Buzz Magazine: Nov. 22, 2006

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STAY HOT IN THE COLD The winter guide on what to wear pg. 4

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ROCK OUT TO THESE TRACKS THIS THANKSGIVING

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BORED? CHECK OUT CU CALENDAR

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THE NUTCRACKER AND ITS HISTORY

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UNDER THE COVER

BUZZ STAFF

Topless Female Dancers

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no.46

Cover Design • Brittany Bindrim Editor in Chief • Erin Scottberg Art Director • Brittany Bindrim Copy Chief • Meghan Whalen Listen, Hear • Anna Statham Stage, Screen & in Between • Elyse Russo Around Town • Tatyana Safronova CU Calendar • Annette Gonzalez Photography Editor • Amelia Moore Designers • Hank Patton, Monica Betel Calendar Coordinator • Brian McGovern Photography • Amelia Moore Copy Editors • Lisa Fisherkeller, Emily Ciaglia, Ilana Katz, Whitney Harris Staff Writers • Brian McGovern, Carlye Wisel, Amy Meyer Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein, Mike Ingram, Kim Rice, Kate Ruin Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

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AROUND TOWN Winter Fashion • Evangeline Politis The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

LISTEN, HEAR Thanksgiving Playlists CU Sound Revue • Mike Ingram Spin It/Flip It/Reverse It • Carlye & Brian Album reviews

CU CALENDAR

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STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN

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e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com write: 512 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call: 217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

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This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter

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TALK TO BUZZ

INTRO

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The Nutcracker History • Jeff Nelson Movie reviews Top 10 Underrated Films • Jeff Gross Top 10 Overrated Films • Scott Frankel

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CLASSIFIEDS

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THE STINGER

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Doin’ it Well • Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Free Will Astrology Album reviews

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50 © Illini Media Company 2006

erin scottberg EDITOR’S NOTE

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ere we are, a day early because of the holiday. With tomorr ow come s t u r ke y, footba l l and fam i ly, but with Friday, well, that means shopping, leftovers and 24-hour hol iday music rad io stations. And, most importantly, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

I love that movie. It’s great. Between Cousin Eddie, Aunt Bethany and Clark’s boss, the Griswolds keep me cracking up again and again.

While you’ll probably have the chance to catch this movie on cable on a daily basis, Chevy Chase was never meant to be censored — Clark’s tirade about his boss at the end just isn’t the same on TNT as it is on VHS. If we’re lucky, we might even be able to catch some old-school Suzy Snowflake or Hardrock, Coco and Joe on WGN, or some less old-school Rudolph clay-mation and hand-drawn Frosty the Snowman cartoons. Man, kids these days are missing out on the good stuff.

On page 6, buzz writers laid out some holiday appropriate playlists and while I dig their selections, they forgot an important topic: holiday music. I can’t help it, I love Christmas carols.

Especially the cheesy, pop tunes from Elvis, Mar iah Carey or the Chipmunks. There’s nothing like catching Mariah’s “All I Want for INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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Christmas is You” when you’re slightly inebriated with holiday cheer and think you can hit those high notes just like Miss Mimi herself. And nothing says Christmas like driving home for the holidays, crooning along with the King on the radio. “I’ll have a bbllluuuueee Christmas without you.”

I’m a fan of the classics, too. There’s something about the Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s rendition of “Carol of the Bells” that makes me want to put on a Santa hat and gift-wrap everything in sight and bake those little cookies with the Hershey’s Kiss in the middle. And “Silver Bells,” well, that makes me want to go back in time to Chicago circa 1904 and sit under the Marshall Field’s clock, watching horse-drawn buggies pull young couples dressed to the nines down State Street in a soft snowfall.

If you’re not a normal reader of Doin’ It Well (page 17), make sure you check it out th is week. R ice and Ruin go undercover at one of those deceiving and manipulative “crisis pregnancy centers” and what they’re told is beyond disturbing. It literally made my gut wrench.

And, on a final note, as Seth Fein says on page 5, when you’re doing your holiday shopping, make sure to check out all the great locally owned businesses in the area. Bundle up and head to downtown Urbana or Champaign and find something for everyone on your list without having to fight the crowds at Market Place Mall — or the traffic on Prospect Avenue. sounds from the scene

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buzz weekly •

ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU’RE UNIQUE - JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

It’s OK, you made a super effort!

Stop raising kids to be whiny pansies

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hen I was playing football in high school, we all got the piss knocked out of us at one time or another ... usually it was on the field.

I remember one incident, however, where one of our guys was returning an interception for a touchdown. He was really fast and there was really no one around him and for some idiotic freaking reason, I leveled a guy who was chasing him.

The referee called it a clip, which it wasn’t, but either way, it was just stupid. The play was called back. When I got to the sideline and took off my helmet, I was quickly smacked on the forehead with a clipboard by our coach. He did that sort of thing quite a lot.

I remember this for a couple of reasons.

First of all, all of my teammates were laughing their collective asses off and I had to stand there and get my singular ass chewed with a straight face, even though I also wanted to laugh.

Second of all, I totally had that shit coming.

I was playing hard, I just wasn’t thinking hard.

It’s weird. I suppose the clipboard on the forehead sort of hurt, but I don’t remember that pain at all. I still can’t forget the speech I got though, at least the gist of it.

The coach was right in my face and I winced every time spittle exited his mouth and landed on my chin. I winced quite a lot. The lecture had something to do with using my head, with being a team player, with being in control, quite a lot of words just to make one simple point, don’t do that again or I will hit you on the head with my clipboard again and you will be embarrassed in front of your teammates and the crowd.

Though I was teased mercilessly about the incident, that was about it. There wasn’t anything to be said. The people in the stands knew I had it coming. The reporter knew I had it coming. The coach knew I had it coming. My mom and dad knew I had it coming. Hell, even I knew I had it coming.

It was over and it was no big damned deal.

These days though, Bobby Knight pops a kid in the chin and suddenly he’s being fitted for the antichrist suit. Maybe “suddenly” is the wrong word to use there. He’s in trouble just about as much as he isn’t, but most of it is because a bunch of people can’t wait to have another hissy fit about the way he treats his players. You know

how he treats his players? He treats them exactly how they want to be treated. It’s no secret how he is and there was never any sort of government mandate forcing them to play for him, so they all know what’s likely coming, and yet some of the best players in the nation come to his school every year.

You know why? They come to play for him because he makes them into better people. Most of the kids who play for him graduate; there aren’t as many coaches who can say that as there should be. By the time those kids graduate, they will be tough sons of bitches. It may not be the happiest four years they’ll every have, but by the end of it, most everything else in their life will seem easier than that shit was. They may not end up being the greatest basketball players in the world, but most of them will end up being successful in life.

I suppose you could argue the point, but Coach Knight isn’t treating his players roughly because he is simply a rat bastard. He does it because that’s the best way he knows to get through to them.

He’s not trying to hurt them, he’s trying to make them better, which is sort of what he’s supposed to do, isn’t it? He probably goes overboard sometimes and every time he does, you can bet there will be some candyass there trying to make a big deal out of it again.

Is it a big deal, though? Well, the player didn’t think it was anything special. His parents said they didn’t understand what all the fuss was about.

Bobby Knight was his usual self, saying “If that’s an issue, then I’m living in the wrong country.”

Maybe he’s right, maybe he is living in the wrong country these days. He’s still trying to make his kids ready for life, and much of our country seems to be trying to convince kids that they don’t have to try to be successful.

Say whatever you want, but winning still matters, or at least it does to some people. You can use the kid gloves all you want. You can not keep score in games. You can hug a kid when he screws up. You can tell them it’s not whether they win or lose, but how they play the game.

You can kiss their ass all you want, but you’re not making them better players or better citizens.

You’re setting them up to think everything is gonna be okay, no matter what, that everything will be handed to them. Basically, you’re setting them up to embrace mediocrity and failure.

That didn’t used to be something to strive for. It still isn’t for Bobby Knight.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

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around town

D R E S S U P! WINTER IS COMING. STAY STYLISH. EVANGELINE POLITIS • STAFF WRITER

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olden and auburn leaves float onto the sidewalks of the student-packed Quad. The sky is the color of tarnished antique silver and freezing drops of rain plummet onto the heads of co-eds. The threat of snow or a frigid drizzle is imminent as November’s temperatures fall. The wind whips the leaves off the damp ground and students struggle to keep a firm grasp on their umbrellas.

A new season is here. The first day of fall already passed on September 22. This new climate signals the oncoming winter, especially with the possibility of snow flurries coming our way.

Many young women feel unprepared for this change and are scurrying home to exchange their mini skirts and T-shirts for corduroy slacks and down jackets. The questions many may have are what to bring back from last year, what to buy and what to put in storage.

AMELIA MOORE • PHOTO

TOPS Sweaters are definitely a requirement for the weather and the season’s trends. Deep V-necked sweaters are something that should be brought back from last year. These wool and cotton pieces can be updated by wrapping a patent leather or suede belt around the waist. As in the past, layering is also very important.

Wool vests from prior seasons are being thrown on top of crisply starched collar shirts.

“Always buy or bring back long sleeved T-shirts,” said Catherine Seul, manager at the clothing boutique General Eccentric, 701 S. Gregory St., Urbana. “You can throw your favorite tank top or T-shirt over it. You should never have put your favorite clothes in hibernation.”

A few pieces that you may have to run out to Market Place Mall for are dolman-sleeved and cowl-necked sweaters. These baggy shapes are filling the hangers of retail stores such as Express and New York & Company. Another shape that is invading clothing store displays is the empire waist, which tightens directly below the bust. This fit flatters anyone who is self-conscious of her midsection.

The length of your tops is also key; you should forget anything that hits above your waist. The focus is on long tunics and even dresses worn over tailored pants or warm leggings.

A hint for 2006 is also to scrounge through your mother’s and even your grandmother’s closets when you get home. Many of this season’s styles like dolman sleeves are throwbacks to the ’70s and ’80s. Baggy, grandma-style cardigans are also very popular; Old Navy is featuring three variations of a chunky knit sweater.

Stephenie Austin of Champaign models clothes at General Eccentic, located at 701 S. Gregory St. in Urbana.

JACKETS Many of this season’s jackets have a military style. They come in fatigue colors such as dark green, brown and navy. Their shapes are very structured with large rectangular pockets, and they are accented with a button closure. This winter, coats are becoming dressy again, moving away from the nylon puff jackets you may have had a few years ago to wool, hooded peacoats.

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Vests are popular once again, tightly fitting against the body silhouette with fur-lined hoods. The bomber jacket is another trend showing up in stockrooms of stores like Target and American Eagle. Though this short jacket may be cute, you will definitely be in need of more coverage as the temperatures continue to sink.

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BOTTOMS Jeans and slacks have made a complete transformation this season. Many of you may be tempted to bring back your wide, bell bottom jeans and corduroys, but avoid them. The tailored look has taken over every part of your wardrobe, including bottoms.

Many of you will have to flock to the stores to pick up a pair of sounds from the scene

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boot cut or skinny-legged pants. Gap has even centered their entire ad campaign around the new Audrey Hepburn-inspired black, skinny leg pant.

But select the pants accordingly.

“The issue with the skinny leg style is that they don’t look flattering on everyone,” said Seul.

“Unless you’re a twig, you may want to go for a stove-pipe or boot cut jean.”

Another trend that was introduced this past spring is leggings. This style has been recently validated as many high-fashion designers such as Anna Sui and Michael Kors included them in their Fashion Week collections. More patterned and heavier weight styles were shown this season. The best part of this style is that it’s an inexpensive way to update last year’s dress or skirt; Schnucks grocery store, 200 N. Vine St., Urbana, even sells No Nonsense’s footless tights for only $4.99.

Mix in any knee-length or pencil skirts you may have accumulated over the past few seasons.

Short skirts are slowly being phased out as a more professional, secretary look is becoming popular. High-waisted, tweed and herringbone wool skirts are all over magazines and are available at higher-end stores such as Banana Republic.

FOOTWEAR AND BAGS With the possibility of snow on its way, boots def initely need to be brought back to your school’s closet. Despite what many think, Uggs are still OK. Paired over skinny jeans, they will still present an up-to-date look.

“I don’t think Uggs will ever go out of style,” said Seul. “They have a practicality about them; they are warm and protect you from the snow.”

If your pair from last year was ruined by the snow, you should be looking for a boot with a short heel that hits above the calf. Suede is a popular look for the season. However, it is more practical for a dry winter and will be stained by any kind of wetness. A ridding boot style is very popular and is offered by both designers Cole Haan and Anne Klein.

When it comes to shoes, many of the styles from last year are being slightly altered. Your flats and pointy-toed heels are still popular. Slowly the toes are being more rounded and many of the heels now feature a stacked wooden platform.

Tartan and tweed patterns are also mirrored in many pairs of flats and metallic is still popular.

When it comes to handbags, the st yles vary. Leave behind any of those small shoulder bags you may have had last year. The spotlight has been placed on large, boho bags as well as small rectangular clutches. This is another means you can brighten and update your look with a cherr y red clutch or with a white, patent leather tote.

COLORS Another major facet of this season’s style is color. Purple is the color to have with variations in burgundy and rose. Green and brown are other important hues, and less attention is being given to plain old black.

While you are packing your suitcase in preparation for your journey back to Champaign-Urbana, remember to bring back more tailored styles, but most importantly include the things that will protect you from that bonechilling wind.

FIND YOUR NEXT OUTFIT AT THESE LOCAL STORES Circles 107 N. Walnut St. in downtown Champaign Dandelion Vintage and Used Clothing 9 E. Taylor St. in downtown Champaign General Eccentric Inc. 701 S. Gregory St. in Urbana Paris Boutique 202 E. Green St. just west of Campustown Pitaya 625 E. Green St. in the heart of Campustown Plato’s Closet 29 E. Marketview Dr. in Champaign Market Place Mall 2000 N. Neil St. in Champaign featuring stores like Macy’s, Bergner’s and The Limited

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seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

Sniffer mourns matzo balls Chief dances around a big pastrami sandwich; dies of justice

FIRST SNIFF Thanksgiving is easily my favorite holiday because of what it revolves around: eating and football.

Easter: I appreciate the kind of symbolic importance it holds for me. Valentine’s Day: It’s a good one because I am just one of those guys that is actually a total wimp on the inside and loves to buy candy for the lady. Halloween: It was great until I was 22 years old and then it kind of dropped off. Christmas: No other day like it, but it’s too commercial.

Yep. Thanksgiving is the ultimate in terms of a completely asinine and antiquated holiday that caters to what men love. And while I can say for sure that I am not what you would consider the consummate, stereotypical male, there is nothing better than eating a big fucking bird and watching overgrown men bash the shit out of each other one day out of the year. Wait. I just described the 50 percent of American men who eat KFC and watch wrestling 24/7.

DOES JESUS LOOK LIKE A RACIST? I went to see Don Williams speak at Foellinger Auditorium last Thursday. He is a pastor and speaker who tours the country delivering a solid Christian message about spiritual warfare and how to become a part of the ongoing battle between good and evil; God and Satan.

Williams is revolutionary in some ways, in that he preaches a more outspoken message of inclusion, especially in terms of race, than most pastors dare to tackle. Being a Vineyard pastor, his audience is generally what CNN would color red.

It’s interesting to see the different kind of people that turn out for an event like this. Mostly filled with college students, the Auditorium looked like a classic Champaign-Urbana melting pot: white, black, Indian, Asian, pro-Chief, African, British, etc… Notice something funky about that little list there?

IT IS RACISM …

They took an offering after Don was done speaking in order to help pay for the hall rental and for flying him in and no doubt, for his fee.

The girl who was holding the envelope was wearing a Chief shirt. Does this not strike anyone as being so overtly inconsistent that it makes you want to vomit?

The man just got done talking about the importance of respecting each other and each others’ cultures as part of a way of battling Satan, and this girl, obviously, felt no sense of guilt, no sense of shame. She just passed along the envelope as if she wasn’t actually wearing an indictment right on her shirt.

In case you are reading, young lady — whether you know it or not — it is racist to support the Chief.

PURDUE VS. ILLINOIS, 2006. THE CHIEF’S LAST DANCE? I went to the game on Nov. 11 and deliberately

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WOAH, SLOW DOWN THERE MAESTRO. THERE’S A *NEW* MEXICO?

stayed to watch the 3-in-1 at halftime. I wanted to watch the Chief dance. I wanted to see what it felt like one last time. Because, unless the University is as stupid as the News-Gazette editorial board, they are going to axe that shit come this spring. And thank God. BOARD OF TRUSTEES AND DIGNITY The headline of this paragraph is incongruent.

The Board of Trustees had years to retire the racist symbol that is the mascot of our University, yet, they held out until it was practically forced down their throats by the NCAA. And even now, as the University isn’t allowed to host postseason tournaments — punishment from the NCAA for the racist symbol — the University continues to allow the Chief to dance at halftime.

I am an alumnus of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences. I can say without a doubt that no matter how rich I get, I will never, ever give any money to this school because of their lack of dignity. I won’t even hang my diploma on the wall.

SHOW OF THE WEEK Jane Boxall of Triple Whip is becoming a queen of the scene — and I mean that in the highest possible regard. In addition to holding down a steady gig as the drummer in Triple Whip (yes, she’s a girl and she’s most likely way better than the drummer in your band), she moonlights as the finest performing marimba player in town as well. If that weren’t enough, she’s begun a new series at the fabled Iron Post on the last Sunday of the month called 7 to 9 Sundays.

The concept is simple: three bands, two hours, cheap cover and home in time for bed. It’s a beautiful thing. And while the lineup has yet to be announced, you can only imagine that with an idea this good, the players are bound to be that much better. Cover is $3.50, so yes, dig through those couch cushions and head on down to the Post this Sunday for an early show.

BUSINESS OF THE WEEK How come there are only two decent restaurants in downtown Champaign? How can it be?

If I had the money, I swear to God. I would open up the best Jewish deli south of Chicago and it would own downtown. Persimmon was supposed to be something of a deli, but when you mix prententiousness and meat, you only end up with one conclusion: out of business. Can someone please open up a Jewish deli a la Carnegie’s via NYC? I’ll be there at least three times a week.

FINAL WHIFF Do yourself a favor. When you’re Christmas shopping this year, go local. Dandelion, Circles, Rebecca’s, Carries, Skins ’n Tins, CV Lloyde’s, etc. Fuck the mall. You’ll feel good about yourself.

Seth Fein is from Urbana. He really wants a huge bowl of matzo ball soup that someone else made. He can be reached at sethfein1@gmail.com.

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listen, hear

TURKEY TUNES ANNA STATHAM • LISTEN, HEAR EDITOR

Even though it’s Thanksgiving break, most people still have a lot of

buzz

Succumbing to the tryptophan blues

Post-turkey napper’s delight playlist

Chords and cornucopia

JARON BIRKAN • STAFF WRITER

ASHLEY KOLPAK • STAFF WRITER

DYLAN CALEWARTS

01. “Soul Survivor” – The Rolling Stones Exile on Main Street [Virgin] 4:17 02. “All The Young Dudes” – Mott The Hoople All The Young Dudes [Columbia] 3:30 03. “Whole Lotta History” – Girls Aloud Chemistry [Polydor] 3:46 04. “Tangled Up in Blue” – Bob Dylan Blood on The Tracks [Columbia] 5:42 05. “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long” – Otis Redding Otis Blue: Otis Redding Sings Soul [Atco] 3:17 06. “The Summer” – Yo La Tengo Fakebook [Bar/None] 2:39 07. “And It Stoned Me” – Van Morrison Moondance [Warner Bros.] 4:34 08. “Blizzard of ‘77” – Nada Surf Let Go [Barsuk] 2:09 09. “Conceived” – Beth Orton Comfort of Strangers [Astralwerks] 3:27 10. “Time” – David Bowie Aladdin Sane [Virgin] 5:14

01. “Quiet” – John Mayer Inside Wants Out [Sony] 3:20 02. “Title and Registration” – Death Cab for Cutie Transatlanticism [Barsuk] 3:39 03. “Sparks” – Coldplay Parachutes [Captiol] 3:47 04. “Guilty Cubicles” – Broken Social Scene Feel Good Lost [Arts and Crafts] 3:03 05. “Little Victories” – Matt Nathanson Beneath These Fireworks [Universal] 2:38 06. “Strange Condition” – Pete Yorn musicforthemorningafter [Sony] 3:57 07. “Evaporated” – Ben Folds Five Whatever and Ever Amen [Sony] 5:41 08. “Amie” – Damien Rice O [Vector Recordings] 4:36 09. “Cocoon” – Jack Johnson On and On [Universal] 4:10 10. “Hey There Delilah” – Plain White T’s All That We Needed [Fearless Records] 3:52

01. “Young Americans” – David Bowie Young Americans [Virgin] 5:11 02. “Young Pilgrims” – The Shins Chutes Too Narrow [Sub Pop] 2:47 03. “Gone Till November” – Wyclef Jean Presents the Carnival [Columbia] 3:27 04. “Roll Plymouth Rock” – Brian Wilson SMiLE [Nonesuch] 3:48 05. “Indian Summer” – The Doors Morrison Hotel [Elektra] 2:35 06. “Levitate Me” – Pixies Come On Pilgrim [4AD/Elektra] 2:37 07. “Autumn Sweater” – Yo La Tengo I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One [Matador] 5:18 08. “Harvest Moon” – Neil Young Harvest Moon [Reprise] 5:03 09. “Things Behind the Sun” – Nick Drake Pink Moon [Hannibal] 3:57 10. “The Pilgrim, Chapter 33” – Kris Kristofferson The Silver Tongued Devil and I [Monument] 3:12

Songs to play after you’ve had too much turkey

Cell phone ringtones I downloaded on the bus ride home

Ten people who will annoy you over Thanksgiving break

BONNIE STIERNBERG • STAFF WRITER

CARLYE WISEL • STAFF WRITER

IMRAN SIDDIQUEE • STAFF WRITER

01. “Slow Ride” – Foghat Fool For The City [Rhino Records] 8:41 02. “Cover of the Rolling Stone” – Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show The Essential Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show [Sony] 2:55 03. “Look What You’ve Done” – Jet Get Born [Elektra/Wea] 3:50 04. “Good” – Better Than Ezra Better Than Ezra: Greatest Hits [Fudge] 3:04 05. Wrong ‘Em Boyo” – The Clash London Calling [Sony] 3:10 06. “Un iver sa l Blues” – The Redwa l l s Universal Blues [Undertow Music] 3:33 07. “Werewolves of London” – Warren Zevon Learning to Flinch [Giant Records] 4:09 08. “Dyer Maker” – Led Zeppelin Houses of the Holy [Atlantic Records] 4:23 09. “Beast of Burden” – The Rolling Stones Some Girls [Virgin Records] 4:25 10. “Tiny Dancer” – Elton John Madman Across the Water [UMG Recordings, Inc.] 6:17

01. “Let it Burn” – Usher Confessions [Arista] 3:51 02. “Lose My Breath” – Destiny’s Child Destiny Fulfilled [Columbia] 4:02 03. “All Out Of Love” – Air Supply Lost in Love [EMI Music Group] 2:42 04. “Change Your Mind” – Down The Line Please Remember My Name [DTL] 3:56 05. “Charlie Patton Songs” – Gomez How We Operate [RAK Studios] 5:13 06. “Jesus is Just Alright” – The Doobie Brothers Toulouse Street [Warner Brothers] 4:33 07. “Time is Running Out” – Muse Absolution [Mushroom] 3:56 08. “The Party’s Crashing Us” – of Montreal The Sunlandic Twins [Polyvinyl] 4:53 09. “Harry Hood” – Phish Live Phish Vol. 9 [Elektra] 10. Birds Chirping – Cingular Wireless Sounds :15

01. “Uncle Johnny” – The Killers Sam’s Town [Island] 4:25 02. “Girlfriend” – Alicia Keys Songs in A Minor [ J-Records] 3:34 03. “Father” – Annuals Be He Me [Ace Fu Records] 5:15 04. “Cousin Kevin” – The Who Tommy [MCA] 4:07 05. “My Little Brother” – Art Brut Bang Bang Rock and Roll [Downtown] 2:23 06. “Cry Baby Cry” – The Beatles The Beatles (The White Album) [Capitol] 3:11 07. “Sister Savior” – The Rapture Echoes [Umvd Labels] 4:16 08. “Your Little Hoodrat Friend” – The Hold Steady Separation Sunday [French Kiss] 3:52 09. “Mother Dear” – The Divine Comedy Victory for the Comic Muse [Parlophone] 3:47 10. “Georgia ... Bush” – DJ Drama & Lil’ Wayne Dedication 2 [Self-released mix tape] 7:27

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• STAFF WRITER

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mike ingram CU SOUND REVUE

Turkey, hip-hop, metal and Guitar Hero — what a week!

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t’s Thanksgiving week, which means that most students have gone home to do laundry and eat real food while us townies are left to our own devices here.

What will we do with ourselves? Maybe we’ll eat a meal or two on campus without fear of asphyxiation by Axe body spray. Maybe we’ll just go to campus and park our cars in all the empty spots.

The possibilities are endless, I tell you.

Since it’s Thanksgiving week, this issue will come out on Wednesday, which means another whole day to report on. So, here’s Wednesday!

Canopy Club will be hosting a hip-hop showcase, featuring the Movement, Twick G, Bri and P.E.T.R.O. — it seems we’re officially running out of good names for groups — starting at 8 p.m., with an $8 cover charge. At Cowboy Monkey, DJ Bris will be spinning some of the best salsa and Latin music all night long, with a $5 cover. My suggestion would be Javelinas at the Iron Post in Urbana. At 8 p.m. and for only $3, this is a great chance to hear some great music and enjoy many, many drinks as you prepare for a day with family and (hopefully) more alcohol. The Iron Post seems like the right place to be on the night before Thanksgiving. It’s cozy and they serve cheap drinks.

Thursday night is pretty empty as far as shows go, giving you one less reason to give for bailing out on family dinner. In fact, several bars will be closed, but for those of you godless heathens out there that will be looking for a place to go: Boltini will be open and hosting Limbs (DJ), and Guido’s and Jupiter’s will also be open. I’ll be honoring my tradition of watching Christmas Vacation and getting drunk. Hopefully, at least one or two people will get it this year when I relentlessly say things like, “You serious, Clark?”

Friday night is officially ladies’ night. Talented ladies will be coming out of the woodwork to perform for crowds still hopped up on tryptophan.

During happy hour, you can catch the Leigh Meador Organ Trio at the Iron Post. Leigh is a great local talent, and has been lending her skill on the keys to several bands, including Beat Kitchen and the Alma Afro Beat Ensemble. She also plays the front-woman well, and will do so with her Organ Trio at 5 p.m. — no cover! This will be a good place to go to get over being trampled during Black Friday stampedes on North Prospect.

Shortly after happy hour, at 7:30 p.m., Lynn O’Brien will perform an evening-with-style performance at Canopy Club. For $7, this is a cheap chance to see one of the area’s fastest rising musical talents. Lynn has been wowing building crowds for about a year and a half now, even picking up the Best New Artist award at the 2006 CU Music Awards. Following her performance, there will be a late show featuring another 2006 nominee for Best New Artist, Megan Johns.

Saturday night, the Canopy Club will host a $5 metal showcase featuring local hardcore band Seven Year Existence, along with Zero Base, Habit of Force, Redeeming Damnation and Resurgence. At a dollar a band, that’s a sounds from the scene

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MY DOCTOR GRABBED ME BY THE WALLET AND SAID “COUGH!”

pretty great metal deal. The show starts at 9 p.m.

— it’s metal time, and the place is the Canopy.

Cue Brandon T. Washington — that’s how they do it at the Canopy!

If you’re not feeling like a fest of metal and goth girls, then the Iron Post might be the place for you. It will be hosting the young band Bandito Bandana for only $3.

Sunday night brings Planes Mistaken For Stars to town. They’ll play the Canopy Club with North Atlantic and Oceans at 9 p.m.

Planes Mistaken For Stars can’t seem to describe their sound well, throwing experimental, Hawaiian and healing/easy-listening on their MySpace page. One thing’s for sure — it’s worth checking out. Head to myspace.com/pmfs to make the call for yourself about the Colorado band.

Monday night carries with it the excitement of open mic night at Cowboy Monkey. OMFG, I’ll be hosting this week. Look out, world — he plays music and he self-promos like a mother. Hey, it’s free and I’m not really any good, so what do you have to lose?

Enjoy $2.50 on all drafts except for $1.50 PBRs. Tuesday night continues the Krukid/Triple Whip collaboration during Canopy Club’s Rehearsal Space. I’m hoping to make it out this week. Two great acts doing live mashups, no cover and cheap drinks — they even brought back $2 Long Islands. Canopy is happenin’ on Tuesdays.

Wednesday night will be the beginning of a Guitar Hero 2 epic battle at Cowboy Monkey.

There will be cheap drinks and an 8’x10’ screen on which to play or to watch from afar. Think you’ve got Guitar Hero skills? Come out and show them off. There’s no cover, even. Though I’ve recently learned that there is always someone better at this game than you.

Looking ahead to next week: Bar Louie is now having music on Thursdays and Fridays, and next Thursday will host Larry Gates (who has a sexy new picture on openingbands.com) from 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. Larry will play every other week, rotating on Thursdays with Doxi. Bar Louie is located on John St. between Johnstowne Center and Rentertainment in the space that Panera used to occupy.

The place is amazingly nice for being on campus, has a decent menu, and doesn’t charge a cover on music nights. Drop in and check it out.

Also next Thursday: Live Karaoke Band makes a triumphant return to downtown, playing at Cowboy Monkey. Over at Canopy Club, the Beauty Shop will open for Pete Yorn.

In other local music news: the Living Blue (formerly the Blackouts) have recently returned from a European tour, and I hope to have some tales to recount in next week’s column ... Hard tickets will soon be available for the final Lorenzo Goetz show, which takes place on New Year’s Eve at Cowboy Monkey — keep an eye out ...

Casados will also be returning from a tour soon, and will play at Cowboy Monkey on Dec. 15 with New Ruins and Watery Domestic.

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Guess who’s coming to dinner?

CARLYE WISEL AND BRIAN MCGOVERN • STAFF WRITERS

Thanksgiving — the day pilgrims stopped killing Indians — is here, and there’s so much to be thankful for. The buzz is first on everyone’s list, I’m sure ... but then there’s family and friends and cornucopias and countless other things. The turkey is in the oven and football is on the television where family is gathered — precious, for certain.

Regrettably, however, sometimes the whole event is kind of routine. No one has ever been thankful for boredom, right? No one cool, anyway. In honor of Thanksgiving, Carlye and Brian picked who they would bring to Thanksgiving dinner to spice things up. Hey, guess who’s coming to dinner?

BRIAN: Devendra Banhart

What my Thanksgiving lacks is borderline madness. Ever yone is somewhat crazy in my family, I suppose, but no one is quite mad; if that makes any sense at all.

Devendra Banhart is mad/insane ... but, in a good mad genius way. In an interview for The Portable-Infinite blog, this is how Banhart described what an upcoming concert will be like: “A lot of pregnant people. There will be pregnancies.

There will be babies. There will be little kids with big bellies. A lot of birthing and placentas. The floor will be one huge starry black placenta.”

W hat comes out of his mouth, just like his Freak-Folk music, is totally unique and totally strange. In interviews he spins fantastic lies and creates unbelievable descriptions of everyday events. He talked about skateboarding on a wolf and stea ling husbands f rom Venezuelan women in another inter v iew.

This is the person I want passing me more stuff ing on Thanksgiving.

He’d be great with the kids. Just listen to “I Feel like a Child” from his highly acclaimed Cripple Crow album ... but, don’t listen to “Little Boys.” For the older, sophisticated members of the family, he could wow them with his tales of living in Venezuela and France and of traveling throughout the supercontinent of Eurasia.

He’s even got something for the teenie-boppers. Last year, Banhart was seen occasionally canoodling with starlet Lindsay Lohan in LA. Yes, Dev Ban could wow them with his tales of everyone’s favorite mean girl.

Sure, he might be dirty, not wearing shoes and housing birds in his long, messy beard, but Thanksgiving is about different people coming together ... and that’s something to be thankful for.

CARLYE: D o n ’ t m a t t e r i f i t ’s a black or white ... cookie served at Thanksgiving dinner

I don’t l i ke i nt ro duci ng people to my entire family because it’s never act ua l ly an introduction. It’s more of an ... alien probe.

You know, where the silver staircase slowly descends from an oval-shaped disk-like spacecraft with a wooosh noise, and the human is dragged into the examination room, where aliens poke and prod at the poor earthling until they are given a sedative or truth serum.

Or something like that.

Naturally, with this type of family, I’d be uncomfortable to bring almost anyone around.

Anyone, that is, but Michael Jackson.

He’s quiet, soft-spoken and gentle. He would be nothing but sweet and polite to my crazy Jewish grandparents. Think about it — “Michael, did you enjoy the pumpkin pie?” “Whoo-hoo, I loved it!”

He can entertain. The fam is always begging for some form of entertainment before the tryptophan coma sets in, and a group rendition of “Bad” would be a pretty sweet alternative to that highly-overplayed childhood video of me screaming “I know what I want! I want Gro-verrrr,” while chomping on Sesame Street vitamins.

He would be great during our dinner conversation — if my great aunt has any questions about Botox, eyelifts or surgery of any kind, I’m quite confident that he could not only answer them, but recommend a handful of surgeons in the Chicagoland area.

The only bad thing would be that we’d have to ask him to stop grabbing his ... well, penis.

But, I’m sure he could behave. After all, there are no young boys in my extended family. So, L’chaim to you, the King of Pop and Child Molestation, and welcome to the Wisel-Pozin Thanksgiving dinner!

Mike Ingram wants to know what love is. He wants you to show him. He wants to feel what love is. He knows you can show him. You can do so at forgottenwords@gmail.com.

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A BUM TOLD ME “I HAVEN’T TASTED FOOD ALL WEEK.” I TOLD HIM “DON’T WORRY, IT STILL TASTES THE SAME!”

album REVIEWS BARRY MANILOW This One’s For You [Arista]

STEVE MAROVITCH • STAFF WRITER

For most college kids, the thought of having to listen to the entiret y of a Bar r y Manilow a lbum is on par w ith being ur inated on by a h ippopot a mu s. Wel l, I’ve been t i n k led on by a hippo and tr ust me, that was ak in t o e njoy i n g a g l a s s of a r t i s a n le mon a d e

compared to hav ing to l isten to Man i low’s recently re-released 1976 album This One’s For You. This is pop music from a dif ferent age, an age when qua l it y apparently d idn’t matter. How do I k now this? My mom l istens to it.

The album has four bonus tracks that were previously unreleased for good reason. The wor st of t he bonu s t r ack s, “I Rea l ly Do Write the Songs,” is a grating number about, well, how to write a corny Manilow-esque song. It’s like telling kids how to make an atomic bomb. It’s just dangerous. Another Barr y Manilow is the last thing the world needs right now.

Despite the awe-inspiring amount of crap on this album, there are a few genuinely good songs that may even appeal to today’s listeners.

“Say the Words” is an exceptionally orchestrated number with mellow bass and drums and cool vocal har monies. “See the Show Again” is a song with beautiful, unusual chord progressions, complex piano parts and great ’70s guitar accents.

The few good songs on this release can’t save it, however, from garish numbers like “Jump Shout Boogie,” a song that sounds as if it was lifted from a showy Las Vegas revue.

This One’s For You probably isn’t for you, at least not if you have taste. The expiration date on this album has long since passed. Leave this one for the baby boomers.

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LOU REED Coney Island Baby [RCA]

STEVE MAROVITCH • STAFF WRITER

Though Lou Reed has had a long and illustrious solo career, he is likely to be best remembered as singer/ songwriter of The Velvet Underground, that oh-sotrippy Andy Warhol-endorsed musical experience.

Yet his post-psychedelic, proto-punk roots in The Velvet Underground are only passingly evident in

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his most established solo album, Coney Island Baby, recently re-released by RCA for its 30-year anniversary. The new CD consists of the original eight tracks, as well as six bonus tracks, including previously unreleased versions of “Crazy Feeling,” “She’s My Best Friend” and “Coney Island Baby”.

Before releasing this album in 1976, Lou Reed was between a rock and a hard place due to a heated lawsuit regarding his previous effort, Metal Machine Music.

To avoid a life of destitution, Reed had to make a rock album that could sell; Coney Island Baby is that album.

Reed’s heartfelt lyrics stand out on the self-titled track, in which he explores everything from just wanting to fit in with the high school football team to his growing homosexual desires, all in under seven minutes.

His endearing low voice and spoken lyrics throughout the album remind me of Bob Dylan, another icon of ’70s rock who, like Reed, often uses New York City as a backdrop of musical influence.

The album opens with “Crazy Feeling,” one of my favorite Lou Reed songs. The genius hook, slide guitar and bells on this track are an addictively light-hearted departure from his darker previous works. Coney Island Baby presents a different Lou Reed than the one who sang for The Velvet Underground. Heavy songs about drug abuse and prostitution have been replaced with more polished, lighter-sounding fare. The material is far from mundane however, presenting earnest stories on Reed’s past trials and tribulations. This is a timeless album by one of America’s most underrated artists. The re-release is a must for any ’70s rock fan.

SEE ALBUM REVIEWS PG. 19

sounds from the scene

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THERE WAS A HOT GUY KNOCKING ON MY HOTEL ROOM DOOR ALL NIGHT! FINALLY, I LET HIM OUT.

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THIS WEEK AT

K R A N N E RT C E N T E R F O R T H E P E R F O R M I N G A RT S

FEATURED EVENTS The Promenade If you are looking for a unique gift, or a special treat for yourself, stop in at the Center’s Promenade gift shop. The Promenade carries fine art pieces and high-quality items, with a constantly changing stock of beautiful handcrafted items, creative toys, posters, T-shirts, jewelry, one-of-a-kind cards, delectable chocolates, and more.

Not sure what gift to get? Krannert Center’s CenterCheck gift certificates make great gifts.

CenterChecks, which never expire, may be used for purchases at Intermezzo Cafe, The Promenade gift shop, Interlude bar, and the Ticket Office. They’re available at The Promenade and the Ticket Office, and you may also purchase them through our online ticket office.

Tu Nov 28

We Nov 29

Th Nov 30

Jazz Band III 7:30pm, $2-$8

Murder Mystery Dinner 6:30pm, $7-$12

Krannert Uncorked 5pm, free

Jazz Band II 7:30pm, $2-$8

UI Wind Symphony, Circus Maximus 7:30pm, $2-$8

Enjoy Krannert Center to the fullest!

Intermezzo Breakfast, lunch, supper, dessert 7:30am-3:30pm on non-performance weekdays 7:30am through performances on weekdays 90 minutes before and through performances on weekends

The Promenade gift shop is located just off the Krannert Center lobby, and is open 10am to 6pm Monday through Saturday and one hour before until 30 minutes after all performances.

217/333-8300 In addition to the great times awaiting you at The Promenade and Intermezzo, proceeds from your purchases are invested right back into the performances you see on Krannert Center stages -- and that’s a gift for us all. On behalf of our community, we thank you.

Interlude Cocktails and conversation 90 minutes before and through performances Now open at 4pm Thursday and Friday!

The Promenade Gifts, cards, candy, and more 10am-6pm Monday-Saturday One hour before to 30 minutes after performances

333.6280 8 0 0 . K C PAT I X

Patron Season Sponsors Dolores and Roger Yarbrough

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council— a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

sounds from the scene

Corporate Power Train Team Engine Members

40˚ North and Krannert Center, working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

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WED. NOV 22 THE BUZZ LOGO MARKS THE SPOT FOR BUZZ PICKS

Live Bands Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub, 7pm, free The Movement, P.E.T.R.O., Bri, Twick G Canopy Club 8pm, $8

Krukid Triple Whip Canopy Club, free Nov. 28, 12 a.m.

The bewitching hour, 12 o’clock. Yes, I remember the days of kindergarten slumber parties when we would hide beneath our sleeping bags the whole 60 seconds until the clock read 12:01 a.m. Saved from the horrible ghosts and spirits which whip around the globe that minute, we’d laugh and congratulate ourselves on our acts of valor, bravery and bad-assedness.

Krukid

Of course, like the majority of childhood, it was filled with contradiction. On New Year’s, that minute was totally acceptable, as were other times I would inadvertently stay up late. That’s neither here nor there because it’s college and in college midnight is as insignificant as those stupid discussion sections we never go to on Friday. But wait, don’t let the magic slip betwixt your fingers and fly away like the golden snitch! Don’t let your apathy destroy your mind like the stare of a Dementor! Don’t let me continue to make Harry Potter references! Bring back the mystery and the significance of midnight.

How, you ask? Go to the Canopy Club to experience the wonder of their Tuesday night Rehearsal Spaces. Feel the excitement of a free show and the magic of a potent Long Island iced tea. Most importantly, dig on the music.

Playing this week is Triple Whip, the bass-drum girl-girl duo that rocks in time signatures you could never understand. Plus, Krukid, resident mad emcee of CU, will let the rhymes rip. The fun starts at midnight; don’t be a chicken.

— Brian McGovern

DJ DJ Stifler Highdive, 8pm cover Ladies’ Night with DJ Supa Nargile, 9pm, ladies free before 11pm Tropicale Wednesdays: DJ Bris, DJ Delayney Soma Ultralounge, 9pm, no cover before 10pm/$5 Hit It Run Old School Party Soma Ultralounge 9pm, cover Dancing Tango and Salsa Dancing [Lesson at 7:30pm, followed by tango dancing from 8-10:30pm. Salsa dancing until 2am.] Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, no cover Learn Traditional Greek Dance Armory Building, 8pm Sporting events Illinois Women’s Basketball vs. Northern Colorado Assembly Hall, 7pm Recreation Lunch & Bowling [For $32, four people can rent shoes, bowl a game, get fountain drinks from the snack counter and enjoy a large 18” pizza from Sbarro. Please reserve your lane at least one day in advance.] Illini Union, 12pm

THU. NOV 23 Live Bands Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern 9pm, no cover DJ Limbs [Hip hop, breaks and party music.] Boltini Lounge, 10:30pm, no cover Dancing Contra Dance [All dances are taught (walked-through) prior to dancing. Wear comfortable clothing and bring a pair of clean, soft-soled shoes.] Phillips Recreation Center, 8pm IN

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Free Swing Dance McKinley Church and Foundation 9:30pm Karaoke Eric Boley’s Boneyard Karaoke Memphis on Main 7:30pm, cover Recreation Lunch & Bowling Illini Union, 12pm Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Mind/Body/Spirit Relaxation Room at OASIS McKinley Health Center 10am, UIUC students free/$5 faculty and staff Krannert Uncorked [Sample beverages with partners Sun Singer Wine & Sprits, The Corkscrew

FRI. NOV 24 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues restaurant, 11:30am Leigh Meador Iron Post 5pm, $2 Lynn O’Brien Canopy Club 7pm, $7 Bob, Dan & Joni Hubers, 8pm Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Concerts Community/Campus Women’s Music Series, Concert I [Concert series to promote local women in the arts and fundraiser for the Center for Women in Transition.] Independent Media Center, 8pm

Film “Rites of the Season” [Takes viewers on an exploration of the winter solstice and the cultural events that accompany this time of year.] William M. Staerkel Planetarium, 8pm

DJ Bris Mueller Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $5 DJ Tim Williams Highdive 10pm, $5

Recreation Turkey Skate at UI Ice Arena Ice Arena, 11:30am Lunch & Bowling Illini Union 12pm

Film “Rites of the Season” William M. Staerkel Planetarium 8pm

Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Mind/Body/Spirit Relaxation Room at OASIS McKinley Health Center 10am, UIUC students free/$5 faculty and staff

Salvation Army Bell Ringers The holiday season is just about here, which means you will see the familiar Salvation Army red kettles throughout Champaign County.

Individuals and groups are needed to ring bells to raise funds for the Salvation Army’s programs throughout the year. Programs include the Christmas Toy Shop and the Homeless Shelter. Volunteers are needed between 10 a.m. and 9 p.m. through Dec. 23. For more information contact Major John Turner at John_Turner@usc. salvationarmy.org or 373-7832.

Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Around the World Wednesdays [Spurlock Museum’s Learning Center opens its doors for children and their parents to create and learn together.] The Spurlock Museum, 9:30am, $2 donation requested Toddler Time: Thanksgiving [Children ages 2-4 with an adult are invited to celebrate Thanksgiving with books, songs and a craft.] Urbana Free Library 10:30am, free Mind/Body/Spirit Relaxation Room at OASIS [Visit the relaxation room to enjoy a 20-minute guided imagery experience while taking a break from the hectic demands of your day.] McKinley Health Center, 10am, UIUC students free/$5 faculty and staff

PHOTOS COURTESY OF WWW.MYSPACE.COM

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The Virtues Iron Post 8pm, cover Fuedin’ Hillbillys Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover The Brat Pack: ’80s Retro/ Party Chief’s Bar and Grill 9:30pm

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9m

Sporting events Illinois Women’s Basketball vs. Saint Joseph’s Assembly Hall, 12pm Miscellaneous Lincoln Square Village Holiday Market [Shoppers will find produce, baked goods, holiday gifts, crafts, plants and more.] Lincoln Square Mall, 9am See the “real sky” with telescopes [See the stars and planets through the dome’s 16-inch telescope or view through others’ telescopes.] CUAS Observatory, 4pm, free Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Mind/Body/Spirit Relaxation Room at OASIS Illini Union, 12pm, UIUC students free/$5 faculty and staff Poetry/Readings B. Joseph White [Please join us as B. Joseph White stops by to sign his new book, “The Nature of Leadership.”] Pages for All Ages, 3pm Volunteer Crisis Nursery Annual Children Holiday Shop [Fundraiser for Crisis Nursery.

This shop allows children to shop for gifts for their families and friends within their own budget. Volunteers assist the children, toddlers through age 12, to fill their shopping list from the items priced between $1-$7.] Lincoln Square Mall, 10am

SUN. NOV 26

Wine Emporium, Friar Tuck Beverage, Jim Gould and Persimmon Grocery.

Beverages may be tasted free of charge and will be available for purchase by the glass at a special discounted price during the tasting.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 5pm Yoga & Meditation Class [Dada Madhuvidyananda, a Yogic Monk and teacher, will lead.] Ananda Liina Yoga & Meditation Center 7:30pm, free

Live Bands Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm Planes Mistaken for Stars with North Atlantic Canopy Club 9pm, $6 Rob McColley & the Heather Iron Post, 9pm, cover DJ DJ Bozak (Red Bull Music Academy) Soma Ultralounge 9pm, $5 Hip-Hop and R&B DJ Nargile, 9pm, free until 10pm/$5 DJ Mertz Boltini Lounge 10pm, free DJ Stifler, DJ Tim Williams Highdive, 10pm, $5 Dancing Contra Dance Phillips Recreation Center, 8pm Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke American Legion Post 71 8pm, free

SAT. NOV 25 Live Bands Christina Marshall Pages for All Ages, 1pm, free Dave Dreyer Band Hubers 8pm Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Seven Year Existence with Zero Base, Habit of Force, Redeeming Damnation and Resurgence Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 DJ DJ Bozak (Red Bull Music Academy) Soma Ultralounge 9pm, $5 Hip-Hop and R&B DJ Nargile 9pm, free until 10pm/$5

sounds from the scene

Concerts Messiah Sing-Along [Baroque Artists of CU present Handel’s Messiah, a Christmas classic.] McKinley Church and Foundation, 4pm, $5 Dancing UC Hip Hop Congress [Come to practice/learn breakdancing from our team members.] Allen Residence Hall, 2pm Lectures/Discussions “Journey to Cambodia” [A slide show about Cambodia’s history, culture and current issues with Bhavia Wagner.] Friends Meetinghouse, 1pm

Miscellaneous Sinai Temple Gift Shop Chanukah Showcase [Shop for things you need to celebrate Chanukah.] Sinai Temple, 9am

art & theater

Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Volunteer Crisis Nursery Annual Children Holiday Shop Lincoln Square Mall. 12pm

MON. NOV 27 Live Bands Jazz Jam with MRS Trio Iron Post, 6pm, cover Michael Davis [Singer/Keyboardist] Bentley’s Pub 7pm Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Lectures/Discussions “Starting an Artistic Business: Where and How to Get the Money” [Peter Hackbert from the Academy for Entrepreneurial Leadership will talk about who values art and where to find them.] Smith Hall, 6:30pm “Not Hear to Stay: The De-localization of Place in Afroperuvian Musical Cultures” [Brown Bag Lunch lecture series featuring Kirstie Dorr, AASRP Chancellor’s Postdoctoral Fellow.] African-American Studies Building, 12pm “The Effects of Environmental Chemicals on the Female Reproductive System” [Dr. Jodi Flaws, PhD, Department of Veterinary Biosciences, CVM, UIUC will speak.]

80 Small Animal Clinic 12pm, free Recreation Lunch & Bowling Illini Union, 12pm Comedy DeBono Improv Comedy Troupe Courtyard Cafe, 9pm, free Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Mind/Body/Spirit Relaxation Room at OASIS McKinley Health Center 10am, UIUC students free/$5 faculty and staff

TUE. NOV 28 Live Bands Rehearsal Space : Krukid, Triple Whip Canopy Club, 12am Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues restaurant, 11:30am Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover Concerts Jazz Band III [Marcus Wolfe leads for an evening of jazz.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm, $2 students/$8 public

Paintings by R.J. Karlstrom [Artist R.J. Karlstrom has added three paintings to the “Dancer” series, now exhibiting at Cowboy Monkey.

The series of colorful women in movement compliments the wide variety of entertainment and dancing “the Monkey” offers. Exhibit will continue indefinitely.] Cowboy Monkey, Nov. 22 Decorative and Musical Art of the 17th-19th Centuries [This exhibition features four of the 11 known decorated instruments made by Stradivari, on loan from the Smithsonian Institution. The exquisite marquetry and ornamental design of these masterpieces typify the sophistication of baroque decorative art.] Krannert Art Museum through Dec. 3 All-Terrain: Perspectives on Landscape [A group exhibit of contemporary landscape art from realistic watercolor paintings to miniature isolated environmental sculptures to kitsch clouds and romantic sunsets.] Parkland Art Gallery through Dec. 7

DJ DJs Hoff and Bambino [Hard Rock/Punk] Mike ‘N Molly’s 10pm DJ Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm Subversion with DJ TwinScin & DJ Evily Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ Delayney Cowboy Monkey 10pm Chris O [A blend of downtempo and deep house.]

Boltini Lounge, 10:30pm no cover Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9pm Karaoke with Randy Miller Bentley’s Pub, 9:30pm, free Lectures/Discussions “Organic Chemistry Final Defense With Mr. Vitali Nesterenko” Roger Adams Lab 1:30pm, free “Stable Cooperative Agent Distributions in Biology and Engineering” [Applications to the theory to a multi-vehicle cooperative surveillance problem and honey bee social foraging are discussed with speaker, Kevin M. Passino.] Coordinated Science Laboratory, 2pm “Surface-Driven Orientational Transitions in Liquid Crystals” [Lecture presented by Professor Nick Abbot, U. of Wisconsin.] Roger Adams Laboratory, 3pm

Conversations About Something [An ongoing project started in 2001, consisting of approximately 350 9” x 12” mixed media collages displayed in plastic zip lock bags.] Illinois Program for Research in the Humanities through Dec. 8 New Tricks by the Old Dogs [A show of new artwork by 12 retired faculty artists from the University of Illinois: Ed Betts, Roger Blakley, Glenn Bradshaw, Harry Breen, David Bushman, Don Frith, Frank Gallo, Leo Grucza, Frank Gunter, Kenneth Lansing, James Lynch and Dennis Rowan.] Cinema Gallery through Dec. 23 A Saint in the City: Sufi Arts of Urban Senegal [This exhibition explores the arts and expressive culture of Islamic West Africa through a dynamic and influential movement in Senegal known as the Mouride Way. “A Saint in the City” introduces audiences to the striking range of popular Mouride art from large murals, intricate glass paintings and calligraphic healing devices to posters for social activism, colorful textiles and paintings by internationally known contemporary artists.] Krannert Art Museum through Dec. 31

“Systems Neurogenetics: Population Systems Biology of Brain and Behavior” [Elissa Chesler, Mammalian Genetics and Genomics, Oak Ridge National Laboratory.] Beckman Institute, 4pm Townhall Meeting on Global Campus Initiative [Illinois Student Senate hosts. Special Assistant to President B. Joseph White will lead a discussion on the Global Campus Initiative.] Illini Union, 7pm “Mothers’ Mobilization Against Disappearances: Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo and Saturday Mothers” [A Brown Bag Lunch and Lecture series featuring Meltem YilmazSener.] Foreign Languages Building, 12pm Film “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” (2006) Virginia Theatre, 7pm, $2 Workshops “What’s Hot, What’s Not” [In this safer sex workshop, facilitators engage the audience to consider ways to eroticize safer sex. Different sexual behaviors, techniques and sex toys are discussed in this program with an emphasis on “Safe sex is fun sex.”] La Casa Cultural Latina, 7pm

Surrealist Interventions: Selections from Krannert Art Museum and the University of Illinois Library [This exhibition pairs Surrealist paintings, photographs, prints and drawings from the Krannert Art Museum collection with the movement’s experiments in print culture from manifestos and tracts to elaborately designed serials and books on loan from the University of Illinois Library. ] Krannert Art Museum through Dec. 31 When We Were Young: New Perspectives on the Art of the Child [“When We Were Young” juxtaposes selected childhood works of preeminent historical artists with modern and contemporary children’s drawings to demonstrate their inventiveness and to explore the criteria used for assessing prodigious artistic talent in the very young.] Krannert Art Museum through Dec. 31

Sporting events Illinois Men’s Basketball vs. Maryland Assembly Hall, 6pm Recreation Red Pin Tuesdays [Strike when the head pin is red and win a free game.] Illini Union, 6:30pm Meetings Women’s Support Group [A support group for female students who have experienced sexual assault/ abuse within a relationship.] Women’s Studies House, 6:30pm Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Mind/Body/Spirit Relaxation Room at OASIS McKinley Health Center, 10am, UIUC students free/$5 faculty and staff

WED. NOV 29 Live Bands Parkland Jazz Combo Iron Post, 5:30pm, cover Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub, 7pm, free Holly Holmes and Chris Reyman Iron Post, 8pm, cover Fuedin’ Hillbillys Rose Bowl

Attention Bartenders: for entry to or call 217.352.9756.

BARTENDERS BALL III immediately following

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Tavern, 9pm, no cover Perpetual Groove Canopy Club 9pm, $8 in advance Concerts Jazz Band II [Jim Pugh will lead an evening of jazz.]

Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm, $2 students/$8 public DJ DJ Stifler Highdive, 8pm, cover Ladies’ Night with DJ Supa Nargile 9pm, ladies free before 11pm Tropicale Wednesdays: DJ Bris, DJ Delayney Soma Ultralounge 9pm, no cover before 10pm/$5 Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey 7:30pm Learn Traditional Greek Dance Armory Building, 8pm Lectures/Discussions “The Netherlands: The Rise and Fall of Digital Rights Management” [Ton Kalker of the Hewlett-Packard Laboratories & Technical University of Eindhoven will speak.] Beckman Institute, 4pm “A Comprehensive Cyberenvironment for Infectious Disease Informatics: Surveillance, Modeling, and Response” [Dr. Ian Brooks will lecture.] Veterinary Medicine Basic Sciences Building, 4pm, free “GFT Projection NMR: Applications in Structural Biology” [A Physical Chemistry Seminar presents Professor Thomas Szyperski, Suny-Buffalo.] Chemistry Annex, 4pm, free

EAT MY SHORTS. Child Development Brownbag Lecture [Marc McConney, graduate student, Department of Educational Psychology will lecture.] Education Building 12pm, free “Race, Class, Gender and Situational Aspects of the Body” Gender and Women’s Studies Building, 12pm, free

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venues Assembly Hall | First & Kirby, Champaign 333-5000 American Legion Post 24 | 705 W Bloomington, Champaign 356-5144 American Legion Post 71 | 107 N Broadway, Urbana 367-3121 Barfly | 120 N Neil, Champaign 352-9756 Boltini Lounge | 211 N Neil, Champaign 378-8001 Boardman’s Art Theater | 126 W Church, Champaign 351-0068 The Brass Rail | 15 E University, Champaign 352-7512 The Canopy Club (Garden Grill) | 708 S Goodwin, Urbana 367-3140 Channing-Murray Foundation | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana CIVITAS | 112 Main St., Urbana The Courtyard | Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana 333-4666 Cowboy Monkey | 6 Taylor, Champaign 3982688 Curtis Orchard | 3902 S Duncan, Champaign 359-5565 D.R. Diggers | 604 S Country Fair, Champaign 356-0888 Elmer’s Club 45 | 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana 344-3101 Embassy Tavern & Grill | 114 S Race, Urbana 384-9526 Esquire Lounge | 106 N Walnut, Champaign 398-5858 Fallon’s Ice House | 703 N Prospect, Champaign 398-5760 Fat City Saloon | 505 S Chestnut, Champaign 356-7100 The Great Impasta | 114 W Church, Champaign 359-7377 The High-

Workshops Proposal Writing Workshop Gregory Hall, 12pm Recreation Lunch & Bowling Illini Union 12pm Miscellaneous Crop Sciences Public Exhibition [The students of the University of Illinois’ Crop Sciences 116 course present an exhibition of their work. Learn about various crops of the world, taste various items created from these crops and view Web sites they created.]

Illini Union, 6pm Quiet Study Halls African-American Cultural Center, 8pm Guitar Hero Night Cowboy Monkey, 10:30pm Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Around the World Wednesday The Spurlock Museum, 9:30am, $2 donation requested

dive | 51 Main, Champaign 359-4444 Huber’s | 1312 W Church, Champaign 352-0606 Illinois Disciples Foundation | 610 E Springfield, Champaign 3528721 Independent Media Center | 218 W Main, Urbana 344-8820 The Iron Post | 120 S Race, Urbana 337-7678 Jackson’s Ribs-n-tips | 116 N First, Champaign 355-2916 Joe’s Brewery | 706 S Fifth, Champaign 384-1790 Krannert Art Museum | 500 E Peabody, Champaign 333-1861 Krannert Center for the Performing Arts | 500 S Goodwin, Urbana Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX La Casa Cultural Latina | 1203 W Nevada, Urbana 333-4950 Lava | 1906 W Bradley, Champaign 352-8714 Les’s Lounge | 403 N Coler, Urbana 328-4000 Lincoln Castle | 209 S Broadway, Urbana 3447720 Malibu Bay Lounge | North Route 45, Urbana 328-7415 Mike ‘n Molly’s | 105 N Market, Champaign 355-1236 Nargile | 207 W Clark, Champaign Neil Street Pub | 1505 N Neil, Champaign 359-1601 The Office | 214 W Main, Urbana 344-7608 OPENSOURCE |12 E. Washington, Champaign http://opensource.boxwith.com Parkland College | 2400 W Bradley, Champaign 351-2528

Phoenix | 215 S Neil, Champaign 3557866 Pia’s of Rantoul | Route 136 E, Rantoul 893-8244 Red Herring/Channing-Murray Foundation | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana 344-1176 Rose Bowl Tavern | 106 N Race, Urbana 367-7031 Side Bar | 55 E. Main, Champaign 398-5760 Springer Cultural Center | 301 N Randolph, Champaign 398-2376 Spurlock Museum | 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 The Station Theatre |223 N Broadway, Urbana 384-4000 Strawberry Fields Cafe | 306 W Springfield, Urbana 328-1655 TK Wendl’s | 1901 S Highcross, Urbana 255-5328 Tommy G’s | 123 S Mattis, Country Fair Shopping Center 359-2177 TRACKS | 116 N Chestnut, Champaign 762-8116 University YMCA | 1001 S Wright, Champaign 344-0721 URBANA CIVIC Center | 108 Water St., Urbana Verde/Verdant | 17 E Taylor, Champaign 366-3204 Virginia Theatre | 203 W Park Ave, Champaign 356-9053 Wake The Dead Cafe | 1210 E. Eldorado St. Decatur 233-4525 Washington Street Pub | 600 S. Washington, Tuscola 253-6850 White Horse Inn | 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign 352-5945 Zorba’s | 627 E Green, Champaign 344-0710

Mind/Body/Spirit Relaxation Room at OASIS McKinley Health Center, 10am, UIUC students free/$5 faculty and staff Living Lean Illini Union

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THE HOLIDAY SEASON COMES TO CU WITH

THE NUTCRACKER JEFF NELSON • STAFF WRITER

O

ne of the enduring performance icons of the holiday season is Tchaikovsky’s ballet The Nutcracker. CU’s own Krannert Center is not immune from the temptation to give a performance or two of this classic as Christmas approaches. On Dec. 2, 3, 9 and 10, the Krannert Center will present a local production of The Nutcracker with the Champaign Urbana Ballet and the Sinfonia da Camera.

For four years running, this December tradition has become a staple of Krannert’s programming. In fact, performances of The Nutcracker dominate so many Christmas programs today that it is hard to imagine that this masterwork did not have a happy beginning.

In the mid-1870s, Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky (1840-1891), was asked by Vladimir Begichev, the head of the Imperial Theater of St. Petersburg, to write what would a series of three ballets.

Sleeping Beauty, Swan Lake and The Nutcracker eventually become the three greatest ballets ever written, but in their day their reception was at best tepid. They had a following, but most ballet connoisseurs found Tchaikovsky’s ballets “too symphonic” and their performances of minimal interest.

Nevertheless, they slowly developed an audience, and in 1891 Tchaikovsky was asked to compose a double bill of a one-act opera and a ballet. That new opera would be Yolanta and the ballet would be The Nutcracker. It was not a project he took to with enthusiasm, and it was not until December 1892 that the SEE NUTCRACKER PG. 14 PHOTO COURTESY OF BRIDGET LEE CALFAS

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OH, DEAR GOD. CAN’T THIS TOWN GO ONE DAY WITHOUT A RIOT?

NUTCRACKER CONTINUED FROM PG. 13 program had its premiere. It could have been worse, but the initial reception of both works was again lukewarm, with the opera getting the more favorable reception. Tchaikovsky himself wrote after the opening, “The success was not absolute.

Apparently, the opera gives pleasure, but the ballet not really.” Could he really be talking about our beloved Nutcracker? Does anyone today listen or see Yolanta? What went wrong?

To begin with, Tchaikovsky was saddled with a story to adapt to the ballet stage that was not of his type or choosing: E.T.A. Hoffman’s story The Nutcracker and the Mouse King. During a year and a half of struggling over the composition of the ballet, he never was comfortable with his source material and slowly overwhelmed it with the sheer virtuosity of his musical gifts. He would write to his brother while halfway through completing the project, “I am working extremely hard and am beginning to reconcile myself to the subject of the ballet.”

At the ballet’s premiere, the richness of the music was well-received, but purists again found

his ballet “too symphonic” and his version of Hoffman’s story not faithful enough. So much for opening nights. In the hands of more progressive choreographers like Sergei Diaghilev and symphony orchestras who loved the sheer beauty of the music, his three ballets slowly became contenders for top spots among the world’s most played and performed ballets. By the late 1920s, they had become the most highly regarded and The Nutcracker was slowly becoming the quintessential Christmas ballet. In 1940, when Walt Disney chose to include The Nutcracker as a critical portion of his animated classic Fantasia, its status with the general public was secure.

Today, Tchaikovsky’s one-act opera, Yolanta, is occasionally performed and three recordings of it are on CD. Remember, this was the work on that 1892 double bill that “gives pleasure.” More than 800 CDs exist with some portion of The Nutcracker on it, including almost 20 performances of the complete ballet and more than 200 performances of the suite, or a series of excerpts from the ballet.

If somehow you cannot catch any of the four performances at Krannert and you have to see it,

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you are in luck. Around 30 DVDs exist which claim the title Nutcracker. Be warned, some of these have a marginal connection, such as two different Barbie Nutcrackers for Barbie and Ken fans, and a Care Bears version of The Nutcracker. For those who have no sense of ritual purity, there is the Nuttiest Nutcracker featuring the likes of James Belushi, Phyllis Diller and Cheech Marin.

For purists, several first rate DVDs include a 1972 production by the Royal Ballet with Rudolf Nureyev, a 1977 studio production of the American Ballet Theater with Mikhail Baryshnikov, and George Balanchine’s Nutcracker with the New York City Ballet, featuring an amazing non-dancing role from the then child superstar Macaulay Culkin. Don’t leave out the Russians either from their own material, as both the Kirov and Bolshoi Ballet companies have recorded performances of the complete Nutcracker.

For just the facts, check out the A&E biography of Peter Tchaikovsky. For tickets to the upcoming local production, contact the Krannert Center at www.krannertcenter.com or 333-6280.

FILM

A GOOD YEAR

TURISTAS

SYD SLOBODNIK • STAFF WRITER

JEFF GROSS • STAFF WRITER

Ridley Scott’s A Good Year is a leisurely-paced, romantic comedy about a high-powered London stock trader who inherits his late uncle’s estate and vineyard in Provence, France and slowly realizes that there is more to life than chasing money.

Russell Crowe is Max Skinner, a self described bastard, Machiavellian businessman who doesn’t trust anyone and calls his colleagues “lab rats.”

The only person he ever really loved was his late uncle, with whom he spent many of his summers as a boy. Crowe is completely charming in one of his more likable roles, even playing slapstick comedy effectively, navigating a micro-compact rent-a-car with French GPS instructions and falling into a mud-filled swimming pool.

And while most men will enjoy the abundance of beautiful women who Max encounters during his work at the French countryside, the film’s male gaze is not just escapist male fantasy; the film is a celebration of all things beautiful in life. Cinematographer Philippe Le Sourd’s camera captures so many breathtaking views of lush countryside and quaint, small town settings that it’ll make you want to plan your next vacation there.

Marc Klein’s screenplay is most poignant in the flashbacks when Max recalls life lessons his Uncle Henry gave in times of fun and games. In a type of role the Academy gives career Oscars for, Albert Finney is wonderfully full of life.

These scenes seem to be magically triggered by Max’s sense memories: a sound of his uncle’s voice, the volley of tennis balls, a smell of wine, special writing ink or another significant visual image.

A Good Year, which will be appreciated more by an older audience, like a fine vintage wine, is such an enjoyably pleasant experience. It’s certainly not what you might expect from the team that created Gladiator.

Turistas is the worst movie that I can recall viewing in a long, long time. Take this with a grain of salt, dear reader, for I have seen my share of bad movies, including one about condoms that eat people. But this movie isn’t just bad, it’s terrible. It’s boring, cliché, drawn out and 2-D. If there was a prize for most formulaic horror movie ever, this movie would probably win.

This movie follows three upper middle class white Americans (a brother, his sister and his sister’s friend ... guess who dies) who go to Brazil for vacation. Add in two British tourists (both male), a romantic interest for the aforementioned brother and two Australian tourists (one male, one female). There’s no need to bother with their names, however, as there’s literally no character development in the film. Well, there you have it — a cast of kill fodder for a crazy doctor bent on harvesting the organs of tourists. Unfortunately, you won’t discover this until the last half hour of the film. This isn’t a spoiler, however. The film is just poorly paced and keeps the tourists somewhat aimlessly wandering around the forest until they meet him. If it was intended as a twist, I highly recommend that the filmmakers enroll in a community college and take a course in simple storytelling.

Turistas is nothing more than a boring play of three acts. The first act is the tourists arriving on the Brazilian beach, drinking heavily. The second act is when they all have their stuff stolen and must find help, being led to the crazy doctor’s abode by a shady guide. The third act is the tourists running away from the deranged surgeon, with only a few escaping. End of movie; nothing more.

Based on its trailer, I was under the impression that Turistas was a disturbing horror film. However, the only thing disturbing about this movie is that it will get a nationwide theatrical release in December, while films like Terry Gilliam’s Tideland are lost in limbo.

PHOTO COURTESY OF ROTTENTOMATOES.COM

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STRANGER! YOU’RE TRESSPASSIN’ ON MY DIRT FARM!

FILM

TOP 10 UNDERRATED FILMS

TOP 10 OVERRATED FILMS

BABEL

JEFF GROSS • STAFF WRITER

SCOTT FRANKEL • STAFF WRITER

Overrated films? C’mon. We’ve all seen them, we’ve all heard about them. That’s why they’re overrated! You should be watching something new this holiday break. So, without further ado, here’s a list of the top 10 underrated films on DVD (you know, films you should all rent).

These movies made the list based on my 4!9,/2 342%%4 $/7.4/7. #(!-0!)'. personal observations and experiences. But let WWW COWBOY MONKEY COM 0( me ask you one question: If you were stranded on an island without family, friends or movie 3!4 ./6 critic input ... would these movies really be ĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠ ĂŠ , -ĂŠ 1 , worth their praise?

10 MATCH POINT (2005) Best film of the year, ’nuff said.

ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ / ], /" 10 THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS (2001) I don’t know why people love this -/. ./6 movie. Maybe it’s because they were able to look past the slow-moving story and

family incest.

TIM PETERS • STAFF WRITER

For Alejandro Gonzålez Iùåritu, and for his monolithic hyperlink fi lm Babel, humanity’s fall is not being cast out of Eden and away from some moral purity. Rather, it is that later passage of Genesis — of being scattered from Babylon and from each other, with our languages confused, and our unifying project dismantled.

The ensemble characters of Babel, in their three disparate global locations and in their fateful, oblivious connections to one another, are always struggling to return to that point of unity, to a bond of understanding and love.

Iùåritu gives us three intense, indescribably aesthetic narratives of people pressed to extremes because of bad luck, hard fate and risky choices. But he contrasts the improbable with the common, letting us indulge in his characters a nd t he i r id io s y nc r a t ic c u lt u r e s — a t a Mexican wedding, a Japanese dance club and a meal in a Moroccan village. With patient closeups, we see subtle gestures and expressive faces. Or in silence, as Iùåritu often cuts out the soundtrack, we have to just gaze at his characters, frequently in their worst moments of panic and anguish.

Iùåritu synthesizes this international triptych through his unique, subtle editing — which overlaps the asynchronous stories — and with Gustavo Santaolalla’s sparse, driving instrumental score.

Through montage and careful background detail and surreal panoramas of cities and deserts, we are pulled from one location to another without being disoriented.

Babel could be accused of trying to tie together too much and of losing itself in compacted, exotic excess and foreseeable character transformations.

Yet it does so much more by letting us see the absurd consequences of globalization and our new Babel, and by letting us look at how we are all still trying to reach each other and express ourselves; to fi nd something while wandering through these empty, modern deserts.

ĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠĂŠ - - ] , 1 ]

OPEN MIC NIGHT

9 LEON: THE PROFESSION (1994) Action master Luc Besson directed this wonderful, but little-known, action flick.

Gary Oldman plays one of his best roles.

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9 PULP FICTION (1994) 45% ./6 It was a unique movie, but people get so ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ $* $%,!9.%9 angry if you don’t like it. This ruins any joy that could possibly come out of such 7%$ ./6 a film.

8 CITY OF LOST CHILDREN (1995) Why is this one underrated? Because you haven’t heard of it before.

7 ROBOCOP (1987) The terminator’s cousin needs some lovin’ too.

He kicks crime’s ass and eats baby formula for dinner. The true badass robot man.

6 HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER (1986) Monster, eat your heart out.You ain’t got nothing on Michael Rooker. Be warned, however, this movie is disturbing.

5 HIGH ANXIETY (1978) One of Mel Brooks’ best and most unknown comedies. It’s the ultimate Hitchcock parody and it’s finally available on DVD! 4 VIDEODROME (1983) How many different top 10 lists is it going to take to convince you guys to see this movie?

James Woods!

3 TRAINSPOTTING (1996) Blow me, Requiem For A Dream. I’ll take a heroin-addicted Ewan McGregor and an amazing soundtrack over you any day.

8

THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985) People come from seeing this film and suddenly have a revelation; I don’t understand why. No, TBC does not deserve to be abbreviated and it does not come to a resolving conclusion.

7

ALI (2001) Too much of Muhummad Ali’s life was crammed in, making it less enjoyable.

Audiences don’t need to like a movie just because it’s directed by Michael Mann and outlines Ali’s life.

6

LOST IN TRANSLATION (2003) Sophia Coppola may have won an Oscar, but her script was just flat-out boring.

5 GOSFORD PARK (2001) It’s surprising that this film won an Oscar with its trite concept and boring characters.

4 SUPER TROOPERS (2001) Not funny. The comedy is just not funny enough to constantly hear lines from.

2 BRAZIL (1985) It’s got a stacked cast fueled under the direction and mind of Monty Python alumnus Terry Gilliam. A frighteningly bleak comedy about the future (1984, the comedy). See it twice!

1 MULHOLLAND DRIVE (2001) Seriously, if you haven’t see this movie before, rent it. Ron Howard stole David Lynch’s Oscar. Easily the most confusing, haunting, beautiful and visually stimulating movie ever made.

PHOTO COURTESY OF ROTTENTOMATOES.COM

15

Honorable Mention — The Godfather Part II (1972). I’m seriously sick of people raving on and on about how The Godfather is the best film in history. Part Two is so much better.

3

L.A. CONFIDENTIAL (1997) People don’t realize that there are better movies with similar concepts. And because of this, people tend to hold this movie high on their lists

2

THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998) People love it because they’re told to love it, not because they actually do. Stop recommending it to me.

1

NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (2004) There’s no plot, no conflict and the constantly repeated lines haunt me in my sleep.

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jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

“Case Sensitive”--they want attention? WE’LL GIVE ‘EM ATTENTION. Across 1 THEY APPEAR AFTER BRAND NAMES: ABBR. 4 CARVEY AND GOULD 9 SITE OF A TEXAN TRAGEDY 13 ___ TZU (TOY DOG) 14 PUT IN A SEAT 15 MILKY GEM 16 ELIZABETH OF “TRANSAMERICA” 17 MAGAZINE WITH A “CAR OF THE YEAR” AWARD 19 e.e. cummings MEMOIR OF 1922, WITH “THE” 21 WORD BEFORE CROSS OR SKIING

22 HEAT’S GP. 23 MEADOW CALL 26 “___ DEATH” (BRAD GARRETT SITCOM) 27 BODY SHOT 30 LAWN TOOLS 32 GOES OFF COURSE 35 KISS IN A KIA 36 FEMINIST WORK BY bell hooks 39 PARAKEET’S PAD 41 THEY MAY BE NICKNAMED “BIG JIM AND THE TWINS” 43 SPREAD THE JOY 46 HIP ENDING 47 SORORITY LETTER 49 WORD BEFORE HANGING UP 50 JOHNNY ___ (THE COPS)

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kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

52 SQUARE-___ (KIND OF BOAT) 54 k.d. lang ALBUM OF 1995 57 PROP FOR LIBERACE 60 OTHER, IN OVIEDO 61 “PET” THAT NEEDS A LOT OF WATER 62 B.A.’S GROUP, WITH “THE” 63 APPEARANCE 64 PLACID 65 RULES OF PUNCTUATION, E.G. 66 KIND OF RECORDING FORMAT: ABBR. Down 1 1980S AD VILLAIN WHO TRIED TO RUIN PIZZA 2 SMALL-TIME

3 ARCHAEOLOGIST’S FRAGMENT 4 BOXER, NOTABLY 5 EX-GIANTS OUTFIELDER MOISES 6 BADMINTON BARRIERS 7 NUT IN A HAT 8 DISCO 9 TEQUILA BOTTLE ITEM 10 MIGHTY JOE YOUNG, E.G. 11 PRESERVE 12 DIRTY ___ MAN 13 WORN OUT 18 ANIMAL LICKED FOR ITS BUFOTOXINS 20 ADD TO THE CONCOCTION 23 “LET’S SEE SOME SPIRIT!” 24 PATH WHEN PLAYING CATCH 25 PRESENT A RIDDLE 28 “HERE’S ___ FROM ME TO YOU...”

29 TRIPS AROUND THE SUN 31 LITTLE BUZZER 33 GOES HEAD TO HEAD (WITH) 34 “M*A*S*H” EMMYWINNER 37 CONQUERED 38 “WEST SIDE STORY” SONG 39 HAILED ENTITY 40 “UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE” ALUM POEHLER 42 SHAVED THE SHEEP 44 MAG FOUNDED IN 1945 45 “THE BIG D” 48 “COMFORT OF STRANGERS” SINGER-SONGWRITER BETH 51 OK CORRAL NAME 53 TRAVELOCITY MASCOT 54 RADIO PERSONALITY CAROLLA 55 HEED 56 RIVER TO THE CASPIAN 57 300, TO TIBERIUS 58 “I’VE FIGURED IT OUT!” 59 IT’S REALLY NOTHING Answers pg. 19

Creating crisis Why crisis pregnancy centers suck.

T

he a d ver t i s i n g st at ed t he y ex i st t o empower women to m a ke i n for med choices. When Kate called saying she needed to f ind out if she was pregnant, the center staff said they could arrange a free pregnancy test and would help her to consider all of her options. If she didn’t know better, Kate would have thought she was walking into a legitimate women’s health center.

But in reality she was walking into a crisis pregnancy center (CPC), one of more than 4,000 centers nationally operated by religious anti-choice organizations with the sole purpose of using misleading information (and governmental funding) to talk women out of getting abortions.

Once a woman is lured inside, the staff use lies, intimidation and harassment to scare women into either carrying their pregnancy to term and raising the child or giving it up for adoption.

In one case in Texas, CPC staff gave a pregnant 14-year-old rape victim a baby doll and a pair of scissors and told her to cut up the doll because that is what she would be doing to the baby inside her if she got an abortion. Luckily, this young woman was accompanied by her dad who helped her escape the situation.

Here at Doin’ It Well we decided to see for ourselves what CPCs are like, so we sent Kate Ruin on an undercover mission to a CPC in the Chicago area.

When I called for an appointment they were very reluctant to give me any information until I came in person. The staff, whom I later found out were volunteers with no medical training, wore white lab coats and carried clipboards. The center had a waiting room and an intake desk. It appeared very “professional.”

FACT: CPCs try to present themselves as legitimate medical facilities, but most do not have doctors or medical personnel on staff. They offer free pregnancy tests, but only a medical doctor can confirm a pregnancy.

The woman in the lab coat asked me to follow her into a small room with a table, TV and chairs and asked me why I was there. I told her that I thought I was pregnant and wanted information on birth control as well as how to end the pregnancy.

“First things first,” said my “counselor.” She gave me a cup to collect a urine sample and told me to watch a movie for 20 minutes while she waited for the test results.

FACT: Most pregnancy tests only take a few minutes to produce results. CPCs often refuse to give women their pregnancy test results until they have watched a misleading movie about abortion.

The “educational” movie claimed that women who get abortions frequently suffer from serious side effects including hemorrhage and death.

FACT: Abortions are considered one of the safest surgeries available. A woman’s risk of dying from an abortion is much lower than the risk of dying during pregnancy and childbirth.

After the movie my “counselor” launched into a diatribe about the bad things that would happen to me if I got an abortion. She told me that my boyfriend and I would break up, that I would become infertile and would never be attractive to another man. She told me if I had an abortion I would get breast cancer, that I would go to hell, and that I was being selfish for wanting to focus on my education instead of becoming a mom.

She questioned what kind of person I was for having had sex in the first place.

FACT: While some of the things this woman said may happen in a person’s life, they are not going to be the result of abortion. CPC staff follow the hidden agenda of stopping women from getting an abortion in any way they can.

This frequently includes shaming young women and lying to them about the social, emotional, economic and physical risks of abortion.

SEX 411 If you are faced with an unplanned pregnancy and want unbiased medical information before making a decision, make sure you go to a real clinic.

• Nationally, crisis pregnancy centers outnumber abortion clinics 2 to 1. There are roughly 140 crisis pregnancy centers in Illinois.

• Avoid places listed under “Abortion Alternatives” in the yellow pages.

• Seek out clinics that offer a full range of birth control options. If they don’t answer this clearly and unequivocally over the phone, you may want to choose a different place.

• Crisis Pregnancy Centers in Illinois go by names like Pregnancy Information Center, Birthright and Aid for Women.

• - To find a clinic close to you, check out www.ppfa.org.

• For UIUC students, McKinley offers free pregnancy tests and unbiased options counseling.

Kim Rice and Kate Ruin are professional sex educators. E-mail them at riceandruin@yahoo.com.

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HARD WORK HAS A FUTURE PAYOFF. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW!

Nov e m be r 22

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N o v e m b e r 2 9 , 2 oo 6

free will astrology NOV. 23 — NOV. 29 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

I suspect you’ll be a genius of awkwardness in the coming week, Aries. What that means is that you’ll have a knack for doing the half-right thing at the half-right time--and yet that’s exactly what’ll be necessary in order to bring about unexpected outcomes that are in everyone’s best interests. In the short run you may make a perfect mess, but I bet that will ultimately add more beauty and intrigue to the big picture.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

Dear Grandma and Grandpa of the Taurus this horoscope has been prepared for: I’m hoping you will bring your helpful influence to bear on our little darling’s dilemma. I know that in your own past you once had to navigate your way through complications similar to those that Taurus is now facing. So even if you have died and are in spirit form, please bestow your advice and encouragement, whether that’s delivered by phone, via telepathy, in dreams, or in person. One more thing: Please don’t let your wise blessing get tainted by any lingering disapproval you might be harboring about the path our beloved Taurus has chosen. This is a time for your smart love, not your judgment.

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

You know those fuel-delivery planes capable of pumping gas into a larger plane that’s already aloft? I think you’d benefit from enlisting the services of their metaphorical equivalent in the coming week. Given how high and fast you’re soaring, it would be a shame for you to have to come all the way down to earth to fill up your tank. And yet it’s clear to me that one way or another, you’re going to have to replenish your supply of propellant.

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

In the language of archetypal psychology, the term hierosgamos means “sacred marriage.” It may refer to a literal coming together of two people whose bond is a gift to God. Their love for each other serves as an inspiration to their community and galvanizes them both to express their wildest beauty.

Because their union is dedicated to a higher cause beyond their personal happiness, they strive with ingenious devotion to transmute the dark, unripe aspects of their own nature.

The term hierosgamos also has a bigger meaning, beyond the enlightened relationship of two intelligent people. It may refer to any merger of opposites that’s precipitated through divine grace and that unleashes surprising healing in all directions. In the coming weeks, Gemini, you are a prime candidate to experience at least a metaphorical version of hierosgamos.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

LEO

July 23 – Aug. 22

“The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or theologian,” wrote philosopher George Santayana. I agree with him. That’s why, as I analyze the astrological omens, I can confidently predict that you will have the right to claim all of the following titles in the coming weeks: the Beguiler with the Most Enticing Ideals, the Moral Authority with the Most Trustworthy Allure, and the Charmer with the Most Ethical Temptations.

VIRGO

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“The problem, if you love it,” said Jiddu Krishnamurti, “is as beautiful as the sunset.” He did not mean this ironically, nor was he indulging in sentimental wish-fulfillment. He was one of the toughest-minded spiritual teachers ever born. As you slip into a phase when your problems are especially gorgeous and entertaining, Capricorn, I urge you to remind yourself of his wise thought at least five times a day. Here’s a second nugget for you to chew on often. It’s a lyrical, hard-assed Zen proverb: “The obstacle is the path.”

Your assignment in the coming weeks, Aquarius, is to become a coordinator of synchronicity and director of synergy in all the environments where you hang out. To begin, remind yourself of what those terms mean. Synchronicity is the wonderfully spooky feeling that comes when two or more events occur in a way that might superficially seem to be mere coincidence, but that is actually a sign of a deeper underlying pattern that transcends rational understanding. Synergy is when two power sources collaborate on a surprisingly energetic creation in which the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. (For more ideas on synchronicity and synergy, go to http://tinyurl.com/ d2jqb and http://tinyurl.com/mows3.)

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

In the fairy tale “Hansel and Gretel,” a wicked stepmother convinces her husband that the only way the two of them will survive poverty and starvation is to take his children deep into the woods and abandon them. That way there’ll be two fewer mouths to feed. The kids overhear the plan, and as the adults lead them into the middle of nowhere, Hansel, the son, surreptitiously leaves a trail of white stones. This allows him and his sister Gretel to find their way back home later. The stepmom is chagrined. A few weeks thereafter, she once again convinces her spouse to leave the children in the wastes. This time Hansel drops breadcrumbs to mark the path, but they’re eaten by birds and the kids have no way to get back. Moral of the story: When you get sucked away from your source, leave clues that are more like stones, not crumbs. Alternative moral of the story: Don’t return to a source that doesn’t want you there.

IN

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

“The ancient Greeks knew that learning comes from playing,” writes Roger von Oech in his book A Whack on the Side of the Head: How You Can Be More Creative. Their word for education, paideia, he says, was close to their word for play, paidia.Your next assignment, Libra, is right in line with this theme. First, identify the teachings that will be most important for you to master in 2007. Second, figure out how to include play as a major component of your learning process.

“Whether we are on the threshold of a Golden Age or on the brink of a global cataclysm that will extinguish our civilization is not only unknowable, but undecided,” said Edward Cornish, President of the World Future Society. I bet that in the past year you’ve had comparable fantasies about the fate of your own personal destiny, Sagittarius. At times, it must have seemed as if you were teetering on the brink of a sulfurous abyss that was within shouting distance of the yellow brick road to paradise. Talk about conflicting emotions! But now that crazy-making chapter of your life story is coming to an end. No more teetering for you. No more inhaling noxious fumes from the infernal regions. I believe you have already been offered or will soon be offered an escort to the beginning of the yellow brick road. Let’s hope you’re not so addicted to the fascinating glamour of your pain that you turn down the escort.

“A quiet evening alone with friends can be an ecstatic experience for Cancerians,” say Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers in their book The Secret Language of Birthdays. “Yet many born under this sign have strange aspects to their personalities which must be periodically revealed in public.” I suspect this description will be particularly apt in the coming weeks. You may feel an irresistible urge to express your eccentricities to a bigger audience. My advice is to make definite plans to unveil the most interesting versions of your oddness at times and places of your choosing. That way it won’t unexpectedly pop out half-cocked when it might cause embarrassment.

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LIBRA

PISCES

Feb. 19 – March 20

If you want to be in perfect alignment with the astrological omens, you will live your life in the coming weeks with a restless confidence that bigger is better. You’ll risk going over the top, digging too deep, and stretching your limits beyond the comfort level. I suspect you’ll even begin to resonate with the description once applied to Hong Kong by its last governor: “sparkling, noisy, argumentative, handsome, cluttered, exotic, international--all the things a great city should be.”

Homework: Are you ready for an orgy of gratitude? Identify at least 10 of your best blessings; more is better. Tell me all about it by going to http://realastrology.com and clicking on “Email Rob.”

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N o v e m b e r 2 9 , 2 oo 6

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19

ALBUN REVIEWS CONTINUED FROM PG. 8 STRIKE ANYWHERE

THE WHO

Dead FM

Endless Wire

[Fat Wreck]

[Universal]

AMY MEYER • STAFF WRITER

BONNIE STIERNBERG • STAFF WRITER

Strike Anywhere loves punk rock. Their songs give back to the subculture in which they grew up and to the music they love. After a three-year break, the fast, aggressive, sing-along punk band recently released their third full length album, Dead FM. “We play music that is closest sounding to pretty fast, Washington D.C. melodic hardcore,” said singer/songwriter Thomas Barnett. The band is made up of folks from the punk and hardcore wings of the counterculture.

Dead FM starts off with “Sedation,” a song that tells the story of Barnett’s grandfather’s unknowing role in the Manhattan Project as a union steamfitter. From the beginning, it is clear that the band’s style has not changed much over the years, but their sound is more polished. “[Dead FM is] back to the speed of our earliest songwriting and there’s also a lot more vocals,” said Barnett.

“It’s a good mix of something I think is progressive and new for us along with holding down our roots.”

The record consists of liberating lyrics that mainly deal with the mess of politics and cultures that pass for America right now. The lyrics are “more personal explorations of narrative and storytelling,” said Barnett.

“This is America/Yeah it’s true/But everything else is false/That was taught to me and you/ We’ll take back everything they steal,” echoes the “The Promise.” The choruses are used to expand the force of the lyrics with strong group vocals.

Barnett feels adamantly about the songs’ interaction with the fans. He likes to see the band’s music “activated into the lives of people that listen to it, and take it to heart and having people sing it back to you in different places all over the world.”

Songs begin as a spark, an idea that later becomes a moment that is “inspiring and humbling when the song goes out of our hands and into the lives of the people who embrace the record and sing along with us at our show,” said Barnett.

Standouts on the record include chant-along songs like “Prisoner Echoes,” “Two Thousand Voice,” “Allies” and “Iron Trees.” Strike Anywhere is a great suggestion for fans of bands like Rise Against, A Wilhelm Scream and Strung Out. They combine punk with hardcore with a strong message about the state of the world and politics today.

When The Who released Tommy, their legendary rock opera, in 1969, the world of file sharing and music downloads was decades away. Yet the band somehow managed to revolutionize rock and roll, and they did it while relying only on a large piece of vinyl and a needle to spread their message (that’s what used to be called a “record,” boys and girls).

Now, in 2006, Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey have come together and released Endless Wire, their first album in 24 years. It addresses the new technology that has infiltrated the world of music in recent years and tackles some current events, all while retaining that classic Who sound.

The album kicks off with “Fragments,” a song in which the band borrows from itself and presents listeners with a recycled version of the famous “Baba O’Riley” synthesizer intro. This time however, instead of power chords, we get sound effects, like a cell phone being dialed in the background.

The song is one of the album’s weaker tracks, and its pseudo-“Baba” intro seems to be Townshend and Daltrey’s way of crying out “Hey, remember us?” Later it is reprised with “Fragments of Fragments,” a rather unnecessary track.

“Man in a Purple Dress” is a good acoustic song.

Written by Townshend after he saw Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ, the song expresses indignation at Gibson’s self-righteousness, with lines like “How dare

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you wear robes and reside/How dare you cover your head to hide/Your face from God.” Similarly, “Black Widow’s Eyes” addresses the Russian terrorist siege of 2005. The Who manage to raise valid social questions here while also doing some quality rocking.

“Mike Post Theme” sounds like classic Who, with a great blend of electric guitars and the acoustic sounds of a mandolin. Daltrey’s vocals really shine on “It’s Not Enough” as he treats us to his legendary growl. Daltrey also appears to be in great form on the up-tempo rocker “Sound Round,” and he and Townshend produce some wicked harmonies on “Pick Up the Peace.”

On the second half of the album, the band revisits the art form that they pioneered with Tommy, as Endless Wire shifts into “Wire and Glass,” a mini opera of its own. “Wire and Glass” deals with the theme of technology and music, but the concept seems at times too vague. “We Got A Hit” is a good track, but at just over a minute, it is far too short and leaves the listener wanting more.

“Mirror Door” is the best of the “Wire and Glass” songs. In it, The Who drop names of musical icons like Johnny Cash and Curtis Mayfield while declaring, “Music makes me strong ... You will find me in this song.” The band seems to be pondering the future of mainstream music, as they raise the question, “Who will walk through the mirror door/Will there be music or will there be war?”

As a whole, Daltrey and Townshend’s latest effort is a success. It certainly can’t compare to the band’s earlier work, when Keith Moon and company were still in the picture, but Endless Wire is a decent Who album. The Who’s average is still much better than most contemporary artists’ best, and this album reminds us of this.

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