Our View: Editorial
Homestead creates new club for the non-diverse
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By Mike McCann
Many students at Homestead reap the benefits of joining an after school club, but unfortunately not everyone fits the criteria set by “A Taste of Judaism” and “The Asian Culture Club.” Luckily, there now is another option for Homestead’s less “exotic” crowd. The League of Rambunctious Conservative Christian Gentleman, or the LRCCG, is the newest organization to grace Homestead’s walls and has already started making waves. “Essentially, we’re a country club, within a nightclub, within a classroom,” said Borja Morales, executive chair of recruiting. Despite being invite-only and rumors of extreme and rather shady initiation practices, the club managed to pull in 10-percent of Homestead’s local male population within its first two weeks. However, only just over half of those remained after going through what has been dubbed, “hell week.” Connor McCormick, sophomore was forced to hold a tee between his teeth and was told he couldn’t leave until a hole in one was made or until he didn’t have enough teeth to do the job. “Kid didn’t have what it takes,” said Morales, adjusting his don.
Another student, Brenton Klimkosky, senior had to hot glue RayBans to his head and ingest nothing but stale saltines and severely aged milk for sustenance. “That was just too far for my taste,” Klimkosky said, and that’s really saying something. The club’s mission statement reads “To promote the heritage and lifestyle of the All-American man,” which must translate into playing fantasy baseball and comparing girls and your father’s net worths. Needless to say, the new organization has stirred up some controversy and has already warranted some complaints. One student, who wished to remain anonymous, admitted to being shut down “pretty hard” by the club. “I asked one of the members if I could join, but he just snatched my Arnold Palmer, shotgunned it, then called me a NARP,” (non affiliated regular person). Members of the club denied such allegations, stating “the peasants will always try to bring you down.” Senior overseer Jack Wegmann added these inviting words, “If you have an affinity for high-stake cockfighting, getting rowdy and rocking boat shoes on dry land, this club is where you want to be.” Love them or hate them, these gentlemen are your future bosses.
Homestead High School 5000 W. Mequon Road Mequon, Wisconsin 53092 The Highlander’s editorial policy is to present facts and opinions in a fair and honest manner on issues pertaining to students at Homestead. We uphold the right to speak unpopular opinions and the privilege to agree with the majority. Letters to The Highlander are encouraged; however, we reserve the right to edit for length and grammatical errors. In addition, letters must be signed, but names will be withheld upon request. Any student who wishes to express his opinion through The Highlander should drop off the letter in room 506.
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