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A QUARTERLY FOR BLACK LESBIANS AND ALLIES

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Fat Lesbians by L. Cherelle

My intentions with this title or article aren’t to criticize, preach or teach, but to offer words of encouragement to all those battling the bulge. I’ve been blamed a time or two, or ten, for making my girlfriend fat. “You made me fat so that no one else would want me,” she says. She blames her love handles and double chin on my cooking choices, late-night eating, frequent trips to fast food joints, and my love for eating then sleeping. Truth be told...

I’m just as much of a culprit in her weight gain as she is. The question of ‘how this happened’ is easily answered. The question of ‘what do we do’ remains a challenge.

Truth be told...

I’ve gained weight too. I’ve packed on about 25 pounds in the past eight years of our relationship.

4 reSOUND - Issue 3 of 4 for 2012

But unlike my partner, I can camouflage my problem areas and shopping for clothes is not an issue for me.

Truth be told...

It’s easy to gain weight with your partner, especially when the two of you are nesting.

Truth be told...

When you gain weight together, no one runs the

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perspective

risk of being “less attractive” and there’s no need to impress the once new girlfriend. As time progresses, you don’t check your partner with a simple, “Baby, put down the burger.” Mutual weight gain can be a sign of complacency.

Truth be told...

It’s hard to monitor yourself and your partner after you’ve adopted a healthier lifestyle. You just can’t expect your partner to do what’s right in your absence, and vice versa. Yes, we have slips-up— several in fact. But we continue to check-in with each other and hold each other accountable for individual and collective food choices.

Truth be told...

It’s easy to make excuses and to support each other when those excuses are made. I can’t count the number of times we’ve used eating-out as an excuse for “living in a boring city,” or skipping a workout because we’ve “worked all day” or eating-out because neither one of us “wants to cook.”

Truth be told...

It’s so much easier to workout when your partner’s on board. But for those who are single, I encourage you to find a workout buddy—someone who’s just as serious about weight loss as you.

Truth be told...

Transitioning to a healthier lifestyle is a hard journey. But it is possible to make healthier eating and exercise a priority just as good sex, quality time, and romance are priorities. The love that you share for your partner, and yourself, must manifest in both tangible and intangible ways.

Truth be told...

Just because I didn’t mind the weight gain, doesn’t mean that I should have continually ignored my good sense and understanding of the world that we live in. Health disparities in the African American community and health risks in our respective families are real and cannot be overlooked for years at a time.

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Celebrate your good days, just as you celebrate anniversaries, other milestones, and all things that make your partnership and love unique.

I know, whole-heartedly, that it’s truly a challenge to take control of your health. As Black lesbian women, we face and endure a number of stressors, some we can and cannot control or eliminate. But my partner and I have learned the following.: The “secret” to a healthier diet and routine exercise is being ready. Five years ago, we weren’t ready to emotionally or physically commit to the process or a significant change in our lifestyle. But in May 2012, we reached a tipping point. We are both putting in work to ensure that good food choices far exceed less healthy ones, and we both understand that it takes time to fully adapt to better habits. We’ve also learned that we must be realistic in our expectations and goals so that failed attempts or bad days do not equal dissatisfaction or discouragement. •

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read more at: facebook.com\ResolutePublishing or ResPublishing.com

the next issue of reSOUND releases on November 14 contact Resolute: info@ResPublishing.com 24 reSOUND - Issue 3 of 4 for 2012

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Fat Lesbians - reSOUND  

A quarterly publication for Black lesbians and allies.

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