JOIE D’EVE
Cranky Christmas Squelching my inner Scrooge By Eve Crawford Peyton
I don’t like being a negative
person, but while the holidays seem to bring out cheer and joy in some people, they seem to make me crankier than usual. I’m a Grinch. I’m a Scrooge. I’m the exact opposite of people who put antlers on their cars and decorate their offices. Sure, I like hanging up my sister’s wreath, and I enjoy the occasional peppermint mocha, but by and large, I don’t care about getting presents, I hate spending money, crowds make me anxious, and traffic makes me furious. I have class parties to plan and holiday potlucks to bake for, and all of my crafts and cookies inevitably end up as Pinterest fails (my Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Nutter Butters a few years back looked so demonic that they would’ve been much more suitable for Halloween than Christmas). And I have definite mixed feelings about Santa – I love watching how magical it is for Georgia, and it’s sweet, too, seeing Ruby get in on the act. I gave her the whole “Santa is real because we are all
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Santa” talk several years ago, and she takes her responsibility toward Georgia very seriously. I don’t, however, feel great about lying to my kid, and Ruby has enlisted her dad to play Santa over the phone for Georgia, which means my ex-husband is saying, “Merry Christmas, ho-ho-ho” to my kid with another guy, and that’s a level of awkward that I don’t really relish in my life. Besides that, Georgia is too smart to really be fooled. “That’s your dad, Sissy!” she yelled at the phone. “No, it’s Santa!” Ruby insisted. “He just … has a cold.” “Uh, I have to go now,” said my ex. “Uh, be a good girl, Georgia. I’m going to go eat cookies with Mrs. Claus.” Then his new girlfriend called back, adopted a goofy accent, and claimed to be Mrs. Claus, and Georgia ran in circles yelling, “Tell the reindeer I love them! Bring me a Bitty Baby! I love you, Mrs. Claus!” and it was adorable and so kind of both my ex and his girlfriend – but also bizarre, with
a side of how is this happening not available for purchase online in my life right now??? or within 100 miles of me. As far as shopping, the one Of course, though, I need to toy Ruby wants is not available refocus. To get my head on straight for online purchase or within 100 and remember what’s important. miles of me, and the toys Georgia We’re all happy and healthy this wants changes every single day holiday season, even with the based on whatever unboxing video inherent challenges of blended she’s most recently watched on families and the stresses of being a working mom and YouTube. Then, too, we have the shortcomings of Excerpted from Eve the fact that Ruby’s Crawford Peyton’s the Target website. I’m never going birthday is four days blog, Joie d’Eve, which before Christmas, which appears each Friday on to be the kind of MyNewOrleans.com means I have to try to person who puts figure out what’s even cool to antlers on my car – although I send (she’s in middle school now, love it if you love it – but I also so she says cupcakes aren’t cool am going to try to be less of a anymore) and also means that I Scrooge. can disappoint her twice by failing It’s my December resolution. to get the one toy she wants that is God bless us, one and all.
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jane sanders illustration