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04

no.19

Cover Design • Nikita Sorokin Editor in chief • Todd Swiss Art Director • Brittany Bindrim Copy Chief • Sara Sandock Listen, Hear • Anna Statham Stage, Screen & in Between • Elyse Russo Around Town • Tatyana Safronova CU Calendar • Todd Swiss Photography Editor • Christina Leung Designers • Claire Napier, Nikita Sorokin, Allie Armstrong Calendar Coordinator • Brian McGovern Photography • Christina Leung, Erin Scottberg Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel, Brandon Oswald Staff Writers • Paul Prikazsky, Brian McGovern, Susan Schomburg, Emily Cotterman, Randy Ma, Brent Simerson, Annette Marie Gonzalez, Todd J. Hunter, Carlye Wisel Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Production Manager • Rick Wiltfong Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com write: 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call: 217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

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UNDER THE COVER |1-3| 3 3 3 |4-6| 4-6 6 |7-9| 7 8 8 8-9

INTRO This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN A new deal for old wheels • Erin Scottberg The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

LISTEN, HEAR Music mania in the midwest • Anna Statham Soundground #126 • Todd J. Hunter Alternative self • Fred Koschmann Album reviews

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CU CALENDAR

| 12 - 14 |

STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN

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TALK TO BUZZ

14 14 | 15 - 17 | 15 15 16 17 | 18 - 20 |

Bring on summer, bring on the movie blockbusters • Jenny McCarthy Top ten blockbusters • Jeff Gross Movie reviews Artist’s Corner with Billy Jean Theide Video game review

THE STINGER Doin it Well • Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Free will astrology Likes and Gripes

CLASSIFIEDS

© Illini Media Company 2005

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todd swiss EDITOR’S NOTE

L

et me introduce myself. My name is Todd Swiss and I have taken over editorial duties while Erin is off gallivanting in New York City. I’m graduating this summer after taking a couple of classes that I have put off until the last possible second. I will strive to make buzz the best and most-read entertainment weekly not only on campus, but in the entire community. We will explore new grounds and extend our focus beyond music, fi lm, and theater. Overall, I want to provide the community and University with a well-rounded idea of what is happening both in CU and around the nation. CU is certainly a different place in the summer. This is my second summer in the CU and I kind of love it. While completely insane during the Fall and Spring, campus is wonderfully serene during the nicest months of the year. The Quad is completely deserted and Green Street is not as dense with drunk college kids. The Downtown areas are still full of CU natives and graduate students. Unfortunately, the population decline does have some very sad consequences. Bigger bands refuse to play college towns during the summer because many of their most intense fans may not live in places like Champaign or Urbana, but they certainly have die-hard fans who go to school here. The one independent movie theater in town INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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decides not to play any provocative fi lms because the owner does not have faith in the community’s devotion to such fi lms. Instead, we are stuck with Mission: Impossible III (c’mon Boardman’s!) and the safe, Academy Award-nominated foreign fi lms. At least X-Men III looks to be an example of action done right. Even with these drawbacks, CU is a fantastic place to be in the summer. It has most of the perks of a liberal college town while retaining a nice, quiet atmosphere. Restaurants that cater to vegetarians and other health-focused individuals continue to serve their constituents and the bus system runs, for the most part, to serve the community and the environment (even though hydrogen-powered buses would be ideal). There is nothing better than walking through campus at night when it is 70 degrees out and barely seeing a single person. In the traditional school year, the sounds of nature would be interrupted by the murmur of house parties and the occasional drunken outburst. As my last summer before making my way into the real world, there is not better place to be than in CU with the people I have grown so close to over the last three years. Sure, it will be anti-climactic when I leave in August without wearing a tacky robe and hat, but who wants to spend 45 bucks to don such attire and hear some rich alumnus talk about the future? I would rather fi nd out for myself. sounds from the scene


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buzz weekly •

IF ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY, WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE GOD?

3

michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

Know your science? I certainly don’t

I

n high school, I was never much of a science guy. Actually, I was never much of a math, English, or social studies guy either, but for now, let’s just focus on my shortcomings in the science area. The only thing I had going for me was that I had a couple of smart friends who would coach me through the countless things I never understood. My job was usually to do the crap my smarter friends didn’t really care to do. I would cut open the frog and they would pretty much take it from there. I would mix the potentially volatile chemicals and if I didn’t explode, they would come back in the room and take it from there. I was very low on the science food chain. I’m afraid I still am. I wasn’t sure just how ignorant I was until I ran across a little list the other day. The list was compiled by a reporter who asked Nobel laureates, teachers, and scientists which ten things about science every graduating high school student should know. Thankfully, she didn’t call the list 10 things that stupid Mike Coulter doesn’t know, but I sort of got that point anyway. I know absolutely dick about science. Really, let me show you and feel free to play along. Question #1: What percentage of the earth is covered by water?

See, I really thought I knew this one and quickly and confidently answered 80%. I quickly and confidently answered wrong, of course. The answer is 71%. Question #2: What sorts of signals does the brain use to communicate sensations, thoughts, and actions?

You have got to be crapping me. I went with “synapsises” as my answer. Not only was it obviously spelled incorrectly but the correct answer is through electrical and chemical signals. Question #3: Did dinosaurs and humans ever exist at the same time?

My answer was “sure they did!” I mean, I’ve seen all kinds of movies and I watched quite a bit of “Land of the Lost” when I was a kid and that shit happened all the time. The correct answer is no, they never existed together. Question #4: What is Darwin’s theory of the origin of the species?

Um, organisms adapt so they can survive within a changing world. I know that answer is pretty vague, but I felt really smart using the word “organism.” Not smart enough though. Natural selection chooses organisms that possess variable and heritable traits and that are best suited for their environments. Question #5: Why does a year consist of 365 days and a day of 24 hours?

The earth goes around the sun in 365 days and spins around once in 24 hours. Holy freaking crap, you’re not gonna believe this, but I sort of got one right. The correct answer is because 365 days is the time it takes for the earth to travel around the sun and 24 hours is the time it takes for the earth to spin around once on its axis. All hail the King God of Science Knowledge. Question #6: Why is the sky blue?

I th in k I remember a sk i ng mysel f th is question once after an unfortunate encounter with a Thai stick. I then hypothesized that it had something to do with the blackness of outer space creeping near our planet and being filtered through the ozone and becoming blue. Um, not so much. Solar radiation sunlight is scattered across the atmosphere by a process called diffused sky radiation. The sky is blue because more short wave radiation (blue light) is scattered across the sky than long wave radiation (red light). Um, whatever, that’s pretty much what I meant. What do they want from me, I wasn’t really myself at the time. Question #7: What causes a rainbow?

My guess was something to do with a prism. I don’t know, maybe a real nice teacher would give me partial credit on that one. Ah, partial credit, the savior of the sympathetic moron. Actually, sunlight is reflected and bent by water droplets in the air and splits it into different colors. Question #8: What is it that makes diseases caused by viruses and bacteria hard to treat?

I was under the impression that the diseases found a way to repel the antibiotics we treat them with. I so want to say my answer was right, but it’s more along the lines of the diseases mutating over time and thusly evading our immune systems. Question #9: How old are the oldest fossils on earth?

Okay, I have absolutely no grasp of time where this sort of thing is concerned, so I guessed 50 million years. I was a little off on that one, as the correct answer is 3.8 billion years. Question #10: Why do we put salt on sidewalks when it snows?

I thought that the salt magically absorbed the water from the snow. Boy was I wrong. Adding salt to snow increases the number of molecules on the ground and makes it harder for water to freeze. So, I really didn’t do so well. As you can see, about the only answer I got correct was the one about me being an idiot and I’m sort of surprised I even got that one right. Hopefully, you did much better. If you somehow managed to do worse, I obviously can’t give you any correct answers. I can only give you my pity.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

sounds from the scene

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around town

A NEW DEAL FOR OLD WHEELS These bikes may look like junk now but with a little elbow grease and the right know-how, The Illini Bicycle Project breathes new life into them BY ERIN SCOTTBERG • STAFF WRITER

W

hen Jeff Bertolet’s friend was finishing a tattooing apprenticeship and needed a willing subject to let him try his hand at some color inking, Bertolet stepped up to the plate. The tattoo artist sketched out a design, Bertolet approved, and now his passion is forever engraved on his skin like skid marks on fresh asphalt. On the outside of Bertolet’s right calf lies an image of a black bicycle, wheels on fire, flames flying into the air. As an avid bicyclist for the better part of the past decade, there really weren’t many images to contemplate for his free, if amateur, tattoo. While others may not have the tattoo to back it up, ChampaignUrbana is full of bicycle enthusiasts like Bertolet. On the campus of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, bike paths crisscross the landscape and bike racks dot the sides of many buildings. Many say Champaign-Urbana is very nicely designed for bicyclists. “The streets are laid out well, everything is straight and there are no hills,” says Bertolet, citing the most advantageous characteristic to cyclists. And now, there are some who are trying to get more people to trade in their cars, and even their own two feet, for pedal power. Enter the Illini Bicycle Project, a group of students working to spread information and education about the benefits of bicycling while also working to implement a bike borrowing program on campus. A registered organization since September 2005, IBP is run by Alex Herder and Kannan Puthuval, juniors at the University. They are currently working to set up a program in the University residence halls that would stock each hall with 30 to 40 bicycles that students can borrow for a block of time. “We want to utilize bikes as a community resource,” said Herder, a 21-year-old University senior. The emphasis of IBP is that it is a community-based organization which welcomes and enjoys participation from everyone. Bertolet, who helps repair and maintain bikes for IBP, says bicycles are a simple, fast and convenient way to get around campus and between cities.

THE ILLINI BICYCLE PROJECT ALLEN HALL PILOT ERIN SCOTTBERG • PHOTO

• • • • • •

35 to 40 used bicycles. Students will be able to check out a bicycle for up to 18 hours. Bicycles will be numbered and assigned to the borrower to ensure accountability. Everything is totally free. The wheels start rolling fall 2006. Visit www.uiuc.edu/ro/IBP for more information.

Illini Bike Project Co-Director Kannan Puthuval, 20 years old, uses a tire lever to separate the tire from the tube, demonstrating how to repair a flat on Tuesday, May 9. Puthuval began working on bicycles as a high school student when his dad gave him the bike he rode in college.

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buzz weekly •

COMMON SENSE IS THE COLLECTION OF PREJUDICES ACQUIRED BY AGE EIGHTEEN. – ALBERT EINSTEIN

Q & A with the Illini Bike Project

5

ERIN SCOTTBERG • STAFF WRITER

Alex Herder

Why Do you like riding a bike? “It sets me free” What’s your advice to a new bicyclist? You’d really be surprised at how east it is to make biking a part of your daily life.

Why Do you like riding a bike? A car is like a mobile living room. A bike connects me to my surroundings. When you drive a car, you know your house, you know your car, but not in-between. What’s your advice to a new bicyclist? Being safe is easier than you think.

ERIN SCOTTBERG • PHOTO

Kannan Puthuval

Bruce Krueger, owner of Bike Works, 1103 W. Main St., Urbana, works on the spokes of a customer’s bike Tuesday, May 9. Bruce is known among local bike riders as the source for the best value and the most competent service and is often the man Illini Bike Project turns to when in need of advice.

Jeff Bertolet

Mike Pellegrino

Why do you like riding a bike? I like moving under my own power and not having to rely on a motor. What’s your advice to a new bicyclist? Take an interest in your bike and how it works. Don’t rely solely on others [for repair and maintence], learn yourself—it’ll be a lot more fun.

Why Do you like riding a bike? I can get anywhere on campus in a matter of minutes. What’s your advice to a new bicycilist? Just try it. It’s so invigorating.

IBP plans to kick off their resident hall program at Allen Hall in the fall of 2006. Although University Housing and Unit One (the special residence program at Allen Hall) are supportive of their endeavor, they aren’t connected to the program in any way, says IBP. “They thought it was a great idea but didn’t want to put their official stamp on it,” said Kannan Puthuval, a 20-year-old University junior and Allen Hall resident advisor. The program is very simple: a student uses his or her I-Card to swipe into a vending machinelike cabinet that contains a key for each bicycle in the lot. Each key unlocks a corresponding bike located nearby. The student then has access to the bicycle for the next 18 hours. If the key isn’t returned to the cabinet by the end of the allotted time, an e-mail reminder is sent to the student. “It’s all free. You just swipe your I-Card, pick a key out of the cabinet and go. And since you used your I Card, you’re accountable for the bike,” says Herder, adding that one of the most convenient things about this system is that it makes use of already-existing I-Card technology that requires no additional registration.

Most of the bikes that will be used for the program are old bicycles donated by community residents. Some bikes also come from the University Police or are found by IBP in the streets, abandoned and broken. IBP stores its bikes wherever it can. Mike Okelman, an avid bicycle enthusiast and friend of IBP, keeps many of the bikes for the Allen Hall project in his basement and also does some of the repair work, as does Bertolet. While some bikes need major repairs when acquired by IBP, most just need a minor tuning. The group, which receives funding from the Student Organization Resource Fee and raises some money on its own, is able to keep its repair costs to a minimum because of people like Mike, “who know a lot about fixing on the cheap,” Herder said. When there is a needed repair that’s out of IBP’s league, the organization takes the problem to Bruce Kreuger, owner of Bike Works, 1103 W. Main St., Urbana. Many area cyclists say that Bruce, as he’s known around town, is the ultimate source of bicycle knowledge in Champaign-Urbana. Bruce is known for having the fairest prices by a long shot as well as the best equipment. According to some accounts, Bruce has prevented his customers from over-spending by helping them choose the right bicycle for their needs. Be warned though: Many also say that Bruce’s superior bicycle knowledge comes with some attitude—Bruce has been known to refuse to work on “big-box” bikes from stores like WalMart and Toys “R” Us because, as he says, “you wouldn’t buy a $4 watch then take it to a watch repairer when it breaks, would you?”

ERIN SCOTTBERG • PHOTO

To learn more about the Illini Bicycle Project or to help out, visit them on the Web at www.uiuc. edu/ro/IBP. buzz

Jeff Bertolet got this tattoo a year ago to represent his passion for bicycling. Bertolet, who uses a bike as his main form of transportation, says the most rewarding aspect of biking, besides the speed and affordability, is knowing that “I’m moving under my own power.” sounds from the scene

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buzz weekly

START EVERY DAY OFF WITH A SMILE AND GET IT OVER WITH. –W. C. FIELDS

Bruce’s word of advice for new bike owners

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seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

SMOKING BAN PASSES! ERIN SCOTTBERG • PHOTO

Scott Hays collapses; wakes

Bruce Krueger Assume invisibility: Always make sure you’re extremely visible to drivers, hyper-visible even.

ERIN SCOTTBERG • PHOTO

Always lock your bike: On your front porch, at the store, everywhere you go. U-locks are recommended because they’re much more difficult to cut. Bruce recommends spending the extra money to get a brand name lock — the difference in quality means the difference between a decade and a year of use.

A broken bike chain. A good bike is a good investment: A nice bike is easier to ride and doesn’t require as much effort to go as far or as quickly as a cheap bike does. A good bike, which will start at around $300, is a good investment and will most likely save you money in maintenance and repairs in the long run. And it’s just more fun. Take care of your bike: Even cheap bikes will last much longer with proper care. Keep your chain lubed (Tri-Flow works well) and keep air in your tires. Bikes are meant to handle weather, so it’s okay if you keep your bike outside. Just make sure to dry it off after rain or snow.

FIRST SNIFF It’s an interesting thing, a city council meeting. I imagine that most weeks, those in the council and Mayor Schweighart speak to a nearly empty room, going over tediously boring topics like what to do about cracked sidewalks and overgrown weeds on property that has been abandoned. Not so on Tuesday night. No sir. And while the room was not packed, those in attendance certainly got to witness history in the making.

The Mayor. Well—I wouldn’t classify him as the best looking cat on the block. But he’s got a grandfatherly sense about himself and has a funny little demeanor. I actually to a shine to him as I watched him preside over the meeting. I felt it was my duty to say something on this issue before I ran home to write my column. I asked the council to consider holding off on passing the ban. I felt, and still feel that there are options to be explored, people’s opinions to be considered and businesses that will feel a sting as a result of a blanket ban upon smoking in Champaign. I asked. But sure enough, at long last, they didn’t listen.

STILL UNCERTAIN... I have gone back and forth on the smoking ban issue for months now. Some days, I can’t understand how or why a dedicated group of people like the CU Smokefree Alliance would go out of their way to initiate a ban on something at some place that the will no doubt hardly ever be affected by. Let’s face it. Scott Downs and his minions aren’t hanging out at The Rail or sampling beers at The Pig on a regular basis. Nope. The bars are flooded with smokers. And so to that end, I sometimes wake up and think that this whole smoking ban thing is a load of shit. Who are they to dictate what people do in places that they don’t even patronize? But then, most mornings, I wake up and think of my sister—my beautifully asthmatic sister, who carries three inhalers with her so that she can breathe. Hey. She likes to party also and she has a hard time doing it with people like me puff puff puffing away in her face. Not really fair—if you break it down.

PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE Yep. Progress. That’s what it really is more than anything. Lord knows that it’s enough with the smoking already. I don’t mind stepping out for a smoke when I am at a show. To be honest, I have a hard time watching a whole set as it is, with or without cigarettes, so, I don’t feel so bad about it. And let’s face it. How much longer did you think a blue county like Champaign was going stay against the progressive and liberal grain? A year? Two maybe? May as well pass it now and get it over with. I, for one, am proud of the city. Even though, selfishly, I believe that there still could be compromises. I still believe that some people are getting the short end of the stick here.

THE SNIFFER SPEAKS ... TO THE BEST LOOKING CITY COUNCIL KNOWN TO MAN. I sat in the Council chambers for almost two hours, waiting for the issue to arise. I took notice of the people in attendance. Most of them donned stickers that said something to the effect of “Everyone deserves Smoke-Free air Indoors” or whatever. They looked like the most uptight group of people I have ever seen. And that isn’t to bad mouth them. It’s just the way they came off. I also took notice of Champaign’s City Council. A good looking group if you ask me. Tom Bruno, with his foot long stache and Vic McIntosh with his perfect coif. Giraldo Rosales has to be the best looking man to ever sit in the council chambers and Marci Dodds would certainly qualify as one of the best looking ladies to have a vote. Michael LaDue is as dignified a man as I’ve ever seen and Ken Pirok looks like he could beat me, you and your parents in Jeopardy 99 times out of 100. Kathy Ennen and Gina Jackson are both well dressed and smart like whips.

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FINAL WHIFF It’s a great day really. Those of you who don’t smoke will be able to go in to any place in town and breathe the air, no problem. And those of us who do smoke will be forced to smoke less when we’re out. No big deal if you ask me. My only real concern is for the owners of the bars that don’t offer some sort of entertainment. The dives. I swear to God that id Mike and Molly’s closes because of this, I will personally intimidate the naysayers in this column for the rest of my days here. Now, Urbana. No doubt they will pass it next. But you know what? If Urbana was thinking fiscally – they’d pass an ordinance that would make smoking allowed until Kingdom Come. I mean, think of all those die-hard smokers. They’ll spend every last penny in all those Urbana bars. And Urbana knows this as much as I do: They fucking need it.

left off the dial

Seth Fein is from Urbana. He now lives in Champaign. He would like to thank his new Editor Todd Swiss for his patience for this column. Look at that! Buzz actually got some breaking news! And! Congrats Scott Hays. Job well done. He can be reached at sethfein1@gmail.com.

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sounds from the scene


7

listen, hear

MUSIC MANIA IN THE MIDWEST

ANNA STATHAM • LISTEN, HEAR EDITOR

I

f you have a car, or if you have a friend with a car, consider yourself very, very lucky this summer. The midwest is teeming with music festivals during the next couple months with lineups so fabulous, you’d do yourself a disservice to spend your summer work money on anything else. From hip-hop superstar Kanye West to local legends elsinore, artists and bands from all over the world are flocking to the Midwest for your listening pleasure. With festivals ranging from 30 to 300 bands in one location at the same time from Milwaukee, WI to Manchester, TN, covering every genre from indie to country to rock to hip-hop, the Midwest takes the cake for most ideal location to spend the summer as far as live music is concerned. Be proud of your Midwestern roots, for once, and take advantage of your prime location by getting in your car and checking out at least one, if not a handful, of the following.

PITCHFORK

SUMMERFEST

WHERE: Union Park (1501 W. Randolph) in Chicago WHEN: Saturday, July 29 – Sunday, July 30 WHO: Silver Jews, The Futureheads, Ted Leo/Pharmacists, Art Brut, Destroyer, Mountain Goats, Band of Horses, Man Man, Hot Machines, A-Trak, Matmos, Dominik Eulberg, Ada, Jeff Parker/Nels Cline Quartet, Ghislain Poirier, Flosstradamus, 8 Bold Souls, Os Mutantes, Spoon, Yo La Tengo, Devendra Banhart, Mission of Burma, Aesop Rock, The National, Jens Lekman, Tapes ‘n Tapes, Chin Up Chin Up, Diplo, Matthew Dear, Spank Rock, Glenn Kotche, Tarantula A.D., Tyondai Braxton, CSS, Chicago Underground Duo, Blonde Do Role HOW MUCH: $20 one-day pass, $30 two-day pass

WHERE: Milwaukee, WI WHEN: Thursday, June 29 – Sunday, July 9 WHO: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Pearl Jam, Paul Simon, Nine Inch Nails, Mary J. Blige, BoDeans, Blue Oyster Cult, Goo Goo Dolls, Counting Crows, REO Speedwagon, Common, Keane, Los Lonely Boys, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Everclear, Treaty of Paris, All-American Rejects, David Lee Roth, Soul Asylum, The Tragically Hip, Rusted Root, Alice Cooper, Margot & The Nuclear So and So’s, Kenny Chesney, moe, Ryan Cabrera, Bowling for Soup, Nickelback, Hoobastank, Yonder Mountain String Band, Flogging Molly, Wilco, The Fray, Steely Dan and Michael McDonald, Yellowcard, Cheap Trick, The Big Wu, Styx, P.O.D., Alan Jackson w/ Carrie Underwood, The Starrs, The Hush Sound, Panic! At the Disco, Seether, Toto, Guster, Aqualung, The Bangles, The Love Monkeys, and more! HOW MUCH: $15 evenings (after 4 p.m.) and weekends, $8 weekdays (12-4 p.m.) for Grounds Stages performances. Additional tickets for headlining acts playing at Marcus Ampitheatre available through Ticketmaster.

{ terra incognita }

SUMMER CAMP WHERE: Three Sisters Park in Chilicothe, IL WHEN: Friday, May 26 – Sunday, May 28 WHO: moe, Umphrey’s McGee, Rusted Root, Yonder Mountain String Band, Keller Williams, The Disco Biscuits, Andrew Bird, New Monsoon, Rose Hill Drive, Apollo Sunshine, Tea Leaf Green, Groovatron, Animal Liberation Orchestra, Pnuma Trio, Glenn Kotche of Wilco, Michael Travis and Billy Nershi of SCI, Oteil & The Peacemakers, The Lee Boys, Drop Q, Kris Myers of Umphrey’s, Backyard Tire Fire, Cornmeal, Family Groove Company, Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band, The Brakes, Brothers Past, The Steepwater Band, Future Rock, Malcom Palmer, 56 Hope Road, Ernie Hendrickson & The Make Believe, The Station, elsinore, Coal Train, Fat Maw Rooney, Jassy Grazz, Waterstreet, Brain Child, Garbage Mountain, and more! HOW MUCH: $115 for a three-day pass, includes camping, $40 for a single-day pass

{ cyclops country }

TASTE OF CHICAGO MIDWEST MUSIC SUMMIT

WHERE: Grant Park in Chicago WHEN: Friday, June 30 – Sunday, July 9 WHO: The O’Jays, 3PC, Risque, Glen Campbell, Yonder Mountain String Band, Phil Vassar, SHeDAISY, Jo Dee Messina, Grant Park Orchestra, India.Arie, Train, Matt Kearney, Liquid Soul, Macy Gray, Liz Phair, Fountains of Wayne, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Dennis DeYoung HOW MUCH: free admission

WHERE: Broad Ripple Village in Indianapolis, IN WHEN: Thursday, August 10 – Saturday, August 12 WHO: over 300 bands of the independent variety on 20+ stages to be announced in late June HOW MUCH: $20-$25 in advance, $30 walk-up

BONNAROO

LOLLAPALOOZA

INTONATION

WHERE: a 700-acre farm in Manchester, TN WHEN: Friday, June 16 – Sunday, June 18 WHO: Radiohead, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Beck, Elvis Costello & The Imposters, Oysterhead, Bonnie Raitt, Death Cab for Cutie, moe, Bright Eyes, Bela Fleck & The Flecktones, Cypress Hill, Buddy Guy, Ben Folds, Common, Robert Randolph & The Family Band, Sonic Youth, Les Claypool, Matisyahu, G. Love & Special Sauce, Umphrey’s McGee, My Morning Jacket, Cat Power, Amosphere, Blues Traveler, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Rusted Root, Devendra Banhart Band, Donavon Frankenreiter, Blackalicious, Andrew Bird, Matt Costa, Balkan Beat Box, deadboy & the Elephantmen, and more! HOW MUCH: $184.50 for a 3-day weekend pass, which includes camping and parking.

WHERE: Grant Park in Chicago WHEN: Friday, August 4 – Sunday, August 6 WHO: 130 bands including – Red Hot Chili Peppers, Kanye West, Wilco, Death Cab for Cutie, The Flaming Lips, Queens of the Stone Age, The Shins, Common, Matisyahu, Ryan Adams, Umphrey’s McGee, Sonic Youth, Thievery Corporation, Blues Traveler, Broken Social Scene, The New Pornographers, Iron & Wine, Coheed and Cambria, Poi Dog Pondering, Built to Spill, Panic! At the Disco, The Smoking Popes, Andrew Bird, Stars, Cursive, Blackalicious, Calexico, Nada Surf, Aqualung, The Frames, The Go! Team, Mates of State, Of Montreal, The M’s, Matt Costa, The New Amsterdams, deadboy & the Elephantmen, Pepper, Sybris, Boy Kill Boy, Sa-Ra, Moses Mayfield, Be Your Own Pet, and more! HOW MUCH: $140 for a three-day pass

WHERE: Union Park in Chicago WHEN: Saturday, June 24 – Sunday, June 25 WHO: The Streets, Ghostface, Lady Sovereign, Boredoms, Roky Erickson, The Stills, High on Fire, Chromeo, Jose Gonzalez, Devin the Dude, 90 Day Men, Erase Errata, Favourite Sons, Bloc Party, Dead Prez, Robert Pollard, Jon Brion, Blue Cheer, The Sword, Lupe Fiasco, Annie, Rhymefest, Constantines, Panthers, Bill Dolan, Tyrades HOW MUCH: $20 one-day pass, $35 two-day pass

sounds from the scene

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POODLEWOODLERATTASAKIWANTSOMESEAFOODMAMA.

soundground #126 THIS WEEK IN MUSIC

album REVIEW

TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

ESPERS II

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Drag City BY TODD SWISS

Rob McColley & The Heather (Heather Winters) are due to issue an album: #7½ for him, #1 for her. Irreverence and enviable vocabular y are the trademarks of the McColley experience, and as such, the album does not disappoint. The sixteen songs range from the French-sounding “Sugar Pills” to the deadpan “Let’s Blame Whitey for This” and the waggish “Dog and Cat Greet the Houseguest,” as well as a new version of “Trip to Bali” and a cover version of “Forever’s Too Long.” Probably Vampires embarks May 21 on a tour that starts in Chicago, hopscotches the Northeast, and circles back to conclude June 9 at Wakarusa Fest in Lawrence. The Probably Vampires fulllength Dang! is in the final mixing stage and ought to be available in time for Wakarusa Fest. It features fourteen songs, including all six from the advance EP, and will sell at shows for $7. In addition, Probably Vampires will shoot a video this summer with Stockyard Films. The i:scintilla EP on Alfa Matrix now has a release date of Aug. 18 and will combine new versions of songs from The Approach with remixes. A mini-tour of the Midwest will coincide with the release. Later this month, i:scintilla will post the track listing and tour itinerary online, and much more important, debut live drummer Vince Grech (ex-Sister Machine Gun, Stromkern) at Gothic Industrial Night II, May 28 at The Mission in Elgin.

On the horizon: Goodnight, We’re Only Here to Help by fireflies comes out June 3 at The Canopy Club. The first Shipwreck EP in a series of four comes out July 6 at Cowboy Monkey. House of Cards claims as collaborators Rachel McArthur and Seth Hubbard of Watery Domestic; Michelle Owen; and Stephen Ucherek and Joe Prokop of The Living Blue. Due any time are Salaryman 3 and albums by Cameo Turret and Joni Laurence. The Artists Against AIDS compilation Give It Up, Hand It Down, Put It On now is available at Exile on Main St. and Parasol and soon will be available via Innocent Words. Among the twentyone songs are exclusive tracks by The Greedy Loves, The Sokolski Boys, Joni Laurence, Reds, and Signalmen, as well as advance tracks by elsinore, KJ McKinnie & Bruce Sain, Water Between Continents, and Probably Vampires. Give It Up, Hand It Down, Put It On was produced by Mimi Ormerod and mastered by Jon Schoenoff, with art by Kim Robeson. May 12, Mexican-inf luenced rock quartet Anomic announced that its show May 17 (last night) at The Canopy Club would be its last local one. There is still a chance to see Anomic tomorrow with Axxis at The Uptown Tap in Danville. Show time is 9:30 p.m. Anomic is moving to Denver sooner than anticipated and will be missed. Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of local music every Monday at 10 p.m. on WEFT 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com. Support your scene to preserve your scene.

The cur rent ind ie-fol k scene is overflowing with the often sad sounds of Sufjan Stevens and Cat Power. The quirky “freak-folk” scene, while smaller, is also booming with the success of artists like Antony and the Johnsons, Devendra Banhart and Regina Spektor. However, with all of this exposure going to these often deserving artists, bands like Espers, who draw influence from the late-‘60s British folk scene, find themselves largely and unfairly ignored. Espers, Philadelphia-native Greg Weeks’ latest project, have just released their second album, and boy is it exciting. Their eponymous debut and last year’s The Weed Tree EP are filled with angelic vocals from Meg Baird accompanied by Weeks’ classically folky vocals and wonderfully written songs. While it sounds as if Espers are just another folk rock act emulating the great acts of yore, their unique combination of a drone-y style and catchy melodies set them apart from the pack. However, Espers produce music that is not only beautiful, but also mildly eerie. Think about how 18th century England would sound with its violins, flutes and harps, and you will begin to understand the sound of Espers. II, their latest album on Drag City, expands on their first two releases in pronounced and electrifying ways. No longer a trio, the band has added three members and their presence is felt from the first few moments of II. While their prior releases were primarily exercises in beautiful acoustic folk, II features menacing electric guitar riffs and a more decidedly psychedelic sound. The album opener “Dead Queen” (also the last song on The Weed Tree) is an eight minute epic which bridges their old and new styles. It

starts with a ver y basic guitar melody guided by Baird‘s vocals, but morphs into a hybrid psych-folk dirge. “Widow’s Weed,” the album’s second track and greatest highlight, fully realizes Espers’ new direction. A sinister but understated riff opens the song and sets the tone. A hyperactive violin wavers alongside the riff until it can no longer be contained and positively explodes in a psych-rock fury. Baird’s entrancing vocals provide an interlude between the ominous psych guitar shreds. After the more traditional and quietly beautiful “Cruel Storm” and “Children of Stone,” the electric guitar returns in a supporting role on “Mansf ield and Cyclops.” After following in the footsteps of the previous two songs for the first three minutes, a dreamy guitar sneaks into the mix along with some very active drums and crashing symbols. The fierce traditional guitar is replaced in “Dead King” by moaning strings, apocalyptic percussion and a modal guitar that intensifies with each passing second. The guitar returns in all its glory in “Moon Occules the Sun,” the f inal track on II, but only after Baird and Weeks provide a sublime vocal harmony as strings play hurriedly in the background. With II, Espers have truly created a gloomy psych atmosphere that often excites and never disappoints. II proves that Espers can rock with the best while still staying true to their folk roots. Espers have outdone themselves and made one of the finest albums of 2006.

ALTERNATIVE SELF: AN OPEN LET TER TO THE INDEPENDENT MIND FRED KOSCHMANN • STAFF WRITER

T

he realms that make the most sense to me – music, books, and movies, for example – operate under controlled conditions and generally play by the same rules. This entertainment system has been fine-tuned to let us find which corner of the world is ours to inhabit. In a way, we are nothing if not the sum of our tastes, and for me, they used to be so easily defined – alternative everything. Alternative, the word, suggested an independence of mind, an embrace of counter-cultures and underdogs. It’s fighting the good fight, if anything ever was. Or so it used to seem. N ow h e r e i s t h e o p p o s i t i o n b e t we e n a lter nat ive and ma inst ream more ev ident than in the questions surrounding alternative cou nt r y. To some, they a re quest ion s of g r it ve r s u s g l a mou r, e x pr e s s ion ve r s u s commercialism, art versus money. It depends on what type of person you are: if you prefer to support the small-time record label in the face of record industr y conglomerates, you likely prize Wilco over Kenny Chesney, and

so on. How you align yourself within the musical world has strong implications about how you interpret reality. It shouldn’t matter really. Music is a profession of aesthetics, and reality could have no place in it, if you so choose. For example, the alternative country aesthetic – perhaps more than any other genre of music – is just not real. As David Berman of the Silver Jews put it, “It’s really a fetishization of Depressionera country life.” Taking alternative country too seriously is like reading too much Kerouac: it’s helpful in shaping one’s sense of self, but nearly impossible to put to practical use. There comes a time when the alternative no longer seems so alternative. You look up from that same Kerouac book to find that not only has everyone else read it, but they don’t seem to even be any better off for it either. The dirt roads and unbeaten paths end up looking mighty worn, and the result is a feeling both lonelier and less proud than you ever imagined. So where do you look to find that coveted

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individuality? Do you dig deeper into the alternative world? In a sense, it’s the promised land of the independent mind, and nothing would be better than to revel in the company of like-minded folk. What were the Beats if not exclusive? But some justifiably disagree. A room f u l l of l i ke -m i nded a ny t h i ng repeatedly treads the same ground, and so, increasingly, the most controversial stance is to support the status quo – chain restaurants, Hollywood, Coldplay. The new alternative isn’t alternative at all – it’s mainstream. But there are numerous problems with the mainstream, not least of which is a complete loss of self. Here, it’s easy to feel like less of an individual and more of a targeted demographic. Bigbudget movies aren’t just hoping you’ll go see them – they damn well expect it – or else they wouldn’t have been made. At this point though, we’re more or less playing a game, and thankfully it’s one that music never really has to answer to. As Ken Kesey told a massive Vietnam protest rally,

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“You’re playing their game. All you can do is just turn your back on it – and say fuck it.” Music exists to evoke any number of things (eras and styles of life withstanding), and who you listen to and just how alternative they are really makes no difference at all. T he on ly word Ke sey cou ld hea r t he protestors crying, he told them, was “me,” and when the crowd responded with boos, he just started playing the harmonica. I know exactly what he meant. Have a good listen at the next concert you go to – what is the crowd really screaming about? The questions in music aren’t about music; they’re really about ourselves. And music alone and music in “scenes” are different things entirely. “It’s only people’s games you’ve got to dodge,” was Dylan’s advice. “Turn your back on it,” was Kesey’s. And here, taking some liberties, I turn to one man often hailed as counter-culture deity, Allen Ginsberg: Farewell ye Alternative where I suffered so much, hurt my knee and scraped my hand and built my pectoral muscles big as a vagina. sounds from the scene


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buzz weekly •

I’M NOT OK!

TWO GALLANTS What The Toll Tells

BAND OF HORSES Everything All The Time

Saddle Creek BY SUSAN SCHOMBURG

Subpop BY BRIAN MCGOVERN

The aptly and ironically named Two Gallants spin a good yarn. On What the Toll Tells, their sophomore effort, they couple world-weary storytelling that bristles with musical vitality and restlessness all at once. Two Gallants’ sound is part swagger and part storytelling folk, allowing the listener to get a glimpse of the heart beating beneath the rough, stripped-down veneer of the duo’s voices which are often in melodic and rhythmic unison with the guitar and drums. In spite of the album’s blood-and-gutspumping opener, “Las Cruces Jail,” and despite the instrumental spice added to tracks by the occasional appearance of whistling, harmonica, cello, and even a mariachistyle horn section, the overall musical effect remains primarily monochromatic. Depending on whether or not you get sick of hearing very similar melodic content in one song after another, this characteristic can be comfortingly familiar or monotonously boring. The album’s structure also feels a bit flawed, as the forward momentum created by the strong opening track f izzles out into a near-complete standstill by its midpoint. Too many ballad-like songs with similar pulses make many tracks blend into each

WHAT THE HELL?!

other. The only real respite after the opening is “16th Street Dozens,” occurring after the selfindulgently long epic “Threnody,” which is, incidentally, the biggest offender lyrically. The song offers up one obnoxious, trite rhyme after another: “When you’re gone, the earth will crumble/ I will try, but I will stumble,” and, “Here the children swing with sorrow/Yesterday was once tomorrow,” are just two examples. In spite of this afternoon lull, the album shows surprising emotional depth through the group’s vocal delivery on songs about life, death, and other vital matters. Although the songs’ subject matter lends itself easily to conveying a complex array of emotional states from humor to comfort, bold def iance, and melancholic nostalg ia, you m ight wonder whether Two Gallants are sincere in their songwriting efforts at social awareness, or if they’re merely attempting to mimic storytelling folk ala Dylan (especially on the occasions in which they throw a harmonica into their sonic palette). The album is worth checking out, if only to decide for yourself whether they are truly sincere in their storysongs or ultimately as false as their sound is unadorned.

[ PARASOL TOP TEN ]

moment of the week

1. SONIC YOUTH Helen Lundeburg/Eyeliner

Rapper 50 Cent will be adding the film “Live Bet” to his theatrical CV. The human target will star and produce(!) this film about illegal car racing. He’s also scheduled for two other film appearances in the future. This one gives a whole new meaning to Fiddy’s “magic stick.”

Sonic Youth

2. THE CORAL SEA Volcano And Heart Hidden Agenda

3. SLEEPYARD Easy Tensions Orange Music

4. BORIS Pink Southern Lord

5. DEXTER’S MOON Come Rain

A couple of weeks ago a surprising and exciting discovery took place on a small island in the northern waters of Canada. A fossil of a f ish, Tiktaalik, was found. A f ish w ith A N K LES, Tiktaalik could climb out of the water up onto land. Many herald it as the missing link from water species to land species. Score a point for Darwinists! In mid-March a similar breakthrough took place in the music world. With “indie-rock” becoming an abused and overused household term, speculation arose as to what exactly indie music was, besides the basic answer of music from a non-major label. What made the Yeahs Yeahs Yeahs indier than the scorned Killers or Bravery? Discovered by Subpop in the remote regions of Seattle, the debut album Everything All the Time from Band of Horses is a missing link of the genre. Everything, with its many influences and inspirations, is the epitome of the genre; taking pieces of the last two decades of underground music and converting it into its own. Band of Horses, with their brilliant release, exemplifies exactly what indie rock means. There are moments when Horses sound exactly like the Shins. There are other times when My Morning Jacket seems a more appropriate comparison. Melodies and vocals even appear Beach Boys a la Pet Sounds at times. The album is really a great combination of country rock and fantastic pop. The album opener, appropriately

ON THE RIGHT TRACK CARLYE WISEL • STAFF WRITER

This summer, keep up with the hottest tunes that buzz staff writers are listening to here.

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titled “First Song,” recalls Christmas with echo-laced dueling guitars and an epic drum beat. The cymbals, reverb, and dreamy vocals create an atmosphere which is welcoming and soothing. This melds into “Wicked Gils,” which sounds like a lost track from the Shin’s Oh Inverted World. Atypical in most cases, the second half of the album is much stronger than the first. “The Great Salt Lakes,” arguably the best song of the bunch, is a band-defining song, perfect for any occasion. “Weed Party” starts off with the line “weed party ... YEEHAW,” so it’s obviously awesome as well. A slower, whisper ballad, “I Go To The Barn Because I Like The” and “Monsters,” where the more than necessary banjo appears, follow superbly. Ever ything showcases a band incred ibly comfortable with what they’re doing. The per for mances seem ef for t less. Though powerful, it sounds relaxed and natural; no histr ionics or fronts. The instrumentation isn’t exactly complicated and the lyrics are not particularly challenging, but Band of Horses puts the elements together just so that the outcome is both perfect and pleasing. The only negative aspect is that the album’s distinctive production leaves the songs to blend together at times. However, this is just a minor setback, not detracting anything substantial from the excellence of Everything All the Time. Score a point for Band of Horses!

01. Arctic Monkeys “Dancing Shoes” Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not 02. Stars “Sleep Tonight” Set Yourself On Fire 03. Nickel Creek “Speak” This Side 04. Jason Mraz “Plane” MR. A-Z 05. The Shins “Young Pilgrims” Chutes Too Narrow 06. Widespread Panic “Thin Air (Smells Like Mississippi)” Ball 07. Umphrey’s McGee “Ocean Billy” Safety in Numbers 08. David Gray “This Year’s Love” White Ladder 09. Alicia Keys “How Come You Don’t Call Me” Unplugged 10. Hot Hot Heat “Talk to Me, Dance With Me” Make Up the Breakdown

Combat Disk

6. JOSE GONZALEZ Stay In The Shade EP [domestic] Hidden Agenda

PHOTO COURTESY OF 50CENT.US

7. THE BEAR QUARTET Eternity now

sounds from the scene

A West Side Fabrication

8. THE SECOND BAND Your Dark Side Is On The Phone Orange Grammofon

9. GLIFTED Under And In Martians Go Home

10. VETIVER To Find Me Gone DiCristina

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cu calendar

TAKING A CUE FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY, EVENTS OF HIGH PRIORITY HAVE BEEN LABELED IN ORANGE.

THU. MAY 18 Live Bands Tim Deal Jazz Ensemble Iron Post, 7pm, $3 Benefit Concert for The Champaign County Christian Health Center: The Greytones, Some Band, HHH Trio Central High School 7:30pm, $3 The Lift Aroma Cafe 8pm, free Alma Afro-Beat Ensemble Canopy Club, 8pm, $5 Live Karaoke Band Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5

Anne Feeney Theory of Everything Paul Kotheimer

May 20th 4pm The Red Herring, $20 (includes a vegetarian meal) To benefit the locked out workers of Meredosia, IL

DJ Zen Thursdays: DJ Asiatic Soma, 9pm, free Metal Thursday: DJ Dirtleg, DJ Vance Highdive 10pm, free DJ Limbs Boltini 10:30pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar, 7pm, free Boneyard Karaoke Memphis on Main 7:30pm, free Karaoke Fat City Saloon 8pm, free

Persons Assuming Control of their Environment Volunteer Opportunities

Workshops Community Reinvesment Group Free Credit Seminar Parkland Business Development Center 10am, free

PACE, Inc. (Persons Assuming Control of their Environment) is looking for up to 17 volunteers to help with their everyday operations and promotion. Opportunities range from computer programming and graphic design to distributing flyers around town and file organization. Volunteers should be available during normal office hours which are 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., Monday through Friday. PACE serves people who have disabilities or disability-related concerns. PACE provides advocacy, independent living counseling, peer counseling, information and referral, skills training, and specific services, such as sign language interpreter referral, Brailing, and services to people over age 55 with visual impairments, personal assistance referral, and a free equipment loan program. If you have any interest in helping people with disabilities or just want to volunteer your services to a good cause, please call Hadley Ravencroft at 217-344-5433 for more information.

The ‘Man’, in his most abstract form, has shown time and time again that he gets no better satisfaction than kicking on the little people and spitting on the masses. He has proven himself once again in the case of the small city of Meredosia, a place not too far from the CU. Last year, the major corporation Celanese bought a chemical plant which employed many of the people from the tiny town it was located in. Shortly thereafter, Celanese demanded heath care benefit reductions and pay cuts up to 33%. When the employees asked to negotiate, they were barred from working. The workers have been replaced by inexperienced, cheaper laborers, and courts have limited the locked out workers’ ability to protest or negotiate. No one I know likes his or her fellow citizens’ rights and freedoms to be pissed on, and since I am omnipresent and therefore know all of you reading this, you’re included. Come to the Red Herring on May 20th to a benefit concert for all the downtrodden in Meredosia. A totally taste-tastic vegetarian meal is included with the admission price, plus all the money is going to a great cause. Joining Champaign’s own baby-Flaming Lips, The Theory of Everything, is activist, songwriter, and performer Anne Feeney. A child of the sixties, she keeps the spirit of change alive as she travels around the country to aid causes with her songs. Like Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger before her, she sings for the workers of America who so often get the short end of the stick. Wherever there is a place people are not getting a fair piece of the pie she wants to be there to help. Come to the Red Herring to help those in need, and maybe even get some pie along with the great grub.

FRI. MAY 19 Live Bands Billy Galt Blues Barbecue 11:30am, free Benefit Concert: Anne Feeney, Theory of Everything, Paul Kotheimer Red Herring Coffee House 4pm, $20 (includes free vegetarian food) Boneyard Jazz Quintet Iron Post, 5pm, free The Prairie Dogs Cowboy Monkey. 5:30pm, free The Painkillers Alto Vineyards, 7:30pm, $3

Family Fun “Babies’ Lap Time” Urbana Free Library 10:30am, free

Live Bands Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub 7pm, free Fuedin’ Hillbillys Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free

Dave Dreyer Hubers, 8pm free The Big Easy Iron Post 8:30pm, $4 Flathead 6 Memphis on Main, 8:30pm, $4 Lorenzo Goetz, Tabakin Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5

about military recruiting in local high schools and sweatshop labor] University High School 6pm, free Film: “The Bridge on the River Kwai” Virginia Theatre, 7pm, $5

DJ DJ Elise Boltini, 6pm, free DJ Bozak Soma, 8pm, free DJ LNO Nargile, 9pm, free before 10pm DJ Delayney Barfly, 10pm free DJ Tim Williams Highdive 10pm, $5

Meetings AAUW Writers Group Pages for All Ages 1:30pm, free

Film Uni High Social Advocacy Class Launch Party [Social Advocacy class will premiere two documentaries

SAT. MAY 20 Live Bands Roy Marcelin w/ Paul Sabuco The Hideaway 7pm, cover ESP Memphis on Main 8:30pm, $4

Midshift, Zero Base Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Unknown Space Iron Post 9pm, cover The Killborn Alley Blues Band Cowboy Monkey 10pm, $4 DJ DJ Bozak Soma, 8pm, free DJ Tim Williams Highdive 10pm, $5 Karaoke Creative Karaoke American Legion Post 71, 8pm free

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovantis, 10pm, free Lectures / Discussions Walter Mosley at Champaign Public Library [Come see the author of “Devil in a Blue Dress” and other Easy Rawlins mysteries] Champaign Public Library 7pm, free

Film Film: “The Bridge on the River Kwai” Virginia Theatre, 1pm and 7pm, $5

Pour la Victoire: French Posters and Photographs of the Great War

Live Bands Michael Davis Bentley’s Pub, 7pm, cover Watery Domestic Canopy Club, 8pm, free MPH Weft 90.1 FM 10pm, free Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Finga Lickin The Office 10:30pm, free DJ Jazz Mondays Nargile 8pm, free DJ Delayney Barfly 10pm, free

Such artistic efforts to garner support for wars is a lost art and rightfully deserves the tasteful display that the Krannert Art Museum has set up. The exhibit runs through July 30 and will likely never be featured again in CU.

Live Bands Billy Galt Blues Barbecue 11:30am, free Spoken Word / Open Mic Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Zoo Theatre Company’s Boltini Bingo and Lounge Variety Show Boltini 7pm, free

DJ Welcome Back Wednesdays: DJ LNO Nargile, 8pm cover DJ Stifler Highdive 8pm, $5 Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 8-10:30pm, free Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 10:30pm, $3

Pour la Victoire, one of the current exhibits on display at the Krannert Art Museum, is a collection of posters and photographs from World War I-era France. Most of the posters are propaganda pieces aimed at gathering public support for the war effort. In addition to the usual posters asking the French people to invest their money in the war fund and to conserve goods such as wine, there is a unique variety of posters advocating other wartime causes, but in very different ways. Some posters depict the slaughter of the Prussian royal eagle by sword and by strangulation, while others attempt to show French allies such as the USA in a positive light and to tell French citizens to support their friends. The most surprising and interesting section of the exhibit may be the series of posters dedicated to the armed forces from France’s African colonies.

TUE. MAY 23

art & theater

Soultro Joe’s Brewery 10pm, cover Adam Wolfe, Mike Bray Tommy G’s, 10pm, free

Chef Ra Barfly, 10pm, free

Live Bands Leslie Clemmons Performance Borders, 3pm, free Praise Team, Anglus Bells, Bells Too, Cherub Choir, Chancel Choir, Wellsring Warblers, Growing in Grace, Gordy’s Proteges Grace United Methodist Church, 6pm, free Paul Sabuco The Hideaway, 7pm, cover Leigh Meador Organ Trio Iron Post, 7pm, $3

MON. MAY 22

Underworld: Evolution Virginia Theatre, 7pm, $3

Family Fun “Funfare” Urbana Free Library, 10:30am, free

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9pm, free

WED. MAY 24

SUN. MAY 21

DJ sOUL tREE: DJ LNO Nargile, 9pm, free before 10pm

Film

www.chrischandler.org

DJ J-Phlip Boltini 10:30pm, free

Concerts Edison Middle School Band Concerts Clark Park 4pm, free Ted Long Southern Gospel Music Concert The Master’s House, 7pm donations

Lectures / Discussions Pathobiology Faculty Candidate Seminar [Gee Lau, University of Cincinnati] Veterinary Medicine Basic Sciences Building 9am, free Walter Mosley Preview Discussion Champaign Public Library, 7pm, free

Miscellaneous English as a Second Language Course LDS Institute Building, 7pm, TBA

Family Fun Japan House Children’s Day Japan House 1pm, free

Atomic Age Cocktail Party: DJ Jason Croft Cowboy Monkey, 8pm, free Subversion: DJ Evily, DJ Twinscin Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ Hoff, DJ Bambino Mike N Molly’s, 10pm, cover DJ Tremblin BG Barfly 10pm, free

—Todd Swiss

Family Fun “Touch-A-Truck Day” [Now children can experience what big trucks are really like. There will be a tow-truck, a fire truck, a police car, and other interesting vehicles and equipment for the children to check out. Please note, in case of inclement weather, the event will be cancelled. For pre-schoolers up to 5 years old.] Centennial Park, 10am, free “Toddler Time: Island Rhythms” [Swing and sway with some fishy stories and songs as we create our own coral reef for children ages 2 to 4 with an adult.] Urbana Free Library, 10:30am, free “Babie’s Lap Time Moonlight Edition” [Before going to bed, babies and their parents or caregivers are invited to a night of songs, stories, rhythms for your our youngest patrons, ages birth to 24 months with an adult.] Urbana Free Library, 6:30pm, free

Project 66: An Exploration of Utopia Inspired by the Works of Ilya and Emilia Kabakov [Project 66 is both an installation and a website created by a group of students from the School of Art and Design, the Department of Computer Science, and other campus units.] Krannert Art Museum through July 30 Pour la Victoire: French Posters and Photographs of the Great War [Graphically charged, lushly colored lithographic posters from World War I vividly depict the place of women in the war effort, the need for personal sacrifice on the home front, and the position of French colonial subjects.] Krannert Art Museum through July 30 Designing Experiences: How Graphic and Industrial Design Shape Daily Life [Design is less about generating products than it is about creating experiences through products that satisfy functional, as well as spiritual, cultural, social, tribal, and emotional needs. This exhibition profiles everyday products and solutions to visual communication problems created by UIUC Graphic and Industrial Design Alumni, and includes information about the designers, the design process, and history of the products.] Krannert Art Museum through July 30 Emergence II [An exhibition featuring works from international women] Verde Gallery through May 20 “Through the Past Darkly” [Paintings by Richard Greenberg.] Cinema Gallery through May 27 Parkland College Digital Media Student Juried Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery through June 22

VISIT WWW.CUCALENDAR.COM FOR THE MOST CURRENT EV ENTS AND TO ADD YOUR OWN.

—Brian McGovern

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sounds from the scene

sounds from the scene

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stage, screen & i n b e t w e e n

BRING ON SUMMER! BRING ON THE MOVIE BLOCKBUSTERS! buzz investigates the origins and the reasons for the mass production of summer movie blockbusters

SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER PREVIEW 2K6 PAUL PRIKAZSKY • STAFF WRITER

THE DA VINCI CODE Opens May 19th Based on the wildly popular Dan Brown novel, The Da Vinci Code follows Harvard Professor of Symbology Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) as he tries to solve a murder mystery, and along the way discovers the dark kept secrets of the Catholic church. If you haven’t heard about this book already (probably not the case), don’t read it and let the movie be a surprise!

JENNY MCCARTHY • STAFF WRITER

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othing feels quite like summer than escaping the sun’s heat at a nice, air-conditioned movie theater. While you’re there, chances are you’ll end up seeing one of the big blockbusters coming out this summer. It seems like the summer months are notorious for the releases of big budget, big name films that require little brain-power on behalf of the audience. Sounds promising, right? Moviegoers eat it right up every summer, and that’s exactly what executives and producers hope for. While it may seem like the explosion of summer movie blockbusters has been around forever, it’s roughly only 30 years old. Professor David Desser, head of the Cinema Studies department at UIUC, explains how the phenomenon began. “The first summer blockbuster movie was unquestionably Jaws (1975). It was a brilliant move to make a movie about the summer and release it in the summer.” Jaws was then followed by Star Wars in 1977, Jaws 2 and Animal House in 1978, Alien in 1979, The Empire Strikes Back in 1980, and the list goes on and on. But what does it take to actually declare a film a “blockbuster?” Luke Owens, an Intro to Film professor at UIUC, sees blockbusters as “those films that offer amusement park thrills, big effects and bigger stars.” Movies with enormous budgets are looking to earn the most at the theater (think Poseidon, XMen III: The Last Stand, and The Da Vinci Code for the month of May). But how can movies that haven’t even been released yet be referred to as blockbusters? Professor Desser explains that the term “blockbuster” has changed over the years. “Originally it referred to a film’s take, in the sense of a ‘blockbuster smash.’ Now it refers to a big-budget film that is intended to become a box-office smash,” WWW.MOVIECOMPOUND.COM he says. This explains why studios garner so much press around movies that they’ve spent millions of dollars to produce. The target audience for many summer movies (those aged 15-25) are much more likely to spend their money to see a pre-declared summer blockbuster than a movie they’ve barely heard about. Mr. Owens agrees with this theory: “Smaller films, or at least films with less “blockbuster” potential, aren’t getting widely advertised or released.” This means that the critically acclaimed indie films, such as 12 and Holding probably won’t make it to your local cineplex. But why do all the movies coming out seem to be the same? It seems like Hollywood has a creative drought every year come summertime especially. Every film relies heavily on special effects, well-known actors, and intense action to carry a predictable and formulated plot. At least, that’s what the impression is this summer. With the release of 11 major remakes, sequels, and INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE , S CREEN &

adaptations for summer 2006, it seems that Hollywood sees its summer audiences as unable to handle original and unique story lines. Not completely true, Professor Desser argues. “Where we f ind fewer remakes is in the realm of comedy and here Hollywood hopes for the breakthrough success, whether with Adam Sandler’s Click, Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston’s The Break-Up, or even the odd-ball Jack Black vehicle Nacho Libre,” he says. There is some hope, then, that audiences won’t be subjected to a film that they feel like they’ve already seen before. So now the question is, what films will live up to their current “blockbuster” status? Mr. Owens says he’s most looking forward to Samuel L. Jackson’s Snakes on a Plane: “You have to admire the bald-faced honesty of a f ilm like this. This film doesn’t pretend to be anything more than it is: a bunch of snakes on a plane.” Snakes on a Plane is unique because it hasn’t relied on much studio build-up for its August release and it is pretty low-budget. Instead, the film has already earned cult status among internet fans, and hype for the film has spread mostly online rather than all over the press. Both Professor Desser and Mr. Owens ex pect a lot of d isappointment from the blockbusters this summer. Between Superman Returns, M. Night Shyamalan’s latest Lady in the Water, and Fast and Furious 3, it’s hard to say which film will perform the least up to its hype. Even Tom Cruise couldn’t make the big bucks happen for Mission Impossible 3, which is definitely not what the studio was expecting. One film that looks like it will not disappoint, however, is Pirates of the Caribbean 2. Johnny Depp, Kiera Knightley, and Orlando Bloom are all back for another Disney adventure, and judging from their performances the first time around, it’s safe to say that this sequel looks promising. It’s been 30 years since the first summer blockbuster hit theaters, and from the lineup this summer, it doesn’t look like the trend is going to stop anytime soon. But Mr. Owens believes the power lies with the moviegoers; he says, “Stop relying on these big Hollywood films for entertainment. Skip RV and Poseidon and seek out a cool Chinese movie instead...If it’s all about money to these big Hollywood conglomerates, let’s stop giving them our money.” So try to get a nice balanced film-intake this summer. Go ahead and enjoy the hype of The Da Vinci Code but go the extra mile to find a theater playing something other than the blockbusters this summer. Not only will you feel rewarded with an original and fresh film, but you can still get a dose a summer movie fix. buzz IN

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X-MEN III: THE LAST STAND Opens May 26th Our favorite band of mutants vs. Magneto’s (Ian McKellan) evil hordes should prove to be the battle royale of the summer. It’s not quite S&M, but everyone’s wearing a lot of leather. THE BREAK-UP Opens June 2nd Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston star as a warring couple, but neither wants to give up their half of the apartment. The ending has already been written in every celebrity tabloid around the planet, but who cares? Vaughn is the coolest. ‘Nuff said. SUPERMAN RETURNS Opens June 30th The man of steel returns to the big screen as unknown Brandon Routh dons the titular blue tights and red cape. With Kevin Spacey as the chrome-domed Lex Luthor and Bryan Singer helming the film, the effects laden production will be one of the coolest summer flicks. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST Opens July 7th Johnny Depp returns as lovable rogue, Captain Jack Sparrow in Disney’s big-budgeted sequel to battle the villainous Davy Jones (Bill Nighy). Depp’s drunken swagger and swashbuckling escapades make this flick a must-see. LADY IN THE WATER Opens July 21st M. Night “one-hit wonder” Shyamalan directs trollish Paul Giamatti as a superintendent who discovers a sea nymph from a bed time story (Bryce Dallas Howard) living in his pool. The trailer looks cool, but another “twist” ending could make this bedtime story a nightmare. LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE Opens July 28th This dark comedy and Sundance darling, features a dysfunctional family trekking to California so their neurotic daughter can enter a beauty pageant. Steve Carell’s performance as the homosexual, suicidal uncle might make audiences view their favorite virgin in a new light. MIAMI VICE Opens July 28th Jamie Foxx looking bad ass and Colin Farrell sporting a creepy mullet, they’re Tubbs and Crocket, navigating Miami’s drug and violence-filled underbelly. This could be the first decent TV-tomovie adaptation. TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY Opens August 4th. Will Ferrell is a race car driver. His nemesis: snide Frenchmen Jean Girard (Sacha Baron Cohen aka Ali G). Comedic gold. SNAKES ON A PLANE Opens August 18th No one but Samuel L. Jackson can stop the eponymous snakes. With lines like “get these muthafuckin’ snakes off my muthafuckin’ plane,” you better believe the snakes will be running (if that’s possible). sounds from the scene


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buzz weekly •

DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.

5. THE GODFATHER PART II (1974)

JEFF’S TOP TEN BLOCKBUSTERS OF ALL TIME JEFF GROSS • STAFF WRITER

10. GHOSTBUSTERS (1984)

This is quite possibly the only “clearly biased” entry in this list. As a child, it was my favorite film and to this day it still holds a special place in my heart. Additionally, earning $240 million at the box office in 1984 (a horrible year for film) is a sure-fire way to gain a position on this list. For those living in a hole in the ground, Ghostbusters is a hilarious sci-fi comedy about the supernatural and four men who make a try to make a living out of thwarting it. A must see for all! 9. BATMAN (1989)

With a powerful score by Danny Elfman, the chilling performance of Jack Nicholson, and direction of Tim Burton, Batman hit the big screens in 1989 as a tour de force of visual style, flavor, and action packed fun. This dark take on the DC comic is a unique piece of cinema. 8. SPIDER-MAN 2 (2004)

With it’s sleek special effects, tight action sequences, and turns on the clichés of the genre, I consider Spider-Man 2 to be one of the best comic

book movies of all time, second only to Tim Burton’s Batman (only ranking higher on this list because of it’s superior box-office gross). In bringing the imaginative style and unique camera work behind The Evil Dead into the mainstream, Sam Raimi creates one of the most visually enticing and groundbreaking action films to date. 7. JURASSIC PARK (1993)

Jurassic Park is my personal favorite Spielberg film. John Williams’s incredible musical score and Stan Winston’s groundbreaking animatronics work made this movie. Everything about the film— from the music to the plot—is so breathtakingly fantastic that one cannot help but love this film. 6. THE MATRIX (1999)

Personally, I think this one is overrated. I much prefer the similarly styled film Equilibrium. However, millions of fans cannot be ignored by my own personal preferences. With its high tech computer graphics, the invention of bullet time, and the infamous “lobby shoot-out” scene (which I hold to be one of the best single action sequences to date), The Matrix (whether deservingly or not) remains one of the highest regarded science fiction films of all time.

GUILTY PLEASURE

4. INDIANA JONES: RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981)

Not much needs to be said about this listing! Indy is one of the most recognized heroes of the action genre for a reason. Go watch Harrison Ford battle the Nazis in retro-30s style as he searches for the Ark of the Covenant. 3. THE TERMINATOR (1984)

James Cameron’s sleek, intelligent, dystopian take on the “slasher” genre is truly unique. Additionally, this movie spawned one of the best (and one of the worst) sequels in movie history. Cameron shows true cinematic talent as he turns Arnold’s textbook definition of bad acting into a fitting and entertaining performance. So whether you like dark

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orget anything you learned in Driver’s Ed – drive furiously down the street into oncoming traffic. Tailgate the car in first place. Swerve around and boost into the right side of their car to take them down. Laugh as you cross the finish line and take the gold. That’s Burnout for you! Burnout Legends offers a high-speed, crash-tastic, arcade-like experience that will keep you on the edge of your seat from beginning to end. Legends is definitely of the pick-up and play variety. It is very easy for veteran racers and novices alike to get a feel for the controls which consist of gas, sounds from the scene

2. LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING (2001)

Not much needs to be said about the LOTR trilogy. We’ve all seen it; hell, the trilogy grossed nearly a billion dollars at the box office. The first installment is my personal favorite. Check out the extended editions if you have the time. 1. THE STAR WARS EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980)

Any franchise with a movie premiere that costs the economy $627 million in lost productivity automatically gains the number one slot on this list, earning the title of “the ultimate blockbuster.” It’s a classic saga that we’ve all come to love over the years. Alas, George Lucas has ruined the experience since 1997 for many fans by “changing” the movies. Fans demand that Han fire first and the Ewoks sing their stupid little song! But don’t fret Star Wars fans, as Lucas is FINALLY releasing the original trilogy on DVD this November (just in time for Star War 3D, perhaps). Anyway, if you haven’t seen the Star Wars trilogy yet, do yourself a favor and at least rent episodes IV through VI.

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Director Chan-wook Park’s second release in the “Revenge Trilogy” is certainly not for the faint of heart but is a gem for any new-age film fan. The movie begins aggressively: lead character Daesu Oh (Min-sik Choi) is kidnapped and imprisoned for fifteen hellish years in a run-down condominium, and he isn’t even hinted as to why he’s there. His sudden release spawns a chaotic and suspenseful hunt for the identity of his kidnapper and, more interestingly, the motive behind his heinous act. While seeking his revenge, Oh meets the tender and beautiful Mi-do (Hye-jeong Kang), a local chef who is eager to help her friend out. There are, however, many twists and turns ahead for these two, and the audience is along for the ride. Aside from the plot perversions and clever cinematic nuances, the most dazzling part of this film is undoubtedly the one-take fight scene between Oh and an entire gang of hoodlums. Simply amazing. – BRENT SIMERSON

HIDDEN GEM

video game BURNOUT LEGENDS ANNETTE MARIE GONZALEZ • STAFF WRITER

science fiction flicks or non-stop action in the form of explosions and machine guns, then The Terminator and T2: Judgement Day just might be the right blockbusters for you. Avoid T3: Rise Of The Machines at all costs!

OLDBOY (2003)

SPIES LIKE US (1985) Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase are up to their usual ‘80s antics in this ridiculous Cold War spoof that even provided the immortal Bob Hope one last movie appearance (though only a hilarious cameo). Staged in the middle of the heated U.S.-Soviet weapons standoff of the 1980s, Spies Like Us focuses on two lame and helpless government slackers turned gullible spies. Emmett Fitz-Hume (Chase) and Austin Millbarge (Aykroyd) are tricked by a secret U.S. defense department to act as a decoy in the Soviet Union to detract their attention. Meanwhile, a team of authentic spies attempt to launch Soviet warheads at the U.S. to test the new U.S. missile laser defense system. It is true that the movie concept is outrageous; but then again, what could possibly be more outrageous than Aykroyd and Chase riding in a centrifuge, performing a third-world appendectomy, and of course saving the entire planet from imminent nuclear destruction?

Paramount made Francis Ford Coppola an offer he couldn’t refuse (total artistic control) in order to get him to create the superior follow up to what many consider the best film of all time. The Godfather Part II is more developed, darker, and longer than the first. As Michael (Al Pacino) makes his descent into the depths of evil, his story parallels the rise to power of his father Vito Corleone (Robert DeNiro). Both parts one and two of The Godfather trilogy are quintessential to American cinema and should be viewed by all. However, you can pass on the third.

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TARTAN FILMS

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brake, and most importantly boost. The aim of the game is to do whatever it takes to win the race. Drive mercilessly and speed down tracks totaling the competing cars one by one. The artificial intelligence in the game will be just as ruthless, which is why the game does an excellent job keeping you on your toes. Anytime you hit a car you always get a true feeling of impact which is always satisfying — unless you are the one getting slammed — ouch The races are all packed into a single-player mode dubbed “World Tour.” You start the game with only one vehicle class, Compacts, and only a handful of map locations. As you ram your way through game events you

have the opportunity to earn medals, points, and cash, in addition to unlocking new cars and tracks. Other game play modes include Road Rage, where the player has to take down as many cars as possible; Burning Laps requires you to race against the clock; Faceoff places you in a race against an opponent. If victorious you can add their car to your collection. Pursuit mode provides you with a cop car that you will use to drive after a marked car and take it down. In addition to racing modes, there is a Crash mode that requires you to slam your vehicle into a strategically positioned traffic situation. You can take this one step further using a crash breaker, which allows you to blow up your car amidst traffic to add to the

damage. You are evaluated for your destructive performance by the dollar total of the destroyed property. There are a total of 175 race and crash events to plow your way through. You can take them on alone or through multi-player. Multi-player in the game is played via ad hoc mode — sorry guys, no online play. The soundtrack for Legends consists of 21 tracks also nicely complements the game play. The songs come from a number of rock bands such as Finch, Nine Black Alps, Mindless Self Indulgence, and Yellowcard. Legends’ simple and addictive game play will keep you coming back for more. It is one of the best titles the PSP has to offer. Regardless of whether or not you are a racing fan, this game is a smashing good time.

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buzz weekly

billy jean theide

RANDY MA • STAFF WRITER

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EMILY COTTERMAN • STAFF WRITER

automotive paints to blend the disparate elements. In these works I am interested in commenting on the history of the field of metalwork.

CHRISTINA LEUNG • PHOTO

What other art have you created using different media?

I don’t use metal exclusively. There are times when I don’t use metal at all. I am most interested in conveying an idea. I select materials based on their ability to assist me in conveying a concept. I also work in porcelain. It is virtually impossible to maintain equally visible positions in ceramics and metal. Nonetheless, I actively attend the National Council on Education in the Ceramic Arts (NCECA) conferences, participate in invitational ceramic exhibitions, and attend international ceramic symposiums. I have worked as a visiting artist in factories in mainland China, Czech Republic, and Poland. I will be on sabbatical this fall and will spend the month of September working on my own work in a traditional porcelain factory in Poland. What other artwork do you like to make?

Billie Jean Theide has been a professor at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign for twenty years in the School of Art and Design, along with being the Chair of the school’s metal program. She received her Bachelors of Fine Arts at Drake University and her Master’s at Indiana University. Along with teaching in Urbana-Champaign, Theide has also been a lecturer at San Diego State University, an instructor at Drake, and an associate instructor at Indiana. She has won numerous grants and awards including a Visual Arts Fellowship Grant from the National Endowment for the Arts, an Artists Fellowship Grant from the Illinois Arts Council, and several Brodie Fellowship Grants. Her work has been featured at the American Craft Museum in New York, the Nashville Ornamental Metal Museum in Memphis, Navy Pier in Chicago, and the Smithsonian Institution in Washington D.C. along with dozens of other places across the country. Her work is currently being shown at the I-Space gallery in Chicago, which displays art specifically from the UIUC College of Fine and Applied Arts. Theide is being featured in “Object Lessons,� an exhibition that will be available until June 3. More info can be found at www.uiuc.ispace.edu

I am also interested in making contemporary art jewelry. Jewelry is a powerful art form as it is mobile. I tend not to wear my own jewelry; I have a comprehensive collection of contemporary work, American and European. I also have a nice collection of former student work. Ultimately, I will give this collection to a museum for the benefit of future generations. I try to wear jewelry daily. The work that I wear is somewhat confrontational; I am interested in exposing the lay audience to unfamiliar ways of adorning the body. What do you expect from your students?

I accepted my first teaching position in 1982. I have been teaching at the university level ever since. I joined the faculty at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign in 1985. I am committed to sharing knowledge and experiences with students. I enjoy teaching; I am challenged everyday. I encourage my students to be active, productive, and to take risks. I expect them to attend national conferences, participate in juried and invitational exhibitions, become familiar with work in and outside of their field, and work outside of their comfort zone.

Why do you create art out of metal? How do you feel about the I-space Gallery?

I am partial to metal; I was trained as a metal smith and as a contemporary art jeweler. My reputation in the field of contemporary metalwork is based primarily on fabricated teapots that I have made in metal over the last 15 or so years. The early teapots were small patinated forms that referenced the western landscape, those were followed by teapots that were fabricated from bronze screen electroformed to provide a more stable structure. My most recent teapots are hybrid forms that are fabricated of copper with antique silverplate components. The teapots are professionally painted using

The exhibition in Chicago at I-space Gallery, “Object Lessons� has f inally allowed me to view my work in relationship to the things that I collect. The collections include Hall teapots, wedding cake toppers, glass snow domes, bakelite salt and pepper shakers, and Heywood Wakefield furniture. My collection of Hall teapots has influenced my own teapots. In my most recent work, I often cannibalize parts from collections to create hybrid objects that comment on the h istor y of meta lwork and the cu lt ure of

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indsay Lohan stars in her first pseudo-adult role as an upper-class Manhattanite who is ridiculously lucky; at a charity ball she transfers her luck to a notoriously unlucky fellow played by Chris Pine. The entire movie is on constant autopilot with a montage at the beginning showing each character’s luck or lack thereof, what happens after their luck is switched, how the two characters meet through fate, and the ending where Lohan reaches the realization that she does need her luck and the couple wind up together. In conclusion, this film is typical romantic comedy mediocrity. This would be fine, but what bumps this movie well below recommendation is that there is no audience for this movie. First off, Lindsay Lohan is still a teen idol; this movie is not a transition to adulthood as her character acts like she is a sophomore in high school. No one is buying it. Her bad luck isn’t even bad luck. Most of the time it’s a lack of common sense that can easily be avoided. The jokes are flat, the story uninteresting, the characters pathetically monotone, and the romance between her and Pines is so poorly developed and obviously constructed, watching programmed robots fall in love is more interesting. Worst of all, though, is the “adult� themes that are sprinkled throughout the movie. There are insinuations of sex, male gigolos, and language,

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which would be all fine if the movie didn’t suit and clearly appeal to eleven-year-old girls. Just My Luck would be great on the Disney channel if these poor attempts at maturity weren’t shoved into the script every couple minutes. Moms will be bored, girls will be confused, and teenagers will wonder why there aren’t more pretty boys on screen. This movie is for a demographic that does not exist and there is better trash in theaters more worthy of your ticket money.

20TH CENTURY FOX

JUST MY LUCK

ARTIST’S CORNER

Professor Billie Jean Theide, Chair of Metal Program for the School of Art and Design

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I HATE MAILMEN. JERKS.

JUST MY LUCK • LINDSAY LOHAN WARNER BROTHERS PICTURES

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POSEIDON

PAUL PRIKAZSKY • STAFF WRTIER

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oseidon, the first summer disaster movie, has hit the big screens, and, like the doomed vessel, will likely sink without any notice. It’s the newest addition to the pantheon of unnecessary Hollywood remakes where the only story elements “re-imaginedâ€? are the characters and the roles they play. Kurt Russell takes on the Gene Hackman part, this time playing an ex-New York mayor who won his election largely because of his heroics as a firefighter. There is also his daughter (Emmy Rossum) and her fiancĂŠ (Mike Vogel), a suave gambler (Josh Lucas), and a suicidal exec (Richard Dreyfuss). These characters, together with a few more that we couldn’t care less about, are on a luxury cruise celebrating the New Year when a rogue wave overturns the ship and the party is trapped underwater.Desperate to save their lives, a small group traverses the dangerous terrain of the sunken ship en route to the top and hope to not end up like passengers of the Titanic. Poseidon boasts impressive visual effects, but very few nail-biting moments of suspense and shock. Director Wolfgang Petersen is no stranger to trouble on water-type flicks. He’s directed both The Perfect Storm and Das Boot, about a sinking German submarine; both of these films had sympathetic characters that actually made the danger more harrowing and, well, dangerous. We’re thrown into Poseidon so quickly that we’re forced to forget about the characters and instead watch stuff burn, crash, and blow up. Mark Protosevich destroyed Paul Galico’s original novel and made a mockery of The Poseidon Adventure. The notoriously campy original doesn’t hold up to today’s standards, but at the time seemed pretty cool. But there’s nothing original here. The story is really Titanic meets In the Line of Fire. Except now we want the characters to drown.

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15

the stinger

kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

Sexual Response The Mind Body Connection

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

“I Can’t Be Positive”-negativity down to the core. Across 1 Does some bookmaking 6 It may be piercing 9 Channel where you can hear Rita Cosby’s hoarse voice 14 Tool 15 Tool that sounds like a streetwalker 16 Consumed 17 Food launched at a Gallagher concert? 20 First Amendment word 21 Army rank just above Maj. 22 First orange property on a Monopoly board 25 Neglected

29 His life inspired “Citizen Kane” 30 Vivacity 31 Longoria of the shortlived “Dragnet” TV remake 32 36 inches 33 One of Chekhov’s “Three Sisters” 34 “Monster” band 35 Statement about a show born from another show? 39 Roaming charge, say 41 Foolish 42 Sufficiently skilled 45 Actor Stephen 46 Flower with hips 47 16-year-old, often 49 Everyone’s already heard it 51 Piece 52 2001 sports biopic

53 Ray Barone’s wife 54 Question from one Spanish lady to another? 61 “The Last of the Mohicans” character 62 R&B’s Bell ___ DeVoe 63 Cheat out of money 64 Winners of a certain TV show 65 MI6 member 66 Low on word count Down 1 Lighter brand 2 Mont. neighbor 3 Diarist Anais 4 “Saturday Night Live” announcer 5 Subjects of watches and warnings 6 Veselin Topalov’s game 7 Fishing gear

8 “I reckon” 9 Musician who appears in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” 10 Vanzetti’s partner in crime, supposedly 11 Furthest degree 12 Akeelah’s event 13 It includes the brain and spinal cord: abbr. 18 Depilatory brand 19 Cause of some weather conditions 22 Just short 23 Afternoon serving 24 2005 Jake Gyllenhaal movie 25 Territory-marking stuff 26 Ginormous 27 Rapper with her own UPN show 28 Hoover, for one 30 Pickling fluid 33 Announcement in some card games 36 Like Bluetooth equipment 37 Make immobile, as a blizzard 38 Element of old burlesque strip teases 39 Round ‘do 40 Anago, in Japanese cuisine 43 Reed in a music store 44 Directional suffix 47 Boxing moves 48 Feeling during an upheaval 50 With 53-down, allergic reaction 51 Deep 53 See 50-down 54 On the ___ vive 55 German connection? 56 Author Umberto 57 Out of date, in a dict. 58 Second-greatest player of all time, in a 1997 “Hockey News” vote 59 Lo-___ graphics 60 Wonder-ful feeling? answers pg. 16

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n the 1950s a team of scientists named Masters and Johnson went to work collecting data on what happens to our bodies during sex. They hooked their subjects up to instruments to collect data on physiological changes and interpreted this data to come up with a model called the Sexual Response Cycle. Their original model, later revised by Helen Kaplan and the one we describe below, outlines a linear progression of sexual response. Current researchers are finding sexual response to be more circular or cyclic in nature. We’ve tried to weave these new findings into this classic model. DESIRE / MOTIVATION The first stage of the sexual response cycle happens in your mind, when something or someone awakens desire within you. Simply put, sexual desire is thinking or fantasizing about sex and yearning for sex between sexual encounters. Traditionally, this has been based on a biological perspective of sexual urge. Researchers are discovering that there are many other motivations for being sexual than just spontaneous sex drive or sexual hunger. Other factors that effect drive are intimacy needs, desire to express love, to share physical pleasure, and to increase emotional closeness with a partner. If the desire experienced is perceived as being positive, it affects the next stage of response. EXCITEMENT / AROUSAL Whatever the cause — the steamy movie you’re watching, the cutie you’re kissing, or the smell of a perfume your lover wears — it’s got your heart pumping faster, your blood pressure and possibly other things on the rise. The second stage of the sexual response cycle, excitement, is when your brain sends a message to your body to begin responding physically to desire or stimulation. The heart pumps faster to send more blood to the penis, clitor is, nipples, vulva and testes, making them darker in color. Women ex per ience vaginal lubrication, and the vagina expands. Some people experience a “sex f lush” a blushing that can appear on the face chest, neck and breasts. How long does excitement last? That depends on you! It could be less than a minute, or over several hours. Arousal is not simply a physiological response, and is influenced by how your brain is interpreting stimuli. This interpretation can be negative or positive, and will have an effect on your process of arousal. PLATEAU During the plateau your heart rate and breathing stabilize at a heightened level, or may continue to increase, providing that your desire and arousal have been maintained with positive physical, emotional and mental feedback. Extending the plateau stage of sexual response can sometimes lead to more intense orgasms.

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When excitement begins to build higher during the plateau, your body is preparing for orgasm. If arousal or desire decline during the plateau, you may have difficulty reaching orgasm, and your body may return to a non-aroused state. ORGASM All this time tension has been building in your body. Orgasm is the shortest phase of the Sexual Response Cycle and it’s when all that tension is released through “rhythmic muscle contractions” (in the testicles, uterus, anus etc.) and the release of endorphins (chemicals in your brain that make you feel goooood). Scientists found that men and women describe the experience of orgasm in very similar ways. However, there are some differences. Usually men ejaculate when they have an orgasm, although sometimes men orgasm without ejaculating. Men have to go through a refractory period before being able to ejaculate again, while some women are capable of having multiple orgasms. During the refractory period, a man is physiologically unable to attain another erection. About 10% of women ejaculate when they orgasm. RESOLUTION If there is no more stimulation then the body will begin going back to its unexcited state with normal heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure. Usually if a person has had an orgasm, resolution happens quickly. If there was no orgasm it can take all that extra blood your heart was pumping into your genitals a while longer to go back where it came from. This can cause mild discomfort in men and women and is the reason behind what’s commonly called “blue balls”. Few people realize that women experience the same thing. Unfortunately we don’t have a term like “blue vulva” to explain it to our partners. (Until now!)

SEX 411 •

Many people put heavy emphasis on one phase of the cycle: Orgasm. This is unfortunate because not everyone reaches orgasm every time they have sex. It can be helpful to focus on enjoying the whole experience (total body sensation) and let go of the idea that orgasm is the destination of each sexual encounter. Thoughts, feelings, mental excitement, physical response, cultural beliefs, attitudes, and learned inhibitions all shape sexual response.

Kim Rice and Kate Ruin are professional sex educators. Send them your sex questions, rants and raves to riceandruin@yahoo.com

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I DON’T WANT TO ACHIEVE IMMORTALITY THROUGH MY WORK, I WANNA ACHIEVE IT BY NOT DYING.

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free will astrology MAY 18 — MAY 24 ARIES

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

The general consensus is that Americans are getting dumber. A recent study, for instance, reported that more people can name the characters in The Simpsons TV show than know the rights guaranteed by the First Amendment. Yet an article by Malcolm Gladwell in The New Yorker notes that Americans’ I.Q. scores have been steadily rising for a long time--so much so that a person whose I.Q. placed her in the top ten percent of the population in 1920 would be in the bottom third today. One possible explanation: Our “growing stupidity” may better be described as a difficulty keeping up with the ever-growing mass of facts, whereas we’re actually becoming better at solving problems. That’s a key issue in my advice to you, Aries. You’re in a phase that’s favorable for upgrading your intelligence--by which I mean improving your problem-solving skills, not accumulating more facts.

“We should take astrology seriously,” says zoologist Richard Dawkins. “No, I don’t mean we should believe in it. I am talking about fighting it seriously instead of humoring it as harmless fun.” In his view, astrology is a bogus discipline that fosters superstition and undermines clear thinking. Opposing Dawkins’ perspective was that of seminal psychologist Carl Jung, one of the 20th century’s greatest thinkers. “Astrology represents the summation of all the psychological knowledge of antiquity,” he wrote. He routinely used astrological birth charts to help understand his psychotherapy patients. Dawkins and Jung can’t both be right, can they? I suggest you entertain the possibility that they are, Scorpio. In fact, try this dual approach with every major idea you care about. Experiment with what happens when you assume that both sides of every story have a piece of the truth.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

March 21 – April 19

This is a time when you must put one concern above all others: being true to yourself. Don’t you dare elevate other people’s needs above your own. Don’t you dare let their guilt trips manipulate you into watering down your interesting quirks. You have simply got to devote yourself exuberantly to your idiosyncratic dreams. You owe it to yourself to learn all you can about your innermost secrets and ripening mysteries. You need to be ingeniously obsessed with serving your deepest, wildest, most noble longings.

“It is not possible to get the blessing without the madness,” wrote Norman O. Brown in his book Apocalypse and/or Metamorphosis. “It is not possible to get the illuminations without the derangement.” His words ring true for you right now, Gemini. Lately you’ve been pursuing (and getting pursued by) wickedly twisted yet fertile opportunities, and now you’re near the climax of the madness and derangement. Next stop: blessings and illuminations.

CANCER

July 23 – Aug. 22

Even if you’re in your twenties or thirties or forties now, someday you’ll be an elder. At that time you will be in a position to guide and inspire younger people with the wisdom you’ve gathered. Obsessions that motivated you at an earlier age will have become irrelevant to you. You will have learned to move with relative grace in and out of periods of darkness and uncertainty. You’ll be less inclined to look back toward your own personal childhood and more oriented toward the future of your immortal soul, of your family, and of the human race. In the coming days, you have an excellent opportunity to tune in to the elder you will ultimately become. The veils between now and then are lifting. You have the power to prophesy your own evolution.

VIRGO

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

LIBRA

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

When lightning strikes a human being, it’s usually bad news. Not so in the case of a man from Maine named John Corson. After experiencing a whitish-blue bolt shoot through his body during a thunderstorm, he testified that his health became better than it had been in a long time. “I feel lighter and 100 years younger,” he marveled. I predict a comparable (though less shocking) rejuvenation for you, Virgo. What you’re going through or about to go through might cause a breakdown in some people, but for you it will lead to a breakthrough.

“Dear Rob: In my dream last night, it was my wedding day and I was flying like a superhero over hills made of millions of jewels and jelly beans. My superhero sweetie was soaring alongside me, and we were headed toward an ocean-side amusement park with a futuristic theme. Unfortunately, we overshot our landing and ended up plunging into the sea. Fortunately, we could breathe underwater just fine. We swam down to a superhero convention that was taking place in a museum on the ocean floor. When we arrived, we were given a wedding cake shaped like a giant key. What does my dream mean? Mind-Boggled Libra.” Dear Boggled: Like many members of the Libran tribe, you’re currently enjoying tremendous opportunities to blend adventure and intimacy. Your dream reflects how wide open your imagination is to the possibilities.

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An old African proverb says that cattle are wealth, and there are no cattle without dung. This idea is applicable to you right now. The source of your greatest riches has produced some waste matter that needs to be cleaned up. Ironically, if you act expeditiously, the waste matter could be turned into more riches. Take a hint from the Masai people, who use cattle dung as plaster in building their homes. The scent helps repel lions, who dislike it, from venturing too close.

June 21 – July 22

According to the Bible, Jehovah gave Adam the job of bestowing names on everything. But in Ursula Le Guin’s story “She Unnames Them,” Eve decides to reverse her mate’s work. She yearns to return to a primordial state when the misunderstandings caused by words no longer stand between her and the rest of creation. So she unnames all the animals, from the sea otters to the bees. When she’s done, she marvels on how they feel “far closer than when their names had stood between myself and them like a clear barrier.” Take your inspiration from Eve, Cancerian. Bypass the ideas and language you use to cage your raw experience, and instead commune with the primal essence of everything.

LEO

Did you know there are about 200 mass protests in China every day? The Chinese people’s enthusiasm for righteous complaining puts the rest of us to shame. How could we have become so passive in the face of all the crazy injustices that are going on in the world? I exhort you Sagittarians to rouse us out of our collective apathy. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’re currently the astrological sign with the most potential to unleash constructive criticism.

Albert Lexie has shined shoes at Pittsburgh’s Children’s Hospital since 1982. From the beginning, he has taken portions of his meager earnings and contributed them to a fund for sick kids who are poor. Recently his donations topped the $100,000 mark. He’s your role model, Aquarius. The astrological omens reveal you will have everything going for you if you choose this time to launch a long, slow ascent toward a goal that may now seem improbable.

PISCES

Feb. 19 – March 20

Excessive consumption of junk food has contributed to rising obesity levels in humans. Now wildlife experts report that bears are suffering a similar fate. The animals are so fond of the greasy, sugary scraps they scrounge at campsites and dumpsters that many are getting fat. The weight gain has had a surprising side effect: Many female bears are giving birth to three cubs at a time instead of one or two. You can draw metaphorical guidance from this vignette as you meditate on your own life, Pisces. Is there an instinctual part of you that has become overly fond of artificial sustenance and clever but worthless confections? If so, has this caused changes in your creative expression? I’m not accusing, just asking. In any case, it’s high time to give the wild woman or wild man within you some gourmet soul food. Homework: Talk about the things you’d do if you lived for a week without consuming any TV, videos, websites, radio, films, newspapers, or magazines. Write: www.freewillastrology.com.

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HE IS ALIVE, BUT ONLY IN THE SENSE THAT HE CAN’T BE LEGALLY BURIED.

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LIKES AND GRIPES LET IT OUT

CHRISTINA LEUNG Photo editor GRIPES 1. Rain: HATE IT ... especially when it starts flooding near the Quad. Forty-five degrees Fahrenheit in May is already not cool. Plus the rain? Yuck. 2. Summer school: Seven hours of class in one day is such a pain. I admire professors that can keep on talking for hours while half of the class is asleep though. 3. New Apple commercial: Have you guys seen that “Hi, I’m PC, and I’m Mac” commercial? What’s up with that? Dude, face it, PCs are better!

BRITTANY BINDRIM Art director GRIPES 1. Slinkys: They really aren’t that much fun. But they can go down some stairs. Yay.... 2. The government’s alleged compiling of phone records: How is this not a violation of privacy for the National Security Agency to take phone records from telephone companies? 3. TV Commercials featuring men and meat: Restaurant commercials such as Burger King and Chili’s (spelling?) have recently been trying to associate men with meat such as ribs, sausage, and large hamburgers to buy more of their meals. Therefore, if you are a real man, you eat BEEF! “Grunt, man eat meat!”

TODD SWISS Editor in chief LIKES 1. Getting packages: There is only one thing that is better than waiting for a package to come in the mail, when it shows up at the doorstep. 2. Raid ant traps: The ants in my apartment need to die and these wonderfully poisonous traps do the job quite suffiently. 3. Steak ‘n Shake cheese fries: There is nothing better than the ridiculously thin and potato-less fries dipped in nacho cheese sauce ... just ignore the heartburn.

TATYANA SAFRONOVA Community editor LIKES 1. The Portuguese language: It sounds like an unlikely combination between Polish and Spanish. And there are so many amazing songs in Portugese! It’s ear candy, really. 2. Duct tape creations: My friends have made flowers, a pirate hat, a pillow, and a tie for me out of duct tape. I can’t deal with how cool all of it looks, especially in different colors. 3. Tea: Oh tea, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways ...

BRANDON OSWALD Copy editor LIKES 1. Ben & Jerry’s Oatmeal Cookie Chunk Ice Cream: Clearly the best food product since the dawn of time, this hardcore tasty ice cream (a fiendishly addictive blend of cinnammon ice cream, oatmeal chunks, and chocolate chunks) is so good that it made me come. Twice. 2. Cucumbers and Count Chocula: I’m not really even a food guy, yet here we are again. A well-dressed man I know suggested that I give this delightful combination a try, and I’m that much better and happier a person for having listened. It’s the new peanut butter and jelly, I tell you. 3. Super Furry Animals: I’m talking about the band which A) Hails from Wales; and B)Wails a whole lot of ass. Check out dynamite albums Radiator and Guerrilla to get some of the best summer albums of all time. Chupacabras, brain tumors, and homework might not sound like the best topics for sugary, psych-techno, indie rock, but these guys make them shits work like you can’t begin to imagine. They sound like the best party you’ve never been to, so give a listen.

ELYSE RUSSO Arts editor GRIPES 1. The crappy weather: It is May, isn’t it? During finals week the sun was shining and now that the semester is over the weather sucks. 2. Lost, Season 2 DVDs: Yeah, I checked at Best Buy and Season 2 of Lost doesn’t come out until October 3rd! As if! 3. Starbucks Coffee Lids: Now I love Starbucks coffee, but the lids on the hot drinks always seem to spill out coffee on me. Now I don’t think I’m that accident prone, so Starbucks, I think you could afford to invest in some higher quality coffee lids.

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INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Employment 000 020

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400

APARTMENTS

410

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1 Bedroom 407 E. University, fully equipped- microwave, washer/dryer in-unit. Security building with elevator. Balconies, underground parking. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012 1 bedroom lofts $535 2 bedrooms $575 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $925 Campus, parking. Spring ‘06, 367-6626

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

410

Furnished/Unfurnished

105 E. CLARK & 105 E. WHITE, C Aug 2006. Attractive modern lofts. D/W, disposal, window a/c, ceiling fans, patio/balconies, laundry, parking, 2nd Floor skylights. Rents from $360 to $465/mo. $50/mo. to furnish. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

410

Available Fall 2006. 1 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup95.com

706 S. WALNUT, U Aug 2006. 1 bdrms from $485/mo. 2 bdrms from $515/mo. Central A/C, Laundry. Parking. Furnished $50/mo. Shown 7 days/k. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $395 2 BR. $495 3 BR. $750 4 BR $855 Campus. 367-6626.

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

609 W. MAIN, U.

1006 S. 3RD, C. August 2006. 1 bedrooms. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Available Now 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

503- 505- 508 E. White Fall 2006. 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kyle, 202-7240. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

410

Near Grainger, Spacious studios and 2 bedrooms, ethernet, parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

212 E. John 1 bedroom apartment, furnished and A/C for Fall. Includes Water, Free Parking, No Pets. $460/mo. 3525207

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

410

Aug 2006. Close to Frat Park. Efficiencies from $425/mo. Ethernet available. Central A/C, Storage units, Laundry. Parking $60/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

105 E. GREEN, C Aug 2006. Studio Apts. Wall A/C units, Laundry, Ethernet avail. From $310/mo. Parking $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

106 DANIEL, C. For August 2006. 1 bedroom apartments. Ethernet available. Some townhouses. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

106 E. STOUGHTON, C Aug 2006. 1 Bdrms near Engineering campus. Wall A/C, Parking. Rent $425/mo. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1107 S. EUCLID, C Aug 2006. Near Armory, IMPE and Snack Bar. Window A/C, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Rents from $395/mo. Parking $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com Available June 1- Studios 1 bedroom • 2 bedroom• 3 bedroom www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS Furnished

420

420

2 BEDROOMS 1009 W. Clark, U. $620 604 W. Stoughton, U. $860 910 Weber, U. $530

307 & 310 E. WHITE 307 & 309 CLARK Fall 2006 Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup.com 352-3182

311 E. WHITE, C Avail Aug 2006. Large efficiencies close to Beckman Center. From $340/mo. Parking avail at $35/mo. Window A/C, carpet, Ethernet avail. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

502 E. HEALEY, C August 2006. JUST REMODELEDTOP TO BOTTOM!!!! NEW NEW NEW!!!! The BEST LOCATED EFFICIENCIES & 1 BEDROOMS on campus- period. Here's the best part: Efficiencies $385/mo & 1 bedrooms $550/mo. Ethernet avail. Parking avail. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2006, Large 1 bedroom, furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

508, 510, & 512 E. STOUGHTON, C. Aug 2006. Huge 2 bdrms. Close to Engineering & C/S. A/C, Laundry, Ethernet available. Parking $55/mo. Rent from $495/mo. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

APARTMENTS Furnished

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

Smith Apartments 384-1925

1007 S. FIRST, C Aug 2006. Near First and Gregory. 2 bedroom apts from $625/mo. Ethernet available, Window A/C, Carpet, Laundry. Parking $40/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

103 E. DANIEL, C

Fall 2006. Efficiencies. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS Furnished

Aug. 2006. 2 bdrm Townhouses Furnished $600/mo, Unfurnished $580/mo. 2 bdrm apts Furnished $525/mo. 1 bdrm apts Furnished $470/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

509 Stoughton

EXECUTIVE LOFT 201 S. Wright St., Champaign. Adjacent to Engineering campus. Loft bedroom, security parking, balcony, A/C, laundry. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

420

Furnished

1005 S. SECOND, C

105 E. JOHN

RESTAURANT ASSISTANT MANAGER ON-CAMPUS (Crew + driver members also) Full time summer, part time fall. Flexible hrs. Fun outdoor music catering events, too! Call 351-3551.

Apartments

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APARTMENTS

420

506 E. Stoughton, C. For August 2006. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

506 E. Stoughton, C. For August 2006. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 E. White, C. August 2006. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 W. MAIN, U. Aug 2006. 1 BR apts. From $400/mo. Laundry, window A/C, Parking avail at $35/mo. Ethernet available. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

807-809 W. ILLINOIS, U Aug 2006. 1 Bdrms corner of Lincoln & Illinois. Window A/C, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Rent $550/mo. Parking $45/mo. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 901 Main Street 3 Bedroom $975, Studio $450- all utilities included. 2 Bedroom- $650. 201 Busey 3 Bedroom $975, 1 Bedroom $550 503 W. Green Street Efficiency $400, 1 Bedroom $550heat included Doyle Properties 398-DOYL

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URBANA LOCATIONS: 1005 E. Colorado: $425 UF 1 bdrm., apts at the corner of Colorado and Cottage Grove. Newly remodeled units with new flooring, cabinets, appliances, A/C. On the busline, just 1 1/2 miles away from campus. Great location for grad students. Security locked building. Water, sewer and hauling paid. Parking available.

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CHAMPAIGN LOCATIONS: 56/58 E. Healey: $400-$450 F 1 bdrm. apts at corner of Healey and First Street. Many units remodeled, some with dishwashers. Security locked building, on site laundry. Rent includes heat. Parking availa ble.

Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

512 E. Clark: $360-$370 F efficiency apts., at corner of Clark and Sixth Street. Large units with double closets. Water included. Parking available.

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702 W. WESTERN, U Aug 2006. 1 bdrms, Window A/C, carpet/tile floors, laundry. Parking avail. Rent from $410 to $535/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. FIRST, C Aug 2006. Half block south of Green. 1 bdrm from $415/mo. 2 bdrms from $490/mo. Window A/C, Ethernet avail. Parking at $40/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Deluxe 2 BR Townhouses 206 E. Green, C. 1 Free Parking Space New Energy Efficient A/C and Heat Ethernet Access $380/mo/person Call 621-3430

THE GEORGIAN 1005 S. SIXTH, C Aug 2006. Next to UI Library. 1 bedrooms from $460 to $550/mo. Laundry, Window A/C, Carpet. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Furnished

ABOVE JIMMY JOHN’S ON LINCOLN 805 S. Lincoln, U Aug 2006. Ceiling fans, ethernet avail, window A/C. Efficiencies from $500/mo, 1 bedrooms from $545/mo. 7 days a week showing. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

ARBOR APARTMENTS, C. Aug 2006. 1 bdrms at Third & Gregory across from Snack Bar. Window A/C, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Rents from $390/mo. Parking $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

705 W. Stoughton 3 bedroom apartment Spacious living area. Communal balcony & great backyard. Plus a bar area in kitchen. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

JOHN & LOCUST, C Aug 2006. Huge one bdrms, Ethernet avail, Window A/C. Rents from $370/mo. Parking $20/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

ENGINEERING CAMPUS Efficiency w/ pkg, A/C Avail. Fall 2006, $370/mo. The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

GREAT VALUE

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2006. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, furnished, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $595/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished

JOHN RANDOLPH ATRIUM UTILITIES INCLUDED Avail. January & August 2006. Close to Campus. 4 bedroom apts. with Disposal, Dishwashers, Washer/Dryers in each unit, Ethernet access, Central A/C. Handicap accessible. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

430

APARTMENTS Unfurnished

1 BLOCK FROM LINCOLN Eff & 1 BR’s w/pkg, laundry $365 - $690/mo. Avail Fall The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

115 W. WASHINGTON, U. Aug 2006. 1 bdrms. Window A/C, Laundry. From $340/mo. to $475/mo. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

722 S. BROADWAY, U. Aug 2006. 1 bdrm apts close to Campus. Window A/C. Rents $430/mo. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

430

APARTMENTS

Old Town Champaign

306-308-309 White August 2006. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

420

APARTMENTS

Unfurnished

205 E. HEALEY, C Aug 2006. Huge 1 bdrm apts. Window A/C, Ethernet available. Parking $40/mo. Rents starts at $435/mo. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 1 BR. Duplex For Rent. Available June 1. Near Bus, Urbana Annette 377-9079

Park Like Setting 2 BR avail. Fall 2006 laundry, A/C $480-560/mo. The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 217-384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

SUBLETS

440

Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550/mo. 367-6626. Cheap, 4 BR. $1600/WHOLE summer. 2 bath, Green St. behind Station. Clean. Free Covered Parking. zhilau@uiuc.edu. 217-898-3809. Single Apartment for Summer at Melrose. Price Negotiable. 618-3224396.

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

510

2 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2006. 367-6626.

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished

420

Furnished

APARTMENTS Furnished

510

1, 2, 3 bedroom houses, condos, and duplexes for rent. Great Champaign Location. Many amenities W/D, A/C, etc. 637-0806. Eight to Nine Bedroom, $2700 2 Bedroom, $695-$725 367-6626

GREAT LOCATION 2 BR, hwd, garage, A/C $875/mo. @ 116 W. Vermont, U The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 217-384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com 2606 E. Florida, U. Beautiful new house, hardwood floors, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, 2 car garage, 6 minutes from campus, W/D, dishwasher , C/A, satellite TV, wireless internet, lots of street parking. Available now or fall. $1800/summer including utilities. $1200/Fall/mo. 3695300

HOUSES

510

South of West Side Park 4 BR, 2 BA, Hwd floors, A/C Laundry, garage, $1,000/mo. Avail. Fall The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 217-384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

ROOMS

530

1 BR in 4 BR apartment. $350/mo. 367-6626. Room in Urbana house walking distance from quad. $250/mo. Call 6491767.

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

AL

DE GR EAT

Remodeled Apartments near downtown Urbana 305 W. Elm, U - 2BR plus study New kitchen, A/C, pkg, deck/patio Avail. July or August 2006 @ $650/mo.

The Weiner Companies, Ltd. • 217-384-8018 • www.weinercompanies.com

APARTMENTS

HOUSES

19

420

HOUSES

510

HOUSES

510

NOW LEASING FOR FALL, 2006 JTS Properties - 328-4284

1 bedroom, near campus $345/mo. 367-6626 2 roommates for furnished 4 bedroom house. $420/mo, utilities included. 630-479-6881. bmeador@uiuc.edu. Near Campus, $350/ mo. 3676626. Off-campus, University Fields apartment. $515/mo. all inclusive. Share 4 bedroom, 4 bath with three males. Call Angela, (847)414-0264, aturk@uiuc.edu

905 W. Main, U. 2 bedroom, 1 bath, w/d, pets welcome, & off-street parking. $750/mo 105 N. Coler, U. 4+ bedroom, 2 bath, hardwood floors, w/d, CA, off-street parking w/garage. $1500/mo 502 S. Broadway, U. 5 bedroom, 2 bath w/enclosed front porch, fenced in yar, w/d & pets w/deposit, garage, $1300/mo 29 E. John, C. 5 bedroom, 2 bath, hardwood floors, w/d, off-street parking, $2000/mo 505 E. Elm, U. 4 bedroom, 2 bath, w/d, pets w/deposit, off-street parking, $1000/mo

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NOW HIRING GRAPHIC DESIGNERS for FALL 2006 Student Graphic Designers Prefer Experience in Adobe Creative Suite InDesign :: PhotoShop :: Illustrator Great portfolio-building experience working for a variety of clients. Create ads for print and online as well as marketing materials at our new location in campus town: 512 Green Street.

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Buzz Magazine: May 18, 2006  

May 18, 2006