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“You’ve never missed any of the women you were involved with previously?” “No.” “So there was something different about her,” he prompts. I shrug, but he persists. “Did you have a contractual relationship with her? Was she a submissive?” “I’d hoped she would be. But it wasn’t for her.” Flynn frowns. “I don’t understand.” “I broke one of my rules. I chased this girl, thinking that she’d be interested, and it turned out it wasn’t for her.” “Tell me what happened.” The floodgates open and I recount the past month’s events, from the moment Ana fell into my office to when she left last Saturday morning. “I see. You’ve certainly packed a lot in since we last spoke.” He rubs his chin as he studies me. “There are many issues here, Christian. But right now the one I want to focus on is how you felt when she said she loved you.” I inhale sharply, my gut tightening with fear. “Horrified,” I whisper. “Of course you did.” He shakes his head. “You’re not the monster you think you are. You’re more than worthy of affection, Christian. You know that. I’ve told you often enough. It’s only in your mind that you’re not.” I give him a level gaze, ignoring his platitude. “And how do you feel now?” he asks. Lost. I feel lost. “I miss her. I want to see her.” I’m in the confessional once more, owning up to my sins: the dark, dark need that I have for her, as if she were an addiction. “So in spite of the fact that, as you perceive it, she couldn’t fulfill your needs, you miss her?” “Yes. It’s not just my perception, John. She can’t be what I want her to be, and I can’t be what she wants me to be.” “Are you sure?” “She walked out.” “She walked out because you belted her. If she doesn’t share your tastes, can you blame her?” “No.” “Have you thought about trying a relationship her way?” What? I stare at him, shocked. He continues, “Did you find sexual relations with her satisfying?” “Yes, of course,” I snap, irritated. He ignores my tone. “Did you find beating her satisfying?” “Very.” “Would you like to do it again?”

E l james grey  

Fifty Shades of Grey