Chronicles of Don’t Be So Ridiculous Valley

Page 107

“Dot, be a dear and tie me to the helicopter, would you?” “No, no, no!” said Malcolm One. “Leave it to us! Not wishing to be presumptuous, but this is just up our street!” Without a word, the Time Flies took to the air and were soon down the dark shaft and back again, having lifted the missing piece of sluggy flesh right off Moundrot’s shoulder, as he gasped and grunted and cursed. “Here, you are Sir! Your bit of bottom, back again, good as new!” “It’s not my bottom, actually,” said Ergo, with as much dignity as he could muster. “It’s my tail – quite a different piece of the body with a totally different function. But thanks heaps for getting it.” He gratefully took the tail fragment and put it in Elsie’s tea flask (which was, after all, half his now, if they were getting married). Married! Wow! To Elsie – Little Else! She had mentioned it, hadn’t she? A bit forward, mind. But he cared not a tiny little jot about Elsie’s forwardness, without which he would never have dared to even hope she might be, you know... well, well... you know. “Come on, then! Let’s get back to the troops!” said Ergo, regaining his leadership qualities. “What about me?” said Quirkhardt, rather pathetically. Ergo looked at him, for the first time in daylight. He was sitting on the snow, looking very sorry for himself. “Well, you can come, too, but no funny business or else!” said Ergo. There was still a very real danger that Moundrot might be rescued quickly from below by his soldiers, or that the pigfrogs who had pursued them up the stairs might be intelligent enough to work out that they were escaping through the ventilation shaft and go round to try to cut them off. In fact, the more Ergo thought about it, the more it seemed certain that this was about to happen. They resolved to move quickly away from the area, skirt around a small mountain peak and down through a gully which the Time Flies and Elsie had explored from the air and identified as a good route back to the waiting slug army. When they arrived at Sodge’s position they were greeted with loud cheering from the slugs, squirreloids, gnome-adds and trolls who comprised the slug 101