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May 12-25 . 2012

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qnotes

May 12-25 . 2012


inside May 12-25, 2012 Vol 27 No 01

news & features

  6 News Notes: Regional Briefs 13 In Memoriam: Randy Hylton 15 411 on the DNC

a&e / life&style

9 8

12 6

  5   8   9 10 12 16 17 19 20 22 22 23

20 Questions Carolina Living: Tips for beautiful skin care Carolina Living: Prepare your home for Summer weather Drag Rag Runway ignites with hot Summer style Out in the Stars Tell Trinity On the Map On Being a Gay Parent Fabulance Jane’s World Q events calendar

opinions & views   4 Editor’s Note   4 General Gayety 17 QPoll

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contributors this issue

O’Neale Atkinson, Paige Braddock, Rosendo Brown, Kevin Grooms/Miss Della, Charlene   Lichtenstein, Lainey Millen, Leslie Robinson,   StatePoint Media, David Stout, Daniel Stroupe, Trinity, Brett Webb-Mitchell

front page Graphic Design by Lainey Millen

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Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2012 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

May 12-25 . 2012

qnotes




VIEWS

editor’s note by o’neale atkinson oneale@goqnotes.com

Opinions are like, well, you know Reactions against marriage equality more intense as vote draws near

VIEWS

I find myself in a frustrating situation when putting together my thoughts for this issue. While you won’t pick up this copy until May 12 at the earliest, the reality is that the paper will go to print on May 7. I want to write about the results of the vote on May 8, I just can’t foresee the future no matter how hard I try. Of course, there is always our website and I am confident I will have an article posted as soon as we get the results, but I really hoped to have an incredible story of victory over Amendment One as a lead-in for qnotes 26th production year. Regardless of the result, I would like to discuss some of the recent actions I have seen in favor of the amendment that have really just baffled me. While I oppose the amendment, I do respect the fact that others can have opinions contrary to mine. I can’t understand why someone would support such an amendment, but just because I don’t understand their rationale doesn’t mean that they aren’t entitled to their belief. As we have drawn closer to the vote, there have been several rather ridicu-

general gayety by leslie robinson qnotes contributor

A familiar issue needs to vent

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I’m Gay Marriage and I’m mad. Those alleged experts over at the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press — and what a stupidly long name that is — conducted a national survey to find out which issues matter most to voters and I’m certain the pollsters were drunk and the respondents were house pets. C’mon, what other explanation can there be for putting me, Gay Marriage, at the bottom of the list? The bottom, for chrissakes. Oh, I get it that the Economy takes the top spot, followed by Jobs. Those show-offs. Freakin’ 86 percent of voters rated the Economy as “very important” to their vote. Don’t they know what really counts? I’m Gay Marriage, with the power to bring down civili-



lous responses from people in favor of the amendment, most notably in outrage to yard signs. Some of these are honestly pretty funny to me, some sad and one action particularly scares the hell out of me. First, the funny (or at least funny to me). Recently someone placed an anti-Amendment One yard sign in a young man’s yard. Thanks to the power of the internet, the infuriated supporter of Amendment One was able to post a YouTube video of him shooting the sign! I must admit that if someone were to put a sign in my yard without asking, whether I agree or disagree with its sentiment, I would be annoyed. I would definitely remove and trash the sign so to a degree I can understand where this guy was coming from. Would I shoot it and post a YouTube video of it? Probably not. On that same note there has now been a short clip going around the internet of someone urinating on an anti-Amendment One sign with the caption “I vote for the Bible”below the video. Really!? Oh, I am sure Jesus is so proud.

zation! Prioritize, people! And, such pretenders are next on the list. The Budget Deficit, Healthcare, Education, Medicare, Energy, Taxes. Amateurs, one and all. Taxes earned a 61 percent rating, so you’d think I’d be showing up at least in this range, but nooooo. Instead, it’s a different fear that gets the love: 59 percent of these dolts decided Terrorism is “very important” to their vote. What does Terrorism have that I don’t? The people of Pew — so aptly named — conducted this so-called survey from April 4 through April 15. It’s crystal clear to me that a bunch of those surveyed had given up thinking for Lent. The impossibly boring Foreign Policy collected a 52 percent rating, with the

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May 12-25 . 2012

In both of these instances no one is harmed, well the gun one could have ended badly I guess, but, thankfully, not. I just can’t for the life of me see how either shooting or urinating on a piece of cardboard gets your point across in an effective manner. As a side note, videos like these just make me so thankful for the internet and ponder what sort of shenanigans we missed out on prior to resources like YouTube. ‘ On a slightly more serious note, I have received several phone calls and emails from people who have mentioned to me that their anti-Amendment One yard signs have been stolen right out of their lawns or even defaced. The demand for yard signs has been so high that in most places they have been near impossible to get as locations run out of them quickly. So, the fact that some people are stealing signs out of other people’s yards simply because they disagree with an opinion is just disappointing and, honestly, rather pointless in my opinion. I wonder, does the person stealing the sign think that they will cause someone to change their vote because of this? Maybe the person they stole from will forget to vote now that they don’t have a sign in their yard? Seriously, besides being a total ass, what is the point in this action? Now for what I consider to just be absolutely terrifying; Sean Harris, a pastor of Berean Baptist Church in Fayetteville, recently encouraged his congregation to get physically violent with children showing signs of homo-

sexuality. During church, this man goes on at length encouraging parents to essentially beat the gay out of their children. The hate in his voice alone is almost as terrifying as the words. Scarier still is the laughter you can hear in the background as he gives his sermon. Regardless of your views on same-sex marriage, a grown man encouraging individuals to “crack the wrists” of their children and to “give them a punch” when they need to be brought back in line is simply horrible. At least, windbags like Pastor Patrick L. Wooden just go around saying asinine things like all gay men need to wear diapers or that lesbians need to find a real man to rock their world. Regardless of how you feel about an issue such as Amendment One, you should have the ability to express your opinion so long as your expression does not harm another. Taking your anger out on cardboard signs is ultimately pointless, if sometimes hilarious. You aren’t going to stop someone from voting the way they believe to be right by doing this and you don’t come off looking any better for doing so. Spreading ideologies of hate and violence however, especially someone who is a leader of an organization such as a church, is absolutely toxic for society. According to The Fayetteville Observer, Harris states that he was joking in his sermon and would never ever advocate for parents to hit children for being gay — but, he did and I don’t believe there was in humor in his message. : :

Environment just behind. Please, the Environment. Like whether the Earth can continue to sustain life could possibly matter as much as whether two men can register at Crate & Barrel. Iran is next on the appalling list, then Gun Control and Afghanistan. Looks to me like Afghanistan is getting the shaft, too, seeing as the U.S. is fighting a war there. I wish we could join forces — Gay Marriage in Afghanistan — and double our numbers. You’re just dying to know what my score is, aren’t you? To see how low I’ve sunk? Well, Immigration comes in at 42 percent, then Abortion at 39 percent and Birth Control at 34 percent. And. Then. There’s. Me. I, Gay Marriage, bring up the rear at 28 percent. Less than 30 percent of voters consider me critical to their vote. I could die for the shame. Once I was in the big-time. I’m talking a mere two presidential elections ago. In 2004, Karl Rove made me a star. I firmly believe I gave George W. Bush Ohio, which won him re-election.

Now? Now Bush’s wife says gays should be able to marry and his campaign manager has come out! How can a wedge issue work under these conditions? Can’t give up. Must regroup. Abortion and Birth Control are down here in the cellar with me. The economic situation has everyone’s attention. If it turns around, I bet the hot-button social issues will rise again in the polls. At least past Foreign Policy. Sheesh. But the Pew-y president said I don’t energize the conservative base like I used to. Some older Americans have even changed their minds about me. Turncoats! Poltroons! Sissies! Maybe I really have lost my mojo. I’m deeply depressed. Abortion and Birth Control and I should join a therapy group for social issues whose hot buttons have cooled. How else can I, Gay Marriage, recover my self-esteem? I could fight back — threaten that in addition to bestiality, I’ll lead to mandatory sex with unicorns — but my heart isn’t in it. I have to face it. I’m not the issue I was. I’m impotent. And, there ain’t no Viagra for me. : : info:

lesarobinson@gmail.com . generalgayety.com


LIFE

20 Questions L.A. Berlyn, Charlotte by David Stout :: david@goqnotes.com

A recent Queen City transplant, L.A. Berlyn has thrust himself upon the Charlotte scene to become the burg’s self-proclaimed “Digital Media Darling.” The style guru works in the “business of pretty,” as a wardrobe stylist, makeup artist and writer of the popular humor blog, The Handsome Savage. The blog covers topics ranging from online dating to Charlotte nudist groups to colonic irrigation. Berlyn says he hopes to one day become “the first Puerto Rican, Jewish, Lesbian President of the United States,” but admits he will settle for just having a nice dinner with a nice guy. Find out more about this quirky fellow at geewhizzbang.com… or simply read this edition of 20 Questions. What popular male fashion trend makes you cringe? I have a personal vendetta against leggings, especially when men wear them. I’m not sure when this trend caught on, but I’ve been spying all sorts of men donning what are essentially pantyhose underneath their shorts. Every time I catch a glimpse of one of these guys, I can’t help but think of Joe Namath in that pantyhose ad. That is not a good look for anyone. Have you ever shopped at Piggly Wiggly? I’ve never shopped at a Piggly Wiggly, but growing up in a small town in Virginia, I did all my grocery shopping at the Winn-Dixie store. That’s all we had before Walmart came along. They both have cute names, so they are the same thing, right?

Meeting Date: Program:

Time: Cost: Reservations:

Can you roll your R’s Spanish language style (i.e., burrrrro)? Why yes I can. I can also do other nifty things with my tongue like tying cherry stems and and finishing a Tootsie Pop in 184 licks (yes, I’ve counted). If you were sick, would you rather take two large horse pills, swallow a tablespoon of bad-tasting liquid or get a shot in the ass? I’ve tried medicine that was described as a “palatable, orange flavored vehicle.” It was neither palatable, orange flavored nor a car — so, that’s out of the question. As much as I like flashing my butt, needles go nowhere near it, which is probably why I’ve never tried steroids. Horse pills for the win. I’d rather just swallow. Have you ever ridden a bicycle built for two? Yes, I have. I went on a date with a guy who thought it would be cute. I tried to be a good sport during the whole thing, but eventually gave up peddling and let him do all the work. What can I say? I don’t even buy deodorant with “sport” or “active” in its name. I’m just not that type of guy. What’s your favorite Kool-Aid flavor? It would have to be purple. I know it’s supposed to be grape, but we all know it just tastes like purple. Which family would you rather be part of: The Addams Family, The Munsters or The Kardashians? The Addams Family, hands down. Creepy and kooky are two adjectives that sum me up. Plus, the Addams family was the most sincere, loving family portrayed on TV. Sure, they weren’t the norm, but look at how close and supportive they were. Are you double jointed anywhere? I am quite, well, bendy. When other kids dreamed of being doctors and lawyers, I wanted to be a contortionist. I can put my legs behind my head. I can do this disgusting thing where I pop my shoulders out of place. I can also fold myself up and squeeze myself into really tight places. If you could shapeshift into any one animal form, which would it be? You know, I’d like to shapeshift into a bird. Who wouldn’t want to just take off and fly around, pooping on cars and people you’re not that fond of?

see 20 Questions on 22

Tuesday, June 19, 2012 Scott Bishop’s Path to the DNC Host Committee LGBT Community Center of Charlotte Want to maximize your exposure/involvement at the 2012 DNC? Scott Bishop, longtime Charlotte LGBT activist, HRC NC Board Member/Honoree, and MeckPAC Chair gives us the inside scoop on the upcoming Convention as he discusses his journey from bank employee to Project Management Management. 820 Hamilton St. @ the NC Music Factory 5:30-8 p.m. $20 admission. Includes appetizer, dinner, dessert, tea. email businessguild@yahoo.com or reserve/pay in advance online on www.charlottebusinessguild.org

www.charlottebusinessguild.org May 12-25 . 2012

qnotes




BRIEFS

news notes:

from the carolinas, nation and world compiled by Lainey Millen :: lainey@goqnotes.com David Stout :: david@goqnotes.com | O’Neale Atkinson :: oneale@goqnotes.com

Griffin to hit Tar Heel State

Charlotte OOTT to complete season

DURHAM — Kathy Griffin, a two-time Emmy winner and best selling author, will perform at the Durham Performing Arts Center (DPAC) on Aug. 10 as a part of the North Carolina Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. The Carolina Theatre and DPAC are partnering on this event. Griffin is a quick-fire standup comedian. She has performed on television, on the stage and elsewhere. She was the recipient of GLAAD’s 2009 Vanguard Award and obtained Lifetime Honoree status with The Trevor Project at their 2011 gala. Of course, these are only a sampling of the ways in which she has been acknowledged for her time and talents over the years. “We are thrilled to add Kathy Griffin to our unmatched 2012 comedy lineup. I look forward to hours of laughs as Kathy shares her uncensored take on the latest in pop news to politics. Kathy Griffin will be the perfect kick-off to the annual North Carolina Gay and Lesbian Film Festival hosted in downtown Durham. Along with our friends at the Carolina Theatre, we look forward to presenting superstar entertainment that will bring thousands of visitors to our community this summer,” said DPAC’s Marketing Director of Concerts and Comedy Emily Dahl. Carolina Theatre President and CEO Bob Nocek shared that the festival has been extended to 10 days to broaden its venue spaces through partnerships. Tickets go on sale on May 21 at 10 a.m. and may be purchased online at dpacnc.com or carolinatheatre.org; at the DPAC ticket center, 123 Vivian St.; and through Ticketmaster at Crabtree Valley Mall, ticketmaster.com or 800-745-3000. VIP passes for the film festival will include a premium seat to Kathy Griffin at DPAC. The film festival’s VIP passes went on sale on May 4 through the Carolina Theatre Box Office. Availability is limited. Friends of DPAC members may place orders to the show on May 17. Joining the Friends of DPAC is free with registration at DPACnc.com/friendofdpac. — L.M.



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May 12-25 . 2012

CHARLOTTE — On May 31 the Blumenthal Performing Arts Center will hold a “La Cage Aux Folles” post-show reception at 10 p.m. as part of its Out on the Town LGBT social club activities and end-of-season celebration. Enjoy free food and drinks. Cast and crew members will be invited to participate. It is sponsoring the event in partnership with RAIN. George Hamilton and Christopher Sieber star in this iconic show. Members can save $10 on the performance that evening. To join, email name, email address and snailmail address to outonthetown@ ncpbac.org. A portion of the sale of tickets goes to support the work of RAIN. Contributions are: Balcony/$5, orchestra and grand tier/$15. At press time, the location was still being determined. For more information, visit   blumenthalarts.org. — L.M.

Triad School highlighted

GREENSBORO — The American Hebrew Academy, 4334 Hobbs Rd., was recently earmarked as one of 11 Jewish educational institutions nationally recognized in a growing number of schools who are starting gaystraight alliances. Once uncommon, these support groups are becoming more commonplace. The Jewish Daily Forward reported that “acceptance is not universal within the Jewish educational world.” It also said that none of the schools identified were Orthodox (most observant of the branches in Judaism) or part of the Schechter Day School Network (a Conservative Movement affiliate). Finding acceptance among Orthodox schools is challenging and most have diversity clubs that omit gay as part of their organizational structure. The Academy is a boarding school that focuses on college preparation. In December 2011, it collected people and resources to participate in Triad Health Project’s Winter Walk for AIDS. On Jan. 29 the alliance posted a YouTube video in which participants took a stand against bullying. — L.M.

Regional Barriers knocked down

NEW YORK — The LGBT Cancer Network, which advocates for health equality, released news that a number of centers for screenings are now available throughout the Carolinas. Four barriers that had plagued the LGBT community have been removed. They were low rates of health insurance coverage; feared discrimination; previous negative experiences; and provider ignorance about LGBT health needs, the Network said. There are now over 400 LGBT-friendly

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facilities across the nation that offer mammograms, cervical paps, colonoscopies, anal paps and prostate screenings. Some do not even require insurance to utilize the services. Additionally, matching of gender to that on existing insurance cards is not necessary. The Network says the centers were selected “because of their commitment to offering safe, affordable, welcoming care to all LGBT people.” In North Carolina, once may visit the following list of centers to obtain screenings: Avance Family Care, 6402 McCrimmon Pkwy., Suite 1000, Morrisville, avancecare.com; Community Family Practice, 260 Merrimon Ave., Asheville, communityfamilyonline.com; Duke Family Medicine, 6020 Fayetteville Rd., Durham,   dukehealth.org; Duke OB/GYN, 5324 McFarland Dr., Durham, dukehealth.org; Duke Primary Care - Morrisville, 10950 Chapel Hill Rd., Morrisville, dukehealth.org; Eastern Carolina University Brody School of Medicine, 600 Moye Blvd., Greenville, ecu.edu/cs-dhs/fammed; Leesville Primary Care, 12341 Strickland Rd., Suite 102, Raleigh, avancecare.com; Northwest Family Physicians, 7920 Moores Chapel Rd., Charlotte, northwestfamily.com; Triangle Family Care, 106-A Ridgeview Dr., Cary, trianglefamilycare. com; University of North Carolina Hospital, 101 Manning Dr., Chapel Hill, unchealthcare.org; and Women’s Health Alliance, 4414 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 205, Raleigh, centreobgyn.com. In South Carolina, visit Palmetto Health Women’s Center, 1801 Sunset Dr., Columbia, palmettohealth.org. An online risk assessment is also available. For more information, including recommended physicians, phone numbers and types of screenings, visit cancer-network.org. — L.M.

BOA card swipes for equality

Campus Scene

a recent broadcast. Filling out the celebrity roster is Kit Yan, a nationally-respected LGBT spoken word icon, who will serve as the camp’s official artist-in-residence. On hand will be respected LGBT and civil rights leaders, including Mara Keisling (National Center for Transgender Equality), comedian Kristin Russo (everyoneisgay.com) and blogger Dannielle Owens-Reid, plus more. For more information, visit campuspride. org/camppride. In other news, Campus Pride was featured on Logo-TV’s “Legalize Gay: The Civil Rights Movement of a Generation” during the documentary’s world premiere on May 5. — L.M.

Early birders get more time

National/Global

CHARLOTTE — Bank of America, in partnership with the Human Rights Campaign, has given Visa card holders another way to support equality. Now there’s the BankAmericard Cash Reward Visa credit card which gives owners the ability too earn cash back on every purchase. Use of the card benefits HRC with no added expense to the card holder. Bank of America, based in the Queen City, has consistently been a national corporate sponsor of HRC, netting a 100 percent score on HRC’s Corporate Equality Index. — L.M.

CHARLOTTE — Campus Pride Executive Director Shane Windmeyer announced the deadline extension for early-bird registration for the Camp Pride Summer Leadership Program, slated for July 17-22 at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tenn., to May 30. YouTube’s Zach Wahls will keynote the event where he will receive an honorary Campus Pride Voice & Action National Leadership Award. Also on deck will be NBC’s “Fashion Star” contestant Kara Laricks (pictured). This designer has spoken up for the LGBT community on the show, as well as sharing her sexuality during

Obama backs bullying bills

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Barack Obama has publicly thrown his support behind both the Student NonDiscrimination Act and the Safe Schools Improvement Act. SNDA would prohibit public elementary and secondary schools from discriminating against any student on the basis of actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. SSIA would amend the Elementary and Secondary Education Act to require schools and districts receiving federal funds to specifically ban bullying and harassment on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. Discrimination and bullying against students based on sexual orientation and gender identity

contributes to high dropout rates, absenteeism, adverse health consequences and academic underachievement. Federal and constitutional protections expressly address discrimination on the basis of race, color, national origin, religion, sex and disability, but do not expressly address sexual orientation or gender identity. As a result, students and parents have limited legal recourse to fight such bias. — D.S.

Prison Bureau affirms LGBT workers

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a groundbreaking move, the Federal Bureau of Prisons has announced that every federal prison in the U.S. will appoint an LGBT representative to their longstanding Affirmative Employment Program. The BOP employs approximately 40,000 nationwide, and until now, the LGBT staff did not have a designated representative in the program. With this change, each of the more than 120 BOP facilities is required to hold at least one event per year to educate and inform the staff about LGBT diversity issues. The directive also requires each facility to designate one person as the LGBT Special Emphasis Program Manager, to ensure that equal opportunity issues and concerns affecting LGBT employees are adequately addressed. The announcement comes just one year after Brian Winfield, managing director of Equality Florida, met with a small team of employees at Florida’s Coleman Federal Correctional Complex to plan the first-ever LGBT staff event within the BOP. With the support of senior officials at the correctional

see News Notes on 21

May 12-25 . 2012

qnotes




LIFE

Carolina Living Tips for beautiful summer skin by StatePoint Media

From flowy dresses to oversized sunglasses and strappy sandals — summer is synonymous with chic style. But, are you ready to reveal your skin? Here are three tips that will help ensure a healthy glow all season and all year long. Do it daily: SPF protection Keep wrinkles and discoloration at bay with a sunscreen that offers protection against UVA and UVB rays. “With most sunscreens, an SPF 15 product blocks about 94 percent of UVB rays, an SPF 30 blocks 97 percent of UVB rays and an SPF 45 blocks about 98 percent of rays,” says San Diego-based dermatologist Dr. Jeffrey Benabio. To ensure you’re using the right amount of sunscreen, apply enough to fill a shot glass 30 minutes before heading outside. Remember to reapply SPF every two hours and after swimming or towel-drying the skin.

and maxi dresses because of shaving irritation. Instead, Dr. Benabio suggests Dove Clear Tone Anti-Perspirant/Deodorant, the first and only deodorant in the U.S. designed to reduce the appearance of red and dark marks and even skin tone. This new formula with calendula, sunflower seed extracts and moisturizers, helps accelerate your skin’s natural renewal processes. After using the product for just two weeks, Unilever research reported that nine out of 10 women preferred Dove Clear Tone Anti-Perspirant/Deodorant for more even-looking skin tone. The dermatologist-tested formula not only restores skin’s natural tone, but it provides all of the expected benefits of Dove antiperspirant/deodorants, like 24-hour odor and wetness protection, along with Dove 1/4 moisturizers. The formula is available in two fragrances, along with a clinical protection formula that offers prescription strength wetPhoto Credit: Yumesh Behari Mathur ness protection without a prescription. More via Flickr - Creative Commons information can be found on Dove.com.

Refine your skin “Your skin needs extra care in summer,” says Dr. Benabio. Higher temperatures mean revealing more skin, so make sure your delicate underarms aren’t affected by shaving irritation. You may not realize the effect daily shaving can have on underarms, but clinical data shows it reduces the top layer of skin by 20 percent. As a result, skin loses 50 percent more moisture, leading to dryness and irritation. Thirty-two million women in the U.S. experience underarm red and dark marks due to shaving irritation. This summer, you don’t have to shun your favorite sleeveless tops



qnotes

May 12-25 . 2012

Pamper your feet When the weather is warm, get your feet out of socks and into sandals. Make sure they look great by getting pedicures throughout the season. If it has been a while since your last visit, opt for an electric callus removal treatment. It costs more than standard exfoliation, but is worth the price if you have rough soles. Another tip to get your feet summer-ready is to skip dark polish and opt for the season’s must-have colors, like cheery pinks and sea foam greens. Looking great in summer may seem like a lot of work, but incorporating a few changes to refine your skin can help you look your best. : :

Natural ways to keep your skin healthy this season Our modern lifestyles can take a toll on our skin. Lack of sleep, pollutants, and stress are all contributing factors to signs of aging, dryness, irritation and blotchiness. • Go natural: Sometimes nature provides the most effective skin care solutions. The Dead Sea for example, thrives with life-enhancing ingredients with regenerative properties, and has long been a mecca for wellness-seeking travelers. While a dip in these waters may not be possible for everybody, you can use moisturizers and cosmetics that contain Dead Sea minerals to achieve the same benefits. • Eat right: It’s not only about what you put on your skin that makes a difference. What you eat can make a big impact as well. A diet rich in fruits, vegetables, nuts and fish is not only great for overall health, it also will support glowing healthy skin. Be sure to stock up on Vitamin C, which can tighten skin and prevent wrinkles, and omega-3 fatty acids which can reduce inflammation and dryness. Avoid excessive use of caffeine and alcohol. • Sleep well: The link between a good night’s sleep and healthy skin cannot be overstated. A deep restful sleep is necessary for cell and tissue repair. By getting six to eight hours of shuteye a night, you’ll not only avoid those dreaded bags under the eyes, you’ll reduce stress, improve your immune system and increase your skin’s ability to stay hydrated. Healthy skin is not only beautiful, it also is your greatest protection from the environment. So it’s vital that you take great care of it. : :


LIFE

Carolina Living Prepare your home For Summer weather by StatePoint Media

Cooling your home in summer can be an expensive prospect, especially as temperatures soar well above comfort level. But, don’t sweat it. Experts say you can dramatically lower your energy bills and stay comfortable too. “There are a number of easy adjustments and upgrades, at all price points, that can save you energy and money this Summer,” says Mark Demerly, president of Demerly Architects, and chair of the American Institute of Architects’ Custom Residential Architects Network. To help get you started, Demerly offers some timely advice: Roof venting The roof of your home acts as an absorbent. It’s therefore critical to release heat from your roof so that it doesn’t come into the house instead, says Demerly. Proper insulation will prevent heat from coming in and a sound ventilation system will help get rid of build-up. Start by checking to see if your attic is properly insulated and ventilated. Eave vents, ridge vents and roof venting materials can help push heat out. Consider adding solarpaneled or wind-driven vent pipes, as these will act to pull hot air out of the attic. This upgrade is useful year-round, as insulation helps retain heat as well. Windows Windows are critical to keeping your home cool, Demerly says. Keep them open when temperatures are moderate and there’s low humidity. Natural ventilation is free! Install a window fan facing outward — pushing air out, not in — and open the windows on the opposite side of the house to exhaust the hot air out and pull in cooler outside air. Also, consider using a house fan for the attic, to move more fresh air into your entire home. Reflect heat out of the house for a larger, yet cost-effective measure by installing window films. You might also consider replacing old windows with a modern energy-efficient option made of insulated glass matched with Low-E coatings and argon gasses. Be aware that casement and awning windows minimize air infiltration better than double hung windows.

Photo Credit: © Auremar - Fotolia.com

Basic home maintenance Some additional steps you can take to reduce cooling costs include: Paint your house a lighter, more reflective color. If you have a flat roof, consider a lighter colored membrane covering, such as Thermoplastic PolyOlefin (TPO), to reflect light. Green roofs, which cover and insulate the surface from heat, can also be applied to exiting flat roofs. Install more high-efficient air units or alternative systems, like geothermal systems, to provide cost savings. Plant trees around your home to shade your house in Summer and cool the air. An architect can help you apply many of these cost-saving initiatives. To find one in your area, visit: architectfinder.aia.org/. While improving your home’s energy efficiency will save you money in the long run, avoid spending a fortune on the upgrades. “Remember, tax credits exist for many of these ideas, so be sure to look into them before starting any project,” Demerly adds. A few actions you take now can help you lower your energy costs all summer. Get started today for a cool, comfortable season. : :

May 12-25 . 2012

qnotes




A&E

drag rag by miss della qnotes contributor

Crowns abound from all around!

Greetings, kiddies. Here I am, burning the Ashley Kruiz, Misty Knight, Vicki Valentino and midnight oil again, trying Celeste Holmes. Celeste to get another Rag “in the ended up getting 2nd rune-mail” before I get fired ner-up, Misty Knight was from a volunteer job. Ha! 1st and we know Miss Worse things have hapDana won. pened, so… The night before was Our pic this time is final night for Miss PLUS. of the legendary Dana Kofi won Prelim Interview, Douglas who just won Christian Valentino won Miss Continental Elite Swimsuit, Alexis Zadora over Easter weekend in won Gown and Dramatica Chicago. You may rememwon Talent. Other than ber she is a former Miss these impersonators, othContinental, and won the ers making finals includCarolinas prelim I judged ed: Kara Belle, Janelle, in Miami a while back. Ivy White, Ginger Minj, What a sweet queen! Summer Breeze, Terri Oh, my gosh. She told D’Moore, Kristina Kelly me she had worked here and Tanisha Cassadine. in Charlotte at Scorpio Second runner-up went back in the day and to Ginger Minj, 1st was would love to come back Alexis Zadora and the through. What an honor winner was Tanisha that would be! At the Cassadine of Atlanta, a national contest, Diva and former Miss Scorpio and Miss Sherry Payne tied Miss Unlimited. for Interview, Dana won Elsewhere, we have a Gown and Anjila Cavalier potpourri of pageant tea Dana Douglas of Gainesville, FL, the won Talent. These ladies — like Miss Maryland newest Miss Continental Elite made finals along with Photo Credit: The Studio Orlando LLC America, which Alondra Sancheez won with RU Stephanie Michaels and Miss West Virginia Continental, which foxy Roxxxy Andrews won (yes, another former Miss PLUS going after the skinny bitches!) and RU Aubree Ryan. Savannah Leigh just won Tennessee Continental with RU Regine Phillips, the comeback kid. Tanisha just had her first prelim tonight as I write this as the newest Miss Continental PLUS and Kara Belle dove right in and got the first spot to go back with RU Envy Van Michaels. On the EOY scene, I have the distinct pleasure to announce that the Swiss Miss Mokha Montrese (Charlie Brown’s moniker for her) just won the Niagara Falls Regional title and I smell a possible victory from miles away. Now that would be a national contest for your viewing pleasure, in my opinion. Jessica Dimon is the newest Miss Derby City. Next go ‘round, I promise I will catch up on the local winners of prelims to Miss NC EOY, which is quickly approaching as well. In the last Rag, I forgot to mention the winner of the Georgia U.S.ofA. prelims — a triple header in one night! Macy Alexander and Kiana Lane ran down to visit some girls and Miss Macy came back with an empty LaFemme case — ole girl sold some makeup! Anyway, Kennedy Davenport won Miss GA and her RU was Vanessa DeMornay, the former Miss EOY. Miss GA Newcomer was Aria B. Cassadine with RU Jaeda P. Starr and for the large and lovelies, we have Miss Anjelica “Piggy” Sanchez being crowned Miss GA At-Large. RU went to Dorae Sierra Saunders, who won Interview and Evening Gown. I recently got to vist with Dorae when she did the Easter show at Scorpio along with

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May 12-25 . 2012

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FashionSOUL explodes with fashion, art and culture by Daniel Stroupe :: qnotes contributor

Frock Shop Photo Credit: Adam Frers

Queen City summer fashion is heating up with the third annual FashionSOUL. Coordinated by Joey Hewell, this event was a fantastic mix of local fashion and talent at Amos’ SouthEnd on May 5 benefiting the Humane Society of Charlotte. Featuring all local designers and boutiques, salons and makeup artists — fashion and art came together with performances by Spiral, VESS and DJs serving up great music throughout the show. Drag favorite Angela Lopez lit up the expansive runway/stage combination along performance art pieces by Queen City Theatre Company and Culture Initiative presenting their project “Where It’s At!” The interspersed fashion show featured current collections by local designers and boutiques: Andre Jarred of Styles by Andre, FLOW by Tara Davis and V.Vill by Cigi Guz. I was very pleased to see collections show menswear and I would like to highlight those lines: Enemy to Fashion, Frock Shop, and House of Abbeydale. Enemy to Fashion Spearheaded by Creative Director Caleb Clark, Enemy to Fashion takes repurposed surplus materials (generally militaristic in origin) and creates amazing bags, jackets, shoes and other wares. A recent transplant, this local designer has been designing and sewing since he was a child. He prides himself on a label that is all American made and produced with all salvaged materials from across the country from quilts to military tents, parachutes and straps. This collection offered a fantastic array of composited bags, screen-printed shirts with their signature all-seeing eye logo and a particularly bad-ass studded leather jacket any leather daddy would kill for. For more information, visit enemytofashion.com and pick up a bag from their e-store. Frock Shop Making her first foray into menswear offerings, Caroline Cook of Frock Shop is very excited to cater to a new demographic with her hugely successful Frock Shop concept. Frock Shop is a clothing resale venue in Plaza-Midwood’s MoNA Gallery that hunts down classic and chic clothing from across the country. Her trademark is clothing revival and with this collection she featured retooled footwear and hand dyed

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garments in fantastic spring pastels. You can look out for her first menswear trunk show event in June. For more information, visit frockshoprevival.com or her shop in MoNA at 1200 Central Ave. in Plaza-Midwood. House of Abbeydale David Watkins is seriously the coolest guy in Charlotte fashion. A Queen City native, his primary interest is that men look good. For him, fit and quality is his primary goals in a garment. Newly on his own, the first collection from House of Abbeydale was definitely fitted to a “T” as he used “regular” models of friends and family to show that everyone can look their best. His made-to-measure studio is opening up soon in Plaza-Midwood, but you can schedule an appointment with him at houseofabbeydale.com which will also offer select ready-to-wear items in the future as well. : : Abbeydale Photo Credit: Joey Richey

Enemy to Fashion Photo Credit: Justin Smith Photography

A&E

Runway ignites with hot summer styles

Coming Up in Fashion: Coming next issue will be my summer editorial featuring all the looks to keep you looking cool in the summer heat. • BRIEF A Fete for Fashion: Date Change! Aug. 11 at eXtravaganza. • Charlotte Fashion Week: Sept. 12-15 at the Blake Hotel. • Charlotte SEEN Fashion Week Sept. 17-22 at the NC Music Factory : :


IN MEMORIAM

Randy Hylton (pictured, left, with his partner Vernon Jolly) of Charlotte passed away at his home on Wednesday, April 18, 2012. Randy was born on October 6, 1961, to the late O.J. and Frances Honeycutt Hylton. He was a graduate of Mt. Airy High School, continued his education at Surry Community and King’s Colleges, and pursued his career in commercial arts. He is survived by his life partner, Vernon Jolly of Charlotte; Vernon’s loving family; his adoring dog Koda; a brother and many family members; and countless close friends. He is remembered fondly by all who had the honor of knowing him.

Dag Rag continued from page 10

Brooke Storm Divine and our Miss Scorpio Eden Parque Divine. Dorae is ready for them at the national contest in FL in the fall. And, may I add, Miss Eden was, of course, painted out of her mind and DJ Bonet had stoned two pair of fierce pumps for ole girl. Damn, they were hateful nasty, I’m trying to tell ya. I missed the “RuPaul’s Drag Race” contestant (and winner, from what I’m told) Sharon Needles on her recent trip here to the Queen City, but I understand she’s already been booked again for Halloween and will leave a much richer queen for it. It sure would be good to see Chad Michaels as well, who probably ends up her alternate, right? I have to close with a broken heart and report the passing of a NC diva, Miss Arabia Knight-Addams. Arabia was a former Miss NC U.S.ofA., a former Miss Unlimited and a former National Icon, just to name the bigger ones. She was one of the few girls we have around these parts who was nationally competitive. (I said few, not the only one, okay?). Arabia and I had been buddies forever and I had actually mentioned to her that she should do a guest column for me sometime as I was thinking of passing on the baton. Remember when I mentioned the texts she would send? I still have them all, saved in my phone so I can go back and read her wisdom and the depth of her faith. She was a believer and I had just sent her a text to encourage her in her fight. I never got a response, but I have to believe she read it and smiled. She will be sorely missed, especially by the families she leaves behind — biological (she had a son), gay family (too many to mention), and her pageant folks (NC U.S.ofA. Icon, and Unlimited). I was just with her last August as she relinquished her Unlimited title. Another fallen star, but another risen angel, too. : : info: Drop me a line, OK? TheTeaMissD@yahoo.com

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Ask Dr. C…HIV and healthcare advice

Helping to keep you in the know with up-to-date information by Frederick Cruickshank ~ Medical Director

After many installments of “Ask Dr.C,” this is yet another opportunity to offer our readers information about their sexual health from basic questions to in-depth explanations. We are still receiving many of your questions and are working hard to provide responses to as many questions as possible to provide information for you and the community. The questions have provided us a forum to debunk myths and remove stigma from those living with HIV and AIDS. It is important to educate yourself, get tested, and protect yourself. We appreciate every question we receive! Dr. C looks forward to responding to as many emails as possible. Can getting a STD make a woman infertile? — Sassy from Mooresville This is a good question, Sassy. It is important to think of the long-term side effects associated with sexually transmitted diseases. A small, but

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significant amount of women who are infected with gonorrhea or chlamydia will develop pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). PID is characterized by an infection of the uterus, fallopian tubes or ovaries. This infection usually occurs during a women’s childbearing years when she is the most sexually active. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, PID is the number one preventable cause of infertility in the United States. Of course, there are many ways to protect your sexual health and prevent STD infection. It is important to wear protection, such as a condom EVERY TIME you engage in sexual intercourse. It is also important to keep an open dialogue about your STD and HIV status with every sexual partner that you have. Likewise, it is important to know your partner’s STD and HIV status to protect your own sexual health. What is HPV? Is it a sexually transmitted infection? How do you contract it? — Wayne from Charlotte Thank you for asking this question, Wayne. I think that many people have heard the term “HPV” but don’t know what it is. “HPV” stands for Human Papillomavirus and according to the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC,) it is the most common sexually-transmitted infection in the U.S. A majority of people that have HPV will never know it because often there are no symptoms

and the body is able to clear the virus within two years. However, certain strains of this virus can cause very serious problems including genital warts and cancer. HPV is most commonly linked to cervical cancer, but it is also known to be the cause of penile, rectal, and throat cancer. HPV is transmitted through sexual contact including oral, anal, and vaginal sex. It is important to wear a condom every time you engage in sexual activity. A vaccine has been developed for HPV infection because often condoms do not provide full protection from spreading the virus. This vaccine was initially targeted toward young females before they become sexually active to prevent cervical cancer. More recently, the CDC has also recommended the vaccine for young boys as well. There is no test for HPV in men, so it is important to vaccinate this part of the population in order to prevent the spread of HPV among partners. If you are concerned about HPV, I recommend that you talk to your doctor about your own personal risk factors and how you can actively prevent infection. Does the use of spermicide during sex protect me from HIV infection? — Monique from Huntersville Monique, the answer to your question is “no.” Women who use spermicide for pregnancy prevention should also use a condom every time they engage in sexual intercourse to protect themselves

from STDs and HIV. Spermicides contain a chemical called nonoynol-9 (N-9). This chemical has been shown to kill the HIV virus in certain lab testing. However, when N-9 is inserted into the vagina it can cause irritation. This irritation in the vagina can actually increase a women’s susceptibility to HIV and STDs. So, spermicides can actually make it easier for you to contract HIV. Spermicides can also irritate the lining of the rectum and should not be used for anal sex. Some condoms come prelubricated with spermicides. These condoms will provide greater protection against HIV than not using a condom at all, but I would recommend a lubricated condom without spermicide as the best tool for HIV prevention. Always remember that this is an advice column based on your questions and the best possible knowledge out there. We need your questions to help educate the community, so email them to info@ rosedaleid.com and be sure to include a first name and location. All respondents will remain anonymous. We will try to do our best to answer, educate and inform from your responses to this column. Don’t forget to visit our website at rosedaleid.com and friend us on Facebook for community and clinical updates! — Sponsored Content —


xuu on the DNC Dr. Dan Murrey, the executive director of the Charlotte in 2012 Convention Host Committee, presented a convention update to the Charlotte City Council regarding convention planning and community outreach. Charlotte in 2012’s community outreach was the main theme of Dr. Murrey’s presentation. He discussed the many ways that people can get involved with, and learn more about, the convention — from community service to naming an eaglet at the Carolina Raptor Center to submitting events to Charlotte in 2012’s online community events calendar. Dr. Murrey announced for the first time the results of Charlotte in 2012’s eaglet naming contest. People from across the country voted online on one of four possible names for an eaglet born at the Carolina Raptor Center, one of the 12 sites chosen by Charlotte in 2012 to host official delegate parties during the convention. Tipping their hat to the region, online voters overwhelmingly chose to name the eaglet “Carolina.” Little Carolina (pictured here, with credit to the center) will be soon be released into the wild by the Raptor Center. Charlotte in 2012’s current grassroots fundraising campaign calls for donations of $5 to have their name placed on the official NASCAR stock car for the convention. The stock car will be featured at events leading up to the convention. Civic and community organizations looking to promote local events may submit them for posting on Charlotte in 2012’s community calendar so that visitors and Charlotteans can attend community events that are relevant to the convention. Dr. Murrey concluded his presentation with the ways in which the convention will leave a lasting legacy on the city of Charlotte and how the city leaders may carry Mayor Foxx’s legacy projects forward after the convention. For those interested in being a part of this convention while supporting both the community and the convention at the same time, Dr. Murrey introduced two newly formed non-partisan groups dedicated to these core missions. The DVAs (Donors, Volunteers, Ambassadors) is a women’s group dedicated to building a positive, effective network for engaging Charlotte women in support of the community and the Charlotte in 2012 Convention Host Committee. An energetic group of young professionals called “GO CLT” have formed with a similar mission. The DVA’s and GO CLT invite any person committed to these goals to become members. The DVAs officially launched in April with their first community service project. DVA members volunteered their time to refurbish the Amay James Recreation Center, which had been closed for nearly two years. GO CLT launched with a happy hour membership recruitment event earlier this month. Both groups ask for a $20 donation to the convention and a commitment of 12 hours of community service to become a member. They will both focus their community service projects in the four legacy areas; sustainability, youth employment and civic education, healthy children; healthy families and an inclusive local economy. Dr. Murrey encouraged everyone to sign up for email updates and join the Host Committee’s social networks on Facebook and Twitter to keep informed of convention updates, opportunities and the date of Carolina’s release into the wild. More information on Charlotte in 2012’s community outreach initiatives can be found at charlottein2012.com. : :

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A&E

out in the stars by charlene lichtenstein qnotes contributor

May 12 - 25

There are thrills and chills in the air as Venus retrogrades and trines retrograde Saturn. Expect to fall head over heels for a look and a smile. But, don’t carry your heart in your hand, lover; you are apt to drop it and slip on all the love juice. Which end is up? Will you care? TAURUS (04.21-05.21) Queer Bulls are known to greatly enjoy the finer things in life — when they can afford them and even when they can’t. You are now tempted by items that promise luxury and sensuality. If you find that your current wants exceed your budget, consider temporarily deferring your materialistic desires. You will not get your money’s worth. And, maybe that is good. GEMINI (05.22-06.21) Oh, you charmer you. Pink Twins turn it on and expect the world to fall at their feet while they bask in the adoration. Folks gravitate to you from all corners of the world — or, so it seems. You feel attractive, cheerful and full of zest. Who can possibly resist? You now think that you are quite a hot, steamy number. Be sure that it is not “number two.” CANCER (06.22-07.23) Grab your heart and hold on tight; it will have a tendency to fill with helium and float away into dangerous zones. Romantic, pink Crabs are in love with love now and will not notice how high they are flying. You are attracted to all levels of denizen. Before you float up and bump your head on a pointy crag, keep your expectations realistic. Okay, keep them low…as before. LEO (07.24-08.23) If you feel pulled in two directions it may be because the cosmos is yanking your chain. Proud Lions feel compelled to make

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final decisions on a range of personal issues. But, there is really no rush to decide. In fact, decisions made now may be the wrong ones in the long term. If friends want a piece of you, just lie back and enjoy it. VIRGO (08.24-09.23) If you believe that old yarn that hard work pays off, then there is only you to blame. This time period suggests that if you quietly apply yourself, you will move up in the organization. Well, I say “bull,” queer Virgin. I say that politics and careful maneuvering will get you ahead, not punching longer and longer hours on the clock. Happy hour begins at 5 p.m. See you there. LIBRA (09.24-10.23) Somewhere in this world, there are gay Libras going out partying, getting lost along the way and meeting up with all sorts of suspicious, dangerously fun types. Is this your lucky day or a day that will eventually dredge up all sorts of agita? Keep a watchful eye on tempters who continue to ply you with alcohol. Will you meet a mickey (or minnie) fin? SCORPIO (10.24-11.22) You are sending out sexy vibes wherever you walk. The scent seems to capture the attention of more than a few potential admirers. But, at the end of the day, there is something pulling you home. Will you be followed? Maybe you are ready for some changes in your domestic life. But, don’t take in any strays…just yet. SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.22) How perfect are you as a mate? Well, the trail of dirty laundry that you disperse like breadcrumbs around the house would suggest that you need a bit of handling. Partners and would-be partners are telling you to shape up but right now you could be blind to your filthy habits. Gay Archers have potential. What they really need is a good bath. CAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) Pink Caps look in the mirror and they see a champion of the underclass, a fighter for the rights of the powerless and a helpmate to the exploited. Yeah, right. You now have a foggy view of things around the office. The fact is, comrade, that you occupy a rarified position and can’t really impact change. Stoke the embers later when you really catch fire. AQUARIUS (01.21-02.19) Who is that wild spirit? It must be Aqueerius, dressed to the nines and looking rather…er…interesting. This time spane brings you unbridled fun, (unless you request otherwise…) romance and excessive, outrageous behavior. You are encouraged to change your physical appearance in the hope of attracting a new crowd of party hounds. Woof, woof. PISCES (02.20-03.20) You can usually rely on your intuition to get you through the sticky spots in life. The road is especially foggy now, especially in your home life. You have certain expectations and needs that require action immediately. As the fates take a reality check, Guppies should rely on their good common sense rather than on their sixth sense. Oh, now they really are in trouble! ARIES (03.21-04.20) Wise gay Rams are veritable fonts of knowledge and generously toss their various pearls of wisdom to any swine with a fleeting interest. So much for the glorious (and temporary) feeling it generates. Ultimately, no one will listen to your plaintive yearnings. Good thing too; soon you change your tune. Perhaps, to something with a klezmer beat? : : © 2012 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Entertainment. info: Visit www.TheStarryEye.com for e-greetings, horoscopes and Pride jewelry. My book “HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster is available at bookstores and major booksites.


A&E

tell trinity by trinity qnotes contributor

Provincetown, Russian River, Fort Lauderdale, oh, my!

Dear Trinity, The love of my life and I are starting to make plans for our gay honeymoon. What would you suggest? Thanks, Honeymooners, Nashville, TN

a time can also be torturous! With powerdating you’ll never feel like a loser and, sweetie, you’ll have better odds of winning the big prize! (See how I balance this dilemma in style when you look at my cartoon.)

Dear Honeymooners, Try getting out of bed for a few minutes and opening up your “Dameron Guide,” going on the internet or simply talking to any fabulous, flamboyant travel agent. As a gay couple looking for a romantic getaway, going to places like Provincetown, Mass., Russian River, Calif., or any quaint gay village in America is what my new hus-bear and I would do. And, honey, I’d stay away from those super-single gay adventure spots, they’ll only make you wonder, “Why the hell did I get manipulated, I mean married?” Good luck.

Hey Trinity, All through high school and college I dated the same person. Now we have broken up. As a new bachelor, what should and shouldn’t I be doing? New Bachelor, Peoria, IL Hey New Bachelor, Congratulations on being with the same person all through your youth. While most people spend those years learning about bachelorhood and then meet someone special, you’ve learned it the other way around. So, pumpkin, here are:

Dearest Trinity, My girlfriend wants me to move in with her. Do you think giving up my own apartment to move in with her is a good idea? In Or Out, Daytona Beach, FL

Trinity’s Lifesaving Tips For Being An Excellent Bachelor Or Bachelorette   1. If you can’t decorate, hire someone! Plants, fake or real, and framed pictures   do wonders!   2. Just because you live alone doesn’t mean you should be a slob. Get a housekeeper if you can’t clean up after yourself!   3. If you never cook for yourself, how will you ever learn to cook for someone else?   4. I know you should be loved for exactly who you are, but, please, spend time making yourself attractive whenever you go on a date, i.e., have clean teeth, breath, clothes, shave and smell nice.   5. Living alone can make you selfish over time. Keep checking to see if you’ve become a monster yet!   6. Keeping appointments written neatly in a calendar, always using your cell phone number and keeping an overnight bag   in your car can make dating a hell of a   lot easier.   7. If you’re too lax on paying your bills, stay single! No one dreams of taking on that much responsibility!   8. Having pets will help you learn to be affectionate, compassionate and responsible for others.   9. I know living by yourself is easier than living with someone else, but, eventually, you are going to have to grow up! 10. Lastly, singles and couples both have their troubles, but remember, couples live longer, bring in more money and have an easier future.

Dearest In Or Out, I once started to write a set of tips called “Reasons for moving in with someone, giving up your freedom and having your life be full of problems, I mean pleasures.” But, I could never come up with more than one reason other than money! It’s great to live with the one you love. However, darling, it doesn’t always make things easier emotionally, just financially. Now in all seriousness, take all the risks you can in life, don’t be too practical and remember if it doesn’t work out, you can always start over again! I have, many times! Hello Trinity, I know you write about powerdating — dating many people at one time — but how do you do it? Don’t you get confused or into precarious situations? Powerdoubts, Providence, RI Hello Powerdoubts, Of course, I get into precarious situations. But the alternative of not dating or dating one at

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally. info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com Sponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild 800-637-8696 . www.ptown.org

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What is your favorite summer fashion accessory? See the options and vote: goqnotes.com/to/qpoll May 12-25 . 2012

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on the map nightlife Sunday

Barbeque & Bloody Marys, Bar at 316 free BBQ from 3-6 p.m. Super Sundays with Aiesha Paris, Nickel Bar starts at 8 p.m. House Cast Show, The Scorpio with DJ 4Real. 11:30 p.m. Woodshed Sundays, The Woodshed free dinner buffet served at 6:30 p.m. karaoke, 9 p.m.

Monday

Movie Night, Bar at 316 starts at 9 p.m. Monday Madness, Chasers pool tournament at 11:30 p.m. $25 cash prize and $25 bar tab. Boxing & Monday Night Football, Sidelines Free Pool, The Woodshed all day.

Tuesday

Karaoke with Metro Mike, Bar at 316 starts at 9 p.m. Pool Tournament, Central Station Twisted Trivia, Chasers with Tiffany Storm & Brooklyn Dior.   Showtime at 12:30 a.m. Trivia Tuesdays, Marigny hosted by Roxxy C. Moorecox 7 p.m.

Midwood Madness, Petra’s half-price bottles of wine Karaoke, The Woodshed starts at 9 p.m.

Wednesday

Game Night, Bar at 316 Team Trivia and Line Dancing, Hartigan’s starts at 8 p.m. ’90s music night, Nickel Bar Karaoke, Petra’s hosted by Rachel Houdek. 9 p.m. Wicked and Wild Wednesdays, The Scorpio featuring Tiffany Storm with DJ 4Real. 11 p.m. Pool Tournament, The Woodshed starts at 10:30 p.m.

Thursday

Thursday Night House Party, Bar at 316 Pool Tournament, Central Station Rockin’ Well Thursdays, Chasers with Valerie Rockwell. Show starts at 12:30 a.m. Free HIV Testing, Connections the 2nd Thursday of every month. 8-10 p.m. Karaoke Night, Hartigan’s hosted by Roxxy C. Moorecox. 9 p.m. Team Boystown, Marigny starts at 10 p.m. $10 cover after 11 p.m.   Drink-n-drown. Karaoke Night, The Rainbow In free for members. $5 guests. $6 under 21. Underwear Night, The Woodshed

Friday

House DJ and Dancing, Bar at 316 Free HIV Testing, Connections the 4th Friday of every month. 8-10 p.m. A-List Fridays, Marigny hosted by SugaWalls Entertainment. 10 p.m. Live DJ, Nickel Bar Live Performances, Petra’s Roxy’s Rainbow Review, The Rainbow In starts at 11p.m. Life’s a Drag, The Scorpio with Tiffany Storm. 11:30 p.m.

New Life MCC Worship service every Sunday, 7 p.m. Monthly covered dish dinner and   coffeehouse-style worship service on the first Sunday of every month, 6 p.m. Unity Fellowship Church of Charlotte Worship service every Sunday, 10:45 a.m. Bible 101: second and fourth Sunday of every month, 9 a.m. Wednesday night Bible study and discussion, 7 p.m.

Saturday

House DJ and Dancing, Bar at 316 The Angela Lopez Show, Chasers show starts at 12:30 a.m. Live DJ, Hartigan’s Krewe Saturdays, Marigny Soul Music, Nickel Bar Live Performances, Petra’s Urban Variety Show, The Scorpio with Elaine Davis. Midnight showtime.

Congregations MCC Charlotte Worship service every Sunday, 10:45 a.m. Bible study every Tuesday and Wednesday, 7 p.m.

Community The LGBT Community Center of Charlotte Promoting the diversity, acceptance and visibility of the LGBT community through programming and events. gaycharlotte.com White Rabbit North Carolina’s LGBT everything store. Complete line of Pride merchandise, plus books, magazines, DVDs, T-shirts, underwear and more. info: Don’t see your bar listed here? Submit your regularly scheduled events to editor@goqnotes.com

May 12-25 . 2012

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VIEWS

on being a gay parent by brett webb-mitchell qnotes contributor

Teaching voting

I was riding in the back seat of my parents’ white Buick Le Sabre, as my mom pulled into the large fairgrounds in New Jersey, leaving my dad at a rally for Lyndon B. Johnson for president. In 1964 I was nine years old and to this day I remember the tension in the car between my parents riding in the front seat of the car. My mom was and is a “cloth coat Republican” just like Pat Nixon; a regular “Rockefeller Republican,” even though I hasten to share the information that that branch of the modern GOP is, well, a relic of its collective past. She was going to vote for Sen. Goldwater for president and she was furious with my dad because he was going to vote for Johnson. If memory serves me correctly, that was the last time my mom and dad voted against each other. Since then, my brother and I canceled out my parents’ vote, voting solidly the Democratic Party line.

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Politics was and is part of my family discussion topics at dinnertime when I was growing up, as was religion and other current events of the day. “The McLoughlin Group” and later “Washington Week” were part of our television viewing habit. While my parents usually lean to the Republican right on talking points — with my mom fixed to Fox newscasts — it nonetheless gave my brother and I something to hone our skills as debaters and intellectuals. If we weren’t going to follow their political thinking, then we (like generations of children before us) would have to think logically about where we either agreed or diverged from what our parents thought. Separately, but around the same time, my brother and I came “out” to my parents and told them that we were Democrats. Frankly, this may have upset my mom more than telling her I was gay. Habits and interests in our adult lives are formed early in our childhood. Knowing this, I watched carefully and with tenderness as I worked at an early voting election site in early May. I observed a mom pushing an infant in a stroller with one hand, while holding the hand of a slightly older child with the other hand, and a dad precariously balancing a child on their shoulders into the voting booth. What soon turned out to be the hot ticket item at our table was a round blue teal sticker that said “I Voted Against Amendment 1!”

All morning long, children and adults alike began to wear stickers against Amendment One. For anyone reading this outside of N.C., Amendment One will amend our Constitution declaring that the only legally recognized union is only marriage between one man and one woman. One child put the sticker in the middle of the “S” of his Superman T-shirt, while a little girl simply placed the sticker on her arm, complementing the sticker on the other arm that she got from Trader Joe’s. Moms and dads also wore the stickers on their clothes as they walked into the voting area, showing others that they were going to vote against Amendment One. In this classroom of life, parents were teaching their children that politics matter, can be fun and is important enough that a mom or dad would interrupt one’s daily schedule of fun activities to practice a civil right: the right to vote. Parents are teaching children that voting matters in our collective life and is important for the greater good of the diverse community in which we live. Later in the day, my 19-year-old son texted me, telling me that he voted. My daughter had already voted too. Regardless of the outcome of this election, a lesson has been learned: vote. And, where did they learn to vote? From their parents, who learned in from their parents and grandparents and great-grandparents before us. : :


News Notes continued from page 7

complex, Winfield and the team hosted a Gay Pride Month event last June. — D.S.

EEOC hands down historic win

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Marking a landmark federal workplace rights victory, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission ruled April 24 in a 5-0 decision that an employer who discriminates against a transgender employee or job applicant because of the person’s gender identity is practicing illegal sex discrimination based on Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. This is the first time the EEOC has ruled that anti-transgender discrimination is sex discrimination. The case was brought by the Transgender Law Center on behalf of their client Mia Macy who was denied a job as a ballistics technician at the Walnut Creek, Calif., laboratory of the

federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives due to her transgender status. Mara Keisling, executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality, observed, “This ruling is a major advancement in transgender rights that will provide a significant tool to fight discrimination. It will also help us advocate for still needed protections like the Employment Non-Discrimination Act and the federal contractors executive order.� — D.S.

Gov. fights service members

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) and his Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group, which is defending the so-called Defense of Marriage Act against a federal court challenge, now want to intervene in McLaughlin v. U.S., a federal court case filed in October 2011 by eight married gay and lesbian service members and veterans seeking equal recognition, support and benefits for all military families. In February, Chief Warrant Officer (CW2)

Morgan, a member of the New Hampshire National Guard and a plaintiff in McLaughlin v. U.S. who is battling incurable stage IV breast cancer, traveled to Washington, D.C. to share her story on Capitol Hill and ask Boehner not to intervene in the case. “Should I not survive this bout with cancer, my wife Karen will not receive any survivor’s benefits, social security benefits or health insurance coverage. Karen is a stayat-home mom, taking care of our four-year old daughter while I undergo chemotherapy. Now, after fighting for my country in Iraq and fighting for my life with this illness, I am forced to fight the Speaker of the House in order to make sure that my family is cared for when I am gone. It’s shameful,� Morgan said after learning of the Advisory Group’s decision. — D.S.

Global IDAHO observances planned

PARIS, France — On May 17, a wide spectrum of actions and events will be held around the world to mark the annual observance of

the International Day Against Homophobia & Transphobia, commonly known as IDAHO. From festivals to flash mobs, from rallies to public forums, organizers assert that “there is no end to the diversity and sheer scope of creative and innovative activities being planned in what is sure to be the biggest and best IDAHO yet!� In the Philippines, Philippine LGBT Hate Crime Watch is organizing a march to the Commission of Human Rights to present an updated list of murdered Filipino LGBTs. They will also call on the government to fight hate crimes against LGBT people. Moroccan LGBT organization GayMaroc plans to launch its national campaign to repeal Article 489, which criminalizes same-sex relationships. Haiti will see its first IDAHO celebration marked with LGBT movie screenings and a conference on sexual orientation and gender-based discrimination in Port-au-Prince. For a full list of global IDAHO activities   and ways that you can participate, go to dayagainsthomophobia.org. — D.S.

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20 Questions continued from page 5

How do these films rank based on the number of times you’ve seen them: “Rocky,”“Rocky II,”“Rocky III,””Rocky IV”? I wish I could say I was butch enough to even consider watching a Rocky film. There’s something that disturbs me about Sylvester Stallone. I’m not sure if it’s his mumbling or the fact that he looks like he’s made of leftover pieces of Mickey Rourke. Do you own a colander? Yes. My roommate is a trained chef, so I think she has several floating around in that room where you’re supposed to cook stuff. I forget the name of it, because I never go in there. The kitchen, that’s it. Can you think of a better use of the “closedcell resin material” that’s used to make Crocs? Let’s just chop up all the Crocs ever made and use them as a sustainable mulch for children’s playgrounds. You know, nowadays, we’ve got to protect their soft little noggins from hitting the poured concrete of my childhood playground days.

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May 12-25 . 2012

Have you ever ruined a bed sheet with a lubricant stain? Yes, I have, but who knew WD40 could squirt several feet across a room when you’re trying to make a door stop creaking? Oh, wait. That kind of lube. Yes. Yes, I have. If they hadn’t become iconic gay pop stars, what would the following men have done for a living: Boy George, Elton John, George Michael, Sylvester? Boy George would have been a drag queen, no doubt. George Michael would probably have been a rent boy. I could see Elton John being a hairdresser, but definitely not a dentist. As for Sylvester? I’d say he’d be a great Walmart employee. Pass him those leggings, gentlemen. Which do you own more of, books or pairs of shoes? I’m addicted to both, really. All in total though, I have more books than shoes. I’d say we have a good 200 books floating around my condo, but only around 40 pairs of shoes. I tend to keep books longer than shoes. Grits, oatmeal or cream of wheat? It would have to be plain oatmeal mixed with a little peanut butter, chocolate syrup and a

whole lot of sugar. Breakfast of champions, indeed. The texture of grits and Cream of Wheat turn me off. It’s like eating wet sand. As a child, would you have more enjoyed an afternoon spent coloring, playing kickball or catching salamanders in a creek? I was a very hyperactive child, so all three would’ve appealed to me. In fact, I would have done all three within an hour. Then, I would’ve taken the salamanders and dropped them down a friend’s pants. Yes, I was that kid. What is your all-time favorite newspaper comic strip? It would have to be “Calvin and Hobbes.” I can completely relate to a slightly deranged, hyper, over-imaginative child with an imaginary friend.

Can you sew beyond re-attaching a button? Yes, I can. I went to college for fashion design. I’ve made several garments, some home goods and even those fancy handbags my roommate carries around. I’m also a little nugget, so I find myself altering my clothes to fit me…a lot. Who wins your most stylish man and most stylish woman award among current celebs? My guy choice is Simon Doonan. I love a guy who wears punchy colors and loud prints. He’s just so fey and I love it. Now for the ladies, definitely not Lady Gaga. Let’s go with Kate Middleton. She’s the epitome of the three important Fashion Cs: Class, Color and Cut. Man, I love those Brits! : :


Running with heels!

May 12 • Charlotte Queen City Drag Race Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win! The Queen City of Charlotte is the not only the home of NASCAR but also the Queen City Drag Race. All you need are a pair of heels and a wig to take part in all the fun. You have a chance to win the drag race trophy in three competitions: Diva Dash 100, Pit Crew Challenge and the Most Money Raised. Check in at 2 p.m. Hartigan’s Irish Pub & Restaurant, 601 S. Cedar St. queencitydragrace.com.

May 12 • Winston-Salem OUT at the Movies Screening UNCSA’s ACE Theatre Complex. 1533 S. Main St. 7 p.m. $7 adults/ $6 seniors/students. For movie information, call or visit their website. 336-918-0902. outatthemovieswinston.org. May 13 • Winston-Salem 2nd/4th Sunday Winston-Salem Tea Dance A portion of the proceeds will benefit AIDS Care Service. No cover. Music by DJ Clash. Encore, 411 W. 4th St. 5-9 p.m. 336-918-0902. outatthemovieswinston.org. May 17 • Winston-Salem Girls Night Out Fashion Show Gather your girlfriends, sisters, daughters,

mothers and grandmothers for a fun evening of great fashion, great food, great wine and great fun! Positive Wellness Alliance is having their second annual Girls Night Out Fashion Show! Your participation in this fun event will benefit those infected with and affected by HIV/AIDS. Advance ticket price/$20 per person; tickets at the door/$25. 7-9 p.m. Delta Arts Center, 2611 New Walkerton Rd.   positivewellnessalliance.org. May 19 • Charlotte Charlotte Speed Demons vs. Soul City Sirens Experience the fastest growing sport in person. The Charlotte Speed Demons women’s roller derby team host the Soul City Sirens of Augusta, Ga. The Speed Demons are part of the movement to develop roller derby into a professional level sport with an eye on inclusion in the Olympic Games. They are also featured in Derby Baby, a roller derby

we want your who/what/where

film narrated by actress Juliette Lewis and scheduled for a summer release. Tickets are $10 in advance or $14 on game day. Metrolina Tradeshow Expo Center, 7100 Statesville Rd. charlottespeeddemons.com. May 20 • Raleigh CMF Drag Brunch Crape Myrtle Festival (CMF) Drag Brunch returns in a new location with your hostess Ebony Summers and special guests Andrea Carlise, Michelle Michals, Emory Starr and Michelle Warren. Tickets are $10 at the door. Price does not include meals or drinks. To make reservations, call 919-833-3311. 12:30 p.m. 5 Star, 511 W. Hargett St. crapemyrtlefest.org. May 23-24 • Charlotte Hollywood Squares: Eighties Edition One Voice Chorus presents its second annual Hollywood Squares performance. Barbara

Q

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arts. entertainment. news. views. Burning Bush will return to host this evening of unique fun, trivia and music. And don’t forget the cocktails, silent auction and raffle. So put on your leg warmers and join in the fun. It’ll be like totally radical! 7:30 p.m. Duke Energy Theater at Spirit Square, 345 N. College St.   704-372-1000. onevoicechorus.com. May 27 • Winston-Salem 2nd/4th Sunday Winston-Salem Tea Dance A portion of the proceeds will benefit Equality Winston-Salem. Suggested $3 donation at the door. Music by DJ Clash featuring a dance off with cash prizes. 5–9 p.m. Encore, 411 W. 4th St. 336-918-0902. outatthemovieswinston.org.

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QNotes May 12-25, 2012