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Authored and contributed by Mandrill The basic question to be asked is do you need more than one sexual partner? Any common definition of monogamy refers to having a single sexual partner at a time. Societal norms stretch it to encompass being married to a single person or more commonly, emotional and physical commitment to one partner. That leads me to ask; are we confusing fidelity, the act of faithfulness, with monogamy? I know of very few couples where at least one partner has not “cheated� at least by fantasy. I too have to submit to that crime in the past. Role-play and fantasy form the bedrock of any monogamous relationship and makes it fresh every now and then. The couple involved needs to be both open and honest enough to admit that humans, unlike a wide variety of mammals and birds, are not monogamous by nature. Monogamy is largely a religious construction that may have found wide acceptance in history in relation to three factors: 1) availability of suitable partners, 2) money and 3) sexually transmitted diseases. In medieval times it was often difficult to marry once, let alone many times. City states and kingdoms often dedicated women and even men to the service of society as taboo-free sexual partners. This is evident in the cults involving goddesses worship; also many saunas had men providing pleasure too. The second issue was lineage and inheritance (money). Marriages were kept to the minimum or were pre-arranged to keep familial properties within the control of the patriarch or matriarch. The third and most compelling reason was the spread of venereal diseases. Most often cited is the case of syphilis; in the contemporary world, you have the boon of AIDS. While these are arguments against monogamy, are these the reasons that make me monogamous? I have often been in the middle of heated arguments with friends about monogamy versus polyamoury. I do have many friends who are practitioners of that art. However, I beg to differ, sixteen years of monogamy has its lessons which I wish to share. It takes years of work to truly enslave a sub. To the level at which a twitch of an eyebrow will make the sub simper. A true subconscious understanding of the limits of your sub is possible after long hard work, for a sub it builds implicit and unquestionable trust in the Dom. The boundaries of play stretch way beyond the bedroom to the general life outside it often envied

by poly couples but rarely equalled. If you wish to be the master of the whip, rope and pain, I suggest that you exist in spaces with your sub for long periods of time, if your mind does tend to wander then consider the spice of role-play, fantasy, and fictional time play. Am I a case of sour grapes then? Is it because I can’t have multiple subs that I decry polyamoury? Definitely not, I would never trade a single moment of my monogamous life for any other form of relationship that may have been more “exciting” – it would be personally less satisfying. Is there a sub I wish was under my domination out there who was more desirable than my sub? She definitely exists in my active fantasy life which incidentally is a humiliation game for my sub and brings us both exquisite pleasures. As a parting shot, I would compare monogamy to an old friendly bed that moulds to your body and being poly is like living out of a suitcase in various comfortable but sterile hotel rooms.

POLY : The Theory & Practise Co-authored by Joy Willingly & Baby Slut The Theory: The word “poly” in common parlance means more than one or many. When we speak of “poly” in a relationship, the most common term used is polygamy. The word polygamy has its origin in Greek language and means “the practice of multiple marriages”. Polygamy can be divided into two branches: polygyny, a male having multiple wives and polyandry, a female having multiple husbands. A less common practice in polygamy is group marriage, a marriage constituting multiple husbands and wives. Polygyny is the most common form in existence across the world. It is considered to be a form of marriage where more than one woman shares a man. It is different and distinguishable from casual relationships of a man outside marriage or having a concubine. Sororal polygyny is a type of marriage in which two or more sisters share a husband. Polygyny was an accepted form of practice in ancient Hebrew society, in several countries in Asia as well as in many traditional Native American, African and Polynesian cultures. In Indian culture, polygyny was a prevalent and accepted practice. In both the Hindu epics, the Ramayana and the Mahabharata, we find instances of polygyny in abundance. Polygyny was also an accepted form of practice in other religions too. The practice was dependent on the existing socio-economic structure and the existing society. It was also dependent on the male-female ratio of the time. Amongst animals, research has shown, there is existence of polygamous relationships too. It is seen amongst wood mouse (also called the long tailed field mouse) that the male of the species mates with multiple females. Elephant seals are also known to be highly polygamous. Polyandry was a less prevalent practice than polygyny but was prevalent among the inhabitants of Tibet, northern parts of Nepal, Bhutan, Canadian Arctic as well as in Ladakh in India. Polyandry is also practices in several cultures in Uttarakhand, amongst the Nairs in Kerala, as well as amongst some tribes in south India and north-east India. Unlike polygamy, polyandry is prohibited by most of the religions. The only common place reference of polyandry is that if Droupadi and her five husbands in the Mahabharata.

In nature, polyandry is seen amongst field cricket. Females of this species will mate with any men close to them including siblings. Polyandry has also been documented amongst frogs and polecats. The polyandrous behavior is also seen in new world monkeys that are found in central and South America. In the later ages, the practice of polygamy was seen as a difficult proposition in view of the inheritance rights. The practice was discouraged in most of the Christian world, in the post Vedic period in India and with the advent of the caste system which restricted the practice of polygamy. Polyamory may be described as consensual, ethical, or responsible non-monogamy. It might be either a sexual or a non sexual romantic relationship. The practitioners of polyamory emphasize on the transparency and honesty and the same is regarded as the crucial defining characteristic. And there lies the basic difference between a polyamorous relationship and an outright cheating, which is devoid of such honesty and transparency. The word polyamory doesn’t only restrict itself in describing relationships but it also depicts a philosophy, an orientation or a preferred way of life. It has its roots in mutual trust and dependency and rejects possessiveness and jealousy. In also challenges the social construct of monogamy which has been hammered into our system by the society. At present, in the western world, many people choose to practice polyamory and also reside in polyhouseholds. A poly-household might have multiple partners of either sex. There is no restriction on the number of persons who can be in a poly-household. It depends on the mutual consent of the existing partners to add on to the hive. A poly relationship might be in the nature of an open relationship where all the parties are open to explore or it might be one of poly-fidelity, thereby binding the partners within a structured rule. Poly-fidelity is in the nature of a group marriage wherein all members consider each other to be primary partners. It frames rules and norms for the partners and does not leave it at the free will of the individuals. New members can be inducted in the group only upon the consent of all the existing members. Like all others, poly has its dangerous side too. It is a beautiful dream which, in seconds, can turn into a disastrous nightmare. Tolerance for others’ choice and decision is an important aspect of any relation. The difference between two partners in a monogamous relationship affects only those two. But in a poly relationship it might affect the equilibrium of the whole poly family. The understanding between the partners has to be absolutely clear. The clarity must be of emotions, of intellects, of mutual understanding and most importantly, of understanding of one’s self. There ought to be transparency amongst the partners. One of the most important reasons of breakdown of marriage in existing society is infidelity. A poly relationship breaks the existing norm of fidelity by presupposing the existence of many or at least more than one partner. Love is not restricted to one; it is for all, or at least many! The Practice: I just got out of a train wreck of a mono relationship, which would have been a lot less painful if I'd kept my options open. I used to think that monogamy was better for me because I need a lot of love, affection and reassurance. I have serious abandonment issues, and need to know that my partner will always be there for me. It's just too damned scary to think of them being with someone else, because they might stop loving me. I'm really picky about who I have sex with. I'm only interested in sex with someone I love and trust. I used to think that polyamory was all about indiscriminate, meaningless sex. I want really deep intimacy, and I didn't think I could be that close to someone if I had to multi-task with several lovers. I have most

trouble understanding why people would choose to be poly when I see how much drama it entails. Even simply mathematically, two lovers is twice the drama! Moreover it’s often almost always hush-hush and/or on the grounds of don't ask, don’t tell. Now everything has changed! Dimensional shift occurred recently and I'm adjusting to this new paradigm. People who can accept that loving multiple persons in their daily lives could perhaps amount to the fulfillment of their life (fulfillment of their life? Maybe you could say ‘finds meaning’ because life fulfillment sounds very broad and vague) from the pursuit of loving the others who love them. Though it seems to be that I have no clue about mine (your what?), whatsoever – I’ve had clues (clues towards what?) and I’ve had puzzle pieces thrown at me. May be it's just that when you fall for someone in some way when you still are forced to be something you are not – really does for all intents and purposes screw and fuck up your own mind. I’m sorry but this whole paragraph requires a re-writing I think – difficult to understand what the points were. Now, however, I can't imagine things any differently. Now I understand that nothing is forever, that there are no absolute guarantees, and that NOW is the only real forever. I understand that. “and they lived happily ever after." exists only in fairy tales. How does this relate to polyamory, even serial monogamists might hold this view? Is the concept of ‘forever’ less amongst polyamourists? I've never actually been in an "official" polyamorous relationship, but I've always been very fascinated by them. Now that I am in a poly relationship, just a few weeks, and have never been more in love. You have to ask yourself what it is that draws you to it, I think we are all capable of loving more than one person (ask any parent who has more than one child). Personally, I have never felt so loved, so cherished, so safe, or so vibrantly alive. Until this relationship, I would have avoided the idea of having of having multiple love relationships at the same time but now that I am living it, I find myself happy and content. Once in a great while I do find that I question myself on what I am doing and where I am heading. Sharing someone has been a difficult concept for me. I sometimes do find it a little difficult to deal with the stress/hassles associated with poly relationships. I had the same fears and doubts that lots of folks have about polyamory. I feared the betrayal, the rejection and the pain that must be inherent in seeing your lover love someone else. Don't you get jealous? Don't you get resentful? Aren't you afraid you'll get abandoned? Aren't you afraid you might fall in love with someone else and want to end your current relationship and it will all just get really messy and painful and difficult, and won't it generally be all those things that we hope to escape from when we settle into blissful, happily-ever-after monogamy? How can you ever feel secure? How do you navigate a poly relationship without feeling like you’ve been used, or are being used, or like I don't matter because I'm just one of many "play" partners in the mix? But then again I'm liberated from the constraints of monogamy and as a consequence, I'm less secure, I'm constantly at risk, constantly changing. I work much harder, and I get much more from my loves than I ever did when I only loved one at a time. I think it is about growing and trusting, knowing that the partners truly care. In the relatively short time that I've had this way of looking at love, I've learned more about myself and my heart than I learned in years of monogamy – elaborate what you have learned or avoid this sentence. Yes it's messy and painful sometimes. Yes, relationships end and yes, people do get hurt. But people get hurt anyway, right? They make messes of their relationships, they fall in love with new people and relationships end. That's humanity, not polyamory. It’s monogamy, it's heterosexuality, it's homosexuality, it's life.

Truly loving relationships are difficult to come by whether monogamous or polyamorous. Should a second relationship (or more) present itself, why must it be ignored or denied, or a choice be made? Each relationship is unique in it self and adds to the whole. For me, the core of polyamory is love, and the freedom to act on that love. It's as simple, and as complex, as that. The best things in life can never be kept, they must be given away. A smile, a kiss and of coarse, love. Can we not conceive of a life where nobody feels driven to possess another, where love multiplies instead of dividing when a new person comes in the scene? It’s true that poly doesn’t work for everyone. But then again, nor does monogamy. Anyone who finds love is fortunate, no matter what their terms are.

Humiliation - The Dom Speaks Dynamic Wisdom shares a Dominant’s perspective about Humiliation with us.

Have you ever wondered, what is humiliation? Why do some people like to humiliate while others like to be humiliated? What it does to us, as individuals and couples or as a single unit. Why some of us feel close to or start feeling more close to the very one whom we humiliate? There are many more questions, but, there is no definite answer. We go around in circles, finally settling for an explanation that suits us best! This article will explain my view first before getting down to what is humiliation. Before we start, there are a few things to be clear about. I am into D/s, this means kink or BDSM activity is a part of what I do. My ultimate goal is to feel close to my partner. Next, I am a sadist at emotional and physical sides of personality and I live it 24/7.Love and devotion are the most important part of any activity for me. Whatever happens between me and my partner remains between us - period. The only exception is of people I seek or give advice from or to.

24-7 Sugar Free

“Humiliation” or erotic humiliation for me is an activity to confirm the ‘claim’ (or depth of it) over my partner. Humiliation need not categorically be erotic in order to be called erotic humiliation. But, it can be any activity that stimulates sexually. It’s an activity that aims at reclaiming or reminding my partner who is in command. Let’s talk about the various kinds of activities. Usually the physical and tangible task list is aimed at tiring out the sub and to take him/her to an emotional edge. A sub, which is given the listed tasks, finishes them and yet don’t complain, is sure worth keeping. Whilst there are numerous activities that are included in the physical/tangible aspect of humiliation, I enjoy some and do not enjoy some. Reason being; Simple - the psychology of humiliation is individual specific. Psychologically, Humiliation touches strong emotional buttons, more so when it becomes sexualized. I love the idea of a sexual object and a domestic slave available at my disposal, someone who will be used for pleasure or pain at my desire, without so much as whimper or sigh. However, she (considering I’m a straight Dom) is still someone I love and value for her devotion and desire to serve me. She needs my constant attention; I do this by keeping constant eye on her, which is my way of showing her my love. As with all sexual activities, some people have sexual fantasies about humiliation, and others actually undertake it as a lifestyle or in a scene. I am not into online play or LDR, because, I like administering the task in my presence, just in case something goes wrong. After all she is someone who gives me her everything – heart, soul and body, and I cherish her, though causing her pain (I’m a Sadist after all). Sexual fantasies relating to humiliation are not uncommon for me too. Sometimes I just need to keep her on the edge, at others I just might use her raw and rough. However, everything I do painful or not, is my love to her, my way of showing that I am devoted to her.

Love that glows I love the smile of contentment that would come on my sub’s face, when I spray golden showers on her petite body, marking it as my territory. And I love the blush, when she’s forced to offer me fellatio as a service. Scat, being my hard limit and same case being with rimming (both receiving and giving), I find them more a turn off rather than a turn on. Pet play, verbal embarrassment, interrogation, role-play while arousing to many subs, can be breaking to a sub. This I’ve noticed, and always tried to be careful. It’s important for a Dom

to understand what a turn on to a sub is, might completely bring to tears to another. This is combined with loyalty and care-giving to the extent that these fetishes are seen by me as exercises in trust rather than primarily a humiliation fetish. However, consent and (paradoxically) a high degree of awareness, communication is needed to ensure that the result is exotically erotic, rather than abusive. For example, a submissive may enjoy being insulted in some ways, but be genuinely crushed and devastated if humiliated or insulted in other ways. Before practicing the Dominant or Top has to be good at self-control, sometimes when the sub/bottom is getting a reaction in the negative effect, one has to stop mid-way even if it is very hard to do so when one is deep into it. This could be very hard when needed to be done, than just hearing or reading about it. The Safety of someone you love or care for is mandatory. Whilst mild or moderate humiliation is not an uncommon part of BDSM or other sexual role-play, humiliation play can be taken to a point where it becomes emotionally or psychologically distressing to one or the other partner, especially if it is public humiliation. Erotic humiliation can become extreme enough to be considered a form of edge-play, that some consider may best be approached with advance negotiation and use of a safe-word. This is a highly subjective issue, and depends greatly on context. Not just this, like I’ve emphasized earlier, it is important to check the comfort level of a sub when humiliating him/her and ascertain that he/she is loved and cherished. I take complete precaution to first know what turns them on, their soft limits, hard limits and turn offs. And of course after care, to make sure and certain that they have taken humiliation play only in the sense of play and not to their deeper minds, is something thatMUST be ensured. All in all, humiliation is assertion of ownership over the involved ‘other’, at a psychological and physical level. I can make her do anything within the safety limits; it also makes me feel good to humiliate someone as she does anything that I ask her to do, for my sake. It’s an edge play where she goes right to the edge of falling down. I pull her back to safety every time and I don't think many will be able to resist temptation to this? To me, humiliation is a great way to get a loving couple nearer to each other, both parties show their love and devotion to other in a certain way, by offering other the most from them. Both withstanding great amount of tension and stress to keep other one happy and satisfied and the way it goes is, “When you are getting something wonderful in return (or reward) it might be well worth loosing a little”

Humiliation - The Sub Speaks

Delhigirl decided to lay us down with her take on humiliation. Read on for a more hands-on experience with the whole world that stands humiliated! The word humiliation literally means “The abasement of pride, which creates mortification or leads to a state of being humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission.” This particular word evokes a variety of responses in different people. The responses range from anger at being subjected to the other extreme which involves deriving pleasure from humiliation. To me, humiliation is mind play. It involves making me as a submissive feel worthless or objectifying me to a level wherein my sense of self worth is reduced to nothing. But the submissive within me finds pleasure in this loss of control because it is a badge of honor for me to be able to shed all my inhibition. Humiliation is such a complex kink that many a times, individuals involved in the lifestyle hesitate to indulge in it for fear of crushing their submissive to a level wherein he/she is no more enjoying it but actually hating it.

As complicated as math - figuratively For a long time, I’ve been mortally terrified of it as well. Since it’s all in the mind, it’s very important to know the other person really well before indulging in any humiliating act, for badly done acts can leave a permanent damage. Also for some people certain issues maybe so

personal that humiliation involving them is just not acceptable. So such things must be understood and agreed to before indulging in play or a certain session. A submissive may enjoy one form of insult but something else may devastate him/her in ways that may be irreparable. Another issue of complexity with humiliation is safety. Some such acts might be considered as vulgar in society and thus such things should be kept in mind especially in the case of public humiliation play. A certain level of risk makes it even more pleasurable but it shouldn’t be so scary that it ceases to be enjoyable. Humiliation can vaguely be divided into public and private. Private humiliation is seen by a lot of us as an easier alternative. It is less debasing as it involves a closed space and is more controllable. Also safety issues are easier to manage and thus the submissive enjoys a lot of pleasure in a relatively risk-free environment. The minute we take a scene out in the open, the chances of exposure increases and thus the responsibility of the dominant person also increases. A submissive may experience arousal due to the degradation or may derive their pleasure from the fact that they are surrendering to their Master’s will. The act in itself may not be pleasurable for them but the idea that they are enduring the humiliation for their Master/Mistress definitely is which backs my statement as the whole idea of humiliation is thus all to do with mind play. Humiliation could be dissected into three aspects; Dehumanization/Pet play, Verbal or Physical. Verbal humiliation is when the traits that we take pride in is ridiculed. It may also involve a recollection of an incident which they may not be very proud of and would thus like to keep personal. Physical humiliation involves the submissive’s active participation as it involves him/her doing something he/she may not be comfortable doing, for example; wearing something provocative or performing a provocative act. Since it involves active participation, it is important to be patient and give the submissive enough time to first assimilate the command and then to gather enough courage to actually do it. Dehumanization/Pet play is an extreme form of humiliation wherein a submissive is treated like an animal and thus made to walk, talk, and eat, etc like an animal. At times it may go as far as objectification. For an example physical humiliation was comparatively more difficult for me to endure, when I faced it. My Dom waited patiently for me to do my task and at the end of it loved me in a way I couldn’t have imagined. I realized that after a physical task the after care was even more important. I was literally trembling and he took me in his arms and cared for me like a baby. I haven’t ever felt more loved in my life. Strange, that humiliation made me feel so cherished.

Endless Love courtesy Juliana Coutinho Humiliation if properly done is a freeing process for a submissive. It makes us break free from the social morals and express ourselves and our erotic desires. The simple act of kneeling in front of our Dom may be filled with lots of emotions and it’s important for the Dom to understand that while we as subs might enjoy doing this in private but the same act in front of friends and family may not be acceptable. One act might be very pleasurable for the submissive one day but the same act another day might not be pleasing as he/she might be weak or have had a long day. The objective is to create pleasure and excitement for both the submissive and the Dom and not to destroy, injure or damage the existing space between the two involved.

Humiliation is a very intense experience. For me it’s really important that I know and trust the person really well before I even try something like this with him. The first time I tried humiliation with my Dom, it was more verbal. Physical humiliation came only later. Verbal humiliation touched a very deep chord in me. The words he used that time were words I would normally not be shy using. But at that time, the way he made me say those things made me blush like hell. It actually took me 2 minutes to gather the courage to say it. But once I did that, it didn’t feel dirty anymore. Somehow I felt cherished and loved. The smile that came to his face made me feel proud of myself. I felt as if I had broken an invisible barrier and submitted completely to his will. But the most important part here was that this is a guy I love and trust. I might never have done this for someone else. Or even if I would have done it I would have hated myself later on for doing it. I would have felt used and actually ashamed. I might have actually lashed out at verbal humiliation or might have used a safe word. Humiliation is not something that should ever be tried very early in a relationship. Only when the relationship has matured to a level that you understand each others needs, can you try humiliation.

How to make D/s toys Written by Dominiqua_j


Materials Required: 1) A steel ring (according to the size of the subs mouth so that the mouth is wide open), easily available in any hardware store; 2) Two straps of leather (1 inch width, length – long enough to go round the head) 3) Few repeats (six) 4) Buckle How to make: Take the steel ring and wrap the two leather straps on either side of the ring and fix them by hammering two repeats on the either strap. Make sure the ring doesn't move, or is loose in any way. It would be more efficient if the ends are sewed. Then fix the buckle with one end of a strap by hammering repeats or

sewing and on the opposite strap make holes at different intervals so that the ring is tightly fixed on the mouth.

Ball-gag [For big mouth] Materials Required 1) A soft smiley ball 2) A fat needle 3) A thick rope How to make: Take a soft smiley ball. Insert a fat needle with a thick rope tied on the back. The needle comes out along with the rope form the other end. The gag is ready. How to use: Squeeze the ball inside the mouth and tie the roped form behind.

Ball-gag [For smaller mouth]

II. Materials Required: 1) A golf ball 2) A thin leather strap

3) Two straps of leather (width – 1 inch, length – long enough to go round the head) 4) A buckle How to make: Take the golf ball and use a drilling machine to make a hole through the ball. Take a thin leather strap and insert it from one end and pull it out from the other end. Then sew the two ends with two leather straps. Fix a buckle on the strap and make holes on the other so that the ball can be tightly fixed inside the mouth depending on the side of the person involved.

How Toys Work : Nipple Clamps Contributed by Aconite What are they?

Some nipple clips screw on, the screw mechanism allowing you or your partner to provide just the right amount of pressure. Some come wired for attachment to a vibrator for intense erotic sensations. And others are linked by a chain for decoration, or to lead the wearer around by the nipples.

Safety tips; words of caution (If you may) Nipple clamps usually restrict the blood flow in the nipple, so watch carefully for skin de-coloration or temperature change. They should not be left on tightly for more than 15 minutes at a time. As “clampers” will attest they often hurt the most at the moment they are taken off. Its also a good idea to keep them clean after each use with soap and water, the last thing you want is a dirty clamp infecting your nips.

Positioning If you place the nipple clamps on the tip of a nipple it will be very painful and the clamp will probably fall off too. However, if you gently pull the nipple forward & place the nipple clamps where the nipple meets the chest, it will be less intense but still enjoyable and sensitive.

Different types of clamps If the homemaker inside you says that clothespins will do, you’re right. They’re not adjustable, however. For more careful control, pick up a set of clamps with screws that allow you to start easy and then increase the squeeze. Go easy, since the sudden return of blood to your nipples when clamps are removed is often more painful that putting them on. For pressure without a lot of pain, try the little suction cups that come in snakebite kits you can get at army-navy stores. Overuse of these can cause blistering or even open sores. So there you have it. Nipple clamps don't always have to be painful unless you want them to. They can be erotic, beautiful, fun & kinky. They can make nipples feel like heaven, regardless of how small or large your nipples are.

A Poem

Contributed by sunny sub

When you feel that the world that you live in Is not enough, Is just not enough, Then your mind wonders, and wandering, takes the step out of the line, and you think of me. You think of me, my body, What would you do to me, What would have me do for you, If only I could be yours. Wondering, wandering, Taking a step out of the line, And thinking about me, my soul, Of how would you feed on me, Satisfy your hunger, If only I could be yours. Your eyes closed, With me hovering in your mind, Rapidly building up your thoughts, Thinking, wondering, If only, if only.... I could be yours. You know that is what we both wish for,

You know that is what we can't get, You know that is what we try for, But you know that is what we can't reach. When you look at your world, Your eyes full of negativity, Everything seems so dull, so boring, Then your mind wonders, Wanders across the world, To me. You fantasize about me, Imagining me bound, hapless, In front of you, My naked body exposed, vulnerable, All for your use. You drive yourself to your climax, Again and again, As you let your mind wander, Wander out of the line. A step out of the line, A forbidden line for your mind, Wandering, forgetting the boundaries.

Kinkster of the Month Steel_Kink: Hi Fantasymate, let me start with a little introduction for all our readers around the world (read as fellow kinksters), so shoot away - what is the Fantasymate? FantasyMate: A big hello to all the kinksters. First off, let me introduce myself. Here is a decent educated and dominant 38 year old male from New Delhi. I’ve been in this lifestyle for over 10 years now and have had some wonderful experiences. I have been with some amazing people into voyeurism, public scene, bondage, humiliation, nudism, and D/S. Now I wish to

graduate and move forward to the next level (don’t know what it is). Perhaps the best part of this lifestyle does not know, from where to start and where to end. I’ve been enslaving and dominating submissives (closely knit society in India) for well over 10 years. I strongly believe that there are hidden desires which crave so deep within every human being, Be it fantasies or sin (the way you call it). During those especially long stretches of time when romantic and sexual prospects seem minimal, many people begin to fixate on the idea of a fantasy person who for all intent and purposes, perfect same was/is the case with me. My current lifestyle means that meeting potential partners is difficult (and I never could meet the right women in pubs and bars), so for me the RIK is a wonderful forum to meet my fantasy mate and explore what’s beneath the surface only had little success so far, but that hasn't put me off SK: Your Fetlife account boasts of a million fetishes, what's the one closest to your heart? Also, your curiosities mention a lot too, what's number one on that list? How do you involve your fetish in your sessions? FM: Okay to mention my biggest fetish I need to get into it in details. Some people aren't sure if they even have a fetish while others think that their fetishes are abnormal. So what is a fetish? If you have a fetish, you are obsessively fixated on either an object or a body part. The word fetish originally meant "charm," and it originates from the 15th century Portuguese word Felatio, which means false power, object or charm. First, a fetish involves the transfer of power from an original source onto a substitute. Second, a fetishist is someone who operates outside the circle of what is characteristically considered normal. Yeah right, what is normal nowadays? It is difficult to name just one closest to my heart, though would love to mention few. I have a special appreciation for my wonderful foot slaves. I love to have my feet massaged, my toes licked and sucked whenever possible. It is a glorious feeling and knowing that the person doing it truly enjoys it makes it that much more wonderful for me. Some of the favorite activities are foot massages; toes lick & sucked, and foot tease. Corporal punishment is definitely another favorite. I can be quiet the sadist for the masochistic submissive. I absolutely go crazy for the sound of leather, plastic or wood on bare flesh. Seeing a submissive squirm, hearing their moans the snap from my whip excites me immensely. For me corporal is so much more then beating a submissive mercilessly, I like to slow down and enjoy the glow from the submissive's skin. Tease the submissive sensually, blow gently over the skin, scratch my nails or rub my hands over the sore flesh. Look into the submissive's eyes and whisper how excited I have become. For me, percussion play is not about punishing a submissive but more in the line of playing a fine tuned instrument. It could range from a base drum for the extreme masochist to playing orchestra bells for the more tame. In corporal punishment I love to indulge in counting games. I always keep my sub counting the number of strokes delivered, like while engaged in whipping, flogging, spanking, or during any other form of flagellation. Specially love it when my sub ask for more, love to hear; that’s five sir. Thank you sir, please may I have another sir and so on and so forth. I get particular delight with nipple torture too, this includes weights, clothespins, biting, pinching and clamps too. Verbal Physical degradation & humiliation is another favorite. Another fetish is sounds, I absolutely adore playing with. Something about teasing and handling the female sub, seeing the fear in the submissives eyes as I pick up the 10" instrument (Dildo). Starting ever so small and working the size up to something a little larger.

Not forcing the instrument, slowly guiding it down into the delicate tunnel. Watching the look from the submissive change from fear to pleasure, quite a few submissive’s have begged for sexual release during the process as I grin evilly telling them "not today". Olfactophilia is another fetish; I get highly aroused by body smells usually when I insert my finger in to the subs anus or the subs wet and supple pussy and yes sniffing during sex. High heels make me horny and the feeling of fur or skin is sensual and erotic for me. SK: What do you look for in a slave? How do you go about choosing your slaves? FM: What I look for in a slave? Hmmmm….Well a person, who has an on-going, structured relationship with a dominant like me. One who assumes the submissive role, often in a highly developed and committed way to her master, I like slaves who are obedient and one who can adore the personage of my dominance. SK: In your experience of 10 odd years, would you kind enough to explain one of the most memorable sessions of yours? FM: Well, quite a few in fact but would recount one. It was my first kink experience too. It was way back in 1999, I was in a vanilla relationship with a female (she’s happily married now). Anyway, It was her friend’s birthday bash and I was really high on beer that night. After the party we drove back to my residence, no one was at home so she decided to stay over. Just after we got back she felt “dirty” and wanted to take a shower. She may have gone to the shower to get clean but the end result was dirty. “At first I just asked if I could watch her,” and “Pretty soon I was taking off my clothes and joining her.” She wanted to pee before the shower and the hissing sound of her pee sent shivers of excitement in my body. I just couldn’t resist and started leaking in front of her. There was that sudden lust in her eyes and I ended up showering her. Both of us were silent, nothing to say. She finally got up from the pot and we ‘started up’ against the wall, and then moved down to the floor. I just took the lead to make sure she was on the bottom because the floor was dirty and we had a wild passionate and intense session in the bathroom. We kept going till the wee hours of the morning and that was one of the most memorable sessions of my life. The other one was when we made out in open (Arambol beach in Goa). It was raining that night. SK: Tell us more about your collection of toys, what's your most prized possession? FM: I do have a great collection of Dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, clit messieurs, whips, spanking gloves, dog collar and handcuffs. The most prized one is a 12 inch dildo and a bondage collar. SK: Name one member of the Indian fraternity, you would like to have as your slave? (Or as your Dom?) FM: Well I would not like to be judgmental here. It’s too early for me. SK: Any advice for the Indian kinkster fraternity out there? FM: "Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards." Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in

your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover. And play safe. SK: Thank You, FantasyMate. It was a pleasure. FM: You’re welcome.

RIK Munches We decided to bring you the activities that we all make sure to take some out for, when we’re leading our vanilla lifestyles. Asmi_alone brings you the dirty low-down on the Munches for the month of February. We at RIK, do not believe in on-line only activity, though definitely we do appreciate and understand the people who wish to keep it only on-line. However, those of us, who are interested in interacting and socializing with other kinksters and like-minded people, we organize munches, every month. Whilst the official munches are posted and organized only for the validated members in a discreet and safe fashion, our members often tend to meet each other while traveling in other towns/cities on an unofficial basis, where in the safety issues are addressed only by the parties involved.

Munch on this 1 In the month of February, two munches were organized, in place of our regular three, in Delhi and Mumbai, as the Community members in Kolkata were pretty busy. Here are the brief reports: Delhi: Date: 21-feb-10 Total Attendance: 8 4 Doms, 2 subs, 2 Switches Munch newbie’s: 2 The members started with some interesting discussions about bedroom bottoms, resistance play, poly subs i.e. subs that have two Doms/Masters at the same time etc. Our members had a lot of fun discussing these subjects and many more with fun, controversy and of course some heat.

As fun as babies taking a bubble bath! After this, some members left according to their preferences, whilst others proceeded to the unofficial hang out. RIK is not, just a community, but more of a family. So, members travel from close by and far to attend munches. Those who can’t, try being their in spirit at least. For more, about this munch, You can read: Mumbai: 25th March Total Attendance: 15 6 Doms, 1 switch, 8 subs Munch newbie’s: 6

A lot was discussed, a lot was not discussed. Here’s a look of what was discussed; Safety with regards to privacy and issues faced in earlier munches back in yahoo days. Second in line was the gate-crashing incident by a journalist and the subsequent newspaper article and fallout of the ‘initial’ group. Some not so serious topics discussed, topics on the lines -Nose piercing and their techniques, and after care, availability of toys in south Mumbai.

We avoid obscene piercings, kinky yes! Other topics discussed were fixing a day of the month as the Munch Day and whether the venue should be changed. It was thought that such a practice with time will become unsafe and so rejected. Some proposals which were discussed were; holding a munch in Pune for our fellow kinksters there. The Mumbai crowd did volunteer to visit the satellite city. Another proposal for a weekend fun at a

farmhouse, the farmhouse option was considered for a play party; however, it was felt that the group is not yet ready for the same. To read more about the experience of munch virgins find them at: If you would like to be a part of these wonderful events, to make friends, to find like minded people and much more, you can find us at:

RIK Threads Reports RIK is a group of members who are all living their lives in harmony with their lifestyles. Not just online, but also offline. However, we do contribute our experiences; share our knowledge, learning’s, journey online on board. The Veterans and Experts share their immense expertise about various subjects. They help us know the legal aspects, the medical advice and also tips for keeping relationships alive for long durations. Whilst we do have discussion board that allows us open discussion as well as advise seeking, we also have a separate sub-group for light – hearted and non-kinky discussions and of course, not to forget, a separate women’s group for female kinksters You can find us here: The RIK women’s group We’ve always believed in making the fairer sex more comfortable, this is our effort – started and run by two of the oldest members of Fetlife. You could join here: However, before you do, please go through the rules of the group. Moving on, here are some interesting excerpts from our on-board activity: Laws in India regarding Alternative Lifestyles/Sexualities: This thread was started by one of our senior members, who has been one of the pioneers of organizing munches in Indian History. All the members could post their legal queries and Our Legal expert answered them in detail with proper examples and answers. Some of the important questions addressed were:  How much of what we do online (talk/post pictures/spread information etc) is really against the law?  Can an access to BDSM/kink related profiles/emails by hacking an individual’s password as an evidence of bad character permissible/considered/valid in courts? And of course how does one protect oneself against such blackmail/ill use?

 I'm curious as to the laws regarding pro-dommes and if it's considered prostitution there. Any known cases of such?  Can we import sex toys vibrators, dildos etc??

To find out answers to these questions and many more like these; To find answers to any questions that You might have, apart from those already asked there, please feel free to reach us at: What's in a name? This is a thread started by one of our members as an effort to know the thought we put into O/our nicknames on Fetlife. And it was received with a lot of enthusiasm. This would let you know how our members reached the stage of their lives where they could choose a certain name. This also shows how much thought do we put in to accommodate our kinky selves and the non kinky aspects all in one. Of course, to be able to share yours, you’ll first have to join us. This is where we are: How to initiate: It’s not that, those who are known as Veterans haven’t had their moments of doubt, of confusion, of apprehension, fear, anxiety and questions. They’ve had their share of worries about being discovered, wondering, if they were even INTO lifestyle and apprehensions of coming to RIK and accepting and embracing their true selves. A validated member had started this thread way back, when He was still embracing self, and it was those who were living the lifestyle then, who had shared their experiences, efforts and overcoming techniques. This thread is one source of inspiration and assurance to those who are still doubtful, apprehensive, scared and unsure of their true selves. What’s the difference?? This is a thread which has been started by one of our experienced members to discuss the various terms as they are used in general. The comparatively new members asked and clarified their doubts, while the more experienced ones shared what they know. However, you’ll find some flavor and strong spices here, while our members bring different prospective to the table. This would include those that define differently and even those who do not believe in definitions to begin with. And beware!!! Some spices may be burning and you might need to swallow some water… (Water sports!!!) So, find the spicy sizzler here: Leaders and Followers

Opposed to the popular myths that only Doms can train Doms/subs, we at RIK believe that knowledge is a process. It is both non-ending and irrespective of orientations. This thread is a sample of a short, simple but a wonderful thread. Feel free to read, and realize what true mentorship, leading and following are about. You could add or just take the educative trip here:

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