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MY ROOMMATES MAKE FUN OF ME BECAUSE I COUNT WALKING AS EXERCISE | JUNE 3 - 9, 2004 buzz
z buz June 3 - 9, 2004
Music | Arts | Film | Community
Lost in transportation What happens to lost luggage Second Annual
Get The Junk Out Of Your Trunk! DIVA Garage Sale
Mark your calendars! Fri. June 11 & Sat. June 12 8am to 2pm 309 S. New Street Champaign DIVA (Downtown Independent Volunteer Association) is a local non-profit volunteer group.
All proceeds go to a local charity.
One Book One City One Show
A Showcase of Ten Emerging Local Aritsts New Artistic talents with new points of view continually N refresh our freedom of expression. In this EEspecial B S exhibition, ten nationally recognized HAartists and art experts T I B have chosen one H emerging local artist from our I X E community to showcase. This exhibit is curatedby Jenny IS H T Southlynn and co-sponsored by IRPH, and will be open
D E L CE
N A C
Monday throught Friday from 8:3 0 a.m. to 5 :00 p.m.
May 17-August 15th IRPH Humanties Lecture Hall 805 W. Pennysylvania Ave. Urbana
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Czech folk singer in C-U
Iâ€™m Not Scared: an impressive thriller Pg. 16
Enigmas and Intimacies at Verde Pg. 6
WHERE DID THE TURKEY RUN TO? | JUNE 3 - 9, 2004 buzz
TOP OF THE NINTH
MARISSA MONSON EDITOR IN CHIEF
4 Unclaimed baggage lost and found
he Midwest has never really been known for its landscape. The drive down 74 East or West is hardly interesting. No rolling hills, no lush forests, just fields that stretch from one small town to the next. But, we can’t discount the charm in that. The landscape leaves much to be desired, and you wouldn’t think there would be much in the way of outdoor recreation. But, that is simply not true. Last weekend, some friends and I loaded up the car and took a trip across the Indiana border to Turkey Run State Park. Just off the Veedersburg exit, the long stretch of road, before we reached the state park, was lined with flea markets and locals selling everything from firewood to produce to baby clothes. Their business economy centered around two things farming and campers.
For the road-tripping enthusiast, Unclaimed Baggage Center in Scottsboro, Ala., is well worth the stop along the summer highway adventure. The small town in northern Alabama hides the treasures...
6 Enigmas and Intimacies at Verde By day, David Nolan works for the psychosocial rehabilitation unit of Cross Points, a mental health facility. By night, he creates art using a...
Music 8 Czech folk singer brings culture to C-U Singer-Songwriter Lenka Dusilova is one of the Czech Republic’s foremost rising talents. Having already won an Angel Award—the Czech equivalent...
Calendar 10 The Diplomats bring the beat The Beat Kitchen and The Diplomats of Solid Sound will perform at Cowboy Monkey Friday. Both bands bring a powerhouse...
16 Soul Plane takes off There is no reason to hate Soul Plane. The cast is top-notch and the jokes are hilarious from beginning to end. Undoubtedly there will be critics... PHOTO COURTESY OF | LENKA DUSILOVA
Got an opinion?
Volume 2, Number 18
Editor in chief Marissa Monson Art Directors Meaghan Dee & Carol Mudra Copy Chief Chris Ryan Music Jacob Dittmer Art Katie Richardson Film Paul Wagner Community Margo O’Hara Calendar Maggie Dunphy Photography Editor Roderick Gedey Calendar Coordinators Cassie Conner, Erin Scottberg Photography Roderick Gedey Copy Editor Chris Ryan Designers Glenn Cochon, Chris Depa, Jacob Dittmer, Maggie Dunphy Production Manager Theon Smith Sales Manager John Maly Marketing/Distribution Melissa Schleicher, Maria Erickson Publisher Mary Cory
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Copyright Illini Media Company 2004
Turkey Run was beautiful. The rolling field seemed so far away when we were submerged in the flourishing vegetation and running rivers of the state park. I grew up five minutes away from Kickapoo State Park and Kennekuk. I spent countless days exploring the trails and canoeing the river. Though, the landscape of the Midwest can be daunting -– there are many spots in close proximity that are worth the drive. I’ve never been much for camping myself. When I was a kid and my family camped at Kickapoo, my mother and I typically went home when it got dark and slept in our own beds. We weren’t exactly sure how to “rough it”. But, camping is a great summer activity, and there are some really interesting parks to see right in our area. So, take advantage of what the area has to offer.
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buzz JUNE 3 - 9, 2004 | SO ... DOES EATING A BUNCH OF CELERY COUNT AS EXERCISE?
Making it work
Yak-zies chili the new favorite pre-game diet? BY ADAM AND SETH FEIN | 2ON2OUT
he last few weeks have been classic ones for Cubs fans. The “over-worried” Cubs fan, the “doom and gloom” Cubs fan, the “It’s not if, it’s when” Cubs fan. Every time one of our players hits the bag wrong or takes a little too much time in between pitches, we’re wondering if another player might grace the disabled list. Yes, the Cubs have a club record NINE players on the DL. Yes, the “deep” bench is starting to tire and we’ve had enough of pretending that Jose Macias is cool in right field. Yes, we did lose five games in a row this past week. However, we’re going to … relax. We are telling ourselves, “Just relax”—and we prescribe the same to you, loyal reader. Now, let’s make it clear, we have not been relaxed, we just think it’s a good idea. Baseball is a game of what goes around comes around—a game of cycles—yet one of the few games that even Las Vegas odds makers will hardly try and mess with on a daily basis. Here are the facts: The Cubs remain 2 1⁄2 games back. While St. Louis and Houston have all, or almost all, of their would-be playoff rosters hacking and firing away, the Cubs don’t – yet all 3 clubs have a 27-23 record. Not a bad angle for a Cub fan, is it? An interesting note is that we could be writing this SAME column for a Boston College student newspaper right now. Boston is tied for first place, percentage points behind the Yankees, but no Nomar, no Nixon, no Kim, no Burks, no Mueller, yet doing just fine, hanging in there and making it work. It appears the similarities between Boston and Chicago will continue right up through the ‘04 playoffs, lots to think about, but for now we will relax and tell you about a few other things that happened this week. The White Sox stay impressive and stay in first. The NL Central proves 2ON2OUT correct. It is the toughest division in baseball, top to bottom, with not one of its six teams under .500. Ho-kay. So once again, the 2ON2OUT was in attendance at Wrigley. This time, it was Memorial Day with our good friends and visiting Braves-fans-turned-Cub-fans-for-theday. Pre-game intermittent rain leads to staying dry in a local watering hole; a huge bowl of downtown chili at Yak-zies is consumed. Wait, that was a bad idea. Sun peaks through ... Wait. Italian Beef. Sun is out, we stroll into the stadium, the game starts on time. Maddux vs. Oswalt. Yet again, the odds seem to be in favor of the other team (remember last week 2ON2OUT was lucky enough to see Glendon Rusch pitch!). Oswalt had his way with the Cubs in Houston last week, surrendering three hits in seven innings and striking out eight. Maddux, on the other hand, last week had what we like to call a “silver platter curve ball,” and you can figure that one out.
Nice and tasty to hit: 5IP, nine hits, three home runs … not so good. Memorial Day was different. Oswalt was good, Maddux was better. On a day where rain storms came and went every other inning, Maddux did a fine job of producing none of his own. One solo HR is all Maddux would allow. Yes, he was painting like he did in Atlanta (my good Brave-fan friend commented) and I agreed. Alou put the Cubs ahead with a onehanded looking wallop onto Waveland; Cubs 3 Astros 1, top of the ninth. Enter Joe Borowski. Before we talk about what happened next, here’s a quick Joe Borowski file: blue collar, Dad was a fireman, Joe was supposed to be, but instead he played baseball, toiled in the minor leagues for eight to nine years, light bulb goes off and he saves 33 games for the NL Central Division champ Cubs in 2003, new two-year contact in the offseason, high hopes. Joe Borowski—Joe-Bo—a real Chicago-type guy; hard-working, nothing given to him. We love Joe Borowski, but lately he’s made it difficult to love him. With a 7.78 ERA and fresh off a blown save in which he gave up five runs in 2/3 IP against the Pirates on Friday, we really don’t want to see Joe-Bo right now … Damn that chili I had before the game … You see Joe has not pitched well this year. Everyone knows he’s not a playoff-caliber closer, right? Yet, he had converted 22 saves in a row before last Friday’s meltdown. OK, no choice, here we go. First pitch, Hidalgo grounds right back to the mound. Hey, nice! Good start. Second pitch, Jose Vizcaino singles. Oh, no. Third batter, Orlando Palmeiro. This guy kills us! Not this time. Strikeout. Two down, crowd on its feet. Craig Biggio to the plate. He rips the ball into the LF corner. Two on, two out. How ironic. Now what happens next is why Cub fans will be forced to stick with ol’ Joe for awhile. Adam Everett slams a Borowski slowball to LF, right at Alou. Game over. Cubs win. The crowd erupts. Our friends want to slap my hand and congratulate me on the victory, but I’m still thinking, What just happened? We won. That’s good. In that moment, I realized Joe Borowski kind of sums up this last month of injury plagued cub-ball: This guy grinds it out. He makes it work. I slap their hands. I’m sure I won’t be surprised if Borowski blows a few more saves, or even is replaced by Hawkins at some point, but for now, we have to stick with Joe and maybe even relax a little bit. Prior is back in a few days with Merker, Grudzy, Sosa, Woody, and A-Gon (take your time, Alex) not far behind. Ahhh. This weekend, maybe I’ll go with the garden salad before the Pittsburgh game. Nah. The 2ON2OUT are Seth and Adam Fein and would like to denounce Donald Rumsfeld and his policies and any hot dog that isn’t kosher.
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June 18-August 1 The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams A family drama and American classic Opens June 18
Guilty Conscience by Richard Levinson & William Link A fiendish psychological thriller Opens June 19 Parfumerie by Miklos Laszlo A romantic comedy of friends, life, and love Opens June 24 Studio Theatre, $7-$16 A Marvelous Party Summerfest Apprentice/Intern Benefit July 21, 23 $35, $25 with purchase of 2 or more plays The Younger Generation Apprentice/Intern Presentation July 31, 2pm, free
Department of Theatre College of Fine and Applied Arts Krannert Center Ticket Office 217/333-6280 or 800/KCPATIX KrannertCenter.com
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DOESN’T CELERY BURN MORE CALORIES WHILE EATING IT THAN IT CONTAINS? | JUNE 3 - 9, 2004 buzz
2. The Killers Somebody Told Me 3. The Postal Service Such Great Heights
4. stellastarr* My Coco 5. Dashboard Confessional Vindicated
ONLINE 8@8 Make your vote for the
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ARIES (March 21-April 19): There is a Native American nation that white people call the Winnebago. The tribe's members refer to themselves, however, as the Hotcâgara. That's your first metaphorical clue for the week, Aries. You should firmly correct anyone who misnames or misidentifies you. Here's another tip, courtesy of the Hotcâgara. In their origin myth, the great god Earthmaker wakes up to realize he is the only being in the universe. In his abysmal loneliness, he weeps. His tears become the oceans and rivers and lakes of our world. I suspect that the tears you cry in the coming week will also, like Earthmaker's, be profoundly creative.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "Leafing through 'Forbes' or 'Fortune' is like reading the operating manual of a strangely sanctimonious pirate ship," wrote Adam Gopnik in the "New Yorker." My perspective is a little different. I think of Forbes and Fortune as the Bibles of the world's pre-eminent religion, the Holy Orthodox Church of Business As Usual. It's a cult we all have to come to terms with and pay tribute to. What's your relationship with it, Leo? Have you made your peace, or are you in a state of tormented denial? If it's the former, the next three months will be a favorable time to increase your income. If it's the latter, you should consider going on a financial vision quest.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In his book The Gulag Archipelago, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn documents the Soviet Union's oppression of many ethnic groups between 1918 and 1956. "Only one nation would not give in, nor acquire the mental habits of submission," he noted. "These were the Chechens. They never sought to please, to ingratiate themselves with the bosses . . . No one could stop them from living as they did." I don't mean to imply that the manipulative pressures coming to bear on you, Taurus, are anywhere near as severe as what the Chechens experienced. In fact, your version might be rather covert or subtle. But I urge you, nevertheless, to stand up in defense of your independent spirit with a Chechen-like clarity and ferocity.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): [Note: In the spirit of the epic yet mysterious turning point you're at, Virgo, I'm providing you with an extravagant yet cryptic oracle. Read it with the nonlinear side of your brain.] Your escape from the false "home" is imminent. Are you ready to change about 10 percent of your mind about who you really are and 20 percent of your mind about where you truly belong? Regard it as a lucky sign if the prospect of fresh freedom rouses an ancient fear. It means you're close to finding the lost key to the kingdom of childhood, which is also the key to the secret garden of adulthood.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): At this point in your journey, Gemini, your free will is a more important factor in determining your fate than the constraints of karma or the whims of the gods. I won't waste your time, then, predicting what may or may not lie ahead. Instead, I'll invite you to formulate self-fulfilling prophecies about the beautiful future you want to create. To help tease out your brainstorms, I offer you a few of the laws of life articulated by Hawaiian shaman Serge Kahili King: 1. The world is what you think it is. 2. There are no limits; everything is possible. 3. Energy flows where attention goes. 4. Now is the moment of power. 5.To love is to be happy. 6. All power comes from within. CANCER (June 21-July 22): "Dear Dr. Brezsny: Last night I dreamt I was returning home from a horrid date with a man who didn't even know my name. As I came into the living room, the heating duct flew off, and hundreds of rabbits started pouring in. At first I didn't mind, but then they started to attack me. Long story short, I was eaten alive by cute cuddly bunny wabbits. Comments? -Apparently Delicious Moon Child." Dear Moon Child: I think you're dreaming for the entire Cancerian tribe. Here are some possible dream interpretations. 1. You've been too nice for your own good lately. 2. Your extreme, almost manic fertility is leading you to do things that aren't healthy for you. 3.You should minimize contact with anyone who doesn't see you for who you really are, and you shouldn't indulge people who take advantage of your nurturing sweetness.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Using probability theory, mathematician J.E. Littlewood calculated that most people typically experience a miracle at a rate of about one per month. In my experience, that estimate is high. I think the average is closer to one miracle every seven weeks. But you Libras can disregard this speculation completely. The astrological omens suggest that the next four weeks will bring you at least four and as many as nine amazing synchronicities, supernatural interventions, and wondrous mysteries. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): There's a chance that friends or family members will soon behave in a way that drives you crazy. It's also likely, however, that they will connect you to new resources and help you transcend your limitations. A third possibility is that they will do both: hurt you and heal you. However it all shakes out, Scorpio, you can be sure that your closest relationships are about to teach you lessons you didn't even realize you needed to know. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Laughter Yoga (www.laughteryoga.org) is a new international phenomenon that began in India. Practitioners gather together regularly to engage in halfhour sessions of nonstop chuckling, chortling, and cackling.Yogic breathing exercises supplement the therapeutic value. The month of June will be an ideal time for you Sagittarians to launch local branches of these Laughter Clubs. The astrological omens say you'll be running into an extraordinary number of funny things.That's lucky for you, because you have a lot of accumulat-
ed tension to purge, and the best way to do that is by having hilarious experiences. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your guardian angel is in a feisty mood. I wouldn't be surprised if that not-so-imaginary friend played a trick on you in an attempt to get you to lighten up. Nor would I be shocked if that wise old fool woke you up in the middle of the night to teach you a new freedom song. A kick in the butt isn't out of the question; nor is a tickling sensation in your id or an oddly pleasurable itch in your funny bone. No matter what form they take, Capricorn, I urge you to regard these visits from your secret helper as gifts of inspiration. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The Weekly World News sponsored Wear Your Thong To Work Day last March 26.I didn't tell you about it back then because you just weren't ready for it. This week, though, I can justify advising you to stage your very own Wear Your Thong To Work Day. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you'll have a lot more slack than usual whenever you express the raw, uninhibited, risk-taking sides of your nature. If doing the thong thing isn't the way you'd prefer to cash in on this opportunity, choose something that's a more unique reflection of your daring side. How about an Indulge Your Fantasies Day, or a Be Your Future Self Day? PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the Greek myth, Persephone was abducted by Pluto, god of the underworld. He took her to his domain with the intention of making her his queen. Persephone's mother Demeter pleaded with Zeus to intervene, and he agreed to do so, declaring that as long as Persephone had not eaten any food while in the underworld, she had to be returned to her mother. But by then it was too late: Persephone had already nibbled four pomegranate seeds. Eventually, a compromise was reached: Zeus decreed that Persephone must dwell in Pluto's realm for four months of every year, but could live in the sunlight the rest of the time. The moral of the story, as far as you're concerned, Pisces: Don't eat even one bite of that underworld food.
Find or Rob Brezsny’s Free Will ✍ HOMEWORK: make up a new secret. ☎ Astrology freewillastroloTreat it like a treasure that heightens your mysteriousness and enhances your value. Anonymous tips accepted at www.freewillastrology.com.
email@example.com 415.459.7209 P.O. Box 798 San Anselmo, CA 94979
CROSSWORD PUZZLE ACROSS 1 Clumsy lug 4 Bondsman 8 An urn, after an accident 14 Ammo named after its English inventor 16 Enter with care 17 Place to keep leaves 18 Dutch brewery 19 Retract 20 Makes a racket 22 Web-___ 23 Sierra Nevada’s location 25 Spring 27 Organizer of senior field trips 30 Zap 31 Grace period? 32 Holm who played Bilbo Baggins 33 Question concerning an early arrival 36 Raincoat coating 38 Speed 39 California food fishes 41 “___ Blue?” 42 1979 Broadway hit set during the Industrial Revolution
Pioneering automaker Little problems Composer Siegmeister Preeminent, slangily Yields Overlong Lawbreaker with two partners 57 It’s south of the Yucatán 58 Plantation figure 59 Moor growths 60 Locker sites 61 Sharp 46 48 49 50 52 53 54
DOWN 1 Not easily misled 2 “Hospital smell” chemical 3 Cleared 4 Alter 5 Top or bottom 6 Médoc, for one 7 Angle 8 Tentacled marine animals 9 Hanseatic League city 10 Atty. in the firm 11 Add new parts to, say 12 Well-known hymn
13 Chase vehicle?:
Abbr. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Scholar 14 15 One in a suit Doesn’t really hit 17 Teflon and 20 19 Plexiglas 26 Sharp-sighted 22 23 24 animal 27 28 28 Brings in 29 Satchel Paige’s 31 real first name 33 34 35 33 “A grand, ungodly, godlike man” 39 40 38 in fiction 34 Citrus source 41 42 35 Judge of film 48 46 47 37 Holds high 40 Organic fuel 50 51 source 54 53 43 Radio genre 44 Big vehicle’s 58 57 need 60 59 45 1930’s western hero Puzzle by Patrick Berry 47 Woody Allen film set in the 1920’s 53 Onetime 51 Baseballer known as “Stay curious” slogathe Big Cat neer 52 A shopping 55 Creeper mall has lots of these 56 Little masterwork
15 21 23 24
16 18 21 25
43 49 52 55
Gays pay like the rest of us, so give them the same rights BY MICHAEL COULTER | CONTRIBUTING WRITER
JUNE 3 - 9, 2004 | SO UIUC MADE NEWS OF THE WIERD ... FINALLY!
FIRST THING’S FIRST... FREE WILL ASTROLOGY (JUNE 3 - 9)
1. Franz Ferdinand Take Me Out
have a gay friend who I’ll call Bob. (Note: I have rearranged the letters of his name to protect his anonymity). He always says the first time he realized he was gay was in junior high. A group of kids were playing football and he tackled one of his buddies. Bob felt funny and didn’t want to get off of him in a timely manner. That’s when he sort of figured it out. Although he didn’t grow up to be an outstanding football player, I gotta say, he’s one outstanding gay man. My point is, I suppose, that it wasn’t really his decision. He didn’t become gay because he tackled a guy anymore than he became a football player because he tackled a guy. It wasn’t a whim or a deviation. Nothing he did made him gay; he just was. Trust me, kids in junior high may realize they’re gay, but it’s not something they go out looking for. It’s hard enough if you’re straight. Even after school, people can deny being gay their whole life, but let’s be honest, it doesn’t make them any less gay. Some people are born black, some are born Jewish, some disabled and some gay. It just is what it is. That’s why I never quite understand why we treat gay people differently as a matter of law. OK, they may be ostracized in some circles, but that’s true of a lot of things: race, religion, education, whatever. Still, everyone else is treated the same under the law except the gay folks. Them, not really so much. It’s starting to change a little in some states such as Massachusetts, Vermont, California and Hawaii. It will stay the same for awhile in most states. Then, there’s Virginia. They have a legislature that wants to prove “backwards” just isn’t a personality trait there, but also the way they look at social progress. They have a new law, an amendment to the state’s 1997 Affirmation of Marriage Act, which prohibits gay marriages. This little gem bans civil unions, partnership contracts and other “arrangements between persons of the same sex purporting to bestow the privileges or obligations of marriage.” I guess the bumper stickers and shirts are going to have to be changed from “Virginia is for lovers” to “Virginia is for lovers ... so long as your genitalia don’t match.” This law could mess with legal and medical issues, adoption and child custody, bank accounts, insurance, pretty much anything you could imagine, all because they don’t want
some people to have the same rights as others. The adoption thing especially, I never really understood. You adopt orphans, children with no homes. It’s not like if you allow gays to adopt they’re going to be running around the country stealing straight peoples’ babies in the middle of the night. They are giving homes to children who don’t have them. I find it hard to see that as a bad thing. Should gay partners be allowed the same benefits as far as health plans and insurance goes? Geez, I think maybe they should. You know why? Because they work and pay taxes. They will also pay the premiums. They aren’t getting off scot free or living off straight people. They are doing exactly what you’re doing, paying the same amounts for the same coverage. Still, maybe it’s simpler than all this. Maybe it’s not the benefits so much as the way of life. Maybe you just don’t believe in gay marriage. That’s fine, you don’t have to. Hell, I don’t believe Oswald acted alone, I don’t believe anything Dick Cheney says and I don’t believe in pork rinds without beer. However, I don’t think we should deny healthcare or children to anyone who feels differently. That’s really the difference. I really wonder if it even comes down to beliefs. I think it just may be more of a meanness. Sense and decency toward other people may be hard to come by down there. So, for all of you folks in Virginia, let’s take another approach. I’ll put in words you can understand. Why should those gay bastards get off so easy? Us straight people have to deal with marriage, divorce, alimony, staying together for the kids, uncomfortable family gatherings and an astonishing lack of oral pleasure. If I were you, I’d be damned if I let the gays miss that part of life. Make ‘em suffer just like every one else. Make those bastards decide whether or not to pull the plug on their dying partner. Force ‘em to go to PTA meetings. Let them try and find the money for a college education. See if those fruits and lezzies can pool enough money together each month to pay a mortgage. Put them together for 20 years and see if they can still find a way to love each other. If they’re any worse at it than the rest of us, then go ahead and pass your little laws. If they succeed at it about as well as everyone else, then suck it up and act like you’ve got a little bit of sense down there. It’ll be a pleasant change for the rest of America.
Michael Coulter is a videographer, comedian and creator of the weekly email column “The Sporting Life.”
News of the weird Bright ideas – Among the secret British military plans recently revealed from classified documents: (1) a huge landmine to be planted during World War II on the German plains (to prevent the Soviet army from overreaching), to be kept at a warm, detonatable temperature by the body heat of thousands of live chickens underground (according to Britain’s National Archives in April), and (2) a post-World War II plan disclosed in May to equip pigeons as suicide divebombers carrying explosives and biological agents to a targeted area. (The military said its research showed that homing pigeons could be tricked via electromagnetic fields
into sensing that their “home” was actually the target area, but pigeon experts say it is more likely the pigeons would have returned to dive-bomb Britain.) – At the University of Illinois at UrbanaChampaign’s “Sex Out Loud” Health Awareness Fair in March, the Feminist Majority organization sponsored a “giant vagina structure” for which students could pay a dollar and stick their heads in to have their pictures taken. Said a spokesperson, “There are a lot of phallic symbols in society, and we wanted to put a vaginal one out there.”
COPYRIGHT 2004 Chuck Shepherd Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate
letterstotheeditor President Bush’s trillion-dollar budgetbusting tax reduction brought 2002 tax benefits to President Bush of approximately $50,000 and tax benefits to Vice President Cheney of approximately $100,000. The unemployed are still waiting for their supposed trickle-down tax benefits. The benefits will be received simultaneously when
President Bush’s war coalition oil partners decide to lower their gouging prices for oil. The superwealthy income-tax beneficiary need not worry about making payments of the trillion dollar tax deficit since that will be left for payment by our children and through reductions in Social Security benefits. – George E. Brazitis, Champaign
JUNE 3 - 9, 2004
Lost and found down South F
or the road-tripping enthusiast, Unclaimed Baggage Center in Scottsboro, Ala., is well worth the stop along the summer highway adventure. This small town in northern Alabama hides the treasures of lost items from air travel. Itâ€™s like a thrift store in that a shopper can find items at low prices, but different in the quality of items a shopper can buy. Brenda Cantrell, the shopâ€™s marketing director, said an insurance salesman named Doyle Owens founded Unclaimed Baggage in 1970 as a part-time business. In 1995, Owensâ€™ son Bryan Owens acquired the business and expanded the store to take up an entire city block. Shoppers can find a variety of items travelers have lost. Sixty percent of the merchandise
is clothing for women, men and children. The rest is comprised of kitchenware, bed dressing, books, music, electronics, game systems, sports gear, DVDs, videos, jewelry, toys, cameras and luggage. This is how it works: The business has an exclusive contract with all the major airlines in the country, Cantrell said. Baggage is declared unclaimed after an airline tracks it for 90 days. The owners are reimbursed by the airlines for the loss, which technically makes the airlines the owner of the lost baggage. Unclaimed Baggage then buys the items from the airlines and sells them at the store. The store has such a vast selection because it is the only store of its kind in the country, Cantrell said. Some big-name clothing items from Versace or Armani will sell for much cheaper than they would normally be sold. Only .009 percent of the time do the airlines declare luggage unclaimed. For the volume of
BREAKINâ€™ ALL THE RULES â˜…â˜… JAMIE FOXX AND GABRIELLE UNION Breakinâ€™ All the Rules is a watchable film. At its peaks and during Foxxâ€™s â€œsexpertâ€? scenes, it could even be considered hilarious. Chestnut is solid gold. Any actor who can be funny working with the like of Lilâ€™ Bow Wow (Like Mike) and Steven Seagal (Under Siege 2) should be given a Nobel Prize. This is a film that will not draw many looks from critics around the country, but can provide a light moviegoing experience for those that arenâ€™t up to the substance of the summer blockbusters hitting the screens this summer. Have fun, but donâ€™t expect too much out of Foxx and Chestnut in Breakinâ€™ All the Rules. (Andrew Crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW â˜…â˜…â˜… DENNIS QUAID & JAKE GYLLENHAAL The Day After Tomorrow does a decent job of balancing eye-popping special effects with an appropriate human element. Thereâ€™s lots of scientific mumbo-jumbo, but for every scene of dull, Weather Channel-style explanation, thereâ€™s a magnificent shot of the United States engulfed by truly unthinkable storms. Even though you know the whole thing was the act of computersâ€”not of Godâ€”itâ€™s hard not to ooh and aah at the sight of New York City iced over like a snow cone. The problem is that most of the characters express little more than awe, rather than fear, as to what may be the unforeseen apocalypse. Expect to feel that same disconnected absence of intensity towards a film that is supposed to be unprecedented but unlikely to be remembered the day after tomorrow. (Matt Pais) Now Showing at Beverly and Savoy
PHOTOS | CAROL MUDRA
GODSEND â˜… ROBERT DENIRO & GREG KINNEAR Rumor has it that four endings were shot for this film, which will make any viewer wonder if the movie would have been better if they focused more on the plot in the first 90 minutes and less on the last 10. Even though it comes in under two hours, this film feels bloated and boring to the point that youâ€™ll wish you had a clone to send to the theater so you wouldnâ€™t have to endure this cinematic misstep. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy
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JUNE 3 - 9, 2004 | WHY CANâ€™T ERIC GAGNE BE ON THE CUBS?
BOBBY JONES, STROKE OF GENIUS â˜…â˜…â˜… JIM CAVIEZEL With a naturally beautiful backdrop immersed in a heartwarming tale that transcends its sport, Bobby Jones, Stroke of Genius is enjoyable for golfers and non-golfers alike. The game itself is only a minuscule portion of the filmâ€™s overall message and does not drain the emotion and intensity of the characters. Golfers will appreciate the historical account of a legendary player but the rest of the audience will connect with Jonesâ€™ tortuous life off the course. (Dan Nosek) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy
Unclaimed Baggage offers treasures from the skies BY SUSIE AN | STAFF WRITER
Iâ€™M NOT SCARED â˜…â˜…â˜… AITANA SĂ NCHEZ-GIJĂ“N & DINO ABBRESCIA Salvatoresâ€™s narrative unwraps in multiple ways revealing layers of several popular genres: horror, mystery and suspense. Realistically afraid and curious Michele is nevertheless willing to help the bound child that he found chained and starving underground. Avoiding most of the clichĂŠs of these genres, Salvatores then challenges the audience to figure out what the main focus of the narrative will be. Some surprises are soon revealed and not all plot developments and character motivations are elaborated that clearly. (Syd Slobodnik) Now showing at Boardmanâ€™s Art Theatre KILL BILL: VOL. 2 â˜…â˜…â˜…â˜… UMA THURMAN & DAVID CARRADINE It simultaneously proves Tarantinoâ€™s incredible understanding of his strengths and limitations as a director who
wears his influences so proudly on his sleeve. He doesnâ€™t try to top that which he references, but by synthesizing all of his favorite styles into a wholly new genre of creative filmmaking, he creates a unique, brave vision all his own. Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 are different enough in tone to watch separately but densely linked in a way that can only be truly appreciated when taken together. Tarantino entered Kill Bill a student, but he emerges a master. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy MAN ON FIRE â˜…â˜… DENZEL WASHINGTON & DAKOTA FANNING Director Tony Scott (Spy Game) never met a flashy, kneejerk cut he didnâ€™t like, and he makes even the calmest sequences in Man on Fire feel like chase scenes out of Enemy of the State. Essentially, this overly long drama is little more than a story of the usual American mentality of trying to solve the problems of other countries with bigger guns and bigger egos. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy MEAN GIRLS â˜…â˜…â˜… LINDSEY LOHAN & LACEY CHABERT Mean Girlsâ€™ screenwriter Tina Fey uses a candor that not only criticizes the stereotypes of these portrayals, but also depicts them in an entertaining way that is unique to anything shown before. The students of North Shore High donâ€™t all belong in magazine advertisements. Some belong in the â€œbeforeâ€? pictures in weight loss commercials or on the front cover of â€œSpecial Olympics Success Stories.â€? This film uses the formula of the typical high school illustration, adds fresh humor and a touch of reality that makes the film surprisingly entertaining to watch. (Art Mitchell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy NEW YORK MINUTE â˜…â˜… MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN All in all, the film is just what anyone would expect. There are a couple of funny moments, some annoyingly adorable moments and others that just arenâ€™t funny or adorable. The most striking fallout from New York Minute is the twinsâ€™ diminutive stature. Standing approximately 5 feet tall, and weighing what looks to be about 65 pounds apiece, the Olsen Twins are anything but the average movie star. At any rate, New York Minute will do its part to dispel a good deal of obsessions with the Olsen twins, mostly because they just arenâ€™t cute anymore. (Andrew Crewell) Now Showing at Beverly and Savoy RAISING HELEN â˜…â˜…â˜… KATE HUDSON & JOAN CUSACK Kate Hudson sparkles in the most bleak of circumstances, making the film appear somewhat appear as a comedy like its premise suggests. Hudson easily transitions from a charming single woman to an upset mother, proving that her acting chops were not just a fluke in Almost Famous. Her performance saves an otherwise over-sentimentalized drama, making Raising Helen shine when it desperately needs a glimmer of hope. (Janelle Greenwood) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy SHREK 2 â˜…â˜…â˜… MIKE MYERS & EDDIE MURPHY Shrek 2 does an admirably effective job of balancing its sarcastic but sensitive tone, and itâ€™s never too bitter to be sweet. The film manages to repeatedly wink at all things Disney without coming off competitive, an honorable move for a Dreamworks studio that should have plenty to gloat about at the box office this summer. In giving reverence with each reference, the four-headed team of writers keeps things light and sprinkles good-hearted, intelligent fun throughout every scene. It becomes apparent that the original strove for greatness while this suitable sequel is merely good, but itâ€™s hard to complain about another chuckle-filled trip to fantasyland sure to once again make Disney green (cha-ching!) with envy. (Matt Pais) SOUL PLANE â˜…â˜…â˜… SNOOP DOGG & TOM ARNOLD Soul Plane offers just what anyone who walks into the theater would expect. There is a bad movie with great comedians who let loose on drugs, white people, black people and everything in between. Barring a closedminded audience, the racially and sexually charged humor are a raving success. Cameos from D.L. Hughley, John Witherspoon, Karl Malone and many more keep the fans on the edge of their seats. The smoking hot women keep the eyes busy should anyone miss a joke. Those over 35 should forget about Soul Plane and go see Troy for the fourth time. But if you are up for a good time and an hour and a half of nonstop laughs, get yourself a board-
ing pass to Soul Plane. (Andrew Crewell) Now Showing at Beverly and Savoy 13 GOING ON 30 â˜…â˜…â˜… JENNIFER GARNER & MARK RUFFALO The premise of the film appears somewhat hokey, and by no means original, but Garnerâ€™s performance shines it up like a brand new mint penny ready for circulation. Garnerâ€™s natural ability to bring out empathy in others, both on screen and off, will eventually catapult her into the levels of stardom that Julia Roberts saw after Pretty Woman. They both subtly command attention, while winning over anyone who comes in view of their grown-up girl-next-door personas. (Janelle Greenwood) Now Showing at Beverly and Savoy THIS OLD CUB â˜…â˜…â˜… RON SANTO The filmâ€™s more joyous moments details Santoâ€™s recent work as a Cub announcer and his broadcast chemistry with Pat Hughes and the teamâ€™s number retirement ceremony at Wrigley Field last year. These scenes canâ€™t compensate, though, for the filmâ€™s more awkward parts, which include the recent wishful hype over Santoâ€™s possible induction into baseballâ€™s Hall of Fame. Here, director Jeff Santo interviews legends Johnny Bench, Willie Mays, Willie McCovey and Brooks Robinson, all of whom strongly endorsed Santoâ€™s wish for the Hall of Fame. Sadly, like last yearâ€™s missed playoff opportunities, Santo will have to wait until another day for his induction into the Hall of Fame. (Syd Slobodnik) TROY â˜…â˜… BRAD PITT AND ERIC BANA Troy uses endless flourishes of triumphant horns and cymbal crashes to create some sense of majesty, but it does as much justice to Homer as William Hung does to â€œShe Bangs.â€? Troy desperately wants to be a loud, sweeping rallying cry for love, brotherhood and country, but itâ€™s just a bunch of pretty boys playing dress-up in this real Greek tragedy. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy
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