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What’s Happening in Urbana

New Balance Urbana

Š 2003 New Balance Shoe, Inc.

Come To The New Balance Store

Full Line of NB Shoes & Apparel N is for fit, not fashion. N is for technology, not gimmickry. N is for sticking to your principles. Real shoes engineered for real athletes. In multiple widths, not just multiple sizes. N is for New Balance. Find the perfect fit at New Balance Urbana.

Build Urbana Home Parade March 14 and 15 1-4 p.m. Open houses throughout Urbana The Boneyard Arts Festival April 15 & 16 An annual event hosted by 40 North and supported by the UBA.Visual artists, musicians and other performers come out of the wood work and Urbana, Champaign and Campus come alive. Market At The Square May 14 through November Saturdays from 7a.m. to noon Southeast corner of the parking lot at Lincoln Square Vendors from all over the state of Illinois come to this large open air market to share the freshest home grown produce, local honey, baked goods, hand-crafted items, plants & flowers and much more! With over 100 vendors, the market supports local farmers, and allows people to eat healthy and enjoy themselves every Saturday morning! The Great Race June 28 Downtown Urbana The largest, longest-running road rally comes through town on their coast-to-coast race.There will be vintage cars on display, live musical entertainment, and a sure good time for all!

BUY SELL TRADE

CDs LPs DVDs

110 S. Race St. Urbana 367-7927

www.recordswap.com

30th Annual Sweetcorn Festival August 26 and 27th Downtown Urbana The businesses and citizens of Urbana, Illinois, invite you to the streets of Downtown Urbana for Champaign County's oldest and largest festival VOTED THE BEST FESTIVAL IN URBANA-CHAMPAIGN, 2002. For over a quarter century the Urbana Sweetcorn Festival has brought thousands of friends, families, entertainers and vendors to Main Street to share in the best that traditional, small town America has to offer. 4th Annual Beer and Chili Cook-Off October 1 Downtown Urbana Over 1,500 attendees can sample 14 different kinds of chili and 150 specialty and import beers. Music is provided all day to for participant's enjoyment. Awards will be presented for best chili, people's choice, and showmanship.

Feature YOUR Urbana business here. Call 337-8382 for details.

Street Theater Festival Date To Be Announced Downtown Urbana The day the street becomes the stage. Every year, the Prompting Theater, along with area businesses, sponsor the Street Theater Festival full of a day of laughter and family fun in downtown Urbana. Downtown restaurants offer refreshments, regional performing groups keep the crowds fixated, and visitors can try their hand at stilt walking, tightrope walking, juggling, and the ever popular sword fighting.

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DON’T JUDGE MY DESIGN SKILLS WITH THE COVER...IT’S MIMICKING THEIR WEBSITE!

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INTRO

editor’s note This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Sh!ts and giggles News of the weird • Chuck Shephard First things first • Michael Coulter The local sniff • Seth Fein

AROUND TOWN Insomnia Cookies • Angela Loiacono Life in Hell • Matt Groening q + a with Timothy Twedt

M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

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M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

LISTEN, HEAR Menomena speaks • Logan Moore Keller Williams interview • Susan Schomburg Keller Williams review • Susan Schomburg Buzz/WPGU Local Music Awards Nominees Sound Ground #65 • Todd J. Hunter The Hurly-Burley • Logan Moore Dusting for Vomit #1 with Shipwreck Buzz concert picks

MAIN EVENT Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT The art of walking • Emily Cotterman March Krannert Preview • Jeff Nelson Artist’s Corner with Kyle Forneris Written in Stone • Maureen Gombas (Th)ink • Keef Knight

WINE + DINE Wine and Food A to Z • Amanda Kolling

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Employment 000 010

HELP WANTED Full Time

DIRECTOR

Home Hi, a private middle school for girls (40- 50 students) in Urbana, IL is seeking a Director. Applicants should have extensive teaching experience at the elementary or secondary level. The Director will manage the daily operations of the school and be in charge of short- and longrange planning. For more information, see www.homehi.org. Send cover letter, resume, and the names of three references to Linda Buzard, 604 S. Cedar St., Urbana, IL 61801 or email buzards@aol.com

Merchandise 200 TICKETS

270

STYX/REO. 2 in Section B, Row 2. spruitt@uiuc.edu/

Transportation 300 AUTOMOBILES

310

Apartments

400 410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished 1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626

Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626. BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626. Available Jan 05 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626

RATES:

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

1006 S. 3RD, C.

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

203 S. Sixth. C.

For August 2005. Large 3, 4 bedrooms, 2 baths. Balconies, laundry, covered parking. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

207- 211 JOHN

Fall 2005 Prime Campus Location 2, 3 Bedrooms THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

307 & 310 E. White 307 & 309 Clark

Fall 2005. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Secured building. Available June 1 and August ‘05. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

605 S. Fifth, C.

Fall 2005 5th and Green location Outdoor activity area. 1 bedrooms available. Garage off-street parking. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $525/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free. Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

AP News Bob n’ Dave • Dave King

WESTGATE

APARTMENTS

• Clean 1 & 2 Bedrooms • Superior • Dependable, 24hr. management NOW LEASING maintenance • Short-term Leases FOR FALL • Free Parking • 24 Hour Courtesy • On Busline Gate House

359-5330 359-5330

Hours: M-F 9-5 Sat 9-1 • www.westgateapts.net I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

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SUBLETS Summer Only

1 BR apt. Brand new. 701 S Gregory. $325/mo. Water and parking included. Furnished. 217-721-0772

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

1005 S. SECOND, C

Efficiencies. Available now and Fall 2005. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Billed rate: 35¢/word

CLASSIFIEDS

420

Furnished

506 E. Stoughton, C

For August 2005. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

GREAT HOMES FOR GROUPS Visit www.cu-homes.com or call 217-766-5108.

509 E. White, C.

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

602 E. Stoughton

Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2005, Large 1 bedroom furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

www.lookatusedcars.com

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Man of the House review • Matt Pais Loos Ends • John Loos Film Photo Poll The Merchant of Venice review • Matt Pais Because of Winn-Dixie review • Randy Ma Movie time listings Drive Through Reviews Slowpoke • Jen Sorenson

APARTMENTS

503- 505- 508 E. White

DEADLINE:

THE SILVER SCREEN

buzz weekly •

IF MY LAST NAME WAS VOYANT, I’D BE CLAIRE VOYANT.

PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

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JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available. Call Chad at 344-9157 THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

3 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 kitchens in quiet Champaign neighborhood. On busline, W/D, central air, garage. $950/mo. 352-9815

ROOM & BOARD

540

Want community? Homemade meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

Personals

900

brighten someone’s thursday...

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS

307- 309 Healey Court. Fall 2005. Behind Gully’s. 2 bedrooms. Ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

105 E. John

Available Fall 2005. 1& 2 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished 515 W. Washingtion, C. Newly remodeled, 1 BR, Now available. $395/mo. Near dowtown Champaign. 352-8540. www.faronproperties.com

CONVENIENT ONE BEDROOMS

Conveniently located near downtown Champaign, 1 BR apartments available February 1. From $360/mo. 352-8540, 355-4608. www.faronproperties.com

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Russia’s super missiles STEVE GUTTERMAN

AP STAFF WRITER

MOSCOW (AP) -- Russia will develop missiles impervious to any defense, Defense Minister Sergei Ivanov said Tuesday in an apparent allusion to the nascent U.S. missile defense system. A year ago, President Vladimir Putin said Russia could build unrivaled new strategic weapons, and in November he said it is developing a new nuclear missile system unlike any weapon other countries have or could come up with in the near future. Ivanov suggested the weapons would be based on the mobile version of the Russian Topol-M intercontinental ballistic missiles and on a new sea-based system, the Bulava, according to Interfax news agency. “There is not and will not be any defense against these missiles,” he said, according to Interfax. The Topol-M can hit targets more than 6,000 miles away, and has been in silos since 1998, with about 40 on duty now, according to military officials. Military officials have said they plan to begin deploying the mobile version this year. Ivanov said the missiles would be for defense and not be intended for use against any country, but he added that “Russia is stretched across 10 times zones, we have many neighbors, and not all of them are as predictable as European states,” according to Interfax. In December, Putin encouraged the Defense Ministry to keep up production of new strategic missile systems, a process slowed in the past by a shortage of funds. “Russia will ... remain a major nuclear power,” Ivanov said, according to Interfax. “But we will not bake missiles like pies.Their quantity should be such that it allows for the provision of our own security in any potential development of the international situation.” Russia opposed Washington's withdrawal in 2002 from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty in order to deploy a national missile defense shield, saying the 30-year-old U.S.Soviet pact was a key element of international security. Russian officials subsequently tempered their criticism. Putin said it was a “mistake” that would hurt global security but not threaten Russia. The ABM treaty banned missile defense systems on the assumption that the fear of retaliation would prevent each nation from launching a first strike-a strategy known as mutually assured destruction. The Bush administration has said its prospective missile defense system would be aimed against potential missile threats from nations such as Iraq or North Korea and would be unable to fend off a massive nuclear strike Russia is capable of launching.

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place a buzz personal (217) 337.8337

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I HAVE NEVER LIED TO YOU, I HAVE ALWAYS TOLD YOU SOME VERSION OF THE TRUTH.

MA R . 3

M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

BOOGEYMAN 1.5 stars

Barry Watson & Charles Mesure It was only a matter of time before somebody would come out with a film based on that scary creature underneath the bed or in the closet. The few scares Boogeyman provides are not worth the frustration of the rest of the film. (David Just) COACH CARTER 3.5 stars

Samuel L. Jackson & Ashanti It is predictable, a tad cliche, and it relies on some familiar techniques seen over and over again in sports films. But Coach Carter achieves exactly what it sets out to do. It is a magical story with a surprising and all too perfect ending. (David Just) CONSTANTINE 1.5 stars

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HITCH 2.5 STARS Will Smith and Eva Mendes Hitch is high-concept Hollywood fluff, yet, for the most part, it works because of its focus on chivalry and love and not sex and debauchery. There’s also a perfect niche for Hitch as a movie that, like an issue of Cosmo, can both entertain and court women, while teaching guys a few things about falling in love. (Matt Pais) MILLION DOLLAR BABY 3 STARS

Clint Eastwood & Hilary Swank It does take an unexpectedly dark twist toward the end that should knock most viewers back a few steps. Yet, Million Dollar Baby never swings hard enough to send you reeling. It’s enough to win a judge’s decision, but it’s no knockout. (Matt Pais) THE WEDDING DATE .5 star

Debra Messing & Dermot Mulroney The Wedding Date is another movie where being single is a curse, and heaven help you if you haven’t landed a man by your mid-30s. It’s as much fun as getting left at the altar and just as romantic. (Matt Pais)

Keanu Reeves & Rachel Weisz Overlong, overdone and overly plotted, Constantine is more of an anti-smoking commercial than an investiga-

University of Illinois Central Black Student Union Presents

COTTON CLUB 2005 “Escape to Harlem on the Soul Train” Saturday March 5, 2005, 7pm Foellinger Auditorium Hosted by J.J. Williamson of Johnson Family Vacation

Non-Students: $12 in advance $15 @ the door Available @ Illini Union Ticket Central & Assembly Hall Ticket Master 333-5000 For more information contact: Latrina Denson: ldenson@uiuc.edu Markea Haywood: mhaywood@uiuc.edu University of Illinois Residential Life: 333-0770 I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

WHY DO THEY CALL ‘EM PANTIES WHEN THERE’S ONLY ONE?

here are so many clichés about life and how quickly it can change.And how quickly your perspective on it can change. And how life is too short. It moves too quickly. And they always seem, well, cliché. But, of course, your view on these can change in an instant. It really does take only a moment to drastically change your life. A split second. A single thought. One mis-step. A wrong turn. An unfortunate judgment. A good call. A bad call. A gamble. A twist of fate. A word. A song. Anything. Life, as long and hard as it may seem at times, is a fragile thing.The course of your life seems so sure. So set. So routine: Get up, get dressed, go to class or work, come home. Routines are hard to break, and they rarely change. But every so often they do.Whether you want it or not. Be it good or bad. But as Forrest Gump so aptly put it: Shit happens. And things change because of it. On Monday of this week, Benjamin Robin stepped off of the curb with his head down and was struck by an MTD bus not two steps into the road. Immediately people rushed to his side. Cells phones flew out.Ambulances were called. Things were bad. They could have been worse. He was responsive to the paramedics’ questions and was quickly taken to the hospital. But lives were changed. The life of Benjamin Robin was changed drastically. So were the lives of people that saw it happen. So were the lives of the people that rushed to his side without a second thought. So were the lives of passersby that heard the story. So were the lives of people like me who saw the immediate aftermath. Maybe I’m being naïve in thinking that an event like this would actually change anyone’s life. I was there seconds after it happened. I saw all of the aftermath. I was shaken up. But my life went on. Classes continued. People stopped talking about what happened. Buses continued to run. Nothing really changes. But in the back of your head, or at least in the back of mine, perspectives are changed. You’re that much more careful when you cross the street, looking both ways three or four times before rushing to the safety of the other sidewalk. Maybe you hug that someone special just a bit longer. Maybe you call your parents just to say hi. Maybe you grab a drink with your friends to take the edge off. Maybe you call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. Maybe you end a trivial fight. Maybe all those clichés are right. But if this changes you, as it did me, listen to a cliché, and live like each moment is your last. ~ Paul

1.5 STARS Robert DeNiro & Dakota Fanning Hide and Seek relies on a climactic twist to deliver its psychological payoff, but here the major revelation deprives the film of any intellectual insight, not to mention its already-weak grasp on reality. As far as horror movies go, Hide and Seek is pure child’s play. (Matt Pais)

Tickets on Sale Feb. 7 Students: $10 in advance $12 @ the door

M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

HIDE AND SEEK

Christian Slater & Tara Reid With the horrid music, awful writing and B-list casting, Alone in the Dark is not a must-see movie. While the idea may have enticed some film studio execs, it will do little for studio audiences. (Lauren Bridgewater)

EDITOR’S NOTE

tion into the forces that compel people toward good or evil. As far as Christianity-themed films go, it’s less laughable than Heath Ledger’s embarrassing, amateur The Order, but it’s still packed with religious philosophizing that neither its script nor its actors can pull off. (Matt Pais)

ALONE IN THE DARK .5 STARS

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Silver Bullet Bar 1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net 344-0937 BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

buzz weekly •

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Cover Design • Carol “the” Mudra Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Carol Mudra Copy Chief • Stacey Ivanic Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Brian Warmoth Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Susie An Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Adam Obendorf, Sue Janna Truscott, Glenn Cochon, Claire Napier, Hannah Bai, Brittany Bindrim Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner Photography • Sarah Krohn, Adriana D’Onofrio Copy Editors • Jen Hubert, Nellie Waddell Staff Writers • Matt Pais, Randy Ma, Susan Schomburg, John Loos, Todd J. Hunter, Maureen Gombas, Emily Cotterman, Angela Loiacono Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Amanda Kolling, Seth Fein, Logan Moore, Jeff Nelson Production Manager • Jazmyne Jones Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Rory Darnay, Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ e-mail:

buzz@readbuzz.com write:

57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call:

217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

Monday - $2 Domestic Beers Tuesday - $2 Rum & Coke Wednesday - $2.50 Screwdrivers Thurdsday - $2 Amaretto Stone Sours FREE POOL 8PM-9PM FEMALE DANCERS NIGHTLY

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nEwS www.canop yclub.com www.canopy Thursday, Mar ch 3 w. Blue Merle & Michael Tolcher

Friday, M arch 4 - 6 p m! w. Further Seems Forever, Days Away & Jamison Parker

Sunday, M arch 6

Thursday, March 17

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M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

oF thE

LEAD STORY — Homaro Cantu (described by one customer as Chicago’s “mad-scientist� gourmet chef) creates his signature dishes with the help of cutting-edge technology, such as fishless sushi made with edible, fish-flavored paper containing designs produced on an inkjet printer. Among the projects planned for his Moto restaurant: baking with a “class IV� laser (the kind used in welding and surgery) that will cook the center but not the outside; using helium and superconductors to make food levitate; and developing edible utensils, tables and chairs. Said Cantu, to a New York Times reporter in February, “Gastronomy has to catch up to the evolution in technology.�

MORE SCENES OF THE SURREAL (1) In January, Felipe Rose, a member of the Village People musical group and who is part Lakota Sioux, said he felt so remorseful at missing the opening last year of the National Museum of the American Indian that he donated his gold record the group received for the 1978 song “Y.M.C.A.,� which is ostensibly about gay men

wEiRd C A N ’ T P O S S I B LY B E T R U E

— In January, the Fox TV network, concerned about an FCC crackdown on “indecency,� voluntarily blurred out the unclothed rear end of a cartoon character on the adult program “Family Guy� (even though the network had run the same image, intact, five years earlier).Also in January, the Design Review Board of Snohomish, Wash., rejected the mural planned for the side of the BBQ Shack restaurant, in part, reported the owner, because its five pink pigs were naked. — In a stroke of luck, the defense case file of Florida death-row inmate Curtis Beasley, 56, turned up after having been virtually abandoned in a commercial storage locker rented by his courtappointed lawyer, Michael Giordano, who had failed to make payments and had become unreach-

able by state officials. If a storage employee hadn’t called the Florida attorney general’s office in December, the records might have been destroyed. The incident was reported in the Tampa Tribune’s January coverage of state Supreme Court justice Raoul Cantero, who characterized the work of some court-appointed death-penalty attorneys as “some of the worst lawyering I’ve seen.� — News of the Weird reported in September on Koko, the gorilla that knows about a thousand words in American Sign Language, and in February, she was back in the news at her home at the Gorilla Foundation in Woodside, Calif.Two of Koko’s female handlers filed a sex discrimination and wrongful discharge lawsuit against the foundation because its president, Francine Patterson, had allegedly pressured them to display their breasts to Koko in order to better “bond� with her. According to the lawsuit, Patterson herself had been bonding with Koko for quite some time and thought Koko needed a little variety. COPYRIGHT 2004 Chuck Shepherd Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate

Saturday, April 2

w. Hello Dave

Tuesday, April 5

Now open for the 22 Season! ND

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An informed and opinionated look at this week’s events

]

COMPILED BY LOGAN MOORE

Friday, April 8

Friday, March 4th

Friday, April 15

Thursday, A pril 2 1

Spring is on the way!

Up to 145,000 consumers could face identity theft, after background checking company Choice Point recently revealed that it might have accidentally sold personal and financial records to fraud artists behind a nationwide ID theft scheme. In fact, the criminals are so skilled that they are writing this edition of “Shits and Giggles� right now. In a recent L.A. times investigative report it was revealed that President Bush’s uncle, William Bush, has made around $450,000 dollars in profits from the Iraq war as a board member of defense contractors Engineered Support Systems. The president apparently refers to the man as “Uncle Bucky,� which should raise some red flags right there. The word most taxpayers are thinking of sort of rhymes with “Bucky.�

Friday, A pril 2 9

John Popper Project featuring members of

Blues Traveler with DJ Logic Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: The Canopy Club, Family Pride, and Bacca Cigar, or call 1-800-514-ETIX. Or print tickets at home on JayTV.com!

Last week, President Bush made a week-long trip to Europe in a bid for trans-Atlantic unity. He urged Europe to put aside any differences it had with the U.S. and become a “strong partner� in “advancing freedom in the world.� He probably just wanted to offer them a beer and then maybe go back to his place to listen to Brooks & Dunn.

309 W. Kirby, Champaign (across from IGA) 352-2273

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

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M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

In a recent report by the National Conference of State Legislators, a bi-partisan group representing the 50 state legislatures called for an overhaul of the No Child Left Behind act, calling the measure “impractical� and “unconstitutional� for usurping state and local control of public schools. Of course when they say “impractical� and “unconstitutional� what they really mean is “hopeful� and “full of freedom.� Illinois Gov. Rod Blagoyevich has called for much stricter ID theft security measures in the state of Illinois after 5,000 Illinoisians could have had their information sold to criminals as a result of the Choice Point scandal. So expect mysterious charges for “penile enlargement devices� on your credit card, Illinois. Some interesting measures under consideration by the Illinois state legislature this spring include requiring movie theatres to separate the start time of trailers and the actual movie, banning the sale of flavored cigarettes and making the first week of every February “Oprah Winfrey Week.� For those of you in dire need of a flavored cigarette at the prospect of “Oprah Winfrey Week,� condolences are offered.

buzz weekly

YOU TAKE A CHANCE GETTING UP IN THE MORNING, CROSSING THE STREET OR STICKING YOUR FACE IN A FAN.

MATT PAIS • LEAD REVIEWER

chuck shepherd

looking for sex in the big city. (2) In late 2004, officials of the Pere Lachaise cemetery in Paris said they were forced to cordon off the statue of 19thcentury journalist Victor Noir (who was reputed to be quite a ladies’ man) because too many visitors were rubbing Noir’s clothed crotch for good luck.

MA R . 3

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE

Smoking is, as far as I’m concerned, the entire point of being an adult. Many people find smoking objectionable. I myself find many -even more- things objectionable. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs. - Fran Lebowitz.

y o u r e v e r y d a y n e w s but hell, we’re weekly

708 S. Goodwin 18+ Urbana, IL 344-BAND 344-BAND

MA R . 3

THERE IS A BEAST IN MY GUT.

The Merchant of Venice

is a bit of an anomaly in the William Shakespeare canon. It’s not a tragedy—heck, no one even dies—and while there are moments of dry humor, its grim, retributive subject matter is hardly grounds for a comedy. Still, this screen adaptation, written and directed by Michael Radford (Dancing at the Blue Iguana), has plenty of emotional boobytraps and manipulation to compensate for the uncharacteristic lack of either violence or hilarity. Shylock (Al Pacino), a Jewish usurer in 1596 Venice, lends a hefty sum of money to Antonio (Jeremy Irons), a merchant who is representative of the day’s anti-Semitism and has repeatedly shamed his lender. The money goes to Antonio’s dear friend Bassanio (Joseph Fiennes), so he can appear wealthy enough to win the heart of Portia (Lynn Collins), and Shylock loans the money with no interest. There is but one catch: If Antonio fails to return the loan on time, he will sacrifice a pound of his own flesh, which Shylock sees as payback for the public embarrassment he has suffered at the will of Antonio. It’s a tale of religion and revenge, and

Radford wisely downplays the arrangement between Shylock and Antonio, instead allowing anger and mutual resentment to create the suspense in their story. There’s a quiet, yet sinister tone of spiteful prejudice, and it’s no question that Shylock will be quite content to have to deal with an overdue loan. He sets the conditions in hopes that he will have his vengeance; for him, the honor of his faith is more THE MERCHANT OF VENICE • AL PACINO valuable than any amount of money. sations from becoming choppy and verbose, Pacino is powerful and commanding, but the climactic exchange between Shylock though his voice occasionally veers from and Antonio is both chilling and polarizing. elderly, understated Jew into energetic, Like many other Shakespeare stories, The Pacino “Hoo hah!â€? territory. Collins is radi- Merchant of Venice is filled with deception ant as the much-desired Portia, though the and disguise. But unlike the selfish protagofilm never uncovers the mystery behind her nists of classics such as Hamlet or Romeo and seductive, playful personality. And Zuleikha Juliet, the characters here are bound to each Robinson embodies rebellion with a con- other by relationships that they actually, at science as Jessica, Shylock’s daughter who least in theory, hope to honor. Jessica doesruns away with a Christian (Charlie Cox). n’t want her father to know of her relationRadford stages everything amidst glori- ship with Lorenzo, and it is the strong friendous on-location Venice scenery (the rest was ship between Antonio and Bassanio that shot in Luxembourg), and he gives The lends the plot much of its guilt and gravitas. Merchant of Venice a classic, yet somewhat Yet the true fire to The Merchant of more nimble, almost relaxed feel. It doesn’t Venice is the question of what is worth quite have the grandiosity of Kenneth more: money, love, religion or life itself. In Branagh’s Shakespeare adaptations, but it also the end, it’s the law—which can not only doesn’t have Branagh’s stuffiness or the create hate but enforce violence—that notion that the filmmaker would rather leap supercedes in a story in which commitfrom a balcony than lose a line for the pur- ment can be comedic, the loss of one’s faith pose of pacing or brevity. The film moves can be tragic and honor is never for sale. precisely with a rising sense of tension. The actors struggle to keep some of the conver-

BECAUSE OF WINN-DIXIE RANDY MA • STAFF WRITER

B ecause of Winn-Dixie tells the story of a 10-year-old girl, Opal, who moves into a

Florida town with her father. She has no friends and misses her mother, who abandoned her as a child. One day she finds a dog in the Winn-Dixie supermarket and claims him as her own. With the help of her new animal friend they bring back joy to this broken Florida town, rekindling relationships not only with the town folk but her father as well. The movie is sweet; it is charming; it is innocent; it is dull. Based on the novel by Kate Dicamillo, the movie runs like a middle school read: lonely cute girl finds dog that helps her make friends with the eccentric, outcast characters of the town. It’s not a fairy tale, but it’s not exactly reality either.There’s nothing “wrong� with this story, but these kinds of movies have been

BECAUSE OF WINN-DIXIE• ANNA SOPHIA ROBB

done better with more heart and ingenuity. Even more disconcerting is the talent attached to this film. Jeff Daniels plays Opal’s father, a preacher with no flock. He is troubled and alienating himself from a daughter which he loves. Dave Matthews plays the mysterious pet shop owner, Otis, who seems socially inept but has a heart of gold. Finally, Anna Sophia Robb plays Opal in her first film on the big screen. She plays the part fine and has fun, but so does everybody else in the movie. Nothing terrible, nothing great, not much of anything can be said about Because of Winn-Dixie except that it’s cute to watch. Some of the locations in this town are

ludicrous. Gertrude’s Pets, where Otis works, holds parrots, ducks, chickens, rabbits and goats. When is the last time pet shops sold goats? Are there farms in high demand for these animals in Florida? There’s also a Crone who has an enormous tree with what seems like hundreds of bottles hanging from the branches in her back yard. Where does an old hag afford the property for such an enormous amount of land? In the climactic finale, Opal and the Crone hold a lavish party with an endless budget in a town that clearly is in debt. The film was directed by acclaimed director Wayne Wang, who directed an excellent film, The Joy Luck Club.The last two movies he has worked on are this and Maid in Manhattan. This guy needs to get a better agent. He tries so hard and brings great dimension of emotion and sorrow to Because of Winn-Dixie, but it all seems futile. There has to be something better he can do than this. Can someone just throw him a bone? It’s not much to ask. Because of Winn-Dixie isn’t terrible. It adheres to the demographic, but anyone over the age of 13 will find little to enjoy here. Something about a 10-year-old girl whose only friends are a dog, Dave Matthews and elderly characters just seems unsettling to me. That, and the dog smiles. Now that’s just plain eerie.

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PACIFIER (PG) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:15 2:00 3:20 4:30 5:25 7:00 7:40 9:10 9:50 11:20 12:00 Sat. 11:10 11:40 1:15 2:00 3:20 4:30 5:25 7:00 7:40 9:10 9:50 11:20 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:15 2:00 3:20 4:30 5:25 7:00 7:40 9:10 9:50 BE COOL (PG–13) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:30 2:45 4:30 5:15 7:00 7:50 9:35 11:00 12:00 Sat. 11:20 1:30 2:45 4:30 5:15 7:00 7:50 9:35 11:00 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 2:45 4:30 5:15 7:00 7:50 9:35 CONSTANTINE (R) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:15 2:00 4:10 5:00 7:15 7:40 9:50 11:00 Sat. 11:30 1:15 2:00 4:10 5:00 7:15 7:40 9:50 11:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:15 2:00 4:10 5:00 7:15 7:40 9:50 MAD BLACK WOMAN (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 ARE WE THERE YET? (PG) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:10 3:15 5:20 Sat. 11:05 1:10 3:15 5:20 WINN-DIXIE (PG) Fri. & Sat. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:20 11:40 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:20 CURSED (PG–13) Fri. 1:10 3:20 5:30 7:40 9:50 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:10 3:20 5:30 7:40 9:50 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:10 3:20 5:30 7:40 9:50

HIDE AND SEEK (R) Fri. & Sat. 7:40 10:00 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 7:40 10:00 HITCH (PG–13) (2 SCREENS) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 1:30 3:30 4:20 7:00 7:20 9:30 9:45 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 1:30 3:30 4:20 7:00 7:20 9:30 9:45 ◆ MAN OF THE HOUSE (PG–13) Fri. 1:15 3:25 5:35 7:45 10:00 12:10 Sat. 11:05 1:15 3:25 5:35 7:45 10:00 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:15 3:25 5:35 7:45 10:00 ★ MILLION DOLLAR BABY (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:50 12:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:50 SIDEWAYS (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:40 WEDDING DATE (PG–13) Fri. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:05 11:10 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:05 11:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:05 THE JACKET (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 HOTEL RWANDA (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:30 4:15 7:10 9:40 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:10 9:40 Showtimes for 3/4 thru 3/10

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MA R . 3

M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

the local sniff “It's true what they say:

Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano: sure it'll clean you out,

FUNNY WORD OF THURSDAY: TROUSERS.

seth fein

first things first

coulter

buzz weekly •

WUNA: On the sniff list

Appropriate masturbation

Try baking brownies for students instead of the UI President

How to write a kick ass column, or at least a funny one

5

but it'll leave you hollow inside.” SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

The Naked Gun

S

MATT PAIS • LEAD REVIEWER

O

For some reason, it took three writers to put together this nonsense.

nly a true pessimist could have predicted t h a t , 1 2 ye a r s a f t e r accepting an Oscar for his work in The Fugitive, Tommy Lee Jones would be sticking his hand up the south end of a cow in the lowbrow fish-out-of-water comedy Man of the House. No, it’s not a remake of the Jonathan Taylor Thomas film of the same name. Jones stars as Roland Sharp, a Texas cop with the all-business, no-nonsense demeanor that Jones hardly ever abandons. After a group of University of Texas cheerleaders witnesses a murder, Sharp takes them under his constant surveillance and out of the path of Eddie Zane (Brian Van Holt), an old friend of Sharp’s and FBI agent who has gone bad for no discernable reason. Because it’s a comedy set in Texas, Man of the House has lots of slow-witted Southern hospitality, brutish bar fighting and down-home gospel singing. Because it’s a movie about college kids, it’s got plenty of compulsive socializing, academic ignorance and reckless, drunken behavior. And because it’s built on the premise of a muttering, humorless tough guy slowly opening up with the help of five bubbly beauties, Jones must maintain a straight face as Sharp buys tampons, complains about

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COMPILED BY SARAH KROHN

Kevin Fenny Monticello, Ill.

“Not that funny.”

REVOLUTION STUDIOS

MAN OF THE HOUSE

exposed thighs and midriffs, endures a facial and a manicure, and splats on his back in an attempt to roller skate. The girls, played by Christina Milian as the leader, Monica Keena as the smart one, Kelli Garner as the airhead who falls for Sharp, Vanessa Ferlito as the tough one, and Paula Garces as the sex-crazed one, appear to have been loosely modeled after the Spice Girls. They’re vapid enough to discuss the “hottie rating” of convicted felons yet apparently intelligent enough to thrive at the University of Texas. And they’re girly enough to scamper and squeal in fear when they witness a murder but composed enough to barely react as they narrowly escape an exploding van meant to silence MAN OF THE HOUSE • TOMMY LEE JONES their cheers forever. For some reason, it took three writers to put together this nonsense, and est, a UT professor played by a mature, dignot one succeeded in making it funny. It’s nified Anne Archer, that never gets out of not a good sign when a movie thinks its the basement. But most disconcerting is the older most hilarious sequence is a dance-off between the girls and an overweight, ex- men’s attraction to the young ladies that is con preacher (Cedric the Entertainer).The concealed but hinted at in a wink-wink, script also ignores the fact that none of the nudge-nudge way that suggests that being bad guys know who the witnesses are, and cooped up with five busty babes is a male the cheerleaders don’t really try to ID the fantasy no matter how old you are.The girls shooter, so the entire protection program is are sexualized and continually ogled, and it’s a testament to Jones’ cool, protective essentially moot. Director Stephen Herek keeps things persona that he emerges as a father figure, bright and spunky for the most part, but not just some creepy old man with pom Man of the House needs to get its foundation pons for morals. The most unique thing about Man of the checked. It incorporates an all-too-familiar backdrop of a father estranged from his House is that it’s the rare movie that manfamily because of work, as Sharp struggles ages to be insulting to women, college stuto reconnect to his 17-year-old daughter dents and cheerleaders. Give me a J! Give Emma (Shannon Marie Woodward).There’s me a U! Give me an N! Give me a K! What also an attempt to give Sharp a love inter- does that spell?

Man of the House

Sky Astrosky Paris, Ill.

“It was funny, and I liked it.”

Bret Rhodes Monticello, Ill.

“I wouldn't recommend it.”

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Loos enDs MOVIE NEWS BY JOHN LOOS

Rising from the ashes of Catwoman like a majestic phoenix people stopped caring about 10 years ago, Sharon Stone has revealed that in her upcoming film Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction, her character will have a lesbian love interest. When asked if her ar t imitates her life, Stone coyly replied, “Why not? Middle age is an open-minded period.” It should be clarified that Ms. Stone was not speaking about the Middle Ages, which are still considered a closeminded period full of disease and rampant stupidity. Quentin Tarantino is filling his plate with new directorial projects. Along with directing the season finale of CSI: Crime Scene Investigators, the Kill Bill director also recently finished shooting Lisa Marie Presley’s video for her new single “Dir ty Laundr y.” Tarantino was said to have been “star struck” when he first met Presley several years ago. Not to take anything away from Presley, but I hear Tarantino felt the same when he first met that AfricanAmerican lady from Night Court. As you all know, the Oscars took place on Sunday evening. My deadline for this column was before the ceremony even began, so I’m writing this without having seen the broadcast, but that won’t stop me from commenting on it. Wasn’t it the most boring/exciting/cleavagefilled Oscars you’ve ever seen? How about that Chris Rock? Wasn’t he just hilarious/awful/(un)incendiar y? I swear, when so-and-so won and then his/her speech went on forever, and the music/sniper/rabid bear cut him/her of f, I was SO pissed/relieved. Oh Oscars, I love/loathe/am entirely indifferent to you.

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orry if I fooled any of you the last couple of weeks. At the celebration of Laurel Prussing’s victory, I started to feel a little guilty. A little bit out of touch. As a result, I decided to go to the Urbana City Council meeting on Monday night. In general, I really don’t know that much about due process or affidavits or even what the city clerk does. So I figured if I was going to spout off about Urbana in the press, I may as well become more familiar with the city government and how it handles the community at large. And while I was intrigued by the idea of learning more about the local government, one thing more than any forced me to go that particular night: WUNA. That stands for West Urbana Neighborhood Association, in case you were wondering. They were presenting their case to the council that night about a law that disallows more Seth Fein is from than four unrelated peoUrbana. He is certain ple to share a residence in that at some point, Urbana. I went with the someone was watchintention of listening. ing him do his “Naked Dick Vitale” routine Naturally, within minthrough his bedroom utes, I had to share my window. Kinda turned thoughts and feelings him on. He can about it too. be reached at: WUNA’s mission, sethfein@hotmail.com according to their Web site, is “to preserve the residential integrity of the neighborhood, while continuing to welcome a diverse mix of residents to its lovely, quiet, tree-lined streets. WUNA seeks to maintain and enhance the neighborhood’s friendly, attractive and safe environment that is within walking distance of downtown, campus and excellent schools.” Sounds pretty fair and inclusive, right? Wrong. To me, it’s nothing but an elitist, conformist clique that has a vendetta against the student population living in their neighborhood. That’s right my friends. The members of WUNA have had enough of us renters, and they want our asses outta there faster than we can say, “Lincoln Square.” And to make matters worse, some of the members of WUNA have taken some pretty shifty tactics to enforce this law. Now, I am not saying that every member of WUNA is a nutter butter. But, without a shred of doubt in my mind, there are certain members of this organization that are starting to creep people out. Me included. They have been spotted prowling the streets. On the front steps of student’s houss o u n d s

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es, taking pictures of mailboxes with more than four people listed on it (go to www.urbanarepublic.info - check it out for yourself).And, most disturbing of all, in people’s lawns, snooping into the windows of houses, trying to count how many people were living in the house at a certain time. I have a message for all you WUNA snoopers out there, from me and from my friends who caught you: Get a flippin’ life. Do you realize that, even in this town, there are parents struggling to get food on the table for their children? That segregation exists on a widespread scale in Urbana? That there are retired men and women with no family left to care for them that would love to spend an afternoon with one of you, just talking about days past? Do you realize how insignificant your little group is? Obviously not, as you were the ones at the city council meeting on Monday, spouting off about the “integrity of the neighborhood” and your “right to a safe place to live”. There are real problems in our city, actual hardships—and this is what you all care about? Look. I am not trying to be a bad guy here, but for real—you need to reconsider the priorities in your lives. I realize that this is your neighborhood and that you have a right to help set the standard, but give me a break! It seems as though you might have taken this a little too far. If you want to help enforce the law, leave the renters out of it and go straight to the landlords and the city. Do you want me snooping in your windows? Of course not. I have a big nose and the tendency to scare off little children because I laugh like a chipmunk. At least, that’s what my girlfriend says. In your defense though, some of your ideals are perfectly reasonable. I fully agree with your belief in neighborhood preservation. You contend that some of the landlords are negligent of their rental properties and that because some of us tenants aren’t actual residents, we are more accustomed to letting our places go to shit, rather than maintaining and beautifying them. And you are right.The students living in west Urbana should be more respectful of the homes they live in. After all, we are guests here and we should treat the homes the way we would treat our own. Moreover, the landlords who own them should be held far more accountable for maintaining the appearance of the houses and apartments. But overall, it’s not us with the problem. It’s you. Take your energy and put it in to something worthwhile. Something that could actually make a difference in someone’s life aside from your own. Trust me, you’ll feel a whole lot better about yourself.

MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Just for fun this week, I

thought I would give you some insight into the thoughts that go into a well-thought-out, awardwinning and highly respected column. I quickly scraped this plan as I have no association with a column such as this. I instead opted to give you some of the background that goes into the smart-assed, opinionated, 800 or so words that I write each week. Initially, I was going to focus on this smoke free group that’s started in Champaign-Urbana. I mean, it seemed like a fine idea. I find it best to write when I’m sort of pissed off about something and that sort of thing pisses me off to no end. Maybe it’s because I listened to an excessive amount of Clash songs when I was younger, but I really hate it when some whiny little folks try to tell me what to do. They have little meetings and make their little comments in the paper and on the television, self-righteous enough to believe that their views of life should be forced on everyone else because this group believes it knows better than you. Okay, well, as a columnist, you have to look at the above paragraph. Okay, I called this group self-righteous, and let’s face it, calling someone else self-righteous sort of makes you the same thing. If this were an actual excerpt from a column, I would probably have to put a sentence in there about how I admit I’m probably a tad bit self-righteous, but that I simply offer an opinion and leave it at that. I certainly don’t go around trying to force these opinions on everyone else, particularly by passing some fascist law. Still, even as I type such a thing, I feel almost sure I heard it somewhere else. It’s fine to steal, but it’s best not to make it obvious. I went back and found a column on smoking I wrote a few years ago, and I see what I was thinking. I ended it with a quote. I’ll put that next so you see what I mean. “Smoking is, as far as I’m concerned, the entire point of being an adult. Many people find smoking objectionable. I myself find many—even more—things objectionable. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs.” Fran Lebowitz. Okay, that’s a pretty funny quote, so if this were an actual column, I would likely put that in there, or at least reword it so it seemed like something I thought of on my own.

At this point, a good columnist always checks his word count. Afterall, it’s not the content, so much as the amount of words. Um, we’re at 476 already. Man, I got a lot left to say, and it’s already halfway done. Now at this juncture, it’s best to stop and have a cigarette and maybe even a glass of Scotch. It’s a good time to reflect and see if your piece is heading the way you intended. Feel free to rub your dog on the head as you stare vacantly at the computer screen immersed in thought. If you don’t have a dog, masturbation is totally appropriate. In fact, I Michael Coulter often enjoy a combination is a videographof both. er, comedian Anyways, after reflection, and can be I’ve discovered that I heard on WPGU haven’t even called this 107.1 Thursdays smoke free group a bunch at 5 with Ricker of “Nazis” as of yet. See workin’ it. that’s a good word because it really gets people’s ire up. Still, it would probably get cut by an editor. I mean, you can’t just go around calling people “Nazis”. Actually, they’re probably really more totalitarian than anything else. Call them that, though, and no emotions are aroused. It only makes people run for a dictionary. Most columnists would tell you that this might be a good time to make an actual argument against a ban on smoking in public places. Well, good for most columnists, but that sort of thing is easier said than done. I wouldn’t even know where to start. I mean, it just seems wrong on the face of it, I suppose. Smoking isn’t illegal. I couldn’t possibly argue that it’s good for you, but I could probably make a fairly good case that it is quite enjoyable to many people. The other side will likely write a response talking about the dangers of second hand smoke.Well, good for them. Yes, it probably is bad for you, so don’t go to bars where people are smoking. Hey, I have an aversion to people holding my head under water in an attempt to make me more religious. Because of that, I don’t go to Baptist churches. If a bar is too smoky, then go to a bar where smoking isn’t allowed. It’s really that simple, isn’t it? If someone decides they want their establishment to be smoke free, then good for them. I probably won’t go there, but I also won’t go around bitching about it either. With the argument half finished, a good columnist would continue trying to hammer home their point. Since I am not that columnist, I will simply light another cigarette and press send, petting the dog and wondering to myself about the concept of personal freedom.

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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

“We’re not talking processed cookies.

homemade, warm, fresh, buttery and soft.”

They’re - Maria Ayala

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THINGS THAT GO MUNCH IN THE NIGHT Open Monday through Thursday 8 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. and Friday through Sunday 8 p.m. to 3 a.m., Insomnia Cookies is now offering free delivery service. Combinations of cookies and brownies, ice cream and beverages such as milk can be here were college women jumping up and down and ordered by phone or online.The perfect late-night snack will smiling like small children in a toy store. They acted as now come right to your doorstep.With six different kinds of though one of their dreams had materialized—and for some, cookies and six different kinds of brownies to choose from, as it had. Insomnia Cookies, located at 502 E. John St. in well as Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, Insomnia Cookies offers a Campustown, is now delivering cookies, brownies and ice new late-night alternative to pizza. “They’re good. They’re really good. We’re talking not cream late into the night. “I thought it was the smartest concept I’ve ever heard processed cookies. They’re homemade, warm, fresh, buttery and soft,” Knussman said. of,” said Anna Knussman, sophomore in ACES. The Champaign location became one of five stores. Taking up a small storefront in Johnstown Center, the overwhelming scent of freshly-baked cookies fills the business. Started by Seth Berkowitz at the University of Pennsylvania in the fall of 2002, the concept offered warm treats with timely delivery to students. It began with the simple baking of cookies for friends and has since expanded. The summer of 2003 brought the addition of Jared Barnett, and Insomnia Cookies began to spread. It now distributes cookies nationwide to corporate and consumer clients. Its menu has also expanded to accommodate 24 varieties of treats. Thus far, Insomnia Cookies has been well received, said manager Lindsay Gall. A 2004 graduate of the University of Illinois, Gall was eager to take charge of the Champaign location. “This is what I’ve always wanted. I went to business school to run a bakery,” said Gall. At first expecting a bar crowd for business, Gall was surprised to find that most customers have been students studying late at night and in need of a little sugar fix to keep them going. “Sometimes you just crave sweets, and Insomnia is really good,” said Maria Ayala, sophomore at Parkland College. Insomnia Cookies also offers some specialty items. An assortment is available, including items for birthdays, good luck wishes or get-well gift boxes. Special values and coupons can also be found while ordering online. In addition to Insomnia Cookies, two other restaurants will be moving into Johnstown Center. Just a few doors down, Sark’s Cafe has a tentative plan to open this week. Owner Matt Slevin is hoping to draw a range of people. He welcomes anyone who makes their way onto campus to come in and experience Baker Sid Meanor presses out dough patties for baking Tuesday night at Insomnia Cookies. his restaurant. Open 24 hours a day and seven

food

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wine

Pizza—is there a more perfect food? It’s almost

endlessly customizable, with toppings limited only by your imagination and your choice of any of a number of crusts: Chicago deep-dish, New York thin, bready Sicilian, wood-fired or baked. It can be fancy schmancy, with truffle oil and wild mushrooms or your basic pepperoni delivered to your door. It’s a party food, a convenience food and perhaps the one food item I know of that everyone likes. It’s also a regional food. Coming here from western New York, I felt sure I’d miss the pizzas back home, where the specialty is a Sicilian crust that is chewy and dense. Most people there order them plain or with pepperoni, allowing the slightly sweet sauce, the perfect amount of Mozzarella and the crust to do the talking.And of course, it’s never pizza night without a side order of Buffalo wings, spicy and deep-fried.“Where would I find this slice of home here?” I wondered.“And just what does a Midwestern pizza taste like?” I’m happy to report that while I still miss the piz-

ANGELA LOIACONO • STAFF WRITER

PHOTOS• DAVID SOLANA

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Baker Laura Prunsik reads an order as she fills a box of cookies for delivery Monday night at Insomnia Cookies, 502 E John St., Champaign. days a week, Sark’s Cafe will also deliver. Carrying the theme of a Bohemian, ethnic breakfast diner, Sark’s is continuing a concept that has been successful in Chicago for over 40 years, Slevin said.The restaurant will serve eggs to order, omelettes and speciality sandwiches called Lorretas.They will also offer hamburgers, grilled cheese and various side dishes. Sark’s will not use any fryers, only flat grills. “If there is such a thing, we have healthy grease,” Slevin said. And although there is still newsprint covering the windows, a restaurant called Junior’s will be the third food business moving onto John Street. With a tentative opening planned for the latter half of April, Junior’s will garner a sincere University of Illinois atmosphere geared to the students, said father and son owners Rick and Richard Minick. With boards and tools scattered about the area, the two will be working hard to get this restaurant ready for opening. Junior’s plans to be open Monday through Thursday 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. and Friday through Sunday 11 a.m. to 2 a.m.They hope to draw the bar crowd on the weekends. “We’ll have the best burger Champaign has ever seen,” Rick said. Menu items will include hamburgers, milkshakes and french fries. buzz

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Z is for Za ‘

zas back home, I’ve found new favorites. Jupiter’s (39 Main St., Champaign) is great for beer, ’za and pool.The pizzas there are thin, crispy and fabulous. I’m a big fan of the barbecue chicken (nice and spicy when you add sliced jalapenos) and the pizza Margherita. I also like the pizzas at The Bread Company (706 S. Goodwin Ave., Urbana), which are similarly thin and crispy, with tasty and creative toppings. Order a glass of Chianti or get a pint of whatever’s good on tap, and you’re in good shape. Next door at Timpone’s, you can feast on spicy shrimp, spinach or mushroom pizzas. Also in Urbana, Milo’s (Lincoln Square Mall) has its own twist on this venerable dish: the upside-down pizza. This pizza comes out of the kitchen with the crust baked on top of a shallow dish, with all of the “toppings” inside.The server flips the plate and you get a kind of deep-dish pizza, with all of the goodies inside the crust.The rosemary chicken with potatoes combines a few of my favorites things in one dish. New to the pizza scene is Esquire Lounge (106

Dave Barry

N. Walnut St., Champaign), my old standby for burgers and fries. With the addition of a new bar/pool/seating area have come additions to the menu as well. I hate to say I haven’t tried the pizzas here, but the buzz is good and the offerings are tempting. One item in particular caught my eye: pear and bleu cheese. I bet it’s amazing. Of course, I can’t not mention Papa Del’s (206 E. Green St., Champaign). My husband loves this pizza, and that sentiment seems to be shared by pizza lovers far and wide (just do a Google search for Papa Del’s and you’ll see what I mean).This is a deep-dish pizza, baked in a cast-iron pan, loaded up with sauce, cheese and toppings. The thick crust and sauce set this pizza apart. Of course, my favorite pizza is my own (no false modesty here). I love making Margherita pizzas at home.We make the dough from scratch, sometimes adding crushed oregano and garlic to the crust.Add sliced heirloom tomatoes, fresh Mozzarella di bufala and basil for a delicious pizza at home. By the way,

Local Music. Local Talent. Local Achievements... Vote March 3rd - March 28th for your favorites like: Best Rock Group Best Americana/Roots Group Best Hip-Hop/Funk Group 2004 Album of the Year Best Live Performance Best Band (overall) Best Male Artist Best Female Artist Best DJ Paris Hilton Award (hottest)

www.cumusicawards.com

April 7th, 2005 at The Highdive

Get the scoop on the nominees on pg. 10 of today’s Buzz and hear the music in a special preview on WPGU this Friday from 8-10pm.

Because the music is all that matters.

AMANDA KOLLING • CONTRIBUTING COLUMNIST

try adding a little olive oil to your hands when working with the dough to prevent sticking. Recipes will often tell you to use flour, but this is the way my grandmother did it, and it works.Also, if you’ve been thinking of buying a pizza stone, don’t waste your money at a department store. Instead, head to your local home improvement store, and buy an unglazed quarry tile (or several). Just make sure it’s unglazed, and get one that’s big enough for a medium to large pizza. Also, remember to wash it before first use and to preheat it (for at least half an hour) for the best results. If you feel ambitious, you also could try grilling your pizzas or using a pizza screen (about $5 online). I also recommend buying a good, large pizza cutter. It makes it so much easier to serve up a slice. Mangiare bene! Za zat’s all, folks! Amanda Kolling is heading east for new eats, but you can still e-mail her at amandakolling@readbuzz.com.


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YOU SAID THAT I SAID THAT.

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Scenes of passion written in stone photography exhibit exploring the relationships between land and architecture, will open on March 14 at the Temple Buell Hall Architecture Gallery. Created by architect and University professor James Warfield, who was named 2002 ACSA Distinguished Professor of Architecture, the exhibit opened last spring at Ispace in Chicago. Warfield sought out the pictures he used in a personal quest:“I consider myself a collector of experiences and visual images.This means going to where the images are,” he states. And he hasn’t stopped: currently he is in the middle of California’s Baja Desert, no phone lines nearby until March 2 when he’ll travel to Mexico. Stone Poems displays 40 black and white images from a field research collection of 150,000. Warfield took the pictures from around the world starting in 1963. “I enjoy the visual!” Warfield proclaims simply and foremost in an explanation of his photography. As this statement and the numbers suggest, the result—the exhibit—is a striking tour of architecture celebrating art that forms when culture and nature are thrown together by necessity (houses on an Italian hillside)—or vanity and religion (the pyramids of Giza, Egypt). And from a man who

Rousanou, Meteora, Greece

some searching. While Warfield relies on books like Paul Oliver’s Dwellings, he doesn’t scoff at the helpfulness of an ordinary Frommer’s travel guide book or an issue of National Geographic. The most surprising source this University professor uses? “I stay late in the theaters for credits to see where glorious movies are filmed,” Warfield writes. Stone Poems, inspired by a passion for studying forms of architecture and its reciprocal relationship with nature, still cannot escape the practical aspects of its particular art—that of photography, of specific film and cameras, lighting and most importantly for the exhibit, the process of developing. Warfield doesn’t pretend that he can escape from or ignore the issue of money either. The cost of film, in younger years, kept Warfield from shooting the full potential of a site. But grown wiser, he writes with the conviction of his experience and a hint of advice: “I shoot with abandon... A shot not taken can never be recouped.” Warfield writes that he has trusted a Canon EOS 35mm since 1988, and “it has been my delight to ignore lighting conditions and shoot regardless of rain or clouds or fog,” which must present more problems shooting the “Stone House Ruins, Kilkenny, Ireland” than the “Mayan Temple of the Sun, Palenque,Chiapas, Mexico.” “In Stone Poems, my intentions in the printed exhibit have been best served by

T i m o t h y Twedt, owner of T. Kelly Jewelers, an upscale jewelry store in downtown Champaign, specializes in diamonds. As the only local member of the Independent Jewelers Organization, a worldwide organization of jewelry buyers, Twedt travels to Belgium twice a year to hand-select the diamonds he sells. T. Kelly Jewelers also sells many original designs. How did you get started in the jewelry business?

Buddhist Monastic Community in the Ladakh Mountains, India

101 E. University 351-5974

DELIVERING FRESH BAKED COOKIE S ‘TIL LATE

It’s actually a long story. I was working on the construction of nuclear power plants and got into the business of coinbuying and selling. When the coins weren’t selling, I decided to buy some chains and sell them as bezels, but those didn’t sell either.The chains I bought sold, and I started selling gold chains and bracelets on the side. In 1985, I rented my first space—108 square feet.Then I started

going to school for gemstones and diamonds. I h ave made several moves since then and with each move it’s a step up. In 2002, I was invited to join the Independent Jewelers Organization, which is a group of independent jewelers committed to buying better. Now, I am able go to Belgium twice a year to buy diamonds.

things; we do a lot of our designs. I have designers from all over the world.

How would Jewelers?

What are some of our other interests?

you

describe

T.

Kelly

It’s an upscale jewelry store. It’s a family-owned business, a mom and pop operation. It’s named after my daughter Kelly. We are in our 20th year. We are honest, and our clients are very loyal. We are full-service, from watch batteries to flawless diamonds. What do you specialize in?

Diamonds are really our niche. We handle ideal-cut diamonds. It’s like art.We don’t sell paint by numbers; we sell Rembrandts. We also try to do unique

What is your most popular item?

I would say it’s the three-diamond, ideal-cut ring. My daughter calls it the “hot ring” because it’s so fiery. The cut makes it fiery. It’s a simple, simple ring but has a brilliant cut. We also have sold a lot of the hot pink sapphire. I just got back from a trade show so we will have a lot of new, unique things for the spring. Dogs. I am big dog lover; I have four. I really love animals. What’s your favorite place in ChampaignUrbana?

I would say the downtown area. It’s a really nice area. I have a great location. What is your favorite part of being in the jewelry business?

The people. I am sure not in it for the money. I love meeting people. I can say that in 20 years of business, I have never had a bad experience with a customer.

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converting the color originals to black and white. My goal has been to explore the integral relationship achieved between architecture and nature, where I have found that texture is important, color a distraction,” Warfield writes.

PHOTO • SARAH KROHN

Stone Poems: Architecture and the Land, a

has documented living environments of indigenous peoples from Bolivia to Africa to Tibet and beyond, trust these pictures to offer the extreme in cultural, historical, and natural significance. The exhibit’s noblest goal seems to be creating connectivity between the distinctive images. Boasting pictures of “Lost City of the Incas, Machu Picchu, Peru” and still “Prairie Farmstead, Illinois, USA,” Stone Poems relies on a belief that “from the inevitable act of destroying nature, nearly every culture develops artists and poets and architects who seek to build on the land and re-establish a harmony with nature.” The exhibit has a theoretical point and seeks to challenge “process and product” from today’s design professionals, but Warfield’s sheer enthusiasm and joy in the “visual” ultimately seem to steer the project. “I cannot deny the passion that I have for the specific images I select to share,” he says. These must be chosen carefully because just finding out about architectural feats takes

PHOTOS COURTESY OF JAMES WARFIELD

MAUREEN GOMBAS • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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Kyle Forneris is a senior in painting at the University of Illinois. A lover of classic rock and fantasy literature, his current passion in painting is suggestive landscape. His work explores the uncanny and unreality of the physical spaces he depicts, striving for depth and tension between painting styles and varying locations of detail. His results are somewhat impressionistic, but extremely immersing. To take a look for yourself, check out his upcoming showings from March 28-April 8 in the Link Gallery between the Krannert Art Museum and Design Building and then again May 12-28 in the Krannert Art Museum. What interests you most about suggestive landscapes?

That is something that I have struggled with in previous works. I think my solution is to not be so literal in the relationship. Not that it couldn’t be done, but in this work, I don’t make direct references to any specific fantasy element. In some of my old work I was depicting scenes from Grimms’ fairy tales, but I needed a way to make it more than just a recreation or an interpretation. Now I think I am in a very good mind set, and I feel good about my work. I’m kind of making my own setting for a different kind of fantasy. The paintings have all the potential to hold narrative aspects, but they don’t necessarily do that. It’s kind of like I supply the setting, the mood and the theme, and the viewer fills in the rest. As I said before, I try not to directly reference

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How do you walk the line between art and cliche when you pick up on influences from literary and cinematic fantasy realms? What part do they play in defining how your work is going to look?

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Landscapes in general are definitely nothing new in the realm of painting. I like the potential and flexibility they have for holding content, and I enjoy the familiarity that makes it easy for viewers to enter and see it as a real space, even if it is completely fabricated. As for the suggestive part, my paintings do have a seductive and sexual quality. However I do not feel that aspect rules the entire concept of the piece. I like to think I imply rather than say. Not to sound like I don’t take responsibility for where the painting can go because I am fully aware of the possibilities, but I am not opposed to the idea of giving someone a starting point and letting him or her finish it.

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Kyle Forneris

any of the fantasy elements that influence me. So I don’t think that the look of my paintings reflects anything specific. Also, fantasy isn’t all that my work is about, so that helps. I guess I more try to emulate the feeling of experiencing something that isn’t real in a real way. In other words, I like the how something a little unreal can relate to something more tangible. What do you hope your art communicates to the viewer?

I suppose the one thing you hope for is that your work makes the viewer want to think about it.You don’t want the work to be so complex that it’s inaccessible, and you don’t want to have something so straightforward that it doesn’t warrant further contemplation. Aside from that and getting a bit more detailed, I hope this particular work allows people to enter the space or get sucked in. I would like them to notice the seductive and sexual aspects of it and the different uses of beauty. Also, I would like my work to evoke a kind of physical, as well as mental, relationship with the viewer. I want them to think of how my work would affect the other senses, not just sight. Why does painting interest you so much as a medium?

I like the physicality of the paint. Even thought you are making a 2D image, the paint gives a depth and a presence by way of texture and surface, that is more difficult to achieve with some other materials. It is a much different experience to see a painting in person rather than just the image on a computer or in a book. Granted I do enjoy working with other materials, but there is just something about painting that just seems to fit, whether it be my tendencies towards the romantic or just a simple preference. What would your dream project look like given whatever resources you needed?

Wow, my dream project.That’s hard to imagine. I usually don’t think singular so much as to aspire to one large event. I enjoy making the work I do now, and I look forward to making more. I guess right now I

dream more about getting work after school and continuing my practice. One of the things I would like to do is to make a complete environment installation, but I think that is more of a curiosity of what my work would do in a 3D environment. And as for jobs, I don’t know if I see myself as that much of an artist in the traditional Painter Kyle Forneris strategically plans his next brush stroke. sense. I would like to see what it would be like in a field like conceptual design, making characters and settings for video games, movies, etc. Along those same lines, I would be interested in illustration. To be realistic though, in those fields I would most likely lose some of my freedoms to create whatever I want. Where do find inspiration when you find yourself hard up?

Mostly I sit and think. Sometimes I will get out a pencil and doodle my way to a conclusion. Sometimes it just helps to start the painting, not knowing where you will end up. I also talk to my classmates and teachers, which is very helpful. It’s always a good idea to bring in someone with a new thought process and an unbiased view.

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Come April 2, the C-U Symphony will offer more traditional classical fare with the Liszt piano concerto number two, but listen for the premiere of a new work by Jennifer Higdon on that same program. More traditionally,the Sinfonia da Camera and conductor Ian Hobson will offer an all Mozart concert on March 5, and the world famous Prague Symphony visits the Krannert Center on March 8. Veteran conductor Serge Baudo will give us two works very much attached to the Czech Republic, Dvorak’s sixth Symphony and Mozart’s “Prague� Symphony, number 38. American pianist, Navah Perlman will team up with the Prague Symphony for a performance of the second piano concerto of Chopin. If your musical tastes still have not been met, check out the Afro-Latin Jazz Orchestra on April 5 or Herbie Hancock with Directions in Music on March 5. For those who want to go beyond jazz and classical, Israeli singer Chava Alberstein will present on March 13 an extraordinary evening of contemporary song. For dance fans, the month has with some high spots. SITI Company will be here on March 17 with their multi-media show.On April 1 and 2,the Mark Morris Dance Group visits Krannert for two nights that cap a month filled with wonders that work very well around spring break.

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PHOTOS • DAVID SOLANA

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“We’re all very interested in, and sort of sticklers for, aesthetics in general. “My grandmother started walking five5 miles a day when she was 6osixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where 97 the hell she is.”

Why make something mediocre?” -Justin Harris

-Ellen DeGeneres

THE WAY WE WALK

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ILLUSTRATION BY SUE JANNA TRUSCOTT

he idea of “walking as an art form” is an interesting concept, one that is being explored in a series of events titled “Walking as Knowing as Making:A peripatetic investigation of place,” sponsored mainly by the College of Fine and Applied Arts. There are five main sessions throughout the spring semester, featuring walkers from a variety of backgrounds. Kevin Hamilton, an assistant professor at the university, talked with Nicholas Brown, a graduate student, about “walking as a practice.”Together they formed the spring events. “Walking, a practice we take for granted, has become a favorite subject of kinesiologists, ecologists, activists, artists, historians, geographers. Nick and I thought we should try to get some of these people talking to each other,” explained Hamilton. And they have gotten a very eclectic group of 18 people for the five sessions from many different fields, almost all of them have PhDs, and everyone has an impressive and unique background. This includes Dennis Bank, a Native American activist who founded the American Indian Movement, which is dedicated to preserving Indian traditions, and John Francis, a U.N. and Goodwill ambassador who for 17 years did not speak and for 22 years did not use any type of motorized transportation. The “Walking as Knowing as Making”Web site explains that the project’s purpose is “to nurture both a theoretical and applied approach to knowing and interpreting place as we experience and construct it through walking.” Although walking is seen as slow and ineffective in our fast-paced lives, the project sees walking “as a conversation between the body and the world… a reciprocal and simultaneous act of both interpretation and manipulation.” Hamilton explained that the program focuses both on art and science. “Walking engages both of these practices—when we walk we observe, perceive, collect information that we might not gather by car or faster technology. But we also make things when we walk—we produce new relationships between ourselves and other people, between ourselves and the land, the history of places.” This semester-long project also includes other activities. For instance, Hamish Fulton, a sculptor, photographer, conceptual artist and land artist, has created an installation for the Krannert Art Museum about his walks in

Champaign County.This exhibit runs March 5-July 31.There will be a film series about place, a series of walks and tours, a monthly sound collage to be broadcasted on local radio stations, and an archive of all digital and print information collected during the duration of the program. “I was delighted to be asked… [I] learn more from talk- More information ing to other kinds of scholars and, indeed, artists and thinkers on “Walking from beyond the walls of academia. I am hoping that the as Knowing meeting will bring me out of my disciplinary shell and chal- as Making” is lenge me to see walking from new angles,” said Professor Tim available at its Cresswell, a participant in the fourth session and teacher at Web site: http://www.walki the Institute of Geography and Earth Sciences in Wales. Fellow scholar David Rothenberg agrees, “I’m looking nginplace.org/co forward to sharing the stage with my friend Dave Abram and nverge/index.htm meeting Jack Turner, whose work I have admired for years.” Rothenberg, a philosopher and musician, recently wrote a book and made a CD about his travels playing music with birds. Professor Mike Pearson, an archaeologist and actor participating in session four, said,“I hope the project will enhance and increase understanding of the potential of walking in art practice and in performance theory by involving practitioners and academics from a range of fields … I decided to get involved because of the innovative nature of the project and the opportunity it offers to examine walking from a range of conceptual, theoretical and practical perspectives and disciplinary stances and thus increase knowledge within the emergent field of performance studies.” For Chris Taylor, architect and co-director of Land Arts of the American West, the project’s interest and importance “lies in the fact of moving out into the landscape, of looking outside of oneself and beginning to make connections between people and the world around.Venturing out into the world is an essential thought experiment requiring intellectual risk that allows an outcome to be determined by forces beyond ones control.” Taylor will be featured in the third session. The first session was Feb. 24 and 25.The next session takes place on March 10 and 11.The main guest is Trevor Paglen, an artist, writer and geographer from the University of California-Berkeley. The third will be April 7-8, the fourth April 28-29, and the fifth is still to be announced but will feature Gary Snyder, a Pulitzer Prize-winning poet. “We hope people will learn of efforts parallel to their own in other fields, of opportunities for living more intentionally in their relationship to place and society.We hope people will feel free to contribute to our process, and of course we hope people will walk!” said Hamilton. buzz

LOGAN MOORE • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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Menomena will be appearing at an early show (8pm) Saturday, at the Highdive in downtown Champaign. The show has an $8 cover, and also features openers Pit er Pat.

Performing arts march in like a lion at Krannert JEFF NELSON

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STAFF WRITER

his March at Urbana’s Krannert Center music is the word, but before we look at the amazing musical treats is store, let’s look at some theater. Barbara Field’s stage adaptation of Dicken’s Great Expectations will continue on weekends at the Colwell Playhouse Theater through Sunday, March 6. As the month ends, Jose Rivera’s Marisol

will begin its two-week run at the Studio Theater. This tough look at contemporary Puerto Rican culture as it struggles with New York City is both powerful and funny. Marisol will continue in the Studio through April 10. Opera combines the worlds of drama and music, and while many modern American musicals have grown into the opera category, like Candide, there is still a taste for that traditional European grand opera. On March

9 and 10, the Opera Verdi Europa company will perform at the Tryon Festival Theatre: Carmen on March 9 and Aida on March 10. If you think you might have an appetite for grand opera, opera doesn’t get much grander than these works and this fine opera company. March is an embarrassment of riches for classical music concert goers. But, try a crossover wind ensemble called Imani Winds on March 6. These five musicians of color blend the colorful traditions of European, African and

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African-American sounds into a wind quintet that sound like nothing you have ever heard. Even the Champaign-Urbana Symphony is getting into the crossover trend. Its March 13 concert features pianist Rich Ridenour, who will team up with conductor Steve Larsen to offer Krannert audiences a tour of big band music with a touch of humor.

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he idea of a band using a computer program to help arrange their songs may strike many “rockists” and those desperately clinging to traditional songwriting as a little slice of impersonal, easily dismissed gimmickry. Portland, Oregon’s Menomena, Justin Harris on bass, Brent Knopf on keyboards and vocals and Danny Seim on drums, needn’t involve themselves in any inane pissing contests with aging nostalgiamongers, though. The sounds emanating from their accomplished debut, I Am The Fun Blame Monster, speak for themselves and should swiftly silence all those dullards who would question the band’s veracity. Menomena is a band whose unique ideas about music have birthed an album that defies easy categorization. Simple, haunting piano lines snake around complex rhythms. Ethereal harmonies are drug back to earth by fluid, ominous bass and unremitting, rock-steady drums, only for both to be shattered by a ragged guitar line or a violent burst of noise. Songs abruptly start and stop, always threatening to fall apart or fade away. In lieu of verses and choruses, elements are unpredictably cycled in and out of the mix. The simplest of musical elements are built up into adrenalized crescendos. It’s a type of music that draws on subtle elements of hiphop, electronica and of course rock ‘n’ roll, but in all reality, the darkly sinuous nature of Menomena’s music is without precedent. “It all happened in the fall of 2000,” relates bassist Harris,“Danny and I were in a band before this one for five years. Brent had seen that band play four years prior and Danny and he became friends. He (Brent) went to college and kept in touch. He was graduating in 2000 and coming back home to live.” And so was the genesis of Menomena. The band formed around a very interesting concept, though.A major component of their writing process is a simple computer program, written by Knopf, known as Deeler. “The first time I heard of Deeler was about two years before the band formed. Brent was writing a program ... more or less trying to make it for a live application so that you could pull off a oneman band live,” says Harris, “All it is, is a program that has 10 tracks of recording that interface with whatever program you’re

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using to record.”These 10 tracks each contain five files in which to store; sounds, the tempo, phrase length, etc. can be changed. This sets off a click track that records automatically and by itself, beginning on the downbeat of whatever is next played into the track.The effect is that of a song looping itself spontaneously,“You end up with a big conglomeration of parts that sort of all fit together,” describes Harris. All of this tedious methodology wouldn’t amount to much more than sound and fury and monotony if it weren’t for the human element of the band that allows them to sculpt the raw material of a Deeler session into the luminous hypnotism of a Menomena composition. “We take it to Pro-Tools and somebody arranges it,” explains Harris, “...Whoever does the mixing, it sort of takes on the character of that person’s aesthetic.” Whether it is the result of man or machine, one of the most striking things on first listen is the band’s taut, insistent rhythms. Harris states, “When we’re using Deeler each song usually starts with a drum beat, so everything is sort of written around a different beat.” The liquid bass guitar and multifarious drum work simultaneously drives along and grounds the eerie melodies and wraithlike piano and organ figures. “Brent adds a lot of the melody; Danny and I are more rhythm-based,” says Harris. The low end allows for a certain complexity of structure and approach, where the most austere of melodic sequences can fade out into a void just as easily as they can expand into a song’s white-knuckle climax. “It’s the nature of the beast,” claims Harris, “It’s what comes out of making loops, trying to make something out of nothing. In a Deeler session there’s not a lot of change. You do end up with a lot of pieces that are sort of similar, and it does get a little tricky to make that tension work.” Menomena songs eschew verses or choruses, instead expanding and retracting in an organic fashion, discarding or expanding musical ideas seemingly arbitrarily.“Well using these little sound files, one session can last for twenty minutes, trying to build a song out of short loops forces you to do something interesting; otherwise, it can get boring,” comments Harris. Possibly the most impressive aspect of the Menomena is that a band with such a singular course of action in the studio translates it all to the live arena.“Once one of us

arranges it then we have to learn how to play it live or pick and choose which parts best represent the character of the song,” states Harris. He goes on to say that,“I personally prefer playing live; I enjoy playing live; the energy is different ... Us in the studio isn’t what a typical band in the studio sounds like; we all have certain ideas, different ideas for the same thing.We all feel a little more relaxed and able to break out of some of the restrictions of the studio.”This enthusiasm comes through on stage as well. Menomena are somewhat renowned for an energetic live performance far removed from the subdued intensity of the album. “It’s more up-tempo, quite a bit faster,” states Harris, “we don’t try to mimic the album, but we’re not like a jam band, beating a part to death for five minutes.” So after self-releasing their debut in 2003, and releasing it nationally via FILMguerrero in 2004 after much welldeserved hubbub from the underground, the obvious question is when are Menomena fans going to hear more Menomena? “This last album took us the

good part of a year. A lot of those songs took a long time to develop.” Still, rumor has it that a few new songs have popped up during their last tour. As far as the process of developing them goes, Harris says, “We end up using a lot of elements, past Deeler sessions, we have tons of them, just tons and tons of files. The great part is you can go back a few weeks later, and they’ll sound completely different, you’ll hear something you didn’t hear before.” Everything about Menomena, from their non-linear methods of songwriting right down to the cover of their album, which is in fact a peculiarly humorous flipbook of the band playing their instruments, challenges many of the ingrained, macho assumptions about rock music. One feels that even without Deeler or any other embellishments, Menomena would still be crafting their idiosyncrasies into music. As Harris observes, “We’re all very interested in, and sort of sticklers for, aesthetics in general. Why make something mediocre? We just get ideas and/or wild hairs and just try to implement them as best we can.” buzz

PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.MENOMENA.COM

EMILY COTTERMAN • STAFF WRITER

THEY ARE THE FUN BLAME MONSTERS

Bass player Justin Harris tunes his bass guitar at a rehearsal.

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ROCK ME, JOE...

M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

CHILLIN’ WITH KELLER WILLIAMS With an unabashedly fun, quirky song-

writing voice and a knack for inventing infectious rhythmic grooves (not to mention the rather impressive layers of sound he can get out of live phrase sampling of his own playing), singer-songwriter-guitarist Keller Williams is exactly the kind of hardto-pigeonhole entertainer that the majority of mainstream media tends to ignore. When asked if, 10 years into his career as a performer, his perspective on the music industry has changed, he says no. “I never really looked to the labels as a savior … I am still way off mainstream radar, and never really had high hopes for the actual [music] industry. I’ve always had somewhat selfish reasons for playing: to entertain myself, and hopefully I can entertain other people, too.” Nevertheless, for an independent artist, Williams has managed to attract and sustain a relatively large—and loyal—following, something he attributes mainly to persistence and grassroots support. “It’s taken years to get to this point. It’s simply returning to the same towns year after year; start small, keep doing it, and hopefully people bring their friends next time,” Williams remarks, adding that overall, he is happy with where his career is right now. “It’s quite comfortable for me in my own little world.” Although he is a songwriter and performer, Williams notes that he never learned how to read music notation. “I wrote my first song when I was about 12. I was taking piano lessons, and it came time for the recital, but I couldn’t read music or anything, so I just kind of made up my own song.” Indeed, with original songs to his credit including ones titled “Love Handles,”“Kidney in a Cooler” and “Blazeabago,” one of the best parts of what Williams has to offer is his own unique songwriting voice. “A lot of those [songs] are basic things that actually happened. Some are tidbits of conversations that got turned into a fictional tale, and sometimes I just use my imagination.” For his vocal songs,Williams says that the words usually come to him before the music does, whereas the instrumental ones come from “mindlessly doodling” on the guitar. Generally speaking, however, “I try to stay away from politics and sappy love songs … but I am in love, so there are some,”Williams comments, though he shies away from love song cliches. Williams names the release he gets from being onstage as his favorite part. “I have tons of music kicking around inside my head, and I want the music to be out. It’s not the same at home, because at home, you can be playing, but the phone can ring, and you get distracted. If the phone rings while you’re onstage, you can’t answer it.” His job as a musician is “to entertain, to help people get out of

their heads for a few hours, forget their worries and the world struggles going on right now.” When I spoke with Williams, he was gearing up to start his current tour. “We’re doing 15 shows in 19 days,” with his appearance at The Canopy Club in Urbana scheduled near the end. “When it gets close to the last show of a tour, there’s always a special energy.” Although touring has its hardships—such as the tendency to get “quick and easy food,” which makes it “very easy to be unhealthy” and “put pounds on when on the road”—Williams says he likes that he gets to “see the world and get paid for it—or at least pay your expenses.” He also encourages people to come out to the live shows, remarking that, “It’s really hard to get to know what I’m about without seeing the show.” Williams has been quite busy with recording, touring and his own radio show (Keller’s Cellar—”Somewhat Ruleless Radio”) for the past couple of years, and has several projects in the works for 2005 as well, which include “picking some bluegrass with friends,” a forthcoming DVD release and a new studio project featuring collaborations with other artists, something that Williams says he’s been wanting to do for a while. Williams also added that “We just had a baby … so she’s filling my life with all kinds of goodness right now ... She’s my next 18-year plan.” buzz

Keller Williams will be appearing this Sunday, March 6, at The Canopy Club in Urbana. The show begins at 9 p.m. and tickets are $18.

Keller Williams Stage SCI Fidelity BY SUSAN SCHOMBURG

The WPGU/Buzz Local Music Awards, a con-

Each of Keller Williams’s albums has its own stylistic flavor, while at the same time remaining unabashedly within the span of his own musical style. Stage, Williams’s ninth release to date, is no exception. The recording captures a series of live performances on two discs, each of which attempts to capture a different audience vibe: according to the liner notes, a “seated listening audience” versus a “seatless dancing party.” As Williams seems to consider himself more of a live performer (who happens to also record CDs) rather than a recording artist per se, this album, like his earlier live release, Loop, might be thought of as more representative of his work. The main criticism I have of this album is the preponderance of covers—something that is not nearly as prevalent on Williams’s other releases— which eat up valuable space on the discs that could have been used to capture live renditions of more of his own songs. Although covers generally tend to be a staple of any live act—if only from the need of more material to fill out the sets—Williams’s talent for inventing catchy instrumental grooves, as well as the quirky originality of his songs’ lyrics, make the inclusion of covers of other people’s songs on this release (such as a needlessly long version of Buffalo Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth”) wholly unnecessary.With this in mind, it must be added that Williams at least has the good taste to make the songs his own by transforming them into his own idiom, rather than merely copying what someone else already did. Highlights of the album include the infectiously happy “Keep it Simple,” the humorous words to “Novelty Song” set in a sort of free recitational vocal style, the delicate layers of timbre that unfold in “Celebrate Your Youth,” and the driving virtuosity of the instrumental “Shapes of M+M’s.” Also, having said the above about the presence of covers on this album, I have to admit that Williams’s rendition of “Moondance”— abstracted so far from its original source that it almost seems like a new song, with several improvisational forays into the unknown and then segueing back into the pocket of the song as he set it up at the outset—is most impressive. Williams’s work is, first and foremost, music to make people happy, and, as usual, is quite successful.This release is no exception; it is a solid effort, and definitely worth the time it takes to hear.

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cert and awards ceremony for local bands and artists committed to our music community, will take place on April 7 at the Highdive. It’s our intention to recognize the best of our burgeoning scene. Listeners and readers will be able to vote for their favorites at cumusicawards.com starting today until March 28. In addition to the categories below, you’ll be able to vote for awards such as Best Live Act. Listen to WPGU 107.1 FM, and read the upcoming issues of Buzz for more information on the show, including profiles of all the musicians. Below are the nominees:

Best Rock Group:

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HELLO, I’VE GOT LEGS.

DJ Tim Williams [hip hop, house, top 40 dance] DJ Dance Party The Canopy Club, 10:30pm, TBA DJ Mighty Dog Jackson’s Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am

mate on our personal lives] Armory Free Theatre, 505 E. Armory, #160, 8pm, free

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Sappy's on Devenshire 9pm-12am, free

March 6 Live Music Keller Williams The Canopy Club 9pm, $18/advance, $20/door The Crystal River Band [country] Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Free Rock Show: Ambitious Pie Party, TBA Tommy G's, 9pm, free Bobaflex, None Taken, Dropsixx, Maxlider The Highdive, 9:30pm, $5 Col. Rhodes, The Hubbards, SNMNMNMN Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Irish Traditional Music Session Mike & Molly's, 5pm. TBA Irish Music & Dance Festival: BowDacious String Band with Society for Celtic Cultures and Irish Local Musicians Lincoln Square Mall, 3pm, free Kilborn Alley Jackson’s Ribs-N-Tips, 8-11pm Imani Winds [wind quintent] Foellinger Great Hall, 3pm, $5-$34 Jordan Kaye and the Prarie Dogs Grace United Methodist Church of

Family Dr. Suess Birthday Party [celebrty readers, activity booths, toddler areas] Lincoln Square Mall, 10am-2pm, free American Girl Fashion Show Virginia Theatre 10am, 2pm & 7pm, $25 The 21st Annual Parkland Farm Toy Show Technology Applications Center at Parkland College 9am-3pm, $2, 351-2406 Meet the Author: Maureen Hughes Illini Union Bookstore, 12pm Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free Theater Great Expectations Colwell Playhouse, 7:30, $7-$13 Apathy, Armor and Accusations [one-act plays that offer a look at the effect of the current social cli-

Headlights American Minor The Living Blue Lorenzo Goetz Triple Whip

Urbana, 6pm, donations accepcted Cat Catalini [introduces the forgotten women behind popular music of the past 200 years] Champaign Public Library, 2pm, free

Ear Candy [local house music DJ's] Nargile, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [hip hop and other soulful beats] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Delayney Nargile, 10pm, $5 DJ Bozak [80's rewind] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Family Monday Mania [Play with your infant/toddler in a gym atmosphere] Leonard Recreation Center 1212 W. Sangamon Dr. 10am-12pm, $2/CPD member, $3/non

Theater Great Expectations Colwell Playhouse, 3pm, $7-$13

March 7 Live Music Jazz Jam with ParaDocs The Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA Quadremedy [rock] Tommy G's, 10pm, free DJ UC Hip Hop presents Chill in the Grill The Canopy Club, 9pm, free DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop, R&B, lounge] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

March 8 Live Music Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Mike Ingram The Canopy Club 9pm, 21+/free, under 21/$2 The Crystal River Band [country] Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Terminus Victor, The Chemicals Nargile, 10pm, $3 Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Psyche Origami [live hip hop] Cowboy Monkey, 11pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Prague Symphony Orchestra Foellinger Great Hall

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7:30pm, $32-$47 DJ DJ Sophisto [house] Barfly, 10pm, free Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin [industrial, darkwave, electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ J-Phlip Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Tommy G's, 10pm, free

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's Chill and Grill, 9pm, free

Comedy Frank Roche, TBA The Canopy Club, 7-10pm, $5

Theater Apathy, Armor and Accusations [one-act plays that offer a look at the effect of the current social climate on our personal lives] Allen Hall, 8pm, free

March 9 Live Music Ed O'Hara and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Clem Snide, Archer Prewitt, Marbles The Highdive, 9:30pm, $10 Freespace The Canopy Club, 10pm, $2 Blues Night: Kilborn Alley

DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggea] Barfly, 10PM, FREE DJ Limbs [hip hop, soul, dance] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Family Around the World Wednesdays [crafts and games from around the world for families] Spurlock Museum, 9:30am-12pm, $1 donation Theater Opera Verdi Europa: Carmen Tryon Festival Theater, 7:30pm, $18-$33 Apathy, Armor and Accusations [one-act plays that offer a look at the effect of the currentsocial climate on our personal lives] Illini Orange Snack Bar 7:15pm, free

Best Roots Group: Tractor Kings elsinore The Beauty Shop Kilborn Alley Blues Band Green Mountain Grass

jonesin crossword puzzle

Across 1 Like, yesterday 5 "Pet me!" to a cat 9 Dime dude 12 Attachable brick 13 Mr. Darko 15 Lucy of "Kill Bill: Vol. 2" 16 Meal in a pot 17 Ditzy Minnesotan character on "The Golden Girls" 19 Rowlands of "The Notebook" 21 Creative thinkers 22 Founder of the Motown label 26 "Chicago" star 27 Goran Ivanisevic, notably 28 Boxer's stat 30 Lithuania, once: abbr. 31 Insurance group name found on coins

Best Hip-Hop Group: Animate Objects Krukid Brain Housing Group Melodic Scribes The Agenda

Best Male Artist: Brandon T. Washington Cameron McGill Mike Ingram Jason Finkelman Rob McColley

Best Female Artist: Angie Heaton Dawna Nelson Kate Hathaway Joni Laurence Kayla Brown

Best DJ:

PHOTO COURTESY OF KELLERWILLIAMS.COM

SUSAN SCHOMBURG • STAFF WRITER

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DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ

Best Record:

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Down 1 Cohn and Capone 2 Volleyball move 3 Demographic, maybe 4 Equipment for metal guitarists 5 Brahma sound 6 Ninny's threesome? 7 New York native 8 Midwestern metro area, with "The" 9 Log rides 10 Places like Mel's and

Arnold's 11 Comedian Rita 13 Bummer 14 Word after evil or blind 18 Trail 20 "All the News That's Fit to Print" source, for short 22 Victoria's Secret measure, maybe 23 Sea eagle variety 24 Utah's "Family City USA" 25 Go back to 29 Trendsetting 32 Guano, basically 34 Kinski who's had relationships with Roman Polanski and Quincy Jones 36 Pitcher's number 37 Tamil ___ (state at India's southern tip)

38 Where Old West criminals get put 39 She costars with Nicollette and Marcia 40 Opposite in Chinese beliefs 44 Bond villain who throws a steel-brimmed hat 45 Feature of new bedsheets 46 Mocked for sport 48 For this reason, in legalese 49 Part of RSVP 51 Stock with weapons 53 68-across opposites 55 Point count on the Magen David 58 Gibson/Sawyer show, for short 59 180 61 Chemical suffix 62 Behavior modifier?

WIN FINAL FOUR TICKETS!!!

Poster Children • No More Songs About Sleep And Fire Cameron McGill • Stories of The Knife And The Back The Living Blue • Living in Blue (released under the name “The Blackouts”) Beauty Shop • Crisis Helpline The Elanors • A Year To Demonstrate

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60 Dairy choice 63 Sugary suffix 64 Competition that used to include street luge 65 Source of some mind tricks? 66 Place for love 67 Hang around 68 53-down opposites

GRAND OPENING! March 5 • Green St. Café

Bozak Resonate Delayney Limbs Tim Williams

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32 Piece of equipment, in UNIX code 33 "Am ___ the ballpark?" 35 Cartoon character who gets called "sir" 41 Packed theater sign 42 Utter 43 Stadium really close to LaGuardia Airport 44 National Coming Out Day mo. 47 Agricultural pest 49 Self-proclaimed "King of All Media" 50 Actress de Matteo who moved from "The Sopranos" to "Joey" 52 Porker Porky porks, presumably 54 Letter opener? 56 As well 57 She played Roxy on "Dead Like Me"

Drink Specials ALL NIGHT LONG Located at 35 E. Green (Locust & Green, next to Pizza Planet)

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$8.99 Hookahs Stop in today for details

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WE CAN TALK AND NOT TALK FOR HOURS.

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U R B A N A

ASSEMBLY HALL | First & Florida, Champaign 333-5000 AMERICAN LEGION POST 24 | 705 W Bloomington, Champaign 356-5144 AMERICAN LEGION POST 71 | 107 N Broadway, Urbana 367-3121 BARFLY | 120 N Neil, Champaign 352-9756 BOLTINI LOUNGE | 211 N Neil, Champaign 378-8001 BOARDMAN’S ART THEATER | 126 W Church, Champaign 351-0068 THE BRASS RAIL | 15 E University, Champaign 352-7512 THE BRIDGE | 124 W. White St. Champaign THE CANOPY CLUB (GARDEN GRILL) | 708 S Goodwin, Urbana 367-3140 CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana CIVITAS | 112 Main St., Urbana0 COURTYARD CAFE | Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana 333-4666 COWBOY MONKEY | 6 Taylor, Champaign 398-2688 CURTIS ORCHARD | 3902 S Duncan, Champaign 359-5565 D.R. DIGGERS | 604 S Country Fair, Champaign 356-0888 ELMER’S CLUB 45 | 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana 344-3101 EMBASSY TAVERN & GRILL | 114 S Race, Urbana 384-9526 ESQUIRE LOUNGE | 106 N Walnut, Champaign 398-5858 FALLON’S ICE HOUSE | 703 N Prospect, Champaign 398-5760 FAT CITY SALOON | 505 S Chestnut, Champaign 356-7100 THE GREAT IMPASTA | 114 W Church, Champaign 359-7377 THE HIGHDIVE | 51 Main, Champaign 359-4444 HUBER’S | 1312 W Church, Champaign 352-0606 ILLINOIS DISCIPLES FOUNDATION | 610 E Springfield, Champaign 352-8721 INDEPENDENT MEDIA CENTER | 218 W Main, Urbana 344-8820 THE IRON POST | 120 S Race, Urbana 337-7678 JACKSON’S RIBS-N-TIPS| 116 N First, Champaign 355-2916 JOE’S BREWERY | 706 S Fifth, Champaign 384-1790 KRANNERT ART MUSEUM | 500 E Peabody, Champaign 333-1861 KRANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS | 500 S Goodwin, Urbana Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX LA CASA CULTURAL LATINA | 1203 W Nevada, Urbana 333-4950

LAVA | 1906 W Bradley, Champaign 352-8714 LES’S LOUNGE | 403 N Coler, Urbana 328-4000 LINCOLN CASTLE | 209 S Broadway, Urbana 344-7720 MALIBU BAY LOUNGE | North Route 45, Urbana 328-7415 MIKE ‘N’ MOLLY’S | 105 N Market, Champaign 355-1236 NARGILE | 207 W Clark, Champaign NEIL STREET PUB | 1505 N Neil, Champaign 359-1601 THE OFFICE | 214 W Main, Urbana 344-7608 OPENSOURCE | 12 E. Washington,Champaign http://opensource.boxwith.com PARKLAND COLLEGE | 2400 W Bradley, Champaign 351-2528 PHOENIX | 215 S Neil, Champaign 355-7866 PIA’S OF RANTOUL | Route 136 E, Rantoul 893-8244 RED HERRING/CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana 344-1176 ROSE BOWL TAVERN | 106 N Race, Urbana 367-7031 SIDE BAR | 55 E. Main, Champaign 398-5760 SPRINGER CULTURAL CENTER | 301 N Randolph, Champaign 398-2376 SPURLOCK MUSEUM | 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 THE STATION THEATRE | 223 N Broadway, Urbana 384-4000 STRAWBERRY FIELDS CAFE | 306 W Springfield, Urbana 328-1655 TK WENDL’S | 1901 S Highcross, Urbana 255-5328 TOMMY G’S | 123 S Mattis, Country Fair Shopping Center 359-2177 TONIC | 619 S Wright, Champaign 356-6768 UNIVERSITY YMCA | 1001 S Wright, Champaign 344-0721 URBANA CIVIC CENTER | 108 Water St., Urbana VERDE/VERDANT | 17 E Taylor, Champaign 366-3204 VIRGINIA THEATRE | 203 W Park Ave, Champaign 356-9053 WAKE THE DEAD CAFE | 1210 E. Eldorado St. Decatur 233-4525 WASHINGTON STREET PUB | 600 S. Washington, Tuscola 253-6850 WHITE HORSE INN | 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign 352-5945 ZORBA’S | 627 E Green, Champaign 344-0710

Theater Great Expectations Colwell Playhouse, 7:30, $7-$13

friday

March 4 Live Music Desafinado [bassanova/latin jazz] Cowboy Monkey, 5pm, $2 The Prairie Dogs The Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA The Starting Line, Further Seems Forever, Days Away, Jamison Parker The Canopy Club, 6pm $12/advance, $15/door Artist Reception: Mark Smart [jazz looping] Springer Cultural Center, 6pm, free The Humans, Brenda Anzelc, Jo Pollock, Caleb Keith Band Wake the Dead Cafe, 6-11pm, $4 Baez! Channing Murray Foundation, 7pm, $3 Bread Box The Bridge, 7pm, free Lilia Griffin

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Borders, 8pm, free Sherlock, Evolutions, Cockblock, The Locked Sound Courtyard Cafe 9pm, $3/students, $4/non Kilborn Alley [blues] The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Kate Hathaway Band, David Singer and the Sweet Science Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 ESP [classic rock and new rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Reasonable Doubt [rock] Washington Street Pub, 9pm-1am DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson’s Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am DJ Bozak [hip hop, downtempo] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ J-Phlip Boltini, 10pm, free Genteel Entertainmetn presents DJ Dance Party The Canopy Club, 10pm, TBA DJ Mellow Fellow Nargile, 10pm, free

a s t r o l o g y (March 21-April 19)

(April 20-May 20)

Harvest time in March? That's what the astrological omens say for you Bulls. During the next few weeks you'll be reaping the fruits of all the seeds you've sown since your last birthday. One of the pesky weeds you didn't uproot will also be reaching full bloom, but the tiny bit of blight it engenders will be vastly overshadowed by the richness of your rewards. I suggest you throw a party or two to celebrate your bounty, express gratitude to your helpers, and offer forgiveness to your doubters.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

Events in the coming week may be difficult for some of you to deal with. They will include intense encounters with peace, love, joy, and understanding, as well as possible brushes with extravagant beauty, lyrical delight, and inspiring discoveries. There will be a dearth of storylines that feature betrayal, abuse, pettiness, greed, extortion, disease, and explosions. Therefore, Gemini, you should proceed with extreme caution if you're a jaded hipster who's suspicious of feeling really good. Ask yourself: "Am I ready to stop equating cynicism with insight? Do I dare take the risk that exposing myself to uplifting encounters might dull my intelligence?" If you doubt your ability to handle all the relaxing breakthroughs, you'd better take strong measures to evade them.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

"The average river requires a million years to move a grain of sand one hundred miles," says science writer James Trefil. The work you've been doing on yourself these past two years, Cancerian, must sometimes have seemed as maddeningly gradual. The good news is that you are now in the last few months of this slow-motion, long-term project. If you can sustain your focus, you'll finish up around your birthday, having created such a strong inner sense of sanctuary that you will forever after be able to feel at home in the world no matter where you are.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

I have a tricky assignment for you this week, Leo. It will require you to display an openhearted curiosity as you live on the edge of your understanding. It will ask you to be cheerful and optimistic as you question as many of your certainties as you can. Your challenge is to embody the attitude suggested by Caroline Myss in this passage from her CD, Spiritual Madness: The Necessity of Meeting God in Darkness: "The moment you come to trust chaos, you see God clearly. Chaos is divine order, versus human order. Change is divine order, versus human order. When the chaos becomes safety to you, then you know you're seeing God clearly."

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

In the coming week, people may have a lot to tell you about what you shouldn't think, how you shouldn't act, and whom you shouldn't hang out with. Their counsel will be useful mostly in its revelations about them. If I were you, I wouldn't actually heed much of what they say. What you should trust, though, is your calm, lucid inner voice, especially when it gives you intuitions about what you shouldn't think, how you shouldn't act, and whom you shouldn't hang out with. This is an ideal time to get clearer about the life you don't want to live.

LIBRA

Theater Great Expectations Colwell Playhouse, 7:30, $7-$13 Apathy, Armor and Accusations [one-act plays that offer a look at the effect of the current social climate on our personal lives] Armory Free Theatre, 505 E. Armory, #160, 8pm, free

saturday

March 5 Live Music Benefit Show for Secretary: Secretary, Midnight Fall, The Red Dress,Greenwood, The Mourning After, The Difference Wake the Dead Cafe 6:30-11pm, $5 Herbie Hancock, Roy Hargrove,

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Spankings can raise your intelligence, reports The Weekly World News. Experiments by the Lucerne Institute of Psychological Research showed that college students did better on their exams after having their buns whacked. Increased adrenalin flow may have

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Micheal Brecker [jazz] Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $23-$39 EC Benefit Show: Les Incroyables, Help Me Help Me I Can't Breathe, TheManners, The Opportunists, The Vice Dolls IDF, 8pm, $5-$15 Menomena, Pit Er Pat The Highdive, 8-10pm, $8 Candy Foster and Shades of Blue The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Green St. Records Presents: Triple Whip, Shipwreck, The Elanors, The Lifeline Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $5 Hells Bells, Jim Bean Tommy G's, 10pm, $5 Sinfonia da Camera Foellinger Great Hall 7:30pm, $8-$30 DJ DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Limbs [hip hop, soul, dance] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [hip hop, house, old school] Nargile, 10pm, free

what ’s your sign? m a r

Jon Stewart, host of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show," is a big star now. But on his way to the top, he has sometimes had a laidback attitude towards ambition. "As long as I can remember," he has said, "I wanted to sleep late, stay up late, and do nothing in between." Believe it or not, Aries, I suggest you adopt an equally leisurely approach in the coming week. The best thing you can do to serve your burning desires in the long run is to explore the healing mysteries of being a lazy bum right now.

TAU RU S

DJ Tim Williams [hip hop, house, top 40 dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5 Comedy Potted Meat [sketch comedy] Channing-Murray Foundation 7pm, $3

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contributed to this surprising phenomenon, the psychologists speculated. "The adrenalin combined with the endorphins generated to minimize the pain, and together they opened up previously underutilized neural pathways--turning them into IQ hyperlinks," said one researcher. I bring this up, Libra, because you've got a big life test coming up. If I were you, I'd be willing to try innovative measures to make sure you ace it, including maybe even having a ping-pong paddle administered to your backside. The preparations that helped you through rites of passage in the past may not work this time.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In the coming days, Scorpio, you will almost certainly become pregnant--if not by literally conceiving a fetus, then by germinating the metaphorical equivalent. Do you have any idea about what's getting ready to sprout within you? I hope so, because if you do, it means you're attuned to the secrets that have been ripening in the fertile depths. But if you don't know anything about the new life that's stirring, drop everything and find out. You need to be a fully conscious participant in the gestation.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

"Americans live inside their own private echo chambers," says syndicated writer Matt Zoller Seitz, "endlessly revisiting things they already know they like and avoiding exposure to anything new and different." Your assignment this week, Sagittarius, is to ask yourself if you fit Seitz's description, and then--if you do--to escape your private echo chamber. So for instance, if you're a tattooed pagan performance artist, attend a rodeo or NASCAR race; if you're a Christian Girl Scout leader, listen to Ani DiFranco or Radiohead, or read Noam Chomsky's radical critiques of American foreign policy. If you're an atheistic intellectual, take a workshop in ecstatic Sufi dancing or a class in Buddhist meditation. I think you catch my drift.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

I'd love to see you reach out to the people who you think should have reached out to you by now. I'd love to see you heal rifts with former allies and rebuild bridges you burned down. Even if it feels like a slightly awkward compromise, I'd love to see you offer your services to X-factors and wild cards and loose cannons that aren't exactly making the best use of their powers. How about it, Capricorn? Are you willing to bend a little to gain a lot? Can you imagine giving more slack to flawed possibilities, hoping that your largesse will help them fix their flaws?

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

The astrological omens are unambiguous: In the coming weeks, the entire universe will be conspiring to help you add to your assets, increase your value, and acquire more resources. Does that mean you'll get a raise or inherit your great uncle's ostrich farm? Does it mean you'll enroll in a training program to upgrade your skills and expand your know-how? Or does it mean you'll cultivate a previously underdeveloped part of your personality that will then become more attractive and desirable? I can't say for sure, Aquarius. How it all unfolds will depend on your priorities--and on how aggressively you cooperate with the universal conspiracy.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

In her book, For the Time Being, Annie Dillard says that throughout history many people have thought civilization was on the verge of collapse. Around 300 B.C., Hindus believed they were living in a "degenerate and unfortunate time" known as the Kali Yuga--the lowest point in the great cosmic cycle. In 426 A.D., the Christian writer Augustine mourned that the world was in its last days. In the 1800s, renowned Hasidic Rabbi Nachman grieved for the world's "widespread atheism and immorality." Dillard offers more examples, concluding, "There never was a more holy age than ours, and never a less . . . There is no whit less enlightenment under the tree by your street than there was under the Buddha's bo tree." Go sit under that tree, Pisces. The time for your awakening is now at hand. Homework: We all have a part of us that's rather stupid. Identify what this is for you, and make plans to educate it. Testify at http://www.freewillastrology.com.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

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sound ground #65 TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

music

IT’S SORT OF A MIXTURE OF BACH AND MOZART...SORT OF A “MACH” PIECE.

Once the hotbed of the

downtown rock scene, the Highdive dazzled last weekend with two well-attended early shows. Addison and The Redwalls wonderfully supplemented American Minor, and the More Ways than Three record release/Riley’s Children’s Hospital benefit/Troy Michael birthday party played out like some indie-rock fairy tale: nearly everybody came together over three solid acts and chocolate cake and raised more money than either prior Riley’s Children’s Hospital benefit. It was the second show ever for the Cameron McGill quintet, although the third and fourth followed before the band went back to Chicago. Cameron McGill signed last month to Innocent Words Records and thereupon will issue the second studio album under his own name, Street Ballads & Murderesques, in May 2005. His next show here is March 19 at Mike ‘n Molly’s with Mad Science Fair and The Elanors. Terminus Victor has finished recording and started mixing Under Surveillance, due April 2005. Lorenzo Goetz—whose stage show now incorporates dancers from Ireland and Germany as well as the United States—toured the South (Gulf Coast) last month in promotion of November 2004 album Jesus Elephant and may play another smoke-free show tomorrow with Colonel Rhodes and Shipwreck in Urbana; ask around. Nineties locals Third Stone will reunite for one concert and a possible radio presentation. In the vein of Alice in Chains and Metallica, Third Stone was the first signee and top seller for Hammerhead Records,

buzz weekly •

Dusting For Vomit #1: Shipwreck

this week in music

even over Absinthe Blind. Third Stone last played publicly in 2000 at Assembly Hall to open for Motley Crüe.The reunion is May 14 at The Canopy Club, with Sick Day and Lorenzo Goetz. The show will double as a DVD release of old performances, interviews and bloopers. Disco goes political! “Metaphysical political spacefolk retrorock with funk and finesse” is how Darrin Drda and his quartet, Theory of Everything, describe the music on their December 2003 self-titled debut. So why does the brand-new followup sound like disco and Christmas music? Well, Evolution of the Art is the title. Celebrate its release tonight at 10 at Cowboy Monkey. Larry Gates of Lorenzo Goetz and Brandon T. Washington of Temple of Low Men open, and cover is $3. Friday Night Out: Bread Box and Witness play at The Bridge (upstairs in New Covenant Fellowship) after the 7 p.m. coffeehouse. At Borders, Wheaton singerteacher Lilia Griffin returns for an 8 p.m. performance.These shows are free.Then at 10 p.m., David Singer & The Sweet Science make up their Feb. 25 date at Cowboy Monkey, this time alongside Kate Hathaway Band. Cover is $4. Saturday at Illinois Disciples Foundation, Danville hardcore group Vice Dolls plays its final concert, a benefit for Campaign for Access to Emergency Contraception. On the bill as well are The Opportunists, The Manners, Help Me Help Me I Can’t Breathe and Les Incroyables. Cover is on a $5-15 sliding scale, and show time is 8 p.m.

Editor’s Note: Every week, we’ll be dusting for vomit with a local band or musician that’s gearing up for a show in town. This week, enjoy Shipwreck. - Kyle Gorman 1. Name five bands or musicians that you would want at your show?

Stevie Nicks, The Verve, Guns ‘n’ Roses, Dr. Octagon, Enya.

4. Why should anyone come to your show?

If you’re into the little monkey with the top hat and clanging cymbals or just firing semi-automatic weapons, then you might want to consider a Shipwreck show. We will give you anything you want. If you have any sort of fetish, we’ll make all your dreams come true. You can spit at us or stand in the front row buck naked. We really cater to everyone.

2. Analog or Digital?

Digianal. For obvious reasons.

5. Is Larry Gates (of Lorenzo Goetz) the sexiest man on earth?

3. Where would you rather play: Air Force base or a puppet show?

Are you kidding me? The guy is a Bahaman thoroughbred—like Cabana boy. Twelve moons glow in the southern sky for Larry. He gets all the girls. He’s fathered so many of our celebrities’ children. Last I heard he was dating two gals from the Weather Channel. If Shipwreck wasn’t straight, we would want to hold his hand. Forever. All the hot girls want to gaze into his buttery eyes and bite his fingertips.

Air Force base. No wait. Mid-air puppetry. Pupair middetry. Can we have tubing with fake blood gushing out of the puppets’ mouths while they blather on about taking Jennifer Connelly shoe-shopping? Gorilla puppets with switchblades and Seikos? A parrot swallowing a ferret? Donkey see, donkey do? To tell you the truth, we’re not really sure.They’re both so far out ...

Shipwreck performs @ Cowboy Monkey this Saturday, March 5 w/ Triple Whip,The Elanors and The Lifeline. Cover is $5, which funds Green St. Records 2005 compilation, Playlisted.

Todd J. Hunter hosts “WEFT Sessions” and “Champaign Local 901,” two hours of local music every Monday night at 10 on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

Buzz concert picks for the week Red Stick Ramblers

3/3 @ Channing-Murray Foundation Cost is $10, show starts at 8 p.m. The Red Stick Ramblers, who play a combination of Cajun music and oldschool “Hot Club” jazz, will be playing a smoke-free show at the Channing-Murray Foundation tonight. Before the show, arrive at 7 p.m. for a dance workshop ($5) on the Cajun two-step and waltz. Be ready for fun, tight music and exciting dance.

Triple Whip, Shipwreck, The Elanors and The Lifeline 3/5 @ Cowboy Monkey Cost is $5, show starts at 10 p.m.

Green St. Records is hosting yet another concert showcasing the finest in their bands. Triple Whip plays angular rhythm driven rock music, led by Santanu Rahman’s spirited yet strangely pieced together vocal musings. s o u n d s

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Shipwreck (featured in Dusting For Vomit) is all about Larry Gates.The Elanors and The Lifeline round out the bill in what promises to be a very soldout show. Go early. Capacity at Cowboy Monkey is extremely limited.

Clem Snide, Archer Prewitt and Marbles 3/9 @ The Highdive

Cost is $10, show starts at 9:30pm Clem Snide returns to the Highdive on the heels of their new album End of Love. Expect their brand of alt-country to have evolved by this time.Archer Prewitt is considered a god in many circles, and his performance should be worth the price alone. Marbles is the newest project from Robert Schneider of Apples in Stereo fame. Anyone with even the slightest interest in indie-rock shall be demerited 10 creds for not attending.

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PHOTO COURTESY OF DAVID SOLANA

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HURLY-BURLY Nine Inch Nails will be touring North America in support of their upcoming album With Teeth. The tour kicks off April 27 and runs through May 31 including a May 6-7 engagement at the Congress Theatre in Chicago. Sub Pop’s The Album Leaf have an extensive North American tour planned from March 11 through April 21, including an April 8 date at the Empty Bottle in Chicago. De La Soul have announced a series of dates from March 2 to March 30. Many of the performances will be accompanied by

a symposium on hip-hop music, including March 21 date at Columbia College in Chicago. All tickets are available at the “less-than-a-beer” price of $1.20. Will Oldham, aka Bonnie “Prince” Billy is teaming up with his Louisville counterpart, Matt Sweeney (formerly of Zwan) for a string of dates in April following the release of the frighteningly dynamic, Superwolf. Billy wowed a packed crowd at Nargile last April in a rare club stop in Champaign, but the closest he’s coming to Urbana will be in Columbus, Ohio on April 13 at The Wexner Center for the Arts.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S


IT’S HOTTER THAN YOUR MOM IN HERE.

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"These people are dinosaurs from the dark ages. These pills have solved problems for women who didn't use birth control correctly. It's just one more way women have to control their reproductive health." — Larry Rodick

ROCK

OUT

FOR EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTION Say you’re getting it on, and the condom breaks. Or maybe someone forces himself on you and takes advantage of your body. Whatever the reason, you don’t want to take the chance you might be pregnant. Emergency contraceptives are a way to prevent an unwanted pregnancy up to 120 hours after intercourse. EC is only available to women with a prescription, and sometimes that may be too late. Saturday night, come to the Illinois Disciples Foundation and watch The Vice Dolls, The Manners, The Opportunists, Help Me Help Me I Can’t Breathe, and The Incroyables rock out in support of making emergency contraception available over-the-counter. Brought to you by the Woman’s Booking Collective, the show starts at 8 p.m. and has a $5-$15 admission ticket, depending on what you can afford. For more information about Champaign-Urbana’s Campaign for Access to Emergency Contraception, check out http://www.healthcareconsumers.org/EC/

!

EC Rosie logo courtesy of http://www.healthcareconsumers.org/EC/

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Puzzle

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March 3 Live Music U of I Jazz Combo featuring Chip NcNeill The Iron Post, 7-9pm, TBA Acoustic Music Series: Kara Kulpa Aroma, 8pm, free Kayla Brown Boltini, 8-10pm, free Red Stick Ramblers [cajun/gypsy/swing] Channing-Murray Foundation 8pm, $10 Graham Colton, Blue Merle, Michael Tolcher The Canopy Club, 9pm, $7/advance, $10/door Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Jim Bean Tommy G's, 9pm, free

Leigh Meador Quintet [jazz] Zorba's 9:30pm-12:30am, $3 Theory of Everything CD Release Show with Brandon T. Washington and Larry Gates Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $3 WKIO Conert Series: 1964 The Tribute Virginia Theatre 7pm, $19-$31

McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free

DJ DJ J-Phlip [house] Barfly, 10pm, free House Party: DJ Impact, DJ Eliptik [house] Nargile, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [hip hop and other soulful beats] Boltini, 10:30pm, free Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul 9pm-1am, free

Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free

Dancing UIUC Swing Society

Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign 8pm, $7-$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign 7:30pm, $7-$9

Meetins, Lectures, Discussions C-U Autism Network Monthly Meeting [Featuring speakers Joyce Dill, Board Member of the Champaign County Disabilities Board and Babette Leek, Champaign County Regional Planning Office] Urbana High School, 6:45pm

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S


IT’S HOTTER THAN YOUR MOM IN HERE.

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"These people are dinosaurs from the dark ages. These pills have solved problems for women who didn't use birth control correctly. It's just one more way women have to control their reproductive health." — Larry Rodick

ROCK

OUT

FOR EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTION Say you’re getting it on, and the condom breaks. Or maybe someone forces himself on you and takes advantage of your body. Whatever the reason, you don’t want to take the chance you might be pregnant. Emergency contraceptives are a way to prevent an unwanted pregnancy up to 120 hours after intercourse. EC is only available to women with a prescription, and sometimes that may be too late. Saturday night, come to the Illinois Disciples Foundation and watch The Vice Dolls, The Manners, The Opportunists, Help Me Help Me I Can’t Breathe, and The Incroyables rock out in support of making emergency contraception available over-the-counter. Brought to you by the Woman’s Booking Collective, the show starts at 8 p.m. and has a $5-$15 admission ticket, depending on what you can afford. For more information about Champaign-Urbana’s Campaign for Access to Emergency Contraception, check out http://www.healthcareconsumers.org/EC/

!

EC Rosie logo courtesy of http://www.healthcareconsumers.org/EC/

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

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Puzzle

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March 3 Live Music U of I Jazz Combo featuring Chip NcNeill The Iron Post, 7-9pm, TBA Acoustic Music Series: Kara Kulpa Aroma, 8pm, free Kayla Brown Boltini, 8-10pm, free Red Stick Ramblers [cajun/gypsy/swing] Channing-Murray Foundation 8pm, $10 Graham Colton, Blue Merle, Michael Tolcher The Canopy Club, 9pm, $7/advance, $10/door Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Jim Bean Tommy G's, 9pm, free

Leigh Meador Quintet [jazz] Zorba's 9:30pm-12:30am, $3 Theory of Everything CD Release Show with Brandon T. Washington and Larry Gates Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $3 WKIO Conert Series: 1964 The Tribute Virginia Theatre 7pm, $19-$31

McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free

DJ DJ J-Phlip [house] Barfly, 10pm, free House Party: DJ Impact, DJ Eliptik [house] Nargile, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [hip hop and other soulful beats] Boltini, 10:30pm, free Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul 9pm-1am, free

Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free

Dancing UIUC Swing Society

Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign 8pm, $7-$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign 7:30pm, $7-$9

Meetins, Lectures, Discussions C-U Autism Network Monthly Meeting [Featuring speakers Joyce Dill, Board Member of the Champaign County Disabilities Board and Babette Leek, Champaign County Regional Planning Office] Urbana High School, 6:45pm

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WE CAN TALK AND NOT TALK FOR HOURS.

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ASSEMBLY HALL | First & Florida, Champaign 333-5000 AMERICAN LEGION POST 24 | 705 W Bloomington, Champaign 356-5144 AMERICAN LEGION POST 71 | 107 N Broadway, Urbana 367-3121 BARFLY | 120 N Neil, Champaign 352-9756 BOLTINI LOUNGE | 211 N Neil, Champaign 378-8001 BOARDMAN’S ART THEATER | 126 W Church, Champaign 351-0068 THE BRASS RAIL | 15 E University, Champaign 352-7512 THE BRIDGE | 124 W. White St. Champaign THE CANOPY CLUB (GARDEN GRILL) | 708 S Goodwin, Urbana 367-3140 CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana CIVITAS | 112 Main St., Urbana0 COURTYARD CAFE | Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana 333-4666 COWBOY MONKEY | 6 Taylor, Champaign 398-2688 CURTIS ORCHARD | 3902 S Duncan, Champaign 359-5565 D.R. DIGGERS | 604 S Country Fair, Champaign 356-0888 ELMER’S CLUB 45 | 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana 344-3101 EMBASSY TAVERN & GRILL | 114 S Race, Urbana 384-9526 ESQUIRE LOUNGE | 106 N Walnut, Champaign 398-5858 FALLON’S ICE HOUSE | 703 N Prospect, Champaign 398-5760 FAT CITY SALOON | 505 S Chestnut, Champaign 356-7100 THE GREAT IMPASTA | 114 W Church, Champaign 359-7377 THE HIGHDIVE | 51 Main, Champaign 359-4444 HUBER’S | 1312 W Church, Champaign 352-0606 ILLINOIS DISCIPLES FOUNDATION | 610 E Springfield, Champaign 352-8721 INDEPENDENT MEDIA CENTER | 218 W Main, Urbana 344-8820 THE IRON POST | 120 S Race, Urbana 337-7678 JACKSON’S RIBS-N-TIPS| 116 N First, Champaign 355-2916 JOE’S BREWERY | 706 S Fifth, Champaign 384-1790 KRANNERT ART MUSEUM | 500 E Peabody, Champaign 333-1861 KRANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS | 500 S Goodwin, Urbana Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX LA CASA CULTURAL LATINA | 1203 W Nevada, Urbana 333-4950

LAVA | 1906 W Bradley, Champaign 352-8714 LES’S LOUNGE | 403 N Coler, Urbana 328-4000 LINCOLN CASTLE | 209 S Broadway, Urbana 344-7720 MALIBU BAY LOUNGE | North Route 45, Urbana 328-7415 MIKE ‘N’ MOLLY’S | 105 N Market, Champaign 355-1236 NARGILE | 207 W Clark, Champaign NEIL STREET PUB | 1505 N Neil, Champaign 359-1601 THE OFFICE | 214 W Main, Urbana 344-7608 OPENSOURCE | 12 E. Washington,Champaign http://opensource.boxwith.com PARKLAND COLLEGE | 2400 W Bradley, Champaign 351-2528 PHOENIX | 215 S Neil, Champaign 355-7866 PIA’S OF RANTOUL | Route 136 E, Rantoul 893-8244 RED HERRING/CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana 344-1176 ROSE BOWL TAVERN | 106 N Race, Urbana 367-7031 SIDE BAR | 55 E. Main, Champaign 398-5760 SPRINGER CULTURAL CENTER | 301 N Randolph, Champaign 398-2376 SPURLOCK MUSEUM | 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 THE STATION THEATRE | 223 N Broadway, Urbana 384-4000 STRAWBERRY FIELDS CAFE | 306 W Springfield, Urbana 328-1655 TK WENDL’S | 1901 S Highcross, Urbana 255-5328 TOMMY G’S | 123 S Mattis, Country Fair Shopping Center 359-2177 TONIC | 619 S Wright, Champaign 356-6768 UNIVERSITY YMCA | 1001 S Wright, Champaign 344-0721 URBANA CIVIC CENTER | 108 Water St., Urbana VERDE/VERDANT | 17 E Taylor, Champaign 366-3204 VIRGINIA THEATRE | 203 W Park Ave, Champaign 356-9053 WAKE THE DEAD CAFE | 1210 E. Eldorado St. Decatur 233-4525 WASHINGTON STREET PUB | 600 S. Washington, Tuscola 253-6850 WHITE HORSE INN | 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign 352-5945 ZORBA’S | 627 E Green, Champaign 344-0710

Theater Great Expectations Colwell Playhouse, 7:30, $7-$13

friday

March 4 Live Music Desafinado [bassanova/latin jazz] Cowboy Monkey, 5pm, $2 The Prairie Dogs The Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA The Starting Line, Further Seems Forever, Days Away, Jamison Parker The Canopy Club, 6pm $12/advance, $15/door Artist Reception: Mark Smart [jazz looping] Springer Cultural Center, 6pm, free The Humans, Brenda Anzelc, Jo Pollock, Caleb Keith Band Wake the Dead Cafe, 6-11pm, $4 Baez! Channing Murray Foundation, 7pm, $3 Bread Box The Bridge, 7pm, free Lilia Griffin

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Borders, 8pm, free Sherlock, Evolutions, Cockblock, The Locked Sound Courtyard Cafe 9pm, $3/students, $4/non Kilborn Alley [blues] The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Kate Hathaway Band, David Singer and the Sweet Science Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 ESP [classic rock and new rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Reasonable Doubt [rock] Washington Street Pub, 9pm-1am DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson’s Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am DJ Bozak [hip hop, downtempo] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ J-Phlip Boltini, 10pm, free Genteel Entertainmetn presents DJ Dance Party The Canopy Club, 10pm, TBA DJ Mellow Fellow Nargile, 10pm, free

a s t r o l o g y (March 21-April 19)

(April 20-May 20)

Harvest time in March? That's what the astrological omens say for you Bulls. During the next few weeks you'll be reaping the fruits of all the seeds you've sown since your last birthday. One of the pesky weeds you didn't uproot will also be reaching full bloom, but the tiny bit of blight it engenders will be vastly overshadowed by the richness of your rewards. I suggest you throw a party or two to celebrate your bounty, express gratitude to your helpers, and offer forgiveness to your doubters.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

Events in the coming week may be difficult for some of you to deal with. They will include intense encounters with peace, love, joy, and understanding, as well as possible brushes with extravagant beauty, lyrical delight, and inspiring discoveries. There will be a dearth of storylines that feature betrayal, abuse, pettiness, greed, extortion, disease, and explosions. Therefore, Gemini, you should proceed with extreme caution if you're a jaded hipster who's suspicious of feeling really good. Ask yourself: "Am I ready to stop equating cynicism with insight? Do I dare take the risk that exposing myself to uplifting encounters might dull my intelligence?" If you doubt your ability to handle all the relaxing breakthroughs, you'd better take strong measures to evade them.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

"The average river requires a million years to move a grain of sand one hundred miles," says science writer James Trefil. The work you've been doing on yourself these past two years, Cancerian, must sometimes have seemed as maddeningly gradual. The good news is that you are now in the last few months of this slow-motion, long-term project. If you can sustain your focus, you'll finish up around your birthday, having created such a strong inner sense of sanctuary that you will forever after be able to feel at home in the world no matter where you are.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

I have a tricky assignment for you this week, Leo. It will require you to display an openhearted curiosity as you live on the edge of your understanding. It will ask you to be cheerful and optimistic as you question as many of your certainties as you can. Your challenge is to embody the attitude suggested by Caroline Myss in this passage from her CD, Spiritual Madness: The Necessity of Meeting God in Darkness: "The moment you come to trust chaos, you see God clearly. Chaos is divine order, versus human order. Change is divine order, versus human order. When the chaos becomes safety to you, then you know you're seeing God clearly."

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

In the coming week, people may have a lot to tell you about what you shouldn't think, how you shouldn't act, and whom you shouldn't hang out with. Their counsel will be useful mostly in its revelations about them. If I were you, I wouldn't actually heed much of what they say. What you should trust, though, is your calm, lucid inner voice, especially when it gives you intuitions about what you shouldn't think, how you shouldn't act, and whom you shouldn't hang out with. This is an ideal time to get clearer about the life you don't want to live.

LIBRA

Theater Great Expectations Colwell Playhouse, 7:30, $7-$13 Apathy, Armor and Accusations [one-act plays that offer a look at the effect of the current social climate on our personal lives] Armory Free Theatre, 505 E. Armory, #160, 8pm, free

saturday

March 5 Live Music Benefit Show for Secretary: Secretary, Midnight Fall, The Red Dress,Greenwood, The Mourning After, The Difference Wake the Dead Cafe 6:30-11pm, $5 Herbie Hancock, Roy Hargrove,

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Spankings can raise your intelligence, reports The Weekly World News. Experiments by the Lucerne Institute of Psychological Research showed that college students did better on their exams after having their buns whacked. Increased adrenalin flow may have

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Micheal Brecker [jazz] Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $23-$39 EC Benefit Show: Les Incroyables, Help Me Help Me I Can't Breathe, TheManners, The Opportunists, The Vice Dolls IDF, 8pm, $5-$15 Menomena, Pit Er Pat The Highdive, 8-10pm, $8 Candy Foster and Shades of Blue The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Green St. Records Presents: Triple Whip, Shipwreck, The Elanors, The Lifeline Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $5 Hells Bells, Jim Bean Tommy G's, 10pm, $5 Sinfonia da Camera Foellinger Great Hall 7:30pm, $8-$30 DJ DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Limbs [hip hop, soul, dance] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [hip hop, house, old school] Nargile, 10pm, free

what ’s your sign? m a r

Jon Stewart, host of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show," is a big star now. But on his way to the top, he has sometimes had a laidback attitude towards ambition. "As long as I can remember," he has said, "I wanted to sleep late, stay up late, and do nothing in between." Believe it or not, Aries, I suggest you adopt an equally leisurely approach in the coming week. The best thing you can do to serve your burning desires in the long run is to explore the healing mysteries of being a lazy bum right now.

TAU RU S

DJ Tim Williams [hip hop, house, top 40 dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5 Comedy Potted Meat [sketch comedy] Channing-Murray Foundation 7pm, $3

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contributed to this surprising phenomenon, the psychologists speculated. "The adrenalin combined with the endorphins generated to minimize the pain, and together they opened up previously underutilized neural pathways--turning them into IQ hyperlinks," said one researcher. I bring this up, Libra, because you've got a big life test coming up. If I were you, I'd be willing to try innovative measures to make sure you ace it, including maybe even having a ping-pong paddle administered to your backside. The preparations that helped you through rites of passage in the past may not work this time.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In the coming days, Scorpio, you will almost certainly become pregnant--if not by literally conceiving a fetus, then by germinating the metaphorical equivalent. Do you have any idea about what's getting ready to sprout within you? I hope so, because if you do, it means you're attuned to the secrets that have been ripening in the fertile depths. But if you don't know anything about the new life that's stirring, drop everything and find out. You need to be a fully conscious participant in the gestation.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

"Americans live inside their own private echo chambers," says syndicated writer Matt Zoller Seitz, "endlessly revisiting things they already know they like and avoiding exposure to anything new and different." Your assignment this week, Sagittarius, is to ask yourself if you fit Seitz's description, and then--if you do--to escape your private echo chamber. So for instance, if you're a tattooed pagan performance artist, attend a rodeo or NASCAR race; if you're a Christian Girl Scout leader, listen to Ani DiFranco or Radiohead, or read Noam Chomsky's radical critiques of American foreign policy. If you're an atheistic intellectual, take a workshop in ecstatic Sufi dancing or a class in Buddhist meditation. I think you catch my drift.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

I'd love to see you reach out to the people who you think should have reached out to you by now. I'd love to see you heal rifts with former allies and rebuild bridges you burned down. Even if it feels like a slightly awkward compromise, I'd love to see you offer your services to X-factors and wild cards and loose cannons that aren't exactly making the best use of their powers. How about it, Capricorn? Are you willing to bend a little to gain a lot? Can you imagine giving more slack to flawed possibilities, hoping that your largesse will help them fix their flaws?

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

The astrological omens are unambiguous: In the coming weeks, the entire universe will be conspiring to help you add to your assets, increase your value, and acquire more resources. Does that mean you'll get a raise or inherit your great uncle's ostrich farm? Does it mean you'll enroll in a training program to upgrade your skills and expand your know-how? Or does it mean you'll cultivate a previously underdeveloped part of your personality that will then become more attractive and desirable? I can't say for sure, Aquarius. How it all unfolds will depend on your priorities--and on how aggressively you cooperate with the universal conspiracy.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

In her book, For the Time Being, Annie Dillard says that throughout history many people have thought civilization was on the verge of collapse. Around 300 B.C., Hindus believed they were living in a "degenerate and unfortunate time" known as the Kali Yuga--the lowest point in the great cosmic cycle. In 426 A.D., the Christian writer Augustine mourned that the world was in its last days. In the 1800s, renowned Hasidic Rabbi Nachman grieved for the world's "widespread atheism and immorality." Dillard offers more examples, concluding, "There never was a more holy age than ours, and never a less . . . There is no whit less enlightenment under the tree by your street than there was under the Buddha's bo tree." Go sit under that tree, Pisces. The time for your awakening is now at hand. Homework: We all have a part of us that's rather stupid. Identify what this is for you, and make plans to educate it. Testify at http://www.freewillastrology.com.

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sound ground #65 TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

music

IT’S SORT OF A MIXTURE OF BACH AND MOZART...SORT OF A “MACH” PIECE.

Once the hotbed of the

downtown rock scene, the Highdive dazzled last weekend with two well-attended early shows. Addison and The Redwalls wonderfully supplemented American Minor, and the More Ways than Three record release/Riley’s Children’s Hospital benefit/Troy Michael birthday party played out like some indie-rock fairy tale: nearly everybody came together over three solid acts and chocolate cake and raised more money than either prior Riley’s Children’s Hospital benefit. It was the second show ever for the Cameron McGill quintet, although the third and fourth followed before the band went back to Chicago. Cameron McGill signed last month to Innocent Words Records and thereupon will issue the second studio album under his own name, Street Ballads & Murderesques, in May 2005. His next show here is March 19 at Mike ‘n Molly’s with Mad Science Fair and The Elanors. Terminus Victor has finished recording and started mixing Under Surveillance, due April 2005. Lorenzo Goetz—whose stage show now incorporates dancers from Ireland and Germany as well as the United States—toured the South (Gulf Coast) last month in promotion of November 2004 album Jesus Elephant and may play another smoke-free show tomorrow with Colonel Rhodes and Shipwreck in Urbana; ask around. Nineties locals Third Stone will reunite for one concert and a possible radio presentation. In the vein of Alice in Chains and Metallica, Third Stone was the first signee and top seller for Hammerhead Records,

buzz weekly •

Dusting For Vomit #1: Shipwreck

this week in music

even over Absinthe Blind. Third Stone last played publicly in 2000 at Assembly Hall to open for Motley Crüe.The reunion is May 14 at The Canopy Club, with Sick Day and Lorenzo Goetz. The show will double as a DVD release of old performances, interviews and bloopers. Disco goes political! “Metaphysical political spacefolk retrorock with funk and finesse” is how Darrin Drda and his quartet, Theory of Everything, describe the music on their December 2003 self-titled debut. So why does the brand-new followup sound like disco and Christmas music? Well, Evolution of the Art is the title. Celebrate its release tonight at 10 at Cowboy Monkey. Larry Gates of Lorenzo Goetz and Brandon T. Washington of Temple of Low Men open, and cover is $3. Friday Night Out: Bread Box and Witness play at The Bridge (upstairs in New Covenant Fellowship) after the 7 p.m. coffeehouse. At Borders, Wheaton singerteacher Lilia Griffin returns for an 8 p.m. performance.These shows are free.Then at 10 p.m., David Singer & The Sweet Science make up their Feb. 25 date at Cowboy Monkey, this time alongside Kate Hathaway Band. Cover is $4. Saturday at Illinois Disciples Foundation, Danville hardcore group Vice Dolls plays its final concert, a benefit for Campaign for Access to Emergency Contraception. On the bill as well are The Opportunists, The Manners, Help Me Help Me I Can’t Breathe and Les Incroyables. Cover is on a $5-15 sliding scale, and show time is 8 p.m.

Editor’s Note: Every week, we’ll be dusting for vomit with a local band or musician that’s gearing up for a show in town. This week, enjoy Shipwreck. - Kyle Gorman 1. Name five bands or musicians that you would want at your show?

Stevie Nicks, The Verve, Guns ‘n’ Roses, Dr. Octagon, Enya.

4. Why should anyone come to your show?

If you’re into the little monkey with the top hat and clanging cymbals or just firing semi-automatic weapons, then you might want to consider a Shipwreck show. We will give you anything you want. If you have any sort of fetish, we’ll make all your dreams come true. You can spit at us or stand in the front row buck naked. We really cater to everyone.

2. Analog or Digital?

Digianal. For obvious reasons.

5. Is Larry Gates (of Lorenzo Goetz) the sexiest man on earth?

3. Where would you rather play: Air Force base or a puppet show?

Are you kidding me? The guy is a Bahaman thoroughbred—like Cabana boy. Twelve moons glow in the southern sky for Larry. He gets all the girls. He’s fathered so many of our celebrities’ children. Last I heard he was dating two gals from the Weather Channel. If Shipwreck wasn’t straight, we would want to hold his hand. Forever. All the hot girls want to gaze into his buttery eyes and bite his fingertips.

Air Force base. No wait. Mid-air puppetry. Pupair middetry. Can we have tubing with fake blood gushing out of the puppets’ mouths while they blather on about taking Jennifer Connelly shoe-shopping? Gorilla puppets with switchblades and Seikos? A parrot swallowing a ferret? Donkey see, donkey do? To tell you the truth, we’re not really sure.They’re both so far out ...

Shipwreck performs @ Cowboy Monkey this Saturday, March 5 w/ Triple Whip,The Elanors and The Lifeline. Cover is $5, which funds Green St. Records 2005 compilation, Playlisted.

Todd J. Hunter hosts “WEFT Sessions” and “Champaign Local 901,” two hours of local music every Monday night at 10 on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

Buzz concert picks for the week Red Stick Ramblers

3/3 @ Channing-Murray Foundation Cost is $10, show starts at 8 p.m. The Red Stick Ramblers, who play a combination of Cajun music and oldschool “Hot Club” jazz, will be playing a smoke-free show at the Channing-Murray Foundation tonight. Before the show, arrive at 7 p.m. for a dance workshop ($5) on the Cajun two-step and waltz. Be ready for fun, tight music and exciting dance.

Triple Whip, Shipwreck, The Elanors and The Lifeline 3/5 @ Cowboy Monkey Cost is $5, show starts at 10 p.m.

Green St. Records is hosting yet another concert showcasing the finest in their bands. Triple Whip plays angular rhythm driven rock music, led by Santanu Rahman’s spirited yet strangely pieced together vocal musings. s o u n d s

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Shipwreck (featured in Dusting For Vomit) is all about Larry Gates.The Elanors and The Lifeline round out the bill in what promises to be a very soldout show. Go early. Capacity at Cowboy Monkey is extremely limited.

Clem Snide, Archer Prewitt and Marbles 3/9 @ The Highdive

Cost is $10, show starts at 9:30pm Clem Snide returns to the Highdive on the heels of their new album End of Love. Expect their brand of alt-country to have evolved by this time.Archer Prewitt is considered a god in many circles, and his performance should be worth the price alone. Marbles is the newest project from Robert Schneider of Apples in Stereo fame. Anyone with even the slightest interest in indie-rock shall be demerited 10 creds for not attending.

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PHOTO COURTESY OF DAVID SOLANA

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HURLY-BURLY Nine Inch Nails will be touring North America in support of their upcoming album With Teeth. The tour kicks off April 27 and runs through May 31 including a May 6-7 engagement at the Congress Theatre in Chicago. Sub Pop’s The Album Leaf have an extensive North American tour planned from March 11 through April 21, including an April 8 date at the Empty Bottle in Chicago. De La Soul have announced a series of dates from March 2 to March 30. Many of the performances will be accompanied by

a symposium on hip-hop music, including March 21 date at Columbia College in Chicago. All tickets are available at the “less-than-a-beer” price of $1.20. Will Oldham, aka Bonnie “Prince” Billy is teaming up with his Louisville counterpart, Matt Sweeney (formerly of Zwan) for a string of dates in April following the release of the frighteningly dynamic, Superwolf. Billy wowed a packed crowd at Nargile last April in a rare club stop in Champaign, but the closest he’s coming to Urbana will be in Columbus, Ohio on April 13 at The Wexner Center for the Arts.

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ROCK ME, JOE...

M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

CHILLIN’ WITH KELLER WILLIAMS With an unabashedly fun, quirky song-

writing voice and a knack for inventing infectious rhythmic grooves (not to mention the rather impressive layers of sound he can get out of live phrase sampling of his own playing), singer-songwriter-guitarist Keller Williams is exactly the kind of hardto-pigeonhole entertainer that the majority of mainstream media tends to ignore. When asked if, 10 years into his career as a performer, his perspective on the music industry has changed, he says no. “I never really looked to the labels as a savior … I am still way off mainstream radar, and never really had high hopes for the actual [music] industry. I’ve always had somewhat selfish reasons for playing: to entertain myself, and hopefully I can entertain other people, too.” Nevertheless, for an independent artist, Williams has managed to attract and sustain a relatively large—and loyal—following, something he attributes mainly to persistence and grassroots support. “It’s taken years to get to this point. It’s simply returning to the same towns year after year; start small, keep doing it, and hopefully people bring their friends next time,” Williams remarks, adding that overall, he is happy with where his career is right now. “It’s quite comfortable for me in my own little world.” Although he is a songwriter and performer, Williams notes that he never learned how to read music notation. “I wrote my first song when I was about 12. I was taking piano lessons, and it came time for the recital, but I couldn’t read music or anything, so I just kind of made up my own song.” Indeed, with original songs to his credit including ones titled “Love Handles,”“Kidney in a Cooler” and “Blazeabago,” one of the best parts of what Williams has to offer is his own unique songwriting voice. “A lot of those [songs] are basic things that actually happened. Some are tidbits of conversations that got turned into a fictional tale, and sometimes I just use my imagination.” For his vocal songs,Williams says that the words usually come to him before the music does, whereas the instrumental ones come from “mindlessly doodling” on the guitar. Generally speaking, however, “I try to stay away from politics and sappy love songs … but I am in love, so there are some,”Williams comments, though he shies away from love song cliches. Williams names the release he gets from being onstage as his favorite part. “I have tons of music kicking around inside my head, and I want the music to be out. It’s not the same at home, because at home, you can be playing, but the phone can ring, and you get distracted. If the phone rings while you’re onstage, you can’t answer it.” His job as a musician is “to entertain, to help people get out of

their heads for a few hours, forget their worries and the world struggles going on right now.” When I spoke with Williams, he was gearing up to start his current tour. “We’re doing 15 shows in 19 days,” with his appearance at The Canopy Club in Urbana scheduled near the end. “When it gets close to the last show of a tour, there’s always a special energy.” Although touring has its hardships—such as the tendency to get “quick and easy food,” which makes it “very easy to be unhealthy” and “put pounds on when on the road”—Williams says he likes that he gets to “see the world and get paid for it—or at least pay your expenses.” He also encourages people to come out to the live shows, remarking that, “It’s really hard to get to know what I’m about without seeing the show.” Williams has been quite busy with recording, touring and his own radio show (Keller’s Cellar—”Somewhat Ruleless Radio”) for the past couple of years, and has several projects in the works for 2005 as well, which include “picking some bluegrass with friends,” a forthcoming DVD release and a new studio project featuring collaborations with other artists, something that Williams says he’s been wanting to do for a while. Williams also added that “We just had a baby … so she’s filling my life with all kinds of goodness right now ... She’s my next 18-year plan.” buzz

Keller Williams will be appearing this Sunday, March 6, at The Canopy Club in Urbana. The show begins at 9 p.m. and tickets are $18.

Keller Williams Stage SCI Fidelity BY SUSAN SCHOMBURG

The WPGU/Buzz Local Music Awards, a con-

Each of Keller Williams’s albums has its own stylistic flavor, while at the same time remaining unabashedly within the span of his own musical style. Stage, Williams’s ninth release to date, is no exception. The recording captures a series of live performances on two discs, each of which attempts to capture a different audience vibe: according to the liner notes, a “seated listening audience” versus a “seatless dancing party.” As Williams seems to consider himself more of a live performer (who happens to also record CDs) rather than a recording artist per se, this album, like his earlier live release, Loop, might be thought of as more representative of his work. The main criticism I have of this album is the preponderance of covers—something that is not nearly as prevalent on Williams’s other releases— which eat up valuable space on the discs that could have been used to capture live renditions of more of his own songs. Although covers generally tend to be a staple of any live act—if only from the need of more material to fill out the sets—Williams’s talent for inventing catchy instrumental grooves, as well as the quirky originality of his songs’ lyrics, make the inclusion of covers of other people’s songs on this release (such as a needlessly long version of Buffalo Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth”) wholly unnecessary.With this in mind, it must be added that Williams at least has the good taste to make the songs his own by transforming them into his own idiom, rather than merely copying what someone else already did. Highlights of the album include the infectiously happy “Keep it Simple,” the humorous words to “Novelty Song” set in a sort of free recitational vocal style, the delicate layers of timbre that unfold in “Celebrate Your Youth,” and the driving virtuosity of the instrumental “Shapes of M+M’s.” Also, having said the above about the presence of covers on this album, I have to admit that Williams’s rendition of “Moondance”— abstracted so far from its original source that it almost seems like a new song, with several improvisational forays into the unknown and then segueing back into the pocket of the song as he set it up at the outset—is most impressive. Williams’s work is, first and foremost, music to make people happy, and, as usual, is quite successful.This release is no exception; it is a solid effort, and definitely worth the time it takes to hear.

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cert and awards ceremony for local bands and artists committed to our music community, will take place on April 7 at the Highdive. It’s our intention to recognize the best of our burgeoning scene. Listeners and readers will be able to vote for their favorites at cumusicawards.com starting today until March 28. In addition to the categories below, you’ll be able to vote for awards such as Best Live Act. Listen to WPGU 107.1 FM, and read the upcoming issues of Buzz for more information on the show, including profiles of all the musicians. Below are the nominees:

Best Rock Group:

M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

buzz weekly

HELLO, I’VE GOT LEGS.

DJ Tim Williams [hip hop, house, top 40 dance] DJ Dance Party The Canopy Club, 10:30pm, TBA DJ Mighty Dog Jackson’s Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am

mate on our personal lives] Armory Free Theatre, 505 E. Armory, #160, 8pm, free

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Sappy's on Devenshire 9pm-12am, free

March 6 Live Music Keller Williams The Canopy Club 9pm, $18/advance, $20/door The Crystal River Band [country] Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Free Rock Show: Ambitious Pie Party, TBA Tommy G's, 9pm, free Bobaflex, None Taken, Dropsixx, Maxlider The Highdive, 9:30pm, $5 Col. Rhodes, The Hubbards, SNMNMNMN Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Irish Traditional Music Session Mike & Molly's, 5pm. TBA Irish Music & Dance Festival: BowDacious String Band with Society for Celtic Cultures and Irish Local Musicians Lincoln Square Mall, 3pm, free Kilborn Alley Jackson’s Ribs-N-Tips, 8-11pm Imani Winds [wind quintent] Foellinger Great Hall, 3pm, $5-$34 Jordan Kaye and the Prarie Dogs Grace United Methodist Church of

Family Dr. Suess Birthday Party [celebrty readers, activity booths, toddler areas] Lincoln Square Mall, 10am-2pm, free American Girl Fashion Show Virginia Theatre 10am, 2pm & 7pm, $25 The 21st Annual Parkland Farm Toy Show Technology Applications Center at Parkland College 9am-3pm, $2, 351-2406 Meet the Author: Maureen Hughes Illini Union Bookstore, 12pm Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free Theater Great Expectations Colwell Playhouse, 7:30, $7-$13 Apathy, Armor and Accusations [one-act plays that offer a look at the effect of the current social cli-

Headlights American Minor The Living Blue Lorenzo Goetz Triple Whip

Urbana, 6pm, donations accepcted Cat Catalini [introduces the forgotten women behind popular music of the past 200 years] Champaign Public Library, 2pm, free

Ear Candy [local house music DJ's] Nargile, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [hip hop and other soulful beats] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Delayney Nargile, 10pm, $5 DJ Bozak [80's rewind] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Family Monday Mania [Play with your infant/toddler in a gym atmosphere] Leonard Recreation Center 1212 W. Sangamon Dr. 10am-12pm, $2/CPD member, $3/non

Theater Great Expectations Colwell Playhouse, 3pm, $7-$13

March 7 Live Music Jazz Jam with ParaDocs The Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA Quadremedy [rock] Tommy G's, 10pm, free DJ UC Hip Hop presents Chill in the Grill The Canopy Club, 9pm, free DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop, R&B, lounge] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

March 8 Live Music Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Mike Ingram The Canopy Club 9pm, 21+/free, under 21/$2 The Crystal River Band [country] Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Terminus Victor, The Chemicals Nargile, 10pm, $3 Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Psyche Origami [live hip hop] Cowboy Monkey, 11pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Prague Symphony Orchestra Foellinger Great Hall

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7:30pm, $32-$47 DJ DJ Sophisto [house] Barfly, 10pm, free Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin [industrial, darkwave, electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ J-Phlip Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Tommy G's, 10pm, free

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's Chill and Grill, 9pm, free

Comedy Frank Roche, TBA The Canopy Club, 7-10pm, $5

Theater Apathy, Armor and Accusations [one-act plays that offer a look at the effect of the current social climate on our personal lives] Allen Hall, 8pm, free

March 9 Live Music Ed O'Hara and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Clem Snide, Archer Prewitt, Marbles The Highdive, 9:30pm, $10 Freespace The Canopy Club, 10pm, $2 Blues Night: Kilborn Alley

DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggea] Barfly, 10PM, FREE DJ Limbs [hip hop, soul, dance] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Family Around the World Wednesdays [crafts and games from around the world for families] Spurlock Museum, 9:30am-12pm, $1 donation Theater Opera Verdi Europa: Carmen Tryon Festival Theater, 7:30pm, $18-$33 Apathy, Armor and Accusations [one-act plays that offer a look at the effect of the currentsocial climate on our personal lives] Illini Orange Snack Bar 7:15pm, free

Best Roots Group: Tractor Kings elsinore The Beauty Shop Kilborn Alley Blues Band Green Mountain Grass

jonesin crossword puzzle

Across 1 Like, yesterday 5 "Pet me!" to a cat 9 Dime dude 12 Attachable brick 13 Mr. Darko 15 Lucy of "Kill Bill: Vol. 2" 16 Meal in a pot 17 Ditzy Minnesotan character on "The Golden Girls" 19 Rowlands of "The Notebook" 21 Creative thinkers 22 Founder of the Motown label 26 "Chicago" star 27 Goran Ivanisevic, notably 28 Boxer's stat 30 Lithuania, once: abbr. 31 Insurance group name found on coins

Best Hip-Hop Group: Animate Objects Krukid Brain Housing Group Melodic Scribes The Agenda

Best Male Artist: Brandon T. Washington Cameron McGill Mike Ingram Jason Finkelman Rob McColley

Best Female Artist: Angie Heaton Dawna Nelson Kate Hathaway Joni Laurence Kayla Brown

Best DJ:

PHOTO COURTESY OF KELLERWILLIAMS.COM

SUSAN SCHOMBURG • STAFF WRITER

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DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ

Best Record:

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Down 1 Cohn and Capone 2 Volleyball move 3 Demographic, maybe 4 Equipment for metal guitarists 5 Brahma sound 6 Ninny's threesome? 7 New York native 8 Midwestern metro area, with "The" 9 Log rides 10 Places like Mel's and

Arnold's 11 Comedian Rita 13 Bummer 14 Word after evil or blind 18 Trail 20 "All the News That's Fit to Print" source, for short 22 Victoria's Secret measure, maybe 23 Sea eagle variety 24 Utah's "Family City USA" 25 Go back to 29 Trendsetting 32 Guano, basically 34 Kinski who's had relationships with Roman Polanski and Quincy Jones 36 Pitcher's number 37 Tamil ___ (state at India's southern tip)

38 Where Old West criminals get put 39 She costars with Nicollette and Marcia 40 Opposite in Chinese beliefs 44 Bond villain who throws a steel-brimmed hat 45 Feature of new bedsheets 46 Mocked for sport 48 For this reason, in legalese 49 Part of RSVP 51 Stock with weapons 53 68-across opposites 55 Point count on the Magen David 58 Gibson/Sawyer show, for short 59 180 61 Chemical suffix 62 Behavior modifier?

WIN FINAL FOUR TICKETS!!!

Poster Children • No More Songs About Sleep And Fire Cameron McGill • Stories of The Knife And The Back The Living Blue • Living in Blue (released under the name “The Blackouts”) Beauty Shop • Crisis Helpline The Elanors • A Year To Demonstrate

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60 Dairy choice 63 Sugary suffix 64 Competition that used to include street luge 65 Source of some mind tricks? 66 Place for love 67 Hang around 68 53-down opposites

GRAND OPENING! March 5 • Green St. Café

Bozak Resonate Delayney Limbs Tim Williams

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32 Piece of equipment, in UNIX code 33 "Am ___ the ballpark?" 35 Cartoon character who gets called "sir" 41 Packed theater sign 42 Utter 43 Stadium really close to LaGuardia Airport 44 National Coming Out Day mo. 47 Agricultural pest 49 Self-proclaimed "King of All Media" 50 Actress de Matteo who moved from "The Sopranos" to "Joey" 52 Porker Porky porks, presumably 54 Letter opener? 56 As well 57 She played Roxy on "Dead Like Me"

Drink Specials ALL NIGHT LONG Located at 35 E. Green (Locust & Green, next to Pizza Planet)

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$8.99 Hookahs Stop in today for details

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c


“We’re all very interested in, and sort of sticklers for, aesthetics in general. “My grandmother started walking five5 miles a day when she was 6osixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where 97 the hell she is.”

Why make something mediocre?” -Justin Harris

-Ellen DeGeneres

THE WAY WE WALK

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ILLUSTRATION BY SUE JANNA TRUSCOTT

he idea of “walking as an art form” is an interesting concept, one that is being explored in a series of events titled “Walking as Knowing as Making:A peripatetic investigation of place,” sponsored mainly by the College of Fine and Applied Arts. There are five main sessions throughout the spring semester, featuring walkers from a variety of backgrounds. Kevin Hamilton, an assistant professor at the university, talked with Nicholas Brown, a graduate student, about “walking as a practice.”Together they formed the spring events. “Walking, a practice we take for granted, has become a favorite subject of kinesiologists, ecologists, activists, artists, historians, geographers. Nick and I thought we should try to get some of these people talking to each other,” explained Hamilton. And they have gotten a very eclectic group of 18 people for the five sessions from many different fields, almost all of them have PhDs, and everyone has an impressive and unique background. This includes Dennis Bank, a Native American activist who founded the American Indian Movement, which is dedicated to preserving Indian traditions, and John Francis, a U.N. and Goodwill ambassador who for 17 years did not speak and for 22 years did not use any type of motorized transportation. The “Walking as Knowing as Making”Web site explains that the project’s purpose is “to nurture both a theoretical and applied approach to knowing and interpreting place as we experience and construct it through walking.” Although walking is seen as slow and ineffective in our fast-paced lives, the project sees walking “as a conversation between the body and the world… a reciprocal and simultaneous act of both interpretation and manipulation.” Hamilton explained that the program focuses both on art and science. “Walking engages both of these practices—when we walk we observe, perceive, collect information that we might not gather by car or faster technology. But we also make things when we walk—we produce new relationships between ourselves and other people, between ourselves and the land, the history of places.” This semester-long project also includes other activities. For instance, Hamish Fulton, a sculptor, photographer, conceptual artist and land artist, has created an installation for the Krannert Art Museum about his walks in

Champaign County.This exhibit runs March 5-July 31.There will be a film series about place, a series of walks and tours, a monthly sound collage to be broadcasted on local radio stations, and an archive of all digital and print information collected during the duration of the program. “I was delighted to be asked… [I] learn more from talk- More information ing to other kinds of scholars and, indeed, artists and thinkers on “Walking from beyond the walls of academia. I am hoping that the as Knowing meeting will bring me out of my disciplinary shell and chal- as Making” is lenge me to see walking from new angles,” said Professor Tim available at its Cresswell, a participant in the fourth session and teacher at Web site: http://www.walki the Institute of Geography and Earth Sciences in Wales. Fellow scholar David Rothenberg agrees, “I’m looking nginplace.org/co forward to sharing the stage with my friend Dave Abram and nverge/index.htm meeting Jack Turner, whose work I have admired for years.” Rothenberg, a philosopher and musician, recently wrote a book and made a CD about his travels playing music with birds. Professor Mike Pearson, an archaeologist and actor participating in session four, said,“I hope the project will enhance and increase understanding of the potential of walking in art practice and in performance theory by involving practitioners and academics from a range of fields … I decided to get involved because of the innovative nature of the project and the opportunity it offers to examine walking from a range of conceptual, theoretical and practical perspectives and disciplinary stances and thus increase knowledge within the emergent field of performance studies.” For Chris Taylor, architect and co-director of Land Arts of the American West, the project’s interest and importance “lies in the fact of moving out into the landscape, of looking outside of oneself and beginning to make connections between people and the world around.Venturing out into the world is an essential thought experiment requiring intellectual risk that allows an outcome to be determined by forces beyond ones control.” Taylor will be featured in the third session. The first session was Feb. 24 and 25.The next session takes place on March 10 and 11.The main guest is Trevor Paglen, an artist, writer and geographer from the University of California-Berkeley. The third will be April 7-8, the fourth April 28-29, and the fifth is still to be announced but will feature Gary Snyder, a Pulitzer Prize-winning poet. “We hope people will learn of efforts parallel to their own in other fields, of opportunities for living more intentionally in their relationship to place and society.We hope people will feel free to contribute to our process, and of course we hope people will walk!” said Hamilton. buzz

LOGAN MOORE • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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Menomena will be appearing at an early show (8pm) Saturday, at the Highdive in downtown Champaign. The show has an $8 cover, and also features openers Pit er Pat.

Performing arts march in like a lion at Krannert JEFF NELSON

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STAFF WRITER

his March at Urbana’s Krannert Center music is the word, but before we look at the amazing musical treats is store, let’s look at some theater. Barbara Field’s stage adaptation of Dicken’s Great Expectations will continue on weekends at the Colwell Playhouse Theater through Sunday, March 6. As the month ends, Jose Rivera’s Marisol

will begin its two-week run at the Studio Theater. This tough look at contemporary Puerto Rican culture as it struggles with New York City is both powerful and funny. Marisol will continue in the Studio through April 10. Opera combines the worlds of drama and music, and while many modern American musicals have grown into the opera category, like Candide, there is still a taste for that traditional European grand opera. On March

9 and 10, the Opera Verdi Europa company will perform at the Tryon Festival Theatre: Carmen on March 9 and Aida on March 10. If you think you might have an appetite for grand opera, opera doesn’t get much grander than these works and this fine opera company. March is an embarrassment of riches for classical music concert goers. But, try a crossover wind ensemble called Imani Winds on March 6. These five musicians of color blend the colorful traditions of European, African and

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African-American sounds into a wind quintet that sound like nothing you have ever heard. Even the Champaign-Urbana Symphony is getting into the crossover trend. Its March 13 concert features pianist Rich Ridenour, who will team up with conductor Steve Larsen to offer Krannert audiences a tour of big band music with a touch of humor.

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he idea of a band using a computer program to help arrange their songs may strike many “rockists” and those desperately clinging to traditional songwriting as a little slice of impersonal, easily dismissed gimmickry. Portland, Oregon’s Menomena, Justin Harris on bass, Brent Knopf on keyboards and vocals and Danny Seim on drums, needn’t involve themselves in any inane pissing contests with aging nostalgiamongers, though. The sounds emanating from their accomplished debut, I Am The Fun Blame Monster, speak for themselves and should swiftly silence all those dullards who would question the band’s veracity. Menomena is a band whose unique ideas about music have birthed an album that defies easy categorization. Simple, haunting piano lines snake around complex rhythms. Ethereal harmonies are drug back to earth by fluid, ominous bass and unremitting, rock-steady drums, only for both to be shattered by a ragged guitar line or a violent burst of noise. Songs abruptly start and stop, always threatening to fall apart or fade away. In lieu of verses and choruses, elements are unpredictably cycled in and out of the mix. The simplest of musical elements are built up into adrenalized crescendos. It’s a type of music that draws on subtle elements of hiphop, electronica and of course rock ‘n’ roll, but in all reality, the darkly sinuous nature of Menomena’s music is without precedent. “It all happened in the fall of 2000,” relates bassist Harris,“Danny and I were in a band before this one for five years. Brent had seen that band play four years prior and Danny and he became friends. He (Brent) went to college and kept in touch. He was graduating in 2000 and coming back home to live.” And so was the genesis of Menomena. The band formed around a very interesting concept, though.A major component of their writing process is a simple computer program, written by Knopf, known as Deeler. “The first time I heard of Deeler was about two years before the band formed. Brent was writing a program ... more or less trying to make it for a live application so that you could pull off a oneman band live,” says Harris, “All it is, is a program that has 10 tracks of recording that interface with whatever program you’re

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using to record.”These 10 tracks each contain five files in which to store; sounds, the tempo, phrase length, etc. can be changed. This sets off a click track that records automatically and by itself, beginning on the downbeat of whatever is next played into the track.The effect is that of a song looping itself spontaneously,“You end up with a big conglomeration of parts that sort of all fit together,” describes Harris. All of this tedious methodology wouldn’t amount to much more than sound and fury and monotony if it weren’t for the human element of the band that allows them to sculpt the raw material of a Deeler session into the luminous hypnotism of a Menomena composition. “We take it to Pro-Tools and somebody arranges it,” explains Harris, “...Whoever does the mixing, it sort of takes on the character of that person’s aesthetic.” Whether it is the result of man or machine, one of the most striking things on first listen is the band’s taut, insistent rhythms. Harris states, “When we’re using Deeler each song usually starts with a drum beat, so everything is sort of written around a different beat.” The liquid bass guitar and multifarious drum work simultaneously drives along and grounds the eerie melodies and wraithlike piano and organ figures. “Brent adds a lot of the melody; Danny and I are more rhythm-based,” says Harris. The low end allows for a certain complexity of structure and approach, where the most austere of melodic sequences can fade out into a void just as easily as they can expand into a song’s white-knuckle climax. “It’s the nature of the beast,” claims Harris, “It’s what comes out of making loops, trying to make something out of nothing. In a Deeler session there’s not a lot of change. You do end up with a lot of pieces that are sort of similar, and it does get a little tricky to make that tension work.” Menomena songs eschew verses or choruses, instead expanding and retracting in an organic fashion, discarding or expanding musical ideas seemingly arbitrarily.“Well using these little sound files, one session can last for twenty minutes, trying to build a song out of short loops forces you to do something interesting; otherwise, it can get boring,” comments Harris. Possibly the most impressive aspect of the Menomena is that a band with such a singular course of action in the studio translates it all to the live arena.“Once one of us

arranges it then we have to learn how to play it live or pick and choose which parts best represent the character of the song,” states Harris. He goes on to say that,“I personally prefer playing live; I enjoy playing live; the energy is different ... Us in the studio isn’t what a typical band in the studio sounds like; we all have certain ideas, different ideas for the same thing.We all feel a little more relaxed and able to break out of some of the restrictions of the studio.”This enthusiasm comes through on stage as well. Menomena are somewhat renowned for an energetic live performance far removed from the subdued intensity of the album. “It’s more up-tempo, quite a bit faster,” states Harris, “we don’t try to mimic the album, but we’re not like a jam band, beating a part to death for five minutes.” So after self-releasing their debut in 2003, and releasing it nationally via FILMguerrero in 2004 after much welldeserved hubbub from the underground, the obvious question is when are Menomena fans going to hear more Menomena? “This last album took us the

good part of a year. A lot of those songs took a long time to develop.” Still, rumor has it that a few new songs have popped up during their last tour. As far as the process of developing them goes, Harris says, “We end up using a lot of elements, past Deeler sessions, we have tons of them, just tons and tons of files. The great part is you can go back a few weeks later, and they’ll sound completely different, you’ll hear something you didn’t hear before.” Everything about Menomena, from their non-linear methods of songwriting right down to the cover of their album, which is in fact a peculiarly humorous flipbook of the band playing their instruments, challenges many of the ingrained, macho assumptions about rock music. One feels that even without Deeler or any other embellishments, Menomena would still be crafting their idiosyncrasies into music. As Harris observes, “We’re all very interested in, and sort of sticklers for, aesthetics in general. Why make something mediocre? We just get ideas and/or wild hairs and just try to implement them as best we can.” buzz

PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.MENOMENA.COM

EMILY COTTERMAN • STAFF WRITER

THEY ARE THE FUN BLAME MONSTERS

Bass player Justin Harris tunes his bass guitar at a rehearsal.

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IT WAS RECENTLY DISCOVERED THAT RESEARCH CAUSES CANCER IN LAB RATS.

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Kyle Forneris is a senior in painting at the University of Illinois. A lover of classic rock and fantasy literature, his current passion in painting is suggestive landscape. His work explores the uncanny and unreality of the physical spaces he depicts, striving for depth and tension between painting styles and varying locations of detail. His results are somewhat impressionistic, but extremely immersing. To take a look for yourself, check out his upcoming showings from March 28-April 8 in the Link Gallery between the Krannert Art Museum and Design Building and then again May 12-28 in the Krannert Art Museum. What interests you most about suggestive landscapes?

That is something that I have struggled with in previous works. I think my solution is to not be so literal in the relationship. Not that it couldn’t be done, but in this work, I don’t make direct references to any specific fantasy element. In some of my old work I was depicting scenes from Grimms’ fairy tales, but I needed a way to make it more than just a recreation or an interpretation. Now I think I am in a very good mind set, and I feel good about my work. I’m kind of making my own setting for a different kind of fantasy. The paintings have all the potential to hold narrative aspects, but they don’t necessarily do that. It’s kind of like I supply the setting, the mood and the theme, and the viewer fills in the rest. As I said before, I try not to directly reference

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How do you walk the line between art and cliche when you pick up on influences from literary and cinematic fantasy realms? What part do they play in defining how your work is going to look?

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Landscapes in general are definitely nothing new in the realm of painting. I like the potential and flexibility they have for holding content, and I enjoy the familiarity that makes it easy for viewers to enter and see it as a real space, even if it is completely fabricated. As for the suggestive part, my paintings do have a seductive and sexual quality. However I do not feel that aspect rules the entire concept of the piece. I like to think I imply rather than say. Not to sound like I don’t take responsibility for where the painting can go because I am fully aware of the possibilities, but I am not opposed to the idea of giving someone a starting point and letting him or her finish it.

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any of the fantasy elements that influence me. So I don’t think that the look of my paintings reflects anything specific. Also, fantasy isn’t all that my work is about, so that helps. I guess I more try to emulate the feeling of experiencing something that isn’t real in a real way. In other words, I like the how something a little unreal can relate to something more tangible. What do you hope your art communicates to the viewer?

I suppose the one thing you hope for is that your work makes the viewer want to think about it.You don’t want the work to be so complex that it’s inaccessible, and you don’t want to have something so straightforward that it doesn’t warrant further contemplation. Aside from that and getting a bit more detailed, I hope this particular work allows people to enter the space or get sucked in. I would like them to notice the seductive and sexual aspects of it and the different uses of beauty. Also, I would like my work to evoke a kind of physical, as well as mental, relationship with the viewer. I want them to think of how my work would affect the other senses, not just sight. Why does painting interest you so much as a medium?

I like the physicality of the paint. Even thought you are making a 2D image, the paint gives a depth and a presence by way of texture and surface, that is more difficult to achieve with some other materials. It is a much different experience to see a painting in person rather than just the image on a computer or in a book. Granted I do enjoy working with other materials, but there is just something about painting that just seems to fit, whether it be my tendencies towards the romantic or just a simple preference. What would your dream project look like given whatever resources you needed?

Wow, my dream project.That’s hard to imagine. I usually don’t think singular so much as to aspire to one large event. I enjoy making the work I do now, and I look forward to making more. I guess right now I

dream more about getting work after school and continuing my practice. One of the things I would like to do is to make a complete environment installation, but I think that is more of a curiosity of what my work would do in a 3D environment. And as for jobs, I don’t know if I see myself as that much of an artist in the traditional Painter Kyle Forneris strategically plans his next brush stroke. sense. I would like to see what it would be like in a field like conceptual design, making characters and settings for video games, movies, etc. Along those same lines, I would be interested in illustration. To be realistic though, in those fields I would most likely lose some of my freedoms to create whatever I want. Where do find inspiration when you find yourself hard up?

Mostly I sit and think. Sometimes I will get out a pencil and doodle my way to a conclusion. Sometimes it just helps to start the painting, not knowing where you will end up. I also talk to my classmates and teachers, which is very helpful. It’s always a good idea to bring in someone with a new thought process and an unbiased view.

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Come April 2, the C-U Symphony will offer more traditional classical fare with the Liszt piano concerto number two, but listen for the premiere of a new work by Jennifer Higdon on that same program. More traditionally,the Sinfonia da Camera and conductor Ian Hobson will offer an all Mozart concert on March 5, and the world famous Prague Symphony visits the Krannert Center on March 8. Veteran conductor Serge Baudo will give us two works very much attached to the Czech Republic, Dvorak’s sixth Symphony and Mozart’s “Prague� Symphony, number 38. American pianist, Navah Perlman will team up with the Prague Symphony for a performance of the second piano concerto of Chopin. If your musical tastes still have not been met, check out the Afro-Latin Jazz Orchestra on April 5 or Herbie Hancock with Directions in Music on March 5. For those who want to go beyond jazz and classical, Israeli singer Chava Alberstein will present on March 13 an extraordinary evening of contemporary song. For dance fans, the month has with some high spots. SITI Company will be here on March 17 with their multi-media show.On April 1 and 2,the Mark Morris Dance Group visits Krannert for two nights that cap a month filled with wonders that work very well around spring break.

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PHOTOS • DAVID SOLANA

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Scenes of passion written in stone photography exhibit exploring the relationships between land and architecture, will open on March 14 at the Temple Buell Hall Architecture Gallery. Created by architect and University professor James Warfield, who was named 2002 ACSA Distinguished Professor of Architecture, the exhibit opened last spring at Ispace in Chicago. Warfield sought out the pictures he used in a personal quest:“I consider myself a collector of experiences and visual images.This means going to where the images are,” he states. And he hasn’t stopped: currently he is in the middle of California’s Baja Desert, no phone lines nearby until March 2 when he’ll travel to Mexico. Stone Poems displays 40 black and white images from a field research collection of 150,000. Warfield took the pictures from around the world starting in 1963. “I enjoy the visual!” Warfield proclaims simply and foremost in an explanation of his photography. As this statement and the numbers suggest, the result—the exhibit—is a striking tour of architecture celebrating art that forms when culture and nature are thrown together by necessity (houses on an Italian hillside)—or vanity and religion (the pyramids of Giza, Egypt). And from a man who

Rousanou, Meteora, Greece

some searching. While Warfield relies on books like Paul Oliver’s Dwellings, he doesn’t scoff at the helpfulness of an ordinary Frommer’s travel guide book or an issue of National Geographic. The most surprising source this University professor uses? “I stay late in the theaters for credits to see where glorious movies are filmed,” Warfield writes. Stone Poems, inspired by a passion for studying forms of architecture and its reciprocal relationship with nature, still cannot escape the practical aspects of its particular art—that of photography, of specific film and cameras, lighting and most importantly for the exhibit, the process of developing. Warfield doesn’t pretend that he can escape from or ignore the issue of money either. The cost of film, in younger years, kept Warfield from shooting the full potential of a site. But grown wiser, he writes with the conviction of his experience and a hint of advice: “I shoot with abandon... A shot not taken can never be recouped.” Warfield writes that he has trusted a Canon EOS 35mm since 1988, and “it has been my delight to ignore lighting conditions and shoot regardless of rain or clouds or fog,” which must present more problems shooting the “Stone House Ruins, Kilkenny, Ireland” than the “Mayan Temple of the Sun, Palenque,Chiapas, Mexico.” “In Stone Poems, my intentions in the printed exhibit have been best served by

T i m o t h y Twedt, owner of T. Kelly Jewelers, an upscale jewelry store in downtown Champaign, specializes in diamonds. As the only local member of the Independent Jewelers Organization, a worldwide organization of jewelry buyers, Twedt travels to Belgium twice a year to hand-select the diamonds he sells. T. Kelly Jewelers also sells many original designs. How did you get started in the jewelry business?

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It’s actually a long story. I was working on the construction of nuclear power plants and got into the business of coinbuying and selling. When the coins weren’t selling, I decided to buy some chains and sell them as bezels, but those didn’t sell either.The chains I bought sold, and I started selling gold chains and bracelets on the side. In 1985, I rented my first space—108 square feet.Then I started

going to school for gemstones and diamonds. I h ave made several moves since then and with each move it’s a step up. In 2002, I was invited to join the Independent Jewelers Organization, which is a group of independent jewelers committed to buying better. Now, I am able go to Belgium twice a year to buy diamonds.

things; we do a lot of our designs. I have designers from all over the world.

How would Jewelers?

What are some of our other interests?

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Kelly

It’s an upscale jewelry store. It’s a family-owned business, a mom and pop operation. It’s named after my daughter Kelly. We are in our 20th year. We are honest, and our clients are very loyal. We are full-service, from watch batteries to flawless diamonds. What do you specialize in?

Diamonds are really our niche. We handle ideal-cut diamonds. It’s like art.We don’t sell paint by numbers; we sell Rembrandts. We also try to do unique

What is your most popular item?

I would say it’s the three-diamond, ideal-cut ring. My daughter calls it the “hot ring” because it’s so fiery. The cut makes it fiery. It’s a simple, simple ring but has a brilliant cut. We also have sold a lot of the hot pink sapphire. I just got back from a trade show so we will have a lot of new, unique things for the spring. Dogs. I am big dog lover; I have four. I really love animals. What’s your favorite place in ChampaignUrbana?

I would say the downtown area. It’s a really nice area. I have a great location. What is your favorite part of being in the jewelry business?

The people. I am sure not in it for the money. I love meeting people. I can say that in 20 years of business, I have never had a bad experience with a customer.

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converting the color originals to black and white. My goal has been to explore the integral relationship achieved between architecture and nature, where I have found that texture is important, color a distraction,” Warfield writes.

PHOTO • SARAH KROHN

Stone Poems: Architecture and the Land, a

has documented living environments of indigenous peoples from Bolivia to Africa to Tibet and beyond, trust these pictures to offer the extreme in cultural, historical, and natural significance. The exhibit’s noblest goal seems to be creating connectivity between the distinctive images. Boasting pictures of “Lost City of the Incas, Machu Picchu, Peru” and still “Prairie Farmstead, Illinois, USA,” Stone Poems relies on a belief that “from the inevitable act of destroying nature, nearly every culture develops artists and poets and architects who seek to build on the land and re-establish a harmony with nature.” The exhibit has a theoretical point and seeks to challenge “process and product” from today’s design professionals, but Warfield’s sheer enthusiasm and joy in the “visual” ultimately seem to steer the project. “I cannot deny the passion that I have for the specific images I select to share,” he says. These must be chosen carefully because just finding out about architectural feats takes

PHOTOS COURTESY OF JAMES WARFIELD

MAUREEN GOMBAS • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

“We’re not talking processed cookies.

homemade, warm, fresh, buttery and soft.”

They’re - Maria Ayala

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THINGS THAT GO MUNCH IN THE NIGHT Open Monday through Thursday 8 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. and Friday through Sunday 8 p.m. to 3 a.m., Insomnia Cookies is now offering free delivery service. Combinations of cookies and brownies, ice cream and beverages such as milk can be here were college women jumping up and down and ordered by phone or online.The perfect late-night snack will smiling like small children in a toy store. They acted as now come right to your doorstep.With six different kinds of though one of their dreams had materialized—and for some, cookies and six different kinds of brownies to choose from, as it had. Insomnia Cookies, located at 502 E. John St. in well as Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, Insomnia Cookies offers a Campustown, is now delivering cookies, brownies and ice new late-night alternative to pizza. “They’re good. They’re really good. We’re talking not cream late into the night. “I thought it was the smartest concept I’ve ever heard processed cookies. They’re homemade, warm, fresh, buttery and soft,” Knussman said. of,” said Anna Knussman, sophomore in ACES. The Champaign location became one of five stores. Taking up a small storefront in Johnstown Center, the overwhelming scent of freshly-baked cookies fills the business. Started by Seth Berkowitz at the University of Pennsylvania in the fall of 2002, the concept offered warm treats with timely delivery to students. It began with the simple baking of cookies for friends and has since expanded. The summer of 2003 brought the addition of Jared Barnett, and Insomnia Cookies began to spread. It now distributes cookies nationwide to corporate and consumer clients. Its menu has also expanded to accommodate 24 varieties of treats. Thus far, Insomnia Cookies has been well received, said manager Lindsay Gall. A 2004 graduate of the University of Illinois, Gall was eager to take charge of the Champaign location. “This is what I’ve always wanted. I went to business school to run a bakery,” said Gall. At first expecting a bar crowd for business, Gall was surprised to find that most customers have been students studying late at night and in need of a little sugar fix to keep them going. “Sometimes you just crave sweets, and Insomnia is really good,” said Maria Ayala, sophomore at Parkland College. Insomnia Cookies also offers some specialty items. An assortment is available, including items for birthdays, good luck wishes or get-well gift boxes. Special values and coupons can also be found while ordering online. In addition to Insomnia Cookies, two other restaurants will be moving into Johnstown Center. Just a few doors down, Sark’s Cafe has a tentative plan to open this week. Owner Matt Slevin is hoping to draw a range of people. He welcomes anyone who makes their way onto campus to come in and experience Baker Sid Meanor presses out dough patties for baking Tuesday night at Insomnia Cookies. his restaurant. Open 24 hours a day and seven

food

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Pizza—is there a more perfect food? It’s almost

endlessly customizable, with toppings limited only by your imagination and your choice of any of a number of crusts: Chicago deep-dish, New York thin, bready Sicilian, wood-fired or baked. It can be fancy schmancy, with truffle oil and wild mushrooms or your basic pepperoni delivered to your door. It’s a party food, a convenience food and perhaps the one food item I know of that everyone likes. It’s also a regional food. Coming here from western New York, I felt sure I’d miss the pizzas back home, where the specialty is a Sicilian crust that is chewy and dense. Most people there order them plain or with pepperoni, allowing the slightly sweet sauce, the perfect amount of Mozzarella and the crust to do the talking.And of course, it’s never pizza night without a side order of Buffalo wings, spicy and deep-fried.“Where would I find this slice of home here?” I wondered.“And just what does a Midwestern pizza taste like?” I’m happy to report that while I still miss the piz-

ANGELA LOIACONO • STAFF WRITER

PHOTOS• DAVID SOLANA

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Baker Laura Prunsik reads an order as she fills a box of cookies for delivery Monday night at Insomnia Cookies, 502 E John St., Champaign. days a week, Sark’s Cafe will also deliver. Carrying the theme of a Bohemian, ethnic breakfast diner, Sark’s is continuing a concept that has been successful in Chicago for over 40 years, Slevin said.The restaurant will serve eggs to order, omelettes and speciality sandwiches called Lorretas.They will also offer hamburgers, grilled cheese and various side dishes. Sark’s will not use any fryers, only flat grills. “If there is such a thing, we have healthy grease,” Slevin said. And although there is still newsprint covering the windows, a restaurant called Junior’s will be the third food business moving onto John Street. With a tentative opening planned for the latter half of April, Junior’s will garner a sincere University of Illinois atmosphere geared to the students, said father and son owners Rick and Richard Minick. With boards and tools scattered about the area, the two will be working hard to get this restaurant ready for opening. Junior’s plans to be open Monday through Thursday 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. and Friday through Sunday 11 a.m. to 2 a.m.They hope to draw the bar crowd on the weekends. “We’ll have the best burger Champaign has ever seen,” Rick said. Menu items will include hamburgers, milkshakes and french fries. buzz

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Z is for Za ‘

zas back home, I’ve found new favorites. Jupiter’s (39 Main St., Champaign) is great for beer, ’za and pool.The pizzas there are thin, crispy and fabulous. I’m a big fan of the barbecue chicken (nice and spicy when you add sliced jalapenos) and the pizza Margherita. I also like the pizzas at The Bread Company (706 S. Goodwin Ave., Urbana), which are similarly thin and crispy, with tasty and creative toppings. Order a glass of Chianti or get a pint of whatever’s good on tap, and you’re in good shape. Next door at Timpone’s, you can feast on spicy shrimp, spinach or mushroom pizzas. Also in Urbana, Milo’s (Lincoln Square Mall) has its own twist on this venerable dish: the upside-down pizza. This pizza comes out of the kitchen with the crust baked on top of a shallow dish, with all of the “toppings” inside.The server flips the plate and you get a kind of deep-dish pizza, with all of the goodies inside the crust.The rosemary chicken with potatoes combines a few of my favorites things in one dish. New to the pizza scene is Esquire Lounge (106

Dave Barry

N. Walnut St., Champaign), my old standby for burgers and fries. With the addition of a new bar/pool/seating area have come additions to the menu as well. I hate to say I haven’t tried the pizzas here, but the buzz is good and the offerings are tempting. One item in particular caught my eye: pear and bleu cheese. I bet it’s amazing. Of course, I can’t not mention Papa Del’s (206 E. Green St., Champaign). My husband loves this pizza, and that sentiment seems to be shared by pizza lovers far and wide (just do a Google search for Papa Del’s and you’ll see what I mean).This is a deep-dish pizza, baked in a cast-iron pan, loaded up with sauce, cheese and toppings. The thick crust and sauce set this pizza apart. Of course, my favorite pizza is my own (no false modesty here). I love making Margherita pizzas at home.We make the dough from scratch, sometimes adding crushed oregano and garlic to the crust.Add sliced heirloom tomatoes, fresh Mozzarella di bufala and basil for a delicious pizza at home. By the way,

Local Music. Local Talent. Local Achievements... Vote March 3rd - March 28th for your favorites like: Best Rock Group Best Americana/Roots Group Best Hip-Hop/Funk Group 2004 Album of the Year Best Live Performance Best Band (overall) Best Male Artist Best Female Artist Best DJ Paris Hilton Award (hottest)

www.cumusicawards.com

April 7th, 2005 at The Highdive

Get the scoop on the nominees on pg. 10 of today’s Buzz and hear the music in a special preview on WPGU this Friday from 8-10pm.

Because the music is all that matters.

AMANDA KOLLING • CONTRIBUTING COLUMNIST

try adding a little olive oil to your hands when working with the dough to prevent sticking. Recipes will often tell you to use flour, but this is the way my grandmother did it, and it works.Also, if you’ve been thinking of buying a pizza stone, don’t waste your money at a department store. Instead, head to your local home improvement store, and buy an unglazed quarry tile (or several). Just make sure it’s unglazed, and get one that’s big enough for a medium to large pizza. Also, remember to wash it before first use and to preheat it (for at least half an hour) for the best results. If you feel ambitious, you also could try grilling your pizzas or using a pizza screen (about $5 online). I also recommend buying a good, large pizza cutter. It makes it so much easier to serve up a slice. Mangiare bene! Za zat’s all, folks! Amanda Kolling is heading east for new eats, but you can still e-mail her at amandakolling@readbuzz.com.


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the local sniff “It's true what they say:

Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano: sure it'll clean you out,

FUNNY WORD OF THURSDAY: TROUSERS.

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Appropriate masturbation

Try baking brownies for students instead of the UI President

How to write a kick ass column, or at least a funny one

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but it'll leave you hollow inside.” SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

The Naked Gun

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MATT PAIS • LEAD REVIEWER

O

For some reason, it took three writers to put together this nonsense.

nly a true pessimist could have predicted t h a t , 1 2 ye a r s a f t e r accepting an Oscar for his work in The Fugitive, Tommy Lee Jones would be sticking his hand up the south end of a cow in the lowbrow fish-out-of-water comedy Man of the House. No, it’s not a remake of the Jonathan Taylor Thomas film of the same name. Jones stars as Roland Sharp, a Texas cop with the all-business, no-nonsense demeanor that Jones hardly ever abandons. After a group of University of Texas cheerleaders witnesses a murder, Sharp takes them under his constant surveillance and out of the path of Eddie Zane (Brian Van Holt), an old friend of Sharp’s and FBI agent who has gone bad for no discernable reason. Because it’s a comedy set in Texas, Man of the House has lots of slow-witted Southern hospitality, brutish bar fighting and down-home gospel singing. Because it’s a movie about college kids, it’s got plenty of compulsive socializing, academic ignorance and reckless, drunken behavior. And because it’s built on the premise of a muttering, humorless tough guy slowly opening up with the help of five bubbly beauties, Jones must maintain a straight face as Sharp buys tampons, complains about

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Kevin Fenny Monticello, Ill.

“Not that funny.”

REVOLUTION STUDIOS

MAN OF THE HOUSE

exposed thighs and midriffs, endures a facial and a manicure, and splats on his back in an attempt to roller skate. The girls, played by Christina Milian as the leader, Monica Keena as the smart one, Kelli Garner as the airhead who falls for Sharp, Vanessa Ferlito as the tough one, and Paula Garces as the sex-crazed one, appear to have been loosely modeled after the Spice Girls. They’re vapid enough to discuss the “hottie rating” of convicted felons yet apparently intelligent enough to thrive at the University of Texas. And they’re girly enough to scamper and squeal in fear when they witness a murder but composed enough to barely react as they narrowly escape an exploding van meant to silence MAN OF THE HOUSE • TOMMY LEE JONES their cheers forever. For some reason, it took three writers to put together this nonsense, and est, a UT professor played by a mature, dignot one succeeded in making it funny. It’s nified Anne Archer, that never gets out of not a good sign when a movie thinks its the basement. But most disconcerting is the older most hilarious sequence is a dance-off between the girls and an overweight, ex- men’s attraction to the young ladies that is con preacher (Cedric the Entertainer).The concealed but hinted at in a wink-wink, script also ignores the fact that none of the nudge-nudge way that suggests that being bad guys know who the witnesses are, and cooped up with five busty babes is a male the cheerleaders don’t really try to ID the fantasy no matter how old you are.The girls shooter, so the entire protection program is are sexualized and continually ogled, and it’s a testament to Jones’ cool, protective essentially moot. Director Stephen Herek keeps things persona that he emerges as a father figure, bright and spunky for the most part, but not just some creepy old man with pom Man of the House needs to get its foundation pons for morals. The most unique thing about Man of the checked. It incorporates an all-too-familiar backdrop of a father estranged from his House is that it’s the rare movie that manfamily because of work, as Sharp struggles ages to be insulting to women, college stuto reconnect to his 17-year-old daughter dents and cheerleaders. Give me a J! Give Emma (Shannon Marie Woodward).There’s me a U! Give me an N! Give me a K! What also an attempt to give Sharp a love inter- does that spell?

Man of the House

Sky Astrosky Paris, Ill.

“It was funny, and I liked it.”

Bret Rhodes Monticello, Ill.

“I wouldn't recommend it.”

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Loos enDs MOVIE NEWS BY JOHN LOOS

Rising from the ashes of Catwoman like a majestic phoenix people stopped caring about 10 years ago, Sharon Stone has revealed that in her upcoming film Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction, her character will have a lesbian love interest. When asked if her ar t imitates her life, Stone coyly replied, “Why not? Middle age is an open-minded period.” It should be clarified that Ms. Stone was not speaking about the Middle Ages, which are still considered a closeminded period full of disease and rampant stupidity. Quentin Tarantino is filling his plate with new directorial projects. Along with directing the season finale of CSI: Crime Scene Investigators, the Kill Bill director also recently finished shooting Lisa Marie Presley’s video for her new single “Dir ty Laundr y.” Tarantino was said to have been “star struck” when he first met Presley several years ago. Not to take anything away from Presley, but I hear Tarantino felt the same when he first met that AfricanAmerican lady from Night Court. As you all know, the Oscars took place on Sunday evening. My deadline for this column was before the ceremony even began, so I’m writing this without having seen the broadcast, but that won’t stop me from commenting on it. Wasn’t it the most boring/exciting/cleavagefilled Oscars you’ve ever seen? How about that Chris Rock? Wasn’t he just hilarious/awful/(un)incendiar y? I swear, when so-and-so won and then his/her speech went on forever, and the music/sniper/rabid bear cut him/her of f, I was SO pissed/relieved. Oh Oscars, I love/loathe/am entirely indifferent to you.

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orry if I fooled any of you the last couple of weeks. At the celebration of Laurel Prussing’s victory, I started to feel a little guilty. A little bit out of touch. As a result, I decided to go to the Urbana City Council meeting on Monday night. In general, I really don’t know that much about due process or affidavits or even what the city clerk does. So I figured if I was going to spout off about Urbana in the press, I may as well become more familiar with the city government and how it handles the community at large. And while I was intrigued by the idea of learning more about the local government, one thing more than any forced me to go that particular night: WUNA. That stands for West Urbana Neighborhood Association, in case you were wondering. They were presenting their case to the council that night about a law that disallows more Seth Fein is from than four unrelated peoUrbana. He is certain ple to share a residence in that at some point, Urbana. I went with the someone was watchintention of listening. ing him do his “Naked Dick Vitale” routine Naturally, within minthrough his bedroom utes, I had to share my window. Kinda turned thoughts and feelings him on. He can about it too. be reached at: WUNA’s mission, sethfein@hotmail.com according to their Web site, is “to preserve the residential integrity of the neighborhood, while continuing to welcome a diverse mix of residents to its lovely, quiet, tree-lined streets. WUNA seeks to maintain and enhance the neighborhood’s friendly, attractive and safe environment that is within walking distance of downtown, campus and excellent schools.” Sounds pretty fair and inclusive, right? Wrong. To me, it’s nothing but an elitist, conformist clique that has a vendetta against the student population living in their neighborhood. That’s right my friends. The members of WUNA have had enough of us renters, and they want our asses outta there faster than we can say, “Lincoln Square.” And to make matters worse, some of the members of WUNA have taken some pretty shifty tactics to enforce this law. Now, I am not saying that every member of WUNA is a nutter butter. But, without a shred of doubt in my mind, there are certain members of this organization that are starting to creep people out. Me included. They have been spotted prowling the streets. On the front steps of student’s houss o u n d s

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es, taking pictures of mailboxes with more than four people listed on it (go to www.urbanarepublic.info - check it out for yourself).And, most disturbing of all, in people’s lawns, snooping into the windows of houses, trying to count how many people were living in the house at a certain time. I have a message for all you WUNA snoopers out there, from me and from my friends who caught you: Get a flippin’ life. Do you realize that, even in this town, there are parents struggling to get food on the table for their children? That segregation exists on a widespread scale in Urbana? That there are retired men and women with no family left to care for them that would love to spend an afternoon with one of you, just talking about days past? Do you realize how insignificant your little group is? Obviously not, as you were the ones at the city council meeting on Monday, spouting off about the “integrity of the neighborhood” and your “right to a safe place to live”. There are real problems in our city, actual hardships—and this is what you all care about? Look. I am not trying to be a bad guy here, but for real—you need to reconsider the priorities in your lives. I realize that this is your neighborhood and that you have a right to help set the standard, but give me a break! It seems as though you might have taken this a little too far. If you want to help enforce the law, leave the renters out of it and go straight to the landlords and the city. Do you want me snooping in your windows? Of course not. I have a big nose and the tendency to scare off little children because I laugh like a chipmunk. At least, that’s what my girlfriend says. In your defense though, some of your ideals are perfectly reasonable. I fully agree with your belief in neighborhood preservation. You contend that some of the landlords are negligent of their rental properties and that because some of us tenants aren’t actual residents, we are more accustomed to letting our places go to shit, rather than maintaining and beautifying them. And you are right.The students living in west Urbana should be more respectful of the homes they live in. After all, we are guests here and we should treat the homes the way we would treat our own. Moreover, the landlords who own them should be held far more accountable for maintaining the appearance of the houses and apartments. But overall, it’s not us with the problem. It’s you. Take your energy and put it in to something worthwhile. Something that could actually make a difference in someone’s life aside from your own. Trust me, you’ll feel a whole lot better about yourself.

MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Just for fun this week, I

thought I would give you some insight into the thoughts that go into a well-thought-out, awardwinning and highly respected column. I quickly scraped this plan as I have no association with a column such as this. I instead opted to give you some of the background that goes into the smart-assed, opinionated, 800 or so words that I write each week. Initially, I was going to focus on this smoke free group that’s started in Champaign-Urbana. I mean, it seemed like a fine idea. I find it best to write when I’m sort of pissed off about something and that sort of thing pisses me off to no end. Maybe it’s because I listened to an excessive amount of Clash songs when I was younger, but I really hate it when some whiny little folks try to tell me what to do. They have little meetings and make their little comments in the paper and on the television, self-righteous enough to believe that their views of life should be forced on everyone else because this group believes it knows better than you. Okay, well, as a columnist, you have to look at the above paragraph. Okay, I called this group self-righteous, and let’s face it, calling someone else self-righteous sort of makes you the same thing. If this were an actual excerpt from a column, I would probably have to put a sentence in there about how I admit I’m probably a tad bit self-righteous, but that I simply offer an opinion and leave it at that. I certainly don’t go around trying to force these opinions on everyone else, particularly by passing some fascist law. Still, even as I type such a thing, I feel almost sure I heard it somewhere else. It’s fine to steal, but it’s best not to make it obvious. I went back and found a column on smoking I wrote a few years ago, and I see what I was thinking. I ended it with a quote. I’ll put that next so you see what I mean. “Smoking is, as far as I’m concerned, the entire point of being an adult. Many people find smoking objectionable. I myself find many—even more—things objectionable. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs.” Fran Lebowitz. Okay, that’s a pretty funny quote, so if this were an actual column, I would likely put that in there, or at least reword it so it seemed like something I thought of on my own.

At this point, a good columnist always checks his word count. Afterall, it’s not the content, so much as the amount of words. Um, we’re at 476 already. Man, I got a lot left to say, and it’s already halfway done. Now at this juncture, it’s best to stop and have a cigarette and maybe even a glass of Scotch. It’s a good time to reflect and see if your piece is heading the way you intended. Feel free to rub your dog on the head as you stare vacantly at the computer screen immersed in thought. If you don’t have a dog, masturbation is totally appropriate. In fact, I Michael Coulter often enjoy a combination is a videographof both. er, comedian Anyways, after reflection, and can be I’ve discovered that I heard on WPGU haven’t even called this 107.1 Thursdays smoke free group a bunch at 5 with Ricker of “Nazis” as of yet. See workin’ it. that’s a good word because it really gets people’s ire up. Still, it would probably get cut by an editor. I mean, you can’t just go around calling people “Nazis”. Actually, they’re probably really more totalitarian than anything else. Call them that, though, and no emotions are aroused. It only makes people run for a dictionary. Most columnists would tell you that this might be a good time to make an actual argument against a ban on smoking in public places. Well, good for most columnists, but that sort of thing is easier said than done. I wouldn’t even know where to start. I mean, it just seems wrong on the face of it, I suppose. Smoking isn’t illegal. I couldn’t possibly argue that it’s good for you, but I could probably make a fairly good case that it is quite enjoyable to many people. The other side will likely write a response talking about the dangers of second hand smoke.Well, good for them. Yes, it probably is bad for you, so don’t go to bars where people are smoking. Hey, I have an aversion to people holding my head under water in an attempt to make me more religious. Because of that, I don’t go to Baptist churches. If a bar is too smoky, then go to a bar where smoking isn’t allowed. It’s really that simple, isn’t it? If someone decides they want their establishment to be smoke free, then good for them. I probably won’t go there, but I also won’t go around bitching about it either. With the argument half finished, a good columnist would continue trying to hammer home their point. Since I am not that columnist, I will simply light another cigarette and press send, petting the dog and wondering to myself about the concept of personal freedom.

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nEwS www.canop yclub.com www.canopy Thursday, Mar ch 3 w. Blue Merle & Michael Tolcher

Friday, M arch 4 - 6 p m! w. Further Seems Forever, Days Away & Jamison Parker

Sunday, M arch 6

Thursday, March 17

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M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

oF thE

LEAD STORY — Homaro Cantu (described by one customer as Chicago’s “mad-scientist� gourmet chef) creates his signature dishes with the help of cutting-edge technology, such as fishless sushi made with edible, fish-flavored paper containing designs produced on an inkjet printer. Among the projects planned for his Moto restaurant: baking with a “class IV� laser (the kind used in welding and surgery) that will cook the center but not the outside; using helium and superconductors to make food levitate; and developing edible utensils, tables and chairs. Said Cantu, to a New York Times reporter in February, “Gastronomy has to catch up to the evolution in technology.�

MORE SCENES OF THE SURREAL (1) In January, Felipe Rose, a member of the Village People musical group and who is part Lakota Sioux, said he felt so remorseful at missing the opening last year of the National Museum of the American Indian that he donated his gold record the group received for the 1978 song “Y.M.C.A.,� which is ostensibly about gay men

wEiRd C A N ’ T P O S S I B LY B E T R U E

— In January, the Fox TV network, concerned about an FCC crackdown on “indecency,� voluntarily blurred out the unclothed rear end of a cartoon character on the adult program “Family Guy� (even though the network had run the same image, intact, five years earlier).Also in January, the Design Review Board of Snohomish, Wash., rejected the mural planned for the side of the BBQ Shack restaurant, in part, reported the owner, because its five pink pigs were naked. — In a stroke of luck, the defense case file of Florida death-row inmate Curtis Beasley, 56, turned up after having been virtually abandoned in a commercial storage locker rented by his courtappointed lawyer, Michael Giordano, who had failed to make payments and had become unreach-

able by state officials. If a storage employee hadn’t called the Florida attorney general’s office in December, the records might have been destroyed. The incident was reported in the Tampa Tribune’s January coverage of state Supreme Court justice Raoul Cantero, who characterized the work of some court-appointed death-penalty attorneys as “some of the worst lawyering I’ve seen.� — News of the Weird reported in September on Koko, the gorilla that knows about a thousand words in American Sign Language, and in February, she was back in the news at her home at the Gorilla Foundation in Woodside, Calif.Two of Koko’s female handlers filed a sex discrimination and wrongful discharge lawsuit against the foundation because its president, Francine Patterson, had allegedly pressured them to display their breasts to Koko in order to better “bond� with her. According to the lawsuit, Patterson herself had been bonding with Koko for quite some time and thought Koko needed a little variety. COPYRIGHT 2004 Chuck Shepherd Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate

Saturday, April 2

w. Hello Dave

Tuesday, April 5

Now open for the 22 Season! ND

a Nd G i g g L E s

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An informed and opinionated look at this week’s events

]

COMPILED BY LOGAN MOORE

Friday, April 8

Friday, March 4th

Friday, April 15

Thursday, A pril 2 1

Spring is on the way!

Up to 145,000 consumers could face identity theft, after background checking company Choice Point recently revealed that it might have accidentally sold personal and financial records to fraud artists behind a nationwide ID theft scheme. In fact, the criminals are so skilled that they are writing this edition of “Shits and Giggles� right now. In a recent L.A. times investigative report it was revealed that President Bush’s uncle, William Bush, has made around $450,000 dollars in profits from the Iraq war as a board member of defense contractors Engineered Support Systems. The president apparently refers to the man as “Uncle Bucky,� which should raise some red flags right there. The word most taxpayers are thinking of sort of rhymes with “Bucky.�

Friday, A pril 2 9

John Popper Project featuring members of

Blues Traveler with DJ Logic Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: The Canopy Club, Family Pride, and Bacca Cigar, or call 1-800-514-ETIX. Or print tickets at home on JayTV.com!

Last week, President Bush made a week-long trip to Europe in a bid for trans-Atlantic unity. He urged Europe to put aside any differences it had with the U.S. and become a “strong partner� in “advancing freedom in the world.� He probably just wanted to offer them a beer and then maybe go back to his place to listen to Brooks & Dunn.

309 W. Kirby, Champaign (across from IGA) 352-2273

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M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

In a recent report by the National Conference of State Legislators, a bi-partisan group representing the 50 state legislatures called for an overhaul of the No Child Left Behind act, calling the measure “impractical� and “unconstitutional� for usurping state and local control of public schools. Of course when they say “impractical� and “unconstitutional� what they really mean is “hopeful� and “full of freedom.� Illinois Gov. Rod Blagoyevich has called for much stricter ID theft security measures in the state of Illinois after 5,000 Illinoisians could have had their information sold to criminals as a result of the Choice Point scandal. So expect mysterious charges for “penile enlargement devices� on your credit card, Illinois. Some interesting measures under consideration by the Illinois state legislature this spring include requiring movie theatres to separate the start time of trailers and the actual movie, banning the sale of flavored cigarettes and making the first week of every February “Oprah Winfrey Week.� For those of you in dire need of a flavored cigarette at the prospect of “Oprah Winfrey Week,� condolences are offered.

buzz weekly

YOU TAKE A CHANCE GETTING UP IN THE MORNING, CROSSING THE STREET OR STICKING YOUR FACE IN A FAN.

MATT PAIS • LEAD REVIEWER

chuck shepherd

looking for sex in the big city. (2) In late 2004, officials of the Pere Lachaise cemetery in Paris said they were forced to cordon off the statue of 19thcentury journalist Victor Noir (who was reputed to be quite a ladies’ man) because too many visitors were rubbing Noir’s clothed crotch for good luck.

MA R . 3

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE

Smoking is, as far as I’m concerned, the entire point of being an adult. Many people find smoking objectionable. I myself find many -even more- things objectionable. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs. - Fran Lebowitz.

y o u r e v e r y d a y n e w s but hell, we’re weekly

708 S. Goodwin 18+ Urbana, IL 344-BAND 344-BAND

MA R . 3

THERE IS A BEAST IN MY GUT.

The Merchant of Venice

is a bit of an anomaly in the William Shakespeare canon. It’s not a tragedy—heck, no one even dies—and while there are moments of dry humor, its grim, retributive subject matter is hardly grounds for a comedy. Still, this screen adaptation, written and directed by Michael Radford (Dancing at the Blue Iguana), has plenty of emotional boobytraps and manipulation to compensate for the uncharacteristic lack of either violence or hilarity. Shylock (Al Pacino), a Jewish usurer in 1596 Venice, lends a hefty sum of money to Antonio (Jeremy Irons), a merchant who is representative of the day’s anti-Semitism and has repeatedly shamed his lender. The money goes to Antonio’s dear friend Bassanio (Joseph Fiennes), so he can appear wealthy enough to win the heart of Portia (Lynn Collins), and Shylock loans the money with no interest. There is but one catch: If Antonio fails to return the loan on time, he will sacrifice a pound of his own flesh, which Shylock sees as payback for the public embarrassment he has suffered at the will of Antonio. It’s a tale of religion and revenge, and

Radford wisely downplays the arrangement between Shylock and Antonio, instead allowing anger and mutual resentment to create the suspense in their story. There’s a quiet, yet sinister tone of spiteful prejudice, and it’s no question that Shylock will be quite content to have to deal with an overdue loan. He sets the conditions in hopes that he will have his vengeance; for him, the honor of his faith is more THE MERCHANT OF VENICE • AL PACINO valuable than any amount of money. sations from becoming choppy and verbose, Pacino is powerful and commanding, but the climactic exchange between Shylock though his voice occasionally veers from and Antonio is both chilling and polarizing. elderly, understated Jew into energetic, Like many other Shakespeare stories, The Pacino “Hoo hah!â€? territory. Collins is radi- Merchant of Venice is filled with deception ant as the much-desired Portia, though the and disguise. But unlike the selfish protagofilm never uncovers the mystery behind her nists of classics such as Hamlet or Romeo and seductive, playful personality. And Zuleikha Juliet, the characters here are bound to each Robinson embodies rebellion with a con- other by relationships that they actually, at science as Jessica, Shylock’s daughter who least in theory, hope to honor. Jessica doesruns away with a Christian (Charlie Cox). n’t want her father to know of her relationRadford stages everything amidst glori- ship with Lorenzo, and it is the strong friendous on-location Venice scenery (the rest was ship between Antonio and Bassanio that shot in Luxembourg), and he gives The lends the plot much of its guilt and gravitas. Merchant of Venice a classic, yet somewhat Yet the true fire to The Merchant of more nimble, almost relaxed feel. It doesn’t Venice is the question of what is worth quite have the grandiosity of Kenneth more: money, love, religion or life itself. In Branagh’s Shakespeare adaptations, but it also the end, it’s the law—which can not only doesn’t have Branagh’s stuffiness or the create hate but enforce violence—that notion that the filmmaker would rather leap supercedes in a story in which commitfrom a balcony than lose a line for the pur- ment can be comedic, the loss of one’s faith pose of pacing or brevity. The film moves can be tragic and honor is never for sale. precisely with a rising sense of tension. The actors struggle to keep some of the conver-

BECAUSE OF WINN-DIXIE RANDY MA • STAFF WRITER

B ecause of Winn-Dixie tells the story of a 10-year-old girl, Opal, who moves into a

Florida town with her father. She has no friends and misses her mother, who abandoned her as a child. One day she finds a dog in the Winn-Dixie supermarket and claims him as her own. With the help of her new animal friend they bring back joy to this broken Florida town, rekindling relationships not only with the town folk but her father as well. The movie is sweet; it is charming; it is innocent; it is dull. Based on the novel by Kate Dicamillo, the movie runs like a middle school read: lonely cute girl finds dog that helps her make friends with the eccentric, outcast characters of the town. It’s not a fairy tale, but it’s not exactly reality either.There’s nothing “wrong� with this story, but these kinds of movies have been

BECAUSE OF WINN-DIXIE• ANNA SOPHIA ROBB

done better with more heart and ingenuity. Even more disconcerting is the talent attached to this film. Jeff Daniels plays Opal’s father, a preacher with no flock. He is troubled and alienating himself from a daughter which he loves. Dave Matthews plays the mysterious pet shop owner, Otis, who seems socially inept but has a heart of gold. Finally, Anna Sophia Robb plays Opal in her first film on the big screen. She plays the part fine and has fun, but so does everybody else in the movie. Nothing terrible, nothing great, not much of anything can be said about Because of Winn-Dixie except that it’s cute to watch. Some of the locations in this town are

ludicrous. Gertrude’s Pets, where Otis works, holds parrots, ducks, chickens, rabbits and goats. When is the last time pet shops sold goats? Are there farms in high demand for these animals in Florida? There’s also a Crone who has an enormous tree with what seems like hundreds of bottles hanging from the branches in her back yard. Where does an old hag afford the property for such an enormous amount of land? In the climactic finale, Opal and the Crone hold a lavish party with an endless budget in a town that clearly is in debt. The film was directed by acclaimed director Wayne Wang, who directed an excellent film, The Joy Luck Club.The last two movies he has worked on are this and Maid in Manhattan. This guy needs to get a better agent. He tries so hard and brings great dimension of emotion and sorrow to Because of Winn-Dixie, but it all seems futile. There has to be something better he can do than this. Can someone just throw him a bone? It’s not much to ask. Because of Winn-Dixie isn’t terrible. It adheres to the demographic, but anyone over the age of 13 will find little to enjoy here. Something about a 10-year-old girl whose only friends are a dog, Dave Matthews and elderly characters just seems unsettling to me. That, and the dog smiles. Now that’s just plain eerie.

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PACIFIER (PG) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:15 2:00 3:20 4:30 5:25 7:00 7:40 9:10 9:50 11:20 12:00 Sat. 11:10 11:40 1:15 2:00 3:20 4:30 5:25 7:00 7:40 9:10 9:50 11:20 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:15 2:00 3:20 4:30 5:25 7:00 7:40 9:10 9:50 BE COOL (PG–13) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:30 2:45 4:30 5:15 7:00 7:50 9:35 11:00 12:00 Sat. 11:20 1:30 2:45 4:30 5:15 7:00 7:50 9:35 11:00 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 2:45 4:30 5:15 7:00 7:50 9:35 CONSTANTINE (R) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:15 2:00 4:10 5:00 7:15 7:40 9:50 11:00 Sat. 11:30 1:15 2:00 4:10 5:00 7:15 7:40 9:50 11:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:15 2:00 4:10 5:00 7:15 7:40 9:50 MAD BLACK WOMAN (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 ARE WE THERE YET? (PG) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:10 3:15 5:20 Sat. 11:05 1:10 3:15 5:20 WINN-DIXIE (PG) Fri. & Sat. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:20 11:40 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:20 CURSED (PG–13) Fri. 1:10 3:20 5:30 7:40 9:50 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:10 3:20 5:30 7:40 9:50 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:10 3:20 5:30 7:40 9:50

HIDE AND SEEK (R) Fri. & Sat. 7:40 10:00 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 7:40 10:00 HITCH (PG–13) (2 SCREENS) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 1:30 3:30 4:20 7:00 7:20 9:30 9:45 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 1:30 3:30 4:20 7:00 7:20 9:30 9:45 ◆ MAN OF THE HOUSE (PG–13) Fri. 1:15 3:25 5:35 7:45 10:00 12:10 Sat. 11:05 1:15 3:25 5:35 7:45 10:00 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:15 3:25 5:35 7:45 10:00 ★ MILLION DOLLAR BABY (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:50 12:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:50 SIDEWAYS (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:40 WEDDING DATE (PG–13) Fri. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:05 11:10 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:05 11:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:05 THE JACKET (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 HOTEL RWANDA (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:30 4:15 7:10 9:40 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:10 9:40 Showtimes for 3/4 thru 3/10

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22 •

buzz weekly

I HAVE NEVER LIED TO YOU, I HAVE ALWAYS TOLD YOU SOME VERSION OF THE TRUTH.

MA R . 3

M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

BOOGEYMAN 1.5 stars

Barry Watson & Charles Mesure It was only a matter of time before somebody would come out with a film based on that scary creature underneath the bed or in the closet. The few scares Boogeyman provides are not worth the frustration of the rest of the film. (David Just) COACH CARTER 3.5 stars

Samuel L. Jackson & Ashanti It is predictable, a tad cliche, and it relies on some familiar techniques seen over and over again in sports films. But Coach Carter achieves exactly what it sets out to do. It is a magical story with a surprising and all too perfect ending. (David Just) CONSTANTINE 1.5 stars

T

HITCH 2.5 STARS Will Smith and Eva Mendes Hitch is high-concept Hollywood fluff, yet, for the most part, it works because of its focus on chivalry and love and not sex and debauchery. There’s also a perfect niche for Hitch as a movie that, like an issue of Cosmo, can both entertain and court women, while teaching guys a few things about falling in love. (Matt Pais) MILLION DOLLAR BABY 3 STARS

Clint Eastwood & Hilary Swank It does take an unexpectedly dark twist toward the end that should knock most viewers back a few steps. Yet, Million Dollar Baby never swings hard enough to send you reeling. It’s enough to win a judge’s decision, but it’s no knockout. (Matt Pais) THE WEDDING DATE .5 star

Debra Messing & Dermot Mulroney The Wedding Date is another movie where being single is a curse, and heaven help you if you haven’t landed a man by your mid-30s. It’s as much fun as getting left at the altar and just as romantic. (Matt Pais)

Keanu Reeves & Rachel Weisz Overlong, overdone and overly plotted, Constantine is more of an anti-smoking commercial than an investiga-

University of Illinois Central Black Student Union Presents

COTTON CLUB 2005 “Escape to Harlem on the Soul Train” Saturday March 5, 2005, 7pm Foellinger Auditorium Hosted by J.J. Williamson of Johnson Family Vacation

Non-Students: $12 in advance $15 @ the door Available @ Illini Union Ticket Central & Assembly Hall Ticket Master 333-5000 For more information contact: Latrina Denson: ldenson@uiuc.edu Markea Haywood: mhaywood@uiuc.edu University of Illinois Residential Life: 333-0770 I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

WHY DO THEY CALL ‘EM PANTIES WHEN THERE’S ONLY ONE?

here are so many clichés about life and how quickly it can change.And how quickly your perspective on it can change. And how life is too short. It moves too quickly. And they always seem, well, cliché. But, of course, your view on these can change in an instant. It really does take only a moment to drastically change your life. A split second. A single thought. One mis-step. A wrong turn. An unfortunate judgment. A good call. A bad call. A gamble. A twist of fate. A word. A song. Anything. Life, as long and hard as it may seem at times, is a fragile thing.The course of your life seems so sure. So set. So routine: Get up, get dressed, go to class or work, come home. Routines are hard to break, and they rarely change. But every so often they do.Whether you want it or not. Be it good or bad. But as Forrest Gump so aptly put it: Shit happens. And things change because of it. On Monday of this week, Benjamin Robin stepped off of the curb with his head down and was struck by an MTD bus not two steps into the road. Immediately people rushed to his side. Cells phones flew out.Ambulances were called. Things were bad. They could have been worse. He was responsive to the paramedics’ questions and was quickly taken to the hospital. But lives were changed. The life of Benjamin Robin was changed drastically. So were the lives of people that saw it happen. So were the lives of the people that rushed to his side without a second thought. So were the lives of passersby that heard the story. So were the lives of people like me who saw the immediate aftermath. Maybe I’m being naïve in thinking that an event like this would actually change anyone’s life. I was there seconds after it happened. I saw all of the aftermath. I was shaken up. But my life went on. Classes continued. People stopped talking about what happened. Buses continued to run. Nothing really changes. But in the back of your head, or at least in the back of mine, perspectives are changed. You’re that much more careful when you cross the street, looking both ways three or four times before rushing to the safety of the other sidewalk. Maybe you hug that someone special just a bit longer. Maybe you call your parents just to say hi. Maybe you grab a drink with your friends to take the edge off. Maybe you call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. Maybe you end a trivial fight. Maybe all those clichés are right. But if this changes you, as it did me, listen to a cliché, and live like each moment is your last. ~ Paul

1.5 STARS Robert DeNiro & Dakota Fanning Hide and Seek relies on a climactic twist to deliver its psychological payoff, but here the major revelation deprives the film of any intellectual insight, not to mention its already-weak grasp on reality. As far as horror movies go, Hide and Seek is pure child’s play. (Matt Pais)

Tickets on Sale Feb. 7 Students: $10 in advance $12 @ the door

M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

HIDE AND SEEK

Christian Slater & Tara Reid With the horrid music, awful writing and B-list casting, Alone in the Dark is not a must-see movie. While the idea may have enticed some film studio execs, it will do little for studio audiences. (Lauren Bridgewater)

EDITOR’S NOTE

tion into the forces that compel people toward good or evil. As far as Christianity-themed films go, it’s less laughable than Heath Ledger’s embarrassing, amateur The Order, but it’s still packed with religious philosophizing that neither its script nor its actors can pull off. (Matt Pais)

ALONE IN THE DARK .5 STARS

MA R . 3

Silver Bullet Bar 1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net 344-0937 BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

buzz weekly •

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Cover Design • Carol “the” Mudra Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Carol Mudra Copy Chief • Stacey Ivanic Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Brian Warmoth Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Susie An Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Adam Obendorf, Sue Janna Truscott, Glenn Cochon, Claire Napier, Hannah Bai, Brittany Bindrim Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner Photography • Sarah Krohn, Adriana D’Onofrio Copy Editors • Jen Hubert, Nellie Waddell Staff Writers • Matt Pais, Randy Ma, Susan Schomburg, John Loos, Todd J. Hunter, Maureen Gombas, Emily Cotterman, Angela Loiacono Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Amanda Kolling, Seth Fein, Logan Moore, Jeff Nelson Production Manager • Jazmyne Jones Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Rory Darnay, Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ e-mail:

buzz@readbuzz.com write:

57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call:

217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

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DON’T JUDGE MY DESIGN SKILLS WITH THE COVER...IT’S MIMICKING THEIR WEBSITE!

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INTRO

editor’s note This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Sh!ts and giggles News of the weird • Chuck Shephard First things first • Michael Coulter The local sniff • Seth Fein

AROUND TOWN Insomnia Cookies • Angela Loiacono Life in Hell • Matt Groening q + a with Timothy Twedt

M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

MA R . 3

M A R . 9 , 2 OO5

LISTEN, HEAR Menomena speaks • Logan Moore Keller Williams interview • Susan Schomburg Keller Williams review • Susan Schomburg Buzz/WPGU Local Music Awards Nominees Sound Ground #65 • Todd J. Hunter The Hurly-Burley • Logan Moore Dusting for Vomit #1 with Shipwreck Buzz concert picks

MAIN EVENT Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT The art of walking • Emily Cotterman March Krannert Preview • Jeff Nelson Artist’s Corner with Kyle Forneris Written in Stone • Maureen Gombas (Th)ink • Keef Knight

WINE + DINE Wine and Food A to Z • Amanda Kolling

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Employment 000 010

HELP WANTED Full Time

DIRECTOR

Home Hi, a private middle school for girls (40- 50 students) in Urbana, IL is seeking a Director. Applicants should have extensive teaching experience at the elementary or secondary level. The Director will manage the daily operations of the school and be in charge of short- and longrange planning. For more information, see www.homehi.org. Send cover letter, resume, and the names of three references to Linda Buzard, 604 S. Cedar St., Urbana, IL 61801 or email buzards@aol.com

Merchandise 200 TICKETS

270

STYX/REO. 2 in Section B, Row 2. spruitt@uiuc.edu/

Transportation 300 AUTOMOBILES

310

Apartments

400 410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished 1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626

Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626. BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626. Available Jan 05 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626

RATES:

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

1006 S. 3RD, C.

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

203 S. Sixth. C.

For August 2005. Large 3, 4 bedrooms, 2 baths. Balconies, laundry, covered parking. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

207- 211 JOHN

Fall 2005 Prime Campus Location 2, 3 Bedrooms THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

307 & 310 E. White 307 & 309 Clark

Fall 2005. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Secured building. Available June 1 and August ‘05. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

605 S. Fifth, C.

Fall 2005 5th and Green location Outdoor activity area. 1 bedrooms available. Garage off-street parking. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $525/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free. Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

AP News Bob n’ Dave • Dave King

WESTGATE

APARTMENTS

• Clean 1 & 2 Bedrooms • Superior • Dependable, 24hr. management NOW LEASING maintenance • Short-term Leases FOR FALL • Free Parking • 24 Hour Courtesy • On Busline Gate House

359-5330 359-5330

Hours: M-F 9-5 Sat 9-1 • www.westgateapts.net I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

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SUBLETS Summer Only

1 BR apt. Brand new. 701 S Gregory. $325/mo. Water and parking included. Furnished. 217-721-0772

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

1005 S. SECOND, C

Efficiencies. Available now and Fall 2005. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Billed rate: 35¢/word

CLASSIFIEDS

420

Furnished

506 E. Stoughton, C

For August 2005. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

GREAT HOMES FOR GROUPS Visit www.cu-homes.com or call 217-766-5108.

509 E. White, C.

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

602 E. Stoughton

Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2005, Large 1 bedroom furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

www.lookatusedcars.com

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Man of the House review • Matt Pais Loos Ends • John Loos Film Photo Poll The Merchant of Venice review • Matt Pais Because of Winn-Dixie review • Randy Ma Movie time listings Drive Through Reviews Slowpoke • Jen Sorenson

APARTMENTS

503- 505- 508 E. White

DEADLINE:

THE SILVER SCREEN

buzz weekly •

IF MY LAST NAME WAS VOYANT, I’D BE CLAIRE VOYANT.

PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

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JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available. Call Chad at 344-9157 THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

3 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 kitchens in quiet Champaign neighborhood. On busline, W/D, central air, garage. $950/mo. 352-9815

ROOM & BOARD

540

Want community? Homemade meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

Personals

900

brighten someone’s thursday...

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS

307- 309 Healey Court. Fall 2005. Behind Gully’s. 2 bedrooms. Ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

105 E. John

Available Fall 2005. 1& 2 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished 515 W. Washingtion, C. Newly remodeled, 1 BR, Now available. $395/mo. Near dowtown Champaign. 352-8540. www.faronproperties.com

CONVENIENT ONE BEDROOMS

Conveniently located near downtown Champaign, 1 BR apartments available February 1. From $360/mo. 352-8540, 355-4608. www.faronproperties.com

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Russia’s super missiles STEVE GUTTERMAN

AP STAFF WRITER

MOSCOW (AP) -- Russia will develop missiles impervious to any defense, Defense Minister Sergei Ivanov said Tuesday in an apparent allusion to the nascent U.S. missile defense system. A year ago, President Vladimir Putin said Russia could build unrivaled new strategic weapons, and in November he said it is developing a new nuclear missile system unlike any weapon other countries have or could come up with in the near future. Ivanov suggested the weapons would be based on the mobile version of the Russian Topol-M intercontinental ballistic missiles and on a new sea-based system, the Bulava, according to Interfax news agency. “There is not and will not be any defense against these missiles,” he said, according to Interfax. The Topol-M can hit targets more than 6,000 miles away, and has been in silos since 1998, with about 40 on duty now, according to military officials. Military officials have said they plan to begin deploying the mobile version this year. Ivanov said the missiles would be for defense and not be intended for use against any country, but he added that “Russia is stretched across 10 times zones, we have many neighbors, and not all of them are as predictable as European states,” according to Interfax. In December, Putin encouraged the Defense Ministry to keep up production of new strategic missile systems, a process slowed in the past by a shortage of funds. “Russia will ... remain a major nuclear power,” Ivanov said, according to Interfax. “But we will not bake missiles like pies.Their quantity should be such that it allows for the provision of our own security in any potential development of the international situation.” Russia opposed Washington's withdrawal in 2002 from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty in order to deploy a national missile defense shield, saying the 30-year-old U.S.Soviet pact was a key element of international security. Russian officials subsequently tempered their criticism. Putin said it was a “mistake” that would hurt global security but not threaten Russia. The ABM treaty banned missile defense systems on the assumption that the fear of retaliation would prevent each nation from launching a first strike-a strategy known as mutually assured destruction. The Bush administration has said its prospective missile defense system would be aimed against potential missile threats from nations such as Iraq or North Korea and would be unable to fend off a massive nuclear strike Russia is capable of launching.

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place a buzz personal (217) 337.8337

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S


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What’s Happening in Urbana

New Balance Urbana

Š 2003 New Balance Shoe, Inc.

Come To The New Balance Store

Full Line of NB Shoes & Apparel N is for fit, not fashion. N is for technology, not gimmickry. N is for sticking to your principles. Real shoes engineered for real athletes. In multiple widths, not just multiple sizes. N is for New Balance. Find the perfect fit at New Balance Urbana.

Build Urbana Home Parade March 14 and 15 1-4 p.m. Open houses throughout Urbana The Boneyard Arts Festival April 15 & 16 An annual event hosted by 40 North and supported by the UBA.Visual artists, musicians and other performers come out of the wood work and Urbana, Champaign and Campus come alive. Market At The Square May 14 through November Saturdays from 7a.m. to noon Southeast corner of the parking lot at Lincoln Square Vendors from all over the state of Illinois come to this large open air market to share the freshest home grown produce, local honey, baked goods, hand-crafted items, plants & flowers and much more! With over 100 vendors, the market supports local farmers, and allows people to eat healthy and enjoy themselves every Saturday morning! The Great Race June 28 Downtown Urbana The largest, longest-running road rally comes through town on their coast-to-coast race.There will be vintage cars on display, live musical entertainment, and a sure good time for all!

BUY SELL TRADE

CDs LPs DVDs

110 S. Race St. Urbana 367-7927

www.recordswap.com

30th Annual Sweetcorn Festival August 26 and 27th Downtown Urbana The businesses and citizens of Urbana, Illinois, invite you to the streets of Downtown Urbana for Champaign County's oldest and largest festival VOTED THE BEST FESTIVAL IN URBANA-CHAMPAIGN, 2002. For over a quarter century the Urbana Sweetcorn Festival has brought thousands of friends, families, entertainers and vendors to Main Street to share in the best that traditional, small town America has to offer. 4th Annual Beer and Chili Cook-Off October 1 Downtown Urbana Over 1,500 attendees can sample 14 different kinds of chili and 150 specialty and import beers. Music is provided all day to for participant's enjoyment. Awards will be presented for best chili, people's choice, and showmanship.

Feature YOUR Urbana business here. Call 337-8382 for details.

Street Theater Festival Date To Be Announced Downtown Urbana The day the street becomes the stage. Every year, the Prompting Theater, along with area businesses, sponsor the Street Theater Festival full of a day of laughter and family fun in downtown Urbana. Downtown restaurants offer refreshments, regional performing groups keep the crowds fixated, and visitors can try their hand at stilt walking, tightrope walking, juggling, and the ever popular sword fighting.

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Buzz Magazine: March 3, 2005  

March 3, 2005

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