Page 1

CHANNEL ONE Volume 18, Issue 2

July 2018

REGION 1 - STARFLEET, INTERNATIONAL

R1 Regional Coordinator Election Greetings STARFLEET, I am pleased to announce that in the matter of the Region 1 Election Admiral Ruth Lane, of the USS Liberator, has received the majority of the votes cast. She will continue to serve as Coordinator for Region 1 and the Liberator will continue as the regional flagship. Thank you Admiral Lane for your continued service to the Fleet. ADM Daniel Toole Commander, STARFLEET

Two other commanding officers threw their hats into the ring as well. These gentlemen were Brigadier General Jonathan Wilson, of the USS North Carolina, and Major General Steven Parmley of the USS Constellation, It was exciting to see how many chapters participated, a total of 37 out of 46 voted! Well done, Region 1!

Inside this issue:

Special points of interest:

Region 1 Staff Listing

2

Star Wars Collection - USS Heimdal

Ships & Station Anniversaries

3

Neutrinos, Captain!

Treasury Report

6

USS Yorktown - How it Came to Be

R1 Program Operations

7

Blast from the Past - SFI Archives

Building a Better Newsletter

10

Foubar vs the Dust Bunnies

R1 Summit & Awards

16

STARFLEET Postcard X-Change

26


CHANNEL ONE

Page 2

STARFLEET REGION 1 - HEADQUARTERS STAFF R/1 Regional Coordinator/Promotions ADM Ruth Lane 2951 Pitt Road Akron, OH 44312

Regional Division Chiefs

Senior VRC - Chapter Operations ADM Darlene Harper 4456 Collingdale Road Columbus, OH 43231

Communications COMM John Hoppa

VRC - Program Operations RADM Scott Gibson P.O. Box 5207 High Point, NC 27262 Space Camp Coordinator ADM Darlene Harper 4456 Collingdale Road Columbus, OH 43231 Director - Shuttles Operations ADM Roger Scritchfield 500 17th Street, NW Barberton, OH 44203 Regional Awards Program RADM Pamela Michaud 7026 Julia Street Columbia, SC 29209 LGEN Dennis Rayburn, Deputy Awards Director R1 Historian ADM Warren Price 315 Highway 220 Cedar Grove, TN 38321 Treasurer RADM Barry Jackson, Senior Treasurer 6723 Market Street Ext Washington, NC 27889 COMM T.J. Allen, Co-Treasurer Publication Officer CMDR Oliver Kling Retention & Recruiting Open Relief Fund Coordinator ADM Warren Price

RDC Program Director COMM Ron Novak

Computer Operations CAPT Kevin Plummer Costuming FCAPT Alan Provo Counselors RADM Barbara Lariscy Engineering ADM Jason Schreck Fitness Open Health Sciences and Medical CMDR Oliver Kling Logos and Graphics Open Operations COMM Scott Osborne Paranormal Sciences COMM Jill Tipton Sciences ADM Richard Heim Security LGEN Larry Neigut Star Crafters COM Janice Graham Chapter Care Panel ADM Cindy Krell 563 Hillman St Warrenville, SC 29851-3205 RADM Barbara Lariscy PO Box 6792 Augusta, GA 30916 RADM Pamela Michaud PO Box 10016 Columbia, SC 29207


Page 3

VOLUME 18, ISSUE 2

Ships & Stations Anniversaries These fine ships and stations have recently celebrated their commissioning anniversaries. Congratulations and may you have many more years in service! March

USS Potomac - 6 years

USS Liberator - 15 years

USS Gorkon - 1 year

USS Tycho - 23 years

USS Arizona - 25 years

USS Star League - 27 years

April

USS Heimdal - 33 years

May

USS Liberty - 3 years

Station Robert de Bruce - 6 years

USS Reprisal - 8 years

USS Indiana - 14 years

USS North Carolina - 15 years


CHANNEL ONE

Page 4

Star Wars Collector Speaks at Heimdal Meeting ADM Linda Smith, Commanding Officer - USS Yorktown

USS Heimdal member, Daryl Gooch, wears many hats, not the least of which is “collector.” He has an extensive Star Wars collection & was featured in a segment of the local WSET TV News being interviewed about his G.I. Joe collection, which is the largest of its kind on the east coast. Daryl graciously agreed to speak during the March Heimdal meeting about his Star Wars collection. He also brought several cases of small Star Wars figures to show to those who came. The cases in which he stores many of his figures were just as interesting to most as the figures themselves. His presentation was conversational and he answered questions throughout. Not only did Daryl show those at the meeting numerous Star Wars figures, he gave a background on each figure; the year each was presented, the year & movie the figure was from & interesting information about each specific figure & costume. Daryl’s knowledge of his subject was amazing & equally as extensive as his collection.


VOLUME 18, ISSUE 2

Page 5

USS Heimdal, contd.

Daryl has been collecting Star Wars memorabilia since he was 5 years old & was given the ‘now collectibles’ as toys as a child. As he grew older his love of Star Wars became a hobby & he became a collector. Eventually it became necessary for him to purchase a small shed to house his Star Wars, GI Joe & Star Trek collectibles because he no longer had space in his room.

Asked by a Heimdal member what would happen if he sold his Star Wars collection, Daryl answered without hesitation, “I could retire …”


CHANNEL ONE

Page 6

Treasury Report RADM Barry Jackson, Senior Treasurer

General Fund

Starting General Fund

$614.66

Total R1 Expenses

$214.66

R1 Awards

$400.00

Check - RADM Michaud for Award Expenses

Space Camp

$39.74

Total Awards Fund

$360.26

Total Ending General Fund

$574.92

Balance from 2017

$1,255.00

Check - Space Camp Enrollment

$1,200.00

Check - Deposit from USS Heimdal Total Space Camp Fund

Relief Fund

$50.00 $105.00

$1,108.00 Check - Eviction Notice

$500.00

Total Relief Fund

$608.00

Grand Account Total

$1,287.92


VOLUME 18, ISSUE 2

Page 7

Region 1 Awards Program by RADM Scott Gibson, VRC - Program Operations

Hello everyone! I wanted to take a bit of time to remind all of our CO’s/XO’s and Region One Staff members that if you want to recognize a member of your crew or department, or an entire chapter or group, please remember that the Region One Awards Program stands ready to help you mark the significant contributions and accomplishments made by these outstanding members. The Regional Awards Program has a plethora of awards and citations available to recognize chapters, departments and, of course, individuals at every level within Region One! There are awards that mark the levels of involvement of members and chapters in Regional and local activities, lengths of service, and significant accomplishments in fandom or the community. The list of awards is far too long for me to give here, but suffice it to say, there’s something there that could apply to many within Region One. The Awards Program is divided into the Annual and the Non-Annual awards. Non Annual Awards recognize individuals and units for specific contributions, accomplishments or achievements (fandom, academic or civic) that distinguish them from others in the region at any given time. These can be nominated and awarded throughout the calendar year and there are no limits to the number that can be awarded during that time. These are great ways to let the rest of the region know what caliber of member or units that you have under your Command! After all: as COs, XOs and Staff Members, there are only a certain number of times where you can promote someone! This way, folks can shine whenever they stand out from the crowd!

Annual Awards, of course, are given once a year at the Region One Summit and mark major group or individual accomplishments for that time period. Awards such as “Chapter of the Year” or “Commanding Officer of the Year” recognize the commitment, service and diligence of groups and individuals during a single year. These folks made names for themselves in a big way during the year, and that deserves some time in the spotlight! As most of you no doubt know, a fair amount of awards are made every year. But, the program itself is extremely under-utilized. I’d like to ask everyone in the chain of command, at every level, to take a moment and visit the Region One Website (http://www.regionone.net/R1/) and go to the Documents tab. Take a look at the R1 Awards Handbook. This will describe all of our awards (Annual and Non), what the qualifications are for them and who can nominate folks. For additional information, you can visit the Awards Website (https://sites.google.com/site/sfir1awards/), this has exceptional graphics and also details the Ribbons award winners can obtain from the Awards Director to wear on their uniforms (speaking from my experience, these are quite snazzy and look great on your uniform during dress functions and ceremonies). When you want to nominate a group or individual, there is a submission link for the Region One Awards on the Awards Website (http://r1awardforms.webs.com/). Please check it out as well. If you have any questions, contact the Awards Program Director, Rear Admiral Pam Michaud t SFIR1Awards@yahoo.com. She would be happy to help you. So, do you have someone that deserves a bit of recognition?


Page 8

CHANNEL ONE

Neutrinos Captain! LT Aaron Brite, USS Charon

Star Trek sensors relied on a number of fictional and real cosmological signals to navigate, investigate, and get into mischief. Of these, neutrinos, give the crew of the Enterprise-D and today’s physicists views into the heart of stars, fission reactors, and soon fusion reactors. However, today’s tools are devices up to 1km cubed, deep underground or water, which produce the weakest of signals. That’s a single senor about the size of a Borg cube. Impractical is an understatement as a result of the nature of neutrinos.

Dr. Juan Collar, professor of physics at the University of Chicago

Neutrinos are nearly massless neutral elementary particles, far smaller than electrons that result from the conversion of energy into matter during nuclear reactions who react with normal matter only very weakly. They are neutral in that they do not carry a charge, like a magnet, so they are not repelled or attracted by electrons and protons. Neutrinos take neutrality one step further in that they are not attracted by or repelled by the forces (Strong and Weak nuclear forces) found inside of atoms very well. This is like Odo walking the promenade by Ferengi and Jem Hadar without being noticed. This property allows them to pass through all matter without slowing down. Only if they come very close to or hit an atom’s nucleus are they seen as they transfer kinetic energy to their target as they bounce off. This makes them very difficult to detect for study, much less for practical applications. That is until Dr. Juan Collar of the University of Chicago was able to develop a device that takes advantage of slower moving neutrino’s interaction with mid-size heavy nuclei via a quantummechanical wave duality mechanism. Complicated way of saying the device looks for weak photon packets (~10 photons) released when a slower neutrino’s wave function interacts with an entire nucleus’s wave function causing a small, but detectable release of coherent light. This is akin to shaking an iron bell by waving a magnet past it. It makes barely a sound, but a sound it a makes. Current devices instead use fast neutrinos slamming into a neutron or proton to release a bright flash, like ringing a small bell with a BB gun. The advantage here is that the slower neutrinos see a much larger target and much more frequently which leads to both more neutrinos detected and the ability to use a smaller detector. The scale difference in detectors is immense. Kamiokande and Super Kamiokande are two detectors used to make breakthroughs in understanding neutrinos using 1,000 metric tons of pure water and 50,000 metric tons respectively as targets for neutrinos. Dr. Collar’s detector, in contrast, uses less than a kilogram of a transparent crystal in a device the size of a fire extinguisher. While still early in the development of Dr. Collar’s device and the use of coherent elastic neutrino nucleus scattering to study neutrinos, the single leap forward it represents is an exponential leap in our ability to study and perhaps use neutrinos in the near future. Source: Dunietz, Jesse, (August 3, 2017). Ever-Elusive Neutrinos Spotted Bouncing Off Nuclei for the First Time. Scientific American. Retrieved from: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/ever-elusive-neutrinos-spotted-bouncingoff-nuclei-for-the-first-time/?WT.mc_id=SA_WR_20170809


VOLUME 18, ISSUE 2

Page 9

How the USS Yorktown Came to Be VADM Kimberly Donohoe, Commanding Officer - USS Yorktown

It seems as I’ve gotten older that time is going by a lot faster. When I dug through boxes and my memories to write this article, I couldn’t believe that it has been 31 years since I attended my first local SFI meeting, held in the Bays Mountain Nature Center. It wasn’t until 1993 that we joined SFI, assigned to the USS Intrepid NCC-73501. Years passed, things changed, and my no longer small children and I found ourselves in Region 2 and helping my new husband found the USS Dauntless NCC-74214, which eventually moved to Region 8. There was a lot going on in our lives and Tom and I were content to sit back and follow the lead of our new commanding officer, then RADM Owen Swart, who’s been in the center seat for over 10 years now. We’re always having company at our house, all ages, and I drag out the board games, order takeout or fire up the grill, and we play until the wee small hours. For the 50th anniversary of Trek, best selling author Greg Cox wrote the first book in a series of three, Legacies: Book 1: Captain to Captain (Star Trek: The Original Series). I’m a big fan of his work, and I ended up reading them all. AND wistfully thinking about being a commanding officer of a ship in that era. It doesn’t count that I was the CO of our neighbor’s Winnebago when he’d let us kids play in it. I was the oldest so naturally I had the big chair. Plus, it didn’t hurt that I made our communicators and patches. Last autumn, a group of us went to the special anniversary viewing of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn. On the way home, I was fondly reminiscing with the others about what it was like being in a local SFI group back in the day, how much fun it was. Will said, “We do most all of that now, have our own rules and stuff, so why not make it official? In the past, we’d report to the Dauntless as a runabout, but the more I thought about it, the more I warmed to it. We spent the remainder of the trip home tossing about ideas, and one thing we all agreed on, TOS all the way! The next day I spoke with Owen, who gave his blessing, and we were off and running. For the most part, the process went smoothly and 5 months after that fateful night with Khan, the USS Yorktown NCC-1704 was commissioned. We’re a laid-back bunch and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m quite proud of our crew, with an age span of 6 to 96, and we look forward to many more years of fun, friendship, and community service!


CHANNEL ONE

Page 10

Building a Better Newsletter RADM John Hoppa, RDC - Communications

Greetings everyone, I’m RADM John Hoppa, and I’m the RDC of Communications. This is the first in a series of articles to help new chapters and existing chapters with your printed/PDF newsletter. These tips are taken directly from the Starfleet Academy Communications COC-201 Newsletter Course. If you missed my panel at the R1 Summit this past May I will break it down for you what it takes to make a better newsletter and possibly an Annual Award winner as well. To start off with, you should design your newsletter in a format that can be sent through email or sent through regular mail if needed. The best format is usually a PDF or some kind of “word” document at the 8.5” X 11” size. It is better for any graphics and pictures. And you have more room on each page. The digest format is half the size folded in the middle and is better to mail because it saves on paper and postage. When thinking about how the layout should be, imagine a grid across the page, some programs allow you to put a grid over the page to keep columns aligned as well as to help center pictures and graphics. Font size is important. You don’t want it to be too small for readers who receive a printed copy. Keep the font consistent throughout the body except for article headlines. There are Star Trek fonts that you can use for the headlines. Graphics are an essential part of the newsletter. Pictures, clipart and pull quotes can be inserted. A pull quotes is a brief, attention-catching quotation, typically in a larger typeface, taken from the article to highlight its importance. Pictures help the reader visualize what they are reading.

STARFLEET

Don’t worry about filling up every space of the newsletter. The unused space is known as “white space.” You don’t want your pages to look like like legal documents and if you use a small font it can cause eyestrain for the reader.


VOLUME 18, ISSUE 2

Page 11

Building a Better Newsletter, contd.

Here are some must haves for your newsletter.

Chapter Name and logo - Make sure the reader knows the title of your publication and well as what chapter it is from. If they are part of the newsletter exchange and receive 5 or so newsletters they will want to know whose newsletter they are reading.

Date of publication - important to make sure it’s a recent or past issue.

Table of contents - most newspapers and magazines have some form of table of contents so the reader can quickly find what they are looking for or see if it is in the issue.

Contact list - the reader may be looking for information to submit an article or contact a member of the staff both in the chapter or regionally as well as Fleet-wide. Make sure to post important email addresses or mailing address if the members allowed.

Reports for the CO or senior staff. It’s always good to know what is going on the chapter especially for the CO themselves. Departmental reports are good for those that are active heavily in their departments.

Chapter news and feature articles-Why join a Star Trek club if no one talks about Trek! These articles are important to the reader and are essential to any newsletter.

Regional News-It is important to keep the crew up to date on any news in the Fleet and/or Region.

Upcoming events/Calendar-Keep the crew informed on specific dates of the events and outing that the chapter will partake in. No one wants to be left out.

These are some of my tips to help you build a better newsletter. I will be back with some more information on how to personalize your newsletter and some pointers on article writing. I hope I have helped those who need help and if you have any question feel free to email me at r1rdccomm@yahoo.com.


CHANNEL ONE

Page 12

Blast from the Past - R1 Visual Archives A big thanks to Linda Smith and Jill Rayburn for stepping up and sending in pics from their collections!

Cadet, Matthew Brooks, Cadet, & Morgan Kirby USS Intrepid NCC-73501 (Decommissioned) Kingsport Fun Fest Parade 1993

Kimberly Donohoe - Intrepid NCC-73501 (decommissioned) Recruiting Event - Books-a-Million 1993

Judith Durall,- USS Aries, Kimberly Donohoe - USS Normandy (decommissioned), and Michael Wilson - USS Aries Kingsport Fun Fest Parade 2001


VOLUME 18, ISSUE 2

Page 13

Blast from the Past - R1 Visual Archives, contd.

Jill & Dennis Rayburn and Donald Horn - SS Nikola Tesla Dr. Who Night - Barnes & Noble 2016

Jill Rayburn Vegas Star Trek Con 2008

Dennis Rayburn Vegas Star Trek Con 2008


Page 14

CHANNEL ONE

Blast from the Past - R1 Visual Archives, contd.

Ben Redding - SS Bennu, Linda & Sal Lizard - USS Hood R15, and Lisa Pruitt, USS Lone Star R3 Region 1 Summit 2008

Dennis Henderson, Lem Campbell, Linda Smith & Kenny Proehl - USS Heimdal Movie Night - 1984

Jason Schreck - USS Columbia, Don Horn, Jill & Dennis Rayburn - SS Nikola Tesla & Bryan Detamore - USS Gorkon


Page 15

VOLUME 18, ISSUE 2

Blast from the Past - R1 Visual Archives, contd.

USS Heimdal Crew 10th Anniversary Celebration 1994

Hello Suzanne! USS Heimdal Crew Group Shot 1995

Willy & Linda Smith USS Heimdal Halloween Party 1988


Page 16

CHANNEL ONE

Region 1 Summit 2018 RADM Pam Michaud, Regional Awards Program

May 18-20, 2018 saw Region One holding their annual summit. The theme of this year’s summit was “The Pirates of Pigeon Forge II”. The summit officially opened at 8:30 in the evening. The video contest entries were shown shortly thereafter. Events at the summit included panels given on various subjects such as Star Trek Discovery, Region One RDC Program Overview, Region One Sciences, Region One Communications, Colonial Ministry of Defense, The Mothman of Point Pleasant and Missing 411: Disappearances from U.S. and Canadian National Parks. A Star Trek Trivia was held as well. There were duck races on the lazy river as well as a scavenger hunt. A tug of war was held between the pirates and HMS members. Alas, HMS members were outgunned. Though the HMS members put up a valiant fight the pirates prevailed in this battle. The Region One Auction was to benefit our Space Camp Scholarship and Region One Relief Fund. A dance contest a la Guardians of the Galaxy, was held Saturday evening and was won by Cadet Crewman Valerie Bazemore of the USS Indiana. Trek Trivia 1st Nathan Mclellan – USS Drakonia 2nd Stephen Stott – USS Ronald E McNair 3rd Richard Heim – USS Alaric

Scavenger Hunt 1st Team USS Ronald E McNair 2nd Team USS Heimdal

1st Duck Race Open Robin Hudson – USS Heimdal Grand Prize was a rubber duck named Mr. Squawk

2nd Duck Race All Star 1st Kenny Proehl – USS Heimdal 2nd Stephen Stott – USS Ronald E. McNair 3rd Chris Thompson – USS Heimdal

Costume Contest Best Sci-fi pirate “Klingon” Kent Hawkins - USS Renegade Best Traditional Pirate : “Captain Jack Sparrow” – Judith Durall – USS Aries Video Contest Best Short Film – Expandables III – USS Reprisal Best Video Editing – Carnell Eubanks – USS Star League Best Actor – “Khan’s Insanity Workout”- Bob Sandarg – USS Star League Best Recruiting Video – USS Reprisal Best Commercial – “Khan’s Insanity Workout”- USS Star League Best Music Video – “Take it Easy - USS Reprisal

Region One 2017 Annual Awards Chapter of the Year – USS Ronald E McNair Chapter of Excellence (2nd runner up) - USS Heimdal Class of Excellence (CO of the Year ) - MGEN Steven Parmley USS Constellation Flag Offer of the Year - VADM Margaret Grunwell - USS Appomattox Officer of the Year – LCDR Brett Witcher - USS Heimdal Enlisted of the Year – PO3 Beth Hopkins - USS Heimdal Cadet of the Year – CDT 3 C Allen Hatter - USS Heimdal Edith Keeler – CMDR Michael Mann - USS Star League R1 RDC of the Year – RADM John Hoppa - RDC Communications R1 Staff Member of the Year – ADM Jason Schreck Department of the Year (chapter) – Medical - USS Ronald E. McNair


Page 17

VOLUME 18, ISSUE 2

Region 1 Summit 2018, contd. Best Chapter Handbook - USS Yorktown Best Overall Newsletter – The Yorktown Courant - USS Yorktown Best Monthly Newsletter – Lcars Network - USS Tycho Best Bi- Monthly Newsletter – The Yorktown Courant - USS Yorktown Best Quarterly Newsletter – The Comlink - USS Columbia Best Chapter Website – USS Columbus http://usscolumbus1.blogspot.com/ Honorable Mention – USS Renegade https://ussrenegade.wordpress.com Best Fanzines – Voyages - USS North Carolina

Region One Non-annual Awards Legion of Merit (20+ yrs service SFI Region 1) Curtis Bellman - USS Liberator Richard Heim - USS Alaric Ruth Lane - USS Liberator

Nanette Bellman - USS Liberator Barry Jackson - SS Robert de Bruce Michael Wilson - USS Liberator

Region One Commendation Steve Parmley - USS Constellation Susan Seay - USS Constellation Carolyn Irvin - USS Star League

Ron Seay - USS Constellation Carl Irvin - USS Star League Carnell Renew - USS Star League

Good Conduct 5+ yrs Jeff Angell - USS Indiana

Emilee Dockery - USS Indiana

Let Me Help Michael Lewis - USS Heimdal Phoenix Award Carl Irvin - USS Star League Tamara Smith - USS Star League

Lucille Skipper - USS Star League

Legion of Honor (Academic Achievement) Carol Hall - USS Jurassic Sara McClaren - USS Indiana

Andrew Long - USS Indiana

Daystrom Award (Academic Achievement) Cadet Crewman Connor Long - USS Indiana Final Frontier USS Heimdal SOL III USS Heimdal Haleigh Parmley - USS Constellation

Steve Parmley - USS Constellation


Page 18

CHANNEL ONE

Region 1 Summit 2018, contd. Photos courtesy of RADM Pam Michaud

Opening Ceremony

Judith Durall - USS Aries, Jana Sandarg - USS Star League, Jeanette Maddox, & Cindy Krell - USS Star League

Scott Osborne, Robert Chaffin, & Nathan McClellan USS Drakonia


Page 19

VOLUME 18, ISSUE 2

Region 1 Summit 2018, contd.

Summit Vice Chair TJ Allen, Summit Coordinator Wade Larkin, Summit Chair Carnell Eubanks

Mr. Squawk, the Grand Prize Duck Race - Open

Pam Michaud & Stephen Stott

USS Ronald McNair


Page 20

CHANNEL ONE

Foubar vs the Dust Bunnies SCPO Larry Kirby, USS Ronald E McNair

“I will kill him,” Master Chief Petty Officer Paul Blake said, fire in his eyes and the sound of planets

exploding in his voice. “I will rip his head off and stuff tribbles down his neck!” He missed the slight shudder from Klingon Ambassador Kapac. “I will stuff anti-matter up his arse and let the Good Doctor give him a colonoscopy…by remote…with a fire hose…” “Ooof’ said the Doctor Munib, grinning. “What has Foubar done now?” sighed Captain Michaud. “His mere presence on this plane of existence is an affront to everyone who has ever worn a uniform,” the Chief stated, visibly trying to control his temper.

“That does not seem logical,” First Officer Stott replied... The Vulcan had never gotten used to the Chief’s hyperbole. “Sir,” Blake replied, “somewhere the bones of a Phoenician sailor are spinning in his watery grave at the mere notion that someone such as Foubar exists.” The Captain had ordered Blake to attend the morning staff meeting to explain why the transfer of the residual Genesis planet material recently collected and bound for the Vulcan Science Academy had caused a hazmat alert in the transporter room. The gray-haired CPO (who rumor had it once served under Christopher Pike on the original Enterprise) had reported that the hapless crewman had misprogramned the transporter co-ordinates (again!) and had reassembled the material’s container three millimeters into the deck, causing a rather violent explosion and violating the material’s containment field. “Unfortunately,” Blake returned to his report, “Foubar, as usual, came out of the fiasco without a scratch. The containment field ruptured, there was dust from the Genesis material everywhere. I think we got everything decontaminated.” He shook his head. “We irradiated the transporter room and shoved Foubar in a sonic wash. Instruments didn’t pick up anything, but…please, Captain, just a short EVA skyclad?” “Sorry, Chief”, the Captain replied, suppressing a smile with some effort. The Chief did not handle stupidity very well and Foubar’s stupidity was legendary throughout human space and in parts of the Romulan and Klingon empires. “His father is still a captain and his grandfather is still an admiral. Assign him to something nice and safe.” “Yes, Ma’am,” the Chief sighed. “I wish he were Klingon.” “How would that make a difference?” the Vulcan asked. “We would have killed him long ago,” the Klingon Ambassador muttered. Blake grinned and nodded at the Klingon.

“There is something to be said for being allowed to pound some sense into certain people,” the Chief said, looking at the Captain hopefully, who shook her head, not without some reluctance. “Alright,” the Chief muttered. “I guess I can assign him to count the dust bunnies in cargo hold


VOLUME 18, ISSUE 2

Page 21

Foubar vs the Dust Bunnies, contd.

three. We haven’t had anything there in several months. Even Foubar shouldn’t be able to mess up an empty cargo hold.”

“Don’t bet on it,” the Klingon replied. Horatio Nelson Foubar IV was not a happy camper. The Chief, who blamed him for everything that had gone wrong all the way back to the Romulan War, had assigned him to research the effect of warp drive movement on dust bunnies. With a straight face, the Chief had informed him that even a nanoscopic shift in internal ship’s mass could be dangerous during emergency maneuvers at high warp unless said movements could be calculated by the ship’s computer. Foubar’s assignment was to choose several respectable sized collections of dust and record their movements over a ten-hour period. He had started to protest but had not wanted to incur the wrath of Blake, which he considered far worse that any wrath Kahn had ever managed to come up with. Selecting a suitable ball of dust, Foubar kneeled to take his first readings. Dust particles in the air made his eyes water. He felt a sneeze coming on...He tried to stifle it, but failed, the force of the sneeze knocking him backwards to the floor. A microscopic particle of the late, unlamented Genesis planet, lodged in the nose of the crewman, exploded outward with the force of the sneeze, squarely impacting the dust bunny. Processes much to small to be seen went into motion. Needing more material to work with, the dust ball rolled slowly around the room, merging with other balls and being dutifully recorded by the crewman until his shift was over. It took another twenty hours before the first signs of life were detectable. The Klingon Ambassador was returning from a fine workout in the holosuite where he had used his favorite bat’leth to dismember the simulations of five Romulans, three Orions, an earth grizzly bear and his mother-in-law, the last of whom, he had to admit, had put up quite a fight. He was due in Chief Blake’s quarters in 30 minutes where, for the 7th time, he and the Chief were planning on watching “The Alamo,” a film of an old Earth battle where the badly outnumbered defenders had died fighting to the last man. Very Klingonish. “Intruder alert!” the voice of Security Chief Nickerson came over the intercom. “Intruder alert! Cargo Bay Three! Security to cargo bay three!” Realizing he was on the same level as the Cargo Bay, the Klingon set off at a dead run, swinging the bat’leth to a right shoulder stance. The Ambassador was almost at the cargo bay door when it blew outward and the strangest thing he ever saw came boiling out of the bay. Dirty brown, eight feet tall, with long fangs and talons, glowing red eyes, huge back feet…and floppy ears? The creature roared at him and charged. The Klingon did a forward roll under slashing paws, then leapt into the air and went for a beheading slash as the monster spun around. The blade sliced the thing’s neck with ease, but the detached head promptly rejoined the body. A huge paw swiped at the Klingon, catching him a glancing blow as he back rolled away to regroup. Three shallow slashes ruined the gi his father had given him right before his current assignment.


Page 22

CHANNEL ONE

Foubar vs the Dust Bunnies, contd.

He became perturbed. He began a fighting retreat down the corridor as the monster continued to attack. Repeatedly he disarmed (and dispawed) the creature with his blade, only to see them instantaneously reattach. It seemed hopeless. He grinned ferociously. Just the type of fight he liked. Nickerson came stampeding down the corridor behind him with a full complement of security personnel. Barked orders set up a double staggered skirmish line and the fire order was given. The smell of burning…dust?..filled the air but the thing keeps coming, albeit somewhat slower. “What the hell is that?” Nickerson shouted over the whine of phasers. A couple of well aimed shots put out the creature’s eyes, but they began glowing again almost immediately. “It looks like Bun-Bun on a bender!” “Now THAT’S new,” the Science Officer Rust said calmly, having come up behind the group. She aimed a scanner at the creature. “It seems to be made up of dust.” She studied a readout. “There is a miniscule particle of the Genesis planet imbedded within the creature.” “Well, that’s just ducky,” Nickerson retorted, then shouted out a fire and fall back by line order. “How do we kill it?” “Perhaps we could communicate with it,” the Science Officer responded doubtfully. “This would be a great scientific opportunity.” “’Communicate with it?’” the Klingon retorted. “Let’s kill it then talk about it behind its back.” Foubar had not gotten into trouble for almost a full day now and was beginning to feel a little cocky. Then he heard the Intruder Alert call for Cargo Bay Three.

“Great” he groaned to himself. “I bet the Chief will figure out some way to blame that on me.” His duty station for an Intruder Alert was the engine room so he ran for the door to his room, not realizing the sensor had tripped out when he had sent a power surge through his room’s circuitry while playing with his electronic dinosaurs. He slammed into the unresponsive door and knocked himself unconscious. His temporary serenity was gone. “Status!” The Captain demanded over her communicator. She had been monitoring the slowly retreating crewmembers battling the…whatever it was…over the ship’s internal sensors and was not thrilled with what she was seeing. Though there were no reported casualties or ship damage yet, the creature was forcing its tormentors back towards the hydroponic gardens where dozens of irreplaceable exotic plants were housed, including a bonsai tree Admiral Sulu had given her when she had assumed her first command.

“Things have been better,” Nickerson replied. “We have hit this thing with everything but a bucket of spit and nothing has had any effect.” “Captain,” the Science Officer interjected. “There is another problem.”


VOLUME 18, ISSUE 2

Page 23

Foubar vs the Dust Bunnies, contd.

“Besides the monster trying to eat my crew?” the Captain grimaced. “Affirmative,” the Science Officer replied. “This thing has apparently been brought to life by a minute particle of the Genesis planet.” “Captain,” First Officer Stott stated, from his position at her side. “You will recall the ultimate fate of the planet.” “Lovely,” the Captain muttered to herself. “Ideas, people, I need ideas.” She wanted to go down there and see the situation for herself, but her place was on the bridge. She was no James T. Kirk, she trusted her crew. “Ideas, people, I need ideas.” The Science Officer heard the Captain as she thought furiously. “We have to get the thing off the ship,’ she muttered to herself. She retreated another few steps as the phaser grunts kept up a furious fire and fall back barrage against the thing. “out of the ship, out of the ship, out of the…” Brainstorm! She pulled up a ship schematic on her ‘corder. “Oh, this is nuts,” she thought. “Completely nuts.” She slapped at her com badge. “Blake!” she yelled for the Chief. “Yeah,” came the reply. The Chief was not always a modal of military courtesy. “Can you MacGyver us up something that will kill the inertial dampening field on a ten-foot square section of the ship’s interior?” A split second of silence. She could almost hear the wheels turning. ‘What in the name of General Hampton,” the Chief thought to himself. “Uh, yeah,” he replied thoughtfully. “I guess I could bastardize a medical stasis field, trigger it remotely…but ma’am if I did that and the ship changed course even slightly anything in the affected area would shoot through the ship’s hull like sh…” he stopped. He thought. Then he grinned. “Lee!” He yelled at his most reliable greenstick mechanic. The blond woman looked up from her screen. “Grab your purse and meet me in medical!” The Chief took off on a dead run, Lee, pausing only to grab her favorite tool pouch, right behind him. “Our Science Officer has lost her mind,” the Captain stated, quite reasonably, she thought. She was studying a schematic of the ship on the main screen, the firefight, thankfully near the top of the ship, indicated in red. “Navigator,” she said, “prepare to drop five klicks Galactic South on my command.” Punching the ship wide com button on her chair she ordered, “evacuate sections 23, 47 and 81. Damage control, prepare for hull breach upper aft over section 81.” “Gimme the magratch,” the Chief muttered; Lee had it in her hand before he had finished asking. A disemboweled bio stasis bed lay scattered around them. “Hey, Doc, you got any coffee?” “You don’t drink coffee, Chief,” the Doctor replied.


Page 24

CHANNEL ONE

Foubar vs the Dust Bunnies, contd.

“Oh, yeah, that’s right.” The Chief handed his assistant a sonic screwdriver. “Get the…good. Love working with mind readers”

“Light reading” Lee grinned, ignoring the dark look from the Chief. The Doctor sighed. Different people relieved stress in different ways. A crewman had been slashed by the monster. Blood seeped from his shirt and spattered the floor. “Sick bay,” the Security Chief ordered. “I’m fine, ma’am,” the crewman grimaced. Wiping a bloody hand on his pants he gripped his phaser. “I can fight.” “Yes, you can,” Nickerson stated. “But it isn’t necessary. We have sufficient forces to contain the monster.” “But, ma’am,” the crewman said miserably… “Sickbay! Now!” The Security Chief bellowed. “Starfleet has too much money invested in you to have you bleed to death in a corridor. “Move!” The crewman left reluctantly, handing his phaser to the outstretched hand of the Klingon. ‘We really must fight these people someday,’ the Ambassador thought admiringly. ‘They will make excellent opponents.’ He inserted himself in the line and began blasting the creature joyfully. Foubar came to consciousness slowly, groaning. He stood up, wavered, took a step backwards, tripped over one of his dinosaurs, cracked his head on a bedside table and was out again before he hit the floor.

“Ready!” yelled Blake over the comm... “Transporter,” the Science Officer tapped her own badge. “Lock on to the device in sick bay and prepare intraship transport to these co-ordinates on my order. Captain…” “Ready,” the Captain replied. “When we get the indication, the creature is in the stasis field we’ll duck the ship.” “Alrighty then,” Rust said. She took a deep breath. “Fire team, fall back! Transporter, now!” A whine filled the corridor above that of the phasers. The two components of the jury-rigged stasis field materialized on either side of the monster. There was an imperceptible movement of the ship and the creature shot up through the ceiling like a bat out of hell. A triple bang was followed by the howling of escaping air, then it stopped. Dead silence. “Sum it up,” Captain Michaud said two hours later in her ready room.


VOLUME 18, ISSUE 2

Page 25

Foubar vs the Dust Bunnies, contd.

“Hull breach under repair, damage control says four hours,” the Security Chief said. “Damage to the three sections will be fixed within 12 hours.”

“Doctor?” the Captain glanced at the Medical Officer. “One casualty,” the Doctor replied. “Moderate blood loss, no danger. I’ll keep him overnight just to keep him quiet.” “We dodged a bullet,” the Captain said. “Good work, Science, you too Chief.” Both nodded. “Now,” the Captain sighed. “I guess we know who is responsible for this cluster…this mess. Chief?” “EVA?” the Chief asked hopefully. The Captain shook her head, with even more reluctance than before. “Isn’t there anything on the ship he can do that won’t cause a major catastrophe?” “I have an idea,’ the Ambassador Kapac said. He grinned. A Klingon grin was not a pleasant sight. Foubar was back in Cargo Bay Three. He had swept the entire bay of dust. Now, in the interests of interstellar diplomacy, he was constructing a gift for the Klingon Emperor. A scale model of the Battle of the Alamo. The Chief had thoughtfully replicated him the needed parts of the fort and the assorted troops involved. Foubar estimated there were about 12,000 parts. All of which the Chief wanted individually painted. He calculated he might be through in time for the heat death of the universe.

Artwork by Pablo Carlos Budassi


Page 26

CHANNEL ONE

Starfleet Postcard X-Change

A few months ago, a former SFI member came up with the idea to start a postcard exchange in an effort to bring far flung members closer together. It is now ran by ADM James Herring of the USS Missouri in Region 12. It has been steadily growing and now even has it’s own Facebook page. SFI members are exchanging cards with other members and ships in their own region as well as across the world. To quote one participant, “It makes going to the mailbox fun!” Some are buying postcards that represent their area, or are making their own at home or using companies such as Vistaprint. No matter which you choose, you can be assured that it will be greeted with much enthusiasm. For more information, please contact ADM Herring at sfpostcardxchange@outlook.com or go to: https://www.facebook.com/groups/221149075337061/


VOLUME 18, ISSUE 2

INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE 2018 “Family Reunion” • 10-12 August 2018 HILTON MINNEAPOLIS/ST. PAUL AIRPORT MALL OF AMERICA Bloomington, Minnesota http://www.ic2018.org/

Page 27


Artwork by Rany Atlan

Disclaimer: CHANNEL ONE is the official newsletter of Region 1, a part of STARFLEET International, and is published quarterly. All articles are the property of CHANNEL ONE, however, they are the opinions of their authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the staff of CHANNEL ONE. Permission is granted to copy any part of this newsletter, as long as proper credit is given to the author(s) and CHANNEL ONE. Send all submissions to r1channel.one@gmail.com before the 1st of January, April, July and October in order to make the next publication.

STAR TREK is a trademark of Paramount Pictures, all rights reserved. Editor & Publisher - CMDR Oliver Kling

Assistant Editor - VADM Kimberly Donohoe

Channel One - July 2018  
Channel One - July 2018  
Advertisement