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champaign-urbana’s arts & entertainment magazine    FREE    07.09.09 - 07.15.09

  a better tuesday    free food not free bombs    check out the prostate on that one



C-U’s Choice for

Serious Pain Relief

JUL 09 – JUL 15 2009

volume 7 no. 27

Try a Precision Neuromuscular Massage and get $5 off your next visit!*

The best-kept secret in downtown Urbana.

Parking Lot Parties!

Happy Tuesday 6 Beer Garden Series Safe Place


An interview with e-zine author Lindsey Markel

Doin’ It Well Calendar


Joe’s Brewery gets the once-over

Spin Me ‘Round Town


How to add a little prostate to your sex life


B U Z Z COV E R D E S I G N : Tanya Boonroueng


Tommy Trafton



M OV I E E D I T O R :

Mark Grabowski Tanya Boonroueng Rebekah Nelson Claire Keating James Kyung Ross Topol Claire Keating


Go your fastest at the Tour de Champaign

Your guide to this week’s events


Bring a lawn chair & join in on the fun at 7pm!



Amanda Shively Michell Eloy Matt Carey Jean Kim Michell Eloy Amanda Shively Amanda Brenner Tom Cyrs Sarah Gleason Brandi Willis Mary Cory

No Cover Charge!



Call, stop-by or go online today! 407 W. Windsor Champaign 351-1011

Fitness Center Champaign 355-8794

Illini Union Oasis Urbana 239-1104

*60 or 90 minutes. Expires 12-31-09

ARC Champaign 239-5865 021709 BZ

Topless Female Dancers 18 to enter • Mon-Thur 8pm-1am • Fri-Sat 8pm-2am • $5 Cover (Always Hiring, We’ll Train)

Silver Bullet Bar

1401 E. Washington Urbana 217.344.0937


Under the Neon Sign

119 West Water Street, Urbana

Free Wi-Fi

T A L K O N T H E W E B :



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is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

First copy of buzz is free. Each additional copy is 50¢ JUL 09 – JUL 15 09

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GOOD FOOD, GOOD TIMES, EVERYDAY! Join us for lunch and/or dinner everyday!


Five select domestic bottles of beer for just $10.00 (except during parking lot parties) come and get it

weekahead Complete calendar listings on pages 12-13

what to expect on

thursday 9

friday 10

saturday 11

Thursdays at the Library: Games Galore!

Black and Blue Dance Rock Show

Tour de Champaign

Visit It’ll Do 2 for an evening of dance rock hits from the ’70s, ’80s, ’90s and today. Black and Blue will be on from 9 p.m. until 1 a.m. at the 21 and older establishment.

Hundreds of bikers from around the country will be in Champaign to take part in the first annual Tour de Champaign on the streets of downtown Champaign. The two days will feature more than 15 races for all age and skill levels. Race lengths last from 30 minutes to 70 minutes with some of the most highly skilled bikers riding at speeds around 30 m.p.h. The course will be from Main/Church Street to Walnut Street to University Avenue to Randolph Street from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m.

Middle and high school students are invited to bring friends and family to a night of gaming over video games, board games and charades at the Champaign Public Library. Events begin at 4 p.m. and are free to the general public.

sunday 12

monday 13

Second Sunday Artisans — Cindy Carlson & Biscuits and Gravy

Ballroom Dance Class

The Mahomet Lake of the Woods Forest Preserve will host an afternoon of artisans. In the Early American Museum from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m., join Cindy Carlson, a watercolorist who captures the depth of nature with light and shadow. Then from 5 p.m. to 6 p.m., join the crowd in the Mabery Gelvin Botanical Garden for music from the country western band Biscuits and Gravy.

Check out the University YMCA for beginning ballroom classes at 6:15 p.m. The cost is $45 for five sessions and free Sunday practices.

If you like piña coladas (and getting caught in the rain), July 10 is your day. Go online now to find the perfect recipe to celebrate National Piña Colada Day.

Art: Read up what Jeff Nelson, writer at large, has to say about his experience at Canadian theater festivals.

Movies: A review of the new controversial flick Bruno up on Saturday.

Community: Find out more about the Children’s Museum expansion on Friday.

let it out

Amanda Brenner Copy Editor Likes

wednesday 15

Trivia Dinner Hosted by Fishing with Dynamite

U of I Summer Band Concert on the Quad

Each Tuesday night starting at 7 p.m., comedians from Fishing with Dynamite will host a live gameshow at the Canopy Club, built around trivia questions to win great prizes. After each round, the group will give away free Canopy tickets and gift certificates to Manolo’s Pizza and Empanadas.

Conducted by Peter Griffin, the summer band’s repertoire includes standard works for band, challenging contemporary pieces, as well as popular selections from a wide array of musical styles. The concert will take place on the Quad at 7 p.m.; however, in case of inclement weather, the concert will be held at the Harding Band Building.

1) $2 latte Wednesday at ERC: Such a delicious and reviving treat for a measly two Washingtons. 2) July 4: America, fuck yeah! 3) Suddenly, your own mistakes don’t seem so bad.

Matt Carey Movies Editor Gripes

e d i t o r ’ s n o t e by Tommy Trafton


Likes & Gripes

tuesday 14

This issue already marks buzz’s third cover story concerning wheels, gears and handlebars in less than a year. I would apologize for the redundancy and buzz’s seemed obsession with bikes, but I think it’s perfectly appropriate considering the community’s infatuation with making CU as bike-friendly as possible. I’ve never really had a chance to try out CU’s bike lanes until this summer. My freshman year of college, I brought my bike from home, but it was stolen

within the first month I was here. Sophomore year, I bought a bike from a bike hobbyist deep in Urbana who collected parts and refurbished old bikes that have been “found” around town (I can’t help think that mine was one of them). That bike didn’t last long either, though, as it quickly broke beyond repair. After learning the consequences of not locking your bike up properly or maintaining it, I purchased a new bike this summer and have finally gotten a chance to enjoy the convenience of moving around town easily and quickly. The bike lanes can take you pretty much anywhere (although I would appreciate if some didn’t abandon you by

dead-ending at busy intersections), and there are a large handful of organizations and shops to help with repairs or to just go out on a bike ride with. This weekend should be exciting, then, for bikers around town as the Tour de Champaign hits up the downtown streets this Saturday. With bikers coming from all over the country to take part and the downtown Streetfest to look forward to after the exhausting race, it sounds like an exciting summer Saturday. Let’s just hope the streets don’t get too clogged with traffic from all the blockedup roads. For more information on the Tour de Champaign, make sure to turn to page 5.

1) Mario Kart players: Any of you knuckleheads who think you’re good at Mario Kart, you haven’t faced the best. You must beat my roommate Zach and I to prove your worth. We play Mario Kart 64, not that Double Dash or Wii shit. 2) Transformers 2: No, I haven’t seen it, but shame on all of you who did. The first one was one of my least favorite movies ever. And saying that you only saw it for Megan Fox is not an excuse — unless Internet porn shut down and I didn’t hear about it. 3) Twitter: I’m not trying to be hip or pretentious, I just honestly don’t understand what the point of it is.

JUL 09 – JUL 15 09

food & drink

Is It Ripe?

Explosions of Love


Food not Bombs aims to bring CU residents together with free food by Jeanine Russel


ood not Bombs does not aim to fight violence, hunger or waste from mass production. It does not aim to fight anything at all. Instead, its goal is to lead by example, demonstrating what it would like to see out of Champaign-Urbana. Every Saturday from 5 to 7 p.m. on the corner of State and University in West Side Park, Food not Bombs serves free vegetarian food to anyone who is hungry, wants to meet people, wants to play their instruments or wants to just simply spend time in the park on summer evenings. “It’s a grassroots movement about community and free food in a public space,” said Chris Watson, one of the volunteers helping with Food not Bombs. “It’s a subtle form of protest. It’s not dominating. It’s inclusive and celebratory.” The event is a picnic run entirely by volunteers with the common goal to feed and bring people together. The food comes from Common Ground Food Co-op and is different every week. Everything served is vegetarian or vegan because it gives the opportunity for anyone to participate. “Everyone can eat vegetables,” said Kenny Bishop, another volunteer with Food not Bombs. In past Saturdays, Food not Bombs has served spaghetti with peanut sauce and tofu, stir-fry, salads, bagels and bread, fresh fruits and vegetables. “It’s a creative process. There aren’t recipes. We just make it up as we go,” Watson said. “You make up the meal based on food you have. You don’t know what you’re going to get that week.”

“We are reclaiming and reusing food that would otherwise be wasted,” Bishop said. “Grocery stores throw away instead of giving away. We’re using that to feed people.” Beyond feeding people, Food not Bombs hopes to create a friendly space for people to go. It hopes to be more than just free food — it aims to demonstrate a new lifestyle, a way of meeting people and sharing the park. “You can’t go to the park and sit in on someone’s picnic,” Watson said. “When people go to the park, they’re in their own bubble, and we want to bring bubbles together.” Food not Bombs is a public space where friends can meet new people in a safe environment. “It’s a protest against the boredom and isolation of everyday life,” Bishop said. “It’s an open invitation for people to join us,” Watson said. Anyone is welcome to help cook on Fridays at 3 p.m. at the Catholic Worker House, to serve food on Saturdays and to come eat or entertain. Musicians and artists are welcome to share their talents as well. “Whatever people want to bring that’s nonviolent and nondisruptive” is welcome, Watson said. “We’re just going to the park and having a picnic with friends,” Watson said. “Some we don’t know yet, and some we do.” A man enjoying a vegetarian meal prepared by Food not Bombs volunteers at West Side Park. Photo by Ross Topol.

Come celebrate Food not Bombs every Saturday from 5 to 7p.m. at West Side Park.

Beer Gardens of CU

by Katie Blair Although typically classified as a berry, eggplant is often cooked like a vegetable. Its bitter taste and spongy texture make it a great substitute for meat in vegetarian dishes such as eggplant parmesan, or it can simply be used as a side dish for a meal. Eggplant routinely appears in Indian food, stews or dips, such as baba ghanouj. Eggplant ripens best in late summer, between August and October. It’s shaped like an oversized purple pear with a smooth texture like a tomato. When looking for ripe eggplants in the store or on the vine, make sure they are firm and heavy. If buying from a store, unwrap the plastic covering to let the eggplant breathe or else it will spoil quicker. If picking youself, then the connecting vine should be a healthy bright green. Eggplant can be bought before it completely matures — some recipes call for baby-sized eggplant. To tell if an eggplant is ripe enough, press one with your thumb and if the indent pops back in place, the fruit is ripe. Bruising indicates the inside of the eggplant is spoiled. They are sensitive to temperature and bruising, so store carefully. Here are some local places to grab your next meal pleaser: County Market: Organic and fresh, eggplant sells here for $1.19/lb. Strawberry Fields: The eggplant supply here fluctuates. Lately, they’ve been missing, but when present, they sell for $1.99/lb. Common Ground Food Co-op: The produce here also varies day to day. When in stock, eggplant sells for $1.79/lb. Tomahnous Farm: They locally grow and sell their eggplant at Urbana’s Farmers’ Market every Saturday.

Joe’s Brewery

by Michell Eloy Located on Fifth Street and nestled in-between Green and John streets, Joe’s Brewery has been a staple of campus nightlife since its opening 18 years ago. Once famous for the brewing of its own beers, Joe’s has more recently become legendary for its dance floor. However, the bar boasts a sizeable and accommodating beer garden, one that should not be written off quickly. Open daily until 2 a.m., the garden is surrounded by a partly wood, partly metal fence, giving it a slightly secluded feeling. The garden boasts a seating area for 64 yet allows for a total outdoor capacity of 453 persons, which provides a lively atmosphere as the night carries on into the wee hours. Patrons have the option of simply sitting back and enjoying a drink or ordering off of the menu (before 8 p.m.), which is full of American favorites such as hamburgers, sandwiches and salads. Illini pride is not lacking in the outdoor seating area either, as the majority of the garden is covered by a bright orange tent. Though the canopy is practical in the sense that it accounts for all types of weather, it traps noise, making the garden one of the noisier ones in the CU area. Local musicians JUL 09 – JUL 15 09

How does their garden grow? Beer Selection Atmosphere

Joe’s has all the staples but not a lot of variety. Joe’s always draws a diverse and energized crowd.

Noise Level

The blaring music inside coupled with throngs of students who flock here at night make this one of CU’s noisier beer gardens.


It’s decked out in orange and blue, so you definitely feel you’re at a campus bar, which could be off-setting for local residents.


During dining hours, the staff is eager to please, but once the bar gets crowded, garden sitters can fall to the wayside.


If you’re looking to bust a move all night long, you’d be hardpressed to beat Joe’s. But if you want to share a good beer and relaxing conversation with some friends, look elsewhere.

also frequent the beer garden, something that often adds a calmer atmosphere to the otherwise loud, high-energy bar. In terms of beer selection, Joe’s is neither a front-runner nor a bar to be ignored. With 11 beers

on tap, including Miller, Coors and Guinness, and anther 24 bottled, their selection is by no means lacking. However, it doesn’t offer much for the beer enthusiast or someone looking to experiment with extremely diverse libations.

buzz file photo. come and get it


Get in Gear Downtown Champaign to welcome CU’s inaugural Tour de Champaign by Sabrina Santucci

Illustration by Jorge Bustamante.


f you’re heading into downtown Champaign this weekend, plan to see an unusual scene: hundreds of bikes flying around corners at more than 30 miles per hour, vendors, live music and, of course, crowds of spectators. This Saturday marks the first annual Tour de Champaign, or more festively named, the Rockin’ Champaign Downtown Cycling Grand Prix. The event, staged by the Champaign Downtown Association, begins at 9 a.m. on Saturday, July 11. The bike course runs from Main and Church streets, proceeds


to Walnut Street, then continues to University Avenue and ends on Randolph Street. A total of eight races will be held as part of the event, each varying in skill level, distance and time. Certain areas surrounding the course will be blocked from traffic, giving spectators a place to picnic while watching the race. In order to make this event happen, the CDA worked with Mark Swartzendruber, a competitive cyclist, to organize the event. It will be the first cycling race to hit Champaign in a decade.

“Being a racer back in the late ’90s, Champaign was a stop on the national circuit,” explained Swartzendruber, who said he is laboring to get Champaign back on the map as a destination for competitive cyclists. “I wanted to bring these types of races back to Champaign, basically as a legacy. It’s a sense of loyalty and appreciation of Champaign as a hometown.” Swartzendruber also worked with other members of Champaign’s Wild Card Cycling team and the Verizon Wireless Cycling team, both consisting of many members who are planning on participating in the event. Entry fees vary, ranging from free for the kids’ race to $35 to compete in the men’s pro race. Prizes are as large as $3,000 for the professional races. The Tour is welcoming cyclists from around the nation and plans on hosting about 300 to 500 participants in total. “It’s really intense competition,” said Mary Dennis, executive director of the CDA, speaking of the high-caliber bikers who are expected at the event. The Tour recently catapulted into an all-weekend affair, joining the July Downtown Streetfest, which will take place from 7 p.m. to midnight on Walnut and Chester streets. Vendors will line the streets Saturday while rock groups One Night Stand and Mister Sister entertain the crowds. And for those looking to make bicycle races a weekend-long activity, the Tour will head to campus for the South Campus Research Park Bike Race and Celebration on Sunday, July 12. Dennis said with all of these events, she hopes the Tour will bring crowds into the downtown area, offering Champaign residents an exciting event and a chance to explore the area. “As a spectator, you can pretty much be there and just watch bikes go by all day long,” Dennis said. “It’s really exciting. The location of the Tour is also beneficial to the CDA; it definitely boosts the area’s publicity and creates business for the local merchants.”

Second downtown streetfest of the summer to happen this Saturday by Alexandra Morgan This Saturday, July 11, the Champaign Park District, City of Champaign and Champaign Downtown Association will all join up to host another Downtown Street Festival. The fest will take place from 7 p.m. until midnight on the corner of Walnut and Chester streets. The festival is the second Streetfest of three to take place this summer. The cost is free, and there is no entry age. The festivals, which feature live music, have been a popular addition to this summer’s community events. The live music at this month’s Streetfest will feature the bands Mister Sister and One Night Stand. Mister Sister is a classic rock band fronted by four female vocalists. One Night Stand is a band that performs original music along with country and classic rock hits. The Tour de Champaign bike races will be taking place all day prior to this Saturday’s Street Festival. Get to Streetfest early to grab a great spot by the stage. Good live music, combined with great food and a large crowd, are sure to make an enjoyable night for all. Go online to for more info.

Let it out Brad Vonck Student

by Eric Gordon

buzz: What is one of the central messages you give to women in the zine? Markel: You have to make yourself happy, and only you can make that truly happen. buzz: How would you rank other local publications against your zine? Markel: The zine is pretty new but not in response to anything else. It’s just a new perspective. I still read and enjoy a number of publications around the area. buzz: What were some of the challenges in working on the zine and working toward self-publishing your work? Markel: The zine was something I wanted to do for a long time. I started to hit a roadblock and was worried whether I was headed in the right direction with the work and that it was what I wanted for my work. buzz: What is one thing that the Internet can offer your writing?


Do you think Champaign-Urbana is a bike-friendly area?

A Q&A with Lindsey Markel

Lindsey Markel has been a longtime member of the CU area. Markel previously worked as the editorial assistant for the psychology department at the University, eventually turning her focus online, becoming one of the first editors for the online magazine Smile Politely. Now Markel is working on her own e-zine, You Are Among Friends. The zine, and complementing audio Podcast, are aimed at women ages 10 to 30 and focus on empowering, advising and educating women in the community and anyone else who happens upon it. This week, buzz sat down with Markel to find out a little more about her new zine.


Markel: There are a number of connections that you see. People can share things on Facebook or link them on a number of Web sites. Mothers will sometimes even e-mail some of my work to their daughters. buzz: What’s next for You Are Among Friends? Markel: I’m currently working on a book-length version and have been receiving donations online. The donations come from readers both locally and out of state. So far, the zine has raised about $750 in less than two months. Many of these donations were from people I didn’t know but were readers of my work. Word of my work has spread so fast. buzz: What advice can you give to aspiring writers who may doubt themselves? Markel: I would say to not be afraid of it. You should challenge yourself to do something that you haven’t done before.

“Not necessarily because the bikers and walkers do not get along that well.”

Hannah Kifle Student “Yes, this area was made to be for bikes, especially with the bike paths everywhere.”

Anca Macinca Student “I give it a B+ because it could be better ... but still very good, especially when compared to other places.”

JUL 09 – JUL 15 09

art Happy Days

Downtown Champaign promotes art, local businesses on “Happy Tuesdays”

by Daryl McCurdy


he first “Happy Tuesday” took place in downtown Champaign June 30. The idea for Happy Tuesdays stemmed from the Champaign Downtown Association’s goal of getting more people downtown and providing them the best possible experience. “How do we get more quality art and culture downtown on a regular basis?” asked manager of Cakes on Walnut and president of CDA Trisha Bates. One of the main goals of Happy Tuesdays is to make that happen. After receiving some marketing funds from the city, CDA intends to promote already existing and new events. “We want to encourage each business to do what makes them special,” Bates explained. “It’s an organic process, where we take what is already going on downtown, because there is a lot happening, and each week we hope to pick up some more.” So every Tuesday this summer, businesses in downtown Champaign will be offering special

promotions, live art and music and something for visitors of all ages. The first Happy Tuesday kicked off in partnership with 40 North and focused on outdoor performance. Joe Asselin played harmonica on the corner of Main and Neil, and Jason Bentley played guitar and sang at Taylor Street Plaza. Sarah Haas, Jacqueline Kinsman and Anna Marks performed improvisational dance inspired by the architecture and the people of downtown Champaign at One Main Plaza. 40 North also organized 10-minute dance parties at Neil and Main. Art was also found inside many of downtown Champaign’s businesses. Wind, Water & Light Gallery hosted Susan Harbourt, who gave a jewelry-making demo. Cakes on Walnut partnered with The Pottery Place and had cupcakeshaped pottery to paint. “You can come and eat a cupcake with your friends and paint pottery,” Bates said.

Rather new to downtown Champaign, indi go artist coop will also be participating in Happy Tuesdays. Bates and CDA are open for more suggestions for Happy Tuesdays. They have the funds and the platforms to promote art and cultural events in downtown Champaign and are enthusiastic to do so, Bates said. “You can have an influence on Happy Tuesdays,” Bates Improv Comedy Workshop by Steve DeFrisco at Mike ’n’ Molly’s as part of said. “We would love to Happy Tuesdays. Photo by Rebekah Nelson. have people coming to us and wanting to do things.” ings during Happy Tuesdays, as well as workshops Happy Tuesdays are an opportunity for artists, and performances. Bates also described her goal musicians and performers to find a venue as well to have more family-related art events. Future Happy Tuesdays will see a henna artist as for people to come downtown and have a good time. Bates described the possibility for art open- and balloon animals.

Dancing from Durham, N.C. buzz writer’s encounter with renowned choreographer Ohad Naharin at the American Dance Festival by Alyssa Schoeneman Despite ever-increasing fame and proximity to the limelight, Gossip Girl, Perez Hilton and excessive media have nothing on modern dance choreographer Ohad Naharin. Naharin, the artistic director of Israel’s Batsheva Dance Company, is the 2009 recipient of the Samuel H. Scripps/American Dance Festival Award for $50,000. It is hard to imagine that anyone is able to escape the wrath of a society that emulates and exploits the rich and famous, a society focused on scandal and overindulgence. Yet Naharin has found a way. “I have nothing to hide. I don’t have any secrets,” he said.

Naharin lives life transparently in an effort to maintain his privacy, but he is not apt to surrender facts about himself. He said he feels that facts are like gossip; they are pieces of trivia that satiate the public’s thirst for insight into his personal life. It was for this reason that Naharin’s biography in the program read, “Nothing is permanent” for several years. Naharin said he believes in the ephemeral nature of dance, and he does not document his work on video. He said he does not know how to make a video documentation of his work while maintaining the integrity of the live performance. “I don’t want to reduce or dilute the work just to bring it to a larger audience,” he said.

Naharin’s commitment to his principles is inspiring, especially considering the recent explosion of dance in the United States media. Naharin strongly values understatement, a term that he defines as “doing something almost invisible but believing in it.” He tells his dancers to think about movement the way they think about controlling volume when they listen to a piece of music. The volume of a piece is determined by the number of people in the room, the size of the space and the proximity of the listener to the source, to name a few factors. In the same way, it is necessary for dancers to make situational

adjustments to the volume, or the intensity, of their movement. “You don’t need to make something bigger, accessible, exaggerated to connect to the audience,” Naharin said. “If you do something to the degree where the most sensitive person can recognize it, that’s enough.” Naharin’s philosophies about life emerge as he discusses dance. He said that no matter how hard people work, there will always be a limit to what they can do. “We will never fly, but there are an endless amount of possibilities within the limitations,” he said. “It is important to visit as many of those possibilities as possible.”







A site for new students hosted by students. Ask the questions you are afraid to ask in Orientation, we won’t judge.

119 W. Main St. • 217.328.4405 • TUESDAY-SATURDAY 8AM-8PM • SUNDAY 8AM-2PM JUL 09 – JUL 15 09

come and get it

movies & tv

Bank on It


Public Enemies

Michael Mann Films

by Matt Carey

by Syd Slobodnik

Thief (1981): Photo used with permission from Universal Pictures.

As a Michael Mann fan, it has always seemed weird to me that studios have released his last three films during the summer movie season. While his films usually feature a fair amount of action, they aren’t like the Transformers or Terminators of the world. His films feature in-depth character studies and an understated look at the world they live in. Public Enemies doesn’t exactly break new ground for Mann, but it’s still an enjoyable thrill ride with great performances from Johnny Depp and Marion Cotillard. Depp stars as John Dillinger, the famous gangster who robbed banks in the 1930s. After a nine-year stint in prison, Dillinger is back robbing banks all over Chicago, with the public loving him since he only takes the bank’s money and not the customers’. Eventually, the FBI starts on Dillinger’s trail, sending in Melvin Purvis (Christian Bale) to head the investigation. Depp plays Dillinger as a professional of his craft — smart, silent and willing to kill if need be. His eyes are constantly shifting, looking for any sign of police. A few times, I was reminded of Robert De Niro’s performance in Mann’s 1995 film, Heat. Depp’s work here will no doubt garner an Oscar nomination. Another possible nomination could be coming for Cotillard, who plays Dillinger’s faithful girlfriend, Billie Frechette. Cotillard doesn’t have many scenes in the middle, but her work during the end is phenomenal and adds emotional weight to the film.

Like Collateral and Miami Vice before it, this film is shot largely on HD handheld cameras. This might annoy some viewers, but I found it added depth to the film, almost making it feel like you’re watching the home videos of Dillinger. For example, during the gun fights, the camera will follow Dillinger as he ducks for cover from gunshots, then will move back up as he returns fire. It made me feel as if I was actually alongside Dillinger during his last few months alive. What hurts this film is the run time. Not that the film is too long — it’s too short. Some of the characters (the FBI agents in particular) are short-changed to the point that when they do have a pivotal scene, it’s a bit jarring since they haven’t spoken until nearly two hours into the film. I have a feeling Mann was forced to cut down parts of the film a bit, which will probably be included on the DVD version. With Public Enemies, Mann rebounds from the much-hated Miami Vice (though I’m one of the few people who enjoyed it) to provide a meticulously researched look at crime in the 1930s. Like all of Mann’s films, it’s well-paced, the action scenes are executed beautifully and the climax is pulse-pounding. It’s worth noting that this is Mann’s most action-packed film by far, with bank robberies and shoot-outs happening consistently throughout. Public Enemies isn’t Mann’s best work — that honor still goes to Heat — but it is a well-done action film for the adult crowd.


JCVD (2008)

gem Gritty, harsh, intimate and even poignant — these words don’t seem to fit the typical fare produced by the so-called “Muscles from Brussels,� JeanClaude Van Damme. Yet in his latest film, each and every one of those words applies. JCVD is the sort of film that die-hard fans of Van Damme saw because they were hoping for hilarity mixed with the kind of face-kicking fun seen in Timecop, Bloodsport and even Street Fighter. What they got, however, was something far more subtle and genuine. Plucking events from Van Damme’s own life, including his bitter custody battle, JCVD is part autobiography. The line between Van Damme as a character in this film and Van Damme the man is blurred to the point where it’s hard to tell what’s acting and what isn’t. This aspect, however, is part of what makes JCVD so utterly mesmerizing. In a lengthy scene delivered brilliantly through direct address, Van Damme delivers a heartfelt monologue in which he appears most sympathetic and honest, describing his career in real life through the fiction of the film. Perhaps more startling than the film’s depiction of Van Damme is the manner in which it’s filmed. In

by Sarah Gorr what must have been a deliberate choice, director Mabrouk El Mechri gives JCVD a muted grittiness in perfect contrast to the glossy Hollywood look that the bulk of Van Damme’s films have. It is as if El Mechri is saying cinematically, “That’s not the real Van Damme; this is.� The film shifts perspectives forward and backward through time in a way that urges the audience to view Van Damme from all sides and all angles. It shows the media and the public’s obsession with his persona and the seeming impossibility of his escape from it. Now past his prime, Van Damme says in his direct address to the audience, “This movie is for me. There we are, you and me. You [the audience] made my dream come true. I asked for it. I promised you something in return, and I haven’t delivered yet. You win, I lose.� When literally faced with Van Damme on-screen, it’s hard to take these words as scripted; they feel a little too true. #/50/. Those hoping for JCVD to be deliciously bad are  $2).+ sure to be disappointed, but to anyone else, it’s better WITHPURCHASE OFOZBAGOFBUTTERYPOPCORN to expect the unexpected and witness Jean-Claude Van Damme playing the role of a lifetime: himself. /:


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Chicago native writer/director Michael Mann’s debut theatrical film Thief concerns a tough professional ex-con caught between the Chicago mob and corrupt police. This flashy crime film features James Caan as Frank, the career criminal looking to land the biggest score of his life. His fellow thieves are played with realistic flair by Willie Nelson, Robert Prosky and James Belushi. Tuesday Weld is Frank’s girlfriend. Donald Thorin’s photography and Tangerine Dream’s contagious film score makes this a gritty crime film with lots of character.


Heat (1995): A classic crime tale of two strong opposites of the crime world: the crafty professional thief and the methodically tough L.A. cop playing a game of cat and mouse. This is the first actual pairing of The Godfather II co-stars Robert De Niro and Al Pacino, and they both create unforgettable tough guys who have a lot in common. This stylishly directed, slightly overlong film never lets up on the tension and action. From a stunning armored car robbery to numerous shoot-outs, De Niro and Pacino are in top form. Val Kilmer and Jon Voight co-star. This film is regarded by many as one of the finest crime films of the ’90s.

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(1999): This is the true story of the 60 Minutes investigation of the tobacco industry’s unethical practices and the whistleblower whose entire life and wellbeing were at stake. Al Pacino stars as producer Lowell Bergman, and Russell Crowe is the insider Dr. Jeffrey Wigand in this compelling exploration into the world of corporate power and a television network’s wish to get the story right and tell the truth. Veteran character actor Christopher Plummer is remarkable as the legendary Mike Wallace. The film received seven Oscar nominations, and Mann personally received two for best director and best screenwriter.



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JUL 09 – JUL 15 09

music Beyond 2.0 Locals Take Care look forward to recording process by Amanda Shively

Used with permission from Take Care.


he four men of Take Care appear anxious for their already in-progress return to the Champaign-Urbana music scene. Not to say that they necessarily ever disappeared, but after more than a year away working through other projects and “being domestic,” (at least in Luke Bergkoetter’s case), the itch to play again has brought about the beginnings of Take Care, CU’s latest musical four-piece. Upon meeting at downtown Champaign’s Café Luna, band members Mark Wyman, Luke Bergkoetter, Nick Foreman and

Kyle Scott talked future plans, shared inspirations and addressed the unavoidable fireflies question. With three-fourths of the band being former members of CU favorites fireflies, Wyman laughed when asked how to avoid the “fireflies 2.0” label. “We’re kinda selling ourselves on that!” he said. “But really, [we] spent a long time in fireflies, and [we] were happy with everything besides the breaking up part. The fact that we share three members is really the only [musical] similarity. We go about everything


differently with Take Care. The two are really not comparable.” Though the band cites everything from Godspeed You! Black Emperor and Black Dice to Cap’n Jazz, the Appleseed Cast and Neutral Milk Hotel as influences, Bergkoetter was quick to note that “[we] don’t sound anything like that. We may just share similar approaches to music as those bands.” These likewise approaches can next be heard live Thursday, July 30 at the Canopy Club when

Take Care opens for California-based indie rockers Sherwood. More than playing a few local shows here and there, however, the group is looking forward to the recording process, collectively citing that past experience will be a factor in creating a more efficient process. “We’re going to work on recording as we go. [We] know from the past that it’s best to work at whatever pace it takes as long as we don’t burn out,” Wyman said. “Our main focus is to make music that is enjoyable for everyone ... and have fun in the process.”

Online Streaming


Find Your Way To The Best Entertainment In CU


gs Blo LGBT JUL 09 – JUL 15 09

Arts come and get it

buzz  music   

Catching Up With ... Hot Cops

Quick Pick Album Reviews

by buzz Music Staff

by Mark Sieckman Local powerpop heroes Hot Cops are celebrating the release of their newest self-released EP, Everyone’s an Animal, with a killer bill including New Ruins, Chemicals and Scurvine this Saturday, July 11 at Cowboy Monkey. buzz’s Mark Sieckman took a few minutes to chat with Hot Cops frontman Nik Allen to talk powerpop, the CU scene and the inevitable Michael Jackson. buzz: Hot Cops has been around the CU scene in various incarnations for about three years. How do you think you have changed or matured over that time? Nik Allen: I think we all came out of different backgrounds musically with mixtures of powerpop, shoegaze and Midwestern post-rock. We’re a pastiche of different genres. We had been playing in different groups like Green Light Go for a while now, and we molded ourselves into a combination of the elements of different bands — a little shoegaze and a little indie rock. buzz: What can the audience expect from your new EP, Everyone’s an Animal? Nik Allen: The EP is fairly similar to what we do live. The live show has more energy that we aspire to put in the recording, but the recording captures our spirits and our intensity of sound more so than what the sound guy does any given night. The EP is more of a vision of what we aim to sound like — a lot noisier and a lot louder. buzz: What can the audience expect from the show at Cowboy Monkey this Saturday?

Nik Allen: The audience can expect a very warm vibe and the sense of community that we see in Urbana. It’s not a competition with bands vying for supremacy. It’s going to be lovey-dovey between us and New Ruins and Chemicals and Scurvine. They’re all great bands, and we really get along. It will be the ideal of what this scene is. buzz: Questions about Michael Jackson are kind of unavoidable these days, so how did Hot Cops react to Michael Jackson’s passing? Do you guys have any favorite tunes? Nik Allen: We all love Michael Jackson. As a whole, we’re still dumbfounded. We haven’t figured out a press release to put out to state just how we feel, but we’re still mourning as a whole. I think we’re just as tore up about Billy Mays, so we don’t know how to react. buzz: Finally, there have been various reports about the name Hot Cops. Do you care to comment on where the name comes from? Nik Allen: The reason we are Hot Cops is because when we first played together, we wanted to be called The Police, but we heard another band already took that name. Hot Cops was the next best thing, and that is our official statement about it. Whether or not it is a reference to Arrested Development we will leave to the people for their own assumptions. Find out for yourselves all about CU’s finest Hot Cops with New Ruins, Chemicals and Scurvine this Saturday at Cowboy Monkey. Their latest release, Everyone’s an Animal, was recorded in the same studio that New Ruins created We Make Our Own Bad Luck, so the EP — and their live performance — will surely carry the same monumental weight.

They Sound Pretty, Oh So Pretty

stick with or skip: STICK WITH

Artist: Taking Back Sunday Album: New Again Label: Warner Bros. Records Inc. To put it simply, this record brings nothing new to the table. TBS has stayed true to their music style and lyrics, but recently, their music can only be described as “fine” or even just “OK.” New Again does not come close to comparing to Tell All Your Friends (2002), the first (and best) album by the band. Almost all of the songs on New Again sound the same, as the band that once set itself apart by overlapping catchy lines disappointingly left all efforts out on this record. So if you enjoy Taking Back Sunday, stick to their early stuff. Don’t let New Again ruin your love for the awesomely emo lyrics and catchy tunes they produced in 2002. — Stephanie Pavlovcik

Current cast recording of West Side Story is masterpiece of sound by Jeff Nelson Not since the original 1957 Broadway cast has another stage cast recorded West Side Story — with even Jerome Robbins’ extraordinary 1980 revival going unrecorded. Now, however, a new West Side Story is on CD. It is the Arthur Laurents (author of West Side Story) directed production, and his outstanding stage production makes for an outstanding CD. It reached the top spot on Billboard’s Soundtrack and Cast Album list for two weeks in June and remains the best-selling live cast CD — and for goood reason. The crystal clear digital sound is a masterpiece of sound engineering. Even in this age of digital sound, the clarity of this recording is in a class by itself. This clarity enhances the superlative voices of the two leads, Matt Cavenaugh (Tony) and Josefina Scaglione (Maria), whose Sinatra-like voices truly benefit

from the superior engineering. But no voice, with even a moment of solo time, does any harm to the experience of relearning West Side Story. The recording session was supervised by the current stage director Arthur Laurents and lyricist Stephen Sondheim, and it expertly combines the drama of the stage with the magnificence of the live musical experience. Listen to “I Feel Pretty” and “A Boy Like That” sung in Spanish and you realize the correctness of director Laurents’ decisions for this production. Translations and full lyrics are on the CD sleeve, and Barnes and Noble markets an enhanced version of the album with three extra cuts that include Josefina Scaglione singing “I Feel Pretty” in English. When she sings it, it is a song with real credibility. This is the cast CD of the year and a wonderful way to discover (or rediscover) West Side Story.


Artist: Miami Horror Album: Bravado EP Label: Virgin/EMI Considering themselves love, disco, beach punk and horror rolled up together into a sinister Italo-gloved fist, Australia’s Miami Horror reaches out to punch through a bleak ’80s continuum to inflict listeners with some serious nostalgia. Rife with power chords and rich synths, the retro-heavy melodies exude a serious edge dramaticizing and romanticizing the highs and lows of the fast ’80s lifestyle. With such highly instrumental and tight songs, talent in variances allows “Make You Mine” to remain dance-happy with bouncing bass and the more anthemic “Bellevue” and foreboding “Illumination” to be something classically recognizable from a time of yore. — Kevin Hsia


Artist: Various (Compilation) Album: Valerie and Friends Label: Endless Summer Recordings Released in May 2009, the French-based Valerie collective has essentially thrown the biggest stars of their label together onto a mega-CD of driving melodic and retro grooves. Boasting 17 tracks from the most lush of independent artists across Europe and the rest of the world, this league of extraordinary artists have assembled Minitel Rose, Anoraak, Jupiter, DVAS, College, Keenhouse, Electric Youth, Russ Chimes, Maethelvin, The Outrunners, Futurecop!, Moulinex, SymbolOne, Xinobi, Narctrax, Loose Shus and Steve Moore. This panoply of a global culture across various niches of the musical community beautifully interprets a new movement of the temporal youth — in exalting the nostalgic and harnessing the sounds of the future. — Kevin Hsia

JUL 09 – JUL 15 09

V ino-metry

front & center

Expand your knowledge of wine at one of these CU locations


ine can be an intimidating venture. Given its traditionally pretentious connotations plus its own exclusive vocabulary that includes words like varietal, terroir and vintage, choosing and enjoying a wine can become an overwhelming task. Yet wine used to be the drink of the masses, being served on the tables of patricians as well as plebians in ancient cultures. So why is there this mysterious aura around the vinaceous drink these days? Whatever the reason, there is no shortage of information available from local viticulturists and other area wine outlets to help out the CU’s wine-clueless and wine-curious.


by Margaret Carrigan

Thad Morrow, head chef at Bacaro, pours wine at Krannert’s Uncorked. Photo by Claire Keating

One of the best opportunities to train your palate is by frequenting Krannert’s weekly Uncorked. Offered every Thursday from 5 to 7 p.m., restaurants and wine suppliers from all over the area come with a few of their favorite wines for visitors to sample for free. The event always includes an informational sheet on which the name of the wines offered are typed, along with a blurb about each wine’s region and characteristics and a few food-pairing suggestions. Also in Urbana, The Corkscrew prides itself on having a knowledgeable staff that’s willing to answer any question thrown their way. While there are no structured classes, the Corkscrew does offers wine tasting every Friday night and Saturday evening. Patrons pay about $10 and are offered a selection of wines chosen by the staff. Staff members are also on hand to answer questions about the wines being offered.

JUL 09 – JUL 15 09

Downtown Champaign

In downtown Champaign alone, there are ample opportunities to sample wines and pick up a few pointers on what to look for. At Radio Maria, owner Sharon Spears said that the restaurant occasionally offers wine tastings. Most recently, they hosted a wine dinner in which, for a flat fee, guests were served a multi-course meal. Each course was specially paired with a specific wine to complement the dishes’ flavors, helping diners to discern what kind of wines work with what foods and spices. “It went over well,” Spears said. “We’ll definitely be scheduling some for the near future.” Furthermore, Mondays are 25 percent off any bottle of wine, and Tuesdays are half-price any glass of wine, allowing visitors to try the wide array of the restaurant’s wines and find their favorites for nearly the same price as enjoying campus bar drink specials. Bacaro Wine Bar and Lounge, also in downtown Champaign, hosts periodic wine tastings as well as half-price wines on Sunday nights. They also have Wednesday night “flight nights” when customers can get three half-sized tasting pours of various select wines from the restaurant’s extensive stores for the price of only one glass.


If you’re really interested in all there is to know about the palatable and gastric aspects of wine and respond well to a more structured setting, Sun Singer Wines, located on Windsor Road in Champaign, has three rotating seminars available. The classes are led by the store’s highly knowledgeable manager, Brian Bowman. For only $20, each Sunday night seminar lasts about two hours and encompasses everything one could hope to know about wine. Wine 101, which covers the fundamentals of and etiquette behind wine, demystifies the art of wine enjoyment. The class teaches students everything from the basic terminology of wine to the way wine is produced — even what kind of flavors and characteristics to look for when tasting a wine. Karen McNamer, a wine-buyer for Sun Singer, said that 101 is really designed to help the average person get more comfortable with wine. “We want you to have a knowledge of what you’re ordering so you know what you like and don’t like,” she said. Wine 102 and 103 are a little more in-depth for the very serious student. Wine 102 further explores the practice of tasting wines while helping the student cultivate a more extensive wine vocabulary. Wine 103 explores how to pair wines with food while inspiring students to become adventurous in their own personal pairings.

Outside CU

By traveling farther out, you can find more great places in the surrounding area to go vino-venturing to get an even better grip on wine. Located just more than half an hour from campus, Sleepy Creek Vineyards is a local wine producer located between Champaign and Danville. Their store offers wine tastings every day that they are open. Visitors are free to walk in and ask their knowledgeable staff questions about their wines while sampling. Can’t think of what to ask? Don’t worry — the wine purveyors will explain the key flavor notes in each wine so you know what kind of nuances you are looking for. Sleepy Creek also offers volunteer opportunities for those seeking a more hands-on experience. Known as the Purple Finger Club, members have the chance to be a part of the wine-making process from beginning to end. By helping out during the vineyard’s busy seasons, volunteers have the opportunity to prune and plant the vines in the spring, harvest in the late summer and bottle the final product in the fall. “In Illinois, getting to pick grapes is a pretty rare thing,” said winery owner Joe Taylor. “It’s cool to be able to say you had a hand in making that wine when you come back in and see it on the shelf.” Members can volunteer as much or as little as they want. But the more hours accumulated, the better the benefits. Benefits include 1 percent off of purchases for each hour worked, special access to small batch wines and the opportunity to do and learn more about wine than the vast majority of the population. Alto Vineyards, also located in southern Illinois, has a second tasting room in the immediate area on Duncan Road. They also offer the opportunity for daily wine tastings and tours but with the added benefit of being slightly closer to campus with more flexible hours if time is an issue.


o if you consider yourself curious about this some what daunting libation, explore one of the many outlets CU offers for learning about wine. You’ll go from vino-clueless to vino-conversant in no time.

Wine selection at Alto Vineyards. buzz file photo

come and get it

JUL 09 – JUL 15 09


Complete listing available at

Submit your event to the calendar:

Online: forms available at  •  E-mail: send your notice to  •  Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820  •  Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.


art exhibit

Michael Hoag: Layered live music Images Chip McNeill Jazz Combo Parkland Art Gallery, C, featuring Glenn Wilson 10am; Reception 6-8pm Iron Post, U, 7pm Illinois artist Michael Under the Prairie Stars Hoag brings us complex Summer Music Concert portraits in a colorful Series summer exhibit. Clinton, 7pm game-playing Geovanti’s Live Band Geovanti’s, C, 10pm Thursdays @ the Library: JoBu Games Galore! Canopy Club, U, 10pm Champaign Public Library, C, 4pm, Middle and high dj school students are invited Country Night w/ DJ to bring friends and famiHalfdead and Free Line lies to a night of gaming. Dance Lessons from volunteer Scotty Van Zant Radmaker’s Rock & Roll UC Books to Prisoners Tavern, Tolono, 8pm, No work session Cover Before 8pm Urbana-Champaign InDJ Belly dependent Media Center, Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm U, 2pm Goth Night with DJ Rickkids & families bats, DJ Kannibal and Stitches Dino Camp for Kids The Clark Bar, C, 10pm Orpheum Children’s Science Museum, C, karaoke 8:30am, $140-Members, DJ Hollywood Karaoke $150-Non-members, $10 It’ll Do 2, C, 8pm Sibling Discount DJ Bange For children in grades K-2. Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, Forensic Science Camp 8:30pm Orpheum Children’s RockStar Karaoke featur- Science Museum, C, ing Crazy Craig 8:30am, $140-Members, Senator’s Bar & Grill, Sa$150-Non-members, $10 voy, 9pm Sibling Discount ”G”-Force Karaoke For children in grades 3-5. Memphis on Main, C, 9pm Art Heist Rock Star Karaoke featur- Orpheum Children’s Sciing Karaoke Opie ence Museum, C, 1:00pm, Bentley’s Pub, C, 9:30pm $140-Members, $150RockStar Karaoke featur- Non-members ing DJ Switch For children in grades 3-5. Rock’s, C, 10pm Champaign Park District Summer Thrills at Garden stage Hills Illinois Shakespeare Garden Hills Park, C, 8:30pm Festival: A Midsummer’s Movie Night featuring Night Dream Wall-E 8:30pm-10:30pm Ewing Manor, Bloominglgbt ton, 7:30pm Directed by Deb Alley. Live and Let Live GLBT The Full Monty Alcoholics Anonymous The Station Theatre, U, Meeting 8pm, $10 McKinley Presbyterian Church and Foundation, markets C, 6:30pm Historic North First mind/body/ Street Market spirit 3pm Monticello Market on Tarot Card Readings the Square 3pm Carmon’s, C, 5:30pm, $15 JUL 09 – JUL 15 09



Thirteen Thursdays 6pm Every Thursday, WPGU107.1 will be at a different location around campus hosting awesome events and giving away free prizes. Join us the entire summer from 6-8pm every Thursday.

The Full Monty The Station Theatre, U, 8pm, $15 Illinois Shakespeare Festival presents Scapin Ewing Manor, Bloomington, 8pm Directed by Karen Kessler.

FRI, JULY 10 live music Appy Hour & Live Music at Silvercreek Silvercreek, U, 5:30pm Cara Maurizi and Jason Bentley Bentley’s Pub, C, 7pm The Barb Hamilton Band Huber’s West End Store, C, 8pm Sir Spectrum w/ Special Guests Somber Memphis on Main, C, 9pm White Trash Rodeo live at the Rosebowl Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm Monstrosity Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $10 Black N Blue (Dance Rock Show) It’ll Do 2, C, 9pm Kilborn Alley Blues Band Iron Post, U, 9pm Corn Desert Ramblers Po’ Boys, U, 9pm, $4

art exhibit Michael Hoag: Layered Images Parkland Art Gallery, C, 10am


mind/body/ spirit


Illinois Shakespeare Free Acupuncture Clinic Festival: A Midsummer For Veterans and Families Night’s Dream Urbana-Champaign Ewing Manor, BloomingFriends Meeting, U, 6pm ton, 8pm For Veterans and their The Full Monty families. The Station Theatre, U, 8pm, $15

SAT, JULY 11 live music

Dinner w/ Panache Jim Gould Restaurant, C, 5pm Big Bluestem CD Release Party Iron Post, U, 6pm Champaign Park District Downtown Street Festival C, 7pm Late Night @ White Ho w/ Steve Meadows White Horse Inn, C, 7pm Mhondoro Rhythm Success & Zmick Canopy Club, U, 7:30pm, $5 Candy Foster and the Shades of Blue It’ll Do 2, C, 8pm All-Ages Punk Rock Basement Show 700 W. Illinois St., U, 9pm Dead City Dregs, JigGsaw, Augmentor, Clarabelle Sangamon & Royce at Mike ‘n Molly’s Mike ‘n’ Molly’s, C, 9pm Tongue- N- Gruve w/ special guests Sift Memphis on Main, C, 9pm Sugar Prophets Iron Post, U, 9pm

Summer Prairie Skies William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 7pm, Adults $4; Children, Seniors, Students $3 A live-narrated tour of the wonders of tonight’s sky, accompanied by some of the legendary stories of the ancient sky. Find out what constellations and planets are visible tonight and how to find them. Bad Astronomy: Myths & Misconceptions William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 8pm, Adults $4; Children, Seniors, Students $3 Join the “Bad Astronomer” Phil Plait as he takes a critical look at popular myths and misconceptions to show dj audiences how science Country Dancing at can be used to evaluate dj Bradley’s II questionable claims. Dance Pop Bradley’s II, C, 9pm, $5 Chester Street, C, 9pm, kids & families $3 Top 40 Chester Street, C, 9pm, Dino Camp for Kids Saturday Night Throw$3 Orpheum Children’s down featuring DJ Mertz DJs Ian Procell, D.O.M., Science Museum, C, Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm & AMP 8:30am, $140-Members, Kosmo at Soma Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm $150-Non-members, $10 Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm DJ LEGTWO and DJ Belly Sibling Discount DJ Tim Williams Radio Maria, C, 10pm For children in grades K-2. Highdive, C, 10pm, No DJ Delayney Forensic Science Camp Cover for Students Before Highdive, C, 10pm, $5 Orpheum Children’s 11pm; $5 Cover After 11pm Science Museum, C, Radio Salsa w/ DJ Juan dance music 8:30am, $140-Members, Radio Maria, C, 10pm, $5 Salsa Night at Cafe Luna $150-Non-members, $10 karaoke Cafe Luna, C, 8:30pm, $5 Sibling Discount For children in grades 3-5. Dragon Karaoke with karaoke Art Heist Paul Faber RockStar Karaoke featur- Orpheum Children’s Sci- CJ Dane’s, Tolono, 7pm ing Crazy Craig ence Museum, C, 1:00pm, RockStar Karaoke featurSenator’s Bar & Grill, Sa$140-Members, $150ing Matt Fear voy, 9pm Non-members Senator’s Bar & Grill, For children in grades 3-5. Savoy, 9pm

sporting event



art exhibit

Holy Hoops 3-on-3 Basketball Tournament Savoy Recreational Center, Savoy, 8am, $100 Youth boys between 5th and 12th grade can register a team of 4 players to play in this two day, double elimination tournament.

Michael Hoag: Layered Images Parkland Art Gallery, C, 10am

Tour de Champaign 9am, The two days will feature over 15 bike races for all age and skill levels. Race lengths last from 30 minutes to 70 minutes with some of the most highly skilled bikers flying at speeds around 30 MPH.



Brunch w/ Panache Jim Gould Restaurant, C, 10am Music on the Terrace Houlihan’s, C, 11am Irish music every Sunday w/ Emerald Rum Blind Pig Co., The, C, 5pm Live music at Carmon’s Carmon’s Restaurant, C, 5:30pm Surreal Deal live every Sunday

Food Not Bombs West Side Park, C, 5pm Food Not Bombs serves free vegetarian/vegan food every Saturday at West Side Park.

markets Market at the Square Lincoln Square Village, U, 7am

art exhibit Michael Hoag: Layered Images Parkland Art Gallery, C, 10am

recreation Canoeing for Beginners Homer Lake Forest Preserve Environmental Education Center, Homer, 9am, $8/Person Minimum age to participate is 8 years old and an adult must accompany children under 18. Space is limited; registration is required.

2nd Saturday in Downtown Urbana U, 10am, Sidewalk sale, including antiques, collectibles, art and more.

SUN, JULY 12 live music

fundraisers FriendShop Used Book Store Open Champaign Public Library, C, 1:30pm The Library Friends sell used books for $1 or less, plus CDs, videos, and DVDs for $1.50, along with unique gift items.

classes & workshops 40 North presents West African Drum Classes Capoeira Academy, C, 4pm, $12 Students/$15 Adults Per Class West African Dance Classes with Djibril Camara Channing-Murray Foundation, U, 6pm, $10-12, Guests can attend regularly or drop in for single sessions.


Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., live music U, 8pm Free Show w/ The Gold

Patio Party Cowboy Monkey, C, 5pm

Tops Memphis on Main, C, 10pm WEFT Sessions WEFT, C, 10pm

dance music


Country Western Dance Independent Order of Odd Fellows Arthur Lodge 742, C, 5pm, $2

LIX-alicious Chester Street, C, 8pm, $5 80s Night Highdive, C, 10pm


dance music


Dragon Karaoke with Paul Faber CJ Dane’s, Tolono, 7pm

Maniac Mondays Cowboy Monkey, C, 4pm Summer Dance Classes in University YMCA open mic University YMCA, C, volunteer Anything Goes Open Mic 6:15pm, $45 UC Books to Prisoners Night w/ Jeremy Harper Beginner Waltz/Fox Trot/ work session Memphis on Main, C, Swing/Cha-Cha/Polka: Urbana-Champaign In8:30pm Mondays 6:15-7:15pm; Addependent Media Center, vanced Swing/Cha-Cha: stage U, 2pm Mondays 7:15-8:15pm Illinois Shakespeare Fesmind/body/ karaoke tival presents Scapin spirit Ewing Manor, Blooming- MCJS Karaoke ”Finding Your Passion” ton, 7:30pm American Legion Post 24, Workshop C, 7:30pm School of Metaphysics, U, sporting event RockStar Karaoke featur1pm, $15 Advance Reser- Tour de Champaign ing Matt Fear vation, $20 At Door 8:45am Mike ‘n’ Molly’s, C, 10pm come and get it

buzz  calendar   13 stage Monday Night Improv Courtyard Cafe - Illini Union, U, 8pm

6:15pm, $45 Tango: Tuesdays 6:157:15pm; Salsa/Merengue: Tuesdays 7:15-8:15pm



Board Game Night w/ DJ Casanova Radio Maria, C, 10:30pm

”G”-Force Karaoke Memphis on Main, C, 9pm MCJS Karaoke American Legion Post 24, literary C, 7:30pm Kick Back and Read RockStar Karaoke featurChampaign Public Library, ing Crazy Craig C, 7pm Geo’s, U, 9pm Paul Faber hosts Dragon kids & families Karaoke Critter Camp The Clark Bar, C, 9pm Orpheum Children’s SciRockStar Karaoke featurence Museum, C, 8:30am, ing DJ Switch $140-Members, $150Bentley’s Pub, C, 9:30pm Non-members, $10 Sibling Discount, Two camps will open mic be hosted, 1 for children Open Mic Night w/ Mike in grades K-2 and one for Ingram children in grades 3-5. Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm O Baby! Champaign Public Library, game-playing C, 9:45am, 10:30am Boltini T-N-T w/ Ben Gorski Drop in any Monday for Boltini Lounge, C, 7pm twenty minutes of lap WPGU presents Trivia bouncing, nursery rhymes, Dinner hosted by Fishing music activities, easy liswith Dynamite tening, and play time. Canopy Club, U, 7pm ”Get Buggy” Camp volunteer Orpheum Children’s Science Museum, C, 1:00pm, UC Books to Prisoners $120-Members, $130-Non- work session members, For Grades 3-5. Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, classes & U, 7pm

classes & workshops Ballroom Dance Classes University YMCA, C, 6:15pm, $45

WEDS, JULY 15 live music Jim Pugh and Glenn Wilson Iron Post, U, 5pm Donnie Heitler solo piano Great Impasta, U, 6pm Champaign/Urbana Park District Neighborhood Nights Summer Concert Series 6:30pm Dave Cooper and Joni Dreyer Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 8pm Caleb Cook Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm

open mic


Michael Hoag: Layered Images Parkland Art Gallery, C, 10am

Country Dancing at Bradley’s II Bradley’s II, C, 9pm, $5 Hillbilly Humpday w/ DJ Halfdead Radmaker’s Rock & Roll Tavern, Tolono, 8pm DJ LEGTWO Boltini Lounge, C, 9pm Weekly Top 40 Chester Street, C, 9pm Physical Challenge: An workshops Indie Rock Dance Party Ballroom Dance Classes kids & families Canopy Club, U, 9pm University YMCA, C, ”Get Buggy” Camp I Love the 90’s 6:15pm, $45, Beginning Orpheum Children’s Sci- Soma Ultralounge, C, ballroom class includes ence Museum, C, 1:00pm, 10pm Waltz, Fox trot, swing, $120-Members, $130dance music Cha Cha and polka. Other Non-members classes: tango, salsa, me- For Grades 3-5. Pre-regis- Tango Night w/ DJ Joe rengue. The cost is $45 tration required. Grohens for 5 sessions, and free Tuesday Twos Cowboy Monkey, C, 8pm Sunday practices. Champaign Public Library, Swing Dance MELD (Monday Evening C, 9:45am, 10:30am, Illini Union, U, 9:30pm Life Drawing) Group 11:15am, Enjoy stories, Boneyard Pottery, C, songs, and movement ac- concert 7pm, $7 tivities for two-year-olds. U of I Summer Band Goodnight Storyshop Concert on the Quad TUES, JULY 14 Champaign Public Library, The Quad, U, 7pm C, 6:30pm, For ages 2 to 5.

live music

Jim Pugh and Glenn Wilson Iron Post, U, 6pm The Piano Man Canopy Club, U, 9pm Corn Desert Ramblers Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm

dance music Summer Dance Classes in University YMCA University YMCA, C,

RockStar Karaoke featuring Crazy Craig Geovanti’s, C, 10pm ”G” Force Karaoke/DJ every Wednesday at Fat City Fat City Bar & Grill, C, 10pm

Open mic at Green St. Green St. Cafe, C, 8pm Open-Mic Night Radio Maria, C, 10:30pm

stage Open Stage Comedy Night Memphis on Main, C, 8:30pm, $2

markets Market on Main Mahomet Community Center, Mahomet, 3pm

art exhibit

kids & families Critter Camp Orpheum Children’s Science Museum, C, 8:30am, $140-Members, $150-Non-Members, $10 Sibling Discount Two camps will be hosted, one for children in grades K-2 and one for children in grades 3-5. ”Get Buggy” Camp Orpheum Children’s Science Museum, C, 1pm, $120-Members, $130Non-members For Grades 3-5.

d o i n ’ i t w e l l by Jo Sanger & Ross Wantland

The G(uy)-Spot: Loving Your Prostate When we think of the prostate, we may think about prostate health or even prostate cancer. However, the prostate plays a major role in sexual arousal, ejaculation and orgasm. In fact, the male prostate gland is analogous to the Skene’s glands that make up the female G-spot, and men who have orgasms with prostate stimulation describe intense sensations similar to women with G-spot stimulation. So “Doin’ It Well” felt that it was about time to explore and learn more about the mysterious P-spot.

In addition to using prostate stimulation to achieve orgasm, some men practice “prostate milking,” a practice of stroking the prostate to release seminal fluid. Some people believe this has health benefits to the prostate, whereas others practice it as part of orgasm denial and BDSM power play. After the seminal fluids are released (a.k.a. milked), it may take a while for the individual to achieve orgasm again, even though no orgasm has occurred.

Prostate Facts

Boy Toy

The prostate is a walnut-sized gland surrounding the urethra just underneath the bladder and in front of the rectum. During ejaculation, the male prostate secretes an alkaline fluid along with the sperm and seminal fluid, neutralizing the vagina’s acidity, increasing sperm motility and life span. During sex, the prostate gland stores up this fluid, and its smooth muscles help to eject it during ejaculation. (Note: Prostate fluid is not the same as pre-cum, which is produced in the Cowper’s glands, small glands at the base of the penis.) The prostate is also even more directly connected to sexual function. Bundles of nerves on either side of the prostate control the relaxation of muscles, allowing blood to fill up the penis and create an erection. When the prostate is manually stimulated, the receiver may get an erection (even during non-sexual contact, such as a prostate exam) and experience sexual arousal.

When finding a toy for prostate stimulation, be sure to do your research. All anal toys should have a flared base to keep them from being sucked into the rectum. Additionally, the toy should have a slight curve to place pressure on the prostate. One highly recommended toy is the Aneros prostate massager, but there are many plugs, dildos and vibrators designed especially for tickling your P-spot. Find which one is right for you.

Tickling Your P-Spot

Take Care of Your P-Spot For many reasons, many men are reluctant to think about — let alone talk to their doctor about! — their prostate. But one in six men will have prostate cancer during their lifetime. If you are older than 50, it is important to have a manual prostate exam yearly. During a prostate exam, the doctor will insert a finger into the rectum to manually feel the back of the prostate for enlargement or lumps. If you notice any of the following symptoms, it is important to talk to your medical provider: Frequent need to urinate Difficulty stopping or starting urine stream Painful or burning urination Difficulty achieving an erection Blood in urine or semen Painful ejaculation If you have one or more of these symptoms, it does not necessarily mean that you have prostate disease, but it is important to have it checked out. Remember, a healthy prostate means a healthy sex life!

Because the prostate is an internal gland, the most direct way to stimulate it is through the rectal wall. The prostate may also be indirectly stimulated by applying pressure on the perineum, the area between the base of the penis and the anus. Fingers or receptive anal sex are common ways to stimulate the prostate, but there are also a number of toys and vibrators designed especially for prostate pleasure. As with any anal play, you may want to use the classes & bathroom beforehand to empty the rectum. Also, workshops you may want to take a bath or shower (alone or Swing Dance Lessons with your partner) to clean the outside of the anus University Place Christian and just inside the rectum. Use a soapy finger or Church, C, 6:30pm, $25 washcloth. If you plan to use your hands, make sure The Swing Society at the your fingernails are smooth so as not to scratch the U of I is offering six-week rectum. Or for safer play, wear a latex glove. Using lesson sets of basic East plenty of lube, insert your finger slowly into the anus. karaoke Coast Swing and Lindy By pressing on the front of the rectum (toward the More on the Male G-spot lgbt RockStar Karaoke featur- Hop. penis), you will feel a small bump through the rectal Rainbow Coffeehouse ing DJ Switch Mastery of Consciouswall. With your finger, you can make a “come here” Wesley-United Methodist The Corner Tavern, Mon- ness: How to Become a motion and stroke the prostate gently. This may give Prostate Cancer Church & Wesley Founda- ticello, 8pm Stronger Force for Good the receiver a feeling of fullness in the rectum similar tion, U, 6:30pm The Legendary Karaoke in the World to having to use the bathroom. By experimenting Night w/The Outlaw School of Metaphysics, U, with different pressure and strokes (back and forth, Morin, Jack. Anal Pleasure & Health. mind/body/ White Horse Inn, C, 9pm 7:30pm, $20 Per Week circular, etc.) on the prostate, the receiver will be able spirit Wednesday Night to note different sensations and find out what’s most Check us out next week as we talk reproductive Tarot Card Readings Karaoke with Paul Faber’s support groups pleasurable for him. During receptive anal sex, the justice. penetrating partner can also talk with the receiver Carmon’s Restaurant, C, Dragon Productions Coming Out Support 5:30pm, $15 La Gourmandise Bistro on Group about angles and positions that give him the best Main, U, 9pm Illini Union, U, 7pm prostate stimulation. Send Jo and Ross your questions to

Sex 411:

JUL 09 – JUL 15 09


Place an Ad: 217 - 337 - 8337

Deadline: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition. Index Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.


2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.


Billed rate: 42¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 36¢/word

Photo Sellers

30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

Garage Sales

30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads

• 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $20 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $10 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

JUL 09 – JUL 15 09





410 APARTMENTS Furnished

510 S. MATTIS, C.


Ag/AnSci Get great experience with pets and animal nutrition as a part time/full time sales assoc. for Prairieland Feeds. Knowledge of pets/horses helpful. Some heavy lifting required. Ask for a manager. 352-2232.

Available Aug. 2009. Beautiful luxury 1230 sq.ft. 2 or 3 bedrooms townhomes in great location with 2.5 baths, washer/dryers, ceramic tile, ceiling fans, garages. 2 Bdrm $890/mo, 3 Bdrm $1050. To furnish $50/mo. additional. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873


606 W. Healey. C.

Students needed to inspect campus apartments in August. $9/hour. Stop by Roland Realty, 313 E. Green (4th and Green), second floor.

Aug. 2009. 1 bdrm. apts. close to campus. Carpet, electric heat, window a/c, free parking. Rents from $395. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

Illini Media recommends readers take care when responding to classified ads, especially ads asking to send money. Illini Media does not knowingly publish fraudulent advertisements and requests readers report difficulties to the classified department by calling 217-337-8337.



BARTENDING! $300/day potential, no experience necessary, training provided. 1-800-965-6520x109.






QUIET TOWNHOUSE 2 BR quiet townhouse. 1000 SqFt, C/A, D/W, Grad neighbors, busline. Now/ Fall. $700- 750 furn. 3981998

1405-1407 W. KIRBY, C.

609 W. MAIN, U. August 2009. 2 bdrm apts-Furnished $450/mo. 1 bdrm apts Furnished $425/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, Laundry, Call for showing times BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873

808 S. LINCOLN, U Aug 2009. Classic Building-across from Jimmy John's on Lincoln Ave. Hardwood Floors, Laundry, Call for showing times. 1 BR + Sun Room $550/mo (UF), 1 BR + Den $550/mo (UF), 2 BR $490 (F) Parking $50/mo BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873

Available Now Single rooms for rent. Clean, kitchen and laundry facilities, close to campus, located on busline. $260-$275/month. Utilities included. High-speed wireless internet. 367-4824

Efficiencies at $405. 1 BR at $505. 2 BR at $605. 406 E. Stoughton and 407 S. State St. Champaign. Call 766-3008 for more information.


1 & 3 Bedroom Apartments Some utilities included, free parking, responsible landlord Chris 684-2226

Courtyard on randolph < 713 S. randolph > Now LeasiNg for august 2009





Healey Court Apartments 307-309 Healey Court, C Fall 2009. Behind FU Bar. 2 bedrooms. Parking, laundry, and value pricing. $695/ mo. Office at 309 S. First. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182


906 S. Oak, C 3 (2 BR with Study) & 4 (3 BR with Study) Bedroom Furnished Apartments For Fall 2009. Laundry in each apartment. No Pets. One 9.5 Month Lease Available $840-1140 Steve Frerichs 369-1182


506 E. Stoughton, C. For August 2009. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Office at 309 S. First THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

207 E. Green (2nd and Green)

• Free Internet • 1 ½ baths • 3 story townhouses

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 907 S. Second (2nd and Chalmers)

The Best Deal In Town

Atrium Apartments

Now under new management

aFully furnished 1400 sq. ft. 4 bedroom/4 bath All Utilities Included

Studio and 1 bdrm apts 1 block to illini 22 bus route Full use of Roland Pool Great location Parking available


aFitness Center, computer lab, wireless internet, indoor pool, game room, hot tub, laundry facilites, courtyard

1 Bedroom

aExcellent roommate matching service aOn-site management aLocally owned

901 W. Springfield, U $ 395-540 911 W. Springfield, U $ 540-585 1004 W. Springfield, U $ 480

2 Bedroom 111 S. Lincoln, U $ 740 For Info:

2-3-4 BR quiet townhouse. 10001500 SqFt, C/A, D/W, Grad neighbors, busline. July/ Fall. $700-$950 398-1998



4 bedroom apts

911 W. Springfield, Urbana



1007 S. FIRST Aug 2009. Near First & Gregory. 2 bdrm apts from $495/mo. Window A/C, Carpet, Laundry. Parking included. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

(217) 344-3008

BEST VALUE CAMPUS 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 BR. $395 2 BR. $580 3 BR. $750 4 BR. $855 Campus. 367-6626. August 2009

August 2009. Attractive Colonial building on busline. Large 2 bdrm corner apts approximately 740 sq. ft. $440/mo, remodled $440/mo. Interior 2 bdrm apts. from $420/mo, Remodled $440/mo. $50/mo to furnish. Central A/C, carpet, laundry, parking avail. Call for a showing time. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

August 2009. Huge 1 bdrm apts. Window A/C, Parking $40/mo. To furnish $50/mo additional. Rents from $410/mo to $475/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873


Atrium Apartments 1306 N. Lincoln Ave, Urbana 217-328-5122


5 per Discounts bedroom. for gro of four. ups

*Summer Leases Available 5/15–8/13 $900 • 6/1–8/13 $750


Furnished/Unfurnished 2& 3 bdrms. Near campus & downtownfrom $636/mo. Includes direct TV, water, trash, parking, laundry facility, seasonal pool, all apts. have balconies

901-905-909 S. First (1st & Daniel) 1 bdrm & studio apts


• Most utilities included • At Roland Pool • On 22 bus line

Give us a call 217-351-8900



C h e c k u s o u t o n l i n e w w w. r o l a n d - r e a l t y. c o m come and get it

buzzâ&#x20AC; â&#x20AC; classifieds â&#x20AC; â&#x20AC; 15








808 S. Oak, C. 805 S. Locust, C. 102 S. Lincoln, C.

111 S. Busey ELEGANT MODERN 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 3 story, August ENGINEERING CAMPUS TOWNHOUSE 217-337-8852

Central Air, New Kitchen Only one left $1275 398-1998

Washer/Dryer Free Internet


John Street Apartments 58 E. John, C Studio, two and three bedrooms Dishwashers, center courtyard, onsite laundry, central air, parking, value pricing. 2 Bed ($675) 3 Bed ($875) THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182



Aug 2009. Studio apts at First & Green. Wall A/C units, laundry. From $305/mo to $325/mo. Parking $35/ mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

Aug 2009. Near Green & Lincoln. 2 bdrm apts from $495/mo. Window A/C, Laundry. Parking $45/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

106 Daniel For August 2009. 1 bedroom, $390/ mo. Parking, laundry, value pricing. OfďŹ ce at 309 S. First THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

August 2009

706 S. First 1007 S. First 611 W. Green 802 W. Green 404 W. High 609 W. Main

1 bedroom 2 bedrooms 2 bedrooms 1 bedroom 2 bedrooms 2 bedroom Apts. 1 bedrooms 907 W. Stoughton 2 bedrooms 706 S. Walnut 1 bedrooms 1901 Karen Ct. 2 bedrooms 706 S. Locust 2 bedrooms 101 Busey/102 Lincoln 2 bedrooms 102 Gregory 2 bedrooms 702 Western 1 bedroom

Was $430 Was $595 Was $845 Was $560 Was $695 to $735 Was $515 Was $590 Was $570 Was $510 Was $530 Was $600 Was $535 Was $535 Was $425 to $495

Contact us for the best deals on Campus.


Now $375 Now $495 Now $745 Now $500 Now $650 to $695 Now $450 Now $425 Now $525 Now $450 Now $495 Now $525 Now $495 Now $495 Now $400 to $445

Aug 2009. Close to Illini Union. 2 bdrms $495/mo, Carpet, Laundry. Parking $45/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-173

1108 S. Lincoln, U August 2009. Classic building close to Jimmy John's on Lincoln Ave. Hardwood Floors, Laundry. EfďŹ ciencies- furnished rents from $355 to $395/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

1107 S. EUCLID, C Aug 2009. 1 bdrms near Armory, IMPE, & Snack Bar. Window A/C, laundry, rents from $365/mo to $375/ mo. Parking $35/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873


805 S. LINCOLN, U.


Aug 2009. Ceiling fans, Window A/C. 1 bdrms from $570/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873


56 & 58 E. Healey, Champaign

Rent includes: HEAT, SEWER & TRASH Secure building with intercom On-site Laundry Balcony / Patio Parking Available $40/mo Location: First St. between Green & Springfield (217) 377-8850


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304 E. Clark, C. Castle Apartments

111 E. Chalmers, C. August 2009, Studio and 1 bedrooms. Furniture, off-street parking, laundry. Value pricing. OfďŹ ce at 309 S. First. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

3 blocks to Engineering Quad and supermarket. 4 BR $1120. 3 BR $850. New C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit. 384-1099


307 & 310 E. WHITE 307 & 309 CLARK

August 2009. 1 bedroom units conveniently located close to campus. Rent from $410/mo. Central A/C, dishwashers, balconies. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

NOW & Aug 2009 Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Behind County Market. Starting from $350/mo. OfďŹ ce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

THE 311 E. WHITE, GEORGIAN C. Aug 2009. Large efďŹ ciencies 1005 S. SIXTH, Avail close to Beckman Center. From $325/mo. Parking $35/mo. Window C. A/C, carpet. Call for showing times. Aug 2009. Best located 1 bdrms on U of I Campus. Next to UI Library. 1 bdrms from $450 to $550/mo. Laundry, Window A/C, Carpet. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873


404 W. HIGH, U Aug 2009. 1 bdrm & 2 bdrm apts from $650/mo to $695/mo. Close to Urbana Library, Downtown. Free Parking, Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873


One Bedroom Residences Downtown Champaign A complete regeneration of living space in downtown Champaign. These artistically inspired residences are fully furnished and feature IKEA furniture and cabinetry, hardwood ďŹ&#x201A;oors, video security, off street parking, and laundry on site. KARMA is designed to be a fusion of art and living in a contemporary urban environment. Barr Real Estate, Inc. 217-356-1873

604 E. WHITE Security Entrance Fall 2009, Large studio, 1 bedroom, Furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. OfďŹ ce at 309 S. First. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

Bargain 1 BR

Heart of Campus 906 W. Springfield Ave., U $485/month, parking avail. The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 217-384-8001

1 Br on busline $505 - $520 Includes pkg, water, heat & trash

The Weiner Companies, LTD. 217-384-8001

Keeping EFFICIENCIES: 1 BEDROOMS: 610 W. Elm 1308 Grandview 705 W. Elm



2 BEDROOMS: 604 1/2 W. Elm 704 W. Western 705 W. Elm


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607 W. Springfield, C

1 Bedroom Apartments $470 - 535




105 E. Green, C

101 N. BUSEY & 102 N. LINCOLN, U.

102 N. GREGORY, U.




HOUSES: 705 W. SpringďŹ eld, 7 Bedroom

)(. **.$(,-,Â&#x203A;nnn%_lej`e^\iXgkj%Zfd

Apartments for Fall 2009! Ask the Tenant Union about us!

Studios Clark St. Studios, C 1 Bedroom 203 E. Stoughton, C Busey Ct., U The Village, C 2 Bedrooms 1001 W. Clark, C

3 Bedrooms 505 S. Fifth St. 4 Bedrooms 601 W. Green, C (Completely Remodeled)

207 S. Fifth, C

(10-month lease)

501 E. Healey, C 5 Bedrooms 501 E. Healey

The JSM VIP Program gives our residents exclusive discounts at local businesses.

Check out our website for more information: (217) 359-6108 Ĺ&#x203A;Ĺ&#x2013;Ĺ&#x203A;ȹǯȹÂ&#x2019;Ä&#x17E;Â&#x2018;ČąÂ?Â&#x203A;Â&#x17D;Â&#x17D;Â?Ç°ČąÂ&#x2018;Â&#x160;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2122;Â&#x160;Â&#x2019;Â?Â&#x2014;Ç°Čą ČąĹ&#x153;Ĺ&#x2014;Ĺ&#x17E;Ĺ&#x2DC;Ĺ&#x2013;

JUL 09 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; JUL 15 09

16  classifieds  buzz








503-505-508 E. White

508, 510, & 512 E. STOUGHTON, C.

Fall 2009. 2 ($750) and 3 ($795) bedrooms. Completely furnished. Parking and laundry available, new kitchens, value pricing. On-site resident manager. Call Justin 618-304-8562. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

August 2009. Huge 1 bdrm plus den and 2 bdrms. Close to Engineering & C/S. A/C, Laundry, Parking $55/ mo. Rent from $555/mo to $760/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

Aug 2009. 1 bdrm apts. From $415/ mo to $445/mo. Laundry, Window A/ C, Parking $45/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

509 E. Clark, C.

5th & HEALEY, C.

Large Efficiency. 217-721-6295. 509eclark.html.

August 2009. The BEST LOCATED EFFICIENCIES & 1 BEDROOMS on campus - period. Here's the best part: Efficiencies $450/mo & 1 bedrooms $550/mo. Parking available at $50/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

THE NEVADAN 903 W. NEVADA, U. We've redefined luxury with these spectacular 2 bedroom units built August 2007 right in the heart of the U of I campus, around the corner from Cafe Paradiso. Wall-mounted flat screen TVs, wine & beer fridge, designer furniture package, W/D, buzzer entry, elevator, covered parking and MUCH MORE!!! Some units have 2 baths! A must-see! Rents from $1250/mo to $1350/mo. Call for showing times! BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873


509 E. White August 2009. Large Studio and 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Office at 309 S. First THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 217-352-3182

503 E. Clark Large efficiencies on campus $396/ mo. (217)840-5134


509 W. MAIN, U

1006 S. 3rd Fall 2009 1 bedroom. Location, Location. Covered parking, laundry, furnished, patios. Pricing. Office at 309 S. First. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

Leasing for Fall ‘09

Choice 1 & 2 Bedrooms for Fall ✦ Laundry facilities, many with washer/dryer in unit. ✦ Dishwasher/Microhood ✦ Balconies ✦ Parking ✦ Intercom entries ✦ 24 hour emergency maintenance ✦ High speed internet access/Ethernet SEE THE DIFFERENCE Mon - Sat (217) 328-3770

Lease a 2 Bedroom/2 Bathroom for Fall ‘09 and Receive $310 OFF your monthly rent for the entire fall semester! PLUS, sign for any style by 7/31/09 and your security deposit is only $310!

602 E. Stoughton, C Fall 2009. Unique 1 ($495) & 2 ($695) bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, value pricing and parking available. Must see! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

1 Bedroom

Great Campus Locations!





Find out more at: 866.631.6004 or


706 S. FIRST, C. Aug 2009. 1/2 blk south of Green.1 bedroom $375/mo. Window A/C. Parking $40/mo. Laundry Facilities. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

711 W. Main

Furnished studio apartments from $435/mo. Ideal campus location, quiet Urbana neighborhood. Call now for showing. Wampler Property Management 905 S. Neil Street, Suite C. Champaign, IL 61820 217-352-1335

802 W. GREEN, U.

604 W. Stoughton, U

Aug 2009. One block from Lincoln Ave. Large units with Central A/C, Patios/ Balconies, laundry. Parking $40/mo. 1 bedroom $500/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

Spacious 2 BR apartment, 2 BA, large kitchen, dishwasher, disposal, patio/balcony, central A/C, W/D in unit available, secured parking available, storage available. Open midAugust. Close to campus, starting at $920. 217-384-1925

611 WEST GREEN, U Aug 2009. 2 Bdrms in Great Location. Hardwood & Ceramic tile, W/D, D/W, Balcony or Patio, Central A/C, Rent $745/mo. Parking $50/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 615 West Kirby CAMPUS MODERN TOWNHOUSE 3-4 bedroom, 3 level, 2 bath, $1, 100-1,400. Fall 09 398-1998

702 W. WESTERN, U August 2009. 1 Bedrooms, Window A/C, Carpet/Tile Floors, Laundry, Parking Available. From $400/mo to $445/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873

706 S. LOCUST, C.

everything you’re looking for.


$475/month Washer/Dryer 104 N. Fifth, C. 217-841-5407

1 BR Furnished. Includes water and parking. Laundry Available. $470/ mo. Smith Apartments (217)384-1925

W W W.BURNHAM310.COM JUL 09 – JUL 15 09

602 E. Clark

Furnished efficiency apartments from $345/mo. Ideal campus location. Call now for showing. Wampler Property Management 905 S. Neil Street, Suite C. Champaign, IL 61820 217-352-1335

610 W. Stoughton, U.

It’s About A Lifestyle. • Indoor + Outdoor Parking • Convenient Grocery • Tanning Beds • Theatre • Fitness Center • Club Room • 10 - foot Ceilings • Modern Kitchens • Cable • Fully Furnished • Oversized Windows • Granite Counter tops • High - Speed Internet


Aug 2009. Window A/C, covered parking $45/mo, laundry. 1 bdrms $395/mo. 2 bdrms $525/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

706 S. WALNUT, U. August 2009. Close to Downtown Urbana, 1 bdrms $510/mo. Central A/C, Laundry. Parking. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

807 to 809 W. ILLINOIS, U Aug 2009. 1 Bdrms corner of Lincoln & Illinois. Window A/C, Laundry, Rent $495/mo. Parking $50/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 906-908 S. Locust St., C. Effic, and 1 bedroom apartments August 2009. Quiet location, large units. Some pet friendly. 906 Locust: Efficiency $425, 1 bedroom $515, 908 Locust: 1 bedrooms $545-575, paid heat/water. Parking for $40/mo. Call for information or appointments. 367-2009 Locust III Apartments

GREAT VALUE 306-308-309 WHITE August 2009. Studios($390), 2($725), and 3($775) bedrooms. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking. Behind County Market. 841-1996 THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

911-1004-901 W. Springfield, Urbana Heart of Eng. Campus ONE Bedrooms $495-$570-$595 344-3008

1005 S. Second Fall 2009 Studio Secured building. Private parking, Laundry on-site. Value pricing from $375. Office at 309 S. First THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

ARBOR APARTMENTS, C. Aug 2009. 1 bdrms at Third & Gregory across from Snack Bar. Window A/C, laundry, rents from $375/mo to $385/mo. Parking $35/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

Available Now Studio, 1, 2, & 3 Bedroom Apartments 217-352-3182


420 APARTMENTS Unfurnished

907 W. STOUGHTON, U Aug 2009. Huge 2 bdrm apt in great location near Engineering. Central A/ C, laundry. From $525/mo. Parking $30/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

APARTMENTS Unfurnished


1 BR upstairs apartment with garage, stove, refrigerator, water, and garbage pickup. $495/month. 217394-2445.

101 W. Park, U. Crystal Lake Park at your doorstep. Large 1BR and study or 2BR from $520/mo (217) 840-5134

115 W. WASHINGTON, U August 2009. 1 bdrms. Window A/C, Laundry. From $360/mo to $495/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873

1901 Karen Ct., C Aug. 2009. 2 bdrm apts in southwest Champaign neighborhood near Windsor Rd & Mattis Ave. 2 bdrms $495/mo. Carpet, central a/c, dishwashers, disposals, laundry in building, gas heat. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873

301 W. GREEN, U Aug 2009. 1 bdrm apts from $505/ mo. Close to Urbana Library and Downtown. Free Parking Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

Live on Golf Course Spacious 2 BR on Savoy/UI golf course. Balcony, garage, on-site laundry. $625/mo. No pets. View our website and call. (217)352-8540


3 BR or 2 BR plus study New kitchen, A/C, pkg, deck/patio Available Fall 2009 @ $695/mo The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 1-217-384-8001

Awesome C-U Properties Spacious 1BR $450+ and 2 BR $500+ Lots of Amenities Newly Remodeled Free Parking Call 637-6000 or 352-4104

Excellent Downtown Urbana Location!!


508 S Mattis, C. Aug 2009. One of Champaign’s finest apartment complexes featuring a beautiful courtyard. 1 bdrm apts. at $475/mo. 2 bdrm apts. at $495/mo. On busline with Central A/C, Carpet, Gas Heat, Laundry facilities, Patios or Balconies, Covered Parking. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 217-356-1873

511- 513 S. ELM, C. Aug. 2009. Corner of W. Green and Elm in quiet attractive building with locked security entrance. Large 2 bdrm. apts. with approximately 770 sq. ft. Free covered parking, laundry in building. Central A/C, Gas Heat, Carpet. On busline. Rent starts at $495/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

512 W. GREEN, C Aug 2009. Double security brick building in excellent location. Large 2 bdrm apts with approx 800 sq. ft. Parking, Central A/C, Carpet, Laundry facilities. On busline. Rents $450/mo. to $475/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

703 W. Church, C. Aug. 2009. Close to downtown in quiet location on busline. 2 bdrms. start at $470/mo. Patio/Balconies, Central A/C, Gas Heat, Carpet, Laundry in Building. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873

800 W. Church, C. Economical 2 bdrms avail August. $490/mo. Convenient central Champaign location near shopping and transportation. View our website and call 217-352-8540

LINKSVIEW, SAVOY Aug 2009. Located on 9th hole of UI Golf Course. 2 bdrm 880 sq.ft. Each apt has own garage, storage unit, 2 balconies/patios, dishwashers, disposals, w/d hookups. From $650/ mo. to $ + parking. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 Near Downtown 1 BR 1 BA. $500 - $750/mo. Available August. Green Street Realty 356-8750 510 W. University

SOUTHWEST PLACE APTS, C. Aug. 2009. Located in SW Champaign near Windsor & Mattis. 2 bdrm Duplexes, Fourplexes, Townhouses and 1 bedrooms. Carpet, gas heat, central a/c. Some units have w/d's in units, w/d hook-ups, or laundry in bldg, garages, dishwashers, disposals, patio/balconies, parking. 1 bdrms from $490/mo. 2 bdrms from $610/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873

2 BR apartments for rent. 202 N. Race St. Close to U of I, upscale security building, W/D, exercise room. On busline, by shopping, library, Crystal Lake Park. $880/month | Available Aug. 1st

217-480-1022 come and get it

buzz  classifieds   17

reasons Need to come to campustown this summer?


Off Campus


Remodeled 1 and 2 BR apartments near downtown Champaign on bus line. Balcony, laundry, A/C, cable TV, water, $450, $575, $600. No pets. 202-2785.



5 Bedroom House on Campus, 4800 sq. ft., 3 bathrooms, Great Value, $1800 367-6626

Large House 4 Bedroom near Engineering Quad. 1.5 Bath, W/D, D/W, parking. Available August. $1400/mo. 217-714-3330 or 217-898-4697

Campus Houses, $290/BR 5 -10 Bedrooms. LCD TV. Free parking and laundry. 367-6626.

3 Bedroom House 812 W. Clark, U. Re-modeled 3 bedroom house, new kitchen, hard wood floors, updated bathroom, washer and dryer, furnished or unfurnished, and FREE PARKING! $810 per month. Available Aug 20th. Advantage Properties C-U 217-344-0394


Great Location! Cozy, charming, 4 bedroom with spacious closets in each, 2 full bath, brand new kitchen, dishwasher, washer/dryer, small yard, attached garage. Close to Parkland and U of I. Small pets welcome $1000/mo. Available August 25th Credit Check required. 217-480-1022 808 W. Green August '09 5 Bedroom, 2 Bath, Furnished Home Ted 217-766-5108

803 S. First, C. 8-9 Person, FREE PARKING 2217-337-8852 107 S. Birch, U August. Excellent 4 br furnished home. 766-5108

Best Deal in Town


1001 S. First, C. $2095 for this 7 BR 3 Full Bath (at First and Chalmers) near ARC available August. Modern kitchen, W/D, free off-street parking, A/C, hardwood floors, fireplace. Stop by or call Roger 734-780-1203 or Tyler 641-919-4059.


WALK TO CAMPUS! Furnished Houses - Fall 2009

Prices Reduced!

Sign a lease before June 1st and recieve $100 cash

2 BR 3 BR 3 BR 3 BR 3 BR

806 W. Clark, U 809 W. Clark, U 810 W. Clark, U 812 W. Clark, U 814 W. Clark, U

$750 $780 $780 $780 $735

*Parking Included*

804 W. Springfield

Up to 7 BR House/ Duplex for FALL Furnished, 3 BAs, Parking, w/d Close to campus $2100 The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 211 E. Green St., Urbana 217-384-8001

Pets Allowed in some houses!



407-1/2 E. White, C. 6 Bedroom House. AC, W/D, Free parking 217-337-8852

803 S. Locust, C. 7 bedroom, 2-1/2 Bath, 2 Kitchens, W/D, FREE PARKING. 217-337-8852

Check out for weekly discounts & activities every Thursday through August 13.

CONDOS/DUPLEXES 520 2 Bedroom Condo. Urbana. Laundry, parking undercover. Balcony. New Carpet. Very quiet. Secure entry. 217-855-3754



AVAILABLE NOW $355, 367-6626

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 Roommate Needed 2 BR, 2 BA Apartment, washer/dryer in unit, fully furnished, walk-in closets. call 815-356-8158 for more information

JUL 09 – JUL 15 09

18  buzz

Free Will Astrology


(March 21-April 19)

Miracle of miracles: A pointless pain in the butt will soon stop bugging you. Meanwhile, an annoying itch in your heart is subsiding, and may even disappear. As a result of these happy developments, you will be able to concentrate on a much more interesting and provocative torment that has been waiting impatiently for your loving attention. Actually, it’s an ancient torment dressed up in a new package. But as before, it’s a torment you’ve never had the right name for. That’s about to change, however. You’re finally ready to find the right name for it, and when you do, you’ll be halfway toward a permanent cure.


(April 20-May 20)

When he was growing up, the father of basketball superstar Pat Riley forced him to play basketball with kids who were stronger and tougher than he was. He said it forged his son into a winner. I can see the principle at work, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. In my efforts to provide you with the parenting you missed as a kid, I’ve always preferred a gentler, more nurturing approach. Nevertheless, the time has come to override my personal desires for the sake of your character-building needs. I recommend that you force yourself to play with grownup kids who’re stronger and tougher than you.


(May 21-June 20)

I wouldn’t get too agitated about the supposed “writing on the wall” if I were you. The handwriting is not God’s, for God’s sake. It’s not even that of a wise elder or young genius. So don’t attribute too much authority to it, please. It’s just the opinion of someone who doesn’t know any more about the ultimate truth than you do. So I suggest you cover it up with black spray paint and then carefully inscribe your own version of the writing on the wall. Reality is especially malleable right now, so the most forcefully expressed prophecy will probably come true.

j o n e s i n ’ 

May 14 - May 20

of good news would be such a tricky trial?



(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)


(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)


(July 23-Aug. 22)


(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Your concentration for dicey assignments, like conquering fear and adversity, is sharp. And I bet you’ll summon a lot of stamina and resourcefulness if you’re pressed to solve a crucial riddle during a turning point in your own personal hero’s journey. On the other hand, humdrum details have the potential to flummox you, especially if they involve tasks you’re not even that interested in or committed to. The moral of the story: Banish absentmindedness by keeping yourself focused on only the most riveting challenges.


(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

The sky will not start falling. But something resembling heavenly tokens may cascade down with such frequency that you’ll be wise to keep looking up a lot. You never know when another piece of the blessed puzzle will come raining down. And it would be a shame to suffer the embarrassment of having your favorable fortune knock you over. Who’d have ever guessed that a shower JUL 09 – JUL 15 09

t o t u r n yo u r

In the Middle Ages, people became adults when they turned seven years old. These days, the threshold is much later. I’m happy about that. In my view, the longer you can hold on to your playful irreverence and innocent lust for life, the better. Still, there is value in taking on the kinds of responsibilities that help you express yourself with grace and power. So I don’t mean to rush you, but it might be time to take a step towards being on the verge of tiptoeing to the brink of preparing to accept more adulthood into your heart. You could make the process less harrowing by hanging out with those rare wise guys and wise girrrls who’ve survived the transition to greater maturity and a higher degree of professionalism with their youthful flair more or less intact.


At the farmer’s market, an escape artist performed in the middle of the street. As a crowd gawked, he had two big strong men tie him up tight in a straitjacket and 50 feet of chain. For the next 20 minutes he shimmied and contorted and bent over backwards. His face grew red and sweaty. There were no Houdini-like magic tricks. There were no puffs of smoke or magic boxes or mirrors or distracting assistants. He rarely spoke as the ordeal progressed, but in the end, after the last of the chains slipped off and he wrestled his way out of the straitjacket, he said simply, “Now I invite all of you to go home and use what I just did as a metaphor for your life.” It was a supremely sexy performance, and I realized maybe it would help you with your current situation.

brain to mush.

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I believe that when you chatter carelessly about a big change that’s in the works, you’re in danger of draining it of some of its potency. So I don’t want to trumpet or gossip about the gift that’s on its way to you. I’ll just mention that it’s coming, and urge you to prepare a clean, well-lit place for it to land. Here’s a hint: It could, among other things, help you convert one of your vulnerabilities into a strength or inspire you to start transforming an area of ignorance into a future source of brilliance.

(June 21-July 22)

  “I’ m G e t t i n g D i z z y ”-- t u r n s

How well are you capitalizing on this year’s unique opportunities, Scorpio? Since we’re midway through 2009, let’s take an inventory. I hope that by now you have at least begun building the power spot or energy source that will serve as your foundation for the coming years. So much the better if it’s more than halfway finished and will be ready for full use by the end of summer or early fall. Remember my promises: Life has been and will continue to be conspiring to get you settled in your ideal home base, supercharge your relationships with your closest allies, and connect you with the resources that will fuel your long-term quest.

I don’t care what you feel this week, as long as you don’t feel nothing. Get inflamed with hunger or justice or sadness or beauty or love, but don’t submit to apathy. Don’t let yourself be shunted into numbness. You can’t afford to be cut off from the source of your secret self, even if it means having to feel like hell for a while. And the odd thing is that if you’re willing to go through hell, you won’t have to go through hell. So to hell with your poker face and neutrality and dispassionate stance. Be a wild thing, not a mild thing.


by Matt Jones

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

The Iliad is an ancient Greek epic poem that describes events near the end of the Trojan War. Most modern critics regard it as a foundation stone of Western literature. In my opinion, though, it’s mostly just a gruesome tale of macho haters who are inflamed with pride, treat women like property, and can’t stop killing each other. I share the perspective of poet Diane di Prima, who once had a dream in which the Iliad was cast as gangsta rap. Now please adopt the style of our critique for use in your own life, Aquarius. What supposedly noble or important situation is actually pretty trivial or clichéd? It’s time for you to tell the truth about the hype.


(Feb. 19-March 20)

“May you live in interesting times.” That old toast is actually a droll curse meant to be heaped upon an enemy. “Interesting” implies rapid change, rampant uncertainty, and constant adjustment. What’s preferable is to live during a boring era when stability reigns. Or so the argument goes. But I reject that line of thought. I celebrate the fact that we’re embroiled in interesting times. I proclaim our struggles to navigate the sharp turns and uphill climbs to be a jubilee of the first degree. What fantastic luck it is to be on the planet when everything mutates! May we be up to the task of bringing heaven down to earth. May we be worthy of the trust the universe is placing in us. Now get out there, Pisces, and enjoy the hell out of the epic and entertaining drama we’re stewarding. This is your time to be a leader and a luminary.

Solution in Classifieds.


1 L.A. County shore area 12 Liqueur found in a grasshopper 14 Traveling that may make you dizzy 15 Tough Tolkien creatures 16 Give off 18 Campus that’s about an hr. from Concord 19 Egg shapes 24 Bottom-of-page abbr. 25 “My Life in Ruins” actress Vardalos 26 Blood cell deficiency that may cause dizziness 27 German river 28 TV recording device 29 “The Phantom of the Opera” novelist Gaston 30 “Design on a Dime” channel 31 Where a Cockney wears his ‘at 32 Clearblue Easy competitor 33 Horse hair 34 Digital camera variety, for short 35 They make you dizzy while redecorating a room 39 “___ dat” (“agreed”) 40 Tall apartment building 41 Arkansas real estate group under scrutiny in the Whitewater investigations 43 Submariner watch maker 44 Napkin spot 47 ___ number on 48 “1234” singer 50 “Born Free” figure 57 Kids’ activity that causes dizziness 58 Difficult situations


1 Diner where “Alice” took place 2 “What ___ supposed to say?” 3 “Dancing With the Stars” judge Goodman 4 Original publisher of the “For Dummies” book series 5 Wager 6 Surgery site located on a Florida campus, for short 7 Sewing gathering 8 Nonunion quartet? 9 Suit to ___ 10 Drink that may make you dizzy 11 Pauses before acting 12 Attractions that may cause dizziness 13 Songwriter-husband of Minnie Riperton and father of “SNL” alum Maya 14 Most healthy 17 “Fringe” star Anna 19 Average poker hand 20 Hitchcock movie that may make you dizzy 21 “I love,” in Latin 22 Lucy of “Kill Bill: Vol. 1” 23 Brass with a reed 26 Start of the Hebrew alphabet 27 “Tsk tsk!” 33 Performing arts library abbr. 36 Stanley Cup org. 37 Uno plus uno plus uno 38 Dose of what you desire 42 Low-cost synthesizer brand 44 Capt.’s inferior 45 Charity orgs., maybe 46 Condition once called “shell shock,” for short 48 Yell on the links 49 Boss Hogg’s deputy 51 Antwerp International Airport’s code on luggage tags 52 Spike TV, formerly 53 Go quickly 54 Multipurpose doc, for short 55 Some shirt sizes: abbr. 56 Actor McKellen of “The Da Vinci Code” come and get it

buzz  19

a n d a n ot h e r t h i n g


by Michael Coulter

Who Will Save Your Soul? Not even the children are spared These days, virtually any idea can become a reality show. Any day now, I’m expecting a preview for a show called Crap Masters. Each week, contestants will eat ungodly amounts of food, and at the end of each show, each of them tries to see who can drop the biggest deuce. The winner gets a trip to the hospital and a chance to continue to the next week’s contest in hopes of finally becoming the next Crap Master. It’s a weird idea, but I think we’ve proved the lengths people will go to in an effort to be temporarily famous and wealthy. Usually the participants play for just that: cash money and the sad temporary fame that usually leads to an unhappy life. It’d be interesting if they played for something really important — like their everlasting soul. Well, slap my ass and call me Lucy, it turns out that is just the kind of show they came up with in Istanbul. It sounds like the beginning of a great joke: An imam, a priest, a rabbi and a Buddhist monk are in a room with 10 atheists. It’s still funny after that, it’s just that it turns out not to be much of a joke. These holy men will attempt to convert these nonbelievers to believe in God, apparently whichever particular version of God happens to strike them during the competition. It’s not as sexy as eating the head off a rat or singing crap-assed pop songs, but it at least seems a little more important. If any of the atheists happens to get converted, their reward will be an all-expenses-paid pilgrimage to a holy site from his or her chosen religion: Mecca for Muslims, Vatican City for Christians, Jerusalem for Jews and Tibet for Buddhists. They don’t have any Scientologists on the panel, but I would guess that if you converted to that, you’d get to go to California and clean Tom Cruise’s pool. With any luck at all, he’ll come out and tell you many different things that don’t make a bit of fucking sense and then end your religious encounter with a high five. Scientology appears to be a lot peppier than many of the “standard” religions. I can only assume that’s why they weren’t included. Of course, many people are already very against this idea of a game show leading to everlasting life. Religious leaders in Turkey find this concept disrespectful and point out that they believe religion is not a good subject for entertainment programs. It’s hard to disagree with them, but on the other hand, why does the business of saving

souls have to be so boring anyway? Virtually every other facet of our lives has been made more enjoyable by TV, so what’s wrong with a little secular upgrade to the business of God? Let’s be honest, fire and brimstone and praying and decency and peace is just not putting the asses in the seats like it used to. It is the job of the religious leader to convert people into religion. It’s their job to make people one with God, whatever that God happens to be. I don’t recall any guidelines being set on how this was to happen. I’m sure it seems unorthodox at the moment. I’m sure hanging on the cross felt a little squirrelly at the time as well. Hell’s bells, if dressing like a clown and pissing your pants on a street corner will make another person one with a higher power, then they should probably be doing that, too. I guess I understand why the religious leaders are scared. They’re protecting their jobs, just like everyone else these days. When you really think about it, though, what’s the harm? Is it terrible if people watch a television show about religion and hear the good and the bad about all religions? It’s supposed to be about faith, and if you truly believe what you’re selling, you should want every last person in the world to hear about your beliefs, no matter what the vehicle. What are they really afraid of? Is their religion super full right now and they can’t take on any more worshippers? For me, it’s weird because I’m equally annoyed by the overly religious and the overly atheist. I’d really just as soon they’d all keep it to themselves, and if someday I find myself interested in kicking my worshipping up a couple of notches, I’ll check out the Yellow Pages and give them a call. If they want to put it on TV, though, whatever. It won’t be God or any religious figure deciding whether it’s a success anyway. The ratings will take care of that. In a way, I suppose it could be sort of interesting. Besides, what’s the harm in a little attempt at changing peoples’ lives a little bit? If nothing else, maybe some of the contestants, and possibly some of the preachers, become better people in the process. Still, I can’t help but think something like that should require at least a tiny amount of privacy. I’ve never really felt things like faith needed to be a spectator sport. I know things don’t seem quite as much fun unless someone is watching, but you’re essentially playing to an audience of one to begin with. I suppose your soul might still be saved ... unless, of course, God happens to be watching a ball game on another channel or maybe even reading a book.

JUL 09 – JUL 15 09

20 buzz







OB/GYN On call 24 hours.

N Contraception

Close to campus.

N STD treatment

Walk-in appointments.

N Abortion services N No parental consent


17 | august 14 | august 28




N Student insurance accepted

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HEALTH PRACTICE 2125 South Neil Street Champaign, IL 61820

come outside and play !

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July 17

6:30p Hathaways 7:30p Funkadesi

August 14 6:30p Ryan Groff 7:30p Kathy Mattea August 28 4p-close Green Fair 5p Post Historic 6p The Duke of Uke 7p High Cotton 8p Hot Buttered Rum Admission is free! At the corner of First Street and St. Maryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Road, Champaign

JUL 09 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; JUL 15 09

come and get it

Buzz Magazine: July 9, 2009  
Buzz Magazine: July 9, 2009  

July 9, 2009