RFD Issue 53 Winter 1987 by RFD Magazine Gay

COUNTRY

JOURNAL

FOR

GAY

MEN

EVERYWHERE

With snow on the ground and more promised, we are getting into the win ter spirit as we put the finishing touches on this issue. Although not as large as the last, I feel that this issue has some unusual (what else is new?) treats to read. The feature explores far-away gaydom, and we have been blessed with an extensive evening with composer Lou Harrison and his long time companion, William Colvig. This interview is perfect for a long winter's night, and it ranges over a wide variety of topics. So, there is substance if not as much bulk. A couple of departments are not included in this issue, but that is only temporary as editors move and get adjusted to our schedule. RFD did carry its banner in the October March. We marched right before the Radical Faerie banner with the shawl in front. I must say that it was an exuberant occasion in spite of the anger and sadness. The bottom line seems to be that we just can't help enjoying ourselves when we get together— congregating is vital to our spirits. Aside from the numbers, the speeches (glad to have Jesse Jackson speak), the cheers, the chants, the tears (especially moving was the AIDS Quilt), I was personally en couraged to witness the formation of the Lesbian and Gay Congress. Ray Hill of Houston deserves special thanks for facilitating this difficult but important birth. I now feel that we have accomplished something with the March besides just lifting our spirits for a couple of days. The Supreme Court demonstration was another important achievement. I believe that the more we take ourselves seriously, the more others will. On the home front, there are a number of changes in the RFD family. We have combined a few departments, added some new volunteer editors (wel come!) and said farewell to some friends. AIDS has claimed Ron Cohen (Sundance) of San Francisco. Accordi nq to the Beiy Area Reporter,, an ambulance crew refused to take him to the hospi taT claiming he was fa king his symptoms. The crew was acquitted of any wrongdoing, but we lost Sundance. We also lost George Jalbert (Chenille) and Candor Smoothstone (Kenneth Allison). Candor was also known as Martin Xero when he worked with the Theatre Rhinoceros in San Francisco. Toqether with Carl Wittman, this represents three Important pioneers of RFD passing from among us. The genocide continues while this administration fiddles and lies. During the NBC candidates debate on December 1, I was somewhat encour aged to hear all of the Democratic candidates speak directly to the im portant issues surrounding AIDS, with Jesse Jackson being the only can didate to mention gays and the March. We must strengthen our resolve to survive not only as individuals but as a culture and a people. Speaking of surviving, we have found that we have to raise the price for the journal to continue. We have operated on a shoestring budget for quite some time, and after a couple of big (and expensive) issues, we have fallen behind in our cash flow. We have to make that up and begin to be more realistic about compensation for people working on the jour nal. We may also be facing a need for separate space at Running Water (or possibly even elsewhere). We are stumbling over each other in this tiny cabin, and as Running Water begins to develop its retreat program the need for RFD to have its own space is becoming increasingly ap parent. One thought 'is to build a separate cabin, but that would take a minimum of $10,000, which seems impossible right now. Nonetheless, I am putting it out because I know how magic works. My work with the environmental organization is taking more and more of my time and energy. Between nuclear waste, National Forest MisManagement, hazardous waste, solid waste and regional planning, we have our hands full. I am also continuing to pursue my musical interests, all of which leaves less time for RFD and Running Water, but we have capable people taking up the slack and turning the wheels. So, it continues, and life goes on with all its myriad changes and permutations.

RFD is a reader-written jour nal for gay men which focuses on country living and en courages alternative life styles. Articles often ex plore the building of a sense of community, radical faerie consciousness, the caring for the environment, as well as sharing gay men's experiences. Editorship responsibility is shared between the Department Editors and the Managing Edi tor. The business and general production is centered at Run ning Water in western North Carolina. Features are often prepared in various places by different groups. RFD is published quarterly on the equinoxes and solstices at Running Water, Rt. 1 Box 127E, Bakersville, NC 28705. One year's subscription is 515.00 by second class mail, 522.00 for first class mail. Foreign subs (including Canada) are $17.00/year. ISSN #0149-709X USPS #073-010-00 Non-profit tax exempt status under #23-7190134 as a func tion of Gay Community Social Services, Seattle, Washington. MEMBER: CCLM (Coordinating Council of Literary Magazines C0SMEP (The International Assoc, of Independent Publ 1shers) GLPA (Gay/Lesbian Press Assoc •) IGLA (Int'l Gay & Lesbian Assoc.) INDEXED by Alternative Press Media P.0. Box 33109 Baltimore, MD 21218 MICROFILMED by Alternative Med ia P.0. Box 1347 Ansonia Station New York, NY 10023

GAY

PRESS A S S O C IA T IO N

A SUMMER DAYDREAM FOR THOSE GRAY WINTER DAYS

photo by Dan Mason

CONTRIBUTORS Dirg Aaab-Richards.............14 Franklin Abbott................12 A1 ladres....................24-27 Shelley Anderson...............38 Alan Atkinson..................27 Don Austin.................... 48 Ra 1ph Berl in.................. 45 Retsy......................... 44 Hakim Bey......................68 Big Stone......................11 Bill of Southern Illinois..... 34 Woody Black.............. .20 Terry Boughner.................18 Drew Brownson................. 48 larry d. burk..................25 Winter 0. Calvert..............27 C h r i s t o f e ......................42 Daniel Cima....................12 A1 Cindor......................13 Paul Clements...............54,55 Louis A. Colantuono............21 Will iam Col vig.................56 Leo J. Cooper..................25 Joseph Costa...................34 Bru Dye........................ 19 Lin L. Elliott..............21,32 Michael J. Emery...............26 Don Fngstrom................30,31 Sharon Farmer..................13 Steven F1nch......... 25,26,37 ,40 Bob Fish....................... 24 Edward Frey....................36 Gary Gilman....................24 Kevin Girard................... 16 Charles E. Hall................22 Patrick Hammer.................26 Gary Hampson................... 28 Craig G. Harris................14 Lou Harrison................... 56 Michael Hathaway...............24 Charles Haver..... ............ 17 Essex Hemphi 11.................15 Alan Howard.................... 27 Martin Humphries............... 12 Isaac Jackson..................13 Steve Kendall.... ............. 52 Bruce La Bruce.... ...........39 Light.......................... 52 Beckett Logan..................13 Glen Martin....................25 Kel ly Masek................... .40 Dan Mason.................. 1 Michael Mason..................15 Buddy May...................... 51 Stuart Norman...............17,56 Richard Qloizia................23 Jacob Rabinowitz...............68 Roger Rogers................... 70 Billy Russo....................42 Raphael Sabatini........... 22,23 Assotto Saint............... 12,25 Philip Smith............... .54,55 Winthrop Smith.................27 Ian Stir! ing... ..... 4° Herman Strumpf................. 1° Walden.......................... 2 Kenn Wal1er-?anghi............TBC L. E. Wilson...................26

A COUNTRY JOURNAL FOR GAY MEN EVERYWHERE vol. XIV no. 2 #53 WINTER 1 9 8 7 / 8

Reaching Far-away Darlings

ARTICLES

Awaken Guilt

52 52

Light Light

Conquering AIDS Now (Gregory and Leonardo) First Love/Last Love (Denneny) Healing AIDS Naturally (Radgley) New Men, New Minds (Abbott) Psychoimmunity (Serinus) Semiotext(e) USA Significant Others (Maupin) Surprising Myself (Bram) The Vampire Lestat (Rice)

BROTHERS BEHIND BARS

22 23 22 21 22 21 20 23 20

Charles E. Hall Raphael Sabatini Charles E. Hall Lin L. Elliott Charles E. Hall Louis A. CoTantuono Raphael Sabatini Richard Oloizia Woody Black

Resources for Gay Prisoners Southern Prisons

70 70

Roger Rogers

American Peace Marcher Tells of Soviet Trek Blue Animals for Thoreau Gay Life in France 1816-1886 Gay Men's Week - Laurieston Hall, 1987 Guam Hello from Kenya Interlude in Rome Japan: A Personal View Letter from Amsterdam Letter from Ljubljana Mew Zealand Poles Launch Gay Rights Group Prejudice Searching for Sisters in the U.S.S.R. Tokyo Two-Way West African Presence

42 40 47 49 40 44 42 36 38 35 48 46 39 40 37 45

Billy Russo Steven Finch Richard Burton Ian Stir!ing Don Austin Betsy Christofe Edward Frey Shelley Anderson Suzana Tratnik Drew Rrownson

Carbon Copy Charlie Murphy electric fire Epi taph The Family Jewels For A11 My Mothers The Hardening of Soft. Men Tongues Untied

12 15 13 12 15 14 14 12

Assotto Saint Michael Mason Isaac Jackson Assotto Saint Essex Hemphill Dirg Aaab-Richards Craig G. Harris Frank!in Abbott

The Canary Sings

28 68 68

Gary Hampson

B O O K REVIEWS

CO U N TR Y KITCHEN FEATURE

MANAGING EDITOR: OFFICE MANAGER: ART DIRECTOR: ASSISTANT:

Ron Lambe Big Stone Dwight Dunaway (aka Light) Charles Simpson

VOLUNTEER DEPARTMENT EDITORS: ARTICLES/ESSAYS: Richard Chumley, MA BOOK REVIEWS: Kenn Waller-Zanqhi, TX BROS. BEHIND RARS: Len Richardson, OR COUNTRY KITCHEN: Ruddy May, NC FAERY COMMUNITY: Len L. Elliott, AZ FARM AND GARDEN: Scott Luscombe, NY FEY ARTS: Franklin Abbott, GA FICTION: Randy Conner, CA GAY HISTORY: Charles Simpson, MA HEALTH: Pat Browder, NC POETRY: Steven Riel, MA POLITICS: Stuart Norman, CA PROFILES: Warren Potas, DC

FEY A R T S

HEALTH HUMOR

The Search for Sodom and Gomorrah

INTERVIEWS

Layout: Typing:

Dwight Dunaway Charles Simpson

Front cover photograph by Daniel Cima Song on back cover by Peter Soderberg FEATURE: This issue's feature on international gay life ("Reaching Far-away Darlings") was prepared by Rig Stone

51 35

Rruce La Rruce Kelly Masek Steven Finch Ralph Rerlin

Rabinowitz and Bey

POETRY

Stuart Norman

Arabian Horse Bonsai Roys at Night The Diving Pool Frozen Vegetables the mad housesitter has a good day Mapping Us on the sabboath Portrait of... redwood city Shy Perch Tim (untitled) (untitled) When the Faeries Hiss

25 26 27 25 27 24 26 25 26 27 25 24 25 26 24

Assotto Saint Steven Finch Alan Howard Leo J. Cooper Winthrop Smith Michael Hathaway Michael J. Emery larry d. burk Patrick Hammer Winter 0. Calvert Glen Martin Gary Gilman Steven Finch L. E. Wilson Bob Fish

Discretion The March on Washington No AIDS Test

18 17 19

Terry Boughner Stuart Norman Bru Dye

Cays, Christians, and Loneliness A Season of Ouiet Change Polytheism as a Way of Being

34 30 34

Bill Don Engstrom Lin L. Elliot

Lou Harrison and William Colvig PRODUCTION:

POLITICS

SPIRITUALITY

tgnorance V ear Ron,

Veaa P eo p le, . . . Issu e *52 was i n c r e d i b l e ! Ami th r e e a r t i c l e * a lo n e a r e w orth the pur ch a se p r ic e - n ot t o m ention rev iew s, l e t t e r s , the news (I LOVE the "Mother W ill Have Her Vue" s t o r ie d - "Revenge o f th e m ole*" fo r in s t a n c e ] ; and, a* aiw ay a , th e o b vious g en iu s o f c o lla b o r a t io n and in d iv id u a li t y in the c o n ten ts of any g i v e n issue, clear layout and good c a llig r a p h y , c le a n co p y , and 1 have y e t to fin d a s in g le ty p o ! REV i* the on ly p u b lic a t io n I rea d t h r e e or fo u r tim es w ith in a w eek o f i t * a r r i v a t . Thank you !! B le s s in g * -

"Gay as a Goose" under "Fauna" in t h e summer i s s u e o f RFV made me th in k t h a t you m ight t i k e t o r e f e r any i n t e r e s t e d r e a d e r s to French n o v e l i s t Andre G id e's fa s c in a t in g and e x t e n s iv e tr e a tm e n t o f homo s e x u a l it y in n atu re (th e an im als] in h i* book Corydon, w hich i s a v a i l a b l e in an e x c e l l e n t E n g lish t r a n s la t io n . Your " I n s id e S toru" w o rr ies me. V on't e v e r u n d ere stim a te t h e im por tan ce o f RFV in th e s e changing and tru in g t im e s . Nobody can do e v e r y thin g he would l i k e t o , nor e v e r y thing he th in k s ou g h t to b e don e. Vour work w ith RFP i s s i g n i f i c a n t and u n e q u a lle d . For t h e l o v e o f us a l l , p le a s e , sta y th e cou rse. Love and p e a c e , N. L. Broun, C a lifo r n ia

T asch e, Oregon

O P ear Ron, Thank you fo r p u b lis h in g ^ teve And e ts o n 's a r t i c l e a b o u t the N avajoHopi J o i n t Use lan d d is p u t e , " T rad i tio n ," (RFP B urner, '87, *5/). Acc u r a te and b a la n c ed , the a r t i c l e is the f a i r e s t s h o r t a ccou n t o f the s it u a t io n 7 have s e e n . I , t o e , have, l i v e d on the Navajo N ation , and have been a l t e r n a t e l y dism ayed and b e mused by the treatm en ts o f the d i s pu te by the c e l e b r i t y ca u se c i r c u i t as w e ll as the s t r a i g h t p r e s s . Too manu new age p u b l i c i s t s w ish the d is p u te were a n o th er c a s e o f n o b le r e d -m e n -d e fr a u d e d - b y - e v il-w h it e c a p i t a l i s t s . A nderson 's tru th s ex p ose the in a d e q u a c ie s o f th a t m elo drama. Let us have more from Anderson. S in c e r e ly , S tev e We is sman

V eai RFV:

My fr ie n d and 1, S t r u t t and 7, have had long and heavy t a lk s a b o u t th e Spring is s u e XT IT-3 and RFV in g e n e r a l, w hich T w ould l i k e t o s h a ie . Even though we a r e in b a s i c ag reem en t, and much o f w hat 7 want to sau has been c o n t r ib u t e d bu him in our t a l k s , S t r u t t t e l l s me t o sh u t up and le a v e i t a lo n e , but 7've done t h a t too o f t e n . RFV i s v ery im p ortan t in ou,r l i v e s . We r e s p e c t i t , c h e e r i t on, and we a r e alw ays e x c i t e d and g r a t e f u l to fin d i t in th e m ailb ox on ce each s e a s o n . 7 f we d id n ' t c a r e , we tc o u ld n 't t a i l so much a b o u t i t , and 7 w ou ld n 't be w ritin g t o you now. Even though we have n ev er c o n t r i b u ted material (which i s why S t r u t t says to shu t u p!) 7 hope you w i l l r e c e iv e my o b s e r v a t io n s and com ments as w ell, in te n d e d , p o s s ib ly even c o n s t r u c t iv e a t some p o in t o r oth er. 4

John Boggard ( L e t t e r s , page 5) tou ch ed on t h e uneven q u a lit y o f m a t e r i a l . We t h in k a g la r in g c a s e ■in p o in t i s "On t h e Road" (page 2 3 ]. M ich ael and Jim , our b r o th e r s h e r e in C a lif o r n ia , sound t i k e f w ell-m ea n in g , fu n -lo v in g t y p e s , and no p e r s o n a l o f f e n s e as meant. A lthough t h e r e I s no d ou b t t h a t ■they th em selv es know a t l e a s t v ag u ely what i t i s th e y a r e try in g t o t e l l u s, we have t h e d e v i l o f a tim e t r y in g t o fig u r e o u t what i t i s and why th e y b o th e r in t h e f i r s t p la c e . We tu rn t h e p age and le a r n t h a t th e y o f f e r a p a id su b s c r i p t i o n n e w s le t t e r r e p o r t in g fu r t h e r on t h e i r p la y fu l , b u t t e r f l y l i k e m ejanderings. The mind r e e l s . We co n clu d ed t h a t t h e i r term s " tr a c k house" and " s t r i c k a v o id an ce" must be RFVs ty p o s , o r s u r e l y you would h ave i n s e r t e d " [ s ic ] " as a d is c la im e r , t e l l i n g us t h a t t h i s i s how t h e copy came t o you and a l e r t i n g t h e unwary c o n t r ib u t o r t h a t some S m all th in g may be am iss here. B e fo r e you co n clu d e t h a t we a r e l i t t l e more than fr i v o lo u s n i t p i c k e r s , l e t ' s move on t o w e ig h t ie r o b s e r v a t io n s . S p ace and tim e p r e v e n t us from p r a is in g in d e t a i l a l l t h e s o l i d , p r a c t i c a l c o n t r ib u tion!) in t h i s i s s u e , bu t s p e c i a l th an ks f o r Sam M urdock's e x c e l l e n t and in fo r m a t iv e l e t t e r (page 58] on ATVS. His s u g g e s tio n t h a t t h e un i n f e c t e d sh o u ld head f o r t h e k i l t s in t h e i n t e r e s t o f s u r v iv a l sounds r e a s o n a b le enough f o r t h o s e who can. S t r u t t and 7 f e l t some a p p reh en sio n l e s t i t b e m isco n stru ed to su g g est t h a t on ce t h e r e our b r o t h e r s m ight resume p ro m isc u ity and s l i p b ack i n to u n sa fe p r a c t i c e s w ith p h y s ic a l im pu n ity. Sam Murdock, we f e e l s u r e , would b e t h e f i r s t t o ca u tio n a g a in s t any su ch m istaken i n f e r e n c e by h is r e a d e r s . The q u o te from "The A tla n tic P ress" (page 59} and B i l l S p a n g le r 's l e t t e r (page 60] to u ch ed on a dilemma which p la g u es w h o l i s t i c and p r e v e n t iv e m ed icin e and a l t e r n a t i v e h e a lt h c a r e . Vr. B row der's s a l i e n t d is c u s s io n of c o n v e n tio n a l v ersu s a l t e r n a t i v e m ed icin e s tr u c k us as m is p la c ed , coming as a r e s p o n s e to S p an g ler i n s t e a d o f stan d in g sim p ly on i t s own m e r it. Our s e n s e was t h a t i t had t h e e f f e c t 0 f$ d isc o u n tin g B i l l ' s r e a s o n a b le and j u s t i f i a b l e e x p r e s s io n o f co n cern , and in so doing i t l o s t some o f i t s own d e s e r v e d im p a c t. U nless we m issed som eth in g , B i l l did. n o t a t t a c k o u t -o f- s y s te m h e a lt h c a r e

p e r s e . As we Azad i t , he was con ce r n e d that. i t i s a d a n g ero u sly m ixed bag, one in w hich th e game i s p la y e d d eu ces w ild . The w id e ly r e c o g n iz e d t h e r a p e u t ic v a lu e o f p o s i t i v e th in k in g (Norman V incent P eace) and la u g h te r (Neman C o u sin s) fin d s i t s e l f b e d fe llo w to th e d an g lin g o f c r y s t a l s o v er o u t s t r e t c h e d palm s, as p r a c t i t i o n e r s who s p o r t a s s o r t e d , p s e u d o - p r o fe s s io n a l l e t t e r s a f t e r t h e i r names p r e s s down on th e c l i e n t ' s r a i s e d arm to d iv in e w hich f l o r a l e s s e n c e must b e in g e s t e d f o r hem orrhoids and w hich fo r in -grow in g t o e n a i l s . (. . .] W hile "the system " d is c o u r a g e s and i n h i b i t s many avenues o f r e s e a r c h , d ev elop m en t and m anu factu rin g (w it n ess th e FVA r e g u la t o r y m orass) i t does in g e n e r a l o f f e r some means to h e lp s e p a r a t e sen se from nonsense. Meanwhile, out-of-system health care and p r e v e n t iv e m ed icin e a r e up fo r grabs by t h e ig n o r a n t, th e m ystic and th e p r e d a t o r as much as by s e n s i b l e p e o p le such a s Pe.ale, C ousins and Vr.. Browder. Perhaps Dr. Browder m u ld c o n se n t to d e a l w ith t h is q u e s tio n a t g r e a t e r len g th fo r a l l our b e n e f i t in some fu tu re is s u e . 1. . .] W hether o r n ot RFV w ish es to do so , i t p la y s a s i g n i f i c a n t r o l e o f le a d e r s h i p among gay men and fr ie n d s o f th e gay movement. Tt has p la y e d i t w e ll. I t can p la y i t b e t t e r . I f i t s p ages do n ot o f t e n co n ta in item s d e a lin g w ith a l t e r n a t i v e l i f e s t y l e s w hich s t r e s s in d iv id u a l i n i t i a t i v e and r e s p o n s i b i l i t y , p e r s o n a l i n t e g r i t y and self-esteem, right a lo n g s id e th o se p e r t a in in g to com munal liv in g and c o l l e c t i v e en d e a v o r s , i s i t b eca u se our b r o t h e r s do n o t v a lu e such a c h o ic e o f a l t e r n a t iv e l i f e s t y l e s ? H ardly. I f i t s c o v e r s do n ot e n c lo s e in t e l l i g e n t , a u t h o r i t a t i v e , m u lti f a c e t e d d is c u s s io n s o f the n u clea r dilemma w hich en gages th e w o r ld ’ s a t t e n t i o n , in s t e a d o f a page o f o n ly a n t i- n u c le a r announcem ents, i s i t b eca u se our b r o t h e r s a r e d i s i n t e r e s t e d in r e s p o n s ib le d e b a te ? Not lik e ly . When eq u a l s p a c e i s giv en to a p p e a ls fo r fi n a n c i a l a i d to t h e Navajo and Hopi t h r e a t e n e d w ith lo s in g t h e i r homes, and to d e fr a y c o u r t c o s t s o f f i v e p erso n s a r r e s t e d in T oronto fo r sp r a y -p a in tin g a Kentucky F r ied C hicken o u t l e t in some m isg u id ed , b ir d - b r a in e d " d e fe n s e o f an im a ts,"

i s i t b eca u se gays a r e n ot l i k e l y to d is t in g u is h betw een the m e r its o f th e two ca u ses? I t would b e a t e l l in g commentary upon th e r e a d e r s h ip i f we had some m y to le a r n how much money w ent as a r e s u l t to th e In dian s and how much t o t h e Torotvto F iv e. I t ' s c a l l e d v o tin g w ith the p o c k e tb o o k . When page 7 i s a p p r o p r ia t e ly h ead ed "Homophobia" and n e a r ly eq u a l sp a c e g oes t o t h a t s o c i a l phenomenon c a l l ing i t s e l f The U nited F r u it Company (pages 18-19), which co n tem p la tes o rg a n iz in g a j a c k - o f f - f o r - s h o c k v a lu e in B oston , do a l l o f our b r o t h e r s fa il, t o s e e a p o s s i b l e con n e c tio n betw een hom ophobia and th e p u e r i l e a n t ic s o f t h e UFC in i t s s e a r c h fo r " f i f t e e n m inutes o f fame?" S u rely n o t a l l . By way o f c o n t r a s t , San F ra n cisc o has tr u ly been g r a c e d by th e c o l o r f u l , a r t i c u l a t e and im p e r tin e n t S i s t e r s o f Per petual In d u lg en c e, most notably the u b iq u ito u s and unforgettable S is t e r Boom Boom--men gay and n ot gay who g a t h e r to don nun's h a b it s , mount t h e ir b ik e s and draw cro w d s, to sp ea k o u t w i t t i l y , i n t e l l i g e n t l y and c o n s t r u c t iv e ly to gays and non-gays a l i k e . A las, p o o r B oston . We s u s p e c t t h a t more than a few in t e l l i g e n t , d is c e r n in g r e a d e r s fin d t i t t l e c o m fo rt in t h e d is p r o p o r t io n a t e amount o f p r in t ta k en up by a d v o c a te s o f w it c h c r a ft and m y stic ism in t h e p a s t . F ello w r e a d e r s who s u b s c r ib e to RTV’ s ad v o ca cy o f lo v e , p e a c e and b ro th erh o o d may fin d some ca u se fo r m a la is e a t o c c a s io n a l h in ts o f t h in ly d is g u is e d h a tr e d and i l l - w i l l tow ards o t h e r s in th e words and d eed s o f b r o t h e r s who p r o fe s s w orthy c a u s e s . We s en se a growing tren d tow ard so c sia l p o l a r i z a t io n , p o c k e t s o f "we" p e o p le v e r su s t h e "they" p e o p le , making no e f f o r t t o e n lig h t e n , to rea so n and u n d erstan d , t o s t r i k e a b a la n c e ; p e o p le who a d v o c a te w ith d raw al in f r u s t r a t io n , not. i n t e l l i g e n t en g ag e ment in th e r e a l w orld .

T here can be no denying t h a t we have a l l been wronged and ab u sed , many o f us p s y c h o lo g ic a l ly c r i p p le d , p erh a p s, in one. way o r a n o th e r , and now many of us a r e i l l and d y in g . We have a l l been wounded, but a n o ted a u th or has w r it te n th a t "Pain is t o be fought and th ru m a s id e , not. em braced a s a s c a r a c r o s s one' s view> o i e x is t e n c e ." T his b rin g s us f i n a l l y t o the. o b s e r v a t io n t h a t RFV’ s c o n t r ib u t o r s have been ivoe'f u l l y s h o r t on w it , m irth and g e n e r a l good humor. 5

Not a l l gay men a r e drawn to or o v e r ly sy m p ath etic toward the. f a e r i e movements, b u t - - b le s s t h e ir f a e r i e h e a r t s - - t h o s e e lv e s have shown an ela n and jo y ou s li g h t - h e a r t e d n ess t h a t sh ou ld be the. envy o f even th e ir s e v e r e s t c r i t i c s . Long may th ey g a t h e r on m o o n lit h i l l s and meadows to string garlands, j o i n hands and dan ce t h e i r happy hearts o u t, o r w h atev er i t i s t h a t f a e r i e s do in t h e m o o n lig h t. Some tim e back the S h o rt Mountain S an ctu ary a d v e r t i s e d some s o r t o f c o n t e s t and o f f e r e d as a c o n s o la tio n p r iz e a b i l l y - g o a t ’ s-cu m -soak ed h a n d k e r c h ie f. S in c e then we have w a ite d in v ain to r e a d .some r e a c t io n or comment from th e lu c k y r e c i p i e n t o f so e x t r a o r d in a r y i f u n en v ia b le a p r iz e . O therw ise, S tr u tt and l have found

l i t t l e t h a t is amusing in RFD's pages e x c e p t the names. WKether gen uin e or a l i a s e s , c o n s id e r , fo r exam ple, the c o l o r f u l names Big S to n e, Raven W o lfd a n cer, Lotus Pad, Wading B ear, B ro th er Crow and Long S tr e a k . S is t e r M ission ary P o s itio n i s long on in v e n t iv e n e s s even i f a b i t s h o r t on good t a s t e . S t i l l , the p r iz e sh o u ld g o, in my book anyway, to your page 4 l e t t e r w r it e r in th e Spring is s u e , A f r i e n d o f S t r u t t ’ s th in k s i t may be an aka o f C a l i f o r n i a ’ s ex -g ov ern o r J e r r y Brown, but t h a t ju s t d o e s n ’ t wash, b eca u se the man m s and is h u m orless. At any r a t e , th e sig n a tu r e in q u e s tio n so f i l l s me w ith jo y t h a t my a r t h r i t i s i s s t i l l in r e m is s io n . L e t's hear i t fo r Moonbeam La Tour. And S t r u t t a g r e e s . Yours in an a ll- e m b r a c in g lo v e , Beau R u t ile , C a lif o r n ia

NAAR I/R1ENDSCHAP 211LK EEN HATELOOS [/ERLANGEN

NNOUNCEMENTS

on the A m s t e r d a m M o n u m e n t to G a y H o l o c a u s t V i c t i m s

- Inscription

"The a e v o tu tio n a n i.es have ahvays tni.ed to thAow a b n ic k throu gh a window to g e t a t t e n t io n . The n efonmeAA have had t o maAch and thAQjaten authonJX y. 1 th in k t h a t 16 , u n fo n tu n a teiy , th e leAAon o jj h i s tom j. Why hasn't. le a d e n s h ip lea n n ed t h e le s s o n ? That we sh o u ld be doing some th in g a b o u t theAe p ro b lem s, n ot u n itin g fon them t o e x p lo d e . In the name o f hum anity, we ou ght to be t a c k lin g t h is pnoblem w ith a ll. ouA n eso u n c es—penhaps some of, th o s e n es ounces th a t one going in to making n ucleon w eapons, w hich an.cn’ t going to do us a dann b i t o f good i f the innen stnu ctun e is so n o tten th a t i t ca n ’ t su sta in the demo enact/ we want to d e fe n d . I must say th a t 7 wonden why p e o p le put up w ith what th ey have to put up w ith in oun s o c i e t y ." - Wai ten C nonkite MARCH SPIRIT ALIVF IN TENNESSEE The 10-15 regular members of the Tennessee Gay and Lesbian Coalition were surprised to see close to 80 people attend the first post-March meeting, October 19, 1987. New attenders included radical faeries, drag performers, and PWAs. The group has plans for several impor tant projects, such as keeping watch on how lesbians and gay men are re presented in the media, responding to such representations, and work ing to repeal Tennessee's law against sodomy. For more info, con tact: Tennessee Gay and Lesbian Coalition, P.0. Box 24181, Nash ville, TN 37202. [GCN 11/8-14/87} PRO-UNION GAYS ATTACKED AT RALLY A Gay union activist was assaulted and several Lesbians threatened ver bally and with knives at the MidSouth Jobs With Justice rally in Nashville, TN, Nov. 1. As members of the Tennessee Gay and Lesbian Co alition (TGLC), the victims were at the rally as an endorsing sponsor. Eight white men, dressed as rally safety marshals, told the Gay people to remove a TGLC banner. When they refused, the men produced knives and

SUCH A MEASURELESS VESJRE FOR FRIENDSHIP

cut down the banner, knocking down one man who tried to stop them and threatening the others. They then fled, but the banner was retrieved and put up again. The incident was not mentioned in speeches given at the rally and apologies by rally or ganizers were tempered. "It was wrong, but it was an isolated exam ple of prejudice . . ." said a union worker, "Our members of the AFL-CIO are from a broad cross sec tion of society and will unfortunate ly represent some of the discrimina tion that exists out there." [g c n 11/28/87)

BOULDER, COLORADO, GETS GAY RIGHTS On November 3, voters in Boulder, CO, decided to add "sexual orienta tion" to their city's human rights code which prohibits discrimination in housing, employment, and public accomodations. The ordinance had already protected people because of their race, religion, sex, marital status, national origin, age and disability. Boulder joins over 50 cities around the country with Gay rights ordinances, such as Detroit, MI, Tucson, AZ, Yellow Springs, OH, and West Hollywood, CA. The measure passed in Boulder by a narrow mar gin: 7,Q16 votes for and 7,621 votes against, [e p c ] VIETNAM VETERAN INJURED IN PROTEST On September 1, 1987, Vietnam vet eran and former Air Force Lieuten ant Brian Willson was run down by a munitions train outside the Naval Weapons Station in Concord, CA. As part of a group of 25 people pro testing arms shipments to Central America, Willson and two others had stretched a banner across the tracks and were sitting beside it. Though local law enforcement and base officials were informed prior to the protest, the oncoming engine plowed through the demonstration without braking, forcing horrified participants to flee its path. The train struck Brian and dragged him 6

beneath it, severing his right leg below the knee, mangling his left foot and inflicting severe head injuries. His medical expenses are projected to exceed $150,000. On September 22, Contra Costa County Assistant DA Gary Yancey declared that no criminal charges would be filed against the crew of the train that struck Willson. Ronald Dellum is pursuing a Congressional inves tigation through the Armed Services Committee. Demands that California reopen the case can be made to State Attorney General John Van Der Kamp, 3580 Wilshire Blvd., Los An geles, CA 90010; (213) 736-2304. (This information about Brian Willson was sent to RFD by an organiza tion called Vietnam Veterans Against the War. For more informa tion about this group or about Brian Willson's case, contact them at: VVAW, P.0. Box 74, Brooklyn, NY 11215; (718) 499-1101.) NATIONAL BISEXUAL NETWORK Issues of bisexual oppression and bisexual liberation are often ig nored by the Gay and Lesbian move ment. Some bisexuals have begun to organize, and there are now over 20 regional bisexual networks in the U.S. Currently, there is an effort underway to found a national bi sexual network that would facilitate communication and political action among the regional groups. To offer support, receive information, or find out how you can help, write: National Bisexual Network, c/o Bi-Pol, 584 Castro Street, Box #422, San Francisco, CA 94114. "HATE CRIMES" BILL ACKNOWLEDGES GAYS Intensive efforts by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the American Psychological Association, the ACLU and other organizations, have resulted in the passage of a Hate Crimes Statistics Bill (H.R. 3193), mandating the federal collec tion of statistics on crimes.moti vated by sexual orientation, race, religion and ethnicity. The Judiciary Committee of the U.S. House of Representatives voted 21 to

13 in favor of the bill, which was sponsored by Rep. John Conyers (D-MI). An amendment to remove the "sexual orientation" provision, in troduced by Rep. George Gekas (R-PA) failed by a 22 to 11 vote (2 members not voting). All supporters of the Hate Crimes Statistics Bill are urged to write their own represen tatives and call on them to support the measure, [n g l t f ] SHARON KOWALSKI'S STRUGGLE Sharon Kowalski's struggle con tinues, and at the Minnesota Capi tol building in St. Paul, more than 100 demonstrators gathered October 25, 1987, to demand that she be allowed to leave a nursing home. Gay rights activists, disabled rights activists, and feminists all participated in the demonstration. Kowalski is a lesbian who was brain-injured in a 1983 automobile accident. The courts gave guar dianship power to her father, and he barred Karen Thompson, Sharon Kowalski's long-time lover, from seeing his daughter. Thompson said at the rally that she now plans to request that a state judge order a competency test for Kowalski, in hopes of proving "that she should be in the least restrictive guar dianship." [A 12/8/1987] CHURCH OF ENGLAND AND HOMOSEXUALITY The policy-making General Synod of the Church of England approved a resolution saying that "homosexual genital acts" (along with adultery and fornication) "fall short" of the Christian ideal of "a permanent married relationship," and that homosexuality should be "met by a call to repentance and the exercise of compassion." Overwhelmingly rejected, however, was a motion that homosexual acts be declared "sinful in all circumstances" and that would have banned homosexuals from the priesthood. LEONARD PELTIER UPDATE On October 5, 1987, American Indian rights activist Leonard Peltier, imprisoned now for 12 years, had his request for a new trial denied by the Supreme Court. He claims that his original trial was unfairly con ducted and included manufactured evidence and perjury. 31 members of Congress have signed a petition stating that "it is in the public interest that a new trial be grant ed." Peltier now plans to push for a full congressional investigation into his case. For information,

contact: The Leonard Peltier De fense Committee, Crazy Horse Spirit, P.0. Box 10044, Kansas City, MO 64111. JACKSON CONTINUES SUPPORTING GAYS On December 2, 1987, NBC aired a debate of the 12 leading candidates for the 1988 presidential election. At one point, the 6 Democratic con tenders were asked what policy they favored on AIDS. All spoke for re search and education. Jesse Jackson, however, went further, and men tioned the nctober 11 March on Wash ington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, noting that he was the only one among the presidential hopefuls who had showed up there. He also men tioned the correct figures for at tendance at the March (6-300,000, rather than the 200,000 widely re ported in the non-Gay media). None of the other candidates mentioned Gay people at all. OZONE-LAYER PACT SIGNED In September 1987 two dozen coun tries signed a treaty, the Montreal Protocol, which calls for nations to reduce ozone-depleting chemicals by 50% before the year 2000. Hope fully, this example will be fol lowed for international participa tion on other global environmental issues. [AC 9/17/87] WAS IT JUST A MASS HALLUCINATION? Time magazine did not run a single word about the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. News week, except for a single line in its "Overheard" section, was also silent. fM 11/27/87]

"The germ l i n oth in g , t h e en v iro n ment i s e v e r y th in g ." - LouiA Pas t e a r . h o m o sex u a lity , prom iA culty and drug ab u se ca n n ot ca u se ATPS . . ." - firom a 7985 e d it o r ia l , in t h e Jo u r n a l o i t h e Royal S o c ie t y o l M edicine AIDS IN 1969 In a discovery that blows the Pa tient Zero theory out of the water, researchers have found that a 14 year old from St. Louis, M0, died of AIDS in 1969. Tissue and blood samples from the boy were preserved 7

by the attending doctors, puzzled by the strange disease that killed him and hoping an explanation could be found at some later time. All the samples tested in June 1987 showed the presence of HIV, the virus generally believed to cause AIDS. The case raises difficulties for theories regarding the spread of AIDS. It had been thought that AIDS originated in central Africa, spread to the Caribbean in the seventies, and was brought to the U.S. by vacationing Gay men or by the boat people. But critics had asked why the disease appeared only in Gay men in the U.S. when AIDS is spread equally by both sexes in the Caribbean--why didn't straight tourists bring it back also? Now no one seems to know how long HIV was in the U.S. and why it remained unknown for so long, [g n t n / H 7 ] ROLE OF HIV IN AIDS QUESTIONED In an effort to promote media aware ness of Professor Peter H. Duesberg's ideas, the University of Cali fornia at Berkeley has issued a press release that, while not endorsing Duesberg's views, presented them to the public for consideration. Duesberg says it is "highly unlikely that this virus [HIV] causes AIDS," and his main points are these: 1) A virus must be "biochemically active" to cause disease, but HIV "is not biochemically active in AIDS pa tients." 2) When the body produces antibodies to any infectious agent, that event is usually looked upon as an indication that the body has over come an infection. But supporters of HIV as the cause of AIDS see HIVanti body production "as a sign that the virus will eventually overcome the body. This is an unorthodox in terpretation of antibody production," Duesberg writes. 3) The HIV "fails to meet the criterion of infection in adequate numbers." The HIV "actively infects fewer than one in 10,000 to 100,000 susceptible cells, whereas other retroviruses, when they cause disease, infect nearly all susceptible cells." (Earlier in the press re lease, Duesberg is quoted as saying "no human diseases have ever been at tributed to retroviruses.") "In short," Duesberg writes, "no prece dent exists for an inactive virus in very low concentrations causing dis ease or killing the host." 4) Trans mission theories are another problem. "Viral diseases . . . are commonly spread by casual contact,” but "near ly everyone agrees that casual con tact does not spread AIDS." Dues berg says, "Exchange of cells is con sidered necessary," but if this is true, "then AIDS could be caused by

anything smaller than a human cell, Including all viruses, bacteria, and other cellular parasites." AIDS "could even be caused by other human cells," Duesberg added. Current theories eliminate "so few possibil ities, that treatments presuming an AIDS virus are irresponsible." [n y n 11/16/87)

The first study indicated that per sons with two Gel-fast genes have a higher risk of contracting AIDS than those with two Gc2 genes. But the scientists at Berkeley found that PWAs and those who are HIV positive are no more likely to have the Gel-fast gene than are the uninfected, [m 10/9/87]

POSSIBLE NEW TREATMENT FOR AIDS

POSSIBLE AIDS-SYPHILIS CONNECTION

According to Dr. Larry Rohrschneider, a Seattle virologist and researcher at Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, the seeds of an Australian chestnut tree yield a drug called castanospermine that might be of use in treating AIDS. The drug ap pears to interrupt the ability of the HIV to reproduce itself inside the cell. The drug has been suc cessfully tested in a Harvard Uni versity laboratory headed by Dr. William Haseltine, one of the na tion's leading AIDS researchers. Tests of the drug in animals have been approved by the National Can cer Institute, and, if all goes well, it will be tested in humans in about a year. |b s n 11/87) * NEW TREATMENT FOR AIDS? More than 1000 Ugandans with AIDSlike symptoms have been success fully treated by E. T. C. Ssebabi, a Senior Medical Technologist/Hematologist at Makerere University Medical School in Kampala, Uganda. His method involves interfering with antibodies which attack white blood cells, and seems similar to the research of Dr. Daniel Zagury in France, who has been treating the white blood cells of PWAs. How ever, the Ugandan Ministry of Health has questioned the value of Ssebabi's work for AIDS research, asserting that his clients were actually suffering from "an auto immune disease" and that "this dis ease has nothing to do with AIDS." [TWW SI)

GC1-FAST THEORY DISPROVED In "Proteins Increase Risk" (RFD *51, p. 15), a study was reported on that suggested that persons with a certain gene type that directs production of a protein that car ries vitamin D in the blood, have a higher risk of contracting AIDS than those with another type of gene. It now appears that those findings were in error, according to new research conducted at the University of California at Berke ley. The genes in question are called Gel-fast, Gel-slow, and Gc2.

Dr. Stephen S. Caiazza of New York City says: "What we have been call ing AIDS is tertiary [chronic] syphilis." Dr. Caiazza and his colleagues noticed that although there was a logarithmic increase in the number of Gay men with AIDS, there was no similar increase in syphilis cases, though both diseases are "endemic" to the Gay male com munity. Dr. Caiazza has been treat ing his AIDS patients successfully with penicillin for less than a year (over 25 PWA's and PWArc's were treated--all improved. One died of extreme pneumocystis car inii pneu monia). He believes an especially virulent new form of syphilis has appeared and been mistaken for an entirely new disease. He theorizes that HIV (generally thought to be the cause of AIDS) is a "parasite" virus whose actual host is T. Pallidum, the Spirochete bacteria which causes syphilis. He noted that one patient who was diagnosed with syphilis was HIV-positive and after being cured of syphilis was found to be HIV-negative, [co 11/12/87]

HELMS' HOMOPHOBIA INFECTS CONGRESS The U.S. Senate on October 14, 1987, passed an amendment banning the use of federal funds for materials and projects in AIDS education that might "promote or encourage, directly or indirectly, homosexual sexual activity." The amendment was intro duced by Sen. Jesse Helms (R-NC) to the S126 billion Labor, Health and Human Services and Education bill, which allocates close to SI billion dollars for AIDS research and educa tion in fiscal 1988. The Helms amendment was passed by the Senate by an overwhelming 94-2 vote, with negative votes cast only by Sen. Lowell Weicker (R-CT) and Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan (D-NY). The House of Representatives also passed the bill by a very wide margin, [n c l t f ] ALBANY'S "AIDS CARRIERS" LIST The Police and Fire Departments of Albany, NY, have been keeping lists of alleged "AIDS carriers." After 8

this practice was revealed in local newspapers, three organizations-Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, the New York Civil Liberties Union, and the Albany Branch of the NAACP--joined together to protest the list-keeping and to demand docu ments and information that would reveal the origins and purpose of the list-keeping. The City of Al bany has sent initial information, but it does not adequately address the request made, and the three or ganizations will be requesting more. Meanwhile, the Albany Police Depart ment has indicated that it will pro bably discontinue use of its lists, but has not revealed why the lists were kept, how names were gathered, or what it would do with the list. [LLDEF]

"We want which, we fi e s t n i c t oft human

to buJJLd a s o c i e t y in en cou rag e n ath ea than t h e va/u.etij and aichneM n a t u a e .”

- M aagaaet T h atch et [!?!] ATLANTA HEALING CIRCLE Because so many are suffering from or concerned about AIDS, a "circle of healing" has been started in Atlanta, GA. The circle is not limited to those with AIDS concerns, but is open to anyone in need of healing, be it physical, emotional, or spiritual. All participants in the circle will be asked to join in the process both as healers and recipients of healing. The circle is held on the first and third Sun days of each month from 4-5:30 in the afternoon at the First Existen tialist Church, 470 Candler Park Dr. (near Little Five Points and the Candler Park MARTA Station). The church is wheelchair accessible. Wear comfortable clothes, bring a pillow to sit on and a candle to 1 ight. TEXAS GATHERING The Summer Solstice Gathering at Gray Lady Place in Texas will be held June 17-20, 1988. For more information, please write: Gray Lady Place, P.0. Box 611, Blum, TX 76627. CENTRAL LOUISIANA GATHERING There are tentative plans for a fairy gathering in central LOuisi■ ana in April or May of 1988. For more information, write: Skip Ward, P.0. Box 3036, Pineville, LA 71361.

SHORT MOUNTAIN FAERY GATHERING

SHAWL KEEPER'S ADDRESS CORRECTION

FAERY ANTHOLOGY SUBMISSIONS NEEDED

Short Mountain Sanctuary will hold a Radical Taery gathering for Gay men and Lesbians (children welcome) around the first of May, 1988. For information, write: Short Mountain Sanctuary, Rt. 1 Box 84-A, Liberty, TN 37095; or call Gabby Haze at (615) 536-5287.

In the last issue of RFD (a52), in the RFD Faerie Directory on page 10, the adcfress given for shawl keeper Dimid Hayes is incorrect The cor rect address is: Oimid (D.A. Hayes), P.0, Rox Q4 ?o, Santa Fe, NM 87504.

HELP, I'm working on editing an an thology that will be published in a permanent book form about many as pects of the radical faeries, and possibly a wider audience This an thology is to be published by the Crossing Press. I need your arti cles as soon as possible, but no later than March 1st, '83. I am specifically collecting articles that try to answer these questions: '•'ho are the faeries9 Why are we different? How did we evolve as a group? "hat is our structure if any? What do the radical faeries mean to you personally, and of what significance might they be to the gay community at large? What is the historical chronology or evolution of the radical faeries? Do we have a common politics, and if so how can it be outlined? What is the significance of drag at gatherings? What are the social-psychological experiences of attending a gather ing? What is faerie spirituality, or are there many, or what's it all about? Is the "faerie" experience of the AIDS crisis different? What is the significance of being con nected with the land, and rural liv ing mean to faeries? How do rural or urban collectives, circles, and sanctuaries work or come together? How do race and class issues affect faeries? What directions might, the radical faerie "movement" take? What is the relationship between the faeries and feminism? How do the economics o r faerie gatherings work? Is there an element of separatism within the faeries and what's it all about? How do faeries deal with ageism? Are there significant geo graphical regions o f faeries and why? Is growth OK in the faerie movement, or something to be avoided?

RAINWOODS GATHERING FnR MEN (PLANNED) There will be a wilderness gathering for men in central Virginia — FIuvanna County, June ?7th to luly 6th, 1988. This men's gathering will be held in a secluded, natural environ ment- -P^ijTwoods. Write to: Skyhawk/ Rainwoods, P.0. Box 203, Fork Union, 'i/\ 23055. Please include SASE. RUNNING WATER FAIRY GATHERING Running Water's Summer Solstice Gathering will be held June 17-26, 1988. The first weekend will be an Old-Timers Reunion, as Punning Water celebrates its tenth anniver sary of continuous gatherings for gay men. We are encouraging all the men who have ever been to a Running Water gathering to come to the re union June 17-1° to begin the sum mer gathering. The second weekend (June 24-26) will be open to all gay men, newcomers and old-timers alike. The first weekend is ap propriately Father's Day. For info write: Running Water, Rt. 1 Box 127E, 3akersville, NC 28705. 3RD ANNUAL ARIZONA GAY RODEO The 3rd Annual Arizona Gay Rodeo will be held January 15-17, 1988, in Phoenix at the El Lienzo Charro Podeo Grounds. For information on transportation and hotels, contact: "ndrew Axelrod, 115 W. Camel back Rd., Phoenix, AZ 85013; (602) 2665390. For more information, call: Arizona Gay Rodeo Association, (602) 938-3932. FOREST HERMITAGE A new retreat center has opened in New South Wales, Australia. Says the owner: "I realize now that I built it for people who are wanting to be alone with their best friend (The Self), to get to be on better terms with this Number One Friend." Write: Forest Hermitage, Lot 24, Glen Rd., nUrimbah, NSW, 2258, Australia.

"We have got to call a spade a spade and a perverted human being a perverted human bed ng . . . " - M.C. S en a to r J e s s e Heims, arg u in g ago ins t f ede r a l funds fo r MVS ed u catio n t h a t nph.omot.es . . . homo s ex u a l s e x u a l a c t i v i t y " " I t i s a i t flig h t to throw ro ck s a t g a y s ." • Vavid T. H a h cr tu, N.C. S ec, o f Human Re s o u r c e s , in change o f V. C. p o tic ti on MVS

"It is better to be hated tor what non are than loved tor what you are not." -

Andre Gide, early 20th century French Gan writer

PIANIST AND PUBLICITY PEOPLE SOUGHT Professional singer needs pianist(s) and publicity people in cities and towns across the country to play and help organize concerts of "Songs from RFD" in their area. These songs were written by composer and RFD editor Ron Lambe and are settings of poems published in RFD. Some of these songs were recently premiered in Bos ton. Tom Grabosky, music critic for Gay Community News; "'Songs from Run ning Water p f D l* was by far the showpiece of the evening, particular ly notable for the piano music of Ron Lambe--beautiful and Satie-like in its directness and variety." Mr. Grabosky then said, "With all the poignancy of a turn-of-the-century French cafe singer, Mr. Strange [Heartsinger] delivered the intimate and engaging verse with a style that was both touching and delightful. Audiences are in for a rewarding and exotic experience." Pudy Rikel, Arts and Entertainment Editor for Bay Windows told Mr. Strange "you sang 1 ike an angel." The songs are lyrical and dramatic, simple to mod erate for playing and constitute a full hour of music. Write: Heartsinger, c/o RFD, Rt. 1 Box 127-E, Bakersville, NC 28705.

The faeries are many people so I am looking for many viewpoints and voices. If you have already written or published (provided I can get permission to reuse), or are in terested in writing about some area you have strong feelings about or have thoughts, experiences, or know ledge about, please write me or phone. Some payment (unfortunate!y low) will be provided, plus all residual rights to your work I am open to correspondence at any level around these topics. SEND TO: Terry Cavanagh, !?.? A Cedar St., Santa Cruz, CA 95060; (408) 49r>1 38,8.

DIRECTO R Y OP' ANNOUNCEMENTS SOURCES

to do anything to alienate one's self from the new found Gay community, lest one be forced back out in the cold again. The visible gay male community is an extension of the "Sar Culture"; a men's ghetto society developed over many years.

A - T h e A d v o c a t e , 6 9 2 2 H o l l y w o o d B l v d . , 10th F I ., L o s is, C A >002$. * AC - Asheville ci t i zcn , 14 0* H e n r y A v e ., A s h e v i l l e , NC 28801. * BSN - Both S i des N o w , Cay/l/sibian C o m m u n i t y O r g a n i z a t i o n , P.0. Box S042, Kahului Maui, m 96732# * CO - C h i c a g o O u t l i n e s , L a m b d a P u b l i c a t i o n s , 1300 W. Belmont, S u ite 3-5, C h i c a g o , IL 6 0 6 57. * EPC - Equal P r o t e c t i o n C o a l i t i o n , P.0. B o x 17561, Boulder, CO 80308. * GCN - C a y C o m m u n i t y N e w s , 62 B e r k e l e y St., Boston, MA 02116. * GNT - C a y N e w s - T e l e g r a p h , P. 0 * Box 14229A, St. Louis, MO 6 3 1 7 8 . * L L D E F - L a m b d a Legal D e f e n s e and E d u c a t i o n Fund, Inc., 666 Broadway, N e w York, NY 10012. * M - M e t r o l i n e , P.0. Box 31251, Hartford, C T 06103. * N G L T F - N a t * 1. G a y and L e s b i a n Task Force, 1517 U S t r e e t NW, W a s h i n g t o n , DC 20009. NYN - N e w York N a t i v e , That New M a gazine, P.O. Box 1475, C h u r c h St. Station, N e w York, NY 10008. * TWW - T h i r d W o r l d Week.

To be a member of the club, one must do many things that seem sexist, flippant, and very artificial to people coming from an alternative/rural lifestyle. Paced with having to change to a very foreign life style, many men freeze in place, unaware of the large numbers of Gay men and women out there just like them selves. For many alternative/rural folks, Mother Earth News is a major public forum and means of contact, a way of letting those closeted alternative/rural folks know there are others just like themselves. To be denied access to this 60rum to place contact letters and to advertise RFD perpetuates the loneliness and isolation. MEN has consistently rejected our contact letters. MEN refuses to accept RFD's ad. MEN refuses to enter a dialogue to gently and compassionately help them overcome their fears.

U. S. POSTAL INFORMATION U. S. Postal Service Statement of Ownership, Manage ment., and Circulation (Required by 39 USC 3685).

I am not looking for acceptance at every corner and would normally move on to other efforts, but rejection by such a major alternative media outlet is too much. Supportive people and publications must be made aware of this situation and be encouraged to make active efforts at changing this policy. I urge Utne Reader to hold up on any future reprints from MEN until we can at least get our contact letters prTnted and RFD's ad in place. I urge Utne Reader readers to voice their concern by first contacting MEN and let their socially conscious advertisers know of this intolerable situ ation. If this doesn't work, then cancel your sub scriptions .

RFD (publication #073010-08) is published quarterly TYour issues per year). Annual subscription price is $15.00. The office of publication is at Rt. 1, Box 127-F, Bakersville, NC 28705; the Managing Editor is Pon lambe. RFD is owned by Gay Community Social Ser vices, P. 0. Box 22228, Seattle, WA 98112. There are no bond holders, mortgages, or other security holders. RFD is authorized to mail at special rates (Section TT2.122 PSM) and the purpose, function, and non-profit status of this organization and the tax exempt status for Federal Income Tax purposes have not changed dur ing the preceding twelve months. Extent and nature of circulation (average for each issue during preceding 12 months; actual number of single issues published nearest filing date). Total copies printed (2475; 2600). Sales through dealers and carriers, street vendors, and counter sales (713; 791). Mail subscriptions (1310; 1449). Total paid circulation (2023; 2240). Free distribution by mail, carrier, and other means including samples, complimen tary and other free copies (274; 287) Total distri bution (2296; 2527), Copies not distributed: office use, left over, unaccounted, spoiled after printing (140; 73). Returns from news agents (38; 0). I certify that the statements made by me above are correct and complete to the best of my knowledge. Ron Lambe, Managing Editor

Yours Truly, Herman R. Strumpf E d i t o r ' s P.S.: In a no t e a t t a c h e d to the a b o v e let t e r th a t RFD re ceived, d a t e d S e p t e m b e r 12, 1987, H e r m a n says that he ca l l e d M E N S e p t e m b e r 11th a n d l e a r n e d t h a t they would n ot p r i n t a c o n t a c t l e t t e r h e h a d s u b m i t t e d to them. M E N refu s e d to d i s c u s s t h e i r p o l i c y r e g a r d i n g Gay c o n t a c t letters w i t h h i m also. M E N ' S oppre s s i v e p o l i c y h a s b e e n in p l a c e since 1974 at least, as they r e f u s e d to run R F D 's v e r y f i rst ad. T h a t rejection w a s p r i n t e d in RFD #1, A u t u m n 1974, a n d read in part: "We c o n s i d e r o u r m e s s a g e t o be the m o s t important a s p e c t of the m a g a z i n e a n d — u n f o r t u n a t e l y — many o f o u r r e a d e r s a re n ot yo u n g , hip, o p e n - m i n d e d folks, but are little o l d ladies in te n n i s s hoes." If MEN. s m e s s a g e is h o m o p h o b i a , it's c o m i n g t h r o u g h loud and clear. In the r e a l m of m o r e r e s p o n s i b l e journalism, it is h e a r t e n i n g to no t e M a g i c a l B l end maga z i n e ' s r e a c t i o n to a b i g o t e d l e t t e r in issue #15 w h i c h was c r i t i c a l o f MB for h a v i n g run an e x c h a n g e ad with 5E2. a n d impl i e d that G a y s could n o t be s p i r i t u a l until they 'transcended* t h e i r s exuality. The next issue of M B c o n t a i n e d 4 lett e r s s u p p o r t i v e o f RFD and re f uting the w r i t e r ' s s i l l y claims, all e l o q u e n t and well w o r t h reading. A n d a note r e f e r r e d to other l etters o f s u p p o r t th a t MB h ad no space to publish.

Eric Utne, rditor Utne Reader ?73? West 43rd Street Minneapolis, MN 55410

Dear EHc«

by Herman S tru m p f

I am a rural gay male, a radical faerie if you like. Vfe face two walls. One wall of homophobia and another wall of denial and uneasiness from our 'mainstream' Gay brothers. The second wall may be a surprise, but it is understandable, for when one has been alone in the straight world and finally takes the courageous step of coming out, there is tremendous pressure not 10

M APPING IT OUT Have you ever wondered who out there is reading RFD? Obviously we have, being concerned with increasing the number of subscribers to give RFD more financial stability. A first step in that direction is to know where our subscribers are and are not. We now have subscribers in 49 states of the US, 5 Canadian pro vinces, and 10 other countries. To make our readers aware of our distribution, we present this map and chart, current as of November 23, 1987, including subscriptions that expire with issue #53. Through bookshops and exchange advertising with other publica tions, awareness of RFD is growing. However, the best publicity for RFD is still by word of mouth to friends, acquaintances, Gay groups, local Gay media, etc. We hope these statistics will provide some motivation to increase awareness of RFD in your area.* 2 1

Numbers = Total # of subs in a state X's = Bookstores where RFD is sold 0 = Running Water, current home of RFD 9's = Previous homes of RFD (GrinneTT7 IA; Wolf Creek, OR; & Efland, NC) Foreign Subscriptions: Australia - 7 (NSW - 3, ACT 1, Qld. - 2, SA - 1); Belize - 1; Canada - 26 (Alb. 2, BC - 7, NS - 2, Ont. - 11, PQ - 4); France - 3; Japan - 1; Mexico - 1; New Zealand - 1; Norway - 1; Switzerland - 1; United Kingdom - 1; West Germany - 3. Grand Total - 1021.

STATE

RANK

# OF SUBS

CA NY TX WA IL, NC FL MA, OH VA GA OR, PA MI, WI IN NJ LA, MO KS, MN AZ, MD CO TN IA, KY CT, NM, SC AK, AL DC NE AR, ME, OK NH, VT NV, WV HI, ND DE, MS, PR, SD, UT GUAM, ID, MT,, RI WY

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19

141 87 49 43 38 32 30 29 26 24 23 22 20 19 18 17 16 15 12

20 21 22 23

(tie) (tie) (tie) (tie)

PRISONER f, PWA SUBS (included in # of subs) 6 2 4 3 1 (IL) 5 2 (OH) 1 2 (OR) 2 (PA) 7

(tie) (tie) (tie)

5 (LA) 2 (M0) 2 (KS) 1 (MN) 2 (MD)

(tie)

1 1 (KY)

11 (tie) 10 (tie) 9 8

24 25 26 27

7 6 5 3

2 (tie)

29 30

1 (tie) 0 (!)

(tie) (tie) (tie) (tie)

1 1 (AR) 1 (ME) 2 (NV)

M ongueA U n tied is a col M lection of poetry by M five Black gay men, four M American, one British. M It will be available in W the U.S. in february 1988. Martin Humphries--poetry edi tor for Gay Men's Press of London, publishers of To ng ties U n tied — made the following selections from the work of each of the poets and con tributed the biographies. RFV read ers will be familiar with the poetry of Craig Harris, Essex Hemphill and Assotto Saint. Isaac Jackson and Dirg Aaab-Richards are new to these pages and we welcome them Tonguej U ntied is but one manifesta tion of a new culture Black gay men are creating for themselves Joseph Beam's In the U f a : A S ta ck Gan Antho log it is an essential work in this area. The journal S la c k h e a r t , founded by Isaac Jackson and others, also broke ground. Two publications currently available for those in terested in emerging Black gay cul ture are S la ck 'O u t, edited by Joseph Beam, and OtheA Count A i d „ The cur rent issue of S tack'O u t includes articles by Beam, Audre Lorde, Michelle Parkerson, and Gil Gerald, fiction by Barbara Smith, poetry by Assotto Saint, and reviews by Daniel Garrett and Ruth Hall. S tack'O u t is published quarterly by the National Coalition of Black lesbians and Gays, Inc. Subscriptions are $10. Send to S t a c k fOut, P.0. Box 2490, Washington, DC 20013.

CARBON COPY by Assotto Saint as with so many of us father was never there but daddy your shadow's everywhere you are this immense black sun i aspire to all i breathe is fog from those precious photographs mother kept i am your carbon copy america is fuTl of slick black cats whose big dicks sire bastards america is full of black bastards who dream of daddy's big dick how i wa it. for the day we meet i shall kiss blow you mutha-fuckah away

VTRG AAAB-RTCHARVS is a poet and ac tivist who currently works at the London Black Lesbian and Gay Centre. His poetry has appeared in Stackou-t (London) and The V o ic e.

Othea C o u n tries is a new journal of writings and graphics by Black gay men. Daniel Garrett and Cary Alan Johnson were among the editors of Other C o u n tries' premier issue. The issue is available through subscription. Send $6.95 to Other C o u n t r ie s , P.0. Box v 3142, Church Street Station, i New fork, NY 10008. - Franklin Abbott

photo by Martin Humphries 12

EPITAPH by Assotto Saint [for mother] there's a grave in your heart father holed where over & over you lay to bury yourself through thirty years of fits furies & fangs ground zero *

★

here lives she whose womb is a wound

_______________± _____________ ESSEX HEMPHTLL is the author of E arth U f a (1985) and Conditions (1986). He was awarded a 1986 Fel lowship in Poetry from the National Endowment of the Arts. He is also a contributor to the historic collec tion of literature by Black gay men entitled In t h e U f a (1986), edited by Joseph Beam. Hemphill is also the publisher of Be Bop Books, and has been a resident of Washington, D.C., for over 20 years. His poetry has appeared in RFV and Changing Men.

electric fire by Isaac Jackson it's all right to acquiesce to the demands of a people whose history has been undone whose dreams are not dead when you have to be a poet or else you and your people will die it's all right to hear the demands of a sister who has never heard her brother before the father whose son to him is not a man

CRAIG G. HARRIS is a native New Yorker who currently lives and writes in Washington, D.C. His writing career began in 1984 as a news reporter for the New VoAh Na t iv e . Since then his essays, fic tion and poetry have been published in Au Counant, San Windows, S la c k h eax t 3, B lack/O u t, Ce.ntn.al Rank, The P h ila d e lp h ia Tnibunc, Changing ‘'en, Gan Cormunitg Mem, Metn o C hn on icle, P oin t o f View, and RFV, as well as in three anthologies: r’a H L ife (Dol fin/Doubleday), 7»? th e L ife (Alyson Publications), and New 'en, Mac Minds (Crossing Press). He has worked in various editorial capacities at McGraw-Hill, Scholas tic, Avon and Bantam Books.

muscles coiling in defense don't fight the blood acquiesce to the demands of your people everybody has sex organs blacks have no claim on that what is truly black is not nesting in my crotch unwanted parasites your itching is not feeling your scratching is only that pain without understanding bigotry homophobia lies & silence the song is unique and perhaps the singer but the lips and the tongue belong to all humanity don't you dare tell me what to do with them ever yeah it's allright to say that

ASSOTTO SAINT was born and raised in Haiti. He is the author of k i t i n ' To The Love hie Need, New Love Song, B la ck fag and Coupon Queen, which are all theatrical pieces dealing with the lives of Black gay men. He is the lead singer of the band XOTICA, based in New York City. His essay, "Haiti: A Memory Journey," originally appeared in the New Vonk N ative and is anthologized in Nav Men, Ncic Minds: Sneaking Male T n a d itio n . His poetry has appeared in RFV and Changing Men„

p h o t o by A1 r i n d o r

i don't know any other way to say it i can't see the wisdom in writing cool collected prose like Virginia woolf wrote before the war the nazis came anyway don't wait for the storm troopers to recognize the fascism within us all fascism is like an electrical fire burns inside the wall slow sti nky our nerve endings seem the same but further up before the brain the fire grows burning hatred uncontrolled your itching is no feeling it is the electrical fire inside you feel where no one sees until it is too late black people extinguish it distinguish it from what: is really black don11 wait the fire this time the smoke itself will kill you

ISAAC JACKSON was the founding mem ber of the Black gay cultural or ganization, Blackheart Collective, which evolved into the literary magazine B la c k h ea n t. In addition to B la c k h e a n t, his writing has appeared in Gag Community News, The James White Review and the anthology Not Love A lon e.

p h o t o by B e c k o t t Looan

FOR ALL M Y MOTHERS by Dirg Aaab-Richards Gweet Afrique Release my hidden history Of nectar. Blossoms of Solomon Still grace your face dowers perennial And in rebirth.

THE HARDENING OF SOFT MEN (for Richard Bruce Nugent) by Craig G. Harris Lily hits streets in purple pumps with sturdy shaved legs revealed in sheer stockings selling whatever boys buy on sweaty nights when no one's watchi ng Jade graces stages in glittered gowns mouthes melodies to dance steps rehearsed before broken mirrors for singles shoved between brassiere cups and deception

Of orchids Black Who, in ignorance, A generous welcome gave Those who plundered graves Of Kings and our writings of Intellect devoured. Oh dark Titania collect, collect Bring home our share, Reclaim your disinherited heirs And share out among the honeycomb This ambrosia to transform Our drones into caring Queens. So we might (in May) scout, Take flight and swarm to homes Anew; Reassured we are of you. Blessed sod, as you decay Give life to others so that They may fulfill the journey in Godspeed time.

stiletto tongue staccato curses spit in Spanish at strangers who signal the lump at her throat, the stubble at her cheeks

â&#x20AC;˘

Sharing cn â&#x20AC;&#x2122;route with whom they choose to share lessons and skills (each a part) So that we may not leave stones unturned To fester till another year. Don't delay your bloom flower now, time is ripe: So each may see, again; And when in solitude reflect On the mysteries of this - one paradise Where, if 'twere not for greed and lies fnough there would be. Oh, why do they do this to us? See now the wretched, starving still Arms too thin to clasp at prayer. Each is yours O' Mother Earth Till patience thin Address the sin of who collude in the dreams of 'other men' When in melancholy I die in shame at your sweetness, once ignored.

drunken appreciation drawled blessings descend on audiences who applaud the dramatic flare of her performance the identical appearance and mannerisms of the reigning disco diva

Lily counts tens from jobs blown under steering wheels, public trees, fading stars, half moons that turn to sunrise Jade counts bars, measures, hit singles, scratched twelve inches, checks 1 ip synch, lip stick, minutes to showtime.

her bestowal c,r gratuities selfless undaunted by tear :,f violence or arrest sho does not seek affection on steamy streetcorners it is the hardening of soft men she desires

T live in a town where pretense and hone sfnocture prevail as credentials of status and beauty. A town bewitched by mirrors, horoscopes and corruption. I intrude on tin's nightmare. Arm outstretched from curbside. I'm no t po in ting to Zirnbabwe. I want a cab to take me to Southeast so I can visit my mother-. I'm not ashamed to cross the bridge that takes me there.

her performance delivered with pride her message filled with encouragement she does not seek acceptance on smoky stages it is the hardening of soft men she desires

THE F A M ILY JEWELS / lor W ashington, D.C. by Essex H e m p h ill

CHARLIE MURPHY

No matter where I live or what I wear the cabs speed by, fir they suddenly brake a few feet away spewing fumes in my face to serve a fair skinned fare. I live in a town where everyone is afraid of the dark. I stand my ground unarmed facing a mounting disrespect, a diminishing patience, a need for defense Tn passing headlights I appear to be a criminal. I'm a weird looking muthafucka. Shaggy green hair sprouts all over me My shoulders hunch and bulge. I growl as blood drips from my glinting fangs. My mother's flowers are wilting wh i1e I wait. Our dinner is cold by now. I live in a town where pretense and structure are devices of cruelty. A town bewitched by mirrors, horoscopes and blood.

ince Watf-i to Roses was released many years ago, Charlie Murphy has put himself at the forefront of gay men's music, and the music of our times, gender notwithstand ing.

AT THE P E O P LE’S VOICE N " Y ■ by M ichael Mason

His next release was Catch the F i t e , which featured many songs which since have become "classics" among new pagans: "The Healing Song," "Gay Spirit," "Horn ing Times." Then came a delightful collection en titled Cant i d c s o< L ig h t , which contained some suite sing-along-with-able chants, with intricate music;un ship. Quite active in the Seattle area's strident politic concerning U.S. and Central America, Charlie Murphy IS

appeared at the People's Voice Cafe on October 24. 19H7, bringing with him much of his experience to date, in music as well as his life. The People's Voice is a small performance space in league with Washington Square Methodist Church. The room is small, and for Charlie's performance, was packed solid. Me began in a very simple and unpre tentious way, and moved quickly, deftly, into new materials written on trains and buses, moving from one apartment to another. These songs were steeped in introspection and imagery which called to mind how we At 1 pass from one place and sphere into others. One song had a recurring line which went:

[i’Iiii a'ie the binds the onlu ones To si no at * he "a ton’ s c.doo? With the siiahtest bit of, ccaxinq The spin its toi it nise l.iko w is t . These words were sung with such a compassionate strength that it was as if he were pleading with all of us to question this in the same way. WHY have we lost that which is precious to us? Tor WHAT have we traded it? Another song's verse struck a similar nerve with the words:

fweu

the tnees with the deepest toots Cnu cut th tough this nackct o< s a e n c e .

The entire performance was peppered with such antag onist u questions as these. Having spent some time in Nicaragua a couple of years ago, Charlie returned to America with a spoken belief that the struggle go ing on now in Central America is very similar to the struggle in gay rights here and now.

1 knc’.e it is the end. The end goes on (uneven. Pen haps the end c.nti' neven come. Another song ("Fierce Love") asks the questions again abou t what a re we wa it ing for:

The houn is (ate, and it demands hand questions. I t ’ s gonna take a sience (roe to get as home be fone the San g oes lionti. Then again, Charlie showed us his soft side, his spiritual underbelly, with a song whose chorus kept saying,

Love ’ as a bodn, aes it does. Love has a bodn. At the end of his performance (his younger brother accompanying him very aptly and upli ftingly on saxo phone) the audience seemed stunned by the impact. And I, seasoned old poet, felt a new stirring beyond anything superficial and contradictory.... That there IS room here, for all of us. Thank you, Charlie Murphy. Kevin

ered to assemble the Names Project memorial quilt and lay it out on the Mall. The 3' x 6' panels of the quilt had been made with love and tears by people all over the nation to remember loved ones who have died of AIDS. The laying out was followed by a roll call of the names. Every kind of contingent imaginable marched — from radical faeries to leather/SM types. On Saturday there had been meetings and conferences for the dif ferent groups, parties too in the evening, even a mass "Wedding" to protest the illegality of gay/lesbian marriage, held near the Washington Monument. Some faeries wore tasteful camouflage skirts with a rainbow trim which had been made by some thoughtful San Francisco faeries from the Nomenus group.

THE MARCH ON WASHINGTON A BRIEF REPORT by Stuart Norman

It was more of a festive occasion than a protest. Yes, it was a protest too. But we were and still are irrepressible. They can't put us down. We won't buckle under or be somber all the time, even when our brothers and sisters are dying. The whole city of Washington was so festive that weekend, adding a dif ferent flavor to the somewhat staid capital city. And surprisingly there were few reported incidents of violence and blatant homophobia. Even the Christian fundamentalists protesting the march were few in number. It seemed that everyone was supportive.

Then on Tuesday, there was a civil disobedience at the steps of the Supreme Court building. 840 non violent protesters were arrested--anot.her first, being the largest protest against the Court in history. About four to five thousand people attended the rally across from the Court building, offering support. It 650,000 of us by the end of the march, took about eight hours for the police to arrest and larger than any of the great civil rights process the protesters. Primarily the protest centered protests of the 1960s. The park Police estimate of around the Bowers vs. Hardwick case which allows the 200,000, widely reported in the media, was from 9 a.m. states to keep sodomy laws against gay sexual activity. Sunday morning when we were still gathering at the ellipse near House. What does it all mean? We came together in numbers We started offthe onWhite schedule at noon for the 20 block route. It took until 5 p.m. for the last contingent exceeding our wildest expectations. We were proud to to reach the Mall. The Mall is a huge park. We be gay and lesbian, and we made it a fun event. Our filled it. Certainly anyone could estimate there were slogan was "For love and for life, we are not going far more than 200,000 people filling the Mall. But of back." And we made the statement that "We are every course these government estimates are calculated to be where," for those of us who were able to go to the low to minimize political impact. Nevertheless, we march represent millions of us nationwide. We hope outnumbered the entire population of Washington. Washington will never be the same.

he biggest demonstration Washington, DC, has ever witnessed was the March on Wash ington for Lesbian Gay Rights on Sunday, October 11. Gay officials estimated

here hadn't been very much preliminary reporting on the march in the local or national media, which some 0 us wondered might be another attempt to minimize e Political impact of the march. Then after it was over the Washi ngton Post and the Phi 1adelphi a Inqui rer gave the best write-ups, the Post saying "Hundreds of ousands Marched." The New York Times, in its conervative stance, used the police estimates and was un erstandably staid in its reporting, if not somewhat inaccurate.

All kinds o f coalitions and networks were built by every kind of group. New friends were made and old ones greeted. We found our solidarity in numbers and renewed strength to go back to our homes and do some thing for ourselves. We came away stronger and more secure of our place in society. We will make our place. But it will take some time to see what polit ical impact the march has made. The idiotic administration in the White House seems intent on ignoring the needs and wishes of the people. Reagan and his cronies are sheltered from the real world and will only dig a deeper hole than they are already in. They will bury themselves. Then we can hope for better people in power so that the country can get back on its feet. We gays have proven we are politically strong and we can help to elect an ad ministration which could lead our nation into the 21st century, not back into the Dark Ages and feudal power of a few.

_ re the march started off there were speakers whatyin<3 !^f crowc* to remind us of what we are and Je<;<;pW€! ^ ^ âve to do. Presidential candidate Drovfli S°n Was keynote speaker who won our hanHc ,W.unrê came down from his podium to shake Eranci^1-.' n^S* r)t,1er prominent speakers were Sa Gerrv at rj°rmani Massachusetts Congressman San Fra • S ; ^ i f o r n i a Congresswoman Nancy Pel os Smeal nC1S<?j mayoral candidate Art Agnos; Eleanor Women- pêsi.dent °f the National Organization of Earlier ^puzzo» anc* labor leader Caesar Ch n the morning numerous volunteers had gat

V 17

Nor will they have to depend on bars, baths and clubs to meet others of their kind. If they fall in love and become a couple, all of society's legal and moral force will work to keep them together. If we come to gether as a couple, all of society works to pull us apart. They are not forced to carry the stigma which has been made our Mark of Cain; that of being carriers of a deadly disease.

DISCRETION NOT THE BETTER PART OF V A L O R by Terry Boughner

(This a r t i c l e f i r s t a p p e a r e d in the O c t o b e r 1987 issue ° f The G a y N e w s - T e l e g r a p h , P.O. Box 14229A, St. Louis, MO 62178-1229. It is r e p r i n t e d w i t h p e r m i s s i o n f r o m

Forget the truth that AIDS is not a "Gay disease." In the minds of many of the non-Gay majority, it is just that. Remember that it is not what is true but what is believed to be true that matters. To compound things, we are the last minority in this country that it is acceptable to persecute.

the author.]

couple of months ago, I rented a small apartment from friends of mine--a Gay couple. They had the first floor of an old house. I was to have the third. In be tween was a non-Gay man and woman who, I was assured, were "cool". They accepted Gays and "understood". I should have known better and paid attention to the warning bells sounding in my head. If I heard, I did not listen.

My mind kept wandering back to the party and what I had seen and heard there--and at other parties just like it. At how many of them had I acted exactly as Steve and Peter had done--or said little or nothing and convinced myself that I was only being "discreet". How many times had I feared most meeting other Gays or knowing if I did I could expect no support whatever from them--or, if the truth be known, them from me. The sad thing is that we as Gays and Lesbians are not a community by any stretch of the imagination. Many of us are closeted out of fear and prudence. Then there are those of us who are out to one degree or an other. What we find all too often is a fragmented group torn by rumors, gossip, envies, jealousies, hates, shame and fear.

For awhile all was "cool". The non-Gay couple were friendly and really did not seem to care if the rest of us in the house were Gay. Oh God! I should have known better. But maybe I wanted to hear that. Although I'm ashamed to admit it, I wanted their acceptance. I didn't think so, but I guess I needed their affirmation. I should have known better. I should have realized that coming out is a process and not a one-time event.

What is our responsibility? It is this. It is to unite. To do this, we have got to take a leaf from the book of other minorities and demand what is ours-not only from lawmakers— but from everyone else. To do this most effectively, we need determined, vocal and united leadership. We do not have that now. Ideally we need a Gay Martin Luther King Jr. When, if ever he or she will come, heaven only knows. But until then, each of us has got to admit and act on the fact that we have a fight on our hands. The groveling and fawning, the discretion and the prudence have got to stop. If there are sacrifices to be made, as there will be, we have got to make them and pay the price.

As I said, everything was fine. Then, the other evening, the non-Gay couple held a party. My two friends and I were invited. As it turned out, Carol, (not her real name) had told everyone well ahead of time that the guys on the first and third floors were Gay. "Straights wedged between queers" was one of the ways she put it as I later found out. The evening didn't have to wear on too long or the beer and liquor flow too freely before the faggot jokes and the com ments about "AIDS carrying queers" became a little too frequent and a little too loud. I wanted to leave but Steve and Peter decided to "show them that we could be just like everybody else."

What bothers me most about that party is not the nonGays. What I am ashamed of and angry about is the response of my Gay friends--and of myself. But anger is a legitimate emotion and one that we should have and have a right to use. Often, far too often, we _ get angry at the cops or the congressmen or others in authority. This is right. We must remember that in this country it is "We the People" and, as Blacks found out, it is the "People" as individuals who muS be confronted head on.

It didn't work and it never does. All the handshaking, smiles, laughter and general efforts at good will could not overcome what everyone knew. There were three of us in that apartment--at least three--who were ^1I finally left but as I went to bed with the music and voices echoing from below, a number of thoughts went racing through my head. One was of my two Gay friends fawning, almost, it seemed, groveling for acceptance. It was as if they were saying, "If we look and act just like you, can't you pretend that we are just like you?" or perhaps, "If we bow a little lower, maybe you won't kick us as hard?"

For those who would quell at such a confrontation, we have two choices. One is to continue to bow low, hide, offer sweet reason and in all others ways re ^ to face the issue that is forced on us everyday Y neighbors, our bosses, our landlords and our ers non-Gay friends who "understand" us.

The answer to that is that there is no way we can bow that low. The fact is that no matter how hard we pretend that it is not so, we are not as they are. That is the central and inescapable fact. They cannot feel as we do and if they cannot feel it, most cannot fully understand it. Further, they will not lose their jobs because of who they love, nor their homes and often their families.

The second choice is to stand up. Hard? Consider what it was for a Black in Mississippi or Georgia ' do it in the *6 0 's. Yet many of them did and 1 them, we must do it and have a dream. But that no dream will come to reality without a cult and sometimes desperate struggle. 18

With Wisconsin's Gay Civil Rights Bill, the only one in the country, in danger of repeal, we have got to admit that it is time to quit fooling outselves. It is time to admit what we have to face and face it. It is time to say to Gays and Lesbians who are ashamed of themselves, "We are ashamed of you." It is time to say that to our own selves we must be true. It cannot be any other way or we will continue in our nightmare and never reach the mountaintop with our dream.

routine, it means we cease to really think about what we're doing. Which is exactly what the government wants. "Routine" testing is just a first step de signed to lull the public to sleep; mandatory testing will follow. At the same time, Reagan omitted any mention of confidentiality or counseling, which are absolutely essential when testing for something so publicly misunderstood and personally devastating as a positive HIV test. Of course, HIV tests should remain available on a voluntary basis, free and anonymous, for those indi viduals who wish to take it for whatever personal reasons.

NO AIDS U S T

But why conduct mandatory testing for a disease for which there is no cure, no reliable treatment and no vaccine? What's the use of mandatory testing when the only prevention for AIDS is avoiding high-risk activities, moderations that must be made by everyone, whether HIV-positive or not? What would mandatory testing do besides create discrimination against those who test HIV-positive and a false sense of security among those who test HIV-negative? And why waste money on mandatory testing when the government has yet to adequately fund and implement public educa tion about AIDS?

by Bru Dye [Reprinted w i t h p e r m i s s i o n f r o m iss u e #2 of A Q U A ("Anarcho Quee r s U n d e r m i n i n g A u t h o r i t y " ) , P.O. Box 1251, Canal S t r e e t S t a tion, N e w York, N Y 10013]

he so-called AIDS test is no such thing. It does not determine whether a person has AIDS. It merely indicates whether a person has been infected by, and subse quently developed antibodies to, the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV). A The answer to all of these questions is: if we can positive HIV test does not necessarily mean a person focus public attention on mandatory testing, then we will come down with AIDS. Even the Feds have said won't have to talk about SEX. Those pushing hard that, of the people who test HIV-positive, only about for testing are those who, all along, have been 20% to 30% will get AIDS within five years. Meaning squeamish about educating the public in the sexually that 70% to 80% will not. So the test cannot be con explicit terms necessary to get the message across. sidered predictive as to who will develop AIDS. They would rather call for testing than call for free condoms. They are terrified that if we talk about There is some dispute over whether HIV is the cause sucking cock and sucking cl it and buttfucking and of AIDS, but it is believed by most medical researchmenstrual blood and piss and shit and how to have ers to be at least a co-factor, meaning that HIV in safer sex, they will lose their control of a guiltconjunction with some other factor(s) -- drug abuse, ridden public, young people in particular. And then environmental pollution, poor nutrition, emotional where would we be? stress, other infections, etc. -- could result in AIDS. Well, for one thing, we would have fewer people develop AIDS. But these myopic moralists seem more he ELISA test, which the mainstream media continues concerned about flogging us with their hang-ups than to refer to (erroneously) as the "AIDS test", was with fighting AIDS. They still hand us the lie that icensed in 1984 by the Food and Drug Administration abstinence and heterosexual monogamy within marriage on the sole purpose of screening HIV in the blood are the only ways to avoid AIDS. Puh-1ease! supply. The ELISA testing protocol carries this warn ing in bold face type: "It is inappropriate to use SEX DOES NOT CAUSE AIDS. A VIRUS CAUSES AIDS. That’s tnis test as a diagnostic for AIDS." Yet that is why massive education is needed, whether there's test Precisely what many politicians and self-styled moral ing or not. The public should be provided with the es s want to do in order to further their own politi explicit medical information they need to make in llrf.a^!e!?^as • Almost no scientists or public health formed choices. But the sex police don’t want us to to lC1als support this twisted use of the HIV-antibody choose (safer) sex; they want our bodies to remain t!!;.*. . loosely refer to this test as the "AIDS buttoned up and clamped down until after the marriage wish thS thinking on a mass scale. People vows. Next they'll be bringing back chastity belts. ATns ^re to be a foolproof way of knowing who has no " » W^° develop it. At the moment there is To summarize: AIDS is a medical issue, not a moral . . . ’ so frightened people grasp at straws and issue. Testing will not tell us who has AfDS. It reactionaries hold sway. will serve to stigmatize those who test HIV-positive and will give authorities data they can wield for ahnnt nrnrVe !ihe sPectacle of Reagan's recent speech non-medical purposes. It will infringe upon individu dispaco ^ f i r s t devoted exclusively to the al rights in the name of so-called "greater good". dprmv n S1x years after it was declared an epiIt will do almost nothing to slow the spread of the ca 11 p H f 6 speec^ was booed, and rightly so. He disease. Only education can do that. Mandatory rnWant °r*uandat°ry testing of prisoners and imtesting is not based on public health considerations. de^pnH he very Pe°Pie who are most powerless to It is the triumph of moral ism and politics. other n ^ 6 veS le9al1y) a"d "routine" testing of could L U -ui' "R°utine" indeed, as if to suggest who matter-nfSfb y be opposed to something so ordinary anc act. As we all know, when any task become'

celebrates the beautiful and courageous in both art and life. Thrills and danger fuel her narrative pace.

The llampine Lei tat relates the adventures of a vampire who resurrects himself after many years of hiberna tion. He finds America of the 80's clean, wealthy, sensual, adventurous, erotic, and optimistic; freedom is coupled with a "sinless secular morality," This main character was first introduced in Rice's earlier novel hiteAvleti tilth the Vamp-Oie, a story told by Lestat's former lover Louis. The Vamplae Leitat re tells portions of the same story but from Lestat's point of view, and then continues and expands the nar rative. Themes running through this novel include re union, transcendence, and the awakening of archetypes: Carl Jung would have loved this book. The Vamplne Leitat is unabashed melodrama of the high est order in both plot and prose style. The major problem with this book is that the narrative ends at a critical juncture, leaving the tantalized reader hanging in mid-air. A third vampire novel is to fol low, hopefully soon, to satisfy her audience's desire for more of Anne Rice's fantastic imagination.

♦o

SIGNIFICANT OTHERS by Armistead Maupin Perennial Library, Harper & Row, 10 E 53rd St., New York, NY 10022 274 pp., $9.95 Reviewed by Raphael Sabatini Maupin has pulled together another volume of his ver bal comic strips ( T a le i ofi t h e C ity [San Francisco)). THE l/AMPTRE LESTAT by Anne Rice Ballantine Books 551 pp,, $4.50 (paperback)

The T a le i all revolve around a heterogeneous cast of characters who live, or have lived, in the 'quaint little apartment house at 28 Barbary Lane (accessible only by wooden steps).

Reviewed by Woody Black

Michael--principle character--is gay, antibody posi tive and reeling from the death of his lover from AIDS. He.has all the insecurities that we all (gay men) manifest at various points in our own lives. Brian and Mary Ann used to live in the house but s e is now a local TV celebrity. Brian is her bored house-husband who takes care of their adopted chi and enjoys a 'sport fuck' with a woman friend when ever Mary Ann is otherwise 'engaged'. DeDe and D or are two rich dykes with two children, survived the ^ People's Temple (Guyana) experience and are now (1V ing in DeDe's mother and father's mansion. s mother and step-father (Booter) are friends of t e Reagans. A very fat but SEXY woman, Wren Douglas* is on her bock tour and appears on Mary Ann's I» show and is engulfed in the octopus-like story unfolds. Thack, object of Michael's affection,^ap pears like a Trojan, sweeps Michael off his fee (quite literally) and then departs; but that is n the ending. Finally, Mrs. Madrigal, a transsexua sinsemilla smoker, is the landlady and owner o Barbary Lane and the vortex around which ALL tra spi res.

In all her novels Anne Rice creates worlds of romantic grandeur and sensual majesty. Her books are of in terest to gay readers on two important levels. First, her characters create themselves in their own images. They try to set their own standards and map out their lives according to their own ideals. They try not to acknowledge conventional morality or expectations. They do as they please, or must, following their own light. The world's standards for guilt and shame are not their standards. They do have their own morality, however. They have goals which are terribly important to them. It is exciting to read about characters who try to succeed on their own terms, who are able to transform their lives into what they want them to be. Rice's characters are heroic in the best romantic tradition; they stand as inspirational models to the reader. All things are possible! You can achieve your desires! Of secondary importance to gay readers is the fact that her novels are unapologetic celebrations of sensuality and sexuality. Beyond the fact that she creates sympathetically drawn gay and bisexual charac ters, her worlds are fueled by eroticism, most notably homoeroticism. Rice's settings, San Francisco, New Orleans, Paris and Venice, are as lush and over-ripe as her prose style. Her graphic, even lurid, writing

Michael finds Thack, falls in love with with him and then Thack goes away. Brian s SP . fuck' has AIDS and he takes the TEST and is to FREAKED OUT. Wren (sexy but fat lady) has afdaD,or with everyone remotely heterosexual. DeDe an

go to a Wimmim's Music Festival and that puts great pressure on their relationship. DeDe's stepfather has an affair with Wren (sexy fat lady) and gets very entangled with the wimmin's security forces. Mrs. Madrigal stays stoned and keeps it all 'together'.

I realise . . . that many many more people are misfits than we commonly believe. The body that likes itself, that even acknow ledges itself, is probably the exception, not the rule.

This is pablum but very good pablum. A fast read (chapters 1-3 pages long) and I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys Maupin's Tale,6.

As he goes on to describe his work with these people, and his marvelous efforts to uncover the deeper, non sexist and non-homophobic community forms underlying the "shining simplicity" of country dances, I remember all the times I have longed for a gentle, understand ing teacher who would overlook my awkwardness and help me transform a deep love of dancing into rhythm and magic. And I also remember the first time I sur rendered myself completely to the music, how suddenly it didn't matter that I couldn't find a partner, that I was overweight, that I "couldn't dance." There was a power in that moment which swept everything away, when my body, my soul and the music ceased to be separate and became a part of a single harmony.

NEW MEN, NEW MI WPS: BREAKING MALE TRAVITJON edited by Franklin Abbott The Crossing Press, Freedom, CA 95019 220 pp., $9.95 (paperback) Reviewed by Lin L. Elliott Although its general theme (How Today's Men Are Chang ing the Traditional Rules of Masculinity) is displayed boldly on its cover, my initial impression of New Men, New Mindi was one of disorientation. Even with the broader subject-sections into which the text is divid ed, 1 had trouble discerning the pattern within the structure. The juxtaposition of topics seemed almost random. Certainly, I thought, there are some striking selections. A few (Allan Troxler's "Wandering the Woods in a Season of Death" for one) stand out at once and linger hauntingly in memory. Still, I felt lost for the lack of some connecting thread. However, as I continued to read, something began to happen. Subtly, and then more consciously, I began to notice the repetition of concerns, a return again and again to certain ideas, always from a slightly new perspective. Ultimately, like dots of light in a pointillist paint ing, the disparate voices of New Men, New MincU re solved themselves into a coherent whole, but only when I had stepped far enough back to see the entire picture.

Encouraging the graceful ones is satisfying [Wittman writes], but the very very special moments are when joy spreads over the face of a body experiencing flight for the first time. New Men, New MincU is about those moments, and those flights. And it is also about joy . . . and pain. These are the struggles, the triumphs and the defeats, of men who live, by choice or by orientation, beyond the boundaries of the socially accepted roles they were born to . . . who are fighting in large ways and small ones to break the molds of male-supremacy which entrap not only women, but men themselves. It is about end ing the countless spiritual and physical rapes of our sisters, our children, ourselves, and our Mother, the Earth. New Men, New Mind-5 is an extremely important book, a vital antidote to the separatism that too often divides and weakens us. If I had one wish for this book, it would be that it act as harbinger of a new unity, of brotherhood, of an alliance of free men working, in Harry Hay's words, toward "a new . . . subject-subject consciousness sharable by all!"

Voices is the correct word. For what editor Franklin Abbott has done is to assemble a diverse chorus of men which cuts across the categories we use to define and isolate ourselves. There are intellectuals, pro fessionals, and laborers here. Teachers and students, en from rural America, men from New York City, and men from Haiti. The very young and the older and W1j6r' ^adl'cals and not-so-radicals. Both gay men and straight. (My one complaint on the selection would be that bi men, as usual, are noticeably under represented.)

And then we could change the world.

♦O

SEMJOTEXT(E) USA Columbia University, 522 Philosophy Hall, New York, NY 10027 352 pp., $8.95 + $1 postage (paperback)

any of these pieces first appeared in RFV and Cl .en and may be familiar to regular readers o1 d Se ^a93zines. However, enough of the material j ^ ,rom other sources, and the overall context win^ -6je is va^uable, that I don't believe e 1nd meeting these friends again.

Reviewed by Louis A. Colantuono Forced gore of several years ago, our faux-fathers brought forts upon this continent: a new nation, de ceived, illibertied, and dessicated by the prostitu tion that all men create inequal.

unfo tt ^ e n t s in this book which are personally not finHe* * can't imagine anyone--man or woman-these tf1"- ecboes of their past, present or future in danro J °[1es* As someone who has always loved to Dartir ,ut never believed in his own ability, I was where t°uched by Carl Wittman's "Loving Dance," classPQ- escribes the people who have come to his

And now we reengage for a great civil war, testing whether that nation . . . any nation, the whole notion . . . so deceived and so dessicated, can long endure? These texts are meant as a great battlefield in that war. They have come dedicated to this proposition: no final resting place for those who take our lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fit tingly improper that they should do this.

_ *ey had a dreadful time, probably all their *s- he mi’sfits, the weirdos, the klutzes> the queers.

But in a larger sense these texts cannot eradicate, cannot desecrate, cannot hollow that ground. The brave men and women (most living, a few dead) who struggled here have desecrated it far above their poor power to laugh or to attack. That world will little note nor long remember what we say here; but it can never ignore what we did here. (And what we will keep doing, whenever we get the chance . . . )

academic language and I prefer the literary style. The contents are valid and usable according to my ex perience with healing AIDS naturally. Badgley is an M.D. but has apparently embraced acupuncture and Chinese medicine, as others have. The contents of the book have little to do with methods an M„D. learns in medical school. Herbs like garlic, Echinacea, Chinese licorice, thyme, shitake mushrooms and wheat grass are ones he suggests using. (There are many others to use.) Homeopathy, acupuncture/acupressure and chiro practic are his treatments. Vegetarianism, raw foods are his menu. Metaphysics, meditation and a New Age lifestyle are his way of dealing with a spirit which has lost its way in the fast lane. The book is ex cel 1ent.

It is for us, rather, to be here dedicated to the great acts remaining before us, and take increased de votion to that cause for which some have given the last full measure of devotion. That we here highly resolve that none of this shall be in vain; and that from that nation we shall have a new birth of freedom; and that that government that offs the people, buys the people, forks the people, shall soon perish. Just desserts.

Pa LichoimnunAXy is written by several people and edited by Jason Serinus, a man of good spirit. The book ad vocates herbs, vegetarianism, meditation, acupunture/ acupressure, raw foods, macrobiotics, homeopathy and the Hippie-New Age lifestyle. Of special interest are his interviews with PWAs. Their comments on support groups are peculiar and interesting. (Badgley has similar comments.) Serinus has also captured an es sence of the Gay Culture which was spawned at HaightAshbury in the Summer of Love. The emergence of gays as healers of disease and agents of cultural change is apparent in this book.

I have elected myself to review this lovely, large formatted paperback book that is of interest to many of us who want to see a positive change in this coun try's wrong religious attitudes towards others; we are tired of its pseudo morality on human sexuality and its new crooked politics, used as laws against us all by rightwing religious gangsters! This book has been made up from over 200 contributors, among them A. J. Wright, Antler, Amy Gertler, Allen Ginsberg, Hakim Bey, Charley Shively, Kevin Esser and many more people who are too numerous to list individually in this review, but who continue to struggle against the narrow minded opinions that the suppressors of others call "Morality." S e m io tz x tlt) USA could well be called the Sears and Roebuck catalog of the American Underground! [Editor's note:

One of the last sections of this book is a channeling by "John" on psychoimmunity as energetic medicine. This information is in keeping with the contents of the "Yellow Emperor's Classic of Internal Medicine" . . . the ancient Chinese medical encyclopedia written 5,000 years ago. I highly recommend this section to health care professionals and to those who research medical phenomena.

C o l a n t u o n o is o n e o f the c o n t r i b u t o r s

f o u n d in this book.l

«*>

Conqu&sUng AWS Novo has many fine sections to read. Its chatty style and dramatic language annoy me but the contents are first rate. Excellent exercises of an energetic nature. Some truly amazing exposures of the chemicals in food can be found on pages 112, 129 and thereabouts. After reading this, go into a super market and read the list of ingredients on boxes and cans of "food." You will walk out never to return.

HEALING ATVS NATURALLY by Laurence Badgley Human Energy Press, 370 West San Bruno Avenue, San Bruno, CA 95066 P S Y C H O i m i N I T V ANV TH E H E A L IN G PR O CESS

Meditating on your body parts is an old technique of healing from Tibet and those parts. Shakti Gawain has written a book on this technique called ViAuaZizcution. Badgley, Serinus and Gregory and Leo nardo all mention the techniques found in CfitaiAOZ Yi,iaaLizcution (Bantam New Age Press).

edited by Jason Serinus Celestial Arts Press, Box 7327, Berkeley, CA 94707 CONQUERING AIVS NOW by Scott Gregory and Bianca Leonardo Tree of Life Publications, 513 Wilshire Blvd., #244, Santa Monica, CA 90401

Now for the weakness. Each of the books discusses the dangers of chemical foods and modern chemical medi cines. Yet each of the authors praises his/her own brand of chemistry; food supplements, amino acids, synthetic vitamins, selenium, chelated minerals, chlorox, and so forth. To me this is an incompre ^ sible paradox: to recognize the dangers of test nutrition on one page and to praise it on the ne*,'eSS The same process which gave us thalidomide and a babies, poisonous food additives and cancer, is damned and praised simultaneously. The human rac evolved while eating food for 100,000 years. " Y we abandoning food now?

Reviewed by Charles E. Hall, Ph.D. (aka Crazy Owl) At last there are three books about how to heal AIDS. All three are wholistic, vegetarian, New Age and say about the same thing. This is a book review by a practitioner of traditional healing methods, mainly Chinese, who has helped six people return to health over the last five years. I welcome these books to the market and recommend that the worried well and PWAs read them all. Each of them has its particular strong points and, in my view, one singular weakness.

For me, and many others, food does not come fr^ ® test tube. It grows in the ground, has green and is grown organically. The Mother-Father-jO^ it for us in our Garden of Eden.

The listing of titles is according to my own personal preference. H ealin g AJVS NcutuAalltj is written in

On pages 214-215 of Conqu.eAA.ng AT VS Nou), there is a list of 185 nutritious "natural ingredients" found in pollen. These are all the "natural ingredients" which chemists have located in pollen until now. Pollen . . . both "bee" pollen collected by bees and "flower" pollen collected by vacuum cleaners . . . is the male essence of plants. Pollen has all the in gredients necessary to generate life, except the female essence. Surely there is more nutrition in pollen than in all the world's chemistry labs put to gether. When the chemists can put small bits of this chemical and that chemical into a test tube and make a baby alligator then I will believe they understand nutrition. I might even eat their "food." Until then I will be a Crazy Owl and eat "Health Food."

next. The quality of writing in the collection is sterling and the diversity of the stories is almost boundless. James Purdy's "The Candles of Your Eyes" portrays a loving relationship whose ending is so tragic that I just sat in amazement at its conclusion. David Leavitt's "Dedicated" is a story about two gay men and their female friend and all the 'hassles' involved in a three-way relationship. (This story also ap peared in his F m tlij D ancing,) Brad Gooch's "Spring" is an exemplary adolescent coming of gay age story, warm and sensitively told. "Stavorgin" by Noel Ryan was so intriguing that I went to the literary criti cism area in my library (yes I confess T read the collection at the reference desk) to better understand Dostoevsky's principle character in The Po44CA6e.d. Armed with a plot analysis, I returned to Ryan's story and repeatedly broke into laughter (right there in the reference room.) When I finished the story--I wanted to stand up and proudly scream "I'm GAY" to all the library patrons but I restrained myself. However, T felt so good that I forged on into the rest of the collection. While "Sex" by Jane DeLynn is told from a lesbian's perspective, gay men will readily identify with the main character's lament:

♦o

SURPRISING MYSELF by Christopher Bram Donald I. Fine, Inc., New York 424 pp., $17.95 (clothbound) Reviewed by Richard Oloizia First-novelist Christopher Bram has written a gay coming-of-age story centered around Joel Scherzenlieb, his lover Corey Cobbett, and Joel's family. Set in New York as well as rural Virginia, Bram's novel traces the evolution and growth of Joel and Corey's relationship, placed in the larger context of Joel's relation to his mother, father, sister, brother-in-1aw and grandmother.

What I like best are Straight women who don't really want to go to bed with me, who are basically disgusted by the idea of sleeping with a woman, who are so ashamed of doing this they make me swear never to tell anybody they went out with me, but who nonetheless do go out with me--because I'm so terrific in bed. Because on top of my other terrific qualities I forgot to mention the most important one of a 11 — I just may give the best head in the world. (Those of you out there who have slept with me will know what I'm talking about.)

SuApnAAing My&eZ^ is a very personal book. Joel's family is offbeat, unique, caring and human although the marital difficulties between Lisa, Joel's sister, and Kearney, her husband, occupy more of the reader's attention than they need to, the portrait of the family that Bram presents is absorbing and satisfying. Joel and Corey's coming together as a couple, of course, is the most gratifying aspect of the novel: the evolving interdependence of the two young men, and their emerging maturity and self-awareness is movmg and affirmative.

DeLynn's story is short, crisp, pithy and hits very very close to home. Yves Navarre's "Allan Bloom" concerns itself with a U.S. Senator by that name visit ing Mexico City on 'business'. He finally picks up a trick at 2 a.m. and spends some dirty furtive moments in a very seedy out of the way hotel where his Mexican trick tells him NOT to drink the water. Senator Bloom is PARANOID to the hilt and we are forced to feel pity for this very sorry trapped animal. Finally (if the Book Review Editor will permit) Andrew Holleran re turns us to the streets and baths of New York City to attend the funeral of a friend in "Ties". His travelogue of his favorite sights, sounds and bodies is little diversion from his chilling experience:

^ram s characters could have been more fully developed, and the plot of the novel sometimes wanders a bit. onetheless, SuApAA^ing Mij&elfi succeeds in effectively an, insightfully portraying a real, believable family n ^wo credible, likeable gay men. 0 ^ 0 FIRST LOVE/LAST LOVE: Rv FICTION FROM CHRISTOPHER STREET p 1ted k,y Michael Denneny Pnn^M6!-800^ ’ Fenguin Publishing Co., pop Madls°n Ave0, New York, NY 10016 288 PP., $8.95 (paperback)

. . . he feels he has not taken a full breath since he entered the chapel; that the air is heavier here, oppressive, weighty, and thick. This is not happening, he thinks. This is not the reason we gather together. We get together for parties, for beaches, for dinner, for fun. But there is the casket being wheeled down the aisle, through the dense, airless room.

Reviewed by Raphael Sabatini

ButtwaifCOlleCM on of short stories! P L E A S E ! the srrnwnn0t dust an°ther collection of short stories; And oh . vo^jme °F fiction from CkAtAtcpheA StA eet.. wnat a collection it is!

This is a superb collection of stories and I recommend it to all.

comDi?LJenne?y ’ ®dltor o f FAA.it L ov e/L en t L ove, has lauqhinn ! ,Se ecti?n of stories that will set you to y one point and bring you to tears at the 23

the. mad houMJJjtteA has a good day by M i c h a e l H a t h a w a y

Gary Gilman

coffee's dripping into this a day w/out clocks nobody wants me/I can listen to echoes all morning talk informally w/the turtle in Amber's flower garden share wheat crackers & popcorn write dear Suzanne w/out hurry-up/tel1 her about this clockless day how the cat's asleep in the b r e a d box/bow wow something is right w/the world

You reach for me. You reach for the hollow thumping on the mattress of our hearts. You ask me from behind fast hard questions (I will not be mentor). You grin from another room that I should come to you. You try to say Tendencies but you swallow, don't say it. You wait for me to speak... What should I say?

When The,

Fae

by Bob F i s h

When the faeries hiss it is not in contempt. They are voicing solidarity with your new-found belief. Yes-s-s-s-s, they say, We have been where you have been. Yes-s-s-s-s, and well-come. Your arrival is cause for a party.

Trn

â&#x20AC;˘/ ' *

When the faeries hiss they confirm your judgment, compliment your finery and renew your courage. They guide your footing to the forest circle, standing 'long the path with tiny lights. When the faeries hiss it may be a warning a rattle alarm to waken your reckoning. Thi s-s-s-s-s is the sumac you had best avoid. This-s-s-s-s is the trap where your thoughts are leading. When the faeries hiss they are casting their blessings, hoofing it lightly in a widening spiral. S-s-s-s-sing when the melody comes to you. S-s-s-s-smile it's the cheapest, most natural high. On and on till the charm's fully wound, kicking up clouds of the fine-grained earth. And here is the most astonishing secret: Their famous dust? It is not truly gold, just everyday dirt transformed.

kwJcujm by Assotto Saint a lone old man stood in the sunset his galabia big with wind frowns of dirt * dried up sweat crowned by a koufia chipped teeth yellow with years ft the softest eyes "american" he asked "welcome tomorrow carriage take you to karnak temple of luxor val1ey of the queens valley of the kings very cheap cheap thirty pounds no why want sex me big 1ike horse" he grabbed my hand pressed it hard on h is hard-on i smiled kissed both his cheeks & strol1ed along he laughed cursed in mad arabic then neighed some strange tune to the moon

(fll The. teubb&crfh by larry d. burk *io11 ■ it i.ir quiet hillside even with mv eyes < 1osed as we rock together, i watch the edge o' the black morning turn softly blue and feel love becoming shared heat, and hear our two syncopated miracles gradually become a single breath, jesus, we should come together on this Sunday daybreak, spilling our offerings thigh upon thigh; a living altar, and let the golden rising find us in sacramental posture, making our softfelt dance for the magic sun.

(u n title d ) by Steven Finch c'heep eat their own fleece and on one of my pubes you almost choke to death.

Sky PeJich by Glen M a r t i n Soft and firm--but cold! 1 see you siide about hissing everything below, Sven what the sun can't see.

The. VTxnng VmZ by Leo J. Cooper

He must be part fish too. How he bobs and sinks and bounds, 'a, I could splash with him, Rut T don’t.

Some boys of summer are as bored as the sun kissing their napes like a tangle of torn video tapes melting in abstract porno-lust in need of a hero's stance

>f I were you I'd move in close. Offer him your back to ride. -.how him where his gills should be And how to flick a tail.

Here one dares to be the first to leap naked down down into creek waters emerald uncertainty

[ d nibble at the moss hat round his nipples runs 0r trace it down his chest, s navel and beyond.

He steps out 9, he pi unges ... Yeeeaaahhh... a brave stunt ?a Too-roo! Splash

* 1 could get that close 1 would-Instead I linger here orturing my toes.

He paddles back, a star to the pool's edge, laughing, a glistening film of droplets ^alls off tanned teenage skin to wet *< goad his mates into ACTIO!!

° nut you! '.'hat's stopping 1 dally here with mp. lake waves with Neptune's ^ d kiss him since I can' 25

by L. E. W i l s o n anticipation: completion the treadmill of discontent a memory: (jrey-misted sky haloed streetlamps air moving soft, lifeless as lint touching cheeks, touching jaw tracing ear to chin moisture 1ingeri ng waiting: unstable in desire you made an unsteady cornerstone quite a poor bargain a bad investment of emotion tarnish on my heirloom silver sky completion: sought in spite of you a burden of stone, no foundation no sterling purity, no hallmark anticipation: rid of you, free! completion: a sigh, a smile and destination: unknowable, but near

â&#x20AC;˘

The boy I call "Sir Michael" reminds me of Wilde and his Lord Douglas, of Isherwood and Don Bachardy. This boy's smile pulls me back to phobias and dead ends, to priorities on his side of 20. He is Cancer and of a brooding moon, the Page of Cups full of quick imagination and the gift of dream. To him bowling pins are teeth that grin, apple blossoms a second snow in spring. No sense of smell, other senses and his psyche work double time. With his heart he rushes headstrong in his Camero and wants companion now in his new direction. I ease him slowly into me channeling his energy down the years, the faces and other passages that will lead him to himself. We make a pact over the wire in five years time we will ride out to some autumn orchard and watch the sky burn sunburst and fall back into ribbons of dark. We will both be in sync with the season not counting the difference of our hours, days or years. He is a jeweler, wears a pinky ingot that shines but does not hide the coarseness of his nails and scarred hands. His history a Canadian adoption, uncertain of his mother or any old world connection. I whisper he is no less than archangel. He has taught me today in his free flow of words that allegory and simile do not exist only in the world of my poetry. Says once he felt alone on an endless plain, on the brink of disappearing into a world of glass. Now we are separate seats whirling on a ferris but joined at the hub. Says he knows this as truth, says he can read me and make the connection that we are the same. This boy asks my love and to make him a man.

You lay your dark hand on his shoulder--the shadow of a willow's 1imbs.

by Patrick Hammer

by Steven Fin c h

by Michael J. E m e r y he feared he'd be seen NW of the Copper Ridge Dolomite heading frantically towards Norris Lake, nodding at slices of light east & west of me, what direction to take? I can't fly south with his terror, waiting till the edge of spring brings on a calmer tune within him, going down 8 down a well 8 hiding beside him-can I live with that? all right, so his hands amuse themselves for now, forking my pork & vegetables past the axes of his teeth. wi11 that last 5 years, even 3 months? by degrees, the shreds of stained relations may turn on us, blank out our wel1-1 it love. yet here, near this lake, he occupies a quad closed off from others, they film over in his mind 8 suddenly he stands 145 steps closer to me, but still 1? away. 26

Vhjozm VeyeXahteA by Win t h r op Smith Emotions slowÂ ly helped to thaw, Your frozen feelings Taken from their box

The. BuAled

And brought to boil Once more; inside A slow disturbance Spreads, disturbance knocks

by A lan A tkinson

At memory, Your memory Whose icy center Breaks apart at last;

The sand has buried you. Gophers scarcely scratch the surface. When you slit your throat, blood lamentations dribb 1ed from your mout.h. I got sick and vomited for a lifetime.

Like other things You've tasted once more flavoured with the past.

So do n't 1oo k to me for san ity. I've built a life around revenge. So what! I'm free, a builder, a lover, a hater...

njidmod city

Now, somewhere in this desert in the moonl ight, rock weights hold my feet. Cactuses swell, their green roots sucking my eyes. And, Mother dear, I'm thinking about forgiving you, trying to do something for my soul.

by Winter 0. Calvert insomniac nights disintegrate on the sidewalk like footsteps i have left behind. tucking these cold fragile >10urs into my coat i hold back the wind :t;e terrible words: isolation, loneliness ri lOW sky hovers overhead

pressing down on the moment

the hungry cold nibbles at my thick skin insistent n:â&#x20AC;&#x2122; '^ke the clouds, for answers.

At Might by A l a n Howard they go to bed with windows open. after dark they climb out, do and go and take things too far, then cl itnb in again, sit at the desk until daybreak, making a list of lies they've told themselves.

THE CANARY SINGS A REMEMBRANCE OF JU A N ’S DEATH by Gary Hampson It lived on Juan's ceiling but pervaded every surface of his room with its all-embracing tentacles. Juan asked it who it was and what it was doing in his room. To his surprise, it answered as indignantly as Juan had asked, and proceeded to question Juan on who he was and what he was doing here. Juan took up the challenge and soon they were engaged in a very in teresting, intelligent conversation. Indignation, fear and caution turned into mutual respect which it self turned into acceptance and finally love. It dawned on Juan that this creature was in fact, the long-lost lover he had been looking ror all his life, and the creature realised that it felt the same way towards Juan! How overwhelming this feeling was! At last, they had found each other.

t is a great privilege to have known Juan during his last year. It is an even greater privilege to have been present at his death. I would 1 ike to share some o f my memories and thoughts with you. I first. net. Juan on the minibus to day Men's Week last year and I was instantly attracted to him. */e had a very interesting conversation on the way uo about alternative healing and the a n ge r tie felt towards the orthodox medical profession, and I knew that I would want to spend more time wi t h him. And so, from then on, except for a break during autumn, I spent about one day a week with him. I wanted to support him in his wish to take full re sponsibility for himself, and in his hel iefs in the forms of healing he was pursuing. I wanted to give him all that I could during the time I was with him.

ro me, this strange and cunning creature was HIV. ''nd so I knew that at some level luan had finally ac cepted his fate: he now, ie only in his unconscious, embraced the entity that was interwoven with his own self. ror the first time, he loved his enemy, the war was over, his karma fulfilled.

It became apparent that one important part of his s e l f healing process was the writing of his diary. Being keen on writing myself, this became of special in terest to me. The possibility for Juan of having one of his works published was a strong contradiction to the "frustrated artist" within him. It would also carry a totally honest and important message for soc iety.

A few weeks later, he was living with Caroline and Howard who provided a very comfortable and supporting environment. He could no longer look, after himself. rive days into his stay, I received a call. Juan was on the point of dying.

It was also apparent that he needed a lot of compan ionship. This too would contradict a pattern: lone liness. fortunately, as time went on, more and more people began spending time wifh him.

Despite my hunches, despite my intuition, I was sur prised. I was confused. I didn't know what to do. I had promised my mum that I would visit her that day. and she wasn't on the phone. But after talking it over with my friend Craig, I had no hesitation. I ran to the tube.

However, one aspect oi his healing that was never fully dealt with was the reclaiming of his unhappy childhood and his feelings towards Argentina, His homeland. Although a number of us took on the role of counsellor with him, I thin! he never really worked on this material sufficient1v; I think he never felt totally safe.

HIS LAST DAYS 'rhe Bakerloo Line to Dueens Park saw me in a dis tressed state. I had to write my thoughts down: "I feel unexpectedly emotional. Regret^l and tearful and angry - I DON'T IfANT HI" TP DIr BEFORE I GET THERE!" Regrets about not sufficiently valuing the preciousness o f each moment r had had with him. I had known he was dying. Why hadn't I visited him sooner? Why hadn't I trusted my intuition? 0, THE "RFC!r'HSNrr,S nr THr «0*,r»jTi

THE DREAM I rirst became aware that something fundamental had changed in Juan's condition a fter he told me of the dream he'd had the previous night. It involved a creature, circular in shape - about 5 cm in diameter. 28

in the palm of my hand. He liked this a lot; he said I had healing powers. I was happy just being with him, the gentle breeze outside, the air aided by the ionizer he had just purchased, the serenity of this pi ace. And so it was on the last night Howard woke me at 3 a.m. and I started my shi^t '-'ednesday morning. This would be my last day with him as I was going to Scot land the following day - I was going to be away for 3 weeks in all. The last time I would be able to see Juan was that afternoon.

A NEW JOURNEY BEGINS After a morning break in Earl's Court, I returned at 12:30. Howard had had an easy morning because Juan was quite doped and was sleeping soundly. In fact, he was sleeping on his back - the first time in many months. Lunch was ready early; we took our vegetable soup up stairs so that we could sit with him. He talked to ourselves and felt a little concerned that Juan might choke: he was gently gurgling some blood and his mouth was frothing slightly with some foamy stuff brought, up from his throat. But he was so unusually restful that we decided to leave him in this position unless he actua11y did begin to choke.

,=*■

l/e stopped talking and turned to look at him - almost for no apparent reason - and we held our gaze in stillness for a moment. He was alive as we looked. Nothing had changed; nothing was changing. Just peaceful gurgles.

But Juan had noj. died by the time I arrived. In fact, I ended up spending two nights and several afternoons by his side in the comfort of Howard and Caroline's home, which was now Juan's home too. They provided a wonderfully supportive environment.

And then as we looked, as we gave him our quiet, lov ing attention, he stopped breathing.

If Juan had given me a gift during the year, it was magnified manifold during these last five days. He allowed me a wonderful opportunity to be still, to flow with the moment, to listen to the breath of the day, just to be.

We held our gaze for perhaps another minute and then Howard said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" and I said, "Yes: I think he's stopped breathing." We went over to him, I rested my hand on his chest, Howard felt his pulse. Rut it was only our own heartbeats that we could feel. Juan had died and it was beautiful.

The strict macrobiotic diet phase, the bitter herbs, the painful acupuncture needles were all behind him now. He was on painkillers. He wanted to die in comfort.

What a most perfect moment to choose! How exquisite his timing, the finale of his last act! I value this experience. Thank you Juan for choosing to die in my presence: a priceless honour.

Surrounded by cushions, he sat cross-legged, leaning forward slightly, wearing his light blue track suit and a crystal around his neck. He found other postures uncomfortable and consequently had diffi culty in sleeping. He ate only a small amount - most ly Howard's delicious vegetable soup. During his last weeks, he had really appreciated rine ■rood.

Howard went downstairs to the phone. I shortly went into the front bedroom and sat down near Juan's canary. Suddenly it started panicking, jumping from one perch to another in a rather frenzied fashion. I looked at it and became aware of Juan's presence. And then - just as suddenly - it stopped panicking and started singing: rather brilliantly. It was only the second time it had sung here - the first being when Juan had come into the front bedroom and we had had Radio 3 on a few days previously.

He would be with friends - one or two at a time - day and night. He cleared up any unfinished business he had with them. He was learning to receive love. But Juan still had difficulties, ^ne of the things he said during this period was that he felt like he was waiting on a railway station - he'd been waiting there a long time, not knowing when the train is going to come, or indeed, not quite remembering what train had got him there in the first place. All he knew was that he had to wait. Over the last two years he had been learning to be patient with life. Now he had to be patient with death.

The canary was singing and I knew Juan had finally gone. His journey now lay elsewhere

[Reprinted w i t h p e r m i s s i o n from G A M U T ("Gay A l t e r n a tive Men Under Trees"), 34 P u e e n s d o w n Road, L o n d o n K > 8 N N , t.'nqland]

We would sit together. Maybe there would be some gentle lute music playing. I would hold his forehead 29

PIRITUALITY

'^ k

* V —I >

■ " : i lip LI-: M(K)N"

B7 Don ilru is tro r:)

A SEASON OF QUIET CHANGE by Don Engstrom he Winter Solstice reminds us year after year that seasonal change is constant in our part of the world. No two Winters are ever the same, but vet we are always visi ted hv the Gods and Goddesses of Winter. The Winter Solstice or Yule, is the time of return, the sun has begun its long climb bach into the skies of renewal. This is the festival o^ the newly lit flame, the newborn child, the evergreen tree of eter nal life. It is the time of new beginnings. In the Neo-Pagan tradition, Yule is the yearly time of rebirth for He They who have died on the Fall Equinox. This is the time when He./They are reborn through Gaia, the Earth Goddess, into freshly formed bodies and new worlds. His/Their names are many and unending. 30

The Sun God, The Green God, The God of the hew1 . (muted See-. The Horned God, The Dancing God, The God of Lust and Sex

rebirth

"he Purple God, The Sinqinq God, The God of Silver Snow, The fairie God, The Or earn inq God, The God of frozen Givers...

These are names that, tell o r the everchanging never endinq cycles o f life upon our plann+ . These are names o* power and trans%raation. These names are our own names wait ing deep within us.

Her

-v < * * * *

y A v

'he March on Washington PC. has shown us that our dreams of change are a reality within our grasps. !t has demon"trated in no uncertain terms that. Queer neoole are a people n c love, beauty, and power. Me have seen curse1ves as a people faithfu 1 to eac^ other, with the will to change cur se1ves and the world. i'e have experienced ourselves as a sa cred people whose tine has cnr^e. ,'e have learned tha? now is our Yule time or renew al. Gaia is waiting for the

The Snow fairies have heard our cries. The Spirits of Winter are calling all of the many strains of the disease called homophobia into the dark healing halls of death to be transformed in to new loving ways of living on the farth. These same spirits are calling us as in dividuals into a time of stillness, healing, and re birth. We are being born in to our Queer °owers. So as we slide into the quiet of Winter, lot us remember to rest and to nourish our new born selves. This does not mean that we will forget the solid strength of our Autum nal Harvest, for we have worked hard and long to fill our pantries with the bounty of ioy. But wo deserve the peaceful dreams of Winter. It is the t ime to plan our Spring gardens while we sit t)y the f ire d r in \inq ho t pep permint tea and honey. It. is the time to start the tender seed]ings of change in our warm greenhouses, seeing with our mind's eye the lush flower beds of Oueerness they will become.

A \

■ if

>r iki >'/.< g k !•; !■:

Children.

With such a great harvest of love and energy stored against the '.-.'inter storms, what can Yule promise us? ’.'hat lo wo know of fiat needs transformation? We know about the burr r of AIDS. We know about the re ject inn and denial of our humanness by mainstream cul ture. We hear the cries for renewal coming from the core of our being. We know the need for healing and change.

Yule speaks to us as individu als in Queer Community, l.'e are beginning to recognize the cyclical nature o r >ui own lives, our love a fairs, outjoys and sorrows. And as a Queer Community, we (rave :ust experienced one aspect of the cycle of our people. He have been a part of a Groat Autum nal Harvest, the March on Washington, DC., the harvest that prepares us ror the '.'in ter Solstice. rhe March was a time for us to claim t.tie fruits of our labors. It was a time ror us to celebrate our livinr and our dead. »t was a time to celebrate our tears, our lauqhter, our courage, and our pain. It was crom fhese seeds that we planted a qarden of hope. And on October l1, 1907, we reaped a harvest o f abundance, love, and inspiritment. exceeding all expectat ions.

' teor

!)<Sn

no:

HAPPY YULE TO US ALL!

Our roots have grown deep into our fertile past.. Qur arms are reaching into a future of challenge and growth. We will he a M e to ac cept and to cherish the transformations of Yule growing within our hearts and communities. The Mew Gun of Winter will nurture us in ways we have never imagined possible, 'he bowling Winter winds will sing us songs of sleep as we lie in our lovers’ arms. Purple Hands of ‘tealing faggot God rairie God Mv Love Come to us

Nov/ I a fourfold vision see, And a fourfold vision is given to me; 'Tis fourfold in my supreme delight And threefold in soft Beulah's night And tv/ofold always. May God us keep from Single Vision and Newton's sleep 4

- u w Ri'ahc

SOME PERSONAL THOUGHTS ON BEING POLYTHEISM byASLin L.AE llioWAY OF tt f-t t

I ■

W hen 1 waS in hl'gh schoo"1 and college (not ■ S0 very 1ong a?0 ^ one ° f tlie favor1te Tate m night heavy philosophical questions was "Do you believe in God?" Being, for the most part, children of university professors and intellectuals, we considered it somewhat risque and shocking to admit that, yes, we held such an irrational belief. It had the same kind of rebellious attraction that atheism must have held for radicals in our grandparents' day. I had my fling with Catholicism -- although I was more attracted to Mary and the Saints -- and even toyed with the idea of converting to Judaism. But something was always miss ing. It was not until my late teens, when I was struggling with the issue of my sexual directions, that I also began to notice a fundamental religious difference between me and the people around me. Not that my 'eelings had changed, just that I was becoming more conscious Margot Adler has written, in Draw ing Down the Moon that in our culture it is sometimes easier to talk about the most intimate sexual matters than it is to honestly discuss our feelings about m ■ 1

religion. That may or may not he true, but at that point in my life, double closeted as it were, I wasn't about to mention either.

With objectivity comes a subject-object split which alienates people from the world and reduces them to mere observers in a cosmos of discrete objects, the sole possessors of spirit in a world of profane matter. God, if he exists at all, is transcendent, totally apart from flawed and fallen creation. Exploitation, in such a situation, is not only possible but seen as tantamount to survival.

Because the truth is that my first, instinctual, offthe-top-of-my-head answer to the question "Do you be lieve in God?" has always been, "Which one?"

♦

Polytheists have many ways of conceptualizing their deities, but common to them all is the experience of immanence. The goddesses and gods are living forces in a living world. There is no such dichotomy as animate-inanimate: everything, elementals, plants, and animals alike partake of divinity. We can find the god/desses in nature, in a city, or inside of ourselves.

For the past two thousand years the dominant cultures in the West have been monotheistic. Many writers have documented in great detail the effects of this domina tion, which has stamped all of our institutions with the shapes of one-dimensional thinking. (My intention here is not to do a detailed critique of monotheism. I suggest that interested readers begin with Margot Adler's Drawing Down the Moon for a good overview of the subject and an excellent bibliography.)

♦

So pervasive has this worldview become that many of us are unable to see except through its vision. An alter native to this mono-think exists, but it has been so consistently denigrated -- for centuries non-JudeoChristian religions have been labeled "superstition" or "satanic" and vigorously persecuted out of practice -- that to recover the alternative we must learn to step outside of mono-think, to forsake our universe for a broader and more fertile multi-verse. ♦

♦

In our circles, in our rituals, in the forest, in Mother Garth Herself, we meet and commune with our god/desses. The Pagan Priestess, in one instance, performs the ceremony of Drawing Down the Moon, and becomes the Goddess. We don't blindly believe 1n our deities, we live with them, and in them -- and they live in us.

♦

Polytheism is radically different even from the "broad-minded acceptance" of even the most liberal of Christian-oriented sects. "There is truth to be found in all religions," they say, or "There are many paths to God." Polytheism denies even this. There is not one Godhead wearing different aspects; there are many deities. The multi-verse is discontinuous and diverse, and there is no need to reduce it all to one explanation or find a first cause. For this is the discordant shifting reality revealed by the escape from mono-think. Everything is flux. Not only is there no single Path to Enlightenment, there is no single destination. Or in other words, as Native American scholar Jamake Highwater has written, "There is no truth, but there are many meanings." The world is alive again: every tree, every stone, stream, and mountain has its own spirit; every people and every land their own gods. But in coming to life existence loses its ability to be easily grasped or succinctly explained. It slips through the holes in our linguis tic nets.

My childhood was filled with stories of the gods, Fdith Hamilton, Bui finch, and Homer were my favorite sources. How much more real these personages seemed than the distant and antiseptic God of my grandparents' church. At one point I even created my own mythology, complete with creation myths, pantheon, and a cycle of stories. It is long since lost, but I was already moving in a °agan mindset, where each person and each group are free to evolve the forms which are most meaninqful to them. It is an important polytheistic insight that all deities are valid, and that no deities are valid. ♦

♦

Christianity requires an act of faith, to be sustained in spite of the lack of direct contact between the God and his worshippers. Polytheism is based not on dogma and faith, but on experience. Starhawk, a Wiccan Priestess and writer, has responded to the question, "Do you believe in the Goddess?" by asking "Do you believe in stones?" It is not, in other words, a question of belief.

I remember when I was a boy, trying unsuccessfully to accurately throw a softball , I often mouthed a silent prayer to Diana to guide my aim. She didn't do much for my throw — even deities have limits -- but I very often felt a consolation from those prayers, a gentle assurance that my talents lay elsewhere, that I was meant for something else. It's been many years since then, and I have yet to fully own that sense of worth, but I still feel the presence in bleak moments, soft as a whisper in my ear from behind. "Kid, you're still okay."

♦

Polytheism, as defined in the dictionary, means "" be lief that there are multiple deities." That is a one dimensional truth: It thrusts a pin through the butterfly's heart in the interest of keeping her still.

The goal is to become once more a part of life, energy dancers unbound by linear time or static space, magicians, jesters, world hoppers, dreamers, shape shifters. Lovers. Love is the law. "I have come to tell you," in the words of the Goddess Eris, "that you are free."

Isaac Bonewits, the author of Real Magic, and one of the leaders of the neo-Pagan community, has commented that polytheists tend to develop systems of thought around the magickal idea that each sentient being lives in its own universe. This abandons an under lying Western idea which is the cornerstone of the scientific/mono-theistic worldview: objectivity.

For these worlds can never be known, they can only be 1ived. ♦ 33

♦

Walking in the woods at night, searching for a proper piece of wood from which to fashion my ceremonial wand, I find myself in a circle of oaks. Everything is still except for the faint breeze, which carries, from somewhere up the hill, the scent of a skunk* At my feet, I find a gnarled limb, and I know at once that this is for me. A gift. I put out my hand and touch the bark of the largest tree, rough yet gentle on my fingers. "Older," the tree whispers. I think of them, then, as an oak nation, children of the same rarth.

After having left a relationship behind in my home town, I felt the need for some stability in my life again. Although I had never been to one, I decided to visit an MCC group, on an "exploratory mission." The people were nice to me, and I made a couple of friends, right away. But as a man who processes Christianity in his life, I knew there was more. As a boy, growing up in a church setting (Baptist), and later changing to Dentecostal, because it was livelier, and I felt more love there, I had left God behind after being shunned by the church, as do many Gay people that choose to let their lifestyles be known.

For a moment a feeling overwhelms me, a feeling of being one life among many lives, equal to the stones, the dark soil, the trees, and the timid skunk. For now, since I have come here in peace and respect, they accept me with the same spirit.

"The church" had not been good to me in the past, so I was slightly fearful of being in a group of people, who, although I knew were there for the same reasons as I, (MCC's do not make an "issue" of our lifestyles,) I had also been burned by cliques of "Christians" (?) who chose to shut me out, because of being overweight, etc., before, even when my gayness wasn1t an issue.

And as I turn to leave, I feel a touch, soft as a whisper in my ear from behind. "You're doing okay, Kid," She says.

"You really are."

Gay Christians walk a tightrope. On one side, you have fellow Gays saying "don't consort with the ene my," (meaning "the church.") On the other side, the church ("you are sinners, and will die in hell," ad nauseam) and the Outside World ("you're freaks, per verts, etc.") Balancing all of this out takes the patience of a saint.

Then there are our own lives. I am not a fool. I know that people attend MCC's to "husband-hunt." We aren't perfect people, I just wish that some of us would leave our cruising habits at home. We are there to worship our Creator, and if we find a kindred soul, fine. But groping is out of place. Do that at the bars.

GAYS, CHRISTIANS AND LONELINESS

""he bars." For me, as a chubby Gay man, I've not had much luck in them, ever. But for some, especially here in this (mostly) redneck region, it's all we've got; "rhe Only Place to Safely Cruise Another Man." But as the MCC's in this world are not a cure-all, neither do I believe that the bars are, either. Certainly you recognize that I am somewhat of a non conformist, which is true. Someone once told me that "the only true non-conformist is a Christian." Wheth er or ^not they were trying to be profound at the time, I don't know. But what I do know, and feel very strongly deep down, is that it does take strong convictions, and sometimes an iron will, to be a Gay Christian. I personally cannot believe that a God who created Alex Karras, Elvis Presley, Christmas rees, eddy-Bears, and New England Clam Chowder could possibly hate me enough to send me to hell for an eternity. (Jesus never said a word about homosexual ity, in case you don't know it. Moses & Paul were just prejudiced!)

B ill o f Southern Illin o is

fter having read the last issue of RFD, I was feeling kinda low. Here all these pagan/faerie gatherings are advertised, and writing articles, but not one article about being Gay and Christ ian/^Kfter writing a letter to RFD, Big Stone re sponded with a challenge:

Gay Christians face a lonely walk through Life. I'd be interested in hearing from others who feel the same way I do, city boy or country. You may write to me, c/o RFD. God bless you all.

"Why don't you write an article about it for us?"

In Christian Love,

Great! There's so much to write about in that I felt slightly overwhelmed. Yet, my feelings the subject are very strong. Where to begin? should I avoid becoming a commercial for MCC? isn't easy, but here goes:

"Bill of Southern Illinois"

range, about And how It 34

$ tact] ing Jfar-afaay Barltnqs J ’S 'n S T Z 'P 'R O 't tt A p U & A p jt / t S c tjO K a don't know how much you know about gay life in Yugoslavia. At the moment, gays and lesbians in Ljubljana don't work to gether (but we're planning to do so), but I can give you some information.

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Up until 1977, homosexual acts were considered a crime in all parts of Yugoslavia according to federal criminal law dating from 1951. In 1977 criminal law was delegated to the six individual Yugoslav-repub1ics and two Autonomous Provinces. Consensual homo sexual relations between adults are not considered a crime in Slovenia, Croatia, Montenegro, and Vojvoduia, They are crimes in Serbia, Macedonia, Korovo, and Bosnia (1 year of prison). But still, in all repub lics besides Slovenia, the homosexual act is con sidered an "unnatural act". Slovenia has equalized the law for hetero- and homosexual acts (age of con sent is 18).

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This year in September we have organized a lesbian group within the feminist group LILIT. Our first step was a section about lesbians in (the) Slovene magazine Ml ad ino ("Youth") and we also made the front page. Werre preparing the bulletin, collecting films on video tape, etc. In Ml adino we have published the address and phone numbers of our lesbian group and we got some new members. It's much more difficult to find lesbians who would like to join the group.

MAGNUS also demands the equality of all citizens ir respective of their sexual orientation, (ed. note: M A G N U S is the n a t i o n a l G ay r ights o r g a n i z a t i o n o f Yu g oslavia]

Well, there's a short information about gay life in Ljubljana. I hope you can use it. If there's some thing else you would like to know, just let me know. I'd like to be in contact with some lesbians from RFD if that's possible.

We can talk about gay life only in Slovenia - it's 1s Ljubljana. There's a legal organization, MAGNUS, since 1984. MAGNUS had (held) three (national gay) festivals* This year's festival is removed to December It wasn't possible to have (the) festival in June (as usual) because the organizers of the fes tival couldn't guarantee the security for the parti cipants of the festival. Namely, a part of public opinion is very against (the festival). MAGNUS and + i^he or9arnzers) think it's (the) gays' fault ^ a t MiL.T also appeared in our country. And they t.nnk, if we mean to stop AIDS, we must stop international gay meetings first. But MAGNUS was (the) ^irst (group) that introduced the public to AIDS ey had some leaflets and prepared some films about

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do have a per sonal view of gay 1ife in Japan, having lived here for over four years. I'm sure if you asked six different people to write on the subject of 1i fe in Japan, you'd get six very different points of view, with little agreement on the basic truths.

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mothers, mostly ignored by their usually absent fathers, they seek tender• ness, affection. Most are , looking for a father fig ure. Hence the need to • work for that paternal in. stitution, the Japanese Company. Security, nur turing, companionship, ' even love, may be found , there. Cradle to grave. ' The ads in the several gay %( magazines are almost al ways on two themes. Sub mission, punishment, SXH, • discipline Or, a warm% hearted, kind, forgiving, cuddling figure, big, n hairy, but tender, and yet, . probably foreign. Japa nese men don't know how to ' nurture one another. For that, they often look to k a foreigner. One who con forms to the role model they have formed while watching so many foreign (American) movies.

c>artly that's because Ja pan is such an enigma. It seems that everyone who comes here goes through a series of emotions - ela tion, enchantment, invest,iga tion, integra t ion, disappointment, disen chantment, intermittent bliss and almost constant frustration. Finally, a coming to terms with a culture that doesn't want to be understood, indeed exalts in its unique ness. And still, the young people here, gay, straight, whatever, are so beautiful, enchanting, enigmatic, un spoiled, naive, loving, trusting, seeking, loyal, but always - impossible to fully understand - at least to "gaijin" - outsiders, foreigners, like myself.

So, for a foreigner living here, being "mature", a little grey, a little portly, a little bald, but somewhat hairy, kind, understanding, honest, goodhearted - it can be a kind of paradise. At least it was until the "plague". Recently, all sorts of anti foreigner signs are encountered. At the baths "For eigners Please Do Not rnter" has given away to the more polite "For Japanese Only". In some "host" bars there is the whispered advice that you're welcome to have a drink, but please don't invite any of the boys to go home.

I’ve lived with a Japanese lover for seven years. We are as happy as any gay couple expects to be after seven years. Yet, I do not understand him - his moods - his needs. Nor does he understand me. Japanese feel comfortable only when they communicate among themselves. Communication with non-Japanese is always an exercise in frustration for Japanese, no matter how “international" they become.

Thankfully, among the young, gay Japanese at large, the 'plague" - written in headlines here everyday as the "foreigner's disease" - hasn’t deterred those who still go to the two bars catering to foreigners, and those who want to meet them and practice their lingual skills; and maybe in the process find a lover.

I love living in Japan - in Tokyo. Everyday is a won derful experience, endlessly fascinating, - fantasies abound - on the street, in the subway, in the public bath, in the bar.

In Tokyo there is a vast underground of gay male couples; almost invariably Japanese/Gaijin. It's very difficult for two foreigner lovers to live together for very long, unless both of them are totally immune

Japanese men - young men - are often beautiful, often androgynous, often sexy, and almost always frustrated by their lives. Protected and pampered by their T6

to "yellow fever". Even those who came here without any particular predisposition toward Asians find in time they become "rice queens". Both terms are, of course, racist in a sense, but they do describe a phenomenon. It's hard for a country boy from midwest U.S. to come to Japan and not fall in love with the wonderful, sexy, loving, Japanese men.

Steven, 0?i*t,c6,

So, maybe that's why it is so difficult for me to com足 pose a piece on gay life in Japan. It's as diverse as gay life anywhere; maybe even more so. I'm sure a young, gay yuppie (guppy) investment banker arriving in Tokyo will have a totally different point of view from an old, jaded, Asian hand who has lived here and associates only with other couples in quiet evenings at home, restaurant, concert hall, hot spring, coun足 try inn. It's as easy in Tokyo to live the mad disco scene - although that's become passe - or the quiet urban or rural life - as it is in the States.

Sounds fishy, some will say, but it seems to be as staple as rice: if most Japanese don't like homos, they have little or nothing against drag. After work, at the Elizabeth Club (which advertises on after-midnight TV and publishes a slick called Queen), blue-suited businessmen of every make copy in dress and dish the women they dream of or leave at home with the kids.

One big difference here, though, is that in Japan there is no organization, no banding together, no feeling of community among gay people; Japanese or foreign.

Nothing new, others will opine; in kabuki, Japanese popular theater, men have played women's roles for over 400 years, But what is one to think when some young man like Akiko, stockbroker by day, heartbreaker by night, says he hasn't found his soul mate because "I still haven't seen one prettier than me"?!

There are several gay magazines (in Japanese only sorry) with photos (discretely draped a la 50's in the U.S.), filled with bar ads, want ads - by the hundreds "SEXY BOY - IB, high school student, 156 cm., 65 kg. wants kind-hearted older man for music, dancing, and wild, hot sex, please reveal your heart to me. I long for your hot kisses. Mitsu." It's a nation of frustrated, lonely young men longing to be held, reassured, fondled and told they don't have to worry about the examination they failed or the loneliness in their lives.

-after an article in Le Matin (Lausanne, Switzerland, 24 OctoberT9 b 7, page ?)

In spite of all their country's economic success, the Japanese people are insecure, uncomfortable outside their own environment, and hating themselves for not being more "international". They know the new day is coming for Japan, and they're not sure they are ready for it. Meanwhile, it's a wonderful place to visit, live, work, love, be happy. So, there you have it. My "personal view of gay life in Japan". Totally unsuitable for publication, I'm sure, because it's still in draft form, like my life here - still in formation. No conclusions yet - too soon, no poignant insights, no grand theories unlock足 ing the mysteries of Oriental society. Just a poor country boy, enjoying the daily experience of living, working, loving, savoring the joys of a totally differ足 ent, totally beautiful, but always frustrating and yes... inscrutable..,, country.I I enjoy receiving and reading RED here in Tokyo - maybe even more in Tokyo than I did in the States. I need its mystical but down-to-earth message every quarter. Keep it up! Love and good wishes, Edward

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* • / / 6y S & e U t f r f K c t e n & O K it came from government subsidies. But politicians who voted to fund the monument were attacked in news paper articles, and it was not until early this year that the money allocated for the memorial was actual ly released.

he ceremony was brief, but moving. Sol emnly and in silence the men and women filed by until a triangle was formed. A gray-haired woman in her sixties stood next to a shy-looking teenage boy. There was applause when a lesbian mother ap peared carrying her four-month old baby in her arms. A nun with a bouquet of flowers took her place and the triangle was completed.

The last major fundraiser took place on December 7 in Amsterdam's city auditorium and was presided over by Mayor Ed van Thijn, a Jewish survivor of the Nazi occupation.

Silence, and then the crowd of approximately 1,200 people who had gathered at this opening ceremony of the world’s first monument to gays and lesbians burst into cheers and applause.

The COC, which also celebrated its fortieth anniver sary last year and whose founder was knighted by the Queen in recognition, made the fight for funding one of its top priorities.

The monument, designed by sculptor Karin Daan, stands in the shadow of one of Amsterdam's landmarks, the 17th century church called Westerkerk.

The day of the opening ceremony, September 5, was designated "National Coming Out Day" by the COC. The slogan was "Discrimination hinders coming out-and coming out hinders discrimination."

Less than a block away is the house, now a museum, where Anne Frank hid with her family from the Nazi occupiers. It was here she wrote her famous diary, the unexpurgated Dutch edition of which was published last year. In it she writes about her passionate af fection for her girlfriend.

Buses brought supporters from local chapters around the country. It was from one of those supporters that I heard the only criticism about the monument that day. "It's not visible enough," he said. "I want something that shouts."

It is an appropriate place, both for this and because the house is now a center for monitoring and educat ing people about neo-Nazi groups. The site was deliberately chosen by the city of Amsterdam to honor the quarter of a million gays and lesbians, forced to wear the pink triangle as a symbol of shame, who died in Nazi concentration camps.

The memorial is actually three large triangles, many yards apart but forming one larger triangle. The pink marble was chosen both for its aesthetics and its ability to withstand vandalism. One triangle is set into the ground, another is raised and served as a podium for the opening ceremonies, while a third juts out into one of Amsterdam's famous canals. You could miss seeing it if you were hurrying by.

"It's not just for the past," the woman I'd asked to translate the words on the pink marble triangle said to me. "It's for the struggle for freedom today." She translated the simple inscription "Naar vriendschap zulk een mateloos verlangen" as "Such a measure less desire for friendship." It was the second time that day I cried.

But you could not miss the people that day, and the excited, celebratory feeling we generated. Two women wearing pink neckties walked arm in arm past a man pushing a baby carriage. Another man in a wheelchair laughed while, several yards away, some women talked with three men wearing yarmulkes.

The "Homomonument" as ft's called ("homo" ioes not have the negative connotation in Dutch as it does in English) was first proposed seven years ago by gay members of the small Pacifist Socialist Party.

Our history, I thought as I touched the slab of pink marble, has not been easy. But with such a community as this, with such friends as these, our future is assured.

The idea was quickly picked up by the COC, the Dutch group for lesbian and gay rights. fReprinted w i t h p e r m i s s i o n f r o m the S e p t e m b e r 30,

Fundraising was a struggle--because it is a national monument, most of the approximately $125,000 to build

1987 issue of E q ual Time, 711 w. La k e st. #504, Minneapolis,

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have a congenital ab normality on my sealp, a patch 1ike a large mole about the size of a quarter, which I wanted to get removed, partly because there is a small chance of it developing into cancer, partly because I want to be able to get a thinner mohawk! I was referred by a der matologist to a plastic surgeon at S t. Mike's, a nearby hospital. After having a preliminary exam ination by a student doctor, the plastic surgeon made his en trance. He neither looked at me directly, nor introduced himself, nor addressed me directly in any way, which was irksome enough in itself. After gruffly examining my scalp and consulting with his little entourage of three student doctors, he finally addressed me with, "You have a lot of bizarre jewelry there. Do you sleep with boys or girls or both?"--in a very sarcastic voice. (I have multiply pierced ears, a pierced nose, wear studded leather brace lets and have a few tattoos and "" * % ‘ f stuff— I guess I look more punk than gay.) Failing to see what bearing this had on the removal of what amounts to a large mole on the top of my head, and taken aback, I said, "I'm homo sexual." He replied that before he did anything I would have to be tested for hepatitis R and AIDS. When I asked if this was standard procedure in cases such as this, he said no, but he wasn't taking any chances, that a colleague of his had contracted hep B from a gay patient (through "contamination"--blood entering a cut he accidentally got in surgery) and died, and he wasn't taking any chances. So I said no thanks, I didn't want to be tested for AIDS, and left.I I consulted a gay doctor, and he referred me to an other plastic surgeon in the same clinic. This time, some other doctor {not the one I was supposed to see for some reason) came in and gave me approximately the same rundown, although without the sarcasm. He asked why I didn't want to be tested. I gave him 3 reasons: 1) the test is inconclusive, 2) if I've con tracted the disease within the last 3 months, it more than likely wouldn't show up anyway, 3) I resent the arbitrarily imposed judgment as to who seems gay or "deviant" and is therefore subject to the test. I failed to mention 4) I didn't want to be registered, if positive, as an AIDS virus carrier to be quarantined by a paranoid govt, (witness the recent legislation in Colorado making it legal to impose quarantine). I didn't say this because he probably would've thought

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I was nuts, even though it is a very clear and present danger in my mind (and in the mind of any one who has ever been persecuted I as a member of an oppressed sub culture, unlike, I'm sure, this straight, white, monied doctor). The doctor left the room and said the one I was supposed to see would be right in, but he never came. Instead, the same doctor came in and asked where I was a student, what I was study ing, etc. Huh? Again I was taken off guard by the question, so instead of saying, "What the fuck does that have to do with the fucking price of tea in China", I said, "I'm a graduate student, blah blah blah, study ing film theory as a combined discipline with feminist and psychoanalytic theory blah blah" y (which is the truth). So he looks at me as if I'm speaking in \ tongues. I then figured out he v must be trying to situate me, to m im / I4*MI y \ see what he can get away with-how far he can pull the wool over my eyes. Or maybe to see if I'm r " * a "clean-living, straight, white person" or some punk fag scum he really doesn't have to worry about. My educational background must have legitimized me some what, because he then went to great pains to explain to me that anyone in the clinic would expect me to take an AIDS test. I asked if they would refuse to treat me if I tested positive, and he said if I tested positive for hepatitis they would merely take "extra precautions", but if I tested positive for AIDS, they wouldn't operate, but keep my scalp condition "under observation" in case it developed into cancer! Again, I didn't have the presence of mind to point out that both diseases are transmitted by 'lood and both are potentially fatal, so why make the distinction, unless out of pure paranoia. I did ask what these "extra precautions" would be, and he made up something about having the operation at the end of the day so every thing could be thoroughly sterilized! (You mean they don't bother to between operations!!!) At this point I was, like, who are you trying to kid, Dr. Killjoy, so I thanked him for his time (he was more civil than the first asshole), put on my headphones, and left.

[Excerpted f r o m a l e t t e r from Bruce La B r u c e in Toronto, a nd r e p r i n t e d w i t h P e r m i s s i o n f r o m issue #2 of A Q U A ("Anarcho Q u e e r s U n d e r m i n i n g A u t h o r i t y ” ), P.O. B ox 1251, Canal S t r e e t Station, N e w York, NY 100131

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"There are few or no bluish animals" Thoreau's Journals, Feb. 21, 1855

blue dock

Maybe because they're more difficult to view you thought there were so few, with water covering 74% of the earth's surface and sky completely surrounding us, but here's a list I could put before your eyes naturalists easily recognize: there's the blue bill the blue tit the blue throat the blue rock thrush the blue dove the blue peacock the chaffinch the kingfisher there are even blue lovebirds blue butterflies blue fishes blue whales and then, there's a terrestrial animal the Russians curiously call the "blue ass" --homosexual (or "gay") man, a common species ____ (at least 1O'* of all men) you may have known, one, as a natural philosopher and defender of civil rights, as the author of "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation" and of "Sympathy", Thoreau, you must have known

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n Leningrad, where the light never ceased and I felt continually dizzy and offbalance (a reaction to jet-lag I was told), we only murmured about the possibility of lesbians. Had anyone heard anything from anyone else who had been here before? Did someone know someone who knew? The information that finally filtered through was in the form of a coming-out story. It seemed last time Janet was in Leningrad she decided to come out to a Soviet friend. Things went smoothly and the two women remained friends. When Janet returned to Leningrad for another visit, accompanied by her lover this time, she wanted her Soviet friend and her lover to meet. "hey met and all was well until it was time to say good-bye and the friend was "stiff as a board and barely touched me" came the report to us from Janet's lover. ihe story takes on considerably more weight in the Soviet Union where the people are not squeamish huggers, kissers, hand-holders, or arm-in-arm strollers;

w ith f i n a l i t y . "These people a re i l l . s t i t u t i o n a l i z e d an d c u r e d . "

man to man, woman to woman and otherwise. When meet ing or departing, especially departing, there are great displays of affection, even if you've just met.

They a r e i n

Ylena's answer reminded me of the information we'd received about AIDS. We were told there are people in the Soviet Union who have AIDS, but there are only 40 of them and they are all foreigners. Following this line of reasoning, there are gay people in the Soviet Union, but they're "cured" and because they're cured, there really aren't any Soviet gays (just like there aren't any Soviets with AIDS). It's a difficult argument to accept.

It was the first piece of the puzzle laying lonely on the board. Just a bit of homophobia, but it spurred us on. What further information would we uncover? Would we see a gay couple or even a single? Would someone come out to us? It was the beginning of our journey and we were buoyant with hopes. There were twenty-seven women in our traveling group; each of us in search of a special dream, several of us looking for clues to Soviet gay and lesbian cul ture. The common ties binding, the group were citizen diplomacy, peace, and the empowerment of women. This trip, which brought us together, was the third annual Women's Journey for Peace to the Soviet Union spon sored by the Earthstewards Network.

I asked if Ylena was married. No, she was a single woman, a psychologist by profession, who loved her work. Marriage would be bad for her nerves, she said. Did she feel pressure, social pressure to marry? "Only pressure from my mother," she replied. We left Minsk on a midnight train bound for Moscow, the fourth and final city on our itinerary. Our finale in Moscow was almost too good to be true. It included a chance to participate in the third World Women's Congress, a chance to roam the streets of Moscow, to stand in Red Square, to explore this com plex layered heart of old Russia and the new Soviet Union. In Moscow the days lengthened beyond recall. Each day might have been a year or more. I cannot describe the stretching of my emotions, my thoughts, even my physical being felt stretched living in Mos cow. Keeping my journal became a difficult task. I would forget at the end of the day, or be too tired, lying in bed repeating to myself what I must write the next day, what I must not forget.

In Leningrad I was on the streets every day, filling up my eyes, searching for anything and everything. I was there at six in the morning watching parents walk their children to daycare. I was there during rush hour, carried by crowds toward the Metro. One night I was at the circus, surrounded by laughing children and adults. Would I know a lesbian if I saw her? Sitting next to me were two women whispering to one another, their arms linked together. Who could tell? We were gleeful at the complete acceptance of public affection. How freeing this seemed. No stigma and yet in the end I had difficulty adopting this custom. It felt awkward. I needed practice. When we left Leningrad the white nights lighted our way to Vilniu, the capital of Lithuania. Birch for ests and dachas and smooth green fields floated by our train windows. It was difficult to sleep with these scenes beckoning and difficult to stay awake aboard the lulling train. Our time in Vilniu was brief and filled with visits to a daycare, a factory, an island castle. We did not pick up any more clues on the lesbian trail. After three days in Vilniu we traveled to Minsk and an adventure with Ylena.

I wrote nothing about Svetlana in my journal. Her address is scribbled across the back of a Moscow post card with arrows and instructions to turn the whole thing upside down (the city goes on the top line, Svetlana's name on the bottom line). Will my letters reach you, T had asked, having learned in two short weeks to take nothing for granted in the Soviet Union. "Oh, yes, perhaps they will." She had paused thoughtfully. "You must give them to someone, a friend who will come to Moscow to deliver them to me or who will mail the letters from somewhere within the country. Then I will receive your letters."

It began with an address given to a member of our group who is a world traveller and co-ordinator of world travel for persons with disabilities. Susan wanted to visit the woman whose address she had, but whom she did not know. Did anyone want to go with her? Several of us did and at 10:00 on a Sunday morn ing we set out to find Ylena. It took us several tries to procure a taxi, no one wanted to take Susan's wheelchair. We finally hid the chair until the last moment, and then piled into the taxi before the driver could say "nyet!"

Svetlana was the closest I came to finding a con nection to lesbian and gay culture in the Soviet Union. She was not a lesbian nor did she know women who were, but she knew about lesbians and gay men and there was a sophistication to her knowledge. She had read Rita Mae Brown's Rubyfruit Jungle (which was listed in the card catalogue of the foreign language library where she worked) and she had seen the film La Cage Aux Folles. She had asked a French interpreter at the United Rations (where she had worked for three years in the early 1970s) if all the men in France were gay. He had told her only those in the south of France. Svetlana asked me many ques tions about being lesbian. Some were typical dregs (Do they hate men?), others were not (do they choose to have children and how is this done?). Svetlana's willingness to talk helped dispel the murky fog of homophobia created by Ylena's words in Minsk. But she asked more than she answered and perhaps kept me from probing too much. Re-living that discussion I understood how small are the increments of knowledge to be gained by the visitor in the Soviet Union, If I could go back and talk with Svetlana again, what more would I 1earn?

We were taken to a block containing several sandycolored low-rise apartment buildings. When Ylena an swered my knock she was faced with a nervous American pointing to her address and saying "hello" and "peace and friendship" in poorly-accented Russian. Somehow she understood and invited us in, served us tea and sweets, and spent the rest of the day with us. We communicated with the help of two dictionaries and one useless phrase book (which Ylena finally threw against the wall in frustration). Later in the day we were able to bring Carol, a member of our group who spoke Russian, together with Ylena. In the more fluid dis cussions which followed, someone asked, "did Ylena know about women who loved women, men who loved men?" "As friends," she said. "No, as married, as husband and wife," was the best translation. "Nyet," she said

Svetlana was one of two gifts that came to me on my last day in the Soviet Union. She was a gift of openness, but Crete, a Netherlands delegate to the Women's Congress, a grandmother, and a gay rights activist, was the balm to soothe my soul. Crete joined me and my lover on a bench in Gorky Park, assumed we were partners, and told us about her work as a gay rights activist. "I am not gay," she said, "but everyone must work for gay rights because every one must have the right to choose." I hope her words linger in that place a long time.

they were interested in rock 'n ' roll, American literature, history and culture. Early in the walk the American coordinator for Shanklin's group told our gay friends that the Russian officials were con cerned that exposure to homosexuals would corrupt Russia 1s youth. Shanklin was concerned that neither the coordinator, nor the other Americans, who were directly involved with the Russian officials, were willing to address this blatant example of homophobia. Other American walkers, who were not involved with the officials, learned about the incident and were more supportive. ^bout 10 days into the adventure a man quietly joined the group. He quickly won the hearts of the American walkers, and over the objections of the Russian of ficials he was allowed to join the walk. He had recently been released from a Russian prison where he had served time for opposing the war in Afganistan. He spoke fluent English and, like most Russians, he didn't know any homosexuals personally.

[Re p rinted w i t h p e r m i s s i o n from the O c t o b e r 1987 issue o f Ju s t O u t , P.O. B o x 15117, Portl a n d , O R 97215]

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The dissident said that there were homosexuals in the prison. He didn't know if they were there because they were homosexuals or for other reasons. He told the Americans that the homosexuals were tortured, as were other types of prisoners.

During the trip, our friends learned that there was a cruisy park in Moscow near the Bolshoi Ballet build ing. Shanklin didn't go there himself, but his travel ing companion did.

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gay.

mong the 220 Americans who joined an equal number of Soviet citizens on the recent, well-published Peace Walk from Leningrad to Moscow was a Roseburg native. He was also one of the five American walk ers who openly identified himself as being

One evening Shanklin's friend met a man in the park, a performer with the Ballet. The Russian didn’t want to discuss homosexuality or talk about himself. He was only interested in sex (does this sound familiar?). On another occasion in the park he met two teenagers who were far more open. They were so open that the American thought this might be entrapment, KGB-style. As they chatted the American became more comfortable and, eventually, accepted their invitation to have dinner at their home.

During August, Roland Shanklin visited his hometown and shared an evening of pictures and stories about the month-long Soviet/American peace trek. It was one of the largest turnouts at our Tuesday Rap Group.

The Soviets lived about 45 minutes from Moscow by subway, in one of the many tenement-like housing pro jects where most urban Russians dwell. It was a nice, clean little studio. They were joined by a third man who was the lover of one of the teenagers.

Besides three gay men and two lesbians, the Americans who participated in the peace walk included young and old, single and married, and a few entire families. :he make-up of the Soviet walkers was similar, except there were no avowed homosexuals.

ihis group talked about a small gay community they were a part of: a discreet network of friends. As far as they knew, no one in their circle had ever come out to a non-gay person. It wasn't done that way. They distanced themselves from their oppression by totally hiding their gay identity: no one oppresses them for being gay because no one knows.

U the weekly rap group we wanted to know about gay life in the Soviet Union. Shanklin explained that he traveled through Russia with a close friend--one of the other gay men. They were assigned to one of 12 groups of 40 walkers, half American and half Soviet. Each group had two coordinators, an American and a Soviet.

AIDS awareness is in its very early stages in the Soviet Union. While visiting a clinic in Moscow the walkers were told that only three cases have been re ported , and only one of them was a Soviet citizen. The youth in the park did not feel particularly vul nerable, Shanklin said. They were not affected per sonal ly.

Host Russians thought that there were no gays and lesbians in Russia," Shanklin said. When asked if homosexuals would be imprisoned there, most responded, "*!o, they would be put in hospitals." In Russia, they put dissidents in "hospitals": mental institutions.

[Reprinted w i t h p e r m i s s i o n f r o m the O c t o b e r 1987 issue o f T b e L a v e n d e r N e t w o r k , P.O. Box 5421, Eugen e , O R 97405}

‘'any local youth greeted and conversed with the walk ers as they passed through small towns and villages. 42

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DOSTE ITALIANS

ome is especially ~ W b e a u t i f u l in late October, the baking heat of the ji Mediterranean sum^ iner sun cools a bit and the spontaneous sights and sounds of the city seem less a witches brew than a smorgasbord of delights. Hand some young men filled with youth's ebullient first con quests parade boldly along the Via Condotti casting flirta tious glances at admirers of both sexes. The priests and nuns, standard bearers of a moral and thus sexual purity, flutter through the streets like frightened pigeons. Rome's vibrant unabashed sensualism leaves them edgy, as if they were somehow unsure the pagan gods that they had banished so long ago had really left. Peasant proprietors set up shop in the Porta Portese hawking the produce of the fertile Campania and peddling the masterworks of the centuries of tradition to gawking tourists. The government fell again today over a law legalizing double parking. The Christian Democrats say it is a Communist plot. The Communists say that it is a symptom of bourgeois contempt for the working class. The government will be resurrected in an iden tical form and the two courageous class warriors will retire to Caffee Rosati for campari. Rome has been civilized for 2000 years, she can make even political enemies fall under her amiable spell.

.* V .

A street beggar works his way down the rows of the cafe tables that line Via Dolorosa, a reminder that the affluence of the city is in stark con trast to its impoverished hin terland. Harlots and Saints mingle along Via Venteto, each promising a very different kind of ecstasy, each finding many buyers. Dusk settles over the teeming city burnish ing the mellow Travertine mantle deep bronze and setting the latium plain aglow with thousands of sparkling lights like diamonds on velvet.

n 't n s 'Z J t 'u v s m The museums are filled with tourists, mostly Americans and Germans, who have come to be awed by the beauty and energy of the soul of the west. The Romans them selves are only slightly annoyed, by these latter day barbarians, though all too pleased by their booty of dollars and marks to care. The blood of the Romans is an intoxicating potent wine of Saracen, African, Latin and Greek vintage. Surely they are the most naturally erotic men on Earth. The armies of Eros melting the frozen northern races into feverish acquiescence. Lounging with an arrogant careless machismo on the street corners, draping white cotton shirts over muscular shoulders and basking in the waves of the scented warm air that waft off the ancient sun drenched cobblestones. Who could resist their flashing smiles and inviting eyes..

It is difficult to be ambitious in Rome, a paradox it seems surrounded as one is with monuments to ambition. It is as if in a city where everything has been said and done there is nothing left to say or do. Perhaps it is for that reason that Eternal City is at her most enchanting in autumn, like a great old oak whose strength is past and who is now content to display her plumage, leaving fresh conquests to its young saplings.

Am I cra z y to leave? Can I? Montreal to Rome, Rome to Leningrad. But my interlude here has lasted 7 years and I have no intention of leaving now. I won der often how different my life would have been if I had taken that train to Leningrad so many years ago.

(Reprinted w i t h p e r m i s s i o n f r o m The A l b e r t a W h i s p e r e r , c / o # 1 6 1 0 505 4 Ave. SW, C a l gary, A l b e r t a T 2P OJ8, Canada]

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'P'ROTtt ’K S'K'tyrt 6t f [Reprinted w i t h p e r m i s s i o n from the 6 / 2 6 / 8 7 i s s u e o f M e t r o l i n e , P.0. B o x 31251, H a rtford, C T 06103]

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oppressive about homosexuality, it's fairly risky to be openly gay here. People have been deported!

Habari? I've just read an issue of Metrot,lat a friend mailed to me a while 4r ago, and I decided to drop you a line about the gay scene in Kenya. One word describes it all: nonexistent. The first problem is the social structure here in Kenya. It's very much a society with three separate groups; the Kenyans (Af rican), Asians and the Europeans (whites). This creates a problem right from the beginning as it is difficult to break into the closed societies of the Asian and African communities, for cultural economic, etc. reasons. So that leaves one searching among the Mazungo (European, white) community. Isolation within an isolated community. Quite the strange phenomenon. ¥

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One surprising thing to me when I first arrived in Nairobi was to see the Kenya men walking around openly holding hands and with arms around each other. My first response was "Wow, I found a gay paradise." I'm sure there is more homosexuality among the men (and women) than the society cares to admit to. The affection between men is very much a cultural thing and it doesn't necessarily imply homosexuality. It's a sign of friendship and rather a heartwarming one also. I perceive that most of the negative at titude towards homosexuality stems from the heavy Christianization of Africa. The missionaries strike again! The Catholic Church has a big influence here in society and in politics as well.

Another problem is being a woman in an African society. It's very oppressive and depressing. Kenya is about 100 years behind the West when it comes to the women's movement. Wife beating is considered quite acceptable by much of the population here, and many of the mar riages are still arranged.

Another depressing fact about life in Kenya is being at a U.N. organization has alleviated the situation somewhat as there are a few brothers and sisters here. I've met several ruropean and Asian (Kenya) Lesbians and gay men. Somewhat closeted but welcoming to those from the same camp. It helps to have alliances, even if it's not a tightknit community.

Ugh! There are quite a few women's groups but their primary function is concerned with meeting basic needs and development i.e. agricultural cooperatives, hous ing, income-generating projects, etc. It's quite un derstandable. Women's groups in the western world tend to focus on the more theoretical problems of the oppression of women--!.e. the patriarchal power struc ture. So, for myself, that leaves me with no women's groups to hook up with. As well, there are no gay bars, no feminist or gay publications, no networks. A fairly depressing outlook, especially if one is to be in Kenya for a substantial length of time. If one plans to locate oneself in Kenya, in order to survive on the social and personal levels, I suggest one should bring a lover or friends along. Even then, life is closeted and precarious. A male friend of mine left Kenya for these reasons. He had no personal ly gratifying outlets here and his work wasn't so stimulating as to be able to compensate for the lack of a fulfilling social life. He'd informed me of a rather loose, clandestine meeting ground for gay men at The Hilton Health Club. With the society being so

The AIDS problem here is quite scary. It sppears to be mainly a heterosexual transmission problem, but also probably stems from bisexuals as well. Eighty to ninety per cent of the prostitutes in Nairobi and Mombesa has been diagnosed as carrying AIDS. The government in general down playing the extent of the problem for political and economic reasons--tourism, etc. East Africa's AIDS problem is mind boggling. In Uganda, it is estimated that perhaps as high as 80? of the adult population is carrying the AIDS Virus. Accurate figures are hard to come by, for many reasons--testing, denial by governments, etc. It's an other ball game here. Legally, gays obviously have no rights in Kenya. The prison term for men is 14 years and I have no access to info as to whether the sentence is imposed and if so how often. 44

I don't know the laws regarding lesbian women. Being here has made me thankful for the rights and freedom we have in the even if they seem limited. I've gained a new perspective on different lifestyles and cultures here in Kenya. So when we're feeling op pressed by the situation in the U.S., remember there are brothers and sisters worldwide whose lot in life is a lot more depressing. Not only in Africa but in Asia and the Arab world as well.

IJ.S.

Kwa heri ya Kuonana Si ncerely, Betsy Nairobi, Kenya

0 I love your blithe body Shaped by millennia Of sun, sea and jungle C ^ 7 Hunting and fishing / Tribal chanting And dancing to the drums Worshipping Mahou, the Voodoo And the ancestral spirits Love of brothers, comrades Elders, women and children Stories, legends, myths Retold and enacted in the dusk Round the fire Health absorbed from nature In generous energetic symbiosis Of man and elements The verdurous green of the jungle Decoded in the strands of your DNA In complete intuitive translation

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Your calves Breastfeedi ng From distended udders While stretching into your knees One supporting your body The other restively bent Flexing strong femoral muscles Below smoothly gripping hip joints Lubricated with perpetually circulating Synovial fluid Between them, suspended in ligaments A wonderfully smooth velvety organ Escapes and bends gracefully In a mesmerizing, turgid arch Over tightly wrinkled Sack of testicles Under closely cropped meadow Of bristly black curls The perfectly swaying crescents Of the gluteal muscles Toned and relaxed In balancing efforts While your navel spins Below tight ebony tissue Covering rippling muscles In effortless movement Sheltering nameless deities Protecting you from the slaughter Invited by your aloof concentration And magnificent, arrogant torso A work of art Savouring in a surge Of self-accepting mysticism An exotic spiritual reality An independent galaxy Purring next to mine Interpreting with the cheetah's intelligence My every move Expressing breathtaking Understanding, perception, compassion In omniscient glances From dark human eyes Moving on white eggshell Up and inwards When God is near Commenting sensibly In aesthetic syllables From velvet Hesitant yet decomposing In ancient smiles of recognition From deep cores For the instants Your demon allows

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Your generous feet Elevated on a rim of white skin Perfectly shaped And radiating Energies of infinite inner space

A spark between your eyes Transmits to my pineal gland A beam of strong, yellow light Sounding strings Of lucidly shining Harps and chimes Striking clear glass bells And infinitely resounding Wooden percussion Opening vast domes Of pure consciousness Beckoning me Into joy

p o a s s

0 hi 1e we commemora J f f the twentieth an\ *1 niversary of \ \ JI the partial 1 w decriminal• isation of homosexuality ^ [in England] and demand equality * under the *•* ^ law, gay men in Poland can celebrate 50 years hi of an age of consent for both gays and +/. straights. «

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Not that Poland is a homo sexual haven - the combined repressive forces of the Catho lic church and the ruling Com munist Party see to that. Slawek Starosta, a 23-year-old psycho logy student from Warsaw University, is a member of the recently-formed Warsaw Homo sexual Movement which is attempting to chal lenge negative stereotypes about gay men.

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But he says that "gay consciousness is still very low in Poland, even among our group." Last week he was in London for the International Gay and Lesbian Youth Organisation Conference which he says gave him "cour age, and pride in being gay."

Another gay group based in Wroclaw in southwest Poland has its magazine Etep printed in Vienna and then sent to Poland where it is given away.

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On the Baltic coast in Gdansk, birthplace of Solidarity, anV other gay organisation produces a cultural magazine called Filo which has printed the lyrics o? Bronski Beat songs and lists of books about homosexuality that are available in Poland. Like the other magazines, it is cheaply-produced, consisting of eight pages of A5.

Slawek came out only four months ago, even though he says he has known he is gay since he was ten. "For the next ten years I didn't have any boyfriends. Although when I was abroad I've sometimes had contact with men, I was scared to do anything in Warsaw. It's strange living in a big city for ten years and not meeting anyone."

Gay life in Warsaw consists of a handful of bars, which Slawek describes as 'very cruisy', three saunas and a cruising area around Central Station which is visited regularly by the police.

The Warsaw Homosexual Movement is currently trying to set up an AIDS umbrella group with scientists and doctors and is seeking official recognition. To date there have been only a couple of cases in Poland, but Slawek fears that "pretty soon it will be a tragic situation. It will blow up. We have such poor levels of hygiene and some doctors have been using the same needles on different patients."

Slawek says that he "can't imagine walking arm in arm with my boyfriend through the streets of Warsaw", but he does feel that life for gay men in Poland is get ting better all the time. He points out the differences between Poland and other Eastern European countries: "In East Germany, for instance, the gay groups meet in churches - which are the last places we could go to."

Another cause for concern is condoms. As well as be ing prohibited by the powerful Catholic church, Polish condoms are of very poor quality.

CENSOR

But Slawek remains confident that the gay movement in Poland will continue to grow in strength and in fluence: "I think the future holds good prospects."

The Warsaw Homosexual Movement, which was set up only four months ago, now has 25 members and has just published the first edition of a magazine called Efebos. The print run will be small though, since any publication of more than 40 copies has to be ap proved by the censor.

[Reprinted with oermission from the August 14, 1987, issue of Capital G a y , 38 Mount Pleasant, London WC1X OAP, Enaland]

FR A N C AlS E >

he Restoration and the [Second] rmpire made the po1 ice more vigilant in matters of pol itics than o f mor als. The favourite club, which had its mot de passe, was in the Rue Doyenne, old quarter St. Thomas des Louvre; and the house was a hotel of the xviith century. Two street-doors, on the right for the male gynaeceum and the left for the female, opened at 4 p.m. in winter and 8 p.m. in summer. A decoy-lad, charm ingly dressed in women's clothes, with big haunches and small waist, promenaded out side; and this continued till 1826 when the police put down the house.

lowed by it. At the Allee des the crowd was dangerous from 7 to 8 p.m.: no police man or ronde de nuit dared ven ture in it; cords were stretched from tree to tree and armed guards drove away stran gers, amongst whom, they say, was once Victor Hugo. This nuisance was at length sup pressed by the muncipal ad ministration.

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I •.The [Second] Empire did not im• prove morals. Balls of Sodom} ites were held at No. 8 Place • .de la Madeleine where, on Jan. ^ 2 , '64, some one hundred and g fifty men met, all so well ; dressed as women that even the { landlord did not recognise \ them. There was also a club for sotadic debauchery called Under Louis Philippe, the ;■ the Cent Gardes and the Dragons conquest of Algiers had evil * de 1'Imperatrice. They copied results, according to the ^ the imperial toilette and kept Marquis de Boissy. He com • ; 'ix . it in the general wardrobe: plained without ambages of whence "fa ire 1' Imperatrice" moeurs Arabes in French regi r meant to be used carnally. The ments, and declared that the . site, a splendid hotel in Allee result of the African wars jdes Veuves, was discovered by was an effrayable d£bordement « the Procureur-G^neral who regpederastique, even as the f * istered all the names; but, as verole resulted from the these belonged to not a few Italian campaigns of that senators and dignitaries, the age of passion, the xvith Emperor wisely quashed proceed century. From the military ings. The same club was broken the fleau spread to civilian up on July 16, '64. During the society and the Vice took same year Le Petite Revue, such expansion and intensity edited by M. Loredan Larchy, that it may be said to have An Extract from the Terminal Essay of Sir Richard son of the General, printed an been democratised in cities article, "Les Echappes de and large towns; at least so Burton's Arabian Nights Sodome": it discusses the we gather from the Dossier des letter of M. Castagnary to the Progr&s de Lyons and Agissements de Pederastes. A general gathering of declares that the Vice had been adopted by plusieurs "La Sainte Congregation des glorieux Pederastes" was corps de troupes. For its latest developments as held in the old Petite Rue des Marais where, after regards the chantage of the ta n te.s (pathics), the the theatre, many resorted under pretext of making reader will consult the last issues of Dr. Tardieu's water. They ranged themselves along the walls of a well-known Etudes.* He declares that the servant-class vast garden and exposed their podices: bourgeois, is most infected; and that the Vice is commonest be richards and nobles came with full purses, touched tween the ages of fifteen and twenty-five. the part which most attracted them and were duly fol

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Theodorus Beza, Lully (the Composer), D'Assoucy, Count Zintzendorff, the Grand Conde, Marquis de Villette, Pierre Louis Farnese, Due de la Valli&re, De Soleinne, Count D'Avaray, Saint Megrin, D'Epernon, Admiral de la Susse, La Roche-Pouchin Rochfort S. Louis, Henne (the Spiritualist), Comte Horace de Vie! Caste! , Lerminin, Fievee, Theodore Leclerc, Archi-Chancellier Cambaceres, Marquis de Custine, Sainte-Beuve and Count D'Orsay. For others refer to the three volumes of Pisanus Fraxi; Index Librorum Prohibitorum (London, 1877), Centuria Librorum Absconditorum (before alluded to) and Catena Librorum Tacendorum, London, 1885. The indices will supply the names.

* A friend learned in these matters supplies me with the following list of famous pederasts. Those who marvel at the wide diffusion of such erotic perver sion, and its being affected by so many celebrities, will bear in mind that the greatest men have been some of the worst: Alexander of Macedon, Julius Caesar and Napoleon Buonaparte held themselves high above the moral law which obliges common-place human ity. All three are charged with the Vice. Of Kings we have Henri iii., Louis xiii. and xviii., Frederick ii. of Prussia, Peter the Great, William ii. of Hol land and Charles ii. and iii. of Parma. We find also hakespeare (i., xv., Edit. Francois Hugo) and Moliere,

warm welcome to health and en vironmentally conscious gay brothers can be found in South Pacific Nuclear Free New Zealand on the historic Hokianga harbour. The area has a long history with strong cultural traditions. Hokianga was named by Kupe, the Maori discoverer of this land. He called New Zealand, Aotearoa 'land of enduring light.'

logy, Bach flowers, mas sage, meditation and bo tanic medicine. Drew Bronson, the resident nat ural healer and herbalist, is well qualified to help visitors toward the goal of wholebody-wellness. He is willing to share his lifetime experience with plants, teaching, writing and community involvement. He also prepares a range of organic herbal prepara tions, including teas, baths, creams, oils and extracts.

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Hokianqa Herb Farm Wellness Centra is situated high above a diverse inland harbour bounded rural area. It is a place for the truly adventurous nature boys who really want to get away from it all. A Northern New Zealand escape hideaway from stressful living. A long way from night clubs, off the main highways, down dirt roads a small but steady stream of visitors are of fered solitude and healing natural lifestyle. The local community accepts gay people.

The district abounds with interesting features. Within an hour's drive are Ngawha Springs where the famous Maori chief Hone Heke took his warriors for healing; the unspoilt golden sand west coast beaches; ancient Kauri tree sanctuaries and the Bay of Is lands. Immediately on hand is the breathtaking sce nic wilderness, bushwalks on well formed tracks, old former Kauri milling village, Kohukohu; and J? » simply a harbour-ferry ride away to histor£ ic Rawene township.

Fresh organic fruit and vegetables are grown on site. Cooking is on a woodstove. Evenings spent watching sun set, moonrise or in front of a log fire. Comfortable separate accomoda tion is in the herb preparation clin ic set amongst native bush, herb and vegetable gardens and orchards. The creation of a series of intimate landscaped outdoor 'rooms' contrasts with the bold masculine scenery. Apart from the power and beauty of Hokianga's countryside, wellness promot ing activities include unpolluted rainwater hydrotherapy, herbal remedies, reflexo

Visitors have the alternatives of be ing pampered with a series of per sonalised healing modes; or being left alone to absorb nature's spiritual healing energies; or partici pating at any level in this well ness generating atmosphere.

■ He s s 48

Gay brothers are welcome to Hokianga Herb Farm Wellness Centre, a posi tive healing holiday destination. Please write to Hokianga Herb Farm Wellness Centre, R.D.l, Kohukohu, Northland New Zealand.

THS'H'S TVSS'K ^ a u ’i i & t f & t t

It is difficult to return to this so-called normal life, even in the remote country side; it must be hell on earth for those living in urban areas. Are we now in a real world? Was Laurieston real? Yes - to both those questions, but they are very different! With Laurieston’s own natural secluded atmosphere and a group of relaxed loving caring gay men, who could hug and kiss each other at will, what a dream come true!

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eparting from my lonely life on the Isle of Skye, it was with some trepidation that I drove south. I stopped in Edinburgh overnight for a boost to morale and con tinued the next day into the lovely coun tryside of Dumfries and Galloway. What would it be like to spend a week with sixty gay men? My concern was soon dispelled when I was made welcome by David who introduced me to those who had already arrived and showed round the house.

There are many memories to fill my lonely days, but outstanding are the occasion when returning toward the house from a midnight walk and admiring the lighted windows in the stillness, Steve's operatic arias came floating from over the trees; and circle dancing round a candle casting shadows on the walls of the large room, known as Flight Deck. The creations for the fairy fancy dress party on the last night had to be seen to be believed - the cabaret (with the Hallelujah Chorus and 'Come into the garden, Maud' sung as never before), the country dancing, the chatter till dawn, and then - oh, dear! - pack - au revoirs - and away.

Laurieston is a community of about 28 real people who live in sections of the large mansion, the converted outbuildings, caravans and even a modern igloo in the woods! They have their own hydro-electric scheme, wood from the forest areas for the woodburning stoves throughout the community and a truly magnificent kit chen garden producing most of their fruit, vegetables, salads and herbs. The menus (wholefood vegetarian) seemed to improve each day - the three different salad bowls on each table at all the main meals were an ex perience in themselves. Food has not tasted the same since; on the way home when I stopped for two meals which by normal standards would have rated quite good, they were, frankly, tasteless. Laurieston has a romantic atmosphere secluded within its one hundred plus acres in this lovely farming countryside - an em phatic confirmation that an alternative lifestyle is possible. Hard work is necessary, surely, but they have time to care, to stand and to stare.

This experience (to be shared to be appreciated) and discussions with Laurieston people and gay friends has convinced me to go ahead with an idea that. I have nur tured for a long time, and set up a corranunity for gay men in Scotland. The Edward Carpenter Community Trust are presently working to establish one for the south of the British Isles but it was felt amongst us that eventually a network of communities, differing in type and size, could be created around the country. A community on the lines of Laurieston Hall is en visaged and we are therefore looking for like-minded men with between them sufficient capital to purchase and convert a place with accomodation (like what we are accustomed to!). If you know of a place secluded, sheltered and surrounded by trees with a lochan, minimum 20 rooms and at least 10 acres - an ex-castle, ex-mansion, ex-hotel, ex-hospital, ex-school, ex barracks, ex-farm, ex-village, ex-something - then please write and let rne know. If you are feeling likeminded or would like to support such a venture, there are some first thoughts available, so please write to me at the address below.

Why had we come? What did we expect? As this was my first visit to a gay men's week, I had arrived with a completely open mind. Being divided into small groups, meeting each day, helped us better to know a few people early in the week and provided support if needed. The large lawn in front of the house saw exercise, t'ai chi, meditation, circle dances, new games and nude sun-bathing, or just socializing drink ing coffee or one of the many teas available at all times. There were workshops, talks, discussions, or groups on massage, holistic health, body interaction, spiritual ity, veganism, circle dancing, country dancing, and others - too many to take all in during one week and have time for walks, swimmina in the loch, visits to the wood-fired saunas and trips to the 'other world' in the local towns of Kirkcudbright, Castle Douglas, and Dumfries. Midnight saunas and dips in the pond are more than memorable experiences.

Ian Stir!ing Enygma Glendale DUNVEGAN Isle of Skye IV55 8WP UNITED KINGDOM Tel. 047 081 284

iReprinted with permission from GAMUT ("Gay Alterna tive Men Under Trees"), 34 Queensdown Road, London E5 8NN, England]

^ T iA T ft “D

a *

grow on the island trees and provide a variety of beverages like tuba, a fermented drink, coconut juice which is very light and refreshing, and ahu which is < thick soup made from young coconut and is served on special occasions.

;4 u 6 t iK

On the social side of Guam's life-style, I visited The Club, a small cozy bar new to our island for the first time to check it out for the RT]D readers. The decor is rather somber with black floor, walls and ceiling, punctuated by bouquets of fresh flowers. As Guam is particularly hot and humid, it is refreshing to stop by The Club and enjoy the cool air-conditioning. The muscular waiter describes Guam as a small and very religious island where many families do accept gay children which accounts for many local men and women choosing to live at home with parents despite holding down full time jobs. Another patron describes a natural affinity between gay men and women on Guam due to the size of the island. This affinity is most evident on a Friday or Saturday night when there is a good deal of embracing between friends of both sexes, "e believes that Guam is a friendly place to live where it is absolutely easy to blend in and to make friends.

was both surprised and pleased to be asked to contribute something about the gay life on the island o f Guam to this internation al issue, although technically Guam is a U/;. Territory and would be considered part of the United States. Guam is cer tainly a rural back-to-basics kind of place. It would be my guess that there are many gays on Guam, however, as it would be very difficult to characterize them as any different from the other cheerful, generous and hospitable people of this beautiful island, so, per haps, you won't be too disappointed if I share a little about this is la n d : Guam. ~e motto of Guam is ""there America's day begins," i-1 'act the Guam day begins when it is still morning the previous day in North America. The time and day dif ference is but one of the interesting adjustments awaiting a newcomer to Guam, "he vastness of the Pacific ncean cart hardly be imagined until it is crossed one or more times. Nonetheless, crossing the Pacific must be reckoned with to reach Guam, a small island 37 jjfrLY TO ASSEMBLE miles in length and 7 to 10 mile - L> . USA9 c in width sitting in the humid - A.J « tropics of the western Pacific „ tea Ocean more than 7 hours by air JM~ oA west of Honolulu. To reach any - M jfg u m u ;. where from Guam we fly - 3 hours north to Tokyo or the same west ~0 to Manila. Guam is a super spot « >r for diving or snorkeling because o of the coral reef which allows ” at spectacularly colorful reef fish to come near shore and swim in still blue waters. Per haps, the beautiful blue sea and reef surrounding Guam is the prettiest I've ever seen anywhere. Instead of hot and cold seasons, \ic have wet and dry seasons, each hardly discernible from the other. The humidity is quite high and temperature ranges roughly between 75 and 90 degrees year round. We are in an area where typhoons come occasionally, but always have ample warn ing to prepare. Historically, the people of Guam are Chamorro which is also the name of their language, but most speak English as well. The Chamorro people have survived occupation by the Spanish, the Germans, the Japanese, and express a desire to become a II,G. '"ommonwealth. In addition to the Chamorros, there are a number of Filipinos, oreans, Japanese, '"Mnese, Vietnamese, and Indians which contributes to the variety of island restaurants. 'Hide from the U.c . "avy and Air Force and the local government, tourism is the largest industry on Guam. °ver 90? of the tourists are from Japan.

* ; *

From my perspective gay life tends to probably be a bit more closeted here compared to elsewhere I've seen, but probably little different from small towns. Although the AIDS epidemic has not passed by our island, the awareness in the gay community appears to be slowly increasing. Lacking certain amenities on Guam like gay organizations, restaurants, newspapers, or churches, may be considered a disadvantage, but on Guam we have warm tropical sunshine where no one never need a coat, sweater, or blanket, drive long distances to visit anyone, or take an overnight bus or train anywhere. We have local television stations, a daily newspaper, several radio stations, many movie theaters, supermarkets, the University of Guam and a community college, believe-it-or-not the Guam State Band, several theater presentations each year, and an abun dance of friendly smiling people who are very accept ing of everyone. Although finding work and housing can be an eyeopening surprise, there are jobs for those willing to work and housing, if you can compromise on some luxuries. Fven having postage stamps and envelopes stick to gether in the right places but the wrong times can be frustrating, but we get around it by storing them in the refrigerator. When I order apple pie in the restaurant, the waitress surely will bring another imavor if she is out of apple. Once when I crossed the street carrying several large envelopes for mail ing, a policeman turned on his flashing roof light to stop trafric until I safely crossed the intersection. Tf there is a lack on Guam of some of those things which one might desire or take for granted elsewhere like street signs, for example, there is an abundance of genuine friendliness and hospitality to everyone willing to partake and lessons to be learned even in this remote island in the world. e^ore you pack your bag for Guam, please write Don Austin, P .n . Box 4631, Agana, Guam 96910 for additional information.

Guam has a relaxing pace where politics and religion are not so separate as elsewhere, but gays are not ridiculed or hassled. The climate lends itself to shirtless labor and casual attire. While we drink more softdrinks than coconuts these days, coconuts do 50

PAPRIKA MUSHROOMS Saute 2 finely diced onions in butter until brown. Add 12 oz. sliced mushrooms and 1 clove of garlic, minced. Season with salt, pepper, and 1 Tbls. paprika. Cover and let simmer until mushrooms are done, and most of the water has evaporated. Remove from the stove and stir in 2 Tbls. of sour cream. Serve immediately.

MUSHROOM LOAF

2 1bs. fresh mushrooms, divided 3 Tbs. butter, divided 2/3 cup minced onion 4 eggs 1/3 cup milk l*s cups dry breadcrumbs, divided 1*5 tsp. salt 1 tsp. marjoram leaves, crumbled 1/8 tsp. pepper 4 hard-cooked eggs, coarsely chopped (l\s cups)

APPY NEW YEAR everyone. I sincerely hope each of you will have health and happiness in the coming year.

tM l ■

One of my favorite foods is mushrooms. ^ ^ They go with most anything. They're very versatile. All too often I hear people say that they don't really have any nutritional value. This is a misconception. Four large mushrooms will provide 1.1 RFD calories, 4.1% protein, 1.5% carbohydrate, .9% fat, 7.6% thiamin, 27.8% riboflavin, 22.2% niacin, 7.1% biotin, 17% pantothenic acid, 14% potassium, 9% phosphorus, 4% magnesium, 89% copper, and 7.2% iron. The digestion time for mushrooms is 2\ hours.

Preheat oven to 375° E. Rinse mushrooms and pat dry. Finely chop IH lb. of mushrooms (about 6 cups); set aside. Slice remaining mushrooms (about 2\ cups). In a small skillet melt two Tbs. butter. Add sliced mushrooms; saut£ until tender, about five minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside.

As you can see, there are a lot of minerals and vita mins especially copper. Copper is a component of the enzyme tyrosinase which is necessary to pigment forma tion. It also plays an important role in iron meta bolism and seems to a-id in its synthesis to hemoglobin and cytochrome molecules. It also plays an important role in vitamin C metabolism, and we all know how im portant that is to our resistance against infection and disease. There are also fair amounts of niacin for the nervous system, riboflavin which aids in resistance to disease, and pantothenic acid which aids in the production of adrenal hormones and antibiotics. In other words, besides being delicious, they're also good for you, especially in this cold and flu season.I

Melt remaining 1 Tbs. butter, add onions, and saute until tender; set aside. In a large mixing bowl, lightly beat eggs. Add milk, 1\ cups of the bread crumbs, salt, marjoram, pepper, and reserved onions and chopped mushrooms. Stir until mixture is well blended and smooth; stir in hard-cooked eggs. Butter 9x5x3 inch loaf pan. Coat pan with remaining Ik cup bread crumbs. Spoon mixture evenly into pan. Cover pan with greased foil. Bake until firm, about one hour and thirty-five minutes. Loosen edges with a spatula; invert onto warm platter. In a small skillet, heat reserved sliced mushrooms to garnish top of loaf. Serve as a main dish. Makes six servings.

I hope you will try and enjoy these recipes for mush rooms. The mushroom loaf is a great entree and the paprika mushrooms are a great side dish, especially with boiled potatoes, sauerkraut, and some fresh baked rye bread.

V 51

o much love surrounds AIDS. Yes, Love! In the midst of the dying, surrounding the grief like a warm blanket, is an awakening love, a possibly transformative love.

AWAKEN

► LIGHT

I have no doubt that this is happening. I saw the in fant of transformation at the March on Washington. We were there for each other. We dropped our prejudice and our fear - if only for a weekend. It was the week end of the seed watered and cared for - the seed being across-the-board love and forgiveness - fertilized by the dead of this awful tragedy called AIDS . . . That marvelous work of art - the Names Project Quilt art in its trueform - selfless - not preaching or teaching - but o^eAsing an opportunity and a medium for us, the observers, to unify in our sorrow, to grieve as one so that we may no longer feel alone and unsupported,, Thousands of doors opened in thousands of hearts. This single work of art - a visible, tan gible representation of what was (at least for me) heretofore only numbers - broke and reshaped the hearts of an entire community. The Gay/Lesbians of our major metropolises ("mother cities") are on the vanguard of this transformation. Those who stayed, who had no intention of leaving or who could not leave - those who did not escape the tragic net of death are on the vanguard of a new way of being "Gay." Books, videos, films of such beauty, charity and compassion are surfacing in Gay bookstores p h o t o b y S t e v e Kend a l l

QUILT LIGHT

C 3 ry together with 650,Don brothers and sisters -something I thought I would never do -- could somehow avoid by having San San Fransisco five years ago. My ma jor reason for leaving: to flee the specter of death, was now on my mind, rekindled by this huge reminder that lay at my feet. As I stood at the edge of this sym bol of love/death, I knew I was at the threshold of an awakening ex perience of a magnitude beyond any book, any religion, any philosophy. ?p0 yards of commemoration - too many names to see them all - too many. °eyond my comprehension. I stepped onto it. Inside T froze, not wanting to let the implications in. The names - all of people I didn't know, or so I thought. 52

People shuffled along the pathways between pools of names amid an ocean of names. The March had concluded, the rally loudspeakers booming with encouragements, Whoopi Goldberg, Jesse Jackson, et al. A throng moved inch by inch past name after name, some crying softly, some wail ing; others delighting in the kaleidoscope of colors and imagina tion, perhaps untouched by grief or touched too often to feel it any more . . . That morning I had overheard a man who had worked on a patch. The name Ron Cohen. I was stunned - "Not mj Ron Cohen - not Sundance." Fven though I knew it was, I still was able to deny. I blocked the feel ings struggling to be released. I hadn't even heard that he had taken ill. How could this have slipped by me unnoticed? I was locked in that netherworld of denial hoping I was wrong, that I did not hear what I just heard. The March itself was such a joy that I forgot about it - until now - here I had reached his patch - Ron Cohen simple - letters on a rectangle somehow I was still able to deny. I looked at the directory to see if I

have fled to the hills or into yourselves, we need each other. Those who have awakened with the dawn will be there with open arms to greet you. Partake in preparing the love feast that is at hand.

all over this country - testimony to the brilliant wisdom that this tragedy is forcing us to tap. This wisdom is waiting inside us all to be utilized. It's been there all along - an egg waiting to be penetrated by the seed o^ necessity.

We are not doomed!

Plant the seed by making love to yourselves, brothers and sisters! Release your fear of AIDS. Dive into the sorrow and let it fill you. Feel the magnitude, the horror, the injustice and allow these feelings their rightful place. In avoiding them you are burying them alive!

That feeling is born of ineffectiveness. Be effective in helping the dying die with love and dignity, and the living live with the same. We all have a part to play in this crisis and our individual parts cannot be played by anyone else. You are needed. You can ef fect change. You m l i be loved and supported. All you must do is g iv e .

CRISIS AS OPPORTUNITY

The March on Washington, and particularly the Names Project Quilt herald the coming cf the Sun to the Gay community. The groundwork has already been laid and helping hands, complete with instruction manuals (!) await you if you wish to participate in the building of this rainbow bridge to an unprecedented love. If this engenders the cynic within you remember that cynicism is rage and sorrow suppressed by feelings of ineffectiveness. In numbers we arc effective! The greater the number, the greater the effect. Direct, that rage and sorrow outward toward the source of these feelings and let them pour out of you till they are spent. Underneath you will rind the strong, loving, you.

Crisis is an opportunity ^or change and growth. If you are avoiding or hiding from AIDS you are short-selling your self and those who have died. The dead need your mourning, the living need your love and encouragement. If you felt alienated by the "Straight Gay" community, look again. I see the fractions and cloistered cliques dropping their prejudice and joining hands Gays with Lesbians, leathermen with drag queens, faeries with clones. As we join, the distinctions melt away, unity and support replace them. This event - AIDS - the dying and the unconscious hatred leveled at us out of fear - is in need of num bers. The more support we Gays engender amongst our selves the greater our effectiveness in handling this crisis will be Please come back, those of you who

knew anyone else, hoping again that I wouldn't find them. Tioo patches for Ron Cohen! I sought out the other - on it emblazoned in gold was the name I knew him as - Sundance a piece of the scarf he always wore. Simultaneously Franklin Abbott ar rived . "I didn't even know he was ill." "Neither did I . . ." The dam creaked open, Franklin and I hugged and the tears began, slow, tentative, the first heart connec tion I had felt with Franklin, An other friend of Sundance appeared and related a horror story of an am bulance that left him behind, accus ing him of faking suffocation, ac cusing him of suffocating for atten tion! - of an ambulance company that absolved themselves of guilt - of a judicial system that swept the whole matter under the rug. I did not listen to the details. My mind reeled. I became dizzy and nauseous and stumbled to the edge of the Quilt where I collapsed into uncon trollable hysterical sobbing. The dam broke - my heart shattered into too many pieces - one for each name on the Quilt and for the thousands not so enshrined - simultaneously consumed with outrage and grief so

debilitating that I could not stand. At that moment I became one with all those sharing my grief. We grieved together, conspiring around the aw ful silence in the midst of all the noise: the silence of the dead, the silence of the government,. To march, to exalt beyond my wildest dreams, to see the spiritual coming of age of the Gay/Lesbian community - then t.n experience such sorrow and outrage in the same day set whirling >'ithin me (and so many others) con flicting visions of hope and hope lessness; of power and emptiness; of the will to act and confusion as to what to do.

The "cause" of AIDS, whatever it may be, whether it came from without or within, is immaterial to me now. Without clear, unequivocal evidence as to a cause, the only clear thing to do is to respond to its presence in our lives. The response must be imbued with love as opposed to fear, paranoia, anger. These emotions may surface, but if you act upon them they'll lead to irrational behavior, such as blaming the government or ourselves.

On that day in Washington, I was blessed with the shock of an unex pected death of a loved one. The whole experience allowed me to ac cept x c a t it u and erased all specula I sought my beloved and cried on his tion so that I could confront AIDS warm shoulder till I was spent, but effectively. Although I may or may it was only for that day that my not die, I at least feel able to meet AIDS head-on and do som ething tears had finished. Every day at some point they fall again and again. about it! ▼ ▼ I can no longer entertain or tolerate intellectual speculation (especially Thanh uou, Sieve Jones and all the my own!) about AIDS. Theorizing, artists who participated in the blaming, "lOOT responsibility" all Names Project, for giving me an op seem irres ponsible. Heartfelt emo portunity to change and grow. tion is necessary for a complete response. Before I allowed the ter ror, the grief, the compassion M n that order) to complete my ex perience of AIDS, I was blind.

THE MARCH ON INSIDE FOUR by P h ilip Sm ith

LOU HARRISON & WILLIAM COLVIG JULY 3 0 , 1987 by S tuart Norm an

[C o p y riq h t 1 W7 ]

INTRODUCTION

of differing numbers of notes. Performances of his works have been given all over the world.

ou Harrison and Bill Colvig were both born in the spring of 1917, in Oregon; Lou in Portland, Bill in Medford. It was many years before they met, but for the last 20 years they have lived together and made music in the small coastal resort town of Aptos, California, on the Monterey Bay.

Lou has taught at Black Mountain College, the Univer sity of Hawaii, Stanford University, San Jose State University, the Center for World Music in Berkeley, the University of Southern California and Mills Col lege in Oakland. He has also been composer in resi dence at a number of American and foreign univer sities. And he has studied in Korea, Taiwan, In donesia and Mexico, and was a Fulbright Scholar to four New Zealand Universities in 1983.

l.ou is one of America’s leading contemporary com posers, and Bill is an accomplished performer and in strument maker. Their careers have been varied over the years, but never without involvement in music. !ou was a florist, veterinarian’s assistant, a music and dance critic; Bill was an electrician. Lou is Mi roe, jolly, talkative. Bill is slender and taciturn. Both are beautiful gay men who have built a loving relationship around their mutual love of music.

Besides being gay, what do the lives of Lou and Bill share with readers of RFD? They have been long time subscribers. Lou has written film scores for his friend, the poet-rilmmaker, James Broughton, whom many of us affectionately know as the Faery Godmother. They both share a commitment to nature, freedom, world peace and love, and have been active in many cay causes.

Lou has been a leading proponent o f a marriage between Western and Asian music, especially o f using the In donesian janelan orchestra, and o r natural tunings based on interval relationships rather than on specif ic pitches, 'hus there can be many types of scales

I spent a couple of days at their lovely home on a hill overlooking the nacific, getting to know then and preparing this interview. Let us welcome the wisdom (and some nonsense) of these elder faeries into our hearts. 56

mushroom cloud.

It's the

the city.

r And unbridled consumerism? i l v t i i-.:: Yes. And all this traces back historical ly, and I keep reminding people that I'm a member of a very ancient and distinguished tradition which is the pastoral tradition or the bucolic or the rural or sylvan, etc. When I was in New York, before I was leaving, my musical interests revolved around ancient intonations through the [Harry] Partch book and also medieval music from northwest Asia [Europe], quintal counter point, for example, from the Middle Ages. This also coincided with my sudden excitement about--I think it was C Day Lewis' translation of Virgil's Eclogues, which were a Roman continuation of the pastoral tradition from Theocritus. And I've been thinking lately that's really what I represent, and when people assume that citified music is the only valid thing, they don't know what they're talking about. There is an other tradition--the p o l l 1 and the country. The no tion now that culture only exists in cities is, I think, pretty silly, not only from the physical point of view, but from the expressions involved. And it has led to tilings like musicians attempting to get through to the deaf, I suppose largely because urban dwellers are in part deaf, and music has to be am-

THE IN TER VIEW S tu art \,'lir: W h e n

did you first find RFD?

Lou Halt <ve: Wow! In Capitola, that's where, not when. [TV H ill] How many years ago was it? It was one of the earlier issues, if not the first. W illiam [ B i l l ] Colviq: ago. Han t it a n : Nc'-imn:

I'd say six or eight years

How long has it been going? It's going on its twelfth year.

HmutUan: Well, we've been aware of it most of that time, as a matter of fact. And I don't know how long we've been actual subscribers to it.

gamelan t e n to pro duce. a community u n it o& ou)>i, and th a t wai a Keaton I thought i t would be. culaKty u s e fu l on gay laJunt." " T he.

plified. C olv iq:

It's at least eight years.

Homan: then?

Were you aware of the faery movement before

I've not attended it since.

But there is another tradition--the bucolic or rural tradition, the one which in Poussin points out the "Et In Arcadia Ego." It's an interesting thinq that nowadays the concept of the p o l i s is very much like the warring cities of the Greco or Hellenistic world in which the city was the political unit. Then came along Alexander and unified all those cities plus more outside their immediate realm into an empire which said the city is no longer important, the whole empire is important. This whole idea was transferred to Rome. But what are you going to do about the country? Well, this was faced right at once in the capital of Alexandria. When the concept of a larger political frame existed, then the city itself was only a unit in that, and the contrast becomes quite strong. It was in Alexandria after the Alexandrian empire that the bucolic in art was invented. Theocritus was the first poet to invent that. It's fascinating to me because the Virgil Eclogues trace back to Theocritys of course, and they were what stimulated me when I wrote my first works of the kind. To me, musically it meant simplified modalities and actual study of intervals. Actual ones, not fake ones, and the choosing of a simpler kind of music.

H ants on: As movement? We were aware of things we read about. The rural thing struck both of us, and me particularly, with such pleasure in RED. And it tied in very well with my own development as a composer and thinker. And because when in Manhattan I was ap proaching that sort of crisis in my life that resulted in a breakdown, then I had a sudden conversion when I went to H a c k Mountain, NC, to the college there, to country living of a sort, Naturally this was cushioned by lots of intellectuals and artists, but we had a farm as a basis. And I discovered I could never live in a city again. And that's still true. I absolutely need space around me. I need lots o c nature around me, and silence. I'm a composer. My ears are my life. And that means country living. Also before I went there I was already beginning to move intellec tually into another idea which is what I'm still thinking in. People ask me sometimes now--or the question arises--reviewers, for example, "Oh, Mr. Harrison can't express modern life." Well, my answer to that is "Who wants to?" It’s outrageous. What they mean by it is that I don't express the hustle and bustle of big cities and what I regard as the

Remember, I was a trainee of Schoenberg by this time, and writing serial music. But my changeover occurred 57

in those last days in New York, and in the conversion to country living at Black Mountain College.

the simplicity of the music plus its logic and ele gance and the vast range of expression that's possible that makes it so attractive to a lot of others. Also you can build them in either iron or aluminum. You don t have to import them from Java. So my activities in gamelan are connected to this other tradition.

Well, this is a tradition that goes on, and I'm very much a part of it and I'm surprised that people don't realize that. It's because of the dominance of metro politan hullaballoo that people seem to forget that there is this alternative tradition and always has been. And not only that— RFD pleased me very greatly by demonstrating another Theocritan proposition, which is that shepherds make love together. That's in Vir gil, also in Theocritus. It's part of the classical tradition. Hom an:

Noman: It would be getting the individual back to the whole process of music-making from instrument building to performance. HajouUon:

For the better.

Nom a n : Making a commitment to the performance it self, to actually living the music.

You'll also find that in the gamelan.

HcivuAon: I wish some of the gay communes or farms would have themselves a little gamelan. It would be a bringing-together activity.

H a m a o n : It lies absolutely outside the professional razzamataz. Also in that razzamataz we can no longer afford one another. And I think it's important to em phasize, and JRFD is the place to do it, that there is an alternative tradition, that the p o & U , the city, the metropolis and all of its works which turn out to be the mushroom cloud, are not the one tradition. That within Western civilization we have had another tradition which has considered even more important things. It's been a long time tradition, too.

Homan: In essence, they do, although it's not game lan in the Indonesian or Balinese idea. HoAAAAon' Well, it's a community. You know the gamelan— it's the instruments that are the orchestra. It tends to produce a community unit is what I'm talking about, rather than western solo instruments that ac cidentally get put together. But the gamelan tends to produce a community unit of its own, and that was a reason I thought it would be particularly useful on gay farms.

Noman: Would you say the more essential things are what it has considered? HaAAc&on: Yes. As somebody pointed out, those goat herds, shepherds, shepherdesses and so on were pretty lusty, real. And of course the springs could be drunk from in those days--not poisoned as they are now. Acid rain wasn't destroying the crops and natural sur roundings, either. So I'm a holder out for the bucol ic tradition. It's very important. That's the only way I write.

Homan: Maybe this interview will help start some in terest in it. HaA/Uson:

Exactly, the whole bit.

They're easy enough to build.

Hoiman: At many faerie gatherings music may be made on any kind of instruments--getting people together to do whatever--various forms of chanting or with drums and other types of percussion instruments for calling up the moon or other kinds of magical ceremonies. I would gather that much of the gamelan is representa tive of.

N om an:

Is that a spiritual viewpoint for you?

HaAAsCAon: No. It's a philosophic one in the sense that what possible optimism I might have comes from some vague hope that anything will be left, but I don't really believe it. I think we're going to hell in a handbasket. A trip around the world is terribly discouraging. You see everywhere the same impulse. It comes from the metropolitan razzamataz, not real thought.

H anxlion : Well, yes, there's a good deal of that. Calling up the moon is an interesting thing because at the Cabrillo Festival we just did play the work by Pak Chokro commissioned by NEA, called Purnomo Siddi. It means the joy of the full moon. A ravishing work, one of the great modern works.

N om an:

But my gamelan interest is a follow up of the pastoral interest, because it too is a simplified kind of music with real intervals, at least in the U.S. we use real intervals, and they turn up in Java, too. I've gotten to the point of wondering what to do with any extra notes. Five or seven is wonderful. Again, this is part of the scene. Now this doesn't go down well in Manhattan, for example. You realize that most of the great cities of metropolitan America do not contain gamelan. New England does and coastal California. San Francisco doesn't have a gamelan, although it's surrounded by cities that do. New York has only one homemade gamelan by Barbara Bernarr, except in the In donesian consulate. The gamelan in Washington, D.C., is in the Indonesian embassy. Still, you find gamelan in the middle west. All over there are over 120 game lan in the United States. And here in the second smallest county in California there are about 15. They make very happy small group activities--as well as for fairly big groups, as a matter of fact. It's

Bill, can we get some of your comments here?

ColvZg: Well, Lou is so much more deep thinking about all of this for years than I have, but I tend to agree with him pretty much. N om an: You're both lovers of nature and the rural P ^ ts of the country. Being able to get away from the cities, but yet you still want to be with people. HaAAAAon: Bill more than me. Also the notion that there are no people in the country is a funny one. N em an: scapes.

Yes it is.

As if there were barren land

CoZvZg: The only way to be completely independent and free is to live by yourself and have nothing to do with anyone else. Then you're free to do exactly as you please. We were fascinated that among our summer 58

guests last year a group of German yuuths arrived with backpacks thinking they could go out. into a movie ver sion of the wild west. They were horrified to dis cover, for example, that Rig Sur is on Ticketron [(aucilitc't 1 And that you have to sign up in advance. They were just appalled that there was no more wild west.

to do with shared language, but that isn't always true. Sometimes with a religion, but these days that isn't quite as true. Iran is a good example of found ing it on religion now. Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin both declared that the United States was in no sense a Christian country. Neti/nm:

N cim n: Tt is beginning to be appalling, rt gets back to where is our civilization going and I wanted some of your comments on that, Bill I think so many of us are just afraid that it is going to absolute ru in. Cotvu(•• There are some very bad trends, as we all know. All through history it's swung up and down. Right now we're in a downswing, that's for sure. A lot of it seems to be going on by media--TV. People don't want to think anymore, they just want to watch and be entertained.

They were Deists.

Km<\sen: It's in their exchanges with other nations, which is hard to reconcile with the current adminis tration's stance, number one, and a great mass of born-again Christian believers in this country who are of course terribly dangerous because they believe they are going to be caught up into heaven when the event happens. And all the rest of us are going to hell. It's a dangerous point of view. Noxman: It's an apocalyptic viewpoint. They want a war, they want destruction of the world.

H aw ibon: Bread and TV. I still maintain that the tenor of events since the last war has been that the techne has provided us, as everybody knows, means of ending the planet, as far as life goes. The techn e is there, whereas it never was before. There were in dividual religions looking forward to the millenium and that sort of thing, but were not implemented in the means to do it. That's a new thing to cope with. It's hell. Again I quote H. G. Wells, "Civilization is a contest and a race between education and catas trophe." Education is underfunded.

H axxibon: Oh, everybody wants a good war, as Virgil Thomson points out. But there can't, be a good war anymore.

I don't think that around the world the majority of human beings have any conception of what the techne could do. I don't think they understand. It's a little like the administration [official said] recent ly about the ozone depletion— you hold up a newspaper or wear a hat.

HanxLbcn: Well, I keep pointing out. that the techn e doesn't necessarily inhibit. For example, the United States was majestically defeated in Vietnam by the bi cycle. It had thousands of atom bombs and could have destroyed the planet at a moment's notice, but it was defeated by the bicycle, technically. IfVuuiItfeT] It's a fascinating thought, what Scientific American calls "this humane machine." [tauqlifeA ] Another rural thing that worked quite well.

Noxmcui: What kind of thinking or lack of thinking is that? It's almost beyond my comprehension H axtibcn: umber one, it's lack of information, and that's as I view it, because a great number of people spend their non-working time in entertainment. They never acquire by reading or by radio or TV the neces sary information to understand the planetary problem. H e n m a n I think we're getting back to the same thing again as with popular music. We're building a culture of disinvolvement or uninvolvement. thv’ U 'sm : You remember those science fiction stories which had to do with vicarious 1iving--"Vikes"? Then someone came along and introduced reality and all hell broke loose. [Cauglitcx) It's grim, and the race be tween education and catastrophe seems to be over tipped. We've done it technically--there's no re tracting the greenhouse effect. That's there, period. And final. And there's no way we can prevent it. Whether we'll end up like Venus, nobody knows. And now the ozone problem. Acid rain is destroying forests. What's fascinating is that all this comes under the religion of nationalism. Still the nations don't balk at sowing disaster on neighbors. It's unneighborly nationalism. Moxman: Do you think nationalism is specifically fostered by Christianity? Hoa/uaoh :

No.

It's an invented concept.

It can have

Cai'e< q H o w to conduct a war; it's a great problem anymore. It's very frustrating. Noimam And that's again a new thought--that we must find a way to make war obsolete. Cofvu):

That's what Einstein said.

Noxrnn: You've called yourself a humanist, and per haps that substitutes in your life for a religion or definitely a belief structure for you. HcixxZscn: Let me put it this way: I think if you're going to take anyone's words about it other than your own feelings, then I think that Epicurus was right. I long for nature spirits. You notice T have a muse over there, and our household deity is more or less Heracles, when it is not one of the Indonesian ones. And I've been fascinated by Aphrodite lately. The classic gods do affect me, but they have always from the beginning, and as to be Greeks themselves have been psychological evocations and philosophical ones as well. We're just finishing a reading of the Aeneid. Bill reads to us. And I thought it was about time at our age that we read the Aeneid We're in the last chapter. Ho'wan : Most of those are bloody. Ha'ixibon: Yeah, but the amount of interventions from the gods in that thing is astonishing. It's all mixed up. Then of course, you get to the Hellenistic writ ers , like Lukian. He was completely non-religious in that sense. But I think any artist needs a certain emotional warmth somewhere. As Epicurus himself said in the last analysis, it is better to believe in the gods than in the cold physics of the scientists, but

it's not necessary. Still, I like having the signs, and I think they're cultural signals, too. N om an:

economics can change, and so on, status can, but the mere fact of production by nature of gays throughout history isnot going to stop. It's a natural thing, therefore if you're in that category that's just part of the growth of things.

Bill, what are your beliefs about this world?

C o tv lg: My general feeling was that I was disgusted with the main religions. It's my opinion they bring on wars and all kinds of repression.

Nom an: But at least within the faery movement and even in some scholarly institutions there's a lot of study these days on the function of gay people in other cultures, especially the American Indian cultures--the berdache--and different expressions of that culture.

HaAAAion: That is, I suppose, one of the reasons, Stuart, that when you speak the word "spiritual" or anything like that, that I go this way [qsu'jnace,i and p u m b ack ho v ia f l e d ] because I think of all the calamities in the name of religions, which I probably ought not to.

Hoaaaaoh:

Exactly, how the majority of the culture deals with its minority. And with its permanent minority because all other ones are impermanent. I think of course it's wonderful to be given that par ticular adventurous curiosity that a gay has in other cultures and the way of getting into it.

N om an: I make a distinction. Spirituality is per sonal and by nature must be an individual path. It's something that has to be learned individually or ex perienced to learn it. Tt's not religion, which seems to be doctrine, dogma, rituals more than anything else. Religion seems to be the reification of cul ture. Or religion is culture.

Noman: Do you think that is genetic also, that some thing makes us more creative? HaAJuAon: No, in the mere fact of being gay auto matically you are separated and an observer, and you can deploy that position if you wish to, but you are also by nature inquisitive of other people, and since you are an outsider in your own culture it is very easy to make a transition to another one. Or at least

HaA/UAon: Yes. Whenever you speak of Christianity or Buddhism you mean a way of life in the old days. Now they're part-time activities of choice, therefore they cannot mean a social way of life. That's the main distinction. We live in a secular environment in

"Ag&cn I quote. H.G, Nettl, ' CAviZtzation lt> a content

and a hate between education and cataithaphe.'Education ti undeAfiunded." which a major religion cannot function in the way it used to. I don't pay any attention to it. I do well to just get my work done and enjoy as I can.

it is easier.

Let's put it that way.

Noman: b re you familiar with Colin Wilson's work on that a number of years ago?

C o tv ig : I always feel spirituality as a feeling of awe of the universe and nature, particularly of things that are hard to comprehend--what we think of as our universe. So I feel I'm deeply spiritual in a way, but not according to organized dogma. I never found a religion that suited me at all. It was too hard. If you ask me if I believe in Sod I have to ask, "What is God?" I can't say whether or not I believe in God be cause I can't define it.

H avuA on• I recollect somewhat, but that's a standard observation. !7e're not the only ones to observe that. Also the position allows us to do things like Roger Casement did in Africa and South America, on mistreat ment of other peoples, for example, by imperial powers and so on. I can't imagine why a government would re ject a homosexual in the diplomatic corps because we^re the glue that helps bind. As had been pointed out, those fellows in the Moscow [U.S. embassy] epi sode, none of them were gay.

Nohman: Do either one of you feel that even if you don't know exactly what the word means that being gay has something to do with a spiritual position or cause?

Norman: HaAhAAon:

C o tv ig : Some people might call that a cultuA attitude.

And yet gays are a security risk. I know, it's absolutely hilarious.

( o l v t g : I've felt that gays tend to be more imagina tive sort of persons. They want to experiment more.

HaAhAAon: I myself have no feelings about that. Be ing gay is simply something that happened. I'm the product of a generalized ten percent gene production of gays in any one generation. I know we're the only minority that is non-absorbable because we're invented by nature in every generation to about ten percent. Religions can be absorbed, changed and acclimated, and

HamiAon: course.

That's necessary for our survival, of

Co tv e g : It's part of their being gay that they are more imaginative types and they tend to be more in telligent. I feel we're put in a category that way,

H am ibon : I would answer that in almost the same way that I spoke on the other question of our general sym pathies with other people and our closeness to other people. Objectively, I do not raise a family, I don't devote money to the college education of children, etc. Bill and I can concentrate our energies and our money and other energies into what we want to do. Since taking up with Bill I have done all my major works. There are two aspects--sexual satisfaction and a collegial relationship— working together. Again the te.chne>. Without Bill's help I would not have been able to produce many of my major works because he has simply built the instruments for them. So as a work ing pair I have bloomed in the relationship as an artist, composer and musician because both of us are working musicians. We both play in our own and other people's works, as well as making the instruments. And in some instances what Bill does and doesn't pro duce for me changes or makes my composition. For example, there appears suddenly a harp in my Heart Sutra playing an ostinato. The reason it appears is the fact that Bill had made this entire gamelan for the piece, and I needed four extra notes, and I didn't have the heart to ask him to build another instrument, [lau ghteA ] so I threw in the harp. And as a matter of fact it's lovely. But I do often ask him for things which are essential to our music.

but maybe it's over-generalizing. As far as anything spiritually I can't see there's any difference. Homan: But what seems sad particularly about our culture is that it hasn't made any space for gays, where many other cultures we so-call "primitive" at least had a social niche for gays. Hamilton: Well, you don't get anything you don't fight for in this culture. Noman: We've had to. In the other cultures did gays fight to become spiritual leaders or did that slowly evolve? Hamilton: Look back from 50 years and it will be re garded as an evolution. You're young still. Noman: Yes. But of course we do not know of some of those primitive cultures that had lasted for so many years in which the berdache or whatever form of shaman--what particular forms of sexualities existed for how 1ong. H am ibon:

They're called the mother cultures.

Noonan: Many of those cultures perhaps had not changed for centuries or thousands of years. HaamAcn:

One always likes to hope,

Bill is a very fine garnbang player. I love to have him play on that. He plays other instruments as well. He plays on the recording of Pacifica Rondo, the sheng, among other things, very beautifully. He comes from a family of musicians, as it were.

[laughte.fi]

C olvig: Certainly those principle religions, like so many things of humanity, have shaped present attitudes, especially on homosexuality. Christianity is about the worst enemy. Most religions aren't good on homo sexual ity.

N om an:

C o lv ig : I've played many things through the years and it's hard to say what I've enjoyed the most.

H am ibon: There are lots of arguments about that and there's a good bit of research being done on the his tory in Christian Europe on the ups and downs of gaiety. Also comparing Muslims and the religions of East Asia.

Noman: Do you enjoy playing in gamelan more than the traditional Western music? C o lv ig : That's what I've been involved in so much lately. I do have some good memories of Western music. When I was young I played in dance orchestras when I was in high school and college. I played trombone and bass horn, but I can't compare that with what I do now. The nice thing about gamelan is that you're supposed to be able to play all the instruments--circulate around from one to another. I've never taken it seriously enough to become an all-around gamelan player.

Noman: We certainly know of Muslims that there was a tradition, whether in the religion or not, of men be ing able to be sexually active with anyone. Co£u.iq: Not according to the Koran. stoned to death.

You could be

Noman: But that was an unusual aspect of the cul ture. At times they were very openly condoning that kind of behavior. It was almost expected.

Noman: Is that part of their theory about having a well-rounded musical personality?

H am ibon: At certain times. It changes. The major ity group, at least in the evolution of so-called Western culture, northwest Asian culture, is very off again, on again about all sorts of things. You can ^ never know what the next fad is going to be. And it's usually rationalized in some way. Noman:

HaAAldon:

Well, it comes out of the tolerance and politeness of the culture. It is regarded as rude to usurp one instrument for the evening. Other people should get a chance at it, so you move about.

C o lv ig : You get more variety that way than stuck with one instrument.

Why do you think our culture does that?

Hajvmbon: I don't know. And I don't know that have an overall culture. I think we have maybe attitude and a tz c h n a . I'm not sure we have an all culture, which takes time and tender loving and a lot of things people don't do anymore.

What do you enjoy playing most, Bill?

H a m iio n : Sure, it's more fun. And from .this you find out how the whole music happens because you're playing other people's parts all the time.

we an over care

But I would like to point out since Bill is a little modest, that he's played over 250 concerts of Chinese music in the public schools. With great success. He and two other people have done this and they've been asked for repeat concerts constantly. He doesn't do

Neman: Does being gay have anything particularly to do with your talent or your music or the artistic ex perience in general? 61

that now because the group broke up. But that was a lot of concerts. He introduced to many people things they'd never heard before.

Fellini grand production. It does look marvelous.

H om an:

C o lv ig : This was the young audience concerts. They found the Oriental treatment fascinating. Just about the time you get tired of one instrument you drag out another one. We had very good reports from teachers and principals.

HafifoLton: I'm really looking forward to it. I'll write some more music, of course, because there will be a chorus involved and originally there wasn't. There are only a few passages where I asked all the men to sing together, but now I'll be changing the work, making possible other things.

Homan: Well, you have done something specifically gay, your opera Young Caesar. It was the first time a major composer has tried to do something openly gay and bring in a gay theme.

We've already worked with Ric Young and the manager of the chorus, and also my librettist, Robert Gordon, who is very much involved, too.

HawU&on: Well, I don't know--Benjy Britten's Death in Venice. -----

So ^that was the result of Bill's making a suggestion. It's still going on, you see. In short, as a personal compound, Bill and I have been a fair success. We quarrel and all that, but we get along. And I would not be the composer I am without him.

Homan: Would you like to tell us something about Young Caesar? HawU&on: Yes. I received a prospective commission from E n cou n ters, a m u sical group in Pasadena. I won dered what to do, and I had the idea of doing a puppet opera. All I could see was those wonderful Indian Kachinas in different colors with a white stage. But all I could invoke musically was drums, rattles and flutes. It was a bit restricting. But I wanted to make a biggish work. So I fussed around with that, finally Bill said, "Why don't you do a gay subject?" and within minutes I had thought of the'episode in Julius Caesar's life with the king of Bithynia. The episode is historic and easily traced and resulted in some of the amusing anger in Rome when he used to enter (the Senate) and the Senators were angry with him and they'd say, "Hail, Queen of Bithynia!" It was also part of the reason that he was called "Every man's woman and every woman's man."

Hom an: You told me about how some people tease you as being the new Gertrude Stein and Alice B. HaMAMon:

Yes.

[lau g h 6]

C o lo ig : He idealized our relationship a great deal. I don't see why to make a big thing out of it. Homan: theme?

Musically, though, anything else with a biq

HavuA on: I'm getting too old, Stuart, to do any big projects, but a long time ago I wanted to get a lot of gay composers together and each make a section and do a big oratorio on Whitman's "Calamus." Wouldn't that be fun? Homan:

Since I was already a devotee of world music, I real ized that from republican Rome to the court of Bithyn ia, which was a Hellenistic court much connected with Asia, that here we had also the two aspects that I was interested in— the European kind of music and the Asian kind. So I emphasized that. As a matter of fact, the intonations in the original are different in both sides of it. It's divided into two parts--the concerns of the young Caesar in Italy, and the con cerns of the young Caesar in Asia, in the Hellenistic world of Bithynia. Now that it's been transcribed for Western instruments that version will be used in Port land in the spring. It loses some of the attraction because the intonations are Western all the way through.

Yes, a lovely idea.

h a im s c n : But it never happened. Each of us has sort of done sections of "Calamus," but we've never done it all In t o t o . I think it would be terrific. And of course there are lots of subjects for gay operas which would be fun, or let me put it this way, operas on gay subjects, which is more important. Homan: What, besides the Whitman, especially operatic subjects, would you like to set? HaAJuAon: The obvious one to start off with is Alex ander and Haephaestion. That's a natural. Homan:

It was originally done for five players who played about 50 in$truments--oodles of things--and five sing ers who took all the roles. One wonderful woman did three or four different voices. Then it was originally for five puppeteers, but they began to proliferate. You know how they do. They need assistants and lights and rollers--all sorts of things. Nevertheless, it was done successfully a number of times in California, both in Pasadena and here in the Legion of Honor [San Francisco). Alfred Frankenstein, who was then living, did a review for the New York Opera Review--a rave notice. He caused several of his colleagues to attend. It was very well received. Now it's being produced by the Portland Gay Men's Chorus in April, in a theater that isn't even opened yet. As you saw, I got the costume sketches from Ric Young for some parts of it and it looks marvelous. It's going to be sort of a

The "Persian Boy."

Ha/i/vUson: There are also mythological ones--Heracles and rfyl us and Apollo and Hyacinthus. There are quite a number of subjects if you're going to do the baroque thing and use the Western mythology. H om an:

You’ve mentioned Gilgamesh and Enkidu.

HaAJcuon: Of course, one of the originals. This is a fascinating subject which I've always wanted to do. But again, I'm getting a little old, and I think my career as an opera writer is over with. At least at my age you can't do anything you can't play with. And we don't have opera houses in this country to play with. I, for the first time in Stuttgart, got the notion that I could play with it, because Dennis Russell 62

That's the tragic thing, that it may well take us and leave only polywogs.

HaAAison:

Davies was running it, and so I was introduced to everybody there and saw the workshops and had the sense that this is something I could get to play with. Well, Whitman and his boyfriends, Doyle and so on, used to envision a kind of pageant opera on Whitman. But I kept on thinking. Oh, another one which I thought of for San Francisco— I kept seeing it in my mind's eye on the stage and in the pit— is Lorenzo de Medici and Politiziano, the poet. They invented Car nival, you know, and the madrigal, for example. Then there was the Savonarola thing that ruined the whole affair. It would go act after act ending in Carnival, then it would end with the destruction by Savonarola of the whole sort of idyll they created in Florence. It would be marvelous. I used to see it on the stage— each act ending with Carnival and the last one with burning, with the orchestra enriched with all sorts of instruments. Homan:

C o lv ig :

Cockroaches are supposed to survive.

HoAman:

And what comes after them?

HaxfvUon: Remember, Bill and I are old, and this is of a future which we will happily not see if it exists. We hope it doesn't. I'm very cautious these days considering my life span, through evolution and devolution, of a whole batch of things, about calling anything new. It's very hard to invent anything new. There are maybe re-establish ments, revisions, maybe re-thinkings, but to find any thing actually new is well nigh impossible. I would 1ike other words. NoAman: Perhaps evolution is like a spiral— it almost comes back in a circle to what it was like before, yet displaced slightly so that there is a bit of freshness, but it isn't totally new.

It sounds neo-Wagnerian now.

HaAAlson: Oh no, T hate Wagner. It would have a very varied orchestra with baroque and Asian instruments. Except when I would think of such things and go dream ing on it I would suddenly look up and say, "Harrison, you do not have the San Francisco Opera to play with." And then I would scrunch it under my heel.

HaAAison: No, it's only a local refreshness in time, and that will stale too. Hom an:

Everything grows stale, it seems, especially

"The concept

thany gw up

ofi n a tio n a lists coaid n io u sly contemplate, th e in cineoatlon oft a p la n et &on nation-ness i s beyond a lt explanation, thought OA contem plation. I t ' s hoAA ib le ." civilizations.

Then, not too many years ago I was at a party in San Francisco in which there were people from the SF Opera, and they said, would you like to write an opera? And I thought for a minute because it was semi-serious, and I said "no," because, "It is too late." And it is; I'm too old. But for younger peo ple, if they were offered the chance to play with an opera house, yes. I think we're not going to have serious American opera until the younger people are offered the chance to play with an opera house.

Homan:

HaAAison: They seem to have a lifespan and change. I think we view it that way because we're artists, writers, etc., but I think the organism as such has its natural resources and its geographic extent and its ethnic behaviors, and between those three things a local development will occur. Then, number one, the resources will be exhausted; two, the geographic ex tent will change; and three, the original ethnic plan will either have disappeared or changed. Then some thing else will happen somewhere. It's never a static thing.

They're certainly not being offered that.

Then we think in terms of what art was produced, be cause actually almost all that exists out of any civilization is the art. That's what lasts, of course.

HaAAuon: Mo, of course not. It's again the same problem of patrons of symphony orchestras. They only want to hear the romantics and they don't want to go out anywhere.

Even laws had to be written down, and writing was an art. We tend to think in those terms. Maybe nothing will last. Even books on such subjects regarded by most people as esoteric, as for example, classical architecture. A recent one, the Tzonis survey of the Cannon of Classic Architecture, ends with the proposal that we are living in an age in which the destruction of everything is a perfect possibility. And all the

Homan: The faeries are in essence a kind of new movement. Perhaps music is finally getting to a new movement. And there are crazy spiritual theories about a New Age. Certainly there's a lot of movements To try to turn around or perhaps to let Western civil ization go down the toilet, to let it die if it doesn't Take the rest of us with it. 63

more to try to raise the questioning of what Mann called the perfectibility of humankind as a possible countervailing power. We do of course have a counter vailing power, but the only countervailing power we have is "NO." If we don't like life we can kill our selves. If we don't like what is being done to us we can resist. Alas, it would be wonderful if we had a "vailing" power called "yes," but we don't. We're not so empowered.

things. Of course that means that the head has va cated, because as Commander in Chief of the army and navy and all our armed forces, the president has ab dicated if the army can go get funding from other governments. That used to make you give up your citi zenship. But everybody thinks it's fun. Ollie's very entertaining on television. He's a really cute kid. Noman: And they're trying to make a hero out of him, of this basically amoral person. It also seems as if the philosophical background of our civilization is breaking down--our ethics, except the ethics of the ■techne. What can be done then?

N om an: It does seem to be that at least in this civilization there are powers that are not sane, be cause when it comes down to greed or whatever it is that motivated people to rule over others at whatever expense--to make more money, to rape the earth and what have you on down the line, which looks like it can ultimately take their own lives, too, and the life of the whole human race.

Hoaaaaoh:

HavuAon: Very slowly in the U.S. there's a resis tance by professors who are not accepting federal funding anymore for these things. And the scientists have been quite brave in telling the military and the Commander in Chief that Star Wars isn't going to work. They're withdrawing bit by bit.

And all the other creatures with them.

Nom an: Yes. And make the whole a a is o n d ' qXaz for our own existence to be nothing, suddenly to negate everything. Can we actually call this sane behavior?

Noman: Yes, a lot have opposed other nuclear issues because at least they understand what the consequences of these policies are, and the politicians don't.

HaVuAon: No, of course it isn't. It's mad as a hatter. What it comes down to— one discovers finally that government is an enemy, period. And it will rob you and turn into an arms manufacturer, and you have no recourse. All you can do is pay under protest or in duress. Know that you are under constant threat of force and the ultimate force as well. Governments these days are enemies, and it's called nationalism, and that's a figment of the imagination. And the con cept that any group of nationalists could seriously contemplate the incineration of a planet for nationness is beyond all explanation, thought or contempla tion. It's horrible. N em an t

Han.vison: The politicians and about 98 percent of the population don't. Noman: We're living in a society that has so much information that nobody can know enough of it. HaAouAon: That's the trouble. It's an age of com municate, so nobody knows what's going on. ColvZg: We don't know what to communicate with all that information. Hasv,vu>on: But you're young. You're not supposed to be talking like that. Bill and I are old. We're crochety, and what's the use of being old if you're not crochety? [lau g h s]

Insanity.

H a trlso n : No. I've been insane. It isn't insanity. Insane people are fairly quiet and tender people. It's the aggressive, wide-awake, can-do people. There's a marvelous article in Discover magazine, an editorial saying that the only thing that's going to save the planet is pessimism. If you have optimistic, bright, can-do people they're going to press the button sooner or later. What you have to have is pessimists. So if so and so needs to be assassinated they'll say, "Well, I can't do it. First, I can't keep a secret, and second the gun will jam or the poison will fail" --something like this. This is what we need more of --good first class pessimists. N om an:

Nem an: I don't know. crochety? Han.fUAon: No m a n :

How about being young and

You should be bright and optimistic. fih, I don't know why.

HamiAon: Well, there's nothing to do but go about your own business. Do whatever you want. Noman:

And make beautiful whatever.

Ha.vU.son: Make pretty. And if it gets too raw, have enough sleeping pills at hand. I know my mother and dad did. I was very startled one day. I called mother during one of these big scares, and I said I was going to have a bottle of sleeping pills at hand in case the bombs started. And she said, "Your father and I have." Who would want to outlast nuclear war? Nobody in his right mind.

People who will sit and do nothing.

Hanoi is o n : That's the only possible hope for the planet. There is a certain innocent naivete about our most dangerous people, and it is the innocent naivete that rundamentally somewhere in the corner of their minds they believe the resources of the planet are endless, and that they can do what they want. That's naive. ‘rhey have never faced the demarcation of life which we have. And the same thing is true of their belief about people. For exampTe, the wonderful, free-wheeling revelations of the present Irangate thing, when it was clear from listening to Ollie North for a few minutes that the military had projects of their own, and if the U.^. government wouldn't fund it, why then they went to other governments to fund it. Ten or twelve other governments funded these

Nem an: You're going to die fairly soon from radia tion or lack of food or whatever. C o lv ig : Well, they say if you don't die in the big one you'll wish you had. N em an: So you might as well have some way to go. I'd rather be near where the bomb will go off so it gets me right away.

Esperanto class.

HcwUion: Well, there's another demonstration that all this thing is about the poll& and not the world. It's about those concentrations which are pullulating with everything that is wrong. Noman:

HaAAl&on: Then I took him to the Stud for drinks. When I was introduced to him I took one look and liked that right away. Then I listened to the voice and I knew between the two that that was all I ever wanted. Then it was very difficult for a while. [-CaugliA] And still is.

They are too big.

HaAAl&on:

Of course they are. But I don't really be lieve that the big bomb owners are going to do it. Maybe the little ones will try it. But I don't think that's the way the world is going to end. It's going to end with a whimper. Eliot was right. We're going to cut down all the forests, our breath will get shorter, the ozone will cause cancer and mutations. What are the other things that are going to happen? They're already happening. The temperature will go up and we may turn into Venus. That's the kind of thing that's going to happen. I don't think the big blow is going to happen. C olvig:

Colvig:

Noman:

You moved together soon afterward?

Colvig : But it was three weeks after I met you before we got together. Then you invited me down here. Then I finally came to see him in Aptos. I had space in my apartment on Francisco Street, which I had advertised before, but I couldn't find anybody I wanted. Then Lou suddenly came moving in there and said he would pay me the rent, but I hadn't invited him.

HaAAl&on:

Once it gets started who's to restrain it?

I paid you in advance.

Colvig:

Then he stayed about three days and then bounced out.

HaAAl&on:

We now have a history of the big powers not being able to do anything. That's a fairly long history.' And not wanting to, either. Jimmy Carter's Iran, Lebanon, now the Persian Gulf— these are his tories of big powers not retaliating when in the old days they would have sent out the marines or thrown a bomb.

Then he sent a telegram.

HanAl&on:

Colvig:

I noticed he left a few things on purpose.

HaAAl&on:

One day I dropped off at mom's, and I was bursting into tears. Mother said, "My God, I've never seen you so much in love." Mother was wonderful about this. Later on when Bill was puttering around her house fixing doors that creaked or wouldn't work, mother came swishing down the hall and said, "My, Lou, isn't it nice to have a man around the house again?" "Yes, mother." [ch ag A lm d tone]

They're afraid to now. The military

Noman: Would either of you like to say anything else that you feel is important at this time? The two of you have been together 20 years now? C olv ig :

We're still fighting.

HaAAl&on: I moved in on him because he said he had a room for rent, and it was only a few weeks before I came with my rent.

There might be some restraint.

C olvig: The U.S. is asking for trouble. always wants to get into a war.

Neither of'us is really broken

I see that.

HaAAl&on:

C olvig: I think most of us doomsayers about the bomb are not thinking of the big boys coldly planning to bomb us. It can happen by computer error or by some hotheaded naval person in a submarine.

Noman:

I did too.

in .

HaAAl&on: It's what's happening everyday, every minute as we sit here— 50 acres of forest every minute --of our breathable air.

C olvig:

I had the hardest time breaking him in.

HaAAl&on:

Well, not on purpose, Lou.

HaAAl&on:

We played kneesy under the table.

Colvig:

His father died about two, three years before I met him.

We first met 20 years ago last February.

HaAAl&on:

Mother grew very fond of Bill.

HaAAl&on: And we're still struggling with it. [laughtoA]

Colvig: At first she was very suspicious. sure I was just after his money.

C olv ig : We were introduced by Ben Olson at the old Spaghetti Factory in San Francisco— a concert where Lou was participating.

HaAAl&on:

She was

Well, he was, too. [IxuxghleA] But I also had very good relations with his mother and father. He never knew my father because he was dead before we met. But he knew my mother and I knew both his par ents. We both got along very well.

HaAAl&on: With Ned Rorem. We were both reading Wal ton's Facade, and Robert Hughes was conducting. Ben brought Bill over to the place where Ned and I were

Colvig:

My mother took him right in— "Oh, I've gained another son." She already had four sons. Papa didn't get along quite so much.

sitting. C olv ig : Ben said, "You can sit near the composers," so I did. Here was this character sitting behind me, and he started yapping about teaching Esperanto at the Society for Individual Rights [SIR]. I knew about the organization, so I came the next Thursday to

HaAAl&on:

Well, we got along very well, your dad and I, because of our musical thing. We had a sort of mutual admiration society. I think I got along better with his dad than he did. 65

C o lv -L g : HaAAAAOn: N em an:

Probably.

Colvig: Somebody was speaking about gay life, and she said, "It's time we all learned to be nice to each other. Right now why doesn't everyone kiss the person next to him?" I was just walking along and when I came next to a very butch looking men with three or four dames around, I just reached over and gave him a big kiss. [lau g kteA ] He cooperated beautifully, and all the girls laughed.

'/ell, that's only natural, I think. That was just slightly before Stonewall.

HahAli,on, C o lv ig :

Yes.

HaAAison:

But Stonewall was late, or course. San Francisco had gone through all that a long time be fore. We were members of SIR. It was quite a dif ferent thing from the New York razzamataz bit. It had always been different in San Francisco, in the west. Noman:

HaAAlion: That was the first time when marching along my students hailed me from the sidewalk. It was fun Colv-ig: I was sure I'd see some of my fellow elec tricians, but I didn't.

I understand it was much more open.

HaAAsC&on: We love the rainbow flag, by the way. We have a nice one, but Bill forgot to put it up last time.

Hoaaaaoh: Oh mercy, yes. It was assumed that every one had their own sense and way of life, and it all contributed to the entire wonderful thing that San Francisco was.

Noman:

C o lv ig : We didn't have an openly gay dance until New Year’s of 1959. The California Club advertised this. Policemen showed up, came in and got rough with peo ple and tried to arrest, claiming we were creating a nuisance or some stupid reason. The papers just built it right up, gave it the worst publicity, and it all backfired against the police.

HaAAA-ion: Of course. There's another thing--people who live inside the great wall of San Francisco have some difficulty believing we know anything. As I say, the mails work, the print gets distributed, the airwaves work and the telephones work, too. Western Union isn't as good as it used to be, but you can't have everything.

Do most people know what it means?

"RFP pleased me veAy aaeatly

bn demonAtAAting anotheA TheocAitan pooposi which is that shepheAds wake, love togetheA." Noman: What do you think about the progress of the gay movement?

Ha aal i o n : At any rate, gay San Francisco has always had much less trouble than New York.

HaAAxAon: I presume you mean collectively? I think of it as being regional in detail. It seems that col lectively we have demanded basic rights and we are getting them. I don't think we're having nearly as much setback as one would expect from the early development of disease among us, that has now spread otherwise. And I don't think that has set us back as much as a lot of people think.

C o lv ig : That New Year's dance broke a lot of ice, like Stonewall, but on a much smaller scale. HauxUon: It wasn't a battle. It was solved by civil means, as you expect things to be. C o lv ig : The police were getting nasty with the peo ple, but nobody was trying to battle the police.

C o lv ig :

HaAAiion: You know, at one of those big gay demon strations in San Francisco where we marched all the way up Market Street, and debouched by the hundreds of thousands into the Civic Center with banks of loud speakers 25 feet high, and that sort of thing--there was everybody and everything going on. And it dawned on me as we were about to leave that here were these patient policemen, hundreds of them along the route, and they were helping all around. It occurred to me, so I said, "Bill, just a minute," and then I went over and said to them, "I want to thank you; you've been terrific through all of this." My God! He looked at me with such surprise. The officer next to him said, "What did he say?" and it went on down the 1 ine that somebody had thought to thank them. They had been first class about it all. I really felt that they deserved a word of thank you.

Well, it looks very scary now.

Ha-vu-ion: Bill is a great no sayer and panicker and a great believer in conspiracies. C o lv ig : It's a fact that AIDS hasn't slowed down. More and more people are getting more scared of it. And they're closing off more and passing laws. No-man: Do you think this conservative, reactionary backlash is about over with? Co I v i g :

No.

H a ttlso n : It's a continuous fight, Stuart. I don't think that the thing goes by quite so much pendular temporal action. I think it's a more or less con tinuous skirmish. It's hard to remind people who are 66

No/uvan: That may indeed have to do with an outlook on life--that one's shape is how one approaches life.

a majority people anywhere about anything that, yes, there are indeed cautionary minorities. That's hard because they would like to have everything all sewed up however they see it. They can't, and it's hard for them to face, particularly if you have a vast number of like-minded people. So it's a continuous skirmish. And I think, "Hooray, we won that one. Now for the next one." And so on. It's continuous. I think that a lot of us have learned--I learned from the negatives that the best policy is just simply out — capital 0, capital U, capital T. I've never had any trouble with that because I was raised adolescence in San Francisco where there was no problem. There was a little problem in New York, and I was aston ished, I couldn't believe it. It was silly. But it was even out-er there than it is now because of the war, of course. It was easy.

H anxlion :

Yeah, I agree with you, Stuart.

C o lv ig : When Proposition Six was on the ballot [1977, forbidding gays to teach], which they did vote for in Oklahoma--[there] the courts have upheld that teachers can be fired for being homosexual, not even for ad vocating. It's a vicious law. Gays immediately went up in the air about it and had a terrific statewide campaign. The main thing about the campaign was for everyone to come out. I got a phone call from an ac tivist in Santa Cruz who asked, "Would you and Lou care to have your picture on a poster to go on the busses?" I said, "I don't know why not." So he came and took our picture. HaMAAon:

It's a wonderful picture.

But we have made gains. I remember the day over here when I got a thing in my mailbox from Congress. This was the McCarthy period, and my heart started to throb and I thought, "Oh Jesus, what next?" And it was Joseph McCarthy who made me a completely honest man. It was just an ordinary circular, after all, but its effect on me was to say, "Fuck all closeting! ^I'm going to live an honest life just as I see it." That's that.

C o lv ig : And here was this standard bus and this long poster thing which had pictures of several people on it. There was only one couple, and that was Lou and me in the middle. There were a lot of other in dividuals, men and women. It said—

I was asked by the minister of the Unitarian Church here to explain about being gay a long time ago. How many decades ago was that?

C o lv ig : These people are all residents of Santa Cruz County. Lou and I were the only couple--sort of the centerpiece.

C olvig: That was certainly before I came into your life. That made me nervous when I was first seen with you in Aptos. I figured people were looking at us.

HaAAiAon: The fascinating thing is that Bill took a bus once and when it was there and he sat right under neath it and nobody noticed. [lau ghteA ] He felt like getting up and stamping and saying, "Look!"

Ha/uvuon: Here was this bunch of people, and it was a ceremony and some of my music was played. And then I explained about being gay and gave statistics and all sorts of things. Some were a little bit shocked; some were not. What happened was that I gained a great many friends and lost none. And these are still dear, close friends. And then I pointed out in this country alone statistically how many of us there are probably— things like that. I did some very ob jective research and historical material. In short, I gave them a fairly good general outlook on being gay. So I think OUT all the way up and down the line.

C o lv ig : Yes, I got on the bus in Watsonville when it was empty and I sat there as it gradually filled up, right underneath the picture. I looked around to see if anybody noticed and nobody paid any attention at all. It was a disappointment. On the other hand, on some busses, [the posters] were taken out because they got complaints saying gays were propagandizing and proselytizing, trying to draw young people into their unholy circles.

Nosunan: Ho a a a a o y i :

Notunan:

HaASuAon:

"Somebody in your life is gay."

Nosiman: We wish we could sometimes. C o lv ig : Yes. So on this particular bus line which received the complaint they took them out. The others stayed in for the full month they were sup posed to be in. And the opposition lost by three to two, wasn't it?

It in no way hurt your musical career? No .

Homaaoyi: Oh yes, a big margin. you fight for.

Do you think it actually helped?

tfaAA-cion: I don't know about that, but it certainly has been no barrier. And nowhere I go do I make any pretense at all. I joke, in fact.

Again, you get what

Colvig:

Anyway, we were happy to be a part of that. If we weren't out before, we were sure out then. I don't know if there's anything else very weighty we can tell about.

Norman: Perhaps that's the best we can do, be open and not take it that seriously, then others won't take offense either.

HcwvUon: Nonman:

HcwvLion: It makes it easier to deal with important musicians. Dennis is marvelously free, easy and fun. I just have no trouble with anybody. Bill doesn't either, although he tends to be a little more skittery than I am. Well, look at me. I'm a little robust. He's thinner and can get through smaller crevices than me.

HciwiAon:

You think that was weighty? Thanks, once again. A pleasure, Stuart.

v 67

[lau g h s]

t was a beautiful country, once. And it was ours. "How well watered the plain of Jordan was! All the way to Zoar it was like the Garden of the Lord." - Gen. 13:6. And then, according to the Bible, God rained fire and brimstone on the cities of the plain, because one of his 'angels' was on the streets of Sodom. But, may we ask, WHO IS MISS JEHOVAH!?!

The Diaspora must now end! We want our homeland back! Persecution must halt!! "NEVER AGAIN", Mary! Some say that Lot was the only straight in Sodom. If so, then why are we known as "the people of Lot" through out the Middle East? (E l-L eu x iti (The Men of Lot) are sex clubs of fanatic homophiles against whom the prophet Muhammed wrote: "Do you approach lustfully unto men, and lay wait in the highways?" The Zcutl is a thief, pimp, and a prostitute by profession; but for the sake of amusement, or "kicks", he devotes his attention to sexual assault.) And what about Mrs. Lot? What was she into? No, we're one of the twelve tribes--maybe the thirteenth--and we insist on our ancestral rights! SODOM FOR THE SODOMITES! HOMELAND FOR HOMOS! "In The Name Of The Lord Who Permits What Is Forbid den!" -- Sabbatai Sevi, the Messiah. In Hebrew kadosh means holy, but it also means (male) temple prostitute. "Male and Female created he vt" as Genesis says of Adam -- the Hebrew Otham, 'them', being used because Hebrew has no neuter pronoun. So the first man was androgynous, a secret known to all kabbalistic alchemists. In fact the Kohens and Levites or high priests were originally temple prostitutes!!! Connected to the CANAANITE RITE! (per vas nefandum, o pudor!) Better known as COCK and BAALS. These holy persons were the only ones able to mediate bet ween heaven and earth -- to serve as priests -- be cause only in them was the female Shekinah at one with the male principle (Jehovah). The point of this union is the Kabbalistic station of Tiphereth (Beauty). As Blake says (passim):

TH E SEARCH FOR

"...hiding the male within as in a hermaphroditic, male and female in the twofold Hermaphroditic and the female-male and the male-female in hoiiness."

SODOM GOMORRAH Bera, King of Sodom Birsha, King of Gomorrah Shi nab, King of Admah Shemeber, King of Zeboyim and Bela, King of Zoar

tabernacle, double, one wonderful body, double-sexed, the their beauty and

translated from the Chaldee by Jacob Rabinowitz and Hakim Bey By manipulating the panels of this "touch-tone" breastplate, the High Priest could Gematriacally invoke the Shekinah or Female Presence of God, and in so doing was wont to CHANGE HIS SEX!!!

( R e p rinted by p e r m i s s i o n from the C o m m i t t e e to R e s t o r e S o d o m a n d G o m o r rah, c / o V E R L A G GO L E M , P.O. Box 3414, P r o v i d e n c e , RT 02906]

When Lot's Canaanite neighbors were overwhelmed by a natural disaster, he saw it as an act of "God's vengeance" and by this interpretation split his own soul. His female aspect, (the nameless "wife" of Lot), was separated from him. The point where the division took place towered into a pillar of salt -a symbol of the "wife's" eternal preservation. This crisis in the soul of the prophet Lot was echoed in the Godhead by the loss of the Shekinah. On earth the salt lake bubbled up, monument to the ensuing bitterness of soul among the now homophobic Hebrews.

High Priest, hands out in a gesture of trepidation, awaits his posession by the Shekinah

From here on the female aspect of God would be warred on by Jehovian prophets -- the last refuge was the Holy of Holies in the Temple -- (be it. remembered that the Temple cult itself came under attack by later prophets) -- the Temple built by the master Alchemist and Sorcerer King Solomon. If .Jehovah, and overly zealous interpreters of his word, have lashed out against Sodom, no doubt this is in frustration over losing the Shekinah (some times called Mercy) and being doomed to phallocentrism X hetero-patriarcho-daddyship forever. For the Shekinah is the feminist element lost to •Judaism -- which we aim to restore! Sodom for the Sodomites! Gomorrah for the Lesbians! Zeboyim for the Pederasts! The Kibbutzes of the PI a ins! Because of her Sodomic associations, Kabbalists refer to personal reintergration of the female soul or "wife" as a marriage. In addition, they euphemise their homosexual activities as "drinking the salt sea" or "sweetening the waters". It is believed that it was with Sodomic emphasis that Jesus addressed his disciples as "the salt of the earth".

ransformation complete: The High Priest(ess). T h * im *

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RESOURCES TOR GAY PRISONERS Gay Con, 1921 3rd Ave. -404 Seattle, WA 98101 GCN Prisoner Project, 62 Berkeley St., Boston, MA 02116 Joint Venture, Box 268686, Chicago, IL 60626 (gay, bi pen pals) ''ellmate MCC, 5300 Santa Monica Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90029 Dignity Prison Ministry, Box 18479, Cleveland, OH 44118 (gay Catholics) Gay Men's Parole Outreach, Box 6437, San Francisco, CA 94101 Lambda Lighthouse, Ken's Friends, Box 3023, Port Charlotte, FL 33952 Gay Community Center of Los Angeles, Box 38777, Los Angeles, CA 90038 (parole, prison, gay) Gay Legal Referral, P.0. Box 1983, San Francisco, CA 94103 Homosexual Prisoners Project, Box 17218, 104 62 Stockholm, Sweden NY Gay Prisoner Support Committee, Box 2, Village Station, New York, NY 10014 Transsexuals in Prison, P.0. Box 5963, Station A, Toronto, Ontario M5W 1P4, Canada The Wimmins Prisoner Survival Net work, P.0. Box 6326, Station A, Toronto, Ontario M5W 1P7, Canada Queer Anarchist Network Prisoner Solidarity, Box 6705, Station A, Toronto, Ontario M5W 1X5, Canada No More Cages, Box 90, Brooklyn, NY 11215 (gay women)

The land is ours! This map shows the site of our cities, four of which are now covered by the Dead Sea. " .Beautiful Gomorrah! 0 the wave is now apon thee, but too late to save!" (-A1 Araaf). It is said (Tacitus, Strabo, Josephus, Daniel of St. Saba, Nau, Maundrell, Troilo, D'Arvieux) that after an excessive drought the vestiges of columns, walls, etc., are seen above the surface. At any season, such remains may be discovered by looking down into the transparent lake, and at such distances as would argue many settlements in the space now usurped.

arly in February 1984 at the Mississippi State Penitentiary in Parchman, MS, three big red-necks jumped Lester Burns, 23, throwing him down and beating him, kicking him and stamping on him. Burns' nose was broken, two of his teeth knocked out, three ribs fractured, both eyes blacked, and he was left bloody with multiple contusions. For over two weeks he was in the penitentiary hospital, and the in cident is not unusual in many prisons, says Burns.

Our demands should include the ancient boundaries (as an autonomous enclave within the Israeli state), and, by way of reparations, one luxury hotel -- in the shape of a ziqgurat -- with sauna. Discos on the Dead Sea! No matter if Miss J. left it all scorched and deserty -- irrigation plus irrumation equals Springtime in Gomorrah! Once more we shall see "...VINES OF SODOM GROWN ON THE TERRACES OF GOMORRAH.,." Deut. 32:32.

At Parchman authorities afford no protection for their prisoners from the abuses of other prisoners and say (off the record) that they cannot. Neither do the authorities at many another penitentiary and Angola, LA, may be as bad or worse than the average institu tion of the south. It is openly acknowledged that the prisoners run prisons in their own ways and the ones who abuse the small, the weak and the gay go un punished. Anybody who witnessed for Burns or another victim would be seriously beaten, again and again. Lester Burns is not an ordinary prisoner. He is a member of the prison football team and he has a long record of college and high school sports. He is a graduate of a two-year college course and was a college instructor until he was suddenly arrested at a private Mississippi party where drugs were being used. He was on the way to Houston, but the authorities tried and convicted him of drug offenses and he was quickly im-

"But I will restore the fortunes of Sodom and her daughters... I will restore you at the same time." Fz. ’6:53

V 70

The B r o t h e r s B e h i n d Bars P r o g r a m is an o u t r e a c h to o u r g a y b r o t h e r s in prison. It m a j o r parts: 1) we p r o v i d e a d e p a r t m e n t in the journal as a forum for li t e r a r y e x p r e s s i o n by g ay p r i s o n e r s and o c c a s s i o n a l l y i n f o r m a t i o n of interest and c o n c e r n to g a y p r i soners; 2) w e e n c o u r a g e p e n p a l s through J o i n t Venture, w h i c h m a i n t a i n s li s t s of p r i s o n e r s seek i n g pen pals, o ffers some s c r e e n i n g and forwarding, and g i v e s a d v i c e to pe o p l e w r i t i n g prisoners; 3) we o f fer free subs to prisoners, but we have to limit this o f f e r to w h a t we can afford. W e e n c o u r a g e friends to gra n t g i f t subs to p risoners. T h e g r a n t o r s c a n r emain anonymous. Subs are $12.

Roger Rogers

BROTHERS BEHIND BARS covering and persecuting every errant soul. As the talk and accusations multiplied fights broke out but Burns avoided the ruckus as long as possible. Prison regulations penalize both fighters without regard for the one who started it or the one who fought in selfdefense. Besides, the man who starts a fight is al ways the bigger and stronger and sure of winninq. With oversized friends to back him, he is doubly sure of winning. But the more that Burns avoided the per secutors, the more determined they were to get. him, until at last, they cornered him and three jumped him.

prisoned. Although a Georgia boy, he was shipped to Parchman. If Burns had gay inclinations he kept them to himself due to the extraordinari1y abusive way gays are treat ed at Parchman, and th e same bullying treatment is reported in most prisons. Due to the abuses of young gays, which all can see, Burns never admitted even to close friends that he might sympathize with the gays. The young and helpless are hounded, dogged and ragged unmercifully and Burns did not want to be treated like that so he kept very much to himself. His date of release was being determined--within 60 days--when the beating occurred.

From the hospital, Burns made his case to the prison authorities--that his life would not be safe, but they would do nothing to prevent his being beaten again even though his date of release was very near.

The Burns family was to send Lester a package for his January allowance--prisoners' privileges are very limited and the men are permitted to receive only one package per month, 12"xl2", and no exception is made for books. Nothing metal is allowed or glass. The contents of boxes have to be packed in plastic, waxed paper or newspapers.

II Louisiana prisons are the same as other southern prisons if not worse. In the State Penitentiary in Angola, LA, overcrowding and jamming are a way of life and the same conditions prevail throughout many cor rectional centers, places of detention, county jails and, not least, in half-way houses. One inmate with some education describes the average prisoner as not having the mental qualifications of a duck, and a look at the prison records for IQs confirms this. The same prisoner said that many ducks would register higher IQs simply by walking web-footed across the test papers.

As Lester Burns was offered another package also, he arranged with a friend in Unit *4 to receive it-Jimmy Sims. For this, Jimmy stipulated a carton of Kools for himself which was expensive but the only way that the additional package could be allowed. For December, the penitentiary had allowed prisoners to receive two packages as a Christmas exception, but then Burns was offered a third December package and arranged with Freddie Criddle to receive this. Freddie had demanded $10 and although this was also very expensive Burns paid but due to the time in cor respondence and for making shipping arrangements, the December packages did not arrive until January. Yet Freddie had refused to receive this in January al though he had already been paid. Thus Burns had lost his first money and new arrangements had to be made. Jimmy Sims also demanded a carton of Kools again.

The overcrowding breeds abuse and the big strong prisoners move in gangs, and the gays are most often the objects of their hates. The big ones demand everything for themselves, especially sexual privi leges, indiscriminately. Friendship among the gays has to be carefully con cealed and very rare are loving couples. No matter how such closeness may be concealed, the brute men go to any lengths to break up the least evidence of happiness--jeering, yelling and with physical force. They tortured one man in front of another and beat both.

The second January package did arrive and contained items that Burns had 1 isted:--a razor (which was al lowed), an Old Spice Deodorant stick, some face soap, tea, coffee, milk, cocoa, toothpaste and a few mis cellaneous articles such as a box of peppers and some ballpoint pens. As Burns was a longtime football play er two sports books were enclosed, a couple of west erns, a Playgirl, and an old Playboy. All came through safely and Burns received them with gratitude.

Ouite common are master and slave couples, with the big man the aggressor and the boss. To show the least kindness would be a sign of weakness. The slave may have the protection of the big man but pays dearly for it. In spite of the humiliation, some of the smaller gays think they are better off, subjugated to one big man.

Very shortly, however, Jimmy Sims began talking slyly with evil innuendos about anyone who would receive a PIaygirl--sueh a guy must be queer. The talk multi plied and the rednecks began accusing Burns of being 9ay. Then they spread out and began seeking, dis

In the whole conglomerate of southern prison life, humanity for the gays is lacking and supervisors admit 7i

(off the record) that in the exclusively male society, overcrowded and forced together, sex is going to have its way. fhe uncontrollable cannot be controlled (off the record) and is not going to be.

formations, in lines, at work, in barracks and camps-and run. The bullies demand all sorts of sexual services with out end, and groups of them at a time. An illusion of the strong ones is that they, themselves, are not queer because they do not reciprocate. They force their demands upon the weaker, with two or more hold ing the victim--and quite commonly there may be a line to perform what they wish upon the unfortunate. Then all run, leaving their victims to be picked up and hospitalized.

As the hunt for gays goes on, some of the hunters go to endless pains watching and spying, jeering about everything. "You masturbated last night, just at midnight--When are you going to masturbate again? I've seen you and I want to watch you again." "Aw, you don't know how. Get somebody to show you — " "You haven't done it for about a week. When's the next time?" And so on and on. One particularly assiduous watcher told of an unfortunate younger man, "He does it three and four times a day! I see him. A few minutes in the broom closet are enough for him, and that's what he goes to the urinal so often for--" Such sights may assist the big, strong man in his own masturbation.

At Angola, as at many southern prisons, much of the prisoners' work is in cornfields and from the time the corn is more than knee high there is almost ideal seclusion for outdoor sexual activity. The gay must always be alert, running and hiding in fear and they are never protected. Even two or three small ones cannot cope with the big, strong, heavy rednecks who dominate the overcrowded institutions.

In the Bible-based society from which most of the prisoners come, masturbation of others is a sin second only to homosexuality. Nothing sexual can be normal to such men outside of legal-religious marriage, sanctified by neighbors and church-goers. This ex treme code gives everyone the right to persecute any violators with the full approval of others. Their strength permits the brutes to violate their own code for their own benefit, they think, and so they justify receiving homosexual favors. Their right to assault is unquestioned, as well as to have someone care for their sexual needs.

Worse than the concentrated abuse of the gays is the abuse of the young and small straights who have had nothing to do with gay practices, but they often suffer the same type of assault and rape as the gays. A witness to such sexual malpractices is William Woody Wilcoxon at Angola, and Craig Derouen could also tell stories. But both, and many others, would be afraid to bear witness as would any gay without protection--and there is no protection in a penitentiary.

The inexpressible pleasures of sadism in its infinite forms are compounded with the sexual pleasures of the attacker until, with satisfaction at last, they leave their victims shattered, devastated, in terrible pain, a wreck and a ruin in his own blood. Then on to the next--

In the schemes of sexual abuse, the prison guards and other supervisors participate. According to the New Orleans Times-Picayune, one long-time correction supervisor was arraigned in February 1984 in a unique case and faced a possible prison sentence of as long as 25 years for having had sexual relations with 14 and 15 year old boys.

There is no end to such assaults and once a young one has been overcome he is marked for more attacks by the same as well as other bigger and stronger men. Sometimes muscles are torn and dislocations forced, but many gays, especially the younger and smaller, know they will suffer less damage by submitting than resisting.

The man was appearing, voluntarily, as a good-charac ter witness for a young boy who was being charged with soliciting. (The supervisor had previously picked up the boy and taken him to a hotel room for sexual pur poses, but the boy was not complaining.) During the proceedings, court officials elicited the information that there had been sexual relations between the man and the boy. So instead of accepting testimony as to the boy's good character, the court charged the man with sexual offenses, and his prac tices with other boys were brought out.

Penitentiary medical departments have sometimes developed skills in repairing the victims of attack, especially rectal--split sphincters, and severe in ternal tears. Yet how many group attacks can a young one endure? How many can they survive and recover from?

Little note is taken that solicitors (boy prostitutes), as a rule, have no other skills, and when unemployment is high, no other way of earning a living. Places of detention and correction are far from corrective, es pecially as illegal sex flourishes in them. When re leased, the gay prisoners may have no means of paying their rent and buying food except by selling them selves. A vicious circle may be accelerated for prior to their sentences the young boys may have been arrest ed for soliciting in the streets, in gay bars or frequenting hotels which cater to those seeking sex from whomsoever will offer it. Thus the prison sex problem remains endless and possibly insoluble, giv ing every indication of becoming ever more acute.

One of the worst fears of those subject to attacks is VD in any of its various forms, or AIDS. Crabs and other lice run wild, for uncleanliness and filth seem to be ways of life among the bullies. Brutality is basic to their natures, and the smaller and weaker prisoners find what fear and terror may be during in carcerations . Anyone reading a hardcover book is suspected of being queer and for some reason Shakespeare is particularly derided. Once a gay is discovered, his being be comes public property and the persecutions never cease. Unfortunately many of the gays who are iden tified or who admit their gayety are also small and weak in addition to being very young. The rednecks will not attack men of their size who could fight back. The larger ones often strike and pinch during

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p la it. I'm n ot in t o b a r s , d ru g s, or p a in . Am in to h o m e d fc , t ig h t buns, smooth h a i r l e s s b o d ie s , k is s in g and c u d d lin g . I’m looking fo r new fr ie n d s as w e ll as a p o s s i b l e lo v e . I'm h e a lt h y , a c t i v e , a t t r a c t i v e . Love p r e t t ij boys as w e ll as g e n tle men. 7 lo v e m usic, ph otog rap h y and w r itin g . W ill answ er a l l , e s p e c i a l l y th o s e who en close, a p ix . My lo v e to a l l bro t.h e r s ! Gene Hartman 19 M assach u setts Avenue Sox 179 B oston , MA 02115

♦ Dear RFV R eaders

RFD prints contact letters Tree of charge. We also provide a free forwarding ser vice for readers who prefer to not pub lish their address. Donations, however, are greatly appreciated. We ask that your letters be brief (under 200 words) and positive in stating your preferences. Saying 'no' to a parti cular trait or characteristic may unnecessarily offend.a brother. RFD can assume no responsibility for claims made in the letters, and we urge correspondents to exercise caution especially with any financial dealings. For responses from prisoners, we advise contacting Joint Ven ture, P0 Box 26-8484, Chicago, IL 60626, before replying.

CONTACT D e a r R FV R e n d e r s ,

I c u r r e n tly l i v e in -the b e a u t i fu l w estern h i l l s o f M a ssa ch u s etts. I own a la r g e c a p eco d home on 1 a c r e o f lan d b o rd er ed by a p le a s a n t r iv e r . 7 r e a l t y en jo y my home and the work i t ta k e s to k eep i t com f o r t a b le and p le a s a n t . T h e a tr e , m ovies, c o n c e t t i , d in in q o u t, w a lk s , 'leadening and camping a r e ev en ts which can bein g me ou t o f my n e s t. I am 40 yeans o ld , 5' 9" t a l l , w ith dank brown ha-Ln, h a z e l ey es and weigh in a t 155. I lo v e h a ir y men, and men t h a t want to s h a re In tim a te h e e lin g s . H onesty, n o n -v io le n c e , monogamy, and t h e d e s i r e t o want q u ie t tim es a t home a r e some oh t h e o th er q u a l i t i e s 7 am lo o k in g { o r in a man. H you l i v e in o r ne.ar w estern M assach u setts, and a r e s i n c e r e and w ithout m a lic e , p le a s e w r it e . 7 would l i k e t o g e t to know you, to d ev elop a fr ie n d s h ip o r p erh ap s more. We may be a b l e t o b u ild a R e la tio n sh ip t h a t m eets our n eeds

and f u l f i l l s d e s i r e s and dream s. P le a s e no drugs and no p r is o n e r s . In S p i r i t , J e r r y A nlauf 325 Hunger fo r d S t. P i t t s f i e l d , MA 01201

♦ Country boy s e e k s warm lo v in g fr ie n d s Into loving, caring, cud dling and g e n t le warm s e x . I'm mi, 4 0 'S, 6f t . 4in . t a l l , 225 l b s . , m a scu lin e, g e n t l e , m atu re, r e s p o n s ib le . I'm in t o cam ping, long w a lk s, the o u td o o r s , m u sic, q u ie t tim es, q u ie t t a l k s and much more. I l i v e a lo n e in a sm alt t o m i n MW M a ssa c h u s etts. My work makes i t im p o s s i b l e to t r a v e l much; bu t y o u 're welcome, to come v i s i t me. I'm p a r t i c u l a r l y i n t e r e s t e d in fin d ing one sle n d er., young fr ie n d /c o m p a n io n / lov er. who wants t o s e t t le , down and b u ild a l i f e fo r tw o; f r e e o f b u l l s h i t , gam es, e t c . A l i f e w h o lly c o n t r iv e d on lo v e , ivork, and

I'm a 21 y r. o l d G.W.M. 5’5" t a l l w/ d ark g o ld is h brn. h a i r , b lu e ey es & approx 115 l b s . I am a r t i s t i c , d r u g -fr e e (in c lu d in g alcohol), ear ing, shit, s e n s i t i v e , moody, l o g i c a l , i n t e l l e c t u a l , funny, h o n e s t, in d i v i d u a l i s t i c , a v era g e to g o o d lo o k ing and en v iron m en tal h i co n cern ed . Sun s ig n : Cancer (near G em .), L ib r a S co rp io r i s i n g . Love nature, good m usic ~6 a r t s , a n t iq u e s , stamps, B r i t i s h - o l d Hew England a r c h i t e c t u r e , casting n a tu ra l fo o d s , and w ritin g p o etry / son g s. I am i n t e r e s t e d in fr ie n d s h ip w ith o t h e r Gay men betw een 20-26 y rs. o l d who a r e l o y a l , a r t i s t i c , a t t r a e t l v e , i n t e l l e c t u a l .," tn u stiw rth y , c o n fid e n t , m a sc u lin e, funny, q u ie t , h o n e s t, g en u in e, c a r in g , n eat (6 w ith o u t b eard s) and lo v e n a tu re. I d i s l i k e b a r s , b ig crow ds, drug s c e n e , ch ain sm oking, and ch a o s! L ig h t d rin k in g ( a l c o h o l ) , or m oder a t e c i g . sm oking, O.K. Everyone has the,in l i k e s and d i s l i k e s about d i f f e r e n t human c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s , f, I ’ m no exception, hut I don ’ t e x p e c t anyone to be p e r f e c t , and I k eep m a y from th o se who ex p e c t p e r f e c t i o n from me. I'v e been h u rt a l o t b e f o r e , bu t I le a r n from t h a t , w here to lo o k fo r fr i e n d s h i p , 6 w hat kin d o f person co u ld sh a re a tr u ly happy $ long la s ting f r ie n d sh ip (or more) w ith me. I f you f e e l you ’r e b a s i c a l l y what I'm lo o k in g fo r in fr ie n d s h ip wf c o m p a tib le in t e r e s t s , e t c . and i n t e r e s t e d , p le a s e w r it e soon w/ p h oto ( i f p o s s .) - Thank you H. M ichael Pond R.R. *7 Box 192AA G eorge H ill Rd. E n fie ld , MH 03746

♦

Brothers,

I'm interested in tou chin g o t h e r s icho t ik e , rnysei/ one open he.aA.ted to being to u ch ed by i i / e - its sweetness and bitterness as well.

I'm 37, 5'9", 160 lb s , i>exy attrac tive. sane. WoAking in dAug tre a t ment AerviceA. I'v e been through radical, l e / t potiticA and my l i / e now iA baAed in the Aimplt.city o/ The Red Road - t h e N ative t r a d itio n A , and The S a cred Path o ^ t h e W arrior; th e Sham bhala t r a d i t i o n . I liv e in BoAton but my heart wanders to the. peace o/ the country esp ecia liy the. AouthweAt. 7 seek /rien d s, lover a , soulmates who alAo wish to be touched 6 touch H i e to gether. W rite to me!

I d S c h r e ib e r P.O. Box 1054 Jam a ica P la in , MA

02130

♦ V ear RFV R ead ers, Maine R e s id e n t, 43 y ea r o ld b la c k gay m ate, lo o k in g /o r irien d A h ip a n d /o r p o s s i b l e r e ia t io n A h ip . Jn tereA ted in m eeting o l d e r guys in v o lv e d in r u r a l s it u a t io n s in th e New England A rea, e s p e c i a l l y Maine b u t w i l l an swer a l t l e t t e r s . P a li i s in th e a i r w ith w in ter around t h e c o rn e r and t h is i s a n ic e tim e o i y e a r to be w ritin g to o t h e r s w ith s im ila r in te r e s ts . Vonald J . o i Maine c / o RFV

♦ Dear RFV R ead ers: I am a new RFV reader and am e n jo y ing i t trem en d ou sly . Vm 28 y ea rs o l d , 5*3 V , w eigh 125 lb s and have d ark blon d e h a ir and brown e y e s . I'm most i n t e r e s t e d in o r g a n ic g a r dening and ae l i - s u s t a in in g iarm system s (any P erm acu ltu re /arms ou t t h e r e ? ) . I ’ m v ery co n cern ed a b o u t the m isuse o i n a tu r a l r e s o u r c e s and th e poisoning oi the e a r t h . I'm j u s t begin n in g c o n sc io u s work on my own s p i r i t u a l d ev elop m en t, and am e x p lo r in g my c u l t u r a l / e t h n i c r o o t s (I'm a iu lt - b t o o d e d C aju n ). 1 l i k e p e o p le , p la n ts ( e s p e c i a l l y t r e e s ) , an im a ts, r o c k s , i o l k music, zydeco, /ishing, long hot b a th s a t th e end o i the d ay , dancing in the. m o on lig h t, and good io o d . 7 lo v e to w ork. I I ivoutd lo v e to make c o n t a c t w ith o t h e r gau men w ith in my age range

who are so i n c lin e d , e s p e c i a l l y t h o s e in my g e o g r a p h ic a r e a . My hope i s t o m eet and b e ir ie n d o t h e r gay men who have s i m i l a r i n t e r e s t s . I am s i n g l e , and would b e i n t e r e s t e d in d a tin g i / t h e r e was mutual in terest. P le a s e w r it e i i you a r e i n t e r e s t e d in t h i s ty p e o i c o n t a c t (p ic t u r e s w ould be n ic e , and 7 w i l l resp o n d w ith t h e sam e). Rodney 8. 1111 Army-Navy Vr. Apt. 8-1105 A rlin g to n , VA 22202

fr i e n d l y , and c a r in g . . . I stan d 5' 11" t a l l , w ith brown h a i r / e y e s , and w eigh 160 pounds. And, I'm s t r a i g h t a c tin g and a p p e a rin g . I s e e k new fr ie n d s (and p o s s i b l e r e la tio n s h ip ? ? ? ) /rom a l l o v e r . There i s no d is t a n c e w here good fr ie n d s a r e co n cern ed . A /t e r d l l , we a l l n eed p e o p le , / r i e n d s , and l o v e . . . So why n o t w r it e to d a y and l e t ' s b e g in t o grow in new / r ie n d s h ip t h a t w i l l h o p e /u lly be. "s p e c i a l " and long la s tin g . . . ! ! ! Send your l e t t e r and p ix and y o u ' ll r e c e i v e m ine— REALLY SOON!

A PLACE FOR ME S MV CAT Keep sm ilin g — Woman, 30, s e e k s l i v e - i n h ou seh o ld p o s it i o n in any home t h a t can p r o v id e a la r g e backy ard a n d /o r s u r rounding m o d s i o r b e lo v e d cat. to p la y . Asking room 8 board p lu s n e g o t ia b le s a l a r y . S k i l l s o / / e r e d : langu age s k i l l s ( e d it in g m an u scrip ts a s p e c i a l t y ); a l s o s p e a k and w r it e / l u e n t F rench. Can h an d le phones S co r r e s p o n d e n c e . Can c le a n and co o k (am an aioard-w inning d e s s e r t c h e i r e c e n t ly p r a is e d in t h e New York T im es). Can g ard en ( th r e e y ea rs w ith The P lan t V octor h o r t i c u l t u r a l agen cy) . Love t o c a r e i o r c h ild r e n and p e t s . A lso lo v e ca rin g i o r th e s i c k —AI VS p a t ie n t s no p ro blem . 7 o i i e r l o v e , p a t ie n c e , and e n d le s s en th u siasm . I c a n ' t w ork m ornings, and c a n ' t d r iv e . W illin g t o r e l o c a t e . Not a s e x ad! P le a s e con ta ct: Mari T h ela n d er 22 C o tta g e S t . , *3E South Orange, NJ 07079 Phone: (20 1 )-7 6 3 -6 4 5 1 .

♦ V ear RFVers, Are you lo o k in g i o r a m a tu re/y ou th iul., a s s e r t i v e / c o n s i d e r a t e , dom i n an t/ c a r in g , s e n s u a l / v e r s a t i l e , r o m a n t ic /le v e l- h e a d e d , l o y a l , d e d i c a t e d , h o n e s t, open-m in ded, 5'4", 130*? V aried i n t e r e s t s d o n 't i n c lu d e phone j / o o r pen p a ls o n ly . I am not impressed by s i z e , a g e , n e e , g l i t t e r ; who you a x e i s wixat c o u n ts . M in o r it ie s , in e x p e r ie n c e d w elcom ed. G ed ric k 852-59 Rt 1 E d ison , NJ 08817-4669 ♦ HELLO new i r i e n d s ! My name i s Ken and I am a gay w h ite m ale in my t h i r t i e s . I am young lo o k in g , y o u t h iu l, and a t t r a c t i v e guy. A lso , I'm v ery s i n c e r e ,

Ken P.O. Box 42392 P itts b u r g h , PA

k eep s f i n i n g !

15203

♦ H7 GUYS! I'm Vanny and a young o l d gay w h ite m ale. G rea t lo o k s and body t o o ! I l i k e w ritin g and m eet in g new /r ie n d s /rom ALL o v e r t h e c o u n t r y .. . I en jo y t r a v e lin g and m eetin g new guys / o r ;fr ie n d s h ip and FUN TIMES! And, you guys headin g thus way to t h e *1 C ity o / P itts b u r g h — GET IN TOUCH...!!! W e're su r e t o have a 'g r e a t ' tim e t o g e t h e r ! So l e t me h e a r /rom a l l you i n t e r e s t e d guys ou t t h e r e REAL SOON! Send me a p ic t u r e o / you (in any /orm !!? ? ) and my HOT p ic t u r e w i l l be ou t t o you to~o! You won’ t be d is a p p o in t e d —t r u s t me! L e t' s be /r ie n d s guys! ALL a g es welcome to o !!! Love /rom on e 'HOT' p a l , Vanny P.O .'Box 3614 P itts b u r g h , PA

15230

♦ V ear RFV R ead ers: I am a GWM in t h e so u th w est V irg in ia a r e a . Very l o n e l y as c u r r e n tly 7 do n o t have a l o v e r nor any gay /r i e n d s . I am h o n e s t, s in c e r e , c a r in g and l o y a l p erso n . V e s ir e a one t o on e r e l a t i o n s h i p / / r i e n d s h i p .

P lease l e t me h e a r f e l lo w b r o t h e r s faom a l l o v e r . Would lo v e and w e l come l e t t e r s from anyone.. Thank you. Lonely 6 W alling c/o RFV

♦ H ello A ll I'm a h e a lt h y , s p i r i t u a l , h o m y , cu rio u s, h ardw orkin g, fr i e n d l y , m ec h a n ica lly I n c l in e d , lo n g h a ir e d s t o r y t e l l e r / w r i t e r who I s lo o k in g fa r som eone [ p r e fe r a b ly more th an ju s t a fr ie n d ) who needA com panion s h ip / h e lp on a fa r m /r u r a l p r o j e c t . I Ivxve a l o v e / h a t e r e l a t i o n s h i p w ith c i t i e s [som etim es I h av e t o g e t ou t and m in gle w ith crow d s), bu t d e f i n it e ly p r e f e r q u i e t , r u r a l s p a c e s and bein g w ith p e o p le I c a r e a b o u t. I've had t h e ch an ce t o t r a v e l around the US a b i t and t h e P aci f i c NW ap p ea ls more t o me th an o t h e r a r e a s , but I'm n ot lim it in g my o p t io n s [I'm o r ig in a ll y from SE V ir g in ia ) . S ta ts : 31, 6' 1", 175 l b s , d ark brown h a i r , b e a r d , and e y e s , h a ir y body. Vrop me a l i n e I f y o u 're In t e r e s t e d and have som ething t o o f f e r along t h e s e l i n e s .

a b l e to exchan ge hard work f o r a w eek-en d bed and warm fr ie n d s h ip . I can a l s o r e c i p r o c a t e w ith a p la c e t o s t a y In t h e c i t y when you come I n t o town. I e n jo y c o o k in g , camping, c a s u a l h i k e s , t h e a r t s , making t h in g s , m usic, a n im a ls, good fr i e n d s , lon g t a l k s and an o c c a s io n a l h ig h . I am a co u rteo u s sm oker and l i g h t d r in k e r —m o stly w ine and a c o ld b e e r a f t e r hard w ork. P le a s e d rop a n o te . I l o o k forw ard t o m eetin g and bein g good f r i e n d s . Von In R a leig h c / o REV

♦ Dear fr i e n d s , A new-comer to North C a r o lin a , I seek fr ie n d s In t h e a r e a . Hy p r i mary p a r tn e r o f ten y ea rs rem ains out w est f o r p e r s o n a l r e a s o n s , so I am n ot s e e k in g ro m an tic In v olv em en t. Rather p e o p le ivho v a lu e th e co m fo rts o f tr u e fr i e n d s h i p , an a p p r e c ia t io n o f l i f e and l o v e , t h e jo y o f com p an ion sh ip and com m unication, t h e beauty o f n atu re and a s e n s e o f humor. I am m id - fo r t y and axis r a i s e d In a sm all New England town. My ch o sen p r o fe s s io n as an a r t s manager has k ep t me In c i t i e s f o r t h e p a s t twen t y - f i v e y e a r s , a lth o u g h I m ain tain ed a one a c r e "urban farm" f o r t h e p a s t t ig h t y ea rs b e f o r e moving h e r e . An e x p e r ie n c e d and d e d ic a t e d flo w e r and v e g e t a b le g a r d e n e r , I know my cu rren t ap artm en t w i l l so on f e e l c o n fin in g , p a r t i c u l a r l y w ith t h e r e b ir t h o f s p r in g . I I w i l l w elcom e o p p o r t u n it ie s t o v i s i t t h e co u n try , mountains and s e a sh o re and am more than w illin g and

The S u n b elt t o me means C a lifo r n ia throu gh t h e so u th ern US to In c lu d e F lo r id a . Thanks,

♦

The la r c h s c / o RFV

G r e e t in g s :

♦

I'm a G-W-M, C a p rico rn , 34, and t i r e d o f bein g a lo n e . I ’ ve s p e n t y ea rs d r i f t i n g from j o b to jo b , t o m t o town, and I ’m t i r e d of It. P lan s/dream s fo r "tomorrow" in c lu d e : (h o p e f u l l y ) a retu r n t o c o l l e g e t o f i n i s h d e g r e e r eq u irem en ts; a p la c e In t h e cou n try b ig enough fo r a la r g e g ard en , p erh a p s some c h ic k e n s and p ig s , and s e v e r a l bedroom s fo r company; and would v ery much l i k e someone t o s h a r e t h e s e s im p le dream s.

H ealth, Luck, 6 J o y , B.S. c/o RFV

c a v s, c h ic k e n s 6 tom atoes and t h e r e i s a co n seq u en tia l. Gay pofXL-latlon to p r o v id e s o c i a l c o n t a c t . We coould l i k e to be among our own k in d . I t has been in v a rio u s Gay p u b lic a t io n s t h a t su ch p la c e s e x i s t . We r e c e n t ly moved b ack to F lo r id a from t h e "Big Islan d " o f Hawaii b eca u se o f th e l o n e l i n e s s . We had a hobby farm but no fr i e n d s . Here we have many, many fr ie n d s bu t nobody m u ld e v e r con s i d e r k is s in g a g o a t on t h e U p s .

I en jo y a b road spectru m o f m usic— "a l i t t l e b i t o f ev ery th in g and n ot much o' n o t h in ' ." —l i v e t h e a t r e when p o s s i b l e , r e a d in g , TV /m ovies, and doing th in g s w ith fr i e n d s . I'm n ot I n t o drugs and d o n 't sm oke, but do d rin k on o c c a s io n . [ P r e fe r sam e.) Grew up as a B a p t is t , bu t o v e r l a t e r y ea rs h ave le a n e d toioard becoming an E p is c o p a lia n . A lthough n o t a c t i v e l y In v o lv e d In chu rch a t p r e s e n t , w ould l i k e t o be a c t i v e . T h at's me In a n u tsh ell-. I loant a b a s i c a l l y s im p le l i f e w ith som eone who can h a p p ily s e t t l e d o m t o t h a t ty p e r o u t in e . S hou ld you resp o n d , f e e l f r e e t o a s k any q u e s tio n s w hich may o c c u r . A ll t h e b e s t , H arris 110-C E. A rtesia n Ave. Montezuma, GA 31063

♦ V ear F rien d s,

I am 35 y ea rs o l d , h e a lth y , h a iry , sm ile y , and with a l i t t l e ch u tz p ah . I am now la y in g the groundiw rk fo r a dream I h av e, th a t is to c r e a t e a 20-25 room f u l l - s e r v i c e inn to be l o c a t e d alon g th e New England c o a s t . I'm lo o k in g to m eet ap w ith someone to s h a re in t h is v en tu re, and make i t our l i f e ' s w ork. Our work fo r now w i l l be co n cern ed w ith th e c a r e f u l plann in g o f t h is in n , and th en i t s su b seq u en t o p e r a tio n . I t w i l l be a r e t r e a t fo r p e o p le wanting a p la c e t o go to g e t away from t h e New York and Boston m e tr o p o lita n a r e a s ; o f f e r i n g r e s t and p e a c e , and an o u tsta n d in g l e v e l o f fr i e n d l y s e r v i c e and w h o le -fo o d d ie t. You a r e som eone who has a t t a in e d some m easure o f fo u r th d im en sion al c o n s c io u s n e s s . . . someone who would n ot on ly be a b u sin ess p a r tn e r but a l s o th e o t h e r h a l f of my s p ir it u a l, h o u seh o ld . You a r e one w hose a t t i t u d e r e f l e c t s t h e b le s s in g s o f l i f e r a t h e r than t h e m is fo r tu n e s , who b e l i e v e s t h a t th e fu tu r e I s In d eed l i m i t l e s s , and b r i l l i a n t w ith p o t e n t i a l . You en jo y m eetin g a l l ty p es o f p e o p l e from a l l o v e r t h e w orld , and r e c e i v e s a t i s f a c t i o n from making p eo p l e f e e l g ood a b o u t th e m selv es. You a r e f i n a n c i a l l y s e c u r e , and a b l e t o ap p roach t h i s p r o j e c t w ith some e x p e r ie n c e In b u s in e s s . Perhaps you a r e a l s o an RFV r e a d e r . . .

We a r e lo o k in g fo r a r u r a l , a g r i c u lt u r a l a r e a In t h e S u n b e lt w ith an a d u lt Gay p o p u la tio n . We would l i k e t o buy a hobby farm In an a r e a where t h e c o n v e r s a tio n I s a b o u t g o a t s ,

Joel c / o RFV

♦

V ear F rien d s,

Vean B r o th e r s ,

I ’ d t i k e t o be p en p a ls w ith o t h e r gay p eo p le., e s p e c i a l l y (rom ( o r e ig n co u n tA le s. I ’ ve alw ays en jo y e d w ritin g t o p e o p le but d on ’ t do I t t o o muck. I'm 6 ’ 0", 185 l b s . , laAjge b u ild , bnown kalA w ith h a z e l- b lu e ey es . I'm 21 yns. o l d , c le a n , matuAC, and n ot I n t o dAugs and heavy ch in kin g on sm oking. 1 l i v e in N on th-C en tral Alabama and I l e a d a veny l a id - b a c k and n e la x e d l i f e s t y l e . I ( anyone i s in ten .es t e d in bein g p en p a ls p le a s e u n ite . Thanks, Vanyt fj'iom Alabama c f o RFV

♦ Vean. in ten d s I am 4S, a Pisc&s [2 -2 2 -3 9 ), 5'7" 735#, and have a b ean d , T do n ot use a l c o h o l , to b a cc o on d ru g s. Vo n ot want an ythin g to d u ll my n a tu ra l sen ses (rom en jo y in g t i l e and th e p e o p le 1 am neon! I was m a rried and have thn.ee s o n s . Have been d iv o r c e d oven 6 y ea n s, but Still have a good r e l a t i o n s h i p w ith my (a m ity . 1 am h o n e s t, open , s e n s i t i v e and can in g . I ’ m proud to be gay and reg u l a r l y sp ea k to c o l l e g e s , u n iv er s i t i e s and o t h e r gnoups a b o u t th e p o s i t i v e a s p e c t s o ( bein g g ay . S eekin g t o g iv e and r e c e i v e a t t e n t io n , a ( ( c c t l o n , and lo v e . Need to be hugged, tou ch ed , a p p r e c ia t e d and want to g iv e the same to someone veny s p e c i a l . in jo y t r a v e l in g , t h e a t e r , m o v ies, m usic (a l l e x c e p t hand nock $ o p e r a ) , y ard work, re a d in g , some q u ie t ev en in g s, and cu d d lin g . Looking (on som eone who is c o m (o r ta b le enough with himsel( t h a t he can ex p res s h is lo v e to me in a s in c e r e manner. 1 am a man a/id n eed to lo v e and be lo v e d by a man. 1 rea ch ou t t o you w ith lo v e . V a lia s H am er P .0 . Sox 3806 K n o x v ille , TN 613-688-6994

37927 ♦

Nov. 1 1 . The m oon lig h t sh in in g ■through a s k y l i g h t window w akes me up w e ll b e(o n e dawn. Somewhere an owl h o o t s , t h e o n ly sound t o b e h eard . "Bum i t ' s c o ld ," I r e a c h ( o r t h e q u i l t . A ttem pting t o s l e e p a g a in , I p u l l t h e co v ers o v e r my h ea d . But t h e u su a l morning h ard -on won’t go m a y , 7 h a l( s le e p . Looking a t t h e m illio n s o ( s t a r s throu g h t h e s k y l i g h t , 7 ( e e l my a lo n e n e s s . Vreamin g o ( a g e n t l e l o v e r ly in g n ex t to me, 1 tu rn o v e r to s t r o k e h is b a ck . The ow l h o o t s , b rea k in g t h e s p e l l . Time to g e t up. A c l e a r c o ld Novem b e r s u n r is e . S t i l l no snow y e t . Having some c o ( ( e e , th in k in g o ( what to do w ith th e day. I t d o e s n ' t t a k e tong to d e c id e on (irew o o d c u tt in g . Soon t h e r e w i l l be a b liz z a r d . Out a t a lo g g in g s i t e , c l e a r e d o ( b ir c h a y ea r ag o , 7 c le a n up some o ( t h e i r w a ste. Taking a b r e a k (rom chain saw n o is e , rea c h in g ( o r t h e therm os 7 n o t ic e movement a t th e edge o ( v is i o n . Tunning, 7 (in d a l a r g e b u l l m oose w andering s lo w ly up the. 1t i l l , He s to p s h e r e and t h e r e to munch on ( r e s t k i l l e d p la n t s . 7 q u i e t l y loatch h is p a s s a g e , ( e e lin g a t p e a c e . The a n c ie n t s i l e n c e o ( t h e (c r e s t , see p s in t o my s o u l. P e e l ing t h i s , knowing t h i s o t h e r teonld i s why 7 s ta y h e r e . Not q u it e a lo n e . Back a t home co ok in g d in n er , 7 long (o r someone to be s i t t i n g a t t h e ta b le . But in s t e a d th e dog and c a t g e t d elu x e d in n e r s . 7 e x p e c t th ey m ight s t a r t t a tk in g any day now. I'm h e r e . That e x t r a ch a in w a its t h e r e empty. The p h y s ic a l s t u ( ( : 32 t r ip s around s o l , 6 ’ 4", 185*, brown e y e s , long brown h a i r , no bean d -m ou stach e, medium amount o ( body h a i r , n o t m u scu lar— bu t am stro n g (rom woods w ork. Not to o ( a t . Von’ t d r in k o r u se d ru g s, ex c e p t ( o r to b a cc o [would be w ittin g to q u i t ) . Not a ( a n a t lc , r e l i g i o u s on o t h e r w is e . Am c le a n bu t n ot " d e a n c u t ," I ’m no y u p p ie. P r e (e r som eone n ear my age o r younger. Your p h oto (o r mine. Kim Bre ttinqen Box 533 Finland, MN 55603 ♦

I'm 46 and s le n d e r a t 6' and 185 l b s w ith s m a ll, (irm , round p e c s . I ’m a (ab u lou s co o k [m o stly t r a d i t i o n a l ( arm (ood) and have ab o u t 1,500 volumes (rom Asimov t o H eideg g e r ( o r a t o g e t h e r body b u ild e r and w eig h t l i ( t e r t o r e a d . 7 don ’ t know w h eth er y ou ’r e b u i l t l i k e P e te r Ber l i n o r Gordon G rant o r your own s c u lp tu r e d c r e a t io n l i k e Frank l a n e ’s o r V olph Ludgren's but 7 know y ou 'v e been around; you have a h e a lth y , i r o n i c s e n s e o ( humor; you have r e g r e t s , as 7 d o ; y ou ’r e p ro b a b ly o v e r t h i r t y and you’ r e a g en tlem an . Maybe you sm oke. . . 1 do. Y ou're w h ite o r H isp an ic. 7 t e a c h ( o r a l i v i n g ; 7 w r it e l i t e r a r y c r i t i c i s m ( o r p u b li c a t io n ; 7 do o i l p a in tin g s t o e x p res s m y se l(. You c o u ld be th e "Helga" t o my "Wyeth" as 7 do o ( ( - b e a t s k e t c h a ( t e r s k e t c h and p a in tin g a ( t e r p a in t in g o ( you. I ( we s t a y t o g e t h e r , we m ight becom e (am ous. . . o r n o to rio u s 7 l i k e Rock and R o ll m usic and s p ic y c u r r ie s and Van Gogh and M a tisse. 7 was n o is e d C a th o lic bu t nowadays 7 p r a c t i c e my own (onm o ( Buddhism w ith d a l l y m e d ita tio n and yoga. At tim es I'm in t o n othing bu t m y sel( and my c a r e e r ; I'm in s e c u r e and 7 n eed a man's n u rtu rin g . R a ised in r u r a l In d ia n a n ea r C hica g o, I now l i v e and t e a c h C o lle g e E n g lish in a s m a ll, i s o l a t e d com m unity on t h e n orth ern p la in s — a t l e a . i t u n t i l t h e jo b m arket lo o s e n s up enough ( o r me t o move t o an urban en vironm en t. I ’m t i r e d o ( lis t e n in g t o t h e ow ls h o o t and t h e lo o n s c a l l . I lon g ( o r t h e c r a z in e s s o ( c i t y l i ( e ; I b e l i e v e t h e new ( r o n t i e r i s in r e b u ild in g t h e c i t i e s o ( America. J o in me in t h e ad v en tu re o ( my l i ( e i ( you can h an d le r i s k — I'm a n ic e guy w ith a P h .V .; I ’ m p ro b a b ly c a p a b le o ( le a r n in g t o l o v e . W rite and t e l l me w ith p h o to s and a phone number i ( you w ish tohy y ou ’ r e t h e on e ( o r me. Your A q u a r lu s -w ith -S c o rp io - R isin g , Mike M orianty P ost 0 ( ( i c e Box 342 V a lle y C ity , NV 58072

♦ Vean F rien d s, G reetin g s (nom S ou th ern I l l i n o i s ! T his r e c e n t ly tr a n s p la n t e d C hicago a r e a n a t iv e s e e k s ( r ie n d s in t h e C a rb cn d a lc, I l l i n o i s , AREA ( o r com-

panions h ip 8 ? A lso s e e k in g pen-pat6 £tom anywhette, e s p e c i a l l y felltow chubbie6 and t e d d y -b e a r s . (Photo appreciated, t h e mono, r e v e a lin g th e b ette a .) T am GWM, 32 y ea rs o f a g e , S'8", 220 l b s . , Brown h a ir and e y e s , moustache and q u it e HAIRY, e s p e c i a l ly c h e s t and b a c k , I would en jo y heading from anyone w illin g t o u n ite , e s p e c i a l l y a i s o if, you 've moved from a l a r g e t o w n fc it y t o a smalt town, t i k e I d id . As a pens on who has had a lo v e n in the p a s t, 7 am j u s t HOW d a tin g again, but ki.nd of, ta k in g th in g s "slow and e a s y ," as i t has been q u ite a lon g tim e s in c e my l a s t dating ex p e d ie n c e s ( f i v e y ea n s,) 7 p r e fe r non-sm okens, d i s l i k e a l c o h o lic s and o t h e r " su b s ta n ce ab u sers," as 7 am none o f t h e a b o v e. I en joy th e c o m p a n y /fr ien d sh ip o f matune and i n t e l l i g e n t gen tlem en , e s p e c ia l ly i f th e y know w hat t h e y tike/w an t in l i f e . 7 am a v ery a f fe c t io n a t e pen son , 7 e n jo y cu d d lin g the most ( a f t e r a ll., t h a t ' s what ted d y -bears a r e fo r , a r e n ' t th e y ? ), and keepin g up w ith f r i e n d s , My hobbies vary, bu t m o stly 7 en jo y music (most k in d s ) , m u sic a ls , movies, porn, t i t i o o r k ( a / p ) , r e a d ing ( e s p e c i a l l y gay l i t , ) , rom an tic e v e n in g s - b y - t h e - fir e . (Hot n e c e s s a r ily in th a t o r d e a l) Would a l s o enjoy h earin g from t h o s e o f you who are c o m p letely i s o l a t e d and lo n e l y , as 7 do c a r e . S in c erely , B ill of S outhern I l l i n o i s d o RFV

♦ Dear B ro th ers , Country l i f e - t h a t ' s fo r me! 7 m n t to sm ell th e e a r th n o t au to em ission s! 7 want to l i v e as sim p ly and s e l f - s u f f i c i e n t l y as p o s s i b l e ; as c lo s e to n atu re as p o s s i b l e ! 7 l°ant to become a s e l f - s u f f i c i e n t gardener! Living c l o s e t o n atu re and mastering th e a r t (8 s c i e n c e ) o f gardening fo c u s es your mind and s p i r i t on fundam ental r e .a l it y as we.ll as on t h e m ir a c le and g lo r y o f life . 7 d e s p e r a t e ly need t o be so fo cu sed or e l s e 7 q u ic k ly s t a r t to lo s e my sen se o f c o n n e c tio n , my s a n ity , my re a s o n f o r b e in g . 1 am very v is u a l! A garden can be (should be) a v is u a l f e a s t (w ith flo w ers, f r u i t t r e e s e t c ) as w e ll as a g astron om ic f e a s t as w e ll as a s p ir it u a l jo y . i t n o u rish es body, m<-ad, and s o u l! 1 1 seek to p a r t i c i p a t e in and h e lp

d e v e lo p an e c o n o m ic a lly v i a b l e , a l t e r n a t iv e , n a tu r a l, cou n try l i f e s t y l e t h a t u t i l i z e s tec h n o lo g y w is e l y and harm on iou sly - n ot d e s t r u c t i v e l y . A " fa m ily farm" sh a red w ith "Mr Right" would be a fa b u lo u s jo y ! Or bein g a part, o f a c o o p e r a t iv e o r a c o o p e r a t iv e netw ork o f f e r s a l a r g e r s c a l e and t h e p o s s i b i l i t y o f ex c it in g and u n ite d en d eav ors and a c com p lish m en ts. Most o f a l l 7 j u s t want I t t o happen! And en dure, and be e q u i t a b l e ! So 7 and we must be p r a c t i c a l and th in k lon g term (be com m itted) and y e s , t r e a t ea ch o t h e r and t h e la n d and t h e garden w ith T .L .C . The la n d I s t h e g r e a t e s t o f a l l r e s o u r c e s and i f you t r e a t i t w e ll and work w ith i t in humble d e v o tio n , i t w i l l m u ltip ly your b le s s in g s many fo ld ! I t w i l l y i e l d m arvelous fo od and f i b e r and b u ild in g m a te r ia ls and m arket produce (money) as w e ll. The c o s t o f th e la n d i s to me th e g r e a t e s t o b s t a c l e . Once lan d i s a c q u ir e d (on c r e d it ? or by pooling resources? or p erh ap s you have a l rea d y s o lv e d t h i s problem 8 i f so you a r e b le s s e d ) i t w i l l (can) pay f o r I t s e l f and p ro v id e f a r a l l ! 7 have some e x p e r ie n c e ana have g iv en a l o t o f thou ght to gardening as a " tru ck farm ing" b u sin ess and 7 know f o r su r e t h a t hard work com bined w ith kn ow ledge, s e n s i t i v i t y and the p ro p er (o r g a n ic ) methods w i l l y i e l d h igh r e tu r n s ! The s i z e o f th e g a r den can be s c a l e d t o m eet a l l needs w ith o u t g r e a t l y a l t e r in g the c h a r a c t e r o f th e n a tu ra l enviAonment as a w h ole. Man sh o u ld n ever plow " fen ce t o fen c e" f o r that, i s a d e s e c r a t io n ; n or sh o u ld a man farm fo r d o l la r s a lo n e f o r t h a t i s an im p ov erish m en t o f th e s o u l! My g o a l is n ot to make money but t o be p r a c t i c a l and do what i s n e c e s s a r y t o a c co m p lish a sa n e and s p i r i t u a l l y s a t i s f y i n g l i f e . Making money (su rv iv in g ) in th e coun t r y i s n ot th e e a s i e s t th in g to a c com p lish but t h e la n d w i l l p r o v id e an enduring fo u n d a tio n ! C r a ft s , w oodw orking, p o t t e r y , w r it in g , a r t w ork, e t c . o f f e r s avenues o f e x p r e s s io n and f u l f i l l m e n t as w e ll as p o t e n t i a l f i n a n c i a l r e c o r d . Sm all s c a l e b u s in e s s e s and " c o tt a g e in d u s t r i e s " a r e a l s o p o s s i b l e . An orch a rd and nut t r e e s can be p lan n ed 8 s t a r t e d . A "nursery" i s a p o s s i b i l i t y , " ch ristm as t r e e s " e t c o r th e a e s t h e tic a lly s e n s itiv e 6 s c i e n t i f i c th in n in g or " h arv est" o f hi.gh g ra d e lum ber - n ev er " c le a r cu ttin g " o r an y th in g damaging to th e la n d o f c o u r s e ! Any i d e a s ?

c u la r , s en su a l bod y . I am 44 (lo o k more l i k e 3 0 ), s h o r t brown h a i r , v ery s h o r t b ea rd , b lu e e y e s , h e a lth y , e d u ca ted , "s t r a ig h t 1' acting-appear ing. I have many i n t e l l e c t u a l . , a e s t h e t i c and s p i r i t u a l con cern s and in t e r e s t s as w e ll a s p r a c t ic a l, con cerns. I b e l i e v e we must emphasize ecological s a n it y , th e r e ju v e n a tio n o f th e fond as w e ll as th e body and s o u l, and th e d ev elop m en t o f c o o p e r a t iv e unions and com m u nities. 7 have been q u it e d e p r e s s e d , w ith drawn, and s e l f - d e s t r u c t i v e l a t e l y and have n ot been c l o s e t o anyone f o r q u it e a w h ile . I hope you RFV r e a d e r s w i l l change th a t f o r me. C lo sen ess i s as im p ortan t as n atu re and in f a c t i s r e a lt y a p e r t o f i t . 7 d e s p e r a t e ly need b o th ! I have n e it h e r ! I f you a re a c a r in g in d iv id u a l or a c o o p e r a t iv e group w e ll alon g the wan to s a lv a t io n and lo v in g harmony, 7 n ot o n ly would t i k e to hear from you, I need t o hear from you! H elp ! Help me so I can h e lp you so we can a l l h e lp each o t h e r . L e t's jo in t o g e th e r and r e j o i c e in our u n ity . Love, s p i r i t u a l harmony, h e a lth y n a tu ra l b a la n c ed liv i n g , jo y is pos sible, i s n ' t i t ! I'm p r e t t y tow r ig h t now bu t v ery h o p e fu l; ptease^ w r i t e ! Reach o u t and tou ch! ~~Vou~ w i l l be g la d you d id ! Thank you v ery much! Take c a r e ! "The meek s h a l l i n h e r i t th e e a r t h ." L e t's hope! L e t's do i t ! In h op e, fr ie n d s h ip and lo v e Yours t r u ly , Von o f M issou ri c / o RFV

♦ Would you l i k e a handsome new fr ie n d who has s p a r k lin g e y e s , a d eep lau g h , a m rm h e a r t , big s h o u ld e r s , and a h a ir y c h e s t? I'm 37 y r s . o ld 8 have been te a c h in g s c h o o l in Texas f o r 3 y r s . T his summer I w i l l retu r n to Hew England to liv e, in a q u ie t a r e a . Miss t h e change o f s e a s o n s , th e c o o l a i r , the o c ea n , and my fa m ily and fr ie n d s in R . I . , Mass, and Vermont. O ccasion a l l y en jo y t h e s t im u la t io n and n i g h t l i f e o f big c i t i e s bu t want a home more in th e co u n try .

Vo you have a r i c h s o u l and a n ic e sm ile? I ' d lo v e t o h e a r from you. My i d e a l new fr i e n d w ould b e a b a la n c ed , happy, h e a lt h y man o v er 30 who i s b r ig h t and knows how to I f you a r e i n t e r e s t e d in my " v it a l k e e p h im s e lf c o m fo r t a b le . I f s t a t i s t i c s " - I am S' 10", 140 lb s and y o u 're an a r t i s t , a cra ftsm a n , a I have a r a th e r y o u th fu l, le a n , mus b ea rd e d s c h o l a r , o r sim p ly a n ic e 77

guy w r it e to d a y ! you.' i t m eet an inte.ttx.ge.nt, 6'3" t a l l , muS t a c h io e d man who look.s lik e , a f o o t b a l l p la y ea bu t who i s a f f e c t i o n a t e and has s p i r i t u a l and " s i l l y " s i d e s hidden ifrom view . J en jo y TM, t x a v e l , d a n cin g , b i c y c lin g , swimming, X -cou ntry s k i in g , m assage, h e a d in g , and r e la x in g a t home. Maybe you can show me how t o k e ep a garden on w here t o h ik e throu gh t h e l u l l s » 7'm alw ays n eady to new adventua.es as lon g as t h e y d on ’ t in v o lv e d ru g s, heavy a l c o h o l u s e , on s e r io u s p o l i t i c s . Want t o shon e a hug, a h i s s , on a ni.de thnough th e countnysi.de? P le.ase g e t in to u c h „ 7 w i l l answen a l t l e t t e n s from Mew England and e n jo y p h o to g r a p h s . Happy H olid a y s! Mike the P iscean c / o RFV

♦ 7 am lo o k in g {on lo v e , bu t 7 know th a t fit.lends make t h e b e s t love.ns and l i f e t i m e com panions and someone, t h a t , even w ith s a f e s e x , knows what to do w ith what. God p u t betw een h is le g s . I want a man who knows how to commumcate, especially verbally, express t h e ir love, their f e e l i n g s , and who i s n ot a in a id bein g h im self). 1 know wha t makes my b loo d ' n i s e , but t h e s e has to be som ething to do and t a lk a b o u t the o t h e r 23 hours of, ana g iv en day. A-'ie th e s e any GW Men ou t th e s e w ith v a lu es who a s e h ir s u t e , c o n fid e n t to p s, HTV-neg., FR. a / p , s e n s i t iv e and a f f e c t i o n a t e , who want a mono gamous r e l a t i o n s h i p and has any id e a tehat i t ta k e s to k e e p a s t a t io n s h ip t o g e th e r and i s w it lin g to (ocnk a t i t ? R e la t io n s h ip s j u s t d o n ' t " h ap p en .” I'm U s e d o f b ein g h a s t and u sed by th o s e th a t th in k th a t b ec a u se time p a s s e s , t h e s e i s a bonded s e l a t i o n s h ip ; when in r e a l i t y , th e s e i s no thing to k eep th e r e l a t i o n s h i p gsowing t o g e t h e s , b eca u se th ey a s e n ot M illin g to sh a se w hat is going on in t h e i s l i v e s .I I am a young 42, 6 '2", 175 l b s . p s o f . and an a c t i v e C h r is t ia n and 7 h ave my head scsew ed on s t r a i g h t , a lth o u g h 7 am g a y . 7 s e e k a n o th er " t i l d ea th do as p a r t" r e l a t io n s h ip , com plete, w ith com m itm ents, cu d d lin g , sh a rin g ea ch o t h e r ' s b o d ie s and minds and w orking tow ards a m u tu ally s a tis fy in g r e la tio n s h ip . 7 would p r e f e r someone who is betw een the ag es o f 35-50, b u t 7 have met some v ery mature men u nder th e age of 35,

I f i n t e r e s t e d , w r it e w ith p h o to . J . o f Texas c / o RFV

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Veas RFV B r o t h e r s : I ' v e l i v e d my l i f e in a m id d lin g s i z e d town w here I ’ ve been lo n e ly and l o s t , bu t I ' v e m issed th in g s b oth w ays: some c u lt u r a l a s p e c t s o f t h e big c i t y , t h e n a tu r a l g ood n ess and q u ie t o f t h e co u n try . The p o in t i s , where. 7 l i v e i s l e s s im portan t. than who 7 am w ith . H o n estly , I'm c e r e b r a l , no s p o r t s man o r farm boy, but go on r e a d in g : p erh a p s y o u ' l l know som eone o a t t h e r e who m ight b e i n t e r e s t e d . 7 do l o v e lon g s t a t e l y w oodland wal.ks and t a l k s w ith a f r i e n d , c o u ld en jo y a p atch o f g a rd en in g , and would t i k e to fin d som ebody a b l e to le a d me in t o sen su ou s w o rk -o u ts. S t i t t , t h e r e a l me, a t p r e s e n t , i s as fo llo w s : 36, 6', S e b a s t ia n C a b o tis h , r e s e r v e d o u t s id e , warm in , a h ig h ly l i t e r a r y t r a d i t i o n a l / c l a s s i c a l n o v e l i s t , p o e t , p la y w r ig h t, m y th o p lu lo so p h c r, E n g lish t e a c h e r (no, no: o u t s id e c l a s s , " c o r r e c t grammar" i s a l e g a l f i c t i o n ) , An g l o p h i l l c h o b b i t - f a n c i e r , a le n t T a o i s t / C h r is t ia n golden-m ean m o d era te. 7 lo v e t o r e a d b e a u t i f u l books a lo u d in t h e ev en in g t i k e t h e V ic t o r ia n s . My w ritin g i s g r a c io u s , m y s t ic a l, d e l i c a t e [though o c c a s io n a l l y e r o t i c ) , and sym phonic, w ith p u re, c r a c k lin g , f e s t i v e , c l a s s i c a l d i c t i o n . My v im s d i f f e r from t r a d it io n a lis m as Chopin d i f f e r s from M ozart. I f 7 sound s t u f f y , I'm n o t. I'm o p e n - h e a r te d , open-m in ded, lo v in g , r e s p e c t f u l , t o l e r a n t . 7 g iv e m y s e lf c r e d i t f o r my a c c o m p lis h m en ts, bu t I'm n o t haughty, and 7 do ev ery b o d y e l s e t h e same fa v o r , B e s id e s , I'm c u r r e n t ly on a low incom e. Pen p a l s , fr i e n d s , w elcom e, p l e a s e . L o v ers? : 18-40, p le a s a n t s k in , p r e f e r a b l y G reek p a s s i v e . M orally a d u lt c h a r a c t e r . 7 w rote "The Man With The Burning E yes," RFV *52, p . ??« P h o t o / l e t t e r ex ch an g e. James V avid S p r e c k e ls 2095 North S t . , Apt. 2 Beaumont, Texas 77701 [409) 832-7634 +

I am a lo n g - h a ir e d c i t y d w e lle r who would l i k e t o h ea r from o t h e r lo n g h a ir e d guys ev ery w h ere. 7 l i v e and work in Los A ngeles w here t h e r e a r e f m rem ain in g sp ecim en s o f ou r n eare x tin c t s p e c ie s l e f t . I ’m 27, 5 ’ 10", h e a lt h - c o n s c io u s , a f f e c t i o n a t e , s e n s u a l, and work w ith com p u te r s „ Am open-m inded and welcome a l l sh a p es and s i z e s . Would l i k e to co rresp o n d w ith lo n g - h a ir e d men, young and o l d , from a l l l o c a t i o n s , e i t h e r as p en p a ls o r w tth t h e p o s s i b i l i t y o f m eetin g [ t r a v e l i s n ot ou t o f t h e q u e s t i o n ) . C hris n.O. Box 3Oil Los A n g eles, CA

90078

Venn, f r i e n d s ,

7 ’ ve been rea d in g RFV a b o u t a y ea r. I'm f i n a l l y r e a l l y g e t t in g s e r io u s a b o u t n a tu r a l l i v i n g , h e a lth y l i v in g , fo o d s , e t c . 7 l i v e on Big I s la n d , H aw aii, bu t am on an ex ten d ed v a c a t io n , r e s e a r c h in g s p i r i t u a l av en u es. I would l i k e t o v i s i t a gay commune in C a lif o r n ia o r Nevada [Reno- A r e a ). I ’m 30's , G/W/M, h o t, h o n e s t, s in c e r e , s i n g l e w ith own tr a n s p o r t a t i o n. S in c e r e ly , S tep h en B. c/o RFV

♦ V ear F r ie n d s : I ’ m a evarm, s i n c e r e W/M - 38, 6 '2", 170 l b s , s lim , c le a n -s h a v e n , f a i r l y sm ooth, b lu e e y e s , f a i r l y h e a lth y (HIV n e g a t iv e ) , s e e k in g a toarmh e a r t e d guy 20-38 f o r s in c e r e frien d or lo v e r . I p r e f e r s lim or t h in guys, any r a c e OK, and ten d to l i k e guys who a r e f a i r l y sm ooth o r somewhat b o y is h in lo o k s o r b u ild . I'm open t o many i n t e r e s t s ; some o f mine in c lu d e m u sic, m assage, swim ming, so n g io r itin g , m e d ita tio n (B u d d h ist), m o v ies, oc ea n b e a c h e s , hugging, A sian c u lt u r e , and p sy ch o lo g y . I ’m n o t so much i n t e r e s t e d in co rresp o n d in g p e r s e th an in c o n ta c tin g guys f o r p o s s i b l e mating o r d a tin g . 7 v i s i t L.A. and C hica go a c o u p le o f tim es a y e a r * P lea se icn ite (and i f f e a s i b l e sen d p h oto a n d /o r p h o n e): Bob P .0 . Box 14794 San F r a n c is c o , CA

94114 +

Howdy 36 y r s ., 6' 2", 180*, r e d d is h -b lo n d long h a i r , s h o r t b ea rd , b rn -g m ey es, a r t i s t / e r a ft s p e r s on, home s t e a d e r (no L i v e s t o c k ) . A feiv i n t e r e s t s : fo o d f o r h e a lt h , C hinese m e d ic in a l h e r b s , c l e a n l i n ess, h ik e s , w o rk -o u ts, a l t e r n a t i v e energy!com m unity, w ild e r n e s s , d ev elop in g /m ain ta in in g s u p p o r t iv e , tru stin g f r i e n d s h i p s , t r y in g t o be h on est and fo r g iv in g ..... u h ..... p h y s ic a lly In to d ark h a ir e d men o l d er than me ( s a id 7 was try in g t o be h on est, d id n ' t T?) a b s o lu t e s a f e t y a must .___ but d o n 't s to p rea d in g i f you don ’ t f i t - s e x a i n ' t e v e r y thing . S ta rtin g o v e r a f t e r lon g r e l a t i o n sh ip (much g row th-chan ge) same a r e a , nee ' s te a d . Got a r e a l n i.ee c a b in In t h e woods - 'bout 35 m iles o f f Hwy. 101 In c o a s t a l m ts. o f b e a u t i fu l Humboldt County, Hwy. 36. Welcome t r a v e l l e r s o f t h e c o a s t t o g et in tou ch a b o u t a v i s i t on your m y to /from t h e c i h j (or e l s e w h e r e ) . Atso, would l o v e v i s i t i n g t h e c i t y but need a p la c e w here t o o (v ery w ell t r a in e d but s p o ile d ) A u stra lia n Shepherds can b e ; no one to le a v e them w ith h e r e .

B u ild in g my c a b in 20 m iles from Nevada C ity C a lif (I d r iv e d a l l y fo r work) a g o ld ru sh 1850's f u l l y r e s t o r e d and p r e s e r v e d V ic to r ia n boom town, c a te r in g to t o u r i s t s from Sacramento, 1 hour away o r San Fran c i s c o 2% hrs away. The numerous y u ppie r e s t a u r a n t s and sh op s p r o v id e am ple employm ent. We have a com munity n on -com m ercial r a d io s t a t i o n , e v e r y f n i S s a t , l i v e m usic produ c t io n s , ( c l a s s i c a l , b lu e g r a s s , ja z z , r e g g a e e t c . ) , many c u lt u r a l hap pen ings . The b eau ty n atu re p r o v id e s and t h e jo y s o f t h i s a r e a would be in c r e a s e d f o r me, I f I co u ld s h a r e my l i f e w ith a m ascu lin e m ustached p a r tn e r . A man who en jo y s a l l n ig h t cu d d lin g , l o t s o f k is s in g In fr o n t o f t h e wood s t o v e , bein g massaged by p r o f e s s i o n a l l y t r a in e d hands, n ig h ts under th e s t a r s in a la rg e down f i l l e d b la n k e t , long w alks in th e f o r e s t , soakin g in t h e n a tu ra l h o t s p r in g s , Snows h oein g through the f o r e s t under a f u l l moon, and l o t s o f ca rin g and en erg y by a man ivho had a lo v e r f o r 10 y e a r s . I f u l l y r e a l i z e th e p a r tn e r s h ip I s e e k , can be d i f f i c u l t g e o g r a p h ic a l l y , so I can p o s s ib ly r e l o c a t e , a t l e a s t t r a v e l a b i t , f o r th e h e a r t and soul, do n ot know b o u n d a ries. So p l e a s e d rop me. a lin e, w ith your p hoto (7’ l l retu rn i t )

In terests:

H o r tic u ltu r e ; s u s t a in a b le s m a ll farm s; a r t ; m usic from coun try t o c l a s s i c a l ; Tur t l e I s la n d ; W estern U s to n y ; o u td o o r s ; good l i t e r a t u r e ; bein g n aked ; making l o v e . 7 h ave a trem endous amount o f p a s s io n , te n d e r n e s s , f i d e l i t y and fun In s t o r e fo r a m a scu lin e man who lo v e s to lau g h and lo v e and i s not. a fr a id o f fe e lin g s . I f you have s im ila r i n c l i n a t l o n s / i n t e r e s t s , c a l l o r w r it e . I ' l l answ er a l l l e t t e r s . Vour p h oto g e t s m ine. Tom H arris 23838 S . Barlow Rd. Canby, OR 97013 (503) 266-3179 ♦ Dear F rien d s, 7 am a GWM age 19. Blond h a ir blu e e y e s . 5’6 " 148 t b s . Looking fo r a man who w ilt g iv e me th e T .L .C . what 7 n eed m ost. 7 r e c e n t ly moved h ere in a sm all town h ere in Oregon, 7 would like to co rresp o n d w ith o t h e r gay guys cau se age d o n 't make much so w hatever your age m ight he w r ite me okay sen d a p ic t u r e and I w i l l exchange m ine. Ron o f Oregon c / o RFD

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Take c a r e y o ' s e l f ,

Tr a t h f u l l y in S p i r i t

Dear RFD:

Trevor P.0. Box 117 B r ld g e .v ille , CA

G.B. C old S p rin g s Ranch P .0 . Box 681 Nevada C ity , CA 95959

A fte r a few y ea rs o f moving a b o u t, name ch a n g es, e t c . , 7 seem t o have, s e t t l e d on a home and a perm anent name. 7 a l s o w ish to ( r e )e s t a b l i s h c o n t a c t w ith p e o p le I 've met o v e r th e y e a r s , o t h e r s whose, names and a d d r e s s e s have changed, so t h a t w e'v e l o s t c o n t a c t .

95526 ♦

HOWDV from the. g o ld ru sh ( t i l l s o f C a lifo r n ia . S it t in g h ere under tow ering o a k s , t h e c o ld sp rin g fe d stream ru shin g by, making th e on ly sound e x c e p t f o r t i e hawk o v e r h e a d * I’m 30, 5'11", 155, brown h a ir 6 e y es, l a r g e h a n d leb a r m ou stache, m ascu lin e rugged outdoorsm an, r e turning t o 1800's g o ld ru sh l i f e s t y le . B u ild in g a c a b in on my la n d h e r e , w h ite liv i n g ou t o f a V olks wagen bus (d o esn ’ t ru n )„ The a l t it u d e o f t h i s h i l l y a r e a 2500 f t , I s t h e begin n in g o f th e S ie r r a Nevada m ountains, 6- 8,000 f t , snow capped p e a k s , 30 m iles away„ Squaw V alley and a dozen o t h e r s k i r e s o r t s around Lake T ahoe, o n ly one hour away. S pen t s e v e r a l summers working fo r t h e r e t o r t s , w hich p r o v id e many jo b s in t h e m ou n tain s, The f o r e s t la n d p r o v id e s l o t s o f w ild er n ess a r e a s to h ik e , from th e f o o t h i l l s to th e to p s o f th e p e a k s .

♦ I'm a co u n try boy s e t t l e d back on the farm a f t e r a long tim e gon e. I ’d l i k e t o g e t a c q u a in te d w ith o t h e r men in t h e P a c i f i c N orthw est o r anyw here; t o b u ild some fr ie n d s l i p s a n d /o r fin d a s p e c i a l man t o s h a r e l i f e w ith . Vital. S t a t s : Age 38; L eo; 5 ’ 9", 148 l b s . blon d h a ir , h a z e l e y e s ; d e c e n tlo o k in g . O regon-born, p io n e e r s t o c k . T ested HIV n e g a tiv e and w ork in g t o s t a y t h a t way. T his P la c e : A n in e a c r e suburban farm 30 m inutes from P o rtla n d „ D evelopin g in to a n u rsery / g r e e n hou se o p e r a t io n p lu s Sm all l i v e s t o c k . Room fo r g u e s t s . C lo se to c u lt u r e , b e a c h e s , m oun tain s, r i v e r s , la k e s .

I’m s e t t l e d i n a c o l l e c t i v e h o u se h o ld in S e a t t l e , w ith two o l d fr ie n d s o r i g i n a l l y from my North C a ro lin a d a y s . We a r e a c t i v e in f a i r y g a t h e r in g s , l o c a l c i r c l e s , e t c . We a l s o have g u e s t s le e p in g s p a c e , e s p e c i a l l y w ith ad v an ce n o t ic e . F a y g ele benMiriam (ne John S in g er) 1510 19th Ave. S e a t t l e , WA 98122 (206) 324-4107 ♦ G oodloo k in g , a t h l e t i c a l l y - b u i l t , young m id d le-a g ed (40) wants to be. fr ie n d s and d e v e lo p a d e e p e r r e l a t io n s h ip w ith a n o th e r young man ( p r e fe r y ou n g er). Looks a r e l e s s im portant, t o me, than t h e q u a lit y o f

inner (UMsie.ne.i6 and 6Viang positive energy.

1 am a h ig h ly m o tiv a ted , e n e r g e t ic , c r e a t i v e , p r o f e s s i o n a l s e lf- e m p lo y e d and w e ll- e d u c a t e d . Vet I r e l a t e veay c o m fo r ta b ly w ith young 20 y e a r o ld s and I en jo y y o u th fu l enengy and j u s t g ood fun and p a r t i e s w ith fr ie n d s v i s i t i n g th e h ou se. tty e x c e l l e n t p h y s ic a l sh a p e i s t h e r e s u l t o f swimming d a i l y and w orking ou t w ith w eig h ts at. t h e gym t h r e e -times a w eek. I a l s o s k i a l o t , p la y t e n n is , b ik e 6 h ik e . I'm lo o k in g f o r a young man who w ould t i k e t o s h a r e h is dream s, ex p e c t a t io n s , fu tu r e p la n s and p a s s io n s . I would l i k e t o p r o v id e a s a f e environm ent e m o tio n a lly and p h y s ic a ll y in w hich a younger man co u ld r e a l l y open up w ith me. Mow Vm not coun ting on any l i f e - l o n g commitments nor even a n t ic ip a t in g any p h y s ic a l in v o lv e m en t. W hile I l i v e in A la sk a , I t r a v e l throu ghou t the c o n t in e n t a l U.S. fo r p le a s u r e and o c c a s io n a ll y on b u s i n ess, s o d on ’ t l e t the d is t a n c e d e t e r you. I f you lo v e a t h r i l l and new a d v e n tu r e s , you may be th e young man I ’m lo o k in g fo r . Yours in s p i r i t , Jeff P.0. Box 201161 A nchorage, AK 99520 4

IS THERE ANVBOVV OUT THERE........ . t h a t ’ s what I ’m w on derin g, lo o k in g ou t o f t h e window o f my c a b in , - lo o k in g ou t a t t h e b e a u t i f u l , m a jes t i c Norwegian mountains in autumn c o lo u r s . Or am 7 a lo n e w anting t o spend my l i f e in c l o s e c o n t a c t w ith n atu re and an im a ls, a r u r a l l i f e f i l l e d w ith t r a d i t i o n a l c u lt u r e as farm in g, hunting and f i s h i n g . I ’m a 33 y ea r o ld Norwegian gay, 190 c m ./84 k g ., blon d and b lu e -e y e d . R e cen tly l have ta k e n o v e r t h e fa m ily farm . I know 7 have ta k e n t h e r i g h t c h o ic e as 7 a l s o know c i t y - l i f e . I m s f o r s e v e r a l y ea rs liv i n g in Oslo and have s e e n l o t s o f o t h e r European c i t i e s throu g h my jo b and a l s o throu gh ta k in g p a r t in s p o r t s a r r a n g m e r its . E x p erien cin g urban l i f e made me u n d erstan d w here 7 belon g and w hat kin d o f l i f e 7 want t o l i v e . T r a d it io n a l Norwegian c u lt u r e i s v ery much co n n ected t o n a tu re, n o t on ly t h o u g h farm ing and f o r e s t r y , but a l s o w ith hunting and fis h in g . S t i l l 7 have an a d m in is t r a t iv e jo b o u t s id e -the farm , bu t I h ope t o r e s t o r e t h e farm so t h a t 7 (toe ?) can make a liv i n g from i t . T h e r e fo r e I ’m lo o t in g f o r a p a r tn e r w ith enough m en tal and p h y s ic a l co u ra g e and s t r e n g th t o t r y a "VIKING” l i f e s t y l e . 7 know i t w on 't be e a s y , as common i n t e r e s t s a r e n o t enough to make a l i f e l o n g p a r t n e r s h ip . ' But sh a rin g i n t e r e s t s and w ork, s t r u g g lin g , sw eatin g and fr e e z in g t o g e t h e r can a t t a c h two who c a r e fo r ea ch o t h e r v ery c l o s e .

I'm d i s c r e e t , s i n c e r e , g e n t l e , hon e s ty Age 24. bn jo y the t h e a t e r , m u sic, a r t s , b e a c h e s , b o o k s, t r a v e l and would l i k e to g e t to know any American or o t h e r n a t i o n a l i t y w i l l ing to d rop a t in e t o a young B r a z ili a n . Vo 1 stan d a ch an ce o f g e t t in g t o know any? I do hope so .

tty e x p e r ie n c e s w ith m ost gays in S ca n d in a v ia and Europe so fa x I s th a t they a r e fr ig h t e n e d i n t o c i t i e s , ah e r e th ey can h id e in g h e t t o s and t h e i r modern, a r t i f i c i a l f l a t s . But I w a it a p a r tn e r who is n ot a f r a i d o f ex trem e w ea th er and n atu re s u r roun dings. Who en jo y s u sing h is body in hard w ork, s p o r t and s e x . Who i s n ot a fra u d o r asham ed bein g c o n fr o n te d w ith h is h o m o sex u a lity . Who have demands t o l i f e and who i s c a p a b le to f u l f i l l i t . Who i s a b l e to r e l a t e to a n o th e r p erso n un s e lfis h ly .

T hope to h ea r from someone ou t t h e r e so th a t toe can d e v e lo p a good fr i e n d s h i p . L e t ’ s be fr ie n d s and know more a b o u t ou r c o u n t r ie s , l i f e s . w ish es . . .

By chan ce 7 le a r n t a b o u t RFV and so I ’m a sk in g on ce a g a in : Is th e r e am /body o u t t h e r e among you r e a d e r s who have enough dreams, guts and w i l l to t r y to f u l f i l l t h is w ith me?

With lo v e ,

P le a s e w r it e t o :

J u n io r

S te in B ru baek, 6636 ANGVIK NORWAY 4

Vear RFV:

Ca-ixa P o s ta l 146 F o r t a le z a -C e a r a C e p .60.001 B r a z il 4

Here i s a b r i e f d e s c r ip t io n o f my s e lf: I am 32 y ea rs o f a g e , 5 ’ 6" t a i l , 130 l b s . in w eig h t, o f -lig h t brown com plexion and b la c k c u r ly h a i r . My p r o f e s s i o n i s t e a c h in g , and 7 en jo y swimming, t r a v e l l i n g and e x t e n s iv e r e a d in g , e s p e c i a l l y sex m agazines su ch as "FORUM", which i s my fa v o u r it e . 7 am a l s o e r o t i c in n a tu re, and en jo y m assages and o t h e r s e n s u a l d e l i g h t s , and would w elcom e p en -p a ls o f a s i m i l a r n a tu re. A p ic t u r e w i l l b e s e n t t o a l l who w r it e . Yours s i n c e r e l y , M ich ael o f Ja m a ica c f o RFV 4

A lo n e l y man, wanting t o t r u s t what my l i f e has t o b rin g , s t r iv in g to fin d and l i v e my own dharma and hop in g on e day t o l i v e w ith a n o th e r be s i d e me. I ’ m 33. I ’ m w orking now t o pay s tu d e n t lo a n s and s a v e money f o r a ■trip t o In d ia in a c o u p le o f y e a rs. Theravaden B u d d h ist m e d ita tio n i s c e n t r a l t o my l i f e , and my p e r s p e c t i v e o f t h e w orld has been much in flu e n c e d by B u ddhist p h ilo s o p h y and p ra ctx .ce. I may w e ll becom e a monk som eday, but h ave l o t s o f th in g s to l i v e in t h e w orld in t h e m eantim e. I a l s o p r a c t i c e T 'a i Chi, l i k e t o draw , p a in t , make and l i s t e n to m u sic, tco rk w ith my hands. I lo v e t h e o c ea n , mountains and d e s e r t . I f you to o a r e s t r iv in g f o r b a la n ce and c l a r i t y , h ave known s i l e n c e and s o l i t u d e , p l e a s e w r it e . K eith P .0 . Box 354 N otre Vame de G race M on treal, Quebec H4A 3P7 Canada

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I N F O R M A T I O N Mail all correspondence (advertising, subscriptions, business, submissions, feature-related material, or letters) to: RFD, Rt. 1 Box 127-E, Bakersville, NC 20705. Contributors and editors can be reached through this address also.

ADVERTISING BACK ISSUES COPYRIGHT DUE DATES MAILING NAMES

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Sample copies (most current available) are $4.25 (including postage). Back issues are $3.50 if less than a year old. Back issues older than one year are $1.00 each. However, we are out of Nos. 1, 2, 4, 6 , 7, X 32„ Please add postage at $1.00 for each five copies or any portion thereof. RFD itself is not copyrighted. However, each accredited contribution puhTished (photo, drawing, or written material) remains the property of those contributors, and nothino of theirs may be used without their permission. Contributors can be reached through RFD. Any non-credited material may be republished freely. Mention o f source would be appreciated Due dates for submissions to receive full consideration are: Issue #54 Spring 1988 Feature: Drag Feature: Magick Summer 1988 Issue #55 1988 Feature: Music Issue #56 Fall Some material can be used if received after these dates, so try

Feb. 1, 1988 May 1, 1988 Aug. 1, 1988 anyway!

Issues are mailed around the Solstices and Equinoxes, and second class mail can take up to three or four weeks for delivery. If you don't receive your issue within a month of the publishing dates, please check with us. The num ber of your last issue of your sub in on your mailing label. If you move, please let us know as second class mail will not be forwarded. We publish the names of all contributors, but other than for the contact letters, we generally do not include addresses. All contributors can be reached through RFD. We will NOT give out the names of subscribers (except where specified "by them) to anyone, but we will forward mail to them through this address. Please share your knowledge and vision through RFD. This is a reader written journal, so it is YOUR forum. It helps if you can type (double space) your written material, but please do send in your gems even if they are 'rough.' RFD prefers to wield the editor's pencil lightly, so please send in your sub missions pretty much as you would have them appear. We generally do correct spellings and minor punctuations, so please indicate any intentional varia tions ^rom standard English. Photos: Black and white photos reproduce better than color. If possible, send us an expendable print. If you wish to send us a treasured photo which is the only copy, please indicate this so we can take care of it. We can't use negatives. Drawings: Again, black and white reproduce better than color. Pencil draw ings should be as dark and of as high a contrast as possible. Yellow #2 pencil washes out easily; blues do not print at all. (Occasionally, part of a drawing or photo, or collage of various artists will iwork well with an article. Please indicate if you wish your artwork to be printed in its entirety only, or if there are any other considerations you wish us to respect. We try to report as soon as possible on selections, but we sometimes hold material for another issue, and it may be some time before the final decision is made. Please bear with us. You might want to set an expiration date so we'll know how much time we will have. A self-addressed, stamped envelope will insure the return of your originals. Multiple submissions are fine with us. RFD will send contributors two copies of the issue in which their work appears as payment.

PURPLE HANDS OFHEALING, FAGGOT GOD, FAERIE GOD, MY GOD, FIGHT FOR ME! Peter Soderberg