quorum crew Isaac Bendele President Publisher
Mickey J. Hart Editor
Bowen Marshall Feature Writer
Evan T. Robinson Columnist
Sara Ernest Columnist
Patrick Butler Graphic Designer Illustrator
Briden Schueren Graphic Designer Lead Photographer
JM Rayburn Graphic Designer Social Media Manager
Jerry Turnes Web & Digital Media Developer
Amy Tannenbaum Photographer Columnist
Craig Chadwell The Taste Buds Columnist
Mike Moffo The Taste Buds Columnist
Shaun Whybark Columnist
Que Jones Columnist
Kris Littler Contributor
Erik Hays CFO
Also on the crew: Jackie Vanderworth, Columnist Seth Rogers, Account Executive Justus Heil, Account Executive Ray LaVoie, Photography Andrew Johnson, Assistant Editor
Josh McConaughy Scene Contributor
Michael Greenhouse Columnist
This monthâ€™s contributors: Jeanette Birkhoff, Adjourn Nathan Dunmoyer, Photography Devin Oliver, Travel Emma Parker, Photography Dwayne Steward, Copy Editing
Michael Lovett Scene Contributor
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6 DEVELOPMENT Foster the People 14 PERSPECTIVES Contributing to the Conversation
Artist of the month | Nathan Dunmoyer | www.NathanDPhotography.com
30 CULTURE Painters & Beasts 31 FITNESS Fun in the Sub
16 SEXPERT Here We Go Again
32 FAMILY Ana, Camila, and Lola
18 MOSIAC Our Silos of Silence
35 THE TASTE BUDS Luscious Lemongrass
21 MAN’S BEST FRIEND Two & Four-Legged Friends
38 TRAVEL Rio de Janeiro
26 BARTENDER OF THE MONTH Brittany Parker, Wall Street Nightclub
For more information go to: www.QuorumColumbus.com / QuorumColumbus
About our August artist: Nathan Aaron Dunmoyer grew up on a paint and quarter horse farm in Indiana where he was one of 31 seniors in his high school class. Sports was his first passion. He played baseball and basketball in high school and one year of Division II basketball in college. Nathan moved to Columbus 10 years ago to join the Columbus Ohio Division of Fire as a firefighter and paramedic. He currently serves on the division’s special operations dive and rescue team. While he has many interests (scuba diving, snowboarding, canoeing, and attending concerts), photography has become his passion.
40 TRANSlation Advice from Jackie 45 ADJOURN Divine Lessons
THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER | MICKEY J. HART
The concept of this issue came to several members of the Quorum Columbus crew as we huddled around our table at the AIDS Walk this past April. While the cold impacted the humans, the dogs seemed just fine with the weather that day. After seeing several cute pups and their humans, we knew this issue had to happen. We felt there was no better time than August and the “dog days of summer” when Sirius, the Dog Star, comes into play to focus on LGBTQ people and our pups. Growing up, I knew the “dog days of summer” as the time that my grandma prohibited me from playing in the stream behind her house in the late summer due to lower water levels and stagnation. (To my delight this Hocking County stream is called Queer Creek.) Our staffers have been far from stagnant in bringing this issue together. You will spot items on our theme throughout the issue including: the value of our pets, puppy portraits in the park, a review of local dog parks, and a featured family. Plus, we close with Jeanette Birkhoff sharing spiritual lessons she has learned from her dogs. Along the way you will meet Frankie, Foster, Rocco, Lola, Sampson, and many more four-legged friends. Mickey J. Hart
Quorum Columbus Magazine is published monthly by Qmunity, LLC. Quorum Columbus Magazine issues are FREE at distribution locations throughout the greater Columbus area. COPYRIGHT© 2013 Quorum Columbus Magazine. Reproduction without expressed written permission from the publisher is strictly prohibited. All rights in letters, manuscripts, photographs, drawings, illustrations, and artwork sent to Quorum Columbus Magazine will be treated as assigned for publication and copyright purposes and are subject to Quorum Columbus Magazine and Qmunity, LLC terms and conditions. All models are at least18 years of age. All photographs included are posed for by professional models or willing participants in Quorum Columbus Magazine except as otherwise noted. Neither said photographs nor accompanying editorial is indicative of sexual orientation. The publisher of the magazine does not assume responsibility for statements by advertisers. ALL CONTENT AND RELATED MEDIA ARE COPYRIGHTED © 2013 BY QUORUM COLUMBUS MAGAZINE. All rights reserved.
FOSTER THE PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT | JM RAYBURN PETS. Just saying the word prompts a smile (assuming you have a soul). If you want to start a lengthy conversation with someone you don’t know, ask him/her about his/ her pet. Not unlike a person discussing their newborn, pet owners can be obsessive about the object of their affection. This is particularly true of LGBT pet owners. About 62 percent of American households have a pet, with dogs accounting for 40 percent of the total. Cats are second, at 34 percent. Dog and cat ownership has continued to grow slightly in recent years, even as the popularity of other types of pets like birds, fish and reptiles has declined. The pet industry as a whole has continued to grow through the Great Recession, albeit at a slower pace. According to the market research firm Packaged Facts, Americans in 2011 spent a record $55 billion on their pets, more than the gross domestic product of many countries. How does the LGBT community factor into those figures? Well, on average the LGBT community has a higher percentage of pet ownership than the general populace. The reason behind this is not so clear-cut. Some believe pets may be a substitute for children. But I’d say the reality is all people own pets for a host of reasons. Back in April, I became a pet owner for the first time. I met a little Australian Shepherd/Border Collie puppy. My aunt gave him to me as an early birthday gift. I decided to name him Foster, which of course is Australian for “cute” (or “beer” depending on who you ask). The reason I wanted a dog is twofold. First, I wanted companionship because I am single and live alone. Two, Foster provides unconditional love. With unconditional love comes a sense of security, which is comforting.
AMERICANS IN 2011 SPENT A RECORD $55 BILLION ON THEIR PETS Another comforting fact is that pets provide health benefits to us. Studies have shown that pets can elevate our mood. AIDS patients with pets have been proven to be less depressed than those who are not pet owners. Furthermore, a major study in Australia calculated the number of doctor visits for pet owners versus non-owners. The calculations indicated that the presence of pets saved the Australian health care system between $790 million and $1.5 billion through fewer doctor visits and improved health conditions. Benefits of owning pets and animals relate to both physical and mental health: getting more exercise, having companionship, and being active while caring for another being. Walking Foster every morning, afternoon and night increases the amount of calories I burn each day. Exercise is proven to reduce stress, so Foster not only elevates my mood but also provides stress reduction. This may reverse, however, when he wants to play catch while I am enthralled with my HBO shows. Foster, ain’t nobody got time for that. An added bonus of owning a pet is I can support the local economy by shopping at Columbus-based pet businesses. I love it. Dog bakeries might be the happiest places in world, and you won’t leave one without a post to your Instagram. Finally, we all know that walking a dog can lead to interactions with beautiful strangers. I would like to think Foster makes me more approachable and is a source of conversation. So far this only seems to be true with twentysomething girls on High Street. That will change, though, as I am in the process of teaching Foster to only go up to people in scrubs and business suits. What? It was his idea!
| Josh McConaughy THE TERM “MAN’S BEST FRIEND” is a very true in the case of my dog Rocco. I have had the great pleasure of having this noble beast in my life for three years and he really is my best and most loyal friend. Rocco is a better cuddler than quite a few of the men from my past (sorry boys) and my family likes him much more than they liked any of my exes. He loves me unconditionally and always makes me feel better when I am down or lonely. In return for his devotion and companionship it is my responsibility to feed him, love him with all my heart, and take him to one of his favorite places -- the dog park. The Columbus Recreation & Parks Department offers four dog parks within the city limits where dogs can roam off leash in a fence-enclosed area. Each dog park offers something special for our four legged pals. Big Walnut Dog Park is located on the east side and includes three acres with access to a pond. Godown Dog Park is on the northwest side and is shaded with many trees. Three Creeks Dog Park is on the southeast side and features five acres which is great for dogs who love to run. Wheeler Dog Park is centrally located (behind the Neil Avenue Giant Eagle) and is definitely the gayest of the dog parks. If you or your pooch is looking for a love connection, as well as fun in the sun, this park might be your best bet. There are additional dog parks in the Columbus area to visit. Alum Creek Dog Park and Beach is a fun destination during the hot days of summer if your dog enjoys swimming. The Scioto Audubon Metro Park just south of downtown has a fenced area that includes an agility course. There are also unofficial dog parks such as Goodale Park and Rocco’s favorite; Wolfe Park near Bexley and Olde Towne East. Be sure to keep a watchful eye if you let your dog off leash at either of these two parks because they are not enclosed by fences.
Remember you are sharing this space with others – nobody wants a two-legged bitch at the dog park! Keep your pooch on the leash during your first visit to see how it reacts. If your dog doesn’t get along well with other canines or people maybe you should find another activity. Dog parks are great places for you and your dog to be social, make new friends, have fun, and get exercise. Always remember to clean up any messes and be sure to have fun with your best friend.
The Law Office of Jennifer L. Coriell Are you prepared for the legal changes in your future? Weâ€™re here to help.
MISS GAY OHIO 2013
Pelotonia at Southbend
SCENE: SOUTHBEND TAVERN RECENTLY played host to the “Cancer is a Drag” fundraising event for Pelotonia. Drag queens Hellin Bedd, Ashley O’Shea, Plenty O’Smiles, and Gretta Goodbottom donated their time, talents, and tips as they performed a show electrified with energy for a great cause – kicking cancer’s butt. Pelotonia is the grass-roots bicycle ride that raises millions of dollars each year for cancer research. Pelotonia’s operating expenses are covered by funding partners so 100% of each dollar donated goes directly to fund research at The OSU Comprehensive Cancer Center – Arthur G. James Cancer Hospital and Richard J. Solove Research Institute. Craig Chadwell (one of our food review duo, The Taste Buds) will be bicycling 100 miles as part of the Pelotonia ride on August 10. The Southbend benefit show brought in over $600 on Friday, July 19. These donations will help toward his $1,800 required goal. Chadwell shared, “A huge thank you to the talented ladies who performed, and the many, many friends and strangers who showed up to support this great cause.” If you wish to donate or want to learn more, visit: www.pelotonia.org. To donate to Craig’s efforts, search: Chadwell or Rider TC0019.
SARA SHARES CONTRIBUTING TO THE CONVERSATION | SARA ERNEST Hopefully by now, we’ve all had a chance to process what the events of June 14 and what the week leading up to it meant to each of us and our community. Now that some time has passed, I want to contribute to the conversation. I had no idea when I got the Facebook invitation for ‘On Fridays, We Wear Pink,’ how big this event and the concept would (and could) become. The movement, started in part by entertainer and fundraiser Nina West, seemed to take on a life of its own almost instantly. Over two thousand people joined the Facebook event in the first day, with responses over the course of the week coming from around the world.
OVER TWO THOUSAND PEOPLE JOINED THE FACEBOOK EVENT THE FIRST DAY... To walk through my day on June 14, 2013 and see all the pink shirts in my office, worn by straight allies, and on Facebook and Instagram from the LGBTQ community and our supporters was astounding. It gave me warm, fuzzy feelings deep in the recesses of my cold, sarcastic heart. It also made me a little sad. Three men were beaten for living their truths and this is the first and only time we as a community have devoted any true energy to addressing the persistent issue of hate crimes since I moved to Columbus in 2003. I know it’s part of the human condition that if we don’t see it, it’s not real, so I really shouldn’t be surprised that living in the safety of our Columbus community has taken away our perspective that these, and worse, happen all around the world every single day. If I mentioned the name Mark Carson, who would know why he’s important? Does anyone remember that he was the man who was shot in the face and killed in New York City while walking to dinner with his boyfriend? They should. He was in Greenwich Village, one of the
most notoriously gay sections of New York when a man approached them and started a verbal altercation that ended in Carson’s murder in May. Where was the community’s outrage and call for change then? As if the other assaults on LGBTQ individuals in NYC weren’t bad enough, the shooting took place in the same neighborhood where The Stonewall Inn is located. If this kind of thing, can happen in the birthplace of the gay right’s movement what does that say for the state of the movement? Who knows about Clement Meric, the French college student who was beaten at a train station in Paris by a group of skinheads? There is some speculation as to what caused the fight that brought about the blow that caused Meric’s death, but it is agreed that he was a gay activist who was beaten by ultra conservative skinheads. France’s right wing is blaming the fight between Meric’s anti-fascist group and the skinheads who attacked them on mounting tensions over France’s recent passage of marriage equality legislation. Seriously?! Every day, people all around the world are forced to live in societies and communities that aren’t as open and comfortable as our pocket of the country. There are many hate related things that we as a community still need to discuss and put an end to, including corrective rape, bullying and conversion therapy. Are you still wearing pink on Friday? Are you talking about the implications of the movement here and about the fact that we even need one? I am and I do. Nina put out the call and I am taking up the banner. “On Fridays, We Wear Pink,” was an amazing way to start a movement. It’s up to all of us to keep up the momentum and to continue the conversation.
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HERE WE GO AGAIN: OUR FAILURE TO FOCUS ON EACH OTHER | SHAUN WHYBARK If you haven’t picked up on it by now, I am pretty direct. My intent is to bring to light topics about sex that may not get the attention they deserve. Some topics are fun to talk about and some aren’t. This one might piss some people off but it is time to start a needed conversation in our community. FACT: There are more people being infected and living with HIV and STDs today than at any point in history. That is a cause for celebration thanks to life saving medicines and drug therapies. But it is also your fault. It’s my fault. It’s the community’s fault. It is OUR fault. We are at fault because we live in a time where access to preventative measures and knowledge about how STDs are spread has never been more advanced. We live in a community that actively rallies around CAUSES. We invest enormous amounts of money, energy, and support into every non-profit that supports and takes care our community. This support is a wonderful, unique quality of Columbus that isn’t found in other big cities. We are extremely fortunate. However, the major concern with all of this support of CAUSES is that it focuses on fixing problems rather than preventing them by investing in one another. We continue to forget this and we forget each other. When we only focus on the CAUSES, we inherently ignore the issues we are supporting. Our support becomes SUPERFICIAL because it is too little, too late. It constantly happens in nearly every aspect of our community. For example, we are known for being witty and judgmental. That gives us cause to judge someone by how they are dressed or how they talk while at the same time giving money to prevent bullying. We give to a CAUSE without examining our own behaviors because it takes too much investment and is seen as too much of a burden. Now, let’s relate this thought to how sex lives are approached. When do we hear wide-spread support about truly having a conversation with a sex partner about what their status is, whether or not they’ve had unprotected sex with other people, whether or not a condom should be used? When do we encourage each
other to have that conversation? Not often. We simply ignore those hard conversations because it’s easier to show interest in a sex partner for just one night, to get what we want from a pleasure filled interaction, and to worry about the consequences later. Undoubtedly, there will always be instances of this, but when it becomes the culture, the accepted way to behave, we teach ourselves to NOT care about the actual point of the CAUSE – that we are supporting people, not issues. You might be thinking that people should be responsible for their own actions since we are all adults here; but here’s the rub. When baby gays come out into our community, they see how we act. They see how “the adults” treat each other, and they see the criteria and feel they have to act that way in order to be accepted which in our community is supporting the CAUSE but not talking about what is causing HIV. History is being repeated because we have stopped talking about OUR history with HIV and STDs on a personal, individual level. And when we stop talking to one another we forget that in sharing our history we are caring for one another by educating people about preventing the spread of HIV. We can’t truly show support for CAUSES if we don’t—on an individual, one on one, daily level— care about the people in our community. Don’t get me wrong, keeping awareness for CAUSES helps keep the fight going and non-profits can’t survive without support. That should never diminish; but I’m asking that we take a look inside and show support for the people the agencies are there to support. How do we do this? If you meet someone in the bar, get to know them. If you meet someone at a rally, listen to their story. If you meet someone walking down the street, ask them about their day or share a laugh. Once we start caring for each individual in our community, the causes we support will become more effective. It is our fault that rates are going up; but we can stop it. We have to set the standard. It starts today; it starts with each of us. Free confidential HIV and STI testing is available at ARC Ohio’s locations. Anonymous HIV testing is available. For more information call 614-299-2437 or visit www.arcohio.com
OUR SILOS OF SILENCE | BOWEN MARSHALL
LIKE MOST 20 - SOMETHING PROFESSIONALS, I work. I work and when I think I can’t do anymore work, I work some more. Between graduate school, homework, and employment responsibilities, 60, 70 and 80-hour work weeks are par for the course. That professional life in tandem with my refusal not to give up on the gym, not to give up on going out with friends, and to actively work on the relationship I have with my boyfriend, whom I love, means my schedule is packed. My hope is that when you see me I am happy and energized, ready for the next task, and grateful for all the opportunities my hard work has afforded me. For the most part I am, but there are times when I am absolutely burnt out and ready to throw in the towel., There are nights when I am so tired I wish I could have a bed at work so I did not have to make the five-minute commute home. Part of me cringes at admitting there are times that my life isn’t one exquisitely framed Instagram moment after another. But it isn’t. And what I fear more than telling people about the struggles and self-doubt I encounter is that often times I don’t let people see my imperfections. I let people believe, especially young people, that I mentor, that my life is always together and one fun-filled moment to the next. I fear that in doing this I let others believe that living full and fulfilled life means a life absent of late nights, long hours, self-doubt, headaches and sacrifices; and as a result, they too construct an exterior façade that hides the struggles and anxieties they are have. I know I am not alone in this. I have talked with many friends, colleagues, and loved ones who struggle with the mantles of responsibility that they pick up or are thrust upon them. And the saddest part is that many of them think they are alone in their plights. They fear sharing their fractures and breaks because everyone around them seems to be handling life’s toils effortlessly. Too often their breaking points come not from the stress of work but from their self-imposed silos. If the silo that I am describing sounds similar to living in the closet, its because it is. There is shame in our society around admitting that we struggle; and rather than talking
about that struggle, we let our shame lock our fears and anxiety away and pretend they aren’t there while those emotions gut us from the inside. That was where I was this month in thinking about this column. I knew the deadline to write was coming, and then it passed. Then my back-up deadline came and passed. And I considered forgoing the column this month. If I couldn’t produce a meaningful and thought-provoking column, then I might as well not do one at all. Then I remembered that this is the function of my silo, that in trying to get everything done perfectly, I become less joyful and turn to caffeine, sleepless nights, self-criticism and anxiety to get me through my deadlines. As a result, I let go of my side projects that give me joy, which include writing this column. I believe we need to have honest conversations about the nature of the lives we live. We need to be told and tell one another that the very nature of striving and challenging yourself involves struggle. The trick is to not let that struggle crush you, but instead to find those small things that save you. So, I did a few things that save me from my anxiety and self-criticism. I took a nap, ate some cheese, watched some TrueBlood and wrote this column.
THE TRICK IS TO NOT LET THAT STRUGGLE CRUSH YOU, BUT INSTEAD FIND THOSE SMALL THINGS THAT SAVE YOU. I share all of this with you because if you read this and feel you are drowning in the sea of your own obligations please know that you are not alone. Please reach out to someone and break out of your silo of silence and if it helps, say these two things to yourself. These are two phrases that have saved me: You deserve to live a life that is more than stress and anxiety. You deserve to guard like hell those activities that bring you joy.
do you DOO DAH
MANâ€™S BEST FRIEND
Pets Without Parents: www.petswithoutparents.net Franklin County Dog Shelter: www.franklincountydogs.com
Breed: Lab | Shepherd Mix Age: 3 years Parent: Josh McConaughy Pup is from: Franklin County Dog Shelter Fun Pet Note: Loves to cuddle
Breed: Lab Mix Age: 3.5 Months Nick Name: OD Parent: Jeremy Boucher Pup is from: Mom
Breed: Boston Terrier Age: 4 years Nick Name: Miss Piggy Parent: Todd Hartley Pup is from: Breeder Fun Pet Note: Dances
Breed: Staffordshire Bull Terrier Age: 2 years Nick Name: Softy Pofty Parent: Edwin Todd Pup is from: Powell Animal Welfare Society Fun Pet Note: Jumps from couch to couch when we come home
Breed: Rhodesian Ridgeback Mix Age: 3 years Parent: Ben Kerrick Pup is from: Pets Without Parents Fun Pet Note: Howls at the tornado siren every week
Scarlet Breed: Lab Mix Age: 4 years Parent(s): Bowen and Courtney Pup is from: Franklin County Dog Shelter Fun Pet Note: Bites furniture when you tell her no
Breed: Beagle | Pointer Mix Age: 3 years Parent: Cody Cooke Pup is from: Rescued Fun Pet Note: Chases tennis balls
Photos | Emma Parker
Breed: Husky | Shepherd Mix Age: 2.5 years Nick Name: Boo-roobaru Parent: Alex Suttmiller Pup is from: Athens County Dog Shelter Fun Pet Note: Mixes up commands when excited
Breed: Australian Shepherd | Border Collie Mix Age: 6 months Nick Name: Foster, the friendly dog Parent: JM Rayburn Pup is from: Birthday gift from my aunt. Fun Pet Note: Coerces people into giving him belly rubs
Photos | Emma Parker
Breed: Puggle Age: 8 years Parent: Danielle Jo Pup is from: Brother Fun Pet Note: Talks
Breed: Border Collie | German Shepherd Mix Age: 3 month Parent: Corey Hoch Fun Pet Note: Loves car rides and swimming
Breed: French Bulldog Age: 3 month Nick Name: Frank the tank Parent: April Liimatta Pup is from: Bonnie, Illinois Fun Pet Note: Loves to play rough
Breed: Toy American Eskimo Age: 9 years Nick Name: Scouty Parent: Raj Lahoti Pup is from: Dog watching while sister was on vacation and he stayed. Fun Pet Note: Attacks mail when it is put in the mail slot
JOURNEY DOWNTOWN and you’ll find Brittany Parker at Wall Street Nightclub, tucked away just north of Long Street. Having been there for nearly four years, Brittany says that every night is an exciting mix of regulars and fresh faces, and she couldn’t ask for a better group to work with. Wall Street, she says, is one of the largest LGBTQA video dance clubs in the Midwest and has been open for 26 years!
EVERY NIGHT IS AN EXCITING MIX OF REGULARS AND FRESH FACES Calling Columbus her home, Brittany says that the openminded city is perfect for her and her dog, Kona, a three year old Boxer/Shepard mix that, according to Brittany, is the biggest princess in the world.
Wall Street Night Club 144 North Wall St. Columbus, OH 43215 614.464.2800
Jameson + Sprite + Limes
Brittany is a Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream fanatic! Whiskey & Pecan ice cream (in a waffle cone of course) makes any day.
Great Painters. Animal Muses. Unparalleled Art. | Que Jones Frida Kahlo, an influential Mexican painter known for her folk-art inspired works, was almost always surrounded by a menagerie of animals; monkeys, dogs, parrots, parakeets, chickens, macaws, a pet eagle (named Gertrudis Caca Blanca, “Gertrude White S***), and a fawn. Kahlo’s early life was filled with tragedy. At age six she contracted polio, permanently injuring her right arm, and at age 11 was in a terrible bus accident, resulting in an inability to have children. Perhaps it was this early tragedy, or her inability to give birth, that created her love of animals. Kahlo’s paintings are filled with self portraits surrounded by her pets. Kahlo said about her art, “I paint my own reality. The only thing I know is that is paint because I need to, and I paint whatever passes through my head without any other consideration.” While in the public’s eye, Kahlo was a heterosexual woman; in private, the truth differed greatly. Kahlo had a tumultuous marriage with the famous Mexican artist, Diego Rivera. Both of them however had many affairs, with both genders, outside their marriage. Rivera tolerated Kahlo’s female relationships, but her male lovers sparked jealousy. Kahlo’s animals truly shared her life more than any person ever could. They served as both her companions and muses. Andy Warhol, famous for his pop art style, had an animal muse, a dachshund named Archie. Archie accompanied Warhol almost everywhere: dinner, parties, gallery openings, and even his art studio where he made several famous prints of his dachshund. Surprisingly, growing up Warhol had an affiliation with cats, as he lived with multiple felines throughout the 50s and 60s. This love even resulted in a collection titled “25 Cats Named Sam and One Blue Pussy.” The love of dogs came when Warhol’s boyfriend, Jed Johnson, convinced Warhol they should get a dog. It was Johnson who chose the short-haired, dark-brown, dachshund; thus Warhol’s relationship Archie was born. Warhol was an openly gay male before the gay rights movement, and his homoerotic drawings and films brought much of the underlying gay culture into the mainstream. While he was not an activist in his lifetime, Warhol’s contributions to the gay rights movement were immeasurable.
Archie Warhol Salvador Dali had two ocelots, Babou and Bouba, who were both his traveling companions and muses. One famous incident occurred in an art gallery in Paris. The owner yelled at Dali, stating,” your g**d***ed cat has made a nuisance on my priceless 17th century engravings.,” Dali responded, “A nuisance of Dali’s can only increase their value.” This proved true, as the now stained and doubly important engravings sold for twice as much. While Dali was happily married, there were rumors of a relationship with Spanish painter Federico Lorca. While Dali confirmed the two were dear friends, Lorca was openly gay. Dali denied a physical relationship stating, “he [Lorca] was a homosexual, as everyone knows, and madly in love with me… He tried to screw me twice…I was extremely annoyed, because I wasn’t homosexual, and I wasn’t interested in giving in.
The love of dogs came when warhol’s boyfriend convinced him they should get a dog Besides, it hurts. So nothing came of it. But I felt awfully flattered vis-à-vis the prestige. Deep down I felt that he was a great poet and that I owe him a tiny bit of the Divine Dali’s asshole.” Whatever the speculation was, Dali openly denied the rumors of homosexuality but still remained a close friend and ally to Lorca. Dali’s open-mindedness through his surrealist thinking made him a great ally to the LGBTQ community around him, as well as an advocate for the animals he truly loved.
ITNESS FITNESS FITNESS FITNESS
FUN IN THE SUN
Feel Great Inside & Out
| MICHAEL GREENHOUSE THE SUMMER IS coming to the mid-point and days are getting hotter. The cool air coming from the vents in your house seems too perfect for you and your fourlegged friend. Don’t be fooled into thinking the cool AC feels better than a brisk walk in the natural fresh air with man’s best friend. When the temperature rises, you may want to stay inside, however this is the time of year to get out there experience some new workout areas in the Columbus area. Staying healthy is becoming more and more difficult, and it’s not because of the lack of time. It’s because of the quantity of easy distractions. There is always something “better” to do than work out or go for a run. The key in staying healthy and fit is to make it something you want to do, not something you have to do. Add things to your fitness program that you enjoy. Try to switch it up this summer. Try something new. I suggest you make your workouts fun this summer: go to a new place, join a structured program, or start a running group. Motivating Summer Fitness Suggestions: One of the easiest ways to make fitness fun is to bring your pet along. Going on a long walk or on a run with your dog is not just good for you, but for your pet as well. Columbus is filled with beautiful parks and pathways. Join a fitness boot-camp. This is great way to get out to meet new people and to stay fit. Every day, I see ads placed on websites about discounted fitness plans. Try one and find one that works for you. And there are countless fitness groups. Go find them! Set a long-term goal and start building toward it. There are always many races or fun runs in the Columbus area. Train for and take part in these. Need a goal? The Columbus Marathon happens in October. Connect with workout buddy. Pick someone who you can trust and who will push you if needed. I have been in fitness and health industry for many years, have read many books and have written many papers on the fitness. With all of my knowledge, even I still have a hard time working out alone. Having that friend there will not only push you to do better, it will make it entertaining and give you something to look forward to on a regular basis. Finally, I suggest you post your improvements and achievements on a social networking page. Show people what you are doing and what you are trying to achieve. They can help push you to the top of the mountain. Not only will you be getting healthier, but you will always have something new to post. Who knows, you might motivate others to stay healthy!
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The Power Of
Family | AMY TANNENBAUM IT WAS A WARM, early summer evening in Bexley when I met up with Ana, her daughter, Camila, and their dog, Lola. They were referred to me by friends, and I was excited about the opportunity to feature a single-parent family instead of my usual couple. After some portraits where we lucked out with beautiful light from the setting sun, we chatted over dinner on the patio of Guiseppe’s Ritrovo. As Ana’s story unfolded, I expected 10 year old Camila to stay hidden by her mother’s phone, but I was pleasantly surprised as she chimed in regularly and opened up to me even over delicate topics such as her parents’ separation, her mother’s coming out, and her father moving away. Camila is a first-generation American - her mother from Uruguay, and her father from Guatemala. Ana told me about her struggles growing up in LA, working jobs to make ends meet, and trying to get an education while undocumented. While her family left Uruguay because of their politically liberal ideas, socially they were not as accepting, and so for much of her life, Ana kept trying to maintain relationships with the opposite sex. When she met Camila’s father, their political ideas and passions aligned, and an intense and long relationship developed. Ana admitted to me,”He was one of my best friends.” A difficult pregnancy coincided with a job opportunity for him in Ohio, and they relocated to Columbus when Camila was 3 months old. Life in Columbus created financial stability, while at the same time, life was also hectic; her husband’s two older children moved in, and his job required him to spend time away traveling. The combination created the opportunity for Ana to finally do some soul-searching, but not intentionally. She says, “it just happened ... I found myself in this space where I was super happy, but then realized that this other part of myself was coming out.” She talked to her husband and kids, and they separated. The couple was normally very peaceful, but there was one fight; Camila witnessed it, which was particularly hard on her and everyone involved. Ana’s ex-husband is now very supportive, and is happy in a new relationship.
At this point, Camila peeked out from behind the phone and became more engaged in our conversation. The separation was difficult on her, but she was quick to tell me that she happened to have another friend, a boy, who was going through his parents’ separation at the same time. He lived close, so they connected and helped each other. Camila was happy to recall the moment when her mother came out to her: Ana and the boy’s father were communicating, and Camila questioned if he was her new boyfriend, and would she marry him? Ana responded, “No, I don’t like men like that... [if I got married again,] it would be to a woman.” To Ana’s surprise, her daughter’s response was completely unphased and totally supportive. If anything, her parents’ separation, and her father’s subsequent relocation to Canada for a job opportunity, was harder on her than her mother being gay. It was also hard on their dog, Lola, who became part of the family at Camila’s request for a dog just before the separation. Lola was chosen to accommodate Camila’s allergies, and she calls Lola her “nonhuman best friend,” sometimes telling her things she won’t even share with her mother. Camila brags that Lola is a great listener while she practices her violin, and “she is good at keeping secrets.” Just after the separation, Ana moved to a two-bedroom apartment, and Camila floated between her parents for some time before settling with her mother. For Lola however, the apartment was not ideal, and she settled with Camila’s father until he moved away and Ana found a home. “She is a very sensitive dog,” Ana explains; the stress of the separation caused her anxiety, and wouldn’t eat when she was upset. These days, Lola is surrounded by stability and love. Camila and Ana discuss differences often and how important they are. “She’s at the age when she looks for things to fit in a mold, with a clear path, but we are not ordinary at all,” Ana explained. “Everyone in our family is from different countries and with different parents. She asks me, ‘Can we just have a normal family?’ We have a normal family, it just looks different from other families … every family is different.”
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PHOTO | AMY TANNENBAUM
Put Your Paws Up! Drag Queen
Cavan Irish Pub recently held a special version of their weekly Drag Queen Bingo night called â€œPut Your Paws Up!â€? Drag Queen Mary Nolan served as the hostess for this fundraiser benefiting the Powell Animal Welfare Society (PAWS). Several local businesses partnered to make the night a success. All proceeds from the event will be used to provide support for and care of animals needing adoption or foster care. To donate to, adopt, or learn more about PAWS visit: www.powellpaws.org
The Taste Buds Luscious Lemongrass | CRAIG CHADWELL & MIKE MOFFO HERE’S A CONVERSATION scenario for you: You: “Hey (Potential Date), I would love to take you to a nice restaurant for dinner and maybe a drink or two!” [Translation: Let me impress you by taking you out for a moderately-priced dinner with a decent bottle of wine. It will get us tipsy, but I am not going to spend an arm and a leg.] Potential Date: “That would be great! I LOVE sushi! Can we go to a sushi restaurant?” [Translation: Steak and taters gets me all bloated and – just in case – I don’t want that nor the resulting gas.] You: “That sounds PERFECT!” [Translation: I hate sushi, but I would rather you not be gassy either so… I am going to take you to a place where we can get the best of both worlds!] This is where Lemongrass Fusion Bistro on High Street in the Short North comes into play. The atmosphere is such that there is enough ambient noise to avoid those awkward lulls in conversation, yet you are still able to talk when appropriate. The menu is just pricey enough that you know it is going to be of good quality, but not so much that you can’t afford to buy a cab for your aforementioned potential date if things go south. Plus, there is enough variety on the menu that your potential date can have sushi and you can still experience a fantastic meal of another variety.
Has this scenario happened to the #tastebuds? Kind of. When we first met, one of us loved sushi and one couldn’t stand fish (giggle). We found Lemongrass and both fell in love. Many years and a few remodels later, we still regularly dine there. The food is still just as consistently fantastic as it was a decade ago. The sushi is just plain good. They have a fantastic, homemade variety that includes everything from your standard rolls to vegetarian rolls to a few creative options. It is all freshly made, so there is no need to worry about it getting funky in the process. Personally, we love Lemongrass for its “other” menu. You can find everything from perfectly prepared Pad Thai to Pacific Rim Chicken. We order that with extra, um, “Rim Sauce” (grin). To be honest, we can’t select just one item off the menu to rave most about because it is all pretty darn fantastic. The service is equally as great as the food. The staff is knowledgeable and patient, polite yet efficient. They know the menu like the back of their hand and they will take the time to answer any questions that you might have. Pete and Char, the owners, are often there greeting you up front. If they learn your name, they will remember it for years to come. That’s the kind of place Lemongrass is; fine dining at a very reasonable price with hole-in-the-wall service. As you might suspect, since the #tastebuds have two hands each and four thumbs between us, we give Lemongrass Fusion Bistro “four wasabi-covered thumbs up”! Oh, and when you go ask for extra “squishy bread”. Trust us. They will know what you mean.
Picnic With the Pups
Home Network Real Estate Justin Sali Agent/Consultant 614-291-SOLD justin.sali@ERA.com TigerHouses.com Facebook.com/TigerHomes
Professionally Serving Buyers & Sellers Since 2005
Rio de Janeiro LGBTQ Tourism and Activism: Why they gotta be separate?
| DEVIN OLIVER SUMMER IS HERE in full force. Like I have often done, you may be wondering how the heck can you get out of Ohio and escape to some far away, fun-filled, queer-friendly place,. Step 1: Your ride-or-die friends and/or your partner are down to take a trip. Check. Fantastic! But where, oh where, will you all take your fine, queer selves for a weeklong getaway? New York City? San Francisco? London? Berlin? Barcelona? Let me propose a place that provokes strong desires, excitement, intrigue, and even outright fear and anxiety in many Americans, whether queer or straight. I’m talking about a place that I currently call home: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Now, when it comes to telling you why Rio is a place that is worth your time and attention (and money) as a queer traveler, I must admit that I find myself torn. How do I make the “Marvelous City” appealing to foreigners while giving the place and its people justice in so few words? Furthermore, how do I do it without buying into the cliché eroticization of Brazilians and their culture, without depoliticizing social life in the city, and without representing the same elite, chiseled, and bronzed queer men, like every other LGBTQ tourism piece seems to do? This is not only a dilemma when describing queer tourism in Rio, but rather when describing queer tourism in cities throughout the world.
Rio has been chosen twice by LogoTV as the “World’s Sexiest Gay Destination,” a title that even the municipal government currently sponsors and flaunts to the world. The shifting reputation of Rio as a “sexy” and gay-friendly touristic mecca makes sense if one contemplates the generally active and sun-soaked lifestyle of cariocas (residents of Rio), the city’s lively beaches, thriving gay nightlife, sensational music scene and history, and world-
famous festivals, such as the annual celebrations of Carnaval, Réveillon, and Pride. To an extent there is a quite sexy appeal of Rio’s proposed city narratives of cultural diversity, sexual diversity and urban transformation into a global city as the host of the 2014 World Cup and 2016 Olympics. However, you might be wondering how Rio’s global reputation has transformed into that of a gay tourist haven. Furthermore, is everything truly as rosy as these sexy city images and narratives propose? These are questions that we should start and keep asking as privileged queer travelers as we visit places that increasingly sell themselves as LGBTQ-friendly. I strongly believe that it is mostly what takes place just outside the frame, excluded from these beautiful, sanitized tourism images, that makes a place like Rio worth your time and attention as a traveler. What is this other side of Rio to which I’m referring? No, I’m not an old-school anthropologist, selling you some ethnography of drug addicts and prostitutes in the city’s underbelly. I’m instead referring to the complex and diverse histories and realities of queer folks in the city. I’m referring to decades of activism, struggles, and advances of the LGBTQ movement against oppression and violence. That history has been fundamental in the still-in-progress transformation of Rio as a queer mecca, laying the groundwork for civil society and the local government to partner and create anti-homophobia task forces and campaigns, whose projects can be seen throughout the city. Unfortunately, these courageous feats and advances are often severed and effaced from LGBTQ tourism propaganda. It’s truly amazing how such a depoliticizing move can make it appear that certain cities have almost always been gayfriendly, with special boutiques, hotels, restaurants, bars, and beaches through which us queers have always frolicked, loaded with money and carefree.
This issue of sanitized city images and narratives in Rio’s tourism propaganda, for example, is especially relevant today. The entire nation has awakened, with more than a million Brazilians having taken to the streets this past month, denouncing decades of incredulous inequality, corruption, human rights violations, abysmal quality of social services, and the ways in which the upcoming mega-events have already exacerbated the issues above. Of course, LGBTQ activists and organizers have also been key players in solidarity with this movement. Besides denouncing all of the issues above, LGBTQ folks have been fighting against acts of homophobic violence and discrimination at key protests, as well as the recent “gay cure” legislation that now authorizes psychologists to “treat” homosexuals, as if their sexuality were a disease. However, you won’t see these truly inspiring folks or their movement pop up in LGBTQ tourism propaganda. What I am disclosing to you about the current state of LGBTQ affairs in Rio shouldn’t scare you from visiting. Rather, this is a call for us queer folks to take LGBTQ tourism propaganda with more of a grain of salt. It’s not that city marketing and tourism campaigns don’t correspond at all to LGBTQ realities in the city. My point is that these campaigns represent only a small, elite fraction of queer folks and their realities. What’s casually “forgotten” or left out of these campaigns is what makes cities like Rio infinitely dynamic spaces, whether these things are good, bad, ugly, or just plain “complicated”, as cariocas often say. If and when you decide to visit any gay-friendly city in the world, stateside or abroad, I strongly encourage you
| KRIS LITTLER Atticus Pinch, Crawla Dean, Crab dat ass, Steven Crabert, Gloria Hole-er, Justice Scalia, Queen LaQueefa, Howie Feltersnatch, Hans Stuck, Yo Crabba Crabba, Shell Silverstein, The Aristo-crab and...Crab life by the Balls!
Steve, Frank, Shelly, Joe, Punta Crab, Myrtle, Terry, Sally, Cher, Albert, Josh owns a trailer. Very disappointing, tisk, tisk, and you wonder why your crab doesn’t run. It’s from embarrassment!
to take the extra step as a traveler. My call to action: Have fun, be curious, and recognize your privilege! Explore those beaches, the bars, the restaurants, and the Tijuca rainforest in Rio. But take the time and courage to discover more than just that same collection of boutiques, hotels, restaurants, and gay bars that has been exhaustibly reproduced throughout the world. If you speak the native language, visit LGBTQ organizations. Strike up conversation. Ask questions about queer histories, struggles, and experiences in that place. Ask for opinions on true LGBTQ concerns and priorities. Find out who’s rising up and \queering things up in their neck of the woods. I guarantee that you will gain insight on how being queer in a gay mecca is still messy, complicated, and frustrating for the vast majority who live life outside the frame. Race, class, gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, and more are all issues there, just as they are (and should be) in Ohio. Take the time to explore and learn from those endeavors. You’ll come back with unforgettable experiences, interactions, and newly acquired knowledge. Maybe you’ll even be motivated to volunteer and advocate for the LGBTQ community once you’re back home! And besides, chances are that after a week you’ll forget the name of that chic cocktail bar on Farme de Amoedo street in Ipanema (i.e. the “gayest street in Rio”), where you had that to-die-for caipirinha. Happy travels!
THE RACERS ARE BURING the midnight oil coming up with winning names. More importantly, the crabs have been setting new speed records! Our fastest race to date lasted only seven seconds. So, for all of you who haven’t been to the races because you think it might be slow… you are WRONG! People are yelling, laughing, and winning great prizes. All this, plus it is ALWAYS free to play. Exile bar is hosting the next themed Crab Race! The “One Bear, Two Bear, Red Bear, Blue Bear!” races will be held on August 15. Fascinating Fact: While their name may suggest otherwise, hermit crabs are truly social creatures. They are unhappy being on their own.
Come Join the Race: Local Bar: Mondays at 9:30 p.m. Exile Bar: Thursdays at 9:30 p.m.
FOLLOW THE CRABS! FACEBOOK / CRABRACINGWITHKRIS
wANT TO ASK JACKIE A QuESTION ABOuT LIfE, THE uNIVERSE, AND EVERyTHINg? gET SOME ANSwERS!
| JACKIE VANDERWORTH Q #1: Dear Jackie, I have a friend who is constantly meddling in my life and giving me unsolicited advice on everything from what to wear to who to date. I used to shrug it off but it is getting more annoying than ever. For example, she is telling me I eat too much and am getting heavier and that I spend too much money partying on the weekends. I feel like my BF is my partner and we are married (I am gay!) What should I do to change her behavior? ~Todd Dear Todd, I live by the 3 F’s of Life- If you don’t Feed, Fuck, or Finance me then you have no business to tell me what to do! She is crossing the friend line because she is not a lover, not a partner, and barely a friend. This conduct would be hard to take from a significant other, let alone a friend. Explain how you feel and be direct. If her behavior doesn’t change immediately, you’ll stop hanging out with her. I would limit my time with her so she gets the message and socialize with other people who treat you better. If that doesn’t work, tell her to jump off the friend boat...because she just sank like the Titanic! ~Jackie Q #2: Dear Jackie, There’s this guy I am seeing but only for sex. We hook up a lot but I am ashamed to take him out in public. He is not my dream guy and not that good looking, but he is nice and great in bed. As I am not meeting other guys to date at this point and having grown fond of him, I would like to take it to the next level. But I am so hung up on how he looks. Does this make me shallow and conceited? ~Mike
Dear Mike, Sounds like you prescribe to the “Beauty is only a light switch away” philosophy. Everyone looks good when the lights go out, but when they are on, it’s a different story. This may work for the one night stands, but when someone becomes a regular in your life, a relationship has developed. And it sounds like you have grown feelings towards him and just cannot admit it. Physical attractiveness between two people is important as well as the mental connection. And since you cannot change how he looks or your feelings about it, you will always be missing that important component. So do him a favor and cut him loose....HE deserves better! ~JACKIE Q #3 Dear Jackie, My mother has been causing a lot of drama in my personal life. She is divorced and does not work. Her money problems have started to affect me and I’m not sure how to balance my relationship with her and my personal finances. My partner and I make decent money, but we cannot afford to take care of her too. She is only 52. What would be the best way to handle her and still help? ~Justin Dear Justin, At some point in life, we become the parent and they become the child. Although this usually happens when our parents are at a much advanced age, it sounds like is has hit you now. Try to help her financially with a small amount of money with the intention that it is for a limited time, even if it’s $20 a pay check. But be firm that she is going to have to take care of herself and you cannot be responsible for her finances. Since she is young enough to work, maybe start with a part-time job or have her placed with an employment agency for temporary assignments to re-enter the work force. And she needs to get her own life, so set her up with a dating site to meet a man....preferably a rich one! ~Jackie
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DRINK. 4 Club 20 Old North Columbus 20 E Duncan Ave 614.261.9111 8 Exile Italian Village 893 N 4th St 614.299.0069 10 Wine on High Short North 789 N High St 614. 294.8466 13 Local Bar Short North 913 N High St 614.670.8958 14 Slammers Downtown 202 E Long St 614.221.8880
EAT + DRINK. 11 12 21 23 25
La Fogata Grill Short North 790 N High St 614.294.7656 Level Dining Lounge Short North 700 N High St 614.754.7111 Union Short North 782 N High St 614.421.2233 Circus Short North 1227 N High St 614.421.2998 Barrel 44 Short North 1227 N High St 614.421.2998
DANCE. 2 Axis Short North 775 N High St 614.291.4008 22 Wall Street Night Club Downtown 144 N Wall St 614.464.2800
SHOP. 9 The Garden Short North 1186 N High St 614.294.2869 18 Torso Short North 772 N High St 614.421.7663 19 Torso (in Exile) Italian Village 893 N 4th St 614.299.0069
ENGAGE. 5 ARC OHIO Clintonville 4400 N High St 614.299.2437 24 ARC OHIO Medical Ctr + Pharmacy Short North 1033 N High St 16 Stonewall Columbus Short North 1160 N High St 614.299.7764
BREWERY DISTRICT SOUTH SIDE OLDE TOWNE EAST
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24 Explorers Club Merion Village 1586 S High St 614.725.0155
Cavan Irish Pub Merion Village 1409 S High St 614.725.5502 Club Diversity Brewery District 863 S High St 614.224.4050 Columbus Fuel Bar Merion Village 1312 S High St 614.725.0130 South Bend Merion Village 126 E. Moler St 614.444.3386 The Toolbox Saloon South Side 744 Frebis Ave 614.670.8113 Tremont Brewery District 708 S High St 614.445.9365
DRINK + DANCE. 1 A.W.O.L. Bar + The Barracks Olde Towne East 49 Parsons Ave 614.621.8779
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LOCAL & STATE ORGANIZATIONS Stonewall Columbus 614-299-7764 www.stonewallcolumbus.org The leading visionary, inclusive and fun-spirited LGBT organization in Central Ohio – sets the pace for increasing the visibility and acceptance of the community. It continues to be the driving force on the LGBT and allied community. ARC Ohio 800-252-0827 www.arcohio.org Fghts the spread of HIV, works towards reducing its transmission, stigma and the resulting discrimination through education and awareness, and provides HIV/AIDS.
BRAVO (Buckeye Region Anti-Violence Organization) 614-294-STOP www.bravo-ohio.org Works to eliminate violence perpetuated on the basis through prevention, advocacy, violence documentation and survivor services. Equality Ohio 614-224-0400 www.equalityohio.org A statewide lobbying organization working to secure equality for LGBT Ohioans. Kaleidoscope Youth Center 614-294-5437 www.kycohio.org Provides advocacy, education, support and a safe environment for LGBT youth in Central Ohio. P-FLAG Columbus 614-806-8025 An educational advocacy group working to increase awareness and understanding. Education and advocacy are the primary means of creating a hospitable environment for Central Ohio’s LGBT citizens and our families, friends and allies. Rainbow Sisters www.rainbowsisters.info A social and community-oriented group for lesbian women age 40 and over. Sisters of Lavender A social/support for women 40 and over. S.O.L. is the oldest lesbian organization in Columbus. TransOhio 614-441-8167 www.transohio.org Serves the Ohio transgender and allied communities by providing services, education, support and advocacy to promote and improve the health, safety and life experience of Ohio transgender individuals.
NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS GLAAD www.glaad.org National organization that promotes fair, accurate and inclusive representation as a means of challenging discrimination based on sexual orientation or identity. Human Rights Campaign www.hrc.com The nation’s largest gay and lesbian political organization. NGLTF www.thetaskforce.org The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) is a leading progressive civil rights organization that has supported grassroots organizing since 1973. The National Coalition for LGBT Youth www.outproud.org A wide range of resources available for youth and educators.
The Queer Resources Directory www.qrd.org and everything queer including families, youth, politics, resources, media and more. ARTS & MUSIC Capital Pride Band of Columbus 614-325-1590 www.cappride.org An Ohio-based LGBT organization that formed in 2003 and currently has a membership of over 70 instrumentalists.Our "all are welcome" policy applies to anyone interested in membership, regardless of race, color, creed, religion, national origin, sex, disability, age and sexual orientation. Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus 614-228-2462 http://www.cgmc.com/ Singing out since 1990, this chorus presents a series of concerts year. Open auditions held prior to rehearsal for each show. Evolution Theatre Company 614-233-1124 www.evolutiontheatre.org A semi-professional theatre company that presents musicals, dramas and comedies that have not been Broadway shows as well as new works and world Imagine Productions 614-398-1110 www.imaginecolumbus.com theatrical troupe committed to entertaining and educating community stakeholders in the Columbus Metro area through performing arts. We believe in inclusiveness, openness, and tolerance, and recognize that empowerment and growth occurs with audiences and performers, alike. Wexner Center for the Arts 614-292-3535 www.wexarts.org Internationally known contemporary arts center at
and educational programs, as well as a store and a café (Heirloom), all under one roof in an architectural landmark. COUNSELING Randi Cohen, LPCC-S 614-267-1993 www.randicohen.com Private practice in counseling working with adults helping to create strong sense of self, good communication tools & to get a clearer sense of how others see you, by focusing on awareness and working in the present. Shawn D. King, PhD., LISW 614-655-3554 www.shawnkingphd.com Providing individual, family, and group counseling services to the LGBT community. Specializing in relationship issues, anger management and mental health services including anxiety and depression. HEALTH & WELLNESS CHOICES 614-224-4663 www.choicescolumbus.org Takes pride in being the premier direct service provider of accredited domestic violence programming in central Ohio. Since 1977 they have provided counseling, shelter, crisis intervention, education and community and legal support and advocacy to central Ohio residents facing domestic violence. The Crystal Club 614-214-4828 www.thecrystalclub.org transsexuals, female impersonators, and other transgender individuals. Huckleberry House 614-294-5553 www.huckhouse.org Established in 1970 to provide a safe place for runaway youth in Columbus. Today, it provides many programs to help teens all over Franklin County who are in crisis situations, who are homeless or runaways. NetCare 614-276-CARE www.netcareaccess.org Provides twenty-four hour mental health and substance abuse crisis intervention, stabilization and assessment for Franklin County residents. Planned Parenthood of Central Ohio, Inc. 614-224-2235 www.plannedparenthood.org The nation's oldest and largest sexual and reproductive health care organization. America's most trusted name in women's health. Trevor Project 866-4U-TREVOR www.thetrevorproject.org Determined to end suicide among LGBT youth by including our nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline.
ADJOURN | JEANNETTE BIRKHOFF
OUR RELATIONSHIPS with our pets, or as my deceased wife Jeanne called them “the beasts”, is very symbiotic. We learn as much from them as they learn from us. I know I have learned several spiritual lessons from my dogs over the years. Many of us believe that true ministry comes to us from our real life so I will share two spiritual lessons I have learned from two of my beloved dogs. It may help to know that my preferred spiritual practice is a Quaker/Pagan fusion. Quakers do not have a dictatorial religious doctrine that is handed down weekly from a pulpit or from a sacred book. While it is impossible to speak for all Quakers, as we have such varied beliefs and practices, most believe that the Divine speaks to us, as individuals. I believe that the Divine speaks to each with a particular “leading” or a message meant only for that one person. I believe this is the flaw with preaching. While sharing a leading from the Divine is called ministry, it would be a mistake for anyone to follow my path as the Divine has it laid for me and for me only.
it stops him from running wildly around the house looking for an escape route and allows him to settle down with his head on my lap. When a recent powerful storm swept through Columbus with straight line winds of up to 70 MPH, I was at work, with the dogs at home. The storm caused part of a tree to hit my roof before landing in the neighbor’s yard, the transformer on the corner to blow up, and lawn furniture to slam against the house. When I arrived home, I found the dogs were all OK, but needed hugs and reassurance. Then I noticed that Sampson had taken his thundershirt into his crate. Smart boy. He knew that was part of the solution to his fear, but he lacked the ability to put it on himself. In my meditation, I thought about this in spiritual seeking terms. Sometimes we do know what we need to do, sometimes we do have the tools, but we need help to put it all together. We need a “Divine Opposable Thumb” to help us put our solutions in place and set us on the right path. We need to learn when to ask for help and then how to graciously accept help when she offers.
The first lesson is from my older lady dog Gabby who has since joined her other mother on the other side. Gabby used to pull on the lead while walking. Pulling on the lead is bad manners, as well as, dangerous. One way you train a pup not to pull is to put a pile of yummy treats on the floor, put her on the lead, show her the treats and walk her back 10 feet. Now patience. Gabby pulled and pulled. I waited and waited. Eventually, the lead goes slack and you walk the pup to the jackpot with much praising. Then you repeat the process. Eventually Gabby learned that she got what she wanted by walking beside me, not in front. This process helped me to realize that in many ways, I am, spiritually speaking, a bad dog. I want to tell the Divine how I want it, where I want to go, and how I want things to turn out instead of waiting for Divine guidance and leading. This training exercise with Gabby taught me to wait upon the Divine and on her lead follow or walk beside her where she would lead me. My second lesson is more recent and came from my big Mastiff mix pup named Sampson. In spite of being a big black dog with an imposing growl and frightening bark, he is quite a cream puff. He is terrified of thunder, lightning, fireworks, and other big noises. We live near Crew Stadium and the Ohio State Fairgrounds so we get our share of fireworks. Poor Sampson has been wearing a “thundershirt” for weeks now. A thundershirt compresses the dog and gives him a feeling of security. For Sampson
Jeannette Birkhoff is a co-founder of Equality Ohio, a Member (clerk) of North Columbus Friends Meeting (Quakers), and a local artist. She is also known to some as the “pie lady” for her creative lobbying to get DOMA overturned by delivering homemade apple pies every hour on the hour to Ohio lawmakers.
PHOTO | AMY TANNENBAUM
Published on Jul 29, 2013
Quorum Columbus Magazine is a community-minded, collaborative publication reflecting the diverse scope of the LGBTQA experience in Quorum Co...