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QUB LGBT SEPTEMBER 2012

FRES HERS ’ ISSU E

W

HA T CR S AI TH C? E

ISSUE 3

YOUR NEW LGBT SOCIETY! *fangirl screaming* QUB LGBT has exploded onto the Freshers scene ready for its unveiling and not to mention its launch party (more on that later!). In this special Freshers’ edition of What’s the Craic? we reveal the brand new society, updates on Equal Marriage NI and its campaign to Stormont, a review of the Born This Way Ball and the shiny new membership cards and amazing perks all members will be getting when they sign up!

Remember: Come see us at the Freshers Fair @ QUBSU 10am-6pm on Thursday 27th September! QUB LGBT Society is proudly sponsored by:

:

@qublgbt QubLgbtSociety

Spiral Hosting

Vsion Media

Taboo

Hosting & Servers

Web Design

QUBSU

www.qublgbt.com lgbt@qub.ac.uk


Your new membership card!

Membership Perks BOOJUM BOOJUM are giving you a free burrito when you sign up to the society! So be sure to get your voucher and get eating!

CLEMENTS & HOPE Clements in the SU, MBC and PEC as well as H.O.P.E Cafe in McClay Library are giving a massive 25% off all hot beverages with your LGBT society membership card!

The fabulous new QUB LGBT has arrived! This year we have launched our new society with exciting new membership cards! We have teamed up with local businesses who have kindly offered deals for you! Make sure to get yours! Check out the great offers available to you exclusively as a QUB LGBT Society Member!

Many more exciting things to come! We aren’t done yet! We have our website which although is functional and almost finished, still needs to be perfected! So keep tuned for the amazing things coming to that including a breakdown of every event and campaign

we are running on Google Calendars for you convenience so you can subscribe to it and get alerts every time an event gets closer!

EL DIVINO - SWAGGER MONDAYS

We also are finalising some amazing events and campaigns including Equal Marriage Campaign, mental sexual health and homophobia.

ZEST give you an impressive 15% off selected treatments in their clinic! Get the card and get booking your next treatment!

Keep up to date with What’s the Craic? and your LGBT society on the website, Facebook or twitter and be sure to sign up to get your amazing membership card for 2012/13! Our Launch Party hits the scene on the 10th of October in conjuction with Vsion Media, Spiral Hosting and Taboo! Check our website for more details!

The biggest night of the week are giving you discounted entry of £3 every Monday night!

ZEST BEAUTY CLINIC

RAINBOW The newest gay venue in Belfast is giving you £3 Cosmopolitan cocktails Sunday-Thursday! Show your inner Carrie!

BIRDCAGE Get your Birdcage Passport from Birdcage Restaurant in Stranmillis, get your 6 stamps and get your next lunch free!

Watch out for any new discounts during the year! We’ll keep you posted!


Agony Aunt Answers... Dear Agony Aunt,

even do the Gay Meerkat thing anymore when in the

I needs me some help!

Kremlin (You know the one I’m talking about – when all the boys go up on their tiptoes, stretch their necks and

In the words of my best friend who some people may,

look around to see who is looking at them).

for want of a better word, refer to as my ‘Faghag’, I am a “gAySexual” – nope, my finger didn’t slip on the

Yes, I may have been using my accent when in Oz to

Caps Lock there. She believes that I am a gay who is

shoot above my weight and as a result have been

asexual, which she feels is LGBT-sacrilege and causes

spoiled to the max by Toned Surfers, Brown Eyed

Cher, Kylie and Liza to weep with sadness.

Italians and the Beautifully Bearded Greeks but surely I can reverse this sickness and learn to like the Beaus of

Since returning from Australia I find that I’ve no

Belfast again. Any suggestions?

attraction to the fruity-smorgasbord that Belfast offers. My once honed to perfection skill of sneaking a

Ciarán

peek at men has simply disappeared. In fact; I don’t Dear Mr. Ciaran.

back into Belfast boys. Though if you like Beards n’

I apologise as I'm too old to know how to do those

Bears try out BuBu last friday of the month in the

wiggly line things over letters. However, I understand,

Shoe factory. Or if you want younger and more

you acclimatised to a different kind of boy who says

mainstream to the Kremlin you go.

things like HEY DUDE and I believe the term is GNARLY. And to get back into the Belfast swing can

And by the way, it's ok to not be fucking all round you,

take time, see the problem is, Belfast isn't no exotic

maybe your time abroad exhausted your libido and

paradise for alternative men, we've either got goths or

you're now like me and find a Maeve Binchy novel more

queens or spice boys and if you're not into them it can

exciting that getting into a sex swing and having hordes

be quite hard.

of men deflower you repeatedly as you lie there spent as they grunt over the top of you.

So here's what you do. Predrink. Channel your inner Belfast and when someone screams OH MUMMY

As I said, give it time you impatient little slut!

make sure they're ugly to you and then cringe, but not before. It's very important. You just need time to get

Yours sincerely Hildegard.

Get your questions answered in the next issue! Email lgbt@qub.ac.uk with ‘STRESS OF MY LIFE’ in the subject!


Agony Aunt Answers... Dear Agony Aunt,

started making trouble in my neighbourhood I got in one little fight and my mom was aghast

Now....

she said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-fast"

This is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute to tell ya my past about how I became a queer in a town called Bel-fast

...This is horrible! Agony Aunt, I'm new to the city; Wheres the talent? I need a good buck after this ordeal. Stress of my life!

In west Philadelphia I was born and raised

On the playground is where I spent most of my days

James. x

Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool And all grinding some guy right outside of the school When a couple of bitches, they were up to no good

Dear James I'm glad to hear you've recovered from your earlier problem, I hope my advice helped, what I would recommend is wait until the first meeting as all the new students coming to the society will be there and have no idea about your previous problem so they will be more likely to engage in sexual relations, if this doesn't help I charge very affordable rates, let me know. Sincerely Hildegard.

Dear Ladies of the Society, I've noticed I have been only helping the men, I feel I should point out I have a lot of experience in lesbian and bisexual women's problems too so don't be afraid to write in, I promise my advice will help you out. That ex that just won't go away? The girl you like that just won't give you a ‘straight’ answer? I know solutions to all these problems and more. I also crave the attention of women oddly enough... LOOK AT ME! Sincerely Hildegard.

Get your questions answered in the next issue! Email lgbt@qub.ac.uk with ‘STRESS OF MY LIFE’ in the subject!


THE REVIEW by Matthew O’Connor

Lady Gaga escapes from Prison! Alarm clocks that didn’t work, hair that wouldn’t sit still and a lack of dignity all lead to queueing outside the humongous Aviva Stadium in Dublin at 8AM on Saturday 15th September. As people swanned around casually in leotards, feathers, boat hats, penguin onesies, fishnets, denim and homemade dildos, the scene was set for what promised to be a show of epic gaganess. After waiting 8 hours on an all weather rugby pitch sealed and organised by the supposedly ‘extremely expensive’ barriers made of what seemed to be reinforced aluminum foil, we got moving in the direction of the monster pit... Ah but wait, I have been foolish... for those of you who are not familiar with anything gaga here is a jargon buster to keep you right as you will get very confused in the maze of sex, monsters, lubricant and goats...

Little Monsters - an affectionate name for a Lady GaGa fan who is seemingly loving and normal on the outside but turns into a monster and ravages open spaces to conduct learnt-off choreography to their favourite GaGa songs while dressed in homemade, hand-stitched clothing and painted to look like a skeleton or a hooker... Yes i’m serious. They also may spontaneously burst into inconsolable tears. G.O.A.T - Government Owned Alien Territory. Watch the Born This Way full length video for more information... Mother Monster - an affectionate name given by little monsters to Lady GaGa as she loves to look after her fans! She’s Italian after all! Monster Pit - The massive ‘pit’ in the middle of the stage that holds the most dedicated and crazy of little monsters which is surrounded by a runway which Mother Monster frequently walks round and appears on. The dedicated monsters feel close to their mother here...

Attractive topless men and a same sex marriage A ma’haus’ive (see what I did there?) castle screened behind what seemed to be a massive bed sheet greeted us as we ran to our places (much to the detriment of security) at the clearly stationed barriers which seemed more sturdy than the ones in the queue... slightly gutted... As we stood waiting for Mother Monster to

arrive we endured the act of ‘Lady Starlight’ who proceeded to strip masks off her face and stand on stage. She didnt sing... Warm up act? Eh...Then we had The Darkness who in hindsight were quite good but at the time we really just wanted GaGa. Darkness left the stage in their 70’s flares at a bit before 8PM and the stadium was plunged into darkness at 8:01... The most prompt of any performance i’ve ever been to! Space style sounds (whatever they are) emitted from the hundreds of speakers across the stadium as the castle was illuminated in a purple haze. A steady dance beat began as fog covered stage right or the large wooden door from the castle. It became clear - well to the little monsters at least - that it was ‘Highway Unicorn (Road to Love).’ She came out on a mechanical unicorn guarded by women with guns from something out of Star Wars and men carrying flags with G.O.A.T on them (refer to Jargon buster). The males were so attractive I cried... GaGa stopped in front of us on the unicorn just as she started to sing and she was less than a metre away from me... This was the real reason I cried... I know all you ‘straight acting’ gays out there are rolling your eyes and lifting your shirts up to show your abs in front of a gym mirror while the gym is packed (don’t deny it... I saw you) but you cannot speak a word until you have seen her perform live. Only then will I look at your face and not your chiseled pecs... Moving on...


During ‘Americano,’ an acoustic guitar played mexican riffs while two dancers walked out dressed as the bride and groom. Or so it seemed... The ‘Priest’ aka the guitarist peeked at the bride twice and jumped back, while the ‘bride’ pleaded to be married as the music got more intense and thriller movie like. It was all very exciting. Almost forgot to fix my hair after jumping like a maniac to Bloody Mary beforehand! Look! The bride is infact a man! GaGa remained topical and showed that two men cannot be married because of laws... yet they can fall in love regardless of, well, anything! Before she sang ‘Scheiße’ she said “this is the last song of the concert so get up and dance! Jameson has got me through a lot and created most of these lyrics so I thank the Irish but Jameson aren’t getting anything for me saying that they can go f*%^ themselves!” As the stadium was plunged into darkness we stood there not moving... She couldn’t finish on Scheiße?! We watched as hurried mothers and fathers shocked at what they had brought their child to see or disgusted at the fact two guys kissed on the stage ran off... as the drone of a bass beat began... She appeared at the top of the castle in its tower and sang ‘Edge of Glory’ then began to pick people out of the monster pit to join her. Weren’t we raging as we screamed with the little voice we had left to get her to pick us. It felt like an auction and we were simply cattle... and I loved it!

She ended with ‘Marry the Night’ as the lil’ monsters ran and threw Jameson over the people in the Monster Pit as Mother Monster ordered. They all performed the choreography to a shockingly bad standard as I danced my ass off in the clearing of the monster pit. Wasn’t I raging... then they descended into the underground of the runway to go have tea with GaGa... I say to them... BOO YOU WHORE So that was it. The concert was over. I stood in a daze as I was then ushered out under the pretense of getting a taxi back to the hotel. I didn’t want to go. I was meeting her... So I decided to run for it................................. I wish... She had performed to a standard i’d never seen before from ANY artist and I will never forget those 15 hours of my life (I included the queueing) which culminated in sheer creativity and impeccable talent as a singer, songwriter, dancer and above all, artist. She epitomises artistry and will forever be a creator and purveyor of talent and art just like what the little monsters try to achieve. Together we walked out of the Aviva stadium in our spandex and makeshift hats (sex toys to be used later) to our peril...

The End...


Equal Marriage NI on

where these issues can be discussed in a constructive and respectful manner.

its way to Stormont

While the issue of equal marriage has been discussed at many councils across Northern Ireland, and the island of Ireland as a whole, it will be on Monday 1st October when this issue has its most high-profile debate, in the Northern Ireland Assembly. Submitted by Green Party Leader, Steven Agnew MLA (North Down) and supported by Sinn Fein MLAs Caitriona Ruane (South Down) and Bronwyn McGahan (Fermanagh/ South Tyrone), the motion calls on the Minister of Finance and Personnel to bring forward legislation to guarantee that all loving couples can have their relationships recognised equally without discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation or gender identity.

by Gavin Boyd Communications Officer - Equal Marriage NI

The updated campaign is on its way to becoming one of the biggest campaigns for equal marriage yet. Equal marriage may be coming to other parts of the UK before Northern Ireland but the campaign to ensure that all couples have the same right to marry from Belfast to Belleek is well underway. On the 5th September, equality activists and community members met in the Black Box in Belfast’s Cathedral Quarter to elect and executive committee to run the campaign in consultation with the wider community. The meeting was entirely open to the public and all who attended were granted voting and speaking rights. While 10 members of the committee were elected, more will be coopted by the committee to ensure a gender balance between men and women. John O’Doherty, Director of The Rainbow Project, was elected as Chair of the Equal Marriage NI campaign and will be supported by; two vice-chairs, secretary, treasurer, campaigns and communications officers, a faith representative and a number or ordinary executive members to ensure that a broad and inclusive representation of the community is presented. The Equal Marriage NI campaign is committed to ensuring that all loving couples can access their rights to marriage without discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation or gender identity. The campaign recognises that the particular circumstances of Northern Ireland’s history have created a society where many people feel uncomfortable talking about issues relating to lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender (LGB&T) people and this has not been helped by a real lack of leadership from elected politicians in Northern Ireland. Equal Marriage NI believe that it is now time for the people of Northern Ireland to have a real debate on this issue and we hope that our society has reached a level of maturity

In the run-up to this motion, the Equal Marriage NI campaign will disseminate briefing papers to MLAs from all parties, so that they are aware of the issues and the reasons why many people support marriage equality and we will be urging all MLAs to speak in the debate to that their constituents know where they stand on this issue. We will also be organising a demonstration outside the Assembly on the day of the motion to show support for an open and respectful debate and to encourage all MLAs to stand with their constituents and affirm the right of everyone to marry the person they love. For more information about the campaign, including upcoming events and how to get involved, please like and share the Equal Marriage NI Facebook page and follow us on twitter.

@equalmarriageni /EqualMarriageNI


Stay tuned for the next issue of “What’s the Craic?” Coming soon! With an all new society gossip section! Who will be the talk of the society next?!

What's the craic - Issue 3  

Third issue of QUB LGBT's newsletter