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Champaign-Urbana’s community magazine FREE

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week of JANUARY 20, 2011

On the rocks  4    hahaha  8    no folds bar  15

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JANUARY 20, 2011




Lyosha speaks on his photographic process.



A review of the musical comedy.



Why Matt Carey likes Airplane! most of all.



...and he hates winter because of it.

ROLLING DEEP 6 ON THE217.COM COMMUNITY Did ya hear? They took Mark Twain’s swears away! Now, how will anyone understand the full impact of the ever-present racism/classism that was perpetuated in the late 19th century? They’ll read our new feature, “Spitballin’,” that’s how! It’s up Tuesday. Everyone’s reading it! ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Ban those books! But, why? Lauren weighs in on banned books in “Writing on the Wall,” up on Monday.

MUSIC Come back to campus in the right groove with a back-to-school playlist, online Tuesday.

MOVIES & TV I’m just saying, I would shower Natalie Portman in kisses. A review of No Strings Attached will be up on Saturday.


Ranging from surely unwholesome to pleasantly healthy, every week “Amy’s Kitchen Adventures” offers a unique recipe that is easily prepared in your home or apartment. Look for this week’s column on Saturday! 2




Your guide to this week’s events in CU.




I was reading the paper the other day and came across an article about electric cars. The idea of electric cars is pretty great, but I have always doubted their plausibility. It is an entirely smart alternative, but I understand why they haven’t caught on. There are a growing number of people who care about the environment — enough for there to be a market for these types of cars — but, in my opinion, there hasn’t been enough done to make them a realistic option for most people. That is, until now! According to the article, various outlet stores across the U.S. will soon be outfitted with charging stations for electric cars, scooters and bikes. Some of these places will be offering the electricity for free, but I am sure that won’t last. Even so, the businesses who have started to charge for it are charging around $3 an hour. Considering the price of gas, that seems more than reasonable to me. There aren’t many of these stations in operation just yet, only a few in selected cities. But if these turn out to be as positive and efficient as they were in the trial situations, it is very likely they will be popping up all over. The main problem that many green initiatives face is the extra effort and cost needed from the consumer. It isn’t that being green is hard to do — sorting items out from the garbage and bringing reusable bags to the grocery store are relatively simple acts — it is more their inconvenience that stops people from carrying them out. With the new charging stations being installed throughout the community, owning an eco-friendly car will be much, much easier. Owners will be able to cross “put gas in the car” off of their to-do list, and simply plug in while they run their other errands. I mark this as a win for those fighting to make our world more eco-friendly. All of the work bringing this issue to the forefront is finally paying off! It is exciting to see this shift in social consciousness from being unaware and wasteful to really being mindful of what our actions can mean. This might be a win for everyone.


by Nick Martin Did you really think New Years was over? Well, not if you’re a tree it’s not. Jan. 20 is Tu B’Shevat, the Jewish New Year for trees. Never heard of it? Me either. However, I read on my calendar that this is an actual holiday, and I knew immediately I needed to research it. Surprisingly, trees celebrate the New Year much different than people do. They do not drink champagne, make resolutions or watch Twilight Zone marathons on Syfy. All jokes aside, Tu B’Shevat is a fascinating holiday. In Hebrew, Tu means 15. so the New Year for trees is celebrated on the 15th day of the Hebrew calendar’s month of Shevat. Tu B’Shevat exists to calculate the age of trees for tithing. According to, “The ancient farmers believed that on that day the sap begins to rise in the fruit trees in Israel and the land starts to awaken from winter.” Jews in Israel celebrate this specialized New Year in a variety of ways. Perhaps most simply, they eat fresh fruit. Some people try to eat at least fifteen different types of fruit. Various fruits have different biblical significance. Apples are tied to the Garden of Eden (duh). Figs represent peace. (However, they taste awful.) Israelis celebrate Tu B’Shevat in an ecofriendly way, too. Much like America’s Arbor Day, Tu B’Shevat is a good excuse to plant some new trees and filter out … whatever trees filter out of our atmosphere. Jews all over the world can donate money for a tree to be planted in their name in Israel. In sum: the Jewish calendar has a day set aside for reflection about trees and nature. That’s really neat. I’d suggest that anyone reading plant their own tree; however, January in North America is not tree planting weather. Regardless, happy Tu B’Shevat!   January

With love, buzz & friends.



20 - 26, 2011


Nick Martin Community Editor



buzz staff

» Scrappy-Doo: I understand that sometimes a TV show needs a new character to get better ratings, but Scrappy-Doo sucked. Seriously, the perceived verisimilitude of Scooby-Doo went right down the tubes once Scrappy was introduced. I was totally willing to believe that a dog could talk PENDING he a) talked with a severe speech impediment and b) walked on four legs. Scrappy-Doo completely questions the validity of the Doo mythology! Little dogs shouldn’t be bi-pedal! It defies the very core beliefs our society holds true. » When the monster wasn’t even in the episode to begin with: Oh great Macguffin, Scooby-Doo! You gave me all those clues just to pull a fast one. “It turns out it’s a character that has yet to be introduced or explained!” Well of course I didn’t guess that! Mystery writing isn’t about tricking your audience; it’s about building to a satisfying (or, if you’re James Ellroy, unsatisfying) conclusion that was obscured the whole time. » Those ridiculous movies with inexplicable guest stars: Chalk it up to post modernism, but Don Knots, Batman and Robin and Phyllis Diller have all appeared on Scooby-Doo. I don’t fault the show for relying on guest appearances. In fact, the new Scooby-Doo movies merely upped the already ever-present surrealism Scooby was willing to offer. What I have a problem with is how the guests were used. Instead of organically being introduced into the plot, they met Scooby and immediately decided to start solving crimes. Never was an explanation offered as to why major Hollywood stars would be willing to fight monsters with a talking dog. That, my friends, is just silly.

Cover Design  Annaka Olsen Editor in Chief  Brad Thorp Managing Editor & Copy Chief  Claire Keating Copy Chief  Emily Siner Art Director  Annaka Olsen Photography Editor  Ramzi Dreessen Image Editor  Peggy Fioretti Photographers  Claire Keating Designers  Adam Fabianski, JoAnn Pierce Music Editor  Dylan Sutcliff Food Editor  Jeanine Russell MovieS Editor  Matt Carey ArtS Editor  Lauren Hise Community Editor  Nick Martin CU Calendar  Elisia Phau Copy Editors  Drew Hacther Sales Manager  Carolyn Gilbert Marketing/Distribution  Brandi Willis Publisher  Mary Cory

On the Web Email Write  512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 CALL  217.337.3801

We reserve the right to edit submissions. buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. buzz Magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. © Illini Media Company 2010

fig. 8 Claire Keating Managing Editor


1. My new camera phone 2. Homemade egg rolls 3. My roommate, Tracey Morrison 4. Combining my new phone, homemade egg rolls and my roommate, Tracey Morrison (see fig. 8)

Emily siner copy chief


» Travel mugs: Did you know that if you get your drink at Espresso Royale made in your travel mug, you get a discount for being environmentally friendly? And at Caribou Coffee, you get a full 50 cents off! That’s half a dollar! This totally makes me want to drive electric cars (see Brad’s column, left) and celebrate Tu B’Shevat (see Nick’s Heads Up!, left), which, in fact, I already do. » Assignment notebooks: Ever since my first assignment notebook was given to be in third grade, after I forgot to do my homework, I have relied on that little calendar for almost everything. We’ve been through a lot, my assignment notebooks and I. » Rainy days in the winter: For this sole reason: If it’s raining, it’s above freezing, which means I can walk outside without wanting to cry frozen tears of anguish. Lauren Hise Arts & Entertainment


» The price of textbooks: Though the prices no longer floor me as they did when I was a frightened freshman, I still have trouble getting over the price of books at the beginning of every semester. While I got off pretty easily this semester, the totals that my friends have reported have done little to convince me of the justice of the system. » Having to cook for myself again: After a month at home, I became pretty used to my mom’s home-cooked meals. There is nothing like an empty fridge to make you miss them. » The beginning of the end: I have truly enjoyed my time here at UIUC. Being so close to the end has made me realize how much I am going to miss it and also how much I still have left on that senior bucket list. buzz   






Johnny Walker Black Label

by Jeanine Russell

1/2 PRICE CAR WASH WITH OIL CHANGE Corner of W. Bradley & Country Fair, Champaign (Near Parkland College)


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“Who Says Oil & Water Don’t Mix”

Adam Fabian

flavors you are facing. When drinking whiskey, it’s good to get a good smell first to let yourself start thinking about the flavors. Upon taking a drink, let it coat your whole tongue, starting at the tip and working to the sides and back, to see how the flavors develop. This isn’t a beer that you take large drinks of, it’s for sipping, and the progress of flavors is what makes it so complex. If you are familiar with wine tasting, it is much the same concept. Black starts light at the tip of the tongue. It’s sweet in the way of vanilla, and as it finishes it opens up, showing spiciness and smoke. The peat develops through the end, but there is a definite overall smoothness to the scotch in a well-structured and intentional way. It is not smooth for lack of character. Nothing jumps out harshly. Instead, the flavors roll and develop slowly and evenly through the drink. Because Johnny Walker Black Label is a blend, it acquaints the drinker with different regions of scotch in one drink. The peat and salt of the Islay region scotches compliment the sweetness of the Speyside region. It is all sewn together. The beauty is really in the following drinks, though, where you become more familiar with the scotch, and as it airs, its flavors will change slightly.

Illustration by

I love whiskey — all of the whiskeys. I like the sweetness of bourbons, the smoke of scotch, the way Canadian whiskeys blend in cocktails and the smoothness of Irish whiskeys. I come from a long line of whiskey lovers, too. Russell’s Reserve makes an excellent rye whiskey that my family takes immense pride in even though we have absolutely no affiliation other than the same name. There are so many components and so much history behind whiskey that make it such an interesting and complex drink-turned-hobby and collection. But mostly, I like sharing whiskey and talking about my favorites. With this column, I’m going to write about — loosely, review — one whiskey a week. My first: Johnny Walker Black Label. It’s one of my favorites because I can drink it neat. It’s not so rough that I need ice or so light that I am left wanting. At around $30 for a bottle, it is also one of the best for the money or for those looking to breakthrough into the world of scotch. To define “the world of scotch,” it means a whiskey made in Scotland, mostly from barley. Add some peat and ocean air, depending on the region, and you have smokey, salty, delicious drinks. Most of these scotches are blends, which means they are a combination of scotches, versus single malts which I will cover in later installments. Johnny Walker produces a series of blends: Red, Black, Blue, Green and Gold. Black has a medium amber color in the glass. Noting the color can help you determine what kinds and depths of

JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011


Cocina Reál, a new Mexican restaurant, opens on University Avenue by Emily Siner


rom the outside, Cocina Reál looks like nothing new. In fact, locals and students probably could still recognize the building more easily as the home of the old Dos Reales on University Ave. But walking inside, Dos regulars can begin to see this Mexican restaurant is different: Cocina Reál is Dos with a facelift. Owner Rafael Escamilla closed this Dos last September — he kept the other local branch, on Prospect, intact — for remodeling and reopened under a new name in early December, according to general manager Jose Melendez. “The owner decided to kind of get a new aspect, kind of change it up a little,” Melendez said. Escamilla updated the restaurant’s kitchen and, more evidently to customers, its interior aesthetics. The dining room is now brightly painted yellow and orange and has new lamps, furniture and even salt and pepper shakers. (You can now grind your own pepper!) The makeover also included a complete redesign of the menu. Its contents still seem standard for a Mexican restaurant — quesadillas, enchiladas, a lot of two-

word dishes with Spanish names — but Melendez pointed out a few items that he thinks exemplify Cocina’s makeover. Unlike Dos, he said, Cocina serves premium margaritas. I asked him: What makes a margarita premium? “Grand Marnier and top shelf tequila,” he said. These bad boys are made to order and run from $7.49 to $9.99 depending on the preferred brand of liquor. Cocina also offers tableside guacamole for $6.49, which Melendez said has been popular so far. Customers add ingredients — cilantro, tomato and jalapeno, for example — to their preference, and their server makes it as they order. The server puts in the mix-ins and a whole avocado. Not only is the process fun to watch, but the result is also incredibly fresh. The rest of the menu is priced similarly to Dos’s. The fajitas Guadalajara, which Melendez recommended, includes steak, chicken, pork and chorizo (sausage) and sides for $11.99. The quesadilla Mexicali, a chicken and spinach que-

sadilla, is served with rice and guac for $6.49. Melendez also recommended the pollo borracho ($9.79), which translates to English as “drunk chicken,” he told me with a smile. “We marinate the chicken with tequila while it’s in the grill, so it gives it a nice flavor,” he said. Though the Cocina does not yet have a vegetarian menu — it’s currently working on one — most items can be made to order without meat, Melendez said. On a recent Friday afternoon, Jim Titlow sat at a booth by the window with a serving of the pollo borracho, which was covered in vegetables on his plate. Titlow, the father of a UIUC student, came to the building hoping to find Dos, which his son recommended. But he was pleased with what he stumbled across. “It’s good. It’s real good,” he said. The bottom line: Dos fans should not despair. In fact, even the most staunch supporters can accept the name change because Cocina customers can still order Dos items that are not on the new menu. A lot of the staff stayed the same after the name change, Melendez said, so they still remember how to make old favorites. Cocina Reál is open from 11 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. every day, with lunch specials offered Monday through Saturday until 2:30 p.m.

BRIEF BOX COCINA REAL 1106 West University Ave., U. 328-0411 Mexican, margaritas

Illustration by Adam Fabianski



JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011


Egg Rolls

by Monique Lassere

History The egg roll remains one of those dishes that has spread from its origin to across the world, resulting in many different recipes and ingredients involved in making the entrée. Many Asian countries claim origin of the egg roll, lending to the food’s many variants, and contrary to popular belief, though Southern China is said to be a source of the egg roll, it typically is not eaten as a traditional dish there. The egg rolls with fillings we are familiar with are more reminiscent of Vietnamese cuisine.



1. Egg roll wraps (available at most grocery stores) 2. Cabbage cut into thin slices (about half of a head) 3. Sprouts 4. Onions 5. Carrots in thin slices 6. Tofu, cooked chicken, beef, seafood (optional) 7. Soy sauce to season 8. Peanut or vegetable oil (to cook) 9. One egg (beaten/whisked)



2. Stuff your rolls, and don’t allow seepage. Place your wraps on a clean surface so that the points are up and down and left and right (should appear as a diamond, not a square). Place the filling onto the rolls.





Seal the egg roll. To prevent the egg roll from unwrapping in the deep fryer, you need to seal the seams. This also prevents oil from filling the inside of the egg roll. In a small dish or bowl place a beaten egg. Dip your finger into the mixture and use this as glue to seal the top point of your wrap and any openings where you feel the wrap needs to be glued together.

5. Cook your egg rolls. Since deep fryer temperatures will vary and size of the egg rolls will affect the cooking time, there is no set cooking time. Place 3-4 egg rolls in the deep fryer and allow to cook until golden brown. Roll the egg rolls in the oil to evenly brown the wrapper. Avoid overcooking the egg rolls.

6. Serve immediately. Egg rolls are best served as soon 3.




After the fold and roll, the egg rolls are ready to be deep fried. If possible, serve the egg rolls right after they have finished cooking because this is when they taste best. Whether your holiday cheer is year-long (the Chinese New Year still awaits us!) or you’re in need of a new recipe for a traditional dish, try out this simple and tasty recipe for traditional egg rolls or substitute ingredients for something a little different!

Preheat your deep fryer. Allow your deep fryer to heat through thoroughly. If you want, you can use peanut oil, as it adds a pleasant nutty flavor to the egg rolls.

Wrap your rolls. Take the bottom point of your wrap and fold it over top of the filling. Fold the sides in towards the middle, and roll the filling towards the top point.

Unlike the spring roll, which sometimes has a ricebased dough and is typically smaller, the egg roll consists of a wheat-based dough and a puffier, thicker skin with more filling inside. Often, egg rolls are filled with chopped vegetables (usually cabbage), meat (chicken, pork, beef, shrimp) or noodles, while some dessert egg rolls are made with cream or chocolate. To get a little insight on this process, I talked to Winnie Ling of Urbana’s China Garden. Ling said for their egg rolls they use a pre-made shell ordered from an outside source. Pre-made shells can be found in grocery stores, or shells can be made easily from scratch using flour, eggs, water, salt and peanut oil (depending on which recipe used). From there, China Garden’s special recipe of vegetables, spices and other goodness is packed into the egg roll. Here comes the tricky part. “The most difficult part, I would say, is how you pack that. Because sometimes if you don’t do that well, things inside will come out!” So pay special attention to how the recipe specifies folding and rolling the egg roll - as the name says, the roll is the most important part!


as they have finished cooking. Serve with a chilled bottle of sweet cherry sauce, plum sauce, sweet and sour sauce or anything you enjoy on egg rolls.   JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011

The caps lock button is sooo 1987.

commemorative holidays and you! A column on the days you get off for noble people

by Nick Martin I saw a Sears commerical advertising a “Martin Luther King Day Sale!”; the voice-over promised potential customers “savings of up to 40 percent on washers and dryers!” How stupid: a big corporation using the legacy of an American activist to trick people into buying housewares. In fact, washers and dryers are perhaps the worst product to be tied to MLK — because laundry, at it’s very core, depends on the separation of whites and colors. MLK hated that. I recently started musing about the nature of holidays (by musing, I mean yelling loudly whilst drunk). There are three types of holidays: holidays for big gatherings and old traditions, personal holidays to commemorate something important in an individual’s life, and commerical holidays that exist simply for selling useless crap. All three overlap; some holidays try to disguise themselves as another. However, I think there might be fourth type: holidays that are around simply to commemorate important people from history. Casmir Polaski Day, Washington AND Lincoln’s Birthday give us not only a long weekend but an opportunity to avoid the pressure of other more traditional holidays. Something you already knew: With the right family or friend group, traditional holidays can be great; if your family/friends suck, then they’re awful. Regardless, they’re almost always identical from year to year. Let’s take Christmas: I’ve done the same thing on Christmas since I was born. Sometimes it’s at a different house, or someone old is dead, or someone new is born. Otherwise, Christmas has been the same for the last 20 years (probably longer). Forturnately, I like Christmas and all of my relatives; I’m merely observing that tradition gets kind of “same-y.” This is not the case with MLK day. While Martin Luther King deserves a holiday commemorating his legacy, the holiday doesn’t have much holiday spirit associated with it. Sears and its houseware department would disagree, but to my knowledge, no one used Jan. 17, 2011, as an excuse to sell, say, bar stools with Martin Luther King’s face on them. This is good news. MLK Day exists because Ronald Regan said it should in 1983, although it wasn’t observed until 1986. There’s nothing to buy;

there’s nothing required for celebration. You don’t need a pumpkin, a turkey or a tree. It exists to facilitate a proper reverence for civil rights leaders in the American Civil Conscious. But I don’t feel knowledgeable enough to muse about on my own. (For example: Is it only 1960’s Civil Rights leaders or should I be thinking about Ida B. Welles and W.E.B. DuBois on MLK day too?) Really, it doesn’t matter. No one cares what I’m doing on MLK Day. On the third Monday in January 2011, I celebrated the legacy of America’s most recognizable social rights activists by eating yogurt. On the third Monday in January 2010, I watched cartoons on DVD. On the third Monday in January 2009, I went to Iowa. If you’re wondering how I remember these things a) I journal, and b) that’s not the point. MLK Day, and similar commemorative holidays, have no planned itinerary. They’re usually open for whatever. That’s not better than tradition; it’s merely cool in it’s own way. A certain type of person likes to complain about holidays like Valentine’s Day because they merely exist to keep the candy/greet-

ing card conglomerates healthy and evil. Well, those people are only sort of right (like when they’re pining the existence of Sweetest Day). Yet, these holidays aren’t all bad. Buying stuff is fun; it stimulates the economy; The Hallmark Store is a positive outlet for nice old ladies to express their niceness; etc. But it’s still strange that the primary raison d’etre for all of Oct. 31’s activities is buying weird clothes and candy. I think “personal” holidays are the worst. Birthdays, anniversaries: they all suck. Birthdays make me wistful; among cake, gifts and pointy hats, I must also confront that I am a year closer to death yet nowhere closer to self-actualization. I always forget anniversaries and I don’t know what’s “buying appropriate.” I don’t care if a year is a long time to date someone: Netflix subscription is a million more times practical than a bracelet. But MLK Day avoids all of this. It avoids the pressure put upon Valentine’s day to be birthdays to be “fun.” I find I usually expect my birthday to go much better than it usually does; I’m stupid for expecting the world to treat me nicer just because I was born. Everyone was born! New Years’ Eve has this problem too. I usually just use personal holidays to bitch about meaningless problems I’m faced with (I have to parallel park on my birthday?!). In fact, I think MLK Day is a holiday that actually demands a personal interaction. You can spend your MLK Day however you want! Anything goes! There are no obligations to fulfill, but the day is filled with the happy reminder of how far our country has come because of that great man. The best part is, there are holidays like this all year round. For example, since we live by Chicago, on the first Monday in March, we get to remember Casmir Polaski, a Polish general from the American Revolution who was both tactically gifted and generous to his troops. Personally, I might celebrate Polaski Day by sitting on a couch, listening to a Steve Martin record and eating three containers of blackberry yogurt at five o’clock in the morning. Thanks, Casmir.

Learn stuff and stay green Textbook rentals and e-books save money and the earth by Ashley LaVela Campus bookstores are offering alternatives to purchasing textbooks that could save students money and benefit the planet. T.I.S. College Bookstore offers multiple textbook alternatives. The store has carried e-books for nearly five years and started renting books during the spring 2010 semester, said Brian Paragi, store manager. The store carries nearly 300 titles for rental and between 200 and 300 e-book titles, “We use our own inventory [for renting], which makes it very difficult to remain viable,” said Paragi. Lower prices also appeal to students when shopping for textbooks. “I’m a college student, so money is my deciding factor,” said Chris Bulaon, a junior in agricultural and consumer economics. Michael Geller, vice president of marketing for, estimated that students usually

save about 75 percent by renting books. “Savings can range anywhere from 60 to 95 percent depending on the title and rental period,” he said. The Illini Union Bookstore uses bookrenter. com for its textbook rentals. In addition to renting textbooks, participates in multiple green initiatives. It offers carbon-free shipping by purchasing carbon credits to offset the amount of carbon they use from making deliveries, Geller said. Plus, the process of renting textbooks involves reusing rather than buying new. A book is typically reused five times. Paper used by the U.S. book industry equates to “approximately 20 million trees a year,” according to Santa Clara County in California certified as a Green Business, accord-

ing to the company’s website. This means the company is responsible for implementing “internal practices that help curb pollution, conserve resources, and reduce waste.” The company has also signed the Green Printing Initiative’s Book Industry Treatise, which encourages responsible paper usage. These green initiatives have been in place for around two years, Geller said. Some students see the option of renting textbooks more as a convenience. “It’s cheaper than buying used and wouldn’t require me to try and find someone to sell the book to later on down the road,” Bulaon said. Although renting textbooks reduces the number of new books created, some students do not view this as the most environmentally friendly alternative. “If they want to go ‘green,’ then they should

amp up their e-books system,” Bulaon said. However, they are not all user-friendly, Paragi said. Students may rather hold a physical book rather than stare at a computer screen. At T.I.S. College Bookstore, the popularity of e-books has been “growing slowly but steadily,” Paragi said. Paragi has seen the book industry change over time. Upon graduating from college, he entered into the book business and said the industry has “changed drastically” over the last 18 years. Throughout his time in the industry, he has seen multiple changes ranging from diskettes and CDROMs being added to books to the creation of e-books. Based on his experience in the industry, Paragi feels that e-books will eventually surpass rentals in popularity. “I have a hard time seeing [rentals] make money. Something has to change,” Paragi said. buzz   


JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011 

Get the first laugh Come to Canopy Club for a night of comedy by Lauren Hise


with and made an impression on us as people we really think audiences would enjoy watching.” For the Tuttle brothers, these shows are the culmination of a lifelong passion that they have only recently began to pursue. “My brother and I started around May 2009,” said Jesse. “We heard about an open mic night in Peoria. It sounded like fun, so we put together a few minutes of stuff and gave it a try. We were always attracted to comedy but never really knew doing it was an option. We are both quite hyper-vigilant and would always notice little things, usually humorous in nature, about situations. I think we were always ‘into’ comedy just without really doing it.” They certainly appear to be making up for lost time. In addition to performing themselves, the brothers run open mic nights at Memphis on Main, where newcomers to comedy have an opportunity to test their skills. Unfortunately, the experience does not go smoothly for everyone, which is why the Tuttles themselves had hesitated to start there in the past. “We heard about [open mic nights] before we got started in comedy but wanted to get a few tries at it before getting up and performing in front of

Patrons watch comedy sketches at the Canopy Club in Urbana on Nov. 5, 2010. Photo by Eric Kwan



Performers from a comedy troupe from the University of Missouri perform at the Canopy Club in Urbana on Nov. 5, 2010. Photo by Eric Kwan

people we actually know,” said Jesse. “Looking bad in front of any crowd is rough [and] in front of your friends and possibly family is just brutal.” Still, even with the risk of embarrassment, performers keep coming back, no doubt due in part to the experience of performing at Memphis. “We really enjoy the environment at Memphis. It really does have an upbeat, fun feel to it,” said Jesse. “We like to run really tight well-paced shows, but a lot of participants say it’s more laid back than other comedy nights in other venues. The atmosphere really brings you in and makes you want to laugh and enjoy the people on stage.” Being performers themselves, atmosphere is something that the Tuttles take seriously, knowing that the crowd can greatly affect a show. “Sometimes you will find better more active crowds at bar shows than you will in actual comedy clubs. Sometimes comedy club crowds are really rough and hard to break through,” said Jesse. “Many of the crowds at venues like that seem to be very into a traditional approach to

stand-up, and if you alter your approach and have a different style, they seem to take longer to warm up to you.” A cold crowd is likely something that Jesse is hoping to avoid at the show this Friday, though he wonders what sort of reception they will receive at their first show at Canopy. Hopefully, if all goes well, the show will become a monthly place were CU can expect quality stand-up. “We feel like the UIUC really needs a place for stand-up comedy,” Jesse said. “The Comedy Club in Bloomington, Ill., does so well with its ISU audiences. We think Urbana and campus could really get into a monthly stand up comedy show.” College students could really get into that, Jesse said. “I think we have a really cool thing we can start here, but we need that audience to do it,” he said.


ew will dispute that Canopy Club is one of CU’s places to go for entertainment. They have great shows, great music, and, thanks to the work of the Tuttle brothers, they’re about to have great laughs. This Friday, Jan. 21, from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Canopy Club will be hosting Comedy at the Canopy, an event that Jesse and Justin Tuttle hope will become a monthly highlight in the CU stand-up calendar. Twin brothers Jesse and Justin Tuttle are the minds behind C-U Comedy, a local group that specializes in bringing great comics from around the area together. “Many groups are troupes of performers that travel together, whereas C-U Comedy is more of the sponsoring group that I run alongside my brother to give our shows an official stamp on it,” said Jesse Tuttle. “We perform in all of the C-U Comedy shows, and we try to use the very best of performers from the area on our larger shows as well as comics from other areas we have worked

canopy club 708 S. Goodwin Ave., U. what: Comedy at the Canopy when: Friday, Jan. 21, from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. TICKETS: $5   JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011

Get out of my head.

One on One

with Lyosha Photographer

by Lauren Hise



lacing observation before photography, the artist Lyosha provides an incredible look at the world through his work. With a passion that took root when he was thirteen, Lyosha has spent his life studying art and the world around him. Though he has committed some time to studying painting, the artist gravitates most towards black and white photographs, many of which will be on display at the indi go artist co-op from Wednesday, Jan. 12, to Monday, Jan 24. buzz spoke to Lyosha about how he got involved in photography, why he works in black and white, and why he thinks art is so important for children. » buzz: When did you first become interested in photography? Lyosha: At the age of 13, in school, where I had started to take a photography workshop classes. I discovered the red light of the printing process guided me into a different world of magic. I used my grandfather’s FED 1, a range finder camera and a replica of Leica, to take photos of my dogs and playmates. » buzz: Why do you tend to gravitate towards black and white photos? L: The more I was getting into it, the more I learned about light, noticing its major role in the creation of atmosphere in the frame of 35 mm negative. It became obvious to me that I was using light as a tool — a pencil, a charcoal, etc. — and I was drawing lines, forming spaces, engineering the levels of perspective. Black and white photography is limited with a color spectrum, replacing [the usual spectrum] with shadows of black on white. In order to achieve a sensual feeling, this limitation has to be precisely orchestrated through composition. I began to pay closer attention to aspects of the property of art. Like a fellow traveler, painting took me around the corner for a 20-year walk, studying and painting. Now, I am back to black and white photos with the upgraded knowledge of light and creation of colors. It brought the black and white colors back to me with more understanding of complexity and simplicity.

» buzz: I read on the indi go website that you place observation before photography. Can you tell me more about what you mean by that? L: Observation for me is an exercise for training my vision, my eyes, playing with distances, angles. Observing things helps me to find myself connected with surroundings, allows me to extract fragments of space and time without interruption of relations, stills from life and slices of time. But I have to point it to my camera. A photographer, most of the time, is a man with a camera, which defines two objects, and they both have a different point of view. » buzz: What do you hope that people take away from this exhibit? L: The leitmotif of this show is open with improvisation. I desire to attract a viewer with notes that will create a harmony, no matter what bar they belong to. Nature, people, animals, landscapes, plants and trees — I can continue. All these things are showing us what we have, including ourselves, and how they are all related to each other. Do we want to lose it? » buzz: I understand that some of the proceeds from this exhibit will go to the Cunningham Children’s

home for art supplies. Why is this so important? L: I believe that when a child is born, he/she is a creator and a destroyer at the same time. Art can be both. It can create a human being, and it can destroy it. Thus, it is important, as early as possible, to direct such an instinct towards creation. Nursing a soul that will become sensitive to confirm beauty before ugliness, creation before destruction, will save not the only environment but everything above — a culture, a history, a language, an art. » buzz: What advice can you give to people who are looking to get into photography? L: Roughly speaking, for the past ten years in particular, digital photography has been taking over. Old timers are selling their gears on eBay, professional film labs went to oblivion, and an individual with a film camera looks like a lonely camel lost in the desert of time. Good, I would say. It’s called progress. Accordingly, regardless of equipment, there is the Art of Photography and the Commercial Photography. Can commercial photography represent art? Disputable, possibly. But one has to learn basics and improvise freely.

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THE indi go artist co-op 9 E. University Ave., C. what: A Simple Gaze artist: Lyosha When: Wednesday, Jan. 12, to Monday, Jan. 24,

from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. Used with permission from Lyosha





entertainment )'('

Humor that’s outside the box Toys run the stage in this Parkland production




Photo used with permission from Parkland College Theatre

by Clara Bush




U OF I ASSEMBLY HALL • CHAMPAIGN, ILLINOIS Tickets available at the Assembly Hall Box Office, all Ticketmaster outlets including or charge by phone at 217/333-5000.



ometimes, British humor just doesn’t click well with American audiences. However, that problem is one that the cast of Outside the Box is trying hard to avoid. “It’s kind of toeing the line—we don’t want to call our audiences stupid, but we just want to make sure that people do understand what’s going on in the show,” said Director Wesley Huff. With this thought in mind, the show, which will be performed Wednesday, Jan. 19, to Saturday, Jan. 22, at 7:30 p.m. and Sunday, Jan. 23, at 3 p.m. at Parkland College, was re-worked from its original form as a British satire. In fact, according to Huff, a Parkland student studying set design, many references were changed to obtain the final product, with the cast researching much of the play’s humor before deciding whether or not to change it. “I watch a lot of British comedy, and I wasn’t getting it,” said Huff. The play setting is a toy box owned by an unseen boy and girl. The “human resource fairy,” as Huff described it, comes in to eliminate one of the toys to make room for new Christmas toys. As a result, according to Huff, the play is an ”interplay of the characters on who’s going to go.” For example, one of the characters, Kombat Kev, played by Rob Zaleski, wants to be in control and in charge but loses focus because he has affections for a doll. According to Huff, Outside the Box was chosen from about a dozen other plays. He submitted the play after reading and falling in love with it,

saying that the writing was good and the play had an overall positive theme. “There’s a lot of snappy comebacks and witty humor,” said Huff. While the toy characters may be bickering onstage, there are many good friendships offstage, no doubt due to the atmosphere that Huff describes as down to earth and friendly at Parkland. “I think he [Huff] did a fantastic job casting a talented group of people,” said Zaleski, high praise when considering that this is Huff’s first time in the director’s chair. “I’ve always wanted to do it at least once, and I really enjoyed it,” said Huff. “It’s been an amazing experience for me to do stuff at Parkland.” Usually working at Station Theatre, where he practices his current focus, set design, Huff said this production has made him consider changing his major. “I’ve enjoyed this whole process, really,” said Huff. Wanting to work with a first time director because of its new perspective, Zaleski met Huff at Station Theatre, and, along with other cast members, has seen Huff evolve, learn and change. Different from Station, which is smaller according to Zaleski, Outside the Box has the audience sitting on three sides of the actors. Huff and Zaleski both cautioned, however, that the show is not for children, especially ones under the age of 13, because of the show’s strong language and innuendos. “I think it’ll really bring people in,” said Zaleski, “and make them feel like they are in the box with the characters.”

JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011

buzz goes to spamalot 

Drury Lane’s production of Spamalot lives up to the hype

by Megan Betti ans of the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail rejoiced when the musical Spamalot first came to Chicago in late 2004. Though I managed to miss both that run as well as the two national tours, I finally got my chance to see the stage adaptation at Drury Lane Oakbrook Terrace in Chicago’s west suburbs. For several reasons, I was hesitant as I took my seat near the front of the center section. For one, I was petrified that this regional theatre could never live up to my expectations that had been so raised by the snippets I’d seen of Tim Curry in the role of Arthur. Second, I realized that I was within throwing distance of the stage. This is, after all, a very Monty Python show, though, for the record, no one in the audience was maimed. Embarrassed, yes. Injured, no. Then, the show began. The Historian, perfectly pompous, enters, expounding on the glories of England. He is followed promptly by a flawlessly choreographed song about Finland that sets a much better tone for the rest of the show. The costumes were fabulous and paired with

simply because they seem to be the next hot design area in the world of theater. Still, I found the rest of the musical beyond hysterical and definitely worthwhile. In part, this was because Drury Lane managed to put together an exceptionally talented cast, capable of pulling off multiple roles. King Arthur, played by Drury Lane veteran David Kortemaier, had a great voice and even better comedic timing. His awkward silences were only Used with permission from Drury Lane Theatre surpassed by Matthew Crowle, the genius playing Patsy, who sets that were exactly right for the production. is no newbie to “the silly land of Spam,” as he In fact, the only thing I really disliked was the refers to it in his biography. The number, “I am projections. While I appreciate that the film Not Dead Yet,” based on the famous scene of the has a distinct animated component that makes old man dying from the plague being put on the elaborate projections appropriate, aside from cart, features Not Dead Fred, played by Jackson the projection of “God” that was distinctly Gil- Evans. The song gives a preview of the energy he liam-esque, the rest of the images looked like exhibits consistently throughout the rest of the bad clip art. Even with so much potential for show as Prince Herbert, who is a stark contrast the projections to be an excellently integrated to his interpretation of the strict Historian. aspect, I was left feeling like they were there Most notable are the Lady of the Lake’s intense

vocals, which have her ping ponging between notes only dogs can hear and notes low enough to belong to your average baritone. In fact, parodying nearly every musical style imaginable, the ability to sing the score alone makes any Lady of the Lake wildly talented. A hilarious character that could easily be ruined by casting someone who can sing the insanely difficult role but not act, this production was able to avoid the tragedy with the truly awe-inspiring Gina Milo.  In all, the company, full of wonderful voices and incredible endurance through the dance number, help make this a production to see. The show runs through Mar. 6 and is definitely worth a weekend trip to north. Be aware, however, that word of this amazing show is spreading, and tickets are going fairly quickly. Make sure to plan ahead.



drury lane oakbrook terrace 100 Drury Lane, Oakbrook Terrace what: Spamalot when: Dec. 30 to Mar. 6 director: William Osetek TICKETS: $31 to $45 depending on night

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JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011





Krannert Uncorked with The Duke of Uke and His Novelty Orchestra // Marquee

Russian National Ballet Theatre


Russian National Ballet Theatre: Cinderella

Masha and Brent Trenhaile

Jane Bishop Hobgood

// Marquee



// Marquee

Somi Cecile and Ira Lebenson Anonymous



Dance for People with Parkinson’s


Mark Moore, tuba



// Marquee


// School of Music



MLK Culminating Community Event

// University of

Illinois Office of the Vice Chancellor for Public Engagement


Champaign-Urbana Symphony Orchestra: Classics II // CUSO




Global Transfer Afterglow: Trio Tarana

// Marquee

This presentation is supported by the Performing Arts Fund, a program of Arts Midwest funded by the National Endowment for the Arts, with additional contributions from the Illinois Arts Council, the General Mills Foundation, and the Land O’Lakes Foundation.

// Marquee

Global Transfer Afterglow: Trio Tarana WE JAN 26


Philipp Blume, composer

// School of Music

Pacifica Quartet Shostakovich Cycle Part 3 Jean and Howard Osborn David Sansone


Elizabeth and Edwin Goldwasser


Krannert Uncorked


Pre-concert Shostakovich Lecture


Pacifica Quartet Shostakovich Cycle Part 3

Gay and Donald Roberts

// School of Music and Marquee

Diana Sheets and Stephen Levinson

// Marquee // Marquee

Melanie Loots and George Gollin

Joy Thornton Walter and John Walter







C A L L 3 3 3 . 6 2 8 0 • 1. 8 0 0 . K C P A T I X

Corporate Power Train Team Engine

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council—a state agency that recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.


. 901

// Marquee


40 North and Krannert Center—working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.



   buzz   JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011


Our Favorite movies Airplane! (1980)

by Matt Carey


elcome to Our Favorite Movies, a running feature in which the Movies and TV Staff give their absolute favorite movies and what is so great about them. You never forget the first time you see your favorite movie. You are either thoroughly entranced throughout the running time or have a huge grin spread across your face. When the movie ends, you want to watch it again. Regardless of how many times you’ve seen it, there’s something new to find and appreciate. In your mind, the movie is flawless and any aspect that others criticize is simply part of the film’s charm. These describe my feelings toward my favorite movie of all time, Airplane! My undying adulation for Airplane! has gotten to the point where I laugh at every single joke in the damn movie, of which there are many. From the physical humor (when Captain Kramer fights off religious zealots without even the slightest provocation) to the dated references (a passenger laments that she feels more sick than the time she watched a movie with Ronald Reagan), I think it’s all brilliant. The story of Airplane!, lifted directly from the 1957 disaster film Zero Hour!, follows former

World War 2 pilot Ted Striker, now wallowing in dead-end jobs and yearning for stewardess Elaine Dickinson (Julie Hagerty). When Elaine and Ted end up on the same plane heading to Chicago, they are two of a small group that avoided food poisoning and must now land the plane safely. A lot of the brilliance of Airplane! is in the acting ensemble. Instead of hiring comedians, the writing directing team of Jim Abrahams, David Zucker and Jerry Zucker cast actors known for playing serious roles. Peter Graves, best know as the stoic Jim Phelps from the Mission: Impossible television show, plays the captain of the airplane who dabbles in pedophilia. Lloyd Bridges is a tower supervisor assigned to help out the passengers on the plane who harbors a drug addiction. And of course, Leslie Nielsen is a doctor on the flight, in what was his first comedic role after starring in dramatic fare like The Forbidden Planet or The Poseidon Adventure. Nielsen steals the show. Besides the iconic “And don’t call me Shirley,” Nielsen’s complete obliviousness to silliness around him is pitch perfect. The variety and sheer amount of gags means Airplane! improves on repeat viewings. Honestly,

I have probably watched the movie 100 times and I still find split second jokes that make me howl with laughter. Even if you do not find the movie funny, which is something I cannot possibly imagine unless you are a soulless, apathetic shrew, you have to admire the amount of jokes piled into a movie that is 80 minutes long. Personally, I watch Airplane! once a year (though I am sure my roommates would contest that it is more than that). The 1982 sequel is a massive disappointment, but the original will live on for years to come as something I and many others quote incessantly.

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SHOWTIMES 1/21 - 1/27

Titanic (1997)

by Katharine O’Brien


or ten years, Titanic was the highest grossing movie of all time. It played in theaters for a year because people kept going back to see it. I saw it four times in theaters, and I own multiple copies of the movie.

Used with permission from 20th Century Fox and Paramount Pictures

Titanic’s popularity stems from many factors, but it owes its broad appeal to its fantastic combination of romance and action. In some ways, Titanic is the perfect romantic movie. It’s like a chick flick, but there’s action and naked Kate Winslet for the guys. Still, it’s the romance at the heart of Titanic that takes it from disaster movie to epic movie. What would Titanic be, after all, without Kate and Leo standing at the bow of the ship pretending to fly? Celine Dion warbling “My Heart Will Go On” over the end credits? Jack and Rose doing it in the back of a fancy car? All of these romantic moments make it all the more tragic when the boat actually does sink. I don’t know a girl who doesn’t love this movie. Okay, I might know one, but overall, Titanic thrills every hopeless romantic. The chemistry between Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet probably has a lot to do with it. They take what could just be another sappy romance and make it believable, watchable and sexy. The fact that Titanic launched both of their careers just adds to its entertainment value 14 years after its release. It’s thrilling to watch the two leads fall in love. It’s tragic when he (spoiler alert) dies. Despite the seeming permanence of the end of their romance, they still manage to squeeze in a happy ending. There may be a greater romantic moment than watching Jack and Rose reunite and kiss as the deceased passengers cheer, but I don’t know what it is.

No passes S Stadium seating

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11:00, 11:30, 1:35, 2:05, 4:10, 4:40, 6:45, 7:15, 9:20, 9:50 FRI/SAT LS 11:55 S THE GREEN HORNET (PG-13) 12:00, 2:35, 5:10, 7:45 FRI/SAT LS 10:20 S THE KING’S SPEECH (R) 11:15, 1:50, 4:25, 7:00, 9:35 S COUNTRY STRONG (PG-13) 11:10, 1:40, 4:10, 6:40, 9:10 FRI/SAT LS 11:40 SEASON OF THE WITCH (PG-13) 12:45, 3:00, 5:15, 7:35, 9:55 FRI/SAT LS 12:00 GULLIVER’S TRAVELS (PG) FRI-TUE, TH 3:15, 9:45 FRI/SAT LS 11:50 WED 3:15 LITTLE FOCKERS (PG-13) 12:10, 2:35, 4:50, 7:10, 9:30 FRI/SAT LS 11:45 TRUE GRIT (PG-13) 11:20, 1:50, 4:20, 6:50, 9:20 FRI/SAT LS 11:50 S BLACK SWAN (R) 11:40, 2:05, 4:30, 6:55, 9:25 FRI/SAT LS 11:55 S 3D TRON: LEGACY (PG) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET 11:05, 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 10:00 YOGI BEAR (PG) FRI-TUE, TH 11:10, 1:15, 5:20, 7:20 WED 11:10, 1:15 THE FIGHTER (R) 11:15, 1:55, 4:35, 7:05, 9:40 TANGLED (PG) 11:20, 1:35, 4:05, 6:20, 8:40 FRI/SAT LS 11:00



JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011



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JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011 

a likely pair

by Sabrina Gosnell


ot just anyone can sing about happy cripples, infidelity, soul mates and Sarah Palin’s would-be son-in-law within a fortyfive minute span and pull it off; Ben Folds can and does. Indeed, not only does he manage to bring together seemingly disparate concepts with ease, but such real-world illustrations and, at times, irreverent candor have come to be expected of him. Already astonishingly down-to-earth, it is difficult to imagine that anything could make Folds more accessible. Yet his recent pairing with British novelist Nick Hornby to create the album Lonely Avenue has done exactly that. While the new record stays true to the sound that has become definitive of Folds, the words that listeners will find themselves singing nearly immediately are almost solely the work of Hornby. “Most of the time I didn’t revise the lyrics,” Folds said in an interview with buzz. “Most of them are completely untouched.” Hornby, author of such works as High Fidelity, About A Boy and An Education, writes in an average-person way that somehow brings brilliant animation to everyday life situations. His sometimes sarcastic and constantly captivating prose is perfectly congruent with the wry and raw story-telling that has come to be synonymous with Folds. While the album’s lyrics may have been penned primarily by Hornby, Lonely Avenue fits comfortably with Folds’ repertoire, dating all the way back to albums produced when he was with alt-rock group Ben Folds Five. Folds is invariably gritty and truthful in all of his work, often touching on life issues that many artists would refuse to brave. But this frankness is not necessarily a choice. Folds admits that he is dictated by the music itself. “I haven’t volunteered to write a song about any such honest, painful thing,” Folds said. “It’s just that when I start to unveil the meaning of the song, often it’s something that I didn’t kind of want to be talking about, but if I’m going to make the best song, I have to suck it up.” This does not mean that Folds’ work is brooding or melancholic. On the contrary, even his most poignant and emotional songs are tempered by an unmatched level of approachability. His liberal and adept use of instruments like piano and a syn-


Ben Folds Nick Hornby

buzz talks to Ben Folds about his upcoming show at Assembly Hall and his recent album with novelist Nick Hornby

thesizer make it impossible to mistake him for a folk singer. Yet his straightforward, nonchalant tone in addressing a multitude of issues in his songs seems to be almost enough to categorize him as such. Folds is witty, intelligent and extremely insightful, and he acknowledges that music is complex. “There’s all kinds of shades of subtlety in the ways that music and lyrics can work together,” Folds said. Music is symbolic about life, and life is about moving from one challenge to the next, Folds said. This recognition of the fluidity of life and music is part of what allows his live shows to each be so unique. On Jan. 25, Folds will be coming to Assembly Hall as part of a small Midwestern tour to promote the recent album. But he warns that the show will not only be about his most recent work.

Used with permission from Ben Folds

“This isn’t going to be, like, The Lonely Avenue Tour where it’s just all about the album,” Folds said. “I play whatever we feel like.” This show will feature opening act Street Corner Symphony, a group from NBC’s a cappella show The Sing Off. Folds has previously been a judge on the show and will return for the new season. Although Street Corner Symphony are the runners-up from the competition, Folds claims that the show has “transcended the competition,” and he said that it is paradoxical to think of music as a competition at all. “[Competition is] for the athletes,” Folds said. “Music is about sharing your ideas, making people happy and moving people.” But live music is about more than just that, he said: It is also about bras. “It just makes it all feel better to look up at a stage that has lots of bras on it,” Folds said.


Black Eyed Peas


The Beginning

I have to say that by now, the world should know that the Black Eyed Peas have probably officially turned from rap/R&B artists to hip-hop/electronic rock stars. Their most recent album, The Beginning, feels like a continuation of their previous album, The E.N.D. The first song on the album, “The Time (Dirty Bit),” works off the reverberations of “I Gotta Feeling,” and there are certain points in the song where the resemblance is uncanny. While the similarity to The E.N.D. might be a good thing, the songs on The Beginning are only of mediocre quality, with certain gems interspersed throughout the album. Three such gems are “XOXOXO,” “Whenever” and “Someday,” all containing feel-good beats and lyrics. Even though is producing most of the songs, the quality of the beats vary from good to boring. On the track, “The Best One Yet (The Boy),” it is obvious that David Guetta had a hand with the beats. As an album, The Beginning is decent, but the tracks feel like they’re just average, stereotypical pop songs with nothing unique about them. One thing that I noted was the excessive use of Auto-Tune and other digital voice-altering effects; it makes me wonder if the Peas have something to hide in regards to their real voices. —Jeremy Lin


Pains of Being Pure at Heart


Say No to Love

There is something much more difficult than being pure at heart, and that is waiting for another full-length release by The Pains of Being Pure at Heart. Since their self-titled LP in 2009, the shoegaze-y, dream-pop quartet has released four singles and a six-track EP, while their second LP taunts fans with a March 2011 release date. Their newest two-song single, “Say No to Love,” renders the wait all the more excruciating (in the best possible ways, of course). The band maintains their common theme of young-love anthems and an uncanny ability to conjure up some addictive, body-swaying sound waves, but they manage to set the two tracks apart from their former work significantly. While critics praised their self-titled album for its uniquely ambient sound, in which everything meshes together in a rush of reverb and distortion, this new album appears much cleaner and fuller while it still holds onto its charm and undeniable lovability. With a vibe that evokes flashbacks of adolescent summers and the harmless fun and mistakes that came with them, Say No to Love could easily fit into a ‘90s MTV cartoon like Daria, or even an episode of Pete and Pete. “Lost Saint” becomes that scene in a romantic comedy when the girl misunderstands a situation involving her almost-boyfriend, everyone fights, and a montage flashes on the screen that displays all of the characters in dimly-lit rooms silently staring out their windows at the rain pouring outside. But everyone in the audience knows that it’ll all be fine in the end, especially because The Pains of Being Pure at Heart’s new album, Belong, comes out in just a couple of months. — Adam Barnett buzz   


JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011 

Scathe as Clutch 1. Big News I 2. Big News II 3. Profits of Doom


The Great Cover Up XX

4. Mob Goes Wild 5. The Devil & Me 6. Mr. Shiny Cadillackness 7. Electric Worry 8. Regulator 9. Willie Nelson 10. Spacegrass

by Todd Hunter

Amy Mitchell as P!nk 1. Sober


ow 20 years old, The Great Cover Up is remarkable in its consistency. The day of the show, someone cancels. The show starts with half the audience not even in the room, and ends with the audience unable even to fit in the room. The headliner can make or break the whole night. On opening night this year, Jobu and LonelyTrailer were the unfortunate cancellations. Amy Mitchell, singer for 90s Daughter, rescheduled to opening night and portrayed P!nk with the assistance of two amazing breakdancers. Brother Embassy spares no expense for The Great Cover Up and this year dazzled as Rick James and Mary Jane Girls awash in glitter and metallic fabrics. Mike Ingram Band outdid itself again, and, rather than covering a single nostalgic act, recreated WPGU 107.1 circa 1998. Harvey Danger, Nada Surf, Sneaker Pimps, Everclear and Butthole Surfers are not technically onehit wonders, but none alone was ripe for tribute at The Great Cover Up. Mike Ingram Band tackled them all and also recreated Chris Lanuti’s radio show and Brandon T. Washington’s ad for the then-new Canopy Club. It may not have made sense to newcomers, but it came closer than any other set to recreating a bygone era, even with a wink and a nod. Welcome back, by the way, to bassist Rory Grennan, who completed Mike Ingram Band despite only recently having moved back from Los Angeles.

2. U + Ur Hand 3. Raise Your Glass 4. Get the Party Started

The Kilborn Alley Blues Band as Merle Haggard 1. Okie from Muskogee The full setlist was unavailable.

Brother Embassy as Rick James 1. Ghetto Life 2. Mary Jane 3. Give It to Me Baby 4. Super Freak

Curb Service as Jay-Z 1. 99 Problems 2. Medley: Izzo (H.O.V.A.)/Can I Get a…/Dirt Off Your Shoulder 3. Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem) 4. Empire State of Mind (feat. Alicia Keys)

Mike Ingram Band as The Planet 1. Flagpole Sitta [Harvey Danger] 2. Popular [Nada Surf] 3. 6 Underground (Nellee Hooper Edit) [Sneaker Pimps] 4. Santa Monica (Watch the World Die) [Everclear] 5. Pepper [Butthole Surfers] 16


JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011 

Photos by Claire Keating (CK) and Ramzi Dreessen (RD)



JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011




Or, how to “be good” in bed

ex and ethics. For many of us, we have received a code of morals or values applied to sexuality — these were the rigid and limiting messages that may have discouraged us from sexual pleasure because it was seen as wrong, shameful or harmful. As we grow up, we may begin to view our sexual desires in different ways, as something normal and healthy. Does feeling okay about our sexual desires mean that we don’t have to worry about being ethical? Doin’ It Well says: No! Sexual liberation isn’t a very clear term. For many folks, it means being “freed” from a repressive sexual relationship or way of thinking about sex. In his book essay Sexual Freedom and Sexual Justice, John Stoltenberg says that freedom can’t exist before we have justice; for us to be liberated, he says, requires a system of fairness and respect. But sometimes when we are “sexually liberated,” we may feel like we can behave however we want without consequence. In fact, we may even feel justified in the ways we could hurt relationships in the name of our “freedom.” We don’t think that being sexually fulfilled and being ethical need to be mutually exclusive. Being ethical, for our purposes, has a few dimensions, mostly based around honesty and trust. First, being sexually ethical means being honest about your sexual desires and behaviors with yourself and your sexual partners. Second, ethical

sex means that you’re safe for yourself and your partners. Let’s look at what that might mean. STOP THE LIES

Supporters of polyamory — that is, multiple relationships at one time with the consent of all involved — often point out that monogamy with one partner for life is not the norm. Many people may be in relationships — sexual or emotional — with more than one person at some point in their lives, and most people have more than one sexual partner over their lifetime. From the work of these folks, we have some amazing thought on how to have our own sexual pleasure while doing the right thing. Cheating occurs when someone is pursuing a relationship without the knowledge or consent of their exclusive partner. Relationships are often agreements and “promises” with one another. When we’re in a relationship with another person — unless otherwise defined — we are often committing some part of ourselves to that relationship, which can mean an implied monogamy. Definitely, the concept of a “relationship” can be on a continuum, from the “relationship” of a onenight stand to the relationship of a monogamous life-long partnership. Respecting our partners and the “agreement” means that we have to be honest with all of our partners. For some partners, being

honest may mean parting ways, or it might lead to conversations that strengthen the relationship. Being honest with our partners might first mean we have to be honest with ourselves about our sexual desires and behaviors. Because our sexual desires could be seen as shameful or wrong, we might try to ignore or deny them. When we do this, though, we may also cut off our own selfawareness to our feelings, and act out in other ways. We don’t want to make this kind of selfinsight seem easy; it isn’t. But it’s some of the work we all have to do to be ethical in bed. SAFE WORDS

Being sexually ethical means also respecting that other people may have different sexual boundaries than our own, and that’s okay. Just because we choose to be sexual in certain ways doesn’t mean that other people need to also. So we might want an open relationship, but if our partner does not want an open relationship, we don’t automatically win in the name of “freedom.” Respecting other people, for us, also extends to practicing safe sex, like reducing the risk of pregnancy and STDs by using condoms and being honest about our sexual histories. Because of the complex messages about what “good sex” looks like, we might believe that we have the right to degrade our partners for our own sexual pleasure. Or we might feel like our sexual

pleasure is most important. Doin’ It Well believes that being ethical also means we treat each other with respect to how they would like to be treated. If it is consensual, it means we have to talk about it first. This will mean negotiating together how to best meet all partners’ needs, but it also means sex that is respectful of all partners’ humanity. And that’s the sex we like! I-BLOCK UPDATE

Local adult bookstore and cruise spot Holiday Video/I-Block has officially closed. Signs are up in the window that say “Closed Permanently.” Thanks to our intrepid reader for pointing this out. Alas, poor I-Block ... Jo and Ross honestly want to hear from you. Send them your questions to

SEX 411

Sexual Ethic Resources » Check out the Easton & Liszt book The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, & Other Adventures (2nd Edition, 2009), which offers a more thorough discussion of sexual pleasure and ethics.

Ends January 31st

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JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011

Complete listing available at

SUBMIT YOUR EVENT TO THE CALENDAR: Online: forms available at • E-mail: send your notice to • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar


Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

THURSDAY 20 live music Jazz in the Courtyard Illini Union, U, 12pm TwoYou Duo The Clark Bar, C, 7pm Billy Galt and Jeff Kerr AnSun, C, 7pm U of I #1 Jazz Big Band Iron Post, U, 7pm Back To School Special with Mathein Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $5

dj Milk and Cookies at Klub Kam’s Kam’s, C, 8pm DJ BJ Dance Night Po’ Boys, U, 8pm Here Come the Regulars Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm Stitches at The Clark Bar The Clark Bar, C, 10pm DJ Luniks Firehaus, C, 10pm, $5 Open Deck Night Radio Maria, C, 10pm

dance music Hip Hop Free Style Competition Illini Union, U, 8pm Swing Dance Illini Union, U, 9pm

concert Somi Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, U, 7:30pm, $10-$30

karaoke DJ Bange Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 8:30pm RockStarz Karaoke — Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 9pm Liquid Courage Karaoke Memphis on Main, C, 9pm RockStarz Karaoke — Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Bentley’s Pub, C, 10pm

stage Russian National Ballet Theatre: Cinderella Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, U, 7pm, $10-$39 Outside The Box Parkland College Theatre, C, 7:30pm, $8 Call 351-2528 to reserve

Jupiter’s Comedy Club Jupiter’s II, C, 8pm



kids & families

Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 Core Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 12pm, $12 Hot Yoga Evolve Fitness Club, C, 12pm, $10 Yoga for Wellness BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 2:30pm, $14 Ashtanga Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30pm, $12 Experienced Beginner BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 5:45pm, $14 Prerequisite: Introduction to Asana Yin Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 7pm, $12

RockStarz Karaoke — Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 9pm Karaoke at Po’ Boys Po’ Boys, U, 9pm

Music and Motion Class Act, C, 9:30am, $48 Ages newborn-5 (with a parent or caregiver) ArtsFusion Level I Class Act, C, 10:00 am, $72 Ages 2 1/2-5 (with a parent or caregiver) Tales for Twos Douglass Branch Library, C, 10:30am Fairytale Fridays Class Act, C, 3:45pm, $140 Ages 5-8

Grass Roots Revival Strawberry Fields (Deli), U, 5pm sporting event Happy Hour Show with Dan Hubbard Illini Women’s Basketball Memphis on Main, C, 6pm vs. Ohio State Live Jazz with Panache Assembly Hall, C, 7pm Jim Gould Restaurant, C, lectures 7pm Jeff Autry and Shad Cobb Language Processing Home of Dannie Otto and Brown Bag Seminar: Barbara Shenk, U, 7:30pm What Do Words Do? The Leadership, The Beckman Institute, U, Saturday Giant, Great 12:30pm Life, Hemmingbirds and Fireside Chat with OrGrandkids estes “Minnie” Minoso, Red Herring Coffeehouse, Fernando Perez and U, 8pm, $3 Bernardo Ruiz Doors open at 7:30pm Alice Campbell Alumni The Impalas featuring Center, U, 7pm Dawna Nelson recreation Memphis on Main, C, 8pm Joni Dreyer, Bob Watson Lunch Time Skate and Bill Hecht Ice Arena, C, 11:15am, Huber’s West End Store, $4-$5 faith C, 8pm campus activities The Martyrs Moms and Grandmas Highdive, C, 8pm, $10 Group Let’s Talk About Sex! University Baptist Church, Doors open at 7pm Sexual Communication Indi Go Concert Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and C, 12pm Testament of Christ Bible Indi Go Artist Co-op, C, Transgender Resources, 8pm, $3 Study U, 12pm Corn Desert Ramblers McKinley Presbyterian Nintendo Wii Iron Post, U, 9pm Church and Foundation, Illini Union, U, 1pm Caleb Cook and Friends C, 6pm volunteer Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm Undergrad Bible Study University Baptist Church, Charles Walker Band Youth Day of Service: Bentley’s Pub, C, 9pm C, 8:30pm Wesley Evening Food 90’s Daughter Pantry Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm, Wesley-United Methodist wpgu $5 Church & Wesley Founda- WPGU Presents: The tion, U, 3pm Great Cover Up dj Email meriveria@illinois. Highdive, C, 9pm, $7 edu to learn more DJ Tommy Williams miscellaneous Chester Street, C, 9pm, $3 kids & families DJ Mella D Yarn ‘n Yak Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm Rantoul Public Library, Preschool Story Time DJ Cal Emmerich Rantoul, 7pm Rantoul Public Library, Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm Rantoul, 10am classes & workshops DJ Delayney Baby Time Douglass Branch Library, C, Group Fitness Free Week Highdive, C, 10:30pm, $5 10:30am, Up to age 2 Activities and Recreation dance music Games Galore Center (ARC), C Champaign Public Library, Restorative Circles Presen- Urbana Country Dancers C, 3pm tation and Practice Group Contra Dance Creative Movement for Champaign Public Library, Phillips Recreation Center, Young People C, 6:30pm U, 8pm, $4-$5 Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Intro Tango Lesson New dancer orientation at 3:30pm, $72 Phillips Recreation Center, 7:30pm Ages 6-10 U, 8:30pm, $7-$12 D.J. Dance Party ARTfusion Canopy Club, U, 10pm food & drink Douglass Branch Library, concert C, 4pm Krannert Uncorked Krannert Center for the Somi community Performing Arts, U, 5pm Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, U, IMC Shows Group Meet7:30pm, $10-$30 ing: Community Booking FRIDAY 21 Mark Moore Collective live music Krannert Center for the Urbana-Champaign InPerforming Arts, U, dependent Media Center, Jeff Helgesen Quintet 7:30pm, $4-$10 U, 7pm Iron Post, U, 5pm

stage Outside The Box Parkland College Theatre, C, 7:30pm, $8 Call 351-2528 to reserve Comedy at the Canopy Canopy Club, U, 7pm, $5

auditions Open Auditions: Hello, Dolly! Busey Center, U, 7pm Call 344-3884 to schedule a spot

sporting event Illini Classic Armory, C, 4pm Illini Wrestling vs. SIUE Huff Hall, C, 7pm Illini Hockey vs. Wisconsin Ice Arena, C, 7:30pm, $6-$8 Gates open at 6:30pm

museum exhibit Winter Prairie Skies William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 7pm Secrets of the Sun William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 8pm

recreation Lunch Time Skate Ice Arena, C, 11:15am, $4-$5 Freestyle Ice Arena, C, 9am Adult Rat Hockey Ice Arena, C, 3:15pm, $6-$9 Call 333-2212 to register Stick and Puck Beginner Hockey Ice Arena, C, 5pm, $6-$9 Open Gym Volleyball Champaign County Brookens Administration Center, U, 5:30pm, $1 Photo ID required for admission Illinites Illini Union, U, 9pm

campus activities Nintendo Wii Illini Union, U, 1pm


Matt Poss Memphis on Main, C, 8pm New Riders of the Golden Maize Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm Billy Galt and Jeff Kerr Bentley’s Pub, C, 9pm XXX Smut, The Soy City Stranglers and Crane and Badger Phoenix, C, 9pm, $5 The Life And Times Cowboy Monkey, C, 9:30pm, $7 Global Transfer Afterglow: Trio Tarana Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, U, 9:30pm

Friday Films: Notes on a Scandal Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and dj Transgender Resources, U, 2pm DJ Randall Ellison Chester Street, C, 9pm, mind/body/spirit $3 Vinyasa Krama Yoga with DJ Space Police Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm Don Briskin DJ Luniks Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Highdive, C, 10:30pm, 4pm, $12 $5


dance music Friday Night Live Champaign-Urbana Jewish D.J. Dance Party Federation, C, 6:45pm Canopy Club, U, 10pm Tango Newcomer Party classes & workshops Phillips Recreation Center, Group Fitness Free Week U, 7:30 pm, $7-$12 Salsa Night with DJ Dr. J Activities and Recreation Radio Maria, C, 10pm Center (ARC), C Dance for Parkinson’s concert Disease Krannert Center for the Somi Performing Arts, U, Krannert Center for the 10am Performing Arts, U, Text Collage 7:30pm, $10-$30 Shared Space: An Artist Champaign-Urbana Co-op , U, 6:15pm, $25 Symphony Orchestra: Classics II Krannert Center for the SATURDAY 22 Performing Arts, U, live music 7:30pm, $5-$31 Pre-show discussion at Live Jazz with Panache 6:30pm Jim Gould Restaurant, C, 7pm karaoke The Martyrs Highdive, C, 8pm, $10 RockStarz Karaoke — Doors open at 7pm Presented by Seize A Mikael Templeton Moment Productions Quintet Senator’s Bar & Grill, SaIron Post, U, 5pm voy, 9pm Amy Mitchell Trio RockStarz Karaoke — Boomerang, U, 8pm Presented by Seize A Susan Williams Band Moment Productions Huber’s West End Store, Boomerang, U, 9pm C, 8pm Jet W. Lee with The Fresh movies Kills, Molehill and Palace The Edge of Dreaming Flophouse Unitarian Universalist Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, Movement of Urbana8pm Champaign, U, 7pm

stage Outside The Box Parkland College Theatre, C, 7:30pm, $8 Call 351-2528 to reserve The Bolshoi Ballet’s Flames of Paris The Art Theater, C, 12pm, $13.50-$15 Break Dancing Competition Illini Union, U, 8pm, $2-$4

auditions Open Auditions: Hello, Dolly! Busey Center, U, 12pm Call 344-3884 to reserve a spot

sporting event Illini Classic Armory, C, 3pm Illini Hockey vs. Wisconsin Ice Arena, C, 7:30pm, $6-$8 Gates open at 6:30pm Illini Men’s Basketball vs. Ohio State Assembly Hall, C, 11am Illini Women’s Tennis vs. Notre Dame Atkins Tennis Center, U, 12pm

art A Simple Gaze Closing Reception Indi Go Artist Co-op, C, 8pm

museum exhibit Secrets of the Sun William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 8pm Solar System Safari William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 7pm

recreation Freestyle Ice Arena, C, 12pm Public Skate Ice Arena, C, 1:30pm, $4-$5

game-playing Central High School Trivia Night Faith United Methodist Church, C, 6pm, $160

volunteer Reaching Out To Homeless Women First United Methodist Church of Champaign, C Call 356-9078 for more information



JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011 

kids & families Early Childhood Drama Class Act, C, 9:30am, $66 Ages 3-5 Kids Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 10:30am, $72 Ages 4-11 KidProv Class Act, C, 10:30am, $35-$90 Ages 8-10 Kids Arts and Crafts Playshop Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 11:15am, $96 Ages 4-11 ArtsFusion/Music and Motion Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 11:30am, $48 Ages infant-5 accompanied by a parent or caregiver Improv Class Act, C, 12:15pm, $35-$90 Ages 11-13 DIY Weekend Wizard Orpheum Children’s Science Museum, C, 1pm Meet the Players: Illini Women’s Basketball Champaign Public Library, C, 2pm

community MLK Culminating Community Event Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, U, 10am

mind/body/spirit Yoga Fundamentals Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 9am, $12 8-week Winter Session: Get Fit and Flexible BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 11:30am, $14 Kripalu Yoga: Meditation in Motion Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 2pm, $12 Saturday Power Flow with Corrie Proksa Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12

faith Torah Study Sinai Temple, C, 9am TGIS (Thank God It’s Shabbat) Chabad Center for Jewish Life, C, 10am

classes & workshops Group Fitness Free Week Activities and Recreation Center (ARC), C Life Map Workshop McKinley Presbyterian Church and Foundation, C, 9am 20


Eating Healthy on a Budget Common Ground Food Coop, U, 1pm, Pre-registration is required Billboard Bracelets and Baskets The I.D.E.A. Store, C, 1pm, $20 Ages 10 and up. Class size is limited to 8 participants


Dark Star Orchestra Canopy Club, U, 8pm, $20 Big Dave’s Trivia Night Cowboy Monkey, C, 7pm dj Trivia Night The Blind Pig Brewery, C, 7pm DJ Randall Ellison Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 literary ‘80s Night with DJ Mingram UFL Reads: American Highdive, C, 10pm Classics We Missed Urbana Free Library, U, 2pm Call 367-4405 to reserve karaoke a copy of the book Sunday 23 RockStarz Karaoke — Presented by Seize A live music social issues Moment Productions Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 10pm In Concert at CPL: The AWARE Meeting Duke of Uke McKinley Presbyterian Champaign Public Library, Church and Foundation, C, stage C, 2pm 5:15pm Monday Night Comedy Live Irish Music with Illini Union, U, 7pm kids & families Emerald Rum Abe Froman Project Blind Pig Co., The, C, 5:30pm Open Gym Basketball Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 9pm Foghorn Stringband with Champaign County lectures the Dustbusters Brookens Administration Urbana-Champaign Inde- Center, U, 1pm, $1 Theoretical and Computapendent Media Center, U, Photo ID required for ad- tional Biophysics Seminar 7pm, $10-$12 mission Beckman Institute, U, 3pm

dance music



English Country Dancing Phillips Recreation Center, U, 2pm, $2 Showtune Sunday Emerald City Lounge, C, 4pm

Slow Flow Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 2pm, $12 Hatha Flow Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12 Prenatal Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30pm, $12

Lunch Time Skate Ice Arena, C, 11:15am, $4-$5 Freestyle Ice Arena, C, 4:30pm

stage The Bolshoi Ballet’s Flames of Paris The Art Theater, C, 12pm, $13.50-$15 Open Stage at Red Herring Red Herring Coffeehouse, U, 7:30pm Drag Show Chester Street, C, 10pm, $4


miscellaneous FriendShop Used Book Store Open Champaign Public Library, C, 1:30pm

classes & workshops

Group Fitness Free Week Activities and Recreation Center (ARC), C Salsa Dance Lessons: Beginners Capoeira Academy, C, 6pm, $5 sporting event Salsa Dance Lessons: Illini Women’s Tennis vs. Intermediate/Advanced Capoeira Academy, C, Tennessee Atkins Tennis Center, U, 12pm 7:30pm, $5 Illini Wrestling vs. Minfood & drink nesota Huff Hall, C, 1pm Sunday Brunch with a Diva Emerald City Lounge, C, recreation 10am, $9 Call 398-8661 to reserve Freestyle Sandy’s Bagel Brunch and Ice Arena, C, 4:15pm Games Public Skate The Hillel Foundation -- The Ice Arena, C, 1:30pm, Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen $4-$5 Center for Jewish Life, C, campus activities 11am M and M: Midrash and Meal Monday 24 The Hillel Foundation — live music The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Jesse Johnson Life, C, 6pm Illini Union, U, 12pm Open Auditions: Hello, Dolly! Busey Center, U, 12pm Call 344-3884 to reserve a spot

campus activities Nintendo Wii Illini Union, U, 1pm Living LEAN Class Illini Union, U, 3pm Registration is required Gays On Ice Ice Arena, C, 10pm

game-playing Duplicate Bridge Game Ginger Creek Shops, C, 7pm Bingo Night Memphis on Main, C, 8pm

kids & families O Baby! Champaign Public Library, C, 9:45am Up to age 2 Interactive Music for Infants, Toddlers and Preschoolers Class Act, C, 11:30am, $50 Ages 2-5 Family Reading Night Douglass Branch Library, C, 6:30pm

mind/body/spirit Yoga Fundamentals Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 12pm, $12 Introduction to Yoga BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 6am, 6pm Hatha Flow Yoga with Grace Giorgio Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12

buz z ’s WEEK AHEAD Comedy at the Canopy Canopy Club

708 S. Goodwin Ave. , U. 7 - 9 p.m. Friday, Jan. 21, 2011 $5

Welcome back, fellow students. Wanna have laughs? Chuckles? Chortles? Canopy Club is hosting a comedy night which will feature funny stuff happening right before your very eyes. Personally, I hope Gallagher shows up. — Matt Carey, Movies & TV Editor

Billboard Bracelets and Baskets The I.D.E.A. Store

28 E. Springfield Ave., 2nd floor, C.

Saturday, Jan. 22

1 - 3 p.m.


In need of a basket or bracelet? Well, you can learn to make both using advertising billboard vinyl at the I.D.E.A. store this Saturday. The class size is limited to eight, so make sure to call as soon as possible if you’re interested. Everything is provided, so all you need to do is show up and have fun! — Lauren Hise, Arts & Entertainment Editor

Russian National Ballet performing Cinderella Krannert Center for the Performing Arts Thursday, Jan. 20 7 - 8:45 p.m. $10 - $39 I think the ballet versions of fairy tales sound like they should be whimsical and light, perfect for small girls in pink dresses. Instead, they are usually creepy and dark and awesome! So I try to make it to as many of these performances as possible. Not to mention it’s the Russian National Ballet all the way in CU, so I want to make a good Midwestern showing for these folks. — Jeanine Russell, Food & Drink Editor Hatha Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30pm, $12 Get Fit and Flexible at the Yoga Institute BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 6pm, $14 Restorative Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 7pm, $12 Yoga St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church and Campus Center, C, 7pm Prana Flow Yoga Living Yoga Center, U, 7:15pm, $15

Tuesday 25


8th Grade Dance Joe’s Brewery, C, 11pm

Tarot Reader Boltini Lounge, C, 7pm

classes & workshops Solo Latin Dance Phillips Recreation Center, U, 6pm, $22 MELD: Monday Evening Life Drawing Group McGown Photography, C, 7pm, $7 Poetry Workshop Red Herring Coffeehouse, U, 7:30pm Bring 10 copies of your poem Top Rope Belay Endorsement Clinic ARC, C, 9pm, $30-$40

live music Alec Stern Illini Union, U, 12pm Andy Moreillon Fat City Bar & Grill, C, 7pm Craig Gaskin and Friends Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 7:30pm The Piano Man Canopy Club, U, 9pm Tuesday Night Troubadours Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm

dance music


Dragon Karaoke The Clark Bar, C, 9pm

open mic Open Mic: Anything Goes Memphis on Main, C, 8pm Open Mic Tuesdays Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

art A Call to Arts: Open Critiques Figure One Gallery, C, 7pm

recreation Lunch Time Skate Ice Arena, C, 11:15am, $4-$5

Ben Folds: Lonely Avenue campus activities Tour Assembly Hall, C, 7:30pm, Nintendo Wii $7-$32 Illini Union, U, 1pm Living LEAN Class karaoke Illini Union, U, 3pm Registration is required RockStarz Karaoke Revive, Restore, Relax: -- Presented by Seize A Weston Wellness Moment Productions Weston Residence Hall, Bentley’s Pub, C, 10pm C, 3pm RockStarz Karaoke Alpha Kappa Delta Phi -- Presented by Seize A Rush Event Moment Productions The Corner Tavern, Monti- Asian American Cultural Center, U, 7pm cello, 8pm

game-playing Role-playing Games Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 6:30pm For high school and up T-N-T Tuesday Night Trivia with Cara and Tanino Boltini Lounge, C, 7pm

literary Between the Lines Book Discussion Group Champaign Public Library, C, 7pm

kids & families Early Childhood Drama Class Act, C, 3pm, $66 Ages 3-5 Tuesday Twos Champaign Public Library, C, 9:45am, 10:15am, 10:45am Creative Movement for Young People Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 10am, $72 Ages 3-5 Fairytale Ballet Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 12:15pm, $72 Ages 4-11 Walk-in Storytime and Creative Play Class Act, C, 2pm, $2   JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011

I would have never guessed.

Wave Club Readers Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 4:00 pm Junior high kids (Grades 6-9 in the fall) Story Drama Class Act, C, 4:00 pm, $66 Ages 5-8 Goodnight Storyshop Champaign Public Library, C, 6:30pm, Ages 2-5

lgbt Rainbow Coffeehouse Etc. Coffee House, U, 6pm eQuality ChampaignUrbana meeting Wesley-United Methodist Church & Wesley Foundation, U, 7pm

community Locals’ Night Po’ Boys, U, 4pm

mind/body/spirit Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 Hot Yoga Evolve Fitness Club, C, 12pm, $10 Ashtanga Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 7pm, $12

Experienced Beginner BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 7:30pm, $14 Prerequisite: Introduction to Asana Hatha Flow Yoga with Maggie Taylor Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 12pm, $12 Introduction to Yoga BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 7:30pm Awakening Yoga and Playtime for Kids with Kate Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 9am, $12 Advanced Asana/ Pranayama BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 5:15pm, $14 Prerequisite: Continuing Asana Slow Flow Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30pm, $12 Introduction to Meditation Ananda Liina Yoga & Meditation Center, U, 7:30pm

faith Grad Students and Professionals Weekly Fellowship Lunch University Baptist Church, C, 11:30am


Moment Productions Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 9pm RockStarz Karaoke — Presented by Seize A Moment Productions classes & workshops dj Route 45 Wayside, Pesotum, 8pm Adult Pottery Class DJ Tommy Williams Boneyard Pottery, C, 9am, Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 SuperStar Karaoke AnSun, C, 9pm 6:30pm, $25 DJ Randall Ellison RockStarz Karaoke — Call 355-5610 to regBoltini Lounge, C, 9pm Presented by Seize A ister Old School Night Moment Productions Healthy New Year, Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm Fat City Bar & Grill, C, Healthy New You Wompdown WednesActivities and Recreation days: Chalice Mug Night! 10pm RockStarz Karaoke — Center (ARC), C, 12pm, $10 Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $1 Presented by Seize A Jewish Studies Workshop I Love The ‘90s with DJ Moment Productions English Building, U, 4pm Mingram Real Computing Help Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm Geovanti’s, C, 10pm Douglass Branch Library, dance music open mic C, 6pm Life Coaching for a New Tango Dancing Open Mic Comedy Night Year Cowboy Monkey, C, 8pm Memphis on Main, C, 9pm Shared Space: An Artist Salsa and Tango Dancing lectures Co-op , U, 6pm, $25 Cowboy Monkey, C, 8pm Registration is necessary BI Directors Seminar concert Belly Dance 101 Beckman Institute, U, 12pm Phillips Recreation Center, Philipp Blume recreation U, 6pm, $22 Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, U, Lunch Time Skate 7:30pm, $4-$10 Ice Arena, C, 11:15am, Wednesday 26 $4-$5 live music karaoke Freestyle Ice Arena, C, 6am Donnie Heitler: Solo Piano RockStarz Karaoke — Public Skate Great Impasta, U, 6pm Presented by Seize A Knit Happens: Workshop and Community Knitting Circle Espresso Royale, U, 4pm

Live Irish Music Bentley’s Pub, C, 7pm Caleb Cook Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm

kids & families

Ice Arena, C, 7:30pm, $4-$5

campus activities Nintendo Wii Illini Union, U, 1pm Living LEAN Class Illini Union, U, 3pm Registration is required Alpha Kappa Delta Phi Rush Event Asian American Cultural Center, U, 7pm Weekday Orthodox Minyan and Breakfast The Hillel Foundation — The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 7:30am Lunch ‘n Learn Illini Union, U, 1pm Coming Out Support Group Illini Union, U, 7pm

Improv Class Act, C, 5pm, $35-$90 Ages 11-13 Wrestling Fan Club Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 4pm 5th Grade and up


Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 Core Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 12pm, $12 Yoga Fundamentals Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12 Introduction to Yoga BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 3:45pm Astanga Yoga Living Yoga Center, U, 9am, $15 game-playing Asana for Women BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute Pokemon Fan Club of C-U, U, 9:15am, $14 Rantoul Public Library, Wellness Wednesday Rantoul, 5:30pm Activities and Recreation CU64 Chess Club Center (ARC), C, 5:15pm McKinley Presbyterian Yoga Class Every Church and Foundation, Wednesday C, 7pm Ananda Liina Yoga & MedBingo Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 9:30pm itation Center, U, 5:30pm

Hatha Flow Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:45pm, $12 Candlelight Wednesdays with Luna Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 7pm, $12 Yoga For Men BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 7:15pm, $14

faith Grad Students and Professionals Bible Study University Baptist Church, C, 7pm Bible and Brew St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church and Campus Center, C, 8pm

miscellaneous Cafe Ivrit Espresso Royale, U, 7pm Email nfriedm2@illinois. edu for more information

classes & workshops Improv Workout Class Act, C, 6:30pm, $10 Call 766-5964 to reserve


Get out. Sound off. Champaign-Urbana.



Classifieds Place an Ad: 217 - 337 - 8337 Deadline: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition. Inde x Employment 000 Services 100 Merchandise 200 Transportation 300 Apartments 400 Other Housing/Rent 500 Real Estate for Sale 600 Things To Do 700 Announcements 800 Personals 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.


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January 20 - 26, 2011




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2 BEDROOM CAMPUS Available August From $785/month. Include most utilities. 217-367-6626


604 E. White, Champaign Security Entrance For Fall 2011, Large studio, 1, 2 bedroom, Loft Apartment. Furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182



Old Town Champaign 510 S. Elm, C. Available Fall 2011. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, laundry on-site, W/D, central air/heat, off-street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. Value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

203 S. Sixth, C. Fall 2011 From $785. Parking, heat, hot water, cable, internet included. 217-3676626.




January Leases Efficiency 1-2-3 Bedrooms 309 South First The University Group 352-3182

1006 S. 3rd, Champaign HUGE Fall 2011 1 and 2 bedrooms. Location, location. 3 level apartments. Hardwood floors, covered parking, laundry, furnished, patios. Value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

NEW KITCHENS 307 - 309 - Healy Court 2+3 Bedrooms Starting at $343 per person

theuniversity 309 S. First, C.

group 217-352-3182

NEW KITCHENS 503 - 505 - 508 White 2 Bedroom with den $790 3 Bedroom $830-950



2 full baths Contact Justin at 618-304-8562

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Daniel St. Lofts NOW LEASING itchens New KBig! Flat Screen T.V. 4-Bedroom / 2-Bath Mardi Gras Balconies 217-352-3182

For Fall 2011. Large 4 bedrooms, 2 bath. Balconies, laundry, covered parking. Starting at $300/person. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182



Corner of Fourth and University Gorgeous 2 Bedroom Apartments. Now Leasing for Fall 2011. Brand new, energy efficient, fully furnished, new appliances. Only $499/person!

906-908 S. Locust, Ch. Efficiencies/$440 1 bedroom/$530-595 Quiet location, parking $40/month 217-367-2009


The 510 New 420 HOUSES FOR RENT

506 E. Stoughton, Champaign For Fall 2011. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

John Street Apartments 58 E. John, C. Fall 2011. Studio, two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwasher, center courtyard, onsite laundry, central air, parking. Starting at $298/person. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

Across 1 Progress too slowly 509 Bash Court, C. 4 Joe Btfsplkʼs Fall 2011 Great 3 and 5 bedrooms, near 6th creator and Green. Fully furnished, dish1005 S. Second, washers, laundry. Off-street parking. Starting at $330/person. Office at 8 Effective Champaign 309 S. First, C. Fall 2011 studio and 4 bedroom salesman 602 E. Stoughton, C THE UNIVERSITY GROUP penthouse. Secured building. Private parking, laundry on-site. Value Fall 2011. Unique 1 & 2 bedroom Tavern apartments. All furnished, laundry, 14 pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. 352-3182 internet. 2 Bedrooms starting at THE UNIVERSITY GROUP $387/person. Parking available. 16 Micro wave? 705 W. Stoughton, U Must see! 352-3182 Fall 2011 THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 17 Popular name 3 bedroom apartment. Spacious ing area. Communal balcony & great for tolnaftate 352-3182 509 E. White, C. backyard. Plus a bar area in kitchen, dishwasher, washer/dryer in each Fall 2011. Large Studio and 1 18 Things holding 207/211 John C. unit, value pricing. bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, 2, 4 Bedrooms. Great Location, onpatios,up furnished. Laundry, off-street THE UNIVERSITY GROUP the works? site laundry, parking. 4 Bedroom parking, value pricing. Office at 309 with leather furniture plus flat screen S. First, Champaign 352-3182 19THE Image thatGROUP stays TV. Value pricing. UNIVERSITY Office at 309 S. First C. with you 411 HEALEY, THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182 Champaign 20 Traffic reporter, 352-3182 Best Location - Fall 2011 Spacious 3 and 4 bedroom apts. you might say 430 APARTMENTS Fully furnished, dishwasher, laundry, 104 E. Armory, C. Unfurnished leather furniture, flat-screen TV and Fall 2011. Location!! 4 bedroom, 2 22 TV show whose value pricing. Covered parking. bath. Some skylights and flat screen Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. opening music is TVs. Covered Parking. Laundry. 800 W. Church, C First, C. Starting at $375/person. Office at Now Available Economical 2BR, the Whoʼs “Who THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 309 S. First, C. $490/mo central Champaign location THE UNIVERSITY GROUP convenient shopping/transportaAre toYou” tion. Call 217-352-8540 for showing and viewing at 352-3182 705 S. FIRST, CH 23 Where Alfred 3 bedroom/$1025 Krupp was born 307, 310 E. White, C 4 bedroom/$1350-1450 515 W. Washington, Champaign Parking $40/month, furnished 307, 309 Clark, C BR Now Available.flier $420/mo. 241 Near Frequent Fall 2011. Large studio, double closdowntown Champaign. 217-367-2009 et, well furnished. Starting from Call 217-352-8540 for an appoint25 What an only $360/mo. Behind County Market. Ofment or view at fice at 309 S. First, C. 509 Stoughton, C child lacks THE UNIVERSITY GROUP Fall 2011 Near Grainger, spacious studios and 26 Lump in oneʼs 352-3182 2 bedrooms, laundry, value pricing, SUBLETS 440 parking. throat? THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182


306-308-309 White, C Fall 2011. Furnished studios, 1, 2, and 3 bedrooms. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking. Behind County Market. Starting at $265/person. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

111 E. Chalmers, Champaign

Fall 2011 studio and 1 and 4 bedrooms. Leather furniture, skylights, off-street parking, laundry. Starting at $385/person. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

605 S. Fifth, C. Fall 2011 5th and Green location Outdoor activity area. 1, 2, and 3 bedrooms available. Garage offstreet parking, laundry, and value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

203 Healey, Champaign Fall 2011. Great location on the park. Private balconies. Fully furnished 3 bedrooms. Parking, laundry, value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182 

Yor 500 Seve Campus Houses on buslines. 3 Nice large bedrooms. Kitchen, living room, bas- For In ement. With parking. $600/mo. 217For Re 356-0345

FALL 2011 Campus Houses 10, 11 Bedrooms $330/person 367-6626 Fall 2011 4 Bedroom, 2 Bath, $330/bedroom. Campus Houses. Washer/dryer. 217-367-6626.

28 “The 204 N. Lincoln, Urbana 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath house with loft, Cryptogram” deck, furnished, free parking and laundry. $500/br1995 playwright, Call Andy 309-310-2059 29 Noisy vehicles ROOMS 530 32 Meeting in which one person is Campus. Large nice furnished room in house on $260/mo with anxious leave parking free. 217-356-0345. 33 Staples of old police See the winnerswork of 34 PayPal Thetransactions, best of CU @ e.g. THE217.COM 35 Lock 36 Welsh word in a Pennsylvania college name Still Looking for an 37 Held back 38 “IApartment? Just Canʼt Apartment Searchtofrom Daily Illini, Wait BeThe King” Champaign-Urbana’s leader in rental information, singer lets you shop for an apartment from a database of hundreds of apartments from dozens of local 43 rental Subj. companies. of Just choose the features important to you. Your search will reveal Stansfield photos, maps and amenities. It’s that simple! http://classifi Turnerʼs “Burn Before Reading” 44 Attain success 45 A term may end with one 46 Full-blown 48 Declutter

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1 Mil 2 Co 3 Ba sig 4 Na mo 5 Ca 6 Cla and 7 Me the 8 Ecc cou form 9 Em exp 1 bedroom sublease . February-July. 10 Bla $395/mo. 606 S. Prairie. (217) 4188230. ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE 11 Lab A R I A O R V A L I N K Y 12 An lea M A W R N A I V E N O N E Pe T H A T R E M A I N S S E E N Pa N Y E T E T O I L E S 13 Pu 15 Wo O P T B O R N W I L D Po N R A A T E E L U E L L A fing B E L W A S T T R U E S Nig A M O N O T T O B E C S I Hu S I N G E A L K Y K I A 21 Co in-t E X E R T S E A R S Y O N I T H A D Y O U A N S 24 Liq dis P A M E L A S N E I L lab Y O U V E G O T K I D D I N G 25 “Ve R U N E G R I T S O V E R com O T I S Y E A S T L E E R 27 Mo   JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011

Pretty punx no biggie.


March 21-April 19

The age-old question comes up for review once again: Which should predominate, independence or interdependence? The answer is always different, of course, depending on the tenor of the time and the phase of your evolution. But in the coming weeks, at least, my view is that you should put more emphasis on interdependence. I think you’ll reap huge benefits from wholeheartedly blending your energies with allies whose power and intelligence match yours.


April 20-May 20

I find many of you Tauruses to be excessively selfeffacing. It’s a trait that can be both endearing and maddening. Even as my heart melts in the presence of Bulls who are underestimating their own beauty, I may also feel like grabbing them by the shoulders and shaking some confidence into them, barraging them with frustrated exhortations like “Believe in yourself as much as I believe in you, for God’s sake!” But I’m guessing I won’t be tempted to do that anytime soon. You appear to be due for a big influx of self-esteem.


May 21-June 20

It will be good week to let your mind go utterly blank while slouching in front of a TV and sipping warm milk, or to spend hours curled up in a ball under the covers on your bed as you berate yourself with guilty insults for the mistakes you’ve made in your life. NOT! I’m kidding! Please don’t you dare do anything like that. It would be a terrible waste of the rowdy astrological omens that are coming to bear on you. Here are some better ideas: Go seek the fire on the mountain! Create a secret in the sanctuary! Learn a trick in the dark! Find a new emotion in the wilderness! Study the wisest, wildest people you know so that you, too, can be wildly wise!


June 21-July 22

This would be an excellent week to grieve madly and deeply about the old love affairs that shattered your heart. So I suggest you conduct a formal ritual that will provide total exorcism and bring you maximum catharsis. Maybe you could build a shrine containing the photos and objects that keep a part of you stuck in the past, and maybe you could find the bold words and innovative gestures that will bid goodbye to them forever. Do you have any intuitions about how to create a rousing healing ceremony?


July 23-Aug. 22

The History cable TV channel has a reality TV show called “Ice Road Truckers.” It documents the exploits of drivers who haul heavy loads in their 18-wheelers for long distances across frozen rivers and lakes and swamps in Alaska and northwest Canada. They bring supplies to remote outposts where humans work exotic jobs like mining diamonds and drilling for natural gas. If you have any truck-driving skills, Leo, you’d be a good candidate to apply for a gig on the show. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, your levels of courage and adventurousness will be at an all-time high in 2011. May I suggest, though, that you try to make your romps in the frontier more purely pleasurable than what the ice road truckers have to endure?


Aug. 23-Sept. 22

Pop chanteuse Katy Perry is renowned not only for her singing ability but also for her physical appearance. Her preternatural ability to sell her musical products can be attributed in part to her sparkling good looks and charisma. Without her make-up, Katy’s visage was spectacularly ordinary. Not ugly, just plain. In accordance with the astrological omens, Virgo, I urge you to do what Russell Brand did: expose the reality that lies beneath and behind the glamorous illusion, either in yourself or anywhere else you find a need.


Sept. 23-Oct. 22

While I was growing up, I was taught to regard my analytical mind as a supreme tool for understanding

Jan 20 - Jan 26

reality. I’ve never stopped believing that. However, I eventually realized I had to add the following corollaries if I wanted to thrive: 1. My imagination and intuition are as essential to my success as my analytical mind; 2. I need to regularly express my playful, creative urges, and that requires me to sometimes transcend my analytical mind; 3. to maintain my emotional well-being, I have to work with my dreams, which occur in a realm where the analytical mind is not lord and king. Does any of this ring true for you, Libra? Now is an excellent time to cultivate other modes of intelligence besides your analytical mind.


Oct. 23-Nov. 21


Nov. 22-Dec. 21


Dec. 22-Jan. 19

jone sin’

by Matt Jones

“The Worst of 2010” — Just when you thought it was over ...

If you’re planning on spending any time hibernating during the next few months, this would be an excellent time to do it. Your reaction time is slowing down, which is a very healthy thing. Meanwhile, your allergy to civilization is acting up, your head is too full of thoughts you don’t need, and your heart craves a break from the subtle sorrows and trivial tussles of daily life. So go find some sweet silence to hide inside, Scorpio. Treat yourself to a slow-motion glide through the eternal point of view.

“Dear Rob: All my life I’ve been passionate about the big picture -- learning how the universe works, meditating on why things are the way they are, and probing the invisible forces working behind the scenes. Too often, though, I’m so enamored of these expansive concepts that I neglect to pay enough humble attention to myself. It’s embarrassing. Loving the infinite, I scrimp on taking care of the finite. Any advice? - Larger Than Life Sagittarian.” Dear Larger: You’re in luck! Members of the Sagittarian tribe have entered a phase when they can make up for their previous neglect of life-nourishing details. In the coming weeks, I bet you’ll find it as fun and interesting to attend to your own little needs as you normally do to understanding the mysteries of the cosmos.

All the most credible studies say that the crime rate is steadily decreasing, and yet three out of every four people believe it’s rising. What conclusions can we draw from this curious discrepancy? Here’s one: The majority of the population is predisposed towards pessimism. In my astrological opinion, Capricorn, you can’t afford to be victimized by this mass psychosis. If you are, it will interfere with and probably even stunt the good fortune headed your way. I’m not asking you to be absurdly optimistic. Just try to root out any tendencies you might have to be absurdly gloomy.


Jan. 20-Feb. 18

In the early 20th century, many women at the beach covered most of their bodies with swimsuits made of wool. If they went in the water, they’d emerge about 20 pounds heavier. Swimming was a challenge. Your current psychic state has resemblances to what you’d feel like if you were wearing drenched woolen underwear and a drenched woolen clown suit and a drenched woolen robe. My advice? Take it off; take it all off. The astrological omens are clear: Whatever your reasons were for being in this get-up in the first place are no longer valid.


Feb. 19-March 20

In comedian Sarah Silverman’s memoir, The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee, she confesses that she was still wetting her bed at age 19. Depression was a constant companion throughout adolescence, and she took a lot of Xanax. Yet somehow she grew into such a formidable adult that she was able to corral God himself to write the afterword for her book. How did she manage that? “This is so trite,” she told Publishers Weekly, “but . . . sex.” I predict that a comparable reversal of fortune is ahead for you, Pisces. Some part of your past will be redeemed, quite possibly with the sexy help of a divine ally.

Stumped? Find the solutions in the Classifieds pages. Across 1 ___-Wan Kenobi^9 4 Perry Mason assignment 8 Comfy shoe 12 Collapse, with “over” 13 In a crawling position 16 Just sitting there 17 Her “Can’t Be Tamed” video made Yahoo! Music’s “The Least Awesome Videos of 2010” list 18 ___ de los Muertos (Mexican holiday) 19 “Go jump off a cliff” 20 WWII naval vessel 21 One way to constantly check one of the worst news stories of 2010 23 Home of a mail order steak business 25 Zigzag-mustached Nintendo bad guy 26 Patient follower 27 Sitcom (as pronounced on CBS ads) that made’s “Worst of TV in 2010” list 32 “Lisa Bonet ___ basil” (palindrome) 33 Brendan Fraser movie that made many Top 10 Worst of 2010 movie lists 42 Pack animals 43 iPhone competitor 44 Part of a green mantra 45 Skin-tight jeans hybrid on’s “The Worst Fashion Trends of 2010” list 48 Math class with x’s and y’s:

abbr. 49 Safer of “60 Minutes” 51 Encl. with some contest entries 52 Breadless KFC sandwich on Newsweek’s “13 Worst Trends of 2010” list 55 Key at the bottom left 56 Either “Lady and the Tramp” antagonist 57 Bar that gets many prank calls 58 “___ Eyes” (song by The Eagles) 59 “The ___ the limit!” 60 Well-chosen Down 1 Of some mother-son relationships 2 Calgary neighborhood that’s not quite where the Fresh Prince moved 3 French vacation spot, maybe 4 Word before strip or opera 5 Grammy-winning singer Baker 6 Capital home to Willamette University 7 Grades K-6 8 Ozone layer pollutant 9 Tiger attack victim of 2003 10 The Virgin Mary, in Catholicism 11 Puppy love involvements 12 Afternoon children’s programming block that moved to The CW 14 Caustic cleaner 15 Astronomical giant with a spectral letter ranking

19 “Blee ___ Blues” (Count Basie song) 22 “Hips Don’t ___” (song by Shakira) 23 Baby docs 24 Soccer pro Hamm 26 “My Life as ___” (1985 Swedish film) 28 “The Say Hey Kid” 29 Canadian children’s network 30 Billy ___ Williams 31 “Raggedy” doll 33 Liquid petroleum byproduct 34 First Latin American country to nationally legalize same-sex civil unions 35 They get their own crossings: abbr. 36 Fish eggs 37 Trendsetting 38 Jackie O’s ex 39 Ceaseless 40 Smoke, back in the day 41 Ford fiascos 42 Thin nails 45 Slangy subgenre for bands like X Japan, Dragon Ash and Luna Sea 46 Denver Bronco with the retired number 7 47 Well-mannered guys 49 My, to Marcel 50 Dedicated poems 53 Fat measure, for short 54 Spy novelist Deighton 55 Where Taylor Swift gets trophies



JANUARY 20 - 26, 2011 



brain freeze A failed attempt to ignore the brutality of winter Winter is like a Jim Carrey movie. Even if it’s a rare good one, parts of it are simply going to be too much for most people to withstand. There’s snow, ice, cold and deadly cold. The worst part is that each of these things could be waiting for you each time you step outside. Champaign isn’t even the worst place for winter, so that gives you some idea of how much it sucks if you live north of here. A person has to be at least a little tough just to get through it, and you have to be crazy focused to live your life as if it doesn’t bother you in any way. The biggest concern in the winter is not whether you will feel pain because you sort of will. The real decision is whether or not there’s a good chance you will live until the end of it.

half an hour and when you finally stop to look at the progress, it almost makes you cry. “Wow, one third of the driveway is done. I should go really fast now because otherwise I’m going to freeze to death.” At some juncture, a heart attack seems like a far better option than actually finishing the work. I’m sure it never seems like a better idea in hindsight, but I can completely see it at the time. In order to make shoveling snow a bit less death defying, it’s probably a good idea to keep yourself in some sort of shape during the cold months. An idea like this is also made much harder in the winter. I’m still trying to run this winter, and the cold manages to take something that is already miserable to me and makes it nearly unbearable. Strangely, I actually prefer to run on ice as opposed to snow. This is only because there is a far greater risk I will fall down quicker and can crawl my way back to the warm house sooner. Plus, there’s also a better chance of reWinter will continue to be an enormous ally hurting yourself and putting an end pain in the ass for at least another couple to all of the winter shenanigans. Running on snow really sucks worse of months. There will be shoveling, than ice. First of all, even if you fall, every shivering, scraping and freezing, but before surface is all fluffy and snow covered, so you’re just going to have to get up and you know it, we’ll all walk outside to a continue. No one is ever going to buy the excuse of “Oh, wow, I fell in ten inches of 40-degree day. It won’t even seem cold, really cushiony snow. I should probably which is actually a pretty good indication call it a day.” The snow also gives way and makes getting your footing complias to how much cold weather can lower cated, if not impossible. Some people your expectations. When it finally gets say that it’s like running in sand. This is stupid because very few people run in to 50 degrees, it’ll seem like a day at the the sand with seven layers of clothes on. freaking beach. Hell, even driving to work in the morning can be dangerous. Here’s a little tip For a reason that isn’t even clear to me, I’ve de- for all the winter drivers: It’s snow and ice. It’s the cided to pretend winter doesn’t even exist this same as the snow and ice we had last week, so year. Well, that’s not even possible, but at least I slow the piss down and maybe have an outside decided that I wasn’t going to let it affect what I chance of controlling your car if you really have do either way. So far, this plan has worked pretty to. It’s slick. It’s always slick. Just trust me on this. smoothly, which in no way means it doesn’t suck Sure, a four-wheel drive vehicle can get really a large part of the time. Let’s take a look at some good traction in the snow. This ability to go really of the tasks we all do in the winter that can be fast doesn’t affect the braking mechanism much dangerous or at least terrible. though, so if there is even the slightest chance you When we think of people dying in the winter, intend on stopping your car sometime, go ahead the first thing that generally comes to mind is the and slow down enough to make this possible. heart attack while shoveling snow. It’s probably The best encouragement I can give anyone is less of a big deal these days since just about every just to suck it up because it is almost over. This in lucky bastard has a snow blower, but I’m sure no way means, however, that the rest of the race it still happens. The basic idea is that primarily is downhill. Winter will continue to be an enorsedentary people all of a sudden decide to clear mous pain in the ass for at least another couple off the driveway and their mind writes a check of months. There will be shoveling, shivering, their body can’t cash. They usually just have a scraping and freezing, but before you know it, grabber but I’m sure there are also plenty of pulled we’ll all walk outside to a 40-degree day. It won’t and torn muscles. even seem cold, which is actually a pretty good I think in many of these instances it may pos- indication as to how much cold weather can lower sibly be suicide instead of a heart attack. Having your expectations. shoveled a crapload of snow this year, I can even When it finally gets to 50 degrees, it’ll seem like understand it. You lift, twist, sweat and slip for a a day at the freaking beach.



Buzz Magazine: Jan. 20, 2011  

Jan. 20, 2011