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with Mike Howe Tonight on Chewing the Cud: gay marriage!

Last year a federal judge in California ruled that a ban on it is unconstitutional.

More recently, another federal ...and never judge upheld THAT mind the irony judge’s ruling because that with anarchy, opponents to the ruling there would be no big claimed that the ruling government to Now, shouldn’t count, given define “marriage” former NFL that the first anyway. star David Tyree judge was claims that anarchy gay. will come to America if gay marriage is legalized —even though it’s already legal in five states as well as Washington, D.C.


Tonight on Chewing the Cud, we’re going to debate gay marriage with the leader of an anti-gay group that wants homosexuality banned outright and all gays and lesbians sent to concentration camps, similar to Nazi Germany!

But before we get to our guest, let’s take a trip to the trough!


Last year, California’s ban on gay marriage was ruled unconstitutional because the law singled out one specific group and also pushed the idea that straight couples are “better” than gay couples.

AT THE TROUGH

Marriage, as an institution, came into existence long before the United States and the U.S. Constitution is silent on marriage.

The proposed ban, which is based on religious zealotry and authoritarianism, is a bit ironic in that its supporters— conservatives—claim to want smaller government while actually supporting bigger, intrusive government. They The really do want the Constitution, government to be as big however, isn’t silent as what liberals on discrimination, and want. as such any laws against The gay marriage by law are nanny state unconstitutional. is officially desired by both ideologies.


Now to tonight’s guest.

Bobby Ray Hatfield is president of the group Fear the Queer, which calls for an outright ban of homosexuality and demands that all gays be imprisoned and given a Mr. minimum life sentence. Hatfield, BUT IT WAS DECIDED BY VOTERS THAT HISTORY IS WHATEVER YOU WANT IT TO BE ★HOWE T what say you? Okay then.

Mr. Hatfield, what’s your take on these court rulings and David Tyree’s recent comments?

Mike, I hate activist judges and I really hate BEEP!

V★ BOOK NEWS: BOOK ON FIRST FOUR YEARS OF BARACK OBAMAʼS PRESIDENCY TO BE RE


Mr. Hatfield, just to let you know, we beep out any profanity on this show.

Well BEEP you, Mike!

LEASED NEXT SUMMER...BOOK IS ENTITLED “LET ME BE CLEAR” AND IS 500 PAGES LONG, AL So anyway...

Mr. Hatfield, tell our viewers why gay marriage should be illegal.

Mike, God made Adam & eve - not Adam & Steve!

L OF WHICH ARE BLANK ★HOWE TV★ SUPPORTERS OF CONGRESSMAN ANTHONY WEINER S


God didn’t make Steve?!

Huh? Oh...um...uh...well...I guess...sorta.

But sometimes God makes mistakes.

AY THAT HE SHOULD REMAIN IN OFFICE...THEY SAY THAT NO DEMOCRAT HAS EVER HAD ETHI

God makes mistakes?! Since when?!

Uh...um...uh...Mike, stop questioning God! Are you a commie?!

CS IN THE PAST SO WHY SHOULD ANYONE EXPECT ETHICS NOW? ★HOWE TV★ NEW HISTORY


I’m the capitalist owner of Howe TV.

And I’m questioning you - not God!

Whatever, Commie.

TEXTBOOK TO BE PUBLISHED CALLED “THE SARAH PALIN SIGNATURE EDITION”...BOOK SAYS

Let’s get back to your previous comment.

Isn’t God perfect?

Of course he is. He created everything!

THAT CHINA, JAPAN, FRANCE, AND GERMANY BOMBED THE ALAMO AT PEARL HARBOR IN 186


Including humans...

...some of whom are gay?

Oh. Right. Um...

...Mike, why do you like BEEP so much?!

1 TO SIGNAL THE START OF THE CIVIL WAR...BOOK CLAIMS THAT THE ALAMO WAS DEFENDED Again, Mr. Hatfield, we beep out the obscenity.

That’s censorship!

You’s violatin’ my first commandment rights! BY JOHN WAYNE, CLINT EASTWOOD, PAUL BUNYAN, AND PETER PAN...PUBLISHER SAYS ITʼS T


You mean ‘amendment’ - not ‘commandment.’

and only the government can violate your first amendment rights.

BEEP you, commie!

HE “MOST PATRIOTIC” HISTORY BOOK TO DATE...CONSERVATIVES SAY IT ISNʼT PATRIOTIC EN Let’s get back to the issue.

Mike, these BEEP is choosin’ to be gay and do perverted things!

OUGH BECAUSE IT DOESNʼT REFER TO SEN. JOE MCCARTHY AS A “SUPERHERO” ★HOWE TV


Like the way I chose to have bad eyesight or the way you chose to have a hairy chest?

Exactly. Er...Wait. I mean...

Why are you lookin’ at my chest? Are you a

BEEP, too?! ★ GROUP OF SARAH PALIN SUPPORTERS DEMANDS THAT ALL PALIN CRITICS BE FORCED TO

Either God created us or he didn’t. Which is it?

He did create us, but genesis 6:6 says that God wasn’t happy after he made humans.

TAKE DRUG TESTS...PALIN CRITICS AGREE TO THE DRUG TESTS PROVIDED THAT PALIN SUPP


But Genesis 1:31 says that god was happy with everything that he made.

It does? Well...it was probably a typo.

ORTERS TAKE I.Q. TESTS...THE PALIN SUPPORTERS THEN WITHDREW THEIR DEMANDS ★HOW A typo? In the bible?!

Sometimes even god makes mistakes. he probably got tired.

Exodus 31:17 says that even god got tired and needed a rest.

E TV★ SPORTS: SOCCER IS NAMED THE “WORLDʼS PERFECT SOCIALIST SPORT” BY A SOUTH


But Isaiah 40:28 says that god never needs to rest!

Just another typo, Mike! See how hard god was workin’?

AMERICAN SPORTS MAGAZINE...THEY SAY IT “EPITOMIZES SOCIALISM BECAUSE YOU WORK V

Do you suppose the verse in first Corinthians about gays not inheriting the kingdom of God was a typo?

BEEP no, Mike!

The Bible has no typos!

ERY HARD AND ACCOMPLISH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING” ★HOWE TV★ FRINGE LIBERAL GROUP


Gotcha. Let’s discuss the legality of a ban.

Mike, it ain’t worth discussin’!

this is a separation of powers issue. No federal judge can rule on it because it’s a state issue. The people have spoken!

ASKS ITS MEMBERS TO REFER TO THEIR RIGHT HANDS AS THEIR “OTHER LEFT” FROM NOW O

But what if one state voted in favor of it by a majority?

Tough BEEP, Mike. That shouldn’t count.

N TO PROVE THAT THEREʼS NEVER ANYTHING “RIGHT” WITH THEM ★HOWE TV★ SARAH PALI


Wait a minute. Why not?

Um...Because I said so?

N SUPPORTERS ARE HAPPY TO HEAR THAT SHE AND DAUGHTER BRISTOL HAVE TRADEMARK Are you serious?

Are you a liberal commie who likes BEEP?

Mike, judges should have no say on this! Only the voters!

ED THEIR NAMES FOR COMMERCIAL USE...SUPPORTERS THINK THAT THIS MEANS PALIN WILL


But that’s part of our constitution! It’s the judicial branch of the government!

branches? What do trees have to do with this?

BE PAID WHENEVER HER NAME APPEARS IN A NEWS STORY OR IF A BABY IS NAMED “SARAH”

Haven’t you heard of the three branches? Executive, judicial, and legislative?!

Sounds like a pile of liberal commie crap from the mainstream media!

...WHEN TOLD THAT IT DOESNʼT APPLY TO FIRST AMENDMENT INSTANCES, PALINʼS SUPPORTE


It was created by the founding fathers.

Yeah, well just wait until the supreme court rules on it!

they won’t care about that judicial branch crap!

RS THOUGHT THAT PALIN “OWNED” THE CONSTITUTION AND WAS OWED RENT WHENEVER AN But They are the judicial branch!

Whatever, commie.

AMERICAN CITIZEN WANTED TO “USE” IT ★HOWE TV★ IN AN EFFORT TO SHOW HOW TRANSP


Mr. Hatfield, what if the majority of voters in a state voted against the second amendment?

They can’t vote against the Constitution! We’d get a judge to overturn the vote!

ARENT HIS ADMINISTRATION IS, PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA ORDERS THE WHITE HOUSE WIN

But You just said that the voters are more important than the constitution!

Mike, stop using my words against me!

Now I know how Newt Gingrich and Sarah Palin feel!

DOWS BRICKED UP AND ALL THE DOORS LOCKED TIGHT ★HOWE TV★ POLL: AMERICANS SAY


So it’s okay to violate the constitution to discriminate against people?

Mike, they wouldn’t be picked on if they just acted normal!

THAT THEY WANT LOWER TAXES AND MORE GOVERNMENT SERVICES...WHEN ASKED HOW TH

I must have forgotten.

That happens when you’re a liberal commie mainstream media TV host!

Mike, there’s probably gayness in your coffee, too! EY WOULD GET BOTH, RESPONDENTS SAID THAT THEY ARE ENTITLED TO EVERYTHING THEY


Gayness in my coffee?!

Mike, first they took our slaves, then they let women vote, and now this!

What has my country become?!

WANT SIMPLY BECAUSE THEYʼRE AMERICAN ★HOWE TV★ SARAH PALIN TO RE-RELEASE HE

Oh dear god.

Let’s end with the big government question: Why do you want more government laws that make the government even bigger?

Mike, this ain’t big government! It’s good government! If the government is good, they should always tell us what to do!

R BOOK “GOING ROGUE” AS A COLORING BOOK FOR FANS WHO STUMBLED OVER BIG WORD


Okay, mr. hatfield. We’re running low on both time and I.Q. points. good night.

Have a nice career, you liberal commie pervert!

S LIKE “MOOSE” AND “GRIZZLY” ★HOWE TV★ BILL CLINTON TO RE-RELEASE BOOK “MY LIFE Tune in tomorrow night when we chew the cud with a liberal economist whose solution to the current recession is to plant money trees.

Only on Chewing the Cud. I’m Mike Howe. Good night.


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Chewing the Cud with Mike Howe - Gay Marriage  

Take a satirical look at serious cultural issues with Mike Howe, a fictional TV host who tries to offer substance in a superficial world. On...