Four The Highlander and the Devil. A few centuries ago a young Highlander called Tom Campbell left his home in Wester Ross to become a sailor as many of his kinsmen did in those days. oining a ship in llapool, Campbell travelled far and wide before returning home to Wigtown where, falling in love with a local girl, he decided to settle down and raise a family. Tom took a ob with the local blacksmith and soon, he and his wife had three lovely bairns. ow Tom, being a Highlander and all, was fond of the usige beatha and would often take in a nip or two when he had finished a hard day of work. And hard work it was, for the town had become besieged by a plague and Tom was one of the few able bodied men left who hadn t succumbed to the sickness. ollowing a late shift Tom stopped at the local tavern and purchased a bottle of the finest whisky he could afford, in fear that he would have to spend more time at home should the plague worsen. Before he left he held a toast saying: The plague is devil s work right enough But he ll not get the better of me On his way home, the way was dark and only the light of the full moon gave him any bearing. Suddenly, he heard a coarse laugh and turned to find himself facing what he had at first mistook for a Highland coo but in fact turned out to be the devil himself. Tom I hear you have been having a laugh at my expense ow it is time to pay. He let out a huge roar, intended to cow the young man. However, he had mis udged the Highlander. ch it s you, Tom said, I expected more to be honest. Will you take a drink With that Tom pulled from his coat his fine bottle of whisky and offered it to the Devil. Tom didn’t know what sort of spirit the devil was used to but the young Highlander could tell he d never drank anything like what he was currently tasting. Before Tom knew the devil had sunk nearly half the bottle. Save some for me Tom cried and took back the bottle to sip some of the whisky himself. The devil staggered slightly and Tom thought to himself that the devil was clearly not used to imbibing the good stuff. Well now, boomed the devil We will fight for your soul by the code of the cothrom na feinne, the fair play of the ianna. By this he meant the ancient Highland code of fair combat. Tom nodded and the devil continued, “If I win, your soul will be mine. And if I win Tom asked, to which the devil smiled, confident that the Highlander would lose. nlikely, but name your prize. Tom continued, If I win, you will remove the plague and leave the people of this area alone. The devil agreed and the two squared up to wrestle.
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Tom had a few inches on his nefarious opponent but the devil had the greater bulk. The two wrestled for hours and Tom took strength from the sips of whisky he had consumed, while the devil seemed to be struggling with the effects of drinking so much of the powerful spirit. Finally, as the dawn s light began to shine and the two wrestled on the beach, the devil s foot slipped and Tom tossed him onto his back. The Highlander let out a loud whoop of celebration and the devil cursed before disappearing. Exhausted, Tom slumped to the ground and, taking a final swig from his bottle, he passed out. He was awoken hours later by the local priest who had been searching for him with Tom s wife. The priest tried to raise him as his wife approached. This is a double boon indeed, the priest cried, for we have found your husband ouble boon Tom asked groggily, as his wife hugged him. The plague, my dear man, it lifted this morning, the people are no longer sick Though none believed him, Tom knew that, with the help of the uisge beatha, he had bested the devil that night and saved the people of Wigtown. Source: Stuart
cHardy
Five A fateful meeting on Islay. An unnamed ileach resident of Islay who had been known to make whisky for years, had become tired of avoiding the gaugers excise men and decided to give up his life of illicit distilling. The man carried out his distilling in the hills which abound the Glen Road on the south east side of the island. His hideout was also a cave right in the heart of the hills from whence he carried his whisky and sold it to local buyers on the quiet. ne day he took the last lot of whisky which was in a hidden keg under his arm, crossed through the hills and was stepping onto the road when he was apprehended. The carriage had come on him unaware and he had no chance to run and hide, so he decided to brazen it out. He knew an excise officer when he saw one and went boldly forward to meet him. The officer, clearly surprised to see him, asked him where he was going and why he was carrying a keg of whisky under his arm The man replied that a few years ago he made his own whisky but since the new distilling laws came to force, the time had come for him to destroy his still and do away with the whisky he had in hand. I am now, he says, on my way to the village of Bowmore to hand over this keg to the Excise fficer and to inform him that I shall never make any more whisky again. The officer congratulated him on his honesty and informed him that indeed he was the Excise fficer from Bowmore. The Ileach put on an act of
surprise and was going to hand over the keg with great reluctance when the following words stopped him. Well, my honest man, you have said that you are going to Bowmore. Would you kindly go to my house and deliver that keg to my wife and put it under the bed beside the other one I have there. He received a tip and kindly gesture from the officer, so off he went to Bowmore and sold the keg of whisky to a buyer he knew well. ext he went to the Excise house where he knocked at the door and humbly told the good lady that he met her husband on the road and that he told him to collect the keg of whisky for him that was upstairs under the bed. y good man, come in and go upstairs, for the keg will be too heavy for me to handle. He went upstairs, collected the keg and was warmly thanked by the good lady who graciously handed him a tip for all his trouble. isbelieving of his luck, he promptly sold the keg of whisky and disappeared into the hills where he came from. f course, the exciseman tried to trace him but he was nowhere to be found. Source: The Islay blog Six Being late for one’s own funeral. In Scotland, it is customary for a fair amount of whisky to be consumed at a funeral, which often leads to quite spirited services. Indeed, the custom has even led to the saying ‘A Scottish funeral is often merrier than an English wedding. In the years before motorised transport, the recently deceased would be carried from their homes to the local kirk, and funerals would often involve the entire community, who would share drams and stories of the recently departed as the coffin was carried along on its fateful ourney. ne such funeral was that of iss essy Colquhoun of Angus. The community had gathered to see her off and the men had raised her coffin to carry her to the kirkyard. ed by her brother Jamie, the men set off on the four mile journey to the kirk. In those days, it was customary for the men to stop at each inn they passed to toast the deceased and to take a rest before resuming the ourney. At each stop the coffin would be laid upon ecker stanes, flat stones designed for ust such a ob. The funeral party set off at just after noon and made a stop at each of the three inns on the way to the kirk. Arriving at the kirkyard and now nearing sunset, amie apologised to Auld Tam the gravedigger for being late, swaying slightly as he did so. Auld Tam nodded before saying: That s aw very well but where s iss essy amie turned to look at the party, which by now had swelled to almost a hundred strong, only to realise they d left the coffin at the last inn. Six of the youngest and soberest boys were dispatched with haste to retrieve her. It is from this story that many believe the phrase being late for one s own funeral arose. Source: Stuart cHardy R|W
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