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Summer 2011 Special Conference Magazine
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Summer 2012 | Vol. 2 Iss. 2 Publisher Ayanna F. Kelson
Administrative Assistant Nikki Grey Ministry Relations Coordinator Travis Kelson Creative Director Myron Krys
THE MESSAGE: REFRESH YOURSELF IN GOD
3 ways to get recharged, refocused, and refreshed for the journey ahead.
A SPRIT ABLAZE: 8 PHENOMENAL WOMEN
Women of influence and power take the center stage of Renewed to share their stories, wisdom, and passion for ministry and life.
Contributing Writers Min. Janine Folks Chaplain Cliff Vicars Kymberli Roberts Pastor Kenneth Paden Bishop Dickie Adams Linda Goldfarb
Sheila Owens Zakiya Kyles Jason Price V. Ivana Foster
Advertising & Sales 1-877-644-0454 ext 2 Customer Service 1-877-644-0454 ext 1 Pledging to support the mission of Renewed Magazine: to provide a quality Christian publication that will Transform & Empower the body, mind & spirit.
ADVISORY BOARD Pastor Marquis & Paula Townes (Chairmen) Destiny! Baptist Church Bishop Dickie & Mother Adams Global Ministries International Apostle Sammy Smith Grace Cathedral Ministries Pastor R.J. & Lady Kesha Williams Vision of Faith Christian Ministry
WHAT WE DON’T KNOW CAN HURT US: WHY DOESN’T SHE LEAVE?
A striking look into the reality of domestic abuse and violence. Get the facts and latest statistics as to why some women find it almost impossible to leave their abusive partner.
Bishop Carl W. Weeden, II The Upper Room Church & Ministries
Test Your Knowledge of the Scriptures. Puzzle on page 31.
Bishop Sharon Owens-Hunter Kingdom Empowerment Movement F.O.C.
James Green www.ThePraiseHouse.com Apostle Karen Deadwyler Glory Temple Ministries Inc. To become a partner in ministry, contact us at 1-877-644-0454 ext 2 or visit, www.RenewedMagazineOnline.com
[Departments] Publisher’s Letter........
A Lesson Learned.....
Letters & Prayers.........
Around the World.....
Love Notes............... 
Ministry Spotlight ....
Health & Fitness.........
Life & Work................
Sister to Sister...........
The mission of Renewed Magazine is to create a quality Christian publication that will Transform & Empower the body, mind & spirit. Renewed Magazine is published quarterly (Spring, Summer, Fall & Winter). US subscription $20/4 issues and $40/8 issues. Canadian and foreign orders must add an additional $15 for postage. POSTMASTER: Please send address changes to PO Box 266, Hampton, GA 30228. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part is prohitbited without written permission. Renewed Magazine, LLC uses reasonable effort to ensure all information is accurate and correct. Renewed Magazine does not endorse, assume responsibility or liability for the accuracy of any information including advertising. Neither Renewed Magazine, LLC, its publisher or any other party involved in creating, producing, or delivering is liable for any direct, incidental, indirect, consequential or punitive damages arising out of your access to, use of the piblication or its websites.
from me to you | ayanna f . kelson
As a child, my mother used to be a fanatic when it came to old western and action movies. She was thrilled at the sight of those like Clint Eastwood, Chuck Norris and others who were well known for their ability to overcome the threat of their adversaries. As heroes to many, they were highly skilled at defeating their enemies and rescuing those who were in danger. They seemed to easily conquer the world, held a tight grip on life, and did not allow anything to deter them from victoryâ€” not even fear. Yet, underneath all of that hardcore exterior was a simple human being who at the face of adversity stood on one core foundational belief that â€œI am.â€?
y husband and I are very adamant to correct our small children when we hear them utter certain words like “I can’t” or “I’m too small”. Just the mere sound of these words we educate them are contrary to the Word of God. There are times when they are ecstatic at the purchase of a new gadget or toy. The sealed box shows the assembled and finished product, but once opened, they are often disappointed to see all of the hard labor that will be involved. Suddenly, that expression of glee quickly changes to sadness. At the sight of this, I am almost always obliged to return the product for a new pair of shoes simply because they don’t think they can. They allow one small set-back to deter them from the enjoyment of having what they have asked for. Wow! Out of all of the lessons that we teach them, we fervently stress to our children—even at a young age— the importance of victory and winning. Now, this is not to say we suggest to our children that winning is everything or that they will never lose a battle. However, what we do affirm in them each time they decide to tackle a task or start something new is that they have to believe in themselves first. Obstacles should not be viewed only as stumbling blocks but rather an opportunity to reach higher and remind us that we are more than conquerors. The Bible makes it very clear how we should think. It teaches, “For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he” (Prov. 23:7). In other words, what I believe in my heart as to who I am is who I really am. It doesn’t matter what someone else may think; it only matters who Gods says I am and what I believe about myself. If I think I’m beautiful, and I do, then my lifestyle will follow this belief that is in my heart. If I think I am victorious, then I am and defeat is never an option. If I think I can do all things through Christ, then I will. This is not a sense of pride but an agreement with what the Word of God’s says about me. Nevertheless, this all too often is a struggle for many men and women, both believers and unbelievers. We look at our present circumstances and think we can’t. We view our situations as a permanent fix rather than a momentary trouble that God is working out for our good. And while we attend Sunday service after service, meeting after meeting, have we in fact come to the realization of who we are and what we can have?
BLESSED: “I AM BLESSED IN THE CITY AND BLESSED IN THE FIELDS” (DEUT. 28:3).
HEALED: “BY BY HIS STRIPES I AM HEALED” (ISA. 53:5).
CONQUEROR: “I AM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR THROUGH HIM WHO LOVES ME” (ROMS. 8:37).
These scriptures are just a few of God’s promises that we can have right now. We do not have to wait until we reach the gates of Heaven to enjoy our freedom, liberty, and wealth in Christ. It’s here on Earth for the Believer to access and enjoy. You are who God says you are and can have what He has declared in His Word. Your life is the very inspiration of the Word of God declared throughout eternity. Now is the time for you to strap up your boots, hold your head up high, stick out your chest, and declare I am…(you finish the story).
Letters & Prayers
ARE YOU FOR REAL? Apostle Ron Carpenter hit the nail on the head in the article, “Real Men. Real Issues. Real Solutions.” He dealt with things men face every single day. It is good to know there are leaders and people in high profile positions who have struggled with some of the same problems I have and are not afraid to just be real. Thank you. My prayer is that men from every walk of life will come out of the shadows and get the help that’s available. Robert B. Via Email
TRUTH BE TOLD
I, too, felt a little guilty after Easter this year as I did not know all of this information you wrote in the article, “Truth or Tradition”. Needless to say, I attend church every now and again, but make a big deal out of the special holidays when they fall on Sunday. I’m learning though and I appreciate your willingness to share the truth even when it’s not comfortable. It matters to have Biblical understanding so you can learn and grow. Rita N. Via Email Corrections to the Spring 2012 Issue. Constance C. Martin: Author of “The Chronicles of Connie”. Visit her online at www.chronicalsofconnie.weebly.com
SUMMER 2012 | 7
AM I PRETTY ENOUGH? I am a 22 year old young lady, who is slightly overweight and really need some encouragement. I feel as if my peers and friends’ lives are moving forward. Meanwhile, I am stuck in slow motion feeling useless, confused, and like I am just not good enough for anything. What can I do to make myself better and become successful? I just want to feel like I matter. Please help. Not Good Enough Greer, SC
Dear “Not Good Enough”, First and foremost, who told you that you are not good enough? God says in His Word that you are ““fearfully and wonderfully made; His works are wonderful.” (Psa. 139: 14). You are precious in the Lord’s sight. When God created you, He made you unique and different from all others. And most importantly, He created you for His perfect work and for His glory. You must remember that He did not make a mistake when He made you.
Marijuana: Get the Facts Let’s face it! More and more teens are being pressured to start drinking, smoking, and participate in sexual activities. While it is true peer pressure is a real aspect of growing up, you don’t have to give in. You can make a wise choice to abstain from any activity that’s contrary to the Word of God even if your friends think it’s cool. Just like marijuana—everyone’s doing it, right? Wrong. The fact is most teenagers do not use marijuana. 1 And the more information you know about the effects and influence marijuana can have on you, the better equipped you’ll be to continue to just say no.
In your quest to discover your purpose and who you are, do not measure your success by another person’s standard. Allow God and His Son, Jesus Christ, to be your barometer of success. When you begin to emulate others and pattern your life similar to others, you thwart the plan of God for your life and hinder your own potential. Society needs you, and more specifically, God needs you to complete His divine plan. “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and everything else will be given to you” (Matt. 6:33). Please do not rob us of the opportunity to see His greatness in you.
AKA—Blunt, dope, grass, herb, joint, bud, Mary Jane, pot, reefer, green, trees, and smoke
Lastly, get into a good Bible study where you will be able to search the Scriptures and develop an intimate relationship with God. Pray and ask God to place positive people in your path that will help you in your quest to discover yourself.
THE RISKS: Marijuana can inflict a longlasting, negative impact on your developing brain and body. It can cause severe structural and functional deficits of the brain. It can also cause you to develop weakened verbal and communication skills, lowered learning capabilities, and a shortened attention span. In the long run, marijuana can damage your lungs more than tobacco smoke1.
“Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved” Ephs. 1:4-6.
Sheila E. Owens is a Youth Advisor at Harrison Grove Baptist Church, SC where she has a passion for helping the youth to cultivate their minds for a Christ-centered future.
8 | SUMMER 2012| WWW.RENEWEDMAGAZINEONLINE.COM
WHAT IS IT? Marijuana is a mixture of green and brown dried flowers, stems, seeds, and leaves from the hemp plant Cannabis sativa. It contains an active chemical called tretrahydrocannabinol or THC which moves quickly through the bloodstream to the brain and other organs throughout the body. Marijuana can cause one to hallucinate or to become depressed.
THE BOTTOM LINE: Our bodies are living tabernacles for the Spirit of God to dwell in “…do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own” (1 Cor. 6:19)? We get one shot to live our best life now and this all depends on the decisions we choose to make. Make your life count for Christ by defeating the pressure to use substances that are designed to destroy the life that God has given you. Some statistics taken from 1 http://www.drugabuse.gov
& fitness |
Strawberry Salsa SUNDAES Recipe submitted by Jessica Miller-Epps, author of “Finding God in the Kitchen” Website: www.wix.com/jessicamillerepps/ books
GO GREEN Ladies, are you into healthy living? I’m not talking about the protein shakes on your counter or the mega amounts of fruit and vegetables you have properly categorized in your refrigerator, or even the fitness magazines you have laying around in droves. Admittedly, all of these things are great ways to influence your mind and body, but I’m more interested in your access to clean, oxygenated air. When you breathe in deeply, are you and your family taking in ample amounts of O2? Chances are your nostrils are getting their fill of allergens, bacteria, and fungi… oh my. It’s time to come clean by thinking green. Green plants that is. g
Spider Plants: Place in bright but indirect light, away from windows and water freely.
Golden Pothos: Water regularly but less during cold weather, and pinching the new buds gives you a full, lush plant.
Philodendrons: Are among the best for removing formaldehyde (a colorless, pungent gas) from the air.
Gerbera Daisies and Chrysanthemums (Mums): Effective in removing benzene, a known carcinogen, prefers sunshine with well-drained soil. Palms, Ferns, Ivy’s and Rubber Plants are all additional air purifiers.
Servings: 4 Prep Time: 15 minutes
Nature provides an offering of fresh air daily and you can have these same healthy aspects of the outdoors right inside your home. All you have to do is invite nature in. Every room in your home can benefit greatly by a living, breathing O2 giving plant. They reduce unhealthy pollutants as well as airborne bacteria and fungi while adding the humidity needed to combat respiratory and allergic conditions. Plants can purify and renew our stale indoor air by filtering out toxins, pollutants, and the carbon dioxide we exhale thus, replacing them with life sustaining oxygen. One houseplant per 100 square feet of living area is suggested for the most effective results. I suggest getting a friendly shade of green for the bathroom, especially if you have teenagers in the home. The more vigorous (fast growing) the plant, the more air it can filter. Pollutants are absorbed through the leaves, so keep shiny, broad leaves clear of dust by wiping gently with a damp cloth. For the best performance, space the plants away from the walls where they can have good air circulation. Embracing good health is more than lifting weights, running, and a healthy diet. Taking the steps towards good health also includes being sensitive to our environment— what we look at, listen to, and surround ourselves with. Since God surrounds us with the beauty and benefits of nature, it just seems right to invite some of His healthy ideas indoors. Disclaimer: The information in this article is for educational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professonal medical advice. The reader shouild always consult his or her healthcare provider to determine the approprateness for their own situtation or if they have any questions regarding a medical condition or reatment plan. Reading this information does not create a patient-physician relationship.
10 | SUMMER 2012 | WWW.RENEWEDMAGAZINEONLINE.COM
• 1 ½ cups strawberries, hulled and quartered
• 1 cup diced fresh pineapple • 1 kiwi, peeled and diced • 1 tsp finely diced jalapeño (stemmed • • • • • •
and seeded) optional* 1/2 tsp finely grated lime zest 1/4 cup sugar-free strawberry preserves 1 tbsp fresh lime juice 3 cups fat-free frozen vanilla yogurt, divided 1 kiwi cup or diced 2 tbsp toasted sliced, almonds, divided
DIRECTIONS For the salsa: In a large bowl, combine strawberries, pineapple, kiwi, jalapeño and lime zest. Set aside. Then, using a small microwave-safe bowl, combine strawberry preserves and lime juice. Microwave on high for 20 to 30 seconds or until melted. Drizzle over fruit, mix, and toss to coat. Next, scoop 1/2 cup of yogurt into each dessert bowl. Top each with 1/2 cup of the salsa mix, sprinkle with 1 teaspoon of almonds, and finally, enjoy. You can also add the salsa to your favorite grilled salmon or spinach salad for a complete summer meal.
3 Tips to Achieve M O N E Y W I $ E a Balanced Life Having Financial Harmony in Your Relationship My wife loves to shop and visit some of her favorite stores from time to time. As her husband, it may sound strange to admit that I actually love when she shops. I’m happy when she is able to do something that is fun for herself. Many men are fearful of their wives taking a shopping trip because of the credit card bill that comes at the end of the month. Yet, I trust my wife to spend wisely and know that she will spend within our means. This trust comes from a few practical things we do to manage our finances together. We budget together every month. We look at how much money we have available and allocate our income into spending categories. We discuss spending. We make sure we both know how much money is left in our spending categories throughout the month and help each other not to overspend. We avoid impulsive spending decisions by asking each other’s opinion and by taking the time before making big purchases to make sure we really want or need them. Shopping trips to the mall don’t have to result in financial anxiety. More financial harmony in your marriage can help grow your relationship.
Jason Price blogs about personal finance from a Christian stewardship perspective at www.onemoneydesign.com
& work | v. ivana foster
When your life seems out of control and you’ve got endless demands tugging at you from all directions, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, fatigued and just plain stressed. Believe it or not, balancing your life does not require massive changes. You don’t have to quit your job, abandon your family, or escape to a remote retreat in order to feel peaceful and happy. In fact, true balance is something that starts within you first—no matter what else is happening in your outer life circumstances. Below you’ll find three simple ways to begin building a greater sense of inner peace and harmony. #1 QUIET TIME. One of the first things we tend to sacrifice when we’re busy is our personal time. Instead, we devote all of our energy and attention to caring for others, multi-tasking, meeting responsibilities and “being productive”. Over time, this depletes our energy and we begin to feel more and more burdened by our responsibilities.
To live a more balanced life, quiet time to yourself is crucial. You may find yourself feeling happier and more energetic, your focus improves, and you still get plenty of things done. Just a few minutes spent sitting quietly in meditation or reading a book can do wonders in transforming stress into peace and happiness. 2) SELF-CARE. Beyond making time for things you enjoy, there are other ways to nurture and love yourself on a daily basis. Getting a full 8 hours of sleep (or as much as you personally need) is a great start, as well as eating nutritious food, exercising daily and speaking kindly to yourself. Have you ever noticed that when you’re really tired or stressed, even the smallest problem can seem like a nightmare? On the other hand, when you’re feeling well rested and centered, you’re much better able to handle upsets.
Caring for yourself is one sure way to consistently replenish your energy, inner peace and joy, which means you’ll have the strength to handle whatever comes your way.
3) FLEXIBILITY. Did you know that the biggest causes of stress are rigid expectations? We all do it from time to time. We get a mental picture of how our lives “should be” and get really annoyed when our outer circumstances do not cooperate.
One of the biggest gifts you can give yourself is a flexible state of mind. In other words, learn how to detach from unrealistic expectations and go with the flow. When you have a flexible mindset, you’re able to deal with crises and problems more easily because you’re not working against a preconceived notion of how things “should be”. You’re able to tap into your creative problem-solving skills and move through challenges without all the drama and frustration. Be like the tree that bends with the breeze and you’re much less likely to break. These inner changes can make a dramatic difference in your state of well being, but you may also want to examine your outer life circumstances and see if there are other small changes you can make to help support your inner work. Be willing to let go of activities that no longer complement the lifestyle you desire, and you’ll create a space for greater fulfillment, joy, and peace. As always, Love YOUR LIFE! | Achieve YOUR GOALS! | Live YOUR DREAMS... on THIS DAY! ™ www.IvanaTheConfidenceArchitect.com
Atlanta’s #1 Premier Confidence & Prosperity Lifestyle Coach, V. Ivana Foster, M.Ed, CLC, aka The Confidence Architect™, specializes in Subconscious Restructuring® and Confidence Coaching. SUMMER 2012 | 11
around the world
Extreme Makeover: Photo credit: All God’s Children International
When Extreme Makeover: Home Edition knocked on the Watson family’s door in Knoxville, TN, last year, one of the show’s producers was half-way around the world with All God’s Children International (AGCI). Traveling with AGCI’s orphan care mission team, he discovered what life is like in the birth country of Silas, the Watson’s two-year old son who was adopted through AGCI, and joined the team in their work to improve local school facilities.
Photo credit: Provided by leadmeinternation.org
“We are honored that the first international trip to Africa by an Extreme Makeover: Home Edition producer has been with our orphan care team,” said Frank Betzer, Orphan Care and Development Director for AGCI. “One of our projects at the Hedase Elementary School in Ethiopia is to improve the facilities where 1,300 children are currently sharing one pit toilet.” The 17 person team addressed the school’s needs by building a new soccer field, basketball court and volleyball court. The team also began construction of eight new latrines and a library building. These projects will be completed by local contractors in the next few weeks with materials provided by AGCI donors. The team also spent time visiting with the children at AGCI’s Hannah’s Hope transition home, where Silas was cared for prior to the completion of his adoption by the Watson family. www.AllGodsChildren.org
9-Year-Old to Raise 60K
to Start a Children’s Village in Uganda
Nine-year-old Natasha Leininger is working again with Uganda Tree of Life Ministries (UTOL). Last year, she raised $25,000 to build a school in Uganda by hosting a Read-a-thon and speaking engagements. This year she has set her goal to raise $60,000 to start a children’s village for orphans. Knowing that there are 2.7 million orphans in Uganda, Natasha commented to her school after she returned from Africa, “It isn’t about reaching the multitudes, it is about reaching the individual God has placed in our path.” Over the summer, Natasha and her seven-year-old sister, Kendall, spoke at a national school convention to make the Read-a-thon a national event this year. Natasha and Kendall want to get the word out to 12 | SUMMER 2012 | WWW.RENEWEDMAGAZINEONLINE.COM
24 Hour Global Gospel
Radio reaches millions worldwide
The Praise House.Com, is a 24-hour Global Gospel Internet Radio Station, located in Ellenwood, GeorPhoto credit: gia. We are a PraiseHouse.com media outreach ministry with a global mission to glorify God, reach out to lost souls, and to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ all over the world. Daily we have listeners log onto our website to hear life-changing messages of unending hope, inspiration, and unconditional love found in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. You can listen to the Praise House.Com on our I-Phone or Android Mobile Apps as well as on our live mobile number 1-704-772-7627 then put in the Station I.D. 10066. Also, we offer unique marketing services that will assist ministries and businesses in broadcasting or advertising their message to a Global Community. These Unique Marketing Services include the following: • • • • • • • •
Radio Broadcasting Commercial Advertising Voiceovers Web Conferencing Social Media Marketing Audio & Video Streaming Email Marketing Web Designing
After visiting our website, if you have any questions or concerns, you can contact us at 877-418-8503 or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
American children that they can make a difference in this world. It can be with a neighbor, friend, elderly person at a nursing home, community group or orphan care. The list is endless. UTOL has been in existence since 1998 and working alongside the people of Uganda in education, health care, churches, men and women’s ministries, self-sustaining projects, child sponsorship program and much more. For requesting Natasha and Kendall to come and speak or wanting to host a Read-a-thon please contact Richelle Mazur at RMazur@LeadMeInternational.org or 210-325-5037.
Stopping Sex Slavery
Photo credit: Colette Bercu
on the Tibet Border
Free for Life International, a non-profit organization in partnership with Peace Rehabilitation Center (P.R.C.) of Kathmandu, Nepal is pleased to announce the opening of the very first human trafficking border monitoring station on the Tibet border. This station is designed to prevent the buying and selling of young Nepali girls into Tibet. Traffickers continue to lure young women through false promises of a better life, but instead of prosperity what awaits them is a life of sexual slavery. Each year an estimated 1,000 young Nepali women are trafficked out of the country. In the past 15 months at this station, 117 girls have been rescued from a life of sex slavery, and 9 traffickers have been brought to justice. Anti-trafficking experts report an alarming increase in sex trafficking into the border town of Zhangmu, Tibet which is popular with tourists.
Jesus Well Ends Thirsty Walk Home
Keeping God in Your Space
Photo Credit: god-space.com
Free for Life believes that this groundbreaking border station, located at this crossing, has the potential to prevent and/or rescue hundreds of young girls from a life of slavery.
Taking the “WWW” by storm with its proclamation of Christ, GodSpace is sure to overtake the social network market.
God-Space.com is the premiere social network designed with Christians in mind. Our mission is to reinforce the presence of God throughout the worldwide web by helping people to “Keep God in their Space”. This mission is carried out by providing tools and features such as online prayer circles, international fellowship, daily inspirations, business networking opportunities, artist/ministry spotlights, event promotion and advertising. Overall, God-Space.com allows Christians to make their presence known to the world without having to compromise their beliefs. Fatima Adams, owner and creator of God-Space.com, has created a platform that will change the way world religions communicate and share their views and provide an outlet for a community to express their passion with others who have the same passion for God in a free atmosphere. It is through this global platform of technology that God-Space will reconnect the world back to God. For more information about God-Space.com, advertising/sponsorship opportunities or to find out when they will be in an area near you, contact a God-Space team member at email@example.com.
Water scarcity currently affects four out of every 10 people in the world, and it’s expected to escalate in the coming years. World Water Day was held back in March to serve as a reminder of how tremendous the need is for clean water, Gospel for Asia is helping out by drilling Jesus Wells in areas with no source of fresh water. Shriya is one of those who were helped through the installation of a Jesus Well. The people in the village where 60-year-old Shriya lives struggled because of the water scarPhoto Credit: Gospel for Asia city in the area. While the rich in the community had private wells drilled near their homes, the poor and needy had to walk long distances to collect water from brooks or small rivers tucked away in the jungle. But Shriya couldn’t go. She found it difficult to haul buckets of water from far off streams to her house, and being a childless widow, she had no one to help her. When Gospel for Asia drilled a Jesus Well near her home, Shriya rejoiced knowing all her water needs would be taken care of. “When the church constructed a Jesus Well near my house, I was so happy and was comforted,” she said. “I thank Gospel for Asia for providing us this Jesus Well free of cost. It seems like this well was installed just for me.”No one is barred access to clean water from a Jesus Well. Whether high or low caste, rich or poor, the well is open to the entire community—and even passersby, like Lanal, who discovered a Jesus Well during a thirsty walk home. Lanal had just finished a hard day of work selling his handmade bamboo baskets in the market when he became extremely thirsty. Fortunately for him, he stumbled upon a Jesus Well on his way home and went to get a drink. For more information on how Jesus Wells offer communities clean water, along with Living Water for those who desire it, visit www.gfa.org/cleanwater.
thought for the season
Photo Credit: Jackie Hicks
Online Community Breaking Barriers Preaching Woman (com)™ is an online community that helps bridge the gap between what is offered online for Christian women, and what is available for mainstream secular audiences. Launched in 2007, it has become the essential online ministry for women. “There are so many incredible women, especially those in their thirties and forties, who are doing great things in ministry,” says founder Nichelle Early. “We provide them with a voice and an outlet that they can look to for inspiration and high-impact ministry resources.” Designed specifically for, but not limited to, women in ministry, PreachingWoman.com™ is an outreach for women in ministry or those aspiring to be in ministry. The ministry highlights, encourages, and promotes women in ministry through an online platform offering training, development, and other desirable resources. The site hosts a world-class speaker’s bureau advertising the profiles of women in ministry from across the nation. “By spotlighting progressive, successful, preaching women on the cutting edge of ministry, PreachingWoman.com™ is helping to foster a solid network of preaching women with a common, spiritual goal,” says Early. PreachingWoman.com™ is an online community where women around the world come together to accept, share, and offer one another Godly wisdom. The site provides innumerable resources for women in ministry including a message board, inspirational articles, sermon helps, wisdom concerning proper ministry etiquette, health and beauty tips, an online store, and a specialized membership area with additional resources. “We exist to support those who believe they have been called, and have answered their own personal call to do so...whether she is inside the pulpit or not,” says Early. “Our mandate is to encourage women in ministry to experience a well-balanced life while intricately celebrating her holy essence, bountiful beauty, and uncanny ability to touch the heart strings of God and His people.” To learn more go to www.PreachingWoman.com.
Want the Spotlight? Email your ministry profile to firstname.lastname@example.org 16 | SUMMER 2012 | WWW.RENEWEDMAGAZINEONLINE.COM
Sowing & Reaping Part 1
“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap” Gal. 6:7 (NKJV). We all want to think of the good things that come with sowing into ministries, organizations, churches and even the lives of others. We are led to believe when we give, we will in return receive a blessing from God or from someone else who will choose to be a blessing to us. And while all of these efforts can bring a good harvest into our lives, what about when we sow something that’s not so good such as a bad decision? Yes, even the decisions we choose to make bring about a harvest of effects that not only concerns us, but those whom God has connected to us. Think about it. If you make a decision (sow) not to get up for work today, most likely you will not get paid. Your hours may be cut short which will affect the level (reap) of your next pay check. If you make a decision (sow) to eat unhealthy, gorging cookies, cakes and the like, most likely your body will begin to feel the negative (reap) impact of your unhealthy dining choices. God in all of His infinite wisdom has given human beings a right that separates us from all of His other creations and this is the right to choose. We all have to make choices every single day. However, the key is to remember your decisions determine the kind of harvest you’re going to reap, good or bad. So, what decisions will you make this season?
ReFresh YOURSELF In God YOURSELF
Written By Janine Folks-Edwards
e all like things that are new. Whether it is a new ink pen, new sheets on the bed, new shoes, new home, new mobile phone or even that new car smell, the sensation of “new” brings out a certain feeling of confidence and excitement. It puts a smile on our face and joy in our heart. Something new uplifts our attitude and enthusiasm. It creates such an overwhelming feeling of being refreshed, renewed, and revived, and it is with such joy that we can be encouraged that God is always interested in doing something new in us and through us. As a matter of fact, it brings the Almighty great pleasure to provide us with new mercies and grace each and every day. His Word declares, “His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness” (Lam. 3:22-24). Every season, particularly during the warmer months, I give my living space a new look. Since I cannot buy new furniture every year, I simply rearrange things to give it a fresh new look. I reinvent my space by reorganizing —discarding the old and unnecessary— and perhaps bringing in some new elements. This opportunity grants the same “awe” without leaving a hole in my pocketbook. However, during the process, I find dust and items that have been overlooked during regular cleaning. There are hidden places that are exposed and dirt that may have never been seen. And by the end of the process, not only is the look and feeling rejuvenating, there is also a new cleanliness and new energy. We can perhaps take this same concept and apply it to our daily living, both natural and spiritual. The Bible teaches us that we are “new” creatures in Christ (2 Cor. 5.17). Our Heavenly Father is so wise and creative that He imparted this same creativity and passion in us to develop innovative ways of doing many new things. Think about it for one moment. Have you ever thought about starting a business or inventing something new? Have you ever contemplated writing a book or launching an entirely new career? Most of us have had an inkling to step outside of the box and explore new frontiers. We are able to look at ideas and imagine ways to better or advance even the simplest thing. We dream of completing goals and envision our concepts becoming reality. And, it is with this same innate feeling that God has given us to reinvent, re-emerge and renew ourselves to live life abundantly and to be all that He has called us to be.
“Then He who sat on the throne said, Behold, I make all things new” (Rev. 21:5)
FRESH PERSPECTIVE “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Roms. 12:2). A new pair of eye glasses are usually accompanied by a special cloth or cleaning wipes. This is provided so the lenses can be cleaned on a regular basis. After wearing your eye glasses for a while, they can become a tad bit dirty. No matter how careful you are, residue relentlessly collects on the lenses causing vision to become obscure. Therefore, these lenses must be cleaned so that optimum clarity of vision can be maintained.
RENEWED STRENGTH “Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might” (Eph. 6:10). Bodybuilders understand that they must lift weights regularly in order to maintain their stature and give their best performance. An absence from the gym can result in a set back and loss of muscle mass. Therefore, to most, bodybuilding is not just a one-time event, but a lifestyle.
Just as well, there are times when our spiritual, emotional, and mental lenses become fuzzy. Circumstances and trials can obscure our vision and we may be in need of a fresh perspective. Having a fresh and new perspective can allow both you and I to see things in a different way and clearly. The situation may not change right away, but God can give us a new way to look at it. He can shift our paradigm with a new revelation. It can become a little easier dealing with people on the job and even at home when we see others how God sees them.
Just like a person’s physical strength that is maintained by eating well and exercising and emotional strength that is preserved by engaging in new experiences, our spiritual health should be maintained too. There must be a diligent and proper lifestyle that is adhered to, to help strengthen our spiritual man [woman]. A lifestyle of regularly exercising our faith renews our spiritual strength. It is not by mere coincidence that God allows our faith and patience to be tested. It is through the working of our faith that we gain a greater trust and assurance in our walk with God. We become stronger after each test and wiser than the first. And in the end, it all works together for our good.
So how can we acquire this “new” and fresh perspective? It is obtained by meditating on God’s Word, spending time in prayer, and honoring the Lord through praise and worship.
So, how do we obtain this “new” and renewed strength? Again, it is achieved by meditating on God’s Word, spending time in prayer, and honoring the Lord through praise and worship.
Ideas for a Fresh Perspective
NEW LOOK “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven” ( Matt. 5:16). Professional marketers understand that you do not have to necessarily change the content of a product to reignite interest and increase sales. A repackaged product with an updated appearance can make the product seem just as new. It’s just the same as when we update our appearance regularly with new clothes and new hairstyles. We keep up with the latest appearances so we don’t look obviously in-between too many generations. As the old saying goes, “the same ole’ same ole’ tends to keep getting old.” Therefore, when things look outdated, it loses its appeal. Although it is not necessary to change the message of the Gospel to be a good witness, it is important that we keep God’s Word fresh and applicable to the here and now. We have to present the Gospel of Christ in ways that are relevant to the issues and present needs of God’s people. We have to show people how the same God who created heaven and earth still cares and wants to provide for our hopes and dreams today. Without compromising who God is, present Him in fresh ways that bring newness to all. Allow God to be visible through you as a beacon to others. When people hear and see you, do they hear and see God? Be the best representation that heaven employs. So, how do we attain this “new” and fresh look? Meditate on God’s Word, spend time in prayer and honor the Lord through praise and worship.
Ideas for a Renewed Strength
Pray for others rather than praying about them.
Praise God continually through every circumstance.
Seek God’s Word for understanding in all that you do.
Stand on every promise found in the Word of God.
Bless the Lord at all times regardless of how things look presently.
Believe that what God has promised, He’s able to bring it to pass.
Ideas for a New Look c
Meditate on God’s Word day and night.
Find innovative ways to share the Gospel with everyone you meet.
Live a life that is pleasing unto to the Most High God.
PHOTO: JACKIE HICKS, FOND MEMORIES PHOTOGRAPHY
“Begin somewhere; you cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do.” — Liz Smith
Dr. Bonnie Hunter is the Senior Pastor and Founder of the Friendship Church Outreach Ministry. She is a wife, mother, grandmother, recording artist, and pastor of pastors. She also operates a non-profit business, “No One feeble One”, reaching out into the community to help the less fortunate, and those in immediate need to get back on their feet. www.friendshipchurchoutreachministry.com
ow does the influence of women continue to shape and impact the church and community at large? Bonnie Hunter: I believe God has torn down the middle wall of it just being men. There is no more separaseparation of men and women. God has called both the male and female and has called us to be one so we can get the job done. There is a lot of work to be done and the enemy has set a trap to cause the work of God to be diminished. We’re fighting over what role males and females play, while the enemy is destroying our homes, churches, and the community. But I believe the barrier has been torn down. God said in these last days He would pour out His Sprit upon all flesh. We, as women, are included. Women are prophesying, proclaimproclaiming, and declaring the Gospel like never before and churches are growgrowing. Lives are changing. Children are being set free from the power of darkness, walking in their destiny, and being successful in their schools. The community-at-large is changchanging because of what God is doing. Women are nurturers, and we have such compassion that we can’t help but go into the community and take back what was stolen. It’s that purpurpose that drives us even more.
The sensitivity that we have shapes and impacts the community as well as the church. I just believe we are using our influence that God has giving us to make a difference. Additionally, we’re also helping to bring the men into their rightful place in the Kingdom of God because we are using our influence as God ordained from the beginning. I truly believe this and I’ve seen it when God puts His Spirit into the woman and she uses her influence in a Godly way. It’s a Deborah’s anointing that’s upon us that pushes men and causes them to want to step into their rightful place. We need to continue to remind ourselves that we are women of God. Sometimes, if we are not careful, we will try to emulate men. I was in a ministry for twenty years and I had a male pastor. God had to show me how to carry myself as a woman because there are times when you will find yourself acting like who you are under. Don’t try to act like a man or take his place. Do what God has called you to do and be who He has called you to be—a woman. So, we have to remember we are women and not lose our femininity. God will do exploits in and through our lives. I do not make any excuses. Yes, I am a woman, and PHOTO DIVINE DIAMONDS MINISTRIES I am called of God.
hat is the significance of having ministries, programs, organizations, and businesses that cater specifically to women?
Lougenia J. Rucker: I believe there is a special anointanointing on the creation of women. From both a spiritual and biological perspective we, as women, are fearfully and wonderfully made without any blemishes. We have always had a very special role in both serving mankind as well as in the Kingdom of God from the very beginning of time. The nature of a woman consists of several wonderful things including friendship, career, marriage, mothermotherhood, ministry, and most of all, being royal daughters of the King. We are created differently, but equal to serve as companions and helpers. Therefore, we are spiritually designed with unique characteristics and traits as well as equipped with internal and human capacities that qualify both the call and the assignment. The ministry of women is a divine opportunity to encourage, edify, establish, equip, and empower Christian women of all ages to understand, embrace and fulfill their divine destiny with a sense of well-being, purpose, joy and contentment. In modern times, there is an absolute necesnecessity to have Christian ministries and organizations for women to off-set the negative images, decline in morality, and stereotypes often portray by the media and supported by popular culture. There is a need to impart, mentor, train as well as meet the demands of modern day Christian living and family challenges. We are called to train; theretherefore, there has to be special training. In January 2009, the Lord specifically instructed me to start an online ministry for women called, “Divine Diamonds Ministries”. The purpose of
LOUGENIA RUCKER Lougenia J. Rucker is a woman of grace, ordained as a Prophetess and called to unlock the brilliance within women to empower & equip them to live on purpose. Through her, God has birth Divine Diamonds Ministries which is an online, internet-based ministry for women. Additionally, she offers e-Training Programs and Mentoring & Ministry Program to empower women to grow, matured and catapult to the next level. www.divinediamondsministries.ning.com
PHOTO: IVAN WATKINS
this Christian prophetic ministry is to minister to the total woman holistically in areas of personal and spiritual growth & developdevelopment, prayer ministries, ministry and leadership development as well marketplace ministry. We endeavor to accomplish this great vision through teleconference calls, conferences, e-mentoring and ministry programs, the School of the Prophetic Ministry, youth ministry, health and wellness, business opportunities, marketing and promotional services, virtual and live events. As such, women now have more opportunities than ever before. We are taking care of business, making more money outside of the home, and the
Vanda Wilson-Wormack: As women, we live very different lifestyles. Some women stay at home and some do the nine to five. But, believe we VANDA WILSON-WORMACK Imust identify with what our ePastorsNetwork Founder and CEO, present state is Vanda Wilson-Wormack is truly an and what our online innovator for the Kingdom of God. life and schedschedWith a website that will soon celebrate ule consists of. its one millionth visitor, to “Kingdom We have to Partners” including Bobby Jones carve out Gospel, The Punch Television Network, the time for Whitaker House Publishing, Joyce Meyer intimacy with Ministries, to name a few, it is evident God even if this that the favor of God is upon this young means getting visionary. www.epastorsnetwork.com up early before the children or the husband. This is the commitment we have can women to make unto the Lord and it is very vital.
ow discover the necessary intimacy with God from the pulpit to the kitchen?
Certainly, there was a time in my life when I made this commitment. I had several things going on at the time, and I had to get up at 4:30 a.m. every morning. But as women, we have to carve out the time that works best for us without any interruptions. This means
PHOTO: STUDIO ONE TO ONE
class ceilings are being broken everyday with new records being set. But the one thing that is still missing at large is the “mentoring link” or the skilled ones showing the younger ones the way to go. I am reminded of Naomi mentoring Ruth and just how special their relationship was. God has released the voice of the woman in every area of life including the home, community, church, marketplace and government to make a difference for their generation. A war cry has been released within women to pray, wail, and intercede in order to set those who are bound in darkness free to live in the light of the power of His divine love.
Rev. Jesten Peters is the President and Founder of Keys of Authority Ministries, Inc. She travels and shares the Gospel of Jesus Christ anywhere the doors are open to her, and has recently written a book called “Running to Win the Race.” She has orchestrated several communitywide prayer rallies, breaking down the walls of denomination and race and serves as the State of Florida Coordinator for CRY OUT AMERICA! www.keysofauthorityministries.org
ow can women balance life’s priorities without becoming overwhelmed?
Jesten Peters: I believe we, as women, must prioritize our lives in order to stay balanced. The first priority I believe is your relationship with God. It’s all about your relationship with Him. If He is not number one, it doesn’t matter what else is next because nothing will be right if we do not place God first. The second priority is your
no television, cell phone, or other distracdistractions. This becomes your very special time with the Lord. When you make this commitcommitment to spend time with Him, He’ll meet you right there. Also, as women we need to understand we have been empowered by God. God made us specifically unique. One of the things I often ponder on is how God designed the woman from the rib of a man. He took the rib, designed the woman, and then presented her to the man. That in itself is what makes us very special. This is not to say we are more special than men, but God created us specifispecifically unique and special for His purpose. As women we embody certain characteristics of God such as multitasking and being nurturnurturing that are given to us to assist our spouse, children, and others in our lives. We were built this way, and even for those women who may have been brought up in a deconstrucdeconstructive environment, you have to know you were constructed by a mighty and powerful God. You are empowered with all of the gifts and abilities He has given you to accomplish that which He has purposed in you.
family. I believe God instituted the family before the church. If you are married, your priority is your husband, then your children. If you’re a single parent, your priority is your children. Having and taking care of our family is important. Next, the state of your health is important. Spend a little time on yourself everyday by exercisexercising, taking a walk, and eating healthy. If you can, treat yourself to a manicure or pedicure. Do something nice for yourself. If you are not healthy, getting an adequate amount of sleep, or feel good about yourself, you are not going to be very effective doing anything for someone else. This thought reminds me of a flight attendant disdiscussing an airplane’s safety features. They instruct you to put your own mask on first before helping someone else. How can you help anyone, if you are unconscious or dead? The fact is you can’t. Then, the church and the work God has for each and every one of us to fulfill follows afterwards. I truly believe the reason why we get burned out is by not havhaving our priorities in order. People will ask us to do something and immediately we say yes. We do not stop and ask God or assess our other commitments. We say yes way too often when we should say no. Sometimes young parents have their children enrolled in every sport in the book, dance lessons, or cheer leading. This has the person running from one place to the next all because they want to give their child something they never had. They take very little time to sit down and have family devotions, reading the Bible, and pray. Those sports and activities are things that are temporal and will fade away, but the time we spend with our children and loved ones reading the Bible and in prayer is what will shape us for eternity.
Lucy Reyes: What I have been teaching women is to be consistent and to have faith. You have to have passion with what you do. You must
PHOTO: MARIA SILVA
Apostle Lucy Reyes is a woman without limits who constantly fights for the rights of the most vulnerable. She works tirelessly for the Gospel throughout the world bringing the message of salvation, restoration and praise and worship to others. Facebook.com/lucyreyesministries
ow do you encourage women who feel uneasy being who God has called them to be?
continue doing what you have been called to do. Show other people that things can be done through the hands of a womwoman. I see the changes women are making. It’s vital. It’s absolutely necessary. I have
I also believe when you been able to travel to eighteen feel like you’re losing that paspasdifferent nations and seen sion, you have to keep trying. women who have their hands You cannot stop. You have to tied and have been taught to keep going. I’ve been married think they cannot do anyanythirty years and when I feel thing. But even through my myself losing passion, I start own testimony, I have been dancing around. I look for teaching other women that something new. You have to there are a lot of things we as do things differently somesomewomen can do. We just need times. I encourage you to keep the right opportunity and we praying and to keep looking need to be ready when God for the way. Forget about the opens that door. We need to past. Start something new. I be prepared and do our very best so people can start believbeliev- know God can do something through you. ing. If you come immature and are not prepared, people will not expect anything from “Everyone has talent. you. I tell other women you have to be prepared so when What is rare is the God gives you that moment courage to follow that and He opens the door, you talent to the place where will be ready to shine.
it leads.” —Erica Jong
“Forget about the fast lane. If you really want to fly, just harness your power to your passion.” —Oprah
PHOTO: GLAMOUR SHOTS STUDIOS
“I want to be all that I am capable of becoming.” —Katherine Mansfield
I am on the inside does not reflect what’s on the outside, dismissal, dismantling, and disconnection can occur. I will dismiss my true self, dismantle my purpose, and become disconnected from God. The truth is we as women have to embrace all of who we are so we can feel complete and be free enough to be ourselves. That “good A’SHELLARIEN ANTHONY thing” we were created to be, should be in the forefront of our hearts and our minds so that we can stand against the subtle Rev. Dr. A’Shellarien Anthony is a woman attack fighting who we truly are. after God’s heart. She has been called to this place at this time as one who As women, we must go back to the basics of celebrating the is illuminating God’s Word, empowering amazing creation that we are. Our ability to love unconditionalunconditionalGod’s people, and edifying God’s Kingdom. ly and multitask puts us in a divinely unique position. We have She helps to empower women spiritually, the power of God on the inside of us to prioritize our lives in professionally, and financially. God’s will for such a way that we can hide God’s Word in our heart, meditate her life is to provide “Destiny Intersections” on that Word day and night, and do the work of ministry all at for other women to create wealth for the same time. It is easy for us to lose ourselves in the various themselves. www.desakajo.com “hats” that we wear—mother, wife, sister, boss, pastor, menmentor, etc. The truth is we have to “steal away” to keep our faith grounded, our hearts pure, and our minds stayed on God.
ome women find it hard to be themselves without wanting to emulate someone else? How can she lead real while being herself?
A'Shellarien Anthony: One of the biggest lies I believe we, as women, have been told is that we are not good enough. Maybe we are not pretty enough, smart enough, or rich enough. Yet, the easiest way for the adversary to control us is to attack our identity. From this, some women have the innate ability to cover and hide what is on the inside with a mask of wholeness on the outside. We appear to others as if we have it all together. But I believe when you refuse to accept the lie of false identification, there is no need for you to disdisconnect internally in order for you to connect externally. When who
The best way to keep balance is to “shake” your life so that the dead things will fall off. As the dead things fall off, you will be able to really see those things that have distracted and hindered you. As we continue to grow in God and in His grace, we will begin to prioritize because we understand that we must be found doing the work when the Bridegroom comes.
Book Title: Does Love Cover....THAT? Author: Rev. Dr. A’Shellarien Anthony Cost: $15 Website: www.desakajo.com Decsription: Love created us, love invites us to love, and our misconceptions about love confuses us. Let this book help you walk in your love anointing.
“He said that I would be like Sarah who had many spiritual sons and daughters but no natural children. Yet, just like Sarah there is a promise of an Isaac. ”
Certainly nothing can prepare a person for this type of trial or tribulation. Yet, one of the things I love most about
“It is true that what the devil means for evil, God is able to turn it all around for my good.” God is that before He takes you through a storm, He will send you a word and a promise to hold on to. After my first miscarriage, God sent
Photo Credit: Karen Deadwyler
It is only a miracle that I am alive today to share my testimony. I have had five miscarriages during the 24 years that I have been married to my husband, and the last miscarriage nearly killed me. In a sense, I literally bled to death but, it was God who kept me.
AFTER 5 MISCARRIAGES, I STILL BELIEVE
me a prophetic word. It was a promise that would help me live through my storm. He said that I would be like Sarah who had many spiritual sons and daughters but no natural children. Yet, just like Sarah there is a promise of an Isaac. After going through such a traumatic experience it took me to a new dimension in Dr. Karen Deadwyler empowers and inspires God and another level people through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. in my faith that I do not believe I would have accomplished without this My husband and I are approaching near death experience. th the 25 year of our marriage, and I am Through this I have learned to be patient still convinced God is a keeper of His and to not complain about my situation. Word. Now, I live my life for Him and for It is true that what the devil means for His glory. evil, God is able to turn it all around for my good.
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A striking reality into the mindset of victims of domestic violence
Written By Terri Brown, MA, LPC-I
he issues of domestic abuse and violence reach far beyond the deep scars and imbedded wounds that are inflicted onto a woman by her intimate partner. These issues encompass almost every aspect of an abused woman’s life—robbing her of her dignity, self-esteem, self-respect, and freedom to live. Yet, as she walks through life trying to hide the guilt, the shame, and the feelings of being unworthy to love, she must also contend with the judgment and ridicule of family, friends, and at times, even her own children, who cannot quite comprehend why she chooses to stay in a relationship amidst such violent circumstances. They ask themselves “why doesn’t she just leave?” A loved one standing outside of the victim’s abusive relationship cannot conceptualize why a woman may feel that leaving her abuser is not an option. They perhaps are led to believe the victim’s stay is entirely desired and perpetual. However, amongst the many reasons noted in literature as to why an abused woman chooses to remain with her offender, below are only a few. WHY SHE DOESN’T LEAVE:
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She does not recognize she is being abused. She fears the threat of harm being inflicted onto her or her children. She lacks financial support. She lacks the support of family, friends, or others outside of the relationship. She receives reinforcement during the honeymoon stage by identifying with the “good” attributes of her partner. She succumbs to “Learned Helplessness”. She feels hopeless. She takes on the “Care-Taker” role, feeling that she can “fix her man”. She accepts responsibility for the abuse, believing she has done something to warrant it. She believes her abuser will change.
Abuse is not limited to sexual and physical means, but it can also include verbal, emotional, and psychological. According to some research, many women report that the lasting effects of emotional and psychological abuse are far more devastating than those of physical abuse. And while it is important to note that abuse is abuse regardless of its intensity or frequency, a number of women still remain in an abusive relationship largely because they do not recognize they are actually being abused. This is especially true amongst teenage girls who often mistake a guy’s jealously and controlling behavior for care, concern, and love. In such a case, by the time they actually start to realize they are being abused, they have already been stripped of their self-esteem, dignity, family support systems, and the will or strength to move on. Teenage and adolescent girls should understand love does not hurt—real love that is. This is evident in the love that God shows towards us. Parents, counselors, educators, pastors, and community members all share in the responsibility of abuse awareness. Young girls and adolescent females must be made aware of the warning signs that indicate an abusive relationship. 7 WARNING SIGNS YOU’RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.
Your partner becomes jealous of your friends, family, or co-workers. Your partner checks-up on you by calling, driving by or getting someone else to do so. Your partner often blames you for his problems and/or bad mood. Your partner often belittles you and/ or calls you names. Your partner accuses you of cheating or being interested in someone else. Your partner becomes overly concerned with the clothes you wear or how you style your hair. Your partner uses scare tactics to intimidate you (i.e. driving dangerously or hitting walls).
The harsh and devastating effect that abuse has on many individuals distorts their reality in such a way that they no longer view the world as they should. As a matter of fact, they find it extremely difficult to determine what is real. Such gruesome acts of abuse and violence that many women experience makes it very difficult for them to decipher between the essence of true love and the pain that is being inflicted upon them without seeking the help and support from professionals they really need. If you or someone you know may be struggling with leaving an abusive relationship, just know you are not alone. There is help waiting for you. WHAT EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW: If you are living in an abusive relationship, know that you are not the problem. Despite your imperfections (and we all have imperfections); there is nothing you can do to justify the behavior of an abusive intimate partner. Get help today and work with a certified abuse therapist or counselor to help take your life back and rebuild. Your life is worth you fighting for.
Nearly 1/3 of American women report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives.
The layers of domestic abuse and violence are complex. Its perpetrator has no boundaries as it crosses the lines of race, religion, and socioeconomic status. According to the Commonwealth Fund Survey “nearly 1/3 of American women report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives.” Additionally, “domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the U.S 1.” These statistics equate to meaning that 1 in 3 women has been a victim of domestic abuse and violence.
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673 National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline 1-866-331-9474
DOMESTIC ABUSE & VIOLENCE CAN STOP WITH YOU. Each day, 4 women die as a result of abuse. Each day, 3 children die as a result of abuse. According to the U.S. Surgeon General, domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the U.S. The American Medical Association estimates more than 2 million American women are assaulted each year. The U.S. Department of Justice estimates 95% of the victims of domestic violence are women. A woman is beaten every 15 seconds in the U.S. 35% of all emergency room calls are a result of domestic violence. Of those who abuse their partner, well over 65% also physically and/or sexually abuse the children. 32% of female homicide victims are killed by their intimate partner. Domestic violence occurs to all types of women regardless of income, age, race, education, or belief system. Forty percent of teenage girls age 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. 1 in 5 female high school students report being physically or sexually abused by a dating partner. Some statistics takes from the Bureau of Justice Statistics, Intimate Partner Violence, Massachusetts Youth Risk Behavior Survey, Children Now/Kaiser Permanente Poll, & Office for Victims of Crime. 1 http://www.domesticpeace.com
Terri Brown is a Licensed Professional Counselor practicing in Columbia, SC. She has been married for almost 15 years, a union which has been mightily blessed with 4 beautiful children. www.transitionmyworld.org
my brother’s keeper
| pastor kenneth paden
W ife =A Good
Thing and Favor from the Lord
WOMAN, GOD’S GIFT TO MAN Oftentimes when making reference to the creation narrative, I will say that the word “woman” came from Adam after he saw Eve. When Adam saw her for the very first time he said, “Wo!” “Man!” thus, giving us to the word woman. Okay, this is not the theological reason for the name; nevertheless, according to the Scripture [Gen. 2:23], she was called woman because she came out of man.
detailed leaving nothing for guess work. Even in conversation, they can remember the order in which things occur, often baffling the man. The “M” stands for maturity. Without question, women mature faster than men. Although I am one hundred percent man, not many men will admit this truth. Their sense of responsibility, their sense of accountability, and their overall perspective of life tends to develop much quicker than men.
I make this statement jokingly because it is so obvious for a man to The “A” stands appreciate the for ambition. physical features of Oftentimes when we a woman. However, “All too often, we overlook speak of ambition it all too often, we the inner characteristics of is limited to careers. overlook the inner woman, considering it worthy However, women characteristics of competition rather than tend to be more of woman, ambitious about life. appreciation.” considering They want more out it worthy of of life and they go competition rather after it. And more than appreciation. For the balance often than not, they get it. of this article I will use an acrostic to describe woman, God’s gift to man. The “N” stands for nurturer. Women by nature are nurturers. They The “W” stands for wisdom. are motherly even when they may not Women have an uncanny, intuitive be mothers. They are caring even when wisdom that is hard for men to those being cared for are not necessarily understand and sometimes accept. their own. They offer a perspective that men would never consider. In considering these innate characteristics, men should not feel The “O” stands for organization. threatened by women. On the contrary, Women tend to be very organized and we should appreciate them because they are God’s gift to us. When considering a woman’s outer beauty as well as her inner beauty, all I can say is, “Wo!” “Man!”
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I imagine the feelings of doubt and unbelief is in the hearts of some of the men reading the title of this article. Yet, I have come to the conclusion that it is always best to reflect upon my relationship through the reality of God’s Word. The Scriptures teach us “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord” Provs. 18:22. One of the best feelings in the world is to know you have “a good thing”, but the promise is to as many as will believe it. God call things that are not as though they are [Roms. 4:17c]. A man who does not believe his wife is a good thing is a man who has probably stopped reflecting upon what God has spoken and has begun to reflect on the situation too much. What we say and how we treat our spouse is a reflection of our faith in the truth of God’s Word. Therefore, in order for the title of this article to become a reality and for you to have joy in your marriage... g
choose to except God’s Word as truth in your relationship by keeping the “buts” out
treat your wife like she already makes you feel like you have the best wife in the world— “a good thing”
thank God for your wife and God’s plan to prosper you and her in the relationship, and think and pray for a solution wisdom) Remember, the enemy is always trying to find ways to devour you, but the Father is always ready to direct you. Receive God’s favor in your life and upon you and yours.
Bishop Dickie L. Adams is the Senior Pastor of Global Ministries International Inc. www.gmi1.org
sister to sister
Jewels for Queenly & Confident Living
As women, we are constantly on the go. With the hustle and bustle of life, it is so easy to become submerged in life’s existence rather than living life and enjoying it. Believe it or not, there is a difference. There is truly something grand about women who live rather than simply exist. I call this “Queenly Conscious” living. Check out dictionary.com’s definition of a Queen—“a woman or a thing personified as a woman considered to be the best or most important of her kind.” If you are challenged with embracing your royalty, I invite you to read, review, do, and repeat the 5 Jewels for Queenly and Confident Living. Make these steps a part of your life over the next month and live your best royal life now.
Give Thanks. At the beginning of every morning, give thanks for all things. Make an intentional list of things you are grateful for. Meditate and Pray. Starting our day off with prayer and meditation has a way of changing us. It sets the tone for the rest of the day and invites us to be guided by God rather than ourselves.
SINGLE LADIES BEWARE Being single and dating can be a challenge. Even when a man says he loves the Lord and shows up for church frequently, does not guarantee the safety of your heart.
While these signs should be obvious to the “single and searching”, they are prevalent and viewed by many as normal conduct, even in the church.
Ladies, remember you If you’re single and “You are worth the wait are a princess looking, searching or and worth the effort he’s and should be waiting for love, remember willing to help create treated like there are clues [i.e. red a wonderful start to a one. Chivalry flags] that can indicate is not dead. when a man may not be great relationship.” Show him you marriage material. If a man are interested pursuing you displays one and you care, or more of the following but never let him think that you are behaviors, you should carefully examine the purpose and direction of the desperate. Don’t be so hungry for relationship before continuing. compliments that you are flattered into foolishness. You are worth the wait and 10 FLAGS HE MAY NOT BE THE ONE worth the effort of his willingness to help create a wonderful start to a lasting IMMEDIATE SEXUAL INNUENDOS relationship. JUST WANTS TO COME OVER & NOT GO OUT
Muscle Work. Engage in physical activity at least 30 mins. a day. Get your groove back girl and move! Physical and mental exercises go hand in hand. Learn and use a new word each day. Read. The brain is a muscle and it functions properly when it’s in use.
WANTS YOU TO BE A “SECRET”
Give. Small things can matter in a big way such as smiles, hugs, and compliments. Show random acts of kindness and love wherever you go.
PESSIMISTIC OR CRITICAL
Me Time. You give to everyone so, why not give back to yourself. You work hard for the money so treat yourself.
ASKS FOR MONEY
Zakiya S. Kyles is the Founder of Queenly & Confident, an organization dedicated to helping women and girls “Discover the Royalty Within”. Visit her online at www.queenlyandconfident.org
| janine folks
REQUESTS OR SENDS PROVOCATIVE PHOTOS DOESN’T TALK ABOUT HIS OR YOUR DREAMS
SELF-ESTEEM, INSECURITY/ ANGER ISSUES
Always remember, you don’t have to compromise for companionship or economic relief. Assess to determine whether he has the potential to love you as Christ loves the church (Eph. 5.25). It takes more than attraction for a relationship to be successful. Date with purpose on purpose and always pay attention. It’s your love life too. “I charge you, O daughters… Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases” (Songs 3.5).
USES FOUL LANGUAGE AROUND YOU DOESN’T SERVE OR PROTECT YOU
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a lesson learned
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cliff vicars , d . min
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Who has been the most influential person in your life? Most of us have been asked this question, and we probably have a list of people who qualify to be mentioned. People like a High School coach might come to mind, a college professor, or some famous writer or actor. Nevertheless, there is no doubt of the influence these types of people have in our lives.
There was no indoor plumbing and newspapers were spread over her walls like wallpaper. She was obviously poor, but her poverty did not cause her to be bitter or to have a small view of God.
My memory of Grandma Lillie on one night so long ago is still vividly etched into my mind. When the sun had set, she took out her Bible, read to me, and then bowed her head and prayed. I have long If I was asked the question, “who forgotten what she read or prayed has been the most influential person for, but not that quiet moment with in my life,” I don’t have to think about me, her greatan answer. While grandson. It was there have been some years later great coaches to “We often measure influence that I finally serve as mentors, and greatness by the standards came to know and wonderful what she had teachers to guide set by the world. We may even done on that my path, the most doubt our own ability to make a night when the influential person difference and to lead our family two of us were was also someone members into a life of faith.” alone in her whose life touched humble house. mine only briefly. That event serves as my earliest My Greatrecollection of anything spiritual, Grandmother, affectionately called and it has had power in my life. Grandma Lillie, is the person who has influenced me the most. Although We often measure influence she passed away when I was six years and greatness by the standards set old, her influence was spiritual, and by the world. We may even doubt the power of that influence denies our own ability to make a difference comprehension. and to lead our family members into a life of faith. In reality, God uses When I was three years old, I spent faithfulness to bring about great the night with my Grandma Lillie. works among His people. Her home was no more than a shack. Dr. Vicars is a native of South Carolina and serves as a Chaplain in the U.S. Army. He lives at Fort Benning, Georgia with his wife Sharon and sons Will and Charlie.
Everyone of us has the ability to make a difference in the outcome of life for someone else, and this can best be done by being faithful in what appears to be the smallest things in life.
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to know Jesus Yes, Iaswant my personal Savior. When God calls your name, will you be ready to answer and to enjoy the gift of eternal life? If you are unsure, pray this simple prayer of salvation and begin to enjoy your new-found life in Christ. Confess with your mouth, believe in your heart, and receive the free gift of salvation. CONFESS THIS SIMPLE PRAYER
Father, I know I have broken your commandments and my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry. I am making this decision today to turn away from my past sinful life and live a life in true obedience to you. Please forgive me and help me avoid sinning again. I believe your Son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey you and to do your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
PHOTO: MATHIS PHOTOGRAPHER STUDIO
MYRA PEARSON Dr. Myra Pearson is ordained and anointed, appointed and approved by God and will not “Compromise to be Recognized” because honor belongs to God and to Him only. Her motto is, “To God be the glory.” www.jjoutreachministry.org
ow important is it to have strong and wise role models for our young women?
Myra Pearson: As older women, we set the path and pattern for the next generation by being an example rather than just using our words. Our greatest resource of what a strong and wise role model is found in Prov. 31—the virtuous woman. As role models, we have to “be steadfast, unmovable and always abiding in the work of the Lord” [1 Cor. 15:58]. This does not mean that you always have to carry a Bible underneath your arm, but rather it should appear in your attitude as love, joy, peace, and most of all, patience. A wise
role model has patience and does not give up easily in the middle of a crisis. This may mean we need to be transparent at times. We have to teach our young girls that we’ve been there, done that, but you can make it. Sometimes we just need to listen and not judge too quickly. Let the young women know you are a “Designer's Original”. In other words, when God made each of us, the mold was broken, completely. We are not clones. We do not have to emulate one another. We are to be who God has called us to be as an individual. We should not compromise in order to be recognized. Teach the young girls that it is not in our clothes, looks, or money, but it is in who we are on the inside. During my years of teaching children with special needs and I have learned that our youth are really going through a lot of different things. We as adults believe we are the only ones going through, but our young people are dealing with peer pressure, bullying, health issues, self-esteem and so many other concerns. Our young people need us. We have to not only teach our youth, but we have to reach them now. There is a sense of urgency in the atmosphere and God has given me a youth ministry called “Youth Empowerment: Mentoring the Now Generation.” It is not about yesterday, or the future, but the generation of today. We have to encourage our young men and women and let them know that they can do great and mighty things. The more we learn to give our youth praise and accolades–even though they may not be moving the way we want them to move–God will bless. We must constantly affirm who they are. I believe this is going to turn situations around in their lives. We may not be able to turn everyone around, but God can and will do the impossible. If we can get one, one can get another, and that’s the ministry of God.
“Don’t wait for something big to occur. Start where you are, with what you have, and that will always lead you into something greater.” —Mary Manin Morrissey
hy is it so important for women to share their stories?
Dee Rollins: I believe it is extremely important for both you and I to share our visions, our dreams, our hurts, and our situations. When we come together, we can empower one another. I can remember going through a tough situation and feeling as though I had no one I could call or trust with what I had to say. There were many times when I used to listen to a lot of dif different women share their stories, but when I got up to speak, I would think maybe now is not the right time. Yet, there came a time years later when I was able to expel everything that was on the inside of me. I was able to share it all, and from that experience is how I came up with the workshop entitled, “The Day the Devil Met a Woman”. The presentation is moreso about a she-devil because everyone tend to view the adversary as a man. During the workshop, we ask five powerful women to share their testimony. There are a lot of areas women are still not healed in, and they really don’t want to share what they are going through. They
may not feel that they can just get it all out right now, but this has even helped me to overcome. I saw what was happening with these women who were being set free. We watch this this shedevil intermingling with the audience and we are able to talk about things that need to be talked about. PHOTO: RONNIE WRIGHT Many share their testimonies—some who have been raped, abuse, addicted to drugs or whatever issues of life they have struggled with—and it changes the atmosphere. Now, we don’t exclude the men. There are a lot of times when we need them to be there so they can hear what we have to say and how we truly feel. It shows the men in our lives why we act the way we do because of the issues we’ve had laying dormant even before we met them. We leave empowered. We leave ready to share our story, our trials, and our triumphs again. People may be surprised to hear that there are more women who are suffering and who are hurting sitting among us in the church and this is what I am here for.
LADY DEE ROLLINS Lady Dee Rollins has been a radio personality for over 25 years as well as television host for Gospel Grooves Video Show and several other music and radio programs. She is also the Founder of Sisters Strengthening Sisters Ministry. www.ladydeewithpraise.webs.com
Every woman has something that she can offer to the Body of Christ, but we must be real with ourselves because our character was built upon who God truly made us to be and the person we are to become. Jeremiah 29:11 confirms this for us. God declares, “For I know the plans I have for you, thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you a future and a hope.” This sounds like God has already planned a wonderful life for me. I just need to walk in that plan.
“So celebrate what you’ve accomplished, but raise the bar a little higher each time you succeed.” —Mia Hamm
A WIFE’S TOP 12 LIST
ell Barrow (K
Carlos & Jew
Were married on July 30, 1999 in Miami, Fl followed by a beautiful honeymoon in Boca Raton. Carlos is the Senior Pastor of Fountain of Living Waters Christian Center Church and Jewell is a Teacher. This couple has 6 children, Brittany, Janell, Jahmai, Jordann, Jaaziah, & Daniel and reside in Griffin, GA.
In a girl’s world, everything would be perfect. The dress would actually fit without any alterations needed. The kids and the husband would ensure the house is neat and tidy hours before she arrived home. And well, all of her shoes, bras, and pantyhose would actually be comfortable and supportive as advertised. While these things may seem a tad bit farfetched to a lot of husbands, here are 12 simple and reasonable things a wife would love to hear her man say. 1. You were right. 2. I was wrong. 3. I am sorry. 4. Let’s eat out. 5. You look thinner. 6. I’ll clean up. 7. Let’s just cuddle. 8. Buy them both. 9. Yes, your mother’s welcome here. 10. Which chore should I do first? 11. Sure, I’ll watch our kids. 12. Thank you. Clearly, the Bible educates us both, the husband and the wife regarding the elements of marriage and love. It teaches us, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Eph. 5:22) and “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Eph. 5:26). Still, there are several actions we can take to ensure the love and respect for each other continues to be enhanced and grow into a marriage honorable to Him. You just have to want it. “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mk 10:9).
Want to Spotlight Your Marriage? Download Our Married Couples Form From Our Website. 30 | SUMMER 2012 | WWW.RENEWEDMAGAZINEONLINE.COM
As I was walking into the office of the Middle School where we both were e working at one time, I received the third said message from a co-worker that Jewell wanted to go out. After all she was attracted to my physique, intelligence and good looks. So, in order not to have her ask anymore and feel rejected, I agreed to take her up on her offer. She was cute and had a beautiful smile. Unfortunately, it turned out to be one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life. After having a nice evening, I pulled out my check card to pay the $27.32 bill, but it was declined. Clearly, not to be out done, I pulled out another card, but it was declined too. Here I was— big money “Los”, with two jobs and broke. Needless to say, Jewell had to pay for the dinner and leave the tip. Until this day, I don’t know if she told all of her friends about her experience; nevertheless, she still married me even though I could not pay $27.32 for our meal.
he Of course Carlos always over exaggerates Ssaid his side of the story about me pursing him.
Either way, we ended up going out on our very first date at a local restaurant. I asked my friend Michelle to come along because I wanted her to meet Carlos. He was very charismatic and charming. Yet, when the time came for him to pay for the meal, both of his cards were declined. I was so embarrassed and confused because Carlos used to brag about having two jobs and making well over sixty thousand a year. I thought to myself that if this is what it is going to be like with him having two jobs and no money, I’d better get out of the struggle right now. Needless to say, a few weeks later we went out on a second date and it was a thousand times better. I learned that Carlos has a caring heart who will truly do anything for me.
The long awaited Freshman CD “The Psalmist... Volume One” One from Desireé Harris-Bonner will capture your soul and spirit with its Gospel Soul flavor and hint of Jazz influence. While this Spiritfilled Psalmist lends her anointed voice & heart of worship to songs like “More”, “New Again”, and “Rest”, you will sense the very presence of God and be refreshingly encouraged to sit at His feet. The first of three planned volumes of contemporary praise & worship Psalms, this powerfully anointed project “Provokes Power Within”! Music Available through CDbaby.com or Amazon.com Ministry bookings: http://www.dhbonner.com
AMAZING The new Gospel CD release from contemporary Gospel singer/ songwriter Ernest D. Wilson is a tribute to the amazing love of an awesome God that he serves! The peaceful voice of the Psalmist will bring you into the presence of the Lord with the song “Worship” and other songs like “Rest” will bring healing for the soul. His musical project is a fresh manifestation of what the Lord has declared prophetically thru him and a transforming endeavor expressing his gratitude, appreciation and love for God. The best is yet to come! www.ErnestDWilson.com Ministry bookings: 267-307-3141
VICE VERSES Following the release of their best album yet “Vice Verses”, the Grammy award winning group who brought heavy hitters like “Dare You to Move” and the powerful “Dark Horses” return for a remix. This limited edition album is full of soul stirring lyrics and heart pounding tunes. Known for their mission to spread the Gospel around the world, Switchfoot launched yet another creative way to reach those dark corners of the earth. With a contest for fans to submit a remix for “Afterlife” which will eventually make it on the album, there is no doubt that “Vice Re-Verses” will be a must have for your collection.
Using the NKJV Bible, find the missing words hidden in the word search puzzle.
“For your _______ is your _______, the LORD of hosts is His name; and your _______ is the Holy One of _______; He is _______ the God of the whole earth. For the LORD has called you. Like a _______ forsaken and _______ in spirit, like a _______ wife when you were _______, says your God. For a mere _______ I have _______ you, but with great _______ I will gather you. With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment; but with _______ _______ I will have mercy on you, Says the LORD, your Redeemer.”
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puzzle answer pg. 5
Hint: Isaiah 54:5-8
| kymberli roberts
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