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Champaign-Urbana’s community magazine FREE

w eekly

week of january 5, 2012

january album releases  2    i miss you zorba’s  6    ry gos xoxo  9

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January 10



JANUARY 5, 2012

w eekly



An essay on 2011 in music

BEST OF 2011

» Bill Ryder-Jones - If » Red Wanting Blue - From the Vanishing Point » Run Dan Run - Normal » Various Artists - We Are the Works in Progress (Japan Benefit comp organized by Blonde Redhead) » Young London - Young London




Attack Attack! - This Means War Cat Le Bon - CYRK Enter Shikari - A Flash Flood of Colour Juvenile - Rejuvenation Matthew Dear - Headcage EP Secrets - The Ascent The Big Pink - Future This The Duke Spirit - Bruiser Walter Rose - Cast Your Stone

January 24 » Big Deal - Lights Out » Chairlift - Something » Cloud Nothings - Attack on Memory » Craig Finn - Clear Heart Full Eyes » First Aid Kit - The Lion’s Roar » Ingrid Michaelson - Human Again » John K. Samson - Provincial » Lamb of God - Resolution » moe. - What Happened to the La Las » Nada Surf - The Stars are Indifferent to Astronomy » Rise to Remain - City of Vultures » Zomes - Improvisations

COMMUNITY Like community? We do, too! Check out all our online columns -- fashion, relationships, individuality and just general life.

MOVIES & TV Check out all our sweet animation analysis in our animation columns this week!

FOOD & DRINK New year, new columns! Yay! Check out for the newest food and drink tips, tricks and recipes!

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Check out this year’s new theater and book reviews as well as profiles of local artists on the Arts tab of!


January 31 » The Big Sleep - Nature Experiments » Black Bananas - Rad Time Xpress IV » Exdetectives - Take My Forever » Fionin Regan - 100 Acres of Sycamore » Grimes - Visions » Lana Del Rey - Born to Die » Leonard Cohen - Old Ideas » Night Genes - Like the Blood » The 2 Bears - Be Strong » The Asteroids Galaxy Tour - Out of Frequency *Source: Metacritic, various press releases 2



Cutting Edge keeps up with Glee

» Captain Beefheart - Bat Chain Puller

» » » » » » » » »


You can yell in a museum!

January 15

January 17


Music’s top ten albums

Check out our review of Santah’s concert at Lincoln Hall in Chicago, along with new a Records We Dissed, Records We Missed, and Selected Song.




One of the things I’ve slowly come to accept is that no matter how rich I get, which isn’t going to happen, I will probably never achieve my dream of owning a Batcave. Up until high school, Bat Cave was my go to answer whenever anyone asked me about the future. If someone wondered what I wanted to do when I grew up, I would say, “Whatever allows me to live in the side of a mountain in a Batcave.” For those unfamiliar with Batman lore, the Batcave of my dreams would be accessible only through a secret button in my library that may or may not lead to a fire pole. Once inside the actual cave, the decor is strictly rock-based, preferably chiselled out of the mountain housing the cave. The cave would also contain advanced technologies to test my physical and mental ability (the workout machines would probably go untouched, for the most part). I don’t know whether or not I would like to have crime-fighting tools because I’m not actually as insane as Batman, but I suppose anything is possible. Even though I still firmly stand behind my dream, people eventually stopped finding my life goal cute and got annoyed. My response is now a bit less fanciful as I want to write for a living. Most people still have a hard time responding to this, though. For a while, I would tell people I wanted to write movies because who doesn’t? Recently, I’ve found that lowering one’s expectations can actually be exciting. This winter break, I’ve fulfilled my goal of reading many comics, but in addition to that, I’ve also been rewatching the superhero-based Saturday morning cartoons from the 90s. Spider-Man, X-Men, Batman: they’re all pretty good! My new goal is to write for a children’s cartoon. Everyone wants to write movies, but there can’t be too many people that aspire to entertain children from 8-11 am. What’s best about my new life plan is that I don’t have to be that good! Some children’s cartoons are genius (Adventure Time), but by no means is it necessary. I could directly adapt the 60s Spider-Man comic with modern dialogue (and modern puns) and still be a successful writer. Of course, my goal would be to be create a quality product that adults can also appreciate, but who knows? I may suck at it.

One day we will all marry Ryan.






JANUARY IS NATIONAL HOT TEA, OATMEAL AND SOUP MONTH by Avani Chhaya We have entire months dedicated to celebrity birthdays and hallmark holidays. In January, however, the scalding heat is turned on. Intrigued? You should be. January marks the national hot soup, tea and oatmeal month. Picking the top soup, tea and oatmeal contenders was a difficult feat to undertake. The classic soup conundrum: Two soups instinctively come to mind as the iconic classics — tomato and chicken noodle. In the 1960s, Andy Warhol paintings that sported Campbell’s soup cans gave tomato soup five microwave minutes of fame. Chicken noodle soup, on the other hand, brings about childhood memories and slurping sounds. Winner: Chicken Noodle An oatmeal obstacle: The sweet smell of brown sugar wafts into your bedroom as it sits atop apple cinnamon-flavored oatmeal. Mushy apples in a cinnamon stew of goodness compared to artificial blueberries is not even a question. Winner: Apple Cinnamon The trouble with tea: The sheer number of teas out there in the world makes it difficult to choose just two contenders for this category. Green tea is refreshingly sweet in taste, while Mandarin Orange has a kick to its potent, antioxidant-packed self. Winner: Mandarin Orange




Stay warm and celebrate January with these comforting concoctions.

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We reserve the right to edit submissions. buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. buzz Magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. © ILLINI MEDIA COMPANY 2011

» Breaking up a fight in the middle of the street: Did you all see that? Because if you haven’t, go watch it on Youtube right now. It’s called like, “Ryan Gosling Breaks up a Street Fight,” or something. Okay. Now that you’ve watched it, spoiler alert! So not only is Ryan Gosling a Hottie McHottie, he also has the decency to be a fantastic human being! Like, what would you do if you saw a fight breaking out in the middle of the freaking street? I would say, personally, I would probably watch from afar, walk the other way or maybe update my Facebook status about it. Ryan didn’t do any of those things! He walked right up to the two guys and pretty much looked at them and melted their hearts. Then they stopped fighting, and it was glorious. I’m surprised rainbows didn’t suddenly appear or unicorns or something. » Glasses: I have a thing for spectacled men. Like, neat/”cool” glasses. Not Harry Potterstyle (sorry Harry, love you, but it’s time for an update) or Arthur-style, but different, thought-out frames. For example, Ryan Gosling has awesome glasses. Yes, they may be a little cliche and “hipster” or whatever (for a definition on hipsters, see the Daily Illini), but they suit him. Sometimes glasses make people look like a nerd, but spectacles just make Ryan Gosling look more hot than he already is (is that possible?). He’s got the intellectual, cool, “I’ve got a really (legitimately) great band,” all-the-ladies-love-me, devil-may-care kind of attitude going on. Glasses just magnify that. In the best way possible.



» Drive: I loved this movie so much, I went alone last Saturday night to see it at the Art Theater. I’m going to go again Thursday night at the Art. 10pm for $3. There’s no excuse for you to make me see it alone again. » Totally doing Eva Mendes: High five, Baby Goose! But she was probably no match for your soft, blue eyes. Other people you’ve boned: Rachel McAdams, Sanda Bullock, probably millions of ladies who eat at your restaurant, listen to your band, etc. » Diversity: The Year of the Gosling can be accredited to Ryan’s appearances in three very well-played and diverse roles in movies this year. He’s the epitome of an old, old wooden ship used during the Civil War era. (note: Ryan Gosling was not in Anchorman)


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top 11 of 2011 A review of the year’s biggest global and local events by Amy Harwath


s with every year since the beginning of time, 2011 has had its ups and downs. Natural disasters; political, economic and social unrest; royal weddings and the deaths of good and bad people made headlines and attracted attention. Here are the top 11 events, both global and local, of 2011.

1. Arab Spring:

The political and social unrest and uprisings in the Middle East have been making national news since last year. Revolutions in Tunisia and Egypt, as well as the civil war in Libya, have created a domino effect all across the Arab world, resulting in protests and demonstrations in an effort advance human rights and fight dictatorships. In January, protests caused Tunisian President Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali to step down after holding power for 23 years. In Egypt, the 30-year presidency of Hosni Mubarak ended with his resignation in February. Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi was killed this October, and photos of his death were shared throughout the world.

2. Japan Earthquake and Tsunami:

Disaster struck Japan on March 11 when a 9.0 earthquake hit, causing a subsequent tsunami. According to the BBC, the quake was the fifth largest in the world since 1900. It caused a nuclear crisis at the Fukushima nuclear power plant when the cooling system failed, causing radiation leaks, and thousands of people in the area were instructed to evacuate. According to the International Medical Corps, approximately 15,600 people died, and 4,800 are still missing.

3. The Royal Wedding:

On April 29, Prince William and Catherine Middleton wed at Westminster Abbey. The wedding attracted national attention as people all over the world tuned in to watch the wedding on television. The cute couple met while they were in school. Kate Middleton’s ring, an oval sapphire surrounded by diamonds, has become famous in its own right — there is even a website about it ( It may seem over the top and excessive, but after the earthquake, tsunami and unrest in the Middle East, it seems the whole world needed an escape to a fairy tale wedding.

4. Osama bin Laden’s death:

Twitter feeds and Facebook statuses exploded on May 1 as news leaked out that Osama bin Laden was killed. After being hunted down for ten years after the September 11 attacks, Osama bin Laden was perhaps the most wanted man alive. 4


Navy SEALs carried out the successful mission, which ended when bin Laden was shot in the head. Americans literally celebrated at the news.

5. New York Legalizes Gay Marriage:

On June 24, New York passed a law legalizing same-sex marriage. Gay rights have become a national social issue, championed by liberals and celebrities such as Lady Gaga. At the same time, Republicans have fought against gay rights, making the issue part of their campaigns as Republicans now battle it out for a spot in the 2012 presidential election. Still, as the largest state to allow gay marriage, New York’s step toward social activism shows promise for the future of gay rights.

6. Harry Potter Ends :

Although the seventh and final book came out in July, 2007, the eight-part movie saga caught up and ended this past July. Young adults all over the world lamented the last movie, labeling it as the “end of childhood.” It sounds dramatic, but when you think about it, it has some truth to it. The first book came out in 1997. Children literally grew up with Harry with the release of books and movies over the course of 14 years. By the time the Harry Potter saga ended, those who read his books as children were now adults, moving on in life just as Harry, Ron and Hermoine did.

7. Steve Jobs Died:

Much to the dismay of Mac and Apple lovers, Steve Jobs passed away from pancreatic cancer on Oct. 5. Jobs was open about his illness, announcing multiple leaves of absence while he dealt with his health problems. He announced his resignation in Aug. 24 and passed away a little more than one month later. Mac and Apple people champion the products for their sleek design and user friendliness. Jobs certainly changed the present and future of consumer technology.

8. Victoria’s Secret PINK Bash

Moving in on a more local event, the much anticipated and then forgotten and then remembered Victoria’s Secret PINK concert finally came together in October. Students voted like crazy last spring semester, getting their friends and family to vote while finding ways to cheat the system and submit multiple votes each day. When the University of Illinois was announced as the winner, hype was created, but a date for the concert was never set. After rumors of performers and dates circulated, the date was finally set for Oct. 20, and Kid Cudi headlined with Girl Talk as his opening act.

Harry Potter. Used with permission from Warner Brothers Studoios

9. Occupy Wall Street:

The 99 percent vs. the 1 percent. Purportedly a mass movement of people from all walks of life who have joined together to protest the greed and corruption of the wealthiest 1 percent of the nation, Occupy Wall Street seems to mostly be made up of college-age hipsters and homeless people. People have been arrested, and tensions are high between protesters and the police, but the movement has found footing in cities all across the country. The University of Illinois also had a group of people “Occupy the Quad” earlier this semester.

10. Champaign Police Chief Resigns:

This fall, Champaign Police Chief R.T. Finney announced that he will retire on Jan. 20, 2012. Although reports in the News-Gazette say he had been planning to retire for a while, his announcement came at a time of tension between the community and police force. Since Kiwane Car-

rington was shot by Champaign police in 2009, relations between residents and police have been stressed, as community members say that the police are too “detached from the community.” Recent footage of police strangling a black youth has drawn even more negative criticism. Hopefully the search for a new police chief will ease tensions and create a better relationship between the police force and residents.

11. Coach Problems:

The sex abuse allegations against ex-Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky stirred up national disgust and criticism. Media coverage of the scandal was widespread, especially as more victims surfaced. Luckily, the University of Illinois has not had to deal with that problem. However, the recent firing of coach Ron Zook has given the University its own variety of coach drama. Although the football team started out strong with six straight wins, their record quickly fell when it was followed by six straight losses, leading to Zook being fired. Better luck next year, Illini.   January 5 - 11, 2012

Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling!

a halo of hype around new years Were those fancy outfits and wishes for midnight kisses worth it? by Avani Chhaya


eyond unattainable resolutions that strictly revolve around exercise and eating healthy, a halo of built-up hype encircles the long-awaited New Year’s celebration. We ache for fresh starts, as the burdens of our past mistakes etch themselves deeper into our memories. Blunders are made eternal, and faults are immortalized, yet hope lingers in the cathartic rebirth of the new year. Talk about pressure for the new year. Celebrating it in style is deemed a necessity, nay, a mandated requirement, for those romantic, adventurous souls. The need to make this one night of the year perfect brings too many disappointments. The anticipated midnight kiss is put on a pedestal as New Year attendees expectantly worry over whom to kiss on that one night that is meant to presumably set the tone for the next 365 days. As clammy hands are shoved in pockets and mints are surreptitiously put in stinky mouths, apprehension escalates as midnight slowly approaches. Three... two... one, and get ready for too much tongue or a sloppy, wet kiss. I do not think so. Why put so much stock on one kiss, disregarding all the kisses throughout the year that mean

so much more? What about those forehead kisses when you’re crying into the shoulder of your significant other, or those kisses after a long day, when you can hardly take the weight of things? And what about those kisses planted on your cheek that surprise you with delightful gratitude? One sloppy, too-much-tongue infested kiss stirred by a bout of possible drunkenness shatters the perfection that the New Year’s kiss has to offer. And wearing the so-called perfect New Year’s outfit can’t even make that kiss better. Is it even perfect to begin with? The idea of a “perfect” New Year’s is an imaginary notion meant to make us feel better. Perfection, defined as the highest degree of excellence with the freedom of flawlessness, cannot be achieved even with a sequined New Year’s dress. Sequins are a step above glitter, but I don’t think that’s saying much. A dress that shimmies up your thighs on its own and makes breathing a troublesome endeavor is not worth it. Making a grand entrance while the dress restricts your oxygen supply does not seem like a good trade-off to me. Succumbing to the idea that you have to dress up to have a good New Year’s plays into the built-up

Used with permission from the Cretive Commons

hype around this over-the-top celebration. When the dress falls short and conversation falls flat, there is not much you can do to save a New Year’s. Being aware of these pitfalls can help

CU Sound off

you prevent a disastrous sloppy-kissed, sequined nightmare so that you can plan a much more comfortable celebration in your style next year.

by Emma Cullen

What are your most memorable new year’s resolution fails or successes? Andy Valencia

Sarah Wookey

Darwin Walters

Tarek Visconti

Class of 2013

class of 2014

class of 2014

Class of 2013

“I vowed to keep in touch with all the friends I met in Buenos Aires when I was staying there. Unfortunately it didn’t really work out.”

“Better grades... It’s usually more of a fail.”

“Definitely working out more. It never fails.”

“A friend of mine vowed to lose weight, get A’s, learn French, and quit smoking all in one year, and all of them failed. It was a sad year.” buzz   





A look into the past Food & Drink takes a look at the big changes in 2011 buzz Food & Drink staff


here have been a lot of changes in the past year. Places have closed, others have opened and new trends have surfaced. Get the low down here!

them on twitter and Facebook to get special deals and their daily location (it changes!).

Food Trucks

It was sad to see these places go, but there just might be new places on the way!

What began as a fast way for lunch in the big cities has become second nature in ChampaignUrbana. There are a lot of trucks, and they all offer something new and delicious. » Mas Amigos : The Taco Motorizado, an extension of Mas Amigos, is a Mexican restaurant transplanted onto wheels: a bright yellow truck that sells chicken, pork, steak, chorizo and tongue tacos both the Mexican and American way; gooey quesadillas; piping hot elotes, which are buttery, spiced, grilled corn on the cob; and stuffed Mexican sandwiches, or tortas, all for under $6, six days a week. » Hawaiian Ice : Hawaiian Ice, parked kiddy corner to the Mas Amigos food truck, has been serving flavored snow cones to the Champaign-Urbana public for three years and now offers thirty-five different syrups to douse generous cups of shaved ice. There are three sizes: a twelve-ounce that costs $2, a sixteen-ounce for $2.50 and a twenty-ounce for $3. » Derald’s : Every weekday from 7:30 a.m. to 3 p.m., Derald’s Truck can be found behind Noyes Laboratory on S. Mathews Ave, giving fuel to hungry college students. In the morning, coffee, juice and doughnuts are available for purchase, with items such as burgers, chicken sandwiches, ribeye steaks and patty melts available during lunch hours. This Illini-decorated truck offers a variety of options and can easily satisfy any stomach. » Candide Coffee : Referred to as the “Candide Tactical Coffee Unit,” this roaming brew truck is dedicated to one thing and excels at it — getting you that perfect cup of Joe. Candide Roasteries is there for you in those times of desperation (finals, morning class, just the morning in general) with natural, fresh-roasted beans each day. Known for its tasty mochas, single cup brewing process and environmentally friendly truck design, I don’t see this Quad-side staple running out of gas anytime soon. » The Crave Truck : Have a craving for European street food? The cheery red Crave Truck’s Belgian waffles are crisp on the outside and warm and soft on the inside. If you’re concerned about running to class with a fork and knife, fear not — these are not the same as breakfast waffles. They’re made from yeast dough, not batter, which makes them crunchy and easy to hold. The truck also offers cornbread and whole grain waffles. The truck offers classic toppings such as powdered sugar, Nutella spread, fruit, caramel sauce, maple syrup, bacon and more. People who suffer from gluten allergies can enjoy gluten-free waffles. Follow 6


Places That Closed

» Antonio’s : Unusually topped, huge slices of pizza for cheap was Antonio’s specialty. If you wanted to make a crazy pizza concoction, Antonio’s would let you. If you didn’t feel up to the task, Antonio’s had many unique meat and veggie options such as the Chicken Quesadilla Pizza or an entire selection of vegetarian pies. It was open late at night right on Green, making it the perfect post-partying pit stop. We’ll miss you, Antonio’s, and maybe, just maybe, you will make a reappearance. » Mia Za’s : Located at the corner of Green and Wright, Mia Za’s was one of the unfortunate restaurants that couldn’t survive the fire on Green in March. A cozy cafe, Za’s specialized in pasta, paninis and pizza, or any combination of the two. With its charming Italian décor, it was a favorite among college students wanting to transport to Italy for an hour. Mia Za’s is expected to return in early 2012, serving favorites just like before. » Zyggy’z : Zyggy’z Grill was one of the restaurants on Green Street that closed this semester, which meant goodbye to cheap and delicious Indian fast food. The place specialized in Zyggy rolls, paratha bread stuffed with grilled vegetables and choice of chicken, beef, lamb, paneer or potato, rolled up and eaten burrito-style; but they also offered combination plates of typical Indian dishes; pav bhaji, succinctly described as vegetarian sloppy joes; and falafel in both sandwich and platter form. » Zorba’s : This past summer, Champaign said goodbye to Zorba’s Restaurant after a fire led to the partial demolition of several buildings. Zorba’s was a Campustown favorite for gyros. The restaurant offered students traditional Greek cuisine, such as baklava, as well as some American dishes like beef chili and fried mushrooms. Zorba’s offered a variety of salads and pita sandwiches, including chicken fajita, fish, black bean burger, hot dog and “vegee,” which was described as a salad on a pita. On “Groovy Tuesdays,” Zorba’s took $1 off all gyros and vegee sandwiches and 1/2 off fries. » Big Mouth’s : Once upon a time, Big Mouth’s was a local Green St. favorite. Sadly, freshmen at the University of Illinois did not get to experience this meat lover’s extravaganza. Big Mouth’s truly did not want their customers to leave hungry, as their smallest burger option was a 1/3 lb. They also offered a variety of hot dogs, chicken, polish sausage and what seems like every possible combination in between. Big Mouth’s will surely be missed.

Photo by Paul Habeeb

Places That Opened » Carmon’s : Owned by the same chef of Bacaro, downtown Champaign’s fine dining restauruant, Carmon’s is one of the newest additions to Champaign. It brings a new cuisine into town — French bistro. The food is fresh, and most of it comes from local farmers. The menu offers classic French entrees such as mussels, steak frites and pate. They also offer specials that change daily as well as seasonally, depending on the weather (coq au vin is a winter dish!) and what produce is in season. If you’re craving something new and fresh, Carmon’s is the place to go. » Destihl : Destihl is a new but already local favorite located in Downtown Champaign. Although it may seem like any other Champaign brewery, it offers a unique twist and artisan fare. According to their website, it is a “gastrobrewpub” which creatively fuses craft beer and all-American dishes using many local ingredients and both modern and traditional techniques. Their menu also offers

something for everyone whether you like stoneoven pizza, Rib-eye, or Shrimp. » Maize : With its fresh ingredients and bustling atmosphere, the new Mexican joint, Maize, blows away its competitors. Its tortillas alone are worth a trip to First and Green, and salsas and guac are enough to keep you there. The only drawback is the lack of elbow room in the place — it’s difficult to nab a seat, not to mention two. I’d get it to go and savor the deliciousness in the comfort of your own car or apartment. » Sliders : For those of you who find White Castle disgusting, as I do, a new addition on Green Street offers an upgraded version of the slider. Sliders Burgers & Belgian Fries made its debut early in the semester, and it serves what its name suggests — burgers, served on potato buns and offered as 5-ounce traditional burgers or 2-ounce sliders, and Belgian fries, which are unique for their shape as well as the way they are fried twice, resulting in a distinct potato taste and crispy texture. The rest of Sliders’ menu consists of grilled cheese, hot dogs and a variety of sauces.


January 5 - 11, 2012

buzz’s top 10 records of 2011 Because we’re cocky enough to rate music by buzz Music Staff


pon the close of the year 2011, the buzz Music Staff vigorously discussed what records would go in our “best of” list. We argued, voted, compiled, and this is what we got. Our full Top 20 list with accompanying reviews can be found on


Artist: Bon Iver Album: Bon Iver (Secretly Canadian)

In June, Bon Iver released their second record, one that followed For Emma, Forever Ago but was in no way a sequel. The release took three years to write and was recorded at the same time that frontman Justin Vernon and friends were building a studio which came to be known as April Base. Just like April Base, Bon Iver is the result of a more collaborative effort, with a bigger focus being placed on a developed group as opposed to solely the frontman. Here, Vernon has managed to express something in a truly poetic way, achieving what very few modern-day musicians have managed to achieve. The album is a work filled with plays on words and invented places. It’s a deference to artists such as The Who and Lucinda Williams. Toward the end of the year, a deluxe version of Bon Iver was released; accompanying it were enthralling short films, finally adding images to some of the unidentifiable places of Bon Iver. Since its release, the album was greeted with accolades, including Grammy nominations. Although complexity and maturity make this album a work unlike For Emma, it still became as successful while preserving the element of intimacy that first got us listening. —Maggie Labno


Artist: tUnE-yArDs Album: w h o k i l l (4AD)

w h o k i l l is an absolutely original album. It mixes reggae, experimental instrumentation, patriotism and just the right amount of absurdity; nothing else this year sounds anything like it. Merrill Garbus’ voice always throws me off at first because she is able to sing with such power and aggressiveness, but at other times she can sing high and crisply. In addition, nothing sounds recycled, and the album also doesn’t borrow much from previous tUnE-yArDs releases. The energy of the instruments is able to keep up with the power of Garbus’ vocals, making w h o k i l l one of the best albums of 2011. —Matt Shancer


Artist: M83 Album: Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming (Mute)

M83’s Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming plays like a childhood memory, wrapped up in the nostalgic feel and expansiveness of its arrangements. Frontman Anthony Gonzalez’s ambitious double album is a breathtakingly epic collection of unrestrained, cin-

ematic synth-rock anthems. Its rousing lyrics tend to focus on younger days and gladly play second string to the bombastic production of the record. Although “Midnight City” has emerged as the first single and is generally deemed the standout track of the album, the Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming experience is best understood when the record is listened to in full. It’s mesmerizing; the rises and falls of the record are constant and impressive, awe-inspiring without being overwhelming. At the same time, the album is cohesive and fluid as quieter calming numbers frame the more dramatic songs. Gonzalez’s attention to detail is key to the album’s well-crafted sound. Throughout all the crescendos and slightly overblown length, the record’s most impressive feat is the mood it manages to set: fresh and energizing while coolly reminiscent of memories and music long past. —Evan Rogers


Artist: Fucked Up Album: David Comes to Life (Matador) This rock opera chronicles David, a light bulb factory worker, who falls in love with an activist, Veronica (her parts sung by Madeline Follin of Cults). The two strike back against the factory by means of a homemade bomb that leads to Veronica’s death. David feels responsible but discovers that he is a character in a story being told by Octavio and seeks revenge for what he has done to Veronica. The music is as advanced as the plot. Clocking in at an hour and seventeen minutes, the album is a long one but never drags. Pink Eyes, the group’s vocalist, lets his guts fall to the floor as David tackles the joy of young love, death, self-doubt and God. Hard guitar and drums juxtaposed with such raw emotion never sounded so good as David fights against all odds to find happiness and meaning. Very rarely do I disagree with meta protagonists that seek revenge on their corrupt maker, and this is no exception. As a narrative, David Comes to Life is everything a rock opera should be and more. Every piece of this album hits the mark and should be high on anyone’s list. Fucked Up’s third full-length is so unique and accessible I expect it to be listened to far past 2011. —Dylan Sutcliff


Artist: Fleet Foxes Album: Helplessness Blues (Sub Pop)

One listen through Fleet Foxes’ Helplessness Blues and you may find yourself closing your MacBook, turning off your Blackberry and stepping outside for a deep, meditative breath of winter air. That the group was able to create an album that soars above and beyond its shining predecessor speaks volumes about the level of talent at which Fleet Foxes stands. Each track feels like a magically modest yet grand production with winding harmonies, unexpected shifts of tempo and tone and a lyrical journey in which lead singer Robin

Pecknold ponders life and questions his values. While the group draws from obvious influences like Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young and Stephen Foster, Fleet Foxes has created a sound that is undoubtedly their own with Helplessness Blues. The record has ultimately deemed Fleet Foxes the higher power of their genre. —Hillary Waldstein


Artist: The Roots Album: Undun (Def Jam)

Undun is wonderfully crafted. De facto band leader ?uestlove lays down live-drum beats throughout the record that are tighter and groovier than most computer-perfected electronic beats in hip-hop today. The absolute standout track “The Otherside” is existentialism at its best, darkest and most empowering: “Be an asshole when the shit hits the fan/ Or bet your life on a bluff and a bad hand.” The whole record tells the life story of fictional character Redford Stevens in reverse. Somber and powerful soul-infused raps are placed between orchestral instrumentals, all of which are at times frenetic, but always beautiful and in their right place, flowing perfectly between each other and depicting the continuum of life and death. The continuum ideal culminates

with a final instrumental track (“Finality (4th movement)”) that starts off gorgeous and carefree and then descends into a murky and dissonant piano chord for the final note of the album. Yes, birth is a time to be happy, but that glee is short-lived. Undun poses this dreary question: How can you be happy about a life filled with so many unavoidable hardships? —Dan Durley


Artist: Lykke Li Album: Wounded Rhymes (LL)

Lykke Li’s Wounded Rhymes thrives on its eccentricities. Backed by Li’s distinctly colorful and expressive vocals and the tribal, dramatic approach of producer Björn Yttling of Peter Bjorn and John fame, it is, at its most basic, a pop record. It features plenty of catchy and memorable pop hooks accordingly. But Wounded Rhymes transcends its genre’s stale tropes with stunning range and attention to detail. Li is still just as haunting and graceful as she was in her debut, but now with more vocal power and emotion to add a phenomenal backbone of strength and heartbreak to her lyrics. The record itself is focused primarily on regret and disappointment caught up in a slow-burning disillusionment with love, but its heavy subject matter never weighs it down. Li shines most on her ballads, including the Continue to nest page »



MUSIC inventive and grandiose “Sadness is a Blessing” and the instant classic torch song “Unrequited Love.” As successful female pop acts seem to become increasingly interchangeable and indistinguishable from song to song, Li stays ahead of the pack. Each song on Wounded Rhymes is distinctly Lykke Li, something that only she could produce and pull off. It is that unique magic that makes Wounded Rhymes so notable and, best of all, interesting. —Evan Rogers


Artist: Cut Copy Album: Zonoscope (Modular)

Zonoscope has earned multiple positive reviews from critics while it reached number three on the ARIA Albums chart. Listening to Zonoscope, it feels like Cut Copy is taking on a “deeper” sound, rather than the misty electronic waves of the previous albums. Throughout the record, Cut Copy thrives off the positive vibes that their music inspires, with each progressing track bringing something to the table. The album also gives Cut Copy a whole new spectrum in terms of sound. The band maintains 

January 5 - 11, 2012

elements of the sound they’re known for, but improves on it by freeing itself from “pop” and delving into a world of harmonies and percussion, forming a much more complex dance album reminiscent of the 1980s. That said, the album does 80s well. However, through the incorporation of different techniques involving the keyboard, looping and samplers, Zonoscope is adventurous and pleasant rather than outdated. —Jeremy Lin


Artist: Washed Out Album: Within and Without (Sub Pop)

Ernest Greene (AKA Washed Out) sealed our affections with his Pygmalion show this past fall; it only makes sense that his debut album Within and Without would claim its place among the top albums of 2011. Released in July, the record’s vibrant synth riffs, accelerating snare licks and unhurried vocals match both the high energy and carelessness of summer. Airy and dreamlike, each track holds keys to nostalgia. Sometimes lively, sometimes sensual (like “Soft”), they can light up and chill down any room or scene. Infectious snare cracks in songs

Music for the masses

such as “Echoes,” and “fashion-show” synth riffs, as Pitchfork described them, are the primary ingredients for the album’s mystifying effects. The record has thus been dubbed a “chillwave” gem, and some even exalt Greene as an innovative pioneer of the chillwave movement. In an interview with Side B, Greene comments humbly on his sudden success as an innovator: “I never had any intention. I just do what I do. I’m a pretty average person. Just the right people heard the songs and liked them, that’s all.” Call it what you will: chillwave, dreamwave, glow-fi. Essentially, Within and Without melts into any background and takes you there with it. —Mandy McDaniel


Artist: Jay-Z and Kanye West Album: Watch the Throne (Roc-A-Fella, Roc Nation, Def Jam)

After the release of the surprisingly aggressive lead single “H.A.M.,” the anticipation of Kanye West and Jay-Z’s epically and fittingly-titled collaboration could be compared to that of a film

co-starring Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. With two stars this bright, with ambitions this grand and ideas this outlandish, a lot could go wrong. But fortunately for everyone, they didn’t, and we got Watch The Throne: a rousing critical and commercial success that gave birth to memes, chopped up Maybachs and about a million catchphrases. As with any Kanye West album, the production of Watch The Throne innovates, bringing the sounds of the past (James Brown, Curtis Mayfield, and Otis Redding are sampled) into the future at a thousand miles per hour. What makes Watch The Throne special is that for all its grandiosity, it still manages to tap into more universally relatable territory with commentary on race, fatherhood and the price of fame that balances the over-the top fun of tracks like “Niggas In Paris” and “Otis.” Where Watch The Throne could have easily been a victory lap or a tribute to their own greatness, West and Jay-Z find a way to celebrate their ascendance into elite status while searching for the reason there are not more members of the elite who look like them. —Evan Lyman

The accessibility of 2011 music and Adam’s favorite records

by Adam Barnett Philadelphia ridiculous-rockers Man Man released their fourth full-length Life Fantastic this past Summer, and it was indeed a fantastic record. For those who don’t listen to Man Man, they’re absolutely insane, full of dissonance, spunk and absolutely terrible for anyone into sweet singer-songwriter bullshit. They scream, they’re noisy and abrasive. At least, that’s what I ascertained from records like Rabbit Habits and Six Demon Bag and a couple of live performances. To my surprise, Life Fantastic was a bit more accessible than anything else Man Man has ever done, and by a long shot. This could possibly be a result of producer Mike Mogis (Bright Eyes, Cursive) lending a hand, but by the end of 2011, I realized that this was a definite trend in records this year, unintended as it might be. Music was accessible in two definitions of the word. In the literal sense, there’s the steady rise in torrenting that’s been going strong for the past few years. But this year, we saw the introduction of free services like Spotify and NPR’s “First Listen,” labels actually leaking records themselves and the usefulness in websites like Last.FM and Pandora that help listeners seek out artists that cater to personalized tastes. Cloud services like Google Music make it extremely easy to share music libraries, and you’ll be hard-pressed to find a record that’s at least semi-popular unavailable as a .zip file on Mediafire or Megaupload. I used to think my 300+ gb music collection was impressive — hardly. A recent AV Club article responding to its own list of top records of 2011 and discussing the lack of important records this year mentions Adele’s 21 as the “antithesis” to 2011’s defining album. Its author Steven Hyden cites the record’s “disconnection from current trends in pop music,” which is why it was so commercially successful. People 8


were bored, and Adele made popular music exciting again. I believe that the accessibility of music and the drift from recycled pop singles are connected. While more people are finding out that there is in fact more music available than what’s on your average Top 40 radio station, they’re learning that they can expect something different. So when something like Adele is by definition a “different” pop album, the masses flock to it. And now we get to the crazy coincidence that is the other definition of accessible music as defined by records like Life Fantastic. For whatever reason, a lot of albums released this year were relatively easy to listen to: St. Vincent’s highly-publicized Strange Mercy definitely wasn’t as “strange” as her critically acclaimed Marry Me or Actor. There were scarcely any of Annie Clark’s trademark gut-wrenching guitar outbursts as they made way for extremely catchy riffs and breakdowns. Mastodon laid low on the screaming for The Hunter and garnered a spot in many a “top 10 of 2011” list. You’ll be hard-pressed to hear about any more babies in bathtubs from Bright Eyes as The Peoples’ Key takes a full-on 360 to the world of synth-driven indie-rock/pop. After Screws Get Loose, Those Darlins reached a much larger audience with its Vivian/Dum Dum Girls-esque garage rock, but at the loss of a downsouth, country gal style that defined them. Beirut seems to have dropped a large portion of its orchestra ever-present in their first LPs in The Rip Tide to pave the way for easily-identifiable, but still handily-crafted pop music. Lastly and possibly the biggest deal in “indie” music right now, Bon Iver took a subtle turn in the band’s self-titled for an incredibly well-produced

Used with permission from Adam!

and attention-grabbing record. While Justin Vernon still doubles his vocals, his change in tone and shift from his first minimalist tunes somewhat draw up memories of Iron and Wine’s transformation from an acoustic low-fi singer-songwriter to the alternative teenage girl heartthrob (musically, at least) he is today. Both Samuel Bean (Iron and Wine) and Justin Vernon (Bon Iver) juiced up the emotions, increased the instruments, bettered the production and essentially became better artists (although it could be argued that Vernon has outdone Bean in talent as of late), which opened doors to new audiences and earned Vernon the Grammy nominations he’s up for in 2012. Based on the dozens of conversations I’ve had with artists over this past year for buzz, these changes are all most likely more natural than intentional. What kind of artist, especially those at this level of acclaim, changes just for a larger fan base? But it’s clear that the two definitions of accessibility here go hand-in-hand. While artists tone down the dissonance and bring in the

pop hooks, people just happen to have their ears open, and that’s definitely a good thing for the Music Industry itself. But sadly, I can no longer be overtly pretentious about my taste in music, and though there were a lot of records I enjoyed this year, 2011 left me with a feeling of emptiness that needed to be filled by something spectacularly innovative.

That said, here are my favorite records from 2011: 1. Son Lux – We Are Rising 2. Wye Oak – Civilian 3. Loch Lomond – Little Me Will Start a Storm 4. Peggy Sue - Acrobats 5. Bright Eyes – The Peoples’ Key 6. Mountain Goats – All Eternals Deck 7. M83 – Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming 8. Rural Alberta Advantage - Departing 9. St. Vincent – Strange Mercy 10. Bjork – Biophilia


JANUARY 5 - 11, 2012

YEAR OF THE GOSLING buzz justifies why Ryan Gosling is The Most Important Person of 2011 by Nick Martin

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (R) From a 35mm print Fri: (4:30), 7:30 PM Sat: (1:30), (4:30), 7:30 PM Sun: (4:30), 7:30 PM Mon & Tue: 7:30 PM Wed: (4:30), 7:30 PM Thu: 7:30 PM

The Man Fun Fact! In 1938, Time Magazine called Adolf Hitler Man of the Year for leading Germany to economic recovery after WWI (second FF! Kristallnacht, or “The Night the Holocaust Started,” was also in 1938 — whoops!). In 2011, Time called Ryan Gosling Coolest Person of the Year. Not “Person,” but “Coolest Person”: a new award given to Gosling for the first (and maybe last?) time. One can’t help but wonder: is Ryan Gosling going to seize executive power, militarize America and combat our slumping economy like only a ruthless fascist could?! Time will tell. However, buzz agrees Gosling is immensely cool; we planned to give Gosling an award (the prize: picture on our cover) before we knew Time did. And sure, 2011 had worldwide revolutions, the death of three violent despots and the death of technology’s most important innovator, so there must be someone more worthy of recognition other than Gosling, right?. Actually, no. All that shit is small fries compared to the awesomeness of the dude from Drive. In 2011, Gosling starred in three Hollywood blockbusters; his abs went viral all over the Internet; he’s an expert in Moroccan cuisine, a rock star, a Mouseketeer and a vigilante superhero. Gosling is more than a cool person. Actor, musician, activist, restaurant owner, Canadian: behold the essence of Ryan Gosling, the most important human being of 2011!

The Movies Usually super-hunk-gigantic-media-hype-sensations do not make good movies; Ryan Gosling is a noteworthy exception. What sets Gosling apart from most fads is genuine acting talent. He can do different types of movies and draw from seemingly dark places. Ironically, Gosling may be best known as the masculine archetype of 21st century romantic movie protagonists — or Noah from The Notebook — but this role seems like an outlier. Granted, Gosling threw himself into the role like he usually does (the reason Gosling and McAdams’ passion seems so real is because it was — they dated for years after the movie), but Gosling is usually a damaged outsider, not a heartthrob. Gosling explained to the Chicago Sun Times, “Every role I got up until The Notebook [in 2004] was the weirdo, freak, psychopath, nerd, outsider character guy.” In 2001’s The Believer, Gosling is a self-loathing Jew who joins the KKK; in 2002’s The Slaughter Rule, a father-less football player cut from the team; in 2003’s The United States of Leland, a murderer in a juvenile detention center. These roles help explain The Driver’s kindacreepy shyness (from Drive, duh). The Notebook brought bigger roles, but the loneliness remains. Blue Valentine is the counterpoint of The Notebook — Gosling, to MTV, called Blue Valentine a “companion piece [...that] picks up where The Notebook leaves off.” But the tie between both movies is the dedication Gosling brought to each role. He dated McAdams for years; he lived in a tiny house and

Week of Friday, January 6, 2012 through Thursday, January 12, 2012

From the film, ‘Drive’. Used with permission from FilmDistrict

fought every day with Michelle Williams. That may be why Gosling can be in Crazy Stupid Love, a sappy romantic comedy, and The Ides of March, a George Clooney political drama — he’s dedicated to the role and generous with fellow cast members. There’s a quiet charisma about Gosling that draws viewers in; for proof, watch him on a late night talk show. On Conan, he tells self-deprecating jokes about his love life, yet it’s still obvious Gosling is a sex symbol. Is Gosling so attractive because he’s actually attractive or because he’s dedicated, genuine and sincere? Can we choose both?

The Memes 2011’s greatest tragedy: People Magazine named Bradley Cooper Sexiest Man Alive, not Ryan Gosling. Since Americans care more about SMA than they do about Congressional elections, citizens stopped being people and turned to virtual activism to become statistics (a 2011 motif)! held a petition asking People to reverse their decision; Cooper himself agreed Gosling deserves it more than he does. #OccupyPeopleMagazine served to do two things: 1) prove Gosling is often talked about on the internet 2) make light of something people who read People probably don’t understand (consumerist swine!). More proof of Gosling’s internet popularity is the “Hey Girl” meme that exploded across Tumblr. If you haven’t seen it (thanks for reading my article, Mom and Dad!), a sexy picture of Gosling gets captioned with him saying something nice to a girl by starting, “Hey girl.” Example gratium, courtesy of Feminist Ryan Gosling (feministryangosling.tumblr. com): “Hey girl. We can be supportive of gender variance even while we get our bounce on.” “Hey girl. The post-feminist fetishization of Motherhood is deeply rooted in classism, but I still think we’d make cute babies.” “Hey girl. We don’t need arbitrary beauty archetypes steeped in historically biased ideologies pumped out by mediocre archaic forms of media to define our sexiness.” So imagine that next to a hot dude. Gosling has acknowledged the memes and even calls himself a feminist, saying to the Daily Telegraph that

being raised by a single mom with sisters makes him “think like a girl.” Gosling went on to say he’s done making movies when he starts “making babies.” He’s sensitive, sexy, and he wants kids! Sure, he seems to only date famous women (Sandra Bullock, Rachel McAdams, Eva Mendes, etc.), but you’re special! Maybe he could love you! He’ll make the perfect husband (providing you ignore Blue Valentine)!

The Myth Imagine you’re using your cellphone to record strangers fighting (and since you want to upload it to Youtube later, you make no attempt to try and stop the fight). Suddenly, a manhunk shows up and ruins your video — except that man-hunk is Ryan Gosling! Uploading this could mean a million views (and potentially ten or twenty channel subscribers!) This dream is a reality for SINZHOTSPOT (follow her!) — but thankfully, it proves my point. Gosling is a nice guy. He had no idea he was being filmed. He stopped a fight just because human beings should help one another! Gosling does cool shit every day. Need proof? The Daily Mail caught him strumming a “strumstick” (like a ukelele) on a sidewalk in the Village; he told GQ he goes around NYC at night to tag graffiti; he owns a Moroccan resturant in LA which he renovated himself, by hand; he sends letters on behalf of PETA and goes to Africa to raise money for charity. He has an indie rock band (Dead Man’s Bones) that got a solid score from Pitchfork. He recently started taking ballet classes for fun. It starts to sound like Gosling is a mascot for beer commercials — something akin to PBR, but tastier, more expensive and extra-fuckable. This is all true stuff; I kept out untrue stuff for journalistic accuracy (good idea, huh?). But even the lies are cool! Gosling is an internet-created folk hero that entertains us (Gosling has four movies coming out next year), distracts us (from work, politics and the near-impending apocalypse of 2012) and ultimately articulates what we care about most: good-looking people who do trendy, popular things.

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keeping the voice alive

SPEAK Cafe gives the community a chance to speak

by Andrea Baumgartner


he dimly lit Palette Cafe in the Krannert Art Museum at the University of Illinois was standing room only, with returning patrons and newcomers alike eager to hear the spoken word of local poets and hip-hop artists. Majestic purple and sunflower gold walls were speckled with shelves holding books and coffee bags. One wall of end-to-end windows looked onto Peabody Drive, glistening from rain. Black, round tables anchored bodies looking toward the DJ and makeshift stage for the performers. Creamy orange sweet potato pie was being passed around as the audience sipped their coffee and waited for the night’s event to begin. Carol Ammons, a lively woman with an infectious smile, stepped up to the microphone. “SPEAK Café is not a place that we are in competition or judgment,” she said. “SPEAK Café is a place where people can come and share whatever it is that is on their heart, whatever it comes from. That’s what it’s about.” SPEAK Café, named for its blend of song, poetry, expression, art and knowledge, was created 6 years ago by William Patterson of the department of African American studies. Started as a project in one of the classes he taught, SPEAK was based on the ideas of the Wu-Tang Clan, a revolutionary rap group from the mid 90s that emphasized the ideology of hip-hop artistry and money in urban America. SPEAK Café is now an open-mic public space for hip-hop, activism and Black Power expression that has become a collaboration between the Krannert Art Museum and department of African American studies to reach out to minority groups in ChampaignUrbana. SPEAK Café has also become a tool to help struggling students in local high schools, and to show the benefits of arts education. “When I did the class,” Patterson said, “it was really to look at the whole notion of what are the rules of engagement as it is related to money for [the] hip-hop generation.” At the same time, Patterson was working with museum director Kathleen Harleman on community and campus outreach. “They were very excited when considering the idea of developing partners and relationships between units on campus,” said Patterson. “And African American studies was one of the departments that Kathleen wanted to connect with in terms of outreach in the community.” SPEAK took off. Patterson brought together student poets who he had heard perform around campus. Also, Aaron Ammons, the husband of Carol Ammons and a well-known local artist and activist, initiated the first SPEAK Café events with other community members. Anne Sautman, who runs education programs and public events for the museum, said she sees SPEAK Café as a way to bring more minority people to the museum. “Historically, museums cater to white, fairly 10


Used with permsion from John Jennings

educated, middle class to upper middle class citizens,” she said. “So museums are always trying to diversify their audiences, and SPEAK Café definitely pulls in more minorities.” Aaron Ammons, the emcee at SPEAK Café, is expanding the program beyond the walls of the museum in hopes of reaching a younger crowd. “Aaron does a lot of things with the Independent Media Center in town,” said Sautman. “So he has taken the success of SPEAK Café and found other venues in town to replicate more spoken word events, and then he reaches out to local high schools and works with them, too.” Krannert Art Museum also has an after school arts program with Rantoul Township High School about 12 miles north of Champaign-Urbana. There, the museum works with the art and creative writing teachers to help high school students become more eloquent in not only the spoken word, but also their self expression through art. After the Rantoul students present their works publicly, the teachers tell Sautman how much of a positive impact the program has had. “They’ve really seen some of these students change through this program,” she said. “They used to not want to go to school and were really negative and not wanting to participate in class, but after Art Speak, this program, they seem to be more open to trying things and are more expressive and have the confidence and are more engaged and not dropping out.” According to the United States Department of Education, 8.1 percent of high school students were dropouts in 2009. More significantly, 5.2 percent of Caucasians drop out, while African American and Hispanic dropout rates were 9.3 percent and 17.6 percent, respectively. These higher dropout rates in the minority groups also correlate with lower arts educa-

tion rates of minority groups. E.C. Hedberg, a research scientist for the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, found that 57.9 percent of whites between the ages of 18 and 24 reported receiving arts education as a child, compared to 28.1 percent of Hispanics and 26.2 percent of African-Americans. The No Child Left Behind law, federal and state testing has driven schools — particularly innercity schools with heavy minority populations — to focus more exclusively on science, social studies and literature. Arts and music are routinely shortchanged in many districts. “I think the arts offer a lot, and it really helps you reflect,” said Sautman. “It helps you connect with other people, broaden your horizon so you understand how you fit in this world. It helps critical thinking, and many of the skills learned through art can be applied to other areas of education. Teachers see the connection and see their students grow when they get exposed to the arts. It’s not always tangible, and it can’t be tested, but it’s there.” The arts improve cognitive skills of students and have major impact on test scores. UCLA’s Graduate School of Education and Information Studies reported that 10th and 12th graders involved in the arts had a clear advantage over those less involved in the arts at all income levels. In standardized testing, the students who were more involved with the arts performed 16 to 18 percentage points better than their peers not involved. The study also showed a positive correlation between music and proficiency in math, a widely noted phenomenon. Although $100 billion in federal stimulus money for education was given to help fund schooling, the bulk of the total $814 billion provided under the American Recovery and

Reinvestment Act passed in 2009 went to save jobs of teachers and other school employees. As soon as this money dries up within the next few years, there will be thousands of layoffs, and popular school programs, including the arts, will be the first dropped. To students at the U of I, like juniors Eboni Price and Tattiera Green, SPEAK Café has helped opened their eyes. “Even though I haven’t had experience with some of these issues, we all know someone who has,” said Price. Price has been to SPEAK Café before, but her friend Tattiera was a newcomer. “I love the different forms of expression and how SPEAK Café has opened up the art world to the spoken word,” said Green. Sundiata Keita Cha-Jua, a professor of AfricanAmerican studies who spoke at SPEAK Café on the socio-cultural aspects of African Americans in a white society, said it’s important to the African American community. “SPEAK Café is a place, on one hand, where people can affirm who they are,” he said. “They can affirm positive things about appearance and culture—they can affirm their blackness—and criticize their experiences of societies and grow in the community they are in.” Patterson said he sees the potential for SPEAK Café to become a national program to help keep the arts alive. “It would be a good idea for other art museums,” he said. “If they want to engage in the community in a variety of installations that are diverse and progressive, then it would be great to add to their repertoire. It can definitely serve as a catalyst and has been a catalyst to change in terms of the relationship it has built with the community, not just minorities.”

Hey girl.

January 5 - 11, 2012

CUTTING EDGE GLEAMS WITH GLEE Local show choir sings what you want to hear by Corinne Ruff


t’s the craze that’s swept pop culture since its TV debut. It’s singing, it’s dancing — it’s glee club. The all student-run group Cutting Edge is no new addition to campus; in fact, it’s been around for over 100 years. They usually put together 3 shows a year and incorporate a variety of song styles. Not your average choir boys and girls, they’ve covered hit pop songs by Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Mariah Carey and many more contemporary artists. For the spring concert this year, they’ve compiled an 80s medley mashup. “We really are a lot like Glee,” says president Meg Sands. “We sing a lot of the same stuff as they do on the show.” Spending around four hours a week rehearsing, the quaint group has become extremely tightknit. With such a small group, they are able to really get to know each other’s talents and weaknesses and help each other along the way. The group is divided into an array of committees which all work to put together the final show. There are songs to be chosen, steps to be created and costumes to be picked. Because choreography is such a key factor in the club, a few people

must be given the responsibility of coming up with the steps and teaching them to everyone else. This is a great way for students to get involved and see how their hard work can pay off. “I love the environment at Cutting Edge. We’re all so close that we’re almost like a sorority or fraternity. Even though we always have more we can do and it can be stressful at times, I’m still with some of my best friends the whole way through,” says Meg about the atmosphere of rehearsals. Cutting Edge is the only show choir on campus, combining singing, dancing and wild piano playing. This sort of entertainment is one that college students can really relate to. The songs they sing are the ones that play on the radio every day. “We can sing whatever we want. Since we’re all student-run, we never sing anything we don’t want to,” says junior Kevin Dwyer. Although surrounded by masses of a cappella groups on campus, show choir really shines as something different in the mix. It offers the accompaniment of a powerful visual. The group stands out in flashy sequined tops or vibrant colors. Their energy and dancing make for a fun club on campus to get involved with or just go see.

Used with permission from the Creative Commons

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JANUARY 5 - 11, 2012

SUBMIT YOUR EVENT TO THE CALENDAR: Online: forms available at • E-mail: send your notice to • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar

Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

THURSDAY 5 Art & other exhibits Warriors, Guardians, and Demons Spurlock Museum 9am Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion 9am

Live music & karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Memphis on Main 9pm

Miscellaneous Preschool Story Time Rantoul Public Library 10am Raising Readers Rantoul Public Library 10:30am Raising Readers Rantoul Public Library 3:30pm Chess Club Rantoul Public Library 3:30 Afterschool Fairytale Ballet with Kate Insolia Amara Yoga & Arts 4pm

Movies & theater Gruesome Playground Injuries @ The Station Theatre The Station Theatre 8pm

Sports, games & recreation Chess Club Rantoul Public Library 3:30pm

FRIDAY 6 Art & other exhibits Warriors, Guardians, and Demons Spurlock Museum 9am Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion 9am 12


Live music & karaoke Karaoke w/ DJ Bange Phoenix 9pm 1st Friday Blues Memphis on Main 9:30pm Hurricane Ruth w/ The Diva & The Dude! Memphis on Main 8pm DJ Delayney Highdive 11pm West Side Salsa Highdive 8pm

Mind, body, & spirit Community Yoga with Lisa Haake - All levels Amara Yoga & Arts 7pm

Movies & theater Gruesome Playground Injuries The Station Theatre 8pm

SATURDAY 7 Art & other exhibits Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion 9pm Warriors, Guardians, and Demons Spurlock Museum 10am

Mind, body & spirit Yoga and the Nervous System with Lisa Haake Amara Yoga & Arts 2pm Yoga Fundamentals with Linda Lehovec Amara Yoga & Arts 9pm Power Flow Yoga with Corrie Proksa Amara Yoga & Arts 4pm

Miscellaneous Fairytale Ballet with Kate Insolia Amara Yoga & Arts 12:15pm

KIds Arts & Crafts

Playshops with Kathryn Fitzgerald Amara Yoga & Arts 11:30am Kids Yoga with Kathryn Fitzgerald Amara Yoga & Arts 10:30am

Movies & theater Gruesome Playground Injuries The Station Theatre 8pm

SUNDAY 8 Art & other exhibits Warriors, Guardians, and Demons Spurlock Museum 12pm

Mind, body & spirit Yoga 101 Workshop with Linda Lehovec Amara Yoga & Arts 12:00:00 Groovin’ Yoga with Maggie Taylor and musical friends Amara Yoga & Arts 4pm Yoga for Men, Dudes, and Regular Guys with Jim Rector Amara Yoga & Arts 6:30pm

Miscellaneous Big Homie presents Open Mic Night Phoenix 7pm Big Dave’s Trivia Cowboy Monkey 7pm

Movies & theater Gruesome Playground Injuries The Station Theatre 8pm

Mind, body, & spirit Hatha Yoga with Grace Giorgio Amara Yoga & Arts 12am Restorative Yoga with Maggie Taylor Amara Yoga & Arts 7pm Hatha Yoga with Grace Giorgio Amara Yoga & Arts 5:30pm Power Flow Yoga with Corrie Proksa Amara Yoga & Arts 12am Power Flow Yoga with Corrie Proksa Amara Yoga & Arts 12am

Miscellaneous Children’s Winter Reading Program Rantoul Public Library 9am

Sports, games, & recreation Bingo Night Memphis on Main 10pm

TUESDAY 10 Art & other exhibits

Home School Club Rantoul Public Library 2pm

WEDNESDAY 11 Art & other exhibits Warriors, Guardians, and Demons Spurlock Museum 9am Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion 9am

Live music & karaoke Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey 7:30pm Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey 10pm 312 Vibe Night Canopy Club 9pm

Movies & theater Gruesome Playground Injuries The Station Theatre 8pm

Live music & karaoke Warriors, Guardians, and Demons Spurlock Museum 12am

Live music & karaoke

Poetry Workshop Red Herring Coffeehouse 7:30pm

Live music & karaoke

Mind, body, & spirit

80’S NIGHT Highdive 10pm

Vinyasa Flow Yoga with Maggie Taylor Amara Yoga & Arts

Classes, lectures, & workshops


Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion 9am

Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey 10pm Jeff Arrigo & John Coppess The Clark Bar 7pm Piano Man Canopy Club 9pm




Complete listing available at


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January 5 - 11, 2012

buz z ’s WEEK AHEAD Getting my wisdom teeth removed and coincidentally, cuddle up day

Free Fitness Classes at the Champaign Park District

January 6, 2012. Chicago

Park district facilities in Champaign and Savoy Jan 3-Jan 8 Free!

This wisdom teeth removal has been in the making for years now. Every time I went to the

The Champaign Park District is offering one week of free group fitness classes. This is a great way to kick start that new year’s resolution that you would start working out regularly (yeah, right). But with the help of these free classes, perhaps you really will start getting in shape! You go, girlfriend!—Amy Harwath, Community Editor

dentist, she would always say, “Well, we’ll see how they’re doing the next time you come in.” This began like, three years ago. And finally, at my last visit in August, she said it was time. So, January 6th I’ll be knocked out, have my gums cut open, my teeth pulled out and then be stitched back together. I’m going to be puffy and swollen, and I’m going to be grumpy. This uneasiness can be ameliorated in several ways: by bringing me ice cream, by sitting and listening to me cry and whine or cuddling. Or all three. It’ll be a fun day. — Sam Bakall, Food & Drink Editor

Old Rock Day Saturday, January 7 Everywhere Old Rock Day is a day to appreciate old rocks and fossils. Have you ever seen a dinosaur at the museum and appreciated it? You appreciated it at the wrong day. Go back on January 7 and appreciate that fucking rock.— Adam Barnett, Music Editor

APARTMENTS Unfurnished


705 S. Randolph, C. 3 BR Now Avialable! $590. Near Campus and Downtown Champaign. Call 217-352-8540 or view at

SEASONAL SPECIAL 403 E. Elm, Urbana $525 - Move In NOW W/D in unit includes trash and parking 217-384-8001

Rarely Available

Move In Today!!! 403 E. Elm, Urbana Washer/Dryer in Unit Parking & Trash Included $550/month 217-384-8001 The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

SEMESTER LEASE Jan 2012 Great 1BR and 2BR in Urbana, FREE parking and some free utilities, laundry, on bus lines to campus, and best of all.....

a short-term lease! (217) 637-4104 or (217) 352-4104



207 Green Champaign by Red Lion, Brand New, Low Rent. Call to inquire. 630-981-4978.

New Building on Stoughton

$503.75/mo. Roommates easy to get along with. Utilities are extra but reasonable. All male roommates. Near Springfield/Wright bus stop. Inunit Washer/Dryer. Call (618) 401-4208 or email paulschristianson@gmailcom



Fall 2012 3 and 6 bedroom 2 bath houses. Great Campus Locations. 778-2094

6 Bedrooms

Furnished Remodled Large Campus House. Fall 2012. On Wright St. across from nano engineering. Free parking and laundry. 778-2094. Fall 2012


101 E. Armory, 8-11 person 803 S. First, 8-9 person 312 E. Clark, 4-5 person 314 E. Clark, 5-6 person 303 S. Fifth, 4-5 person 337-8852

806 W. Springfield, Urbana


712 W California in Urbana Available 2012. 10 bedroom, 2 bathroom house, washer & dryer, and close to all bus lines. $269/room. Call George (217) 367 6626



Campus rooms for rent from $280. 367-6627

Short-term Lease

Large, furnished room available immediately in beautiful Victorian house, two blocks from campus, Urbana. Family-style, co-ed living with other graduate students. Includes many amenities and utilities. Six month lease. $515/mo. Julie: 630-759-5932,

Roommate Needed for Spring 2012 1 BR available in 2 BR apartment at Lando Place for spring 2012 semester. Great location. Rent negotiable. Contact if interested: 630-310-9105,

PARKING / STORAGE 570 Parking Engineering Campus 4 Blocks to Union $40.00/month 344-3008

PARKING Lincoln & Green 5th/6th & White 1st & Daniel Oak & John


ROOMMATE WANTED 550 Roommate Needed

One bedroom in 4 bedroom apartment available on Engineering/ Computer Science campus. Everything included (Utilities, internet, TV). Fully furnished (including TV, kitchen stuff and all). Total $495/mo. 4 or 6 month lease. 344-3008

House Hunting at its finest

5 bedroom furnished duplex


$2400/month 13 3 bathrooms Parking Included Central a/c Pet Friendly The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 217-384-8001

Daily Illini

Apartment search


Looking for a job?

classifieds. buzz   



JANUARY 5 - 11, 2012

Place an Ad: 217 - 337 - 8337 Deadline: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition. INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.




Part time


Get great experience with pets and animal nutrition as a part-time sales associate for Prairieland FeedsAmerica's Country Store. Knowledge of pets/horses helpful. Some heavy lifting required. Ask for a manager. 352-2232.


Fluent in French, Italian, German, or Greek? $15/hr NOW for interesting recording project. Contact Mark at (217) 417-7454 Email FOR RENT




Furnished/Unfurnished BEST OFFER CAMPUS 1 Bedroom Loft 2 Bedroom 3 Bedroom 4 Bedroom Campus. 367-6626 Available August 2012



102 S. LINCOLN URBANA (Green & Lincoln)

506 E White, C. 503 E Clark, C. 717 W Elm, U.

(217) 337-8852 ----------

Efficiencies, 2, 3, & 4 BR's. (217) 840-5134 602 E. Clark St. SEMESTER LEASES Available January 15 thru May 15. Furnished Studio apartments across from Beckman Institute. $395/mo includes trash hauling, recycling and sewer fees. Other utilities not included. Call for an immediate showing. Wampler Property Management 217-352-1335

602 E. CLARK

Available Now! Furnished studio apartments. Block east of Beckman. $415/mo including recycling, sewer and trash. Wampler Property Management 217-352-1335

Photo Sellers

30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

Garage Sales

30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads

• 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $20 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $10 • add a photo to an action ad, $10




(217) 337-8852 ----------


(217) 337-8852 ----------



(217) 337-8852 ----------

•Walk to U of I Campus – Apartments & Houses only 1 to 4 blocks away! •Laundry in Apartment, Furnished, Internet •1,2,3 Bedroom Apartments •2,3,4 Bedroom Houses

Fall 2012 2, 3 & 4 Bedrooms FREE INTERNET



1 Bedroom 901 W. Springfield, U $ 520-570 911 W. Springfield, U $ 525-595 1004 W. Springfield, U $ 499-529 2 Bedroom 901 W. Springfield, U $ 695-$740 111 S. Lincoln, U $ 795 3 Bedroom 1010 W. Springfield U $ 999-1272

(217) 337-8852 ----------


(217) 337-8852 ----------

805 S. LOCUST CHAMPAIGN Fall 2012 2 & 4 Bedroom Apts BI-LEVEL

For Info: (217) 344-3008 911 W. Springfield, Urbana


3 bedrooms

Great Campus Locations. Furnished & Remodeled. Fall 2012. 2 baths, free parking and laundry. 778-2094.

SMITH APARTMENTS Now Renting for August 2012 217-384-1925

1 Bedroom

610 W. Stoughton, U. 1004 S. Locust, C. 1106 S. Second, C.

2 Bedroom

58 E. Armory, C. 201 E. Armory, C. 604 W. Stoughton,C. 1004 S. Locust, C. 1009 W. Clark, U. 1010 W. Clark, U. 1012 W. Clark, U.

$500 $655 $550

$870 $930 $1000+ $640 - $850 $755 $845 $755

Parking & laundry available Apartments Furnished

 Efficiencies 104 E. John 312 E. White 1103 S. Euclid






1 Bedrooms

508 S. First 108 W. Charles 104 E. John 103 E. Healey 105 S. Fourth 108 1/2 E. Daniel 310 E. Clark 106 E. Armory 308 E. Armory 312 E. White 507 S. Elm, C.

2 Bedrooms

4 Bedrooms

104 E. John 105 S. Fourth 208/210 E. White 308 E. Armory 312 E. White 1103 S. Euclid

308 E. Armory 1103 S. Euclid 807 S. Locust 208 / 210 E. White 306 E. Armory

3 Bedrooms

1103 S. Euclid 306 E. Armory

1103 S. Euclid 807 S. Locust 208/ 210 E. White 312 E. White 104 E. John 306 E. Armory

5 Bedrooms Houses

509 S. Elm, C. 314 E. White 108 E. Daniel 106 E. Armory 106 ½ E. Armory

Call for an appointment



705 S. First St., C 3 & 4 bedroom furnished apartments for 2012. No pets. Schedule to see them before they're gone! 217-367-2009


(217) 337-8852 ---------More information, floor plans, interior pictures, etc. (217) 337-8852



4 Bedroom 1010 W. Springfield, U $ 1696


Fall 2012 1 Bedroom Apts with PAID UTILITIES!

calendar check it out!

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2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition. Billed rate: 43¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 37¢/word


1009 First St., Champaign Now leasing for 2012-13 Great location! 3BR & 4BR units $1370- $1900 Managed by Ramshaw Real Estate. Call 359-6400 or email

Deadline: Rates:

Furnished   January 5 - 11, 2012

Hey girl you look good.


(March 21-April 19) The Sanskrit word *tapasya* is translated as “heat,” but in the yogic tradition it iimeans “essential energy.” It refers to the practice of managing your life force so that it can be directed to the highest possible purposes, thereby furthering your evolution as a spiritual being. Do you have any techniques for accomplishing that -- either through yoga or any other techniques? This would be a good year to redouble your commitment to that work. In the coming months, the world will just keep increasing its output of trivial, energy-wasting temptations. You’ll need to be pretty fierce if you want to continue the work of transforming yourself into the Aries you were born to be: focused, direct, energetic, and full of initiative.



(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)


(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

(April 20-May 20)


(May 21-June 20)

Comedian Steven Wright says his nephew has HDADD, or High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. “He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.” I’m predicting something like that for you in the coming week, Gemini. You will encounter more things that are dull than are interesting, but those few that fascinate you will awaken an intense focus that allows you to see into the heart of reality.

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21) I suspect you may soon find yourself in a situation similar to the one that 19th-century American President Abraham Lincoln was in when he said the following: “If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” In other words, Sagittarius, you may not be picky about what you want, but whatever it is, you’ll prefer it to be authentic, pure, and distinctly itself. Adulterations and hodgepodges won’t satisfy you, and they won’t be useful. Hold out for the Real Thing.


(June 21-July 22)


As I contemplate the most desirable fate you could create for yourself, I’m reminded of a lyric from one of my songs: “We are searching for the answers / so we can destroy them and dream up better questions.” Here’s what I’m implying by that, Cancerian: This is not the right time for you to push for comprehensive formulas and definitive solutions. Rather, it’s a favorable moment to draw up the incisive inquiries that will frame your quest for comprehensive formulas and definitive solutions. That quest is due to begin in two weeks. For now, raise your curiosity levels, intensify your receptivity, and make yourself highly magnetic to core truths.


(July 23-Aug. 22)

“A writer -- and, I believe, generally all persons -must think that whatever happens to him or her is a resource,” said author Jorge Luis Borges. “All that happens to us, including our humiliations, our misfortunes, our embarrassments, all is given to us as raw material, as clay, so that we may shape our art.” I agree that this advice isn’t just for writers, but for everyone. And it so happens that you are now in an astrological phase when adopting such an approach would bring you abundant wisdom and provide maximum healing. So get started, Leo: Wander through your memories, reinterpreting the difficult experiences as rich raw material that you can use to beautify your soul and intensify your lust for life.


(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

“Poetry is the kind of thing you have to see from the corner of your eye,” said the poet William Stafford. “If you look straight at it you can’t see it, but if you look a little to one side it is there.” As I contemplate your life in the immediate future, Virgo, I’m convinced that his definition of poetry will be useful for you to apply to just about everything. In fact, I think it’s an apt description of all the important phenomena you’ll need to know about. Better start practicing your sideways vision.

by Matt Jones

“Ring in the New Year”--this round’s on me.

A Swedish man named Richard Handl decided to conduct a scientific experiment in his kitchen. Would it be possible to split atoms using a homemade apparatus? He wanted to see if he could generate atomic reactions with the radioactive elements radium, americium, and uranium. But before he got too far into the process, the police intervened and ended his risky fairy-tale. I bring this to your attention, Libra, as an example of how not to proceed in the coming weeks. It *will* be a good time for you to experiment around the house -- refining your relationship with your roommates, moving the furniture around, and in general rearranging the domestic chemistry -- but please avoid trying stuff as crazy as Handl’s.


”Live out of your imagination, not your history,” says Stephen Covey, author of *The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.* While that’s always true, it will be especially crucial for you to remember in 2012. This is the year you can transcend stale traditions, Taurus -- a time when you can escape your outworn habits, reprogram your conditioned responses, and dissolve old karma. You will be getting unparalleled opportunities to render the past irrelevant. And the key to unlocking all the magic will be your freewheeling yet highly disciplined imagination. Call on it often to show you the way toward the future.


In 1878, Thomas Edison perfected the phonograph, a machine that could record sounds and play them back. There had been some primitive prototypes before, but his version was a major improvement. And what were the first sounds to be immortalized on Edison’s phonograph? The rush of the wind in the trees? A dramatic reading of the Song of Songs? The cries of a newborn infant? Nope. Edison recited the nursery rhyme, “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” When you make your own breakthrough in communication sometime soon, Scorpio, I hope you deliver a more profound and succulent message.


(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Last summer, before the football season started, sportswriter Eric Branch wrote about a rookie running back that San Francisco 49er fans were becoming increasingly excited about. The newbie had made some big plays in exhibition games. Would he continue performing at a high level when the regular season began? Were the growing expectations justified? After a careful analysis, Branch concluded that the signs were promising, but not yet definitive: “It’s OK to go mildly berserk,” he informed the fans. That’s the same message I’m delivering to you right now, Capricorn. The early stages of your new possibility are encouraging. It’s OK to go mildly berserk, but it’s not yet time to go totally bonkers.


(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In summer, the pickleweed plant thrives in the saltwater marshes around San Francisco Bay. In many places, bright orange patches of the dodder plant intermingle with the pickleweed’s sprightly jade green, creating festive displays that suggest nature is having a party. But there’s a secret buried in this scene. The dodder’s webby filaments are actually parasites that suck nutrients from the pickleweed. In accordance with the astrological omens, Aquarius, I’ll ask you if a situation like that exists in your own life. Is there a pretty picture that hides an imbalance in the give-and-take of energy? It’s not necessarily a bad thing -- after all, the pickleweed grows abundantly even with its freeloader hanging all over it -- but it’s important to be conscious of what’s going on.

(Feb. 19-March 20) PISCES “That in a person which cannot be domesticated is not his evil but his goodness,” said the writer Antonio Porchia. I invite you to keep that challenging thought close to your heart in the coming days, Pisces. In my astrological opinion, it is an excellent moment to tune in to your wildest goodness -- to describe it to yourself, to cherish it as the great treasure it is, to foster it and celebrate it and express it like a spring river overflowing its banks.

Stumped? Find the solutions in the Classifieds pages.

Across 1 Psych ending 5 Former Anaheim Stadium football player 10 Response: abbr. 13 ___-Rooter 14 Sponge by 3M 15 “In the Valley of ___” (2007 Tommy Lee Jones film) 16 Car feature 19 Crammed down someone’s throat 20 ___ Pass (one way to travel across the Alps) 21 Lukas of “Witness” 22 The abbreviated Dickens? 23 How goods are sold to break even 26 Host Donahue or McGraw 27 Binge 30 Former Yankees manager Joe 31 Singer that married Heidi Klum 32 Gangster’s girl 33 With “The,” 1994 movie with Anthony Hopkins and Dana Carvey 36 Shade trees 37 Gearshift position 38 Ingredient in salsa 39 Clairvoyant’s claim 40 Game that spawned The Urbz, with “The” 41 Papers under the windshield

wiper 42 E! show, with “The” 43 Seedy housing area 44 What the Gray Panthers fight 47 Monty Python-inspired musical 51 Queen song covered by Nine Inch Nails 53 Philosopher Descartes 54 Humble home 55 Property debt 56 Rap sheet abbr. 57 Went ballistic 58 IDs often verified by the last 4 digits

Down 1 “Carmina Burana” composer Carl 2 Matador’s foe 3 “Like ___ not...” 4 “Flight of the ___” 5 Like some cottage cheese 6 Needs a rubdown 7 Oboist’s piece 8 The A of IPA 9 You can make a mountain out of one 10 Actress Shawkat of “Arrested Development” 11 “Avatar” language 12 “Where the Sidewalk Ends” author Silverstein

15 Makes a mistake 17 Cups, saucers, etc. 18 Like some citizens 22 Sidewalk outline stuff 23 “Fish in ___? How can that be?” (“Hop on Pop” line) 24 Shed spread 25 Charlie horse, e.g. 26 Jury members 27 Hollywood’s highest-paid actress of 2011 28 ___ nothing 29 Secluded spots 31 Wetland area 32 Some shopping centers 34 One of two fought between the U.K. and China 35 Car stereo control 40 Just meh 41 Broke off like talc 42 Team 43 “SNL” alum David 44 Taj Mahal’s locale 45 Techie, stereotypically 46 Active Sicilian volcano 47 EPA topic 48 Carter Pewterschmidt’s daughter, on “Family Guy” 49 Pizza joint fixture 50 Till compartment 52 Org. with a late start in 2011



January 5 - 11, 2012 



buzz word beatdown Coulter puts some tiring office lingo to rest I have developed a nice little shorthand with most of the people I work with, and this is really great for me. This is because I say things like “doo hickey” and “that interweb deal.” They generally know what I’m saying because they are really good and have spent several years learning to decipher my idiocy. When I talk to other people, I assume they’re idiots just like me because they also say some weird shit. It turns out there are a lot of strange little phrases in the workplace, and most people are getting very tired of them.

don’t really hear Kardashian, Bieber or tomfoolery. If I hear those things, I immediately check the hell out. “Loop me in” was also on the list and falls into the same kind of category. I have little desire to do any looping of any sort. I have no desire to loop another, and I would greatly appreciate it if no looping was done to me. For the love of God, keep all your looping to yourselves. Many people, about 19%, were very tired of hearing people say “best of breed.” I have not ever heard this in a work setting, but I would imagine it’s easy to pick out the person who would think it was a cool thing to say. Put this person in a room with fifty other regular people, and I pick them out. I would do this I have heard “mission critical” used, could by finding the person whose head I wouldn’t piss on if his hair was on fire. and 19% hated that, as well. When That is the person who would use “best I have heard this used, it’s all I can of breed.” “Incentivize” also got 19%. I have no do to keep from laughing. It just freaking idea what that even means. sounds so important. Sure, it’s swell I wouldn’t even attempt to use it because nothing is worse than using a to imagine your little job is like dumbass phrase incorrectly. one of those Mission Impossible I have heard “mission critical” used, and 19% hated that, as well. When I assignments, but it’s probably not. have heard this used, it’s all I can do to keep from laughing. It just sounds so Career Builder asked 5,000 workers what jar- important. Sure, it’s swell to imagine your little gon should be retired with the coming of the job is like one of those Mission Impossible assignNew Year. The list is more annoying than fun, ments, but it’s probably not. When most people and virtually all the little sayings gave me a pain say “mission critical,” what they likely mean is, in the ass. I’ve heard most of them, usually said “Mission optional, but we should do it anyway, by people who like to sound important or clever just in case someone asks about it.” Maybe that’s or like to be called a dipshit behind their back. If just too much to remember. everyone spent less time making crap like this “Bring to the table” got 18%. This is not a good up, they’d probably get a whole lot more work phrase for me. Forget about the world of work, done, but whatever — let’s have a look at some I’m not a good “bring to the table” guy in my of the douchbaggery. real life. If I’m going to some sort of potluck, “Outside the Box” was hated by 31% of the here’s what I’m bringing to the table: a couple people surveyed. I’d be fine if they retired that of bags of potato chips. In a business setting, one now. I remember when I sort of liked it, but at all I bring to the table is a couple of smartass this juncture, saying “outside the box” comes off comments and a unique misunderstanding of as a kind of “inside the box” sort of statement. I do that particular situation. like saying “off the grid,” but even that is getting I actually like “elevator pitch,” which got 16% pretty close to saturation. hatred. It’s very quick, and my only problem “Low hanging fruit” was despised by 24% of is I’m not on an elevator all that much. On the the workers out there. I’ve heard that phrase other hand, I’ve heard a few “bathroom pitchquite a bit, but it’s usually referring to my fa- es,” and I will say I’m not a fan. The bathroom vorite baseball team signing very untalented is not for pitching... or catching, I suppose. No pitchers. It also sounds like it could be a terrible subject is ever important enough for a “bathgay joke from an old All in the Family episode. room pitch.” There were a few other phrases, Still, I don’t feel like I’ve heard it a ton. I suppose but I either hadn’t heard them or didn’t find that’s good and means I don’t spend a lot of them all that annoying just yet. Either way, I time speaking about jackarounds. much prefer the old phrases I’m used to hearing “Synergy” was in third place with 23% not car- all the time. Phrases like, “try not to fuck this ing for it. I never really hear it all that much. In all up” and “pretend it’s important.” I never tire of fairness, though, I probably wouldn’t be paying hearing those. If nothing else, they give me just super close attention to the type of person who enough comfort to relax. As a bonus, I don’t would actually say “synergy.” I could hear it all have to spend a lot of time trying to figure out the time and not even notice in the same way I what they mean. 16


Buzz Magazine: Jan. 5, 2012  

Jan. 5, 2012

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