Angelo State’s Finest Paper Since Fall 2006
A cynical view
Volume 6, Issue 6 Fly A Kite Day March 27, 2009
"It's not who you are underneath, but By: Albert Einstein what you do that defines you." ‐‐Batman Begins Does such a thing exist? One could argue that, according to the age old True story. This brings up an interesting debate of nature vs. nurture, nature proposition though ‐ if what you do must exist in humanity to some degree. defines who you are, and who you are is But in order that humans have a nature, what is underneath your public persona, some must harbor nurturing tendencies how does one differentiate between the in order to balance that equation. The two? For if the measure of a man is only problem with that is some people determined by deed, and occasionally would argue that every person has both word, then that which lies in your heart tendencies within their person as an becomes obsolete. But does that which inherent design attribute. But is this is underneath not also play a part in possible? Maybe. But the duality determining outward action? Every involved with this idea is fatally flawed action requires a catalyst, we know this because in any situation where from every science course we have ever something is pitted in opposition to taken ‐ nothing can happen without a something else, the stronger of the two force from without. What then, if we will emerge dominant. It is the remove that which is underneath, inevitability of Darwinism. would be the causative force to provoke deeds, whether good or ill, to display for Darwinism. others to judge and measure our character? Of course, nothing is ever Scientifically, Darwinism makes a lot of that simple. If it were, life would be too sense. Theoretically, it is even fairly easy; a game. And we already have the sound. I agree with Darwinian principle game of Life, so life as we know it would only in so much as it can be applied to be redundant as well as simplistic. The rhetoric, theories, and abstraction. The real problem is not in what we do or strong devour the weak, you see it all say, but the fact that life is a constant the time in business, in school systems, interaction of people with other people. and definitely in sports. One team, group, or business will crush all others and emerge stronger, faster, better, and Human nature. victorious. However, Darwinism, as a means of species
Picture of the week
Continued on page 3
Quote of the Week
“I have the chalk. I’m God.” -Dr. Diminnie Knowing Knature By: D’ino I’talles
Einstein did a lot for the 1953. See, even during the a small fraction of light All these lasers are fairly advancement of science, Cold War, science doesn’t through to ensure that the safe but you never want to even if it meant he had one really recognize political light is collimated or parallel point a laser at your eyes or of his daydreams again and boundaries. This first type and directed, which is why someone else’s eyes. The invented a new branch of of laser was really just a lasers project small dots on power output is low, but it physics. One invention that novelty, though it was a wall rather than is so focused that you can he isn’t often credited for is found useful in clocks due to illuminating a room like a damage your eyes faster by the laser. That simple term the nature of the constant flashlight. By the way, if staring at a laser pointer that we use today is actually frequency source. The ma‐ you’re a Star Wars geek, than by staring at the sun. an acronym for “Light ser quickly found its way don’t get excited because Laser pointers are typically Amplification by Stimulated into science fiction, immor‐ you can’t turn a crystal laser labeled as Class II devices, but there are much more Emission of Radiation.” talized in Godzilla with ma‐ into a lightsaber. powerful devices that are Einstein is responsible for ser tanks that shot bolts of the ‘stimulated emission’ lightning at monsters. By In the 1980s we came up required to have safety part because he predicted in the way, lasers don’t make with red diode lasers, which locks on them. You 1916 that it would be lightning. Sadly, there are you may have on a keychain shouldn’t play with them, possible to take energized few terrestrial examples of to annoy people in the but honestly playing with them is the best part. electrons and “stimulate” masers, although it seems movie theater. This is a them with matching energy that space is quite effective simple device made from Carbon dioxide lasers are pretty easy to make and until they “emit” more at creating them. But fear t w o s e m i c o n d u c t o r radiation than can be not, for I have dismantled a materials that emits light they emit an infrared light absorbed. Today we have cooking microwave and when you run a current that can cause many things gas lasers which are used in I’m planning on building a through it. And right about to burst into flames after a short exposure. You can laboratories, chemical lasers maser to instantly heat the year 2000 we used as weapons, dye lasers my coffee in the morning. commercialized green laser also use them to cut sheets used in medicine, solid‐state pointers. These are not of metal, engrave your and metal‐vapor lasers used In 1960 we finally created purely green sources, but name in stone, and perform in research, and semicon‐ an optical laser with a ruby rather infrared lasers that surgery (please don’t try source, appropriately called have been filtered and that). ductor lasers used in communication or keychain the ruby laser. It was modulated through crystals So the next time you’re basically a flashtube (think and mirrors until it comes driving your cat insane by laser pointers. of a fluorescent bulb) out as green. This is also having it chase a laser dot or The first laser was actually a wrapped around a crystal true for the new blue laser you have your laser sight MASER, or a laser that emits that would flash and cause pointers from 2006. locked on the enemy in Call microwaves, that was light to be emitted from the of Duty 4, remember what designed by Soviets in 1952 ruby crystal. We put mirrors physics has done for you. and built by Americans in on both sides and allow only
Darwin Awards 1996, Canada Sleeping residents of Chilliwack were awakened early one morning by the sound of a small aircraft flying lower than usual. The engine noise was like a mosquito, zooming too close too quick, then veering away. What the bleep was going on? In the wee hours of the night, during a bout of heavy drinking, two future Darwin Award nominees concluded that, with neither had a pilot's license nor flight training, they nevertheless knew enough to pilot an aircraft. They drew the obvious conclusion, and decided to take a plane from the small local airport for a drunken joyride over the city. They invited two females along for the ride; fortunately, the level‐headed ladies declined.
worked at the airport and had access to the tarmac. The two men then managed to unlock a plane and get it off the ground and into the sky. They went on to buzz around in the dark, skimming above the roofs of the houses. This went on for an extended period of time. Eventually they decided to land. They attempted to land on the grassy me‐ dian between east and west‐bound lanes of the Trans Canada Highway. They almost made it under the electri‐ cal wires that cross the median. Al‐ most. Where these wires were con‐ cerned, fate intervened. Instead of making a soft landing on the grassy verge, the tail clipped the wires, send‐ ing the aircraft diving nose‐first into the ground and killing both occupants.
Only then were the sleepy Chilliwack residents able to return to their REM From idea to execution, the plan sleep. evolved quickly. One of the gentlemen
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maintenance, makes little sense. I would say that it makes no sense, but within Continued from cover the realms of ones own species, Darwinism is present. Unfortunately, people have come to use the misnomer of "adaptation" rather than the taboo word evolution because evolution makes people queasy and vehemently angry. Simple fact is, what has been deemed adaptation is evolution within a species to better that particular group in order that it survive the existing, changing environment. Granted, humans do not go around eating one another, at least not in civilized countries, to weed out the weak ‐ we have found a better way of doing that. Prison. Prison, quite simply, is the housekeeper of society that sweeps away all the dirt, grime, and filth so that the rest of society can maintain an air of propriety and cleanliness. To that end, prison is the ultimate culmination of Sartrean existentialism, it represents everything of which Sartre believed about life, love, and humanity; Hell is other people.
When your professor tells you he has wiener’s disease
now an interactive media experience
WTF!?!?!?!?!?! By: Kendra Franklin I see these things all around campus, and I don’t understand why they are here. The one covering the sitting are by the UC make sense but not the others. What has this school come too???? Are they supposed to be some kind of art or something?? Maybe they were just meant to be shading for random people who stand in random places. All I’m saying is that they most likely don’t need to be randomly located around campus, in places that don’t make any sense. Plus they look awkward and dow nright ridiculous. There is a better use for the school’s money’s besides these things.
F o r i n stance………….something other than that. Here’s a suggestion, why not put grass on the ground for centennial, since that is taking almost forever and a day to do. Shade is nice for certain spots on campus, but not by the MCS or between the UC. When it rains then what are you going to do huh. Think about that why don’t you.
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What I learned By: Edwin A. Abbot
A month or so ago me and my friends wrong, despite my great math expertise. jokingly yelled to a number of students Occasionally I will get something write that were doing Discover ASU that they and I will make it a point to the whole should not go to our school, and that it entire class that I did. Then I will usually was our last choice for schools. While a follow this up with a super awesome lot of people may poke fun at our school, I conclusion about the material I learned have to say that after spending 3 years in for the day. For instance, I recently it I am thoroughly impressed. It provides learned that capacitors are the key to the an affordable and quality education, not universe, and without them we would not to mention wicked cool TVs and pool exist. Not really, my physics teacher tables in a state of the art university cen‐ corrects me, stating that “They merely ter. So, in an effort to redeem my joking reveal things about the universe that are mistake of a month ago and to garner vital to our existence.” Well, I was kind of potential students, I will run a weekly right. column describing what I learn in school Tuesdays and Thursdays are usually every week. Sounds like fun, right? uneventful. I totally kick ass at Calculus 3, Yesterday was a blast. I cruised through and made my first 100 on any Calculus Facebook for about 30 minutes of a 50 test ever. It was a big deal to me. But... minute computer science class. The last the best part of the day comes when I go 15 minutes I typed up questions I had to to Abstract Algebra. The funniest part is I do for my group project, and then left 5 just had to look up the name of this minutes early. I'm not sure what is due course on the website, because I kept calling it the wrong name. I am extremely tomorrow. fortunate that I only have to go to the I arrived at Physics and turned in my board every other 17 people or so, homework, prepared as always. I sit next because I really have no clue what I'm to a kid named James, he touches me in doing. I did okay on the last test, but since weird places and calls me names. Every 5 then we have covered a lot of material, minutes or so I will say something dumb, and I would estimate I know what 10% of or something that I am serious about but is it even about. By the way, did I tell you ‐A badger riding a surfboard it's arms in the air and growl‐ disguise in a kidding manner so as to not they increased my Carr Scholarship? It is compromise my incredible intellectual so great to know that the great school of on its hind legs and wearing ing in delight (Wait. Do integrity. After this circus act, I usually get Angelo State University rewards awesome a goofy grin (Because we all m o u n t a i n lions l i k e serious and take notes about the material students like me. Well, that is all, I hope rollercoaster rides?). know badgers are mean crea‐ on the board. Usually my Physics teacher you enjoyed my column imparting my will make a drawing that I will draw wisdom and knowledge for everyone to tures, right?). incorrectly many times putting me behind know, regardless of education, ‐A bear playing hopscotch in the notes. I also will get every single background, height, smell, hair color, or with a human being (Can ‐A mountain lion going for a integral or derivative that we do in class bow‐leggedness.
Imagine This By: Sandy Arbor
rollercoaster ride and raising bears even hop???).
and because his fear is Dear Pragmatic Patsy, obviously irrational, I live at home with my p r o b a b l y o f f e r i n g parents and my uncle. solutions that seem to While being in college make sense to you won’t and still living with mom to him. You could hang and dad might be reason air fresheners, add some enough to ask for advice, Glade plug‐ins, keep I have a more specific sprays around to spray problem. My uncle with after he sits or stands whom I live refuses to nearby. Perhaps this will bathe. He claims that it give him a hint. Also, gives him ear infections. I there may be industrial believe it has been over a sprayers that spray every year since his last 30 seconds, like you have excursion into the tub, seen in bathrooms, and and the smell is you could place these in becoming unbearable. various locations. Have My mother and I have you tried suggesting ear tried repeatedly to get plugs? Or maybe you him to buy a shower cap could sponge bathe him. and clean himself, but he Wow. Over a year. This is still refuses. What can I a tough one—does he go to the doctor? Perhaps a do? (other than the obvious choice of moving doctor can convince him out, which I am trying to that there is no need to do) fear ear infections… Smell‐less in San Angelo Tenderly, Pragmatic Patsy Dear Smell‐less in San Pragmatic Patsy thanks Angelo, her readers for their This is a complicated letters, and always problem. First of all, I’m appreciates them. Send not sure exactly how a them to: shower cap would totally prevent ear infections— firstname.lastname@example.org.
Things to watch at 7:30am
10. My Friends Tigger & Pooh (Disney Channel) 9. Sabrina the Teenage Witch (ABC Family) 8. Still Standing (Lifetime) 7. Dora the Explorer (Nickelodeon) 6. Celebrity Ab Secrets (SPIKE) 5. Saved by the Bell (TBS) 4. Batman: The Brave and the Bold (Cartoon Network) 3. JAG (VH1) 2. The Golden Girls (Hallmark) 1. M*A*S*H (MNT)
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The Incredible Question
What is your favorite energy drink? Milk ‐Katie Harpool
Last Weeks Correct Submissions
Spike the Bulldog
POWERTHIRST!!!! ‐Zachary Marsden
Red Bull! ‐Yvonne Dauber
Monster! ‐Megan Ellis Rockstar Baby! ‐Zach Morgan
Movie Times KNOWING DUPLICITY 1:00pm 4:10pm 7:25pm 11:35am 1:05pm 2:35pm 4:05pm 5:35pm 7:05pm 10:35pm 8:35pm 10:05pm 11:35pm 12 ROUNDS 1:15pm 4:15pm 7:30pm THE HAUNTING IN 10:30pm CONNECTICUT 11:45am 2:15pm 4:45pm I LOVE YOU, MAN 7:15pm 9:45pm 1:30pm 4:35pm 7:35pm 10:25pm
Ramdiculous Observances Saturday–Weed
Appreciation Day (we
Day (Ay Yi Yi!)
cannot condone this
I Love You, Man
Sunday—Lucy Lawless’s Birthday (Xena it up!)
Thursday—Kick Butts Day (yesterday was April
Foo’s so go get them
(speaking of MDs, not
Morning my fellow Rams and of man‐dates (which are dates Belles of Angelo State Univer‐ for straight man to meet and sity!!!Spring Break 09: Alcohol hang out and become better was consumed, hook‐ups friends), he finally connects occurred and people’s cars with a guy name Sydney. This blew up. WHAT A film was hilarious and very well paced. You RAMTASTIC WEEK! I won’t believe that enjoyed my week off you were in the from everything in theater for 2 hours. Phoenix, AZ and it was Watch it and you will RAMing hot. After a soon understand that week of promise of slapping the bass is being wild and crazy, I figured we should something we should keep the movie review all do. Jo Ben out. light this week, so I went with I don’t know what that was, a comedy. I Love You, Man! sorry, I’m drunk. (Watch the movie & you will understand I Love You, Man! is about a guy that too) name Peter who does not really have any friends beyond his girlfriend relationships. He ‐Smitty McSmitherson O’Toole gets engaged in the beginning the Third from the Golden of the film and it dawns on him Forest of Gnome, Alaska that he doesn’t have a Best Man. As Peter goes on a series P
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