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w.i.h.w.t.m issue #5

skyfall illustration

Baef stew words, design

richard walker

this month skyfall 2 cover film: we look at the new james bond masterpiece

film 8 the master rust & bone

future releases 10 gangster squad, alter egos, the central park five and struck by lightning

parks & rec. 14 new season. new absurdity

rewatch 18 a james bond special

COuntry gun agent woman murder m skyfall


england shot provocateur provocatrix employment bitch done. the third installment of the daniel CRAIG BOND FILMS LEAVES A LASTING IMPRESSION LIKE BEING SHOT IN YOUR LEFT SHOULDER.

skyfall dir - sam mendes star - daniel craig, javier bardem judi dench, ralph fiennes, Naomie harris


sleep with each other on a boat

shoots him then shaves his face in a shaghai hotel

taught him how to use guns as a child

gives her a load of blankets

gives him a gun gets jealous of her in a casino call her ‘that sort of thing’



an old scottish man that bond grew up with. he knows a lot about being a badass and tunnels. in that order.

a lady friend of silva who assists on organised murders and the like.

SKyfall who’s who / story outline




new mi6 agent who gets taken off active service after she shoots bond by mistake.

the kids got skills and can make guns and radios and do crazy things with computers.

becomes his secretary

shoots her in the stomach for laughs

throws a knife in his back

overides his computer system

sells him to the chinese in exchange for 6 agents breaks into her house calls her a bitch

n and sarcasm

tries to kill her

gets shot by one of his men

orders his ‘death’



the names bond. james bond. the oo agent who oozes class and crashes through train carriages with a digger.

computing genius and all round bad guy wants revenge on m but will happily take down bond in the process. tries to force her into retirement



ageing mi6 head, in charge of the whole of mi6. except bond.

An interesting character who later in the film shows his true colours proving he is skilled with a gun. Begs the question what did he do before?


Skyfall, Skyfall, Skyfall. We’ve been waiting for it for what seems a lifetime, in actuality its been 3 years 361 days since Quantam of Solace came out but it has felt like much longer. Sam Mendes had a lot of pressure on his head with Skyfall, a cast like that, Adele on the theme and being part of the Bond franchise everyones expectations were incredibly high. Add on top of that massively mixed reviews from ‘best Bond film of all time’ to ‘underwhelming and needlessly long’ I for one was a little nervous. So come release day I’m there in the cinema with 200 other excited Bond fans (sidebar: Dark Knight Rises cinema fans are better than Bond ones, only two people in tuxedos compared to 30 Batmans) the adverts are on and all of them are product placements from the film and I’m there thinking this is just going to be a sales pitch with Daniel Craig then finally that iconic lion rawrs and here we go. The first thing that strikes you with Skyfall is the soundtrack, it is absolutely fantastic and very well considered. It uses the classic Bond theme very sparingly which makes the times when it is used very momentous and more dramatic. No wonder it was good as it was scored by Thomas Newman who has

just stolen an important hardrive with all the identity’s of agents across the world this is where it gets fun because they chase through the streets and eventually end up fighting on a train then Eve shoots Bond because she is a bad shot. Boom Bond is ‘dead’. Cue titles. The first quarter of the film before we meet Silva focuses on the wreck of a life Bond is living and draw attention to his drinking and prescription drug habits as well as severe emotional troubles. This is what I’ve always liked about the Daniel Craig Bond films, they are not afraid to poke holes in Bond you would never see the old Bonds face up to a drinking problem. It makes the character real. About 30 minutes in we are finally introduced to Raoul Silva. A criminal mastermind with an MI6 background. He is played by Javier

She sent you after me knowing you’re not ready knowing you would likely die worked with Mendes before on the 1999 cult classic American Beauty. The theme song Skyfall by Adele has a classic Bond sound to it not like Jack White’s theme from Quantam. Okay, sorry soundtracks aside. You open to Bond in a hallway chasing a man who has

7* 6

Bardem and his performance is just the best of any Bond villain that came before. He mixes flamboyant gestures with menacing words to make a completely terrifying

This is classic Bond but it has lost the rough edge from Casino Royale and Quantam. Advice: See it in the cinema and pre-order the Blu-Ray.

character. Like with Mads Mikkleson in Casino Royale having Javier was a stroke of genius. Add this to superb acts from Ralph Fiennes and of course Daniel Craig Skyfall becomes a very enjoyable film to watch. Skyfall mixes some old school Bond tricks with the new ones to make a superb film that falls short of Casino Royale levels of perfection. I’m worried the introduction of some old Bond characters namely Q and Moneypenny is a stepping stone back to the Pierce Brosnan days of silly gadgets and bad puns. I think it could’ve been helped by more of an exotic location than Scotland as well. Skyfall leaves me with one question: Where will they take it next?

Mommy was very bad.


rust & bone dir - jacques audiard, star - marion cotillard, matthias schoenaerts

You really couldn’t ask for more from Jacques Audiards latest film. It is beautifully crafted with some of the best acting I’ve seen since Shame. The story follows two characters, Stephanie a whale trainer who loses her legs in an accident and Alain a between jobs guy living with his sister with his son. It explores the unique relationship that comes out of two bad situations. As you would expect from the director of A Prophet the cinematography is superb and I know I’ve banged on a lot about soundtracks this issue but Rust & Bone has one of the finest OSTs I’ve heard for a long time. It combines modern pop tracks used in unfamiliar surroundings to atmospheric obscure remixes of already obscure tracks. The highlight being a Trentmoller remix of the Bruce Springsteen song State Trooper. Rust & Bone combines what Audiard does best in combining atmosphere, interesting unique characters, beautiful camera work and a superb story to create a breathtaking 120 minutes of pain, anguish and soul bearing realism that no other directors could recreate. Not only is Rust & Bone one the best films of the year, it is one of the best films of all time. 8


Audiard does it again with another unmissable film. Advice: See it in the cinema for the soundtrack.

argo dir - Ben affleck, star - bryan cranston, ben affleck

Once again Ben Affleck turns his hands to directing and starring in the same film. Difference being with Argo is, it’s actually pretty decent! Helped by a great supporting cast including the Breaking Bad’s beloved Bryan Cranston. The film is based on a fascinating true story about a group of American embassy workers who get trapped in Iran and the C.I.A must try and get them out before they are found and murdered. Ever since I saw the trailer for Argo some time back I’ve been pretty excited for it an interesting story filmed in a 70s style with Bryan Cranston, it seems to tick a lot of boxes. As you would expect Bryan is the runaway star of the film but that saying that Ben Affleck and John Goodman both put on great performances. The best thing about Argo is the suspense, it kept me on the edge for the whole film. A little too on edge if I must say but all the same very exciting. Affleck has combined a strong screenplay with some top class directing and powerful imagery to make a very enjoyable and re-freshing picture and is a nice contrast to what else is out at the moment.


Suspence galore and lots of Bryan Cranston! Advice: Seeing big screen is amazing but you wouldn’t lose out just buying the Blu-ray.


alter egos Dir Jordon Galland Star Kris Lemche Brooke Nevin Joey Kern Release N/A

IMDB says: At a time when superheroes have lost government funding and public support, a superhero meets a girl who can help him overcome his own emotional crisis. I say: Anything with amateur superheroes in, I’m sold completley on. This looks straight out of the Super and Kick Ass style films except with more morph suits and cheesy superheroe names.

excitement 6/10

struck by lightning Dir Brian Dannelly Star Chris Colfer Rebel Wilson Christina Hendricks Release 12 June ‘13

IMDB says: After being struck and killed by lightning, a young man recounts the way he blackmailed his fellow classmates into contributing to his literary magazine. I say: Turns out someone from Glee can write screenplays. This is written by and starring Chris Colfer a.k.a Kurt from Glee and it looks really interesting because this isn’t just the regular high school film it’s about the literary arts and how a writer can become a badass who black mails.

excitement 5/10 10

the central park five Dir Ken Burns Star Antron McCray Kevin Richardson Kharey Wise Release 23 Nov.

IMDB says: A documentary that examines the 1989 case of five black and Latino teenagers who were convicted of raping a white woman in Central Park. After having spent between 6 and 13 years each in prison, a serial rapist confessed to the crime. I say: A horrific story followed by this documentry, I think it will be very interesting and extremely dark.

excitement 7/10

Gangster squad Dir Ruben Fleischer Star Ryan Gosling Sean Penn Emma Stone Release 11 Jan.‘13

IMDB says: A chronicle of the LAPD’s fight to keep East Coast Mafia types out of Los Angeles in the 1940s and 50s. I say: JUST RELEASE IT ALREADY!!!

excitement 10/10 11


parks and


parks & recreation is back on our screens with a fifth season that so far has seen ron swanson be helpful, andy eat a load of bananas and donna try to put a condom on a pineapple. #unbreakable #blessed #whynosequel? #soccermoms

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When we left Parks and Recreation in season four Leslie had just been appointed Councilwomen Knope after her successful campaign with that winning slogan ‘Knope We Can’. On top of that Ben and April have moved to Washington D.C to assist on another campaign and lastly Andy is trying to be a police officer. I was very anxious about this season because the last one was very strong in both storyline and character so five has a lot to deliver with what appeared to be a much weaker storyline. After the

i’m a total 15

WE first episode I was still a little worried as nothing that excited seemed to be happening and we were just circling round good but old jokes like Ron being grumpy about meat etc. A show like Parks and Rec has the danger of becoming a parody of itself unless it is constantly developing new relationships or elements to all the characters especially with Ron, Tom and Leslie who have very distinct joke styles. However all the characters seem to be bonding with other

WAITED TIL characters that they haven’t interacted with in previous season. For example Chris and Andy are now training together which has made for very interesting viewing because they both so positive surely it must break at some point. The best new found friendship has been between Ben and April as they are now working together in Washington they can only spend time with each other which shifts Aprils attitude towards Ben from room-mate to father figure. Ron Swansons life

MARRIAGE has taken a twist as well with his new found girlfriend. This has been very interesting to watch because we’ve never seen Ron in a healthy relationship before or one where he actually seems to think about the other person. There are also two children involved, two children that Ron has to try and connect with and most importantly not scar for life and to be fair to him he does a damn good job, well for Ron anyway.

AND THEN SOME At the end of episode five we are presented with a couple of developments that I think will make this season very exciting and different to previous seasons. I think serious strain could be put on both Andy and April and Leslie and Bens relationships with the long distance especially as it now seem they will be away for a long time. I am however a little worried characters like Tom, Donna and Ann are going to get pushed aside this season but only time will tell.

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1. Archangel, 3-part Miniseries, 2005

2. Our Friends in the North, 9-part Miniseries, 1996

3. Remington Steele, 5 Seasons, 1982-7

4. The Professionals, Cameo Appearance

5. The Saint, 6 Seasons, 1962-9

6. Adventure Story, 5 Episodes, 1961

7. Chuck, Guest for 6 Episodes, 2010-11

8. Batman of the Future, Voice Guest 3 Episodes, 1999

rewatch This month we’ve done things a little differently. It’s a Bond spectacular. We’ve picked our favorite five Bond films and also rounded up some of the best and some of the weirdest TV performances from all the different Bonds. Enjoy. 1. Archangel, Daniel Craig stars in this very Larsson like mini series based in Soviet Russia. It is very gritty and full of twists and scandal, I fully recommend watching this, it’s exceedingly good. 8* 2. Our Friends in the North, now this is vintage Daniel Craig and is worth your time just to see him with long hair and a weird beard. 6*

9. Live and Let Die, 1973

3. Remington Steele, so Tom Seleck had Magnum P.I Piecre got Remington Steele possibly the cheesiest come incredible show ever made. It’s terrible but great at the same time. 4* 4. The Professionals, there is one episode of the long running mediocre British series where Pierce Brosnan cameos. It’s not that great. 2* 5. The Saint, Roger Moore is brilliant for two reasons: 1. He is super cheesy 2. He is super suave. In The Saint he is both...for six seasons. 5*

10. The Man with the Golden Gun, 1974

6. Adventure Story, I’m not going to lie I couldn’t find this anywhere so I don’t know if it’s any good or not but Sean as some type of Emperor looks good in my world. 7*(I’m guessing) 7. Chuck, Timothy Dalton guest starred for a few episodes and was o.k. 4* 8. Batman of the Future, right how can we make Batman weirder? I know put him in the future in some creepy latex Batsuit. Also George Lazenby guest voice starred for three episodes as a King?! 3* 9. Live and Let Die, this is one of the best Bond films because it is batshit crazy. I mean there’s voodoo and everything. 7*

11. The Living Daylights, 1987

10. The Man with the Golden Gun, the producers of Battle Royale blatantly stole the their film from this one. People on an island dueling? COME ON! 6* 11. The Living Daylights, this is one of the most underrated Bond films but it is classic Bond. He sleeps with a couple of people and then drives over some peoples lunch with his Aston Martin. 7* 12. Goldeneye, drives through a landmark in a tank, then adjusts tie. Classic Bond or what! 8* 12. Goldeneye, 1995


casino royale 2006 dir - martin campbell bond - daniel craig co-star - eva green judi dench, mads mikkelsen

9* 20

Bond: She’s not my type. Vesper: Smart? Bond: Single. Oh James you.

I know a lot of people do not think Daniel Craig makes a good Bond, they say he’s too harsh and lacks the suaveness that Bonds like Pierce Brosnan and Roger Moore had but I think that lacking those qualities make him the best Bond. In Casino Royale Craig makes a very bold and un-appologetic entrance as Bond that immediately put him ahead of Moore, Connery, Brosnan and Dalton. The film opens on Bond in a room awaiting a man to arrive, Bond is there to kill him. When he arrives he gives Bond a bit of lip and Bond responds to this by shooting him. Queue theme song. What I love about the opening to this film is how it is so unexplanetary, you don’t know why he’s there but it’s like well he’s here deal with it and also how they exhibit a high level of violence immediately which sets it instantly apart from all previous Bond films. From then on in you get a tale of epic proportions spanning across

w.i.h.w.t.m drinks club the vesper 1. Get a crystal cut martini glass and a shaker James Bond is a man of many talents wether it be getting poisoned then 20 minutes later winning millions of dollars or inventing cocktails and naming them after betraying bitches, he is your guy. His creation from Casino Royale, The Vesper, is great to enjoy over a game of poker, casual medival torture or just after a peaceful swim in the canals of Venice.

2. add three measures of gordons to shaker

different countries eventually ending up with Bond in a casino with a C.I.A agent, a banker to the worlds super-criminals and a handful of other wealthy people for a winner takes all poker match. The banker to the worlds super-criminals is a character called Le Chiffre played by Mads Mikkleson, arguably one of best performances from a villain in any Bond film. Between him and Craig they make Casino Royale without them the story would still be incredible but it would not have the insanely dark feel to it. I would say he is best Bond villain of all time but I’m afraid Javier Bardem has stolen that position from him. At the second longest Bond film after Skyfall, Casino Royale takes its time to develop the deep and complex story with the end result making you feel you have watched two very well made films. The only vintage Bond that can rival Casino in terms of grandeur and epic adventure is Live and Let

Die with its ridiculously insane story and even weirder characters. A lot of people are calling Skyfall the best Bond film of all time but I think they have it wrong, Casino Royale is flawless start to finish. It could be a stand alone film which basically all the other Bonds couldn’t be. It proves itself by taking extreme risks unlike the majority of it’s predecessors which means it isn’t reliant on old Bond tricks like fancy gadgets, bad puns and Martini’s. A combination of superb direction and brave performances from the cast make this the time great Bond film that will continue stand the test of time.

3. then add one measure of an extremely high quality vodka 4. followed by half a measure of kina lillet 5. add plenty of ice and shake 6. finally pour carefully into a glass and add a thin slice of lemon peel. enjoy

w. h.w.t.m what i have watched this month ISSUE #5 Skyfall

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#5 What I Have Watched This Month