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WHITE POSTCARD ROMANCE Chocolate

Story of Long distance Military Love

TUG OF WAR

SUPER SINGLES Blind Date

FEBRUARY 2013


CONTENTS

06 WHAT SHE WANT, WHAT HE DESERVES WHAT she WANTS SPICE UP YOUR {SEX} LIFE 08 L 10 CHILLING VS. DATING 12 THE TUG OF WAR 14 BLIND DATE” CAN A GIRL JUST HAVE A 20 HELL DATE GOOD TIME WITH A GUY REGARDLESS OF THE Chocolate MELANIN, OR THE 22 WHITE CHOCOLATE LACK OF 24 POSTCARD ROMANCE 26 ROMANTIC ESCAPES - FAMU MATTERS -

et’s face it fellas, buying a Valentine’s Day gift for your lady can be a daunting task. It’s usually a hit or miss for most men because honestly, what woman ever really tells you exactly what she wants? Fortunately, we have the inside scoop this year on the cutest gifts for your special girl. Show your woman you know her style by surprising her with a designer iPod, iPad or tablet case created for even the quirkiest princess.

06

KATE SPADE katespade.com $40 iPhone case

T

08

$85 iPad case

Pampering your sweetie may be the most rewarding gift you can give. Help her feel her best with Philosophy and Gwen Stefani’s Harajuku Lovers Fragrances. Philosophy’s wide variety of beauty products will be a sure hit this is the season to be in love my fellow Rattlers Valentine’s and I have a confession to make. Call me Day. Stefani’s sweet scents will have you never wanting to leave her side again. old fashioned, but I’m a sucker for true love and classic romance. I despise those whack “Wanna come over and chill?” texts and dream of horseback rides and star gazing nights on the beach (Chilling vs. Dating p. 10). I guess you can call me a hopeless romantic. Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve had my fair share of bad dates (Hell Date p. 20). You won’t ever see me first in line to be set up with someone (Blind Date p. 14). But Valentine’s Day, and all the lovey dovey fluff it represents, design by ADAM HARDY photos by Alvin mcbean isn’t as dreadful as most singles portray it to be.

MELON DAQUIRI SHAMPOO, SHOWER GEL & BUBBLE BATH www.philosophy.com $6-$16

10

love sweet love spray fragrance www.philosophy.com $40

SALIF KANTE

Flavored lip gloss www.philosophy.com The Love & Relationship issue is one of my favorites to produce because every year we get a chance$10each to redefine the meaning of classic romance. There are always new Vanilla Birthday For some courageous Sorbetsistas white ways to rekindle the fire in your relationshipRaspberry (Spice Up Cake Your {Sex} Life p. 8) and men chocolate will always need help in never tasted so good. the gift buying department (What She Wants, What He harajuku lovers Deserves p. 6). Fragrance One thing I’ve learned about love is to keep hope Amazon.com, Kohls.com alive. Whether it’s this year or next year, falling in love Price Varies $15-45 never goes out of style. Wicked Style Sunshine Cutie Baby Words By Gina Cherelus

Design ed By Doniel Jean-Pierre

- FEATURES -

12

- ARS & ENTERTAINMENT -

14

Chelse Collins

Photos By Gina Cherelus

Cinnamon Buns

20

Morgan Grain

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

WORDS WORDS BY BY ITOPIA ITOPIA MILLS MILLS

22

DESIGN DESIGN BY BY ADAM ADAM HARDY HARDY

PHOTOS PHOTOS BY BY LAGRETTA LAGRETTA JOHNSON JOHNSON

24

- LIFE & STYLE -

Leaving Ne ffy, Copyright 2013 by Florida A&M University. All rights reserved. The missing the birth d missing magazine was produced by the student organization issue of, an Journey those lat e nights Journey withwithessential support from the School of Journalism & Naomi we re some of the ha rdest th Communication. Graphic Journey is funded through the student ings I’ve ev er had to do . activity and service fees, as allocated by the Student Senate of Florida A&M University. For more information on Journey or the Magazine Program, contact the Division of Journalism, 510 Orr Drive Room 3078, Florida A&M University, Tallahassee, FL, 32307

Love

What do you think about this issue? Tell me on Twitter @Maggi_Miranda

- MIND, BODY AND SOUL -

26

Cover Design By Chidozie Acey Cover Photo By Raymond Love II On the Cover Tnijah Smith and Eddie Lee Ravenel Jr.


HAPPY HOUR

Every Day From 4-7 P.M.

FUNKY FRIDAY Live Music 9 P.M.-12 A.M. No Cover $1 Off Wells & Beer

SOUTHERN SATURDAY Happy Hour All Day

The artist will show you

step-by-step

how to paint a beautiful work of art that you will take home at the end of the evening.

2 hour class - $35 per person 3 hour class - $45 per person KRISTEN

SWILLEY COPY DESK CHIEF

ADVISER BRANDON VAUGHN PRINTER GANDY PRINTERS CONTRIBUTORS MONTRELL FAIN, JASON SHOCKNESS, TYSHANE FRANISCO, NADINE BENJAMIN, GINA CHERELUS, SALIF KANTE, CHELSE COLLINS, MAISHA THOMPSON ART TEAM ADAM HARDY, TONY WATTS, DONIEL JEAN-PIERRE, CHRIS ROETT, COURTNEY JORDAN SPECIAL THANKS WINE LOFT, THE FRONT PORCH, ZINGALES BILLARDS, GOVENOR'S SQUARE DILLARD'S, GOVENOR'S SQUARE GAP, AVANTE GARB, GOODWILL, PAINTING WITH A TWIST, BACKWOOD BISTRO, TALLAHASSEE AUTOMOBILE MUSEUM PHOTO TEAM ALVIN MCBEAN, JASMINE MITCHELL, ERIN CARPENTER PR TEAM RENEE MOWATT, JIBRI BAILEY, MASANI BAILEY, TENELLE SWAN

1660 N. Monroe. St, Suite 8 Tallahassee, FL 32303

850-222-1385

SUNNY SUNDAY $3 Mimosas $3 Bloody Marys


WHAT she WANTS WHAT h`e DESERVES L

et’s face it fellas, buying a Valentine’s Day gift for your lady can be a daunting task. It’s usually a hit or miss for most men because honestly, what woman ever really tells you exactly what she wants? Fortunately, we have the inside scoop this year on the cutest gifts for your special girl. Show your woman you know her style by surprising her with a designer iPod, iPad or tablet case created for even the quirkiest princess.

KATE SPADE katespade.com $40 iPhone case

$85 iPad case

N

obody can see a man’s potential more than his better half. Help your man reach that boardroom status with these grown and sexy gift ideas. Nothing speaks more about a man than the condition of his wallet. These leather money protectors are perfect for your beau’s pockets. Also, Ralph Lauren Blue and Black label cologne is the gift that will have you glued to your special guy for hours.

polo ralph lauren Burnished leather window billfold wallet bloomingdales.com $85

pery ellis wallet macys.com $20

Fitness Gear 40 lb. Adjustable Dumbbell Set dickssportinggoods.com $50

ralph lauren polo black Eau de toilette macys.com $61

Ralph Lauren Polo Double Black Eau de Toilette Spray macys.com $76

Ralph Lauren Polo Blue Eau de Toilette macys.com $61

Pampering your sweetie may be the most rewarding gift you can give. Help her feel her best with Philosophy and Gwen Stefani’s Harajuku Lovers Fragrances. Philosophy’s wide variety of beauty products will be a sure hit this Valentine’s Day. Stefani’s sweet scents will have you never wanting to leave her side again.

MELON DAQUIRI SHAMPOO, SHOWER GEL & BUBBLE BATH www.philosophy.com $6-$16 Flavored lip gloss www.philosophy.com $10each Raspberry Sorbet harajuku lovers Fragrance Amazon.com, Kohls.com Price Varies $15-45 Sunshine Cutie 06

SPRING 2013

love sweet love spray fragrance www.philosophy.com $40

Vanilla Birthday Cake

Cinnamon Buns

sources

Wicked Style Baby

Love

http://www.katespade.com/newsprint-dot-iphone-5-case/8ARU0043,default,pd.html?dwvar_8ARU0043_color=349&start=3&cgid=phone-cases-iphone-and-ipad / http://www.katespade.com/kaleidoscope-stripe-ipadfolio/PSRU1002A,default,pd.html?dwvar_PSRU1002A_color=979&start=22&cgid=phone-cases-iphone-and-ipad / http://www.marcjacobs.com/products/m6131042/taboo-print-iphone-5-case?q=iphone%20and%20 ipad%20cases&sort=score_desc / http://www.marcjacobs.com/products/m6123016/katie-bunny-tablet-case?q=iphone%20and%20ipad%20cases&sort=score_desc / http://www.philosophy.com/scented-shampooshower-gel-and-bubble-bath/melon-daiquiri-shower-gel,en_US,pd.html / http://www.philosophy.com/spray-fragrance/love-sweet-love-spray-fragrance,en_US,pd.html / http://www.philosophy.com/flavored-lip-shine/ raspberry-sorbet-lip-shine,en_US,pd.html / http://www.philosophy.com/flavored-lip-shine/vanilla-birthday-cake-lip-shine,en_US,pd.html / http://www.philosophy.com/lip-shine/cinnamon-buns-lip-shine,en_US,pd.html / http://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Harajuku-Lovers/Harajuku-Lovers-Sunshine-Cuties-Baby-7416.html / http://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Harajuku-Lovers/Harajuku-Lovers-Wicked-Style-Baby-10292.html / http://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Harajuku-Lovers/Harajuku-Lovers-Love-3124.html / http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/polo-ralph-lauren-wallet-burnished-billfold-wallet-with-window?ID=756911 / http:// www1.macys.com/shop/product/perry-ellis-wallet-premium-leather-sutton-passcase?ID=271653 / http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-wallet-leather-wallet-with-removable-card-case?ID=561591

JOURNEY

07


Are you spending this day of love alone? This track on our playlist might help you reach that coveted climx. Put the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door and enjoy. One of the top three vibrators sold at Spencer’s in Governor’s Square Mall is the iVibe Rabbit. Its functions include a clitoris tickler and spinning and vibrating speed controls. At $40 it’s worth the splurge! The most popular vibrators at Spencer’s are Neon Softees. Customers love the price! Although they only vibrate, at about $10 per pop, one could be a great Valentine’s Day gift to yourself.

The definition of foreplay seems so trivial, but with the toot it and boot it type of music we listen to today it’s easy to forget. Foreplay is all about the senses: touch, taste, sight, smell and hearing. To correctly set the prelude make sure you have the essential tools to satisfy all of your partner’s senses. Scented tea lights are perfect for setting the mood. You can sort them into different shapes and when lit they quickly fill the room with scents such as strawberry, Hawaiian breeze and apple cinnamon. Get creative and buy edible underwear or simply pick up some whipped cream and assorted fruits from your nearby grocery store. Warming massage lotion is always a guaranteed option for stimulation. Remember tonight is about pleasing your partner.

Like Ludacris says, you got to do it right each and every night. Some have never tried lubricant before but what better day to experiment than Valentine’s Day? Ever heard of pre-seed? It is a natural lubricant designed to spice up sex without harming sperm production. Assuming you’re not trying to get pregnant we also recommend “KY Yours + Mine” Lubricant.

08

SPRING 2013

Games can spice things up by building anticipation. Jumping straight to the nitty gritty can take all the mystery out of the night. Love your boyfriend or girlfriend right all year round with “A Year of Sexual Positions” card game. It includes 1,000 possible sexual fantasies. We also recommended “Sex Checks” and “Cosmo’s Truth Or Dare” for adding some fun to your nightcap.

If you think sex games are over rated you just aren’t playing them right. Let’s face it, everyone has a fantasy or two they would love to fulfill. Break out the velvet ropes and a few other kinky items to please your other half. At Spencer’s you can find fantasy items such as Silk Love Wrist Cuffs that are perfect for restraining your partner so you can control every moment. The Fantasy Door Swing can provide you and your lover with tons of new positions to try—with gravity out the way and all. Also try blindfolds; they are great for spicing up the night. Surprise your partner with every move and remember no peeking!

If you think sex games are over rated you just aren’t playing them right. Let’s face it, everyone has a fantasy or two they would love to fulfill. Break out the velvet ropes and a few other kinky items to please your other half. At Spencer’s you can find fantasy items such as Silk Love Wrist Cuffs that are perfect for restraining your partner so you can control every moment. The Fantasy Door Swing can provide you and your lover with tons of new positions to try—with gravity out the way and all. Also try blindfolds; they are great for spicing up the night. Surprise your partner with every move and remember no peeking!

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face it, most of us are looking to just have fun and find the cheapest way to do so. Ultimately, our minds are focused on the end result of sleeping with the girl who decided to come over, so why not find a cheaper and less time consuming way to do it?

SALIF KANTE design by ADAM HARDY

G

photos by Alvin mcbean

uys in our generation have become very smart when it comes to dating women. In our minds, we have convinced ourselves that chilling is the same thing as dating, even though we know it isn’t. I like to call it a fake date.

Chilling is a way of avoiding the whole awkward dating process. We can get to know each other on an intimate level without having to spend money on things like gas, food and entertainment. It is a controlled environment that is created solely by us because we choose what food to make, what movie to watch or whatever the plans are for that specific evening. I’m sure everyone can agree that one of the most popular phrases used by men at our university is, “You want to come over and chill?” Personally, I like to chill because I want to be intimate with a girl with no strings attached. This is my other way of saying, “Girl I want you tonight.” Girls make it easy for us to accomplish this “chilling” phenomenon because they fail to open their eyes and realize that they are worth more than just being labeled as the ‘’come over and chill girl.’’ The mistake most girls make is their will to do anything for love...especially when they think they can change a man. Let’s 10

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There are different girls and every man has his own opinion about them. However, in my opinion chilling isn’t necessarily a bad thing or the antithesis of dating. It requires no expensive dates yet still allows the people involved to share mutual interests in a cozier environment. Most girls, who are looking for love, believe that the longer they participate in any sexual interaction with a man the more the more he will fall in love. This could not be further from the truth, but with knowledge of this trick what do women expect from us? It would only be smart of a man to take advantage of the situation the woman has allowed. We just continue to innocently “chill” with her until she decides to give it up. More times than not, the plan works. Unfortunately “chilling” can become sticky when girls get all attached after they have chilled with a man on more than one occasion. The more they “chill” the more they desire a relationship. No woman! Please understand that most men don’t automatically want to be in a relationship after a few weeks or months of “chilling.” We like to keep our options open. Another thing women should understand is “chilling” doesn’t always have to be about sex. In some cases, I may choose to chill with a girl because I’m comfortable enough with her to sit in my house and talk with her about anything that comes to mind. Instead of deciding whether I like her enough while simultaneously spending money I don’t have, I could easily spend time at my house getting to know her. It’s not disrespectful. It’s economical.

M

aking footprints in the soft sand at the beach, walking hand in hand with your partner, engaging in intimate conversations as the sun sets are experiences of the past. The new generation is making dating extinct. Recently, romantic wellplanned dates have transformed into “chilling.” Everyone who is a part of the new dating scene has received that oh so familiar text or phone call from a prospective partner asking “When can we chill?” Today’s generation considers chilling as meeting up, usually in an intimate location such as a house or apartment, with the intensions to get to know a current love interest better. Chilling typically involves some type of alcoholic beverage, food, and a large movie collection. So you’re thinking: This doesn’t sound so bad, what’s the problem? The days where men date one girl at a time are long gone. Men have multiple women at their disposal and it takes no effort to get their attention and little effort to have sex with them. Women continue to say chivalry is dead. If it is dead, it is because women allowed it to die. Men only do what women require. If the bare minimum is all women require to capture their attention, then that is all men will do. It takes no effort for a man to send a text asking a woman to chill. However, it takes time, effort and resources for a man to think of a special place to take a special woman. Accepting a come over and chill invitation is accepting a lazy man. Woman will say, “I am single and dating,” but have not been to dinner or the movies in months. Where they have been however is the inside of countless living rooms and bedrooms several apartment complexes across Tallahassee. A woman’s eagerness to just chill shows a man that she is comfortable and satisfied with never going out on a real date. Encourage a man to show some genuine interest. Men should

Chelse Collins come up with unique ways to get a piece of your time, because it is valuable. Just as men should understand that it takes effort to truly court a woman and garner her attention, women should understand that their expectations should fit the caliber of men they date. A man, especially one still in college, may not be able to afford to take a woman to a five star restaurant. That is understandable. However, this inevitable truth should not be used by men as an excuse not to take a woman he is interested in out on a date. Men should not be treated like piggy banks. If a man has an unpretentious interest in a woman he will think of financially convenient ways to spend time with her outside of his apartment. Dating is undoubtedly complicated, but today’s dating expectations have fallen well below unsatisfactory. “Chilling” is not dating. The sooner both men and women realize this, the better off the dating scene will be for both sexes.

Tweet your thoughts about the “Chilling vs. Dating” debate to @Journey _mag.

JOURNEY

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Tug War the

of A soldier brings home unexpected baggage.

That’s when what was supposed to be an ordinary rescue mission went very wrong. He was trying to get wounded soldiers onto a rescue helicopter when he heard a whistling noise, one loud boom, and then silence. A makeshift grenade caused his helicopter to explode. It killed everyone on board and all the wounded soldiers his unit

was trying to save. Everyone died—except him. Shrapnel tore into his chest, right leg and right arm leaving him temporarily unable to walk. Wounded after 11 months in action, he thought his biggest battle was behind him. However, the sense of guilt and paranoia proved to be an even greater challenge. “Even though that was a struggle, the emotional aspect has been post traumatic stress disorder,” Seahorn says. “Before it was diagnosed they called it soldier’s heart, combat fatigue and battle fatigue. We’ve heard it referred to as a lot of different things.” Seahorn says it was this dismissive

words by: Kristen Swilley Photos by: Raymond Love II Design by: Tony Watts Jr.

attitude toward his anxiety that made him even more withdrawn. He felt alone. “You no longer have this feeling of belonging. You feel isolated,” he says. Approximately 7.7 million American adults age 18 and older, or about 3.5 percent of people in this age group in a given year, have PTSD.

SPRING 2013

“I got upset over every little thing. I wound up hurting my family, my wife, my kids. But then the crazy thing is I immediately felt better. The damage has been done. I’ve insulted them. I’ve embarrassed them. I ruined their whole day, but I blew off steam and they felt guilty about addressing it,” he says.

“I think the biggest misconception is that these people aren’t strong,” Brand says. “They don’t seek counseling because they’re afraid they’re going to be stigmatized and not be able to get a job or have a relationship,” Brand further explains, adding the disorder isn’t limited to any demographic. “It can affect anyone from soldiers who’ve been exposed to really traumatic instances to people being molested when they’re young to witnessing some sort of a crime. Of course (the symptoms) vary on a caseto-case basis, but often people are anxious.” Seahorn says in his case it was a sense of insecurity and lack

of trust. There was no such thing as front lines. You didn’t know who you’re enemy was. A country like Afghanistan has been in combat forever, and there’s nothing most of them really distinguish between why we’re here, why the Taliban is here. They’re just trying to survive and there are no clear boundaries drawn,” he says. Seahorn was, however, eventually able to find solace in his relationships after participating in a two-year study which examined PTSD and allowed him to truly understand his actions. “A lot of combat veterans come back and they end up in broken relationships, broken families, and broken marriages with people who were very patriotic but didn’t know what was going on. [Jean] stood by me. Not everyone has that strong of a relationship,” he says. “I’ve been blessed.”

One in every eight soldiers returning from the war will come back with it, and psychologists say it can affect their abilities to build healthy relationships. This made it especially difficult to maintain a relationship with his wife Jean and their two sons. “We don’t tend

You no longer have this feeling of belonging. You feel isolated. Background Image: http://nicolatriscott.files.wordpress. com/2012/10/img_3106.jpg

12

Seahorn was rarely openly emotional, but when he was angry it showed. He once yelled at his oldest son for forgetting to tie his shoelaces and he put his fist through a wall when Jean came home too late.

Lorin Brand counseled inmates who suffered from PTSD. In addition to the actual trauma, she says many people who suffer from the disorder are trying to compensate for perceived weakness from their peers.

I

f you ask Anthony Seahorn what happened to him, he’ll tell you he died in combat years ago.

to do real well around holidays where there’s a lot of people and celebration and noise because so much of your demeanor tends to be a little more withdrawn. Instead of being happy, you feel alienation and desperation. When you should be the happiest you’re probably the most depressed,” he says.

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14

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JOURNEY

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chemistry

JARONN GOODMAN

MELANIE MITCHELL

AGE 22 HOMETOWN Lakeland, FL MAJOR Business Administration CLASSIFICATION Senior ACTIVITES Royal Court Escourt 2012-

AGE 18 HOMETOWN Atlanta, GA MAJOR Information Technology CLASSIFICATION Sophomore ACTIVITES Presidential Scholar, S.G.A

2013, PRodigy Associate, Collegiate 100 of FAMU, Resident Assistant (Phase III), Sony Music Entertainment College Marketing Representative IDEAL TALLAHASSEE DATE Moive, Dinner, Walk Around Lake Ella PASSIONS Music and mentoring

Correspondents, FAMU Chapter of NAACP, Barack Obama Campaign volunteer, tutor at Bond Elementary HOBBIES Fanfiction writing, Youtubing Describing herself as an awkward black girl of sorts, this tech-savvy third generation Rattler seems to be everything but. With a passion for her beloved university and bringing her classmates together through social networking, Melanie doesn’t think college is the best time to commit to any serious relationships.

This royal Rattler seems to have little time these days for a real relationship with his busy schedule and demanding workload. He attributes the failure of his last relationship to his lack of time commitment.

“I don’t believe in college dating. I feel it’s pointless,” says Melanie. “People have girlfriends or boyfriends and act like they’re single so why even pursue a relationship with somebody?”

“I didn’t invest enough time into relationship,” says Jaronn. I think that put a hindrance on the relationship.” Jaronn could improve his love life if he utilized the lesson of giving and getting learned from his experience as a mentor.

Fellas watch out for this chocolate bombshell because although she may entertain your presence for a while there is a lot of heartbreaker potential as she describes her current state of dating as “chillin’.”

“You get what you give out of it and I really get a lot out of doing it,” says Jaronn about his experience as a mentor. Despite the failure of his most recent attempt at a relationship Jaronn remains hopeful and knows that his romantic partner is still out there waiting for him as long as she isn’t the type who will always say and do what he wants. “I don’t want someone to just be my yes person,” Jaronn says.

“Although I’m looking for my husband I’m chillin’,” says Melanie. “I’m just, ya know, testing the waters. I’m not really serious with anybody or trying to pursue a real relationship. Not that I don’t want to but I haven’t found somebody that has me wanting to pursue a relationship.”

date jaronn’ s postdate thoughts “I really enjoyed our date. I hope we do get to speak again. I’m not sure exactly to what capacity it will actually be Brunch at Backwoods Bistro

but who knows? Friendships can take a different route.” “I’ve never been on a blind date before and it was a new experience for me. That was really interesting. The date was fun. Thank you for a good time. We’ll see where it goes from there.”

melanie’s postdate thoughts 16

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chemistry

JONATHAN MOSES AGE 20 HOMETOWN Miami, FL MAJOR Business Administration CLASSIFICATION Junior ACTIVITES FAMU S.G.A Senator,

KAYLYN HARRIS

It’s A FAMUly Affair Assistant Director, Collegiate 100 of FAMU, First Year Peer Mentor, SISTUHS Nubian King, Member of New Mt. Zion A.M.E, Leon County Schools Mentor ENJOYS Socializing,Movies, Barhopping

AGE 21 HOMETOWN Alpharetta, GA MAJOR Health Science CLASSIFICATION Senior ACTIVITES Student Occupational

Hailing from Miami, this low toned gentleman has been single for quite some time now. His last relationship ended as he made his journey to the hill leaving his high school sweetheart behind and although she eventually made her way to FAMU things just didn’t seem to work out.

Therapy Association, Former University Cheerleader, Big Sister Little Sister ENJOYS Skiing, Yoga, Traveling, Beach Activities

“It was kind of one of those high school things, says Jonathan when asked to describe his last relationship. “We just kind of grew apart. In some ways the love is always going to be there to some extent but we’ve both kind of moved on and since then I’ve just been living the single life.”

This self-declared southern belle is looking for a southern gentleman to sweep her off of her feet. Kaylyn enjoys being able to dress up and go out on dates even if it isn’t exactly someone she likes. “I enjoy going on dates whether it’s someone I like or not,” says Kaylyn. “I like to get dressed up and go out. I haven’t found anyone that I like too much in my four years being in college that I’ve stuck with but I like to go on dates. Dating is fun!” Kaylyn has many criteria for her ideal lover but most importantly she requires they have one particular thing in common. “I want someone with the same religious background as me,” says Kaylyn. “I’m a Christian.” This natural beauty is well aware of why she remains single but remains steadfast in her search for companionship. “I think I’m single because I’m young and still finding more out about myself and everyone else and discovering the world and my purpose,” says Kaylyn.

Jonathan is in search of a partner to establish a valuable companionship with and has come to an acceptable understanding as to why his previous relationship came to an end. “We were together for a while so we just wanted to explore and find somebody different or new,” say Jonathan. “She’s kind of moved on. I’m still trying to find someone to build that good relationship with.

date jonathan’ s postdate thoughts “It was definitely an enjoyable date that I will remember. I think our personalities meshed in some good ways. We’ll see what happens in the future. I’d definitely Art Lesson at Painting With A Twist

like to have some more of your time if that’s okay with you.”

kayl yn’s postdate thoughts “I think that my painting came out better. Our date was really fun. I’m glad it wasn’t awkward and I had a really good time. I think that my head is somewhere else but he’s a good friend.”

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chemistry

chemistry

julian coakley natalie johnson

AGE 23 HOMETOWN Nassau, Bahamas MAJOR Public Administration CLASSIFICATION Graduate Student ACTIVITIES Model United Nations, Graduate Senator, Research & Teaching Assisistant, Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. (Delta Psi Chapter), American Isreal Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) CELEBRITY CRUSH Michelle Obama HOBBIES Traveling, Reading, Politics

AGE 20 HOMETOWN Tallahassee, FL MAJOR Broadcast Journalism CLASSIFICATION Junior ACTIVITIES Golden Key Honor

Somewhat of a political overachiever, Julian served as the president of his student body at his undergraduate alma mater, Florida Memorial University in Miami, for three consecutive years. Julian describes himself as the ultimate gentleman.

Society, FAMUan, Peer Mentor, Ronald McDonald House Volunteer INTERESTES Politics, Writing, History It’s hard not to want to get to know more about this candidly awkward political junkie. She embraces her quirky traits and bundles them all as a mark of her individuality.

“I consider myself the ultimate gentleman,” says Julian in a thick Bahamian accent. “I’ve always been raised to treat females with the utmost respect. I’m very professional and I carry myself a certain type of way so I think that sets me apart.”

“I’m not an average person,” says Natalie as she describes herself. “I’m really lame at times. I’m really fun at times. I can be overly emotional at times. There are too many traits that I have. I’m not your average girl.”

Julian also pledged the Delta Psi chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. during his time at Florida Memorial University and says he prefers to date within the greek community.

In a blunt and sincere manner, Natalie provides insight on her failed dating attempts. “None of my relationships just worked out,” says Natalie. You never just find the one you have chemistry with. You find someone you’re interested in but you’re never really compatible.” We think we’ve got just the match for her.

“Anybody who is Greek knows that there is a lot of work that goes into it and I would like a female who is Greek as well because she would understand when I’m busy and I’m not there,” says Julian. We think we’ve got just the match for her.

date juli an’s postdate thoughts “She was amazing to me. At the end of the day I wouldn’t mind remaining friends. I would not mind having you in my life because you are a very awesome person.” First Friday Hop at Railroad Square

natali e’s postdate thoughts “I immediately knew we were going to click. Maybe we can find something else to go to and enjoy. We have a lot of things in common. I would definitely go out

TYLER GERMAN

MIKHAIL SCOTT

AGE 19 HOMETOWN Chicago, IL MAJOR Accounting CLASSIFICATION Sophomore ACTIVITIES Vice President

AGE 22 HOMETOWN Palmetto, FL MAJOR Public Relations CLASSIFICATION Senior ACTIVITIES Progressive Black

of Mahogany Dance Theatre, National Association of Black Accountants, Black Executive Exchange Program INTERESTS Music and sports

Men Inc., Phi Sigma Theta National Honor Society

Ladies don’t be thrown off by Mikhail’s vertical challenge. His personality and style makes up for what he lacks in height. At first he may come off as quiet and reserved but this public relations student is far from shy.

Tyler can easily be described as the girl-next-door out of this year’s batch of Super Singles. There is a sort of Monica Wright (Sanaa Lathan’s character from Love & Basketball) vibe about her with her interest in sports and cool, laid back swagger.

“When it comes to dating, the blind date thing is definitely not something I do usually.”

Tyler seems to be a stranger to the dating world with a short list of experiences. “I’ve had one serious boyfriend my whole life so I’m trying to, I guess, find the right one,” says Tyler. When asked why she applied to be featured as one of this year’s Super Singles, Tyler perks up with excitement about trying something new. This seemed like it would be a good experience – something fun and different to do,” says Tyler. “I’ve never been on a blind date.”

date miwilling khailto’s gopostdate thoughts “I think we had a lot in common and if you’re up for it I’m definitely out on another date to see if there’s anything else there.” tyler’ s postdate thoughts “I definitely can see us chilling or hanging out in the future. It was nice to meet you.” Brunch at Backwoods Bistro

with him again.”

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HELL DATE

Design By Courtney Jordan & CHIDOZIE ACEY

O Photos By Raymond Love

S

he scooped me up in her whip and we were on our way. The conversation was pretty slow, but I kept it going. Things didn’t really start going south until we arrived at the restaurant.

A week before we originally planned to go to Prime Time for our date. However, she informed me the day of our date that she recently went there a few days earlier without me. Instead we went to Miller’s Ale House. Throughout our entire conversation at the dinner table she continuously cut me off. To add insult to injury she pulled out her phone and was glued to it for the remainder of the evening. That really pissed me off. She tried to start conversations based on what she saw on Facebook and Twitter. It was like talking to her timeline or newsfeed. When the waitress came to take our orders we both ordered the same thing, but we didn’t eat the same way. I was trying to be c polite by eating with my fork and knife, but she took the more hands on approach. She then began to do one of my biggest peeves, smack while chewing. Not just smack though, but smack and talk with food in her mouth. Of all things to do after our date, she tells me she needs to go grocery shopping. This was definitely a moment when I wished I had a car. We went shopping at New Leaf, but they didn’t have everything she needed, so she made a second stop at Publix. After her shopping trip she had the audacity to come back to my house and watch the rest of the game. There was barely any conversation, just a lot of football watching and silence. She didn’t leave until I mentioned I had an 8 a.m. class the next morning.

Maisha Thompson

Jabari Payne

I

met my date one drunken evening at Top Flight...or perhaps it was the Moon. Either way I was about to come face to face with my mystery guy again. However, he was 10 minutes late. I decided to take advantage of happy hour and ordered a cocktail. After a few minutes of waiting in walked Jerome* in all his splendor. He looked like a cross between Ole’ Dirty Bastard and Lil Jon, circa 2003—minus the prestige. I gulped my cocktail and reluctantly decided to pardon his tardiness and inappropriate attire. I considered them a lack of judgment and not bad manners. However, his golds were a distraction throughout the date. Laughter erupted at our neighboring booth as the waitress awkwardly scurried away. I immediately turned to see that the pack of hyenas behind me consisted of my roommate and three of my friends!

Before the date, my roommate agreed to pose as a legitimate diner the entire evening to ensure my safety. As a strong advocate for the return of days when people could eat together without being completely obsessed with electronics, I had not looked at my phone. I soon discovered it was flooded with text messages from my friends, all at my date’s expense. When our entrées arrived I was three and a half cocktails in and heard at least three and a half stories about how crazy his baby mama was. My favorite tale involved his baby mama's attempt to run him and his ex over with her car, while their child slept in the backseat. Before he tore into his chicken tenders, he thought it necessary to remove his gold grill glistening with saliva. That was the point of no return.

Nadine Benjamin

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ur first encounter was quite pleasant, so when he asked me out for a date I did not think I was getting into anything crazy.

Our date was very informal. We hadn’t made plans on where we were going. We just confirmed that we were going out on a Saturday. However, I made it clear that I was not going to his house to “chill and watch a movie” as guys love to do. The date was scheduled for 8 p.m., and he showed up 30 minutes later. When he finally arrived he decided to obnoxiously beep his car horn. He drove a dark green BMW convertible but the inside was a mess! There were clothes in the back window, fast food restaurant wrappers on the floor, a half-eaten apple on the dashboard and an unbearable smell throughout the vehicle. There was absolute silence between us in the car. I focused on where he was taking me to spark conversation. On the way to our destination, we passed several nice restaurants and venues. I kept excitedly thinking, “Oh, are we stopping here?” or “I hope we’re stopping here!” However, we didn’t stop at any nice restaurants. Instead, our destination was on North Monroe directly across from Publix at Lake Ella. Despite my disappointment, I kept my composure and continued along with this “date.” To make matters worse, it was winter and he wanted to walk and talk around the lake. Once again, I entertained the foolishness. I reached my breaking point near the end when somehow we started talking about birthmarks. Both of our birthmarks happened to on our backsides and while discussing our birthmark locations he excitedly pulled down his pants to show me his behind. I was too distracted by the dirty drawers and the hairiness of his crack to focus on his birthmark. Once he did that, I demanded he take me home. He took the saying, “showing your ass” literally.

A

s if being a teenager isn’t awkward enough, imagine going on a triple date with your brothers and their girlfriends. I just turned 17 years old and I was in lust with a dancer named Devon from the Bronx. Nothing compares to a summer fling; everything feels so perfect and innocent. After what seemed to be forever, Devon finally asks me on a date. Unfortunately, my older brothers thought it would be a good idea to make it a triple date. I honestly didn’t think it would be such a bad idea because everyone knew each other and my brothers have always treated me equally. My date was scared out of his mind thinking my brothers were going to interrogate him. It took me awhile to convince him everything would be okay and we would have a great time. Big mistake! We head to a restaurant for dinner and drinks before a movie. The date was awkward from the start. It’s hard to be romantic on a triple date with your older brothers. As we joke around and take pictures my brothers continue to make fun of us. Devon was so afraid to kiss me or hold my hand because the date was awkward enough without us being physical around my bodyguards. To make things worst my date had too much to eat and too much to drink. He ended up falling asleep on the movie we went to see, which is a pet peeve of mine. If you are going to pay for a movie, you could at least watch it! However, it wasn’t bad enough that he fell asleep. He was completely knocked out snoring and all! We never had a chance for a do over because our summer fling ended shortly after the break came to a close.

Tennelle Swan

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Chocolate Words By Gina Cherelus

Design ed By Doniel Jean-Pierre

Photos By Gina Cherelus

For some courageous sistas white chocolate never tasted so good.

I

t was right before the end of a fall semester when a friend and me left a Journey release party early to rendezvous elsewhere in good ole’ Tallahassee. A couple of Limearitas later, I found myself causally flirting with a tall, handsome stranger at a bar called Bullwinkle’s. He was your average freckledfaced, white college student with dark blonde hair, a sweet smile and rugged 5 o’clock shadow. We casually small talked, shared a couple of drinks and he offered me a few puffs of his cigarette that I gladly accepted. Before I knew it, we took our chemistry up a notch, dancing together the whole night and sneaking kisses in between. It was not a big deal to me, not in the least, that I was on the dance floor exchanging sweet nothings with a white man, despite the glances being exchanged from my many black confidants at the pub. You would have thought they saw a dog walking on its hind legs! Many even

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asked if we were dating or if he was my boyfriend and were shocked after I explained that I didn’t even remember his first name from when he last screamed it to me over the music. I mean, can a girl just have a good time with a guy regardless of the melanin, or the lack of? When it comes to black women, there are many shadows cast when interracial dating is discussed. Why? Because with so many Michael Ealys and Idris Elbas out there, why would one consider stepping outside of her race to date a white guy? It was not that long ago when black women served as bed warmers for slave owners and were repeatedly raped, only to be left to bear

CAN A GIRL JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH A GUY REGARDLESS OF THE MELANIN, OR THE LACK OF an unwanted child of their master.

two races of men treat women.

However, over the past few decades, relations have improved and curiosity has peaked and many black women are opting to step outside of their race to find love. Famous black women such as Halle Berry, Serena

“They [white guys] typically know how to treat and court women better than black men for the simple fact that more of them have both parents present,” Carpenter says. Jeannie Williamceau, a 20-year-old black woman of Haitian descent, has been dating her Colombian boyfriend, Manuel Venegas, for over a year now and does not see a problem with them having different backgrounds.

Williams, Rashida Jones, Paula Patton and Kerry Washington have all ventured outside of the average black woman’s comfort zone on the dating scene.

So what exactly makes black women consider a Caucasian lover? Numbers may play a big part in the decision. Statistically, there are 2 million more black women than there are black men, and that’s before you subtract homosexuals, those who are incarcerated or those with incomparable educational or financial background and, of course, the men who are already taken from the population.

“We are both minorities so we are usually on the same wavelength when it comes to everyday interactions with the world,” Williamceau says. “We discuss racial issues and can share our experiences with each other.” She is one of a growing number of black women who believe love goes deeper than the color of ones skin. It encompasses ones values, emotions, spiritual beliefs and an unspeakable attraction between two individuals. Nothing serious came of my night with the freckle-faced cutie, but there have been several instances where I’ve dated men of different ethnic backgrounds. It’s exciting to step outside of the “dark chocolate” box. There are plenty more shades and countless more flavors.

Erin Carpenter, a third year business administration student from Lake Mary Fla., attributes the trend to differences in how the

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friend Masha bring some of her friends over. Nefertiti was one of the friends Masha decided to bring over. The deal in a round of the game was whoever lost had to take the winner to dinner. “I cheated on a round of UNO and she [Nefertiti] said I owed her dinner,” KT explains. “The loser had to take the winner to dinner.” That’s how it all started. Nefertiti Mills and KT Washington first began talking while he was away at basic training for the Army. They communicated through Facebook messages about their plans for dinner when he returned to Tallahassee. “She kept bugging me when I came back [from training] I finally took her to Red Lobster,” KT says. “It was supposed to be only a dinner date.” But from October 2008 to May 2009, the two were inseparable. In May 2009 KT left for his first tour overseas in Iraq. For that year the relationship was Skype calls, text messages and letters. Nefertiti at the time was still in school. Balancing her academics, a long distance relationship and a social life wasn’t always easy.

Leaving N effy, mis sing the birth , and mis sing those lat e nights with Naomi we re some o f the hardest things I’v e ever had to do .

“While you’re separated Skype becomes your life,” Nefertiti says. “You wait for a phone call from a 4 digit net you can’t trace just to hear that they are safe. When they get steeled you pray they have Internet access, and if they do you wait up until wee hours of the morning just to hear and see them. Sometimes the service is horrible but technology has come a long way. It makes the distance seem a little closer.” When she is going through late night studying for finals she’d wait by her phone for a call or text message. WORDS WORDS BY BY ITOPIA ITOPIA MILLS MILLS

DESIGN DESIGN BY BY ADAM ADAM HARDY HARDY

PHOTOS PHOTOS BY BY LAGRETTA LAGRETTA JOHNSON JOHNSON

I

t’s 1:30 a.m. and Nefertiti has been staring at her computer for the past hour and a half. Kenneth was supposed to sign on at midnight and he’s late, as usual. As tempted as she is to get mad and yell at him when he eventually logs on she resists.

Taking a deep breath she looks down at her belly and smiles. She starts talking to her belly, complaining about Kenneth’s tardiness. As she gets frustrated her belly begins to kick. Five months pregnant, Nefertiti rubs her swollen mid section waiting for her fiancée to log on so she can tell him about her day. This is usually their nightly routine. They both log in to Skype within the late hours of the night and wait for the other person to call. The video calls can last as short as a simple “Hi” or “Bye” to being able to watch each other fall asleep. Four years ago they never thought that their relationship would consist of Skype calls, care packages, and countdowns until their reunion.

Between being on missions and different time zones, the communication wasn’t always easy. Technology became a major part of their relationship, which the couple found made it hard for them to live normal lives. Things such as shared family responsibilities or the opportunity to be there for each other mentally, physically and spiritually are sometimes absent. KT came back to the states in May 2010. Nefertiti graduated from Florida A&M in April 2011. For a year they lived in Tallahassee working until they got some big news mid-November 2011. She was pregnant! “I found out a week before the Orlando Classic,” Nefertiti says. After November they moved to Orlando to live with Nefertiti’s mother for the term of the pregnancy. After months of morning sickness KT left for his second tour in Afghanistan.

“Leaving Neffy, missing the birth, and missing those late

nights with Naomi were some of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do,” KT says. While overseas, KT was the only one in his unit experiencing his situation. Out of hundreds of others he was going through emotions that he couldn’t express to anyone else. Living in Afghanistan for nine months as his fiancé and unborn child lived in Orlando was a hardship KT hadn’t prepared to take on. There were nights where he wished he were back home going through Nefertiti’s pregnancy along with her. After Naomi’s birth, Nefertiti needed the rest and help. She felt like a single mother at times, even though she had her mother’s help. “I tried to not think about him not being there and I prayed his unit would come home early,” Nefertiti remembers. Having encouraging family and friends is what helped KT make it through those months. Naomi’s godfather and KT’s cousin LaWayne promised him he wouldn’t hold Naomi until he returned. But there were few who had their doubts. For the first few weeks of KT’s tour it was harder for their families to accept and understand their relationship. At first there was tension between the couple and their families, as they couldn’t understand how quickly the relationship was growing or how their distance would affect their relationship. “Many think that military families have the perfect life and never struggle. The lifestyle is what you make it,” says Nefertiti.

Four years ago, Kenneth, better known as KT, went to a friend’s house for an UNO game night. That night he asked his 24

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PHOTOS BY LAGRETTA JOHNSON MALE STYLIST MARKEL MAZELIN MALE MODEL JASON SHOCKNESS MAKEUP ARTIST KAMARIA KAFELE

DESIGN BY LAMONT HOWARD FEMALE STYLIST ROBYN MOWATT FEMALE MODEL TYSHANE FRANISCO ON JASON ////////////////////////// Bow Tie / *$50 / David Donahue Shirt / *$79 / Calvin Klein Jacket / *$175 / Perry Ellis Pants / *$25 / H&M Shoes / *$100 / Via Spiga Dallas *= Original price

ON TYSHANE ////////////////////////// Dress / $69.99 / Gianni Bini Heels / $100 / Zara Fur stole / $24 / JcPenney’s 26

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ON JASON ////////////////////////// Shirt / $125 / Polo Ralph Lauren Tie / $75 / Marc Richards Fashion Collection Pants / $90 / Polo Ralph Lauren Shoes / $165 / Johnston & Murphy *= Original price ON TYSHANE ////////////////////////// Peplum Top / $34 / Gianni Bini Jacket / $69 / Gianni Bini Pants / $99.99 / Gianni Bini Heels / $119 / Calvin Klein Necklace / $20 / Target Earrings /$60 / Juicy Couture

ON JASON ////////////////////////// Cap / $50 / Hall Of Fame Shirt / $55 / Gap Pants / $90 / Polo Ralph Lauren Sneakers / $40 / Converse *= Original price ON TYSHANE ////////////////////////// Red Peplum Top / $25 White Gap Pants / $69.50 Zebra Belt Gap / $29.95 Clutch / $39.95 Zara Heels / $100

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ON JASON ////////////////////////// Shirt / *$90 / Ralph Lauren Blazer / *$395 / Hart Schaffner Max Bow Tie / *$50 / Ted Baker Shorts / *$98 / Ralph Lauren Shoes / *$170 / Cole Haan *= Original price ON TYSHANE ////////////////////////// Pearl Collar Top / $69 / Awake Couture Skirt / $49.95 / Gap Pumps / $98 / Vince Camuto Belt / Stylist’s Own Hat / $20 / Gianni Bini

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emember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember ght Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back elebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate emember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember ght Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back elebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate emember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember ght Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back elebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate emember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember ght Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back elebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate emember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember ght Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back elebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate emember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember ght Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back elebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate emember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember ght Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back elebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate emember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember ght Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back elebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate emember FightThe BackFight Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Against Cancer Continues ght Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back elebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate emember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember LocatED AT ght Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back P.M. FAMU Intramural Fields elebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate The journey to end cancer starts with a emember Fightsingle Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember step. The American Cancer Society ght Back Celebrate Back invites youRemember to take that Fight step with us byCelebrate Remember Fight Back joining the global Relay For Life movement. elebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Learn more at relay.org/famufl. emember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember ght Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back elebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate Remember Fight Back Celebrate

Race FOR A

cure

April 12 6:00

The Relay For Life of FAMU is a fundraising event for the American Cancer Society. A 501(C)(3) charitable organization. Images captured by Raymond Love from previous events.


Journey Magazine 2012 Love & Relationship Isuue