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Available now. 3 BR $840/mo. 7664746.

2+ BR off-campus 3rd BR/ Office. Quiet Area. Great yard. Off-street parking. W/D hookup. 604 N. Edwin, C. $750/mo. 649-9708

Cozy Cottage - near Lincoln Square. Campus. Hardwood floors, 5 rooms, 2 BR. 359-3687

3 BEDROOM TOWNHOUSE HESSEL PARK, August 1 615 W. Kirby CA, DW, CARPORT, ELEGANT. 1600 SQ. FT. $1450 398-1998 www.lincolnshireprop.com 3 br, 1 ba, washer, dryer, AC, Nice back yard, 1 car garage. $750 per month. 712 E. Michigan, Urbana. 378-4741 3, 4 or 5 BR houses available. Fall 2005. Call Green Street Realty 3568750. 316 S. State St., C 4/ 5 bedroom home, 2 baths, 2 full kitchens, laundry room. $1100/mo. 369-7205.

610 S. State, Champaign Beautiful 5 Bedroom House on Busline near campus. 2 full kitchens, laundry hardwood floors, large yard. Perfect Condition. $1,500/ mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

www.ramshaw.com (217)359-6400

344-2376 or 359-2072

384-8018

www.weinercompanies.com

Unfurn. 3 BR

with pkg, w/d hookups, A/C Avail now & mid-August In west Champaign & east Urbana $650 - $795/month The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

384-8018

www.weinercompanies.com

ROOMS

530

JTS Properties 328-4284 Urbana Houses Available August 2005

*Private home includes cable Internet, telephone, utilities, parking. $450. 630-759-3634.

905 W. Main

3rd + Chalmers 1 bedroom in 4 bedroom apartment. 815-695-5836

2 BR, 1 Bath, W/D, pets welcome, & off-street parking. $800/mo.

105 N. Coler

CAMPUS AREA. Quality furnished large room in house on busline. Share kitchen, laundry, utilities. $235 and up. 356-0345. Cute house for rent in quiet Urbana. 5 BR, 2 bathrooms, fully furnished, W/D, parking. ruiz2@uiuc.edu.

BEAUTIFUL HOUSE •804 S Busey, U. •4 BR -- 2 BA •Off - Street Parking •Laundry •Wrap Around Porch

hwd floors, fireplace, W/A, carport Avail. mid-Aug at $895/month The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

Urbana Campus 4 bedroom 702 W. Green & 812 W. Main Jimmy 373-4888

Newly remodeled 5 BR, 2 bath, hardwood floors, off-street parking with garage. $1500/mo.

1 Block From Campus

Unfurn. 3 BR, 1.5 BA in Leal School District

FREE RENT! 806 W. Stoughton, Urbana- Are you and your friends still looking for a house for rent? This large house is a steal at reduced pricing. Four bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms and a garage. Recently updated with newer carpet and vinyl. Now offering 1/2 off security deposit and 1 month’s free rent. $1395/mo. Call Allison Today!

LINCOLN & STOUGHTON Furnished 4 BR w/ 2 BA parking, A/C, laundry $1,200/mo The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com SAFE street, new carpets/ interiors, furnished, 4 bedroom, 1 block from Lincoln & Green, central air, fireplace, living, dining, kitchen, W/D, includes parking, available August 15. No pets. $1400. 3673530 leave message.

RENTS STARTING AT

Graduate off campus rooms, on busline. $295/ mo. + utilities. 408-7687107.Pareigis@uiuc.edu NEWLY REMODELED Rooms available - Free parking/ wireless internet! On bus route, 3 mins. from campus, quiet. Only $325/ month! Call for a showing before it’s gone! (708)699-7311 or BTPManagement@gmail.com One bedroom in 3 bedroom apt, 202 John, Fall/ Whole year lease. Furnished, Right on Campus. $300 negotiable, 217-621-7545

$420

ROOMS

530

Room in 4 Bedroom, 2 Bath Furnished Apartment. Washer/ Dryer in unit. 5th and White. $230. 352-7818 Rooms in huge graduate student house near West Side Park and downtown Champaign. Will do one semester room share lease for $425 per month, female preferred. $485 per month for one year lease which includes utilities, trash, telephone, cable, Ethernet, free Washer/Dryer, private off-street parking, use of large living areas. Lease & deposit required. Available August 1st 2005. 217-355-2326. Single rooms for women. Clean, laundry facilities, close to campus, located on busline. $245- 260/ month. Utilities included. 367-4824.

ROOM & BOARD

540

FOR RENT

580

3 BR Apt. 501 W. Green. $700/mo 355-0520 Campus Parking Available. Call for more information. 328-3770.

RealEstateforSale 600 CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

3 and 4 bedroom townhouses, 1.5 bath, basement, CA, campus bus near Kirby + Mayfair, C. $825-850, 398-1998 Colony W. Condo First floor, 2 BR, 1 bath. W/D, D/W included. Access to pool & clubhouse, $725/mo. Aug. 15th. 3840333.

Want community? Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

Fully furnished Condo in Savoy, laundry room, garage, A/C. Close to bus line. Call 217-356-6680.

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

Unfurn. 3 BR, 2 BA duplex W/d, d/w, fireplace, 2 car garage

1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

Avail. mid-Aug at $895-995/month

2 Br., 2 bath loft, brand new appliances, great on campus location. 57 E. Chalmers. Parking, Central Air. $408/ mo. Alex 224-522-2539.

384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

2 Non- smokers to share a house. Busey and Oregon. $300-340/ mo utilities included. 217-328-3349 510 E. White 1 BR in a 2 BR apartment. $350/ mo, 9 month lease. Willing to give 2 free months. Contact David 773852-4296.

706 W. Hill, C. $300/mo. + share of utilities. Available Fall. Month to Month. www.cuforrent.com 217-353-5027 Female roommate wanted to share large furnished house. 1.5 blocks from campus, large bedroom, fenced in yard, deck, front porch, basement with free washer/dyer, dishwasher, A/C. $450 + 1/5 utilities. 706 W. Oregon. Katie 866-392-9072 kdeverea@uiuc.edu Grad students and cat seek roommate to share 3 BR off campus house. $300/mo + utilities. klamothe@uiuc.edu. 217-377-2138.

BEST BANG FOR YOUR BUCK

Male roommate needed. Furnished apartment $280 + utilities. 2 BR apartment with study room. 3rd floor, blocks from Engineering Quad. 847-514-5000

CAMPUS CONNECTION

Need one roommate to share fantastic furnished house at 606 W. Springfield, C. Ted 217-766-5108

Vote for Buzz and all of your wildest dreams will come true. seriously.

1301 S. Maple, U The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

HOUSES

630

For Sale 209 E. Kerr, U. 3 BR/ 1BA duplex. Shade trees, carpeted floors, offstreet parking, coin w/d. $225 + $70 util. 687-2654 301/ 304 W. Eureka, C. Aug. 1BR eff. in house. Large shade trees, hrdwd. floors, private entry, coin W/D, A/C, pet friendly. $300- 450 incl. some util. 687-2654.

2005 Illio Yearbooks

Indispensible

z buz FREE

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Pick up a copy of

The Daily Illini

every Monday through Friday The Daily Illini is the independent student newspaper at U of I and is distributed all over campus and around Champaign-Urbana

Roommate Wanted for large 3 bedroom, 1 bath apartment near Downtown Champaign. $400/month, includes all utilities + parking. 847345-3766 Roommate Wanted, Starting in August for off campus home with sunroom. $350 includes utilities. Linda 328-1417

www.collegeparkweb.com

CLASSIFIEDS 337-8337

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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COMMON GROUND

Call 337-8300.

Roommates wanted to share spacious house in Urbana. W/D, furnished, full yard, hot tub, high speed internet, must be dog friendly. $350/ $400/mo. + 1/4 utilities. 369-5540. or dsdoane@uiuc.edu.

h

champaign . urbana

Male Roommate to share 3 BR House in Downtown Urbana. $250 + utilities. 401 E. Main, (217)-8410995.

dailyillini.com

t

O8 | O4 | O5 . O8 | 1O | O5

Order TODAY!!!

Roommates wanted to share deluxe furnished 3/ 4 bedroom apartments at 3rd & Clark, C. Individual 1 year lease from $225/ mo. Ted 766-5108.

m

7

still on sale!

formerly Melrose Apartments 1601 N Lincoln Ave, Urbana

278-0278

Send us your event listings

y

510

l

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

HOUSES

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510

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HOUSES

1 0 , 2 OO5

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HOUSES

AU G . 4

LET ME GO ON BIG HANDS I KNOW YOUR THE ONE.

calendar@readbuzz.com

20 • b u z z w e e k l y

At Wisconsin’s Oshkosh Airventure pg. 5

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2 •

buzz weekly

seth fein

AU G . 4

I GOT MY HAIR HIGHLIGHTED, BECAUSE I FELT SOME STRANDS WERE MORE IMPORTANT THAT OTHERS.

the local sniff

1 0 , 2 OO5

FIRST SNIFF

My brain had obviously been tainted by the smell of carnival food and the sight of too much neon clothing. As I looked around the crowd, my only thought was, “Who the hell are all these people and is it possible that I actually live among them?” In addition to being the fattest group I’ve seen in months, they were also the worst-behaved that I have ever seen in my life.The kids behind me were literally yelling, “Stupid Horse! Stupid Horse! That horse is dumber than dogshit!” as their parents sat zoned in on the action, corn dogs in one hand and funnel cakes in the other. Now, I would like to believe that I will be a pretty decent dad eventually. I think that I could actually be one of the cool ones - the kind that are understanding and supportive of their children no matter what their interests are. But I’ll be damned if I ever take my kids to a rodeo and watch them yell profanities at innocent and abused animals. I turned around, looked the kid straight in the face and asked him, “Hey little buddy. If I tied your balls together around your back and pulled them up real tight, I bet you’d look like a bit of a dumbass too.” Needless to say, they all shut up. But I thought the parents were going to skin my hide. NOTHING

QUITE LIKE

DISNEY

AND

PORN

As uncomfortable as that was, we decided to stay a little longer only to find that they had planned a kids portion of the rodeo, where Belle from Beauty and The Beast comes out and does her little acrobatic dance thing. It was nice enough for a few minutes and actually quite innocent. But wouldn’t you know it, as soon as I began to appreciate it for the children’s sake, the loudspeaker blared again, “All right now, cowpokes! We’re gonna spice things up for y’all a bit now! Go to it, Belle!” She turned, faced the grandstand and wouldn’t you know it, she just rips her clothes off to reveal nothing but a skimpy leotard! These kids behind me went from totally entranced by something completely nice and appropriate, to watching I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

420

something borderline pornographic in literally seconds! I think they were as stunned as I was. THE MORAL

OF THE

APARTMENTS

58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Showings Monday-Friday 10-5 Saturday 11-4

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN CAMPUS 2 BEDROOM

Spacious furnished apartments. 702-704 W Elm *Excellent Campus Location near Lincoln & Green *Ethernet *Laundry *Parking *Balcony *Kitchen/Bar Combination From $660 Roland Realty 351-8900

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $555/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Several one bedrooms: $385, $365 & $350 plus utilities. Sorry no pets. Free parking, A/C. 344-2775

403 E. White - $540/mo. 302 S. Fourth - $540/mo. 405 E. White - $400/mo.

WE’RE BETTER THAN CHOCOLATE!

All Units: Carpet, A/C, Appliances Cable & Internet Ready Parking Available On-Site Laundry

Ask Tenant Union about us 390-2377

Gentry Square Apartments www.apartmentschampaign.com 356-2533

New Building “Lofts on John” One bedroom, unfurnished, W/D, dishwasher, opening August 05 $650/mo. Near John and 2nd. Call 356-1407

www.wpgu.com

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished

URBANA

Champaign 2 Bedrooms

LANDO PLACE 707 South 6th, C. Large 1 BR. Includes water and trash removal. On-site Laundry. Secured Building. Local phone service and ethernet. Parking Available. From $580/mo. CAMPO RENTAL AGENCY 344-1927

430

1 bedroom in older home. $625/ mo. Utilities included. 314 S. State St, Champaign. 369-7205

205 EAST HEALEY, C Renting Aug 2005. Very large 1 bedroom apts. Carpet, Window A/C, High Speed Internet connection avail. Parking avail at $30/mo. Shown Daily 7 days a week. Rents start at $435/mo. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 407 W Columbia, C 1 bedroom, $460, Available August. New kitchen, new bath, free parking. www.cuforrent.com 217-353-5027

606 S. PRAIRIE, C Huge 1 bedroom apts in quiet Champaign neighborhood near campus and bus line. Perfect for Grad Students. Gas heat, window a/c, free off street parking. Priced $50/mo below competition. From $380/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 701 W. Indiana. 2 BR. 1000+ sq. ft Living room, hardwood floors, full basement. Duplex. Avail. Aug. 1. Great location. 384-0333.

800 W. CHURCH, C.

1 BR, Hardwood Floors, Quiet, offstreet parking. 1211 W. Church, Champaign. $375. New kitchen. Excellent. Credit and references required. 367-1406

Now Available. 2 BRs. Centrally located near shopping/ transportation. Onsite laundry, off-street parking. $450/mo. 217-352-8540, 217-355-4608 pm www.faronproperties.com

2 Bedroom Large Townhouses. Most Utilities Paid at 707 W. California. $595. Phone 493-6483, 3845668.

Architects 2 Bdrm with loft, C.A. W.D. Sadorus, 12 mi. south. $600/mo. 398-1998

2 BR DUPLEX IN URBANA

Available August 2 BR. $630/ mo. Springfield and Gregory, Urbana. 390-1444.

hdwd floors, A/C, pkg, w/d hookups $525/month

The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

UNIVERSITY FIELDS 355-1579 117 Sterling Court, Savoy

www.collegeparkweb.com f r o m

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DAWSON PROPERTY MANAGEMENT 359-1221 Available August: Off campus 1 BR+ near West Side Park in downtown Champaign, prices ranging $390625. Older home character, great light and space. Good study atmosphere. Downtown apartment/ studio space @ 511 N. Neil, C. 2nd floor, 2000 sqft. 4 huge bedrooms, lots of windows, off- street parking. $1400/mo. Available August 15. Contact John, James Burch Real Estate, 3692310.

Large 1 BR Avail. Fall. $465- $475/mo. Includes most utilities, laundry, pkg, A/C. On busline. The Weiner Companies, Ltd 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

430

PRICES SLASHED FAIRLAWN VILLAGE FAIRLAWN & VINE SEMESTER LEASES Aug 2005. Live in a peaceful, relaxed, neighborhood setting. Fairlawn Village is a one-story apartment community, spread out on twelve acres, close to U of I, shopping and walking distance to schools. Spacious apartments with washer/dryer hook up, a/c, and garages available.Two bedrooms from $500 to $550/mo. Call for an appointment. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 344-5043 www.barr-re.com Quality Living Properties 328-4283 1-2 BEDROOM APARTMENTS NOW LEASING FOR AUG 2005

504 & 506 E. Green St., U

Available now and Aug 05. Near shopping and bus lines. D/W, laundry on site and off-street parking. $415/mo.

MUST RENT!!

710 S. Walnut, U

$200 credit on first rent. 705 W. Church, apt. K, C. available now, 2 bedroom,in perfect condition, offstreet parking included, central A/C, on-site laundry, on bus route to campus, $450/mo. 356-2758.

603 S. Walnut, U

One Month Free Rent 2 BR Townhomes with W/D, private patio and more! The perfect place to call home! Beautiful setting close to Hessel Park and on the busline. Call 356-4012

Park-like Setting

When you SIGN A LEASE

s o u n d s

Clean, quiet, 1 BR. in upscale old town Champaign. Wood floors, Includes parking, water, and garbage. Credit check, references. $400/ mo. 355-8512.

2 BR avail. mid-August

217-355-4999

APARTMENTS

19

Unfurnished

www.joelwardhomes.com

616 Healey Quiet 1 bedroom, free parking, water, trash. $385. 352-6101.

$20 Off Your Monthly Rent

344-0710

430

Unfurnished

Our most desirable location on U of I golf course. 1200 sq. ft, 2 bedroom, 2 bath, fireplace, study, dishwasher, W/D, A/C, carport plus parking, balcony/patio. 359-3687.

or

Tonight 9:30-12:30 Tom Paynter Quartet $3 Cover Great Music All Night

APARTMENTS

B R O A D M O O R AT R O B E R T: Quiet, residential neighborhood. Large 2 BR, all appliances, garage, swimming pool. $795-$825/mo. Available immediately.

$250 Visa Card

Jazz Nights at

s c e n e

MJM/Chateau Apartments

306- 308- 309 White August 2005. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 352-3182 or 8411996 anytime, 309 S. First. The University Group www.ugroup96.com

Thursday

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Parkview Apartments 121 W. Park, Urbana Efficiency apartments for fall. Includes water, trash removal, on-site laundry. $395/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

GREAT VALUE

they asking for forgiveness or are they really asking God for His blessing? Think about it. He can be reached at sethfein@ hotmail.com.

f r o m

APARTMENTS Furnished

Furnished one bedrooms and efficiencies from $325, $365, and $395 near John and Second or Healey and Third. 356-1407.

I realize that it’s a cultural thing, this rodeo stuff. But shouldn’t there be some kind of law preventing people from treating animals this way? I mean, we don’t allow cruel and unusual punishment to humans who have committed a crime, do we? These animals have done nothing wrong yet they are still being abused by people all over the nation. Write to your congressman and tell him that you want to see an end to rodeos in America. Better yet, go to his home and tie his testicles up against his hands behind his back. Something tells me that might get him to listen.

s o u n d s

Furnished

Unfurnished

If you truly like the rodeo, I truly do not like you. I hope that some alien being comes into your home in the Seth Fein is from middle of the day and ties your Urbana. He wants testicles up against your hands to know: When behind your back.We’ll just see people pray to God before a rodeo, are how you like it.

627 E. Green St.

420

APARTMENTS

APARTMENTS

SO WE’RE CLEAR...

FINAL WHIFF

420

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

STORY

We stayed for one more ride as we discussed how stupid this was and how it was possible that people support this type of event.When the bull wouldn’t go back to the cage after he tried to free up his testicles, they started pounding on his head to make him obey. That is when we decided that we had had enough. My girlfriend looked at me and said, “I would rather hurt myself with another elephant ear than watch these sorry sacks of shit hurt one more animal.” I apologized and we left. JUST

6 0 1 -6 0 3 E . C la rk, C . F u rn ish e d 1 B R w /b a lco n y, la u n d ry, so m e fre e u til. 2 m in . fro m th e U n io n . S ta rtin g a t $ 3 8 5 . 344-1306 or 352-4104

buzz weekly •

LET ME GO ON LIKE I BLISTER IN THE SUN.

Furnished

BECKMAN APTS.

SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

ME UP FOR PARENTHOOD

A U G . 1 0 , 2 OO5

Furnished

I have never prayed for forgiveness so much in my life!

SIGN

APARTMENTS

The local sniffs the rodeo!

I did something incredibly stupid last week. I realize that I do stupid things every week, but this last week, I did something superduper stupid. I took my girlfriend to the rodeo. I knew that it was stupid of me going in. I knew that she would hate it. But I decided to give her, a true city girl who literally knows every single El stop in Chicago like the back of her hand, a taste of some of the more rural elements that my town has to offer. After all, she did move down here to be with me. So I thought to myself, “What better way to say thank you and I love you than by taking her to see grown men tie up a bull’s testicles, hit it over the head with a switch and then watch a man try to stay atop it while the he tries to get his testicles free?”

AU G . 4

laundry, pkg, W/A, $485/mo The Weiner Companies, Ltd

384-8018

www.weinercompanies.com Peaceful and quiet off-campus 1 and 2 BR apartments starting at $475. www.gardencourts.com 359-4652.

PRICES SLASHED 115 W. WASHINGTON, U

Avail Aug 2005. 1 bedroom apts. Carpet, window a/c, laundry, boiler heat. Rent was $510/mo. Now $425/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

South Busey Classic style, 1 bedroom plus study. Bright, sunny, in quiet neighborhood near Cafe Paradiso. Laundry, parking. Sorry no pets. 12 mo lease. References. $545 + utilities. 344-2775

dailyillini.com

Near bus lines and off-street parking included. $400/mo. Large apts., off-street parking, and W/D in unit. $500/mo.

201 E. California, U

2-bdr, Hrdwd floor, W/D in unit. $485/mo. Quiet 2nd flr. 2 BR. older home. $500. Screened porch. Above offices. August 15. Green near Cedar, U. tombruno@tombruno.com. 328-6000.

SUBLETS

440

2 bedroom duplex. W/D, C/A. 1 car attached garage. Quiet Urbana area. Victoria 344-7660; 6218293. Apartment sublet, 502 S. Mattis, Champaign, Aug. 05- July 06. Bi-level, 2 BR, 1.5 bath. Furnished or unfurnished. $600/mo. 217-621-0193 Stonegate Village Apt. 2 BR, 1.5 bath, patio, 1st floor Apt. Move in wknd of Aug. 20, rest of Aug. free. Possible other discount as well. Call 359-2434 for more info.

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

510

1908 Cresent, Cha.

Popular Southwood neighborhood. Beautiful hardwood flooring, 4 BDRS, 2 full baths, $1295/mo. Available August 1st.

www.joelwardhomes.com

217-355-4999

205 W. William, C. 2 BR for August. Washer/dryer in your apartment, A/C, fireplace, covered parking included. $640. 621-6347.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S


APARTMENTS

AU G . 4

I’M HIGH AS A KITE I JUST MIGHT STOP TO CHECK YOU OUT.

410

Furnished/Unfurnished

410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

Sunnycrest Apartments 1717 E. Florida, U Large 1 and 2 BR apartments. Includes water and parking, on-site laundry, pool. Starting @ $450/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927. Quiet 2 Bedroom Townhouse 1000 SF. $650- 685, Campus Bus. CA, DW, yard, laundry. 398-1998.

410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

Furnished

CLASSIFIEDS 337-8337 www.wpgu.com

604 W. Stoughton, U 2 bedroom, 2 bath, W/D, Deluxe Furnished, King size bed, Roll-in shower $910

NO BULL! Free Best Buy and Campus Tan gift certificate with each signed lease! Remodeled apartments that redefine campus living. 3 and 4 bedroom apartments available at 810 S. Oak St. between John and Daniel in Champaign. 3 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (only $333 per roommate!) 4 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (less than $250 per roommate!) High-speed internet, water, and trash included! Laundry in building. NINE MONTH LEASES NEGOTIABLE

217-384-6930

www.johnsmithproperties.com

Sunnycrest Apts

Spacious 1 BR, a/c, laundry, free parking, on bus-line near shopping Starting at $385

Fall 2005

102 E. Gregory, C 202 E. John, C 610 E. Stoughton, C 910 & 910.5 S. Locust, C 807 W. Oregon, U 908 S. Lincoln, U

AVAILABLE NOW

Bedrooms

344-1306 or 352-4104 BZ Management

WESTGATE

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 1, 2 2, 3 1 3 10

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

104 E. Armory, C. 3 & 4 bedroom apartment, 2 baths. All new furniture. Great Location. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

105 E. GREEN, C Studio apts avail Aug 2005. Carpet, electric heat, wall a/c units, off street parking avail, laundry Ethernet connection avail. Rents from $295/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1107 S. EUCLID, C Aug 2005 rental. Near Armory, IMPE and Snack Bar. 1 bedroom apts. Window A/C, Gas Heat, laundry. Parking $35/mo. Rents start at $395/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 301 E. White, C. 2 BR apartment avaiable mid- August, includes water and parking. $625/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

APARTMENTS

• Clean 1 & 2 Bedrooms • Dependable, 24hr. NOW LEASING maintenance FOR FALL • 24 Hour Courtesy

Gate House

344-0700 • www.GabesPlace.com

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APARTMENTS Furnished

1006 S. 3RD, C.

FALL 2005 Smith Apartments 384-1925

Location

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APARTMENTS

• Superior management • Short-term Leases (limited availability) • Free Parking • On Busline

359-5330 359-5330

Hours: M-F 9-6 Sat 9-1 • www.westgateapts.net

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APARTMENTS

503- 505- 508 E. White

Available now and Fall 2005. Extra large 1 bd and efficiencies. Prices ranging from $375-485. Off-street parking, security building, & 5 floor plans to choose from. Make your appointment today!

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny, 493-0429. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

304 & 306 E. Clark, C Castle Apartments 3 blocks to Engineering Quad. 3 BR $690, 4 BR $890. C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit. 384-1099, castle_apartments@ameritech.net

311 E. WHITE, C Avail Aug 2005. Large furnished efficiencies close to Beckman Center. Rent starts at $325/mo. Parking avail at $30/mo. Window A/C, carpet, High Speed Internet connection avail. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

dailyillini.com

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Furnished

111 E. Healey, Champaign

1140 sq/ft. Condo, 2 bedroom, garage, w/d, dishwasher, A/C. 814 Sunset, Urbana. $780/mo. 3449318 or 244-8040.

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APARTMENTS

Furnished

JTS Properties 328-4284

Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 E. Clark 1 block from Beckman. Large Efficiencies. Security doors. Parking. Internet ready. Furnished. NEW RENOVATIONS! 377-5971. www.509eclark.com

509 E. White, C. Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

End of Season Special 1 Month’s Free Rent

(on selected units only in the following buildings)

306-410 E. Michigan, U 508-510 E. Michigan, U 1102 E. Colorado, U

Quiet Urbana location very close to campus avail for Aug 2005. 1 BR apts. Rents start at $405/mo. Carpet, laundry facilities, window A/C, storage, parking avail at $25/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

602 E. Stoughton

Huge 2 bedroom apts. Fantastic location, close to Engineering Computer Science. Gas heat, A/C, carpet, laundry, off street parking @$25/ mo. Bargain Rent from $425/ mo. Best Deal on Campus. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

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uNDER c OVER

BUZZ STAFF v o l u m e

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604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2005, Large 1 bedroom furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 610 W. Washington St., U. Very large 3 BR. hardwood floors, fireplace. 2 blocks from campus. Quiet residential neighborhood. Water and garbage included. Off-street lighted parking. 12 month lease. Available Aug. 1. No pets. Applications taken. $895/mo. 367-8603, 8405225. 611 W. Church St., C. Beautiful 2 BR. in security locked building. Laundry facilities. Heat, hot water, sanitary garbage included. Parking spot in lighted off-street parking. Extra storage, dishwasher, central air. Sound & fire proof. No pets. applications taken. Available Aug. 1. $595/mo. 367-8603, 8405225 618 W. Green, C.

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Cover Design • David Solana & Claire Napier Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Claire Napier Copy Chief • Erin Green Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Constance Beitzel Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Erin Scottberg Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Brittany Bindrim, Nikita Sorokin, Obumneme Asota Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner, Todd Swiss Photography • Austin Happel Copy Editors • Erin Green Staff Writers • Todd Swiss, Paul Prikazsky, Syd Slobodnik, Beth Dillman, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ

Call for further information. Ca m p u s Pro p e rty Ma n a g e m e n t 303 E. Green • 217.328.3030

2 2 2 3 4 |5-6| 5 |7-8| 7 8 8 8 | 9 - 11 | | 12 - 13 | 12 12 13 13 | 14 - 15 |

e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com

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write: 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820

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call: 217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini

14

Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

© Illini Media Company 2005

Furnished Apartment in quiet offcampus house. New paint and carpet. Free parking.

Large 2, 3 & 4 Bedrooms Some have jacuzzi, washer/ dryers, fireplaces

buzz weekly •

I HAVEN'T SLEPT FOR TEN DAYS, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE TOO LONG.

|1-4|

509 W. MAIN, U.

508, 510 & 512 E. Stoughton, C.

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THE

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Large 1 BR $500/mo Heat, water and gas paid. 356-2018

15 15 15 | 16 | 16 16 | 17 - 20 |

INTRO

People

AROUND TOWN Pilots find common ground • David Solana

LISTEN, HEAR Lollapalooza • Kyle Gorman Slowpoke • Jen Sorenson Sound Ground #87 • Todd J. Hunter Frank Black review • Frank Krolicki

MAIN EVENT ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT The Pain and Itch review • Syd Slobodnik Festival review • Jeff Nelson Artist’s Corner with Jason Donavon (Th)ink • Keef Knight

THE SILVER SCREEN Must Love Dogs review • Paul Prikazsky Top Ten Charts Local Film Stop • Shadie Elnashai Movie Time Listings Stealth review • David Just The Devil’s Rejects review • Dan Maloney

THE STINGER Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

CLASSIFIEDS

EDITOR’S NOTE PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

The Local Sniff • Seth Fein This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening Editor’s Note • Paul Wagner First Things First • Michael Coulter

3

don’t read enough anymore. Obviously, if you’re reading this, my accusation likely does not apply to you. But seriously, people need to read more. Hell, I need to read more. Sure, I read all the time for this job, but I’m not talking about magazines. Magazines are mostly just mindless fun, even if the writing is great like in this wonderful publication. Newspapers are ok, seeing as I read the New York Times a lot, and I check out CNN Online every so often, and I like to think that these small gestures connect me somehow to the world and its happenings, but that’s beside the point. I’m talking about good old-fashioned reading of novels. Long ago, my mom instilled a deep desire in me to read, mostly because I wanted to impress her, (she read all the time,and still does) but that craving to devour words still burns inside me. No magazine or newspaper article can compete with a well-crafted work of fiction, or even a beautiful sentence within that work. Poetry, in this vein, or any vein for that matter, works as well. I think it has something to do with feeling creative, or powerful, even, to lose yourself in the mind of an author. To lose yourself so thoroughly in a world created by words that you forget about your own real world and real problems entirely. Or maybe not.Who knows? But for a long

time I’ve let my school reading fall a distant second to a good book on my ever-growing list of priorities. Recently, though, I’ve neglected my urge to read (of course, I’ve bought at least six books without having read anything new) and have given in to exhaustion nearly every night. Recently, though, my good friend and former lab partner, Katie, gave me a book and told me that I had to read it because she thought it sounded like a book I would write, if I ever were to write a book. The novel is called The Book of Joe by Jonathon Tropper, and I’ll likely be done with it by presstime. It’s incredible. Hopelessly witty in an unstoppable sort of way, wonderfully self-deprecating, it captures feelings so completely that I have to remind myself that it’s only a book. But that’s just my take on things. Either way, I highly recommend checking it out, especially if you’ve ever been destroyed by love, and I know you have. Also, as a side note, I would love to write for a living, just as I’d love to stay in school and be a professional student so I can continue to learn as much as humanly possible. I think that the unfortunate and impending end to this stage in my life where all things are possible scares the shit out of me, and my wild career fantasies protect me from the inevitable, if only for an instant. Anyway, I’m feeling poetic and philosophical right now, so I hope you enjoyed my indulgence. Now get out there and read a book, but read the rest of the issue first. - Paul

705 W. High St., U Very quiet large studio in old house. NO PETS. $400+ some utilities. 359-5115

ADVANTAGE PROPERTIES C-U Formerly Wakeland Rentals

Bring all your books to

ILLINI UNION

DON’T MISS OUT ON THESE DELUXE APARTMENTS!

BOOKSTORE

Leasing for Fall 2005 SPRING SPECIALS!

No Security Deposit $50 Off Application Fee $50 Look & Lease Drawing on 6/30/05 for: • MP3 Player • Digital Camcorder • Mobile Entertainment System • and other cool prizes!

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Studio

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

Two Bedroom Apartments 1 left 1 left 1 left 1 left 1 left

1007 W. Main 1008 W. Main *813 W. Main 209 W. Griggs 1004 W. Main

corner of Wright & Daniel

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BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

Monday - $2 Domestic Beers Tuesday - $2 Rum & Coke Wednesday - $2.50 Screwdrivers Thursday - $2 Amaretto Stone Sours FREE POOL 8PM-9PM FEMALE DANCERS NIGHTLY OPEN Monday - Thursday 8pm-1am Friday-Saturday 8pm-2am Ladies & Couples Welcome Always Free Admission with our T-Shirt ATM $5.00 Admission/Ladies Free Accepted MUST BE 21

Saturday, August 6 10am–4:30pm

We encourage you to check with the U of I Tenant Union before signing a lease!

s o u n d s

Silver Bullet Bar 1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net 344-0937

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S


4 •

buzz weekly

coulter

I'M AGAINST PICKETING, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHOW IT.

first things first

Michael Bolton is the new UN ambassador?

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PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

030

HELP WANTED Full/Part Time

I

picked up the paper Monday morning and saw a headline that was sort of surprising and yet I wasn’t especially surprised by it in any way. It said, “Bush names Bolton UN Ambassador.”Why our president was so anxious to name someone to the post sort of escapes me since we don’t really pay much attention to anything the UN says anymore, but that part didn’t surprise me. He avoided a filibuster for awhile by appointing the guy while Congress wasn’t in session, but that didn’t surprise me much either. Nope, the biggest surprise was that I just assumed the arrogant simpleton had appointed easy listening singing sensation Michael Bolton to the post. It was actually John Bolton, who sadly is probably less qualified for the position than Michael Bolton. I mean, music is the universal language, and like Burt Bacharach always says, “What the world needs now, is love, sweet love” so a Michael Bolton power ballad might have a more calming effect in such turbulent times than a pain-in-theass right-wing crony who doesn’t believe in the organization to begin with. Besides, I figured George W. was probably a big Michael Bolton fan.

“People see me and they don’t think about love.Well I’m going to change all that with this UN appointment. Piss, I don’t think Michael Bolton has ever even had a song without the word ‘love’ in the title, so, after this, I should be seen as the president of love. Plus, goddamn, the only thing prettier than that boy’s voice is that flowing hair of his. He will make a fine ambassador to the UN. Excuse me, Dick, um, what do the initials UN stand for again?” Actually, it might not be a bad idea if he re-thought the appointment and named the singing Bolton instead. I mean, a little less than half the country really doesn’t have much use for the president, so at least he could reach out to the disenfranchised by naming someone we recognize to the position. Who doesn’t love a celebrity? In fact, I wouldn’t even stop there if I were him. Naming celebrities to important posts might make the president seem like a cooler guy to some of us. Courtney Love would make a fine Drug Czar. Seriously, if you want to end the drug problem, don’t name a czar who’s never been high. Name a crazy junkie who can leave her house at four in the morning and come back with twenty bottles of OxyContin and eight bottles of vodka. Plus, she seems to be very

opinionated and crazy, so she’d fit right in with the rest of the folks. Let’s not forget the little things either. She’s sort of in a stupor and sort of a tramp, so they could all make out with her during those long nights of policy meetings. I’m sure Rumsfeld wouldn’t be opposed to giving her the high hard one in the coat closet during a coffee break. Hell, she probably wouldn’t remember it anyway. Even the president might seem a little less tense. “Hey Courtney, do you know why it’s called the Oval Office? See, it’s shaped like an oval, you know, one of them stretched-out circles. Hey, close the door behind you and I’ll break out some of that liquor and pills you like so much. Uh huh, it sure is hot in here, so don’t be afraid to take that shirt off if you get uncomfortable.” Of course I’m just trying to help out, but even I don’t thing he should take it too far. For example, I was thinking that maybe he could name Jennifer Lopez to a post. Afterall, eventually people are going to get tired of paying her to make movies that nobody ever sees and songs that aren’t particularly good, so she may be looking for steady work someday soon. However, a woman like her could never be on

the cabinet because it would be far too complicated. Let’s face it, when someone is talking about the “big ass” in the room, I’m sure the president just assumes they’re talking about him. Throw Jen in there though and he is forced to figure out which “big ass” they’re talking about this time. It’s a far too confusing situation for a man of sure stature. “Hey Dick, just so I’m clear for the press conference, I’m the Michael Coulter big ass that’s dicking up the is a videographeconomy and Jenny over there is er, comedian the big ass you’d like to rub down and sort of a with lotion? Am I reading this smart-ass. But we love him anysituation right there, big guy?” When it’s all said and done way, and don’t though, naming famous folks know why. might just be the answer. It’s easy for Republicans and Democrats to argue about the qualifications of a judge, but no one of any party could argue that a Robert DeNiro would be perfect in such a role, maybe even one of those desperate housewives if you wanna go in a completely different direction. I mean, if you’re gonna have a bunch of people in the capital pretending to care about the people, you might as well go with the best pretenders you have.

FURNITURE

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Employment 000 HELP WANTED

Campus Bus Co. needs full time 9am-5pm M-F, Selling tickets from campus office. 352-6682

Graphic Designers Earn money and gain experience with a flexible schedule at the Illini Media Production Dept. A qualified candidate will be a U of I student, have a strong sense of design and the ability to work in a fast- paced but fun environment. Experience in Photoshop, Illustrator & InDesign a plus. We produce ads for the Daily Illini and Buzz as well as marketing materials for the various branches of Illini Media. For more information contact jonhuff@illinimedia.com

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 or 847446-1001 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

BILINGUAL AND ENGLISH INSURANCE AGENTS NEEDED IN SCHERERVILLE AND SOUTH BEND INDIANA TINLEY PARK, ILLINOIS, ORLANDO AND HOLLYWOOD, FLORIDA

Just minutes from campus!

Help wanted, full/ part-time EXPERIENCED servers and bartenders, kitchen staff needed, and hosts/ hostesses.

035

Summer Jobs

Apply in Person. 1201 S. Neil St, Champaign Jillian’s is an equal opportunity employer. We hire without regard to sex, race, age, religion, national origin, or disability. All applicants will be considered for all positions regardless of sex, race, age, religion, national origin, or disability. Zorba’s now hiring for fall semester. must be able to start in early August. Flexible schedule. Lunches, evenings and weekends. Free food during shift. Apply at Zorba’s 627 E. Green St. 344-0710. Harvest help on organic vegetable farm. Now-Nov. 1. Full/ Part time positions. 643-2031.

EMPLOYMENT WANTED040 Home health care provider. $10/ hour. 24 hours $150. Will clean, cook, run errands and help with personal care. State Certified. Please call 493-7830

Services

FOR SALE

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For Sale: Couch, poker table, 2 chairs, exercise equipment. 630-862-0879. Well- trained 4 month old chocolate lab mix puppy. Playful, loving, smart. Call Melissa (630)-299-9524. Window A/C units. One new, one used. $60 total. bigal_2001@yahoo.com

Transportation 300

410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

CENTRAL PARK LOFTS 1 BEDROOMS FROM $450.00 2 BEDROOMS FROM $470.00 - BEAUTIFUL PARK VIEWS - COMPLETELY REMODELED LOCATED AT 305 W. PARK, 403 W. PARK & 405 W. PARK IN URBANA, IL CLOSE TO ENGINEERING CAMPUS CLOSE TO CARLE HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY AVAILABLE

CALL KEN AT 898-5894 1st & Green location. New 2 Bedroom w/Loft skylights. Washer/Dryer, Deck, Free parking. $700/mon. Aug. to Aug. 202-7070

410

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626 1 BR. Apartments. 108 E. Stoughton, C. Parking Included Fall ‘05. $435/ month. 384-0333.

615 W. Kirby

408 E. Elm. Very nice 1 or 2 bedroom apts. Near Lincoln Square, busline, major shopping. Ample Parking. Water, trash, year lease. No Pets.$395- $450/mo. 356-9288.

609 W. MAIN, U. Renting Aug 2005. 2 bedroom apts Furnished $525/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, laundry facilities, Gas Heat, Ethernet connection avail. Showing 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 712 West Illinois- Totally Remodeled. Hardwood floors, fireplace, dining room, loft. Washer/ Dryer, most utilities, 1 or 2 Bath. 2 BR- $550, 3 BR- $900- $1050. 637-2111

2 BEDROOMS 2 BATHROOMS! Holy Bleep! Beautifully furnished or unfurnished apartments located on 2 bus lines. 903 N. Lincoln Ave, Urbana. Washer and Dryer in apartment. Dishwasher, fireplace, balcony. FROM $790/MONTH & FREE CABLE. For showing contact: John Smith Property Management 217-384-6930 www.johnsmithproperties.com

www.wpgu.com

APARTMENTS

410

Furnished/Unfurnished BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

COURTYARD ON RANDOLPH 713 S. Randolph,C. Now renting for Fall. 1, 3 BR left from $678. Near campus, downtown Champaign. Includes cable, parking, water. Has laundry facilities and seasonal pool. 217-352-8540 217-355-4608 (evenings) www.faronproperties.com

3 BEDROOM TOWNHOUSE HESSEL PARK

CA, DW, CARPORT, RECROOM. 1600 SQ. FT. $1250 398-1998 www.lincolnshireprop.com

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RENT IT!!! 337-8337

351-1767

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White wire shelf, 48 x 18, $20; Solid oak round table with four chairs, $125; Drafting table, 31 x 42; $40. Reverse osmosis/DI unit, $40; Truck speaker box, $15. Peter 355-3841. Leave message.

APARTMENTS

HELP WANTED

www.johnsonrentals.com rentals@johnsonrentals.com

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Furnished/Unfurnished

Call for an appointment

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

220

1 (888) 801-JOBS employment@americallgroup.com

Fall 2005 Apartments

Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

f r o m

030

HELP WANTED

*Flexible Schedules/Hrs *Paid Vacations/Holidays *Opportunity for holiday time off *Health/Life/Dental/401(k) *Incentives/Raises/Bonuses *Career Advancement *Great atmosphere!

Johnson Rentals

Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

s o u n d s

Students needed to paint campus apartments in August. $9/hr. Apply at Roland Realty, 212 East Green, C. 8-5 M-F.

BILINGUALS NEEDED!

• 2 Bedrooms 308 E. Armory 312 E. White Property Management 104 E. John 103 E. Stoughton 105 S. Fourth • Efficiencies 210/208 E. White 1103 S. Euclid • 3 Bedrooms • 1 Bedrooms 807 S. Locust 508 S. First 210/208 E. White 108 W. Charles 312 E. White 312 E. White 104 E. John 105 S. Fourth 104 E. John • 4 Bedrooms 103 E. Stoughton 807 S. Locust 210/208 E. White

Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word

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PAINTERS

In addition to our $7.50-$9.50 hourly wage, we offer a great scholarship program for college students!

JILLIAN’S

Ag/ AnSci/ Vet Get great experience with pets and animal nutrition as a part-time sales clerk for Prairieland Feeds. Knowledge of pets/ horses helpful. Some heavy lifting required. Flexible hours. Shawn 352-2232.

Billed rate: 35¢/word

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Part Time

RATES:

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Group leaders wanted for Holy Cross After Care Program in Champaign. Monday thru Friday, 2:305:30. Starting Fall. Call Mrs. Devall 398-2878.

Full/Part Time

RESERVATIONIST

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

s o u n d s

010

dailyillini.com

Earn a $250-$800 Tuition Check each Semester!

Part Time

Champaign Country Club Applications are now being accepted for full/ part time banquet and dining room food and beverage servers. Excellent opportunity to work with a friendly and professional staff in very modern kitchens and dining rooms. Experience is a plus but club will also train. Excellent compensation and benefits. Apply in person between the hours of 10a.m- 8p.m

HELP WANTED

020

HELP WANTED

Full Time

DEADLINE:

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

BOOKS

COMPARE TEXTBOOK PRICES! Search 24 bookstores with 1 click! Shipping and taxes calculated. http://www.bookhq.com

Hell no, but why can’t Courtney Love take over as Drug Czar?? MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

17

buzz weekly •

WHEN I'M OUT WALKING I STRUT MY STUFF YEAH I'M SO STRUNG OUT.

Available for Fall 407 E. University. Luxury one bedrooms, fully equipped- microwave, washer/dryer in-unit. Security building with elevator. Balconies, underground parking. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012 Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626. Available now. Efficiencies 1, 2, 3 bedrooms. $390- $750/mo. 7664746.

Efficiency $225/mo. A/C, laundry, available now. 404 Edgebrook, C. Near busline. 721-6477. EXECUTIVE LOFT 201 S. Wright St., Champaign. Adjacent to Engineering campus. Loft bedroom, security parking, balcony, A/C, laundry. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012 Large, Decorated, Quiet. 2 Br. Loft apt. Close to campus, No smoke, No pets, utilities paid, with W/D. $700. 355-9463.

No Campus Hassle NEAR DOWNTOWN & WESTSIDE PARK

1418 LINCOLNSHIRE, SW CHAMPAIGN 2 BR, water furn. $495/mo LOCATION HAS: central air, laundry facilities, parking, near busline 352-3642, 356-0660

UNIQUE Available Fall. 1 bedroom loft apartment. Fully equipped. Balcony, parking. 409 W. Green. Call Hardwick Apartments, 356-5272 or 621-1012.

Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S


w i l l

a s t r o l o g y

only a tiny bit of rarefied substance. And yet that bit will be interesting and useful.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

Can you keep your balance and your dignity while trying to sit on two fences at once? Can you be a friend to all, a servant of none, and a freestyle wheeler-dealer all at the same time? As you're flattered and criticized for the oddest reasons, and as people try to manipulate you and impress you, can you keep your ego from inflating and deflating like a hyperventilating lung? The answer to these questions is a definite maybe, Cancerian. For best results, be as dispassionate as a Buddhist monk and as brave as a drunk without actually getting drunk.

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

The Drama Queen or Drama King within you is secretly plotting to raise the emotional stakes to record levels. For that inner extremist, mere adventure might not be enough; thunderous histrionics and romantic excess may be considered essential. While I have no problem with you enjoying a fevered fling, I don't think it's necessary to cross the line into delirious hysteria and volcanic excess. So here's what I'm going to suggest: Take your inner Drama Queen or Drama King for about ten rides on an actual roller coaster. That way he or she may not need to make your whole life into a roller coaster.

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

There was a personalized California license plate on the yellow Hummer I saw today. It said "U Move." I took this to be the driver's announcement that he was king of the road and had no obligation to watch where he was going. He seemed to be saying that if you had a problem with him, you should get the hell out of his way. In the moment, I took this to be an idiotic communication from a belligerent jerk, but when I studied your astrological aspects for the coming week I realized it was actually a good motto for you to adopt. For a limited time only, you have the right to proclaim the following to anyone who thinks you should be anywhere else besides where you are: "No, you move."

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

Let's say you were somehow able to travel to a comet as it approached the sun. Let's say you also brought a container in which you were able to capture all of the vapor from the comet's 5,000-mile gaseous tail. The container wouldn't have to be any bigger than a wine bottle, because there's not much actual stuff in the tail. This hypothetical project is a good metaphor for the work you have ahead of you in the coming week, Gemini. Vast volumes of hot air will contain

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

Please speak the following series of declarations at least once a day in the coming week: "I want to drink in the brilliance of someone's beautiful eyes today. I want to dream of the kind of intimacy I will someday be worthy of. I want to learn to enjoy everything that I do and everything that happens to me, even if it's not what I expected or thought I needed. I want the end of every story to be quickly followed by the beginning of the next story. I want to go home to a home I have never known."

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

The average person throws out 19 pounds of garbage per week. Between now and August 24, however, you have license to exceed that figure by a large margin. In fact, Virgo, the cosmos would love you to carry out a Great Purge. So take full advantage of this opportunity to lighten your load. Get rid of every last scrap of dross and clutter, give away anything that has outlived its usefulness, and unburden yourself of outmoded necessities that have been sitting untouched in a closet or storage unit for more than a year. As much as you possibly can, free yourself of the unnecessary residues of your past.

LIBRA

what ’s your sign?

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

John Madden was a successful pro football coach who understood the value of taking things both seriously and not very seriously at all. He was a hard-working master of strategy and motivation who drilled his team relentlessly so they'd develop the discipline necessary to excel. But he also understood how critical it was to inject playfulness into the mix, even during high-pressure moments. There was one stretch in the 1970s when he prepared his players for each game with a fierce pep talk, but then refused to let them leave the locker room until running back Mark van Eeghen could summon a belch. I recommend this dual approach to you, Scorpio. As you wade in to your upcoming dates with destiny, draw liberally on the leavening power of teasing and whimsy.

SAGITTARIUS

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

You've probably heard tales about people who buy an old desk at a thrift store or a used jacket at a yard sale, then find a big stash of money in it when they get it home. You may also know the story of author Byron Katie, who was wallowing in depres-

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PISCES

Homework: There's a bunch of homework for you in my new book, Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. More info is at www.freewillastrology.com.

crossword

A panel of 23 astrologers headed by yours truly has named you Window Shopper of the Month for August. I know that may sound premature, given the fact that you have not yet done much browsing this month. But the astrological omens are clear. We're confident you'll justify our faith and do what's necessary to earn your title. To get you pointed in the right direction, here are some things you might want to fantasize about acquiring: a silk lantern, a stained glass window, a bird's nest, black pearls, 2,000-year-old honey, photos of smoke rising from ritually consecrated fires, a compass that once belonged to a great explorer, and anything else that simultaneously evokes your love of beauty and your sense of wonder.

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(Feb. 19-March 20)

Wasting your time and getting caught up in trivial details might feel like the most natural thing to do in the coming week, but I'd love to steer you away from doing that. Please please pretty please take heed of this proverb from ancient Rome: "The eagle does not catch flies." In other words, avoid lowering yourself to pursue rewards that don't really interest you or nourish you. And please please pretty please also listen to the advice of this Nepalese proverb: "Conduct short rituals for minor gods." Translation: Acknowledge the second-tier powersthat-be, but don't prostrate yourself in front of them for hours.

46 A high school dropout might get it 47 Blanket stealer 48 Key of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 7 49 Easy-to-use product tagline 52 Gretzky, at one point 55 “Frankie Says ___” (‘80s T-shirt) 56 Number on the right side of a clock face 57 Celebrity clique 58 Do without a big wedding 59 Nancy Grace’s employer 60 Clumsy type 61 Sees 62 That, in Spanish Down 1 Helpful Beach Boys girl? 2 Bounced off the walls 3 Take things not-tooseriously

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4 Cat Stevens song about a city in Asia 5 The A in James A. Garfield 6 Nabokov novel of 1957 7 Ball-___ hammer 8 Starchy plants 9 Actress Manheim who wrote the 1995 play “Wake Up, I’m Fat” 10 Half-committed response, when said slowly 11 Jimmy (open) 12 Abbr. for a not-sonice guy 13 Dir. opposite WSW 21 Amount of electrical resistance 22 I ___ (Chinese text) 25 V8 component 26 Greeting on the seas 27 Animal near the end of ABC books 29 In need of plastic surgery 30 He governs “Cahleefohnya” 34 Basic cheer 35 Less than a little 36 “That’s just the ___ the iceberg” 37 Doofusy guys 38 GQ or YM, for short 42 NPR Puzzlemaster Will 44 Prepares a violin bow 45 Duke in Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” 48 Phil Collins song “Moves Like ___, Looks Like a Man” 49 Egg holder 50 Ward of “Once and Again” 51 Vegas hole 52 “Charter” tree 53 Beastie Boys album “___ Communication” 54 Lucy of “Kill Bill: Vol. 1”

Answers pg. 9

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flight,

you will forever walk

the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Early American politician and inventor Benjamin Franklin said, "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." And yet for one period of his life, he frequently stayed up all night reading books. Make him your role model in the coming week, Aquarius. Use his example to inspire you to rebel against one of your mottoes or refuse to obey your own well-worn advice. At least temporarily, the best thing you can do for your mental health is experiment with alternatives to policies you usually regard as inviolable.

jonesin crossword puzzle

28 “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give ___” 29 “Mack the Knife” singer Bobby 31 Exclamation close to 17-across 32 Aptly named 1986 BMX film 33 Element found much more in robots than humans 34 Really get 35 Idea that may summon up courage 38 Pouty face 39 Start of a saying about violent TV news 40 “Girl, I’ll take ___ a movie show...” (Prince lyric) 41 Far right-wing commentator Coulter 42 Valerie Plame et al., supposedly 43 Way around Paris

Once you have tasted

sion on the floor of a halfway house when she had the epiphany that ultimately transformed her into a brilliant, rich, successful teacher. I believe your fate in the coming weeks will have elements of both of those motifs.

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Across 1 VCR button 4 Sorority letter 9 Thicket of small trees 14 Common diatomic molecule 15 “Li’l” comic strip character 16 “The Rubber Capital of the World” 17 “I’m onto your scheme!” 18 “Dancer in the Dark” director Lars von ___ 19 “Uh, I guess that could happen” 20 Bob Marley song redone by the Fugees in 1996 23 Original “King Kong” character Carl, to be reprised by Jack Black in a 2005 remake 24 Reporter’s “w” 25 Low reef

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(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

According to my analysis of the astrological omens, it would be an excellent time for you to put on your best clothes and clean toilets at a leper colony in India, or give exuberant foot massages to workers at a sewage disposal plant, or sing songs, sip champagne, and play card games with patients at a psychiatric hospital. Adventures like those would put you in close alignment with your highest possible destiny. Do they strike you as too extreme? If so, figure out alternatives that will work for you: Conjure up your most expansive and generous energy as you carry out taxing tasks that benefit other people.

CAPRICORN

a u g u s t

Leonardo da Vinci • artist, painter, and inventor

VACTION ON THE FLY Pilots find a common ground DAVID SOLANA • PHOTO EDITOR

Editors Note:This past weekend, Buzz photo editor and flight enthusiast David Solana attended the Experimental Aircraft Association’s Oshkosh Airventure in Wisconsin. Here are his stories.

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or one week every year, an airport in Oshkosh,Wisc., becomes the busiest airport in the world. As the host of the Experimental Aircraft Association’s annual Oshkosh Airventure, the small town welcomes pilots, flying enthusiasts, and anyone else they can drag along with them—people show up from around the world. While the airport has accommodated aircraft as large as the Concorde and beyond, most of the traffic is composed of smaller planes: antiques, warbirds (military craft), and plenty of homebuilts (planes built in people’s garages). My father and I took the trip to Oshkosh in his homebuilt RV-6A. As exhilarating as any ordeal that can kill you, even if you try to do everything right, the landing at Oshkosh is always an adventure.The landing procedure instructions are available on the Internet and make a small book when they are printed out. My father is meticulous with his preparations, so I always feel safe. Things were going well at first. Every incoming plane has to enter a landing pattern over a small town, Ripon. From there, you follow the railroad tracks on in to the airport.We were doing well. Traffic was lighter than we’d expected – which is to say it was heavy, but not as busy as the last time we went together. In other words, we were able to maintain the requisite half-mile between ourselves and the guy in front of us. Then we heard a pilot on the radio. He wasn’t sure if his landing gear was working. The airport tower diverted us to a holding pattern around a nearby lake. A holding pattern can become boring without much effort. You just fly in a circle around a point on the ground until you are allowed to continue on to your destination. It’s important to plan fuel usage for such occasions when flying into Oshkosh, because it’s entirely possible to get into a pattern for an hour or longer. Eventually we were directed back toward the airport. As we were preparing to follow the plane in front of us back over the railroad tracks, some maverick appeared off our left wing, and we had to swing out wide to keep a safe distance between us and him. We swung out so far that we ended up leading in The Bulldog performs during the Saturday the whole pack of planes that had been stuck in holdafternoon airshow. s o u n d s

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PHOTOS • DAVOD SOLANA

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The highlight of Oshkosh Airventure 2005 was the arrival of the White Knight and Space Ship One.The space ship, the first civilian craft to reach space, flew for the last time on the last day of Oshkosh on a trip to the Smithsonian Museum in Washington, D.C. ing patterns even farther out. But you can’t guarantee you’re going to land even when you’re 200 feet above the runway. As we were in a steep descent toward the runway, a plane pulled out directly in front of us. A voice on the radio said something about going over him, but he started to take off. It was apparent that flying over this guy would only earn us a plane flying up into our belly. Instead, we dropped into an even steeper decent, and landed behind him. Finally, with our wheels on the ground and the plane off the runway, we had arrived.

My dad is a safe pilot. I can tell by how he picks the forums

we attend.We always go to at least one about safety.This weekend we went to two. We also saw many other speakers, from Charles Lindbergh’s grandson, Erik, to Paul Tibbets, the pilot who dropped the first atomic bomb from the Enola Gay, and on to Chuck Yeager, the first man to fly faster than the speed of sound. You can learn all sorts of good stuff at safety lectures, though – some of it applicable in situations that don’t involve flying. For example, safety lecturer Pat Shaub told us the most dangerous

two words in the English language are “Watch this!” But Shaub warned, as a Texan, the danger following those words is amplified infinitely if the phrase is preceded by “Hold my beer.” Ironically, the forum we attended immediately afterward, which had a far larger crowd than Shaub’s, demonstrated exactly why the safety speaker’s words were ineffective. Former test pilots Bob Hoover and Chuck Yeager had some fun stories about buzzing – what we had just learned to be the number one cause of fatal airplane crashes. Hoover recounted a time when he was at a flying competition in Europe in the mid-1900s. The United States had gotten destroyed in the competition, coming in ninth place while the Soviet Union team took an easy first. Afterward, the Soviets, who knew Hoover and held him in high esteem, invited him to try out their superior planes. He accepted and proceeded to perform their entire routine. Upside down.

One of the best parts about flying to the show is that you don’t have to camp in the crowded area with people who drove to the show. Instead, you can pitch your tent right next to the plane. C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

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books for him to autograph, and I wandered around largely uninterested, until I came across what could have been mistaken for a shrine to products bearing the likeness of Rosie the Riveter. Homages to the famed gal who represented women in the workforce and the great American female contribution to World War II can now be purchased in the form of potholders, kitchen towels, and other wonderful cloth products for use in daily domestic life. Finally, in the 21st century, we have made a concerted effort to return Rosie to the kitchen. I took a photo, and left scratching my head – wondering how they had managed to pull that off without more people realizing just how ironic it all was.

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A World War II air raid demonstration ends with the 100-foot Wall of Flame during a B-17 Flying Fortress flyover.The famed bombers fly over the crowd with their bomb bays open as pyrotechnics light up the landing strip. The EAA emphasizes Oshkosh Airventure’s reputation as one of the cleanest large gatherings of people in the world. I saw one piece of trash on the ground the whole time I was there. People simply pick up after themselves. The showers are clean, the portable toilets are clean, and plenty of people clean their planes right after parking. Yet I couldn’t help but be slightly disturbed at the not-so-tasty tangy zing of the water from the

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fountain next to the showers. With no desire to poison myself, I tried to drink as little as possible and I refilled my bottle as soon as we arrived at the museum. The museum holds an amazing collection of artifacts from the history of flying, including the smallest airplane – about the size of a coffee table—and a gift shop. My father went to the gift shop to purchase one of Yeager’s

o leave, we had to take off on a runway next to another plane. We dodged a slower plane, watched others of equivalent speed head off in various directions, and eventually shared the sky with only the clouds. When we got far enough south, we had to skirt the restricted airspace around Chicago. Flying into restricted airspace is not recommended, even if you are interested in seeing U.S. air power in action. We were cheerfully reminded of safety speaker Shaub’s joke: while it certainly isn’t a good idea to play around in such a situation, it’s probably possible to out-slow any military jet. My father and I chuckled about the comment and I toyed with suggesting the idea—then I remembered the speaker’s next comment: even though you’ll definitely see the guy sitting off your wing, the tail of your craft is probably blocking your view of the guy just behind you, who has your plane lined up in his crosshairs. Luckily, I’m not a pilot. My dad avoided the airspace, and we arrived safely in Champaign-Urbana, landing softly on an empty runway. buzz

DAVID JUST • STAFF WRITER

Stealth has good intentions and is rather

ambitious when compared to some of director Rob Cohen’s previous work, like The Fast and the Furious. It wows us from the get-go with the flying capabilities of three Navy pilots who have been selected out of a pool of 400 to fly the newest state-of-the-art fighter jets. Ben, Kara, and Henry (Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx) are a reliable and professional triumvirate, uneasy about the addition of a fourth team member. The new wingman is an artificially intelligent plane named EDI (pronounced “Eddie�), which stands for “Extreme Deep Invader.� Ben, the team leader, hates the idea of a machine flying with him. EDI, Ben explains, lacks the ability to make moral judgments and to reason.These are interesting points, and could have helped this movie distinguish itself from the drivel churned out this summer in theatres. But the film fails to explore them fully, or even at all. The new jets are to be used to combat terrorism all across the globe. Stealth predicts an amazingly bleak future for the world. In it, there are thousands of terrorists with guns and nuclear warheads, and apparently they’ve made public their meeting times and places to discuss the destruction

THE DEVIL’S REJECTS DAN MALONEY • STAFF WRITER

Violence, mayhem, bloodshed and the

We went to the booths of ever y flying organization that my father is a member of. The flight instructor's organization--NAMI, whose activities and benefits my father isn't even sure of – was holding a pre-flight inspection contest. Entrants had 15 minutes to look over the plane and find each of the 10 problems the plane had that would render

greatest “villains� of modern memory comprise Rob Zombie’s sequel The Devil’s Rejects. The word “sequel� doesn’t do it justice. Whereas House of a 1000 Corpses was the opening act, The Devil’s Rejects is easily the main act, and a bloody, vile and violent act it is.Written, directed, and produced by Mr. Rob Zombie, The Devil’s Rejects is pure mastery in satirical bloodshed that seems to view itself not as humor, but as truly horrifying. Like Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove, the effect works, and when the theater is empty and the aisles ae bare, the true terror creeps in by not explaining why they do what they do. Led by Sheriff Wydell (William Forsythe), the brother of the slain officer in House of a 1000 Corpses, the Texas State Police make a full scale raid on the dilapidated house to finally solve the 1000 or so disappearances over the past few years. Mama Firefly (Leslie Easterbrook), the one

it unsafe for flight. My dad is a joker, and confidently told ever yone around they really didn't have to show up later to see if they'd won – he's already taken care of first place. Well, in spite of the 11 problems he found, 8 of which were correct, he still ended up in a four-way tie for first and got a box of flight instruction swag.

buzz weekly •

SHE TRIED TO SIT ON MY LAP WHILE I WAS STANDING UP.

STEALTH

OSHKOSH AIRVENTURE C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

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of the world. So in come the pilots. In one scene, three terrorist heads are meeting in a high-rise building in the middle of a nation’s capitol. The pilots destroy the building and it collapses into a giant heap in the middle of the city. I realize we have adopted a first-strike strategy, but knocking down skyscrapers seems more like revenge, not warfare. While returning from this mission, EDI is struck by a bolt of lightning which allows him to somehow think and feel. But EDI isn’t scary enough. His monotone voice doesn’t come close to HAL 9000’s in Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, against which STEALTH • JESSICA BIEL the film draws many comparisons. EDI rise, Lucas and Biel go to Thailand and watches the pilots talking about him, just stand near a waterfall in their bathing suits as HAL is able to read lips.They both have and take photos of each other. It is no a small red circle for a face (so to speak) doubt that a film about Navy pilots is and are both always shown in extreme going to include at least a small love story. close-up. EDI is definitely paying tribute Thanks, Top Gun, we owe you one. to Kubrick’s robot since both films deal Stealth’s heart is in the right place, but with the theme of the breakdown of arti- that isn’t enough to warrant seeing this ficial intelligence. film. By the film’s end, Lucas has sparked If this had been what Stealth was wars with at least half a dozen nations and about, the film might have succeeded. defeated several others single-handedly. Rather, it takes ludicrous turns at every Subplots like these, and the love story, and corner. After celebrating their first suc- EDI’s descent to evil are too much. and, cessful mission, the three pilots go to a quite frankly, too stupid. Not even the rave to party. After destroying the high- nice visual effects could save this one.

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captured, is fiercely interrogated by the hardened Sheriff while three of the killers, Baby (Sherri Moon), Otis (Bill Mosley), and the famous Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig) escape and go on a killing spree the likes of which have not been seen on film since The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The film is brilliant, simply put. It’s funny and violent and doesn’t make any excuses for what makes the killers tick.They kill for the sake of killing.They kidnap and torture simply for the THE DEVIL’S REJECTS • BILL MOSELEY & SHERI MOON ZOMBIE enjoyment of doing so. They’re the mod- prepare the audience for the coming ern Wild Bunch. Zombie does have an storm.They seem to provide no real point in-depth knowledge of film. If you get the except to serve as filler between the ultrareferences to all the Firefly’s surnames, violent confrontations of the Fireflys and then you know what I’m talking about. their victims. A warning must be offered to the What’s also so much fun about the film is the random cameos and bit parts of infa- potential viewers of this film: it’s not for The film is mous horror movie stars of the past: P.J. the squeamish. There are some horrible brilliant, Soles (Halloween), Ken Forsee (the original sections that are truly disturbing. Some simply put. Dawn of the Dead), and Michael Berryman will see them and consider them art; others will see the same scenes and become (The Hills Have Eyes), to name a few. The only problem readily visible is the physically ill. Beware of seeing this movie. pacing of the film. The opening and clos- But if you’ve got the stomach, then sit ing of the film are such an intense bits of back, enjoy, and try not to vomit on the filmmaking that the middle scenes simply person next to you. LIONS GATE FILMS

YOU GOT A BANANA, YOU DON'T NEED NO SNACK PACK.

COLUMBIA PICTURES

6 • buzz weekly

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WEDDING CRASHERS (R) Fri. 1:20 2:00 4:15 4:50 7:10 8:00 9:50 10:30 Sat. 11:30 1:20 2:00 4:15 4:50 7:10 8:00 9:50 10:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:20 2:00 4:15 4:50 7:10 8:00 9:50 WAR OF WORLDS (PG–13) Fri. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sat. 11:15 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 THE ISLAND (PG–13) Fri. Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 10:00 FANTASTIC FOUR (PG–13) Fri. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 ◆ STEALTH (PG–13) Fri. Thu. 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:00 7:30 9:55 10:10 SKY HIGH (PG) Fri. 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 11:55 Sat. 11:30 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 11:55 Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 MUST LOVE DOGS (PG–13) Fri. 1:10 1:45 3:30 4:45 5:50 7:10 8:10 9:30 10:25 11:40 Sat. 11:15 1:10 1:45 3:30 4:45 5:50 7:10 8:10 9:30 10:25 11:40 Sun. - Thu. 1:10 1:45 3:30 4:45 5:50 7:10 8:10 9:30

HUSTLE & FLOW (R) Fri. Thu. 2:00 7:20 DEVIL'S REJECTS (R) Fri. Thu. 5:00 10:00 CHARLIE & CHOCOLATE (PG) Fri. 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:00 7:20 9:35 9:55 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:20 9:35 9:55 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:00 7:20 9:35 9:55 BATMAN BEGINS (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 7:00 9:50 BAD NEWS BEARS (PG–13) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:00 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:00 MARCH-PENGIUNS (G) Fri. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 11:30 Sat. 11:30 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 DUKES OF HAZZARD (PG–13) Fri. 1:00 1:30 1:45 3:25 4:15 4:30 5:50 7:00 7:15 8:15 9:30 9:45 10:40 12:00 Sat. 11:15 1:00 1:30 1:45 3:25 4:15 4:30 5:50 7:00 7:15 8:15 9:30 9:45 10:40 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 1:30 1:45 3:25 4:15 4:30 5:50 7:00 7:15 8:15 9:30 9:45 10:40

Showtimes for 8/5 thru 8/11

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I don’t think there’s anything innately erotic about pigs,

“You always have a very smooth explanation.”

but generally, they are sweet, shy, mysterious creatures.

“ What do you want me to do, learn to stutter? ”

When they get big, they get kinda gross. Kim Deal • Pixies

The Maltese Falcon

First of all, the entire premise of Must Love

It’s a romantic comedy we’ve seen a dozen times before.

Dogs is totally implausible. Do you mean to tell me Diane Lane can’t find a decent guy? Yeah, right; like anyone will believe that. Lane is far and away the best-looking actress (without cosmetic surgery) who’s almost 40. Her resume is impressive — from child star to mature beauty — and she’s capable of delivering the goods in finely drawn lead roles, but has somehow missed the mark in Must Love Dogs. Lane is Sarah Nolan, a recently divorced preschool teacher, nervous about diving headfirst into the vexing world of dating. Then her wisecracking sister, Carol (Elizabeth Perkins) offers a solution: internet dating. After all, it seems to have worked for their father, Bill (Christopher Plummer)—an aging Don Juan with more suitorettes than he can handle. But after a few disastrously bad dates, Sarah is understandably skeptical. Then there’s Jake (John Cusack), a recent divorcee and boat builder with a penchant for Dr. Zhivago. Upon the insistence of his buddy, Charlie (Ben Shenkman), Jake too, is thrust back into the dating circuit. Naturally, Sarah and Jake find one another through an internet ad with one stipulation: “must love dogs.” Though neither one actually owns a dog, they decide to meet anyway. There seems to be a mutual attraction between the lovelorn souls, but their collective awkwardness gets the better of them. As the Sarah/Jake relationship begins to blossom, yet another guy enters the scene. Bob

BOX OFFICE

1. Wedding Crashers ($20M) 2. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ($16.4M) 3. Sky High ($14.6M) 4. Stealth ($13.3M) 5. Must Love Dogs ($12.9M) 6. Fantastic Four ($6.9M) 7. The Island ($6M) 8. Bad News Bears ($5.6M) 9. War of the Worlds ($5.5M) 10. March of the Penguins ($4M)

DVD RENTALS 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

Constantine Million Dollar Baby The Pacifier Ice Princess Man of the House Hide and Seek Hitch Miss Congeniality 2 Hostage

10. Diary of a Mad Black Woman

The production is still in need of various crew members. Positions are still open for a 3rd Assistant Camera (to become 2nd AC halfway through), two Grips, two Electrical crew members, a Hospitality

Coordinator, a Transport Coordinator and a Craft Services Coordinator. The above are all full-time positions, but also available are jobs as Production Assistants (for which one or two days a week will suffice) that offer a unique insight into the filmmaking process. If you have any interest in being involved or would like to know more about the film, contact: films@firstsunrise.net

Have any news or announcements about the local film community? We’d like to hear them--send us an email at buzz@readbuzz.com

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

NEW LINE CINEMA

From August 16th through mid-September, First Sunrise Productions will be shooting the independent character-driven drama Aura, IL in Champaign. Written, directed and produced by Yu Hasegawa-Johnson, the award-winning script follows three principal protagonists: an eight-year old boy refusing to believe his mother's passing, a seventeen year old girl fantasizing about her per fect death, and a twenty-seven year old man whose brush with cancer derails his dreams.

After shooting wrapped on Dreamscape Cinema's Angst last month, it is apparent that Champaign has much to offer as an alternative locale for independent cinema in the Midwest. For this production, First Sunrise is bringing in talent from all over the country as well as utilizing members of the local community who wish to gain valuable industry experience.

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KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY FRED KOSCHMANN

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Local Film Spotlight News & Notes MOVIE NEWS BY SHADIE ELNASHAI

LOLLAPALOOZA2005: THE FUTURE AND FARRELL

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veryone knows the history behind Lollapalooza. Last year’s failure to sell tickets was the first year people asked about the future of the tour. A last-minute push to keep Lolla alive turned the tour into a festival, and with a little political elbow grease, Chicago’s Grant Park became a six-stage, two block gathering, with at least three performers at a time. Lollapalooza 2005 suffered considerable bleed between the two stages located in the large bowl, something Chicago poet Thax (who introduced the Brian Jonestown Massacre’s performance) called “kind of lame.” As it stands, though, bleeding sound was only a small price to pay for the privilege to observe the state of Perry Farrell’s dream nearly 15 years after its inception. Near the beginning of Saturday’s music, France’s M83 was unable to translate their symphonics to a festival, repeating a lesson Buzz also learned at the previous week’s Intonation Festival: bands that rely upon samples are often left with little to do on stage. The Kaiser Chiefs brought their hooky British charm, and a diminutive Liz Phair dealt with her stage fright just down the street on the Magnificent Mile,The Gap was using her image to sell chinos. Buzz caught Dandy Warhols’ guitarist Peter Holstrom checking out the Brian Jonestown Massacre set (opposite Dashboard Confessional): he declared BJM’s feedback attack to be “freakin’ brilliant.” Despite what DiG! may suggest, these guys appreciate each other’s work. Depending upon who you ask, Cake’s John McCrea is either a tactless idiot or a brilliant satirist. McCrea and band turned out skronky takes on their classic cuts. Billy Idol, in incredible shape despite his considerable years (and probably the oldest performer of the weekend), declared the day fit for a white wedding: at that very moment, the overcast weather gave way to a welcome bout of light rain. Akron, OH duo The Black Keys suprised the crowd by being young and white, and their modern, unpretentious blues frightened anyone who hadn’t heard them yet. Guitarist/vocalist Dan Auerbach moved like a snake nailed to the microphone, and drummer Patrick Carney completed the band without bass. On the other end of the spectrum, fans were treated to Primus’ only show for 2005, appearing amidst their newest prop - giant rubber duckies. A victim of poor planning, New York’s Walkmen lost fans of their angular East Coast sound to the gravitational pull of Pixies, who performed simultaneously. It may have been only one of numerous appearances of the influencial band in Chicago since their recent reunion, but that didn’t seem to slow attendance. Eschewing the spacey fare from Bossanova, Pixies favored the shimmery grunge of Doolittle and the tension of their swan song, Trompe Le Monde. Dressed like a school-teacher and holding her cigarette in the middle of her mouth, bassist Kim Deal performed her classic “Gigantic” with both grit and sugar. Midway through, Black Francis switched

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PHOTO ´• CAMBRIA HARKEY (LOLLAPALOOZA.COM)

PAUL PRIKAZSKY • LEAD REVIEWER

Top 10

the week’s top

WARNER BROTHERS

MUST LOVE DOGS

(Dermot Mulroney), the hunky father of one of Sarah’s students, also falls for her. What is our heroine going to do? A mediocre love story follows. Diane Lane and John Cusack portray two very likable leads, but the plot needs more substance than two big stars. Sure, the movie is about the mores of dating and life after divorce, but the two leads are old. They look tired and bored in their mundane roles. There is no vitality or chemistry between them. And meeting the perfect someone over the internet has already been tapped in the Tom Hanks/Meg MUST LOVE DOGS• JOHN CUSACK & DIANE LANE Ryan cheeseball, You’ve Got Mail. It’s a romantic comedy that we’ve seen a dozen nervous, rapid-fire dialogue, right down to the times before—straight out of a cookbook overlong trench coat, he’s Lloyd Dobler again formula, already falling into relative obscurity. from the 80’s classic, Say Anything. Of course After Must Love Dogs, writer/director Gary Lloyd is more of an optimist than the cynical David Goldberg can kiss his film career goodbye. Jake; but the latter didn’t need a boom box and With the exception of a few decent one-liners, his a Peter Gabriel song to win a woman’s writing is flat and lifeless. Characters appear in a affections. Cusack may be stuck in a time warp, flourish and then vanish without a trace. But but he’s still pretty cool. worse yet, Goldberg lacks the visual eye vital Must Love Dogs has innumerable downfalls. to all good directors. It seems that most of his With a clichéd plot and characters, phony shots were composed straight out of a do-it- romance, sophomoric comedy, and poor writing, yourself manual for first-time filmmakers. In the it’s a wonder this adaptation of Claire Cook’s meantime, he shouldn’t rule out a career in well-received novel of the same name ever made writing or directing. He still has a shot doing it it to the big screen. There is a subtle science to at the grade-school level. crafting a perfect romantic comedy.The romance What has John Cusack been up to? Aside and comedy must be in perfect balance because from the obvious amount of time he’s spent if one outweighs the other, the result is typically eating over the past decade, not a whole lot. weak and unfulfilling. There was a time when Cusack was cool. Must Love Dogs is not worthy of its summer Though he portrayed haphazard losers that movie status. It’s bland, uneventful and totally verged on pathetic, he did it with style and tact. unspectacular. After leaving the theater, In Must Love Dogs, he seems to be reviving that chances are the audience has already forgotten particular persona from the past. From his what they just watched.

to acoustic guitar, once resting on the drum riser, and provided fans with the night’s second take on “Wave Of Mutilation.” Pixies have always been gifted with good luck, taste, and timing, and the worst complaint you could lower against them would be to resent Francis’ now-bulging waistline. Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo drolly introduced rhyhthm guitarist Brian Bell’s “Why Bother?” from sophomore-sleeper “Pinkerton,” an album Cuomo told the crowd “didn’t sell too well”. During “El Scorcho”, Cuomo name-dropped Pixies where Green Day once was. As he sat behind the keyboards for “Buddy Holly”, he resembled no rocker so much as Elvis Costello, even down to the gray suit and receding hairline. The band’s performance was effortless throughout an hour-fifteen of soaring vocals and copious blue stage lighting. Lollapalooza concertgoers certainly aren’t unified as the attendants to other festivals: there were dancers, hippies, indie kids, punks, heads, and even aging repeat offenders sporting T-shirts from years gone by. Weezer managed to unite nearly 90% of the crowd, who pumped tens of thousands of hands in the air as if to say,“There is one thing which unifies this nation, and it is anonymous whiteboy sorrow.” So much so, it seemed to suck energy away from Digable Planets, who couldn’t compete with the star-power of their Lollapalooza hip-hop predecessors. Those who stepped across the street to the smaller “Planet Stage” during the day were treated to mashups by DJ Muggs (Cypress Hill) and the ever-controversial Z-Trip. Later that night, you could hear San Francisco’s finest CDJ, Mark Farina; his Chi-city buddy Derrick Carter spun house tracks on Sunday. Farina’s unholy mixing came in handy as he steered away from his signature Mushroom Jazz sound, instead speeding up hip-hop tracks (thanks to his digital equipment)

for a small crowd of medicated hippies close out the night. Sunday was cursed by being one of the hottest days of the summer thus far: with water and experience gained from previous festivals, fans and press were able to endure eleven hours of music under extreme heat. The day effortlessly exceeded Saturday in energy, though attendance was down slightly. Responding to the heat, Metro busses had been placed in the park - they idled with AC on full blast for concertgoers. As fans entered, they were greeted by a few masked men on stilts, the only sign of the circus motif that once identified the tour. OK Go announced to the audience that they thought their new single was so good that fans deserved to hear it as it appears on the album. They weren’t just marketing, though: the be-jacketed quartet made good as they danced and lip-synced as the track was blared over the PA. Despite some convincing performances by those invited, this year was cursed by a small selection of hip-hop (something which founder Perry Farrell himself decried). Those who turned out early to catch Saul Williams’ set left satisfied as he played to the most diverse crowd to show up that weekend. Unleashing confessional rhymes and delivering spoken word between songs, Saul Stacey Williams is the real deal. Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, the also-actor incited cheer when he rapped “I know where diamonds come from / ain’t about to bling.” While he performed a song called “Black Stacey” about feeling uncomfortable in one’s own skin, he paused to ask the crowd if they could relate to that (they could), but when he asked “No, really?” many of the majoriC O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

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buzz weekly

sound ground #87

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TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

ty audience members were silent – he was also joined by Digable’s Butterfly for a powerful verse. Having been to three separate festivals this summer featuring different genres, it’s difficult to deny – rock music and concert-going is largely a sport for white males. Intense mid-day heat greeted those who attended Dinosaur Jr.’s set. Looking like a warlock with long hair billowing over his face, J. Mascis took the older crowd deep into ear-bleeding country with deeper cuts from their earliest albums, but it was hard to ignore the tension between him and returned-bassist Lou Barlow; all was forgotten when the two worked together for their now famous cover of the Cure’s “Just Like Heaven.” There was a brief lull as the crowds decided between the cute productions of Canadian identical twins Tegan and Sara and the latest from Farrell himself, the bizarre but tuneful Satellite Party (expect a single soon). Ben Kweller showed himself to be forgettable, as the Drive-By Truckers appeared with three vocalist/guitarists all taking turns on original Southern rock songs. Despite an appearance from guitarist Eric Krasno of organ trio (plus two) Soulive, who performed earlier that day, G. Love & Special Sauce were unable to draw many from the most buzzed-about band of the weekend, The Arcade Fire. With ten musicians on the stage, including two string players and a “freedom”-hornist, the Arcade Fire were an obscene whirlwind of music. Any free hand in the waistcoated ensemble was soon filled by a drumstick. The band was able to effectively translate the wintery motifs to a Mid-western crowd baked by the sun. Mousey leader Win Butler is as unlikely a frontman as they come, but playing (mostly) bass,

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crooning from mid-stage and driving Stoogesesque raveups, he created an unmistakable feeling of loss that the Fire has come to represent. Near the end, he took the song (and wireless microphone) into the crowd for a dramatic close. It should suffice to say that if they were to never record another song, Butler would sit at the right hand of Mangum and Curtis in the hearts of adoring fans: farther off, adults could just stare. Looking angelic in a starched off-white shirt, Spoon’s Britt Daniels was incredibly slick and dangerous, especially when only backed by piano and sharp drums, while Widespread Panic played their first of two sets for the night. Introduced by the ubiquitous Beatle Bob, The Dandy’s took the stage but had to compete with a band Farrell declared the “hottest group in the country”, the Killers, who obliged a huge crowd with plenty of hits. If Brandon Flowers is Morrissey, guitarist Dave Keuning is Peter Frampton based upon appearances alone. Death Cab for Cutie played one of the more intimate sets of the weekend. Judging from their current single and the new songs they played, Ben Gibbard seems to have an even more personal sound in store. On the far right stage, guitarist/producer Chris Walla was as exciting and dynamic as high-voiced Gibbard on the far left. As Widespread’s second set and Death Cab’s shoegazing hums faded away, fans began to drift off to bed. A few lingered, however, drawn by a rumor that the Smashing Pumpkins might reunite that night, one nation under a Farrell. Though it didn’t pan out, Lollapalooza seems to have survived the first difficult year in a new format. buzz

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ands come and go, but this weekend, Captain Rat and the Blind Rivets celebrate twenty-five years together with three free concerts. The fun begins tomorrow at 8:30 p.m. at Fat City Saloon in Champaign and continues Saturday at Ag Days in Villa Grove and Sunday at 6:30 p.m. at Hessel Park back in Champaign. Captain Rat and the Blind Rivets appeared on the Record Service 20th Birthday compilation in 1989 with its single “The Fightin’ Illini in Pasadena,” issued originally on orange wax in anticipation of the 1984 Rose Bowl. Implosive duo Ter minus Victor has a release date for its sophomore album Under Surveillance: September 27.Terminus Victor performs tonight at Cowboy Monkey with rock trio Quatre Tete and rapper Schäffer the Darklord (Mark Schaffer). Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $5. Triple Whip has a title for its forthcoming five-song EP, due Fall 2005: Snake Creeps Down. Recording begins this month at Pogo Studio with Mark Rubel. Triple Whip plays

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next August 16 at Cowboy Monkey with Ume,The Narrator, and FireFlies. Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $5. Triple Whip then appears August 29 on WEFT Sessions. As much as Urbana expatriate Mark Villalobos likes to quote “Spontaneous Apple Creation”, it is difficult to know when to take him literally. In any event, he announced last weekend his garage band The Idle Hours had “broked up a while ago.” He and his old bassist Nick Spizzirri are back together and adopting a new name, “to better reflect [their] musical stylings/the sunlight.” They allegedly have a show tomorrow. Armed with her solid, brand-new fulllength debut, Sprout Don’t Pout, Kate Hathaway is off to San Francisco for two months of California and Texas tour dates. There is one more opportunity to see her here before: tomorrow at The Station Theatre in Urbana, where she is one of numerous musicians opening for Raise the Roof, a festival of ten-minute plays. Show time is 8 p.m., and tickets are $12.

#87 Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of live local music every Monday night at 10 on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

Singing in German is cool again, according to the International Herald Tribune on July MOMENT OF THE WEEK 25th, 2005. Music sales were down in Germany over the last year, when sales fell to forty percent. This year, however, sales are showing more life, apparently because of the local music revival. “It’s considered cool again to sing in German. Culturally, after all that has happened in Germany, people accept listening to German texts again. Even young people,” said chief executive of Universal Music Germany, Frank Briegmann. Insert David Hasselhoff joke here.

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Back Porch BY FRANK KROLICKI

Frank Black’s latest solo CD, “Honeycomb,” is aptly titled. It’s got a smooth, relaxed flow, and a whole lot of down-home charm. The once-and-again Pixie makes it more obvious than ever that he can be very different from his Black Francis incarnation: the latter’s howling vocals and angular, post-punk guitar work can be almost completely abandoned for straightforward roots rock, and manage to come across surprisingly well. With the Pixies, Black has been experiencing a jolt of re-interest thanks to the band’s highly successful reunion tour. It would have been easy for him to make a record specifically tailored to capitalize on this success, which has curiously placed Pixies T-shirts on Hot Topic shelves and pre-teen bodies across the country. Instead, he strays in a direction that will no doubt leave the majority of that newfound audience cold. While 2003’s “Show Me Your Tears”

played out in a singer/songwriter fashion, “Honeycomb” is much more ambitious and inspired than any “logical next step” would have sounded. Black recorded the album live in Nashville, and is backed by American soul heavyweights such as Steve Cropper, Spooner Oldham and David Hood, which probably has a lot to do with its live flavor. The bouncy Americana of “Song of the Shrimp,” a tune pulled from the Elvis Presley film, “Girls! Girls! Girls,” is hard not to notice. “I Burn Today,” with its upbeat melody and random chimes, is the catchiest tune. “Strange Goodbye” finds Black crooning a duet with ex-wife Jean Black. “Another Velvet Nightmare” combines quirky, depressing lyrics (Today I felt my heart slide into my belly / So I puked it up with liquor / And I slept right where I laid”) with a drum and guitar groove that somehow manages not to make it sound like a complete downer. Closed-minded fans or those who hate the thought of stripped down Americana will probably find it difficult to warm up to “Honeycomb.” But to those unafraid of new things and who have some time to devote to it, Black’s effort proves to be a good-natured, consistent, satisfying piece of work.

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Jason Dunavan How did you get started as a tattoo artist?

Roughly 8 years ago a friend of mine got a job at a tattoo shop and he got me a job as the receptionist and I would also set the piercing station up for the piercer (He was also a tattoo artist) and after a while he suggested that I start doing the piercings. He trained me for a year to do piercings and we worked together at random tattoo shops for a few years. Then, around five years ago, I wanted to learn how to tattoo; to me it was the perfect job, I get to meet new people everyday and basically get paid to hang out with friends. Different people taught me for a couple of years how to tattoo. Then four years ago me and a friend opened Altered Egos. Then two years ago my friend was bought out by my current partner and fellow tattoo artist Greg (Stump) Cogdill. I still do all the piercings and share the tattoo responsibilities with Greg and our employees. As of right now I’ve been tattooing full time for going on three years. What is your personal process for planning a new tattoo?

Personally, for the tattoos I get, I fly off the seat of my pants- generally I like them to be humorous, and to

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Frank Black Honeycomb

buzz weekly •

YOU WANT MILLION DOLLARS!! ROBOT CHICKEN

somehow reflect my personality. If I am planning a tattoo for another person I generally take their input on ideas and designs and try to add my own flavor. I recommend that people do their research on placement and size of tattoo- I want it to be their decision because it's theirs forever. At the same time, it is flattering for someone to want me to design a tattoo for them. Many friendships have been gained through this process and I look forward to many more in the future. What is your favorite quote?

Actually I have two, the first being "This Too Shall Pass." I have it tattooed across my chest from collar bone to bone. My girlfriend said it was what fit my personality the best. It’s actually funny because as I was getting the tattoo applied it hurt so bad all I could think about was it being done and how ironic that was. The other one is, "The grass is never greener on the other side." I have started and not finished a lot of things because of the thought of something being better somewhere else. But in reality it’s almost always worse than where you were. Hey Gills, sound familiar? What has influenced you?

My girlfriend and best friend Jenica; she keeps me in check and she is a great mom to our son. Tattoo artists I have been influenced by are Eric Merrill, Jime Litwalk, Jason Blanton, Nick Wiggins, Cody Pruitt, Stump, Curt Haggerty, Jeff Zuck, Grime, Tony Ciavarro, and Dana Clinton. Also my mom, Trenton Dunavan and Peyton Dunavan. I also just look to everyday life and music and just try to incorporate everything into right now and if that does not work, I look to the Food Network, the kids of South Park, the Cable 88's and carnie folk-their life on the road must be hard. What has been your most interesting tattoo?

PHOTOS • DAVID SOLANA

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Dunavan's favorite tattoo.

It's a toss up between my portrait of Ron Jeremy and my rib piece which consists of a tornado ripping through a trailer park with a guy saying, "Can't have sh*t". They are both pretty popular subjects but those are tattoos that are on me that I have collected. Of the tattoos that I've done for other people the most interesting and talked about tattoos are the ones I've done on some of the athletes here at the U of I and a girl from Texas whose back piece I started and finished in two weeks. That experience was crazy; this girl was getting a whole back piece from me (basically getting worked on for 5-6 hours a day once every three days while also getting a sleeve from Cody on the days I wasn’t working on her). She is still to this day the most hardcore girl I’ve ever met: tough as nails. Jason Donovan currently works at Altered Egos on Green St. in campustown. Dunavan's favorite tattoo. s o u n d s

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THEATRE REVIEW

buzz pick

“The pain and itch”

Headllig ghts

SYD SLOBODNIK • STAFF WRITER

PHOTOS • MICHAEL BROSILOW

While undeniably funny, many times its use of outrageous situations and extreme language can challenge an audience’s sensitivities and values to such an extent it puts them off. Bruce Norris’s The Pain and the Itch, which is making its world premiere at Chicago’s Steppenwolf Theatre, is one such dark social comedy. With weighty subject matter, several shocking visual elements and frequent verbal vulgarities, it has the potential to upset many. This is clearly the playwright’s goal; no one can claim this production is light matinee fare. The Pain and the Itch is at times a powerful critical view of the comfortable upper middle-class and their dysfunctional family existence. On the surface the play’s main characters, Clay and Kelly, are a typical, well-off, Kate Arrington and ensemble member Midwestern couple in Tracy Letts in The Pain and the Itch by their late thirties or early Bruce Norris, directed by ensemble member forties. She’s a lawyer and he’s a temporarily unemAnna D. Shapiro.

ployed homemaker for their two children. After stepping down from the role as breadwinner, Clay has taken on the responsibility of overprotecting the family from the possibly of every potential threat, worrying to the point of paranoia. Their toddler daughter, Kayla, has a mysterious genital rash which is dealt with in a delicate and natural manner in the play. However, details revealed later on add a very upsetting perspective to the little girl’s condition and taint the morality of several of the play’s central characters. The main focus of the play’s narrative concerns a Thanksgiving dinner hosted by Clay and Kelly. They have invited Carol, Clay’s mother; Cash, Clay’s estranged brother who is a plastic surgeon; Kalina, Cash’s sexy girlfriend; and _____, an African cab driver.What develops over the course of the evening is rather reminiscent of the hilarious 1994 Ted Demme dark Christmas film comedy, The Ref, as social niceties are thrown to the wind and relatives vent decade old anger and resentment in a most surreal manner. Director Anna D. Shapiro skillfully guides her seven-person ensemble cast through a roller coaster of emotions and compells the audience to unravel the reasons for Clay’s obsession with security and his frustration with the many gremlins that he perceives are messing up his household.What are those strange noises coming from upstairs that only he seems to hear? Why can’t he come to a decision on how to treat his daughter’s irritating rash? Why does he hate his brother so much? And who, or what, is biting into the avocados that are left out overnight on the kitchen counter? Norris’s characters talk frankly in the most dark and cynical ways. The primarily liberal family vents their political dissatisfaction with the Bush-era conservatism of the day by using many four-lettered words. A variety of sexual peccadilloes and marital issues are aired

Friday, August 5 Headlights, Skeletons, This is Goodbye, Fa-She Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $5

Jayne Houdyshell, Kate Arrington, Lillian Almaguer, Zak Orth, ensemble member Mariann Mayberry and James Vincent Meredith in even more casual ways, with Clay eplaining to his African guest, “We’re basically just about family.” When Kalina offers Kayla a quick “grown-up” girl’s beauty make-up session, Kelly immediately protests, “You’ll not indoctrinate my daughter into the world of male objectification!” Shapiro’s actors Zak Orth and Mariann Mayberry are quite effective as the dysfunctional Clay and Kelly although Orth’s hysterics are bit overdone. Jayne Houdyshell’s Carol, the simple, plain-speaking first grade teacher who likes PBS programming and Tracy Letts’ cynical Cash add a fair amount of more tempered humor. Norris’s script makes each character a soapbox speaker rather than a well-rounded character that an audience can come to care about. Perhaps this is Norris embracing a common tenet of many dark comedies; the audiences aren’t supposed to find these people likable. The Pain and the Itch is, though, the type of challenging, non-mainstream play that the Steppenwolf company of yesteryear would have done more often. It’s often a humorous and disturbing play for discriminating tastes. The Pain and the Itch is performed at the Steppenwolf’s main stage at 1650 N. Halsted St. in Chicago until August 28.

This Friday, the Headlights take to the stage at Cowboy Monkey. The last week in July marked the release of the remastered version of their highly anticipated second EP which was put together for their summer tour. The EP is only available through the band and their website, so this show provides an opportunity to pick one up. If you haven’t yet heard Headlights, let’s just say beautiful intertwining male and female vocals, respectably complex yet immediately accessible complementary guitar and keyboard melodies, and other extras that are icing on the cake.Skeletons open up the show. A fellow by the name of Matt Mehlan is the man behind this band who is receiving some praise from those over at Pitchfork, for what that’s worth. Mehlan will be accompanied by the band he assembled for the purpose of live shows who are referred to as “The GirlFaced Boys”. The work of Skeletons is a mixture of electronics and noise with some aspects of traditional songwriting. Interesting without being too weird, Splendid sums it up well by saying “Mehlan uses technology to make his music more human.”

PHOTO CREDIT: HTTP://WWW.HEADLIGHTSMUSIC.COM/

Dark comedy is certainly an acquired taste for most theatergoers.

Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Eclectic Theory The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Weasel Dreams [jazz] Mike 'n Molly's, 5-7pm, $3 The Prairie Dogs Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Al Ieradi Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Desafinado [bossanova] Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free

This year's line-up includes two very different works of Shaw’s, Major Barbara and You Never Can Tell. You Never Can Tell is a family comedy with some coincidences, lots of clever lines and a few cheap laughs. Morris Panych keeps the action and laughs moving smoothly and the aquatic set designs of Ken MacDonald add visual beauty to the grandeur of Shaw's language. Among the other offerings at the Shaw Festival is the Brecht/Weill musical Happy End and Somerset Maugham's rarely performed The Constant Wife. Thadeusz Bradecki restages his very successful production from two seasons ago with nearly the same style and power. Mike Feingold's brilliant translation has rarely looked or sounded better. The Constant Wife, directed by Neil Munro is a stylish, talky comedy of manners and morals.Written in 1926, it does seem a bit dated, but Neil Munro has given us a slick time capsule of an era when the way you did something was as important as what you did.With this fine cast, the lesson is not lost in this era. Fo r t i c k e t i n f o r m at i o n , S t rat f o r d : 8 0 0 - 5 6 7 - 1 6 0 0 o r www.stratford-festival.ca, Shaw: 800-511-shaw or www.shawfest.com.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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THURSDAY August 4 Live Music Krannert Uncorked: Chin-Fei Chan [flute], Jing-I Jang [harp] Krannert Center, 5pm, free Leigh Meador Organ Trio Iron Post, 7pm, TBA Melissa Ferrick, Katie Todd The Highdive, doors at 8pm, show at 9pm, $10 in advance, $12 at the door Jammin' Jimmy Bean Tommy G's, 9pm, free Tom Paynter Quartet [jazz] Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3 Isle of View, Centerview, Killing Abraham Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Terminus Victor, Quatre Tete, Schaffer The Darklord [rock] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Shovelrack White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free

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Roof. The rarely performed Orpheus is a rewrite of his early Battle of Angels and is best known through its film version from 1959, The Fugitive Kind. Miles Potter's production really captures the gritty Southern flavor of this tragedy. Only a few over the top moments mar the well done rendition of this rare gem. But, problems abound in Richard Monette's mannered production of Cat. In particular, Cynthia Dale as Maggie the Cat. Her excessively mannered performance is so distracting that it overwhelms good supporting performances. No production of this play can survive a disaster of this magnitude from a character of such importance. The same can be said for Dolly Levi in Hello Dolly, one of two musicals Stratford is showcasing this season. Fortunately, Lucy Peacock's ‘Dolly’ is full of sparkle and Susan H. Schulman's production is full of that infectious energy that makes Hello Dolly one of the enduring classics of the musical theater. Three hours to the east in Niagara-on-the-Lake is the Shaw Festival. It boasts the distinction of being the only theater festival primarily dedicated to performing the works of George Bernard Shaw.

FRIDAY August 5

The Buick All-Stars Hubers, 8-11pm, donations Captain Rat and the Blind Rivets Fat City Saloon, 8:30pm, free Urbana Booking Co. presents: Headlights, Skeletons, This is Goodbye, The Fa She Monde Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $5 Seven Year Existence, All Will Fall, Grotesque, Arailius Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Trouble Is [hard rock/metal covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5 DJ Elise [deep house, broken beat] Boltini, 6-10pm, free DJ Bonsu, DJ Impact [hip hop, Chicago deep house] Nargile, 9pm, free before 11pm, $5 after DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ J-Phlip [house] Boltini, 10pm, free CFK [house] Chester St., 10pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO LIST A POSTING E-MAIL CALENDAR@READBUZZ.COM BY SUNDAY NIGHT.

JEFFREY NELSON • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

J

Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign, 7:30pm, $7-$9 Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd. Urbana, 5:30pm, free Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free Kids Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free

--Cassie Conner

Stratford And Shaw Festival Reviews ust a day-long road trip will make you believe that more than typical summer fare survives in the performing arts.At Canada's two premier summer theater festivals, The Stratford Festival and The Shaw Festival, there is fine theater offered that rivals the pleasant environment of the Canadian landscape. Keep in mind these travel tips for Ontario-the US dollar is worth about $1.20 Canadian; U.S. credit cards charge a 3% fee for all "foreign transactions"; bring proof of citizenship when you cross the border; and remember most Canadian ATM machines do not charge fees. About ten hours from East Central Illinois is the Stratford Festival in Stratford, Ontario. With Shakespeare as their anchor, they offer The Tempest and an exciting production of As You Like It. Antoni Cimolini's splendid production is fast-paced, fun, and faithful to the Bard's poetry.The live musical score of Canada's cutting-edge pop group, The Barenaked Ladies, adds some appropriate music that is a great deal more than a series of variations on "Hey, Nonnie, Nonnie". From the modern era, Stratford offers two Tennessee Williams' productions, Or pheus Descending and Cat on a Hot Tin

Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, free Kilborn Alley Joe’s Brewery, 8-11pm, free JBC Jillian’s Band Battle III Jillian’s, 9pm, TBA DJ Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, electro] Barfly, 10pm, free Ladies Night: DJ Res Tuly, DJ Black Ice [dance hall, hip hop] Nargile, 9pm, ladies free before 11pm, $5 DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Solace: DJ J-Phlip, DJ Mertz [deep house] Soma, 10pm, free Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm-1am, free Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free Health and Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S


Study of Primary, Secondary and Tertiary

! > >> > > >

Mental Health Center of Champaign County The Mental Health Center 24-hour hotline offers crisis intervention, supportive listening, suicide prevention, and community information for callers going through all types of situations. Volunteers from various professions and life situations, including college students, police officers, teachers, and parents are welcomed. Each volunteer goes through 20 hours of training to develop and further hone interviewing skills and the ability to be calm, non-judgmental listeners in tense situations. Often times, callers have no one else to provide social support and the Crisis Line may be a final option. Training is offered twice yearly, and consists of 20 hrs. We ask that volunteers take three, four-hour shifts per month and can make a year commitment. We have shifts available in four-hour slots any time of the day. Volunteers work from home. E-mail or call Barb Bressner bbressner@mhcenter.org; (217) 373-2430 to find out information about upcoming training.

SATURDAY August 6

Fresh off of an exhibit at Aroma Café, Sven is back, this time at Café Kopi. His new show is called Study of Primary, Secondary and Tertiary. Sven used photographs that he had taken as inspiration for the colorful and abstract paintings in this exhibit. Sven seems to highlight the subjects of the paintings in white while creating vivid abstraction around them. Study of Primary, Secondary and Tertiary will be showing until August 31. Café Kopi is located in downtown Champaign at 109 North Walnut. All of the paintings are for sale. –Todd Swiss

Art&T heater Sandra Ahten’s Weekend Oil Painting Workshop [for the beginning to intermediate level] August 5, 6, 7. Contact Sandra at 367-6345 or spiritofsandra@hotmail.com for more information. All in the Family [photos by husband and wife photography team Cindy and Kirby Pringle. Also on display: works from Leo Frucza and Work by Leo Grucza and Robert K. O'Daniell] Prairie Boatworks Gallery through August 21 Opening recpetion August 7, 2-4pm Living Language: Painting and Poetry Unite by Marie Mamaril [watercolor and acrylic on canvas] Pages for All Ages through Sept 14 Raise the Roof! [A benefit for the Station Theatre in 10 Minute Plays] Station Theater July 28-August 6, $10-$12, Wednesday and Sundays are two for one. Acoustic Music at 7:10pm, plays start at 8. Abstraction: Intertwining Identities [a retrospective of the life and works of James Belton Bonsall.] Illini Union Art Gallery through August 12 Reception on July 29, 5-7pm Recent Works by Louis Ballard and Hua Nian [Community artists ponder existence through vibrant ceramics and acrylic/watercolor-painted creations. Using their chosen medium as a springboard, each artist illuminates the concept of

personal identity born through life experience.] Parkland Art Gallery through August 4 The Pilsen Photo Group [This Chicago based collective creates,displays, and promotes experimental and traditional photography in their gallery in the historic Pilsen arts community. The show will feature the work of Champaign artist Richard Wilson.] Cinema Gallery through August 13 Study of Landscapes and Study of Verbs [abstract paintings by Sven] Aroma Cafe through August 31 Study of Primary, Secondary and Tertiary [abstract works by Sven] Cafe Kopi through August 31 Larry Kanfer Gallery [Spectacular large Prairiescapes images. Also European, Cityscape, Woodland and the University of Illinois collections] Art With Intention Open Studio [Individually directed drop-in studio time allowing adults to explore their creative voices. Instructed by Sandra Ahten] Thursdays, 4-9pm. Visit www.spiritofsandra.com for details and location. Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work. If you are interested in exhibiting your art, please contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe at art4aroma@yahoo.com.

Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band[country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Music Among the Vines: Blues Deacons Alto Vineyards, 7:30-10:30pm, $3 Full Throttle [rock] The Phoenix, 9pm, free Paraih, Clio, Stuck with Aurther The Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $5 Candy Foster and Shades of Blue [blues, R&B] Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $4 Jaded Kayne, From These Remains, Anew, Midshift Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Lorenzo Goetz, Missing the Point Iron Post, 10pm, TBA Kelly's Heroes [classic rock/new rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Free Fest [free music, food, coffee, rummage sale and more] Wake the Dead Coffee Shop, 4pm, free Narissa Bond Pages for All Ages, 8pm, free DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Night Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, free "G" Force DJ The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am DJ Asiatic, DJ Rice [R&B, hip hop] Nargile, 10pm, $5 DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover This Is Our House: Marc Fairfield, DJ Impact, ReFlex, Jon Meske, Amp, CFK Hiram Lodge, TBA Dancing Tango Dancing coordinated by Melih Sener Verde Gallery, 8pm lesson, 9pm dance, $5 Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free

SUNDAY August 7 Live Music The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free WWHP 98.3 presents: The Bottle Rockets, The Delta Kings The Highdive, doors at 6:30pm, show at 7:30pm, $10/$12 Urbana Booking Co. presents: Cameron McGill, The Wandering Sons, The Elanors Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA Breaking Benjamin, No Address Canopy Club, 9pm, $20

GET ACTIVE< < < << < !

Mathematicians, Desperately Obvious, Epitaph for an Enemy Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $5 Irish Traditional Music Session [hosted by fiddler Lisa Boucher] Mike & Molly's, 5pm, TBA DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free Jon Meske [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

MONDAY August 8 Live Music Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA Chris and Jim [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free Motown Mondays: As Is Nargile, 7pm, $5 Man at Arms, Wartorn, Blown to Bits, System Rejects [punk] Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $5 Love and Joy [comedy and live R&B] Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Open Mic Night hosted by Brandon T. Washington Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Quad Remedy [classic rock] Tommy G's, 10pm, free DJ DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free Mixtape Mondays: DJ Elise, TBA [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Books Gentle Fiction Bookgroup [discuss books that tell stories of characters wrestling with life's ordinary problems rather than the global ones] Pages for All Ages, 2pm, free Kids Babies’ Lap Time Moonlight Edition [songs, stories and rhymes for the youngest patrons, birth-24 mo., with an adult] Urbana Free Library, 6:30-7pm, free

Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates [acoustic] The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free DJ Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin [goth/industrial/electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2 Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [hip hop music videos] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Lil Big Bass [drum & bass, 2 step] Boltini, 10pm, free Urbana Booking Co. presents: Odiorne, 2ON2OUT Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Bang!: DJ Impact [house and other sounds] Nargile, 10pm, TBA Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free

Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke and DJ Track's, 9pm-1am Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Super Stars [hear stories and songs about nighttime stars and “stars” of picture books like Barbie, Thomas the Train and Bob the Builder] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free register at 367-4069 Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

WEDNESDAY August 10 Live Music Apollo Poetics [featuring guest MC's and vocalists] Nargile, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8-10pm Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8-10pm Urbana Booking Co. presents: Missing the Point, Kill Me Quick, The Infinity Room Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Salsa Dancing [salsa/mambo/bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [80's & 90's] Soma, 10pm, TBA DJ Raphael, TBA [drum n bass] Nargile, 9pm, TBA Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Outlaw Karaoke The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm Fitness Yoga Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd. Urbana, 5:30-7pm, free

art pick

The Pilsen Photo Group This week is your last chance to view the works of The Pilsen Photo Group, on display at Cinema Gallery, 120 W. Main St., Urbana. The show features Chicagobased artists Richard Wilson, Jeff Mickey, Renae Lillie, Ned Broderick, Obleo Beck and Michael Wasniowski, and will be on display until August 13.

TUESDAY August 9 Live Music Bluegrass Jam [amateurs and professionals welcome] Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Mike Ingram Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

Books The Girls Only Bookclub [The Girls Only Book Club is a team approach to discussing books, where adult women and girls (grades 4 - 7) from the area can partner on exploring fine literature in a fun, guided setting. We'll enjoy a snack, some cool prizes, and lots of fun talk. This week’s book: Hitler's Daughter by Jackie French] Pages for All Ages, 5:30pm, free

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ASSEMBLY HALL | First & Florida, Champaign 333-5000 AMERICAN LEGION POST 24 | 705 W Bloomington, Champaign 356-5144 AMERICAN LEGION POST 71 | 107 N Broadway, Urbana 367-3121 BARFLY | 120 N Neil, Champaign 352-9756 BOLTINI LOUNGE | 211 N Neil, Champaign 378-8001 BOARDMAN’S ART THEATER | 126 W Church, Champaign 351-0068 THE BRASS RAIL | 15 E University, Champaign 352-7512 THE BRIDGE | 124 W. White St. Champaign THE CANOPY CLUB (GARDEN GRILL) | 708 S Goodwin, Urbana 367-3140 CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana CIVITAS | 112 Main St., Urbana0 COURTYARD CAFE | Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana 333-4666 COWBOY MONKEY | 6 Taylor, Champaign 398-2688 CURTIS ORCHARD | 3902 S Duncan, Champaign 359-5565 D.R. DIGGERS | 604 S Country Fair, Champaign 356-0888 ELMER’S CLUB 45 | 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana 344-3101 EMBASSY TAVERN & GRILL | 114 S Race, Urbana 384-9526 ESQUIRE LOUNGE | 106 N Walnut, Champaign 398-5858 FALLON’S ICE HOUSE | 703 N Prospect, Champaign 398-5760 FAT CITY SALOON | 505 S Chestnut, Champaign 356-7100 THE GREAT IMPASTA | 114 W Church, Champaign 359-7377 THE HIGHDIVE | 51 Main, Champaign 359-4444 HUBER’S | 1312 W Church, Champaign 352-0606 ILLINOIS DISCIPLES FOUNDATION | 610 E Springfield, Champaign 352-8721 INDEPENDENT MEDIA CENTER | 218 W Main, Urbana 344-8820 THE IRON POST | 120 S Race, Urbana 337-7678 JACKSON’S RIBS-N-TIPS| 116 N First, Champaign 355-2916 JOE’S BREWERY | 706 S Fifth, Champaign 384-1790 KRANNERT ART MUSEUM | 500 E Peabody, Champaign 333-1861 KRANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS | 500 S Goodwin, Urbana Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX LA CASA CULTURAL LATINA | 1203 W Nevada, Urbana 333-4950

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Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion, 8pm-1am, TBA

LAVA | 1906 W Bradley, Champaign 352-8714 LES’S LOUNGE | 403 N Coler, Urbana 328-4000 LINCOLN CASTLE | 209 S Broadway, Urbana 344-7720 MALIBU BAY LOUNGE | North Route 45, Urbana 328-7415 MIKE ‘N’ MOLLY’S | 105 N Market, Champaign 355-1236 NARGILE | 207 W Clark, Champaign NEIL STREET PUB | 1505 N Neil, Champaign 359-1601 THE OFFICE | 214 W Main, Urbana 344-7608 OPENSOURCE | 12 E. Washington,Champaign http://opensource.boxwith.com PARKLAND COLLEGE | 2400 W Bradley, Champaign 351-2528 PHOENIX | 215 S Neil, Champaign 355-7866 PIA’S OF RANTOUL | Route 136 E, Rantoul 893-8244 RED HERRING/CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana 344-1176 ROSE BOWL TAVERN | 106 N Race, Urbana 367-7031 SIDE BAR | 55 E. Main, Champaign 398-5760 SPRINGER CULTURAL CENTER | 301 N Randolph, Champaign 398-2376 SPURLOCK MUSEUM | 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 THE STATION THEATRE | 223 N Broadway, Urbana 384-4000 STRAWBERRY FIELDS CAFE | 306 W Springfield, Urbana 328-1655 TK WENDL’S | 1901 S Highcross, Urbana 255-5328 TOMMY G’S | 123 S Mattis, Country Fair Shopping Center 359-2177 TONIC | 619 S Wright, Champaign 356-6768 TRACKS | 116 N Chestnut, Champaign 762-8116 UNIVERSITY YMCA | 1001 S Wright, Champaign 344-0721 URBANA CIVIC CENTER | 108 Water St., Urbana VERDE/VERDANT | 17 E Taylor, Champaign 366-3204 VIRGINIA THEATRE | 203 W Park Ave, Champaign 356-9053 WAKE THE DEAD CAFE | 1210 E. Eldorado St. Decatur 233-4525 WASHINGTON STREET PUB | 600 S. Washington, Tuscola 253-6850 WHITE HORSE INN | 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign 352-5945 ZORBA’S | 627 E Green, Champaign 344-0710

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S


Study of Primary, Secondary and Tertiary

! > >> > > >

Mental Health Center of Champaign County The Mental Health Center 24-hour hotline offers crisis intervention, supportive listening, suicide prevention, and community information for callers going through all types of situations. Volunteers from various professions and life situations, including college students, police officers, teachers, and parents are welcomed. Each volunteer goes through 20 hours of training to develop and further hone interviewing skills and the ability to be calm, non-judgmental listeners in tense situations. Often times, callers have no one else to provide social support and the Crisis Line may be a final option. Training is offered twice yearly, and consists of 20 hrs. We ask that volunteers take three, four-hour shifts per month and can make a year commitment. We have shifts available in four-hour slots any time of the day. Volunteers work from home. E-mail or call Barb Bressner bbressner@mhcenter.org; (217) 373-2430 to find out information about upcoming training.

SATURDAY August 6

Fresh off of an exhibit at Aroma Café, Sven is back, this time at Café Kopi. His new show is called Study of Primary, Secondary and Tertiary. Sven used photographs that he had taken as inspiration for the colorful and abstract paintings in this exhibit. Sven seems to highlight the subjects of the paintings in white while creating vivid abstraction around them. Study of Primary, Secondary and Tertiary will be showing until August 31. Café Kopi is located in downtown Champaign at 109 North Walnut. All of the paintings are for sale. –Todd Swiss

Art&T heater Sandra Ahten’s Weekend Oil Painting Workshop [for the beginning to intermediate level] August 5, 6, 7. Contact Sandra at 367-6345 or spiritofsandra@hotmail.com for more information. All in the Family [photos by husband and wife photography team Cindy and Kirby Pringle. Also on display: works from Leo Frucza and Work by Leo Grucza and Robert K. O'Daniell] Prairie Boatworks Gallery through August 21 Opening recpetion August 7, 2-4pm Living Language: Painting and Poetry Unite by Marie Mamaril [watercolor and acrylic on canvas] Pages for All Ages through Sept 14 Raise the Roof! [A benefit for the Station Theatre in 10 Minute Plays] Station Theater July 28-August 6, $10-$12, Wednesday and Sundays are two for one. Acoustic Music at 7:10pm, plays start at 8. Abstraction: Intertwining Identities [a retrospective of the life and works of James Belton Bonsall.] Illini Union Art Gallery through August 12 Reception on July 29, 5-7pm Recent Works by Louis Ballard and Hua Nian [Community artists ponder existence through vibrant ceramics and acrylic/watercolor-painted creations. Using their chosen medium as a springboard, each artist illuminates the concept of

personal identity born through life experience.] Parkland Art Gallery through August 4 The Pilsen Photo Group [This Chicago based collective creates,displays, and promotes experimental and traditional photography in their gallery in the historic Pilsen arts community. The show will feature the work of Champaign artist Richard Wilson.] Cinema Gallery through August 13 Study of Landscapes and Study of Verbs [abstract paintings by Sven] Aroma Cafe through August 31 Study of Primary, Secondary and Tertiary [abstract works by Sven] Cafe Kopi through August 31 Larry Kanfer Gallery [Spectacular large Prairiescapes images. Also European, Cityscape, Woodland and the University of Illinois collections] Art With Intention Open Studio [Individually directed drop-in studio time allowing adults to explore their creative voices. Instructed by Sandra Ahten] Thursdays, 4-9pm. Visit www.spiritofsandra.com for details and location. Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work. If you are interested in exhibiting your art, please contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe at art4aroma@yahoo.com.

Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band[country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Music Among the Vines: Blues Deacons Alto Vineyards, 7:30-10:30pm, $3 Full Throttle [rock] The Phoenix, 9pm, free Paraih, Clio, Stuck with Aurther The Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $5 Candy Foster and Shades of Blue [blues, R&B] Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $4 Jaded Kayne, From These Remains, Anew, Midshift Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Lorenzo Goetz, Missing the Point Iron Post, 10pm, TBA Kelly's Heroes [classic rock/new rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Free Fest [free music, food, coffee, rummage sale and more] Wake the Dead Coffee Shop, 4pm, free Narissa Bond Pages for All Ages, 8pm, free DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Night Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, free "G" Force DJ The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am DJ Asiatic, DJ Rice [R&B, hip hop] Nargile, 10pm, $5 DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover This Is Our House: Marc Fairfield, DJ Impact, ReFlex, Jon Meske, Amp, CFK Hiram Lodge, TBA Dancing Tango Dancing coordinated by Melih Sener Verde Gallery, 8pm lesson, 9pm dance, $5 Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free

SUNDAY August 7 Live Music The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free WWHP 98.3 presents: The Bottle Rockets, The Delta Kings The Highdive, doors at 6:30pm, show at 7:30pm, $10/$12 Urbana Booking Co. presents: Cameron McGill, The Wandering Sons, The Elanors Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA Breaking Benjamin, No Address Canopy Club, 9pm, $20

GET ACTIVE< < < << < !

Mathematicians, Desperately Obvious, Epitaph for an Enemy Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $5 Irish Traditional Music Session [hosted by fiddler Lisa Boucher] Mike & Molly's, 5pm, TBA DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free Jon Meske [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

MONDAY August 8 Live Music Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA Chris and Jim [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free Motown Mondays: As Is Nargile, 7pm, $5 Man at Arms, Wartorn, Blown to Bits, System Rejects [punk] Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $5 Love and Joy [comedy and live R&B] Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Open Mic Night hosted by Brandon T. Washington Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Quad Remedy [classic rock] Tommy G's, 10pm, free DJ DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free Mixtape Mondays: DJ Elise, TBA [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Books Gentle Fiction Bookgroup [discuss books that tell stories of characters wrestling with life's ordinary problems rather than the global ones] Pages for All Ages, 2pm, free Kids Babies’ Lap Time Moonlight Edition [songs, stories and rhymes for the youngest patrons, birth-24 mo., with an adult] Urbana Free Library, 6:30-7pm, free

Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates [acoustic] The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free DJ Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin [goth/industrial/electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2 Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [hip hop music videos] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Lil Big Bass [drum & bass, 2 step] Boltini, 10pm, free Urbana Booking Co. presents: Odiorne, 2ON2OUT Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Bang!: DJ Impact [house and other sounds] Nargile, 10pm, TBA Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free

Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke and DJ Track's, 9pm-1am Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Super Stars [hear stories and songs about nighttime stars and “stars” of picture books like Barbie, Thomas the Train and Bob the Builder] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free register at 367-4069 Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

WEDNESDAY August 10 Live Music Apollo Poetics [featuring guest MC's and vocalists] Nargile, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8-10pm Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8-10pm Urbana Booking Co. presents: Missing the Point, Kill Me Quick, The Infinity Room Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Salsa Dancing [salsa/mambo/bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [80's & 90's] Soma, 10pm, TBA DJ Raphael, TBA [drum n bass] Nargile, 9pm, TBA Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Outlaw Karaoke The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm Fitness Yoga Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd. Urbana, 5:30-7pm, free

art pick

The Pilsen Photo Group This week is your last chance to view the works of The Pilsen Photo Group, on display at Cinema Gallery, 120 W. Main St., Urbana. The show features Chicagobased artists Richard Wilson, Jeff Mickey, Renae Lillie, Ned Broderick, Obleo Beck and Michael Wasniowski, and will be on display until August 13.

TUESDAY August 9 Live Music Bluegrass Jam [amateurs and professionals welcome] Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Mike Ingram Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

Books The Girls Only Bookclub [The Girls Only Book Club is a team approach to discussing books, where adult women and girls (grades 4 - 7) from the area can partner on exploring fine literature in a fun, guided setting. We'll enjoy a snack, some cool prizes, and lots of fun talk. This week’s book: Hitler's Daughter by Jackie French] Pages for All Ages, 5:30pm, free

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ASSEMBLY HALL | First & Florida, Champaign 333-5000 AMERICAN LEGION POST 24 | 705 W Bloomington, Champaign 356-5144 AMERICAN LEGION POST 71 | 107 N Broadway, Urbana 367-3121 BARFLY | 120 N Neil, Champaign 352-9756 BOLTINI LOUNGE | 211 N Neil, Champaign 378-8001 BOARDMAN’S ART THEATER | 126 W Church, Champaign 351-0068 THE BRASS RAIL | 15 E University, Champaign 352-7512 THE BRIDGE | 124 W. White St. Champaign THE CANOPY CLUB (GARDEN GRILL) | 708 S Goodwin, Urbana 367-3140 CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana CIVITAS | 112 Main St., Urbana0 COURTYARD CAFE | Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana 333-4666 COWBOY MONKEY | 6 Taylor, Champaign 398-2688 CURTIS ORCHARD | 3902 S Duncan, Champaign 359-5565 D.R. DIGGERS | 604 S Country Fair, Champaign 356-0888 ELMER’S CLUB 45 | 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana 344-3101 EMBASSY TAVERN & GRILL | 114 S Race, Urbana 384-9526 ESQUIRE LOUNGE | 106 N Walnut, Champaign 398-5858 FALLON’S ICE HOUSE | 703 N Prospect, Champaign 398-5760 FAT CITY SALOON | 505 S Chestnut, Champaign 356-7100 THE GREAT IMPASTA | 114 W Church, Champaign 359-7377 THE HIGHDIVE | 51 Main, Champaign 359-4444 HUBER’S | 1312 W Church, Champaign 352-0606 ILLINOIS DISCIPLES FOUNDATION | 610 E Springfield, Champaign 352-8721 INDEPENDENT MEDIA CENTER | 218 W Main, Urbana 344-8820 THE IRON POST | 120 S Race, Urbana 337-7678 JACKSON’S RIBS-N-TIPS| 116 N First, Champaign 355-2916 JOE’S BREWERY | 706 S Fifth, Champaign 384-1790 KRANNERT ART MUSEUM | 500 E Peabody, Champaign 333-1861 KRANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS | 500 S Goodwin, Urbana Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX LA CASA CULTURAL LATINA | 1203 W Nevada, Urbana 333-4950

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Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion, 8pm-1am, TBA

LAVA | 1906 W Bradley, Champaign 352-8714 LES’S LOUNGE | 403 N Coler, Urbana 328-4000 LINCOLN CASTLE | 209 S Broadway, Urbana 344-7720 MALIBU BAY LOUNGE | North Route 45, Urbana 328-7415 MIKE ‘N’ MOLLY’S | 105 N Market, Champaign 355-1236 NARGILE | 207 W Clark, Champaign NEIL STREET PUB | 1505 N Neil, Champaign 359-1601 THE OFFICE | 214 W Main, Urbana 344-7608 OPENSOURCE | 12 E. Washington,Champaign http://opensource.boxwith.com PARKLAND COLLEGE | 2400 W Bradley, Champaign 351-2528 PHOENIX | 215 S Neil, Champaign 355-7866 PIA’S OF RANTOUL | Route 136 E, Rantoul 893-8244 RED HERRING/CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana 344-1176 ROSE BOWL TAVERN | 106 N Race, Urbana 367-7031 SIDE BAR | 55 E. Main, Champaign 398-5760 SPRINGER CULTURAL CENTER | 301 N Randolph, Champaign 398-2376 SPURLOCK MUSEUM | 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 THE STATION THEATRE | 223 N Broadway, Urbana 384-4000 STRAWBERRY FIELDS CAFE | 306 W Springfield, Urbana 328-1655 TK WENDL’S | 1901 S Highcross, Urbana 255-5328 TOMMY G’S | 123 S Mattis, Country Fair Shopping Center 359-2177 TONIC | 619 S Wright, Champaign 356-6768 TRACKS | 116 N Chestnut, Champaign 762-8116 UNIVERSITY YMCA | 1001 S Wright, Champaign 344-0721 URBANA CIVIC CENTER | 108 Water St., Urbana VERDE/VERDANT | 17 E Taylor, Champaign 366-3204 VIRGINIA THEATRE | 203 W Park Ave, Champaign 356-9053 WAKE THE DEAD CAFE | 1210 E. Eldorado St. Decatur 233-4525 WASHINGTON STREET PUB | 600 S. Washington, Tuscola 253-6850 WHITE HORSE INN | 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign 352-5945 ZORBA’S | 627 E Green, Champaign 344-0710

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S


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THEATRE REVIEW

buzz pick

“The pain and itch”

Headllig ghts

SYD SLOBODNIK • STAFF WRITER

PHOTOS • MICHAEL BROSILOW

While undeniably funny, many times its use of outrageous situations and extreme language can challenge an audience’s sensitivities and values to such an extent it puts them off. Bruce Norris’s The Pain and the Itch, which is making its world premiere at Chicago’s Steppenwolf Theatre, is one such dark social comedy. With weighty subject matter, several shocking visual elements and frequent verbal vulgarities, it has the potential to upset many. This is clearly the playwright’s goal; no one can claim this production is light matinee fare. The Pain and the Itch is at times a powerful critical view of the comfortable upper middle-class and their dysfunctional family existence. On the surface the play’s main characters, Clay and Kelly, are a typical, well-off, Kate Arrington and ensemble member Midwestern couple in Tracy Letts in The Pain and the Itch by their late thirties or early Bruce Norris, directed by ensemble member forties. She’s a lawyer and he’s a temporarily unemAnna D. Shapiro.

ployed homemaker for their two children. After stepping down from the role as breadwinner, Clay has taken on the responsibility of overprotecting the family from the possibly of every potential threat, worrying to the point of paranoia. Their toddler daughter, Kayla, has a mysterious genital rash which is dealt with in a delicate and natural manner in the play. However, details revealed later on add a very upsetting perspective to the little girl’s condition and taint the morality of several of the play’s central characters. The main focus of the play’s narrative concerns a Thanksgiving dinner hosted by Clay and Kelly. They have invited Carol, Clay’s mother; Cash, Clay’s estranged brother who is a plastic surgeon; Kalina, Cash’s sexy girlfriend; and _____, an African cab driver.What develops over the course of the evening is rather reminiscent of the hilarious 1994 Ted Demme dark Christmas film comedy, The Ref, as social niceties are thrown to the wind and relatives vent decade old anger and resentment in a most surreal manner. Director Anna D. Shapiro skillfully guides her seven-person ensemble cast through a roller coaster of emotions and compells the audience to unravel the reasons for Clay’s obsession with security and his frustration with the many gremlins that he perceives are messing up his household.What are those strange noises coming from upstairs that only he seems to hear? Why can’t he come to a decision on how to treat his daughter’s irritating rash? Why does he hate his brother so much? And who, or what, is biting into the avocados that are left out overnight on the kitchen counter? Norris’s characters talk frankly in the most dark and cynical ways. The primarily liberal family vents their political dissatisfaction with the Bush-era conservatism of the day by using many four-lettered words. A variety of sexual peccadilloes and marital issues are aired

Friday, August 5 Headlights, Skeletons, This is Goodbye, Fa-She Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $5

Jayne Houdyshell, Kate Arrington, Lillian Almaguer, Zak Orth, ensemble member Mariann Mayberry and James Vincent Meredith in even more casual ways, with Clay eplaining to his African guest, “We’re basically just about family.” When Kalina offers Kayla a quick “grown-up” girl’s beauty make-up session, Kelly immediately protests, “You’ll not indoctrinate my daughter into the world of male objectification!” Shapiro’s actors Zak Orth and Mariann Mayberry are quite effective as the dysfunctional Clay and Kelly although Orth’s hysterics are bit overdone. Jayne Houdyshell’s Carol, the simple, plain-speaking first grade teacher who likes PBS programming and Tracy Letts’ cynical Cash add a fair amount of more tempered humor. Norris’s script makes each character a soapbox speaker rather than a well-rounded character that an audience can come to care about. Perhaps this is Norris embracing a common tenet of many dark comedies; the audiences aren’t supposed to find these people likable. The Pain and the Itch is, though, the type of challenging, non-mainstream play that the Steppenwolf company of yesteryear would have done more often. It’s often a humorous and disturbing play for discriminating tastes. The Pain and the Itch is performed at the Steppenwolf’s main stage at 1650 N. Halsted St. in Chicago until August 28.

This Friday, the Headlights take to the stage at Cowboy Monkey. The last week in July marked the release of the remastered version of their highly anticipated second EP which was put together for their summer tour. The EP is only available through the band and their website, so this show provides an opportunity to pick one up. If you haven’t yet heard Headlights, let’s just say beautiful intertwining male and female vocals, respectably complex yet immediately accessible complementary guitar and keyboard melodies, and other extras that are icing on the cake.Skeletons open up the show. A fellow by the name of Matt Mehlan is the man behind this band who is receiving some praise from those over at Pitchfork, for what that’s worth. Mehlan will be accompanied by the band he assembled for the purpose of live shows who are referred to as “The GirlFaced Boys”. The work of Skeletons is a mixture of electronics and noise with some aspects of traditional songwriting. Interesting without being too weird, Splendid sums it up well by saying “Mehlan uses technology to make his music more human.”

PHOTO CREDIT: HTTP://WWW.HEADLIGHTSMUSIC.COM/

Dark comedy is certainly an acquired taste for most theatergoers.

Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Eclectic Theory The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Weasel Dreams [jazz] Mike 'n Molly's, 5-7pm, $3 The Prairie Dogs Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Al Ieradi Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Desafinado [bossanova] Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free

This year's line-up includes two very different works of Shaw’s, Major Barbara and You Never Can Tell. You Never Can Tell is a family comedy with some coincidences, lots of clever lines and a few cheap laughs. Morris Panych keeps the action and laughs moving smoothly and the aquatic set designs of Ken MacDonald add visual beauty to the grandeur of Shaw's language. Among the other offerings at the Shaw Festival is the Brecht/Weill musical Happy End and Somerset Maugham's rarely performed The Constant Wife. Thadeusz Bradecki restages his very successful production from two seasons ago with nearly the same style and power. Mike Feingold's brilliant translation has rarely looked or sounded better. The Constant Wife, directed by Neil Munro is a stylish, talky comedy of manners and morals.Written in 1926, it does seem a bit dated, but Neil Munro has given us a slick time capsule of an era when the way you did something was as important as what you did.With this fine cast, the lesson is not lost in this era. Fo r t i c k e t i n f o r m at i o n , S t rat f o r d : 8 0 0 - 5 6 7 - 1 6 0 0 o r www.stratford-festival.ca, Shaw: 800-511-shaw or www.shawfest.com.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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THURSDAY August 4 Live Music Krannert Uncorked: Chin-Fei Chan [flute], Jing-I Jang [harp] Krannert Center, 5pm, free Leigh Meador Organ Trio Iron Post, 7pm, TBA Melissa Ferrick, Katie Todd The Highdive, doors at 8pm, show at 9pm, $10 in advance, $12 at the door Jammin' Jimmy Bean Tommy G's, 9pm, free Tom Paynter Quartet [jazz] Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3 Isle of View, Centerview, Killing Abraham Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Terminus Victor, Quatre Tete, Schaffer The Darklord [rock] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Shovelrack White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free

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Roof. The rarely performed Orpheus is a rewrite of his early Battle of Angels and is best known through its film version from 1959, The Fugitive Kind. Miles Potter's production really captures the gritty Southern flavor of this tragedy. Only a few over the top moments mar the well done rendition of this rare gem. But, problems abound in Richard Monette's mannered production of Cat. In particular, Cynthia Dale as Maggie the Cat. Her excessively mannered performance is so distracting that it overwhelms good supporting performances. No production of this play can survive a disaster of this magnitude from a character of such importance. The same can be said for Dolly Levi in Hello Dolly, one of two musicals Stratford is showcasing this season. Fortunately, Lucy Peacock's ‘Dolly’ is full of sparkle and Susan H. Schulman's production is full of that infectious energy that makes Hello Dolly one of the enduring classics of the musical theater. Three hours to the east in Niagara-on-the-Lake is the Shaw Festival. It boasts the distinction of being the only theater festival primarily dedicated to performing the works of George Bernard Shaw.

FRIDAY August 5

The Buick All-Stars Hubers, 8-11pm, donations Captain Rat and the Blind Rivets Fat City Saloon, 8:30pm, free Urbana Booking Co. presents: Headlights, Skeletons, This is Goodbye, The Fa She Monde Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $5 Seven Year Existence, All Will Fall, Grotesque, Arailius Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Trouble Is [hard rock/metal covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5 DJ Elise [deep house, broken beat] Boltini, 6-10pm, free DJ Bonsu, DJ Impact [hip hop, Chicago deep house] Nargile, 9pm, free before 11pm, $5 after DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ J-Phlip [house] Boltini, 10pm, free CFK [house] Chester St., 10pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO LIST A POSTING E-MAIL CALENDAR@READBUZZ.COM BY SUNDAY NIGHT.

JEFFREY NELSON • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign, 7:30pm, $7-$9 Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd. Urbana, 5:30pm, free Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free Kids Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free

--Cassie Conner

Stratford And Shaw Festival Reviews ust a day-long road trip will make you believe that more than typical summer fare survives in the performing arts.At Canada's two premier summer theater festivals, The Stratford Festival and The Shaw Festival, there is fine theater offered that rivals the pleasant environment of the Canadian landscape. Keep in mind these travel tips for Ontario-the US dollar is worth about $1.20 Canadian; U.S. credit cards charge a 3% fee for all "foreign transactions"; bring proof of citizenship when you cross the border; and remember most Canadian ATM machines do not charge fees. About ten hours from East Central Illinois is the Stratford Festival in Stratford, Ontario. With Shakespeare as their anchor, they offer The Tempest and an exciting production of As You Like It. Antoni Cimolini's splendid production is fast-paced, fun, and faithful to the Bard's poetry.The live musical score of Canada's cutting-edge pop group, The Barenaked Ladies, adds some appropriate music that is a great deal more than a series of variations on "Hey, Nonnie, Nonnie". From the modern era, Stratford offers two Tennessee Williams' productions, Or pheus Descending and Cat on a Hot Tin

Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, free Kilborn Alley Joe’s Brewery, 8-11pm, free JBC Jillian’s Band Battle III Jillian’s, 9pm, TBA DJ Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, electro] Barfly, 10pm, free Ladies Night: DJ Res Tuly, DJ Black Ice [dance hall, hip hop] Nargile, 9pm, ladies free before 11pm, $5 DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Solace: DJ J-Phlip, DJ Mertz [deep house] Soma, 10pm, free Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm-1am, free Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free Health and Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9

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buzz weekly

sound ground #87

L O L L A PA L O O Z A C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

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TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

ty audience members were silent – he was also joined by Digable’s Butterfly for a powerful verse. Having been to three separate festivals this summer featuring different genres, it’s difficult to deny – rock music and concert-going is largely a sport for white males. Intense mid-day heat greeted those who attended Dinosaur Jr.’s set. Looking like a warlock with long hair billowing over his face, J. Mascis took the older crowd deep into ear-bleeding country with deeper cuts from their earliest albums, but it was hard to ignore the tension between him and returned-bassist Lou Barlow; all was forgotten when the two worked together for their now famous cover of the Cure’s “Just Like Heaven.” There was a brief lull as the crowds decided between the cute productions of Canadian identical twins Tegan and Sara and the latest from Farrell himself, the bizarre but tuneful Satellite Party (expect a single soon). Ben Kweller showed himself to be forgettable, as the Drive-By Truckers appeared with three vocalist/guitarists all taking turns on original Southern rock songs. Despite an appearance from guitarist Eric Krasno of organ trio (plus two) Soulive, who performed earlier that day, G. Love & Special Sauce were unable to draw many from the most buzzed-about band of the weekend, The Arcade Fire. With ten musicians on the stage, including two string players and a “freedom”-hornist, the Arcade Fire were an obscene whirlwind of music. Any free hand in the waistcoated ensemble was soon filled by a drumstick. The band was able to effectively translate the wintery motifs to a Mid-western crowd baked by the sun. Mousey leader Win Butler is as unlikely a frontman as they come, but playing (mostly) bass,

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crooning from mid-stage and driving Stoogesesque raveups, he created an unmistakable feeling of loss that the Fire has come to represent. Near the end, he took the song (and wireless microphone) into the crowd for a dramatic close. It should suffice to say that if they were to never record another song, Butler would sit at the right hand of Mangum and Curtis in the hearts of adoring fans: farther off, adults could just stare. Looking angelic in a starched off-white shirt, Spoon’s Britt Daniels was incredibly slick and dangerous, especially when only backed by piano and sharp drums, while Widespread Panic played their first of two sets for the night. Introduced by the ubiquitous Beatle Bob, The Dandy’s took the stage but had to compete with a band Farrell declared the “hottest group in the country”, the Killers, who obliged a huge crowd with plenty of hits. If Brandon Flowers is Morrissey, guitarist Dave Keuning is Peter Frampton based upon appearances alone. Death Cab for Cutie played one of the more intimate sets of the weekend. Judging from their current single and the new songs they played, Ben Gibbard seems to have an even more personal sound in store. On the far right stage, guitarist/producer Chris Walla was as exciting and dynamic as high-voiced Gibbard on the far left. As Widespread’s second set and Death Cab’s shoegazing hums faded away, fans began to drift off to bed. A few lingered, however, drawn by a rumor that the Smashing Pumpkins might reunite that night, one nation under a Farrell. Though it didn’t pan out, Lollapalooza seems to have survived the first difficult year in a new format. buzz

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ands come and go, but this weekend, Captain Rat and the Blind Rivets celebrate twenty-five years together with three free concerts. The fun begins tomorrow at 8:30 p.m. at Fat City Saloon in Champaign and continues Saturday at Ag Days in Villa Grove and Sunday at 6:30 p.m. at Hessel Park back in Champaign. Captain Rat and the Blind Rivets appeared on the Record Service 20th Birthday compilation in 1989 with its single “The Fightin’ Illini in Pasadena,” issued originally on orange wax in anticipation of the 1984 Rose Bowl. Implosive duo Ter minus Victor has a release date for its sophomore album Under Surveillance: September 27.Terminus Victor performs tonight at Cowboy Monkey with rock trio Quatre Tete and rapper Schäffer the Darklord (Mark Schaffer). Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $5. Triple Whip has a title for its forthcoming five-song EP, due Fall 2005: Snake Creeps Down. Recording begins this month at Pogo Studio with Mark Rubel. Triple Whip plays

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next August 16 at Cowboy Monkey with Ume,The Narrator, and FireFlies. Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $5. Triple Whip then appears August 29 on WEFT Sessions. As much as Urbana expatriate Mark Villalobos likes to quote “Spontaneous Apple Creation”, it is difficult to know when to take him literally. In any event, he announced last weekend his garage band The Idle Hours had “broked up a while ago.” He and his old bassist Nick Spizzirri are back together and adopting a new name, “to better reflect [their] musical stylings/the sunlight.” They allegedly have a show tomorrow. Armed with her solid, brand-new fulllength debut, Sprout Don’t Pout, Kate Hathaway is off to San Francisco for two months of California and Texas tour dates. There is one more opportunity to see her here before: tomorrow at The Station Theatre in Urbana, where she is one of numerous musicians opening for Raise the Roof, a festival of ten-minute plays. Show time is 8 p.m., and tickets are $12.

#87 Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of live local music every Monday night at 10 on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

Singing in German is cool again, according to the International Herald Tribune on July MOMENT OF THE WEEK 25th, 2005. Music sales were down in Germany over the last year, when sales fell to forty percent. This year, however, sales are showing more life, apparently because of the local music revival. “It’s considered cool again to sing in German. Culturally, after all that has happened in Germany, people accept listening to German texts again. Even young people,” said chief executive of Universal Music Germany, Frank Briegmann. Insert David Hasselhoff joke here.

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Back Porch BY FRANK KROLICKI

Frank Black’s latest solo CD, “Honeycomb,” is aptly titled. It’s got a smooth, relaxed flow, and a whole lot of down-home charm. The once-and-again Pixie makes it more obvious than ever that he can be very different from his Black Francis incarnation: the latter’s howling vocals and angular, post-punk guitar work can be almost completely abandoned for straightforward roots rock, and manage to come across surprisingly well. With the Pixies, Black has been experiencing a jolt of re-interest thanks to the band’s highly successful reunion tour. It would have been easy for him to make a record specifically tailored to capitalize on this success, which has curiously placed Pixies T-shirts on Hot Topic shelves and pre-teen bodies across the country. Instead, he strays in a direction that will no doubt leave the majority of that newfound audience cold. While 2003’s “Show Me Your Tears”

played out in a singer/songwriter fashion, “Honeycomb” is much more ambitious and inspired than any “logical next step” would have sounded. Black recorded the album live in Nashville, and is backed by American soul heavyweights such as Steve Cropper, Spooner Oldham and David Hood, which probably has a lot to do with its live flavor. The bouncy Americana of “Song of the Shrimp,” a tune pulled from the Elvis Presley film, “Girls! Girls! Girls,” is hard not to notice. “I Burn Today,” with its upbeat melody and random chimes, is the catchiest tune. “Strange Goodbye” finds Black crooning a duet with ex-wife Jean Black. “Another Velvet Nightmare” combines quirky, depressing lyrics (Today I felt my heart slide into my belly / So I puked it up with liquor / And I slept right where I laid”) with a drum and guitar groove that somehow manages not to make it sound like a complete downer. Closed-minded fans or those who hate the thought of stripped down Americana will probably find it difficult to warm up to “Honeycomb.” But to those unafraid of new things and who have some time to devote to it, Black’s effort proves to be a good-natured, consistent, satisfying piece of work.

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ar tist’s corner

Jason Dunavan How did you get started as a tattoo artist?

Roughly 8 years ago a friend of mine got a job at a tattoo shop and he got me a job as the receptionist and I would also set the piercing station up for the piercer (He was also a tattoo artist) and after a while he suggested that I start doing the piercings. He trained me for a year to do piercings and we worked together at random tattoo shops for a few years. Then, around five years ago, I wanted to learn how to tattoo; to me it was the perfect job, I get to meet new people everyday and basically get paid to hang out with friends. Different people taught me for a couple of years how to tattoo. Then four years ago me and a friend opened Altered Egos. Then two years ago my friend was bought out by my current partner and fellow tattoo artist Greg (Stump) Cogdill. I still do all the piercings and share the tattoo responsibilities with Greg and our employees. As of right now I’ve been tattooing full time for going on three years. What is your personal process for planning a new tattoo?

Personally, for the tattoos I get, I fly off the seat of my pants- generally I like them to be humorous, and to

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Frank Black Honeycomb

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YOU WANT MILLION DOLLARS!! ROBOT CHICKEN

somehow reflect my personality. If I am planning a tattoo for another person I generally take their input on ideas and designs and try to add my own flavor. I recommend that people do their research on placement and size of tattoo- I want it to be their decision because it's theirs forever. At the same time, it is flattering for someone to want me to design a tattoo for them. Many friendships have been gained through this process and I look forward to many more in the future. What is your favorite quote?

Actually I have two, the first being "This Too Shall Pass." I have it tattooed across my chest from collar bone to bone. My girlfriend said it was what fit my personality the best. It’s actually funny because as I was getting the tattoo applied it hurt so bad all I could think about was it being done and how ironic that was. The other one is, "The grass is never greener on the other side." I have started and not finished a lot of things because of the thought of something being better somewhere else. But in reality it’s almost always worse than where you were. Hey Gills, sound familiar? What has influenced you?

My girlfriend and best friend Jenica; she keeps me in check and she is a great mom to our son. Tattoo artists I have been influenced by are Eric Merrill, Jime Litwalk, Jason Blanton, Nick Wiggins, Cody Pruitt, Stump, Curt Haggerty, Jeff Zuck, Grime, Tony Ciavarro, and Dana Clinton. Also my mom, Trenton Dunavan and Peyton Dunavan. I also just look to everyday life and music and just try to incorporate everything into right now and if that does not work, I look to the Food Network, the kids of South Park, the Cable 88's and carnie folk-their life on the road must be hard. What has been your most interesting tattoo?

PHOTOS • DAVID SOLANA

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Dunavan's favorite tattoo.

It's a toss up between my portrait of Ron Jeremy and my rib piece which consists of a tornado ripping through a trailer park with a guy saying, "Can't have sh*t". They are both pretty popular subjects but those are tattoos that are on me that I have collected. Of the tattoos that I've done for other people the most interesting and talked about tattoos are the ones I've done on some of the athletes here at the U of I and a girl from Texas whose back piece I started and finished in two weeks. That experience was crazy; this girl was getting a whole back piece from me (basically getting worked on for 5-6 hours a day once every three days while also getting a sleeve from Cody on the days I wasn’t working on her). She is still to this day the most hardcore girl I’ve ever met: tough as nails. Jason Donovan currently works at Altered Egos on Green St. in campustown. Dunavan's favorite tattoo. s o u n d s

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I don’t think there’s anything innately erotic about pigs,

“You always have a very smooth explanation.”

but generally, they are sweet, shy, mysterious creatures.

“ What do you want me to do, learn to stutter? ”

When they get big, they get kinda gross. Kim Deal • Pixies

The Maltese Falcon

First of all, the entire premise of Must Love

It’s a romantic comedy we’ve seen a dozen times before.

Dogs is totally implausible. Do you mean to tell me Diane Lane can’t find a decent guy? Yeah, right; like anyone will believe that. Lane is far and away the best-looking actress (without cosmetic surgery) who’s almost 40. Her resume is impressive — from child star to mature beauty — and she’s capable of delivering the goods in finely drawn lead roles, but has somehow missed the mark in Must Love Dogs. Lane is Sarah Nolan, a recently divorced preschool teacher, nervous about diving headfirst into the vexing world of dating. Then her wisecracking sister, Carol (Elizabeth Perkins) offers a solution: internet dating. After all, it seems to have worked for their father, Bill (Christopher Plummer)—an aging Don Juan with more suitorettes than he can handle. But after a few disastrously bad dates, Sarah is understandably skeptical. Then there’s Jake (John Cusack), a recent divorcee and boat builder with a penchant for Dr. Zhivago. Upon the insistence of his buddy, Charlie (Ben Shenkman), Jake too, is thrust back into the dating circuit. Naturally, Sarah and Jake find one another through an internet ad with one stipulation: “must love dogs.” Though neither one actually owns a dog, they decide to meet anyway. There seems to be a mutual attraction between the lovelorn souls, but their collective awkwardness gets the better of them. As the Sarah/Jake relationship begins to blossom, yet another guy enters the scene. Bob

BOX OFFICE

1. Wedding Crashers ($20M) 2. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ($16.4M) 3. Sky High ($14.6M) 4. Stealth ($13.3M) 5. Must Love Dogs ($12.9M) 6. Fantastic Four ($6.9M) 7. The Island ($6M) 8. Bad News Bears ($5.6M) 9. War of the Worlds ($5.5M) 10. March of the Penguins ($4M)

DVD RENTALS 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

Constantine Million Dollar Baby The Pacifier Ice Princess Man of the House Hide and Seek Hitch Miss Congeniality 2 Hostage

10. Diary of a Mad Black Woman

The production is still in need of various crew members. Positions are still open for a 3rd Assistant Camera (to become 2nd AC halfway through), two Grips, two Electrical crew members, a Hospitality

Coordinator, a Transport Coordinator and a Craft Services Coordinator. The above are all full-time positions, but also available are jobs as Production Assistants (for which one or two days a week will suffice) that offer a unique insight into the filmmaking process. If you have any interest in being involved or would like to know more about the film, contact: films@firstsunrise.net

Have any news or announcements about the local film community? We’d like to hear them--send us an email at buzz@readbuzz.com

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NEW LINE CINEMA

From August 16th through mid-September, First Sunrise Productions will be shooting the independent character-driven drama Aura, IL in Champaign. Written, directed and produced by Yu Hasegawa-Johnson, the award-winning script follows three principal protagonists: an eight-year old boy refusing to believe his mother's passing, a seventeen year old girl fantasizing about her per fect death, and a twenty-seven year old man whose brush with cancer derails his dreams.

After shooting wrapped on Dreamscape Cinema's Angst last month, it is apparent that Champaign has much to offer as an alternative locale for independent cinema in the Midwest. For this production, First Sunrise is bringing in talent from all over the country as well as utilizing members of the local community who wish to gain valuable industry experience.

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KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY FRED KOSCHMANN

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Local Film Spotlight News & Notes MOVIE NEWS BY SHADIE ELNASHAI

LOLLAPALOOZA2005: THE FUTURE AND FARRELL

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veryone knows the history behind Lollapalooza. Last year’s failure to sell tickets was the first year people asked about the future of the tour. A last-minute push to keep Lolla alive turned the tour into a festival, and with a little political elbow grease, Chicago’s Grant Park became a six-stage, two block gathering, with at least three performers at a time. Lollapalooza 2005 suffered considerable bleed between the two stages located in the large bowl, something Chicago poet Thax (who introduced the Brian Jonestown Massacre’s performance) called “kind of lame.” As it stands, though, bleeding sound was only a small price to pay for the privilege to observe the state of Perry Farrell’s dream nearly 15 years after its inception. Near the beginning of Saturday’s music, France’s M83 was unable to translate their symphonics to a festival, repeating a lesson Buzz also learned at the previous week’s Intonation Festival: bands that rely upon samples are often left with little to do on stage. The Kaiser Chiefs brought their hooky British charm, and a diminutive Liz Phair dealt with her stage fright just down the street on the Magnificent Mile,The Gap was using her image to sell chinos. Buzz caught Dandy Warhols’ guitarist Peter Holstrom checking out the Brian Jonestown Massacre set (opposite Dashboard Confessional): he declared BJM’s feedback attack to be “freakin’ brilliant.” Despite what DiG! may suggest, these guys appreciate each other’s work. Depending upon who you ask, Cake’s John McCrea is either a tactless idiot or a brilliant satirist. McCrea and band turned out skronky takes on their classic cuts. Billy Idol, in incredible shape despite his considerable years (and probably the oldest performer of the weekend), declared the day fit for a white wedding: at that very moment, the overcast weather gave way to a welcome bout of light rain. Akron, OH duo The Black Keys suprised the crowd by being young and white, and their modern, unpretentious blues frightened anyone who hadn’t heard them yet. Guitarist/vocalist Dan Auerbach moved like a snake nailed to the microphone, and drummer Patrick Carney completed the band without bass. On the other end of the spectrum, fans were treated to Primus’ only show for 2005, appearing amidst their newest prop - giant rubber duckies. A victim of poor planning, New York’s Walkmen lost fans of their angular East Coast sound to the gravitational pull of Pixies, who performed simultaneously. It may have been only one of numerous appearances of the influencial band in Chicago since their recent reunion, but that didn’t seem to slow attendance. Eschewing the spacey fare from Bossanova, Pixies favored the shimmery grunge of Doolittle and the tension of their swan song, Trompe Le Monde. Dressed like a school-teacher and holding her cigarette in the middle of her mouth, bassist Kim Deal performed her classic “Gigantic” with both grit and sugar. Midway through, Black Francis switched

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PAUL PRIKAZSKY • LEAD REVIEWER

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WARNER BROTHERS

MUST LOVE DOGS

(Dermot Mulroney), the hunky father of one of Sarah’s students, also falls for her. What is our heroine going to do? A mediocre love story follows. Diane Lane and John Cusack portray two very likable leads, but the plot needs more substance than two big stars. Sure, the movie is about the mores of dating and life after divorce, but the two leads are old. They look tired and bored in their mundane roles. There is no vitality or chemistry between them. And meeting the perfect someone over the internet has already been tapped in the Tom Hanks/Meg MUST LOVE DOGS• JOHN CUSACK & DIANE LANE Ryan cheeseball, You’ve Got Mail. It’s a romantic comedy that we’ve seen a dozen nervous, rapid-fire dialogue, right down to the times before—straight out of a cookbook overlong trench coat, he’s Lloyd Dobler again formula, already falling into relative obscurity. from the 80’s classic, Say Anything. Of course After Must Love Dogs, writer/director Gary Lloyd is more of an optimist than the cynical David Goldberg can kiss his film career goodbye. Jake; but the latter didn’t need a boom box and With the exception of a few decent one-liners, his a Peter Gabriel song to win a woman’s writing is flat and lifeless. Characters appear in a affections. Cusack may be stuck in a time warp, flourish and then vanish without a trace. But but he’s still pretty cool. worse yet, Goldberg lacks the visual eye vital Must Love Dogs has innumerable downfalls. to all good directors. It seems that most of his With a clichéd plot and characters, phony shots were composed straight out of a do-it- romance, sophomoric comedy, and poor writing, yourself manual for first-time filmmakers. In the it’s a wonder this adaptation of Claire Cook’s meantime, he shouldn’t rule out a career in well-received novel of the same name ever made writing or directing. He still has a shot doing it it to the big screen. There is a subtle science to at the grade-school level. crafting a perfect romantic comedy.The romance What has John Cusack been up to? Aside and comedy must be in perfect balance because from the obvious amount of time he’s spent if one outweighs the other, the result is typically eating over the past decade, not a whole lot. weak and unfulfilling. There was a time when Cusack was cool. Must Love Dogs is not worthy of its summer Though he portrayed haphazard losers that movie status. It’s bland, uneventful and totally verged on pathetic, he did it with style and tact. unspectacular. After leaving the theater, In Must Love Dogs, he seems to be reviving that chances are the audience has already forgotten particular persona from the past. From his what they just watched.

to acoustic guitar, once resting on the drum riser, and provided fans with the night’s second take on “Wave Of Mutilation.” Pixies have always been gifted with good luck, taste, and timing, and the worst complaint you could lower against them would be to resent Francis’ now-bulging waistline. Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo drolly introduced rhyhthm guitarist Brian Bell’s “Why Bother?” from sophomore-sleeper “Pinkerton,” an album Cuomo told the crowd “didn’t sell too well”. During “El Scorcho”, Cuomo name-dropped Pixies where Green Day once was. As he sat behind the keyboards for “Buddy Holly”, he resembled no rocker so much as Elvis Costello, even down to the gray suit and receding hairline. The band’s performance was effortless throughout an hour-fifteen of soaring vocals and copious blue stage lighting. Lollapalooza concertgoers certainly aren’t unified as the attendants to other festivals: there were dancers, hippies, indie kids, punks, heads, and even aging repeat offenders sporting T-shirts from years gone by. Weezer managed to unite nearly 90% of the crowd, who pumped tens of thousands of hands in the air as if to say,“There is one thing which unifies this nation, and it is anonymous whiteboy sorrow.” So much so, it seemed to suck energy away from Digable Planets, who couldn’t compete with the star-power of their Lollapalooza hip-hop predecessors. Those who stepped across the street to the smaller “Planet Stage” during the day were treated to mashups by DJ Muggs (Cypress Hill) and the ever-controversial Z-Trip. Later that night, you could hear San Francisco’s finest CDJ, Mark Farina; his Chi-city buddy Derrick Carter spun house tracks on Sunday. Farina’s unholy mixing came in handy as he steered away from his signature Mushroom Jazz sound, instead speeding up hip-hop tracks (thanks to his digital equipment)

for a small crowd of medicated hippies close out the night. Sunday was cursed by being one of the hottest days of the summer thus far: with water and experience gained from previous festivals, fans and press were able to endure eleven hours of music under extreme heat. The day effortlessly exceeded Saturday in energy, though attendance was down slightly. Responding to the heat, Metro busses had been placed in the park - they idled with AC on full blast for concertgoers. As fans entered, they were greeted by a few masked men on stilts, the only sign of the circus motif that once identified the tour. OK Go announced to the audience that they thought their new single was so good that fans deserved to hear it as it appears on the album. They weren’t just marketing, though: the be-jacketed quartet made good as they danced and lip-synced as the track was blared over the PA. Despite some convincing performances by those invited, this year was cursed by a small selection of hip-hop (something which founder Perry Farrell himself decried). Those who turned out early to catch Saul Williams’ set left satisfied as he played to the most diverse crowd to show up that weekend. Unleashing confessional rhymes and delivering spoken word between songs, Saul Stacey Williams is the real deal. Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, the also-actor incited cheer when he rapped “I know where diamonds come from / ain’t about to bling.” While he performed a song called “Black Stacey” about feeling uncomfortable in one’s own skin, he paused to ask the crowd if they could relate to that (they could), but when he asked “No, really?” many of the majoriC O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

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books for him to autograph, and I wandered around largely uninterested, until I came across what could have been mistaken for a shrine to products bearing the likeness of Rosie the Riveter. Homages to the famed gal who represented women in the workforce and the great American female contribution to World War II can now be purchased in the form of potholders, kitchen towels, and other wonderful cloth products for use in daily domestic life. Finally, in the 21st century, we have made a concerted effort to return Rosie to the kitchen. I took a photo, and left scratching my head â&#x20AC;&#x201C; wondering how they had managed to pull that off without more people realizing just how ironic it all was.

T

A World War II air raid demonstration ends with the 100-foot Wall of Flame during a B-17 Flying Fortress flyover.The famed bombers fly over the crowd with their bomb bays open as pyrotechnics light up the landing strip. The EAA emphasizes Oshkosh Airventureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reputation as one of the cleanest large gatherings of people in the world. I saw one piece of trash on the ground the whole time I was there. People simply pick up after themselves. The showers are clean, the portable toilets are clean, and plenty of people clean their planes right after parking. Yet I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help but be slightly disturbed at the not-so-tasty tangy zing of the water from the

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fountain next to the showers. With no desire to poison myself, I tried to drink as little as possible and I refilled my bottle as soon as we arrived at the museum. The museum holds an amazing collection of artifacts from the history of flying, including the smallest airplane â&#x20AC;&#x201C; about the size of a coffee tableâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and a gift shop. My father went to the gift shop to purchase one of Yeagerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

o leave, we had to take off on a runway next to another plane. We dodged a slower plane, watched others of equivalent speed head off in various directions, and eventually shared the sky with only the clouds. When we got far enough south, we had to skirt the restricted airspace around Chicago. Flying into restricted airspace is not recommended, even if you are interested in seeing U.S. air power in action. We were cheerfully reminded of safety speaker Shaubâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s joke: while it certainly isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a good idea to play around in such a situation, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s probably possible to out-slow any military jet. My father and I chuckled about the comment and I toyed with suggesting the ideaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;then I remembered the speakerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s next comment: even though youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll definitely see the guy sitting off your wing, the tail of your craft is probably blocking your view of the guy just behind you, who has your plane lined up in his crosshairs. Luckily, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not a pilot. My dad avoided the airspace, and we arrived safely in Champaign-Urbana, landing softly on an empty runway. buzz

DAVID JUST â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

Stealth has good intentions and is rather

ambitious when compared to some of director Rob Cohenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s previous work, like The Fast and the Furious. It wows us from the get-go with the flying capabilities of three Navy pilots who have been selected out of a pool of 400 to fly the newest state-of-the-art fighter jets. Ben, Kara, and Henry (Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx) are a reliable and professional triumvirate, uneasy about the addition of a fourth team member. The new wingman is an artificially intelligent plane named EDI (pronounced â&#x20AC;&#x153;Eddieâ&#x20AC;?), which stands for â&#x20AC;&#x153;Extreme Deep Invader.â&#x20AC;? Ben, the team leader, hates the idea of a machine flying with him. EDI, Ben explains, lacks the ability to make moral judgments and to reason.These are interesting points, and could have helped this movie distinguish itself from the drivel churned out this summer in theatres. But the film fails to explore them fully, or even at all. The new jets are to be used to combat terrorism all across the globe. Stealth predicts an amazingly bleak future for the world. In it, there are thousands of terrorists with guns and nuclear warheads, and apparently theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve made public their meeting times and places to discuss the destruction

THE DEVILâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S REJECTS DAN MALONEY â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

Violence, mayhem, bloodshed and the

We went to the booths of ever y flying organization that my father is a member of. The flight instructor's organization--NAMI, whose activities and benefits my father isn't even sure of â&#x20AC;&#x201C; was holding a pre-flight inspection contest. Entrants had 15 minutes to look over the plane and find each of the 10 problems the plane had that would render

greatest â&#x20AC;&#x153;villainsâ&#x20AC;? of modern memory comprise Rob Zombieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sequel The Devilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rejects. The word â&#x20AC;&#x153;sequelâ&#x20AC;? doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do it justice. Whereas House of a 1000 Corpses was the opening act, The Devilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rejects is easily the main act, and a bloody, vile and violent act it is.Written, directed, and produced by Mr. Rob Zombie, The Devilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rejects is pure mastery in satirical bloodshed that seems to view itself not as humor, but as truly horrifying. Like Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove, the effect works, and when the theater is empty and the aisles ae bare, the true terror creeps in by not explaining why they do what they do. Led by Sheriff Wydell (William Forsythe), the brother of the slain officer in House of a 1000 Corpses, the Texas State Police make a full scale raid on the dilapidated house to finally solve the 1000 or so disappearances over the past few years. Mama Firefly (Leslie Easterbrook), the one

it unsafe for flight. My dad is a joker, and confidently told ever yone around they really didn't have to show up later to see if they'd won â&#x20AC;&#x201C; he's already taken care of first place. Well, in spite of the 11 problems he found, 8 of which were correct, he still ended up in a four-way tie for first and got a box of flight instruction swag.

buzz weekly â&#x20AC;˘

SHE TRIED TO SIT ON MY LAP WHILE I WAS STANDING UP.

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OSHKOSH AIRVENTURE C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

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of the world. So in come the pilots. In one scene, three terrorist heads are meeting in a high-rise building in the middle of a nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s capitol. The pilots destroy the building and it collapses into a giant heap in the middle of the city. I realize we have adopted a first-strike strategy, but knocking down skyscrapers seems more like revenge, not warfare. While returning from this mission, EDI is struck by a bolt of lightning which allows him to somehow think and feel. But EDI isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t scary enough. His monotone voice doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t come close to HAL 9000â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in Stanley Kubrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2001: A Space Odyssey, against which STEALTH â&#x20AC;˘ JESSICA BIEL the film draws many comparisons. EDI rise, Lucas and Biel go to Thailand and watches the pilots talking about him, just stand near a waterfall in their bathing suits as HAL is able to read lips.They both have and take photos of each other. It is no a small red circle for a face (so to speak) doubt that a film about Navy pilots is and are both always shown in extreme going to include at least a small love story. close-up. EDI is definitely paying tribute Thanks, Top Gun, we owe you one. to Kubrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s robot since both films deal Stealthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heart is in the right place, but with the theme of the breakdown of arti- that isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t enough to warrant seeing this ficial intelligence. film. By the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s end, Lucas has sparked If this had been what Stealth was wars with at least half a dozen nations and about, the film might have succeeded. defeated several others single-handedly. Rather, it takes ludicrous turns at every Subplots like these, and the love story, and corner. After celebrating their first suc- EDIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s descent to evil are too much. and, cessful mission, the three pilots go to a quite frankly, too stupid. Not even the rave to party. After destroying the high- nice visual effects could save this one.

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captured, is fiercely interrogated by the hardened Sheriff while three of the killers, Baby (Sherri Moon), Otis (Bill Mosley), and the famous Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig) escape and go on a killing spree the likes of which have not been seen on film since The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The film is brilliant, simply put. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s funny and violent and doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make any excuses for what makes the killers tick.They kill for the sake of killing.They kidnap and torture simply for the THE DEVILâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S REJECTS â&#x20AC;˘ BILL MOSELEY & SHERI MOON ZOMBIE enjoyment of doing so. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re the mod- prepare the audience for the coming ern Wild Bunch. Zombie does have an storm.They seem to provide no real point in-depth knowledge of film. If you get the except to serve as filler between the ultrareferences to all the Fireflyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s surnames, violent confrontations of the Fireflys and then you know what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m talking about. their victims. A warning must be offered to the Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also so much fun about the film is the random cameos and bit parts of infa- potential viewers of this film: itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not for The film is mous horror movie stars of the past: P.J. the squeamish. There are some horrible brilliant, Soles (Halloween), Ken Forsee (the original sections that are truly disturbing. Some simply put. Dawn of the Dead), and Michael Berryman will see them and consider them art; others will see the same scenes and become (The Hills Have Eyes), to name a few. The only problem readily visible is the physically ill. Beware of seeing this movie. pacing of the film. The opening and clos- But if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got the stomach, then sit ing of the film are such an intense bits of back, enjoy, and try not to vomit on the filmmaking that the middle scenes simply person next to you. LIONS GATE FILMS

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WEDDING CRASHERS (R) Fri. 1:20 2:00 4:15 4:50 7:10 8:00 9:50 10:30 Sat. 11:30 1:20 2:00 4:15 4:50 7:10 8:00 9:50 10:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:20 2:00 4:15 4:50 7:10 8:00 9:50 WAR OF WORLDS (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sat. 11:15 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 THE ISLAND (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 10:00 FANTASTIC FOUR (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 â&#x2014;&#x2020; STEALTH (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. Thu. 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:00 7:30 9:55 10:10 SKY HIGH (PG) Fri. 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 11:55 Sat. 11:30 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 11:55 Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 MUST LOVE DOGS (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:10 1:45 3:30 4:45 5:50 7:10 8:10 9:30 10:25 11:40 Sat. 11:15 1:10 1:45 3:30 4:45 5:50 7:10 8:10 9:30 10:25 11:40 Sun. - Thu. 1:10 1:45 3:30 4:45 5:50 7:10 8:10 9:30

HUSTLE & FLOW (R) Fri. Thu. 2:00 7:20 DEVIL'S REJECTS (R) Fri. Thu. 5:00 10:00 CHARLIE & CHOCOLATE (PG) Fri. 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:00 7:20 9:35 9:55 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:20 9:35 9:55 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:00 7:20 9:35 9:55 BATMAN BEGINS (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. - Thu. 7:00 9:50 BAD NEWS BEARS (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:00 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:00 MARCH-PENGIUNS (G) Fri. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 11:30 Sat. 11:30 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 DUKES OF HAZZARD (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:00 1:30 1:45 3:25 4:15 4:30 5:50 7:00 7:15 8:15 9:30 9:45 10:40 12:00 Sat. 11:15 1:00 1:30 1:45 3:25 4:15 4:30 5:50 7:00 7:15 8:15 9:30 9:45 10:40 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 1:30 1:45 3:25 4:15 4:30 5:50 7:00 7:15 8:15 9:30 9:45 10:40

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w i l l

a s t r o l o g y

only a tiny bit of rarefied substance. And yet that bit will be interesting and useful.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

Can you keep your balance and your dignity while trying to sit on two fences at once? Can you be a friend to all, a servant of none, and a freestyle wheeler-dealer all at the same time? As you're flattered and criticized for the oddest reasons, and as people try to manipulate you and impress you, can you keep your ego from inflating and deflating like a hyperventilating lung? The answer to these questions is a definite maybe, Cancerian. For best results, be as dispassionate as a Buddhist monk and as brave as a drunk without actually getting drunk.

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

The Drama Queen or Drama King within you is secretly plotting to raise the emotional stakes to record levels. For that inner extremist, mere adventure might not be enough; thunderous histrionics and romantic excess may be considered essential. While I have no problem with you enjoying a fevered fling, I don't think it's necessary to cross the line into delirious hysteria and volcanic excess. So here's what I'm going to suggest: Take your inner Drama Queen or Drama King for about ten rides on an actual roller coaster. That way he or she may not need to make your whole life into a roller coaster.

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

There was a personalized California license plate on the yellow Hummer I saw today. It said "U Move." I took this to be the driver's announcement that he was king of the road and had no obligation to watch where he was going. He seemed to be saying that if you had a problem with him, you should get the hell out of his way. In the moment, I took this to be an idiotic communication from a belligerent jerk, but when I studied your astrological aspects for the coming week I realized it was actually a good motto for you to adopt. For a limited time only, you have the right to proclaim the following to anyone who thinks you should be anywhere else besides where you are: "No, you move."

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

Let's say you were somehow able to travel to a comet as it approached the sun. Let's say you also brought a container in which you were able to capture all of the vapor from the comet's 5,000-mile gaseous tail. The container wouldn't have to be any bigger than a wine bottle, because there's not much actual stuff in the tail. This hypothetical project is a good metaphor for the work you have ahead of you in the coming week, Gemini. Vast volumes of hot air will contain

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

Please speak the following series of declarations at least once a day in the coming week: "I want to drink in the brilliance of someone's beautiful eyes today. I want to dream of the kind of intimacy I will someday be worthy of. I want to learn to enjoy everything that I do and everything that happens to me, even if it's not what I expected or thought I needed. I want the end of every story to be quickly followed by the beginning of the next story. I want to go home to a home I have never known."

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

The average person throws out 19 pounds of garbage per week. Between now and August 24, however, you have license to exceed that figure by a large margin. In fact, Virgo, the cosmos would love you to carry out a Great Purge. So take full advantage of this opportunity to lighten your load. Get rid of every last scrap of dross and clutter, give away anything that has outlived its usefulness, and unburden yourself of outmoded necessities that have been sitting untouched in a closet or storage unit for more than a year. As much as you possibly can, free yourself of the unnecessary residues of your past.

LIBRA

what ’s your sign?

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

John Madden was a successful pro football coach who understood the value of taking things both seriously and not very seriously at all. He was a hard-working master of strategy and motivation who drilled his team relentlessly so they'd develop the discipline necessary to excel. But he also understood how critical it was to inject playfulness into the mix, even during high-pressure moments. There was one stretch in the 1970s when he prepared his players for each game with a fierce pep talk, but then refused to let them leave the locker room until running back Mark van Eeghen could summon a belch. I recommend this dual approach to you, Scorpio. As you wade in to your upcoming dates with destiny, draw liberally on the leavening power of teasing and whimsy.

SAGITTARIUS

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

You've probably heard tales about people who buy an old desk at a thrift store or a used jacket at a yard sale, then find a big stash of money in it when they get it home. You may also know the story of author Byron Katie, who was wallowing in depres-

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AQUARIUS

PISCES

Homework: There's a bunch of homework for you in my new book, Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. More info is at www.freewillastrology.com.

crossword

A panel of 23 astrologers headed by yours truly has named you Window Shopper of the Month for August. I know that may sound premature, given the fact that you have not yet done much browsing this month. But the astrological omens are clear. We're confident you'll justify our faith and do what's necessary to earn your title. To get you pointed in the right direction, here are some things you might want to fantasize about acquiring: a silk lantern, a stained glass window, a bird's nest, black pearls, 2,000-year-old honey, photos of smoke rising from ritually consecrated fires, a compass that once belonged to a great explorer, and anything else that simultaneously evokes your love of beauty and your sense of wonder.

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(Feb. 19-March 20)

Wasting your time and getting caught up in trivial details might feel like the most natural thing to do in the coming week, but I'd love to steer you away from doing that. Please please pretty please take heed of this proverb from ancient Rome: "The eagle does not catch flies." In other words, avoid lowering yourself to pursue rewards that don't really interest you or nourish you. And please please pretty please also listen to the advice of this Nepalese proverb: "Conduct short rituals for minor gods." Translation: Acknowledge the second-tier powersthat-be, but don't prostrate yourself in front of them for hours.

46 A high school dropout might get it 47 Blanket stealer 48 Key of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 7 49 Easy-to-use product tagline 52 Gretzky, at one point 55 “Frankie Says ___” (‘80s T-shirt) 56 Number on the right side of a clock face 57 Celebrity clique 58 Do without a big wedding 59 Nancy Grace’s employer 60 Clumsy type 61 Sees 62 That, in Spanish Down 1 Helpful Beach Boys girl? 2 Bounced off the walls 3 Take things not-tooseriously

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4 Cat Stevens song about a city in Asia 5 The A in James A. Garfield 6 Nabokov novel of 1957 7 Ball-___ hammer 8 Starchy plants 9 Actress Manheim who wrote the 1995 play “Wake Up, I’m Fat” 10 Half-committed response, when said slowly 11 Jimmy (open) 12 Abbr. for a not-sonice guy 13 Dir. opposite WSW 21 Amount of electrical resistance 22 I ___ (Chinese text) 25 V8 component 26 Greeting on the seas 27 Animal near the end of ABC books 29 In need of plastic surgery 30 He governs “Cahleefohnya” 34 Basic cheer 35 Less than a little 36 “That’s just the ___ the iceberg” 37 Doofusy guys 38 GQ or YM, for short 42 NPR Puzzlemaster Will 44 Prepares a violin bow 45 Duke in Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” 48 Phil Collins song “Moves Like ___, Looks Like a Man” 49 Egg holder 50 Ward of “Once and Again” 51 Vegas hole 52 “Charter” tree 53 Beastie Boys album “___ Communication” 54 Lucy of “Kill Bill: Vol. 1”

Answers pg. 9

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flight,

you will forever walk

the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Early American politician and inventor Benjamin Franklin said, "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." And yet for one period of his life, he frequently stayed up all night reading books. Make him your role model in the coming week, Aquarius. Use his example to inspire you to rebel against one of your mottoes or refuse to obey your own well-worn advice. At least temporarily, the best thing you can do for your mental health is experiment with alternatives to policies you usually regard as inviolable.

jonesin crossword puzzle

28 “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give ___” 29 “Mack the Knife” singer Bobby 31 Exclamation close to 17-across 32 Aptly named 1986 BMX film 33 Element found much more in robots than humans 34 Really get 35 Idea that may summon up courage 38 Pouty face 39 Start of a saying about violent TV news 40 “Girl, I’ll take ___ a movie show...” (Prince lyric) 41 Far right-wing commentator Coulter 42 Valerie Plame et al., supposedly 43 Way around Paris

Once you have tasted

sion on the floor of a halfway house when she had the epiphany that ultimately transformed her into a brilliant, rich, successful teacher. I believe your fate in the coming weeks will have elements of both of those motifs.

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Across 1 VCR button 4 Sorority letter 9 Thicket of small trees 14 Common diatomic molecule 15 “Li’l” comic strip character 16 “The Rubber Capital of the World” 17 “I’m onto your scheme!” 18 “Dancer in the Dark” director Lars von ___ 19 “Uh, I guess that could happen” 20 Bob Marley song redone by the Fugees in 1996 23 Original “King Kong” character Carl, to be reprised by Jack Black in a 2005 remake 24 Reporter’s “w” 25 Low reef

4

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

According to my analysis of the astrological omens, it would be an excellent time for you to put on your best clothes and clean toilets at a leper colony in India, or give exuberant foot massages to workers at a sewage disposal plant, or sing songs, sip champagne, and play card games with patients at a psychiatric hospital. Adventures like those would put you in close alignment with your highest possible destiny. Do they strike you as too extreme? If so, figure out alternatives that will work for you: Conjure up your most expansive and generous energy as you carry out taxing tasks that benefit other people.

CAPRICORN

a u g u s t

Leonardo da Vinci • artist, painter, and inventor

VACTION ON THE FLY Pilots find a common ground DAVID SOLANA • PHOTO EDITOR

Editors Note:This past weekend, Buzz photo editor and flight enthusiast David Solana attended the Experimental Aircraft Association’s Oshkosh Airventure in Wisconsin. Here are his stories.

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or one week every year, an airport in Oshkosh,Wisc., becomes the busiest airport in the world. As the host of the Experimental Aircraft Association’s annual Oshkosh Airventure, the small town welcomes pilots, flying enthusiasts, and anyone else they can drag along with them—people show up from around the world. While the airport has accommodated aircraft as large as the Concorde and beyond, most of the traffic is composed of smaller planes: antiques, warbirds (military craft), and plenty of homebuilts (planes built in people’s garages). My father and I took the trip to Oshkosh in his homebuilt RV-6A. As exhilarating as any ordeal that can kill you, even if you try to do everything right, the landing at Oshkosh is always an adventure.The landing procedure instructions are available on the Internet and make a small book when they are printed out. My father is meticulous with his preparations, so I always feel safe. Things were going well at first. Every incoming plane has to enter a landing pattern over a small town, Ripon. From there, you follow the railroad tracks on in to the airport.We were doing well. Traffic was lighter than we’d expected – which is to say it was heavy, but not as busy as the last time we went together. In other words, we were able to maintain the requisite half-mile between ourselves and the guy in front of us. Then we heard a pilot on the radio. He wasn’t sure if his landing gear was working. The airport tower diverted us to a holding pattern around a nearby lake. A holding pattern can become boring without much effort. You just fly in a circle around a point on the ground until you are allowed to continue on to your destination. It’s important to plan fuel usage for such occasions when flying into Oshkosh, because it’s entirely possible to get into a pattern for an hour or longer. Eventually we were directed back toward the airport. As we were preparing to follow the plane in front of us back over the railroad tracks, some maverick appeared off our left wing, and we had to swing out wide to keep a safe distance between us and him. We swung out so far that we ended up leading in The Bulldog performs during the Saturday the whole pack of planes that had been stuck in holdafternoon airshow. s o u n d s

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PHOTOS • DAVOD SOLANA

f r e e

The highlight of Oshkosh Airventure 2005 was the arrival of the White Knight and Space Ship One.The space ship, the first civilian craft to reach space, flew for the last time on the last day of Oshkosh on a trip to the Smithsonian Museum in Washington, D.C. ing patterns even farther out. But you can’t guarantee you’re going to land even when you’re 200 feet above the runway. As we were in a steep descent toward the runway, a plane pulled out directly in front of us. A voice on the radio said something about going over him, but he started to take off. It was apparent that flying over this guy would only earn us a plane flying up into our belly. Instead, we dropped into an even steeper decent, and landed behind him. Finally, with our wheels on the ground and the plane off the runway, we had arrived.

My dad is a safe pilot. I can tell by how he picks the forums

we attend.We always go to at least one about safety.This weekend we went to two. We also saw many other speakers, from Charles Lindbergh’s grandson, Erik, to Paul Tibbets, the pilot who dropped the first atomic bomb from the Enola Gay, and on to Chuck Yeager, the first man to fly faster than the speed of sound. You can learn all sorts of good stuff at safety lectures, though – some of it applicable in situations that don’t involve flying. For example, safety lecturer Pat Shaub told us the most dangerous

two words in the English language are “Watch this!” But Shaub warned, as a Texan, the danger following those words is amplified infinitely if the phrase is preceded by “Hold my beer.” Ironically, the forum we attended immediately afterward, which had a far larger crowd than Shaub’s, demonstrated exactly why the safety speaker’s words were ineffective. Former test pilots Bob Hoover and Chuck Yeager had some fun stories about buzzing – what we had just learned to be the number one cause of fatal airplane crashes. Hoover recounted a time when he was at a flying competition in Europe in the mid-1900s. The United States had gotten destroyed in the competition, coming in ninth place while the Soviet Union team took an easy first. Afterward, the Soviets, who knew Hoover and held him in high esteem, invited him to try out their superior planes. He accepted and proceeded to perform their entire routine. Upside down.

One of the best parts about flying to the show is that you don’t have to camp in the crowded area with people who drove to the show. Instead, you can pitch your tent right next to the plane. C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

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4 •

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coulter

I'M AGAINST PICKETING, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHOW IT.

first things first

Michael Bolton is the new UN ambassador?

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PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

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picked up the paper Monday morning and saw a headline that was sort of surprising and yet I wasn’t especially surprised by it in any way. It said, “Bush names Bolton UN Ambassador.”Why our president was so anxious to name someone to the post sort of escapes me since we don’t really pay much attention to anything the UN says anymore, but that part didn’t surprise me. He avoided a filibuster for awhile by appointing the guy while Congress wasn’t in session, but that didn’t surprise me much either. Nope, the biggest surprise was that I just assumed the arrogant simpleton had appointed easy listening singing sensation Michael Bolton to the post. It was actually John Bolton, who sadly is probably less qualified for the position than Michael Bolton. I mean, music is the universal language, and like Burt Bacharach always says, “What the world needs now, is love, sweet love” so a Michael Bolton power ballad might have a more calming effect in such turbulent times than a pain-in-theass right-wing crony who doesn’t believe in the organization to begin with. Besides, I figured George W. was probably a big Michael Bolton fan.

“People see me and they don’t think about love.Well I’m going to change all that with this UN appointment. Piss, I don’t think Michael Bolton has ever even had a song without the word ‘love’ in the title, so, after this, I should be seen as the president of love. Plus, goddamn, the only thing prettier than that boy’s voice is that flowing hair of his. He will make a fine ambassador to the UN. Excuse me, Dick, um, what do the initials UN stand for again?” Actually, it might not be a bad idea if he re-thought the appointment and named the singing Bolton instead. I mean, a little less than half the country really doesn’t have much use for the president, so at least he could reach out to the disenfranchised by naming someone we recognize to the position. Who doesn’t love a celebrity? In fact, I wouldn’t even stop there if I were him. Naming celebrities to important posts might make the president seem like a cooler guy to some of us. Courtney Love would make a fine Drug Czar. Seriously, if you want to end the drug problem, don’t name a czar who’s never been high. Name a crazy junkie who can leave her house at four in the morning and come back with twenty bottles of OxyContin and eight bottles of vodka. Plus, she seems to be very

opinionated and crazy, so she’d fit right in with the rest of the folks. Let’s not forget the little things either. She’s sort of in a stupor and sort of a tramp, so they could all make out with her during those long nights of policy meetings. I’m sure Rumsfeld wouldn’t be opposed to giving her the high hard one in the coat closet during a coffee break. Hell, she probably wouldn’t remember it anyway. Even the president might seem a little less tense. “Hey Courtney, do you know why it’s called the Oval Office? See, it’s shaped like an oval, you know, one of them stretched-out circles. Hey, close the door behind you and I’ll break out some of that liquor and pills you like so much. Uh huh, it sure is hot in here, so don’t be afraid to take that shirt off if you get uncomfortable.” Of course I’m just trying to help out, but even I don’t thing he should take it too far. For example, I was thinking that maybe he could name Jennifer Lopez to a post. Afterall, eventually people are going to get tired of paying her to make movies that nobody ever sees and songs that aren’t particularly good, so she may be looking for steady work someday soon. However, a woman like her could never be on

the cabinet because it would be far too complicated. Let’s face it, when someone is talking about the “big ass” in the room, I’m sure the president just assumes they’re talking about him. Throw Jen in there though and he is forced to figure out which “big ass” they’re talking about this time. It’s a far too confusing situation for a man of sure stature. “Hey Dick, just so I’m clear for the press conference, I’m the Michael Coulter big ass that’s dicking up the is a videographeconomy and Jenny over there is er, comedian the big ass you’d like to rub down and sort of a with lotion? Am I reading this smart-ass. But we love him anysituation right there, big guy?” When it’s all said and done way, and don’t though, naming famous folks know why. might just be the answer. It’s easy for Republicans and Democrats to argue about the qualifications of a judge, but no one of any party could argue that a Robert DeNiro would be perfect in such a role, maybe even one of those desperate housewives if you wanna go in a completely different direction. I mean, if you’re gonna have a bunch of people in the capital pretending to care about the people, you might as well go with the best pretenders you have.

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Employment 000 HELP WANTED

Campus Bus Co. needs full time 9am-5pm M-F, Selling tickets from campus office. 352-6682

Graphic Designers Earn money and gain experience with a flexible schedule at the Illini Media Production Dept. A qualified candidate will be a U of I student, have a strong sense of design and the ability to work in a fast- paced but fun environment. Experience in Photoshop, Illustrator & InDesign a plus. We produce ads for the Daily Illini and Buzz as well as marketing materials for the various branches of Illini Media. For more information contact jonhuff@illinimedia.com

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 or 847446-1001 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

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035

Summer Jobs

Apply in Person. 1201 S. Neil St, Champaign Jillian’s is an equal opportunity employer. We hire without regard to sex, race, age, religion, national origin, or disability. All applicants will be considered for all positions regardless of sex, race, age, religion, national origin, or disability. Zorba’s now hiring for fall semester. must be able to start in early August. Flexible schedule. Lunches, evenings and weekends. Free food during shift. Apply at Zorba’s 627 E. Green St. 344-0710. Harvest help on organic vegetable farm. Now-Nov. 1. Full/ Part time positions. 643-2031.

EMPLOYMENT WANTED040 Home health care provider. $10/ hour. 24 hours $150. Will clean, cook, run errands and help with personal care. State Certified. Please call 493-7830

Services

FOR SALE

285

For Sale: Couch, poker table, 2 chairs, exercise equipment. 630-862-0879. Well- trained 4 month old chocolate lab mix puppy. Playful, loving, smart. Call Melissa (630)-299-9524. Window A/C units. One new, one used. $60 total. bigal_2001@yahoo.com

Transportation 300

410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

CENTRAL PARK LOFTS 1 BEDROOMS FROM $450.00 2 BEDROOMS FROM $470.00 - BEAUTIFUL PARK VIEWS - COMPLETELY REMODELED LOCATED AT 305 W. PARK, 403 W. PARK & 405 W. PARK IN URBANA, IL CLOSE TO ENGINEERING CAMPUS CLOSE TO CARLE HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY AVAILABLE

CALL KEN AT 898-5894 1st & Green location. New 2 Bedroom w/Loft skylights. Washer/Dryer, Deck, Free parking. $700/mon. Aug. to Aug. 202-7070

410

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626 1 BR. Apartments. 108 E. Stoughton, C. Parking Included Fall ‘05. $435/ month. 384-0333.

615 W. Kirby

408 E. Elm. Very nice 1 or 2 bedroom apts. Near Lincoln Square, busline, major shopping. Ample Parking. Water, trash, year lease. No Pets.$395- $450/mo. 356-9288.

609 W. MAIN, U. Renting Aug 2005. 2 bedroom apts Furnished $525/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, laundry facilities, Gas Heat, Ethernet connection avail. Showing 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 712 West Illinois- Totally Remodeled. Hardwood floors, fireplace, dining room, loft. Washer/ Dryer, most utilities, 1 or 2 Bath. 2 BR- $550, 3 BR- $900- $1050. 637-2111

2 BEDROOMS 2 BATHROOMS! Holy Bleep! Beautifully furnished or unfurnished apartments located on 2 bus lines. 903 N. Lincoln Ave, Urbana. Washer and Dryer in apartment. Dishwasher, fireplace, balcony. FROM $790/MONTH & FREE CABLE. For showing contact: John Smith Property Management 217-384-6930 www.johnsmithproperties.com

www.wpgu.com

APARTMENTS

410

Furnished/Unfurnished BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

COURTYARD ON RANDOLPH 713 S. Randolph,C. Now renting for Fall. 1, 3 BR left from $678. Near campus, downtown Champaign. Includes cable, parking, water. Has laundry facilities and seasonal pool. 217-352-8540 217-355-4608 (evenings) www.faronproperties.com

3 BEDROOM TOWNHOUSE HESSEL PARK

CA, DW, CARPORT, RECROOM. 1600 SQ. FT. $1250 398-1998 www.lincolnshireprop.com

100

RENT IT!!! 337-8337

351-1767

s c e n e

White wire shelf, 48 x 18, $20; Solid oak round table with four chairs, $125; Drafting table, 31 x 42; $40. Reverse osmosis/DI unit, $40; Truck speaker box, $15. Peter 355-3841. Leave message.

APARTMENTS

HELP WANTED

www.johnsonrentals.com rentals@johnsonrentals.com

t h e

240

Furnished/Unfurnished

Call for an appointment

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

220

1 (888) 801-JOBS employment@americallgroup.com

Fall 2005 Apartments

Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

f r o m

030

HELP WANTED

*Flexible Schedules/Hrs *Paid Vacations/Holidays *Opportunity for holiday time off *Health/Life/Dental/401(k) *Incentives/Raises/Bonuses *Career Advancement *Great atmosphere!

Johnson Rentals

Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

s o u n d s

Students needed to paint campus apartments in August. $9/hr. Apply at Roland Realty, 212 East Green, C. 8-5 M-F.

BILINGUALS NEEDED!

• 2 Bedrooms 308 E. Armory 312 E. White Property Management 104 E. John 103 E. Stoughton 105 S. Fourth • Efficiencies 210/208 E. White 1103 S. Euclid • 3 Bedrooms • 1 Bedrooms 807 S. Locust 508 S. First 210/208 E. White 108 W. Charles 312 E. White 312 E. White 104 E. John 105 S. Fourth 104 E. John • 4 Bedrooms 103 E. Stoughton 807 S. Locust 210/208 E. White

Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word

s c e n e

PAINTERS

In addition to our $7.50-$9.50 hourly wage, we offer a great scholarship program for college students!

JILLIAN’S

Ag/ AnSci/ Vet Get great experience with pets and animal nutrition as a part-time sales clerk for Prairieland Feeds. Knowledge of pets/ horses helpful. Some heavy lifting required. Flexible hours. Shawn 352-2232.

Billed rate: 35¢/word

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020

Part Time

RATES:

f r o m

Group leaders wanted for Holy Cross After Care Program in Champaign. Monday thru Friday, 2:305:30. Starting Fall. Call Mrs. Devall 398-2878.

Full/Part Time

RESERVATIONIST

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

s o u n d s

010

dailyillini.com

Earn a $250-$800 Tuition Check each Semester!

Part Time

Champaign Country Club Applications are now being accepted for full/ part time banquet and dining room food and beverage servers. Excellent opportunity to work with a friendly and professional staff in very modern kitchens and dining rooms. Experience is a plus but club will also train. Excellent compensation and benefits. Apply in person between the hours of 10a.m- 8p.m

HELP WANTED

020

HELP WANTED

Full Time

DEADLINE:

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

BOOKS

COMPARE TEXTBOOK PRICES! Search 24 bookstores with 1 click! Shipping and taxes calculated. http://www.bookhq.com

Hell no, but why can’t Courtney Love take over as Drug Czar?? MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

17

buzz weekly •

WHEN I'M OUT WALKING I STRUT MY STUFF YEAH I'M SO STRUNG OUT.

Available for Fall 407 E. University. Luxury one bedrooms, fully equipped- microwave, washer/dryer in-unit. Security building with elevator. Balconies, underground parking. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012 Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626. Available now. Efficiencies 1, 2, 3 bedrooms. $390- $750/mo. 7664746.

Efficiency $225/mo. A/C, laundry, available now. 404 Edgebrook, C. Near busline. 721-6477. EXECUTIVE LOFT 201 S. Wright St., Champaign. Adjacent to Engineering campus. Loft bedroom, security parking, balcony, A/C, laundry. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012 Large, Decorated, Quiet. 2 Br. Loft apt. Close to campus, No smoke, No pets, utilities paid, with W/D. $700. 355-9463.

No Campus Hassle NEAR DOWNTOWN & WESTSIDE PARK

1418 LINCOLNSHIRE, SW CHAMPAIGN 2 BR, water furn. $495/mo LOCATION HAS: central air, laundry facilities, parking, near busline 352-3642, 356-0660

UNIQUE Available Fall. 1 bedroom loft apartment. Fully equipped. Balcony, parking. 409 W. Green. Call Hardwick Apartments, 356-5272 or 621-1012.

Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S


APARTMENTS

AU G . 4

I’M HIGH AS A KITE I JUST MIGHT STOP TO CHECK YOU OUT.

410

Furnished/Unfurnished

410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

Sunnycrest Apartments 1717 E. Florida, U Large 1 and 2 BR apartments. Includes water and parking, on-site laundry, pool. Starting @ $450/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927. Quiet 2 Bedroom Townhouse 1000 SF. $650- 685, Campus Bus. CA, DW, yard, laundry. 398-1998.

410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

Furnished

CLASSIFIEDS 337-8337 www.wpgu.com

604 W. Stoughton, U 2 bedroom, 2 bath, W/D, Deluxe Furnished, King size bed, Roll-in shower $910

NO BULL! Free Best Buy and Campus Tan gift certificate with each signed lease! Remodeled apartments that redefine campus living. 3 and 4 bedroom apartments available at 810 S. Oak St. between John and Daniel in Champaign. 3 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (only $333 per roommate!) 4 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (less than $250 per roommate!) High-speed internet, water, and trash included! Laundry in building. NINE MONTH LEASES NEGOTIABLE

217-384-6930

www.johnsmithproperties.com

Sunnycrest Apts

Spacious 1 BR, a/c, laundry, free parking, on bus-line near shopping Starting at $385

Fall 2005

102 E. Gregory, C 202 E. John, C 610 E. Stoughton, C 910 & 910.5 S. Locust, C 807 W. Oregon, U 908 S. Lincoln, U

AVAILABLE NOW

Bedrooms

344-1306 or 352-4104 BZ Management

WESTGATE

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 1, 2 2, 3 1 3 10

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

104 E. Armory, C. 3 & 4 bedroom apartment, 2 baths. All new furniture. Great Location. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

105 E. GREEN, C Studio apts avail Aug 2005. Carpet, electric heat, wall a/c units, off street parking avail, laundry Ethernet connection avail. Rents from $295/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1107 S. EUCLID, C Aug 2005 rental. Near Armory, IMPE and Snack Bar. 1 bedroom apts. Window A/C, Gas Heat, laundry. Parking $35/mo. Rents start at $395/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 301 E. White, C. 2 BR apartment avaiable mid- August, includes water and parking. $625/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

APARTMENTS

• Clean 1 & 2 Bedrooms • Dependable, 24hr. NOW LEASING maintenance FOR FALL • 24 Hour Courtesy

Gate House

344-0700 • www.GabesPlace.com

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

1006 S. 3RD, C.

FALL 2005 Smith Apartments 384-1925

Location

420

APARTMENTS

• Superior management • Short-term Leases (limited availability) • Free Parking • On Busline

359-5330 359-5330

Hours: M-F 9-6 Sat 9-1 • www.westgateapts.net

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APARTMENTS

503- 505- 508 E. White

Available now and Fall 2005. Extra large 1 bd and efficiencies. Prices ranging from $375-485. Off-street parking, security building, & 5 floor plans to choose from. Make your appointment today!

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny, 493-0429. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

304 & 306 E. Clark, C Castle Apartments 3 blocks to Engineering Quad. 3 BR $690, 4 BR $890. C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit. 384-1099, castle_apartments@ameritech.net

311 E. WHITE, C Avail Aug 2005. Large furnished efficiencies close to Beckman Center. Rent starts at $325/mo. Parking avail at $30/mo. Window A/C, carpet, High Speed Internet connection avail. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

dailyillini.com

420

Furnished

111 E. Healey, Champaign

1140 sq/ft. Condo, 2 bedroom, garage, w/d, dishwasher, A/C. 814 Sunset, Urbana. $780/mo. 3449318 or 244-8040.

1 0 , 2 OO5

APARTMENTS

Furnished

JTS Properties 328-4284

Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 E. Clark 1 block from Beckman. Large Efficiencies. Security doors. Parking. Internet ready. Furnished. NEW RENOVATIONS! 377-5971. www.509eclark.com

509 E. White, C. Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

End of Season Special 1 Month’s Free Rent

(on selected units only in the following buildings)

306-410 E. Michigan, U 508-510 E. Michigan, U 1102 E. Colorado, U

Quiet Urbana location very close to campus avail for Aug 2005. 1 BR apts. Rents start at $405/mo. Carpet, laundry facilities, window A/C, storage, parking avail at $25/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

602 E. Stoughton

Huge 2 bedroom apts. Fantastic location, close to Engineering Computer Science. Gas heat, A/C, carpet, laundry, off street parking @$25/ mo. Bargain Rent from $425/ mo. Best Deal on Campus. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1 0 , 2 OO5

uNDER c OVER

BUZZ STAFF v o l u m e

3

604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2005, Large 1 bedroom furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 610 W. Washington St., U. Very large 3 BR. hardwood floors, fireplace. 2 blocks from campus. Quiet residential neighborhood. Water and garbage included. Off-street lighted parking. 12 month lease. Available Aug. 1. No pets. Applications taken. $895/mo. 367-8603, 8405225. 611 W. Church St., C. Beautiful 2 BR. in security locked building. Laundry facilities. Heat, hot water, sanitary garbage included. Parking spot in lighted off-street parking. Extra storage, dishwasher, central air. Sound & fire proof. No pets. applications taken. Available Aug. 1. $595/mo. 367-8603, 8405225 618 W. Green, C.

n o . 3 1

Cover Design • David Solana & Claire Napier Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Claire Napier Copy Chief • Erin Green Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Constance Beitzel Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Erin Scottberg Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Brittany Bindrim, Nikita Sorokin, Obumneme Asota Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner, Todd Swiss Photography • Austin Happel Copy Editors • Erin Green Staff Writers • Todd Swiss, Paul Prikazsky, Syd Slobodnik, Beth Dillman, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ

Call for further information. Ca m p u s Pro p e rty Ma n a g e m e n t 303 E. Green • 217.328.3030

2 2 2 3 4 |5-6| 5 |7-8| 7 8 8 8 | 9 - 11 | | 12 - 13 | 12 12 13 13 | 14 - 15 |

e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com

14

write: 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820

14

call: 217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini

14

Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

© Illini Media Company 2005

Furnished Apartment in quiet offcampus house. New paint and carpet. Free parking.

Large 2, 3 & 4 Bedrooms Some have jacuzzi, washer/ dryers, fireplaces

buzz weekly •

I HAVEN'T SLEPT FOR TEN DAYS, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE TOO LONG.

|1-4|

509 W. MAIN, U.

508, 510 & 512 E. Stoughton, C.

AU G . 4

THE

18 • b u z z w e e k l y

Large 1 BR $500/mo Heat, water and gas paid. 356-2018

15 15 15 | 16 | 16 16 | 17 - 20 |

INTRO

People

AROUND TOWN Pilots find common ground • David Solana

LISTEN, HEAR Lollapalooza • Kyle Gorman Slowpoke • Jen Sorenson Sound Ground #87 • Todd J. Hunter Frank Black review • Frank Krolicki

MAIN EVENT ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT The Pain and Itch review • Syd Slobodnik Festival review • Jeff Nelson Artist’s Corner with Jason Donavon (Th)ink • Keef Knight

THE SILVER SCREEN Must Love Dogs review • Paul Prikazsky Top Ten Charts Local Film Stop • Shadie Elnashai Movie Time Listings Stealth review • David Just The Devil’s Rejects review • Dan Maloney

THE STINGER Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

CLASSIFIEDS

EDITOR’S NOTE PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

The Local Sniff • Seth Fein This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening Editor’s Note • Paul Wagner First Things First • Michael Coulter

3

don’t read enough anymore. Obviously, if you’re reading this, my accusation likely does not apply to you. But seriously, people need to read more. Hell, I need to read more. Sure, I read all the time for this job, but I’m not talking about magazines. Magazines are mostly just mindless fun, even if the writing is great like in this wonderful publication. Newspapers are ok, seeing as I read the New York Times a lot, and I check out CNN Online every so often, and I like to think that these small gestures connect me somehow to the world and its happenings, but that’s beside the point. I’m talking about good old-fashioned reading of novels. Long ago, my mom instilled a deep desire in me to read, mostly because I wanted to impress her, (she read all the time,and still does) but that craving to devour words still burns inside me. No magazine or newspaper article can compete with a well-crafted work of fiction, or even a beautiful sentence within that work. Poetry, in this vein, or any vein for that matter, works as well. I think it has something to do with feeling creative, or powerful, even, to lose yourself in the mind of an author. To lose yourself so thoroughly in a world created by words that you forget about your own real world and real problems entirely. Or maybe not.Who knows? But for a long

time I’ve let my school reading fall a distant second to a good book on my ever-growing list of priorities. Recently, though, I’ve neglected my urge to read (of course, I’ve bought at least six books without having read anything new) and have given in to exhaustion nearly every night. Recently, though, my good friend and former lab partner, Katie, gave me a book and told me that I had to read it because she thought it sounded like a book I would write, if I ever were to write a book. The novel is called The Book of Joe by Jonathon Tropper, and I’ll likely be done with it by presstime. It’s incredible. Hopelessly witty in an unstoppable sort of way, wonderfully self-deprecating, it captures feelings so completely that I have to remind myself that it’s only a book. But that’s just my take on things. Either way, I highly recommend checking it out, especially if you’ve ever been destroyed by love, and I know you have. Also, as a side note, I would love to write for a living, just as I’d love to stay in school and be a professional student so I can continue to learn as much as humanly possible. I think that the unfortunate and impending end to this stage in my life where all things are possible scares the shit out of me, and my wild career fantasies protect me from the inevitable, if only for an instant. Anyway, I’m feeling poetic and philosophical right now, so I hope you enjoyed my indulgence. Now get out there and read a book, but read the rest of the issue first. - Paul

705 W. High St., U Very quiet large studio in old house. NO PETS. $400+ some utilities. 359-5115

ADVANTAGE PROPERTIES C-U Formerly Wakeland Rentals

Bring all your books to

ILLINI UNION

DON’T MISS OUT ON THESE DELUXE APARTMENTS!

BOOKSTORE

Leasing for Fall 2005 SPRING SPECIALS!

No Security Deposit $50 Off Application Fee $50 Look & Lease Drawing on 6/30/05 for: • MP3 Player • Digital Camcorder • Mobile Entertainment System • and other cool prizes!

301 E. Clark, C.

2

402 N. Gregory, U.

404 E. Clark, C.

3

406 Elm/201 Grove, U. 1

503 E. Stoughton, C.

3

502, 504 W. Elm, U.

Studio

510 E. White, C.

2

506 W. Elm, U.

3

608 E. White, C.

3

1009 W. Stoughton, U. 2,4

2302 W. John

1102 E. Colorado, U.

(brand new),C. 108 N. Busey, U.

2 2 (House)

2

2,3,4

1301 Harding/1302 Brighton (new), U.

1

306-510 E. Michigan, U. 1,2,3 1806 Cottage Grove

!

105 S. Wright, C.

1

401 W. Springfield, U.

4

(new), U. 2008 S. Vawter, U.

2 3,4

303 E. Green, Champaign www.cpm-apts.com cpm@cpm-apts.com Office Hours: Mon-Thurs: 9-6, Fri: 9-5, Sat: 11-3

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

Two Bedroom Apartments 1 left 1 left 1 left 1 left 1 left

1007 W. Main 1008 W. Main *813 W. Main 209 W. Griggs 1004 W. Main

corner of Wright & Daniel

$890 $870 $700 $900 $810

Thursday & Friday, August 4 & 5, 10am–5pm

*One parking spot included

217-344-0394 www.advproperties.com f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

Monday - $2 Domestic Beers Tuesday - $2 Rum & Coke Wednesday - $2.50 Screwdrivers Thursday - $2 Amaretto Stone Sours FREE POOL 8PM-9PM FEMALE DANCERS NIGHTLY OPEN Monday - Thursday 8pm-1am Friday-Saturday 8pm-2am Ladies & Couples Welcome Always Free Admission with our T-Shirt ATM $5.00 Admission/Ladies Free Accepted MUST BE 21

Saturday, August 6 10am–4:30pm

We encourage you to check with the U of I Tenant Union before signing a lease!

s o u n d s

Silver Bullet Bar 1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net 344-0937

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S


2 •

buzz weekly

seth fein

AU G . 4

I GOT MY HAIR HIGHLIGHTED, BECAUSE I FELT SOME STRANDS WERE MORE IMPORTANT THAT OTHERS.

the local sniff

1 0 , 2 OO5

FIRST SNIFF

My brain had obviously been tainted by the smell of carnival food and the sight of too much neon clothing. As I looked around the crowd, my only thought was, “Who the hell are all these people and is it possible that I actually live among them?” In addition to being the fattest group I’ve seen in months, they were also the worst-behaved that I have ever seen in my life.The kids behind me were literally yelling, “Stupid Horse! Stupid Horse! That horse is dumber than dogshit!” as their parents sat zoned in on the action, corn dogs in one hand and funnel cakes in the other. Now, I would like to believe that I will be a pretty decent dad eventually. I think that I could actually be one of the cool ones - the kind that are understanding and supportive of their children no matter what their interests are. But I’ll be damned if I ever take my kids to a rodeo and watch them yell profanities at innocent and abused animals. I turned around, looked the kid straight in the face and asked him, “Hey little buddy. If I tied your balls together around your back and pulled them up real tight, I bet you’d look like a bit of a dumbass too.” Needless to say, they all shut up. But I thought the parents were going to skin my hide. NOTHING

QUITE LIKE

DISNEY

AND

PORN

As uncomfortable as that was, we decided to stay a little longer only to find that they had planned a kids portion of the rodeo, where Belle from Beauty and The Beast comes out and does her little acrobatic dance thing. It was nice enough for a few minutes and actually quite innocent. But wouldn’t you know it, as soon as I began to appreciate it for the children’s sake, the loudspeaker blared again, “All right now, cowpokes! We’re gonna spice things up for y’all a bit now! Go to it, Belle!” She turned, faced the grandstand and wouldn’t you know it, she just rips her clothes off to reveal nothing but a skimpy leotard! These kids behind me went from totally entranced by something completely nice and appropriate, to watching I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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something borderline pornographic in literally seconds! I think they were as stunned as I was. THE MORAL

OF THE

APARTMENTS

58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Showings Monday-Friday 10-5 Saturday 11-4

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN CAMPUS 2 BEDROOM

Spacious furnished apartments. 702-704 W Elm *Excellent Campus Location near Lincoln & Green *Ethernet *Laundry *Parking *Balcony *Kitchen/Bar Combination From $660 Roland Realty 351-8900

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $555/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Several one bedrooms: $385, $365 & $350 plus utilities. Sorry no pets. Free parking, A/C. 344-2775

403 E. White - $540/mo. 302 S. Fourth - $540/mo. 405 E. White - $400/mo.

WE’RE BETTER THAN CHOCOLATE!

All Units: Carpet, A/C, Appliances Cable & Internet Ready Parking Available On-Site Laundry

Ask Tenant Union about us 390-2377

Gentry Square Apartments www.apartmentschampaign.com 356-2533

New Building “Lofts on John” One bedroom, unfurnished, W/D, dishwasher, opening August 05 $650/mo. Near John and 2nd. Call 356-1407

www.wpgu.com

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished

URBANA

Champaign 2 Bedrooms

LANDO PLACE 707 South 6th, C. Large 1 BR. Includes water and trash removal. On-site Laundry. Secured Building. Local phone service and ethernet. Parking Available. From $580/mo. CAMPO RENTAL AGENCY 344-1927

430

1 bedroom in older home. $625/ mo. Utilities included. 314 S. State St, Champaign. 369-7205

205 EAST HEALEY, C Renting Aug 2005. Very large 1 bedroom apts. Carpet, Window A/C, High Speed Internet connection avail. Parking avail at $30/mo. Shown Daily 7 days a week. Rents start at $435/mo. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 407 W Columbia, C 1 bedroom, $460, Available August. New kitchen, new bath, free parking. www.cuforrent.com 217-353-5027

606 S. PRAIRIE, C Huge 1 bedroom apts in quiet Champaign neighborhood near campus and bus line. Perfect for Grad Students. Gas heat, window a/c, free off street parking. Priced $50/mo below competition. From $380/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 701 W. Indiana. 2 BR. 1000+ sq. ft Living room, hardwood floors, full basement. Duplex. Avail. Aug. 1. Great location. 384-0333.

800 W. CHURCH, C.

1 BR, Hardwood Floors, Quiet, offstreet parking. 1211 W. Church, Champaign. $375. New kitchen. Excellent. Credit and references required. 367-1406

Now Available. 2 BRs. Centrally located near shopping/ transportation. Onsite laundry, off-street parking. $450/mo. 217-352-8540, 217-355-4608 pm www.faronproperties.com

2 Bedroom Large Townhouses. Most Utilities Paid at 707 W. California. $595. Phone 493-6483, 3845668.

Architects 2 Bdrm with loft, C.A. W.D. Sadorus, 12 mi. south. $600/mo. 398-1998

2 BR DUPLEX IN URBANA

Available August 2 BR. $630/ mo. Springfield and Gregory, Urbana. 390-1444.

hdwd floors, A/C, pkg, w/d hookups $525/month

The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

UNIVERSITY FIELDS 355-1579 117 Sterling Court, Savoy

www.collegeparkweb.com f r o m

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DAWSON PROPERTY MANAGEMENT 359-1221 Available August: Off campus 1 BR+ near West Side Park in downtown Champaign, prices ranging $390625. Older home character, great light and space. Good study atmosphere. Downtown apartment/ studio space @ 511 N. Neil, C. 2nd floor, 2000 sqft. 4 huge bedrooms, lots of windows, off- street parking. $1400/mo. Available August 15. Contact John, James Burch Real Estate, 3692310.

Large 1 BR Avail. Fall. $465- $475/mo. Includes most utilities, laundry, pkg, A/C. On busline. The Weiner Companies, Ltd 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

430

PRICES SLASHED FAIRLAWN VILLAGE FAIRLAWN & VINE SEMESTER LEASES Aug 2005. Live in a peaceful, relaxed, neighborhood setting. Fairlawn Village is a one-story apartment community, spread out on twelve acres, close to U of I, shopping and walking distance to schools. Spacious apartments with washer/dryer hook up, a/c, and garages available.Two bedrooms from $500 to $550/mo. Call for an appointment. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 344-5043 www.barr-re.com Quality Living Properties 328-4283 1-2 BEDROOM APARTMENTS NOW LEASING FOR AUG 2005

504 & 506 E. Green St., U

Available now and Aug 05. Near shopping and bus lines. D/W, laundry on site and off-street parking. $415/mo.

MUST RENT!!

710 S. Walnut, U

$200 credit on first rent. 705 W. Church, apt. K, C. available now, 2 bedroom,in perfect condition, offstreet parking included, central A/C, on-site laundry, on bus route to campus, $450/mo. 356-2758.

603 S. Walnut, U

One Month Free Rent 2 BR Townhomes with W/D, private patio and more! The perfect place to call home! Beautiful setting close to Hessel Park and on the busline. Call 356-4012

Park-like Setting

When you SIGN A LEASE

s o u n d s

Clean, quiet, 1 BR. in upscale old town Champaign. Wood floors, Includes parking, water, and garbage. Credit check, references. $400/ mo. 355-8512.

2 BR avail. mid-August

217-355-4999

APARTMENTS

19

Unfurnished

www.joelwardhomes.com

616 Healey Quiet 1 bedroom, free parking, water, trash. $385. 352-6101.

$20 Off Your Monthly Rent

344-0710

430

Unfurnished

Our most desirable location on U of I golf course. 1200 sq. ft, 2 bedroom, 2 bath, fireplace, study, dishwasher, W/D, A/C, carport plus parking, balcony/patio. 359-3687.

or

Tonight 9:30-12:30 Tom Paynter Quartet $3 Cover Great Music All Night

APARTMENTS

B R O A D M O O R AT R O B E R T: Quiet, residential neighborhood. Large 2 BR, all appliances, garage, swimming pool. $795-$825/mo. Available immediately.

$250 Visa Card

Jazz Nights at

s c e n e

MJM/Chateau Apartments

306- 308- 309 White August 2005. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 352-3182 or 8411996 anytime, 309 S. First. The University Group www.ugroup96.com

Thursday

t h e

420

Parkview Apartments 121 W. Park, Urbana Efficiency apartments for fall. Includes water, trash removal, on-site laundry. $395/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

GREAT VALUE

they asking for forgiveness or are they really asking God for His blessing? Think about it. He can be reached at sethfein@ hotmail.com.

f r o m

APARTMENTS Furnished

Furnished one bedrooms and efficiencies from $325, $365, and $395 near John and Second or Healey and Third. 356-1407.

I realize that it’s a cultural thing, this rodeo stuff. But shouldn’t there be some kind of law preventing people from treating animals this way? I mean, we don’t allow cruel and unusual punishment to humans who have committed a crime, do we? These animals have done nothing wrong yet they are still being abused by people all over the nation. Write to your congressman and tell him that you want to see an end to rodeos in America. Better yet, go to his home and tie his testicles up against his hands behind his back. Something tells me that might get him to listen.

s o u n d s

Furnished

Unfurnished

If you truly like the rodeo, I truly do not like you. I hope that some alien being comes into your home in the Seth Fein is from middle of the day and ties your Urbana. He wants testicles up against your hands to know: When behind your back.We’ll just see people pray to God before a rodeo, are how you like it.

627 E. Green St.

420

APARTMENTS

APARTMENTS

SO WE’RE CLEAR...

FINAL WHIFF

420

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

STORY

We stayed for one more ride as we discussed how stupid this was and how it was possible that people support this type of event.When the bull wouldn’t go back to the cage after he tried to free up his testicles, they started pounding on his head to make him obey. That is when we decided that we had had enough. My girlfriend looked at me and said, “I would rather hurt myself with another elephant ear than watch these sorry sacks of shit hurt one more animal.” I apologized and we left. JUST

6 0 1 -6 0 3 E . C la rk, C . F u rn ish e d 1 B R w /b a lco n y, la u n d ry, so m e fre e u til. 2 m in . fro m th e U n io n . S ta rtin g a t $ 3 8 5 . 344-1306 or 352-4104

buzz weekly •

LET ME GO ON LIKE I BLISTER IN THE SUN.

Furnished

BECKMAN APTS.

SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

ME UP FOR PARENTHOOD

A U G . 1 0 , 2 OO5

Furnished

I have never prayed for forgiveness so much in my life!

SIGN

APARTMENTS

The local sniffs the rodeo!

I did something incredibly stupid last week. I realize that I do stupid things every week, but this last week, I did something superduper stupid. I took my girlfriend to the rodeo. I knew that it was stupid of me going in. I knew that she would hate it. But I decided to give her, a true city girl who literally knows every single El stop in Chicago like the back of her hand, a taste of some of the more rural elements that my town has to offer. After all, she did move down here to be with me. So I thought to myself, “What better way to say thank you and I love you than by taking her to see grown men tie up a bull’s testicles, hit it over the head with a switch and then watch a man try to stay atop it while the he tries to get his testicles free?”

AU G . 4

laundry, pkg, W/A, $485/mo The Weiner Companies, Ltd

384-8018

www.weinercompanies.com Peaceful and quiet off-campus 1 and 2 BR apartments starting at $475. www.gardencourts.com 359-4652.

PRICES SLASHED 115 W. WASHINGTON, U

Avail Aug 2005. 1 bedroom apts. Carpet, window a/c, laundry, boiler heat. Rent was $510/mo. Now $425/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

South Busey Classic style, 1 bedroom plus study. Bright, sunny, in quiet neighborhood near Cafe Paradiso. Laundry, parking. Sorry no pets. 12 mo lease. References. $545 + utilities. 344-2775

dailyillini.com

Near bus lines and off-street parking included. $400/mo. Large apts., off-street parking, and W/D in unit. $500/mo.

201 E. California, U

2-bdr, Hrdwd floor, W/D in unit. $485/mo. Quiet 2nd flr. 2 BR. older home. $500. Screened porch. Above offices. August 15. Green near Cedar, U. tombruno@tombruno.com. 328-6000.

SUBLETS

440

2 bedroom duplex. W/D, C/A. 1 car attached garage. Quiet Urbana area. Victoria 344-7660; 6218293. Apartment sublet, 502 S. Mattis, Champaign, Aug. 05- July 06. Bi-level, 2 BR, 1.5 bath. Furnished or unfurnished. $600/mo. 217-621-0193 Stonegate Village Apt. 2 BR, 1.5 bath, patio, 1st floor Apt. Move in wknd of Aug. 20, rest of Aug. free. Possible other discount as well. Call 359-2434 for more info.

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

510

1908 Cresent, Cha.

Popular Southwood neighborhood. Beautiful hardwood flooring, 4 BDRS, 2 full baths, $1295/mo. Available August 1st.

www.joelwardhomes.com

217-355-4999

205 W. William, C. 2 BR for August. Washer/dryer in your apartment, A/C, fireplace, covered parking included. $640. 621-6347.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S


Available now. 3 BR $840/mo. 7664746.

2+ BR off-campus 3rd BR/ Office. Quiet Area. Great yard. Off-street parking. W/D hookup. 604 N. Edwin, C. $750/mo. 649-9708

Cozy Cottage - near Lincoln Square. Campus. Hardwood floors, 5 rooms, 2 BR. 359-3687

3 BEDROOM TOWNHOUSE HESSEL PARK, August 1 615 W. Kirby CA, DW, CARPORT, ELEGANT. 1600 SQ. FT. $1450 398-1998 www.lincolnshireprop.com 3 br, 1 ba, washer, dryer, AC, Nice back yard, 1 car garage. $750 per month. 712 E. Michigan, Urbana. 378-4741 3, 4 or 5 BR houses available. Fall 2005. Call Green Street Realty 3568750. 316 S. State St., C 4/ 5 bedroom home, 2 baths, 2 full kitchens, laundry room. $1100/mo. 369-7205.

610 S. State, Champaign Beautiful 5 Bedroom House on Busline near campus. 2 full kitchens, laundry hardwood floors, large yard. Perfect Condition. $1,500/ mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

www.ramshaw.com (217)359-6400

344-2376 or 359-2072

384-8018

www.weinercompanies.com

Unfurn. 3 BR

with pkg, w/d hookups, A/C Avail now & mid-August In west Champaign & east Urbana $650 - $795/month The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

384-8018

www.weinercompanies.com

ROOMS

530

JTS Properties 328-4284 Urbana Houses Available August 2005

*Private home includes cable Internet, telephone, utilities, parking. $450. 630-759-3634.

905 W. Main

3rd + Chalmers 1 bedroom in 4 bedroom apartment. 815-695-5836

2 BR, 1 Bath, W/D, pets welcome, & off-street parking. $800/mo.

105 N. Coler

CAMPUS AREA. Quality furnished large room in house on busline. Share kitchen, laundry, utilities. $235 and up. 356-0345. Cute house for rent in quiet Urbana. 5 BR, 2 bathrooms, fully furnished, W/D, parking. ruiz2@uiuc.edu.

BEAUTIFUL HOUSE •804 S Busey, U. •4 BR -- 2 BA •Off - Street Parking •Laundry •Wrap Around Porch

hwd floors, fireplace, W/A, carport Avail. mid-Aug at $895/month The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

Urbana Campus 4 bedroom 702 W. Green & 812 W. Main Jimmy 373-4888

Newly remodeled 5 BR, 2 bath, hardwood floors, off-street parking with garage. $1500/mo.

1 Block From Campus

Unfurn. 3 BR, 1.5 BA in Leal School District

FREE RENT! 806 W. Stoughton, Urbana- Are you and your friends still looking for a house for rent? This large house is a steal at reduced pricing. Four bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms and a garage. Recently updated with newer carpet and vinyl. Now offering 1/2 off security deposit and 1 month’s free rent. $1395/mo. Call Allison Today!

LINCOLN & STOUGHTON Furnished 4 BR w/ 2 BA parking, A/C, laundry $1,200/mo The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com SAFE street, new carpets/ interiors, furnished, 4 bedroom, 1 block from Lincoln & Green, central air, fireplace, living, dining, kitchen, W/D, includes parking, available August 15. No pets. $1400. 3673530 leave message.

RENTS STARTING AT

Graduate off campus rooms, on busline. $295/ mo. + utilities. 408-7687107.Pareigis@uiuc.edu NEWLY REMODELED Rooms available - Free parking/ wireless internet! On bus route, 3 mins. from campus, quiet. Only $325/ month! Call for a showing before it’s gone! (708)699-7311 or BTPManagement@gmail.com One bedroom in 3 bedroom apt, 202 John, Fall/ Whole year lease. Furnished, Right on Campus. $300 negotiable, 217-621-7545

$420

ROOMS

530

Room in 4 Bedroom, 2 Bath Furnished Apartment. Washer/ Dryer in unit. 5th and White. $230. 352-7818 Rooms in huge graduate student house near West Side Park and downtown Champaign. Will do one semester room share lease for $425 per month, female preferred. $485 per month for one year lease which includes utilities, trash, telephone, cable, Ethernet, free Washer/Dryer, private off-street parking, use of large living areas. Lease & deposit required. Available August 1st 2005. 217-355-2326. Single rooms for women. Clean, laundry facilities, close to campus, located on busline. $245- 260/ month. Utilities included. 367-4824.

ROOM & BOARD

540

FOR RENT

580

3 BR Apt. 501 W. Green. $700/mo 355-0520 Campus Parking Available. Call for more information. 328-3770.

RealEstateforSale 600 CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

3 and 4 bedroom townhouses, 1.5 bath, basement, CA, campus bus near Kirby + Mayfair, C. $825-850, 398-1998 Colony W. Condo First floor, 2 BR, 1 bath. W/D, D/W included. Access to pool & clubhouse, $725/mo. Aug. 15th. 3840333.

Want community? Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

Fully furnished Condo in Savoy, laundry room, garage, A/C. Close to bus line. Call 217-356-6680.

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

Unfurn. 3 BR, 2 BA duplex W/d, d/w, fireplace, 2 car garage

1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

Avail. mid-Aug at $895-995/month

2 Br., 2 bath loft, brand new appliances, great on campus location. 57 E. Chalmers. Parking, Central Air. $408/ mo. Alex 224-522-2539.

384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

2 Non- smokers to share a house. Busey and Oregon. $300-340/ mo utilities included. 217-328-3349 510 E. White 1 BR in a 2 BR apartment. $350/ mo, 9 month lease. Willing to give 2 free months. Contact David 773852-4296.

706 W. Hill, C. $300/mo. + share of utilities. Available Fall. Month to Month. www.cuforrent.com 217-353-5027 Female roommate wanted to share large furnished house. 1.5 blocks from campus, large bedroom, fenced in yard, deck, front porch, basement with free washer/dyer, dishwasher, A/C. $450 + 1/5 utilities. 706 W. Oregon. Katie 866-392-9072 kdeverea@uiuc.edu Grad students and cat seek roommate to share 3 BR off campus house. $300/mo + utilities. klamothe@uiuc.edu. 217-377-2138.

BEST BANG FOR YOUR BUCK

Male roommate needed. Furnished apartment $280 + utilities. 2 BR apartment with study room. 3rd floor, blocks from Engineering Quad. 847-514-5000

CAMPUS CONNECTION

Need one roommate to share fantastic furnished house at 606 W. Springfield, C. Ted 217-766-5108

Vote for Buzz and all of your wildest dreams will come true. seriously.

1301 S. Maple, U The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

HOUSES

630

For Sale 209 E. Kerr, U. 3 BR/ 1BA duplex. Shade trees, carpeted floors, offstreet parking, coin w/d. $225 + $70 util. 687-2654 301/ 304 W. Eureka, C. Aug. 1BR eff. in house. Large shade trees, hrdwd. floors, private entry, coin W/D, A/C, pet friendly. $300- 450 incl. some util. 687-2654.

2005 Illio Yearbooks

Indispensible

z buz FREE

s

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u

n

d

s

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r

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Pick up a copy of

The Daily Illini

every Monday through Friday The Daily Illini is the independent student newspaper at U of I and is distributed all over campus and around Champaign-Urbana

Roommate Wanted for large 3 bedroom, 1 bath apartment near Downtown Champaign. $400/month, includes all utilities + parking. 847345-3766 Roommate Wanted, Starting in August for off campus home with sunroom. $350 includes utilities. Linda 328-1417

www.collegeparkweb.com

CLASSIFIEDS 337-8337

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

s o u n d s

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COMMON GROUND

Call 337-8300.

Roommates wanted to share spacious house in Urbana. W/D, furnished, full yard, hot tub, high speed internet, must be dog friendly. $350/ $400/mo. + 1/4 utilities. 369-5540. or dsdoane@uiuc.edu.

h

champaign . urbana

Male Roommate to share 3 BR House in Downtown Urbana. $250 + utilities. 401 E. Main, (217)-8410995.

dailyillini.com

t

O8 | O4 | O5 . O8 | 1O | O5

Order TODAY!!!

Roommates wanted to share deluxe furnished 3/ 4 bedroom apartments at 3rd & Clark, C. Individual 1 year lease from $225/ mo. Ted 766-5108.

m

7

still on sale!

formerly Melrose Apartments 1601 N Lincoln Ave, Urbana

278-0278

Send us your event listings

y

510

l

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

HOUSES

k

510

e

HOUSES

1 0 , 2 OO5

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510

w

HOUSES

AU G . 4

LET ME GO ON BIG HANDS I KNOW YOUR THE ONE.

calendar@readbuzz.com

20 • b u z z w e e k l y

At Wisconsin’s Oshkosh Airventure pg. 5

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Buzz Magazine: Aug. 4, 2005  

Aug. 4, 2005

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