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1 1 THE LITTLE GUY WHO WON ’T GO AWAY How Eddie Gaedel’s fifteen minutes of fame turned into 64 years — and counting BY BILL CHRISTINE

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Standout dispatches from our news blog, updated all day, every day

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In Ferguson Protest, a Highway Shutdown — and a Medical Crisis here was a woman collapsing in my arms. Her legs buckled, as if unplugged, and suddenly my hand under her back was the only thing keeping her upright. I guided her to the ground as gently as I could. That’s when the seizure hit. I could feel her back arching. Her head jerked, scraping her scalp across the pavement. Her breathing came out in gasps and gurgles. The sound of this stranger’s distress was drowned out by a mass arrest taking place several feet away. Looking up for a moment, I could already see dozens of protesters in various stages of detainment. The area swarmed with police uniforms. It was “Moral Monday,” a day of planned civil disobedience to mark the one-year anniversary of Michael Brown’s death, and I was there, in a church parking lot in Earth City, trying to take photos and report on the arrests. Earlier, a group of 57 protesters — including prominent clergy members and several leaders of the Black Lives Matter movement — stationed themselves in front of the St. Louis federal building and demanded the Department of Justice do more to fix the racial biases poisoning the justice system. They were all arrested. I spent the rest of the day following a group of activists, led by Alexis Templeton and Brittany Ferrell, who sought to pull off a much bolder act of protest: They aimed to block all eight lanes of I-70 during rush-hour traffic. During a planning meeting, organizers said their strategy would place white allies at the frontlines of the highway shutdown. There they would likely be arrested first, thus providing time for others to escape. The message was both bitter and powerful: For once, white bodies would protect black ones. The woman in my arms, Melissa Ritchey, was one of those white allies. I cradled her head as tremors shook her body. I didn’t know what to do. All the street medics had been arrested.

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had arrived at the staging area around 4:30 p.m. Although I’ve reported on two previous highway shutdowns (only one that succeeded), this one already felt different. Bolder. The plan called for coordinated maneuvers between two teams of protesters. First 8

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were the drivers. They would each occupy a lane and slow to a stop, bringing traffic in both directions to a standstill. The second team would meet at the parking lot of Faith Church in Earth City, which borders a grassy hill abbutting the highway. Once the drivers were in position, the protesters would quickly run up the hill and link arms across the lanes. The plan, it turns out, worked quite well. When I got to the top of the hill, fifteen or so protesters had already formed a human chain across the eastbound lane, and dozens more were arriving. They set down yellow-painted cardboard boxes stenciled with “Ferguson Is Everywhere,” creating a rough picket line stretching across the highway. Protest chants competed with car horns. But not all drivers were content with just venting their anger. I watched a middle-aged woman in an SUV nudge forward into the line of protesters, who then surrounded the vehicle and began shouting through her driver’s side window. The SUV accelerated, plowing through the line and crushing a “Ferguson Is Everywhere” box beneath its tires. The police weren’t far behind, either. Roughly twenty minutes after the protesters took the roadway, a contingent of officers from St. Louis County Police Department and Missouri Highway Patrol troopers arrived to push them back. More police cruisers seemed to arrive every second. Shouting orders to disperse, officers quickly corralled the still-

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More than 60 protesters were arrested Monday after blocking rush-hour traffic on I-70.

chanting crowd to the shoulder. At first, only a few protesters were arrested. I hung around taking photos of the action, and then headed down the hill. Police cruisers had already arrived in the parking lot, cutting off the protesters’ escape route. But it wasn’t until most of the protesters had cleared the highway and were walking back to their cars that the mass arrests began. I watched officers trip a legal observer to the ground. By the end of the afternoon, 63 people had been arrested. A few protesters ran. Among them was Melissa Ritchey, a 36-year-old married mother from west county and a frequent protester. When I arrived at the edge of the parking lot, she was there too, watching the arrests and sobbing. Then she began shaking, and I put down my camera and placed a hand on her back. Then she fell into my arms.

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on’t try to restrain her,” Keith Rose told me from somewhere behind my left shoulder. An activist with the St. Louis Legal Collective, Rose was filming the arrests in the parking lot as I tended to Ritchey. Two officers approached and asked about her condition. Rose told them the woman was having a seizure and that she had a serious brain condition that required surgery. She needed specialized help. As the officers called for an ambulance, Rose urged them to release

one of the street medics on the scene to treat Ritchey. They refused. A burly St. Louis County officer walked over to Rose. “Mr. Rose, you didn’t get on the highway this time?” Rose gave no answer. The officer asked again, then grinned. “I’ll check his Twitter real fast and see if he posted anything from on the highway.” The officer returned a few moments later. “You’re under arrest,” he told Rose. “You were on the highway with everybody else. You already put it on your Twitter!” Rose was restrained with zip-ties and led to the bustling parking lot, where dozens of protesters now awaited transport to to the Clayton Justice Center. I was left with Ritchey, who was just coming to some sort of consciousness. But her problems were far from over. As she began getting her bearings, a trooper knelt down near her with more zip ties in his hand. He told her she was going to be arrested, too. Ritchey began to wail. “They’re going to arrest me?” she asked me, her voice thick and groggy. “I think so,” I said. “I’m sorry.” As EMTs arrived, Ritchey handed me her phone and told me to to call her lawyer. She pointed to a text message from him, and I called the number, giving the lawyer the name


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of the hospital she was to be taken to. Looking through her contact list, I found her husband and called him too. By now, however, the officers were asking Ritchey for her name and information. She balked. “Please,” she cried, “explain to me why I’m under arrest. Why are you doing this to me?” A St. Louis County lieutenant stepped into the fray. “Ma’am, you will give us all the information that we need,” he said. “If you don’t, I’ll follow you from the hospital, and when you’re released, and I’ll lock you up. If you cooperate with our officers than we wouldn’t have to do that.” This only made Ritchey more distraught. “Why,” she wailed again, “am I being arrested? “We ain’t gonna explain it to you,” snapped the lieutenant. “You’re a grown woman with intelligence. You know why you’re under arrest.” They went back and forth for two more rounds. “She’s under arrest,” the lieutenant finally declared. “Follow her. She goes to jail when she’s released. Done. Very simple.” Ritchey was taken to the ambulance, but she emerged fifteen minutes later. She walked over and asked a nearby a legal observer for a cigarette. “They’re not going to arrest me,” she said. “They don’t want to fuck with my head thing.” Ritchey then asked me what had happened after she’d passed out. She said she had no memory of me catching her, Rose’s arrest or the officers’ demands for her information. She took a hard drag on the cigarette. “Fuck them motherfuckers,” she said to no one in particular, her voice shaking. “They think I’m going home? Motherfucker. Fuck you. I’m going to Ferguson. Fuck you.”

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itchey did not go to Ferguson that night. “All of my family tells me not to do it, the protesting,” she told me over the phone early the next morning. “That it’s not safe, that I’m going to end up really hurting myself.” Her family kind of has a point. After living for years with minor, daily seizures, Ritchey said she had recently been diagnosed with in-

Melissa Ritchey, 36, says her epilepsy won’t stop her from protesting injustice and racial inequality in St. Louis.

tractable epilepsy. She suffered her first grand mal seizure in November during a protest in downtown St. Louis. She’s due for brain surgery next month, to remove part of her brain’s temporal lobe. “I’ve had it since it since childhood, but it’s progressively gotten worse and worse,” she said. “In Ferguson, I had seizures when they had the weird lights and sound cannons. But those seizures would be, like, I would just stop and stare. Those are my normal seizures that I have eight to ten times a day. “I’m not allowed to drive,” she adds. “I have people that come and help me because I can’t use a stove or knives, and I’m not supposed to go outside by myself. My existence with this type of epilepsy, it’s almost like you’re a toddler. There are people in the movement that volunteer to help me, and so when they go out, I go out with them.” But why, I asked, would you put your health at risk by attending protests that you know could set off another seizure? Wouldn’t it be safer to take a behind-the-scenes role? “It’s just something that calls me out to do this,” she said. “I just have to do it. I mean, every day you go on your Twitter feed and it’s another black or brown life that is being killed by the police. And we have to stand up against that.” I asked her about the highway shutdown, and she said she’d been a passenger in one of the cars intended to block an eastbound lane. But the car ended up getting stuck in traffic far behind the protest line, and so she ended up walking to join the main group. She insists that she never set foot on the highway or blocked traffic herself. “As a white ally, we have to get out there,” she added, rebuffing another of my worried questions about her health. “We can’t just say ‘Black Lives Matter’ and then not get out there and support it. You need to get your feet on the ground. Get your hands dirty. I just wish that there were more of us. More white people out there yesterday. There could have been more white people out there.” —DANNY WICENTOWSKI riverfronttimes.com

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The Little Guy Who Won’t Go Away How Eddie Gaedel’s fifteen minutes of fame turned into 64 years - and counting

WRITTEN BY BILL CHRISTINE ILLUSTRATIONS BY COREY MONTERO

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y the time you reach the age of thirteen, you ought to be responsible for what you do. Be that as it may, I went to about 40 home games of the hapless St. Louis Browns in 1951. I never mentioned it to the priest during confession, but maybe I should have. You could go to your local police station, sign up to become a member of the Browns Knot Hole Club, and get a card for the season that got you in free for all 77 of the games. Scorecards were a dime, and so were peanuts and sodas (except root beer that was fifteen cents). Ice cream and hot dogs were fifteen cents apiece. The hoity-toity Cardinals shared Sportsman’s Park with the Browns (actually, the Browns owned the joint), but members of their knothole club could only get into seven games free. So the kids I knew either rooted for the Browns and cried themselves to sleep, or followed the more fashionable Cardinals and budgeted allowances so they could afford a few more games. For me, blind loyalty paid off on August 19, 1951. The Browns played a doubleheader against the Detroit Tigers, and in the first inning of the second game, Bill Veeck, the Browns’ ingenious owner, sent Eddie Gaedel, a three-footseven, 65-pound midget, to the plate with an eighteen-inch bat in his hand. Top to bottom, Gaedel’s strike zone was as short as a Manx cat’s tail, and he walked on four pitches. At once, Gaedel became famous and infamous without swinging, and I had witnessed one of the most bizarre sports happenings of all time. Gaedel (pronounced guh-DELL) never stepped into a major-league batter’s box again. Reportedly the victim of a mugging, he died in 1961 at age 36. He’s buried in a cemetery in Evergreen Park, Illinois, not far from Brian Piccolo, the cancer-stricken Chicago Bears star whose tragic story inspired the film Brian’s Song. All but one of the principals in that surreal Gaedel tableau — Veeck; Detroit pitcher Bobby “Sugar” Cain; Cain’s catcher, Bob Swift; Jim Delsing, who pinch-ran for Gaedel after he blithely jogged to first base; Ed Hurley, the flabbergasted umpire — are also with the dust. The only chief participant still breathing is Frank Saucier, the scheduled batter when Gaedel was sent to the plate. continued on page 12

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Eddie Gaedel Yet there remains a fascination, even a borderline obsession, with what Bill Veeck wrought. Sixty-four years after Gaedel’s lone Major League Baseball at-bat, and 54 years after his death, Gaedel-a-mania has reached a zenith. The little guy is seemingly everywhere, his fifteen minutes of fame stretched to encompass decades. Consider: The Eddie Gaedel Society in Spokane, Washington, will hold its fifth annual meeting-cum-celebration on August 19. There are also chapters in Elburn, Illinois; Los Angeles and Dublin, Ireland. Also on August 19, the Baseball Reliquary, an educational organization devoted to the history of the sport, is planning a Gaedel celebration in South Pasadena, California. A bar in Elburn, near Chicago, is called the Eddie Gaedel Pub and Grill. Closer to home, a mural of Gaedel decorates the Tiny Bar, a newly opened establishment on Locust Street downtown. Memorabilia is everywhere, if you know where to look. Gaedel’s toothpick of a bat sold at auction for more than $44,000. His original uniform, which was loaned to him by Bill DeWitt Jr. when DeWitt was a nine-year-old Browns’ batboy (he’s now the Cardinals’ principal owner) resides in Ballpark Village. When a library in Pasadena, California, presented a Gaedel exhibit last month, one of the items was Gaedel’s jockstrap. Meanwhile, the St. Louis Browns Fan Club, which has 340 members, sells a Gaedel montage for $50. And for $155.99, an online company will sell you a replica of the Gaedel uniform jersey (in another stroke of genius, Veeck put the fraction 1/8 on the midget’s back). Bill McCurdy, a Browns diehard in Houston, has written the words for “The Ballad of Eddie Gaedel,” sung to the tune of “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” In 2009, Bob Costas hosted a TV special about Gaedel for the Major League Baseball Network, and the Gaedel game is included in Jon Leonoudakis’ 2012 documentary, Not Exactly Cooperstown. Finally, a member of a national club that still plays the old Cadaco Baseball All-Star spinner game created a Gaedel disc that has only one number instead of the usual fourteen: the number nine, for a base on balls. Fittingly, any time you hit the spinner using the Gaedel disc, you get an automatic walk.

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he attendance on August 19, 1951, was 18,369, a monster crowd for the sad-sack Browns, who lost 102 games that year. The day before, they drew fewer than 2,000 for a game against the Tigers, and their average for the season was about 3,500 -- far below Veeck’s break-even point. (The Cardinals, in the same ballpark, drew more than three times as many.) The Gaedel appearance was sub rosa. By Veeck’s count, only five others knew about the stunt. Had word leaked out, the American League surely would have cold-watered the caper posthaste. As it was, Will Harridge, the stuffed-shirt president of the league, proclaimed that Gaedel in particular, and midgets in general, were banned from batting. Veeck wondered what height would make a player a nonmidget. “Does that mean that Phil Rizzuto can’t play anymore?” Veeck asked. Rizzuto, the star shortstop for the New York Yankees, was five-foot-six. Veeck had hyped attendance on August 19 by promoting the doubleheader as the 50th anniversary of both the

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Eddie Gaedel — all three feet, seven inches of him. American League and Falstaff Brewery, which was the Browns’ radio sponsor. The anniversary of the league was legit, but Veeck had fudged a little about Falstaff. Well in advance — but not knowing one scintilla about Gaedel — Falstaff distributors aggressively pushed tickets all over Missouri and Illinois. August 19 was a Sunday. Late Friday, Veeck had wired a copy of Gaedel’s contract — $15,200 for the season, but broken down to only $100 per game — to Harridge’s office, which was closed on weekends. As my friend Marvin and I settled into our seats for the first game, we noticed, in small type, “1/8 — Gaedel” leading off the numerical listing of Browns’ players in the scorecard. “What’s this?” Marvin asked. “Must be a printing mistake,” I said. “They left his position off, too. Never heard of that guy. They must have just called him up from the minors.” After the Browns lost the first game, during the 30-minute intermission we saw Gaedel for the first time. Brandishing his little bat, he popped out of the top of a seven-foot-high papier mache anniversary cake that filled the infield. “Ladies and gentlemen,” said Bernie Ebert, the publicaddress announcer, “as a special birthday present to manager Zack Taylor, the management is presenting him with a brand-new Brownie.” Never mind that Taylor’s birthday was actually three weeks before. Gaedel, 26, had been flown in from Chicago, where he worked as an entertainer. Veeck found him through a Cleveland talent agency. After popping out of the cake,

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he hammed it up, and about an hour later he became a big-leaguer. In the bottom of the first inning, Gaedel pinch-hit for Saucier, the Browns’ rookie right fielder. Red Rolfe, the Tigers’ manager, bolted from the dugout to ask Hurley what was going on. Hurley turned in the direction of the Browns’ dugout. Zack Taylor met him with a copy of the Gaedel contract in hand. Hurley had no choice but to let Gaedel bat. The little guy crouched, reducing his strike zone to just a couple of inches. “Stand up!” somebody shouted from the Tigers’ dugout. Swift went out to Cain and said with a straight face, “Keep it low.” Back behind the plate, Swift went to his knees, trying to give Cain a low target. Laughing, Cain almost fell off the mound as he made four pitches, all well high of the zone. Gaedel went to first base. When Jim Delsing, a pinch-runner, arrived, Gaedel playfully patted him on the rear, and trotted to the dugout, waving his cap as the crowd cheered. Later that inning, Delsing was left on base. The Browns ultimately lost the game, 6-2. What else was new? But Saucier was furious, as batboy Fred Buchholz would relate years later in an interview with Bob Costas. Saucier was from Washington, Missouri, and his family and friends were in the stands. He threw his bat, sore that he had been replaced by a midget. His pique subsiding, Saucier sat down beside Taylor, the manager, and Gaedel. “What were you thinking out there?” Saucier said. “Man, I felt like Babe Root,” Gaedel said.


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r. Charles Brondos, a retired neurologist who grew up in West Frankfort, Illinois, attended the game with his parents and brother even though he had undergone surgery for polio in an East St. Louis hospital only a month before. Brondos’ father had written the Browns’ owner, and as Veeck’s guests, Brondos and his family had choice seats, downstairs in Section P, Row 6. Some of the questions I asked Brondos about the Gaedel game went unanswered. Brazenly, rudely, I chided the good doctor. “I was only nine,” he finally said, good-naturedly. “If I knew then that you were going to call me 64 years later, I would have paid more attention.” Brondos now lives in Spokane, Washington. It wasn’t until last year that he discovered the Eddie Gaedel Society, which was founded at Spokane’s O’Doherty’s Irish Grille and Pub in 2011. The fact that the Eddie Gaedel Society is based in Washington is pure coincidence. The group is the brainchild of 67-year-old Tom Keefe, a one-time trial lawyer and county chairman for the local Democratic party. Keefe read Veeck’s autobiography, Veeck — As in Wreck, when his father gave him the book for his fourteenth birthday. Years later, in 2011, he and a few friends were playing a noontime baseball trivia game at O’Doherty’s bar. After Keefe asked a question about Gaedel, somebody blurted, “Who the hell is Eddie Gaedel?” Keefe had a eureka moment. He decided to answer the question by organizing the Gaedel Society. The society currently has more than 100 members, including a few luminaries from outside Spokane — among them Mike Veeck (son of Bill) and Bill DeWitt. Since then it has become popular enough that its founder has granted chapter charters in other cities. Appropriately, tiny Elburn, Illinois, joined the fray because Gaedel played in an exhibition game there three weeks after he pinch-hit for the Browns. “The society was a chance to merge my love of baseball with my advocacy for the underdog and the little guy,” Keefe says. “I’m helping Gaedel achieve the immortality he was promised by Veeck. He showed a lot of courage that day. Without wearing a helmet, he went up there against a pitcher who was six feet tall, in front of a big crowd, and let him throw four pitches at him. Look at that photo of Eddie batting. Check that stance! That look in his eyes! I rest my case.” Atop the bar at O’Doherty’s is a fifteen-inch copper-andbrass statuette, featuring Gaedel in his diabolical home-plate

“It got to be that the only time Eddie was happy was when he was bombed. When he got a few drinks in him, he thought he was sixfoot-nine.” crouch. (It was made by Paula Turnbull, a 92-year-old nun who lives in Spokane.) And on August 19, the bar will unveil Take Four, Eddie!, a 30-by-60-foot acrylic mural that Keefe commissioned from Jennifer Ettinger, an artist in Vancouver, British Columbia. In Elburn, the Gaedel Pub opened in 2013. Richard Theobald and his wife, Annette, co-own the place. “[Richard] was making breakfast for us, flipping pancakes, when the name came to him,” Annette says. “He had remembered Eddie Gaedel. We wanted something that was sports-related, but meant small, since we have room for only 42 people. We wanted something that wouldn’t discourage women from coming, but would also appeal to the true sports fan. Eddie Gaedel, with his Elburn connection, was a perfect fit.” On September 5, 1951, shortly after he batted in St. Louis, Gaedel came to Sycamore, Illinois, one of Elburn’s neighboring towns, for an appearance fee. Two amateur teams were playing. Playing for the Sycamore Sons, a team that was formed in 1925, Gaedel struck out in his only time at bat. Unlike when he faced Sugar Cain of the Detroit Tigers, this time rival pitcher Gene Davis had managed to pitch with a low arc. Gaedel disagreed with two of the three called strikes.

“You’re nuts,” he said to the umpire after strike one. After the third strike, he said, “You’re the worst umpire I ever want to see.” Morrie McPherson was a ten-year-old batboy at the game. “I think the byplay with the umpire was part of an act,” McPherson said. “I think [Gaedel] just wanted to get it done and get out of there. He acted like he was happy it was over with.” McPherson, who lives in Phoenix, Arizona, still has the autograph that Gaedel gave him in the dugout. He began collecting autographs when he was eight, and says that his collection has reached 15,000. “I hardly ever sell any,” he says. “I’m just a collector.” Two days after batting in Sycamore, Gaedel was supposed to be the grand marshal for the Elburn Days parade, the kickoff for the town’s annual festival, but he arrived too late to participate. Afterward, there was a game between two teams of teenaged players, sponsored by the American Legion. Gaedel didn’t play in the field — there’s no record that he ever owned a glove — but he was allowed to bat three times. He notched two strikeouts and a walk. He never scored, though: Kenny Johnson, the opposing pitcher, picked Gaedel off first base after he took too long of a lead. After Veeck sold the near-bankrupt Browns to Baltimore interests after the 1953 season, he ran the Chicago White Sox. He used Gaedel for a few promotions in the midget’s hometown. Gaedel also appeared on Ed Sullivan’s and Bing Crosby’s TV shows, did some commercial work for Buster Brown shoes, worked for the Ringling Bros. circus and appeared in rodeos. But he never batted in another professional game and was a hard-drinking, embittered figure in the final years of his short life. He was living with his widowed mother when he was found dead in his bed, possibly from a street beating. “It got to be,” Veeck later said in an interview, “that the only time Eddie was happy was when he was bombed. When he got a few drinks in him, he thought he was six-foot-nine.” News accounts of Gaedel’s death, in Chicago on June 18, 1961, were sketchy, a reflection of a cursory police investigation which produced few details. The coroner said that he died after suffering a heart attack. Paul Dickson, who published a biography of Veeck, wrote that Gaedel had lost $11 in the yoking. Bill McCurdy, the songwriter in Houston, wrote about Gaedel’s death almost a half-century later on his personal website, the Pecan Park Eagle. “Someone got away with murder,” McCurdy concluded. continued on page 14

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Eddie Gaedel continued from page 13

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he entertainer Max Patkin was more or less a member of the Browns’ team for a while. If Bill Veeck hadn’t found Max Patkin, Patkin probably would have found Veeck. Patkin was an angular, double-jointed, rubber-faced comic, who spent most of his life entertaining fans in baseball’s major and minor leagues. The day Gaedel batted, Patkin wore a zero on his back and was listed in the scorecard as a coach. Patkin never met a ballpark he didn’t like. Occasionally, he would actually man the first-base coaching box for the Browns. “The poor kid was scared to death,” Patkin told reporters a few days after Gaedel batted, according to the Associated Press. “He had never had a bat in his hands. He didn’t weigh any more than my nose. Some of the Browns frightened him. They said that Gene Bearden, who threw a knuckleball, was going to take over pitching for the Tigers.” (In reality, this wouldn’t have been likely, since Bearden had pitched the first game of the doubleheader, which the Browns also lost.) “They said that if Bearden got out there, Eddie should watch out — one of those knuckleballs might hit him in the head.” As for Frank Saucier, who was displaced so that Gaedel could pinch-hit, the event was more bittersweet than comedic. Today he’s remembered solely as an asterisk, a supporting player to Gaedel’s big at-bat. At the time, though, he was full of potential. A standout at Westminster College, he had had a brilliant minor-league career, including a .443 average in 1949. But Saucier played only a half-season in the majors. He suffered from severe bursitis in the shoulder and batted fourteen times, mostly as a pinchhitter. He had one hit. After the 1951 season, he was called up by his Naval Reserve unit for two years. Twenty-six when he was discharged, he was too old to make a baseball comeback, and besides, he had wisely invested in Texas oil. One of his wells was pumping 150 barrels a day. The Browns hadn’t been paying him much more than the major-league minimum of $5,000 a year. The St. Louis Browns Fan Club, which has been honoring former players with a luncheon or dinner every year since 1985, has unsuccessfully asked Saucier to speak several times. This year, at its dinner on September 10, attendees will receive a specially printed Frank Saucier trading card. Because of his limited career, Saucier never had a card made by any of the bubble-gum companies. Bill Rogers, president of the Browns Fan Club, said he had made one more entreaty for Saucier to attend a few years back. “Sorry,” Saucier told him, “I’ve got some clients I have to be with then.” “Frank,” Rogers said, “you’re 85 years old. Come on. Can’t you let your clients go for a few days?” Saucier was unmoved. The fan club’s dinner, on September 10, will have to once more make do without Saucier, even though his baseball card will be a featured give-away item. Rogers is taking the high road: He will mail Saucier a few cards.

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wo years before his death, in 1959, a fan sent Gaedel some money to say thanks for the fun he had provided in St. Louis eight years before. Gaedel wrote back and said he would buy a birthday gift for his mother. In the letter, a delusional Gaedel referred to Will Harridge, president of the American League, as a “little bastard” (never mind that Harridge was a six-footer) who “ruined my career.” It is a long, type-written letter. Gaedel went on to say: “I get in fights, because they don’t believe I played ball. A cop in Cincinatty arrested me once and said I swore at him. That’s a lie. I broke a guy’s nose in Chicago when he called me a lier. Sometimes a guy has to do that. Just because I’m a short guy, I aint afraid to use my fists. Sometimes I think maybe I should of never worked for Mr. Veeck. I got a hundred bucks, but it wasn’t all good. Even my mother says maybe I should of staid in Chicago. My mother says I have a bad temper and its gonna come to no good.” He typed his full name, Edward Carl Gaedel, and signed it “Eddie Gaedel.”

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Because Gaedel didn’t do many autographs, the price on his signature was once listed as $20,000 in a collectors’ magazine. On eBay, the Gaedel scorecard was selling for $1,200 several years ago. And of course, Gaedel’s bat fetched the highest price of all, to an anonymous buyer on the Internet. The seller was Bob Gaedele, Eddie Gaedel’s nephew. As it turns out, Eddie was the only one in the family who shortened his last name by one letter. Growing up, the diminutive boy was bullied and ridiculed, and often called “guh-delly.” He thought that by dropping the third “E,” at least his irritants would say his name right. Bob Gaedele, 57, wasn’t even born when his uncle batted. He was ten when his father, who was Eddie’s average-sized brother, gave him the bat. Bob Gaedele, in a recent phone interview, says that he decided to auction the bat when he was told that it might cost $5,000 to get it appraised, after which insurance might run $200 a month. Heritage Auctions, the company that sold the bat, estimated it might bring $100,000. The final bid was for less than half of that. Gaedele says he doesn’t know the identity of the buyer. Attempts to locate the bat for this article were unsuccessful. A spokesperson for Heritage didn’t know if the bat had been resold: “In two years, the bat would not have increased much in value.” Bob Gaedele is continuing his uncle’s heritage in another way: His son, Kyle Gaedele, is an outfielder who was drafted by the San Diego Padres. Kyle Gaedele, 25, is playing for the San Antonio Missions of the Texas League — a team that Frank Saucier played for 65 years ago.

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n St. Louis, between 10th and 11th streets on Locust Avenue, is the Tiny Bar, which was opened by Aaron Perlut and three partners in May. The bar is so named for a dimensional reason — it has three stools and a few tables crammed into its 250 square feet. The name of the bar has other connotations: The owners hired Phil Jarvis to do the ten-by-twelve-foot Gaedel-inspired mural, and on its drink menu, for $10, is the “1/8” — an insane combination of rum, orange curacao, pineapple syrup, grenadine, lime juice and bitters. Play it safe and order an Alka-Seltzer for a chaser. The Tiny Bar’s Wi-Fi password is Gaedel-related. Another drink on the menu is the “Yellow Brick Road,” which must have something to do with Oz and the Munchkins. “There’s enough big in the world, so we decided to go small,” Perlut says. “So here’s to the little guy, and nobody in St. Louis exemplifies the little guy better than Eddie Gaedel. He exemplified the underdog spirit that we’re trying to acknowledge.” In another bar, the famed Sardi’s in New York City’s Theater District, a 1984 discussion about Eddie Gaedel’s Browns game led to the notion that the Gaedel caper might be developed into a skit for Diamonds, a baseball revue that my friend Steve Martin was producing. Not that Steve Martin. This Steve Martin was a marketing and advertising executive, and such an impassioned baseball fan that he once traveled to Germany to fungo a ball over the Berlin Wall. For his Broadway show, Martin was hardly working on the cheap. His team included Betty Comden, Adolph Green and the Tony Award-winning director Harold Prince. “See what you can give us about Gaedel, and we’ll take a look,” Martin told me. In the 1950s, Prince had co-produced Damn Yankees, a musical baseball fable that was a rousing success. But my undoing with Diamonds was Prince, who confessed that he knew little about baseball. Martin was counting on baseball fans as a built-in audience, but for the show to have legs he also needed the nonfan. Prince’s sensibilities, he thought, would be an asset. But when Prince looked at my sketch, he didn’t get it. Like Eddie Gaedel’s mother, Prince didn’t think a midget batting in a baseball game was man-bitesdog. It’s my word against Prince’s, perhaps; this is my alibi for missing out on Broadway, and I’m stuck with it. Diamonds opened without my work, but at least Steve Martin paid me a kill fee and sent an invitation to the premiere. The show ran for sixteen weeks, but they still took a bath. They needed Bill Veeck with Eddie Gaedel in front of the theater, hustling people in. ■

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MIDW PREMIEEST RE!

SEPTEMBER 11-13

Fri & Sat at 7:00pm, Sun at 2:00pm Journey with the STL Symphony back to the land of Hyrule with The Legend of Zelda:™ Symphony of the Goddesses. Master Quest is a never-before seen or heard multimedia concert experience that celebrates the beloved 28-year-old The Legend of Zelda™ franchise. The Legend of Zelda™: Symphony of the Goddesses is produced by Jason Michael Paul Productions, Inc., and Nintendo. The Legend of Zelda is a trademark of Nintendo. All music and associated trademarks are owned and used under license from Nintendo.

314-534-1700 stlsymphony.org

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NIGHT + DAY ®

WEEK OF AUGUST 13–19

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Bianca Del Rio wants you at the Sheldon this Saturday.

[LITERARY EVENT]

YMCA BOOK FAIR

Books, those tangible, readable things, aren’t going anywhere, at least not if we have anything to say about it. They fill our minds and our personal spaces with beauty. Look no further than the beloved YMCA Book Fair to add some bits of lettered allure to your life, and to maybe even pick up one (or more) of the fair’s rare and unusual books, which range from works published in the 1800s to more modern signed tomes. This year’s fair runs from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Thursday through Monday (August 13 through 17) at Queeny Park’s Greensfelder Recreation Complex (550 Weidman Road, Ballwin; www.ymcastlouis.org). Admission is $10 on Thursday and free all other days. Book sales benefit community members in need of language tutoring, as well as a variety of YMCA programs for young people. — A LISON SIELOFF [MAGIC]

MIDWEST MAGIC JUBILEE

School is just about to resume, and your kids deserve one last night on the town before they get back to the grindstone. The Midwest Magic Jubilee is exactly the sort of grand finale this summer needs. The world’s great magicians and illusionists perform three shows in three nights, and each one is different. Marvel at the mental prowess of Danny Orleans and the Incredible Jan Rose, who can tell what you’re thinking. Delight at the comic prestidigitation of Tom Burgoon, and thrill to the lightning-fast quips and tricks of Steve Barcellona. Shows take place at 7:30 p.m. Thursday through Saturday (August 13 to 15) at the St. Louis Lambert Hilton Hotel (10330 Natural Bridge Road; 314-669-6650 or www. mmjubilee.com). Tickets are $8 to $20. — PAUL FRISWOLD

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[BENEFIT]

For nearly 50 years the St. Louis Croatian Jr. Tamburitzans have made sure the band plays on for their community — with a focus on the tamburitza, a Slavic mandolin. Led by music director Dan Lusicic, the group’s annual social mixes traditional folk music and dancing with homemade food and desserts. Currently the group provides free tamburitza lessons to 45 students. Each one receives costumes and instruments from the continued on page 18

C O U R T E SY B I A N C A D E L R I O

ST. LOUIS CROATIAN JR. TAMBURITZANS

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organization, ensuring that future generations will pass on this vital cultural legacy. This year’s social starts at 5 p.m. at St. Joseph’s Croatian Church Hall (2112 South Twelfth Street; www.facebook.com/CroatianJrTamburitzansStLouisMo). Admission is $12, and children younger than twelve are free. — ROB LEVY [THEATER]

24-HOUR PLAY FESTIVAL

8 p.m. at Webster Groves High School (100 Selma Avenue, Webster Groves; 24hourplayfest4.brownpapertickets.com), those seven new plays are performed for the first time. The show is a fundraiser for Theatre Lab’s next production, but it’s also an opportunity to see local actors and actresses work in a more off-the-cuff show than is typical. But don’t worry about mistakes — these folks are pros. Tickets are $15. — PAUL FRISWOLD [COMEDY]

In this, the Reality Age, it’s surprising that there isn’t an ongoing reality competition on TV about making theater. But once again, real life steps up when TV lets you down. Theatre Lab and Players Project Theater Company have joined forces to present 24-Hour Play Festival. Last week seven playwrights randomly selected cast sizes, genres and settings for a new play. Each of the seven then had one week to write a play using those elements. Then seven directors pulled those scripts from a hat (it’s a big hat) and had just 24 hours to rehearse their play with a cast. Tonight at

LEVIN’S

BIANCA DEL RIO: ROLODEX OF HATE

Sharp-dressed and sharper-tongued drag comic Bianca Del Rio is currently doing a residency in Provincetown, but she’ll tear herself away long enough to light up the Sheldon (3648 Washington Boulevard; 314533-9900 or www.thesheldon.org) at 8 p.m. tonight with her Rolodex of Hate show. Del Rio achieved wider fame when she triumphed on RuPaul’s Drag Race, but she earned her fearsome reputation as a performer in the clubs of New Orleans. Some wits are described as “rapier-like,” or better yet

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NEW Merchandise Arriving Daily! HOURS: MON-FRI 9-5

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“savage”; Del Rio is feral, like Don Rickles on a bad day. Find out if she has your number in her Rolodex. Tickets are $38 to $81.50. — PAUL FRISWOLD [LITERARY EVENT]

CLAIRE MCCASKILL

Claire McCaskill won her first election in high school. After fulfilling her duties as homecoming queen, she set her sights on public service. McCaskill worked as a waitress while earning her law degree and went on to serve as Jackson County Prosecutor, a member of the Missouri House of Representatives and the state’s auditor. When she defeated Republican incumbent Jim Talent in 2006, she made history as the first woman Missouri elected to the U.S. Senate. Tonight at 5 p.m., St. Louis County Library Headquarters (1640 South Lindbergh Boulevard, Frontenac; 314-9943300 or www.left-bank.com) and Left Bank Books welcome the senator for a book signing and onstage interview to discuss her newly released memoir, Plenty Ladylike. Individual tickets cost $35 and include a copy of Plenty

Ladylike. The $45 package ticket admits two and also includes one copy of the book. Proceeds benefit the Library Foundation’s literacy programs. — MARK FISCHER

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[FILM]

GREASE SING-ALONG

The film adaptation of the musical Grease bowdlerized the original’s racy songs and then compounded that error in judgment by throwing in a disco theme song written by Barry Gibb. However, all those sins are forgiven (or at least forgotten) when Teen Angel (Frankie Avalon) shows up to sing “Beauty School Dropout.” Turner Classic Movies challenges you to give the iconic song a shot at a screening of Grease Sing-Along. The film screens locally at 2 and 7 p.m. Sunday and Wednesday (August 16 and 19) at Wehrenberg Des Peres 14 Cine (12701 Manchester Road, Des Peres; www.fathomevents.com). Tickets are $12.50. — PAUL FRISWOLD


C O U R T E SY O F PA R A M O U N T P I C T U R E S

From the left: Danny Orleans and Jan Rose, Claire McCaskill, the 24-Hour Play Festival, Grease and Randal Grichuk.

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[BASEBALL]

[CLASSIC ROCK]

ST. LOUIS CARDINALS

PETER FRAMPTON

Last October the St. Louis Cardinals swallowed a bitter pill when the team was defeated by the San Francisco Giants in the National League Championship Series. Avenging that loss has been a priority all season. As the Redbirds gear up for another playoff run, the team looks for payback when Buster Posey and the World Champions come to town for three games, at 7:15 p.m. Monday and Tuesday, and 6:15 p.m. Wednesday (August 17 to 19). It’s only August, but there will be a palpable postseason feeling in the air as the Redbirds, energized by promising rookies Randal Grichuk and Stephen Piscotty duke it out against the Giants’ balanced attack of good pitching and timely hitting. All games are played at — where else? — Busch Stadium (700 Clark Street; 314-345-9600 or www. soulardconcertsseries_qrtr_pg_aug.pdf stlcardinals.com), and tickets are $6.80 to $295.50. — ROB LEVY

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Peter Frampton was an early bloomer. In 1969, at eighteen, he was a founding member of Humble Pie. After a couple successful years the Essex rockers were increasingly becoming Steve Marriott’s hard-boogie vehicle, whereupon Pete split. He did premium session work; he cut a few solo albums. None did much sales-wise. Then the 800-pound gorilla crashed into the room. The animal in question, 1976’s Frampton Comes Alive, was famished. It ate record buyers’ money. It never stopped eating. Comes Alive sold 6 million copies, and Peter Frampton became a household name — because his frickin’ album was in every American house. It’s easy to overlook how good this famous record is, and how tasteful, melodic, and song-serving a guitarist Frampton always is, but listen to it again and 1 reminded. 7/22/15 6:50 AMyet, see him live in conget Better cert tonight at 8 p.m. at River City Casino (777

River City Casino Boulevard; 888-578-7289 or www.rivercity.com). Tickets are $49.50 to $100. — ALEX WEIR

W E D N E S D AY |08.19 [PROG]

YES

Any mention of Yes this summer has to address Chris Squire first. The legendary bass man was the only remaining original member of the band, but Squire’s recent death from leukemia forces his colleagues to ride ever more changes. Yet even for a veteran unit well accustomed to dissension and departure, the loss of Squire seems unimaginable. Among bass guitarists and music heads in general, he is revered for his stupendous technique, feel and the feat of having introduced entirely new sonic hues to the instrument’s palette. His virtuosic lines on “Heart of the Sunrise” and “The Fish (Shindleria Praemeturus)” are staggering — they not only anchor the arrangements, they blow them out into wild

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supernovas of rich texture and harmonic technicolor. But Yes presses on. Squire’s close friend Billy Sherwood is subbing for his late buddy; we wish the very capable Sherwood the best in an unenviable role tonight at 7:30 p.m. at the Family Arena (2002 Arena Parkway, St. Charles; 314-896-4200 or www.familyarena.com). Tickets are $43 to $103. — A LEX WEIR Planning an event, exhibiting your art or putting on a play? Let us know and we’ll include it in the Night & Day section or publish a listing in the online calendar — for free! Send details via e-mail (calendar@riverfronttimes.com), fax (314-754-6416) or mail (6358 Delmar Boulevard, Suite 200, St. Louis, MO 63130, attn: Calendar). Include the date, time, price, contact information and location (including ZIP code). Please submit information three weeks prior to the date of your event. No telephone submissions will be accepted. Find more events online at www.riverfronttimes.com.

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film Fantastic Pile of Crap

Kate Mara as Sue Storm and Michael B. Jordan as Johnny Storm face off again.

JOSH TRANK’S SUPERHERO FLICK WILL HAVE YOU ROOTING FOR THE CREDITS Fantastic Four Directed by Josh Trank. Written by Jeremy Slater, Simon Kinberg and Josh Trank. Starring Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara and Jamie Bell. Now playing at multiple theaters.

Working Girls TANGERINE IS A NON-EXPLOITATIONAL STORY OF TRANSGENDER HOOKERS OUT FOR JUSTICE AND FRIENDSHIP Tangerine Directed by Sean Baker. Written by Sean Baker and Chris Bergoch. Starring Kitana Kiki Rodriguez, Mya Taylor, Karren Karagulian and James Ransome. Now playing at the Landmark Tivoli Theatre, 6350 Delmar Boulevard, University City. Call 314-727-7271 or visit www.landmarktheatres.com.

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hot on an iPhone 5s modified with a widescreen lens adapter, an $8 imagecontrol app and a Steadicam rig, Sean Baker’s Tangerine has become so closely identified with its unique means of production that the wild and abundant pleasures of its narrative and the inclusive, groundbreaking nature of its cast have received inadequate celebration. That’s to a degree understandable — Baker and co-cinematographer Radium Cheung certainly deserve their accolades for the film’s budget-dictated innovations and its 20

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to be using genius slave labor to construct his teleporter. He told Reed he was getting a full scholarship to a special school, but it appears feverish, color-saturated beauty — but it’s the freshness of Tangerine’s storytelling that truly holds our interest and elevates the work from the category of technical curiosity. A melancholy comedy — extremely funny from moment to moment but imbued with an overall sadness, its SoCal sunshine clouded by the constant threat of catastrophic heartbreak — Tangerine takes place over a single day, a not-very-merry Christmas Eve, in a distinctly unglamorous precinct of LA, with the story unfolding at such mundane, downscale locales as a doughnut shop, Laundromat, car wash, taxi-cab interior and hourly rate motel. Although the film is very much an ensemble, its central characters — and emotional core — are a contrasting pair of transgender sex workers, volatile Sin-Dee (Kitana Kiki Rodriguez) and calming Alexandra (Mya Taylor), and scenes with them appropriately bookend Tangerine. Just released from a stretch in lockup, an outraged Sin-Dee discovers in the film’s opening minutes that boyfriend-cum-pimp Chester (the sleazily charismatic James Ransome of The Wire’s second season) has been dallying in her absence with another

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that Reed is working for Storm, alongside all Storm’s other “students,” and that Storm is working for some rather nefarious financiers

who do not have anyone’s best interests at heart. Reed is not studying at all, this place doesn’t look like a school, and no one appears

C O U R T E SY O F M AG N O L I S P I C T U R E S

here isn’t an authentic human motivation or emotion to be found in this 187,874th reboot of Fantastic Four, a tale of boy genius Reed Richards (Miles Teller), who, with the help of his pal Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell), builds a teleporter device in his garage and gets recruited by a mysterious organization to help them finish their teleporter device. Instead of appreciable motivation and character, we have an astute little kid callBY ing Reed “a dick,” which is M A R YA N N true but is meant to be cute. Or people saying things like, J O H A N S O N “It’s fun having you here,” when we have no idea what that could possibly refer to, having seen no fun nor even any interaction between the characters involved in this exchange. It’s as if all the human drama that creates characters we care about has been excised. The “here” is the scientific think tank where Dr. Franklin Storm (Reg E. Cathey) appears

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Mickey O’Hagan and Kitana Kiki Rodriguez are on a mission.


B E N R OT H S T E I N

to even notice that this could be a problem. Also here, because there has to be four of them, are Storm’s kids Sue (Kate Mara), who is some sort of unspecified brainiac, and Johnny (Michael B. Jordan), who appears to prefer that he were in Fast & Furious. Oh, and there’s the guy who apparently no one can see is going to be the villain, Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell), who is actually called “Von Doom” and who keeps talking about how the planet and humanity don’t deserve to survive. Of course he’s going to turn evil. The plan is that once the teleporter is finished, all the kids will take a trip to the other dimension on the other side. This is a brilliant idea: Let’s put the only people who understand how this teleporter thing works, plus an untrustworthy hothead (that’s Johnny), into a machine that we’ve only barely tested, and send them off into the unknown. And then the movie tries to make Tim Blake Nelson the bad guy for coming in and suggesting that this might not be the smartest

thing to do. (To be fair, Nelson’s Dr. Allen is one of the nefarious financiers. But he’s not wrong about this.) The four guys — neglecting to invite Sue, because ick a girl, maybe? who knows — decide to go off in the thing anyway, and end up all mutated. They are all the untrustworthy hotheads that Johnny alone is supposed to be, and they even end up mutating Sue on the way home, her thanks for helping them at mission control when they get into trouble. Complicated, messed-up antiheroes are one thing — often a good thing. These guys are all just unlikable jerks with no discernible personalities. Even Sue. They certainly do not improve with superpowers...but that’s when the movie gets even more like a cheesy Saturday morning cartoon from the era before superpowered antiheroes were taken seriously by The Movies. From a muddled mess of a beginning and middle, Fantastic Four swoops into a cheap-looking action finale. The bar has been raised far too high on comic-book movies for anyone to accept junk like this these days. It’s pretty insulting to fans and to the original material that anyone thought they could get away with this. ■

girl in his stable. The sexual betrayal is made all the more egregious because Chester is cheating on her with a “fish” — i.e., a biological woman — and Sin-Dee sets off in angry pursuit of her betrayer and his new side piece, with Alexandra now and again in reluctant tow. Vigorously stalking the city’s mean streets and visiting Chester’s usual haunts, SinDee first locates her rival, Dinah (Mickey O’Hagan). Press-ganged into aiding in the hunt for the elusive Chester, Dinah provides amusingly cynical, dyspeptic commentary as Sin-Dee drags her forcibly about the city. The film adds yet another significant voice to its noisy chorus in Razmik (Karren Karagulian), a married Armenian cabbie with a taste for trans prostitutes; his peregrinations occasionally intersect with the searchers, and his taxi fares (and personal affairs) provide additional comic complications to Tangerine’s farcical drama. Relentlessly propulsive and chockablock with entertaining tangents and brief but memorable incidental characters, Tangerine climaxes when Chester is at last cornered in Donut Time, with the various dramatis personae — including Razmik’s wife and

appalled mother-in-law — gathering for a chaotic shouting-and-shoving match, much to the dismay of the aggrieved shop owner (producer Shih-Ching Tsou). The emotional storm that’s been gathering throughout the movie finally arrives with gale force, and as the hard rain scrubs away and reveals hurtful secrets, relationships risk being swept up in the flood. Tangerine obviously explores LGBTQ issues and the ugly aspects of the sex trade, but never in a didactic fashion — it’s not teaching lessons but honestly showing lives. In a similar way, the film wonderfully reflects the diversity of contemporary America without self-consciously emphasizing its multicultural credentials. Baker and co-writer Chris Bergoch allow all their characters, even Chester, moments of empathy and surprising complexity. In particular, Alexandra and SinDee — so vividly played by non-professionals Taylor and Rodriguez — are never defined by their racial and ethnic backgrounds or even their trans identity: They’re simply human beings, and their enduring friendship transcends all differences and difficulties. — CLIFF FROEHLICH

Miles Teller (left) as Reed Richards and Michael B. Jordan as Johnny Storm prepare for a battle royal with a friend-turned-enemy.

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STILL ROLLING OUR ONGOING, OCCASIONALLY SMARTASS, DEFINITELY UNOFFICIAL GUIDE TO WHAT’S PLAYING IN ST. LOUIS THEATERS A couple dozen college guys, a random flip of the coin. And with that, the notorious Stanford

Prison Experiment began in August 1971. Professor Philip Zimbardo wanted to see what psychological effects of simulated imprisonment would have on otherwise “normal” college kids. He split the group of 24 into “prisoners” and “prison guards,” telling the latter, “We’re going to take away their individuality in various ways.... We’ll have all the power, and they’ll have none.” Depravation, psychological abuse and rioting followed, and the professor abandoned the experiment after just six days. Imagine the toll

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taken on the incarcerated over the course of decades. Kyle Patrick Alvarez’s film is a potent and timely reminder that the imprisoned and those who imprison can sometimes be two sides of the same coin. ● We’ve all seen the wedding-cake topper of the bride grabbing the groom by the collar, dragging him away from a life filled with sexy funtimes and toward the altar of imprisonment, where all that’s left is monogamy and arguing over how to properly squeeze the toothpaste tube (from the bottom

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up, always). In Trainwreck, it’s beer-slamming, bed-hopping Amy (Amy Schumer) who’d rather order another round of shots than order

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fine china. Until, of course, she meets Aaron (Bill Hader) who reminds her that, in the words of British philosopher Samantha Fox, naughty girls need love too. Sure, it gets a little formulaic in places, but it’s a hell of a lot more fun than

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of the summertime blues, if you’re feeling old and irrelevant with the reappearance of back-to-

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And they are pissed. But don’t worry: This is a world where Donkey Kong prowess saves the universe, Kevin James can be president and, of course, Adam Sandler gets the girl. In other words, it’s “ageless” in the sense that every other Sandler flick has been since about 1995. Don’t you feel younger already?— Kristie McClanahan

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the arts Another Cinderella Story A NEW “MUSICAL FABLE” AT STRAY DOG COMES UP SHORT Spellbound! A Musical Fable Through August 22 at Tower Grove Abbey, 2336 Tennessee Avenue. Tickets are $10 to $25. Call 314-865-1995 or visit www.straydogtheatre.org.

Above: Meadow Tien Nguy, Deborah Sharn, Patrick Kelly and Maria Bartolotta. Left: Chris Tipp and Meadow Tien Nguy.

JOHN LAMB

omewhere inside Spellbound! A Musical Fable is an entertaining story trying to get out. Three nights into the play’s premiere run, however, that story has not fully emerged from the welter of ideas, characters and fairy tales that writers Gary F. Bell and Robert L. White have incorporated in their script. There are flashes of wit and engaging songs, BY but they are impeded by PA U L too many elements vying for stage time. FRISWOLD Bell, who is Stray Dog’s founder and artistic director, acknowledged as much in his introductory address before the curtain went up. Calling Spellbound! “still a work in progress,” he cautioned the audience that not everything mentioned in the program was still present in the show — and that there might be more alterations coming. And there needs to be; with a running time just short of three hours (including the two intermissions), the overall impression left by Spellbound! is that it overstays its welcome. The story, which Bell and his writing partner initially conceived in 1994, is a twist on Cinderella. Arabella (Meadow Tien Nguy) is a drudge in service to her stepmother Layla (Deborah Sharn) and her stepsisters Muchaneta (Maria Bartolotta) and Kokumo (Eileen Engel). She has a fairy godmother of sorts in the enchantress Inaambura (Paula Stoff Dean), and an actual father in Bangababo (Patrick Kelly). Our prince is Adama (Chris Tipp), a wastrel who doesn’t want to marry or settle down, which angers his father Changamire (Zachary Stefaniak). All of the characters are linked by Arabella. Nguy plays the role with genuine warmth and charm, and she has a fantastic singing voice, so much so that it’s disappointing that we don’t get to hear it until the end of the first act. Which is not to take anything away from the rest of the performances — but the steady introduction of new characters in the first act made it unclear who, exactly, we are supposed to be rooting for. Is it Bangababo and his attempts to get

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away from his cruel wife? Is it Changamire and Inaambura’s budding romance? Is it Adama and his quest to have a good time with every girl in the village? All of these people and plots are entertaining, but coming one after the other as they do makes Spellbound! feel jumbled and uncertain. Visually, the show is a treat. Bell and Eileen Engel designed the costumes, which are fanciful takes on fairy-tale couture and cosplay culture; a great deal of face paint and make-up effects are used. Rob Lippert’s set is extravagant, with sliding trees, a functional tower on one side of the stage and a treetop hideout on the opposite side. The band is at the back of the stage, under an overhang draped with camouflage netting. The musicians sound good and confident, but they were occasionally drowned out by larger vocal ensembles, such as during the riverfronttimes.com

With a running time just short of three hours, Spellbound! overstays its welcome. raucous “Gonna Have a Ball at the Carnival.” The song is a standout, as are “The Tiger’s Tango,” “The Lady Bird Burlesque” and the love song “Who Would Imagine?” Musically, Bell and White hew to the Disney musical school of soaring ballads and comic romps. I am decidedly not a fan of that particular school, but there’s no denying its broad popularity. Ultimately, Bell and White have all of the pieces that make a successful show. Some careful editing and a bit more focus on the heroine will make those pieces shine rather than just intermittently sparkle. ■

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Three Kings is known around town as having a Great Craft Beer list, but now we are just as famous for our Upscale, Global Pub Food as well as our Award Winning Atmosphere.

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cafe A Thrilla From Manila TWICE WEEKLY, KAMAYAN BRINGS A MASSIVE — AND EXTREMELY TASTY — TO FILIPINO BUFFET TO UNIVERSITY CITY Kamayan 8004 Olive Boulevard, University City; 636-2990241. Thurs. 5 p.m.-12 a.m.; Sun. 11 a.m.-2 p.m.

he air in the Mandarin House banquet center’s main hall was perfumed with the scent of spiced coconut milk and roasted pork. Several women — cousins, aunties, friends — dressed in bejeweled, neon-colored dresses and matching shawls fluttered around the room, greeting BY guests and making sure the C H E RY L large banquet tables were properly set. Underneath a BAEHR thatched canopy, one chef was setting up a buffet of authentic Filipino dishes while another hacked apart a whole roasted pig. Were it Saturday night, I would have thought I had wandered into a Filipino wedding reception. But this was Sunday morning, so there was only one other explanation: I was at Kamayan’s weekly brunch, a treasure hiding in plain sight that, once word gets out, will surely be one of the hottest dining experiences in town. I say “experience” because Kamayan isn’t a restaurant in the traditional sense — it’s a pop-up in Mandarin House’s cavernous banquet facility on Olive Boulevard, in the heart of University City’s Chinatown. It started this past March as nothing more than a group of expat friends who wanted to get together on Sundays to cook — though it’s since morphed into a weekly, open-to-the-public affair. There’s no owner, per se, though Ruby Pradas serves as its matriarch. Every week, she oversees the group of friends and family as they gather together to prepare the massive feast. All of them work day jobs and weren’t necessarily looking to open a restaurant. They simply craved the social interaction that comes from cooking together and wanted to share their culinary heritage with their adopted community. In addition to Sunday brunch, Kamayan now opens on Thursday evenings for à la carte service, live music and karaoke. I visited last Thursday and witnessed possibly the most diverse crowd I’ve seen assembled under one roof in this town, a few of whom were tearing up the dance floor with some serious ballroom moves as a cover band played Michael Jackson. Forget the food — this alone is worth a visit. But how could you forget the food after being treated to such an array of authentic Filipino fare? There is no way to experience

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Above: A selection of Kamayan brunch dishes including lumpia, halabos, lechon and a variety of condiments. Left: Pork adobo with rice.

Kamayan’s feast in its entirety on one visit — two, even, is pushing it. The buffet is an overwhelming assortment of roughly 30 different dishes, most of which involve pork in one form or another. Fortunately, you’re asked upon arrival if it’s your first visit. If the answer is yes, a worker will give you a full tour of the buffet. Unlike the à la carte menu, which tries its hand at some forgettable fried chicken and hot wings, there is no filler on this spread — every last item is an authentic, made-fromscratch dish. It’s as though the folks at Kamayan opened up a Filipino cookbook and challenged themselves to cook every single dish. In a similar spirit, I tried to sample everything. I think I made it through, though I don’t recommend doing things this way. By the end I was so glazed over Icontinued on page 26 riverfronttimes.com AMUOGN IV IM riverfronttimes.com U TS H T X 1 2X–X - 1 8X, , 22001 0 5X RR IV EE RR FF RR OO NN T TT T IM EE S S 251


A variety of condiments: pickled papaya, shrimp paste, sweet and sour sauce, lechon sauce, vinegar with oil and salt.

Kamayan

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Our server pointed out the dinuguan, telling me, “You don’t have to try it unless you are brave.” A fair warning, since “dinuguan” turns out to be pork blood stew.

could barely discern the pork on my plate from the pickled papaya. Heed my warning: Take a few leisurely trips and then dive deep into the highlights rather than trying to do it all. One such dish is the sinigang, a piquant, sour pork and turnip soup made with tamarind; it’s the Filipino equivalent of grandma’s chicken and vegetable soup. Pancit bihon is a must-try if you’re new to Filipino cuisine. The micro-thin rice noodles (calling them “angel hair” would suggest more thickness than is accurate) are infused with caramelized garlic and onions, then tossed with vegetables and shredded pork. These noodles, as well as the garlic sautéed rice, make excellent bases for some of the other, sistance. When our server gave us a tour of the more stewlike dishes. buffet, she cautiously pointed out the dinuguan, The Philippines’ most famous dish, adobo, telling me, “You don’t have to try it unless you is a slow-simmered vinegar and soy-based pork are brave.” A fair warning, because “dinuguan” stew. The meat drippings infuse the sauce, turns out to be pork-blood stew. forming a rich, slightly sour tasting gravy — Committed to my craft, I gently ladled the perfect for soaking up the accompanying fork- velvety, chocolate-colored stew from its bubtender potatoes and carrots. It’s like a Pacific bling cast-iron cauldron over two rice and coIsland-style pot roast. The menudo (not to be conut flour pastries for the wildest version of confused with the Mexican tripe soup) is an- biscuits and gravy I will every try in my life. In other way to enjoy slow-stewed pork, though theory, it isn’t for the squeamish, though once this time it’s paired with a rich, tomato and I got past the idea of the dish, I found the stew chickpea sauce, giving almost a North African itself to be mild and slightly sweet, akin to mole. feel. I grabbed a piece of what my Filipino friends Oxtails, braised with peanuts, curry, egg- lovingly refer to as “stinky fish” — salted, dried plant and bok choy, are rich whole whitefish — before in mouthfeel, though the dish heading to the lavish dessert lacks much flavor on its own. buffet. Fried, jackfruit-stuffed Kamayan Brunch..................$24.95 It is meant to be paired with a plantains; rice cakes flecked generous dollop the accompawith corn; and a lychee flan nying spicy salted shrimp and that tasted like a hunk of carachile paste. It combines with the peanuts and mel were all excellent, though I recommend curry to form a warm, earthy flavor. saving room for the shaved ice. Guests are enBy this point, I was overwhelmed with pork couraged to top it with every last topping that’s stews, but I allowed myself to be tempted by the offered — jackfruit, coconut milk, toasted cocobicol express. This was fortunate, as it ended up nut, tapioca, yam ice cream. I let the attendant being my favorite dish — a fiery hot concoction simply pile everything on and reveled in the of pork, papayas, coconut milk and fish sauce. cornucopia of flavors and textures. It was the most complex combination of flaWhich pretty much sums up my experience vors I tried at Kamayan. To cool my mouth, I at Kamayan. I just kept piling things on my eschewed water for a few hunks of the roasted plate, one after another, until I couldn’t really whole pig. It’s a Filipino tradition: succulent discern what was happening — though I knew meat, crispy skin, perfection. I was enjoying myself. That, I’ve come to learn, It also gave me strength for the pièce de ré- is the mark of a good Filipino party. ■ 26

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PHOTO & DESIGN : RICK GOULD

ERIC LYSAGHT WEDNESDAYS 8-10PM

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short orders [CHEF CHAT]

Farmer Girl Meats’ Leslie Moore Is a Little Bit Country and a Little Bit City

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C O M P L I M E N T S O F FA R M E R G I R L M E AT S

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eslie Moore of Farmer Girl Meats remembers the first time she picked up meat at the grocery store. She was 23 years old and living in St. Louis as a business school graduate student. She ran into the store to grab a pound of hamburger; when she got home and unwrapped it, she was shocked by what she saw. “I thought something was wrong with it,” Moore recalls. “Seriously, I thought it had gone bad. It was so fatty. I almost took it back. It was disgusting.” It may seem funny that it took Moore until her early twenties to experience what most of us consider standard fare. Then again, most of us didn’t grow up on a cattle farm. Moore was raised on a ranch near the Kansas-Missouri border and feasted on fresh, humanely raised, grass-fed beef before “sustainable” was a buzzword. When she left the farm — first for college, then for business school — she was shocked by how different the meat peddled by her local grocery store was from the highquality stuff she grew up eating. Fortunately, she didn’t have to rely on the store for meat all that often. Moore’s parents would regularly send care packages of beef from their farm and, eventually, people from her neighborhood caught on. “I had friends who would ask me for some. I was like an underground supplier,” Moore laughs. Her friends’ interest in the meat gave Moore an idea: Why not figure out a way to connect people to small farms so they can directly purchase quality products straight from the source? She used her background in brand management — then, her full-time job — to begin her company, Farmer Girl Meats. Her target customer is who she sees when she looks in the mirror: a busy, working mother who wants to provide healthy, high-quality food for her family. Rather than selling her wares at farmers’ markets, Moore decided on a direct-to-consumer model whereby her website would serve as a hub for producers and consumers. “Once I was exposed to the commercial meat industry, I knew I had to change it,” Moore says. “I can’t imagine feeding that stuff to my kids.” Moore took a break from the farm to share her thoughts on the St. Louis food scene, farmgirl stereotypes, and her mouth-watering last meal on earth. What is one thing people don’t know about you that you wish they did?

That I’m a farm girl trapped in a city girl’s body.... I mean, a city girl trapped in a farm girl’s body. I mean, both! There is an expectation that because I’m a farm kid I should wear overalls, have a country vernacular and that I’m ignorant about business fundamentals. Any hint of sophistication is almost a mark against my credibility as a true farm kid. Talk about stereotypes — as a farm kid it’s pretty offensive. Most people don’t realize I attended a top twenty business graduate school, received an award for excellence in marketing and then had a successful career with a global food brand. I’m well educated and well read. But all that doesn’t mean I’m not comfortable on the farm — I know how to work livestock, look at a calf and know if it is bull material, and get over a fence in exactly four round-about moves. The point is that I’m just me — a little bit farm girl, a little bit city gal. I couldn’t live fully without having a foot in the rural countryside and a foot in the bustling city. Who I am reflects the influence both have had on me. I’m lucky because Farmer Girl Meats affords me the opportunity to live and work in both. What daily ritual is non-negotiable for you? Ha ha. Brushing my teeth? Other than that I don’t have the luxury of having a daily ritual. I’m a mother of three running a startup family business in an under-funded and male-dominated industry. No two days are alike. ’Nuff said. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? To act like Mary Poppins with my kids when I feel like Cruella DeVille. Sometimes at the end of the day, it’s hard to take my war paint off. Getting good meat from farm to customer

AUGUST 12-18, 2015

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Leslie Moore, founder of Farmer Girl Meats.

seems so simple, but in reality it can feel like being in battle. There is very little supply-chain infrastructure, working with small butcher plants can be like stepping back into 1950, and farm life is inherently a roller coaster. So after a day of constantly pushing forward, it sometimes feels like I need superhuman powers to fully engage in a game of “galactic tyrannosaurus racer-man” or “Darla the Fish Killer”’ Don’t ask. “Darla the Fish Killer” is my little girl’s favorite game. It’s from Finding Nemo. I’m the narrator, she’s Nemo and our dog is Darla the Fish Killer. What is the most positive trend in food, wine or cocktails that you’ve noticed in St. Louis over the past year? Definitely the trend towards fresh, local ingredients in children’s fare within the boutique St. Louis dining scene. Pastaria and Schlafly Bottleworks are good examples. Local, high-quality food shouldn’t be reserved exclusively for adults. As a society we regularly feed our children the yuckiest food and ingredients: Chicken nuggets made from who knows what, french fries awkwardly shaped like happy faces, soggy pizza. For goodness sakes, I wouldn’t eat those things, so why would I feed it to my kids? Hence parents can feel alienated from dining culture, and likewise, restaurateurs are missing out on a customer group that would happily pay a premium for local, fresh options for everyone. Those restaurants that can offer a food safe-haven to families will do well, and they don’t need to be “family” establishments. I’m really excited to see more local ingredients and

from-scratch food on children’s menus in St. Louis. It means as a culture we’re more deeply integrating local food into our everyday, St. Louis society. Kind of like the next phase in the local food pursuit. It makes me happy. Who is your St. Louis food crush? Liz Schuster of Tenacious Eats. I was on a panel with her last year and was truly inspired by her tenacity and talent. She’s earned her way to the top of a traditionally male field while holding on to her vision and creativity. Plus she bow hunts, can break down a hog, and Tenacious Eats is yum. That’s a whole bunch of awesomeness wrapped up with a bow. Which ingredient is most representative of your personality? Smoked paprika. Kind of spunky, lots of depth, but not overwhelming. Most of the time. If someone asked you to describe the current state of St. Louis’ culinary climate, what would you say? Blooming. I believe great things bloom, not explode. And we have to give great things time to bloom — evolution is a powerful phenomenon if we’re patient enough to let it take place. The St. Louis culinary scene has been percolating and evolving tremendously over the last five years it seems. Now we’re seeing the fruits of that. It’s blooming. Name an ingredient never allowed in your kitchen. Curry. My husband is crazy allergic. So sad. What is your after-work hangout? I’m chuckling to myself at the thought of an “after-work hangout.” As if! My after-work hangout is passing out in my bed at 10 p.m. — cross my fingers and hopefully. That’s heaven. What’s your food or beverage guilty pleasure? Really fabulous wine — it does a body good. I have a sommelier named Greg that curates a seasonal box of wine for me every couple of months. My eyes widen like a little girl every time I open my box o’wine to reveal the unknown treasures that await. I love the act of discovery, and I love wine...it’s amazing. What would be your last meal on earth? Growing up on the farm, almost every Sunday we had a 2 p.m. “supper.” No idea why it was at 2 p.m. My mom served a slow-cooked beef roast with “purist” mashed potatoes (none of that sour cream or fancy stuff ) and real pan gravy. In the summer she would slice up ripe, hot, juicy, just-picked tomatoes, and slather them with salt and pepper. The gravy was so good we’d pour it over plain bread and eat that along with the roast and potatoes. We didn’t have snacks or anything like that, so when suppertime rolled around I was starving. Always. I don’t remember ever turning up my nose at a meal. The roast would literally melt in your mouth, the mashed potatoes were buttery and soft, and those salty tomatoes made the whole meal taste fresh and light. Definitely my last meal on earth. —CHERYL BAEHR


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Beef chopchae.

[FIRST LOOK]

Sapporo 2 in Midtown

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n one episode of Netflix’s Chef ’s Table, chef Niki Nakayama is profiled for her much-celebrated LA restaurant, n/naka. Although her previous sushi restaurant was a commercial success, Nakayama felt boxed in by the limited expectations of a sushi restaurant. Burned out, she quit. Her passion for the kitchen didn’t return until she took some creative liberties at n/naka. Although their styles are very different, Kang and Hana Na might just be St. Louis’ version of Nakayama. The couple owned and operated the successful Sapporo sushi restaurant in Ballwin before selling it two years ago. Both Kang and Hana are Korean, so rather than open another strictly sushi restaurant, they returned to their roots and added their favorite Korean dishes next to the Japanese offerings at Sapporo 2 (3043 Olive Street; 314-899-0698). The nigiri, sashimi and roll options are extensive, but mostly straightforward. One exception to this is the “Amigo’s Roll,” which you are not likely to find anywhere else. This isn’t a roll for the traditionalist who turns up the nose at American bastardizations like a Philly roll. Spicy yellowtail is paired with cream cheese, jalapeno and cilantro, then given a dip in the deep fryer. Korean offerings include Korean barbecue, ramyun (noodle soup), chopchae (stir-fried sweet potato noodle) and soondubu (silken tofu soup served with rice). Non-sushi Japanese options are udon and yaki soba noodles. The lunch menu offers a variety of combination specials, as well as lunch-sized servings. The drink menu includes ample options of sake, beer, wine and cocktails. Sapporo 2 recommends the chopchae as an under-the-radar dish that people might miss, so we had to try it. By nature, the sweet-potato noodles are a bit tougher, but the colorful variety of crispy vegetables such as carrots, peppers, broccoli, cabbage, onion and mushrooms

Amigo’s Roll make for an enjoyable dish. The chopchae has a very personal touch as well: The Perilla lilies framing the plate are grown by the owners in their back yard. In addition to their Korean-inflected food offerings, Sapporo 2 has a much different atmosphere than most sushi restaurants in the city. Established sushi restaurants such as Drunken Fish in the Central West End or Cafe Mochi on South Grand effuse a hip, modern vibe. Sapporo 2 goes the opposite direction with traditional art and conservative finishes. The grand opening has not yet been announced, but Sapporo 2 is open for business. A menu is being constructed for a sushi happy hour which will include specials on appetizers, drinks and food from 4:30 to 7 p.m. —JOHNNY FUGITT


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HAPPY HOUR 3

TO

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$5 Dirty Martinis, Apple Martinis & Lemon Drops

The Dining Guide lists only restaurants recommended by RFT food critics. The print listings below rotate regularly, as space allows. Our complete Dining Guide is available online; view menus and search local restaurants by name or neighborhood.

3265 S . Jefferson Avenue St. Louis, MO 63118 (314) 776-5700

5:00–8:30 PM CENTRAL AVE DOWNTOWN CLAYTON

Tuesdays, Aug. 25–Sept. 29

TWILIGHT

TUESDAYS AMEREN CONCERT SERIES

FALL 2015

6pm to 8pm • FREE Museum’s Front Lawn Lindell & DeBaliviere Forest Park mohistory.org

Featuring STL’s best food trucks!

MISSOURI HISTORY MUSEUM

Price Guide (based on a three-course meal for one, excluding tax, tip and beverages): $ up to $15 per person $$ $15 - $25 $$$ $25 - $40 $$$$ more than $40

C L AY T O N 801 Chophouse 137 Carondelet Plaza, Clayton, 314-8759900. 801 Chophouse’s super-size steaks are the most expensive meal in town — and that seems to be the point. The restaurant peddles opulence to holders of corporate cards, as well as regular folks who want to feel like royalty (at least for a day). For the price tag, diners will receive impeccable service, fine wines and shamefully large cuts of beef. Bone-in selections are the best offerings: The strip, rib eye, pork and veal all benefit from the extra flavor (and thicker cut). 801 Chophouse offers a variety of steak enhancements, from Oscar-style with crab and béarnaise to a bone-marrow bath. However, the high-quality steaks and chops are delicious enough on their own. Seafood is incredibly fresh, and the oysters taste straight from the coast. Side dishes are served a la carte: The creamy scalloped potatoes and lobster macaroni & cheese are excellent options — just make sure to ask for a half order so you can save room for the Grand Mariner soufflé. $$$$ Cantina Laredo 7710 Forsyth Boulevard, Clayton, 314-7252447. Cantina Laredo in Clayton is the first St. Louis location of the Dallas-based upscale Tex-Mex chain. The restaurant’s large, modern bar has quickly become a happy-hour hot spot, pouring stiff drinks for the area’s business clientele. On the food side, diners can expect modernized, fusion versions of Mexican and Tex-Mex dishes, anchored by a large T H IS C O D E selection of fajitas and TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE enchiladas. The restaurant’s RIVERFRONT TIMES signature appetizer, the IPHONE/ANDROID APP “Top Shelf Guacamole,” is FOR MORE RESTAURANTS OR VISIT prepared tableside, with acriverfronttimes.com coutrements added to one’s preferences. The “Enchiladas Veracruz” features two tortillas stuffed with a Mexican version of chicken spinach dip, and the “Costillas Con Fajita” is a gigantic, searing hot platter of ribs, steak and chicken, large enough for three diners. A must-try is the “Torta de Carnitas,” smoked pork topped with goat cheese, apricot jam and an over-easy egg. Though it’s difficult to save room for dessert, one must find a way to manage: The Mexican apple pie, finished with brandy butter tableside on a searing-hot cast-iron skillet is a scrumptious end to the meal. $$-$$$ Whitebox Eatery 176 Carondelet Plaza, Clayton, 314-8622802. White Box Eatery elevates daytime eating for busy Clayton diners with its upscale take on breakfast and lunch fare. The sleek, modern restaurant offers breakfast and lunch on the weekdays, and Saturday and Sunday brunch, with items such as turkey meatloaf, brioche French toast and smoked-salmon tartine. Pancakes, covered with housemade granola, fresh berries and whipped cream is a must try, as is the breakfast salad — arugula, potatoes, bacon, feta cheese and crispy onions are topped with creamy herbed dressing and poached eggs. White Box Eatery’s freshly baked pastries are the restaurant’s highlight. Fresh doughnuts, chocolate croissants, cheese Danishes and savory scones are a perfect end to the meal — or a tasty grab-and-go snack. $$

SCAN

SOUTH CITY Adam’s Smokehouse 2819 Watson Road, St. Louis, 314-875-9890. You can’t spell barbecue without “cue,” but the lines haven’t formed outside the door at Adam’s

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Smokehouse — yet. The slow-smoking barbecue joint in Clifton Heights opened in October and serves as a sister store to well-renowned, consistently packed restaurants Pappy’s Smokehouse and Bogart’s Smokehouse, so it seems like only matter a time before all of St. Louis stands in line to try a bite. Co-owners Frank Vinciguerra and Mike Ireland spent several years working at Pappy’s with barbecue master Skip Steele before embarking on their own venture. With the blessing of their barbecue brethren, the two put together a small but substantial menu of smoked meats and traditional sides done well. $$ Old Standard 1621 Tower Grove Avenue, St. Louis, 314-8999000. Acclaimed chef Ben Poremba adds to his Botanical Heights restaurant flock with Old Standard Fried Chicken. Located in a converted horse stable, this casual chicken and bourbon shack draws crowds for its sustainably raised fried birds and Southern-style dishes. Poremba’s chicken recipe involves brining the bird, then cooking it in a pressure fryer to lock in the juices and give it a crisp exterior. Fried chicken is the only entrée at Old Standard, but the menu is filled with such downhome snacks as creamy pimento cheese dip, boiled peanut hummus, and sweet and spicy chicken wings. The restaurant’s standout snack, the smoked whitefish croquettes, is like eating a sweet and savory cream puff. Classic side dishes, such as smothered greens, creamed corn and mashed potatoes with chicken gravy, complement the fried chicken, and the bread board, served with housemade butters and jellies, makes for a hearty feast. $$-$$$ The Purple Martin 2800 Shenandoah Ave, St. Louis, 314898-0011. Long-time Fox Park residents Brooke Roseberry and Tony Lagouranis dreamed of creating a neighborhood gathering place. They’ve finally gotten their wish with the Purple Martin. Located in a rehabbed corner storefront, the restaurant is a quaint, casual bistro with Mediterranean and North African fare. Appetizers such as skordalia, a tangy garlic dip, and zeal, a lima-bean-based Berber specialty, serve as zesty starters, while the lamb shank with roasted tomatoes and potatoes is a satisfying entree. Make sure to save room for dessert. The Napoleon, layers of buttery puff pastry, sweet cream and macerated blackberries is a decadent end to a meal. For those who prefer an adult beverage as a nightcap, the Purple Martin boasts a creative cocktail menu. Its namesake drink, a concoction of Fitz’s grape soda, Malibu rum and lime juice, is a sweet and refreshing treat. $-$$ Spare No Rib 2200 Gravois Avenue, St. Louis, 314-2028244. A taqueria-barbecue joint owned by a Tunisian mathematician may seem like a recipe for disaster, but a visit to Spare No Rib erases any doubts. Owner Lassaad Jeliti was inspired to open the Benton Park restaurant after a taste of tacos and barbecue reminded him of North African street food. Jeliti was amazed at the similar spices, sauces and preparations of the seemingly different cuisines, and he wanted to celebrate this at his restaurant. Spare No Rib has a small menu, but it covers all of the taco and barbecue basics. Of the tacos, the cachete is the clear standout. The fresh corn tortilla is stuffed with braised beef cheeks that melt in the mouth. Another must-try is the pork and fennel — chunks of tender grilled pork are served with fennel. The smoky, fall-apart ribs do not need sauce — a spice rub dominated by flavors of cumin and cinnamon gives the meat more than enough flavor. The pulled pork sandwich, another excellent barbecue option, is piled with tender hunks of smoky pork that have been tossed in sweet and spicy barbecue sauce. It’s topped with creamy coleslaw and served on a fantastically flaky bun. Those who can’t decide between tacos and barbecue don’t have to. The SNR platter features tacos and ribs — the best of both worlds. Just like the restaurant. $ Tick Tock Tavern 3459 Magnolia Ave, St. Louis. Thanks to south city entrepreneurs, Tick Tock Tavern received a refreshing revival, opening for the first time since the ‘90s in its original south city space. It maintains its old-school identity with wood-paneled walls decked out in vintage signage, owl paraphernalia and more. The straightforward drink least features a selection of beer, wine and spirits — no-frills cocktails sing to the tune of about five bucks. For a snack, just head next door to Steve’s Hot Dogs for a wiener with the works. Vinnie’s 3208 Ivanhoe, St. Louis, 314-644-7007. When the football Cardinals left St. Louis for Arizona, Matthew “Vinnie” Mulholland was devastated — so much so that he began regularly traveling to Chicago to catch Bears games. While in the Windy City, Mulholland fell in love with its Italian beef sandwiches. After years of fiddling around with recipes in his home kitchen, Mulholland decided to go pro, opening Vinnie’s Italian Beef and Gyros in the Lindenwood Park neighborhood of south city. The mammoth Italian beef sandwiches are built for two — a large loaf of soft bread, fresh from the Hill, is dipped in au jus, piled high with freshly roasted, thinly shaved beef, topped with melted provolone cheese and smothered in housemade giardiniera. It’s a forkrequired, multi-napkin affair fit for a food challenge. Vinnie’s also offers housemade meatballs, Italian sausage and Greek fare, including an excellent beef and lamb gyro. The highlight of the dish is its creamy, garlic-packed tzatziki. On the Greek side, the spinach pita and cheese pita are must-trys. As hard as it may be, make sure to save room for the baklava. Vinnie’s best friend and colleague, George Postos, makes the pinwheel-shaped sweet treat according to his Greek grandma’s recipe. It’s light, flaky and covered in lemon and ginger simple syrup — a perfect end to a fantastic meal. $


Taking Back Sunday & Greek Fire Concert

Cherokee Street’s

Newest Mexican Restaurant!

AUTHENTIC

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2812 CHEROKEE ST 314 • 240 • 5990 CHAPARRITOSSTL.COM

Taking Back Sunday & Greek Fire Concert

Look for the RFT Street Team at the

Your essential local guide just got better.

following featured events this week:

, Fun Food, Happy People Great Drinks!

Grub and Groove 2015

Wednesday, 8.12.15

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What: Parties in the Park Clayton 106 main st. • edwardsville, il 618.307.4830 www.clevelandheath.com

When: 4:30 - 8:30 PM Where: Downtown Clayton Grub and Groove 2015

Friday 8.14.15 What: Music at the Intersection When: 5 - 10 PM Where: Strauss Park Grub and Groove 2015

Saturday 8.15.15 What: Saturday Sessions When: 9:30 AM - 12:30 PM Where: Tower Grove Farmers’ Market

Grub and Groove 2015

Saturday 8.15.15 What: Music Record Store 1yr Anniversary Party When: 1 - 3 PM Where: Music Record Shop in The Grove

For more photos go to the Street Team website at www.riverfronttimes.com. riverfronttimes.com

Grub and Groove 2015

Trombone Shorty Concert Ballpark Village

AUGUST 12-18, 2015

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music

B-Sides 36 Critics’ Picks 40 Concerts 42 Clubs

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Yes We Can ESSENTIAL LISTENING TO PREPARE FOR PROG-ROCK POWERHOUSE YES’ PERFORMANCE AT THE FAMILY ARENA Yes 7 p.m. Wednesday, August 19. Family Arena, 2002 Arena Parkway, St. Charles. $43 to $103. 636-896-4200.

O

n Sunday, August 16, progressive rockers will rejoice as the almighty Yes performs alongside Toto at the Family Arena. Yes fandom is rewarding, but it is also intimidating. The band has tallied 21 studio albums since 1968, most containing listener-intensive, theatrical BY suites that frequently push R YA N the minute counter into the double digits. What follows WAS O BA is not a “greatest hits” playlist, but a series of key selections to ease the burden of understanding the Yes discography. Listen along and enjoy the journey. “Survival” from Yes (1969) No musing about Yes in 2015 is complete without a note of mourning for Chris Squire, who passed away in June. Squire was the band’s most consistent member, and we begin our list with one of his first great basslines. “Survival” is the last track on the first Yes album, launching from a Squire-led riff that would feel at home on a Thin Lizzy record. The track hints at the band’s future ambitions — a swing section via drummer Bill Bruford here, an operatic harmonic shift from vocalist Jon Anderson there — without straying too far from the confines of rock & roll. This will not always be the case. “Starship Trooper” from The Yes Album (1971) For many, The Yes Album is the band’s first great statement, kicking off the most fertile period in Yes’ career. The record was the world’s introduction to guitarist Steve Howe, whose jangling, jazz-steeped style further distanced Yes from its peers. “Starship Trooper” is a linear verse/chorus rock song at heart that isn’t afraid to take drastic turns, as seen in Howe’s acoustic solo around the 3:15 mark. Without “Starship Trooper,” it’s hard to imagine Yes making its way to masterworks “Roundabout” and “Heart of the Sunrise.” “Close to the Edge” from Close to the Edge (1972) With 1971’s Fragile, Yes solidified its most iconic lineup: Anderson, Squire, Bruford,

Yes has a ton of wonderous stories.

Howe and new keyboardist and synthesizer connoisseur Rick Wakeman. Fragile was The Yes Album perfected. Close to the Edge, on the other hand, is a pinnacle of human achievement. Its title track might be the best 18 minutes and 45 seconds in progressive-rock history, from the free-fusion opening to the shockingly funky verses, to a baptismal, trippyas-hell organ movement in the middle, with each thematic return playing like an epiphany. “Close to the Edge” is required listening for anybody even remotely interested in prog rock — and an educational tool for millennials who overuse the word “epic.” “Wonderous Stories” from Going for the One (1977) The period from 1973 to 1976 saw Yes clumsily trying to top Close to the Edge. Song lengths stretched further than the content could sustain on albums Tales from Topographic Oceans and Relayer. The band (now featuring drummer Alan White in place of Bill Bruford) cut the fat on Going for the One, and that conciseness served the band well. “Wondrous Stories” is a fan favorite, a mystical acoustic track that puts Jon Anderson’s clear voice at the forefront and still manages to squeeze in a ripping Steve Howe guitar solo in less than four minutes.

“Machine Messiah” from Drama (1980) Following Going for the One, the number of shifts in Yes’ lineup becomes almost comedic. On 1980’s Drama, Jon Anderson and Rick Wakeman are replaced by Trevor Horn and Geoff Downes (also known as the founding members of “Video Killed the Radio Star” band the Buggles). The result is a move toward a more modern (circa 1980) hard-rock direction, with Steve Howe gritting up his guitar tone and the band embracing pseudo-Sabbath riffs, such as the intro to “Machine Messiah.” “Changes” from 90125 (1983) 90125 will always be known for Yes’ biggest — and least typical — hit song, “Owner of a Lonely Heart.” However, “Changes” is the best representation of this phase in the band’s career, showing how the group used newfangled 1980s technology — samplers, the flexibility of digital recording — as compositional tools. Steve Howe was out at this point, and the super-processed guitar tone of his replacement, Trevor Rabin, might be hard to swallow, but the return of vocalist Jon Anderson makes up for it. “That, That Is” from Keys to Ascension (1996) The thirteen-year gap between songs on this list reflects the audible turmoil in Yes. The band essentially spent a decade fighting between the glossy style of 90125 and the warmer, riverfronttimes.com

more adventurous Fragile era. 1991’s confusing Union went as far as to include two lineups of the band — a modern and a classic incarnation — with each writing half of the album. The 1997 album Keys to Ascension seemed like a slight return to form. Most of the album’s tracks are live recordings of pre-“Owner of a Lonely Heart” songs; perhaps revisiting those tunes influenced the two studio tracks on Ascension, “Be the One” and “That, That Is.” The latter clocks in at nineteen minutes and contains some of Jon Anderson’s best vocal works since Close to the Edge. The virtuosity in the instrumentalists has been scaled back, and for the first time in twenty years, it sounds like Yes is having fun being Yes. Since 1996, Yes has released a handful of albums. None are bad, but none are essential either. Evaluating the band’s discography — and the setlists of its most recent tours — suggests that Yes has an impressive ability to learn from its missteps and come out better for it in the long run. Because of this, we are placing our bets on a Family Arena show leaning on the band’s classic 1970s material. At this point, Yes is in legacy mode, touring to celebrate its past rather than prove any new relevancy. And that is fine by us, because the greatness of songs like “Close to the Edge” and “Starship Troopers” knows no expiration date. ■

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b-sides Liar, Liar WATER LIARS RETURN TO ST. LOUIS, WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

W

ater Liars is what would happen if you took a band from fabled D.C. punk label Dischord, ran it through a whiskey distillery and then forcefed it a steady diet of Americana. That is to say, the group is a sometimesjarring combination of punk ethos and fragile folk, all wrapped around lyrics which are, like the music itself, partly graceful and party brutal. The influence from Dischord is not a coincidence, according to lead singer/ songwriter Justin Kinkel-Schuster, who says all the members of the band grew up on the likes of Fugazi, Minor Threat, Lungfish and “a ton of other stuff from that vintage.” That said, how does one reconcile such disparate influences when writing a record? Kinkel-Schuster makes it seem easy. “It’s usually just that the song comes in the form it needs, and we are sort of drawing from the mental Rolodex of our influences and experiences, and whatever impulses toward originality we may possess to put together the right clothes for the naked song,” he says. “That may be a record for mixing metaphors, right there.”

C O U R T E SY O F C O B R A C A M A N DA P U B L I C I T Y

Water Liars 9 p.m. Wednesday, August 19. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Avenue. $10 to $12. 314-773-3363.

Water Liars got its start with KinkelSchuster, who was in beloved St. Louis folk-punk band Theodore in the mid-2000s. Theodore opened a show for drummer/ backup vocalist/producer Andrew Bryant’s band the Gunshy, and the two immediately connected, which led to a few shows as Water Liars. The name Water Liars is the title of a short story by Barry Hannah full of paranoia, lust, pain and longing, and which ends with the phrase “We were both crucified by the truth.” Inspired, the duo set out to create music to match. Kinkel-Schuster traveled

to Bryant’s hometown in Water Valley, Mississippi, to write some songs. Those efforts coalesced in the gritty, warts-and-all record Phantom Limb, which was recorded in three days with only one microphone. That following year, Water Liars opened for beloved bookish folk-rock band the Mountain Goats at Washington University’s venue, the Gargoyle. “I remember that show,” Kinkel-Schuster recalls. “It was one of the first shows we did after our first record came out. We had done the first tour in March, and then that show was in April.”

HOMESPUN AMERICAN MERLIN It’s All Good americanmerlin.bandcamp.com

D

on’t let the easygoing title or hazy, lo-fi vibes of American Merlin’s It’s All Good fool you. Jimmie Atchley’s one-man project drips with sun-dappled, strummy pop songs, but the evolution of his most recent recordings was one of angst. On the American Merlin Bandcamp page, Atchley includes a rather wrenching explanation behind the new record — travels to both coasts, love and loss, depression and recovery. In it, he grapples with what has long been the weapon of the best pop-smiths: writing sad songs that don’t sound nearly as depressing as their subject matter. And while more than a few of these songs dwell in dark corners, (or, as on “Synonym,” veer into a kind of meta-mopery about singing sad songs), Atchley’s melodic gifts sweeten the delivery. In the same note he mentions “the atmospheric sense about lo-fi music,” an observation that gets at much of the charm of this fifteen-track album. That homemade sensibility shows modest but cleverly used pop smarts that wrap themselves around his open-hearted lyrics. Most songs on It’s All Good center on Atchley’s sweetly yearning voice, which sits in the high-tenor range and can stretch to transmit the emotional pull of his lyrics as needed. “The Way You Want It” 36

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comes early in the program and gives the best impression of Atchley’s gifts. His electric-guitar tone is perfectly cheap and plucky, with a plangent, gently reverberating ring well-suited for his winsome and casual strums. And aside from some ramshackle drumming and background keyboards, he keeps the song, like most here, stripped relatively bare. “Girl So Blue” jams a finger in the reel-to-reel and garbles the tape so that Atchley’s voice is slowed to a drawl, and the laconic guitar, syrupy synth strings and doo-wop harmonies follow suit. As the song goes on, the page slackens so gradually that his voice is pulled like taffy; it’s a good example of his ability to use pleasing, comfortable pop forms and subvert them to match the melancholy mood. When Atchley pushes the rhythm to the forefront, he lets some experimentalism shine through; “Chemical Living” rides glitchy, affected drum tracks, and set closer “The California Cold” rides on punchy beats and ringing bells. It’s a trippy end to a mostly pop-centric affair, but, as the album title rightly suggests, even these diversions are all good. –CHRISTIAN SCHAEFFER Want your CD to be considered for a review in this space? Send music c/o Riverfront Times, Attn: Homespun, 6358 Delmar Boulevard, Suite 200, St. Louis, Missouri, 63130. Email music@riverfronttimes.com for more information.

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Water Liars.

When asked if he was intimidated to be on the same bill with a band whose fan base has such slavish devotion, he says, “I don’t recall feeling intimidated. We’re all just people.” With that experience under their belts, Kinkel-Schuster and Bryant followed up Phantom Limb with an expansive suite of two records: 2013’s Wyoming, which featured Drive-By Truckers bassist Matt Patton, and 2014’s Water Liars, which is the first of the group’s albums to include touring bassist GR Robinson. Each record widened the band’s scope through new instrumentation and sounds. The records became less influenced by punk angst and more by the breezy AM Gold of America and the simmering quiet of Spain — all the while expanding the group’s use of haunting two-part harmonies, which sound effortlessly timeless. No doubt, timelessness is achieved with heart-aching aplomb on the band’s entire body of work — which is growing steadily, according to Kinkel-Schuster. “We’re in the process of finishing postproduction and all of the thousand details that need to come into place for the release of the next record, which we finished tracking in June,” he says. In the meantime, Water Liars will continue touring, including a St. Louis stop this week. “It’s always nice to come back to St. Louis, and particularly Off Broadway, as Steve and the gang over there have been kind and staunch supporters from day one,” he says. “It’s always an honor and a pleasure.” —JASON ROBINSON


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Bowling the way it is now– FUN!

Corn Dog Taste our foot-long corn dog, hand-dipped in our housemade sweet batter

24/7 PeacockLoopDiner.com

6191 Delmar · 314-727-5555 PinUpBowl.com

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6261 Delmar in The Loop

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Delmar Loop wEdnESday 10/14 ON SALE 8/14

Saint Louis

SaTUrday 11/14

SaTUrday 8/22

ON SALE 8/13

TUESday 9/1

ThUrSday 9/3

TUESday 9/8

wEdnESday 9/9

ThUrSday 9/10

friday 9/11

UPCOMING SHOWS

9.12 THUNDERHEAD: THE RUSH EXPERIENCE 9.18 KACEY MUSGRAVES 9.25 WARREN HAYNES 9.27 BEACH HOUSE 9.29 ZZ WARD 9.30 PARADOSIO 10.2 FUNK VOLUME TOUR 2015 W/ HOPSIN 10.6 GHOST 10.7 FATHER JOHN MISTY 10.8 BEN RECTOR 10.12 BRING ME THE HORIZON 10.13 CHANCE THE RAPPER 10.15 FLUX PAVILION

10.16 LETTUCE 10.17 GRACE POTTER 10.19 PASSION PIT 10.21 LYLE LOVETT & JOHN HIATT 10.23 YELAWOLF/MEG MYERS 10.24 DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS

10.28 ANDREW MCMAHON IN THE WILDERNESS / NEW POLITICS 10.30 MAT KEARNEY 10.31 SOMO 11.6 TIMEFLIES 11.8 NEW FOUND GLORY / YELLOWCARD 11.23 GLEN HANSARD 2.28 GARY CLARK JR.

visit us online for complete show information facebook.com/ThePageantSTL

@ThePageantSTL

thepageantstl.tumblr.com

thepageant.com // 6161 delmar blvd. / St. Louis, MO 63112 // 314.726.6161

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H AY L E Y M A D D E N

critics’ picks

8 p.m. Thursday, August 13. The Sheldon Concert Hall, 3648 Washington Avenue. $35 to $38. 314-533-9900. The last time Gillian Welch and David Rawlings came to town was under the banner of the Dave Rawlings Machine, the guitarist’s rotating cast of singers and instrumentalists who help prop up his collection of originals and inspired covers. Last June’s show featured help from former Old Crow Medicine Show member Willie Watson and Led Zeppelin’s John Paul Jones on mandolin — an odd combo that combined for a night of spirited Americana. For Welch and Rawlings’ return to the Sheldon’s stage, her songs will be front and center once again, and Welch’s peerless songbook (and Rawlings’ inimitable guitar work) will no doubt ring out from the intimate, sonically lush venue. Hoping for a Sneak Preview: While Welch’s most recent album, The Harrow & the Harvest, came out in 2011, Rawlings’ second album with his Machine, titled Nashville Obsolete, will be released on September 18. –CHRISTIAN SCHAEFFER

FOO FIGHTERS

–DANIEL HILL RIVERFRONT TIMES

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BAD TASTE 5 p.m. Sunday, August 16. Foam Coffee and Beer, 3359 South Jefferson Avenue. $5. 314-772-2100. What a lineup! Carbondale, Illinois’ Bad Taste plays straightforward punk that brings to mind classic Black Flag records, but with a subtle rock twist to keep things interesting. Joining the group will be Lumpy & the Dumpers (St. Louis’ premier purveyors of slime-covered punk), Shitstorm (local garage-rock highly suitable for ass-shaking and head-nodding) and Cardiac Arrest (St. Louis’ longrunning hardcore band — watch for a sick cover of Poison Idea’s “Just to Get Away”), making for a rock-solid affair sure to leave you sweaty and satisfied. Time Keeps On Slippin’: Frequent attendees of punk shows are well aware of the phenomenon that is “punk time,” which is defined as “when the show starts a full two hours after advertised.” This one is an early show on a tight schedule, though. Arrive on time or miss out. –DANIEL HILL

7 p.m. Wednesday, August 19. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, 14141 Riverport Drive, Maryland Heights. $42.50 to $75. 314-298-9944. You couldn’t stop Dave Grohl even if you tried. The Foo Fighters frontman is ubiquitous: Television, movies, documentaries, guest appearances on other artists’ work, hanging out at your local grocery store, popping out of your cereal box in the morning, hiding under your bed as you sleep — the man is completely inescapable. Those suffering Foo-fatigue probably thought they would be awarded a brief respite when Grohl fell off a stage in Sweden during a concert in June. They thought wrong. Not only did he get back onstage and finish the show with a broken leg, he even went on to continue the tour, commissioning a giant Game of Thrones-style seat from which to perform. Why Fight It? If you can’t beat ‘em — and in the case of Grohl and Co., you most certainly can’t — why not join ‘em? The Foos have an extensive catalog of hits and dependably put on a stellar performance that is well worth your time. 40

Clockwise from the top: Foo Fighters, Gillian Welch and Water Liars.

WAT E R L I A RS 9 p.m. Wednesday, August 19. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Avenue. $10 to $12. 314-773-3363. As much as some may dread the admission, Justin KinkelSchuster, primary songwriter and singer of defunct St. Louis band Theodore, has truly found his voice and vision by leaving this city behind and starting over in the South as one half of Water Liars. Along with drummer Andrew Bryant, and now-bassist GR Robinson, Kinkel-Schuster tempers his literary inclinations (the band is named after a Barry Hannah story) with savage rock rhythms and skewed noises, without losing the lyrical grace or melodic allure that’s always distinguished his music. Water Liars is a true band now, and it’s one of the most potent live trios on the road today. Gone But Not for Good: Though Water Liars makes its home in Oxford, Mississippi, the band regularly returns to St. Louis to pay its respects by tearing the house down. –ROY KASTEN

PA X TO N X

GILLIAN WELCH


FRI 8/14

MARQUISE KNOX FRI 8/21

Shawn Kellerman

THE READY ROOM

SAT 8/15

CARRIE & THE CATAPULTS

SAT 8/22

Big Mike and the Blue City All Stars

every tu/thr

kim massie BOX OFFICE HOURS WED & FRI 12 - 6 / SAT 10 - 4 ALSO SELLING TICKETS FOR FIREBIRD SHOWS 4195 MANCHESTER AVE THEREADYROOM.COM | 314-833-3929

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JUNE 10 | JULY 8 | AUGUST 12 | SEPTEMBER 9

concerts 5:00–8:30 PM | CENTRAL AVE DOWNTOWN CLAYTON

BE OUR FRIEND on ...for tips and special offers from your favorite St. Louis venues! Look for us at RFTS RFTStreet treet .

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THIS JUST IN Laura Rain & the Caesars: Sat., Sept. 5, 10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Andy T. and Nick Nixon Band: Sat., Sept. 26, 10 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. A.J. Gaither: Wed., Sept. 2, 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. America’s Got Talent Live! All-Stars Tour: W/ Taylor Williamson, Emil West, the Kristef Brothers, Recycled Percussion., Sun., Nov. 15, 7 p.m., TBA. Peabody Opera House, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-241-1888. Big George Brock & the Houserockers: Sat., Sept. 12, 10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Big Rich & the Rhythm Renegades: Wed., Sept. 2, 9:30 p.m., $5. Wed., Sept. 9, 7 p.m., $5. Wed., Sept. 16, 7 p.m., $5. Wed., Sept. 23, 9 p.m., $5. Wed., Sept. 30, 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Billy Barnett Band: Thu., Sept. 3, 7 p.m., $5. Thu., Sept. 17, 10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Blind Willie & the Broadway Collective: Mon., Sept. 21, 9 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Bob “Bumblebee” Kamoske: Sat., Sept. 5, 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Bottoms Up Blues Gang: Fri., Sept. 11, 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-4365222. Brent & Company: Wed., Sept. 9, 10 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Brooks Wheelan: Sun., Oct. 18, 8 p.m., $15-$18. Sun., Oct. 18, 8 p.m., $15-$18. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353. Brother Jefferson Duo: Thu., Sept. 10, 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Cadillac Daddies: Fri., Sept. 18, 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Cayetana: W/ the Ruthless, Thu., Sept. 3, 8 p.m., $10. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353. Craig Finn: Thu., Oct. 29, 8 p.m., $15-$17. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505. Dillinger Four: W/ Night Birds, the Brokedowns, Sat., Oct. 3, 9 p.m., $15. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353. Ethan Leinwand & Matt Wilson: Tue., Sept. 15, 7 p.m., $5. Tue., Sept. 29, 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. For Today: W/ Fit For A King, Gideon, Silent Planet, Phinehas, Wed., Oct. 21, 6 p.m., $18-$20. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis. The Freight Shakers: Sun., Sept. 13, 6 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Funk Fest 10 Night 1: W/ the Peoples Key, Fresh Heir,, Big Brother Thunder & the Master Blasters, Naked Rock Fight featuring Dawn Weber, Sat., Sept. 19, 8 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-4365222. Funk Fest 10 Night 2: W/ Torrey Casey & The Southside Hustle,, Good for the Soul, NKT, Brian Curran & Dust Covers, Love Jones “The Band,” Sun., Sept. 20, noon, $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-4365222. Good for the Soul: Sun., Sept. 6, 6 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Hands Like Houses: W/ I The Mighty, Lower Than Atlantis, Brigades, Too Close to Touch, Sun., Nov. 15, 6 p.m., $15$17. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353. Hell Night: W/ Traindodge, ZEBULON PIKE, DayBringer, Fri., Sept. 18, 8 p.m., $8. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353. Jeff Jensen Band: Thu., Sept. 10, 9:30 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Joe Metzka Band: Thu., Sept. 3, 10 p.m., $10. Mon., Sept. 14, 9 p.m., $5. Thu., Sept. 17, 7 p.m., $5. Thu., Sept. 24, 9 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Josh Garrett Band: Sun., Sept. 27, 8 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Kilborn Alley Band: Fri., Sept. 18, 10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Knuckle Puck: W/ Seaway, Sorority Noise, Head North, Mon.,

Motion City Soundtrack will perform on Saturday, November 14 at the Pageant. Oct. 19, 6 p.m., $15. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353. Laura Rain & the Caesars: Sat., Sept. 5, 10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Lil Boosie: Fri., Sept. 11, 8 p.m., $45-$75. Ambassador, 9800 Halls Ferry Road, North St. Louis County, 314-869-9090. Love Jones “The Band”: Sun., Sept. 6, 10 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-4365222. Michael McDonald: Sat., Nov. 28, 8 p.m., $35-$125. The Fox Theatre, 527 N. Grand Blvd., St. Louis, 314-534-1111. Mississippi Fever: Fri., Sept. 4, 10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Modern Baseball: W/ PUP, Jeff Rosenstock, Tiny Moving Parts, Tue., Nov. 24, 7 p.m., $17-$18. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353. A Night of Soul Searching: Mon., Sept. 28, 8 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Patti LaBelle: Sat., Oct. 10, 7 p.m., $42.50-$82.50. Peabody Opera House, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-241-1888. Rocky & the Wranglers: Tue., Sept. 22, 9 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-4365222. Sharkmuffin: W/ Lost Boy, Big Blonde, Sun., Aug. 23, 7 p.m., $8. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353. Small Time Napoleon: Fri., Sept. 25, 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Soul to Song: Wed., Sept. 16, 10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Soulard Blues Band: Fri., Sept. 11, 10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. St. Louis Social Club: Tue., Sept. 1, 9 p.m. Tue., Sept. 8, 9 p.m., $5. Tue., Sept. 15, 9:30 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Taylor Caniff: Sat., Aug. 29, 5 p.m., $20. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353. Third Sight Band: Wed., Sept. 30, 10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Toby Mac: W/ Britt Nicole, Colton Dixon, Hollyn, Sat., Oct. 17, 7 p.m., $20-$80. Family Arena, 2002 Arena Parkway, St Charles, 636-896-4200. Todd Day Waits Pig Pen: Tue., Sept. 29, 9:30 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Tom Byrne & Erika Johnson: Mon., Sept. 7, 8 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Tom Hall: Fri., Sept. 4, 7 p.m., $5. Sat., Sept. 12, 7 p.m., $5. Sat., Sept. 26, 7 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Voo Davis Blues Band: Sun., Sept. 13, 8 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-4365222. The Wonder Years: W/ Motion City Soundtrack, State Champs, You Blew It!, Sat., Nov. 14, 7 p.m., $22.50-$25. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.


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AUGUST 12-18, 2015

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out every night “Out Every Night” is a free listing open to all bars and bands in the St. Louis and Metro East areas. However, we reserve the right to refuse any entry. Listings are to be submitted by mail, fax or e-mail. Deadline is 5 p.m. Monday, ten days before Thursday publication. Please include bar’s name, address with ZIP code, phone number and geographic location; nights and dates of entertainment; and act name. Mail: Riverfront Times, attn: “Clubs,” 6358 Delmar Blvd., Suite 200, St. Louis, MO 63130-4719; fax: 314-754-6416; e-mail: clubs@ riverfronttimes.com. Schedules are not accepted over the phone. Because of last-minute cancellations and changes, please call ahead to verify listings.

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Brent Best: Thu., Aug. 13, 8 p.m., $12-$15. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-773-3363, www.offbroadwaystl.com. Chris Brown: w/ Kid Ink, Omarion, Fetty Wap, Teyana Taylor, Thu., Aug. 13, 7 p.m., $34.50-$125. Scottrade Center, 1401 Clark Ave., St. Louis, 314-241-1888, www.scottradecenter. com. Gillian Welch: Thu., Aug. 13, 8 p.m., $35-$38. The Sheldon, 3648 Washington Blvd., St. Louis, 314-533-9900, www. thesheldon.org. Mike Floss: Thu., Aug. 13, 8 p.m., $10-$12. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, www.thedemostl.com. Sirens & Sailors: Thu., Aug. 13, 6:30 p.m., $10-$12. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050, www.fubarstl.com. Sugaray Rayford Band: Thu., Aug. 13, 9 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-4365222, www.bbsjazzbluessoups.com. Union Electric: w/ Drown Fish, Thu., Aug. 13, 8 p.m., $5. SL Riverfront Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, Times 314772-2100, foamvenue.com/. Viscera Trail: w/ Psychiatric Regurgitation, Devolving Messiah, Thu., Aug. 13, 8 p.m., $10-$12. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050, www.fubarstl.com. The Wandering Trails: Thu., Aug. 13, 8 p.m., free. Cicero’s, 6691 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-862-0009, www. ciceros-stl.com.

F R I DAY Dr. Zhivegas: Fri., Aug. 14, 7 p.m., free. Des Peres Park, 12325 Manchester Road, Des Peres, 314-835-6150, www. desperesmo.org/index.asp?NID=244. Flamingo: w/ Capitol Drive, Even Then, Fri., Aug. 14, 7 p.m., $8. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050, www. fubarstl.com. Floating City Reunion show: Fri., Aug. 14, 8 p.m., $5. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314772-2100, foamvenue.com/. Kevin Blichik Band: Fri., Aug. 14, 7 p.m., free. Plaza 501, 501 S Ferguson Rd, Ferguson. Last to Show First to Go CD Release & Farewell Party: Fri., Aug. 14, 9 p.m., $10. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Avenue, St. Louis. Matt Jordan: w/ Trevor Brooks, Tyler Filmore, Fri., Aug. 14, 8 p.m., $10. Cicero’s, 6691 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314862-0009, www.ciceros-stl.com. Nick Moss Band: Fri., Aug. 14, 8 p.m., $10-$12. 2720 Cherokee Performing Arts Center, 2720 Cherokee St, St. Louis, 314-276-2700, www.2720cherokee.com. Unifiyah Record Release Show: w/ Steve Ewing, Emily Wallace, Patrick Thomson, Fri., Aug. 14, 8 p.m., $15. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505, www.oldrockhouse.com.

S AT U R DAY The 45: w/ Made in Waves, Sat., Aug. 15, 8 p.m., $6-$8. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, www. thereadyroom.com. Authority Zero: Sat., Aug. 15, 8 p.m., $13-$15. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050, www.fubarstl.com. Cop Circles: w/ Friendship Commanders, Bagheera, Sat., Aug. 15, 10 p.m., $5. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100, foamvenue.com/. Earphunk: Sat., Aug. 15, 9 p.m., $10-$12. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505, www.oldrockhouse.com. Honey and Salt: Sat., Aug. 15, 2 p.m., free. Music Record Shop, 4191 Manchester Avenue, St. Louis, 314-272-4607,

www.musicrecordshop.com/. Mt. Thelonious: w/ the Leonas, Tahoma, Sat., Aug. 15, 8 p.m., $10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314773-3363, www.offbroadwaystl.com. Quaere Verum: w/ Nolia, Baring Teeth, Kaliya, Hemorrhaging Elysium, Sat., Aug. 15, 8 p.m., $10. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050, www.fubarstl.com. Saint Asonia: Sat., Aug. 15, 7 p.m., $20-$25. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720, www.popsrocks.com. Sammy Hagar and the Circle: Sat., Aug. 15, 7 p.m., $55. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944, www.livenation.com/ Verizon-Wireless-Amphitheater-St-Louis-tickets-MarylandHeights/venue/49672. Tidal Volume Five-Year Anniversary: w/ Tradewinds, Electric South Side, the Neighborhood Watch, Sat., Aug. 15, 7 p.m., $8-$10. Blueberry Hill, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444, www.blueberryhill.com.

S U N DAY Bad Taste: w/ Lumpy & the Dumpers, Shitstorm, Sun., Aug. 16, 5 p.m., $5. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100, foamvenue.com/. Coordinated Suicides: Sun., Aug. 16, 7 p.m., $5. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100, foamvenue.com/. Polly O’Keary Band: Sun., Aug. 16, 8 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-4365222, www.bbsjazzbluessoups.com. Slipknot: w/ Lamb of God, Bullet for My Valentine, Motionless in White, Sun., Aug. 16, 7 p.m., $30-$70. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., — 8/13/2015 Maryland Heights, 314-298T H IS C O D E TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE 9944, www.livenation.com/ RIVERFRONT TIMES Verizon-Wireless-Amphitheater-St-Louis-tickets-MarylandIPHONE/ANDROID APP Heights/venue/49672. FOR MORE CLUBS OR VISIT Survay Says: w/ Firestarter, riverfronttimes.com Duck Brown, Snooty and the Rat Finks, Sun., Aug. 16, 7 p.m., $10. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, www.thedemostl.com. Whitesnake: w/ Bridge to Grace, Sun., Aug. 16, 7:30 p.m., $33-$60. Family Arena, 2002 Arena Parkway, St Charles, 636-896-4200, www.familyarena.com.

SCAN

M O N DAY Kevin Burke: w/ Moving Pains, Down Swinging, Sunny Side Up, Mon., Aug. 17, 7 p.m., $10. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, www.thedemostl.com. Sarah Clanton: w/ Ellen Cook & Friends, Mon., Aug. 17, 10 p.m., $5. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100, foamvenue.com/.

T U E S DAY Peter Frampton: Tue., Aug. 18, 8 p.m., $49.50-$100. River City Casino & Hotel, 777 River City Casino Blvd., St. Louis, 314-388-7777, www.rivercity.com.

W E D N E S DAY Delmar Records vs. Distant Dreams Music: w/ Indiana Rome, Jay-Rel, T-Dubb O, Legend Camp, JRDAN TAYLR, Dre Harmony & N B’ A, Wed., Aug. 19, 8 p.m., $5. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, www.thereadyroom. com. Foo Fighters: Wed., Aug. 19, $42.50-$75. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944, www.livenation.com/Verizon-Wireless-Amphitheater-St-Louis-tickets-Maryland-Heights/venue/49672. For All I Am: w/ A Promise To Burn, Torn at the Seams, Wed., Aug. 19, 6 p.m., $12. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314289-9050, www.fubarstl.com. Skyler Brussee: Wed., Aug. 19, 6 p.m., Free. Hard Rock Cafe, 1820 Market St., St. Louis, 314-621-7625, www.hardrock. com/cafes/st-louis/. Water Liars: Wed., Aug. 19, 9 p.m., $10-$12. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-773-3363, www.offbroadwaystl.com. Yes: w/ Toto, Wed., Aug. 19, 7 p.m., $43-$103. Family Arena, 2002 Arena Parkway, St Charles, 636-896-4200, www. familyarena.com.


savage love Ballers Hey, Dan: I’ve been reading your column for a while, and you always advise kinky people to go seek the same within the kink community. But in my experience, the kink community is very “sex right away, get to know you later”–oriented. So I have two questions. First, as someone who’s a bit of an old-fashioned romantic, is there somewhere I can go to find sexually compatible people who are willing to let me get to know them before we fuck? And second, it’s very difficult for me to come in vanilla situations, which has caused some awkwardness in the past. BY My fetish is intense CBT (cock and ball torture), it’s pretty DAN specific, and in my (admittedly limited) experience, most guys S AVA G E aren’t very willing to let me inflict that kind of pain. Seeing as I’m probably not going to stop dating people from the general pool (shy 24-year-old cub, not into hookups — I take what I can get), do you have any advice for making conventional sex a little better for me? Horny In SanFran, Bitching About Lacking Love Scene

“Congratulations to HISBALLS for admitting to himself that he has a creative sex drive,” said Donald Roger, the sadistic entrepreneur behind Shotgun Video (shotgunvideo.com), a gay BDSM porn studio that specializes in CBT. “Instead of wasting his time on why-amI-bored-with-this sex, HISBALLS can look forward to a passionate and fascinating sex life.” To say that Roger shares your kink, HISBALLS, is putting it mildly: Just torturing another man’s balls — listening to that man moan and groan — is all it takes to make Roger come. “People say that has to be trick photography,” said Roger, whose “no-hands loads” are featured in Shotgun videos. “But it’s not a trick! Doubters are welcome to purchase our 100th video, which is coming out this week. Loose Cannons features an hour and a half of ball-torture scenes that end in no-hands loads that I shot and no-hands loads shot by bound guys whose balls are being tortured. I think it’s my masterpiece.” I’m going to quickly answer your main question, HISBALLS, and then let Roger give you some advice that might actually be useful: Hardcore kinksters — kinksters who find it difficult to come in vanilla situations — make conventional sex a little better by entertaining fantasies about their kinks. But you know what’s better? Dating guys who share or are open to your kinks. “Finding appropriate partners is harder for seriously kinky men, but it’s a lot easier now than it used to be,” said Roger. “Recon is a worldwide cruising site (recon.com) that caters to alt-sex men. HISBALLS can choose

a profile name for himself (like MuscleCBT — that guy is notorious), he can put up a few pictures, and most importantly he can write out what he’s looking for. He can tell people if he’s a top or a bottom, give some indication of what experience he’s had, focus on what he wants, but also tell people what his no-fly zones are — as in ‘no unsafe sex, no drugs and no Republicans.’” You can also find kinky guys at Manhunt, Adam4Adam and BigMuscle — and you’ll find kinky guys in the general dating pool, too — and you’re not obligated to jump into bed and/or immediately start torturing the cock and balls of someone you’ve just met. “HISBALLS can suggest going to a movie or dinner, or taking in the entire opera season together first,” said Roger, “or go straight to bed if it seems right. He should go at the speed that’s right for him. And he’ll be surprised — or more likely stunned — at just how many romantic, CBT-oriented men there are out there.” A quick programming note about CBT: You can really hurt someone — you can really damage someone — if you attempt CBT without knowing what you’re doing. That’s why Roger produced a series of instructional videos for men who are curious about CBT. Look for videos number 59, 60 and 62 at shotgunvideo. com, a series of lectures/demos. They’re just $10 each. Follow Roger @RogerOfShotgun on Twitter. Hey, Dan: I lost my dad young and I had a bunch of issues growing up. I’m probably gay, I love the idea of light bondage, and I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember. I feel like I’ve been on a self-discovery thing over the past year and have caught tidbits that bothered me. I have depression/anxiety and the old “abandonment complex,” and I’m still insecure about a lot of this. Is it reasonable to blame psychological trauma for my sexuality — the possibly gay thing and the kinks? Troubled Over Yearnings

The inclination to blame your sexuality and kinks on your loss is understandable, TOY, but it’s not reasonable. (Sorry about your dad, kiddo.) Because when you think about it — when you apply reason — you quickly come to this: There are lots of gay men out there who are into bondage who didn’t lose their dads at a young age, who don’t suffer from depression or anxiety, who don’t have abandonment issues and whose childhoods were comparatively issue-free. It’s natural to wonder how you got to be kinky, TOY, but kinks are pretty random and pretty inexplicable. On the Lovecast, Dan and Amanda Marcotte on Planned Parenthood and Republican lunacy: savagelovecast.com. @fakedansavage on Twitter mail@savagelove.net riverfronttimes.com AM ER FR IM E S 451 riverfronttimes.com UO GN UT SH T 1X2X–X - 1 8X, ,22001 0 5X RR I VI V ER FR OO NN T TT IT M ES


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100 Employment 105 Career/Training/Schools THE OCEAN CORP. 10840 Rockley Road, Houston, Texas 77099. Train for a new career. *Underwater Welder. Commercial Diver. *NDT/Weld Inspector. Job Placement Assistance. Financial Aid avail for those who qualify 1.800.321.0298

120 Drivers/Delivery/Courier ! Drivers Needed ASAP ! Requires Class E, B or A License. S Endorsement Helpful. Must be 25 yrs or older. Will Train. ABC/Checker Cab Co CALL NOW 314-725-9550

145 Management/Professional Neurologist (St. Louis). First prof medical degree, 3-year Neurology Residency, MO medical license/eligibility. Full Time, Mon-Fri. Mail Resume to LHauck, 645 Maryville Centre Dr #100, STL MO 63141. No Calls.

155 Medical Research Studies Washington University study seeks women 1449! Available services include birth control, GYN exams, & STI tests. 314-747-0800

185 Miscellaneous Freelance copyeditors sought, proficient in CMoS or APA styles, for broad range of manuscripts. Minimum 1–2 years publishing experience required, as is excellent score on applicant test. Interested? usapplications@amnet-systems.com

190 Business Opportunities Avon Full Time/Part Time, $15 Fee. Call Carla: 314-665-4585 For Appointment or Details Independent Avon Rep. MAKE $1000 Weekly!! Mailing Brochures From Home. Helping home workers since 2001. Genuine Opportunity. No Experience Required. Start Immediately. www. theworkingcorner.com (AAN CAN)

193 Employment Information CDL- A DRIVERS and Owner Operators: $1,000.00 sign on, Company/ Safety Bonuses. Home daily/ weekly. Regional runs. Great Benefits. 1-888-300-9935

500 Services 505 Automotive Services AUTO INSURANCE STARTING AT $25/ MONTH! Call 855-977-9537

525 Legal Services DWI/BANKRUPTCY HOTLINE: R.O.C. LAW , A Debt Relief Agency, Helping People File For Bankruptcy Relief Under the New Bankruptcy Code. 314-843-0220 The choice of a lawyer is an important decision & shouldn’t be based solely upon advertisements.

DWI/Traffic from $50/Personal Injury.

Mark Helfers, 314-862-6666 Choice of a lawyer is an important decision & should not be based solely on advertising

Personal Injury, Workers Comp, DWI, Traffic 314-621-0500

ATTORNEY BRUCE E. HOPSON

The choice of a lawyer is an important decision & should not be based solely on advertising.

530 Misc. Services WANTS TO purchase minerals and other oil & gas interests. Send details to P.O. Box 13557, Denver, Co 80201

537 Adoptions PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/ Indiana (AAN CAN)

400 Buy-Sell-Trade 420 Auto-Truck

BUYING JUNK CARS, TRUCKS & VANS 314-968-6555

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/ Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

800 Health & Wellness 805 Registered Massage

HHHHH Simply Marvelous

Call Cynthia today for your massage. M-F 7-5, Sat. 9-1. 314-265-9625 - Eureka Area #2001007078

HHHHHHH A New Intuitive Massage Call Natalie 314.799.2314 www.artformassage.info CMT/LMT 2003026388

A Wonderfully relaxing intuitive massage by licensed therapist. OPEN SUNDAYS 314-706-4076 2002030286 AmandasMiniDaySpa.com 510 E. Chain of Rocks Rd Granite City, IL.

314-467-0766

$40/hr. Walk Ins Welcome #2001010642 Escape the Stresses of Life with a relaxing Oriental MASSAGE & Reflexology You’ll Come Away Feeling Refreshed & Rejuvenated. Call 314-972-9998

Health Therapy Massage

Relax, Rejuvenate & Refresh!

Flexible Appointments

Monday Thru Sunday (Walk-ins welcome) 320 Brooke’s Drive, 63042 Call Cheryl. 314-895-1616 or 314-258-2860 LET#200101083 Now Hiring...Therapists

Make Every Day Special with a Luxurious Asian Massage at Spa Chi Massage & Day Spa 109 Long Rd Chesterfield MO 636-633-2929 www.spa-chi.com

Ultimate Massage by Summer!!!! Relaxing 1 Hr Full Body Massage. Light Touch, Swedish, Deep Tissue. Daily 10am-5pm South County. 314-620-6386 Ls # 2006003746

810 Health & Wellness General ARE YOU ADDICTED TO PAIN MEDICATIONS OR HEROIN? Suboxone can help. Covered by most insurance. Free & confidential assessments. Outpatient Services. Center Pointe Hospital 314-292-7323 or 800-345-5407 763 S. New Ballas Rd, Ste. 310 VIAGRA 100mg, CIALIS 20mg. 40 Pills + 4 FREE for only $99. #1 Male Enhancement! Discreet Shipping. Save $500. Buy the Blue Pill Now! 1-800-404-1271

600 Music 610 Musicians Services MUSICIANS Do you have a band? We have bookings. Call (314)781-6612 for information Mon-Fri, 10:00-4:30 MUSICIANS AVAILABLE Do you need musicians? A Band? A String Quartet? Call the Musicians Association of St. Louis (314)781-6612, M-F, 10:00-4:30

\610

Musicians Services MUSICIANS Do you have a band? We have bookings. Call (314)781-6612 for information Mon-Fri, 10:00-4:30

MUSICIANS AVAILABLE Do you need musicians? A Band? A String Quartet? Call the Musicians Association of St. Louis (314)781-6612, M-F, 10:00-4:30

Are You Addicted to Pain Are You Addicted to Medications or Heroin? Pain Medications Suboxone Can Help. or•Confidential Heroin? Outpatient •Convenient •Covered by most insurance

OUTPATIENT SERVICES

$45-$50 thousand the 1st year, great benefits, call SMTDS, Financial assistance available if you qualify. Free living quarters. 6 students max per class. 4 wks. 192 hours. • More driving time than any other school in the state •

315 Condos/Townhomes/Duplexes for Rent SOUTH-CITY $700 314-450-7010 2742 Osage: 2BR townhouse, all elec, C/A, hdwd flrs

WESTPORT/LINDBERGH/PAGE $525-$575 314-995-1912 1 mo FREE! 1BR ($525) & 2BR ($575 specials) Clean, safe, quiet. Patio, laundry, great landlord! Nice Area near I-64, 270, 170, 70 or Clayton

www.LiveInTheGrove.com

317 Apartments for Rent DELMAR! $600 314-309-2043 Sharp 2-3 br, central air, finished basement, great hardwoods, thermal windows, all appliances, storage! rs-stl.com RGS21 DOGTOWN! $650 314-309-2043 Nice 2 br, central air, great hardwood floors, fresh paint, all appliances, pets allowed, recent updates! rs-stl.com RGS23 DOWNTOWN

$569-$3000

888-323-6917

THE GENTRY’S LANDING

More than you’d expect for less than you’d imagine. The Best Views in St Louis overlooking the Arch/Riverfront. Spacious studio’s, 1 & 2 bedroom apartments-Fully Furnished Apt’s and short-term leases also available. Rooftop pool, two fitness centers, community room and business center w/WiFi. Penthouse Suites Available. www.gentryslanding.com DOWNTOWN Cityside-Apts 314-231-6806 Bring in ad & application fee waived! Gated prkng, onsite laundry. Controlled access bldgs, pool, fitness, business ctr. Pets welcome NORTH-CITY 1-bedroom-apts 314-921-9191 4008 Garfield $315/mo $415 deposit. 5071 Ruskin $375/mo $475 deposit. Credit Check Required. NORTH-COUNTY $500 (314)606-7868 Senior Community: 2Br, Fridge, Stove, Dishwasher, C/A, W/D Hkup. NORTH-COUNTY! $499 314-309-2043 Roomy 2 br, central air, all appliances, pets ok, fitness room, deck, pool access, flexible deposit! rs-stl.com RGS25 RICHMOND-HEIGHTS $515-$555 (Special) 314-995-1912 1 MONTH FREE! 1BR, all elec off Big Bend, Metrolink, 40, 44, Clayton SKINKER! $450 314-309-2043 All-electric 1 br, all appliances, plush carpet, cold a/c, nice deck, off street parking, recent updates! rs-stl.com RGS22 SOULARD! $625 314-309-2043 Custom 1 br, central air, washer/dyer included, all appliances, pets, off street parking, newly updated! rs-stl.com RGS20 SOUTH CITY $400-$850 314-771-4222 Many different units www.stlrr.com 1-3 BR, no credit no problem SOUTH ST. LOUIS CITY 314-579-1201 or 636-939-3808 1, 2 & 3 BR apts for rent. www.eatonproperties.com. Sec. 8 welcome

320 Houses for Rent HOMES-FOR-RENT 314-546-1069 1202 Sells: 2BR home $700/4153 E. Lexington-Rms for rent $100/wk KINGSHIGHWAY! $695 314-309-2043 Updated 2 bed house, finished basement, central air, hardwood floors, fenced yard, loaded kitchen w/dishwasher & microwave, pets! rs-stl.com RGS3C MARYLAND-HEIGHTS $1100 314-443-4478 1557 Redcoat: All elec. 3 bdrm, 2 bath house. Parkway Schools. NORTH ST. LOUIS COUNTY 314-579-1201 or 636-939-3808 2, 3 & 4BR homes for rent. eatonproperties.com. Sec. 8 welcome NORTH-COUNTY! $525 314-309-2043 Cute 2 bedroom house, central air, family room, single carport, fenced yard kids & pets, all kitchen appliances, low deposit! rs-stl. com RGS3F NORTH-COUNTY! $675 314-309-2043 Roomy 3 bed house, full basement, cold a/c, fenced yard for kids, all kitchen appliances, recent updates, ready now! rs-stl.com RGS3B SOUTH-CITY $790 314-223-8067 2 BR house,some wood floors, stove/fridge, W/D hkup in bsmt, new C/A, garage, porch. No Sec. 8. SOUTH-CITY! $500 314-309-2043 Neat & Clean 1 bedroom house, great fenced yard, nice hardwood floors & custom tile, central air, all kitchen appliances, ready now! rs-stl.com RGS3A SOUTH-CITY! $750 314-309-2043 Remodeled 3 bed, 1.5 bath house, finished basement, hardwoods, central air, fenced yard, fireplace, all appliances, pets ok! rs-stl.com RGS3D SOUTH-COUNTY! $825 314-309-2043 Amazing 3 bed house, full finished basement, garage, hardwood floors, fenced yard, loaded kitchen w/dishwasher, pets, ready now! rs-stl.com RGS3E ST-LOUIS-CITY! $900 314-309-2043 Troop-Sized 5 bedroom, 3 bath house, fenced yard, hardwoods, cold a/c, appliances, almost 3000 sqft, main floor laundry, Must See! rs-stl.com RGS3G

$495 314-707-9975 813-815 Courtois St: 2 BR, hdwd flrs, C/A.

HOMES-FOR-RENT 314-546-1069 1202 Sells: 2BR home $700/4153 E. Lexington-Rms for rent $100/wk

SOUTH-CITY $530 314-481-6443 6429 Gravois- Apt. 2 BR, C/A, Carpet, Draperies. $530 deposit

KINGSHIGHWAY! $695 314-309-2043 Updated 2 bed house, finished basement, central air, hardwood floors, fenced yard, loaded kitchen w/dishwasher & microwave, pets! rs-stl.com RGS3C

SOUTH-CITY

SOUTH-CITY

$435

314-277-0204

1st Mo Rent FREE! 3841 Gustine 1BR; $40 Per Adult App Fee. SOUTH-CITY $450 314-221-9568 Lg 1br apt, all electric 4250 Miami 2 br duplex gas & elec $25 app fee

SOUTH-CITY $475 314-223-8067 Move in Special! Spacious 1BRs, Oak Floors, Ceiling Fans, Stove & Refrigerator, A/C, W/D Hook-Up, Nice area

•Free & confidential assessments Suboxone Can Help.

IF YOU DESIRE TO MAKE MORE MONEY AND NEED A NEW JOB EARNING

UNIVERSITY-CITY! $450 314-309-2043 Charming 1 br, all appliances, cold a/c, w/d hookups, utilities paid, short term lease available! rs-stl.com RGS24

SOUTH-CITY $450 314-776-6429 2504 California. 1BR, C/A, Appliances inc.,Ceiling fans. A Must See!!

SOUTHERN MISSOURI TRUCK DRIVING SCHOOL P.O. Box 545 • Malden, MO 63863 • 1.888.276.3860 • www.smtds.com

ST. JOHN $495-$595 314-423-3106 Special! 1BR.$495 & 2BR.$595. Near 170 & St.Charles Rock Rd

300 Rentals

Outpatient - Confidential - Convenient 763 S. NEW BALLAS RD. STE. 310  Covered byLOUIS, most insurance SAINT MO 63141  Free & confidential assessments

314-292-7323

or SERVICES OUTPATIENT

5000 CEDAR PLAZA PKWY., STE. 380 763SAINT S. NEWLOUIS, BALLASMO RD.,63128 STE. 310 ST LOUIS, MO 63141 314-842-4463 After hours 314-292-7323 or weekends 800-345-5407 or 5000 CEDAR PLAZA PKWY., STE. 380 ST LOUIS, MO 63128 314-842-4463

After hours or weekends: 800-345-5407

SOUTH-CITY $550 314-707-9975 3743 Wisconsin: 1 BR, hardwood flrs, all electric, C/A. SOUTH-CITY $675 314-221-9568 2br duplex, hdwds, central air, private basement, Carondelet area, $25 app fee, no sec 8. SOUTH-CITY 314-504-6797 37XX Chippewa: 3 rms, 1BR. all elec exc. heat. C/A, appls, at bus stop SOUTH-CITY! $385 314-309-2043 Budget 1 br, central air, all appliances, carpet & tile, w/d hookups, basement storage, pets ok! rs-stl.com RGS2Y SOUTH-CITY! $400 314-309-2043 1 br, hardwood floors, frosty a/c, all kitchen appliances, walk-in closets, off street parking, w/d hookups! rs-stl.com RGS2Z ST. CHARLES COUNTY 314-579-1201 or 636-939-3808 1 & 2 BR apts for rent. www.eatonproperties.com. Sec. 8 welcome

riverfronttimes.com

5:00–8:30 PM CENTRAL AVE DOWNTOWN CLAYTON

AUGUST 12-18, 2015

RIVERFRONT TIMES

47


Are You Addicted to Pain Medications or Heroin ?

Suboxone Can Help.

R

314-754-5966

Outpatient • Confidential • Convenient

BUYING JUNK CARS, TRUCKS & VANS 314-968-6555

•Covered by most insurance •Free & confidential assessments

OUTPATIENT SERVICES

763 S. NEW BALLAS RD. STE. 310 SAINT LOUIS, MO 63141

314-292-7323 or

5000 CEDAR PLAZA PKWY., STE. 380 SAINT LOUIS, MO 63128

314-842-4463

After hours or weekends 800-345-5407

DATING MADE EASY... LOCAL SINGLES! Listen & Reply FREE! 314-739-7777 FREE PROMO CODE: 9512 Telemates

DWI/BANKRUPTCY HOTLINE:

R.O.C. LAW , A Debt Relief Agency, Helping People File For Bankruptcy Relief Under the New Bankruptcy Code. 314-843-0220 The choice of a lawyer is an important decision & shouldn’t be based solely upon advertisements.

Are You Addicted to Tuesdays, Aug. 25–Sept. 29 Pain Medications 6pm to 8pm • FREE or Heroin?

Suboxone Can Help. TWILIGHT

TUESDAYS

Museum’s Front Lawn Lindell & DeBaliviere Forest Park mohistory.org

DWI/Traf $50+/Personal Injury- Outpatient - Confidential - Convenient Mark Helfers, 314-862-6666- CRIMINAL former Asst US Attorney, 32 years exp



www.HelfersLaw.com The choice of a lawyer is an important deci sion & should not be based solely on advertising

EarthCircleRecycling.com - 314-664-1450 Earth Circle’s mission is to creatively assist businesses and residents with their recycling efforts while providing the friendliest and most reliable service in the area. Call Today!

GOLD CONSULTANTS NEEDED www.globalgoldbars.com

PAINLESS TATTOO REMOVAL SEE OUR AD ON PAGE 9 OR CALL 866-626-8346

Covered by most insurance FALL 2015 Free & confidential AMEREN assessments

Featuring STL’s best food trucks!

CONCERT SERIES

OUTPATIENT SERVICES MISSOURI HISTORY MUSEUM

763 S. NEW BALLAS RD., STE. 310 ST LOUIS, MO 63141 314-292-7323 or 5000 CEDAR PLAZA PKWY., STE. 380 ST LOUIS, MO 63128 314-842-4463

Personal Injury, Workers Comp, DWI, Traffic 314-621-0500

ATTORNEY BRUCE E. HOPSON

The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertising.

Porn Shop Liquidation XXX-ALL MUST GO-XXX ALL DVDS $5 Selling the Finest in Adult Entertainment for 55 Years. Mon-Sat. 10-6; Closed Wed. BARGAIN DVDS IN ST. CHARLES. 1 MILE SOUTH OF 70. 1877 OLD HWY 94 www.LiveInTheGrove.com DWI/BANKRUPTCY HOTLINE:

R.O.C. LAW , A Debt Relief Agency, Helping People File For Bankruptcy Relief Under the New Bankruptcy Code. 314-843-0220 The choice of a lawyer is an important decision & shouldn’t be based solely upon advertisements.

GOLD CONSULTANTS NEEDED www.globalgoldbars.com

A clinical research study for adults After hours or weekends: 800-345-5407 18-70 yrs old, who suffer from depression.

ARE YOU DEPRESSED? If you’re feeling exhausted and sad and have no interest in things you used to enjoy, if your appetite has changed and you can’t sleep, you may be suffering from depression.

•Full Body Massage •Deep Tissue Massage •Hot Stone •Couples Massage •Swedish Massage •Chinese Accupressure 109 Long Rd. • Chesterfield, MO 63005

636-633-2929

www.spa-chi.com • Open everyday 9:30-9:30

Learn more at www.mac-research.com or call 314-647-1743 to see if you qualify.

Mid-America Clinical Research, LLC 48

RIVERFRONT TIMES

AUGUST 12-18, 2015

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