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Volume 7, Issue 5  World Smile Day  October 2, 2009 

Scottish Nudists say getting naked could be the  solution  to  the  British  teenage  pregnancy  problem  that is worrying Kingston University students.  In  a  submission  to  the  Scottish  Government  this  week,  the  British  Naturism  organisation  said  that a more relaxed attitude to the nude body could  reduce the number of teenage pregnancies and that  it  was  no  coincidence  that  a  high  pregnancy  level  was found in the least ‘liberal’ countries.    With  the  second highest  rate of teenage  preg‐ nancy  in  the  western  world  and  over  7,000  under‐ 16‐year‐olds  falling  pregnant  every  year,  the  UK  compares  poorly  to  its  Danish  and  Dutch  neighbours.  Kingston  nudist  and  member  of  Naturists  UK,  Bernard Boase commented: “I can’t understand why  society has to divide up our bodies like a butcher’s  chart  and  say  this  bit  is  good  and  this  bit  is  bad.  If  there was not such a stigma towards nudity in Brit‐ ain,  I  think  people  would  understand  and  respect  their own bodies better.”  Last month after the news of Alfie Patten ‐ the  13‐year‐old Dad ‐ shocked the nation, an independ‐ ent  survey  carried  out  at  Penrhyn  Road  campus  showed that 98 per cent of students felt that Britain  had a teenage pregnancy problem, despite the gov‐ ernment spending £63 million on prevention in the  past three years.      Michael  Appiah,  a  23‐year‐old  Civil  Engineer‐ ing  student  said:  “Kids  aren’t  innocent  anymore.  This  case  raises  the  issue  of  earlier  sex  education  and  more  should  be  done  to  prevent  it  from  hap‐ pening”    However,  figures  from  the  Office  of  National  Statistics  show  that  teenage  pregnancy  in  England  has  receded  over  the  past  decade  and  dropped  by  13 per cent between 1998 and 2006. Kingston upon  Thames has enjoyed one of the biggest decreases of 

By: John Silcox under 18  pregnancies  in  the  country  seeing  the  numbers drop by 27 per cent.  Despite  this  drop  in  numbers,  Kirsty  Marsh,  a  19‐year‐old  Drama  student  said  she  was  surprised  to  see  so  many  young  mothers  pushing  prams  around  Kingston  when  she  first  came  here  from  Chesterfield.   She said; “I thought that because Kingston was  a wealthy place there wouldn’t be a problem.” Miss  Marsh  also  said that  out  of  the  13  girls in  her  high  school, she was the only one who was not yet mar‐ ried  or  pregnant  but  insisted  that  most  of  these  pregnancies were by choice rather than accident.  “I don’t think nudity’s as big an issue as it used  to be though, I know a lot of people who would be  only  too  pleased  to  get  naked  in  front  of  anybody  and that might be more the problem,” she quipped.   Some  KU  students  are  teenage  parents  them‐ selves and have to juggle between bringing up their  child correctly and concentrating on getting a good  degree.  One  such  student  who  did  not  wish  to  be  named said; “I felt like dropping out of University at  times  because  I  got  so  tired.  But  luckily  with  the  help of friends and family I managed to pull though.  The University Nursery has also been really helpful  now that my son is older.”  The  OFSTED  inspected  KU  Nursery  caters  primarily  for  children  of  students  and  staff  and  boasts three fully equipped educational units.  The Nursery Deputy Director, Katy Evans said:  “The nursery only caters for children from the ages  of  two,  which  would  not  help  young  mums  with  babies  but  I  know  we  (KU  Nursery)  have  a  good  health  and  counselling  section  which  the  teenage  parents could find helpful. 

Continued on page 3

Cute car cousins 

Angelo State’s Finest Paper Since Fall 2006  Something to Read in Class Today 

Stop having babies and get naked!

Quote of the “James, our cars are like gay cousins” — Seth Chomout (see picture of the week) Week

Obama Files President Obama  was  at  the  G20  Summit  this  last  week. He came alongside other world leaders in taking  a strong stand against Iran and the new indications of  their nuclear program. Many leaders had strong words  for  the  Iranian  leadership,  and  President  Obama  said  that  Iran  was  “On  notice.”  Wait,  what?  That’s  it?  To  quote  John  Stewart,  “You  gave  the  crazy  guy  with  nukes the same warning Colbert gives  bears?”  It  is  clear  that  the  President  is not serious enough about our na‐ tional  security.  It’s  actually  quite  frightening.  We’re  just  weeks  away  from  President  Ahmadinejad  launching  a  missile  at  Cleve‐ land,  and  our  President  is  worrying  about  healthcare  and  making  sure  Chicago  gets  the  Olympics.  Get  your  priorities  straight,  sir!  

George Ferguson’s Ramdiculous Reader Involvement 

See page 6 for a article idea... Each week,  or  occasionally,  our  old  “rant  man”  G‐Ferg  will  be  challenging  you,  the  Ramdiculous Readers to write an article about a RANDOM topic.  Are you ready to take  the challenge?  You will win things, you never know, it could be a t‐shirt or a trip to the  Bahamas  or  even  a  new  CAR!!!    The  choice  to  participate  is  yours  and  yours  alone…  now enter the Temple of George Ferguson’s nightmares, here is your first challenge... 



Hello fellow Ramdiculous fans, it’s time for another segment of WTF. I don’t know if I can top last’s week’s awesome addition but I will try. If you remem-


For Sale 50 Golf balls $5 Call (325) 514-5619 Mug W/ Yogi Tea $1 Call (325) 212-0379 Bubble Wrap $1 Call (325) 212-0379 Jeep Bikini Top $10 Call (512) 567-4460

Classifieds We are now running classified ads in the Ramdiculous Page, this is a service to the students of ASU, please email ads@ramdiculous.c om to insert your free classifieds (max one per student)

ber a few article’s ago, there was a guy wearing a shirt the said “May I suggest the sausage” with the arrow pointing down below the belt. This shirt is very funny to me but may be offensive to other people. For all those people who think this shirt was offensive, there are far worst shirts out than that particular one. I have seen Halloween costumes worse than that one. I wonder where this picture was taken. All I have to say is beware of people with cameras because they will take

your photograph and through the power of magic, that photo will appear in the Ramdiculous page. Anyway, have you noticed some of the changes that have been going on around campus? If you have driven by the Education – Fine Arts building lately, you will notice these huge pots that separate the two zones. I swear this school has lost their mind. If our tuition has gone up just to pay for that, then I think it’s utterly Ramdiculous. Sometimes I feel this school

spends its money on the most stupid things and the students (maybe faculty) suffer for it. This somehow better benefit us for the long run, or there may some student uprising going on around campus. There are various opinions on this stuff. Some students may agree with me while other students got hit on the head with a rock when they were younger. That’s the end for me, its Krazy Kendra signing out. —Krazy Kendra

Nudes Continued from cover

“I’m not  sure  if  being  more  comfortable with nudity would affect  people’s  attitudes  towards  sex,  as  I  think there is many different cultures  and  beliefs  that  affect  your  upbring‐ ing and morals, and that education is  the key.”  Mr.  Boase  believes  that  this  perception  of  British  prudery  being  at  the  heart  of  teenage  pregnancy  problems  was  not  a  view  shared  by  all nudists.  He  said:  “Despite  the  obvious  correlation between countries where  nudism  is  more  accepted  and  lower  teenage  pregnancy  rates,  I  must  admit  that  there  is  no  evident  evi‐ dence  on  which  to  base  the  state‐ ment made by Scottish Nudists.” 


Top Ten Family Guy Quotes  10. Holy crip he's a crapple! (Peter) 9. You like popsicles? Then you need to come on down to the cellar; I got a whole freezer full of popsicles. Mmhmm. (Mr. Herbert) 8. I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through. (Quagmire) 7. Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch (Stewie) 6. The spirit of America is epitomized by his inspiring motto: "Smack smack sugar smack give me a smack and I'll smack you back!" (Adam West) 5. Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all. (Peter) 4. What the deuce? (Stewie) 3. Hey, baby. How would you like to go black, and then make a difficult decision regarding whether or not to go back? (Cleveland) 2. It's not that I want to kill's that I don't want her to be alive... anymore. (Stewie) 1. I just spent all morning watching a VH1 special on Gwen Stefani. I don't know what a Hollaback Girl is.... all I know is, I want her dead. (Brian)  

Dear Ramdiculous Page Hello? Are  you  there?  Does  this article make me look fat? I  mean  really,  society  has  come  to a point where people are so  concerned about their appear‐ ance  that  they  lose  track  of  who they are. What happened  to  when  students  wore  house  shoes  to  class,  mismatched  clothes,  and  holes  in  their  jeans  from  work,  not  Ameri‐ can  Eagle.  I  mean,  they  showed  up  to  class  right?  That’s the only thing that mat‐ tered. But no, now showing up  isn’t  good  enough,  people  ex‐ pect  you  to  be  color  coordi‐ nated  and  look  presentable.  Why don’t they just make uni‐ forms  mandatory?  I  mean  honestly,  if  we  look  at  things  logically,  appearance  doesn’t  matter  too  much.  Brittney  Spears  doesn’t  even  wear  un‐

derwear all the time, and with  her  name  popping  up  in  tab‐ loids weekly, she’s more popu‐ lar than ever. Donald Trump is  one  of  the  most  successful  men  in  America,  and  he’s  just  fine  wearing  a  fake  head  of  hair  on  top  of  his  head.  Now,  am I saying don’t wear undies  while in public, and wear fake  hair  on  your  head?  Perhaps.  But  more  importantly,  be  yourself.  Don’t  let  society  or  celebrities  or  anyone  else  tell  you who to be. And if you ever  need someone to talk to, I’ll be  the  guy  with  fake  hair  on  my  head,  not  wearing  any  under‐ wear.  Peace, Love & the Dollar Menu  Alvin Shabaz Jenkins 

WRITE FOR THE  RAMDICULOUS!!!    Contact us at:    PERKS  FREE FOOD  Fun activities  Sweet name badges  Participate in podcasts  Resume builder  Ride in limos  Go sledding in spring  Play Ramdiculous golf 


Pierce Love

Well, for starters, Pierce has an awesome last name, and he lives up to it. I’m pretty sure hat guy loves everybody. I know he loves me. He’s full of life and exuberance, and he may or may not be able to define exuberance, but that’s ok. He also has some killer dance moves. In general, he’s a fun guy, so go give him a hug, and tell him Santiago said hi. Just one warning: don’t try to take food from him. He will eat you.

ADVERTISE WITH US.  If you would like your ad to appear in the   Ramdiculous Page, please contact us at    

Advertising Guidelines  1.  Deadline  for  ads  to  be  submitted  is  1:00pm  the  Tuesday  before publication.  2.  Ads will be received only if they are complete. Ramdiculous  Page will not create any ads.  3.  Ad size will not exceed one‐quarter of a page.  4.  Organizations/events  may  have  more  than  one  ad,  but  no  organization/event  will  be  allowed more than one‐quarter  of a page in ad space.    Ramdiculous  Page  will  not  advertise  for  any  off‐campus  event  except  in  certain  circumstances,*  or  anything  of  questionable  nature. This includes but is not limited to:   Alcohol   <—haha this is the beer issue   drugs   tobacco   illegal activities  *Exceptions  to  this  rule  will  be  determined  the  staff  of   Ramdiculous Page 

GILLIAM HOME CALL: 325-812-2946



The Incredible Question

The Incredible Question

This week we received an email from this  guy.  The “May I suggest the Sausage Guy”, so  we asked our readers to tell us how we  should respond to his email:     I  was  recently  placed  in  the  ramdiculous  page  in  Volume  7,  Issue  23.  I  am  the  guy  on  page  3  wear‐ ing  the  "May  I  Sug‐ gest The Sausage" shirt. I was  not  notified  that  my  picture  was  going  to  be  placed  in  the  paper  and  be‐ cause  of  this  I  think  yall  owe  me  a  check  or  something.  $5  will  do.  Thank  you  for  your  time  and  I  will  be  expect‐ ing  the  check  by  Wednes‐ day the 30th.     Here are some responses 


Who’s This? Jump online to  tell us who this  is…   RAMDICULOUS.COM 

Last Weeks Correct Submissions  Homer J. Simpson,  Thanks to  Seth Chomout 

Last We e k s Sudoku Solution We are your voice, the voice of  the Students of Angelo State.  Be  heard, we would like to know  what you love about ASU, what  you hate about ASU and what  you think needs to be changed  around here.  We are here for  YOU!    If you have a comment, complaint, concern, or question, don’t  hesitate to contact us.  Via email, via phone   (325) 942‐2063, via our suggestion box in the UC, in our office UC  133 or even come attend our meetings at 6 PM on Monday nights. 

The Feast of Madness So I  have two people I need  to  write  about  this  fine  week.      Bam  this  guy  had  the  fol‐ lowing  to  say  to  Ramdicu‐ lous: was recently placed in  the  Ramdiculous  page  in  Volume 7, Issue 23. I am the  guy  on  page  3  wearing  the  "May  I  Suggest  The  Sau‐ sage"  shirt.  I  was  not  noti‐ fied  that  my  picture  was  going  to  be  placed  in  the  paper  and  because  of  this  I  think  yall  owe  me  a  check  or  something.  $5  will  do.  Thank  you  for  your  time  and  I  will  be  expecting  the  check  by  Wednesday  the  30th.   Really  I  mean  come  on  I  don’t  even  get  paid  for  the  things that I write (to some  its  apparent  why)  appar‐ ently  he  did  not  read  the  fine print so your five bucks  wont be coming in the mail  but  we  should  start  up  a  charity  to  find  this  guy  a  better  shirt  cause  its  not  that  funny  man.  Get  some  style and class man.              And  now  to  the  other  person that has emailed the  following: Please send Cap‐ tain  FuzzyBeard  to  the  Writing  Center  for  help  with  his  or  her  gram‐ mar.    In  addition,  perhaps  he or she could ask for sim‐ ple  p r o o f r e a d i n g  help.  While most of the ar‐ ticles  in  the  Ramdiculous  page are painful to read, his  or hers are excessively so.  I  decline to include an e‐mail  address  because  I  may  or 

may not  be  a  staff/faculty  member. Thanks. :)  Well  this  person  has  got  some  guts,  but  can  you  not  tell that Capt. FuzzyBeard is  a  guys  name,  really  you  couldn’t  see  it  well  your  dumber than you look. And  you decline to include your  email  cause  you  may  or  may  not  be  staff/faculty  member? That’s just saying  that  you’re  a  coward  that  cant  face  the  almighty  fury  of  Captain  FuzzyBeard.  Oh  and  the  you  think  every  thing  is  painful  a  read  is  hurtful  to  all  the  staff  here  at  Ramdiculous  so  shame  on you. We have feelings to  but  I  know  why  you’ve  done  and  insult  us  it  is  be‐ cause  you  are  unworthy  of  writing in Ramdiculous and  you  know  it.  So  bask  in  your  beam  of  shame  and  jealousy  and  bow  to  the  almighty  power  of  a  man  that has gone with the mass  media  spread  of  a  campus  radius  size  area  with  the  potential  of  san  angelo.  So  hahahahahahhahahahaha  to you who art afraid of me  the  great  captain  fuzzy‐ beard  and  are  cowardly  who  you  really  are  scared  of  crazy  ol  me,  Death  to  all  of  those  that  turn  back  to  Ramdiculous and the proud  captain, Death to all traitors  to the state, Death to shady  tacos, Death to little tortilla  boy.                                                    Captain FuzzyBeard  


Movie Times THE INVENTION OF LYING 11:45am 2:15pm 4:45pm 7:15pm 10:00pm TOY STORY DOUBLE FEATURE REAL D 3D 11:00am 3:15pm 7:30pm WHIP IT 1:30pm 4:15pm 7:00pm 9:45pm

Ramdiculous Observances Saturday


Alternative Fuel Day  (use potatoes) 

Mad Hatter Day  (I’m late, I’m late,   I hope your girlfriends not…)   

Sunday World Communion Day  (Convenient for Christians,   it’s Sunday)   

Monday World Teachers Day  (Say thanks for boring you to  read the Ramdiculous Page) 

9 - CinéArts 2:10pm 7:40pm






Wednesday Balloons Around The World   

Thursday World Sight Day  (good thing blind people can’t  read the Ramdiculous)   






ALL ABOUT STEVE 11:15am 1:55pm 4:25pm 7:10pm 10:10pm CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS - 2D 11:55am 2:25pm 4:55pm 7:25pm 9:55pm

The Time Traveler’s Wife



ZOMBIELAND 12:00pm 1:15pm 2:30pm 3:45pm 5:00pm 6:30pm 7:45pm 9:00pm 10:15pm

I must first admit, I was not particularly interested in this movie at all, but some friends were going, and I figured, “Rachel McAdams is hot, so why not.” Well, it just so happened that I enjoyed the movie. It’s about a man who will randomly travel through time, and he will stay gone for some amount of time then return, and he has no control over it. He ends up w i th Rachel McAdams who already knew him because he had traveled back in time and met her as a little girl many times, except when he meets her in the present, he hadn’t yet traveled back to meet her, so he didn’t know who she was. Did that make sense? I hope so, in any case, the rest of P




the story centers around the strain that his random leaving for indefinite amounts of time puts on his marriage, and also around the stress of knowing certain things he wished he didn’t from having traveled forward in time. If you are a sci-fi buff, this may not be for you as they make no real attempt to handle time travel in a feasible way. There is circular logic out the wazoo. But if like me, you can sit back and enjoy a movie for what it is, this could quite possibly be a good movie for you to see. It’s emotionally gripping at times, it’s happy, it’s sad, it’s sweet, and it gives a great example of what love is willing to go through. I give it a B. P






Published every Friday and available to students on campus.  This newspaper does not express the opinions of any writer, editor, or anyone affiliated with Angelo State University or the Texas Tech University System or this newspaper.   We welcome all letters.  Please include your name, position, and an email address.  All submissions are considered property of the Ramdiculous Page and will not be returned. Submit your letters via our email, or  website  Opinions in any letter or writing are not necessarily those of the staff, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration or the Ramdiculous  Page.  By submitting anything to the Ramdiculous Page, you are giving the Ramdiculous Page permission to use your Facebook and/or Myspace profile in any way the Ramdiculous Page deems usable, unless expressed in writing.  If you  are an professor you need not worry, we will not use your profiles. 

Volume 7, Issue 5  
Volume 7, Issue 5