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M E M B E R

G U I D E B O O K

Grow Big.


416-578-1928 Redwood-project.com

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Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


TABLE OF contents THE REDWOOD PROJECT..............................................................5 SECTION ONE Developing your redwood project arsenal..................7 Open Communication......................................................................8 Levels of Listening...........................................................................9 The Happiness Definition...............................................................10 The Happiness Breakdown.............................................................11 Section Two Identifying the Elements of You.........................................13 Values..................................................................................................14 Language of Values..........................................................................15 Peak Experience...............................................................................17 Voids....................................................................................................19 Epic Face-Off.....................................................................................20 Strengths...........................................................................................22 Values Show & Tell............................................................................24 Interests.............................................................................................26 Saboteur.............................................................................................28 Future Self.........................................................................................32 Relationships.....................................................................................34 Come Together..................................................................................35 Power Sources...................................................................................37 What’s Next.......................................................................................38 Redwood Scheduler.........................................................................39 The Redwood Board..................................................................40

The Redwood Project

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THE REDWOOD PROJECT Welcome to the Redwood Project. Based on the idea that asking simple questions can make a big impact, the Redwood Project presents Foundations, a process designed to arm young men & women with the capability to Grow Big. Just because the process is simple does not mean it is easy. Identifying the basic components of the individuals we are and the best ways to use our own elements to great ends takes clarity, focus and practice.

Living authentically as who you are is the biggest risk of all. With it come the very biggest rewards. Here’s to that Risk. Awareness & Action are the cornerstones of this Project. The activities of this experience guide deliberate action but it’s the individuals, the Members as the Redwood Project has coined them, that take the lead and enjoy the results. This effects today as much as tomorrow.

immediate, noticeable benefits

Become who you are. 4

Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook

long-term lasting impact


The Redwood Path

elements retreat

Over the course of the retreat, we take a snapshot of who you are now. A detailed inventory of what makes us‌us.

be me philosophy This involves 4 group Redwood Sessions and 3 . 1:1 conversations with the Lead. This is where we . write our R.A.P.

personal leadership

A combination of traditional leadership & teamwork mixed with personal awareness, ownership and responsibility.

Rules: 1. No one gets to be wrong 2. You are not allowed to say I don’t know/not sure/because 3. The contents of our conversations are Confidential

share your story. plant the seed today. PRACTICE, CREATE & ACT.

grow big.

The Redwood Project

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Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


SECTIONONE

developing your Redwood Project arsenal Here’s where we look at the skills needed to maximize the Redwood experience you have begun. As a nice bonus, you’ll notice that as you practice these skills, they will set you apart & serve you well in the ‘real’ world.

The Redwood Project

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ACTIVITY 1 open communication Battle Boredom. Be Unpredictable. Curious People are the ones who find, seek and explore. By asking questions, they bring out the best in people and make themselves look great in the process. When it’s their turn to speak, they do so by sharing what’s important to them and skipping the banal & obvious. They resist clichés and are respectful and appreciative of the people around them. It starts with Wide Open Communication.

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Activity Tally • Round 1: I learned _______________ things. • Round 2: I learned _______________ things.

what? oh sorry, i thought you were talking to someone else...

follow-up

Did you learn more in Round 1 or Round 2? Why? In what round were the answers more interesting? Which was a better conversation?

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Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


ACTIVITY 2 levels of listening There are good listeners and there are… less good listeners. You’ve seen them and know who we are talking about. THREE FACTS

1 Becoming a good listener takes practices. It is a skill. 2 An active listener is as engaged in the conversation as the speaker. 3 Listening well is a source of power. Three Levels of Listening LEVEL 1 Listening for your chance to speak. Spending the conversation in your own head. LEVEL 2 Having the conversation driven by your own curiosity. LEVEL 3 Using the space and individual body language to ‘sense’ the unsaid. Strong, active listening involves using only Levels 2 & 3

follow-up Listen to the story. Which listener would you rather talk to? Think about how you’re listening and try out both levels. What would you say next? How does awesome. body language change the conversation? yeah, cool. sounds great! go on.

REALLY LISTENING? The Redwood Project

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ACTIVITY 3 the happiness definition Working our way to a new definition of Happy. Expanding the Definition of Happiness

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My Happiness Score Today: _­­­_________________ Think about what makes you happy. Right Now. Let’s find images of what “Happiness” looks like. The Happiness Myths 1. You find happiness. The idea that happiness is something you must look for or wait on, vs taking charge of today. 2. Changing our circumstances is the key to happiness. AKA: Destination Happiness. When this happens, then we’ll be Happy. 3. You either have it or you don’t. It’s a myth that you have no say in it. Once you know where happiness comes from, you can create more of it. Good to Know/Key Terms .

• The Hedonistic Treadmill • Emotional Thermostat • Positive Affectivity • The 3:1 Ratio

• Flow • Gratification & Pleasure vs. . Enduring Happiness • Intentional Activity

follow-up How do we traditionally think about Happiness? How does this view box us in and remove options? How can we think about Happiness in broader ways? What areas truly impact Happiness? What happens when we are happier more of the time? 10

Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


ACTIVITY 3 the happiness breakdown enduring happiness = s + c + v

set range variable 50% 40% circumstance 10%

The Redwood Project

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Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


SECTIONTWO

IDENTIFying the elements of you We are now armed with a new set of tools. Awareness is a crucial skill to living well and preparing yourself for what’s next. So many people go through life never doing the work to look behind the curtain and find out what they have to share. They don’t get the chance to ask the questions to find out what they need to be truly happy. Like our good friend GI Joe says, “Knowing is half the battle”. And who wants to tell GI Joe he is wrong?

The Redwood Project

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VALUES This section starts with understanding your Values. They change, but also form a compass that we will not ignore. What’s true to you? What defines you? Articulating & pursuing your values is a crucial component of a big, complete life. Create a Personal Code This code will guide you through life’s choices & events. It will be your interpretation of what’s important, what you’re proud of and what you use every time you are playing at the top of your game. This is not about morals or right or wrong, but think of it as a filter through which to interpret what you see, say, hear and do. The goal is to eventually remove any discrepancy or gap between your actions and your values. When there is a gap, we are out of whack. Nearly every time you’ve been angry or frustrated can be traced back to you stamping on one or more of your values.

know them.

share them.

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Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


ACTIVITY 1 language of values Round 1 Highlight all the words below that jump out at you. These mean different things to different people. Which are important to you personally? What could you not live without? What do you think about or want more of? Accomplishment, Success Accountability Accuracy Adventure Beauty Calm, peace Challenge Change Cleanliness, orderliness Commitment Communication Community Competence Competition Concern for others Connection Continuous improvement Cooperation Coordination Creativity Decisiveness Delight of being, joy Discipline Discovery

Diversity Efficiency Equality Excellence Fairness Faith Faithfulness Family Flair Freedom Friendship Fun Global view Good will Goodness Gratitude Hard work Harmony Honesty Humility Improvement Independence Individuality Inner peace, calm Innovation Integrity Intensity

Justice Knowledge Leadership Love, Romance Loyalty Maximum utilization (of time, resources) Meaning Money Openness Patriotism Peace Perfection Personal Growth Pleasure Power Practicality Preservation Privacy Progress Prosperity, Wealth Punctuality Quality of work Reliability Resourcefulness Respect for others Responsiveness

Results-oriented Safety Satisfying others Security Self-givingness Self-reliance Self-thinking Service (to others) Simplicity Skill Solving Problems Speed Stability Standardization Status Strength A Will to Succeed Teamwork Timeliness Tolerance Tradition Tranquility Trust Truth Unity Variety Wisdom

Round 1 Tally I picked ______ words.

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ACTIVITY 1 continued Round 2 From the list on the previous page, cross out all the ‘aspirational’ words- these are the words which you feel you should have more of or would like more of.

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Round 2 Tally I crossed out ______ words and am left with ______ value words.

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ACTIVITY 2 peak experience Life is made up of moments. Some of these become remarkable memories. When we think about those experiences most special to us and what made them so incredible, it can tell us a lot. Round 1

blaire baker

Guest Reporter: ________________________________________________________ The true story of a Peak Experience unlike any other (in a couple of sentences): The story of building the strange duck & floating it down _______________________________________________________________________ the biggest river in Chile for 8 days with my friend Marc _______________________________________________________________________ Using your new found language of values, listen to your partner’s story to hear for their values. Write them all down below. You should be looking to find around 20. To do so, you will need to put on your best reporter hat to get to the bottom of the story. Ask questions. Experience the story with your partner; find out about the day. Learn what happened and how they felt when it was happening. Get the details you need to identify 20 values. • loyalty exploring & • adventure

• accomplishment

• stamina

• engineering

• connection

• creativity innovation & originality • friendship certainty of • endurance self • optimism • discipline certitude • resourcefulness • force of will do what’s tough ge ra u co • commitment fearlessness • experience jump off the cliff • determination

powerful • inter-dependence loyal teamwork • problem solvingnnection co • humour/fun & playfulness • progress & growth

Now, share the list of values you wrote down with the storyteller. Together, refine the words above and make sure they ring true for your partner. Points for creativity, badassitude and personality. But most of all, make them true. The Redwood Project

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ACTIVITY 2 continued Round 2 Pick your Top 5 The storyteller, together with some help from the guest reporter, now pick out the 5 values that feel and fit the best.

1 leadership & adventure 2 certainty of self 3 jump off the cliff 4 creativity & originality 5 powerful , loyal teamwork

congratulations.

you have a

code.

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Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


VOIDS The flip side to Values are Voids. They are the dark passengers that can effectively render your Code powerless and quickly steer the ship in the wrong direction. Just as our values are consistent, so too are we plagued by the same voids over and over again. Here is the good news: knowing they are there and what they look like is the fastest way to diffusing them and putting your values back in the driver’s seat. Let’s get theatrical here and think about the contest between our values & voids as a righteous battle between Good & Evil. And who better to illustrate these different sides then Yoda & Darth Vader? That’s right, nobody.

The Redwood Project

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ACTIVITY 3 epic face-off Round 1 Go back a few pages, grab your Code and write these 5 values below Yoda. Once you’ve done this, think of the corresponding word or thing (the Void), that most often prevents you from living and leveraging that Value. Write these words under Lord Vader.

yoda

vs.

vader

leadership & teamwork 2. certainty of self

1. fear

jump off the cliff 4. creativity & originality

3. comfort

1.

3.

5.

2. pernicious

doubt

4. habits

& avoidance powerful , loyal teamwork5. anxiety & isolation & connection

Round 2

A time

yoda

vs.

won

1. the

mountains of morocco with my sister, Katie

2. white

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& champagne fundraiser

a time

vader won

1. first

year at queen’s

2. launching

3. delivering

growth at proctor & gamble 4. 4th year documentary: breuklyn project

3. a

5. leaders

5. blackberry

& partners of redwood

the redwood project

relationship that went on too long 4. organized workspace

Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


ACTIVITY 3 continued Round 3 Find which one of the above face-offs from Round 2 is the MOST epic, the one you notice the most and that comes up the most often in your life. Round 4 Pick a side with your partner and get it on. It’s time to Face-Off.

follow-up Who won this test of will & cunning? The thing is, it could have been either one and this is pretty much like what happens everyday. Sometimes your values win, sometimes your voids can be too much to handle. As we move through the Redwood Project, we will begin practicing and developing skills to ensure your Values can consistently come out on top and stay in control.

The Redwood Project

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STRENGTHS No surprise, but your strengths are things you are good at. But here is the kicker: we use our strengths to build our values. When we focus our energy on activities, interest and goals that call on our strengths we do them well, naturally and with ease. We learn and get better quickly. We are able to enter a state of Flow (which we will talk about in our Everyday Action Session) in which time stops and we are able to perform at our very best.

My Top 5 Strengths (as determined by my VIA Survey of Strengths)

1 bravery & valour 2 capacity to love & be loved 3 creativity, ingenuity & originality 4 love of learning 5 social intelligence

So many people spend their lives determined to build weaknesses into strengths. It may be a ‘better’ weakness, but it will still be a weakness and probably provide you with a ton of frustration in the process. Think about working hard enough on your weaknesses to the point that it will not be a handicap preventing you from attaining your greater goals.

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Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


STRENGTHS continued According to Dr. Seligman, a leading researcher in the United States, Signature Strengths are the strengths of character that a person owns, celebrates and frequently exercises. Which of your top strengths above jump out at you? Which excite and invigorate you? Which ones do you naturally and most often use and show? Most people we interview can readily identify between 2 and 5.

My SIGNATURE Strengths

1 bravery & valour 2 creativity, ingenuity & originality 3 love of learning 4 5 Through the power of perspective we can reframe school, homework, relationships and commitments in terms of how your signature strengths can support and enhance it. This is the focus of our final Redwood Session: . Everyday Action. But until then, it’s time to bring this home with a little drama‌

The Redwood Project

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VALUES show & tell So much comes back to values, so let’s come back to them and think about how they are revealed in other ways. A Proud Moment

Racing at the Head of the Charles Regatta in Boston The object I brought to represent this

A picture of my crew, all in our Queen’s tri-colour, me in stroke passing under the Weeks Footbridge

follow-up What is this object important to me? Why am I so proud of this? What does it mean to me?

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Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


VALUES show & tell continued My Heroes

­­­­ HST, Dougie, Hemingway, Mum, Dad, Kate & Leslie, _____________________________________________________________________ Jerry Garcia, MLK Jr. Jack Kerouac, John Montgomery ­­­­_____________________________________________________________________ Your family. A favourite writer, musician or leader. Your best friend. The longer, the more varied and the more personal the list, the better. You can tell a lot from someone by the strength and style of their heroes. Who are yours? Why do they excite and inspire you? What have they accomplished? What have they taught you? How have they changed you?

The Redwood Project

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ACTIVITY 4 interests Our interests say a great deal about us. They reveal our style & skill, our excitement & motivations. After surviving the intensity of the qualifying round, your top 16 interests have made it to the biggest tournament in the world.

public speaking

WORLDCUP OF

being on a great team being on a great team

being on a great team

canoeing meeting great people

meeting great people

being on a great team

parties parties cottage parties playing guitar playing guitar photography

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Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook

ANDTHE WINNERIS:


m

Take 10 minutes to think of your 16 favorite things. What do you love to do? What do you really appreciate in life? Be honest. Be as specific or as broad as necessary. One rule: no friends or family. Proceed through the rounds with your groups and help each other out if you are stumped. There will for sure be some tough match-ups! Let the games begin!

music

YOU

music christmas

making things happen making things happen making things happen

writing

adventures

adventures adventures skiing, sailing, running

adventures reading

adventures

reading playing & watching sports

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SABOTEUR As we start to become aware of the Elements of you and begin practicing how to take full advantage of them, you will notice an inner alarm go off (maybe you already have). This happens when we are preparing to take big steps forward. All of us have a self-sabotaging voice whose mission is to hold us back and preserve the status quo – he likes things just the way they are. Fortunately, you are ALWAYS stronger and smarter than this conniving troublemaker. Saboteur Facts: 1. We all carry them and we will never fully get rid of our Saboteur 2. It is always easier to hear in others than yourself 3. When controlled, your Saboteur can be a helpful voice 4. The Saboteur will evolve as you grow

we want our saboteur

on the bus, but never

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Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


ACTIVITY 5 saboteur To begin, transfer your 5 Darth Vadar “Voids” and times when he won to the first two columns below. How do you control the Saboteur? The first step is recognizing when he’s around. The Saboteur lives in the shadows so the only and best way to put him in his place is by shining a light on his actions and calling him out. But to do this, you have to know what you are looking. What is his unique voice – what are the phrases you here in your head when he is causing trouble? Thinking of the times when Vader won, what was the voice inside your head saying? Record these phrases in the corresponding column.

voids 1.

fear

pernicious doubt 3. comfort 2.

habits & avoidance 5. anxiety & isolation 4.

A time

KILLER

vader

phrases

first year at queen’s launching redwood project relationship that went on too long organized workspace

can i make this work?

won

blackberry

people won’t try this you won’t find anyone else you can’t keep it clean , so why bother? this isn’t where you are supposed to be

When writing your phrases you might end up using the same ones more than once or you may have a different one for each situation. What are the common phrases and themes which appear again and again?

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WANTED saboteur It’s now time to create a Wanted Poster for your Saboteur and to get the word out that a new sheriff is in town.

Modusoperandi:

telling me I am not good enough to share something amazing WeaponsofChoice:

doubt, fear, habit Hangouts:

he shows up at restaurants, gas stations as I am driving through town , moving forward

Style:

unshaven , lonely, serious, sad Alias:

mr. jones DistinguishingFeatures (tattoos, birthmarks):

WANTED 30

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D

WANTED saboteur continued If you are more of an artist than a writer, draw a picture of the Saboteur for all to see. Better yet, go for both!

r u e t o b a s y m The Redwood Project

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ACTIVITY 6 future self Imagine meeting yourself 20 years from now. Imagine what you could learn and how remarkable you will be! This person is your Future Self. We can meet them now because intuitively we already know them – we just need to bring them forth through a simple visualization. Creating a future self vision is valuable because it allows you to speak directly to this person and find out what they did to get to such a strong, happy, fulfilled place- the place you are headed. Round 1 Engage in the Future Self Visualization. Do not be discouraged if you don’t have a distinct and fully formed picture. Trust yourself and the process and see what happens. What did you see? How did it feel? Use the following questions to solidify the vision in your mind.

Describe the dwelling of your Future Self. What does it look like and where is it? What kind of landscape does it have? What environment is it in? Are there trees? What kind? Etc. What does your Future Self look like? What is his/her essence? What does your Future Self remember about the last 20 years? What do you need to be most aware of in order to make the journey from where you are today to where your Future Self is?

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Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


ACTIVITY 6 future self continued Round 2 Break into twos and share your vision with your partner. If you are the person taking in the other person’s story, remember to use your powerful questions and active listening from your Redwood Arsenal to draw out as much of your partner’s vision as possible. It’s your job to help them form as distinct a picture as they can. Your Future Self is a key component of your Redwood Board, so take the time to find what you can.

The Redwood Project

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RELATIONSHIPS They are what tie us together and have a huge impact on our ability to be Happy. Yet despite their value, some of our most important relationships are not given the simple attention they require and we end up not getting the most out of the them. Not nearly. Time for a new approach.

Selfish Generosity This is all about you. Building strong relationships makes you a happier, stronger person. So you get to be selfish and generous at the same time. Why cultivate relationships? It’s common knowledge proven by science. 1. Lessons from Darwin Yes, the monkey man himself. Human beings would not have survived without creating social bonds. Groups hunted, protected children and fought off enemies TOGETHER. 2. Social support In times of stress, distress and trauma; everything’s easier with a friend. 3. All you need is love Most often, it is relationships which create our first experience of the emotion of love – the most wildly happiness inducing emotion there is. 4. Less hedonist adaptation Unlike money, our desires for relationships do not diminish as we attain them. Well, that’s good news!

The Science of Relationships Harry Harlow (1974) separated baby monkeys from their mothers at birth (poor monkeys!) and gave them two mothers – a wire one which dispensed milk and a soft cuddly one made of terry cloth. Harlow expected them to become attached to the wire one, but other than eating from it they spent their time with the soft cuddly one and sought shelter behind it when scared.

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In 1965 he raised monkeys completely in isolation (again, poor monkeys!). After a year without interaction with other monkeys they were fearful, withdrawn and exhibited some bizarre behaviours like biting themselves. The good news- yes there is some- once these monkeys were mixed with other young monkeys who had been raised in a normal social environment they begin to interact normally and displayed few effects from their earlier isolation.

Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


ACTIVITY 7 come together Round 1 List 2-3 examples of important relationships in your life under each header.

family school

dad

mum

katie

drew

billy

patrick

friends

dp

blaire drama

Now pick 2 of these relationships you’d like to improve. One or both of your parents need to be one as they are a crucial relationship. A better relationship involves working on one or all of a few simple ideas. Here’s the cool part- it makes you feel better and happier too. 1. Make time Talk to each other… a lot. 2. Express your admiration, appreciation and gratitude Communicate it directly. Evoke the best in each other. Magic ratio: 5 to 1. 3. Capitalize on good fortune Delight in their windfalls & successes. 4. Manage conflict.. . • Voice the complaint instead of a criticism. . • Provide an opening for peace. Use humour and/or affection. • Be aware of contempt & defensiveness. 5. Share Cultivate and support shared interests and goals. 6. Be supportive and loyal Avoid envy and fight for them fiercely. 7. HUG Do it now! Do it often! It’s all science. The Redwood Project

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ACTIVITY 7 continued Round 2 Label your monkeys with 2 people with whom you have relationships you want to improve. Now feed those monkeys! Which of the 7 relationship building techniques are best suited for each monkey? Pick at least 2 for each. MONKEY 1:

mum

MONKEY 2:

admiration & appreciation

be supportive & loyal

manage conflict

make time

katie

admiration & appreciation

be supportive & loyal

share

hug

Round 3 Commitment – it’s always easier once you say it out loud. Find the theme around your bananas and complete the following pledge. Think about the good choices you’ll need to make. My Pledge daily grind & make time because I say “no” to _______________. I’m saying “yes” to _________________

ingratitude

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Grow Big: Member’s Guidebook


POWER sources We pull our Power from different places. Understand the engine that drives you. A Redwood Framework

identify character strengths & values

deploy in signature ways

enduring happiness

THE POWER SOURCES

personal choices emotions the present actions

Apply these power sources to

physical body instincts language

ritual will style fun

relationships & purpose The Redwood Project

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WHAT’S next You’ve completed the Elements Retreat. Congratulations.

now it’s time to write your RAP. You will form a band and this group will become your team for the rest of the Redwood Project. Together you will work your way through 4 Redwood Sessions, each exploring one component of the BE ME Philosophy.

B E

BIG CHOICES EMOTIONAL FUEL

M E

MOMENT MASTERY

EVERYDAY action

You will also be engaging in 3 1:1 Check Ins – these are conversations with the Project Leader. In these conversations you will be tailoring your RAP and making it specific to YOU. Not only will you write out your RAP in the subsequent weeks after Elements, you will also fill out the remaining pieces of your REDWOOD BOARD. Take a look at it on the next page.

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REDWOOD scheduler Take a moment now to make sure you understand the schedule ahead. Anyone from the Redwood Team will be happy to help. The Dates for my 3 1:1 Check Ins

My 4 Redwood Sessions

#1 check in

big choices

#2 check in

emotional fuel

february 27th 6pm -9pm

march 8th 4pm -5pm

march 29th 4pm -5pm

#3 check in march 19th 4pm -5pm

march 20th 6pm -9pm

moment mastery april 10th 6pm -9pm

everyday action april 24th 6pm -9pm

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REDWOODBOARD

YOUR STORY The Redwood Board is a living, breathing testament to the story you are writing. This is a picture of you that is both a celebration and roadmap. Take a look at the sneak peak here. Over the course of writing your RAP, we will be filling in a poster size version of your Board so you can share it and display it with pride.

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MYHAPPINESS canadian happiness score

before redwood

average

6

6

LOVE

PE RI

6

AK

PRIDE

YL

E

EN CE

MYRESOURCES

family

work

fun

AMUSEMENT

CH

INSPIRATION

EX

INTEREST

after redwood SERENITY

ROLES

PE

BIGBADMISSION

name: style: e: techniqu

AWE

DIFFUSER

CHALLENGE

LANDMINE

HOPE

personal

SEEKER

BHAG

ER ACT AR

PERSONALSTATEMENT

GRATITUDE

2

1 3 4 5

EUR SABET

MYFUTURESELF & ULTIMATEVISION

do my choices support these?

HAPPINESS MYTHS

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ST

SIGNATURESTRENGTHS

5

4

3

2

1

1YEARGOALS

JOY

MYVALUES

MYVOIDS

it lets me be:

WORLDCUP OFYOU

when i live my values i am:

Redwood-Project: Guidebook  

Based on the idea that asking simple questions can make a big impact, the Redwood-Project presents Foundations, a process designed to arm y...

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