The Liberal, Saturday, June 16, 2012, 6
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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Councillor meetings should be nut free Re: Councillor begins legal action against town, June 14. Really? Some councillors really believe all councillors should be invited to all councillor-planned community meetings? Let’s see if I’ve got this straight. A councillor wants to hold a community meeting because he or she wants to gather input or propose an idea. If development or transit issues may be brought up at that meeting, then all councillors have to be invited. This councillor might be working out a plan, but now has to invite everyone else on council to hear him or her out. This councillor makes all the plans, arranges the venue and may supply refreshments from his budget (preferably his own wallet), but everyone is invited. The others don’t have to do research or pay for refreshments, just come on by and hear what’s going on because it’s common courtesy. Nowhere in the article did it say they would sit quietly in the back either. If it’s a community meeting — discussing the business of the community — then the councillor should make a point of inviting whomever he thinks could help in the conversation with residents, whether it’s another councillor, the mayor
or a town staff member. That makes sense. Give residents the best shot at getting the best information. But because councillors are so worried about who says what about whom, they choose to say it’s not fair for you to have a party without me. It’s like our children’s or grandchildren’s birthdays at school. You can’t bring cupcakes unless you bring cupcakes for the whole class — so no one is upset. Come on, councillors, this isn’t a birthday party, it’s work, but if you’re going to offer cupcakes, let’s make these meetings “nut free”.
BRUCE KURTA RICHMOND HILL
Don’t walk away from job Open letter to Councillor Carmine Perrelli: As a resident of your ward, I am very disappointed by your decision to walk out of a town council meeting. As a taxpayer, I feel strongly that you represent us as we elected you and, regardless of the dispute, you should stay to do your job. There is no reason to walk off the job unless there’s a safety issue. This town needs and elects councillors who should stand and fight, not walk away from the discussions — that never solves anything.
EDWIN GREENFIELD RICHMOND HILL
Realities of life create parenting dilemmas
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arn, my daughter wanted to celebrate her birthday with a party. Don’t get me wrong, I, too, think turning 16 is a
big deal. I, too, wanted to mark the milestone from teeny bopper to blossoming young woman ... with a pretty silver necklace and cake with 16 candles. But for many parents of teenagers, hosting a party means confronting the elephant in the room: Our under-age kids are drinking alcohol. It makes me nostalgic for the days when my biggest dilemma was what to put in the loot bags. I survived my son’s journey to legal drinking age by, admittedly, becoming a hypocrite: I cannot condone your drinking. But I know you’re doing it. So do it responsibly. (Don’t get drunk! Never drink and drive! Never get in a car with someone who has been drinking! Call me no matter what time it is if you need a ride home!) He never hid it from me and we talked about the issue of underage drinking many times. And, bless his heart, he never asked to have a party.
Debora Kelly When my daughter stood before me, blinking big blue eyes, I did what any loving but responsible parent would do. I agreed, with stipulations of no alcohol, a controlled guest list, adult supervision and music off by midnight. “Thanks, Mum!” was her delighted response, fingers flying over her phone’s keyboard before the words were out of my mouth. I was shocked into silence by the lack of bargaining that typically meets any firm stance I attempt. So, I bought plenty of pop and chips and we created a dance floor in the basement family room.
Was I kidding myself? I knew they would be drinking — I didn’t need to wait for the boys to arrive with their bulging knapsacks for confirmation. They actually made no attempt to hide it, but nobody got out of control. They turned the music off at 11:50 p.m., the last stragglers were gone by 12:15 a.m., no damage done, only a floor badly in need of a mop. Was I glad it was over. I’ve known many other parents who have made the same compromise that doesn’t sit well with our sense of right and wrong. Some even choose to provide alcohol to their teenagers, particularly girls, as it’s safer than relying on others. We compromise because we want to be involved in our teens’ lives and keep the doors of communication open. We supervise underage drinking in our homes because we think it’s safer and more controlled. It’s not appropriate justification, it’s just what it is. Bad parenting, some would say. I try hard to be a good parent and law-abiding citizen, so this is tough for me — I have mixed feelings even writ-
ing about it. York Regional Police recently had to remind parents that permitting or providing alcohol to underage teens is illegal, following a spate of massive, out-of-control house parties in Georgina. Police there received 75 complaints May 1 to June 3 about noise, obnoxious behaviour and property damage related to parties attended by 50 to 100 kids. Not only can underage drinkers be fined $130, but knowingly supplying liquor to a person under 19 can come with a summons to court and fines in the thousands of dollars. Parents can only supply liquor to their underage teens in their home or “private place”, as defined by the Liquor Licence Act. Bottom line, adults are responsible for their party guests, even those of legal drinking age, and face charges of criminal negligence if someone gets drunk and is seriously injured after leaving. The day after the party, my daughter said thank you, twice — I think she knows and appreciates how I struggle with this one.