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HealthNEWS

February 2015

for Boomers and Beyond

Putting Your Heart to the Test February is American Heart Month, which is the perfect time to think about heart disease, your risk factors and family medical history. If your doctor thinks you may have heart disease, or could be at high risk, he or she may suggest some tests, such as:

Electrocardiogram. Also known as an ECG or EKG, an electrocardiogram records electrical activity in the heart. This helps monitor changes in heart rhythm and may determine if part of the heart is enlarged or not pumping properly. Sometimes Holter monitoring, also called ambulatory EKG, is performed. It involves the use of a small recorder that you wear while going about your normal routine.

Computer Imaging. Tests including CT (computed tomography), MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) and PET (positron emission tomography) use computer-aided technology to gather images of the heart and how it functions.

Echocardiography. This test uses sound waves to create pictures of the heart’s size, structure and motion.

Cardiac Catheterization. Cardiac catheterization provides information from inside the heart’s vessels. It involves the insertion of a thin tube, or catheter, into a blood vessel in your arm, groin or neck. The catheter is threaded to the heart, where it can obtain information, such as blood pressure within the heart and oxygen in the blood. Angiography may be performed in conjunction with cardiac catheterization. It involves injecting dye into the heart’s arteries. The dye, visible by x-ray, reveals blockages and narrowing.

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Stress Testing. Stress tests evaluate how your heart functions when working hard. During an exercise stress test, heart rate, breathing, blood pressure and other aspects of heart function are monitored while you walk on a treadmill. The test can show if the heart’s blood supply is adequate. A thallium stress test is similar but involves the injection of a radioactive substance— thallium—into your bloodstream. Doctors use a special camera to see how much thallium works its way into the heart muscle. That provides information about the heart’s blood supply.

Take Heart If your test results aren’t ideal, don’t despair. There’s a lot you can do to improve things. With your doctor’s guidance, you can be on your way toward better heart health. Jackson Hospital was recently recognized by The Joint Commission as an acute myocardial infarction-certified facility, the first and only one in the state of Alabama. This certification was given because of Jackson Hospital’s dedication to excellent care for the heart attack patient. For more information, visit www.jackson.org/heart.

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BOOM!, The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

Contents

February 2015

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”

Volume 5 Issue 8

Carl Bard

Thought Relationships Taste Inspiration

Humor Advice Health Community

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” C.S. Lewis

3 Jackson Hospital’s Health News 6 Publisher’s Letter 8 Heart Health Leigh Anne Richards 10 Owning your Future with Brandt McDonald 13 Jewish Food Festival 16 BOOM! Cover Profile 20 Here’s How to Make Love Last page 24

Features

24 Music Man

He’s known as the Music Man of Bonnie Blink

Departments 12 This and That

22 The Art of Rhinoplasty Dr. Thomas Cawthon 26 How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... Ask an Elder Law Attorney

34 Spouses/Roommates? You’ve drifted into a sexless marriage.

Now You’re “In the Know”

44 {12} Things

Solutions for Bored Boomers

29 Tax-Related Scams

38 Life in South Walton

30 Sweeten Communication this VALENTINE’S DAY

Bucket List Adventure

31 Ask Nancy: Caring for Aging Relatives 32 Multigeneraltional Travel Study

46 Greg Budell

GOODBYE, MR. BANKS

37 Gallery One Fine Art... Partners Too 41 I am a Hospice Volunteer

BOOM!

42 Sugar – public enemy number 1? Tips with Tracy Bhalla

COVER PROFILE page 16

43 Dating Advice: I think I want my ex back

page 13 page 34

page 43

BOOM! The River Regions 50+ Lifestage Magazine is published monthly by River Region Publications, 6398 Eastwood Glen Pl., Montgomery, AL 36117. The phone number for voice and fax is 334.523.9510. Copyright 2015 by River Region Publications. No part of this publication can be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Opinions expressed in BOOM! The River Regions 50+ Lifestage Magazine are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the view of the owners, nor do they constitute an endorsement of products and services herein.

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Publisher’s Letter

Happy Valentine’s Day? The mission of BOOM! is to serve the folks of the River Region age 50 plus with information and ideas to inspire new experiences, better quality of life and new beginnings.

Publisher/Editor

Jim Watson, 334.523.9510 jim@riverregionboom.com

Associate Editor Kelly Watson

kelly@riverregionboom.com

Contributing Writers Sandi Aplin Amy Bertrand Tracy Bhalla Dr. Michael Bowman Greg Budell

Dr. Thomas Cawthon Diane Cole Lisa Copeland Erica Curless Jeanie Lerche Davis Barbara Grimes David Grimes Brandt McDonald Barbara Pash Leigh Anne Richards Katie Slade Brittany Spahr Nancy Stein Raley L. Wiggins Kathy Witt

Cover Photography Kim Bethea The Studio @ EastChase

thestudioateastchase@gmail.com

Jim Watson, Publisher

One Day? Just one day set aside to express your love/feelings for someone special...ok, time for a little romance honey. It seems unfortunate that men are especially conditioned to react to this “Marketing Holiday” and run out to Winn Dixie and get what ever flowers are left over from the men who reacted a little sooner...REALLY!? Come on men, show your lady some love when she least expects it...SURPRISE is the key word here. If she’s surprised by your unexpected romance, then prepare yourself for some unexpected romance! I think I’m going to try an experiment the rest of the year and pick one day a month and call it “Romance Surprise Day” and on that day my wife will receive a romantic surprise from me, her loving husband. Do you think she’d like that surprise? I’m thinking she would and I believe there might be something in it for me :)

Romance is the theme this month and we begin by featuring Barbara and David Grimes as our Cover Profile. They have been loving on each other for many decades now and they know a thing or two about a loving marriage. We recently sat down with both of them and they shared some of their life journey with us, including some tips on how they’ve made love bloom in their marriage. As if that wasn’t enough, we also have a feature on How to Make Love Last and How to Avoid becoming just Roommates...if you know what I mean. Kathy Witt shows us around South Ft. Walton in one of her Bucket List Features and I’m almost ready to pack! If you need a nice place to stay, drop me a note and I’ll pass along a special listing you’re sure to enjoy. How about a 92 year old dude who still plays his sax for the ladies at Bonnie Blink, he’s a smooth cat from way back, check it out. One of our newest writers is Brandt McDonald. Brandt is a financial professional and leads a team of highly qualified folks who can be some of the best partners you’ll ever know. His column this month is clear and thought provoking. I suggest you give him a read and then begin taking action on your path to “Owning Your Future”, and give him a call. I hope you’ll find plenty more value as you read through this month’s issue, I’ve been told many times, it’s the best reading experience for the 50 + community in the River Region and we will strive to make it so. As always, thanks for being part of what we do. Please continue sharing, I love to listen. And if you’re going to spend some money please consider our advertisers, they value each of you and will work very hard to serve your needs. Remember, you can read and share the Digital & Interactive BOOM! online at RiverRegionBoom. com. Thanks again for being part of our BOOM! Community. Now I need to Google “Romance Surprise Day” and see if I can get some ideas...

Jim

www.thestudioateastchase.com 334.239.3196

jim@riverregionboom.com 334.324.3472 cell/text 334.523.9510 office

Advertising

Jim Watson, 334.523.9510 jim@riverregionboom.com

Design & Layout Lake House Graphics

DIGITAL and INTERACTIVE? When you read the Digital version of BOOM! at

Distribution

Network Delivery

RiverRegionBoom.com, you will be interactive with every

Printing

website and email in the magazine. You can click through

Publications Press, Montgomery, AL 334.244.0436

to your favorite advertiser’s website or send them an email

Please Recycle This Magazine, Share with a Friend!

requesting more info. You will also learn more from our articles because if there’s more information to learn you can click the link and go learn more! “The best reading experience for the 50+ community”

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Heart Health February is designated as heart health month. What an appropriate time to write an article about heart health and exercise. Inactivity is one of the major risk factors for heart disease. However, exercise can improve heart health and in some cases reverse some heart disease risk factors. You heart is a muscle and like all muscles it becomes stronger as a result of exercise; therefore it can pump more blood through the body with every beat and can continue to work at maximum levels, if needed, with less strain. The resting heart rate is slower for those who exercise because less effort is needed to pump blood. A person that exercises often and vigorously has the lowest risk of heart disease, but any amount of exercise is beneficial. Studies consistently find that light to moderate exercise is beneficial for people with existing heart disease. People who do not exercise are almost twice as likely to get heart disease as people who are active. Note, however, that anyone with heart disease or cardiac risk factors should seek medical advice before starting an exercise program.

Sports Medicine. People who maintain an active lifestyle have a 45% lower risk of developing heart disease than sedentary people. Experts have been attempting to define how much exercise is needed to produce heart benefits. Beneficial changes in cholesterol and lipid levels, including lower LDL (bad cholesterol) levels occur

Fitness over Fifty by Leigh Anne Richards

when people performed low to moderate –or high intensity exercise such as walking of jogging 12 miles in a week. However, more intense exercise is needed to see significant changes in increasing the HDL (good cholesterol). An example of this kind of exercise program would be jogging about 20 miles a week or any activity that is comparable. Some studies even suggest that for the greatest heart protection, it is not the duration of a single exercise session that counts but the total weekly amount of energy expended. Therefore, it is recommended 150 minutes a week.

Exercise has a number of benefits on the heart and circulation. The benefits include improving cholesterol and fat levels, reducing inflammation in the arteries, helping with weight loss and helping to keep blood vessels flexible and open. Studies continue to show that physical activity and avoiding high fat foods are two of the most successful ways of reaching and maintaining heart healthy levels of fitness and a healthy weight.

Resistance (strength or weight) training has also been associated with heart protection. It may offer a complimentary benefit to aerobic activity. If you have heart disease, check with your doctor before doing resistance training. You can use weights, resistance bands, or even your own body weight. Do it 2-3 times a week and let your muscles recover for a day in between sessions.

The American Heart Association recommends that individuals perform moderately- intense exercise for at least 30 minutes on most days of the week. This recommendation is also supported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the American College of

What about people that are high risk individuals? Of course, one should consult their doctor before ever undertaking an exercise program. Patients with known heart disease can exercise safely as long as they are evaluated beforehand. Sometimes they need to begin their workout under

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medical supervision. At risk individuals should be aware of any symptoms warning of harmful complications while they are exercising. Some people believe that men over 45 and women over 55 whether or not they are at risk for heart disease should have a complete physical exam before starting or intensifying an exercise program. The following is a questionnaire for people over 40 to help determine whether they require such an exam: • Has any doctor previously recommended medically supervised activity because of a heart condition? • Does physical activity bring on chest pain? • Has chest pain occurred during the previous month? • Do you faint or fall over from dizziness? • Does bone or joint pain intensify after exercise? • Has medication been prescribed for high blood pressure or heart problems? • Are you aware of, or has the doctor suggested any physical reason for not exercising without medical supervision? Those who answer yes to any of the above questions should have a complete medical exam before developing an exercise program. Always listen to warning signs when you are exercising. 40% of young men who die suddenly during a workout have previously experienced and ignored warning signs of heart disease. In addition to avoiding risky activities, the best preventive tactic is to listen to the body and seek medical help at the first sign of symptoms or following exercise. Exercise is a great prescription for keeping heart disease away. Celebrate Heart health this month! Health Guide The New York Times WebMD- Fitness and Exercise

Leigh Anne Richards, MEd, Certified Personal Trainer, Group Exercise Instructor, General ManagerMetroFitness. For any questions or comments, contact Leigh Anne at LAMetrofit@aol.com The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine


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Owning your Future In America, it seems to me that somehow we are all born with a unique genetic code that is a hard wired American drive to own things. Owning things or stuff, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing; however, when this “stuff” begins to impede your ability to manage your life, chaos is sure to show up on the scene. We accumulate all kinds of assets and take great care to protect them. But, what about your greatest asset? Your future and your legacy. You are at the controls of a oneof-a kind vessel that was made specifically for you. From a financial perspective, the question to answer in this article is, what are you doing to own your financial future? Are you at the controls? Or, have you blindly ceded that responsibility over to other people or things? To be clear, let’s examine three things that can help you saddle up in the pilot’s seat! 1. Education – In my 26 year career as a financial advisor, I have never seen a greater opportunity of education because of the information that is available on the internet. There are a multitude of websites, hosted by both private and public organizations, for-profit and non-profit, that can help you become familiar with the terminology surrounding financial products and processes. A simple Google search of “understanding financial products/ markets/money management will lead you to a broad array of various links to get you started. I also want to invite you to tune in to 93.1 FM every afternoon at 5:00, where you can hear me on Greg Budell’s “Happy Hour” show. During my 15 minute segment, I attempt to break down the important financial news of the day. One of my greatest motivation’s in participating on the show is to provide the listener with facts and information that will hopefully help them navigate their way through the financial impact of the everchanging geo-political and global economic landscape. I am so passionate about individual education that it is one of the primary things I do when a new client joins our firm. My strongly held belief is that you are certainly intelligent enough, that once armed with ALL the facts, you can become a more integral part of the decision making process. No longer are you being talked TO!! Once educated, you can pull the chair up next to your financial advisor and be a

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more active participant in executing a wellthought out financial/retirement plan. 2. Seek professional guidance – notice I underlined the word guidance. With you as the pilot, you still need a navigator, ground control, and an instrument panel. For our purposes you need a good attorney, CPA, and wealth management team. All three of these professionals should work together to provide you with the proper information to manage your financial with affairs. By using a Brandt McDonald team approach of professionals you should be able to attain accountability because all three advisors are held to a fiduciary standard to always have your best interests in mind. Developing trust with an advisor takes time, but it is important to provide him or her with ALL the salient information about your personal life. According to a recent CNBC article, Facebook knows more about you than anyone. “With 70 likes, it could know more about someone than their friends, and with 150 it would be more knowledgeable than a family member. With 300 likes it could determine your personality better than a spouse.” Aside from Facebook, no one knows you better than yourself. The goal at our firm is to know our client’s as much as possible. I’ve always said that you never really know a person until you know exactly what it is that person wants out of life. To that end, our firm knows that we have no chance of serving you until we have a complete understanding of what you want your future to look like.

Financial Thoughts

3. Living within your plan – Once the plan has been executed, it’s time to live your life! Too often, I have clients that do everything the right way and never enjoy the fruits of their labor. I’m not exactly sure why that is. Perhaps anxiety and fear are the culprit. Or, maybe it’s just a simple desire to leave everything to the next generation. Whatever the reason, I challenge you to live life to its fullest. I think Eleanor Roosevelt had it right when she said “Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must

never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.” Interestingly, she used the word “his”. Perhaps she was referring to her disabled husband at the time? No matter where you find yourself, always remember that life was meant to be lived. One of the greatest tragedies in life is to have never really truly loved and lived. Once it hits you, the feeling of regret is a pain you live with until you’re gone. Regardless of where you are in your financial life, consider today as an opportune time to reassert yourself as the pilot and take firm control of your future. It’s never too late to start. If you aren’t satisfied with what happened in the past, try something new today. Don’t stay stuck in neutral, drifting without a plan. Remember, that we all have only so many days left on this earth. As we age, each new day becomes more valuable. Whatever you do, don’t exchange a day of your life for something meaningless. Take ownership of your financial future by moving forward. Go slowly if you must, but don’t stand still. Get educated, build your team of advisors, and execute a well thought out plan. Our team at McDonald, Barranco, and Hagen is passionate about offering you financial guidance and considers it on honor to come alongside you as your personal financial navigator. The best things happen when you least expect it. Together, we can boldly live this thing we call life. Until next time, never run with the herd, always be thankful, and look to the future with anticipation of what’s yet to come. Brandt McDonald, Managing Partner McDonald, Barranco & Hagen Wealth Management LPL Branch Manager MBCapitalWealth.com Direct comments and questions to bailey.worrell@lpl.com or 334.387.0094 Securities offered through LPL Financial. Member FINRA/SIPC. The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. The opinions expressed in this material do not necessarily reflect the views of LPL Financial.

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This & tHAT

ClefWorks Presents Deep River World Premiere featuring Imani Winds and Sidney Outlaw Friday, March 6, ClefWorks presents a new song cycle written by composer Mohammed Fairouz and performed by Grammy-nominated Imani Winds and baritone Sidney Outlaw. The set of songs, commissioned by ClefWorks to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Selma to Montgomery March and the 150th anniversary of the end of the Civil War, feature texts that include poetry by Langston Hughes (The Negro Speaks of Rivers; Let America be America Again), the Black Civil War Soldier’s War Chant and the traditional American Spiritual Deep River with a new melody by Fairouz. Deep River, Friday, March 6, 8:00 pm Join us to commemorate the past and celebrate the future in the newly opened Alleyway Warehouse Ballroom on Commerce Street. Tickets are $20 and available at clefworks.org and for more info about Imani Winds visit imaniwinds.com

Montgomery Pinot Festival The annual Montgomery Pinot Festival is happening on Wednesday, February 18th, 6-8 pm. The event will be held at 129 Coosa, above Central Restaurant in downtown Montgomery. For those unfamiliar with the event, it is essentially a wine trade show with an emphasis on Oregon Pinot Noir, with a sprinkle of some California and Burgundy juice to add a little extra flavor. Tickets are $33/each, inclusive of tax and can be purchased at Ted, the Wine Guy located 3062 Zelda Rd. Some of the Wineries expected to attend are Merry Edwards as well as Owen Roe, Soter, Pali, King Estate, Maysara, J. Christopher, Omero, Stoller, Anne Amie and a new-to-Alabama Oregon producer called Ghost Hill. For more info call 334.395.9911 or visit tedthewineguy.com

Jackson Hospital First in Alabama to Earn AMI Certification Jackson Hospital is the first and only hospital in the state of Alabama to earn The Joint Commission’s Gold Seal of Approval for its Acute Myocardial Infarction care. “Achievement of an AMI certification from the Joint Commission speaks volumes about the high quality of care given by Jackson Hospital’s medical team to the patient experiencing a heart attack,” said CEO Joe Riley. “We are extremely proud to be the first and only hospital in Alabama to earn this designation, and we are even more proud of what it means for the communities we serve – excellent care for the heart attack patient right here in the River Region.”

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BOOMERS, share your stuff with BOOM! We Love to Bring BOOMERS Together, send info and pics to jim@riverregionboom.com

Jewish Food Festival Over the years thousands of men, women and children have enjoyed the Jewish Food Festival, including sampling the food; visiting the Treasure Market that promises something for everyone; and stopping by our Temple Beth Or Gift Shop, which has a wonderful selection of jewelry and other gifts. Many also take the opportunity to attend a short session in the Temple’s sanctuary with Rabbi Elliot Stevens to learn about Jewish customs. The central attraction, of course, is the Jewish Food Festival food that may be purchased and most of which have been handmade by Temple members. They include pastries such as rugelach, strudel and mondel bread; plates of brisket or corned beef; matzo ball soup; potato latkes; and quajado (spinach pie). “Imported” from New York are New York cheesecakes, direct from the famous Carnegie Deli and sold by the slice or cake. Temple Beth Or’s Rabbi Stevens says, “I always enjoy the authentic Jewish cooking and the variety of wonderful dishes, but for me L to R, Bari Levin, Lisa Weil, and Susan Finklestein the best part is reconnecting with neighbors and friends from across our community. It’s so gratifying to see the role our Festival has played in terms of interfaith relations and understanding. I look forward to continuing this tradition for years to come.” The Jewish Food Festival is held at Temple Beth Or, located at 2246 Narrow Lane Road, Montgomery. Sunday, February 22nd, 9 am – 2 pm. For more info visit templebethor.net

FREE Estate Planning and Asset Protection Workshop Wednesday, February 18: Hosted by Red Oak Legal, PC: 1:30 - 3:30 pm at the Archibald Senior Center (MACOA) in Montgomery. This educational workshop presented by local attorney Raley L. Wiggins covers wills, trusts, powers of attorney, advance directives, living wills, probate administration, protecting assets from creditors, bankruptcy, divorce and remarriage, nursing homes, long-term care and Medicaid qualification. Registration is required. Call 334.625.6774 today to reserve your seat or register online at www.redoaklegalpc.com.

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Cloverdale Playhouse Presents World Premiere of PASTIME by Greg Thornton Written and directed by Greg Thornton, Artistic Director of the Cloverdale Playhouse, PASTIME was selected as winner of the 2014 Page-To-Stage series. This world premiere production is the first of what will be a long line of plays to originate at the Cloverdale Playhouse. PASTIME is set in the late 1980′s in a large middle-class, suburban/metropolitan neighborhood near New York City. It tells the story of a close-knit family dealing with the loss of the father and the subsequent battle over keeping the family house. Join us for the birth of this new play! February 12th - 22nd, Thursdays-Saturday, 7:30 pm and Sunday 2 pm. For tickets call 334.262.1530 or visit cloverdaleplayhouse.org *Recommended for ages 14 and above*

MACOA’s 21st Annual Culinary Caper Benefitting Meals On Wheels The Montgomery Area Council On Aging (MACOA) will host the 21st Annual Culinary Caper benefitting the Meals On Wheels program on Sunday, March 1st at the Alabama Activity Center from 12:30pm to 2:30pm. Local chefs from the area’s finest restaurants will donate their delicious fare to fortunate guests of this highly anticipated reservationsonly event. Area chefs, coordinated by Al Steineker of The King’s Table Catering, will donate, prepare, and serve their signature gourmet dishes, which will feature a carefully planned menu giving diners a unique taste of all the locale has to offer. A dedicated team of community volunteers will serve each course to over 300 fortunate diners at this seated luncheon. In addition to dining and enjoying Sunday afternoon fellowship in support of Meals On Wheels, a fantastic Silent Auction begins at noon, which will include an array of items ranging from day spa treatments, antique and new jewelry, gourmet dinners, original artwork and gift certificates. MACOA will also raffle chances to win a Personal Chef Dining Experience for a party of 10, prepared by the chef of your choice, valued at $1,000! Attendees may enjoy the Culinary Caper by reservation only. Individual tickets may be purchased for $75 per seat and space is limited. All interested persons are highly encouraged to make their reservations early. Sponsorships also available. For Culinary Caper reservations and more information, please contact Chacolby Burns- Johnson, MACOA Development Coordinator, at 334.263.0532 or cjohnson@macoa.org or visit macoa.org

Worst Passwords of 2014 Password management app company SplashData released its annual list of the “Worst Passwords of 2014,” the 25 most commonly used passwords used online. Once again, both “123456” and “password” top the list as the most common – and thus the most commonly guessed and compromised – passwords of the year. So what makes a good password? Here are some of tips to minimize your risk of password theft: Never reuse the same password across multiple websites. Longer passwords are generally better than shorter ones. Make sure yours have at least 8 characters, preferably many more. Mix numbers, punctuation marks and other unusual characters into it if you can. Consider using a password manager like RoboForm, Dashlane or LastPass to automatically generate and remember complex password strings. 17. access 9. dragon 1. 123456 10. football 18. shadow 2. password 11. 1234567 19. master 3. 12345 The Worst Passwords... 4. 12345678 12. monkey 20. michael are you using any of these? 13. letmein 21. superman 5. qwerty 22. 696969 6. 1234567890 14. abc123 15. 111111 23. 123123 7. 1234 16. mustang 24. batman 8. baseball 25. trustno1 The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine 14 BOOM! February 2015 RiverRegionBoom.com


Baptist Health Physician Receives International Recognition Terry Treadwell, M.D., founder and medical director for the Institute for Advanced Wound Care at Baptist Medical Center South, recently received two prestigious international awards for his work abroad in Haiti. He received the title of Associate Professor of Wound Care at the School of Medicine and Pharmacy, Port-au-Prince, Haiti. He was also received the Honor of Merit for Contributions to Development of Wound Care in Haiti presented by the Minister of Health of Haiti. Among many other honors, Dr. Treadwell was also named to the World Health Organization committee in 2007 to develop wound care guidelines for the treatment of wounds and the delivery of wound care to resource-poor countries worldwide where he remains an active member. Treadwell is a retired vascular surgeon, a profession he performed for 20 years before concentrating on treating patients with chronic wounds. He has been honored with numerous awards and is extremely interested in wound care research. “I enjoy helping patients other doctors may not want to treat,” he said. “I like being able to explore the new and different treatments available to wound care patients.

Depot Theatre Presents I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change is everything you have ever secretly thought about dating, romance, marriage, lovers, husbands, wives and in-laws, but were afraid to admit! This hilarious revue pays tribute to those who have loved and lost, to those who have fallen on their face at the beginning of romance, to those who have dared to ask, ‘Say, what are you doing Saturday night?’ This perfect relationship musical ran for more than 5,000 performances Off-Broadway and has kept audiences laughing from with stories that range from dating to Depends! Show dates are February 5-7, 12-14 at 7:30 pm and February 8 at 2pm. Tickets may be purchased by calling 334.868.1440 or visiting wetumpkadepot.com Box office hours are Wednesday through Friday 9am-3pm. The theatre is located at 300 S Main St in historic downtown Wetumpka.

Hearing Loss Support Group We have an all-volunteer hearing loss support group which meets every second Thursday at 4 pm at the First United Methodist Church. in Cloverdale. There are no cost involved and no reservations are required. We furnish refreshments, too. For more information email Dot Moore, dotmoore@sprintmail.com

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BOOM! COVER PROFILE

Barbara & David Grimes

David, Granddaughter Lyla and Barbara Grimes

This month’s BOOM! profile is Barbara and David Grimes. Barbara is well known to many of you who shop for grandchildren and who have a special interest in custom art projects because she’s the owner of Barb’s on Mulberry, a shop which has distinctly graced the Mulberry District of Midtown for 18 years. David is Barbara’s encourager and partner in the lives they share with the community. From Alabama’s legislature to serving school children they believe in giving back to their community...and have lots of fun along the way. We recently shared some time with them and their three year old granddaughter, Lyla, who has become the apple of their eye... at least until their next grandchild arrives in August! We hope you enjoy getting to know Barbara and David as much as we have.

BOOM!: Barbara and David please give us a brief biography, i.e. where you’re from, education, what brought you to the Montgomery area, did you raise your

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family here, schools, family, etc? Barbara: David is from Phoenix City and I’m from Opelika, Alabama. We both are graduates of Troy University in Troy, David in commercial art and business; mine in art education (k-12) David’s work brought us to Montgomery. Margaret Carpenter hired him for his fist job here with Composit as a graphic designer. For the past 36 years he has been in the insurance business and still holds his real estate license. David is also a trained mediator through The Alabama Bar Association. Our oldest son, John David, 28, is married to Amanda Jernigan – they have a daughter, Lyla, age 3. Our second son, Tyler is 24, both attended Trinity Presbyterian School. Both also still live in the River

Region, where John David is an accountant with Capital Business Equipment and Tyler is in the construction business. We are members of Trinity Presbyterian church. BOOM!: Barb, as an entrepreneur, could you tell us about Barb’s on Mulberry and what motivated you to open this very unique business? What is your formula for success? Barbara: David has always encouraged and supported me to paint and retail my art. While I was the Assistant Director and Public Relations Director of Montgomery Parks and Recreation we traveled to many art shows on weekends and had annual Christmas shows in my home. Then David discovered the present shop location on Mulberry Street, dropped in and asked the lady working at her sewing machine this question, “Have you ever thought of selling

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BOOM!: Many Boomers are experiencing a Barbara: We met in Troy in a laundry mat renewed sense of purpose, new goals, new – David was a senior and I was a freshman. careers, especially if they’ve experienced We kept running into each other at the empty nest syndrome. How would his fraternity house and finally he you describe this sense of renewal in your asked me out after he graduated life? Any advice for the rest of us seeking from college. We married in renewal? Opelika, April 16, 1978. Secrets to our marriage – Our Barbara: Our empty nest is great! FAITH and being prayerful!! Our house stays cleaner longer now, less Also, talk to each other, confront meals to cook and less laundry. even when it hurts and being We are much more independent – we are patient with each other. Just older and wiser about some things too. We love each other no matter what both can just pick up and travel at the last happens. Almost 40 years of minute. David can spend more time on the marriage is not easy – it takes a road helping lot of assist his work... brother in the marriage construction and Barbara and David, Wedding Day business and life are We share a formula for success - Hard I can travel not perfect!! work, persistence and patience. to more art For better for shows, girl worse, for We learned never to give up – we just road trips, richer or poorer, kept moving the cheese. We adjusted our visiting thru sickness inventory to what was popular with our friends or health– till customers. Focusing on Holiday Art in the and family death do us shop has added a long term dimension members part!! We are to my retail business. Designing Barb’s all over the meant to be Tyler, David, Amanda, John David and Barbara, Wedding Day country. I own line of t shirts for children, original with each other Christmas ornaments and hand painted even went – we have too Easter Baskets are just a few things that to Europe with my very best high school much in common. God put us together for make’s Barb’s on Mulberry unique. Also friend for a month this past spring. We a lot of reasons. Our infertility allowed selling my art in surrounding shops in visited London, Paris, Rome, Florence us to adopt two wonderful sons in which the area has been a very good move to and southern Italy. We have a bucket list David was so encouraging and supportive promote my shop and we are trying to complete it – long and artwork. A fairly way to go still – My 2015 goal is to be new enterprise for in art galleries with more of my fine art Barb’s – for ages 4 to paintings – I have to put my mind to it, 100 - is Barb’s “ART don’t get distracted with the everyday ON WHEELS”, where responsibilities of the shop and just start we travel to different doing it – I have nothing holding me back venues ( school, now. daycares, homes, retirement homes, David: I love piddling for hours in my businesses such garage, building, repairing and maintaining Nancy’s Ice, churches, our home, organizing our belongings, etc.) to conduct art driving the tractor and working on the classes with various hunting land! themes of choice. FUN FUN FUN!! Barbara: My Advice...just do it!!!! No David and Barbara more excuses…no more procrastination! BOOM!: Since Valentine’s Day is around Pretend there is no time left – do it now – of adoption. And I know it was meant the corner would you share with our the clock is ticking – we are getting older for me to be David’s wife throughout the readers your love story, how you met and there may not be a tomorrow. challenges of His MS (multiple sclerosis). and some of the secrets to your marriage David’s favorite thing to say to others success? David: More Advice…Buy a NuWave (infra about me is “If YOU ever leave I am going red cooker) – wow – a meal in 9 minutes, with you”!! this shop?” she responded “I dream about it every day”. SOLD!!!! Barb’s on Mulberry was born May 1997. I really did not want to open up a shop but David convinced me it was time and the best thing for me to do. I had been mourning my mother’s recent death and David knew I needed to get out and start painting again.

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meat and lots of fresh vegetables. Finally, learn to secure your home against any outside interference. Practice a home drill of protection with a weapon of choice, “we are both packin’”!

We love to relax on weekends at our lake place at Lake Martin. We love our time together grilling out, enjoy talking on the screen porch and sitting by the fire at the lake. Our favorite thing to do is go boat riding and island hopping searching for BOOM!: Barbara and David, what are you old dock wood for me to paint on. I spend most passionate about? Why? many hours painting by the lake. We also like to play and relax Barbara and David: First at our farm in Macon and foremost, we love County. David loves our freedom! Enjoying to veg out there – he Lyla, our first grandchild, loves the woods, the with another on the way dirt, and the sounds in August. We have been of nature there. His blessed with a good life favorite thing is to and a happy family. We ride his tractor and have raised our children in bush hog. Together a Christian environment, we enjoy riding on both home and school; our 4 wheelers. we are part of a faithful Driving thru the high church family and we lead puddles of water can productive lives with God be challenging, but as our constant protector. so much fun too. I David and I want to be learned how to shoot good examples to others a gun there. Our boys and always do what is enjoy hunting deer right and moral. Living a and duck shooting. David, Barbara and Lyla Christian lifestyle is very We have our annual important to both of us. Easter family reunions there. BOOM!: How do you like to relax and wind down from a hard day’s work?

BOOM!: Favorite vacation spot? Any travel dreams planned for the future?

Barbara: After a day’s work - we both love coming home, starting the nuwave and just chatting over the kitchen counter about the details of our day. David always has lots more stories to share than I :)

Barbara: Our favorite vacation has been on skiing trips with the boys. We had a pop up camper and loved camping with the boys until their senior year of HS. We took many mini camping trips on weekends. Camping

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trips always brought the best out of our boys – loved that there was no TV or radio – just enjoying nature, collecting wood for our fires at night, cooking on our outside gas stove and cuddling up together at night in the camper to stay warm! Our favorite camping spots were Wind Creek at Lake Martin, Chewacla Park and Fort Toulouse, because we felt like we were miles away!! David wants to go to Alaska - salmon fishing and I want to return to Italy to study art history and take more impressionist art tours in France. BOOM!: David, would you share your experience with MS (multiple sclerosis)? How does MS impact your lifestyle/work? David: The nature of the disease is progressive. I was first diagnosed in 1998 with numbness and fatigue. Now, I have loss of mobility, and experience GI circumstances. I take 3 interferon injections a week. I like to say that I have a walking problem – not a thinking problem. More importantly, “the symptoms will persist and progress only while I am Alive!” As an experienced insurance salesman I want to offer some advice, Disability Income Insurance is grossly undersold! I bought personal insurance on my income when I was 30 years old. Consequently, I have received 60% of my pre-disability earnings for the past 18 years. That is a very big deal!! BUY Disability Income Insurance!!! BOOM!: Barbara and David, we

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understand you have another grandchild on the way, what has been your grand parenting experience so far? Do you have grandparent names yet?

Really hard for me but I’m making the adjustment just fine! David just invested in some interesting canes as conversation pieces.

Barbara and David: We are Mimi and Pop – it is a brand new love – a joy that we never had experienced. Adopting our boys was a great joy but having Lyla as our first grandchild has been an even better joy! We love being parents and it is even better as grandparents.

BOOM!: Barbara and David, give us three words that describe you? Your marriage? David: Funny, caring and intellectual; Barbara: Creative, caring and fun! Our Marriage: Faith, commitment, love

With a grandchild we can take more BOOM!: Do David and Barbara, Lake Martin leisure than you have any with our children. We are so much more hobbies or other activities that grab your carefree with her – playing Barbie dolls, attention? art activities, painting projects, puzzles, reading, visiting the Zoo & Museum is so Barbara: Attending Painting workshops much easier as a grandparent. Household with fellow artists, spinining classes, cleaning and other projects are no longer flea markets & estate sales, I also important anymore. We are not as enjoy painting custom orders of art for distracted when spending quality time customers. with her. David: Tending to the woods and hunting BOOM!: What is it about living in the camp, talk radio, keeping Barb happy! Montgomery/River Region area that you like? Barbara: Together we have a 4th of July fireworks store in Equality (near our lake Barbara and David: We love our place) – “POP’s FIREWORKS “- Our family Cloverdale neighborhood and church, runs it during the 4th of July week. It is live near our kids and grandchild and tremendous fun: no CE requirements or are blessed with many dear friends. compliance issues, just fire marshal rules We feel a strong connection to our of common sense and safety. David is a community which provides a sense of PYRO and Lyla is no longer scared of the fulfillment and happiness. We also are sound of fireworks. conveniently located to our favorite forms of recreation…Lake Martin and The Farm! BOOM!: Do you have time to be involved We love living here! in community, civic or other activities? BOOM!: As you’ve aged, have your ambitions changed? Barbara and David: To have a solvent retirement. We have learned what’s really important in life – we don’t worry or get as anxious as we did in our earlier years of raising kids. When David realized he would be using a cane for the rest of his natural life, we have managed to slow down a lot and not be in such a rush all of the time.

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Barbara: Yes, I have always been involved with the community, giving back is important. Currently I am a Sunday School and VBS teacher at Trinity Presbyterian Church; a Nellie Burge board member and art volunteer; Montgomery Jr. League fundraiser volunteer; Alabama Art Colony board member; Kappa Delta alumnae fundraiser volunteer; and I contribute many hours to local schools and charity fundraisers. I also spent time on the

Hospice of Montgomery board, was the Alabama Legislative Spouses President and a Governors House docent. David: Like Barbara, I too value giving back to our community. I serve as a Deacon at Trinity Presbyterian Church; Lifeline Children Services, A Sav-a-life adoption agency, board member for over 25 years; YMCA-Camp Chandler board member –for over 30 yrs; and YMCA Metro Board for over 10 years now. BOOM!: David, are you still involved with politics? Any plans to run for office in the near future? Barbara and David: YES - Politics is in David’s blood and I loved it. David was in the House of the Representatives for 8 years and it was such a great opportunity for both of us. We loved serving our state and community. I was very involved with David’s legislative activities and served as President for the Alabama Legislative Spouses club. We both have gotten so much fulfillment representing our citizens. BOOM!: Barbara and David how have the two of you approached technology in your business and personal lives? Barbara: We both have websites, facebook pages. (personal and business). I rely on both to promote my business. I use instagram too. I send out emails to over 2500 customers with Constant Contact. I design many fliers and ads for ART on Wheels with my Print Master computer program. We Both have ipads. And use them so much. David has a droid (waterproof - it’s a good thing) and my Iphone - I use it often to send instant pictures of art to customers and love recording special moments on the spot of Lyla so we can send them to her parents while babysitting. We do leave technology at the door when we go out to eat sitting at the table or traveling in the car. We want to thank Barbara and David for sharing their story with us this month. If you have any questions for Barbara or David, drop by Barb’s on Mulberry located at 1923 Mulberry St. or visit their facebook page. You can also call the store, 334.262.2272 or email barb2shop@yahoo.com .To learn more about Barb’s visit barbsonmulberry.com. As always, thanks to Kim Bethea from The Studio @ Eastchase for her professional cover photos. If you have questions, comments or suggestions, please send them to jim@riverregionboom.com R ive r Re gio n Bo o m . co m

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Here’s How to Make Love Last Researchers, and headlines, have dubbed it “gray divorce”: the climbing divorce rate in recent decades among couples age 50 and older. But what about marriages that work, even flourish, well into later life? How do couples keep the spark alive? That is the focus of a new book by noted gerontologist Karl Pillemer, 30 Lessons for Loving: Advice From the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships and Marriage. Dr. Pillemer, a professor at Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y., surveyed more than 700 women and men age 65 and older. Among his key findings: A willingness to share new interests in midlife and beyond is critical. “It’s striking how many couples talked about diverging interests as a focal point about whether they became closer or more distant,” he says. Excerpts from a recent Q & A in the WSJ Partner’s Interests WSJ: If you could give one piece of advice for keeping relationships alive through the years, what would it be? DR. PILLEMER: The romantic spark is important, but over the long term there has to be something more, and that is friendship. A core aspect of that is the ability to embrace your partner’s interests, even if you aren’t initially particularly interested. WSJ: What are some examples? DR. PILLEMER: A positive example is a woman in her mid-70s who, after years of being a resentful golf widow, took up the sport with her husband. He told her that had been his life dream for her to play with him. In another case, a husband started going to the ballet and opera with his wife, and she started to go to sports events with him. Rather than fighting about competing interests, figure out how you can share them in a meaningful way. WSJ: Are there everyday behaviors that help for the long run? DR. PILLEMER: Pay attention to and make

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a habit of small, positive everyday actions. Say it’s a cold, rainy morning, and it’s your partner’s day to walk the dog. You offer to do it instead. Or you surprise your partner by cleaning out the garage to give him a break. And don’t forget to give compliments. A major regret I heard was not expressing enough positive feelings, and of too often taking the other for granted. Marriage is made up of thousands of micro-interactions. If you can keep creating positive feelings in those small ways, that will have a major impact. Myth About No Sex WSJ: What about sex? Does that change? DR. PILLEMER: The idea of the sexless older years is really a myth. The major reason that older people aren’t sexually active is lack of a partner. People who have partners and are in reasonable shape do continue to have sexual intimacy. Also, over the years, there is a broadening of the concept of sexuality to involve a greater sense of other kinds of intimacy, such as the importance of touching and a more general sense of physical pleasure of being around one another. One woman told me that if you’re attracted to someone you can feel that way until the end of your life. WSJ: What impact do physical changes over the years have on intimacy? DR. PILLEMER: I thought people would emphasize inner beauty and disregard physical appearance, but I was wrong about that. Over and over people said that if you really want to keep the spark alive you’ll take care of your appearance. That didn’t mean conforming to an impossible standard, but making the most of what you’ve got. Interestingly, male respondents were harder on other men and females on other females. One piece of really good news was that many people said that if you’ve grown old together, your partner seems the same as they always were. WSJ: A study published in 2012 in the Journals of Gerontology found that the rate of divorce among married people 50 and older jumped to 10.05 per 1,000 in 2010 from 4.87 in 1990. Should those statistics scare people?

DR. PILLEMER: I wouldn’t want people to get discouraged. Many people still do make it to the finish line of a lifelong marriage, and a lot of people find a relationship the second time around that is just as happy as, or happier than, the first. So I came away optimistic about marriage in the later years. WSJ: When couples grow apart, should they seek professional counseling before deciding to separate? DR. PILLEMER: The endorsement of marriage counseling was universal among those I interviewed. So many couples went through awful periods and almost broke up, but they held it together and were extraordinarily happy they did so. Others who did divorce wish they had tried harder. Certainly, there are marriages that should absolutely end. But if you’re having trouble and your partner says “we need counseling,” you have to say yes. Many found this was exactly what they needed to save the relationship. Others found that the breakup was far less acrimonious because of it, or felt less regret later because they had tried. Trying Again WSJ: What would your interviewees say to those who are divorced or widowed and looking for love again at middle-age and beyond? What qualities and values should they look for? DR. PILLEMER: If your friends are telling you that your prospective partner seems controlling or disparaging or moody, you should really listen. That is a protection against the feeling that you’re getting older and “this is my last chance.” Many people also suggest making a list: writing down what you are looking for in a relationship. One woman I interviewed had gone through two disastrous marriages, and before entering another, she did just that and showed her list to the person she was dating. The idea of making this explicit early on and writing down what you want and need came up a surprising number of times. WSJ: Any closing advice? DR. PILLEMER: Long-term marriage is a discipline. It’s not always easy. But when it works, it can be incredibly good, kind of transcendentally wonderful. Something worth striving for. For more on this interview visit wsj.com

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The Art of Rhinoplasty Presented by River Region Facial Plastics

All of us have heard the following statement… “It was better in the old days.” Well perhaps that statement is true about a lot of things, but believe me, the statement does not apply to Rhinoplasty. Dr. Thomas H. Cawthon

Every physician who has performed a functional Rhinoplasty (to improve breathing), a cosmetic Rhinoplasty (to change the appearance of the nose), or a combination of the two can attest to the fact that Rhinoplasty is the most difficult of all facial plastic procedures. One of my mentors, Dr. Jack Anderson, once said that of all the Rhinoplasties he performed, being the consummate perfectionist, he only got it to perfection a handful of times. He was a gifted surgeon and was always tweaking his skills to reach a greater standard of success. At an early age all of us imprint on our facial appearance, and the nose is the centerpiece of such. I have done numerous Rhinoplasties, and in 35+ years of practice I have tried to emulate Dr. Anderson’s attempts to achieve the ultimate Rhinoplasty. There have been times when I have witnessed a young patient’s ground swell of confidence and poise when I changed his or her nasal appearance. Their personality blossomed, perhaps they changed their hairstyle, and their complexion received better care. It brings a smile to the patient’s face and mine when observing these changes. Surgical Rhinoplasty is reported to have begun in ancient Egypt and India. The Indian physician, Sushruta, first described nasal reconstruction in a text dated circa 500 BC. Indian society considered the nose to be a symbol of dignity and respect throughout antiquity. As punishment for adultery, nasal amputation was performed and the practice of Rhinoplasty was started to reconstruct the external nose. Reading some of the techniques used in nasal reconstruction boggle my modern thoughts as to how they operated and were able to prevent infections and complications. From those early roots, Rhinoplasty surgery has arisen, and we now have a modernized and civilized approach that is used to correct

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breathing and nasal impairment, as well as change the contours of the nose in a refined manner. Current statistics suggest that over 300,000 Rhinoplasty procedures are done annually in North America. Rhinoplasty is commonly accepted by all ethnic and religious disciplines as a way to change function and appearance. With the possibility of nasal fractures ranking as the most frequently broken bone of the body, it appears the facial plastic surgeon will always have job security. Well, how is the procedure performed? When seeing a patient for a “nose job”, I assess all sense facets of the nose to determine my approach to their needs. I follow a premise of determine your overall approach to nasal deformity and learn to perfect your approach for consistent results! As an Otolaryngologist (ENT physician), I determine a need to correct nasal respiratory impairment, as well as simultaneously correct visible deformities within the facial rules of harmony. In other words, a short nose would not be appropriate for a long and slender face on a tall person. I have my staff take a series of photographs of the person and their nose in varying views, then I offer the patient the ability to view my proposed nasal changes. I enjoy sharing the before-and-after photographs with the patient after healing is complete. Interestingly, many patients seem to suppress memories of their former nasal appearance. An experience comes to mind with a former female patient whom I performed a Rhinoplasty several years ago. She confided that before the surgery she would shield her nose from view by placing her hand on her cheek. The person seated in the adjacent car to the traffic light wouldn’t see her nose. After the surgery eliminated her selfconsciousness about her nasal appearance, she faced the person in the next car and smiled with confidence. There are occasions where insurance coverage will apply to nasal deformity related to breathing impairment. We always strive to help the patient if this is an option. There are also occasions where insurance may cover only the repair of breathing and the patient pays for cosmetic changes. A personal consultation with my staff and me can be obtained to give one a cost analysis.

The Rhinoplasty is performed typically under a general anesthetic in an outpatient setting. Every effort is made to make the surgery as comfortable as possible and to minimize bruising. Medications are placed within the nose to constrict blood vessels and anesthetize the nose. Blood loss is very minimal and many patients have little or no bruising. My approach is with an “open” technique. A delicate W-shaped incision is made across the columella, the tissue between the external nostrils, and combines with a small incision within the nostrils’ interior. Through these incisions, the structural supports for nasal shapes can be sculpted to give the appropriate changes. The incisions are closed with dissolving sutures about the size of a human hair. Correct technique almost always eliminates nasal packing, which formally was placed in outdated techniques. Total nasal obstruction from the packing made it impossible to sleep and one was uncomfortable during the first week after surgery. Splints were frequently used in nasal surgery to secure nasal tissues and prevent bleeding. Seldom do I use them anymore. At discharge from surgery with no packing in the nose and no splints within the nose, patients can breathe while recuperating and they are not as uncomfortable. Patients are requested to refrain from anything that may increase nasal pressures, such as blowing the nose, for one week. They are also asked to sleep with their head elevated for one week. Most all return to work and can be very presentable within one week. Many patients can likely return to participating in sports and exercise in one month. If you have an interest in having a “nose job”, consult with us to determine what is needed. You will be well cared for should you choose to have surgery and no, we will not go back to the “good old days!” Call us at River Region Facial Plastics and let us help you breathe better, remove a “bump” or straighten your twist. All the best, Dr. Thomas H. Cawthon We want your input! Please call or email us with your questions or suggestions for future columns! Call 334.270.2003 or write to Doctors@RiverRegionFacialPlastics.com

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Music Man of Bonnie Blink

By Barbara Pash Gilbert Schuler, right, and his girlfriend Elinor Causey pose for a photo. Both are residents of Maryland Masonic Home in Cockeysville, Md. (Jen Rynda/Baltimore Sun/TNS)

He’s known as the Music Man of Bonnie Blink. It’s an apt title for Gilbert Schuler, a professional musician who, at 92, weekly entertains residents of the Maryland Masonic Homes’ facility in Hunt Valley, where he lives. For decades, Schuler led a 10-piece orchestra that played at more weddings, celebrations and conventions in Baltimore than he can count. He gave lessons and owned a music store in Overlea. His stage name was Gil Monroe, as in the Gil Monroe Orchestra and the Gil Monroe Music Store. “I enjoy making people happy,” said Schuler who once led the most requested orchestra at Overlea Caterers and Martin’s West, and played at venues from the Baltimore Convention Center to the World Trade Center in Baltimore and all the local hotels in between. On a wintry day last week, sitting in his cozy room at Bonnie Blink, a continuing care retirement community, he pulls out two CDs and inserts them in the

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elaborate sound system that occupies most of one wall. He recorded them in his home in Overlea when he was 88. His baritone voice is pleasantly mellow. What astounds, though, is his saxophone playing, both alto and tenor. He also plays the clarinet. He’s got the rhythm but then, he says by way of explanation, “I’ve always loved music.” He took his first sax lessons, he adds, on Sept. 5, 1935, at 13. It’s a very precise date. But Schuler is full of dates, and places as well, a remarkable feat of memory. Except for hearing loss in one ear and the use of a walker, he appears in good health, and certainly good spirits, for a man his age. “I never smoked. I didn’t drink,” said Schuler, who worked in his share of smoke-filled, alcohol-available rooms. “I told everyone around me to do the same. The ones who didn’t listen were dead at 50.

Those who did are still living.” Schuler was born in Highlandtown in 1922 to William and Ethel Schuler. A midwife delivered him at the couple’s home. He had two older brothers, both now deceased. One brother, Albert, was a professional drummer for Bing Crosby’s band in Hollywood, Schuler recalls. Schuler attended what is today called Towson University for two years. He studied sax under Hank Levy, a Towson professor, and keyboard under Eddie Long, a private teacher. Schuler taught at McDonogh School for a decade, and then worked with disabled children at a Baltimore City recreation and parks department-run school. In his store, high school students learned not only music but also rudimentary business skills like operating a cash register and making phone calls to expedite deliveries.

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“It was a good experience for them,” said Schuler, who is divorced, and has no children. A member of the Knights Templar for 65 years, his rank is equivalent to a 32nd-degree Mason. On Jan. 31, 2014, he moved into Bonnie Blink, and quickly made his presence known. Every Friday from 3 to 4 p.m., he performs at Bonnie Blink’s Happy Hour, held in a lounge when the weather’s cold and outdoors on a patio when it’s nice. There’s punch and a frosted cake that says “Happy Hour.” Usually, he plays the sax and takes requests from the audience, fellow Bonnie Blink residents.

Causey said every Saturday, Bonnie Blink brings in a local musician to entertain residents. “A lot of them he’s taught,” she said about Schuler. She said he also makes CDs for residents with songs by Perry Como, Bing Crosby or whoever their favorite singers happen to be. “He’s got a fan club,” Causey said. Kathleen and Bob Smith are regulars at the Happy Hour. The former Glen Burnie

residents moved into Bonnie Blink in 2013. “We like meeting people,” said Bob, a retired computer operator. “We like the snacks and drinks,” Kathleen, a retired state agency employee, said. But mostly, they both added, “We love the music.” (c)2015 The Baltimore Sun Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC

Favorites are “Over the Rainbow,” “Slow Boat to China,” “Stardust” and Broadway show tunes, songs that are familiar to the 30 or so people who regularly attend the event. Often, they sing along. “I don’t have trouble remembering the songs. I’ve been playing them my whole life,” Schuler said. He said among career highs, he ran a string band for the Boumi Temple, was once named Man of the Year by the Baltimore Yacht Club and, in 1965, played tenor sax in the band that played for singer Stevie Wonder in Baltimore. “The residents love it,” Nicolle Hahn, life enrichment assistant at the approximately 300-resident Bonnie Blink, said of Schuler’s Happy Hour performances. “They tell me, ‘It’s so nice of him to play for us.’ He plays songs they can relate to.” Bonnie Blink resident Elinor Causey met Schuler at a Happy Hour. She asked him if he knew the song “In Heaven There Is No Beer.” Yes, he knew it. “Good,” she told him, “because every pub I’ve been in plays that and ‘Danny Boy.’ “ “We hit it off,” said Causey, 87, a retired school teacher, widow, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother who moved from Westminster to Bonnie Blink five years ago. The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

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Ask an Elder Law Attorney By: Raley L. Wiggins | Attorney at Law | Red Oak Legal, PC

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... The English poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning penned those famous lines around 1845 in a sonnet dedicated to her future husband, Robert Browning. The sentiment has been quoted so often it has become a part of our popular culture, seen in everything from Hallmark cards to Bugs Bunny cartoons. While most of us are familiar with the opening stanza of the poem, I suspect that few of us can recall all fourteen lines of the sonnet’s iambic pentameter. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, take a moment to read the entire poem: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day’s Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

This poem is a love letter, written in an era where people sat in contemplation by candle light with nothing to distract them but books, lively conversation, or perhaps even pen and paper. Not a modern, cheap, disposable ball-point pen mind you, but a finely-tipped fountain pen which applies ink to paper via a method that is essentially a controlled leak. The ink, once applied to paper, would have to be blotted dry to avoid smears and smudges. When was the last time you sat down, shut out the distractions of modern society, and wrote a letter to someone you loved? Not an email, not a text, not a Facebook post or Tweet, but an honestto-goodness paper letter?

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We rarely take the time to express our feelings to our loved ones the way the future Mrs. Browning did when she wrote the lines quoted above. While we may not write many letters these days, an

Once we leave this earth, an estate plan is also an opportunity to give gifts of property to the people we care about. They may be sentimental gifts, like family heirlooms, or they may be monetary gifts. They may even be gifts of Estate Planning and Asset Protection Workshop education, ensuring that Wednesday, February 18: Hosted by Red Oak Legal, PC: 1:30-3:30 children or pm at the Archibald Senior Center (MACOA) in Montgomery. This grandchildren educational workshop presented by local attorney Raley L. Wiggins go to college. covers wills, trusts, powers of attorney, advance directives, living You might wills, probate administration, protecting assets from creditors, even leave bankruptcy, divorce and remarriage, nursing homes, long-term care a gift of and Medicaid qualification. Registration is required. motivation— conditioning Call 334-625-6774 today to reserve your seat or register online at such gifts on www.redoaklegalpc.com. achieving certain goals, estate plan can be a final expression of like a minimum GPA, for example. love, a love letter of sorts, to the people we care about most. Every person’s estate planning goals will of course be unique. Every family is Think about it: the one person who will unique. That is why you, and only you, not be around to benefit from your estate can adequately craft a final expression of planning is you. Getting your affairs in love to the people you care about. Most order is not a selfish act, it is a gift to your love letters are written by the young, loved ones. And I’m not just talking about but you shouldn’t assume that estate monetary gifts. planning is only for the old, the sick, or the dying. To the contrary, the best time For example, what if you were in a terrible to draft your final love letter to your car accident, and your family had to family is while you are strong of body and make the decision whether to continue sharp of mind. to keep you alive using machines or other treatments that would serve to prolong This year, skip the flowers and chocolate, your life, but that would not cure you. turn off the TV, shut down the cellphone, In those conversations, the topic usually and write a letter to someone you love. turns to what you “would have wanted.” Without written instructions, your family is left to guess whether you would want Raley L. Wiggins to be kept alive indefinitely, or whether Attorney at Law, Red Oak Legal, PC you prefer to be allowed to die a natural 334-239-3625 | info@redoaklegalpc.com death. (If you’re familiar with the famous 445 Dexter Avenue, ste 9000, Mont, AL 36104 Terry Shaivo case from the 1990’s, her www.redoaklegalpc.com family spent several years debating whether Terry “would have wanted” to be kept alive using machines, even though she was permanently unconscious).

Attend Free Workshop

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The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

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advertorial

Montessori@Mulberry The River Region’s Preferred Montessori Preschool M@M’s New Expanded Campus

Montessori @ Mulberry has added a new building to its Mulberry Campus. The building is a charming house, newly renovated, next to the current location and includes a classroom, a Montessori Resource Center and an additional playground. We have also expanded our classroom to the outdoors with “The Children’s Garden.” Our students now participate in all the phases of gardening: from germination, planting, caring for and harvesting an organic crop. According to Jackie Maloy, Executive Director, “The response to our unique educational approach has been very positive and we are excited to offer more opportunities for parents who appreciate the Montessori Education we specialize in.” Elena Olson-Shimp and Milan Crittenden

M@M Location

Montessori@Mulberry is centrally located in Midtown Montgomery a few blocks from Jackson Hospital and Huntingdon College. Conveniently located just blocks from Interstate I-85.

The M@M Classroom

In the Montessori classroom, each child is encouraged to reach his or her full potential in all areas of life. The specific needs of individual children are met at each developmental level. The classroom contains many multisensory, sequential and self-correcting materials that facilitate learning. Concepts are presented concretely and students work with materials until Neah James they are ready to move to more abstract materials. Children are free to work at their own pace with materials they have chosen. All classrooms have multi-age groupings, which encourages a family-like atmosphere where learning can take place naturally. Our curriculum, which is challenging, interdisciplinary and real world related, provides a strong academic bridge to elementary school. Annalise Applegate

Why Choose Montessori @ Mulberry

Is it a coincidence that many of the mavericks on the leading edge of innovation and creativity in our culture are Montessori graduates? The founders of Google and Amazon.com along with T. Berry Brazelton, noted pediatrician, to Peter Drucker, the well known management guru, were all educated in the Montessori Classroom. As you research and think about how you want your child to begin his or her education, Montessori @ Mulberry should be at the top of your list. We offer certified Montessori teachers in each classroom and a quality environment designed for fostering the love of learning. As a parent, you want the “peace of mind” knowing your child will have the opportunity to learn and grow according to his or her ability. We invite you to call Jackie MaloySriram Madadi Watson at 265.7733 to schedule a tour and discover why Montessori @ Mulberry is the River Region’s preferred Montessori Preschool. Begin your child’s education for life with the skilled staff at Montessori @ Mulberry.

Offering Exceptional Educational Experiences for children 12 months through Kindergarten. Limited space available beginning January 5th, 2015

Call Jackie Maloy-Watson Today to Schedule Your Tour @ 334-265-7733 or Cell 334-462-0548 casadebambini@aol.com _ www.montessoriatmulberry.com _ 2034 Clubview St. in the Mulberry District February 2015 RiverRegionBoom.com The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine 28 BOOM!


Huge Increase in Tax-Related Scams Identity theft is a serious crime. The phrase likely brings to mind stolen credit cards and fraudulent new accounts being opened. But today, the U.S. Federal Trade Commission kicked off Tax Identity Theft Awareness Week to call attention to a new, insurgent type of scam – one where criminals steal your identity to steal your tax refund. In the scam, a stranger (or possibly someone you know) starts by stealing your social security number. They then fraudulently file a tax return in your name, requesting a large refund payout from the IRS. The bad guys make off with your hard-earned cash, leaving you to unravel the mess they’ve made of your financial records. That’s not the only type of IRS-related scam being perpetrated now that we’re entering tax season, either. According to the FTC, there’s been a 24-fold increase in reports of criminals posing as IRS agents to scare victims into sending them cash or a pre-paid debit card number.

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

“We’ve seen an explosion of complaints about callers who claim to be IRS agents – but are not,” explains Jessica Rich, director of the FTC’s Bureau of Consumer Protection. “IRS employees won’t call out of the blue and threaten to have you arrested or demand specific methods of payment.” What can you do to prevent these types of tax scams? First of all, keep your social security number protected and note that the IRS will never contact you by email, text or social media message to request personal information. Second, don’t wait until the last minute to file your tax return – thieves won’t be able to steal your tax refund if you’ve already claimed it yourself. Finally, keep a close eye on your mailbox for letters from the IRS during tax season. If someone steals your identity and files a duplicate tax return, the agency will send you a letter to report the problem.

If you do find yourself a victim of tax identity theft, it’s important you contact the IRS right away to report the fraud. The IRS Identity Protection Specialized Unit can be called directly at 1-800-908-4490. You can also file a complaint with the FTC by calling 1-877-FTC-HELP or visiting the agency’s website, irs.gov Content provided by techlicious.com

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Sweeten Communication this VALENTINE’S DAY Having a spouse or significant other with hearing loss can have its challenges. One common challenge many couples experience is dining out with someone who has a hearing loss. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, many couples may be looking forward to treating their spouse to a romantic evening out. Doctors Hearing Clinic wants you to enjoy your night out and give you and your spouse a few ideas to help when planning a special evening out when one or both individuals have hearing loss. First, start thinking about where you would want to go eat. There are a variety of different restaurants to choose from with a variety of listening environments. Try selecting a couple of restaurants that you have previously visited, or a restaurant suggested by family and friends that is known for great food and a good atmosphere. In addition to picking a restaurant with great food and a good atmosphere it is also important to pick a restaurant that has minimal noise levels and good lighting to more easily allow the conversation to be heard and seen by someone with hearing loss. One way to help manage the noise level in the restaurant is to talk to the owner or manager, if possible. Inform the manager what day you are planning to visit their restaurant and that your significant other has hearing loss. When talking to the manager try to ask things such as: What are the quietest dinner times in your restaurant? Does your restaurant have good lighting? Are there any accommodations that can be made to sit us in a quieter section of the restaurant? Does your restaurant

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have music playing during dinner, and would you be able to turn it down? Once you found a restaurant that has Most restaurants will be honest and will the right communication atmosphere be happy to it is always best to accommodate make reservations. you the best Sitting in the waiting By Dr. Brittany Spahr and Dr. Katie Slade way that they area with everyone can. After so close can make explaining that for a hard listening your spouse has environment, so hearing loss, it is having a reservation also important would help avoid to inform the communicating with manager that a lot of background individuals with noise. If the restaurant hearing loss have more difficulty when does not take reservations try to arrive early to avoid the crowds. listening in background noise. Ask the manager if you could have a booth that is in the corner of the restaurant that is When talking to your spouse try to not near the kitchen, bathroom, or the talk slowly. If they have misheard what front door. Good lighting is important for was said try to ask what they did hear communicating because many individuals so you don’t have to repeat the entire conversation and can just fill in the with hearing loss rely on speechreading, or reading lips, and therefore they would missing pieces. As mentioned earlier, need to have good visual access to their many individuals rely heavily on reading spouse’s face. The more information that lips to fill in the missing information so can be provided to the manager the more make an effort to not have your hands or likely the best accommodations can be napkin covering your mouth so they can made for you and your spouse. clearly see your lips and mouth. Most of all, don’t forget to be patient, enjoy each other’s company, and best of all… Additionally, if your significant other celebrate with dessert! has hearing aids and has a program for noisy situations, encourage Call Doctors Hearing Clinic to find out them to use this how you can sweeten communication program when at this Valentine’s Day. We wish everyone the restaurant. a Happy Valentine’s Day! If there are The hearing aid any questions regarding hearing aid program reduces programs for noise or any additional the background communication strategies please do not noise that is hesitate to contact our office at (334) behind them and 396-1635. focuses more on Content adapted from Captel: http://www.captel.com/ what is in front news/hearing-loss/planning-romantic-dinner-significant hearing-loss/ of them so it is best if the individual isn’t sitting against the wall facing the Dr. Katie Slade is a Board Certified Audiologist and noise. When in this program you would a fellow of the American Academy of Audiology. Dr. want to sit in a booth with your spouse’s Brittany Spahr is a Doctor of Audiology and a fellow of the American Academy of Audiology. Amy Davis back against the restaurant noise so the is a Doctoral Extern from the University of South hearing aid can help block out the noise. Alabama.

Healthy Hearing

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine


Ask Nancy: Caring for Aging Relatives Nancy Stein answers your questions about caring for aging relatives

A Solution for a frustrated long-distance caregiver. Q: My father, age 87, has lived alone for many years. He’s recently had some health issues and though he remains pretty independent, he now has a livein aide who helps him with his dinner, errands, transportation, and assists him a bit in the mornings. I live a few hours away by plane and am able to visit him often. I’ve tried to convince him to move near me, but he has many friends in his apartment building, and is comfortable and well situated with his healthcare. I love visiting him, but when I go home I feel anxious, that I should be doing more for him. Any suggestions? _Debbie G. A: I too was a long-distance caregiver so I appreciate your feelings of anxiety or helplessness when you can’t be with your father as often as you would like. But you have described him as content, well cared for and surrounded by friends. A trifecta we should all aspire to in our senior years! May I suggest that you splurge for a pair of tablets that you can use to communicate with each other regularly?

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

Skyping with your father and his aide would allow you to see firsthand how he is doing and you would feel more present in his life. A client of mine, faced with the same challenge of longdistance caregiving, told me that tablets turned out to be a “fabulous solution” for her family; “My father loves skyping and won’t even talk by phone unless he can use the FaceTime feature. It’s also been great for his caregiver who now sees his loving interactions with us. It helps her understand my father more and makes for a better caregiving experience for everyone involved.” There are several companies near where he lives that can help set up the tablet for him, install Wi-Fi in his house, and teach him and his aide how to use it. Of course, he’ll have many more reasons to enjoy it, from reading books, to viewing

family photos and surfing the Web, if he is so inclined. I do think that tablets and skyping are the next best thing to being there.

Nancy Stein, Ph.D., is the founder of Seniority Matters (senioritymatters.com), a caregiver advisory and referral service in South Florida for seniors and their families. You can contact her at nancy@senioritymatters.com. (c)2015, Seniority Matters Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC

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Multigeneraltional Travel Study: Kids call the shots; grandparents foot the bill, By Amy Bertrand

Multigenerational travel is nothing new; families with little ones have been traveling with grandparents for years. But it does seem to be a growing phenomenon. So much so that Preferred Hotel Group did a study on it to help understand customers. “Multigenerational travel is poised for rapid and sustained growth,” according to the study by Preferred Hotel Group to identify emerging trends in multigenerational travel.

percent vs. 25 percent), are inclined to pay for multigenerational trips to “help family members enjoy a vacation they otherwise could not afford.” Classic destinations are hot Orlando (25 percent) and the National Parks (17 percent) top the list of

Among travelers who took a multigenerational vacation last year, 77 percent agreed that taking such a vacation “is something they try to do every year” _ a sentiment that is particularly true for Millennials (91 percent) and Gen Xers (80 percent).

Some of the findings from the 100page study are quite interesting. I’ve highlighted a few below. Children relish planning Fully 40 percent of both grandparents and parents say their children “actively participate in or influence vacation planning,” specifically with respect to daily activities (77 percent) and deciding which destinations to visit (62 percent). Almost half (49 percent) of all multigenerational travelers agree their grandchildren influence the selection of the hotel or resort. Grandparents pay to play Grandparents, more so than parents (35

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An expanded definition of “family” Multigenerational vacations now represent half of all vacations taken by both grandparents and parents. While these parties consisted of grandparents, parents, and their children on 44 percent of such trips, the makeup of the multigenerational travel group has expanded beyond immediate family to include siblings (31 percent), nephews/ nieces (20 percent), and non-relative friends (20 percent) on one or more of the multigenerational vacations taken by the other 56 percent. Same time next year

domestic destinations multigenerational travelers would like to visit during the next two years, while the Caribbean (29 percent) and Western Europe (28 percent) top the list of international “dream destinations.” The destinations of greatest interest within Europe are Italy (17 percent), England (16 percent) and France (16 percent).

Familiar favorites, or the road less traveled? Multigenerational travelers display great loyalty to the destinations they visit, with 35 percent intending to visit the same destination on their next multigenerational trip. Perhaps not surprisingly, beach vacations (35 percent) and theme park vacations (28 percent) are the most popular types of multigenerational vacations. (c)2015 St. Louis Post-Dispatch Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine


Annual Benefits

Saturday

Thursday

May 2, 2015

March 12, 2015

3:30pm to 6:00pm

8:30am to 12:30pm

Alley Station Ballroom and Rooftop

Montgomery Country Club

To purchase tickets or register visit: www.hospiceofmontgomery.org

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

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By Jeanie Lerche Davis, WebMD Feature

Are You Spouses or Just Roommates?

You’ve drifted into a sexless marriage. Can this relationship be saved? Yes, experts say.

There’s no drama, no fighting. You’ve been together for years, raised kids and pets. The love is still there, but the spark just isn’t. As months drift into years, you realize: You’re in a sexless marriage. Most married couples don’t really know what to expect of a longterm relationship, says Diane Solee, MSW, a former marriage counselor who is the founder and director of Smartmarriages.com. She is also director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education. “It’s so normal to hit the doldrums. In a way, you should be smug about it,” Solee tells WebMD. “You have a partner who is not bringing drama into your life. You’re not going to alcohol or cocaine treatment classes. You are in a very good place. Realizing all that, your job is to get out of the doldrums. You may have gotten into a rut.” There’s more at stake than simply boredom. Very often, couples are headed toward a bigger disconnect in the marriage -- and possibly divorce, says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, professor of sociology, psychiatry, and behavioral medicine at the University of Washington in Seattle. Schwartz is on the Health Advisory Board at WebMD, and author of several books including Prime: Adventures and Advice about Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years. Signs you’re in the marital doldrums: “You’re leading parallel lives, and don’t see each other anymore,” she tells WebMD. “You tell everything important to your friends but not to each other. Those are really big problems, and you’ve got to tend to them.” A sharp tongue is a red flag of growing frustration in a passionless marriage, Schwartz adds. “If you’re bitchy, if you treat each other with contempt, it’s a warning sign. It may not happen all the time, but it happens often. It’s because people start to feel neglected, disappointed. They had expectations of what marriage should be

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like, and this is not what they’d hoped for.” In fact, boredom is very often a cover-up for anger and disappointment, Schwartz explains. “Those deeper feelings have to be dealt with. I’m not talking about deep therapy; it can happen in one or two visits. But there has to be a refocusing on the relationship... a renewal of what this marriage is supposed to be.” The Anatomy of Love First step: Be realistic. If you’re looking for the swept-off-your feet sex of those first few years, dream on. And a new partner certainly isn’t the solution. Three years later, you’ll have the same sizzle-less marriage you have right now. “The initial passion of any relationship changes after 18 months,” says Sallie Foley, MSW, director of the Center for Sexual Health at the University of Michigan. She is the author of Modern Love and Sex and Love for Grownups. “It moves from the romantic and exciting to an attachment kind of loving, fondness,” Foley tells WebMD. “That gotta have it, gotta have it feeling is gone.”

Take stock of what you want, she advises. If you want a sex life, then commit to making it happen, Foley says. “Not everyone wants a sex life as they head into last third of life. But AARP studies show that 65% remain sexually active.” Put aside the romanticized, silver-screen notions of sex, Foley says. “The majority of people your age are having good-enough sex. Occasionally, they have sex that knocks it out of the ballpark. But they’re having sex regularly. They’re getting into bed, hugging and touching, canoodling as I call it, and they’re doing it on a regular basis.” You’ve also got to set aside negative attitudes about your spouse. “You have to give up fantasy notions that he or she is suddenly going to be 20 pounds lighter with no cellulite. You have to decide, ‘This is what I want, how do I proceed,’” she advises. Then, have “the talk” with your spouse. You have to be willing to say this to your partner: “We need to jazz up our sex life. We have fallen into some bad habits. I’m not going to settle for this level. We need to have sex, the same as we do other things that are important to us. We have to set aside time for it.’” The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine


He’s Just Not Up for It? If your partner is unwilling, here’s your dialogue: “We need to go for a brief round of counseling to get our priorities straight. I’m not willing to settle for a relationship where you sit in a chair, pop a few beers, and our sex life is over.” The stereotype of grumpy old men exists for a reason, Foley explains. “With aging comes an increase in depression and irritability. Women complain to me -- I was ready to try these things, but I couldn’t get my partner to do it.” Often, the irritability and crankiness is actually masking anxiety and depression. If your partner is downright snarly about it, then you’ve got to stand your ground. “This isn’t the kind of thing in this day and age that people live with,” she says. “Our parents or grandparents may have lived that way, but we don’t anymore.” With therapy and the right medication, the irritable anxiousness and depression can disappear. If your partner won’t go to counseling, then you need to go alone, she says. “Counseling can help you figure out strategies to help yourself.” Put Sex on the Schedule If you’re both on the same page, it’s time you put sex on the schedule. Think of it as exercise, your regular workout -- whatever time of day you choose. After all, sexual health is an important part of general health, Foley says. “It’s a very healthy thing for a partnership, there’s no question about that,” she tells WebMD. “People who have sex tend to feel closer, more intimate.” When you’re over 40, there’s definitely a “use it or lose it” aspect to sex, she adds. “That means you have to do it every day. You have to be committed to intimate time together. That doesn’t mean every single time you take off your clothes and have sex. But set aside time just for the two of you.” Fall in Love Again Outside the bedroom, you must make time for each other. “If you’re bored, you can figure your partner is probably bored, too,” says Solee. “Think what would put excitement into your life. Take responsibility for doing something about it. You really owe it to yourself.”

Take a cooking class together, take up kayaking or dancing -- or sign up for a sex workshop, she advises. “Share each other’s interests. Find new interests together. Single people can follow their own interests. You don’t want to send your partner off to a class alone. Mother Nature abhors the doldrums, so don’t let someone else fill it.”

becoming aroused. A vibrator can help with that, she advises. “After menopause, they may need a more intense vibration, at least initially, if a woman hasn’t been sexual in awhile. She may need a vibrator.”

Trying something new requires a lot of focus -- and that’s good for your sex life. “It’s like when you had kids, or bought your first house. People actually fall in love again.”

Many vaginal products contain estrogen (which can come in cream, vaginal ring, and vaginal tablet formulation), which helps with dryness, irritation, and muscle tone in the area. If you cannot take estrogen, products like Replens or K-Y Jelly can help with lubrication.

If vaginal dryness and pain are issues, look into topical lubricants and moisturizers, Foley adds.

Between the sheets, keep things spontaneous and fun, she says. “The phone is turned off, the dog is behind the door. You get into bed with an attitude of good will. You don’t have to have an attitude of ‘complete hot.’ That’s a big misconception.” Allow each other plenty of sensual time to get warmed up. When you’re over 40, foreplay is important in building arousal and desire. “When we’re 20, it’s all pretty straightforward -- desire, arousal, orgasm. After age 40, you need to give arousal more time. You get into bed, start doing it -- then you start feeling some physical arousal. That increases your desire, which increases more arousal.” Also, your mind-set changes. “As men get older, they get more focused on eroticism,” she says. “They’re much more interested in pleasure, in having the connection. Women start asking for what they want.” Couples should also develop a “sexual style,” Solee tells WebMD. “Most people think that if they’ve found a lover and soul mate, the sex will be great. Early marital sex is essentially sex with a stranger. This is about letting your partner know you, and getting to know them, intimately. Marital sex can be hotter if you can develop an intimate sexual style with your marriage partner.” Vibrators and Pills Tools and toys are important, too. Men: Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis can be effective in men with erection problems, but if you have certain medical conditions or are taking certain medicines, you may not be able to use them. Ladies: Don’t fret if you’re not feeling desire right away. Enjoy the process of

Try a Marriage Retreat Keeping your marriage on track -sexually and otherwise -- requires good communications skills, Solee adds. A therapist can guide you toward improving those skills, possibly recommending a marriage retreat. “It’s not our differences that pull us apart, it’s how we handle them,” she tells WebMD. “You need to really listen to your partner in a way he knows you love and respect him. Take a marriage cruise or retreat or a wilderness workshop. Learn to disagree in ways that breed joy and intimacy.” Marriage education classes are also held in local community centers, churches, and military bases, she adds. Some workshops are intense group therapy for couples. “Some are enrichment weekends -- you learn to massage each others’ feet, or talk about sensuality. It depends on how deep your rift is, whether a therapist would recommend a lighter or deeper workshop,” Schwartz says. Group therapy lets you see the relationship more clearly. “Often, people find it easier to give empathy to other people than to each other,” she explains. “But once empathy is in the room, it kind of fills the room. It helps you give it to each other.” You learn from other couples in the room, Schwartz adds. “Some people give voice to something you haven’t been able to. It’s different if it doesn’t come from an authority figure. It becomes a discussion among equals. Other people can see things you may not see. If everybody looks at you and says, ‘Why are you being so hard on her?’ everything changes. You suddenly see, whoa, I am.” For more info about this feature and others visit webmd.com

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FEBRUARY EXHIBITION: Gallery One Featured Artists

I’m A-Walkin’ In The Rain 30x24 oil on canvas Pam Wesley Copeland

galleryonefineart.com/Pamela-Wesley-Copeland

Summer Summons 30x40 mixed media Cecily Hulett

Holey Tulip 7x5 wood sculpture, Ken Lever

galleryonefineart.com/Cecily-Hulett

galleryonefineart.com/Ken-Lever

Easter 30x24 oil on canvas Anita Westerberg

galleryonefineart.com/Anita-Westerberg

Summertime I, 18x24 acrylic on canvas, Jane Segrest galleryonefineart.com/Jane-Segrest

Tree of Life, 24x18 acrylic on canvas, Jim Sabel galleryonefineart.com/Jim-Sabel

Briefly A Saint, 24x20 oil on canvas John Wagnon galleryonefineart.com/John-Wagnon

Low Country Marshes 20x24 oil on canvas, Anne Hugghins galleryonefineart.com/Anne-Hugghins

Flowing Thru Me, 10x10 oil on canvas Judith Ivy Hayden galleryonefineart.com/Judith-Ivy-Hayden

After the Harvest, 18x24 acrylic on canvas, Shirley Esco galleryonefineart.com/Shirley-Esco

Petty Flash I, 48x36 oil on canvas, Richard Mills

galleryonefineart.com/Richard-Mills

Among the Woods and Waters, 24x20 acrylic on canvas John Mazaheri

galleryonefineart.com/ John-Mazaheri

Tangerine Tango 48x36 oil on canvas, Carol Barksdale

galleryonefineart.com/Carol-Barksdale

Visit Gallery One Fine Art 423 Cloverdale Road, Montgomery, AL Gallery Director Sandi Aplin www.galleryonefineart.com


By Sandi Aplin

Art & Soul

Gallery One Fine Art...Partners Too In January we look back at 2014 and Hours in support of the Chamber of forward to 2015. 2014 was a very Commerce. As an example, Gallery busy year for One partnered with their Gallery One and participation in “Art in its members. the Dark” downtown on The new phrase Moulton Street. and with we hear and the Carlisle Collection see written so New York “Art and much these days Fashion” is Partnering and this is what Art Appreciation Graduation Luncheon, Gallery One Gallery One hosts their Gallery One Fine trunk show four times a Art has been doing for the last 14 year. All of these events in addition years. Just to name a few… to our Art Openings in Spring and in the Fall. They partnered again this year with the AUM Life The Gallery Long Learning One members Institute here also help in Montgomery support teaching another numerous wonderful class charities of 25 very good in the river students “Art region. The Appreciation” members Women’s Philanthropy Board, Auburn University, Auburn painted Gallery One Partnered with the bird houses for the Sunshine Cary Center for the Advancement of Center, doll houses for Habitat For Philanthropic Studies - a division of Humanity, lawn chairs for Leadership the College of Human Science in Auburn at Auburn University “The Art of Philanthropy”

Montgomery and very large medal fish sculptures which can be seen in the downtown area. As an Alabama Not-For-Profit Corporation, philanthropy is the heart of this gallery.

Sandi Aplin, Director of Gallery One Fine Art A freelance writer living in Montgomery, AL sandiaplin@aol.com galleryonefineart.com

Moore Wealth Management in Montgomery and Auburn “The Art of Finance”, we open a new show at their offices quarterly, the last one opened in December and featured the artwork of artist Jim Sabel, the title of the show was In His Own Words. Gallery One attends meetings, 60 Minute Coffees, Business After The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

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Bucket List Adventure by Kathy Witt

Life in South Walton

There is something in the air and mood of South Walton, Florida. You can sense it as soon as you arrive in this well-scrubbed, preservation-minded town made up of 16 unique beach communities, close-knit next-door-neighbors that stretch along 26 miles of velvety-white sand lapped by the turquoise waters of the Gulf of Mexico. There’s a lighter step, a contented mien and an overarching sensibility that is always laid-back yet keenly fashionforward. With architecturally beautiful, masterplanned neighborhoods, four state parks, miles of pedestrian-friendly walking and biking trails and acres of native vegetation including photo-worthy pine groves, life is good in this beach-chic burg. Add coastal dune lakes, cypress swamps, dunes as white as snow and breathtaking sunsets that appear to melt into the Gulf and it follows that the folks who live here, as they freely admit, are a happy lot. “If you meet a mean person, they’re not from here,” said Megan Harrison, marketing manager at the newly renovated Hilton Sandestin Beach Golf Resort & Spa. One town, but oh so many personalities. South Walton’s beach neighborhoods are as individual as grains of sand. From the “old Florida” feel of Seagrove and the picket fence charm of Seacrest to the alabaster enclave that is Alys Beach with its stunning white stucco architecture and South Walton’s very own “French Quarter” at Rosemary Beach, each community has its own niche on the spunky to spectacular Emerald Coast continuum. Although its season goes full-tilt from Memorial Day through Labor Day, South

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Walton is seductive in spring and fall when the sunsets are said to be at their most gloriously picturesque and the crowds have reduced their ranks. But even in winter, South Walton is inviting, with temperate climate, brilliant blue skies and warming sun. You might find yourself playing at the beach one day, painting a landscape under the nurturing tutelage of an award-winning artist the next and ice skating at the Village of Baytowne Wharf, a veritable family playground with carousel, video arcade, boutiques, dining and more located at the Sandestin Golf and Beach Resort, the day after. Easy going by design and demeanor, South Walton slows down even more during winter months. What’s the rush? You can stroll stretches of uncrowded beaches at your leisure; shop without bumping elbows at specialty stores, neighborhood boutiques and artist communities; and linger over meals to savor every single bite of what can only be called divine gastronomy. Head to AAA Four Diamond-rated Seagar’s Prime Steaks and Seafood at the Hilton Sandestin Beach Golf Resort & Spa for table-prepared dishes like Steak Diane, Dover Sole and Bananas Foster served in smart, sophisticated surroundings. Enter Ernest Hemingway’s world at Havana Beach Bar & Grill, a culinary hotspot with an impressive hand-carved mahogany bar, an exact replica of the one at La Floridita in Cuba where Hemingway enjoyed a tipple or three, located at The Pearl in Rosemary Beach. The chefs on Airstream Row, a collection of funky food trucks parked in Seaside’s town

square that are actually Airstream trailers, serve up everything from gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches to smoothies to smokydelicious barbecue. And vegetarians, rejoice! South Walton chefs are culinary maestros when it comes to thinking outside the (pasta) box to offer dishes like Vin’tij’s grape, walnut and blue cheese tart with wine crust; Caliza’s forbidden rice with charred eggplant, cured olive and ash; and Mitchell’s Fish Market’s seasonal veggies prepared on a cedar plank and drizzled with a balsamic reduction. Shopping is likewise full of flair. Miramar Beach’s Grand Boulevard is just that: an impressive 50 acres of specialty shops, restaurants, galleries, spas, movie theatre and more. Tommy Bahama, Billabong, Wine World and fab’rik are joined by dozens of other shops in a town center setting trimmed with walking paths, fountains, lampposts, lush landscaping and a Grand Park where concerts, performances and other events take place. You’ll find the works of several South Walton Artists of the Year at the Grayton Artist Collective, a colony of charming galleries huddled together on Grayton Beach. Pop into Mary Hong’s and be wowed by her dimensional art glass paintings. Find an original piece of jewelry at the studio of Allison Craft, who combines pearls and hand-cut leather into stunning necklaces, bracelets and earrings. Tour Chandler Williams’ Modus Photography studio to see his and other artists’ works. At the Ruskin Artists Colony in Seaside, shops spill over with boutique clothing, original fine art paintings, garden accents, one-of-a-kind jewelry and more. Easy-breezy South Walton aims to please, The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine


and makes it very easy to fall in love with its beaches, sunsets, coastal landscapes, eateries, shops and other attractions, any time of year. ADVENTURE GUIDE TO DON’T-MISS MOMENTS I In Miramar Beach, spend the evening at Gold Spoon Award winner Vin’tij Wine Boutique, an oenophile’s nirvana that combines wine market, bar and bistro in a gallery-like setting with jewel-toned stain glass windows, wine box boards stained to match covering one wall and original art that can be purchased. Grab a seat at the glass-topped wine cork table and enjoy Chef John Jacob’s menu of locally sourced, uber fresh seafood and inspired nibbles like field pea relish, grilled pineapple salsa and parsnip puree. The restaurant will be featured on the Cooking Channel’s “Emeril’s Florida” at 2:30 p.m. EST on March 1, 9:30 a.m. on March 2 and 10:30 a.m. March 5. I Exercise your right brain with an art class with South Walton artists, including painters, photographers, sculptors and others. For instance, 2015 Painter of the Year, artist Melody Bogle, will set up easels outdoors at the dunes on funky Grayton Beach or some other idyll for a painting workshop. With the sun warming your face, the landscape providing inspiration and Bogle guiding with a gentle touch, you’ll soon see your masterpiece take shape.

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

I Take your camera to Deer Lake State Park and head to the boardwalk. Round the bend and a magnificent vista opens of pure white dunes. This pristine beach area gives visitors a chance to take in a very dynamic dune ecosystem in one of the most breathtaking areas of the Emerald Coast. I Dine at the Grecianesque Caliza Restaurant on Alys Beach and be treated to a culinary tour de force with Chef de Cuisine Kevin Korman, an American Culinary Federation certified executive chef. His menus are inspired by the local fish and farmers markets and his enticing vegetarian dishes could sway even the most committed carnivore. I Be a tourist and get your beach portrait taken. It is so de rigueur that even the locals do it. INFORMATION South Walton has more vacation rentals than you can shake a palm frond at, including the Gulf-front Hidden Dunes Beach & Tennis Resort, HiddenDunesResort.com, in Miramar Beach. It is managed by Newman-Dailey Resort Properties, a TripAdvisor “Award of Excellence” recipient, which has properties all over South Walton, including those located off the coveted 30A coastal road. The Hilton Sandestin Beach Golf Resort & Spa, HiltonSandestinBeach.com, is the only full-service resort hotel in

South Walton. A recent $13 million transformation includes completely refurbished Spa Tower guest rooms, a redesigned indoor pool, a gorgeous and expansive main lobby, the renovation of the Serenity by the Sea Spa and the retooling of Sandcastles Restaurant and the Hadashi Sushi Bar. The outdoor pool is simply breathtaking. The Pearl, ThePearlRB.com, is a new very high-tech and very elegant boutique hotel located in Rosemary Beach. Trimmed with black and white awnings and with a white sand beach mere just footsteps from the front door, The Pearl offers luxurious guestrooms, many of which have private balconies with views of the Gulf of Mexico. Upcoming events in South Walton include the 26th Annual Sandestin Gumbo Festival, Feb. 13-14; Sinfonia Gulf Coast Presents Wine, Women & Shoes, Feb. 13-15; and the third annual 30A Wine Festival, March 6-8, held in Alys Beach. For more information about the 16 beach communities of South Walton, Florida, visit VisitSouthWalton.com.

Author, travel and lifestyle writer, and travel goods expert Kathy Witt feels you should never get to the end of your bucket list; there’s just too much to see and do in the world. She can be reached at KathyWitt24@gmail.com or KathyWitt.com. (c)2015 Kathy Witt Distributed by MCT Information Services

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“ that I had been The softest sounds

missing for years,

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The Gift of Volunteering: I am a hospice volunteer and proud of it. I sincerely believe in the hospice mission of providing quality, compassionate end-oflife care to those who are dealing with a terminal diagnosis. There are many of us dispensing love and compassion to our patients and their families. We care as much for our caregivers as we do for our patients.

Presnted by the Volunteer Team from Hospice of Montgomery

I am a Hospice Volunteer …

emotional and physical. We care and share as often as we are needed. Quietly touching lives and lifting spirits. We attempt to provide what is needed in that moment – the replacement of a light bulb, a container of homemade soup, a run to the store, the mail from the box, or just a comforting hug.

care and each and every one deserves recognition and the highest accolades,” said Clara Jehle, Hospice of Montgomery’s Volunteer Coordinator. Hospice volunteers report having a deep sense of satisfaction in being there for someone during a scary time of life. They feel like they are making a significant contribution and providing a service benefit to their community.

These family caregivers, and Some become volunteers after watching I heard it said once, that there is at least one their parents, spouses, siblings or close volunteers are the heart of in every family we friends die and want to honor them by Hospice of Montgomery; serve, dispenses providing this that hospice love 24-hours a day service. But volunteers for weeks, months, no matter the truly give and and even years to reason that draws share as a gift incapacitated family Volunteer Caroline Barmettler helping to make volunteers to from their Christmas wreaths at a local senior center members. They hospice work, heart. For have no sick days or they all say it me, serving others is a humbling vacations. Sleep is a thing of the past. If helps keep life in experience. I didn’t know that they are not caring for the loved one, then perspective. I could love someone I didn’t they are worrying about which bills to pay know whole heartedly. It is and which tasks can wait. At Hospice of nice to know that families feel Montgomery, we that there is someone there to Many family support Jr. Volunteer Mori Wallace making butterfly sun-catchers can’t say thank caregivers will have you enough for the them and with residents at Elmcroft’s Assisted Living Facility a shortened life support volunteers their loved span because of provide. If you are considering giving of your one. the toll such care time and talent to the community, Hospice The process hones requires. Friends of Montgomery offers many ways in which character, develops and extended family you can give back. empathy, and lessens fled long ago. Their my tendency to be phones are silent As a hospice volunteer you will be given judgmental of others. and no one comes to choices as to how much and what types the door. They have of things you want to do. From direct Death and dying will conversations mainly patient support and caregiver relief, to come to all of us. I am with themselves. administrative support in a local hospice a hospice volunteer Volunteer Gary Jones with hospice family They live in a parallel office, hospice volunteers selflessly give of and by sharing myself Eric and Virginia Reynolds universe where they their time to serve patients and families who with the families I are invisible to the outside world except for are facing end-of-life challenges. Volunteer serve, as often as I can, I ready myself for the immediate family members and hospice are never asked to do something they are my own family’s needs in the future. I am staff who hold their hands through the not comfortable doing. a hospice volunteer, making a difference journey. and doing so is very fulfilling, giving added Want to become a Hospice Volunteer? purpose to my life. The role of a hospice volunteer is to show Hospice of Montgomery will train and up. To provide the support these family support you in this rewarding journey! The National Hospice and Palliative Care caregivers so desperately need. We know Contact Clara Jehle, Volunteer Coordinator Organization reports that there are more how hard it is for these caregivers to watch at or email than 355,000 trained hospice volunteers their loved ones’ health decline, but by contributing more than 16 million hours of cjehle@hospiceofmontgomery.org. giving of ourselves we ease the burden for a service to hospice organizations across the few precious moments. Volunteer Open House country. This task requires tremendous patience and love and a large dose of strength – both The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

“Volunteers play an integral role in hospice

Thursday, March 5th, 2 sessions 10:30 - 11:30 am and 1:30 - 2:30 pm

Please call 271-4924 to reserve your seat. R ive r Re gio n Bo o m . co m

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Eating Smart with Tracy Bhalla

Sugar – public enemy number 1?

We should all probably cut down on our sugar intake. The average American consumes an alarming 150lbs of sugar in one year! Poor diet is clearly to blame, however unclear labelling does not help. It is currently impossible to determine how much sugar in a product is naturally occurring and how much is simply added sugar or sweetener. The sugar figure you see on a nutrition label in the US simply combines both of these sugars together. There is a push at the moment in congress to separate them, but the sugar and sweetener companies are fighting it. Go to justlableit.com to sign a petition for this and other labelling issues (such as GM food). If you eat a variety of fruits and vegetables you really should not need to add any extra sugar as all fruits and vegetable have a natural sugar content - this sugar is called natural sugar, and it is not very bad for you. Added sugars provide only empty calories with no nutritional value. This is why doctors warn against too much added sugar.

According to dieticians, women should not have more than 24 grams of sugar a day, or about 6 teaspoons. For men it’s about 36 grams, or 9 teaspoons. Check the labels! According to those figures women should only consume around 20lbs of sugar in a year and men around 27lbs. Compare that to the 150lb average! Yikes!! Both natural sugars and added sugars form simple carbohydrates. However, foods with natural sugar also contain complex carbohydrates, vitamins, and minerals. These extra components of healthy foods are what make consuming the sugar worth it. The balance of complex carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, and sugar makes “healthy foods” good for you. Foods with complex carbohydrates and natural sugar retain nutrients, such as dietary fiber, that are stripped from simple carbohydrates. Foods with

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complex carbohydrates also provide vitamins and minerals. Complex carbohydrates are found in whole wheat bread, brown rice, carrots, corn, and potatoes. These carbohydrates are essential to our body and are broken down into glucose slower than simple carbohydrates, which means they provide longer lasting energy.

There are a number of health reasons why too much sugar is bad for you (beside rotting your teeth!): 1. Sugar can suppress your immune system. 2. Sugar reduces the body’s ability to defend against bacterial infection. 3. Sugar causes a decline in tissue elasticity and function – the more sugar you eat, the more elasticity and function you lose. 4. Sugar causes copper deficiency. 5. Sugar interferes with the body’s absorption of calcium and magnesium. 6. Sugar may make eyes more vulnerable to age-related macular degeneration. 7. Sugar can lead to obesity. 8. Sugar increases the risk of Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis. 9. Sugar can cause arthritis. 10. Sugar can cause cardiovascular disease 11. Sugar causes food allergies. 12. Sugar can contribute to diabetes.

And that is just the start – you can read a further 131 reasons why sugar is bad for you in “Suicide by Sugar´ by Nancy Appleton PhD & G.N. Jacobs. So, we know we should be cutting back – significantly, but food labelling is so confusing – how do I do it? Again it comes back to preparing your food from scratch and not eating processed foods, which are a particular culprit of hidden added sugars. Even a McDonalds Cheese burger contains a whopping

10g of added sugar! That’s nearly half a woman’s daily recommended intake. Buy fresh fruit and vegetables, not tinned. Do not buy meats which are pre-seasoned. Do not buy pre-prepared microwave meals! And DO continue to read the labels – the sugar content won’t be separated into natural and added, but you should be keeping your daily content at 24g for women, 36g for men, so make sure the sugars on the label are as low as possible. You will see some frighteningly high figures – hence the 150lbs a year consumption of sugar figure. Keep away from them. Compare brands, you’ll see huge differences. Of course, you may still need to sweeten things up a little so go for honey or agave syrup instead of sugar in your hot drinks, on your oatmeal and in your cooking and baked goods. When you’re making muffins, for example, try substituting apple puree. Make your own ice-pops by simply freezing pureed fruit – or even just use this method to store pureed fruit for use in baking later on or in smoothies (my trick!) And stop simply adding sugar to things just because it’s what you’ve always done…..some things just don’t need it. My neighbor was alarmed at seeing me whipping cream for a dessert and not adding either sugar or vanilla to it, but when she tasted it she said “well, I’ve learned something today – cream simply doesn’t need extra sugar.” YAY!! It has a natural sweetness of its own – why adulterate that? Tracy Bhalla, Owner/ Manager of Cool Beans Restaurant, 115 Montgomery Street, P: 334.416.8447, coolbeans.mgm@gmail.com facebook.com/coolbeans.mgm Trained as an architect! Worked as a teacher of product design and graphic design for 9 years in England and Bermuda. Always had a love of healthy, good-for-you food. Always cooking for friends and family. Married a cardiologist in 2007. We have a shared passion about eating healthily (and wine) and both love to cook, so when Cool Beans became available we jumped at it.

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine


DATING Coach

I think I want my ex back

Dear Lisa, I met the greatest guy online. He contacted me. I noticed online that he didn’t post a picture but he did send pictures in his initial email to me. We’ve been talking nearly a month and we just have so much in common. It feels like we’d never run out of things to talk about. He travels almost every night during the week so he often calls me from his hotel and we talk until the wee hours of the night sharing the stories of our lives that day. I look forward to those calls and miss them when they don’t happen. He rarely calls on the weekends and sometimes we’ll be talking and his phone suddenly disconnects and when I call him back, it goes right to voice mail. I feel myself really falling for him and I really want to meet him but he skirts the issue when I bring it up. What can I do to get him to this stage? _Diane Diane, I hate to break it to you but it sounds like you are dating a married man. The tell tale signs are...No picture online but willing to send it in an email. He doesn’t want his wife’s single friends telling her he’s online cheating on her. He calls from hotels because it’s safe ... he won’t get caught. The question to ask yourself is...does he call you when he’s not travelling and if not ...why not? Probably because he’s married. He rarely calls on weekends. He’s with his significant other who probably keeps him busy. Calls drop off suddenly. Chances are his wife is walking in the room. Have you ever asked this man if he’s divorced or widowed? Does he evade your question ...changing the subject to special qualities he’s noticed about you? If he can’t give you a definite “I am

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

single” response, then consider letting him go. The chances of him leaving his wife for you are slim to none. You will be the one sitting at home always waiting for him to call. And ultimately, this will break your heart. Consider letting him go then get back online and start dating real men you can meet in the flesh after a couple of emails and calls. Meeting face to face is the only way you’ll know if you are a potential fit for each other. Dear Lisa, About two months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. I just felt it wasn’t a place I wanted to be 10 years from now. But I really miss him and my heart feels so touched when he writes or texts me. He says the most beautiful things to me that just make my heart long for him. I am thinking of going back with him but would love some insight into whether or not this is smart to do. What do you think? _Alison Alison, The time of healing after a breakup can feel so lonely. Your life has changed from being part of a couple to being single again and it’s a huge adjustment. However, there is a reason you broke up with him. In fact, you mentioned part of it in your letter, writing, “I just felt it wasn’t a place I wanted to be 10 years from now.”

tendency to only remember the good. Do yourself a favor. Sit down and write a list of all the ways your ex annoyed you. Then when the texts and emails from him show up ...take this list out so you can get perspective on the reality of the situation, versus the fantasy running in your mind. Find things to do that make you happy, whether it’s going out with friends, taking a class or babysitting for a grandchild. I don’t believe in quickly replacing the ex for someone new. Take the time to heal. You don’t want to bring those strong emotions into the next relationship. Plus, you usually attract the same type of person when you haven’t done the healing work. Over time, when emotions cool down you can try out a friendship situation with your ex; something that’s very common with men and women our age. In the meantime, consider asking him not to contact you. Tell him you are in the process of healing and just need some time alone. I know this is a difficult time but unless you think whatever broke you up has changed ...you are going to probably find the same issues still there. And chances are ... they’ll show up again as soon as the honeymoon of trying again ends. Lisa Copeland, “The Dating Coach Who Makes Dating Fun and Easier after 50!” Find out more at

There is a certain safety about an ex. And after a break up, as time passes and you are alone, you forget what was so irritating about him. You have a

Findaqualityman.com (c)2014, Lisa Copeland, findaqualityman.com Distributed by MCT Information Services

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February 2015

{12 Things} for active boomers and beyond

HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA

MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA

Certain turning points in humankind’s history have been defined by the creation or discovery of something profound. From stone tools to the birth of the Internet, driven by necessity and accident we have shaped our own destiny through invention. These inventions act as historical punctuation points in the story of 101 Inventions That Changed The World, that explores not only the inventions themselves, but also suggests the reasoning behind their development and their subsequent effect on humankind. For more info visit rocketcenter.com

“Hoss, If you can’t do it with feeling, don’t.” This awardwinning musical is a heartwarming and funny footstomp through the music and memories of “country music’s greatest female singer” as told by the Texas housewife she befriended two years before her untimely death. For more information call 334.271.5353 or visit asf.net

101 Inventions That Changed the World Exhibit U.S. Space & Rocket Center Through March 15th

MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA Mardi Gras Parade and Festival Village Green Park in Millbrook Saturday, February 7th, 9 am

The Millbrook Revelers will be hosting the annual Mardi Gras Parade and Festival Feb. 7th at the Village Green Park in Millbrook. There will be over 60 vendors from all over the South with lots of different food and fun for everyone. The festivities begin at 9 am with the parade starting at Noon sharp. This is a family fun event so bring all of the grandchildren and catch the trinkets! Also, anyone can enter to be in the parade. To learn more visit millbrookrevelers.org

MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA The Ready.Set.Geaux! 5K and 10k Saturday, February 7th, 8-11 am

Ready. Set. Geaux! Don’t miss the new Mardi Gras run from the Montgomery Junior League on February 7, 2015. This special event will feature a 10K course including a Wheelchair/Adaptive Division, as well as a 5K option. The Ready.Set. Geaux! 5K and 10K route is a fast and flat out and back course, starting from the Edward Thompson Ballfields on Ray Thorington Road, running up and down Park Crossing Road. Rain or Shine. The Big Green Bus will be there for the kids! Registration is $30-40. For more info visit jlmontgomery.org

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Always...Patsy Cline Alabama Shakespeare Festival - ASF Through February 8, various times

MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA

A Night of Discovery, A Tour of West Coast Wine Regions Montgomery Museum of Fine Art Thursday, February 12, from 6 until 8:30 P.M Come join us for A Night of Discovery, A Tour of West Coast Wine Regions. During this elegant affair, you will get to experience six signature red and white wines, paired with tapas style food prepared by our own caterer Jennie Weller. Reservations are required and space is limited. Tickets are $50 per person for MMFA members and $60 for non-members. Click here to buy tickets or call 334.240.4350 or email brosen@ mmfa.org to make your reservations. You will NOT be able to purchase tickets the night of the event. For more information visit mmfa.org

MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA Cirque D’Or Downtown Montgomery-MPAC Friday, February 13th, at 7:30 pm

With over 30 acrobats from around the world, comes a new generation of Cirque style shows. The electrifying and mesmerizing Cirque D’Or is one of the most spellbinding shows you will ever see. It has fast become one of the hottest tickets in show biz history with sold out shows and standing ovations worldwide. Featuring a cast of world champion acrobats, contortionists, and aerial artists from around the world, this award winning spectacle will leave you breathless. This action packed presentation delivers incredible talent beyond your wildest imagination. Cirque D’Or is perfect for the entire family. This amazing show brings you beautiful costumes, dynamic sound and lighting, and the world’s greatest talent assembled on one stage. For more information visit mpaconline.org

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine


MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA

Cultural Crossroads XIV: The Rivers in Becoming Alabama The Alabama Department of Archives and History Saturday, February 14,

MILLBROOK, ALABAMA

This year’s program will focus primarily on the central and southwestern rivers that played major roles in the exploration, settlement and early development of those regions of Alabama. We will discuss everything from the rivers’ geological origins, to how Native Americans used rivers in their communication, the dangers and pleasures of living between two rivers, and even antebellum excursions on the river. Registration deadline is Friday, February 6th. Lunch is included, vegetarian option available. Register online at oldalabamatown.com

Clue: The Musical Millbrook Theatre Feb. 19 -21, & 26-28 at 7:30 pm, Feb. 22 & Mar. 1 at 2pm The Millbrook Community Players invite you to an evening full of music, mayhem, and MURDER!!! Who killed Mr. Boddy? Was it Col. Mustard in the Lounge with the Revolver or Mrs. White in the Kitchen with the Knife? Come experience the fun familyfriendly musical based on the classic CLUE board game by Parker Brothers. The ending of the play depends upon which murderer, weapon, and room cards are drawn by three volunteers at the beginning of the show. The audience plays along trying to solve the mystery which could be one of 216 possible endings! Tickets are $11.00 in advance and $12.00 at the door and can be purchased online at millbrooktheatre.com or by calling 334.782.7317.

MONTGOMERY

BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA

Performances on Saturday, February 14, at 7:30 pm and Sunday, February 15, 2015 at 2pm. The Love Songs, starring Elvis Presley tribute artist Scot Bruce and Buddy Holly tribute artist John Mueller, will return to the Alabama Shakespeare Festival on Saturday, February 14 at 7:30 p.m. and Sunday, February 15 at 2 p.m. The annual fundraiser for Alabama’s State Theatre has traditionally sold out. Dinner or brunch reservations in The Black Swan are available now. Dinner and brunch will be served prior to performances on February 14 and 15. For more information call 334.271.5353 or visit asf.net

The Book of Mormon is coming to Birmingham, February 1722nd, as part of the Broadway in Birmingham Series. The performance will be held at BJCC Concert Hall. The New York Times calls it “the best musical of this century.” The Washington Post says, “It is the kind of evening that restores your faith in musicals.” And Entertainment Weekly says, “Grade A: the funniest musical of all time.” Jon Stewart of The Daily Show calls it “a crowning achievement. So good it makes me angry.” It’s THE BOOK OF MORMON, the nine-time Tony Award® winning Best Musical from the creators of South Park. Contains explicit language. For more information, visit BookofMormonTheMusical.com or broadwayinbirmingham.com

Love Songs of Elvis & Buddy Alabama Shakespeare Festival February 14-15, 7:30 pm and 2 pm

MOBILE, ALABAMA

Mardi Gras Day in Mobile Downtown Mobile February 17th, various times and venues Mobile is not only recognized as the location of the first-known American Mardi Gras celebration in 1703 (yes, even before New Orleans), but also as home to “America’s Family Mardi Gras” delighting both young and old from around town and across the nation. This magnificent celebration lasts over two and a half weeks and concludes on Fat Tuesday, the day before Lent. For weeks, the streets of downtown Mobile are filled with the sights and sounds of live marching bands, brilliantly colored floats and, of course, teeming crowds of parade-goers. The floats are glowing spectacles manned by masked riders festooned in satin and sequins, and armed with crowd-pleasing “throws” such as beads, MoonPies, doubloons and candy. Mardi Gras must be experienced to be fully understood, and Mobile is the perfect place. For more info visit mobilebay.org

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Pl eas e s u b mi t a ny events/photos to j i m @ r iver reg i onboom .com The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

The Book of Morman Birmingham’s BJCC Concert Hall February 17-22nd, 7:30pm

MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA

Cinderella Davis Theatre for the Performing Arts Downtown Montgomery Friday-Sunday, February 27-March1, Back by popular demand, the Alabama Dance Theatre will present the full-length timeless fairytale classic “Cinderella” on Friday, February 27, Saturday, February 28, and Sunday, March 1 at the Davis Theatre for the Performing Arts. Experience the magic of the royal ball, a beautiful princess, a pumpkin carriage, an enchanted Fairy Godmother, and one lost slipper. This beloved tale of “rags to riches” is perfect for the entire family. Choreographed by ADT’s own award winning Choreographer, Sara Sanford, “Cinderella” is certain to delight all ages with its beauty, romance, and comedy. See the magic of true love come to life on stage with Prokofiev’s superb score. This masterpiece production will feature new lavish sets and stunning costumes. For more info visit alabamadancetheatre.com

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By Greg Budell

The Mayor of BOOMTOWN

GOODBYE, MR. BANKS

water fountains. Sadly, that’s the way it was and all the hand wringing in the world today ain’t going to change it.

It’s hard to “love” an athlete today.

We “love” them when they win. We celebrate the stats of extraordinary careers, but most names slide under the rock of obscurity when they retire, or their game retires them. Too many become famous (infamous) for off-the-field actions. Rarer yet, is the player whose name is synonymous with 1 team and 1 city because he played every game of a long career for the same franchise. The recently retired Derek Jeter is one such example. He’ll easily make the Hall of Fame, but was he “lovable”? No. Unless you’re a Yankee fan, Jeter was easy to hate because he always seemed to do just the right thing at the right time to beat your team because that’s what great Yankees do. I’m just creating context here, because IMHO, the last truly lovable athlete died on us late last month. His name was Ernie Banks and I- everyone in Chicago, loved Ernie Banks and he loved us back. I don’t get weepy over celebrity deaths. For most, it’s all we have in common with the celebrated. Money and fame can’t buy an escape from the Final Curtain. But I assure you; I had real tears rolling down my face when my favorite player ever passed just shy of his 84th birthday. Ernie, you see, was a Hall of Fame player and person. Mr. Banks was also an important man, too. The last death occupying the entire front page of the Chicago Sun-Times (see photo) that I can remember was the first Mayor Daley back in 1976.

Mr. Banks broke into baseball in the segregated Negro Leagues. He persevered discrimination until his performance got him to the Cubs. Ernie took full advantage, too. Within 5 years, Mr. Cub was twice named the National League’s Most Valuable Player (playing for LOSING teams!).

Ernie was more popular than Daley, too. I don’t remember the exact moment I fell in love with baseball, but I do remember my parents treating me to a Cubs game for my 5th birthday. All I wanted to see was #14 step to the plate and hit one out of the park. He didn’t but the Cubs won the game 12-2, so it was a happy birthday. I grew up on Chicago’s south side which is White Sox country. Being a Cubs fan made me a bit of a freak- but much to the horror of my little friends, my favorite player- my idol was- A BLACK MAN! That was not fashionable in the early 60s and it started more than a few fights. You think the South had the exclusive rights to racist attitudes in those days? Chicago was chopped in half- black and white, but Ernie Banks bridged the races. Really, the only difference between Illinois and Alabama in those days was the separate

He hit prodigious home runs, and was a great shortstop, but Chicago loved Banks for the man he was. Ernie was always smiling, openly grateful to be paid good money to play a kid’s game, living the dream the rest of us envied. He played with true joy, and considering how lousy the Cubs were most of his career, an optimism that merits scientific study. The afternoon sunshine at “the friendly confines of Wrigley Field” (Ernie’s term!) was the only Performance Enhancing Drug he needed to reach the 500 home run mark- a real accomplishment in the days before chemically altered players. Following that 5th birthday party, I went to dozens of Cubs games over many seasons hoping to see Ernie connect, but my bad luck continued. Finally, on August 24, 1971, I took the train to Wrigley to catch the Cubs play Cincinnati. Ernie had really slowed by his final season and had hit only 2 homers by that late date. In the bottom of the 4th inning, Ernie stepped to the plate, sweeping his bat back and forth over it, fingers wiggling on the slender handle (something I emulated during my little league days).

Greg Budell's column is proudly sponsored by McDonald, Barranco & Hagen Wealth Management

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He did what nobody was expecting. Crack! I heard that unmistakable and beautiful sound, and watched - like a 5 year old at his birthday party - as the ball soared sky high before landing in the left field bleachers. Wrigley went nuts right along with me. Good thing I chose that game. It was Ernie’s final career home run, number 512. When #14 said “I’d play for free” you believed him. When he died, a little piece of me died with him. He’s gone, but his approach to life is the bigger story. While we all have times when this life seems like something to be endured while seeking our path to Heaven, the lovable Mr. Banks lived every day as if he were already there, and things could only get better on the other side. RIP Mr. Cub. I am sad and feeling a little older. Those damn White Sox may have won more games but Cub fans had you- and that was better Greg Budell lives in Montgomery with his wife, children and dogs. He’s a 25 year veteran of radio who hosts the Greg & Susan morning show 6-9 am and Happy Hour 3-6 pm on NEWSTALK 93.1, Greg can be reached at gregbudell@aol.com

Women of Hope Breast Cancer Support Group Tuesday, February 10th, 5:30 p.m. Frazer UMC, Room 8114 6000 Atlanta Highway

Enjoy fun and fellowship with your breast cancer “sisters” and friends!

The program will be:

Breast Cancer Between Generations Presented by Mother-Daughter BC Survivors Charlene Kendrick and Monica Kneiley Ward

Everyone is Welcome!

For information please call 334-220-4599 or email womenofhope@charter.net.

Our goal is to make sure that all women AND men are educated about breast cancer and the effects it has on family and friends. Hope is the assurance that one day we will be able to live cancer free! Your support is greatly appreciated and helps so many deserving breast cancer patients and survivors including their families. Women of Hope Breast Cancer Support Group meets the 2nd Tuesday of each month (Jan-Nov). Meetings are held at 5:30 p.m.

The Business Mini Directory

A Business Mini is a little fatter than your old business card and for a limited time we are offering a Business Mini to fit your budget. Fifty dollars will get your business message in front of thousands of people over 50 who have the money to buy stuff. Every business needs one more customer, where will yours come from? Call today and get your $50 Business Mini, 324.3472 or jim@riverregionboom.com

The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine

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February 2015

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BOOM! February 2015  
BOOM! February 2015  

The River Region's 50+ Lifestage Magazine