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Champaign-Urbana’s community magazine FREE

w eekly

week of december 8, 2011


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DECEMBER 8, 2011

w eekly



One night at Merry Ann’s



Coming soon to Mike ‘N Molly’s



Local photographer Valerie Oliveiro



Reviewing the local bar and restaurant

GIFT GUIDE 4 ON READBUZZ.COM COMMUNITY Karolina explores the label ‘hipster’ and what it means in this week’s You-nique column, online this Tuesday.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Check out book reviews and other awesome stories on the Arts page of! You’ll love it. It will change your life.

THIS WEEKEND on Champaign’s Alternative

WPGU 107.1 FRI

Get energized for the

MUSIC What’s better than free? The best of the free! Check out our playlist this week to see top picks from Adult Swim’s free albums.

FOOD & DRINK Finals time, buh! If you find yourself needing a method of procrastination, try some shots! Drinking is better than studying, anyway. Check on Karen’s column, online Saturday!


weekend with The Red Bull Music Academy at 10pm! Check out for


music news, interviews, upcoming concerts, and more! Get all the info you need on


local artists and local music news on Loud and Local at 9pm with Tommy Stopka!

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buzz is telling you about Christmas Cheer Cinema all December. First up is Nick’s review of Olive the Other Reindeer, a little-loved, but totally awesome cartoon starring Drew Barrymore. Check it out Saturday! 2




Your guide to this week’s events in CU


It’s around this time of year that I usually start asking the big questions like: are we just big bags of blood filling in circles on a four-inch strip of paper? As big bags of blood, what do these circles mean to us? Why do we subject ourselves to such a practice? Deep. I don’t like tests. As an English and Creative Writing major, my classes are usually designed to facilitate this preference; however, according to the rules (the man), I must take classes that don’t pertain to reading and the imagination. Apparently, big brother sees it important for me to learn “practical” things. I wouldn’t be so beat up about it if the university’s focus (or at least the classes I seem to take) wasn’t to shove as much information onto PowerPoint as possible then ask me to recite it via fifty multiple choice questions. As I said, these are not my interests; but put some heart into it, guys. If the goal is to learn then shouldn’t I at least be thinking? A big problem is that education hasn’t yet adjusted to an age where Wikipedia exists. As practicality goes, none of the gen ed classes I sat through had a textbook or lectures that held a candle to the information I found on the event or topic’s Wikipedia page. You may be thinking that I am missing the point of these classes. To which I say: precisely! The information doesn’t interest me! I get through the classes and homework as quick as possible in order to fantasize about how cool I think Wonder Woman is. Yes, the weather is interesting, but I don’t care about what winds form cold fronts and thunderstorms. Even in an apocalypse (side note: I consider what I learn in gen eds as being “in case there is an apocalypse and I need to survive” knowledge) I wouldn’t need to know that. And in the situation where I DID need to know that information, I would need a satellite readout to figure it out, something not commonly found in an apocalypse. I know these are the usual complaints about state schools, but come on. All I want to do is read and write, and for anything beyond that, there are Wikipedia and Google to help me figure it out. So please, stick to teaching me how to play make believe; it’s better for everyone.   december 8 - 14, 2011

Babble me baby.








finals guide by Avani Chhaya

buzz staff

Cover Design  Tyler Schmidt Editor in Chief  Dylan Sutcliff Managing Editor Peggy Fioretti Art Director Olivia La Faire Copy Chief  Drew Hatcher Photography Editor  Sean O’Connor Image Editor  Peggy Fioretti Photographers  Sean O’Connor Designers  Lucas Albrecht, Michael Zhang, Tyler Schmidt Music Editor  Adam Barnett Food & Drink Editor  Samantha Bakall Movies & tv Editor  Nick Martin Arts & entertainment Editor  Tracy Woodley Community Editor  Amy Harwath CU Calendar Joyce Famakinwa Copy Editors  Sarah Alo, Casey McCoy online editor Emily Siner Distribution  Brandi and Steve Wills EDITORIAL ADVISER  Marissa Monson Publisher  Lilyan J. Levant


My avid buzz readers, I would scold you for not studying in the library until the wee hours of the morning, for not keeping up with the course’s reading, and for waiting until the last possible minute to write that 15-page paper. I would scold you, but I am not your mother. Let’s be real. You feel overwhelmed — utterly screwed and close to sleep deprivation. I feel ya. Trust me, sleepy college student, you will get through this. Here are some snazzy studying tips to keep your sanity: » Don’t overdo it on the caffeine. Did I say do not drink that black, tar-like substance? Never. Brew that pot of coffee and gulp away so you can stay awake to finish that last paragraph or to memorize the final amino acid. Going overboard will keep you wired beyond normal human functioning (which may or may not be a good thing). So know your limits, coffee connoisseur, before you start bouncing off the walls. » Power naps to the rescue! Face it: you need a little bit of sleep to stay relatively sane during your final exam because falling asleep/possibly drooling on that exam is simply not acceptable. Sleep at 2 a.m. and set five phone alarms for 5 a.m. to get in three hours of passed-out-due-to-exhaustion sleep. » Munch, munch, munch on those snacks. Whether they’re the smiley Goldfish crackers or insanely delicious Wheat Thins, keep snacking to keep you awake and fed. Nothing is worse than a hungry belly as you sit down to study. Fruits and veggies should be included here, but your body is desperately craving those fatty foods. Go for it. Final exams can be your excuse for your poor eating habits, and that excuse only flies in college.

On the Web Email Write  512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 CALL  217.337.3801

We reserve the right to edit submissions. buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. buzz Magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. © Illini Media Company 2011

» My Tiny Stuffed Dog Wearing a Hat and Coat: My ex-girlfriend Sam gave me a small pup she found in a box of Chinese cookies. It wears an orange coat and a blue hat (with a small bow, letting you know it’s a girl or a boy challenging heteronormativity). You can take the jacket off if you want, but it’s hard to get it back on. » My Dr. Venture Action Figure: Recently, I saw a very lonely Dr. Venture figurine sitting in the clearance bin of my favorite comic shop (Amazing Fantasy Books in Frankfort, IL). The toy literally doesn’t do anything; it just looks like Rusty Venture. But, through an elaborate turn of events that right now I don’t have space to explain, The Venture Brothers helped me identify a peculiar testicle condition (google it: testicular torsion) and saved my future children. » My Homer Simpson Bobblehead and Krusty the Clown Doll: I got the bobblehead at Target (boring, but I still like it). Krusty was won in a Denny’s claw machine by my best friend Matt Butterfield. It takes roughly $3 to win something from a claw machine (if it’s on top), and Matt knows I like The Simpsons, so we pooled our quarters and he won it for me. Right now, it’s wearing a Bumblebee Transformer 3-D glasses mask Hasbro sent buzz for Transformers 3. I reviewed the movie less than favorably, but they were cool about it. » A Bottle of Wine Given to Me by the Guitarist from Mission of Burma: I interviewed Roger Miller for Ebertfest last year. There was no reason to run the interview after the festival (don’t worry — I’ll run it this March), but Mr. Miller gave me a bottle of wine. I don’t like wine, but I do like Mission of Burma, so I kept it as a conversation piece.




» Limited Space Travel Technology: I’ve never been a person who has asked for much out of life. Sure, a bed and food on the table would be nice — maybe a nice pair of slacks. However, the one honest passion I’ve always had since I was a young boy was to be a spaceman. And yet, I probably won’t live to see the day where it’s economically or socially practical to go to space on holiday. Think about it. Outer space would be unfucking-real. Did you know that the universe is always expanding into infinity? It real makes no fucking sense when you think about it, but it turns out that Space expands, creating new Space and then occupying it with Space. And it’s been doing that at an unimaginable rate for the last 14 billion years, and it will keep doing it unfathomably longer along the axis of time, and I WILL NEVER SEE IT. We need to at least hold Spielberg accountable for those hoverboards we were promised in 2015. buzz   


a one-night stand with merry ann’s A literary-noir time lapse through a night at the CU late-night diner by Avani Chhaya


meander through the streets wrapped in a caramel-colored coat toward Merry Ann’s Diner on the vacant streets of Urbana. The neon lights of the local diner drew me in like a fly, but I was the predator instead of its victim. My mission for the night was clear: document the ins and outs of college students in this popular local hang-out. Getting myself out of my warm apartment was the first difficult feat. I shamefully admit that sleep was infecting my mind with drowsiness. I leave the apartment at 11:15 p.m. To be inconspicuous, I dragged along a friend who kept rambling nonsensical ideas from across the table while I scribbled away. Writing furious notes in a booth in the middle of the restaurant gives me a sore thumb, ruining the mystique of my mission. Arrive at Merry Ann’s at 11:32 p.m. The waitress, clad in a bright orange Illinois sweater, said the bar rush rolls in from 2 to 4 a.m., as a warning to move out of the way when drunken college students stampede their way into the diner. Across the black and white tile floor, I was witness to grotesque hygiene in action. A gray-shirted student sneezed onto the white table without shame or covering his nose. And I must add that this happened not once but twice. I cringed with disgust. I wanted to attack that table with sanitizing wipes and a gallon of 409, but I would inadvertently blow my cover, so I begrudgingly moved on and ignored it. Sneezy continued to display his low maturity level by putting a piece of hashbrown in his germ-infested hand and covered it with a mound

of ketchup. The ketchup made a ring around his lips and fell on one of his pant’s legs. His friend, a scrawny, plaid-shirted boy, was welcomed into the establishment warmly. “Oh no, the building’s going to fall in. Here comes Joe! How’ve you been?” the red-shirted, veteran waitress asked. He’s a regular, I presume. I look over to this booth, eyeing his relationship with the staff a bit enviously since I have always wanted to be considered a regular at a local hang-out. But befriending the likes of Sneezy is a poor decision even for you, plaid-shirted fella. Midnight approaches. With 50s advertisements plastered around the walls of the diner, a girl wearing too-tight tights strolls in with a black backpack, sitting at the farthest end of the restaurant. You haven’t come here to study, have you? Diagonally across the restaurant from my seat, she flirts with the shorter cook by fiddling with his baseball hat. A budding romance blossoms amidst the sizzling fries and the creamy milkshakes. He leans over the counter with a dimpled grin, smiling only at her. The restaurant suddenly empties around 12:37 a.m., creating a lull in customers. A series of drumming hands and sheepish smiles are exchanged to pass the 12:30 a.m. lull between myself and my friend. Sleep slowly takes over my wandering thoughts, as yawns drain my last reserve of energy. I did not imagine how difficult it would be to overhear conversation at the diner. The sizzling of the fryer muffles the voices, causing them to blur into one. I strain to decipher

holiday gift guide

The late night rush at Merry Ann’s in Urbana. Photo by Chrissy Ruiz

fragments of conversation, only failing miserably in the process. As a Rhianna song softly strums its way across the sound waves of the restaurant, two blondes with dark eye makeup and skinny jeans stroll in with what looked like matching life-size Ken dolls. I wish I was kidding. The clock strikes 1 a.m. in the wee early morning. A red-backpacked student in a navy blue zip-up buries his head in the menu. He looks as if he is battling loneliness, while we fight off the yawns. Does he have a case of the blues, or an incident of friendlessness? I look behind my shoulder at this poor kid, as he intently stares at the menu’s

contents. My first instinct is to well up with pity, but maybe this choice is intentional. The redbackpacked student may just be the type of guy who prefers to go to the movies by himself or grab a bite to eat alone. It’s ten minutes past the 1 a.m. mark. Whether it is a place of budding romance, or the last pit stop on Barbie’s night out on the town, Merry Ann’s caters to everyone and anyone. “Don’t be a stranger, for God’s sake,” the redshirted waitress says to the plaid-shirted boy. He leaves with a humble smile on his face, probably looking forward to his next visit to Merry Ann’s for a late-night snack and a friendly hello.

A quick and easy guide of gift ideas for everyone on your list!

by Karolina Zapal Giving gifts is great and is supposed to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But when the winter rush is under way and you find yourself close to the holidays without any gifts for the people on your list, panic can set in. Before you get to that point, buzz has got your back! Here’s a gift guide full of ideas for that special lady or man, sibling or parent in your life. Best friend - girl/sister A scarf from is like the thrift store of the internet. Scarves are the new Silly Bandz. ‘Nuff said. Listography journal by Lisa Nola. It’s a journal with list ideas on every page. Why it makes a good gift? Girls like to think. And keep strange things tucked under their beds. Best friend - guy/brother Polaroid camera. It’s a camera that instantly prints out pictures after they’re taken. It serves 4


a guy’s rapid-fire personality as well as his kaleidoscopic imagination. Three balls and a video on juggling. I have not met a guy who does not either already juggle or wants to learn. Trust me. He’ll pick them up all the time, especially if they’re like hacky sacks. Girlfriend Yoga pants. She’ll love wearing them just as much as you’ll love when she wears them. From a girl’s perspective, they are REALLY comfortable, like fuzzy socks right out of the drier. Gifts from A to Z. Get her little objects that start with every letter of the alphabet. For example, apple juice, barrette, chest (to store the gifts). She’ll be grateful for how much thought you put into the gift. Boyfriend Personalized voicemail. Get a hold of his phone, and change his voicemail message to a loud and

obnoxious message stating how hot and smart he is. He’ll appreciate the ego boost. Balloon messages. Place sweet messages in red and green balloons, blow them up, and then lead him to the pile with a pin in his hands. He’ll have fun popping the balloons as well as reading what you wrote. Mom Year subscription to her favorite magazine. A lot of moms love to read, especially when the readings are about healthy teas or fashion. And magazine subscriptions are usually under twenty dollars! Slippers. I don’t think it’s just my mom who is obsessed with wearing slippers on her feet. They keep them warm, and they’re the new fashion accessory in mom-ville. Dad Personalized license plate for his car. I’m sure every dad has been dying to get one of these but

for one reason or another has not. For greater sentimental effect, make the license plate an inside joke. A few lottery tickets. This is a different spin on “giving money” for Christmas. It’s like paying him back for all of the diapers he bought years ago, and who knows? Your gift might win him some big cash.

Used with permission from Jonas N and the Creative Commons   december 8 - 14, 2011

Take a chilling pill.

holiday traditions: Where do they come from? Learn the interesting origins of some cherished holiday customs and folklore

Plan the perfect date. Check out the calendar each week to find out what’s going on in town. Every Thursday in Buzz Online at

by Jessica Bourque


e all have our quirky holiday traditions (my family goes bowling the night before Thanksgiving), but there are some traditions that are universal. Menorahs, Christmas trees, presents, mistletoe — chances are you not only recognize each of those but also incorporate them into your holiday routine. But where did all of this stuff come from? Many of these traditions have become so habitual that we don’t really think about how they started.

chimneys. The real Saint Nick lived in Turkey in the 4th century and, much like the Saint Nick we all know and love, he was known for his extreme generosity. One of the most famous tales of his benevolence involves three daughters who were forced

Thanksgiving We all know the story: Thanksgiving began back in the 1600s with the Pilgrims and Indians. But is that all there is to know? Not even close. Turns out, Thanksgiving’s history is much more fascinating than Squanto and Plymouth Rock and begins as early as 1863. It was in this year that President Abraham Lincoln declared the last Thursday of November “a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.” Eventually, individual states began adopting the day of “Thanksgiving” as a national holiday.

Used with permission from A. Dobrow and the Creative Commons

into prostitution because they had no dowries. Saint Nick, aware of the girls’ situation, snuck past their house one night and threw three bags of gold coins into their window, enough for their dowries. This story is also rumored to be the inspiration behind hanging stockings — they were (allegedly) first hung so that Saint Nick would fill them with gold coins.

Reindeer What would Santa be without his reindeer? Little kids across the world listen for their hooves as a sign of Santa’s arrival. Oddly enough, this tradition didn’t begin until 1823 when “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” was writ-

Used with permission from Violette79 and the Creative Commons

It wasn’t until 1939, 76 years later, that Thanksgiving was moved to the second to last Thursday of November. The switch was fueled solely by capitalistic motives — the desire for a longer preChristmas shopping period to stimulate the depressed economy. President Franklin D. Roosevelt made the switch official, angering many officials and upsetting football schedules across the country. As a result, opponents of the switch used the term “Franksgiving” to refer to the new holiday.

Saint Nicholas Few people are as iconic and famous as jolly old Saint Nicholas; however, most of what you know about him is a lie. No, he didn’t’ live at the North Pole, and no, he didn’t wear a red suit and shimmy down

Used with permission from lilhelen and the Creative Common

ten. The poem told of eight magical reindeer that pulled Santa’s sleigh, a notion people hadn’t heard of before, and caused reindeer to become the most beloved Christmas creatures. Rudolph wasn’t added to the team until several years later when Montgomery Ward department store wrote a booklet about “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” They wrote the story in an attempt to save money — the store handed out coloring books each year for Christmas and thought creating their own book could cut back on costs. Little did they know Rudolph would become a staple in Christmas folklore. buzz   



Occupy Musicians The 99% can play music, too by Evan Lyman


ike most Americans, Judd Greenstein did not expect the Occupy Wall Street movement to sustain its initial impact. “I thought that it was going to be a one-time ... short little movement,” said Greenstein, Brooklyn-based indie classical composer and de facto head of the “Occupy Musicians” movement. Though it had been a while since Greenstein was especially active politically, he agreed to meet friend and fellow composer John Halle at an Occupy march in September, when the movement was still building in momentum and numbers. On that day, his decision to meet a friend for what he thought was a day of peaceful protest would change his entire outlook on the Occupation and its significance. When describing his first Occupy protest, Greenstein relayed his feelings of shock in the face of jarring animosity: “We were standing about fifteen feet behind these women who were the original pepper spray recipients. I didn’t even know that was happening because cops were shoving me in other directions ... it was a really violent scene. It seemed like a completely disproportionate reaction, and once those videos got out, it seemed like that’s what tilted the tide towards the Occupy movement really gathering steam and gaining attention.” After experiencing first-hand the backlash and violence towards protesters that has since been immortalized in footage from protests across the nation, including UC Davis, Greenstein understood the potential power behind Occupy Wall Street. He then began attending Occupy events and discussing policies, economics and social issues with like-minded individuals in ways that weren’t limited to conventional thinking or party politics. “When I saw the Occupy Writers movement had started, I thought, ‘Well, there needs to be an Occupy Musicians,’” he explained. “So I grabbed the URL before anybody could take it.” After acquiring the template for the already established Occupy Writers website and receiving e-mails from music writer Daphne Carr, Greenstein and Carr started working on the site. Occupy Musicians today bears the names of hundreds of musicians, including alternative music heroes Zack de la Rocha and Tom Morello (Rage Against the Machine), Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth) and even Lou Reed. As Greenstein intended, the website is a showing of solidarity, a sign that the greater majority of musicians have struggled through this economic climate in the same way that the (now famous) 99% have struggled. Musicians, just like the average participant, want solutions and explanations for the increasing gap between the rich and the poor. “When people think about musicians, they tend to picture the rock stars they know and the 6


famous celebrities,” Greenstein said. “But the vast majority of people who are musicians are really regular folks. If you decide to be a working musician, you’ve almost certainly resigned yourself to a life of, if not poverty, then low pay and irregular work.” In today’s music environment, even the most popular artists sell records at a fraction of the numbers they once did. The economic downturn, coupled with technological and cultural changes and compounded by both legal and illegal downloading, has made the notoriously risky music field as unstable as it has ever been. In the world of music, where creativity is at a surplus but money and power is spread thin amongst the elite, it makes perfect sense that the Occupy Musicians movement would be gaining the support and interest it has acquired. For the most part, Occupy Musicians is still in the early stages of development. Greenstein and his group of organizers have sent musicians as far as Occupy London in order to drum up support for the protests. In many ways, the Occupy Musicians website has provided an avenue for musicians of various backgrounds to unify their efforts and make a more significant impact. When someone sends an e-mail asking how to get involved, Greenstein can point them to local occupations and other related events in need of musical support. “If people are trying to make an album to draw attention to the movement, we can hook people up with each other,” Greenstein said. “People have offered studio time, and others have offered their expertise in various ways. I think that’s going to keep growing and developing as the movement expands.” Eventually, Greenstein hopes the website will help the conversations and ideas started by the Occupy Wall Street movement become part of our national dialogue as a whole. As music is one of the most powerful and resonant ways to convey sociopolitical ideas to the masses, Occupy Musicians hopes to use music as a way to get the greater public involved in the discussion and remove the stigma that may be associated with Occupy Wall Street thanks to its portrayal in the media. “You’ve done this because you’re somebody who believes in honesty and expression and putting what you feel out for the world to see,” Greenstein said. “These are people who are going to be drawn to a political movement that is all about open dialogue and the expression of things we’re not supposed to talk about.” One need not look further than the legends — the Bob Dylans, the John Lennons, the Bob Marleys, the Public Enemies — to know that true, great art is radical. This is the reason musicians have been so willing to identify with Occupy Wall Street protesters. Artists have always been ready to challenge societal conventions in order to induce social and political change.

Tom Morello at Occupy Wall Street. Used with permission from David Shankbone and the Creative Commons

Some notable artists in the movement (source: » Akil Talib (Jurassic 5) » Amanda Palmer (Dresden Dolls) » Amy Klein (Amy Klein & the Blue Star Band, Titus Andronicus) » The Avalanches » Chris Funk (Decemberists, Black Prairie) » Dan Deacon » Free Energy » The Glitch Mob » Jack E. Stanley (Cursed Arrows) » Jamie Stewart (Xiu Xiu) » Jeff Crosby (Jeff Crosby & The Refugees, Ladytramp) » Jello Biafra (Dead Kennedys) » John Sullivan (Kid Savant) » Josh Taylor (Foot Village, XBXRX) » Kimya Dawson

» Kliph Scurlock (The Flaming Lips) » Lee Ranaldo (Sonic Youth) » Liam Finn » Lou Reed » Merril Garbus (Tune-yards) » Mirah » Shara Worden (My Brightest Diamond) » Sharon Van Etten » Steve Shelley (Sonic Youth, Disappears) » Talib Kweli » Thao with the Get Down Stay Down » The Thermals » Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth) » Zack de la Rocha (Rage Against the Machine)   december 8 - 14, 2011

Sing for me and never stop.

Wake up for caroline smith and the goodnight sleeps “Post-folkers” play Mike ’N Molly’s Dec. 8 by Adam Barnett pon the release of Caroline Smith and the Good Night Sleeps’ debut Backyard Tent Set, Caroline Smith herself referred to the oft upbeat and heartwarming indie-folk as “storybook folk.” It’s apparent in the bouncing keyboard line in “Where Has Sally Gone” and the moving but driving force of single “Tying My Shoes,” but the band has definitely gone through a major change on record number two, Little Wind, released this past September. Now Smith says the band took more of a turn into “post-folk.” Little Wind is heavier, grabbing a lot of effects and definitelynot-acoustic tones while it still shows off Smith’s folk tendencies as a songwriter. “We all just grew up a little,” Smith said. “It had been three years since our last record, but also, we got to develop all of the songs together. The last record I had written everything, and they [the Good Night Sleeps] just kind of sat in and played accompanying parts because we had just started playing together. But on Little Wind, they really sat down and took a lot of time re-imagining the songs and working their Good Night Sleeps magic.” Composed of primary vocalist and songwriter Caroline Smith (guitar, banjo), drummer Arlen Peiffer (of Cloud Cult), bassist Jesse Schuster and multi-instrumentalist David Earl, Minnesota natives Caroline Smith and the Good Night Sleeps are going through the Midwest with a stop at CU’s Mike ’N Molly’s with support from their friends The Daredevil Christopher Wright. And I can say with confidence that the band loves its live shows. Not just from my experience with an incredibly solid set a couple summers ago at Green Music Fest, but from this quote right here: “We’re weird touring junkies; we live for this shit.” See? Smith loves touring. On the way here, the band also made a stop in Rock Island, home of the alleged Daytrotter, which means that we should expect a second Daytrotter Session sometime soon from the Good Night Sleeps.

“I always wait with such anticipation to see what picture they draw,” Smith said. Since Backyard Tent Set, Smith has expressed in previous interviews how important it is for the band to recreate the sounds of their recordings in a live setting, and vice-versa. And, at the beginning of the process she told AV Club that the band was still working on translating the new record to a live setting with the various effects needed to pull off such a feat. But after a couple months, Smith says they’ve got it down. “I think we have successfully overcome that problem,” Smith explained, “and I say that with the utmost enthusiasm because it was so fun. We hired ... a new member a few months after completing the record, and he’s an absolute whiz with pedals and tones. It really helped with recreating the record in our live show. Our live show will never sound exactly like our record without succumbing to a back track, but we’re really happy with our interpretation of it.”  But as mentioned earlier, the older tracks are very folky and much lighter with minimal effects. So will Backyard Tent Set oldies be altered on-stage in any way with this new sound? “Yes, of course, and naturally,” Smith answered. “We’ve grown a lot since all of those songs were written. I mean, I was 18 or 19 when all of those songs were written. And it’s a long time between being 18 and being 23; it feels like 20 years, and it might as well be with how much one develops in those years. We still recognize the goodness of those songs, and we still enjoy playing them, and we try to play them true to the recordings, but we can’t help but to spruce some parts up here and there.” Mixed by Tom Herbers (Andrew Bird, Dark Dark Dark), Little Wind was funded by public fundraising site Kickstarter, where someone can set a fundraising goal for a project, and participants can pledge a certain amount of money in exchange for a reward. In this case, anyone who donated money to the record was guaranteed anything

Used with permission from Caroline Smith and the Good Night Sleeps. Photo by Amanda Johnson.

from a digital copy of the record before the release date to a song written by the band about anything the donator wanted. According to Smith, the band ended up writing four songs: “One about a dog, one about outer space, one about a daughter, and one about a really important and defining moment in this man’s life that he wanted encapsulated. It was a really fun project.” What was the reason for the funding, though? Part of it was a drive to continue to be self-released in the same light as the band’s debut. Finding a label is a lot like finding your soul mate, after all. “We wanted to hold out until our Prince Charming came along,” Smith explained. “We feel better being able to own our records right now without owing anyone money or needing to buy them back. That might change someday. I mean, if Sub Pop came along or Polyvinyl, we’d choke out a slow but sure, ‘Yes, please...’ We have a great team of people, and we’ll reconfigure when a label comes along that can bring us to the next level, whatever that means.”  As for tour stories, Smith left us with this:



Mike ‘N Molly’s 105 N Market St, Champaign who: Caroline smith and the good-

night sleeps with daredevil christopher wright when: Thursday, december 8 @ 10 pm TICKETS: $7 age: 21+



“One time when we were in Wyoming playing in a town of about 500, we crossed paths with an old cowboy named Cotton Eyed Joe, due to the fact that he only had one eye. And he took us back to his estate ... on the river and let us hold and play with his pet bobcat. Story goes, he walked into the cave and took it off its mother’s tit. Her name is Taz. And when he’d want her to sit on one of our laps, he’d look her in the eye, slap one of our knees and bellow ‘Load up, Taz!’ Then he’d laugh and say, ‘That’s all the pussy you’re gettin’ tonight, son.’”



Saturday, December 10 PURE COUNTRY!

55 E. Main St. Champaign, IL

As seen on the hit NBC television show “America’s Got Talent” Iron Horse performed in the top 48 out of over 90,000 acts nationwide. Enjoy a great show and an experience you’ll NEVER FORGET!

$3 Dr. McGillicuddy $3 32oz “Loose TAP” Beer $7 32oz U-Call it Wells” buzz   


SHAKESPEARE LIVE AND UNCUT! Week of Fri, Dec. 9 through Thurs. Dec. 15, 2011

The Descendants (R) from a 35mm print Fri: (5:00), 7:30 PM | Sat: (2:30), (5:00), 7:30 PM Sun: (3:00), (5:30), 8:00 PM | Mon & Tue: 7:30 PM Wed: (5:00), 7:30 PM | Thu: 7:30 PM Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (R) 35mm print.

Don’t want to read complicated Elizabethan dramas? Just watch these movies instead!

Jules and Jim (NR) Subtitled; digital presentation

by Movies and TV Staff

Fri & Sat: 10:00 PM | Thu: 10:00 PM Sat: 12:00 Noon

Royal Opera House: Tosca (NR) Digital Presentation Sun: 12:00 Noon

Take the CUMTD Bus

126 W. Church St. Champaign

Nelson Beck

Certified Reflexologist rrTQB rrDFMM

Reflexology This card is good for $10 off first time appointments. Not valid with other promotions. 2nd Floor, 115 W. Main St, Urbana, IL 61801

SAVOY 16 217-355-3456

S. Neil St. (Rt. 45) at Curtis Rd.


et’s say you’re writing a final paper on Shakespeare. Are you going to waste two hours reading a complicated play about faeries or witches or transgressive challenges to gender normativity? Of course not! You’re going to get high and watch TV! Unfortunately, that doesn’t solve the problem: how do you finish the Shakespeare paper? Don’t read the book — watch a movie! Here are some of the strangest Shakespearian adaptations ever committed to film, as assembled by procrastinators who encourage corner-cutting (case and point: this introduction). Fun with Hamlet: Lots of stuffy academics say Shakespeare is the best English playwright of all time, and most of the same stuffy academics agree Hamlet was his best play. Granted: it’s no Superbad; however, it does complicate the multifaceted labyrinth that is man’s unconscious desire. Trivia fact: In 1989, Daniel Day Lewis played Hamlet in a London production of the play; a few days before the play’s run ended, Lewis was reported to have seen his father’s ghost on stage BUZZ during Act II. It scared him so profoundly that he THURSDAY hasn’t returned to the stage since. So Hamlet has DECEMBER 8 inspired a lot people to dosame a lotsize ofalways crazy things. corpof note...keep this and on Facebook


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11:15, 1:50, 4:10, 6:30, 8:50 FRI/SAT LS 11:10 ARTHUR CHRISTMAS (PG) 11:50, 2:35, 4:55, 7:15, 9:35 FRI/SAT LS 11:55 THE MUPPETS (PG) 11:00, 1:25, 3:55, 6:25, 8:55 FRI/SAT LS 11:25 S 3D HUGO (PG) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET 12:50, 3:35, 6:20, 9:05 FRI/SAT LS 11:50 S HUGO (PG) 11:05, 1:45, 4:25, 7:15, 10:00 TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN - PART 1 (PG-13) 11:00, 1:30, 4:05, 6:40, 9:15 FRI/SAT LS 11:50 S 3D HAPPY FEET TWO (PG) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET 4:45, 9:25 FRI/SAT LS 11:45 S HAPPY FEET TWO (PG) 11:45, 2:25, 7:10 JACK AND JILL (PG) 11:05, 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50 FRI/SAT LS 12:00 J. EDGAR (R) 12:45, 3:40, 6:35, 9:30 IMMORTALS (R) FRI, SUN-TH 11:40, 2:10, 4:40, 7:25, 9:55 SAT 7:25, 9:55 TOWER HEIST (PG-13) 11:35, 1:55, 4:15, 6:35, 9:00 FRI/SAT LS 11:20 S A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR CHRISTMAS (R) 7:20, 9:20 FRI/SAT LS 11:45 S PUSS IN BOOTS (PG) FRI-MON, WED-TH 12:35, 3:00, 5:10 TUE 12:35



Like Green and Hamlet, a retelling of the 1 XEggs 5.417 Bard’s tragedy told entirely in Dr. Seuss cou1/8th page plets. Or Let the Devil Wear Black, a 1999 drama that saves all the fatherly revenge but updates the 17th Century prose. Canada’s best Hamlet adaptation is Strange Brew. SCTV alums Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis set their Hamlet cult comedy classic in a beer factory. Even though children rarely realize it, The Lion King is also a Hamlet adaptation (Simba is Hamlet). Does that mean Simba’s apprehension toward attacking Scar proves that he’s crazy? Probably. Perhaps the strangest Hamlet “adaptation” (used loosely) is Hamlet 2, the ultra-vulgar sequel set in a high school drama department. Hamlet 2 was directed by a former Arrested Development director, and we argue it was critically misjudged at its release. It is the only movie on this list to make extensive use of time travel and scatological humor: what more could you want?! In any event, Hamlet adaptations prove that Shakespeare was on to something good. The magic found in the original stage play is clearly still there. As long as there are dads, patricide will always be compelling. Teen Scene Ten Things I Hate About You: In Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, Baptista Minola’s

Illustration by Jim Wallace

daughter Bianca is the subject of multiple admirers. Before marrying off Bianca, he wants to find a suitor for his older daughter Katherine. This presents a problem because Katherine’s strong-willed nature does not exactly make her wife material. Petruchio decides that Katherine is a challenge that he wants to take on. In 10 Things I Hate About You, the plot gets something of a facelift when set to the backdrop of a Seattle high school. Kat (Julia Stiles) is a fierce feminist and social pariah at her high school, and Patrick (Heath Ledger) is a rebellious wildcard that discovers something other than Kat’s mean side. Since this is high school and not the world of Shakespeare, the stakes are lower. So instead of marriage, we are talking about prom dates. O: Perhaps what Shakespeare is best at is creating epic conflicts wherein various strands of characters are forced to confront each other. Sounds a lot like high school basketball, right? No? Well, it did to the directors of the 2001 Shakespearean adaptation O. Based on the Bard’s play Othello, this movie is about high school jealousies, rivalries and first love. When everything turns deadly (as it seems to always do in all things Shakespeare), the film delves quickly into the ridiculous and contrived. At the very least, it still packs a few jolts with which those not familiar with the original text may be left pleasantly surprised.

Fan Fiction Shakespeare in Love: Tom Stoppard pays homage to William Shakespeare again with the 1998 film Shakespeare in Love, the screenplay for which he co-wrote. This movie concerns the play Romeo and Juliet, but it also follows a fictional story of Shakespeare’s experiences while writing and performing the play. This debonair, acerbic and very handsome version of the Bard is played by a young Joseph Fiennes, who turns the world’s paramount playwright into an emotionally volatile yet charming character. It is 1593, and the starving writer Shakespeare is working on a comedy titled Romeo and Ethel, the Pirate’s Daughter. After he gets his heart broken by a girlfriend, he changes the story to a tragedy named Romeo and Juliet. He begins auditions for the role and meets a brilliant actor named Thomas Kent who turns out to be a woman in disguise. One thing leads to another, and Shakespeare falls in love with the lady, played by Gwyneth Paltrow. The film is primarily a romance, but thanks to its solid script and impressive cast (featuring Judi Dench, Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush), the film avoids predictability and instead engrosses viewers with its alternate telling of Shakespeare’s life. Shakespeare in Love is a witty, sharp period film that lightens up the personality of good old Will Shakespeare and presents the timeless Romeo and Juliet in a fresh new light.




the art of palindromes

december 8 - 14, 2011

William Gillespie pioneers experimental literature in the C-U

by David Ball


iberated by constraint: At first it sounds like an oxymoron, but Champaign-Urbana’s William Gillespie knows the value of artistic constraint. In the art world, “freedom of expression” can sometimes translate to “freedom of stylistic imitation.” Imitating predecessors and contemporaries is inevitable if the artist intends to contribute to a specific tradition or movement, but Gillespie knows that over-absorption of any influence can saturate the work of an artist with redundancies, or worse, — cringe-worthy clichés. On February 20, 2002 (20-02-2002 in European notation), Gillespie launched Spineless Books, “an independent small press dedicated to the production and distribution of innovative literature, with an emphasis on collaborative writing, formal experimentation and utopian thought,” according to the Spineless Books website. The launch coincided with the release of his collaboratively authored, narrative palindrome 2002: A Palindrome Story in 2002 Words. Written by Gillespie and Nick Montfort with illustrations by Shelley Jackson, 2002 is “the longest literary palindrome in the history of the planet, according to some very well-informed sources,” says Spineless Books’ Secretary of the Board of Directors, Dirk Stratton. If you are asking yourself, “What the hell is a palindrome?”, just take a look at the numbers: 2002-2002. Read them forwards. Then backwards. Now imagine a story where literally every single one of the 1,001 letters (and digits) composing the narrative’s first half are mirrored in the second half comprising a single narrative, with variation allowed only in punctuation and word-dividing spaces. Talk about artistic constraint. Gillespie graduated from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign in 1990 with a degree in Creative Writing, but he has been writing fiction

for most of his life; He self-published a single copy of his earliest collection of short stories entitled 3 Great Stories when he was in 3rd grade, complete with his own illustrations. His mentor, Philip Graham, a Creative Writing professor here at UIUC, remembers William walking into class the day his 12-page story was due and handing out a 70-page manuscript to his classmates for peer-critique. Yeah, he was that kind of student. So why would a writer with so much experience choose a form so restricting that it would make most writers feels claustrophobic? Gillespie admits there is a certain “geeky” aspect to it: a word game challenge in which all of the words are chosen by the author, or in this case, authors. But he also describes it as a kind of “Olympics in which very few people are participating.” Currently. Though Spineless Books was officially launched as an independent small press on 20-02-2002, Stratton recalls having encountered Gillespie’s DIY productions as early as 1997, “printed via photocopier and bound with staples,” bearing the Spineless namesake. After graduating from UIUC and taking some time off to wait tables and hone his writing craft, Gillespie enrolled in the Master’s Fiction Writing program at Illinois State University and attended classes with Urbana native and author of one of Time Magazine’s “100 Best English-Language Novels from 1923 to 2005,” David Foster Wallace. Gillespie described Wallace as an expert grammarian, one who “you’d be relieved was around to proofread your work when a deadline was coming up.” With a Master of Science in Fiction Writing from ISU, Gillespie headed to Brown University, where he earned an MFA in the University’s Electronic Writing Program. It was during his stay at Brown under the tutelage of author Robert Coover that Gillespie collaborated with three other authors

Katrina revisited

Used with permission from Kate Ter Haar and the Creative Commons

(one of whom was Dirk Stratton) on the awardwinning hypertext novel The Unknown, which can be read in its entirety at But do not be confused by the name Spineless Books: in addition to the literally spineless, staplebound DIY productions, the name refers to the company’s lack of institutional or structural spine, which gives its founder complete freedom to print the experimental work that he finds most exciting. The Unknown is the only work of Gillespie’s that can be read entirely online, though every Spineless Book contains some kind of online component. As Stratton says, “We like books you can hold in your hands, books made of paper.” All of the company’s books are thus printed in hard copy and available for purchase at

Outside of his work with Spineless Books, Gillespie works at UIUC as the Communications Coordinator in the School of Molecular and Cellular Biology. On Monday nights from 8-10 p.m. he co-hosts a radio show, Rock Geek FM, on WEFT 90.1 with his wife, Christy Scoggins. Gillespie’s most recent work, Keyhole Factory, is an experimental novel that uses innovative text formatting. It was recently picked up by Soft Skull Press and will be available in Fall 2012. Until then, check out for more from Champaign-Urbana’s own independent small press. And keep your eyes peeled for William Gillespie’s name, just in case Philip Graham was correct in his prediction: “I think the world is finally ready for William Gillespie.”

A local photographer explores the other side of the destruction

by Krizia Vance


ears later, during the calm after the storm, local photographer Valerie Oliveiro presents Hurricane Katrina’s devastation in a new light with her photography exhibition entitled “Waveland: A Meditation.” The feeling one gets from looking at Oliveiro’s photographs of the quietness and calmness of Katrina’s ground zero is contrary to the emotions felt after looking at the usual photographs of destruction and despair. “I decided to go a different route and create a different feeling about it, one where it’s quiet and peaceful,” Oliveiro said. “It’s a bit haunting, and the emotionality is still there — it’s just a different perspective ... I try and do that as a counterpoint to what such photos can actually evoke.” The photographs offer meditations on the idea of land organization and usage, she said. They document Oliveiro’s four visits to Wave-

land, Mississippi between June 2010 and June 2011. Oliveiro focuses on the land; driving down the road in Waveland, one sees deserted lots with slabs of concrete between homes in a continuous pattern, she said. “What was interesting to me after ... looking at most of this little town was what Mother Nature had done: stripped away a lot of the things that we are familiar with in terms of a suburb or a community,” Oliveiro said. After the destruction, it was easier to see how humans had organized the land. The photos show remnants of a once-thriving community — telephones poles, fire hydrants, sewage pipes. Oliveiro said she originally wanted to focus on Grand Isle, Louisiana for her photography, but on her way there, she heard about Waveland, Mississippi, one of the towns along the Mississippi that Hurricane Katrina hit hardest.

“There was basically devastation from the beach to a mile inland — there was nothing left,” she said. The media coverage of this small town of 6,000 people was basically nonexistent because of the spotlight placed on New Orleans, Oliveiro said. As time goes on, Waveland continues to rebuild itself, although much still needs to be done. Homes are now being built 20 to 30 feet above the ground due the hurricane’s 26-foot swell. “Hurricane Katrina...offered the worst kind of cultural devastation in recent history because it took these really great big homes or historical landmarks and just wiped them out,” she said. “What you indirectly address are ideas of identity and what kind of physical landscape you connect your identity to.” The exhibit, Waveland: A Meditation, is showing at the Murphy Gallery in the YMCA through December 23.

Used with permission from Valerie Oliveiro






Christmas Cookies

It’s the most wonderful bite of the year!

by Annalisa Rodriguez


he holidays are a time to spend with family and friends, and traditions are often a sacred and cherished part of the holiday season. During the holidays, many of these traditions revolve around food — whether they involve preparing food or enjoying it. One common tradition during the holidays is to bake cookies with family and friends. It’s no secret that eating warm cookies fresh from the oven with a cold glass of milk can put you in the holiday spirit, especially because there are many cookies that are made specifically for the winter holidays. During high school, in the weeks prior to Christmas, my friends and I loved to do things to get ourselves excited and in the holiday spirit. We would decorate and watch Christmas movies, but our favorite activity was always baking cookies, specifically snickerdoodle cookies and sugar cookies that we would cut into the shapes of Christmas trees and snowmen and top with frosting and sprinkles. Baking holiday cookies always put me in the Christmas spirit and was a relaxing, comforting way to spend a night. Baking and decorating cookies was a fun way to start the holiday break and relieve stress after weeks of studying. Above all, it was a time to spend with friends I cared about that always ended in us sitting around the table talking, gossiping and laughing while eating leftover cookie dough. If you want to create your own holiday memories with friends or family, try these cookie recipes that my friends and I always enjoyed.

Snickerdoodles Prep time: 15 minutes Cook time: 10 minutes Ingredients » 1 cup shortening » 1 1/2 cups white sugar » 2 eggs » 2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour » 1 teaspoon baking soda » 2 teaspoons cream of tartar » 1/2 teaspoon salt » 2 tablespoons white sugar » 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon Directions 1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). 2. In a medium bowl, cream together the shortening and 1 1/2 cups sugar. Stir in the eggs. Sift together the flour, baking soda, cream of tartar and salt; stir into the creamed mixture until well-blended. In a small bowl, stir together the 2 tablespoons of sugar and the cinnamon. Roll the dough into walnut-sized balls, and then roll the balls in the cinnamon-sugar mixture. Place them on to a cookie sheet, two inches apart. 3. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven. Edges should be slightly brown. Remove from sheets to cool on wire racks. Yields 3 dozen cookies Sugar Cookies Prep time: 25-30 minutes Cook time: 8-10 minutes

Review of Dublin o’Neil’s

Photo by Peggy Fioretti

Ingredients » 2 cups white sugar » 1 teaspoon vanilla extract » 1 cup butter » 1 teaspoon cream of tartar » 1 cup vegetable oil » 1 teaspoon baking soda » 2 eggs » 4 cups all-purpose flour » 1 teaspoon salt Directions 1. In a large bowl, mix oil, butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla until creamy.

2. Mix together cream of tartar, baking soda, flour and salt. Add these dry ingredients to the creamed mixture. Chill dough for 15 to 20 minutes. 3. Roll dough into balls, and place on greased cookie sheets. Press balls with a glass dipped in sugar to flatten. 4. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 8 to 10 min. My friends and I then loved to cut the cookies into Christmas shapes, cover them with vanilla or cream cheese frosting and top them with sprinkles. Yields 9 dozen cookies Recipes from

A touch of Ireland in downtown Champaign

by Julie Homerding If your friends are anything like mine, we can’t get enough of the Irish culture ­— and celebrating during March for Unofficial and St. Patrick’s Day just isn’t enough sometimes. Luckily for us, we can head to Dublin O’Neil’s, a new restaurant and pub located at 301 N. Neil St. in downtown Champaign to get a taste of Ireland all year round. Dublin O’Neil’s offers its customers many traditional Irish dishes for lunch and dinner with brunch on Sundays. Server Katie Howard enjoys the uniqueness to the food the most. “All of the food has a twist to traditional Irish food,” Howard said. “A lot of things are spicy, where traditional food is a little bland.” During my first (and certainly not last) visit to Dublin O’Neil’s, I ordered The Pub Corned Beef and Cabbage. It starts with corned beef with honey mustard glaze and sweet and sour 10


cabbage, moves on to kale mashed potatoes and finishes with a horseradish cream sauce. The corned beef definitely tasted different than the corned beef my mom and aunts make, but it was very delicious. It was fresh and also not very chewy, which is a plus when it comes to finding a good corned beef. The menu states that the beef is 100 percent grass-fed and sourced from local farms. The sweet and sour cabbage has a great flair to the traditional cabbage most people are familiar with. It had a very balanced taste, not too bitter and not too sweet. Even the horseradish sauce was one of the best I’ve tried. For dessert, I had a bite of three different dishes. The Apple and Jameson Crumble was a crumbled apple pie topped with oats, almonds and a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream. The crumble tasted like a traditional apple pie. I also tried the Guinness Flourless Chocolate Stout

Cake. It was a mouthful of fudge (due to no flour) and can fix anyone’s chocolate craving. The Drunken Bread and Butter Pudding was served with caramelized bananas and a caramel sauce that truly topped off my meal. This was also served with the vanilla bean ice cream, which was more of a gelato and had a fabulous flavor. Howard said that Dublin O’Neil’s is all about being the pub with 25 different Irish whiskeys on tap, but it’s also very food-driven. Walk-ins are welcome, and takeout is also offered. The restaurant is a traditional Irish pub with Irish tunes playing in the background, perfect for a group dinner or a cocktail hour with some appetizers on the side. I can honestly say I left Dublin O’Neil’s with a full, happy stomach. The prices were not too expensive for a restaurant in downtown Champaign; and with a menu filled with traditional Irish meals, it’s a deal you can’t beat.

Dublin O'Neils, Champaign,IL. Photo by Animah Boakye


DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

HOMEMADE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES Now you can feel guilty about eating the entire batch! by Julie Homerding


ith the holiday winter season heading our way, there is holiday cheer and treats of all kinds for everyone to enjoy. That’s one of the best parts about the holidays: food. With families and friends making all kinds of cookies and candies, it is hard to curb our appetites and say no to all the delectable treats. Once the holidays are over and our winter blues really set in, there is unfortunately not much to look forward to other than the hopeless dreams of a snowday, right? Wrong. Fear not, for the Girl Scout cookie season is in full force come January. What’s even better than original Girl Scout Cookies is your own rendition of them right in your very home. (They could even make for a great holiday treat!) » Peanut Butter Patties, also known as Tagalongs, are my favorite Girl Scout Cookie. Here’s how to make them at home. Recipe from Ingredients: Cookies: 1 cup butter (room temperature), 1/2 cup sugar, 2 cups all purpose flour, 1/4 tsp baking powder, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp vanilla extract, 2 tbsp milk Filling: 1 1/2 cups creamy peanut butter, 3/4 cup confectioners’ sugar, Pinch of salt, 1/2 tsp vanilla extract Coating: 8 oz. semisweet chocolate chips, 2 oz cocoa butter OR 1 tbsp vegetable oil Directions: Preheat oven to 350 F. 1. In a large mixing bowl, combine butter and sugar. Mix in flour, baking powder and salt at a low speed, followed by the vanilla and milk. 2. Take a tablespoon full of dough and flatten it into a disc about 1/4-inch thick. Place on a parchment-lined baking sheet and repeat with remaining dough. Cookies will not spread too much, so you can arrange them fairly closely together. 3. Bake cookies for 11-13 minutes, until bottoms and the edges are lightly browned and cookies are set. 4. Immediately after removing cookies from the oven, use your thumb or a small spoon to make a depression in the center of each cookie. Cool for a few minutes on the baking sheet, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Filling Directions: 1. Whisk together peanut butter, confectioners’ sugar, salt and vanilla in a small microwave-safe bowl. 2. When the mixture has come together, heat it in the microwave (in short intervals, stirring frequently) until it is soft.

Used with permission form the Creative Commons.

3. Working carefully with the warm filling, transfer it to a pastry bag (or plastic bag with the tip cut off) and fill in each depression in the cookies. Chill filled cookies for 20-30 minutes, or until the peanut butter is firm. Melt the chocolate and cocoa butter in a small, heat-resistant bowl placed over a small saucepan filled with simmering (not boiling) water. Dip chilled cookies into chocolate, let excess drip off, and place on a sheet of parchment paper to set.

out between pieces of wax paper to about 1/4-inch thickness (or slightly less) and use a 1 1/2-inch cookie cutter to make rounds. Place on a parchment lined baking sheet and use a knife, or the end of a wide straw, to cut a smaller center hole. Repeat with remaining dough. 3. Bake cookies for 10-12 minutes, until bottoms are lightly browned. If using a mini donut pan, bake for only about 10 minutes, until edges are light gold. Cool for a few minutes on the baking sheet. Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

» Caramel deLites or Samoas are my second favorite Girl Scout Cookie. Below is a homemade recipe from

Directions for Topping:

Ingredients: Cookies: 1 cup butter (soft), 1/2 cup sugar, 2 cups all-purpose flour, 1/4 tsp baking powder, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp vanilla extract, 2 tbsp milk Topping: 3 cups shredded coconut (sweetened or unsweetened), 12 oz good-quality chewy caramels, 1/4 tsp salt, 3 tbsp milk, 8 oz dark or semisweet chocolate (chocolate chips are okay) Directions: Preheat oven to 350 F. 1. In a large mixing bowl, cream together butter and sugar. Mix in flour, baking powder and salt at a low speed, followed by the vanilla and milk, adding in the milk as needed to make the dough come together without being sticky (it’s possible you might not need to add milk at all). The dough should come together into a soft, not-too-sticky ball. Add in a bit of extra flour if your dough is very sticky. 2. Roll the dough (working in two or three batches)

1. Preheat oven to 300 F. Spread coconut evenly on a parchment-lined baking sheet (preferably one with sides) and toast 20 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes, until coconut is golden. Cool on baking sheet, stirring occasionally. Set aside. 2. Unwrap the caramels, and place in a large microwave-safe bowl with milk and salt. Cook on high for 3-4 minutes, stopping to stir a few times to help the caramel melt. When smooth, fold in toasted coconut with a spatula. 3. Using the spatula or a small offset spatula, spread topping on cooled cookies, using about 2-3 tsp per cookie. Reheat caramel for a few seconds in the microwave if it gets too firm to work with. 4. While topping sets up, melt chocolate in a small bowl. Heat on high in the microwave in 45-second intervals, stirring thoroughly to prevent scorching. Dip the base of each cookie into the chocolate, and place on a clean piece of parchment paper. Transfer all remaining chocolate (or melt a bit of additional chocolate, if necessary) into a piping bag or a ziplock bag with the corner snipped off, and drizzle finished cookies with chocolate. Let chocolate set completely before storing in an airtight container. buzz



DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2011

Complete listing available at


SUBMIT YOUR EVENT TO THE CALENDAR: Online: forms available at • E-mail: send your notice to • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

THURSDAY 8 Art & other exhibits Art @ the Y presents ‘Waveland: A Meditation’ 9am,University YMCA Celebrating the King James Bible at 400 Exhibit 8:30am,U of I Main Library Warriors, Guardians, and Demons 9am,Spurlock Museum Watercolors, Photos and Drawings by Michael Fuerst 8am,133 West Main Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape 9am,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion Astral Convertible Stage Set 9am,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion Makeba! 9am,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion

12pm,Amara Yoga & Arts Yarn ‘n Yak 7pm,Rantoul Public Library

Movies & theater My Antonia 8pm,The Station Theatre

Sports, games, & recreation Bingo for Silly Prizes 9:30pm,Mike ‘n Molly’s

FRIDAY 9 Art & other exhibits

Art @ the Y presents ‘Waveland: A Meditation’ 9am,University YMCA Makeba! 9am,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion Celebrating the King James Bible at 400 Exhibit 8:30am,U of I Main Library Warriors, Guardians, and Demons 9am,Spurlock Museum Watercolors, Photos and Drawings by MiClasses, lectures, & chael Fuerst workshops 8am,133 West Main Weekday Orthodox Jerusalem Saved! InMinyan and Breakfast ness and the Spiritual 7:30am,The Hillel FounLandscape dation — The Margie 9am,Krannert Art K. and Louis N. Cohen Museum and Kinkead Center for Jewish Life Pavilion Astral Convertible Stage Live music & Set karaoke 9am,Krannert Art Liquid Courage Karaoke Museum and Kinkead 9pm,Memphis on Main Pavilion Bentley’s Thursday Live music & Night Karaoke karaoke 3pm,Bentley’s Pub DJ Ollie & DJ Hot Saus Friday Night Live 10pm,Highdive 6:45pm,Champaign-UrMorris Ardoin with bana Jewish Federation Dennis Stroughmatt ‘Appy Hour Creole/Cajun music 5:30pm,Silvercreek 7pm,Iron Post DJ Delayney Santah 10pm,Highdive 9:30pm,Cowboy Monkey DJ Tommy Williams 9pm,Chester Street Mind, body, & spirit Karaoke w/ DJ Bange Counseling Center 9pm,Phoenix Among Women Support Crabb Family in Concert Group 7:30pm,Pennsylvania 6:30pm,Asian American Avenue Baptist Church Cultural Center John McMahon Lunchtime Express Core 8pm,Etc. Coffee House @ with Maggie Taylor Wesley Foundation 12


DJ Kosmo 10pm,Cowboy Monkey

Mind, body, & spirit Lunchtime Express Power Flow with Certified Yoga Teacher Amanda Reagan 12pm,Amara Yoga & Arts Partner Yoga with Maggie Taylor 7pm,Amara Yoga & Arts

Movies & theater My Antonia 8pm,The Station Theatre

Sports, games, & recreation Open Gym Volleyball 5:30pm,Champaign County Brookens Administration Center

SATURDAY 10 Art & other exhibits Art @ the Y presents ‘Waveland: A Meditation’ 9am,University YMCA Makeba! 9am,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion Celebrating the King James Bible at 400 Exhibit 8:30am,U of I Main Library Warriors, Guardians, and Demons 10am,Spurlock Museum Watercolors, Photos and Drawings by Michael Fuerst 8am,133 West Main Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape 9am,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion Astral Convertible Stage Set 9am,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion

Live music & karaoke Jazz Music by Panache 7pm,Jim Gould Restaurant That’s No Moon 10pm,Cowboy Monkey


Kids Yoga 10:30am,Amara Yoga & Arts


Movies & theater


My Antonia 8pm,The Station Theatre

Art & other exhibits

Big Dave’s Trivia 7pm,Cowboy Monkey

Art @ the Y presents Sports, games, & ‘Waveland: A Meditarecreation tion’ UFC 140 Jones vs Ma9am,University YMCA chida Pay Per View @ Celebrating the King Boneyard Bar & BBQ James Bible at 400 8pm,Fireside Bar and Grill Exhibit 8:30am,U of I Main SUNDAY 11 Library Watercolors, Photos Art & other exhibits and Drawings by MiArt @ the Y presents chael Fuerst ‘Waveland: A Medita8am,133 West Main tion’ Classes, lectures, & 9am,University YMCA workshops Celebrating the King James Bible at 400 Poetry Workshop Exhibit 7:30pm,Red Herring Cof8:30am,U of I Main feehouse Library Live music & Warriors, Guardians, karaoke and Demons 12pm,Spurlock Museum 80’s Night w/ DJ MinWatercolors, Photos gram and Drawings by Mi10pm,Highdive chael Fuerst Abe Froman Project 8am,133 West Main Monday Night Improv/ Astral Convertible Rockstar Karaoke Stage Set 9pm,Mike ‘n Molly’s 2pm,Krannert Art Electro/Industrial Night Museum and Kinkead 9pm,Chester Street Pavilion One Dollar Wild MonMakeba! days 2pm,Krannert Art 10pm,Canopy Club Museum and Kinkead MELD: Monday Evening Pavilion Life Drawing Group 7pm,McGown PhotogLive music & raphy


Open Mic Nite 7pm,Phoenix Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape 2pm,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion Tom and Matt Turino with special guests 7pm,Iron Post

Mind, body, & spirit


Bingo Night 10pm,Memphis on Main

Big Homie presents Open Mic Night 7pm,Phoenix

Hatha Yoga with Grace Giorgio 5:30pm,Amara Yoga & Arts

Movies & theater Monday Night Comedy 7pm,Illini Union

Sports, games, & recreation


Movies & theater

Art & other exhibits

My Antonia 8pm,The Station Theatre

Art @ the Y presents ‘Waveland: A Meditation’ 9am,University YMCA

Sports, games, &

Makeba! 9am,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion Celebrating the King James Bible at 400 Exhibit 8:30am,U of I Main Library Warriors, Guardians, and Demons 12pm,Spurlock Museum Watercolors, Photos and Drawings by Michael Fuerst 8am,133 West Main Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape 9am,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion Astral Convertible Stage Set 9am,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion

Classes, lectures, & workshops Revive, Restore, Relax: Weston Wellness 3pm,Weston Residence Hall Slow Flow Yoga with Amanda Reagan 5:30pm,Amara Yoga & Arts

Live music & karaoke DJ Hot Saus 10pm,Highdive RockStarz KaraokePresented by 3L Entertainment 8pm,The Corner Tavern RockStarz KaraokePresented by 3L Entertainment 10pm,Bentley’s Pub “Eyes: How they work, how they break, and how veterinarians fix them” 6:30pm,Veterinary Teaching Hospital - Small Animal Clinic Rockstarz Karaoke 10pm,Chester Street Dueling Guitars at Jupiters/Crossing 8pm,Jupiter’s II Open Mic Night 10pm,Cowboy Monkey The Piano Man 9pm,Canopy Club

Miscellaneous Man UP (Men’s Support/Social Group) 7pm,Activities and Recreation Center (ARC)

Movies & theater Israeli Movie Club 7pm,Hillel Foundation The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life

Coyote Ugly Night w/ DJ Stifler 9pm,Highdive Open Mic Nite 7pm,Phoenix DJ Tommy Williams 9pm,Chester Street

Mind, body, & spirit

Trivia Tuesdays 7pm,Memphis on Main

Canterbury Student Association Supper 5:45pm,St. John the Divine Episcopal Church Bible and Brew 8pm,St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church and Campus Center



Sports, games, & recreation

Art & other exhibits Makeba! 9am,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion Cafe Ivrit 7pm,Espresso Royale Celebrating the King James Bible at 400 Exhibit 8:30am,U of I Main Library Warriors, Guardians, and Demons 9am,Spurlock Museum Watercolors, Photos and Drawings by Michael Fuerst 8am,133 West Main Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape 9am,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion Astral Convertible Stage Set 9am,Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion

Classes, lectures, & workshops Storyshop at the Branch 10:30am,Douglass Branch Library

Live music & karaoke Donnie Heitler -- Solo Piano 6pm,Great Impasta Salsa Dancing 10pm,Cowboy Monkey Art @ the Y presents ‘Waveland: A Meditation’ 9am,University YMCA

Open Mic Comedy Night 9pm,Memphis on Main Tango Dancing 7:30pm,Cowboy Monkey

Movies & theater My Antonia 8pm,The Station Theatre

Like us on Facebook! facebook. com/ buzzmagazine Follow us on Twitter @ buzzMagCU buzz is taking original comic submissions! Email

That song totally makes you look fat.

december 8 - 14, 2011

CU Sound off 

by Emma Cullen

If someone handed you $200 to spend on whatever you wanted, how would you use it? If only we didn’t have to ever worry about money. Life would be so much simpler, wouldn’t it? Despite the fact that money is supposedly the root of all evil, having a little bit of extra cash certainly

couldn’t hurt. Dreams could come true all over the world! Unfortunately, though, most of us don’t have as much money as an Arabian prince. Just $50 would make a huge difference in the lives of some

people! Even $5! I could buy lunch. But what about $200? It’s a lot of money, but not so much that you could retire early and be set for life. So how would you spend $200?

Alex Marzano

Alexa Preskill

CJ Urbanowski

Laurence Pagela

Class of 2014

Class of 2014

Class of 2014

Class of 2015

“Urban Outfitters, Dos Reales, Chipotle, Burrito King, and I would buy everybody drinks at Red Lion.”



“I’m saving up for a motorcycle, so I would probably use it towards that.”





Krannert Uncorked


Champaign-Urbana Symphony Orchestra: Sleigh Bells Ring, Are You Listening?

// Marquee

Find the SMA$HED CA$H cab Answer 5 questions correctly Get $50 and a ride home

// Champaign-Urbana Symphony Orchestra



Krannert Uncorked with the Cerulean Saxophone Quartet // Marquee

You may be featured in a VIDEO GAME SHOW on



Dance for People with Parkinson’s

// Marquee

Look for the Illini Taxi Express cab for your chance to play: Thursday, Friday and Saturday, Dec 8, 9, 10 @ Pizza Hut 411 E. Green or in Downtown Champaign

C A L L 3 3 3 . 6 2 8 0 • 1. 8 0 0 . K C P A T I X

Corporate Power Train Team Engine

Watch for the SMA$HED CA$H video on

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council—a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

40 North and Krannert Center — working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

next week! buzz   


Classifieds Place an Ad: 217 - 337 - 8337 Deadline: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition. Inde x Employment 000 Services 100 Merchandise 200 Transportation 300 Apartments 400 Other Housing/Rent 500 Real Estate for Sale 600 Things To Do 700 Announcements 800 Personals 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.




Full/Part time

Restaurant Help Champaign Barbeque restaurant looking for servers, bartenders, all positions.



$1000-3200/month to drive new cars with ads.






Available December 1. 2 BR, 808 w springfield, U. $620/mo. Including utilities, parking, garbage/ recycling, W/D on site. Furnished if needed. Available January 1. 3 BR, 1320 Alms, C. $850/mo. Including utilities, garbage, W/D, appliances. Furnished if needed. Great for family, group of student teachers or grad students. Contact Chris. 419-0588, 684-2226

BEST OFFER CAMPUS 1 Bedroom Loft 2 Bedroom 3 Bedroom 4 Bedroom Campus. 367-6626 Available August 2012

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Photo Sellers

30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

Garage Sales

30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads

• 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $20 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $10 • add a photo to an action ad, $10



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SEARCH   december 8 - 14, 2011

Your Dad is quite the catch.


March 21-April 19

What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in your life? To answer that question is your first assignment. It’s OK if you can’t decide between the three or four most beautiful things. What’s important is to keep visions of those amazements dancing in the back of your mind for the next few days. Play with them in your imagination. Feel the feelings they rouse in you as you muse about the delights they have given you. Regard them as beacons that will attract other ravishing marvels into your sphere. Now here’s your second assignment: Be alert for and go hunting for a new “most beautiful thing.”


April 20-May 20

“Not to dream boldly may turn out to be irresponsible,” said educator George Leonard. I certainly think that will be true for you in the coming months, Taurus. In my astrological opinion, you have a sacred duty not only to yourself, but also to the people you care about, to use your imagination more aggressively and expressively as you contemplate what might lie ahead for you. You simply cannot afford to remain safely ensconced within your comfort zone, shielded from the big ideas and tempting fantasies that have started calling and calling and calling to you.


May 21-June 20

Researchers at the University of Oregon claim that in certain circumstances, they can make water flow uphill ( I’m not qualified to evaluate their evidence, but I do know that in the coming week you will have the power to accomplish the metaphorical equivalent of what they say they did. Don’t squander this magic on trivial matters, please, Gemini. Use it to facilitate a transformation that’s important to your longterm well-being.


June 21-July 22

“Dear Rob: Is there any way to access your horoscope archives going back to 1943? I’m writing a novel about World War II and need to see your astrological writings from back then. - Creative Cancerian.” Dear Creative: To be honest, I wasn’t writing horoscopes back in 1943, since I wasn’t anywhere near being born yet. On the other hand, I give you permission to make stuff up for your novel and say I wrote it back in 1943. Most of you Cancerians have good imaginations about the past, and you’re currently going through a phase when that talent is amplified. While you’re tinkering with my history, have fun with yours, too. This is an excellent time for members of your tribe to breath new life and fresh spin into a whole slew of your own personal memories.


July 23-Aug. 22

December 8 – 14, 2011


Sept. 23-Oct. 22


“Out for the Day”--dish up, dig in, drop out.

Oct. 23-Nov. 21


Nov. 22-Dec. 21


Dec. 22-Jan. 19

Mickey Mouse is a Scorpio, born November 18, 1928. Bugs Bunny is a Leo, coming into the world on July 27, 1940. In their long and storied careers, these two iconic cartoon heroes have made only one joint appearance. It was in the film Who Framed Roger Rabbit. They got equal billing and spoke the same number of words. I’m predicting that a comparable event will soon take place in your world, Scorpio: a conjunction of two stars, a blend of two strong flavors, or a coming together of iconic elements that have never before mixed. Sounds like you’re in for a splashy time.

Harvey Ball was a commercial artist who dreamed up the iconic image of the smiley face. He whipped it out in ten minutes one day in 1963. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t trademark or copyright his creation, and as a result made only $45 from it, even as it became an archetypal image used millions of times all over the world. Keep his story in the back of your mind during the coming weeks, Sagittarius. I have a feeling you will be coming up with some innovative moves or original stuff, and I would be sad if you didn’t get proper credit and recognition for your work.

There are 501 possible solutions to your current dilemma. At least ten of them would bring you a modicum of peace, a bit of relief, and a touch of satisfaction. Most of the rest wouldn’t feel fantastic, but would at least allow you to mostly put the angst behind you and move on with your life. But only one of those potential fixes can generate a purgative and purifying success that will extract the greatest possible learning from the situation and give you access to all of the motivational energy it has to offer. Be very choosy.


Jan. 20-Feb. 18

At, food critic L. Nightshade gathered “The 78 Most Annoying Words to Read in a Restaurant Review.” Among the worst offenders: “meltingly tender,” “yummilicious,” “crazy delicious,” “orgasmic,” “I have seen God,” “symphony of flavors,” and “party in your mouth.” I understand the reluctance of any serious wordsmith to resort to such predictable language in crafting an appraisal of restaurant fare, but I don’t mind borrowing it to hint at your immediate future. What you experience may be more like a “party in your head” than a “party in your mouth,” and “crazy delicious” may describe events and adventures rather than flavors, per se. But I think you’re in for a yummilicious time.



Aug. 23-Sept. 22

by Matt Jones

Emily Rubin invited authors to write about a specific theme for a literary reading she organized in New York last September: stains. “What is your favorite stain?” she asked prospective participants, enticing them to imagine a stain as a good thing, or at least as an interesting twist. Included in her own list were chocolate, candle wax, lipstick, grass, mud, wine, and tomato sauce. What are yours, Libra? This would be an excellent time to sing the praises of your best-loved or most provocative blotches, splotches, and smirches -- and have fun stirring up some new ones.

The quality of your consciousness is the single most influential thing about you. It’s the source of the primary impact you make on other human beings. It changes every situation you interact with, sometimes subtly and other times dramatically. So here’s my first question: How would you characterize the quality of your consciousness? The answer is complicated, of course. But there must be eight to ten words that capture the essence of the vibes you beam out wherever you go. Now comes my second question: Are you satisfied with the way you contribute to life on earth with the quality of your consciousness? It’s an excellent time to contemplate these primal matters.

In “Nan You’re a Window Shopper,” British recording artist Lily Allen sings, “The bottom feels so much better than the top.” She means it ironically; the person she’s describing in the song is neurotic and insecure. But in using that declaration as a theme for your horoscope this week -- the bottom feels so much better than the top -- I mean it sincerely. What you have imagined as being high, superior, or uppermost may turn out to be mediocre, illusory, or undesirable. Conversely, a state of affairs that you once considered to be low, beneath your notice, or not valuable could become rather interesting. And if you truly open your mind to the possibilities, it may even evolve into something that’s quite useful.

jone sin’

Feb. 19-March 20

Some martial artists unleash a sharp percussive shout as they strike a blow or make a dramatic move -- a battle cry that helps channel their will into an explosive, concise expression of force. The Japanese term for this is kiai. A few women’s tennis players invoke a similar sound as they smack the ball with their racquet. Maria Sharapova holds the record for loudest shriek at 105 decibels. The coming weeks would be an excellent time for you to call on your own version of kiai, Pisces. As you raise your game to the next level, it would make perfect sense for you to get your entire body involved in exerting some powerful, highly-focused master strokes.

Stumped? Find the solutions in the Classifieds pages.


1 Late November drowsiness 11 ___ Friday’s (restaurant chain) 14 You, you, you, or me 15 Dungeons & Dragons creatures 17 They’re used in repair of fractures 18 Bump into 19 “Gone in 60 Seconds” director Dominic 20 Org. that assigns numerical IDs 21 Fashion model/volleyball player Gabrielle 22 Tone Loc single released just after “Funky Cold Medina” 25 Controversial engineering 28 Lacto-___ vegetarian 29 “Then what happened?” 30 Think it could possibly be 31 Himalayan country: abbr. 32 Trippy stuff 33 “This American Life” host Glass 34 Vietnam Memorial designer Maya 35 They’re found in kids’ books 42 Massive Brit. lexicon 43 Shiba ___ (cute dog breed) 44 Duration of amateur boxing matches, often 46 Seasonal help 48 Forbidden topics: var. 49 WWII naval vessel

50 “There ___ substitute for...” 53 Suffix after Manhattan or McCarthy 54 Giving the cold shoulder 57 Part of CD 58 They swing on a steady basis 59 UK mil. award 60 Cause of 1-across, it’s said


1 File folder feature 2 Ones, to Juan 3 Baseball Hall of Famer Sandberg 4 Nimoy and Shatner co-star 5 Facebook status word for some 6 “___ Blues” (Beatles song) 7 It goes under your glass 8 Away from the workplace 9 “Axis ___” (1995 album by The Shamen) 10 “Bite my shiny metal ___!” (“Futurama” phrase) 11 “Anger Management” actress 12 Scallion 13 Like Antarctica 16 Note takers’ needs 21 Hopeful, as outlooks go 23 “I’m ___ Boat” 24 1968 federal law regulating firearms, for short 25 Extremely angry 26 Stealthily implied

27 69 and 101, but not 86 35 Rural rds. 36 Their, to a Herr 37 Searcher for oil 38 Mass per unit volume 39 It has a descender when written in lower case 40 Before, to a poet 41 Alfonso of baseball 45 Use a plunger 47 Village Voice gossip columnist Michael 51 “The Secret of ___” (1982 animated movie) 52 Draft classification 54 Invoice fig. 55 “Wayne’s World” rejoinder 56 Channel that revived “The Newlywed Game”



december 8 - 14, 2011 



home for the holidays? Making the best of a bad situation The holiday season is now officially upon us. I realize that for some folks this particular season has been upon us since the end of Halloween, but I prefer to put it off as long as is humanly possible. Like a tiny child who closes his eyes when he is scared, I try to pretend that if I don’t see it, it isn’t there, and therefore it is not able to harm me. It’s a fun little mind game, but honestly, it doesn’t really work. Deep in my heart, I’m fully aware Christmas has begun, and it will suck you in whether you allow it to or not.

fense of my idiocy, they do sound sort of similar. That’s my terrible — and quite possibly useless — holiday drinking advice: shave an hour or so off your start time, and hope for the best. There are other problems, too, however. Many people can never find time to really enjoy the holidays because they manage to completely stress themselves out worrying about every little thing. Here’s my advice for that sort of crap. Take care of the bare minimum, and then relax. If you can do more, fantastic; if you can’t, big freaking deal ­— you at least did something. It’s really like those people in school who worked super hard and always got all A’s but never seemed to enjoy themselves all that much. At Christmas, be the C student instead. Average is perfectly I could never advocate completely fine most of the time. cutting back on drinking, especially If you are silly enough to plan a Christmas party at your house, get at Christmas. Let’s face it — there’s a case of cheap beer and a bag of something going on pretty much every Combos, and then take a few steps back. Yes, this seems like the maknight from now until New Year’s, so ing for a pretty crappy party, and it you have to pick your battles. You’ll be sort of is, but I’ve been to parties where this was the entire menu, drinking a lot, anyway ­— first for fun, and they were perfectly fine. Either then mindlessly, then as a requirement. way, start small and then build big, until you feel like it’s enough. It’s tough because it’s just balls to the wall for The same is true for all the Christmas shopthirty or forty days in a row. By the time mid-Jan- ping. Get everyone on your list something, and uary hits, most of us will look like a shell of our then regroup and add to it later. This will take the former selves. Things will begin to seem normal pressure off and will also give you more time to again in February, and then by March, most of the reflect on what might be more creative gifts. By damage done will have been repaired. Either way, “more time to reflect,” I basically mean, “more we all have to find a way to survive until then, so time to cocktail and pretend you’re also doing I’d like to offer a few ideas to make it easier. Actu- something else.” ally, it won’t be that much easier, but these little Speaking of shopping, another good idea to cut hints might help to keep your personal body count back on your personal stress is to simply open to under a hundred or so. your eyes. If you’re out at the stores and it all First off, let’s talk about drinking. I should quickly seems like too much to handle, glance around, point out that what I’m about to say will seem and I guarantee you will see someone who is more completely out of character, and I really can’t be- stressed out than you are. Take a long, hard look at lieve the words are coming out of my mouth, but this person. You will see that all the twitching and here goes. Take it easy on the cocktails as much as frothing are not especially attractive qualities in you can manage. I threw in that “as much as you a human being and that they look insane. Seeing can manage” part because I could never advocate the pathetic desperation in others is often a fine completely cutting back on drinking, especially at way to right your own ship. That’s right — batshit Christmas. Let’s face it — there’s something going crazy shoppers often have a strange ability to on pretty much every night from now until New scare your dumb ass straight. Year’s, so you have to pick your battles. You’ll be Really, the best advice I can give everyone is just drinking a lot, anyway ­— first for fun, then mind- to do the best you can. The holidays, like most lessly, then as a requirement. things, never go as well as everyone hopes they My completely half-assed advice is this: You will. On the other hand, they never go as poorly don’t necessarily have to drink a whole bunch as most imagine, either. It’s supposed to be a fun before the actual event you’re going to. I’m the time of the year, after all, but somewhere along king of this mistake. “Hey, we’re going to dinner the line, it developed a death march mentality. at seven,” sounds fairly innocuous. The problem Relax, enjoy your friends and family, and just have is that to me, it sounds something like, “Hey, we’re a good time for once. No matter how hard you try, going to dinner at seven, so you should probably someone is always going to be disappointed. They go out around five and knock back as many cock- key is to make sure that disappointed someone tails as possible before we actually eat.” In de- isn’t you. 16


Buzz Magazine: Dec. 8, 2011  
Buzz Magazine: Dec. 8, 2011  

Dec. 8, 2011