GIRL ADVICE Thy word is a LAMP unto my feet, and a light unto my path. (Psalms 119:105)
G.I.R.L’s very own mummy, MRS MAGARET ALAABI draws upon biblical truths and decades of experience to give practical lifestyle advice and guidance through Godly counsel.
LONG DISTANCE MARRIAGE My husband has recently acquired the job of his dreams. The international job however means that he has to work aboard for several months at a time. I find it very difficult to cope at times as I miss his closeness, our intimacy and the physical support we gave each other. When he is away I establish routines that work for the family. When my husband returns he does not acknowledge the routines that work for us in absence, in fact he has a very blasé approach. I want to respect his position in home but it is very difficult to accept the fact that he avoids all conversations about the topic and it adamant to do “his own thing” with a very nonchalant way. What approach do I need to use?
Hence you are accustomed to your husband always being a part of most or all decisions taken in the family. Now that he works abroad and you now have to take decisions that you think will work for the family in your husband’s absence, he may feel that this is an infringement on his authority as the head of the family. That may be part of the reason for his seemingly biased approach. My advice therefore is to commit the matter to God in prayer and bring up the matter with your husband at an appropriate time . Be sure not to not nag or get him bored with the library of complaints and problems you have stored up in your emotions. Let him know that the routine you have worked out is not the final, and it can be adjusted with whatever input he has to put in. I'm very sure with prayer this will work.
Think of the good times you've shared together and all that you do as a married couple and as parents is for the best interest of the family. Also fulfilling his dream is what you really want for him so continue to show your support as best as you could. You could seek counsel from people who are presently in your situation (I mean other women whose husbands are abroad) and they may be able to take you through how they have been able to cope with missing their spouses closeness. Due to the fact that you and your husband have always been close before he went abroad, you are obviously used to making decisions together.
CAREER WOMAN My husband and I have very demanding careers and often work long hours. The nature of my job also means that I have to bring allot of work home, which means that I rarely have free time. I do my best to keep up with the house tasks and running the family as well as balancing my career, but I struggle sometimes. How do I get my husband to understand that if we work as a team, it will be beneficial for the two of us?
My dear sister i do understand that being a career woman can be demanding. My advice is your marriage or family demands should not be planned around your but your career/work plan around your marriage. Your marriage and family comes first and career comes second. Often times we make the mistake of working our marriage and family around our jobs and career thereby making our job the centre point of our daily life. I believe it should be the other way round. It is not about your husband understanding it is about you putting your marriage first and then family and lastly your career. The woman described in Proverbs 31 is so exemplary and so virtuous, and so diligent to perform all her duties that women today, who have a heart to please God, may find it difficult or even discouraging to try to follow her example. With that and prayer, God will direct you and things will work well.
CHARACTER QUALITIES OF A PROVERBS 31 WOMAN Let us pray and ask God for growth in these areas
STRUGGLING WITH CELIBACY My boyfriend and I having been dating for a couple of years and have kept ourselves sexually pure throughout our relationship. We are now engaged and will be married in eight months. Both of us are Christians and we have been praying and asking God to help us control our sexual desires for each other, because we are beginning to feel that since we are getting married soon anyway it should be OK. How do we deal with our feelings? The time of courtship is not a time to start having sexual feeling for each other, sexual feelings must not be in the equation. Courtship t
is a time prayer, intimacy with God the father, Son and Holy Spirit. it is a time of establishing a deeper and more cordial relationship with God who instituted marriage and can help us live a peaceful and happy married life. You can occupy yourself with reading Christian literature on marriage. Find Godly activities and you will not have time to entertain sexual desires let alone trying to deal with it. The Bible says the marriage bed must be kept undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). Also know that your body is the temple of the Holy spirit and you won't want it defile it before the wedding day (1 Corinthians 6:19, 1 Corinthians 7:34)
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