Page 3

Student Opinion

Our View: Editorial

Homestead creates new club for the non-diverse

3

Photo Contest Where’s your favorite place to read The Highlander?

By Mike McCann

Many students at Homestead reap the benefits of joining an after school club, but unfortunately not everyone fits the criteria set by “A Taste of Judaism” and “The Asian Culture Club.” Luckily, there now is another option for Homestead’s less “exotic” crowd. The League of Rambunctious Conservative Christian Gentleman, or the LRCCG, is the newest organization to grace Homestead’s walls and has already started making waves. “Essentially, we’re a country club, within a nightclub, within a classroom,” said Borja Morales, executive chair of recruiting. Despite being invite-only and rumors of extreme and rather shady initiation practices, the club managed to pull in 10-percent of Homestead’s local male population within its first two weeks. However, only just over half of those remained after going through what has been dubbed, “hell week.” Connor McCormick, sophomore was forced to hold a tee between his teeth and was told he couldn’t leave until a hole in one was made or until he didn’t have enough teeth to do the job. “Kid didn’t have what it takes,” said Morales, adjusting his don.

Another student, Brenton Klimkosky, senior had to hot glue RayBans to his head and ingest nothing but stale saltines and severely aged milk for sustenance. “That was just too far for my taste,” Klimkosky said, and that’s really saying something. The club’s mission statement reads “To promote the heritage and lifestyle of the All-American man,” which must translate into playing fantasy baseball and comparing girls and your father’s net worths. Needless to say, the new organization has stirred up some controversy and has already warranted some complaints. One student, who wished to remain anonymous, admitted to being shut down “pretty hard” by the club. “I asked one of the members if I could join, but he just snatched my Arnold Palmer, shotgunned it, then called me a NARP,” (non affiliated regular person). Members of the club denied such allegations, stating “the peasants will always try to bring you down.” Senior overseer Jack Wegmann added these inviting words, “If you have an affinity for high-stake cockfighting, getting rowdy and rocking boat shoes on dry land, this club is where you want to be.” Love them or hate them, these gentlemen are your future bosses.

Homestead High School 5000 W. Mequon Road Mequon, Wisconsin 53092 The Highlander’s editorial policy is to present facts and opinions in a fair and honest manner on issues pertaining to students at Homestead. We uphold the right to speak unpopular opinions and the privilege to agree with the majority. Letters to The Highlander are encouraged; however, we reserve the right to edit for length and grammatical errors. In addition, letters must be signed, but names will be withheld upon request. Any student who wishes to express his opinion through The Highlander should drop off the letter in room 506.

Second Place, $25 Bayshore gift card (top): Wille Gross, freshman, casually

checks out The Highlander while hiking in Arches National Park.

Third Place, $25 Bayshore gift card First Place, $50 Bayshore gift card (top): Principal (bottom): Chase Gabriel, junior, Tucker

Alli Rudich and Head Caretaker Nikki Robson read Gabriel, freshman, Lief Erlandson, freshThe Highlander at Donges Bay Elementary School. man and Charlie Robbins, sophomore, enjoy The Highlander while kayaking on Santa Rosa Beach.

The Staff Adviser Editor-in-Chief Copyeditors Layout and Design Editors Reporters and Photographers

Mrs. Rachel Rauch Katie Bandurski Maddie Fricker, Emma Wade Katie Bandurski, Janae Brown, Sarah Erpenbeck, Molly Riebau Kelly Allen, Sydney Benson, Madeline Boulier, Janae Brown, Kate Daniels, Beth Emery, Brittany Emond, Sarah Erpenbeck, Nia Feaster, Maddie Fricker, Gaby Geiger, Aaron Glazer, John Happ, Carly Kleiman, Blake Leeson, Nicole Martin, Rachel Novak, Molly Riebau, Katie Starsky, Allie Stendler, Alex Talyansky, Emma Wade

2014 NSPA Best of Show 2013 All-KEMPA Award 2013 NSPA Best of Show 2013 WNA Second Award in Overall Excellence 2012 WNA First Award in Overall Excellence 2012 KEMPA First Place Award Visit us online for back issues of The Highlander at https://sites.google. com/a/mtsd.k12.wi.us/homesteadpublications/

American Litho Printing 530 N. 22nd Street Milwaukee WI 53233 (414)-342-5050

May 2, 2014 Artichoke  

Satirical Issue of Homestead High School, Mequon, Wisconsin

May 2, 2014 Artichoke  

Satirical Issue of Homestead High School, Mequon, Wisconsin

Advertisement