Forget by Rebka
The worst part about it was that she had to hear him sing. She’d made a promise that she would come see him perform, and she wasn’t about to break that promise. Still, it was probably going to kill her. He was singing the very song that made her realize he had a beautiful voice. It was the song that gave her goosebumps every time she heard it, but only when he was the one singing. Amazing Grace. She’d just have to find a way to deal with it, because despite how much she dreaded seeing him, no way would she back out on him. She tried uselessly to just not be in love with him, but for her, it was like trying to not breathe. If only they hadn’t almost kissed, she could keep pretending that he didn’t feel the same, or almost the same, and she could just tell herself to get over him since they’d never get together. Now she still had to tell herself they’d never be together, but she knew he wanted to be with her too. So she started praying about it. She asked God to help her get over him, but despite how many times God had listened to her, she wasn’t sure He would this time. The day arrived and she showed up. Before he went on, he gave her a smile that nearly broke her heart. His smile told her he loved her, but only as a friend. He’d said, “I love you” to her before, of course, but as a friend. The smile told her she was wrong about him sharing her feelings. It told her they’d never be together. She would’ve burst into tears right there, but she had to be strong; if not for herself, then for him. Because she couldn’t let him know that she was in love with him. He might never speak to her again if he knew that, and his friendship was way more important to her than his affection.
Still, it hurt her to know that he didn’t want her back. His performance was breathtaking, as usual. She found herself closing her eyes, wishing she could go back to the time when she’d first heard him sing this song, before she’d even gotten to know him. Before she doomed herself to be in love with the one man she couldn’t have for the rest of her life. When she opened her eyes, she saw that he was looking at her. She was beautiful. He felt like she was out to torture him, as if she knew he was trying to ignore his feelings for her and get on with his life; let her get on with her own life. But she was making it impossible for him. The minute he saw her, he couldn’t breathe. He smiled anyway, and took his spot on stage. He tried to ignore her, but found his eyes being drawn to her anyway, standing in the audience. He felt like there was a spotlight on her, pulling the attention away from him to her, but he knew this wasn’t true. Her eyes were closed, and she looked lost in the moment. She opened her eyes, and they stared at each other a moment before both looking away. He had to talk to her eventually, and he decided to try to act normal. “Hey,” he said, putting his guitar down. “How are you?” She ignored the urge to tell him the truth and responded with, “fine. That was…amazing.” On a normal day she still would’ve told him it was amazing, but now it felt too obvious. He had to fight the urge to kiss her. He didn’t know how much longer he could be around her before taking back everything he’d said before, so he had to make up an excuse to get away. “Well um, I have to get up early tomorrow to um, go to the studio, so I should probably be getting home,” he said.
She looked at her feet. “Oh,” she replied, obviously disappointed. Every time he had to leave, she found herself wishing she could pause time and spend forever with him. It was at that moment that he realized she was in love with him. In her mind, later that night, he didn’t leave. In her mind, he stayed and told her that he was wrong; they weren’t wrong; they were both right for each other, and he’d made a mistake letting her leave. In his mind, he hadn’t pulled back when they almost kissed. There was no one around when she went to the park the next morning, which was just fine with her. She could think. He intended to clear his mind of all thoughts, to try and forget about her for a little bit. Both of their plans went out the window when they saw each other. She couldn’t breathe, let alone think, and every memory they had together came rushing back to him. It was a moment before either one of them spoke. “I uh, didn’t expect to find you here,” she laughed nervously. He smiled, something he couldn’t seem to stop doing around her. “Yeah, me either. Going for a walk?” She nodded. She didn’t say anything after that, and he knew he would have to be the one to break the silence. He knew that sometimes she wanted to keep talking, but she just didn’t know what to say. “Maybe I could join you?” he asked quietly. She nodded again and started walking. She was his best friend, and he wanted things to be normal between them. He knew that when she found someone else it would slowly kill him, but he’d have to deal with that when the time came. For now, he could handle being her friend.
She wished she could talk to him. Her best friend was walking right next to her, but she couldn’t tell him anything. Normally he’d listen and hug her and tell her it was going to be okay, but he was the source of the problem. Something in her snapped and she had to ask him. She stopped walking suddenly, and his heart sped up when she turned to face him. “What happened?” It wasn’t quite what he was expecting. “What?” “Between us. You know. That night.” He was scared this conversation might happen, and now that it was here, he couldn’t speak. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. She suddenly felt very shy and couldn’t believe she’d said anything. “Well, I uh, um…” She’d felt so confident a few seconds ago, but now she couldn’t find the right words. “What night are you talking about?” He found it more difficult to lie to her than he thought it should be. “That…that night,” she stammered, taken aback. She realized what was happening, and her face dropped. He was pretending that it never happened, and it hurt. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to be angry with him, and that scared her more than anything. “The night we…” she trailed off, unable to speak the next two words out loud. “Almost kissed.” He looked away from her face and stared at the ground. “I think its best if we forget that ever happened,” he said, so quietly she wasn’t sure she’d heard him right. He was subconsciously hoping she wouldn’t hear him. “Forget…about it?” She tried to keep her voice steady, but found this hard to do. He made eye contact with her. “Yeah. Forget about it.” He didn’t know how he was even able to make the words come out of his mouth. Suddenly, the heavens opened up and it started pouring rain. She knew it was silly to take the rain as a sign of
disagreement about them forgetting about what happened, but she still couldn’t help wanting to. He glanced up at the sky before looking back into her eyes, which were considerably darker than the last time he’d looked deeply into them, before… They were both drenched, but neither of them was able to make a decision that would get them out of the rain. He was too captivated by her gaze to even think, and she couldn’t seem to speak the words that she so wanted to say. “I don’t want to forget about it, I love you…” The words just wouldn’t come out. “You’re soaking wet,” he said suddenly. She couldn’t do anything but reply with, “I know.” He looked at her for a few more seconds, wondering at how someone had taken such a hold on him in such a short amount of time. “You might catch a cold,” he said then, confused at why he was suddenly worried about her health. The first thing that came to her mind to say was the truth. “I don’t care.” “Why not?” he asked, genuinely puzzled. She paused then, trying to think of something to say that wouldn’t scare him off. She finally decided to just tell him the truth, even if it caused him to walk away. “Because I’m with you. And when I’m with you, it doesn’t really matter what else happens.” Her heart was racing as each word came out of her mouth. His heart nearly broke when she said this. He had to do what was best for her, but he could tell she loved him back. What if he was wrong, and walking away wasn’t the best thing for her? She took his silence as a bad thing. “I mean…I’m really sorry,” she said quietly before turning and starting to walk away. “Wait,” he whispered. She looked down at the hand that had grabbed her wrist, scared to look up and meet his gaze.
When she didn’t reply, he went on. “I’m really sorry I haven’t been talking to you much lately,” he said. “Things have just been, well, complicated.” She still didn’t look up. “I…I’m really sorry.” Getting worried, he bent his head to try to make eye contact with her. “Please look at me,” he added, his eyes pleading. Finally, she looked up and their eyes met. In an instant, both of them could tell what was going to happen next. Slowly, he slid his hand down her wrist until he was holding her hand. “The thing is,” he started, gently pulling her closer to him, “I’m in love with someone I shouldn’t be in love with. Or at least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself for the past few months. But now, I’m not so sure. That it’s wrong, I mean.” He had to work to keep his voice steady. He could see that she was unable to speak. “Haven’t you always wondered what it’s like to be kissed in the rain?” he asked. As he spoke, there was a flash of lighting and a rumble of thunder, and they both looked up at the sky. When they looked at each other again, he was smiling, the very same smile that made her go weak in the knees. She could barely breathe, but she managed to find her voice. “Yeah, I’ve always wondered about that.” She didn’t care to find out what the thunder meant. Without either of them realizing it, they’d slowly drifted closer and closer together until she could feel his breath on her lips, which were only centimeters apart from his own. When their lips finally met, she couldn’t help but breathe out a sigh of relief, as if she’d been holding her breath since their first almost-kiss. This time, he didn’t jump back. Instead, he pulled her closer, never wanting to let her go. The first mistake had been letting her walk away. The second mistake had been taking so long to realize he’d made a mistake in the first place. He knew now that
heâ€™d been absolutely wrong. Everything about them was right. Them being together was right, and he planned to keep it that way.