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A

Ramdiculous Page A ngelo State' s F i nes t P aper Since F all 2 00 6

www.RAMDICULOUS.com/rossi

A Volume 2, Issue 6

March 9, 2007 Panic Day

Included in this issue: Ram of the Week

2

Movie Review

2

Quote of the Week

3

Weather

3

Street Interviews

3

Poetry Corner

4

Who’s this?

4

Thoughts To Ponder

4

Last Issue’s Answers

5

FOOD!!!

7

Movies

8

Wasco’s Corner

8

It has been said that a picture is worth a thousand words, but no one ever specifies what those words are. If the picture is terrible, that would indicate that the words it conveys and the feelings it inspires would have to be terrible as well. Or conversely, if the picture is amazing, words of praise would be in order unless of course, the picture leaves you speechless all together. It is true that pictures will provide various interpretations and leave one with feelings that might differ from someone else. One such picture, drawn by someone who is very much a voice speaking out against the Ramdiculous Page, that was recently brought to the attention of the Ramdiculous Page has found its way to the internet and has inspired much laughter and become the brunt of jokes. This picture, though very well drawn and brilliantly colored, depicts a vulgar and demeaning scene. In the photo, a rather large monkey in polka dot boxer shorts is leering over his shoulder menacingly and urinating on the Ramdiculous Page logo while stating that he is "kinda busy." Now, art is always open for debate and interpretation and must thusly be treated with respect and viewed in a way that one can understand the artist's intent and meaning. In this case, however, the meaning is clear -- the Ramdiculous Page is something that monkeys urinate on. A clever and humorous idea considering that the Ramdiculous Page is widely read and largely popular. Not only that, but this art (so called) would only be genuinely funny to a third grader who is still under the impression that all jokes involving pee, poop, and flatulence are the best things on earth. Certainly someone who is considered to have moderate intelligence, being that they are pursuing higher education, would not think that this was uproariously funny. Not to mention the fact that it is incredibly cliché. Surely someone with a diploma and who is pursuing a Bachelor's

Picture of the Week Creepy !!!

degree would be able to come up with something more original than a cheap knock-off of the Calvin bumper stickers that were wildly popular in the 1990's. But alas, this does not seem to be the case. How pathetic. Seriously, how can you possibly feel good about yourself when your attempt at making someone look bad involves ripping off an already overused idea? Let us not forget that part of appreciating art and artistic expression is the individual right of interpretation which leads to the next point. The picture is of a monkey urinating, does this not strike you as odd? Why use a monkey instead of a caricature of a person, at least then the idea would be more "real." It has been known for a while now that the term and depiction of monkeys was once used as a racial slur to refer to the African-American race. So this photo is not only idiotic in its nature, but also must be a racial slam in the face of all African-Americans. The artist must be trying to get the point across that he thinks that AfricanAmericans are too dumb to grasp the concept and humor presented in the Ramdiculous Page. Clearly, there is some animosity between the artist of the cartoon and the African-American race. Maybe the artist is a neo-Nazi or in the Ku Klux Klan or perhaps is just a bigot. Whatever the case, the Ramdiculous Page wishes to express that racial slandering is neither appropriate or condoned by anyone on our staff. Perhaps though, the cartoon is not a racial slur. Maybe it is just meant to imply that all those who are opposed to the Ramdiculous Page are simpletons and, in the scope of Darwinism, lesser evolved than those who read, write and enjoy the Ramdiculous Page. The artist clearly does not grasp the fact that humor is part of everyday life and is jealous of the fact that he/she is unable to understand the Ramdiculous Page and its views. But why would he insult all those who are on his side by drawing this

Would you like some cheese with that wine? cartoon and showing that all who are anti-Ramdiculous are monkeys with tiny brains and little concept of human life? Simply put, he/she hates animals and the fact that he/she is one by virtue of not being able to understand the things presented by the Ramdiculous Page. Then again, the picture could just be what it is -a trite, cliché, washed-out, boring piece of propaganda being circulated by jealous persons whose only goal in life is to make people feel sorry for them because they are being threatened by another newspaper. This is ridiculous. Competition makes people better by pushing them to keep up with someone else. Get over the junior high jealous friend thing and man up, don't just cry and moan because you have to actually be good now. Actually BE good. Spark that creativity and be original and entertaining, your peers and your competition will respect you more for it and you won't have to cry yourself to sleep at night anymore. --Samuel Clemens

Strange Observances (holidays etc…) Saturday - National Blueberry PopTart Day (yea, but s'mores are better) Sunday - Worship of Tools Day (everybody needs worship sometimes) Monday - Alfred Hitchcock Day (a true master, rent rope) Tuesday - Sticking Very Close Together for Fairies Day (ummm..you figure it out) Wednesday - Pilgrimage to the Dragon Pagoda Thursday - Rude Awakening Day (sacktap a sleeping friend)

Submit your photos at ramdiculous.com


Volume 2, Issue 6

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Ramdiculous Page

RAM OF THE WEEK In my life, I have streaked naked down a Christoval highway, put out a lit cigarette on my hand, let someone slap me in the face as hard as they could (which, by the way, was caught on tape and was on the internet for a time), purposely rolled down a flight and a half of stairs several times, and eaten many things off the ground of the San Angelo Coliseum while cleaning up after performances of the San Angelo Stock Show and Rodeo this past February and lived to tell about all of it. But none of these top one of my biggest random

moments. In high school, I had a friend who would take me home from school every day. Let's just call him Glen. No, wait...let's call him Goober. Yeah...Goober. Anyways, Goober used to take me home every day. This Goober fella had a mid-90's model Honda Accord which was still in pretty good condition in 2003. One day after school, out of complete randomness, I told him, "Hey Goober...I'm-a gunna jump out of your there Honda Accord." (cont’d on pg 4)

Awkwardness... When one of your classmates asks “Did you get anyone wet last night?” This section of the Ramdiculous Page is for things that make a normal person feel awkward… Submit your thoughts @ ramdiculous.com

Firing People for Stupid Resons We regret to inform you that this week, there will not be a movie review. For undisclosed personal reasons, Towndrow P Snood has failed to perform his duties to the Ramdiculous Page. Because of this, and his affiliation with certain members of an elitist group of conspirators, Towndrow has henceforth been released from the Ramdiculous Page. Those who sacked him wish it to be known that even though Towndrow P Snood will no longer be with the Ramdiculous Page, his spirit and memory live on through the pack of yellow whooping llamas that have been hired to replace him. Additionally, those in charge of sacking Towndrow P Snood, because of their insubordinance, and hiring of the yellow whooping llamas, have just been sacked. These actions carry with them a heavy heart and a whole lot of chocolate pudding. The fact of the matter

is that Towndrow P Snood betrayed the loyalties of the Ramdiculous staff and maliciously had friends outside the newspaper. We found this to be too much like having a real life and demanded that he drop all ties to anyone not immediately related to the paper. He chose not to heed our request and we thus had to drop him like he was hot, which of course he is but that is beside the point. Our one time friend Towndrow will be missed but we feel that the sacking of him will ultimately lead to better things for him. Perhaps he will be picked up by the Ram Page. Or maybe we will offer a trade of our movie review guy for their former cartoonist. In any event, the next issue will feature our newly acquired movie critic, Kendall T Longbottom.

—Ramdiculous Editor

Dacy Briggs

THE WEEKLY JOURNAL

by: Geor ge Fer gu son

WARNING: Do not read this if you don’t have a sense of humor ex: people who think that we actually want to get famous by doing this paper. If we wanted to get famous, we would put our names out there. Today I thought that since I had a quesadilla at lunch I would write one of my all-time favorite jokes. But first, I have a song I just heard that I wanted all you to hear. I can tell by the smell That you're not very well Diarrhea, boom! boom! Diarrhea. It's not very funny, In fact it's kinda runny, Diarrhea, boom! boom! Diarrhea! No pain No strain Just sit and let it drain, Diarrhea...diarrhea When you finally make it home And your pants are full of foam Diarrhea...diarrhea -Dedicated to Benjamin Rossi That was fun. Now on to the real point of my story. I want to tell you about a little boy. This little boy was named Barabus, because his parents made him by accident. Or so they say…well, it happens that this little boy was getting ready for school one day when his mom yelled “Barabus, don’t forget your pickle sandwich!” Being the loyal and kind son he was, he promptly responded with the typical southern “Yes Ma’am”. So off Barabus went skipping merrily to school with his pickle sandwich in tow. Lucky for him, he got to a dumpster, in which he did not hesitate to throw the sandwich. With the pickle sandwich off his hands, he was able to skip higher and sing merrier. And so Barabus arrived at school. Since he was the typical American student, he sat with perfect posture in his desk, listening intently to the teachers words which rested upon his ears, and throughout his classes he walked quickly between each class avoiding the other “indecent” children which were playing in the hall (which is forbidden). Little Barabus made it through all his morning classes and got the opportunity to dine. But there was a problem. He had thrown his pickle sandwich away out of disgust of his parents telling him he was an accident. I believe the last words his father said to him were “Out of millions, you got there the fastest?” But little did Barabus know, today would be his lucky day. He had no idea that his lunch was about to get pimped! XYZbit showed up with a couple *****ables (I cannot put the full name because trickster might accuse us of anti-Semitism. Long story). Little Barabus, out of sheer excitement shouted OMG! ROFL! LOL! and gobbled down his ****ables faster than superman drinking a ***bull. So Barabus left for his afternoon classes on a full stomach. After classes dismissed for the day, Barabus went on his merry way, through the jungle and to the grassy knoll where his hut was. Then he crossed some train tracks and got run over by a train.


Volume 2, Issue 6

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Ramdiculous Page

WEATHER: South Padre Island, Texas

Quote of the Week

Is pimpin' easy?

“Dude you got the WHOLE cat!”

Leroy Chambers

This Week’s Happenings

hell yea...

Primetime TV Show

Time

Channel

Day

Psych

9:00 PM

25 USA

Friday

Family Guy

8:00 PM

10 FOX

Sunday

The Day After Tomorrow

6:30 PM

24 FX

Monday

Rules of Engagement

8:30 PM

5 CBS

Monday

Bam’s Unholy Union

8:30 PM

64 MTV

Tuesday

The Knights of Prosperity

7:30 PM

2 ABC

Wednesday

Adrian San Miguel Alonso

Til’ Death

8:30 PM

14 CW

Wednesday

Lost

9:00 PM

2 ABC

Wednesday

Scrubs

8:00 PM

3 NBC

Thursday

First Round NCAA Basketball

6:00 PM

5 CBS

Thursday

First Round NCAA Basketball

8:30 PM

5 CBS

Thursday

I am currently working on my Bachelor's of Pimpin'. I can honestly say pimpin aint easy, it's a way of life.

Sally Shiluk For starters, you must own a little black book. Don't hesitate to get those numbers. Then the "connections" start to mount.

Upcoming Events SPRING BREAK

Drink:

Root Beer Float

Baseball and Softball. Check RamPort

Snack:

Chicken Wings

BSM Activities NO BSM ACTIVITIES PRAY FOR MISSION GOERS

Consumables of the Week

Make sure you have at least one this week


Volume 2, Issue 6

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Ramdiculous Page

The Adventures of the Honda Accord (cont’d from pg 2) (BTW, I really don't talk like this. If I did, then I would have moved to Alabama and adopted the name Forrest Gump a long time ago.) He said to me "OK dude, whatever floats your boat." So, as the mid-90s Honda Accord picked up speed in the school parking lot, I opened the car door and leapt out of the car like a cat coming out of water. I hit the ground feet-first, then rolled around a couple of times. He slowed down quite a bit, but didn't turn around. I hobbled back to his car, opened the door, and was approached with extreme laughter at my stupid-ness. He said "That was the funniest thing that I have ever seen." I looked around to see if the school principal had seen me. No, luckily it was 3:30 on a Friday afternoon and everyone just wanted to get the heck out of Dodge at 3:15. I breathed a sigh of relief. Luckily, I was not in much pain because I had fallen on a paved road. Thank God for the construction workers, big businesses to make the money for the construction workers to pave the roads, and the Republican party to back the big businesses because otherwise, I would have been a goner. The next week, my friend Goober drove me home again. And again, I got the exceptionally bright idea to tell him "Hey Goober, I think I want to jump out of your moving vehicle again and risk very serious and traumatizing injuries once more...just for kicks and giggles" Noticed that I pulled a Flowers for Algernon and gained about 150

IQ points in a week. Pretty impressive, huh?) He said "OK dude, whatever floats your boat." Unfortunately, my boat was a submarine and never floated. I made the stupid mistake to wait until he got on a gravel road to jump out this time. This time, I hit the ground ankles-first, rolled around a few times, almost got hit by a red Ford Mustang, the Bat mobile, the time machine from Back to the Future, E.T. on his bicycle, ten Budweiser Clydesdale horses, and the ASU Marching Ram Band, with each person/extraterrestrial using their transportation devices flipping me the bird as they drove/trotted/marched off, and felt like I had just been body slammed by Goober's mother. Again, I hobbled up the car, opened the door, and was approached with more extreme laughter at my more extreme stupidity. Only this time, I was in some serious pain and was not laughing. I looked around to see if the school principal saw me. As I tried to turn to my right, I saw him from about 50 ft. away staring at Goober's Honda Accord and writing something down on a piece of paper. This time, I was a goner. The next day, I came into my first class to incredible laughter toward me. Goober had told

all of his peanut buddies (Cashew, Pistachio, Almond, and Peanut Butter. Peanut Butter and his girlfriend Jelly were planning to get married at about lunchtime on a piece of bread, then they were going to go floating down the digestive system for their honeymoon) about my adventures from the day before. I had people around me asking how much I was hurting and also for my autograph, which I happily gave to them. Next thing you know, I get called into the principal's office. While in the office, my high school principal tried to keep a straight face and tell me that I should be ashamed at what I did. After a while, he showed me the tape that the school took of my stunt and started busting out laughing. Turns out, even school administrators thought it was funny too. I ended up getting a day of detention and a lifetime of memories from what is probably one of my craziest experiences. —Dacy Briggs

POETRY CORNER Ode to the Water Boy He is the force behind the team His backstage work forms what is seen He's really the only one they need He is the water boy indeed The power beyond all others A menace to his foes He is the hope to all his brothers And everybody knows

(3/9/07)

What would they do; where would they turn How could they make it without his care and concern He's really the only one they need He is the water boy indeed

DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS???

Thoughts To Ponder •

Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism?

If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking?

What is a male ladybug called?

If you do, go to: ramdiculous.com


Volume 2, Issue 6

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Ramdiculous Page

LISTEN TO US ON:

I COULDN’T DO IT WITHOUT YOU By: George Orwell “All animals are created equal, but some are more equal than others”

Well, we are almost half-way through this semester. As a freshman, I am very excited to be within sight of that light at the end of the tunnel of my first year (well, I think that’s what I see, but it may just be some idiot with a flashlight trying to throw me off). In any case, I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those who did the most to help me get this far, HEB and Wal-Mart. Without those two I do not know what I would have

done. HEB has been a constant supporter, providing me with food and drinks with which to stock my fridge— the very food and drinks which have enabled me to stay up late on many occasions, whether I was finishing homework or studying or honing my ninja skills. Then there is Wal-Mart. What would any of us do without them? We all know that there will come times when you are up at three in the morning, and you go to your fridge only to discover that it is empty. And what do you do then? You panic of course. But then, you remember the one place you know you can count on 22/7

CHECK US OUT @

(between three and five in the afternoon, they are just downright crazy). Yes, when all other stores are closed, when everyone else has said, “It’s too freakin’ late. I’m going to bed!” Wal-Mart says, “I don’t have a life. I can stay up and help you!” So I think we should all remember them this week and show them our appreciation; and then, when you get a good grade on that test you were up studying for, remember, you didn’t do it alone.

A

Ramdiculous will be making weekly appearances on Ram Radio’s “The ***** & Keith Show” LIVE Thursday @ 5:30pm - 7:30pm www.angelo.edu/services/ramradio or go to ramdiculous.com and

Brainteasers

These are some brainteasers, if you don’t know what they are go home… the answers will be down there next week...

The Answers from last week:

MYSPHAINTTS Search and

your

B B O W W

Fairy, Wolf, Duckling Robert Terwillinger aka Sideshow Bob

Paradox Big House Four over par Tad under tempo ***** = censored by ASU Com. Dept.


Volume 2, Issue 6

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Ramdiculous Page

Spring Break Safety If you would like your ad to appear in the Ramdiculous Page please email us: page@ramdiculous.com

Sports Scores Rugby: State Champions!!! Softball: 9-2, ASU Baseball: 7-2, ASU

It’s that time of year again. The air is warmer, the grass is greener (sort of), and everyone is anxious for this week to end. Spring break is one of the greatest things to ever happen to school. It’s a chance to relax and have a little fun for a change, and that is a wonderful thing, but is there a darker side to this week? A side that perhaps, the powers that be wish you not to know of? And the answer is, no, not really, but there are well known dangers none the less, which every year manage to be hazards to hundreds of Spring Breakers. So I will share with you ten tips to optimize your fun as well as your safety.

1.

If the shark doesn’t want to take a picture with you, don’t push the matter. He’s just shy.

you back in.

2.

7.

Throwing up on the cop won’t make him feel sorry for you and less likely to give you that DWI.

3.

Stay away from Miami. Those people are nuts!

4.

Nothing good ever comes after the words, “You’ll be fine, I’ve done this a million times.”

5.

If you go to Mexico, be sure to use sunscreen. You wouldn’t want the b o r der patrol to not let

6.

Don’t spike your dog’s water dish. It won’t be pretty. Orlando Bloom is fruity.

8.

If you get lost out in the ocean, don’t ask a rainbow fish for directions. They’re always full of it.

9.

Don’t go to Montana. It’s not dangerous, but it is boring.

10. Your

week is only as safe as the dumbest thing you do.

By: Wernher von Braun

FAMILY TRADE Jake McKay was drawn to the clown portraits by Rouault because he was eighteen years old. The girl was in her pink nightie and when she saw Giles she dashed across the room toward him. It simply never occurred to him to go back to his room merely for his beanie. The cubicle of the Monument observation deck was on the other hand ill lit and still damp from the rain. Jake went rigid inside, clamped down on his emotion and for once, did not, or so it seemed to him, betray himself. He was sitting at the head of an ROTC table. His thatch of black hair parted just off the center of his head was like him; it barely seemed to have been combed, much less fussed over, but not a strand seemed out of place. General Groves stood, fussed with his tie, and fingered the table. He did not move a muscle, but stood where he was, straining to see. Without the Americans the Germans would have done this and worse by now to London. After a moment the lights sputtered on, still dim, but by comparison to the pitch-black, the room was brilliantly illuminated now. Jake lowered his voice suddenly and forced himself to speak calmly. "I'll have him call you. I know he wants to talk to you." Jake drove the ambulance the forty meters to the corner. Magda didn't answer him and Jake knew

that he was lying side by side now with the very secret he had been raised to hate. But out of the corner of his eye he saw, slowing to a stop on the circle fifty yards across the lawn, the gray Mercedes. He had not been so conscious of a woman's body, apart from Linda's, in a long time. It was important not to be thought to have bad taste in poon. He was more than five hundred feet above it, inside the Washington Monument and he was seeing the city whole, the way officers see their battlefields on maps. He had to get altitude -- up and down, up and down! -- by doubling the force with which he shoved off from his right foot. That night at Giles's club it had been Jake who confessed to feeling outclassed. His e r e c tio n throbbed in his pants and he felt embarrassed. Patterson crouched by Neisen, braced himself against the scientist's shoulder, and put his mouth to his ear. Someone else entered, stoop-shouldered and shuffling. This was what went wrong not his mother's life or his sister's, but in his! Giles touched him, "You feel this way because you love your family so much." "Forgive me, Giles," Jake said, "but is that why you came out here?" "Except for history, I suppose, it is." Jake

craned around the edge of the door to watch them. Patterson put his cigarette out, not unaware of the subservience implicit in Neisen's having stood and in his waiting now for direction. They informed the British as a way of getting rid of him. Jake shifted his stick and shook hands with the man. The reporter struck a match and touched it to his cigar, even though his cigar was still lit. He followed him into a room that, despite the black cloth that sealed shut the floor-to-ceiling windows, was nearly as bright as daylight. "Has it been unbearable?" he asked inanely. "I just came out, didn't I?" "I gotta write this story whether you help me out or not." "You should be cautious as in all things." Jake nodded. He would believe his father on his father's authority, but also he noted that what his father was telling him squared with what Giles had said and Magda, too, for that matter. Jake showed no sign that what she said registered, but inwardly it was as if a wrecker's ball had been swung against the structure of his defenses. His face reddened, not at the compliment but at the contradiction it was to how he felt. "Don't be crazy." "Come upstairs, there are some nudes." They stared at each other. He was no coward that was clear. "The present circumstance is always extraordinary, in my opinion." "That's very kind of you." Before going up the stairs Jake crossed to the large double doors that led to the great hall, the two-story-high room around which the rest of the house was arranged. Jake felt a fresh stab of fear and doubled over. In that moment, he died. --Albert Einstein

Words of wisdom from the great Stephen Colbert “Larry you know he's not dead, you know that right? Ok. Rose from the dead on the third day, ascended to heaven, is seated at the right hand of the father, will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead. Or don't they teach you that in Hebrew school?” Art by:

http://www.isthistomorrow.com/


Ramdiculous Page

TASTE TESTING

Do you want to know where the best places in San Angelo are to eat??? Well you have the right paper once again… Over this semester we will be ranking different dining establishments based only on taste. Each week we will tell you which establishment has the best food.

224-0818

1309 Knickerbocker

4384 Sherwood Way

1. Cheddar’s Spinach Dip 655-6200

3556 Knikerbocker

433 Sherwood Way 944-7669

2. Olive Garden Smoked Mozzarella Fonduta

4399 W. Houston Hrt Expy

3. Chili’s

227-6777 4251 Sherwood Way 223-9464

Chicken Crispers

4. Johnny Carino’s Dynamite Sticks

949-0427 1407 Knickerbocker 655-8744

5. Logan’s 3950 W Loop 306

Bread 944-9889

Other Participants in alphabetical order

On Avenue N 944-0581

Applebees Buffalo Wild Wings CiCi’s Domino’s Wing Stop

Off Sherwood Way 947-8040

This contest is based on the Ramdiculous Staff’s taste buds. We encourage the reader to try out the different restaurants on this list. We were not bribed in any way for the outcome of this contest. NOTHING INFLUENCED US. All results are final. We take no responsibility for any action that results from this story. Food is good and we like it, this is why this story is run. —RAMDICULOUS PAGE If you would like to be included in the Ramdiculous food testing competition drop us an email at page@ramdiculous.com thanks


DANTE RESIDENTIAL ramdiculous.com/savethecomic My co-host, Bryce Parsons was recently let go from the RamPage. As you all may know, there has been quite a bit of squabbling going back and forth between the Ram Page and Ramdiculous Page. Originally, my co-host was contacted because the RamPage felt it odd that he had a radio show that featured the Ramdiculous Page as guests. They believed that Bryce Parsons was possibly behind the Ramdiculous page. The true story is that I invited these gentleman onto the show after seeing their paper last semester. I felt that many people found their paper to be entertaining, and our show was struggling at the time. When Bryce and I began our show, we never signed any papers regarding a format or rules for Ram Radio. There is not one single file on record regarding the format of our show and what we can and can’t say, although I’m proud to admit we haven’t said anything finable by the FCC. Our show was a classic rock/talk show format, and from day one it included all the best classic rock music, as well as DJ banter and “Karaoke Minute”, a revolutionary new segment where we butcher a song at the end of the show with our less than sub par singing. That aside, we have been following this format for over a semester, and accumulated a small respectable gathering of listeners in the process. It was recently this semester that we began to invite Ramdiculous onto the show, however we made an address after Bryce was initially contacted by the Drama/Communication/Journalism department. Their initial contact had no overtones of termination of employment. On March 7, 2007, the Drama/Communication/Journalism Department called an “urgent” meeting with Bryce to let him know that he would be let go from the RamPage, and all rights to Dante Residential would be theirs. I ask you my fellow student body, if the show is the problem, why yank his comic? My friend has worked on this comic for 3 years, and planned to make it syndicated, possibly having it in citywide papers. So where does a department at ASU get the rights to yank someone’s dreams right out of their hands based on assumptions and accusations that have no ground? They asked him if he would cut off all ties with Ramdiculous, to which he replied “I’ll see what I can do”. After this statement, they made no point about what the consequences would be if this action ceased to continue. My co-host, my friend, and a very talented artist was fired without warning of such an action, and now he not only has no place of employment, he has no rights to a comic that was his idea. Not only does he not have a comic, we no longer have a radio show. The real reason that my friend was fired was not because we “deviated” from a format. The pure and simple fact of the matter is, this is all about stifling the Ramdiculous page. The reason I say this is because if “we” were deviating from format, then why didn’t they fire me too? If the show deviated from format, why didn’t they get rid of the show, and let Bryce have his comic. That would have solved problems a lot better than firing him from a paying job and stealing his comic and ideas. I ask all of you to boycott the RamPage until this matter is solved in a more just way. -Keith Greer-May

DANTE RESIDENTIAL


Ram Rugby, the popular club sport on campus, recently returned from the State Tournament that was held in some city in Texas. The Rams entered the tournament as the #17 nationally in Division II and were prepared for a dogfight at every turn. To quote the affable Josh Wascom, whom I sat down and talked with, "We were ready for anything. We knew that things were going to be intense, intense, intense, intense. Just like any other match." In the semi-final round, the Rams encountered University of Dallas (mascot unknown and not really cared about). The mighty Rams had a marked advantage in the overall size department and were able to use it to their advantage against the quick, but munchkin-esque team from UD. The Rams ended up rolling over the Dallas bunch by a score of 47-23. The battle was fairly one-sided, as the score would indicate, but the team was disappointed overall in the way they played. The

coaching staff was rumored to have "ripped them a new one" at the end of the game and the team vowed to play better in the finals; they would have to as their opponent was Texas State. Texas State was probably the toughest and best match the Rams came up against all year long. They were stacked with a size advantage, but slower than a snail crawling uphill through molasses. The Rams decided to use the obvious and only weakness against their opponent when in the eleventh minute, Shane Bryant broke for a 70 meter try. This would help the Rams to an early lead and a halftime lead of 12-5. The second half was where the match got interesting, or so I am told. Texas State scored from outside the 22 meter with less than four minutes remaining which put them up 15-12. The next possession for the Rams was to be make it or break it, either go home crying to your momma or out to the bar and drink ‘til you puke. After three

u nsu cc es sf u l attempts to move the ball past the 5 meter, the Rams scrum half (name unknown but he knows who he is) obtained the ball and hurdled himself over the entire ruck to score what would become the winning try. Ram Rugby held on for the win, 17-15. Notable scorers for the Rams throughout the weekend, as quoted to the Ramdiculous Page by Josh Wascom, were Josh Collins, Josh Wascom, Shane Bryant, Kieran O'Callaghan, and Brian Kujawski. The Rams head to Greeley, Colorado April 8-9 for Westerns (presumably like regionals or perhaps they are just going to watch old John Wayne movies). The team is preparing well for this and hope to win out in order to advance to Elite Eight. The Rams will however be down one man as starter Chad Farr broke his collar bone. --Randy Times


A

Ramdiculous Page

A NGELO STATE' S FINEST P APER SINCE FALL 2006

Dante Residential

To Bring *REAL* News to ASU

Movies That We Want To See

Ramdiculous Staff

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