qmunicate issue 81 • 25/10/10 • www.qmu.org.uk
The Golden Age of Cinema
4 • Coming up at the QM 5 • You Just Lost the Game; ID? 6 • March for Red October; A History Maker 7 • Fed Up With This World? ; Ballot Box
8 • Adam Samson 9 • PBH – The founder of the Free Fringe 10 & 11• The Eighth Wonder of the World 12 • Delhi 2010 13 • Interview: Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip
14 • Live 15 • CDs 16 • Film 17 • Arts & Culture 18 • Tech
View From The Top Good day and welcome to the third issue of qmunicate and the latest View From the Top. Some of you may have spotted that I wrote a bonus edition of this column talking about elections on the QM’s facebook (www. facebook.com/qmunion), something I felt it was important to do, as in the forthcoming couple of weeks we’ve got one of the most important events of the year planned – the Autumn By-Election. For the majority of you, by the time you read this, the nomination period will have closed (4pm, 29th October), so here I’m going to talk a bit about the polling day itself. As a member of the QM you’re aﬀorded a number of privileges such as cheaper clubnight entry, reward points to get yourself some free food and use of the building 24 hours a day, but the most important thing that being a member of the QM gets you is a vote in the QM’s annual elections. On 4th November, we’ll be asking you, the members, to elect twelve new members of the Board of Management. It’s your chance to have a say in who runs your union and who represents you, so use your vote by popping into Qudos, reading the manifestos displayed there, and ticking some boxes. The manifestos will be put online too, so keep an eye on the facebook for more info and you can ﬁnd out a bit more about the candidates on the 3rd, as they’ll be taking your questions
at the Heckling Meeting, in Jim’s Bar from 6pm. This election comes at one of the busiest times of the year for us, we’ve got so much lined up for the next few weeks including a relaunch of the weekly pool competitions, a return of QM ﬁlm nights, Hallowe’en, New Theatre in Jim’s debut for the year and so much more. There’s no other venue in the city which puts on such a variety and frequency of events, and certainly none doing so at student prices. So make the most of your union, it’s here for you. The Board held discussions this past week regarding the QM Shop, and whether it serves the need of Glasgow students as well as it could. You might see Duty Board Members during the evening walking around with clipboard as we’re currently conducting a survey on the same subject, so if you’ve got an opinion or an idea for what you want to see in the shop, don’t be afraid to give them some chat. Or you can email me with suggestions or comments on anything the QM is doing, my email is email@example.com, or even ﬁre it on the wall of the facebook page. Thanks for reading, enjoy the rest of the issue and I’ll see you back here in a few weeks. Cheers, Iain
Coming soon... QMU Elections Qudos • November 4th • 9am-6pm
Movember Worldwide • November
The Queen Margaret Union’s annual by elections are coming up and there are a number of positions available. First years have the opportunity to run in ﬁrst year only positions, one lasting six months, and another two lasting a year. There are seven positions open to all current students; three ordinary board six month terms, three ordinary board year long terms, and one nine month long Events Convenorship. There will also be two positions open to Former Student Members; one six month term, and one year long. These elections give you the chance to inﬂuence how your Union is run and are an important part of what makes the QM unique. It’s never as daunting a process as it seems at ﬁrst and nomination packs are available from reception if your interested in representing the members in how our union is run. Even if you don’t fancy running yourself it’s easy to get involved in the process. The Heckling Meeting will be held in Jim’s Bar the day before the polls open. This is your chance to ask all the candidates why the deserve your vote. Questions range from the deeply serious to the utterly ridiculous and it’s the perfect way to ﬁnd out more about the candidates. If you can’t make it down to the meeting all the candidates manifestos will be made available for you to read and make your mind up. The QM is run by for students for students. It relies on its members to keep it the best place it possibly can be, so take this opportunity to make a mark on your union.
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The Queen Margaret Union is proud to be supporting Movember, the month-long charity event which promotes awareness of men’s health issues and raises money for The Prostate Cancer Charity. Movember was founded in 1999, and has grown into a worldwide phenomenon, encouraging men to grow moustaches and women to support them. The Queen Margaret Union team will be competing in a cross-campus competition with the University of Glasgow’s SRC, as well as the Glasgow University Sports Association and the Glasgow University Union, in a bid to raise as much money as possible. Iain Smith, President of the QM, said “I’m proud to be leading Team Queen Margaret Union in this venture, as whilst my moustache growing abilities aren’t the most impressive, I’m conﬁdent that the QM team, with support of the members, will be able to raise a great amount of money for a very worthy cause”. Anyone can register as a ‘Mo Bro’ or ‘Mo Sister’ via the Movember website at uk.movember.com and at the end of the month, the SRC will be awarding various mo’ related prizes. If you fancy helping Team QM in fundraising, join the team via tinyurl.com/qmmovember and keep an eye on the QM’s Facebook page for various Movember related events coming soon.
The QMU’s Big Hunt is a scavenger hunt based around Glasgow and will take place on Saturday the 13th November over four hours, starting at 2pm at the QM.
The hunt will be highly strategic as there will be no chance of collecting every item. The team that get the most items on the list will win.
Teams of two or three will be given a list of between 250 and 300 items that they need to collect or ﬁnd or take pictures of in order to win the grand cash prize.
Sponsorship forms will be made available from Monday the 25th at the QM Reception. Any money raised will go to the QM’s Charity for 2010, Cancer Research UK.
To take part in the hunt you need to have a camera with the ability to download at least 100 photos easily to a computer e.g. a camera with a memory stick is perfect. Any device that requires downloading software or syncing is not e.g. iPhone. Entry will cost a ﬁver for each hunter in the team, and will also get you a lovely shiny t-shirt.
You Just Lost the Game Scottish university calls for renewal of games industry tax break A Scottish inquiry has been held over the consequences of a U-turn in government policy for the country’s videogames industry. Representatives of the University of Abertay have called for the government to reinstate a range of incentives to encourage games development within the country. All seemed well last March when the Labour government announced a games industry tax relief programme. Videogame tradeassociation TiGA’s CEO Richard Wilson described the scheme as “an inspired decision”, with his research showing that tax relief over a 5 year period “should create or protect 3,550 graduate level jobs”. But Chancellor George Osbourne’s austerity measures resulted in the scrapping of the scheme in his emergency budget in June, due to it being “poorly targeted”. Modern games development requires long development times and signiﬁcant up-front investment, with no guarantees of market success. The abolition of the tax breaks scheme can only be bad news for games developers,
with several industry ﬁgures commenting that the UK risks developers moving their operations to elsewhere in Europe, where government tax relief makes the development process cheaper. Thousands of students across Scotland study computing and games development courses at university or college, and their graduate opportunities will undoubtedly be aﬀected by a migration of game developers out of the UK. Britain’s gaming industry contributes around £1bn a year to the UK economy, and boasts a long and illustrious history of games development. Few players of the notorious Grand Theft Auto series will realise that its sprawling satire of American culture was developed by Edinburgh-based Rockstar
North. Sadly, this success story is not entirely indicative of the overall health of the Scottish gaming industry. Realtime Worlds, a Dundee-based developer whose recent online-multiplayer game APB showed poor performance at retail, closed its doors in September . [Adam Samson]
ID? Controversial centre opens oﬃces in Glasgow A senior fellow at the University has expressed concerns over the recent opening of the Centre for Intelligent Design in Glasgow. The Centre’s aim, according to its website, is “to promote the public understanding of Intelligent Design and its implications”. Professor Paul Braterman, the fellow in question, has written blogs for noted skeptic website, the 21st ﬂoor, explaining that he’s worried the Centre plans to inﬂuence teaching.
Scotland is unique in the UK, in having no explicit legislation to prevent Creationism being taught in schools as science, instead of as a religious idea. Braterman has suggested that the Centre may wish to exploit this loophole in order to promote what he describes as “Creationism in a lab coat”.
While this may be true, the organisation’s links with other, more explicitly religious groups are undeniable. The Centre’s director, Alastair Noble, has worked closely with CARE, and is a prominent member of Mission Scotland. The former is a group that aims to “bring Christian insight and experience to matters of public policy”, and the latter aims to foster However, the Centre’s promotional material and promote the Christian faith in Scotland. distances itself from Creationism. Its deﬁnition The centre has also funded a tour by an of Intelligent Design calls it a theory that American professor who has worked to include argues that “certain features creationism in Texas science textbooks. of the universe and of living things are best explained The Vice President of the Centre also holds the by intelligent causation.” position of Vice President of Glasgow’s Royal “Unlike creationism, College of Physicians and Surgeons. the scientiﬁc theory qmunicate attempted to contact a of intelligent design is spokesperson for the Centre but found noone agnostic regarding the source of design.” available for comment. [Nina Ballantyne] qmunicate • 5
March for Red October University of Glasgow students join thousands in protest Saturday the 23rd saw more than 20,000 protestors descend on Edinburgh in order to march on Princess Street to demonstrate against cuts to public services. Amongst those in the crowds were representatives from the Student Representative Council. Vice President for Student Support, Fraser Sutherland, told qmunicate that the SRC organised a bus of around 30 protestors from Glasgow, and joined the rest of the marchers, including representatives from the NUS. SRC president Tommy Gore has, despite the council’s partial support of a graduate endowment tax, said at a recent meeting in the University that the proposals in terms of higher education amount to “little more than the privatisation of the sector”. The SRC have been vocal advocates of the recent action proposed by Socialist Workers Party oﬀshoot, the Anti-Cuts Action Network, with Gore appearing as a guest speaker at a meeting organised by the group. They also
lent support to a demonstration on campus the Wednesday before the Edinburgh march. However, senior administrators and academics in universities across the country seem to be in favour of charging graduates for their education in some form. Principal Anton Muscatelli has stated his support for a graduate contribution plan,.. The Scottish government have ruled out the possibility of charging up-front tuition fees to students while in university, a stance also supported by our principal who stated he believed tuition fees to be “against the spirit of Scottish education”. However the other options on the table will not be revealed until the SNP put forward their green paper on the issue this December. The SNP’s delay in putting forward this paper has led to some accusations of shying away from the debate and also serves to ensure that the controversy over the issue of Higher Education in Scotland will rage on for some time to come.
A History Maker... Former writer in residence to give Hillhead Subway a makeover University of Glasgow graduate, writer, and one time provider of decorations for the QM Christmas Ball, Alasdair Gray has revealed that he will be throwing his creative weight behind a project to re-decorate Hillhead Subway station. He and four assistants, will be painting a mural which will be based on an illustration of the area in his novel Old Men in Love. He has said that the initial plan was to expand the drawing out but the project has increased rapidly in size and complexity because his “crazy vanity wants to produce big and impressive things.” Gray would seem to be the ideal candidate to do up the much used station. Not only has he been described as a “creative polymath... a great writer, perhaps the greatest living in this
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archipelago today” but he has also spent most of his creative life in and around the West End of Glasgow, and the area features heavily in many of his novels, including the renowned Lanark and the award winning Poor Things. His latest contribution to the cultural landscape of the West End will add to his already iconic status, with his paintings found in many bars and restaurants, and his status as former writer in residence at the University of Glasgow. The work should illicit great excitement throughout Glasgow as it will be the most public work by a proliﬁc artist often proclaimed to be among Scotland’s greatest. He can often be seen walking around campus, and is easily recognizable as, in his own words, “a fat, spectacled, balding, increasingly old Glasgow pedestrian.” [Liam Hainey]
Fed Up With This World? Fear not, The Room is on its way to your union The Room is a brilliant ﬁlm. Wait, no, the other one. Terrible. No, in fact it’s both of these. It’s brerrible. Infamous for great lines like “I cannot tell you. It’s conﬁdential. Anyway, how is your sex life?”, and starring a man fans have called a “walking nonsequiter”, the $6m masterpiece achieved cult status after a string of midnight screenings in California. Claimed by its producer, ﬁnancier, director, writer and lead actor, Tommy Wiseau, to be a “black dramatic comedy”, the ﬁlm has been derided by everyone else, including the rest
The Ballot Box Andrew Grozier WikiLeaks; the journalists’ best friend, the saving grace for reporters struggling to describe the shit storm that was the Iraq war, and the single biggest expression of ‘testicular fortitude’ known to the internet. You generally don’t fuck with the American military – ask any Iraqi/Afghani/Japanese (Hiroshima) citizen you like. It isn’t to be done; unless you want bent over and fucked by a nuke. Well, nukes be damned, WikiLeaks will fuck away; the website recently released a mass of army ﬁeld notes from the Iraq war (almost 400,000 documents) that describe the torture of Iraqi’s by their own military ‘protectors’ and revealed the scale of civilian deaths. This naturally displeased the American government (& the British), the usual claims of being ‘irresponsible’ and ‘putting our men at risk’ slipped from the mouth of US and UK politicians alike...(NB: fuck oﬀ; your men
of its own cast. After news of the so-badit’s-good guilty pleasure spread here from over the pond it’s fair to say the ﬁlm has now inﬁltrated the UK cult market too. A midnight screening in Glasgow sold out weeks in advance and clips on youtube have notched up hundreds of thousands of hits. In recognition of the ﬁlm’s absurd and apparently unintentional hilarity, the Queen Margaret Union has decided to put on an extra special interactive screening for anyone who missed it ﬁrst t ime round, or wants to relive
shouldn’t have raped and pillaged the country they were sent to apparently ‘free’ though should they?) Hiding the truth, however, until it is forgotten about/made less important is as good as lying out front. At least have the balls to pick a side. So yet again WikiLeaks has given us all an insight into what war with America and Britain is really like – don’t be fooled by the supposed political shock of seeing so many civilian casualties, the lack of military ﬁnesse and the brutality of the collective armed forces, we all knew the militaries were like this. Look at Britain and America’s history; they ‘re not ﬂooded with peace, love and liberation, they’re drowned in war, colonialisation and slavery. Figure it out. Don’t be surprised when you read the document – which you must do. Few politicians have done/said anything about the leak beyond claiming it is ‘irresponsible’... except Nick Clegg. “What the fuck?” you may ask, “we thought he’d lost all that liberal shite?” – Yes, me too...apparently not all of it. Clegg said publicly to Mr Andrew Marr that the suggestions of torture ‘need to be looked at’; fair enough he’s not exactly going Che Guevara on us, but it must be hard to talk with Cameron’s hand up your ass. It seems a bit dull to mention the spending review. As if the slaughter and torture of innocent Iraqi’s by your own government wasn’t enough to drive you to catch the next boat to Mexico (you can’t aﬀord a ﬂight because you’ve just been made unemployed
the glory of “the rooftop scene”. £2.50 will buy you not only a ticket, but a goody bag with a cheat sheet to let you know when to join in, and more spoons than you could shake a stick at. Tickets are expected to go way before the date of the showing itself (20th November) so you’re advised to get yours early. Make sure to get in plenty of practice by yelling “You’re tearing me apart Lisa!” with inappropriate rage and vigour and calmly saying “Oh hi, Mark.” after an exceptionally angry ﬁt.
because you worked in public services, you can’t aﬀord to go to Uni to learn to get a decent paying job and you lost all your beneﬁts) but I suppose I must. I’ll summarise it though. Are you in school? Yes? (I’m impressed by qmunicate’s wide distribution that you’re in school reading this – does your teacher know about the language in this mag?? Christ, you’re gonna be a twisted but well-educated little shit) Well you’ll be pleased to know that your school won’t lose much money! Well it might, depends where you are really...but generally the school budget is safe! Kind of, but not really...it’s safer than a Quango. Are you in hospital? Yes? You poor thing, I hope you’re alright, have some grapes. Oh your hospital should be safe, assuming they don’t want to spend any more money...Are you on beneﬁts? Yes? You’re fucked. Just top yourself, it’ll be easier. Now that’s done. Here for some irony...Tony Blair’s sister in law has converted to, what for it, Islam! Yes, she apparently got a ‘shot of spiritual morphine’ and has been a Muslim ever since (that’s six weeks and counting). God is a prankster eh? Wish I had some fucking morphine... *A note on the spending review; to be Guardian-esque and let you know only at the last minute – these details only apply if you are in England. Thanks.
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Adam Samson On poorly-informed customers, the accessory-laden gaming market and the inevitable confusion... I work in retail, and if you’re one of the thousands of students that share my profession you’ll have realised long ago (day two or three, for most) that the customer is seldom right. Certain “problem” customers are, in fact, never right. Customers only care about themselves, and if you wander into Primark at the weekend you’ll see this to a distressing degree. It’s a case-study in how not to design a pleasant shopping experience, with every customer’s sole intention to purchase as many 20p t-shirts as they can carry. Nothing will stop them from getting to the till as quickly as possible, no matter how many people they have to push out their way. This is ampliﬁed during the fastapproaching festive season, where they turn into raving lunatics intent only on amassing the myriad presents that little Johnny demanded for Christmas.
own a Wii if you wanted to play your newly purchased Wii Fit board. Oﬀering her a refund after asking whether Santa had happened to leave the receipt with her, I managed to stop myself from inquiring as to why he’d bought it at a store in Glasgow rather than getting elves to build it at his Lapland slave-factory. Gaming is a confusing business these days, and to be honest I can’t blame the parents for not fully understanding what’s going on. The gaming industry has changed; there was once a time where all you needed was a console and a games cartridge, but not anymore. Thanks to the Wii and DS gaming has become incredibly mass-market, and to coax in this wider demographic games companies have had to diversify, thinking up ways to get parents spending money both at Christmas and beyond. So now you have fake musical instruments, controller attachments, tennis racquets, and numerous other pieces of plastic for children to demand from their unsuspecting elders.
Playstation Move, a remote with a glowing orb on the top which is a blatant Wii ripoﬀ, with the added bonus of looking like a kind of experimental dildo. Armed with a hefty price-tag and a launch game where players control a man hurtling down a hill on an oﬃce chair, it’s not exactly catching on, and with diﬀerent controllers required for diﬀerent games it’s a nightmare to explain to the less-informed customer.
Microsoft, meanwhile, are readying the release of their latest ploy to get more people buying Xbox’s. Dubbed “Kinect” To the fawning parents it is irrelevant that (because misspelt things are kool, boi) Johnny will play with his new toys for only it’s a camera and microphone that sits on two days before breaking them, getting your TV and tracks body movement. This bored of them, or both. All that matters apparently has a range of applications, is that their prized little-one is happy on such as a yoga game where you can hop Christmas Day. It’s almost heart-warming. about on one leg in your living-room Almost. whilst trying to avoid crashing into the ﬁreplace. It also has more futuristic I happen to work in a videogames store, One ridiculous example is an enterprising functions, such as voice and gesture which is worse than most shops because control, which I am utterly unconvinced the customers I have to deal with include accessories company who are marketing will ever work properly. Shouting “Xbox, an inﬂatable boat as the perfect parents who have no idea about the play movie” when you want to start complement to a rafting game. It has no products they are trying to purchase. bearing on the control of the game; you’re watching something? Waving at the Xbox Consider for a moment how much more to turn it on? No thanks, I’ve got a remote chaotic Primark would be if its customers just supposed to sit in it, in your living for that, with buttons that are more likely room, while you play. It’s no wonder that didn’t actually know what clothes were, to ﬁnd where I want to rewind a ﬁlm to how much they typically cost, or how you the parents can’t keep up. Even I can’t fathom the mind that would spend hard- than having to gesture at the TV like some used them. Welcome to my job, where I get people asking for “that W-Two console” earned money on a boat that (I assume, at kind of possessed semaphore instructor. least) isn’t even sea-worthy. or the “Playstation 360”, along with more The upshot of all this is that on Boxing depressing queries such as whether the Day, the complaints will start pouring Annoyingly, my customer queries PS3 “comes with a Red-Ray Player”. into my store about the damn thing are about to get worse, as Nintendo’s not working properly because it can’t competitors have just got around to A mother has shouted at me in front of understand the “Glasgow ned” accent. I releasing their own oﬀerings for this her crying kids on Boxing Day because I can hardly wait. burgeoning sector. Sony ha developed “hadn’t told Santa” that you had to also
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Every man has his ice Resident expert Emma Jayne Coops on the re-emergence of slush. Think back to a more innocent time, and among the memories of Pokémon cards and terrible pop music there’ll probably be a part of your brain that holds fond memories of going to the cinema and spending all your pocket money on a heap o’ crushed ice with shitloads of colouring and ﬂavouring – and it seemed like the best idea ever. The fact of the matter is: it may still be the best idea ever. You could think that you’re too grown up now, and that sipping on a slush is just not going to put across that reﬁned image you’ve been working hard at for so long. Well, it’s probably time to put these concerns behind you and realise that by sipping on this bright slushy cup of delicious crushed ice you are continuing thousands of years’ worth of tradition. It is generally accepted that the Chinese were the ﬁrst to create ﬂavoured ice drinks, possibly as early as 3000 BC (that’s about 5000 years ago for those of you too lazy to do the maths). They weren’t the only ones, though; Alexander the Great slurped his over 2300 years ago. And it is reported that the Roman emperor Nero sent servants to the mountains for snow to make honey and wine slushies for his guests. These sound fairly more impressive than my
usual ‘Can I have a shot of vodka for my slushie, please?’ eﬀort. Then again, I bet Nero didn’t have red and blue ﬂavours. Mixed together. Furthermore, Marco Polo, the Italian explorer and trader of the fourteenth century, is said to have brought new recipes of fruit-ﬂavoured slushies back from to Italy from his travels in China. These were used in what Italians still call ‘granita’, derived from the word for grain because the ice can be ‘grainy’. Genius, right? So, this is more than just childish nostalgia – slush is something that was started by adults for adults; even the modern slushies, made with freezing equipment, were engineered by someone in the 1950s who decided to seriously pimp their ride and used an old car air conditioning unit to create a slushie machine. And I don’t believe that they would keep that delicious cup of engine-oil ﬂavoured ice solely for the kids. I started out with my hypothesis (i.e. ice is nice), supported it with some historical context and now I will move on to science to fully compound my argument. There is deﬁnitely a certain amount of scientiﬁc reasoning and deduction involved in the game of ‘I can see
the colour, but what ﬂavour is it?’ Admittedly, it gets fairly reduction. As far as I can make out blue is some type of blue berry, red is some type of red berry, and orange must be classed as as-yet-unidentiﬁed. Need more science? Well how about if I said there is only a ten percent expansion of the original liquid volume, due to the partial freezing? So if you let a cup of Frutina Slush (as sold in our home from home, the QM) stand until it melts, the cup would still be almost full. Science: it works, bitches. As hard as it is to believe, perhaps some of the folks reading this do not know the holy chalice of ice of which I speak. Fear not, brave friends. Fear not. Simply surmount the QM steps as far as the second ﬂoor and cast yourself before the Frutina machine. Hand over your coins, pull the lever of joy and watch as your cup is ﬁlled with a mixture of happiness, love and ice. Use the shovel spoon of destiny and see how fast you can consume without needing to roll your face across the table.* *The QM Union supports responsible slushie drinking, otherwise you will get cold.
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the eighth wo Pete Sansom looks at the changing ﬁlm Last week a joiner unearthed a piece of cinematic history. Behind a partition wall in a West End cinema, Ross McMillan found a complete version of the 1933 ﬁlm King Kong. Co-directed by Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack and written by Ruth Rose and James Ashmore Creelman, King Kong is considered an absolute classic and integral in the history of ﬁlmmaking.
embraced and loved, because if you give them the chance then they will charm you. Watch King Kong as it should be and search out more gems from the canon of pre-1950s ﬁlms; and you’ll see what the true spirit of cinema is all about. Cinema should be a risk, an adventure, a challenge for both the creator and the viewer. It should be so much more than The Day After Tomorrow.
Unfortunately, you, dear reader, are more likely to have seen the 2005 version of this ﬁlm. Which we all remember starred Jack Black, an actor who has won both a Blockbuster Entertainment Award and an MTV Movie Award... And you would most likely laugh at the stop motion animation eﬀects; admittedly, the ﬁght between the T-Rex and Kong does look like it was made by a four year old. But to simply laugh at it would be to miss the point. It looks simple and primitive to us because we understand how that particular form of animation works (we’ve watched Wallace & Gromit since we were small, right?) and – by our standards – it just is primitive. Our idea of special eﬀects has progressed to such a point that CGI from only ten years ago is laughable.
I’m certainly not staying that all new ﬁlms are shit. I could never make such a generalised and assertive statement as that – I’m English. But I will go as far as to say that there is a lot of shit around nowadays. Films – speciﬁcally ﬁlms manufactured as part of the studio system – are far too often created with a speciﬁc demographic in mind. Therefore, they are tailored to what a bunch of executives think a certain demographic want to see. Anything considered not popular with, for example, sixteen to twenty-ﬁve year old males will be excised from the ﬁlm. Most directors will feel the strong prod of the studios forcing them to make movies that are generic and easily marketable.
Maybe this emphasis on special eﬀects and HD and 3D and smell-o-vision has taken away our sensibilities to being charmed by a ﬁlm, not to speak of those outmoded tropes of plotlines, themes and characterisation. This is why I am going to take this opportunity to implore you to take your time to watch some old ﬁlms. Yes, the acting is wooden. Yes, the gender roles are deplorable. Yes, you can see the strings on that spaceship. But these are all positives, not negatives. These little things need to be
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Cinema has always been a business, but it is a business that – rather than opening up and expanding creatively – has become more conservative. The reason for this is largely due to how ﬁlms are consumed. It must be remembered that VHS tapes did not become available until the 1970s, and that it wasn’t until the late 1980s when video cassette recorders dropped in price enough to become a feature of the common household. Long before the birth of VHS, if a consumer wanted to view a ﬁlm they had to go to the cinema.
onder of the world
m industry, and why classic cinema is a largely forgotten wonder on shoestring budgets. However, in many (Televisions were introduced in 1939, but supply was limited. Most homes wouldn’t get a ways it has taken away a lot of the ‘look’ of cinema; pixels just don’t have the same allure television until at least the ﬁfties.) and magic. I like ﬁlm that seems almost tactile. Black and white is not as dull as being just Imagine walking to the cinema, standing black and white. It’s got silvers and greys that in a queue, paying for your ticket and then make those points of pure black and pure ﬁnding a seat in a packed theatre surrounded white so much more resonant. Films should by all types of folk. In our world of everything have scratches and blemishes. A perfect and on demand and everything available and clean ﬁlm is dead to me. It’s like having sex comfortable, this seems like a lot of eﬀort. But cinemas used to be immensely popular. People with a virgin; you’re not going to catch any diseases but they’re probably not going to were genuinely excited by the format and give you much in return for your input. wanted to see what could be done. In 1896, a ﬁlm by the Lumière brothers called ‘The Arrival I suppose if I’m championing ‘real’ cinema, of a Train at La Ciotat Station’ premiered in I should be encouraging you to search out Paris. The ﬁlm is 50-seconds long and consists independent pieces of British and American of a single unedited static shot of a train... cinema and precious treasures from overseas arriving at a station. Apparently this ﬁlm that you probably wouldn’t see because caused audiences to scream and run out of they’re foreign and have got subtitles and you the way, believing that the train was going to crash directly into them. This story seems hard don’t watch a ﬁlm to read – that’s what books are for. But, you know, one ﬁght at a time. to believe today, and perhaps it is somewhat The spirit of cinema does still exist. There are exaggerated, but it is a good indication of the many examples of directors and actors who how with our increased understanding of the workings of cinema, perhaps we have become are committed to making ﬁlms that are both detached and unable to completely submit to popular and poignant. For the purposes of being accessible and relevant myself, I am a ﬁlm. going to choose a director and a ﬁlm that I expect most of my readership will be familiar The audience of the thirtiess were more cinewith. The director is Christopher Nolan; the literate than the audience of 1890s Paris but ﬁlm is Inception. This is a ﬁlm that I feel (and you can still imagine the wonder, awe and I’m not alone in this view) shows what can be fright that they felt when they saw King Kong done with the medium of cinema. This ﬁlm looming over them on the great silver screen. uses CGI sparingly and relies on ponderous In respect to the loss of charm, many ﬁlms visuals rather than Transformers-style aren’t ﬁlmed on celluloid anymore. The explosions. Nolan was allowed to make this advent of digital video has made production ﬁlm because he’d already made the studios a massively cheaper, editing easier and has fuckload of money by successfully rebooting allowed for a whole swathe of young and the Batman franchise. Starting out with a low ambitious directors to create debut features
Watch these… There are some ﬁlms you just have to see. If you haven’t quite gotten into the swing of old-world cinema just yet, here are a few to start you oﬀ.
budget debut (shot at weekends on London streets) Nolan was able to capitalise on the initial positive response he received and had a great idea ready to pitch. The idea was Memento, a ﬁlm that can only be described as a independent modern classic. I could easily fall into a long and geekismladen digression about Nolan, but I’ll swiftly move away. I included Inception here only as an illustration of what all of that modern technology and advances in ﬁlmmaking equipment can be used for. It is important to remember that Nolan puts an emphasis on more traditional methods of ﬁlmmaking and eschews many technologies that other ﬁlmmakers use to make ﬁlms easier and quicker to produce. He believes ﬁlms should be diﬃcult. And this is what gives great works of cinema their blood and their surface. I can’t say that all old ﬁlms have this kind of vibrancy and texture, but I do feel that they are too often neglected and that cinema screens could be put to much better use. Just cancel that showing of Some-Shite-Film-that-Zac-Efron-isin-and-Doesn’t-Even-Sing and put on a classic instead. Think of the millions of people in this country that will have never seen the amazing and pivotal ﬁlms that are Casablanca and Citizen Kane. Don’t ever think out with the old. Take what is good of the new. Take what is good of the old. And let one make space for the other. Oh, and go pull out some partition walls (provided they are yours to pull out). If all goes to plan, you’ll soon have in your hands an original print of The Cabinet of Dr Caligari. If and when this happens, invite me round.
The Third Man Director Carol Reed took a lot of speed in the making of this ﬁlm and Orson Welles only showed on set intermittently. It could have gone utterly wrong, but this is a brilliant and tightly composed ﬁlm with a really sweet twist.
Metropolis Okay, this is about two and a half hours long, but if you put in the eﬀort it really is worth it. A tale of the worker’s plight; watch a great machine metamorphose into an employee-eating god. And back again.
Nosferatu Hallowe’en is coming up so get this Draculainspired classic out. This completely unauthorised adaptation of Bram Stoker’s novel is genuinely creepy.
Rebecca You know Hitchcock – check out this psychological thriller from the master of suspense. Hitch’s ﬁrst American project doesn’t disappoint; a brilliantly gothic tale and also a porqmunicate • 11
b L X b L X b L X b L
QDELHI J X2010: s ri AR Retrospective g o O z m O s L rQ QJ X s ri R g o O z m O s L rQ QJ X s ri R g o O z m O s L rQ QJ X s ri R g o O z
Robert Fairbairn looks back on the Commonwealth Games
The build-up to Delhi 2010 was marred by controversy, questioning the ability of the hosts to actually stage the event. As far back as a year prior to the tournament the behindschedule construction of venues raised real fears that the competition simply could not go ahead. Fast forward to mere days before the scheduled start and videos in the media revealed the ﬁlthy conditions of the athletes’ quarters, some even showing paw-prints on the beds. With many declared ‘unﬁt for human occupation’ Scotland‘s athletes threatened to pull out. Coupled with a footbridge collapsing, waved away as being only for the supporters and not – God forbid – the athletes, and Delhi was not looking like the event India had planned, an event to demonstrate the success and modernity of ‘the world’s largest and greatest democracy’. Throw in the failure to sell many tickets and big-name withdrawals such as Usain Bolt, and it was quickly looking like a disaster. Even now there is a fresh inquest into claims of corruption but for the time being the opening ceremony, a celebration of Indian culture and heritage, was grand enough to turn attention away from the controversial build-up. India’s performances also did much to restoring the country’s image after the shambolic start. Accomplishments such as an unexpected gold in the women’s 4x400m relay, 10 golds for wrestling and success for the men’s hockey team - including thrashing arch-rivals Pakistan in a predictably electric atmosphere before overcoming England in the semi-ﬁnals - spelled India’s best medals tally at any competition, ﬁnishing with 38 golds and over 100 total medals. The race for second place went right down to the wire between India and England, the hosts coming out on
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tournament. Indian newspapers slated the preparation, pointing to the condition of the athletes’ quarters amongst other things. Much of Delhi’s population was disrupted Australia cruised into ﬁrst overall with 74 golds, by the games and locals lost out on business as markets were shut down for the closing almost double that of second-placed India, ceremony. Traﬃc alterations also meant with the women’s gymnastics team and the that auto-rickshaw drivers lost passengers. men’s hockey team being a couple standout performances. It was a fairly successful showing Meanwhile minor embarrassments such as faulty scales at the boxing weigh-ins, and by the home nations, England of course more serious occurrences like cobras in narrowly missing out on second place but with the second highest total medal tally. Fears over athletes’ rooms plagued the tournament and some events had little or no spectators contaminated water aired after 15 swimmers to the point where tickets were given out fell ill but it turned out to be a condition free to encourage crowds. This changed described, perhaps overly cheerfully, as ‘Dehli radically as the tournament went on, Belly’ which many people suﬀer from on their however, with the India-Pakistan hockey ﬁrst trip to India. English swimmer Rebecca game and the Indian women’s relay triumph Addlington overcame this however to record a generating atmospheres to rival South fantastic gold in the 800m freestyle. Northern African football matches this summer. And Ireland improved on Melbourne 2006 to bring despite controversy surrounding conditions their total tally up to 10 with three golds for and security, following the Games athletes boxing, a sport the home nations excelled in. England and Northern Ireland were guaranteed praised what they had seen, while 100,000 security personnel ensured that nothing ﬁve boxing medals each whilst Wales and threatened athletes or supporters alike. Scotland were guaranteed three apiece after all four nations had successful quarter-ﬁnals, All in all the tournament gave a good account and in the end six golds were won between of modern India with performances that them. Scotland clinched a top 10 ﬁnish thanks to golds mainly in boxing, shooting and cycling, they will be keen to repeat without home performers such as Callum Johnston and David advantage in future tournaments. A grand closing ceremony involving both Indian and Millar shining to raise hopes ahead of Glasgow Scottish performers passed the baton onto 2014. A total medal objective of between Scotland as hosts of the 2014 Commonwealth 18-25 was bested with 26, while Wales secured Games, which is already seeing much an impressive 19 with golds for men’s 400m regeneration of the south of Glasgow in hurdles and men’s lawn bowling. preparation. As for Scotland’s athletes, while 38 gold medals may be out of reach they will So was Delhi 2010 was a success? Besting hope that with Glasgow crowds behind them, England and eventually grasping second place they too can reap the beneﬁts of hosting means that India’s medal haul cannot be put the tournament and come away with an down, however many feel the organizers let impressive tally. the nation down with their running of the top on the ﬁnal day thanks to Saina Nehwal’s gold in badminton and England’s losing three ﬁnals in the same sport to ﬁnish on 37 golds.
“Dan le Sac. Scroobius Pip. Fixing hip-hop. As best we can.” Mixing electronic beats and a mix of rap and spoken word, Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip formed in 2006 and found fame with the release of the iconic ‘Thou Shalt Always Kill’. The duo is unique, and so deservedly followed by an army of strong followers who react to their sound and their intelligent patter. Their journey into musical success has now brought them to the QM, so I took the chance to ask them a few questions. First oﬀ : as these guys employ a lot of styles, tempos and topics, what are their inﬂuences?
see Scroobius as an angry young man; he also tackles the subjects of true beauty, music and love. But as we’re on the subject of politics... Politics? Government? Coalition?
“I’m just waiting to see what happens with them right now,” says Scroobius Pip. “By having a coalition we’ve received the lesser of two evils and the Lib Dems will have the ability to hold the Tories back from their usual regime of cutting everything.” To be perfectly frank, I was hoping for Scroobius to say “Fuck Cameron” and move on; “It’s not just about being “There is so much but he puts an optimistic inﬂuenced by the music you slant on the situation. music out there to draw inﬂuence love, but equally about drawing “Having this government from that it’s not inﬂuences from music you hate.” in power will awaken the public to the need to just about being inﬂuenced by the vote in the interest of the country. Just like America had to put up with music you love,” says Dan le Sac, “but equally about drawing inﬂuences from music you hate. the George Bush administration in order to Like hearing a pop song and thinking about realise that they had to make a choice to select the best person for the role.” So if we tolerate how you would have done it diﬀerently and Cameron, we get our own Obama? Okay. I’ll how you could improve on the ideas used in the song.” believe the prophet Pip. This approach of reacting to what already exists and what is gaining space in the mainstream is evident in ‘Fixed’, a song from the duo’s ﬁrst album which appropriates the beat from Dizzee Rascal’s ‘Fix Up, Look Sharp’. This clever bit of sampling gives Scroobius the chance to meditate on the state of British hip-hop. Basically, it’s all kids rapping about knives. Scroobius tackles this bland pubescent machismo and yearns for something more inspiring, a voice that really speaks for British youth. Scroobius Pip is well known for his lyrical content. While many rap acts sing about guns, bitches and bling, Scroobius is not happy to use these impotent tropes as his subject matter. His concerns are more political and sociological, ranging from religion to crime to suicide. Of course, it’s somewhat too easy to
Not to be outdone in political astuteness, Dan le Sac throws in his view of the situation. “I believe the current political climate is a real reﬂection of society and how the media is able to inﬂuence people’s choices.” He cites the media’s turn against Gordon Brown as the reason people voted as they did; but asserts that the electorate were voting “against Labour and Gordon Brown, rather than for Cameron.” He insists that it’s this kind of (manufactured) disillusionment with the government that has resulted in the BNP gaining seats, rather than voters being racist. “Although I must say it’s a great testimony to the nation that although we can’t all decide deﬁnitively on the best leader for our nation we still aren’t beating the crap out of each other.” Politics out of the way, we move onto more immediate matters. Where do they most like
to play? (They’d better say Glasgow.) “Well, Glasgow has always been a really good place for us to play.” (Good work, Scroobius.) Le Sac adds “I think the places up north are always better. There’s this strange band between London and the Midlands that isn’t great. Norwich is always nice, and places like Leeds and that are good too.” During their live performance Scroobius recounted the tale of how he had been walking in Glasgow the night before – and had almost walked into a man urinating directly down the street. Not at the side of the street. Down the street. This experience aside, what do they think of our green and pleasant place? “It’s a nice place but it suﬀers from the same kind of problems as any city. There will always be problems with things like drugs and homelessness. You have this wonderful eﬀect where in a city buﬀeted by the cold winds, all the people are warming and more welcoming to counter this. It’s a shame that conversely you still have all the sectarian problems. Glasgow is very diverse though and it’s wonderful that it plays host to such places as the School of Art which is just legendary and has produced many great people.” Before we let the boys go, it’s time for an obligatory stupid question. This time with a nineties vibe. “Dan le Sac, Scroobius Pip. Who is your favourite Power Ranger?” Scroobius conﬁdently ﬁelds this one with the astuteness of a man who knows how to handle the prying media. “There was this actor who was a like an extra in the Power Rangers but a couple of years ago he went and pretended to try a boat from this couple and him and some other guys killed them and tied them up in an anchor chain and dumped them in the water. It’s pretty weird and that but I guess he’s my favourite.” Nicely obscure, sir. Well played. qmunicate • 13
Live Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip QMU 23/10 Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip can be most accurately described as a ‘spoken-word hiphop duo’ – which makes them sound wank. And in no way manages to convey the rousing experience of seeing them live. Dan le Sac provides truly exceptional DJing – constantly mixing, remixing and dropping beats – on top of which Scroobius Pip spits politicallycharged rap with such conviction that it has become cliché to refer to him as a preacher or a prophet. Few acts would take the risks that Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip do. After playing only two songs, they decided to launch into Magician’s Assistant, a downbeat song about the consequences of an individual’s decision to commit suicide. Delivered with poignant power and controlled anger, the song forced the whole crowd to listen (somewhat) quietly without resentment. The party – slightly subdued but in no way killed – was thrown straight back into life as Scroobius
deadpanned “So, that was a song about self-harm and suicide...” and launched into a more buoyant number. It was impossible not to get drawn into the spirit of the moment. Even without Scroobius’s MCing, it would have been an amazing DJ set that you wouldn’t even need to imbibe toxins to enjoy. With Scroobius, however, it was an exceptional party that could have lasted all night without getting repetitive. The whole night could be enjoyed for being powerful and aﬀecting – but even if you disregarded the subject of
the songs, the beats and the strong rhythms of Pip’s were hugely pleasurable in a purely aural and physical way.
Continuing the recent Scottish folk trend, what Kassidy oﬀers tonight is semi-acoustic troubadoure-type of tunes and rythms. The average age in Qudos is slightly higher than normal; the back and the sides of the venue is ﬁlled with drink-sipping forty-somethings; connoisseurs of the Glasgow music scene and old hippies.
Betrayal is the song that makes the crowd move. The most impressive bit of the show is when six guitars are played at once, creating a multi-dimensioned and interesting sound.
Now and then, Pip would sit back and quaﬀ some rosé, letting le Sac keep the gig pumping.They ﬁnished with the awesome Letter from God to Man. Pip adopted the role of the Divine and apologised for the horrors committed in his name. Then set himself straight with the homosexuals: ‘I don’t hate ya’. We love you, Dan and Scroob. [Ice P]
Kassidy QMU 14/10
After some rather boring (although appreciated by the older generation) jazz-pop from Jonathan Carr and singer-songwriter tunes from Astral Planes, Kassidy’s long-haired, beardy members turn up on stage, looking like the stereotypical etno slackers. Despite resembling Fleet Foxes, the music is less mainstream and more old-school folk, combined with inﬂuences from southern American 60’s. It sounds like a winning concept, and indeed, the band instantly manages to create a good vibe among the audience. Stray Cat gets a response of appreciative recognition, and The
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Even though these guys are clearly talented musicians they all seem a bit distracted and do not fully seem to engage with the audience, even though people seem to appreciate the set. They seem to rely too much upon their talent as musicians on the expense of being interesting and varied on stage, making them come oﬀ as a tad pretentious. However, backed up by a solid lightshow, and ﬂawless sound made by all those guitars, the somewhat bland performance still oﬀers pleasure for eyes and ears. Being content with this, I make my way home after the gig; which I end up regretting the next day. Rumour has it that the highlight of Kassidy’s performance was done spontaniously at Unplugged afterwards. [Jenny N]
Grinderman Grinderman 2
The album clunks along at an almost uncomfortable pace and Cave’s morbid take on sex and relationships continues to Drawing on inﬂuence from manifest itself alongside bursts of epicurean blues and garage rock in hilarity. Lines like “My baby calls me the Loch equal measure, the latest oﬀering from Nick Cave and co (most renowned for Nick Cave and Ness Monster/ Two massive humps and the Bad Seeds), sounds like a natural successor then I’m gone”, cement the lyrical reputation which precedes Cave. The entire project to its frustrated antecedent and satisﬁes appears to be based on sexual frustration, immensely, whilst conveying an altogether whilst somehow avoiding the adolescent more focussed and serious tone. clumsiness such a statement may suggest. Grinderman are a band wholly comfortable in From the chaotic explosion of the album’s opener, Mickey Mouse and the Goodbye Man their skin and their second album is certainly to the uncompromising drone of Worm Tamer a progression from their debut oﬀering. Classing this album as anything other than an through the haunting reﬂection of wasted youth, When my Baby Comes and the euphoric essential listen for 2010 would simply be an injustice to a group of musicians who remain pop oﬀering, Palaces of Montezuma: what as relevant today as their inception twenty six began as a side project has evolved into a years ago. [KM] cacophonous force to be reckoned with.
Badly Drawn Boy It’s What I’m Thinking
The year 2000. It was the best of times, it was the blorst of times for a young Damon Gough. The Mercury Music curse gave him a long awaited moment in the limelight, but has plagued the artist ever since, leaving critics apparently unable to omit mentioning the heady heights forecast for him but which were never ultimately reached. Criticism of the Boy’s previous album purportedly forced Gough into hiding for the last three years, so being a caring sort of chap, it’s with a heavy heart I have to inform you he might as well have stayed there. There’s nothing terribly awful about the tracks between inoﬀensive opener In Safe Hands and cleancut closer, This Beautiful Idea, but there’s nowt terribly exciting either. [NB]
Mitchell Museum Tiger Heartbeat
As distinct as Mitchell Museum’s debut single released this year, Tiger Heartbeat is another edgy pop song released through the guitarists’ label – Electra French Records. The track is the four piece Glaswegians’ take on the power pop and indie rock scene today...but with further creativity and charm. The band have been compared to musical giants such as Animal Collective and Flaming Lips which are very big boots to ﬁll.
We are Scientists I Don’t Bite
Jim Jones Revue High Horse
It’s fairly diﬃcult not to love cheeky New Yorkers, We Are Scientists. The trio’s amazing ability to write undeniably catchy songs combined with their fun-loving personalities result in a fusion which can only be described as explosive chemistry. This latest oﬀering, the third single taken from their most recent album Barbara, is a perfect example of what these boys are great at.
Whoever said rock and roll was dead had not listened to The Jim Jones Revue. New single High Horse has grabbed a deﬁbrillator and resurrected the musical genre in a ﬂurry blues scales and thrashing drum beats. The English group oﬀer an intelligent ﬁfties musical throwback with bags of attitude and loud distortion, think Little Richard meets Lemmy. The single is an assault on the senses and I recommend With a magniﬁcent riﬀ that quickly lodges itself the band to anyone who is tired of the King into your head for days, a chorus you can’t help of Leon musical school of thought. Buy the Tiger Heartbeat is fronted by airy vocals and but sing along with and a general feel-good album it is also fantastic. [PH] yet again boasts the bands quirky lyrics, and aura surrounding the whole track, it certainly just as signiﬁcant is the backing from the stands far out from the rest of the generic rest of the group giving the track a real solid ‘indie-rock’ music that is spilling into the charts sound. The melodic keyboard riﬀs and intense these days – especially amazing when you rhythms really keep the track ﬂowing so it’s not consider their drummer is a former member of Sean Keogh that hard to get stuck on this captivating tune. Razorlight! Quirky solo musician Sean Keogh is a man on a misson. He aims to create wonderful songs It’s still early days for Mitchell Museum but We Are Scientists are real characters who are they deﬁnitely shouldn’t be overlooked. big in attitude and certainly big in sound. that will stay in your head for days on end Whether they will meet the standards of the The single ignores the easy route of generic but will also force you to question yourself. His nostalgic anthems and trippy keyboards aforementioned groups is still to be seen but indie-pop chart toppers and really expresses be sure to check out this track, check out the what We are Scientists stand for. My advice for create a wonderful soundscape of intrigue album and support the local boys on their potential listeners is to live dangerously and which cleverly compliments his inviting voice. I recommend that you look this lad up. current tour. [GM] take a bite. [KM]
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Vampires Suck I think the movie title really sums up this colossal waste of 82 minutes, it sucked; I mean really truly sucked. I tried to watch this ﬁlm with an open mind and disregard the fact that this was created by the morons who also made Date Night, Epic Movie and Disaster Movie. The fact that I really hate Twilight was a good start. The premise is to rip the piss out of the Twilight while combining both the ﬁrst and second story; they didn’t need to change the plot much apart from a few names as the original story is a mockery anyway. It also attempted to make fun of some current American pop-culture such as Gossip Girl and the Jonas Brothers. may have been held together by vast amounts As it turned out, he entire ﬁlm was an insult to of duct tape and the hopes and dreams two anyone with some brains. guys who will never be accredited to anything worthwhile. They elevated the spoof/slap-stick genre to a whole new level, and not in a good way. Every It’s a shame because Jenn Proske who plays other line had some incongruous gag ranging Becca’ the heroine of the tale, does an incredible job of encapsulating the same annoyfrom beating up a man in a wheel chair, to a ing mannerisms and poor acting of Kirsten gay dance number and basically went for every cheap gimmick in the writers could think of Stewart and Matt Lanter (Edward) does pull oﬀ (not unlike the actual Twilight ﬁlms). a set that the same ‘constipated’ look as Robert Pattinson
(to quote one of the few accurately funny lines in the ﬁlm). However even this isn’t enough to keep even the most adamant Twilight rejecters entertained. Why Friedberg and Seltzer thought to parody a ﬁlm that is so bad that it basically mocks itself is beyond me. I can put my hand on my heart and say that these two are the worst ﬁlmmakers ever. Do not see this ﬁlm, do not rent this ﬁlm, don’t even have it as background noise when you’re drunk. It’s just that crap. [Lucy Howell]
Paranormal Activity II two are for some reason far more sensitive to the crazy shit when it starts to occur. The ﬁrst ﬁlm followed Micah and Katie in their investigation about whether Katie was posessed. The second one begins with a diﬀerent feel. For example, a break-in occurs and so the question is not initially about haunting but about home security. It results in security cameras being ﬁtted which allow the viewers to keep track of everything going on. Handy!
Paranormal Activity II follows an ordinary family as its members enjoy a happy, fun-ﬁlled life with no issues with ghosts or demons. Okay, I lied; the shit hits the fan and no one is safe, not even the baby. This is the follow up to last year’s surprise hit. It would be fair to say that this is not a true sequel as it is primarily set before the ﬁrst ﬁlm. Before all the good spooking is done, it makes sure that the viewers get the
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lowdown about the lead up to the ﬁrst ﬁlm, and also provides more information (spoilers about PA1 ahead) about what happens to Katie after she goes missing. If you dont know what to expect, let me set the scene for you: an ordinary house with a mummy, a daddy, a teenager and a baby. They also have a dog and a latina maid, and these
This ﬁlm excels at holding your attention on a single shot for 30 seconds. You are looking at the whole screen to see if you can see anything spooky but just when you give up hope of spotting it before, boom, it happens and you poop your calvins. There are some really scary moments in this ﬁlm and a few really amusing bits too involving a ﬂoating baby – seriously. If you liked the ﬁrst Paranormal Activity, check this one out, and if you havent caught the ﬁrst I recommend you to catch them in release order. [Chris Hall]
Theatre Measure For Measure • Strathclyde Theatre Group 22/10 For those of you unfamiliar with the plot of Measure for Measure, this is Shakespeare’s story about how the Duke of Vienna, realising that his city is full of miscreants, prostitutes and general debauchery, decides to leave the task of cleaning it up to his deputy and goes into disguise as a Friar so he can watch. It is one of the more perverse and whimsical of Shakespeare’s plays, and contains many sexual innuendos, puns and masquerades by the overly exaggerated characters.
Unfortunately it became apparent from quite early on three quarters of the cast were not used to speaking Shakespearean and, consequently, it was rather diﬃcult to follow. The few notable exceptions, who in my opinion carried the show, were Tony Williams as Elbow and Will Speirs as Pompey. Both these men eased anyone not used to seeing Shakespeare into their argument of misunderstandings while still remaining funny. These guys kept you unaware that their language was any diﬀerent from present day. The same cannot be said for the male lead, the Duke. His slow, drawn out lines were said as though he had no idea as
It was therefore slightly disappointing to see the Strathclyde Theatre Group give such a straight and, at points, tedious performance of a text with so much comical potential.
to the meaning of the words, only wishing to show oﬀ his acting abilities which, could have been quite adept in a diﬀerent role. The Ramshorn Theatre plays host to a small performance space inside the bowels of a church, and if it were not for the creative use of space, this production would have been without comment. The group took advantage of the length of the play to have two intermissions each returning to a slightly diﬀerent stage. The costumes were of the Shakespearean age and quite nicely put together despite a clearly limited budget. However, it was a shame that the design was being the most redeeming feature of the play. [Lucy Howell]
ure lt u C +
Culture Preview StaG Nights • 17-19/11 This year STaG Nights, one of Scotland’s largest student theatre festivals, takes inspiration from one of the great pieces of literature from over the last 100 years, F Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby. Student Theatre at Glasgow (STaG) take over the basement of Stereo, storming in jazz musicians, ﬂapper girls, dancers, bootleggers and gramophones galore whisking the audience away into the atmosphere of a 1920s speakeasy at the height of the economic boom. For those not familiar with this annual tradition; every year the company holds a festival of theatre inviting fellow students to produce upwards of ten single-act plays. If you turn up slightly early some 20’s characters will
escort you across the road to see some darker and (slightly oﬀ the wall) pieces of drama. Additionally this year are Cut! Filmmaking society, and a small ﬁlm festival will be hosted on the morning of Thursday 18th of November. On the Friday afternoon a comedy troupe led by upcoming talent, Richard Gadd are let loose for a couple of hours. Musical talent is also celebrated as saxophonists and singers stamp up that energetic pace of the1920s during the evenings. The excitement will be kicked oﬀ with an all day launch party in the on November 4th with refreshments, 1920s ﬁlms and a themed pub quiz.
•17-19 November •7pm •£6/£5 (day) or £14/£12.50 (three days)
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World of Warcraft
True Stories: Dangerous Dreams
I’ll make my position clear: Alliance, Pally. Yes I like blood elves. For those of you who understand this you will understand my bias in this review – the rest of you will have seen the words ‘World of Warcraft’ and probably stopped reading already. With the announcement of the upcoming December release date for what is set to be the most awaited expansion pack yet, not to mention all the gossip jumping out of Blizzcon, it would be futile to ignore the ‘Hordes’ (alliance ftw) of us proud enough to admit we group up with 24 other people, ﬁre up our elves and tactically kill large dragons.
One night, Amy Hardie had a dream in which her late partner told her that she was going to die within the next year. Convinced that this was a premonition, Hardie decided to ﬁlm what she increasingly believed to be the last year of her life. True Stories: Dangerous Dreams (More4, 19th Oct.) is a video diary of that year.
So what is to looking most promising? Unlike the vapid people amused at female goblins dancing to ‘All the Single Ladies’, the rest of us will be far more interested that the map has been broken into something astounding. Playing the beta, areas such as Darkshore (a big misty beach) and the barrens (a big savannah) have been entirely changed with stunning new artwork and strange lava which is a welcome sight for those of us far too used to rerolling the same old map over and over. The new races; Goblins (small green things with big ears) and Worgen (werewolves) that come with new levelling zones and lore of their own are in themselves gameworthy. Does it oﬀer the advanced player enough to do? Well with new class/ race combos and hundreds of new quests, not to mention the megaton of achievements Blizzard are so fond of, it is safe to say you aren’t about to run out of things to do. Anyone reading the latest 4.1patch notes will see that all the silly mistakes of the past are being realised and classes such as Hunter and Rouge are to be quickly ﬁxed. New dungeons such as level 80-83 ‘Throne of the Tides’ require much more team work and skill than those of ‘Wrath of the Lich King’ which had us rolling our face on a keyboard and still doing well. From the beta, it’s safe to say Blizzard aren’t wanting to make this expansion another easy ride. And what about the large ﬁrey dragon in the advertising? It’s a bloody giant ﬁrey dragon with no soul that will take a crack team of troops to kill and drop epic loot. What more does one need? Nerdy or not, I’ll be the one dancing outside at midnight waiting for the doors of the local Game to open. Look for me, I’ll be the one dressed up as an elf. [Emma Jayne Cooper]
Picture blog – witandwhistle.com An ultimately middle class, suburban blog involving DIY, fashion and beautiful photography that inspires one to be simply lovely... all the time. Bitchy blog – clientsfromhell.net/ Ever had a job? Ever marvelled the stupidity of mankind? yeah... Music – stereomood.com/ Pick an emotion, they give you a playlist of simply beautiful listenable songs. Perfect for when the library won’t let you spotify. Game – sushicat.org Think cute, think Japanese, think cats... Your mind will melt with the cuteness. YouTube sensation – goo.gl/bNVy He may well be the greatest man on the internet. I’m so srs.
18 • qmunicate
Despite making pains to describe herself as a ‘science ﬁlm-maker’, Hardie does not oﬀer us a scientiﬁc reason why she believes her dream to have an immanent and imminent ontology – she just does. However, midway through the ﬁlm Hardie develops a serious lung condition, which seems to lend credence to her vision. Upon consulting a neurologist, she is oﬀered a rational explanation: our brains receive so much data that we cannot process it all at once, therefore some information slips straight into the subconscious, where it may surface in our dreams. Hardie’s illness clearly pre-dated her ‘premonition’ – the dream was simply her subconscious telling her that something wasn’t right. What appeared, then, to be a message from another plane of existence was in fact a simple tautology: she registered some problem, and then she dreamt it. No exogenous force, no commune with spirits, nothing at all numinous. However, Hardie is seemingly unable to consign her vision to fantasy and so enlists a Brazilian shaman in order to ‘re-program her neuro-pathways’. This is the most puerile kind of pseudo-science; a crude and doomed attempt to syncretize science and superstition. The ﬁlm’s resultant, hysterically expressive, trance sequence owes more to Truﬀaut than Freud. In the end, however, Hardie is convinced that she has been reprieved of her ‘death sentence’, and the ﬁlm concludes with sanguine moralising and celebration. Hardie’s dilemma reveals the human race’s innate fear of the uncertainty of death. It is a reminder of why eschatology is the money-maker (literally) of religion. It excites our fears and panders to our solipsism: we don’t know what’s coming, but we fervently hope that we are part of the masterplan of some celestial force. [Allan Rennie]
Meme of my week - http://goo.gl/wHFI In glory of the upcoming showing, I thought I’d link you into why The Room is simply hilarious Flash Games - goo.gl/R6YE The Crimson Room and its follow ups are triumphs in ﬂash gaming. Although from 2004 (old skool) it still remains as creepy, as diﬃcult and as uchalleged in the world of pixel hunting gaming.
Webcomic - plasticbrickautomaton.com Better known as LegoRobot (copyright kills), an entirely MS paint drawn comic bordering obscene and mental... everyone worth their internet salt should memorise these.
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I saw you nyree crackerpacket douglas using every single glass in our kitchen cupboard to support your diluting juice addiction. • i saw you katie/sarah.. BAAA! • I saw you J rocking the Mic on Monday in Jim’s. • I saw you Jono trying to pull that lassie and failing !!! • i saw you kirsten somerville being a sex pest to the bloodhound gang at quids on tuesday... • bloody hell. Omni’s back. • i saw you dave c, with your hands full, and not your glass... • I saw you Two Pints hitting the whitey in my bathroom. • i saw you fucking steve asking me if i’d like a wrestle. • I saw you Calum, being all menstrual and hating on me. Don’t hate on me Calum, it only makes me do things like this. • I saw you Meltem Kesal, totally wanting me yet again • I saw you bob reid with a hard on surrounded by guys in cheezeee. Hope it was for me...<3 • I saw you Lauren’s birthday cheesy people. We can’t spell Huzzha to my mum! • I saw you I didn’t see you Peter, where are you? Question of the evening! • i saw you josh chatting up long ginger curly hairedy girl
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