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THE FIRST BUSINESS & EMPOWERMENT MAGAZINE FOR WOMEN IN THE MIDDLE EAST

ISSUE 2

DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE? When Self-Awareness leads to success.


//THE USUALS

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//THE USUALS

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Publisher/Editor-in-Chief Samia El-Solh Managing Director Dania Boustany Operations Manager Manal Nakhle Chief Editor Richard Labaki Responsible Manager Ali Zeineddine Creative Director Michel Karsouny Lifestyle Liaison Rania Tabbah Graphic Designers Ralph Waked Josiane Bitar Lara Atallah UAE Chief Bureau Rym Ghazal Editors Neil Soans Sherry Tenorio Emile Sinclair Pierce Benedict Raja Sfeir Contributing Editors Dr. Haifa Nassar Karen A. Rachna Tamara Ansari Nour Samaha Wally Bock Penelope Trunk Alana Sharara Editorial Consultants Alias Publishing Media Representatives Beirut Ahmad Bawab ahmad@pushmag.me Dubai Advance Media samar@advancemena.com evelyn@advancemena.com Regional Sales sales@pushmag.me Printer Raidy | www.raidy.com Bechara El-Khoury st., Sayegh Center, 6th Fl. - Beirut, Lebanon. Tel/Fax: (961) 1 204 577, 330 803 - info@pushmag.me - www.pushmag.me Copyright - All rights reserved 2011 Alias Publishing accepts no liability for any unsolicited material. Opinions and views contained in PUSH’s editorial content are not necessarily those of the publisher’s or the magazine. No Part of this publication in whole or in part there of can be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form without the permission of the publisher in writing.


TABLE OF CONTENTS THE PUSH MANIFESTO 6// CULTIVATION Mastering The Unspoken 12// Money Madam 14// Woman of The Month 16// Book of The Month 17// Develop-Mental 18// Women at The Forefront 22// GEEK CHIC E-commerce 26// SUBSTANCE What Tipping Point? 28// Pay Yourself First 32// Invest in The Very Best 36// FEATURE The Great Unknown 38// May The Feminine Force Be With You 42// Soumoud Emra'a 44// The Lady of Excellence 46// INDULGENCE Interview with Fawaz Gruozi 48// Only The Selfish Evolve 52// Metal Mania 56// Leaving The World Behind 60// POSSIBILITY Negotiating With Investors 66// The Brightest Bulb: Picking One Idea From Many 70// Get More Out of Life by Writing Your Manifesto 72// FELICITY The Truth About Plastic Surgery 74// MAMAPRENEURS Kids, Let's Talk 80// THE USUALS Small Talk 86// Events 87// Brain Gym 92// Not so FAQ 93// Conferences 94// Exhibitions 95// Horoscope 96// Eight Smart Snacking Tips 99// Classifieds 100// The Origin Of The Question Mark: When early scholars wrote in Latin, they would place the word questio – meaning “question” – at the end of a sentence to indicate a query. To conserve valuable space, writing it was soon shortened to qo, which caused another problem – readers might mistake it for the ending of a word. So they squashed the letters into a symbol: A lowercased q on top of an o. Over time, the o shrank to a dot and the q to a squiggle, giving us our current question mark.


//THE USUALS

IT WAS ONCE BELIEVED THAT THE EARTH IS FLAT AND THAT WE WILL FALL OFF IF WE VENTURE BEYOND ITS LIMITS.

THE PUSH MANIFESTO WE BELIEVE THAT AS WOMEN, WE SHOULD SEEK THAT RISKY EDGE FOR IT IS WHERE WE THRIVE MOST. AND IF WE FALL, WE WILL SURELY RISE AGAIN.

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We are women first and foremost; our identity extends beyond borders and ethnicity. We are truthful to ourselves and to others. We will inspire and be inspired; we will motivate and never judge. We will put negative competition, jealousy and gossip aside and replace such negativity with trust and sisterhood.

We are women of many layers; we cannot be defined by a single role. We are doubtless, fearless and powerful. We follow our instincts instead of following the norm and trying to live up to the expectations of others. We believe in building a home and having children, but we also believe it’s our choice to make. We will define the terms “success”, “security” and “fulfillment”. We will set our own priorities, timelines and deadlines in life.

We will no longer wait to be rescued. We will no longer be victims. We will fill any emptiness we feel with genuine substance. We will never shy away from making brave decisions. We believe in self-exploration and self-awareness; we believe in the never ending pursuit of improvement. We will be patient, but we will not be idle. We get what we want in our lives by paying our dues and by striving for more.

We understand that if we don’t develop a strategy of our own, we will always be imprisoned by the strategies of others.

We know that with the power of education comes the responsibility to speak up for those who don’t have a voice.

We will give value and meaning to our lives and in effect give the whole world value and meaning. We will notice and appreciate what we have instead of focusing on what we don’t have. We will be grateful for every blessing that we are to receive. And in return for our blessings, we will give back to our communities.

We aim to build a community of intelligent women who are connected by shared interests and goals. We are the catalyst for change.

We continue in our quest to demolish the “glass ceiling” until it ceases to exist. We are all of this and much more. Are you one of us?


EDITOR'S NOTE

THE JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME

Hermann Hesse – a German/Swiss poet and novelist – said, "The true profession of man is to find his way to himself." Many believe that all the information of the world – our past, present and future – is stored in our subconscious. Renowned Austrian psychoanalyst Carl Jung referred to this as the "superconscious mind”. He believed that the collective wisdom and knowledge of all the ages is contained in this superconscious mind and is available to everyone.

sksolh@pushmag.me

Embarking on a self-awareness journey will help you know yourself on a subconscious level. And that is where your keys, switches and twitches lay. Self-help books and research that discuss this topic are widely available, but these books/ documents can only serve as support during this journey. Certainly, you will not find the answer to your happiness in a book (though maybe in a magazine!) The Alchemist was right: The answers are always within. To achieve happiness from without, you need to find happiness from within first. If you can’t find happiness within you, you will never find any external element that will bring you joy and fulfillment. Tapping into your subconscious mind as a method to become self-aware will help you point out your internal voids. Once those have been pinpointed, you can then analyze them. And as you reflect on your voids, you are able to think of the “substances" you would like to fill them with. Then you analyze those “substances”. We women love nothing more than to analyze. So analyze “you”! Trust me, you’ll get addicted! I started on my self-awareness journey a few years ago. I have found the greatest and most influential information I have ever come across while searching for ways to improve myself and find my purpose in life. During periods of analysis, I have been surprised by several strengths that I didn’t know I possessed. I started understanding my actions and reactions. I redefined my priorities based on my findings. I knew little about the self-awareness journey and knew nothing of its importance until I started losing interest in activities that I had previously found fun and exciting. Consequently, I eliminated those activities that consumed much of my energy and gave me nothing in return. I gave myself the gift of time in order to reflect on myself without feeling guilty that I am missing out on anything in the world. During that time, I questioned everything. I questioned my actions, my value system, and my moral and ethical beliefs. Questions hold the power to draw out answers that could surprise us. If we are on an inner journey to greater selfknowledge, we must seek to understand unfamiliar parts of

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ourselves. The most enlightening answers are released by our subconscious minds or by our intuition. So use questions frequently in order to explore your true self. All my efforts have doubled, if not tripled, my self-confidence, knowledge and belief in my own ability to achieve anything. The adventure of self-discovery was, and still is, the most entertaining, beneficial and important adventure of my life! But I’m only 30; I’ll let you know in ten years if any other adventure is as exciting as the self-awareness journey – but I doubt it. My confidence is derived from truly believing in the old cliché that happiness comes from within, no matter how old you are or what comes into your life. In addition to helping me define what my balanced life should comprise, self-awareness aided me in my day-to-day decision-making. I learned from a good friend, who has keen observations when it comes to these matters, that I respond better to questions that come with multiple-choice answers than I do to questions that are open-ended. This small piece of information has helped me tremendously in my decisionmaking at work and it has saved me a lot of time. So you can imagine how deeper discoveries have affected all other aspects of my life. People who have a good sense of who they are feel comfortable in their own skin. They don't spend their lives seeking other people’s approval. They don’t consume their own energy with continual self-doubt or retract in fear from challenges or from opportunities. They do not waste their lives by striving to fit everyone’s general concept of what “perfect” is. All the above is what causes people to get run down. Being self-aware will allow you to accept yourself and to understand that we all have unique talents and gifts, as well as shortcomings. And that we all have a purpose in the world that only we can fulfill. Additionally, people will recognize that life is a progressive journey and that one of the greatest privileges we have as human beings is the ability to change. And that is when you can take a deep breath and imagine all the possibilities. Some people will even start to appreciate themselves more. Only people who approve of themselves, accept themselves, respect themselves and like themselves can approve of, accept, respect, like and love others.

awareness throughout our issues. But we wanted to dedicate this issue to discuss the one question that, if answered well, holds the power to affect your life in a positive manner. And that question is: Who am I?

.....‫ لغة اإلعجاز‬.....‫ لغة األجداد‬......‫الى لغتي العربية‬ .‫ لغة الشعر واألدب الرفيع‬.....‫لغة التراث الفريد‬ ‫عليك كما‬ ‫كم كنت أمتنى وأغلب أبناء جيلي أن نحافظ‬ ِ ‫ فخسارتك تعادل أكثر من‬...‫كان ينبغي لنا أن نفعل‬ .‫خسارة شهادة أعلقها بفخر على احلائط‬ ‫إن معرفتي املتواضعة باللغة العربية كانت كافية لتدفعني‬ ‫ وأدركت حينذاك كم هي كبيرة‬،‫قدما ً لتحقيق ما اصبو إليه‬ .ً ‫خسارتي لو فقدت لغتي العربية متاما‬ ‫ لنتمكن من دفع حراك‬:‫أتوجه الى أخواتي العربيات وأقول‬ ‫حياة ثقافية بجوهرها الغني علينا احملافظة على لغة‬ ‫ وأتعهد من جهتي أن أهتم مبتحدثات اللغة العربية‬،‫أباءنا‬ ‫أو اللواتي يسعني لتحسينها وذلك عبر تضمني مجلة‬ .‫ بعض املقاالت واملواضيع باللغة العربية‬PUSH ‫وال بد لي أن أشير هنا الى أن إصدار مجلة لسيدات األعمال‬ ‫ فاجمللة ستساهم في حتسني‬،‫باللغة اإلنكليزية له فوائده‬ ‫مهارات االتصال مع الشركات العاملية وستسهل التواصل‬ ً ‫مع مجتمع األعمال الدولي ألنها أكثر اللغات تداوال ً وتأثيرا‬ .‫في عالم األعمال‬ Samia El-Solh Editor-In-Chief

Many books, psychologists and gurus will tell you that what you know and what you think you know are two completely different things. So, do you think you know who you are or do you truly know who you are? We will tackle the subject of selfpushmag.me

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//THE USUALS

FeedkcaB Hello PUSH Team. First, I would like to congratulate you, for you are really doing a great job. I have my own company in marketing and advertising, which I started two years ago. Being a woman, I suffered a lot to build my career - especially here in the KSA. You have all my support, as I know I have yours! R.O. - KSA

Congratulations on the successful launch of 'Push'. This magazine fills a wide gap in the publishing landscape of the region. I wish you all the best in your quest to establish a genuine platform for the professional/ corporate woman. Sandra Peters - Journalist, Lebanon Stunning first issue! We badly need such a mag to empower businesswomen. I am positive that you are so proud of yourself/your team to come up with such an inspiring concept. Christine Kashar - Sales & Marketing Manager, Syria I just got the magazine and I absolutely love it! You're doing such a great job; seriously, let us know how we can participate in any of your seminars and conferences. Sara - MBA student

‫ من أن‬PUSH ‫لتتمكن‬ ‫ نحتاج‬،‫تعكس واقعنا‬ ‫لسماع أرائكن‬

In order for PUSH to be a reflection of its manifesto, it needs your feedback and participation. Let us know what you think!

feedback@pushmag.me

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This magazine caters to a segment that has been ignored for quite some time: Intellectual Arab women! I can sit and sip my tea while reading about subjects

usually found in books. I can now read about those same subjects in a more entertaining way. You have managed to find a balance between magazines and books. You have a loyal reader! Hadeel - Kuwait


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// CULTIVATION

Mastering the

UNSPOKEN B o d y la n g u a g e c o u ld b o o s t o r im p e d e y o u r e it h e r c a re e r

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ou might think that business jargon is restricted to the boardroom, but there is a lot being said long after a meeting has been conducted. And even when the head honchos are not engaged in longer-than-necessary meetings, they’re saying more than they’re even aware of – and so are you. Body language, or non-verbal behavior, accounts for anywhere between 60 to 70 percent of the communication between people. Every physical expression (made consciously or subconsciously) conveys some form of message that can often reveal what is not being verbally spoken, and sometimes even differ with what is. The scary bit is that some people are completely oblivious to this form of communication. But it is important to know that body language could easily enhance or sabotage your corporate career. So how do you become fluent in body language? Being observant is the most obvious criteria, but the ability to read different clues in order to reach a conclusive evaluation is essential.

Standing

A person standing upright with her shoulders back and chin up is considered to be confident and at ease with herself. So when you stand, keep your back straight, middle section in alignment with your hips, shoulders back, and head up. This posture connotes comfort with yourself and ease in the situation. Slouching, sticking your belly out, stuffing your hands in your pockets, and folding your arms defensively all suggest aggressive unease.

Sitting

No other position conveys as much nonverbal behavior as sitting down. Think of the diversity of sitting positions that you've seen in business meetings, from practically horizontal (guess what this conveys) to alert and upright.

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The ideal position is to sit with a straight back and with your legs together in front of you or crossed, either at the knee or at the ankle. Normally, women don't cross their legs, but men are allowed. Avoid jiggling your knee, which is a sign of nervousness (and can be annoying to people sitting near you).

Hands

Some people talk with their hands, making sweeping gestures while others stand with their hands glued to their sides. Most people don’t have the faintest idea of what their hands are doing when they talk. Using your hands can be effective during some conversations and aggressive during others. Controlling your hands takes effort and willpower. Putting your hands behind your back is a strict no-no. Research shows that most people find the gesture untrustworthy. If we can't see what your hands are doing, we're suspicious. So if your goal is to increase trust in any given situation, avoid this gesture. A good deal of research over the years correlates hand gestures toward the lower part of the face with thinking – stroking the chin, propping the chin in the hand, putting a finger on the cheek. If thinking is a sign of intellectualism, we should presumably be demonstrating this trait by indulging in a lot of hand-to-face contact. Be careful though, when you keep your hand in front of your mouth, you appear hesitant and nervous.

Head

Head movements communicate important information. Nodding in agreement can be immensely helpful to others, but too much nodding makes you look like a bobblehead doll. Shaking your head can signal disagreement or disapproval, but avoid too much of it.

Face

Naturally, the part of your body that people will look at most is your face. Therefore,


No other position co nv as much non-verbal eys behavior as sitting do wn

Your eyes can indica te much more than you can imagine

Every physical expres consciously or subconsion (made some form of messag sciously) conveys reveal what is not be e that can often and sometimes even ing verbally spoken, differ with what is

facial expressions are crucial in your repertoire of body language. People smile for all sorts of reasons, only one of which is to signal happiness. There is the timid smile, the contempt smile, the dampened smile, the miserable smile, and a number of others. Nevertheless, smiles are important signals of generosity and nonaggression. But forced smiles signal that you can barely tolerate the other person and these are most easy to detect. Likewise, a frown can signal disagreement, disapproval, and sometimes anger. But it can also suggest hard thinking and focused concentration. These facial expressions are the most obvious ones, but hundreds of others exist: An arched eyebrow, flared nostrils, a bitten lip or a grimace. Every one of them has a different meaning, some of them obvious. But it is essential to keep an eye out for them. Speaking of which…

Eyes

You’ve heard it before – “the eyes are the windows to our souls”. And it is true. Your eyes can indicate much more than you can imagine. There is a persistent belief that people with shifty eyes are probably lying and that someone telling a lie tends to look away. This knowledge has resulted in another extreme: An unfortunate tendency for people making initial contact – in a job interview, for example – only to stare fixedly at the other person. This behavior is just as likely to make the interviewer uncomfortable. Most of us are comfortable with eye contact lasting a few seconds, but any eye contact that persists longer than that can make us nervous. We assume that there is something else going on – an attempt to initiate flirtatious behavior, perhaps. Indeed, studies on flirting show that prolonged eye contact is an early

step in the process. So the key is to maintain eye contact while talking but not stare at one person for extended periods, especially in a group. Also, do not study your hands or clean your fingernails while others are talking.

Voice

Hold on…voice communicating non-verbal behavior? Seems somewhat obvious. But it’s not what is being said, instead it is the tone in which it is conveyed that matters. You must always consider the communicator and the context carefully. A rising voice is associated with a variety of emotions, including anger, but also nervousness, fear, excitement, hysteria and others. It is believed that the speed in which a person speaks is often an indicator of deception. People talk at an average rate of 125 to 225 words per minute; at the upper end of that range, listeners typically find themselves beginning to resist the speaker. A more reliable form of speech is to speak slowly and not with too many pauses. By Neil Soans

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// CULTIVATION

MONEY MADAM PUSH YOUR FINANCES W

elcome to the first column of ‘Push your Finances’. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Money Madam. And I personally believe that we are all hardworking women, fighting our way up the corporate ladder or setting up our own businesses. This column belongs to all those who have made the important decision of working rather than opting for a comfortable lifestyle offered by a loving (or non-loving), generous (or not so generous) husband. In short, those of you who have decided to take ownership of their lives and become independent and utterly self-reliant. For those of you who have not paved such a path already, please take a seat and enjoy the show. Perhaps one day you might consider becoming a Samurai Housewife Trader or maybe follow a new trend in financial exploration. Whatever your background, you are more than welcome to join us on this exciting journey. The aim of this column is to show you how to make your money work for you in a more effective manner. And I will be talking about trading currencies, stocks and finding good financial products to invest your money in should you prefer passive instead of active investing. Whatever your circumstances, we are here to have some fun with money and to provide you with inspiration. We are here to lead you towards a larger nest egg. According to the Arab Human Development Report ‘Towards the Rise of Women in the Arab World’ (UNDP - 2005), the situation of women is not optimal in our region. If anything, our economic participation leaves much to be desired. We are hindered by a wide array of obstacles:

• A prevailing male culture that gives men priority in the job market due to values that “view women as dependent upon men”. • Scarcity of jobs due to slow economic development, leading to a higher unemployment rate for women than for men (especially as the population increases, with females taking the lead in terms of numbers.) Unfortunately, our increasing numbers is not being positively reflected via an increasing female workforce. • Employment and wage discrimination between the sexes. Women’s salaries are lower than that of men, especially for those with lower levels of education.

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Economic independence invariably leads to a louder voice in governments, which means a greater possibility to change dated and biased laws that hinder women’s rights to better economic opportunities

what we can do to push the envelope and find new ways to evolve as economic and social creatures. A small proportion of the population is self-employed; however, this is mainly a male-dominated arena. And while the UAE is currently holding the banner for female equality via improved working conditions, a narrowing wage gap between the two sexes, an increasing proportion of women in ministerial roles plus higher literacy rates for women as opposed to men, we still have a lot of work to do in the meantime.

• High reproductive rates due to a significant proportion of women marrying between the ages of 15 and 19. Palestine has the highest rates of early marriages and female illiteracy. The opposite pattern can be found in Tunisia, where there are low rates of early marriages and a high rate of economic participation.

One option is a “quiet”, micro revolution that could occur on an individual level, taking on a clear and well-defined plan for the betterment of our status as women in our countries. Small steps taken by an initial group of women could move mountains eventually. We can start by developing the investment skills that men have adopted with passion (while we women have taken a more relaxed and rather retrograde attitude to the whole process due to ingrained social habits.) I believe that if you take 10 women and train them well in the arts of money management, they could then create a ripple effect by supporting and helping 10 other women who would in turn follow suit. Building on our innate ability to encourage one another is vital. All we need is a positive and supportive environment in order for us to overcome all obstacles. So please join me on this monthly journey of self-empowerment and wealth accumulation via our individual and collective efforts.

• Laws hindering women, including those designed for their so-called “protection” – such as personal status and labour legislation, which restrict women’s freedom by requiring a father’s or a husband’s permission to work, travel or borrow from financial institutions. • Weak support services, such as transportation and child care infrastructure. • To top it all off, women in the Arab world are a major source of unpaid care for the family – allowing men to get on with their professional lives at the expense of the opposite sex. How do you like the sound of that? However, this data is not meant to deter you. If anything, it is meant to encourage you to find new ways to achieve economic empowerment. Economic independence invariably leads to a louder voice in governments, which means a greater possibility to change dated and biased laws that hinder women’s rights to better economic opportunities. Ironically, women are actually better positioned in public roles – where the gender gap is tightened and where equal treatment between the sexes is available – than in private ones. That is fine. But there is a declining trend in governmental roles due to the need for restructuring changes, as governments tackle budget deficits to fight off the hard economic times we are currently facing.

With employment being a major source of income in the Arab world and with arduous global economic conditions making it difficult for many to improve or maintain their current quality of life, we need to assess what we can do to push the envelope and find new ways to evolve as economic and social creatures

With employment being a major source of income in the Arab world and with arduous global economic conditions making it difficult for many to improve or maintain their current quality of life, we need to assess

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// CULTIVATION

WOMAN OF THE MONTH FATIMA AL-FIHRI

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riven by an intense desire to do righteous deeds and to improve the lives of those in her c o m m u n i t y, F a t i m a a l - F i h r i utilized her resources and financial inheritance to e s t a b l i s h t h e U n i ve r s i t y o f Al-Karaouine – cur rentl y r e g a r d e d by t h e G u i n n e s s Book of World Records as the oldest continuously operating institution of higher learning i n t h e wo r l d . T h e o r i g i n a l plan of al-Fihri was to build t he mosque of Al-Karaouine in t he Moroccan city of Fez (considered in the ninth century as one of the biggest in North Africa.) However, a university was soon incor porated into the mosque in the year 859. And over t he consecutive c e n t u r i e s , U n i ve r s i t y o f A l Karaouine gradually became a major spiritual and educational center in t he Muslim wor ld. Many a great thinker has been produced by t his university, which played an instrumental role in cultural and academic

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relations between the Islamic world and Europe. Medicine, m a t h e m a t i c s , a s t ro n o my, chemistry, history, geography, theology and music were among the subjects originally taught. Additional subjects such as natural sciences, physics and foreign languages were later added to the curriculum. Undoubtedly, AlFihri was light-years ahead of her time – a woman of great insight, fortitude, compassion and wisdom. No wonder she remains a source of inspiration for many women to this day.


BOOK OF THE MONTH

ANTHONY ROBBINS

AWAKEN THE GIANT WITHIN I

f a constitution for the personal transformation movement were to be formulated, Anthony Robbins would surely serve as an honorary member of the committee involved in the process. A man of sheer charisma, Robbins has coached and empowered a wide array of high profile figures – from presidents and politicians to athletes and entrepreneurs. His 500-page book ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ remains one of his most revered and impactful titles to date. Encapsulating the spirit of this bestseller is the desire to seize the day and live the life that you have always imagined by implementing tried and tested principles. And one of the telling stories in the book is the incident of the author’s flight to one of his sellout seminars in a helicopter; he looked down and noticed the building in which he worked as a janitor a decade earlier. Obviously, Robbins used this anecdote to drive home a point: His rise from a person of mediocrity and humble means to a man of riches and exceptional success is but a testimony to the effectiveness of the very principles he preaches. Themes covered in the book are many and include the effect of pain and pleasure on our lives. Those two “forces” could either control our lives or affect them positively, depending on the manner by which we link them with our thoughts and activities. Another great theme is how altering our “false beliefs” about the world, people and events could have a detrimental effect on our lives. After all, our beliefs about what certain events mean are what shape our lives – not the actual events. Robbins also highlights the power of questioning current limitations as a means to driving human progress. He also sheds light on the tremendous power that lay in clarity of purpose,

and explains the importance of determining exactly what you want to achieve and focusing on where you want to go – rather than on what you fear. Raising your standards and creating new rules, ones that will help you change your destiny, is also an important issue covered here. Robbins’ philosophy as conveyed in the book is simple: Pursuing our dreams is the only way for us to be truly alive. And money is secondary to achieving the aforementioned. Like other publications of this nature, ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ has provoked opposing views. One camp embraced Robbins’ core message on the ability to change one’s destiny. The other regarded this concept as too farfetched and unrealistic. If you belong to the latter camp, remember that there is no limit to what a mind infused with all the right thoughts and propelled by proper beliefs can do. This classic self-help title is undoubtedly a treasure trove of life-altering themes. And whether you find the idea of changing your destiny and achieving the life of your dreams implausible or within reach, ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ is sure to expand your mind with its fascinating stories, facts and principles.

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// CULTIVATION

HOW ACCELERATED LEARNING TECHNIQUES COULD POSITIVELY AFFECT YOUR LIFE AND CAREER

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ll women are beautiful – each one in her own special way. Some might be more physically appealing when compared to others. And some might have that dynamic character that is bot h engaging and captivating. Only f ew are lucky to have both assets. Yet, there is a side that most women – and men – disregard knowingly or other wise. And that is developing one’s mental faculties. Maybe this stems from the false belief that we are all born with fixed capabilities in that regard; our performance at school/university is but a testament to this fact. Indeed, a select few are natural-born geniuses – no one is denying it. But that does not mean that the rest of us cannot work towards developing, honing and refining our mental capabilities. Imagine being able to read reports, emails and even books several times faster than your normal speed and yet achieve higher levels of comprehension! Well

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no need to imagine, for this can be done. One could also improve her memory to remember vital facts that could mean the difference between excelling and struggling in her career. Just imagine how much better life would be – both on personal and professional levels – if you managed to develop your mental capacities continuously. Undoubtedly, you would become more effective, making your life and the life of those around you much easier – not to mention more prosperous. However, bear in mind that the purpose of this article in PUSH magazine is not to teach you how to boost your mental capacities but to let you understand that this could be done. The objective here is to shed light on the realm of accelerated learning techniques, for the subject is too vast and dense to be squeezed into a single article. Here, a brief explanation of some of the popular techniques is presented. Additionally, certain books that could help in that regard are recommended.

“A s t o n i s h i n g l y, y o u a r e c a p a b l e o f remembering every piece of information that you have ever been exposed to in your life. This is a scientific fact.”

TO REMEMBER AND EXCEL

Why having a powerful memory is important, you might wonder. Well, being able to remember facts, details and “things to do” would surely make your life easier. Our days are so replete with projects, appointments, discussions, meetings and others that remembering specific details becomes almost impossible. Moreover, how could one learn new skills or improve existing ones if she cannot remember facts properly? Astonishingly, you are capable of remembering every piece of information that you have ever been exposed to in your life. This is a scientific fact. But we need to make a distinction between memory and recall. Your brain stores everything in your memory and recalls only what it needs or what has meaning in life. One of the best ways to enjoy a good memory is by constantly doing new things in your life. Novel experiences like visiting a new region/countr y, savoring an exotic dish and marveling at artworks you have never seen before create landmarks in your memory. Landmarks are events we experience that are interesting, new and exciting – ones that serve as links to other bits of information in the memory chain. One of the reasons why elders suffer from poor memory is that – unlike the young – the number of new landmarks in their lives recedes. The older we get, the more we tend to become set in our ways – following the same routine and doing the same things every day. So always take the opportunity to enjoy a new experience. By living life to the max, you create new memory links – increasing the likelihood of recalling all kinds of facts, events and new information.

“Better memory, faster reading capability and higher comprehension levels are sure to have significant impact on your life and career.”

Memory techniques in brief

Association: When you associate items in your memory, you could improve your recalling capacity. Association forms the basis of most memory techniques. You could use simple associations to recall isolated pieces of information, and more complex ones to remember difficult theories and bodies of information that contain many small and interrelated bits of data. When meeting people for the first time, we tend to have a hard time remembering their names the next time we meet them. A simple form of association solves this problem: Just focus on a physical feature that the person might have such as a shiny baldhead. Link this feature to the name of the person – like bald Brahim. You could go one-step further by imagining bald Brahim hanging out with Bruce Willis (a bald actor) and both are enjoying Sheesha. And you could bet that the next time you meet Brahim, you will have no problem recalling his name. Making the conscious effort to link the name of the person to something visual helps your mind to conjure the same visual association the next time you meet him/her; consequently, recalling the name becomes easy. And the more funny, outrageous and colorful the association is the better. Linking: Sometimes you might need to memorize a list of facts/terms that seem unrelated. What you can do is link them together in a seemingly silly story, focusing on sensory descriptions and emotional aspects. Being outrageous in creating this story is recommended. The peg system: This system is used to memorize any list of items. A list of numbers that are matched up with rhyming words or visual cues is used as a constant, which becomes firmly planted in your memory. And the list of items you need to memorize is plugged into your peg list. Again, the system works best when associations are colorful, exaggerated, imaginative and absurd. Other memory techniques include the Location Method, Creative Sentences, Acronyms and Mind-Mapping.

Recommended reading

‘How to Develop a Superpower Memory’ by Harry Lorayne

SPEED OF LIGHT

If you were told that one could read as much as 3850 words per minute with 80 percent comprehension and above, you would certainly laugh hysterically. Well, Sean Adams does not find that farfetched, for he is the one who boasts the aforementioned record. To be able to achieve such a feat, one needs to unlearn many of pushmag.me

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// CULTIVATION

“If you were told that one could read as much as 3850 words per minute with 80 percent comprehension and above, you would certainly laugh hysterically. Well, Sean Adams does not find that farfetched, for he is the one who boasts the aforementioned record.” the misconceptions that she has been exposed to like one should not use the finger while reading or that reading should be done one word at a time. Another misconception is that one needs to read slowly in order to comprehend the material. Using your finger – or better yet, a chopstick – to guide your eye is recommended while reading. Moreover, training your eyes to take in chunks of words instead of focusing on one word at a time would increase your reading speed tremendously. Surely, other elements contribute to increasing your speed like being in the right mindset, minimizing internal and external distractions, previewing the material before reading and others. And there are elements that increase the comprehension levels like creating mind maps. Programs that teach speed-reading techniques focus on improving your peripheral vision to take in more information at each glance. Gaining control of your eye movement is imperative in increasing your reading speed and comprehension levels.

Recommended reading:

‘The Speed Reading Book’ by Tony Buzan

REALIZING YOUR FULLEST POTENTIAL

So as you can see now, the brain could be developed. What you need to do is focus on training your mind regularly in order to utilize as much of your brainpower as possible. Better memory, faster reading capability and higher comprehension levels are sure to have significant impact on your life and career. You could start today by acquiring either the books we recommend in this article or any other book that tackles the subject of accelerated learning techniques. But one cannot achieve substantial results without being committed. Unless you stay motivated and practice regularly, the results are not going to be worthwhile. You could liken this matter to dieting. The best diet regimen in the world is not going to help you burn body-fat unless you commit to it. To remain motivated, it helps that you create deep interest

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in accelerated learning techniques. And you can do that by listing all the benefits derived from learning such methods. For example, one of the benef its could be being able to read so many reports and emails in half the time it usually takes you to do so – that leaves you with spare time to do other things. And being able to memorize things effectively means you are able to learn new skills faster than ever – giving you that edge in your domain. Becoming a lifelong learner is a sure way to continue evolving as a human being on all levels. By Richard Labaki


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he 21st century belongs to women, for they are no longer “slightly” active in politics, business or even in fields traditionally dominated by men. Women are currently leading the way. The rising power of the gentler sex is best reflected in the 2010 list of 100 most powerful women, which was presented by ‘Forbes’. Four Arab women, three of which are from Gulf countries, are in the list. The U.S. first lady Michelle Obama topped the list, while 51-year-old Sheikha Lubna Al Qassimi (UAE’s minister of foreign trade) was voted the most powerful Arab woman – receiving the 70th position. The top ten included a diverse group of women covering business, media, politics and entertainment. In business, chief executive of Kraft Foods Irene Rosenfeld ranked second. Chief executive of PepsiCo Indra Nooyi ranked sixth, while chief executive of Westpac Gail Kelly ranked eighth. In politics, German Chancellor Angela Merkel ranked fourth, while U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton ranked fifth. And in

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the media world, Oprah Winfrey ruled at third position, while singers Lady Gaga and Beyonce Knowles ranked seventh and ninth respectively. Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres made it to the tenth spot. W h i l e t h ey m a y n o t b e i n t h e t o p t e n , A ra b women who are in the list are among the most recognizable faces in the region and the world. Alongside Sheikha Lubna, 50-year-old Sheikha Mozah (the first lady of Qatar) was ranked 74 th , followed by 40-year-old Queen Rania of Jordan in 76 th place. And 50-year-old Maha al Ghunaim, Kuwaiti businesswoman, is in the 94 th spot. Whether they were born into royalty or they are members of an influential family, these women used their titles and connections for the greater good. And they established themselves as role models in their own countries – inspiring women from all walks of life to come forth for support and patronage. Upon hearing the news of being voted the most powerful Arab woman, Sheikha Lubna used the opportunity to address Arab women, particularly Emirati women,


calling on them to show greater “diligence and creativity” and to move forward. “There is a keen interest in advancing women's role in social and economic development within the UAE's leadership,” said Sheikha Lubna in a released statement. The princess from Sharjah’s ruling family, is also the UAE‘s first female cabinet minister. Forbes crowned Sheikha Lubna as “a regional power in her own right,” and how as “an observant Muslim” she continuously fights to improve the rights of women in the region. Sheikha Mozah, who made headlines a few months ago for criticizing overspending on weapons instead of education, won her place for “actively working to fight domestic violence, improve children's labor rights and give the disabled more access to jobs.” Queen Rania, who is also the Queen of “social media” with more than 1.3 million followers on Twitter and more than 300,000 fans on Facebook, won her place for her humanitarian work and efforts in “bridging gaps between the U.S. and the Middle East.” Sheikha Lubna ranked 94 and Queen Rania ranked 95 in the 2009

list. Even royalty have to “push” and work their way up in the list. The only non-royal figure in the list, Maha al Ghunaim (chair and co-founder of Global Investment House in Kuwait, one of the largest in the region) got her place for her efforts in tackling the economic downturn and investments in the area. We might have read about strong Arab women who lived in previous centuries – particularly in lessons on Islamic history. But it is only in this century that Arab women went beyond their local realm and established their presence on the international arena. Overall, the fact that they could find 100 women to include in the list is an accomplishment in itself for women of the world. As for us Arab women, there is nothing stopping us from claiming many of the positions in the list – though it might seem an impossible feat to some. There are, after all, 100 seats. By Ala Sharara

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// CULTIVATION

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// GEEK CHIC

E-COMMERCE FROM HYPE TO REALITY

DEFINITION: E-commerce (electronic commerce or EC) is the buying and selling of goods and services on the Internet. In practice, this term and a newer one, e-business, are often used interchangeably.

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he Internet has created a new economic ecosystem; the e-commerce marketplace, and by all counts, has become a major avenue in trading. Providing an uncluttered, quick and safe way of buying an array of goods and services, both regionally and globally, e-commerce has taken its rightful place as a virtual platform that is now vital for our lives. Today, e-commerce has grown into a huge industry with US online retail generating no less than Billion US$185 in revenues last year alone – with consumerdriven online transactions impacting industries from travel services to consumer electronics, and from books to sports and fitness. In comparison, the Middle East and Gulf combined have not done badly, generating close to Million US$250 worth of sales conducted at online retailers in the GCC – registering an increase

of around 600 percent compared to the previous year. Visa International for instance has reported a large increase in volumes of online shopping across Middle East e-merchants for the last couple of years. The world's leading payment association reported that increasing numbers of retailers are responding to a growing consumer demand to shop online. Leading the way in the Middle East and GCC remains t h e Un i t e d A r a b E m i r a t e s , attracting more than 85 percent of both the total number and value of regional transactions. In fact, the total number of transactions made at UAE merchants rose five fold in the same period. Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Qatar and Bahrain also experienced as


much as fifteen fold growth in the number of transactions. Kamran Siddiqi, General Manager, Middle East, Visa International, says, "The rising number of transactions is an indication of the growing comfort level of Visa cardholders have when they make online payments. The most popular way to pay online is using a Visa card, and we are committed to providing a secure online payment environment for cardholders when they shop from the comfort of their home or office at anytime."

Visa Inter national for instance has reported a large increase in volumes of online shopping across Middle East e-merchants for the last couple of years Meanwhile, executives from Tejari (the Middle East's premier business-to-business electronic marketplace) recently led discussions on the opportunities and challenges facing e-business adoption. "The Middle East and North Africa are the fastestgrowing regional markets for e-business, and Tejari is at the forefront of that growth,” says Omar Hijazi, Tejari's CEO. Hijazi even called for further adoption of Internet procurement principles across the region during his recent address at the e-business workshop held in Dubai.

“The Middle East and No r t h A f r i c a a r e t h e fastest-growing regional markets for e-business” With more than millions of consumers using the Internet on a daily basis for private and/ or business use, e-commerce's global growth curve is not likely to wane down anytime soon. However, the US recession as that of the ripple effect to the world’s economy has indeed seen a decline in online sales.

In the last few years, many startup e-commerce companies have rapidly shifted market share from traditional retailers and service providers, pressuring these established powerful players to deploy their own commerce websites. Case in point would be to order Baba Sweets from Sidon, Lebanon and have them sent by DHL all the way to Iowa City in the US! However, this ef fect is most prominent in travel services and consumer electronics. R oughly 46 percent of all travel bookings currently occur online. Consumer electronics, which includes the purchase of cameras, mobile phones and home PCs follow a close second. It is important to note that most e-commerce players are at a competitive advantage to retailers. T h e y h ave l owe r o p e r a t i n g expenses and better inventory management due to operating in a virtual commerce environment. And the best case study will have to be Amazon.com. As a place for direct retail shopping, with its 24hour availability, a global reach, the ability to interact and provide custom information and ordering, and multimedia prospects, nothing even comes close. In fact, what’s interesting is that global research shows that a 10 percent increase in electronic p ay m e n t s i n a c o u n t r y c a n generate a 0.5 percent increase in all consumer spending.

SO, HOW WOULD YOU GO ABOUT IT IF YOU WERE TO SET SAIL AND SET UP YOUR OWN E-COMMERCE C O M PA N Y ? Same Same!

Developing a business over the Internet requires many of the same major activities as starting any other business. And so, you should do some basic business planning.

Website-Necessary!

Yes, that’s one that you can’t evade, which is having your own website. It is probably crucial to have an online administrator to constantly update the site and pay attention to the numerous variables.

It is important to note that most e-commerce players are at a competitive advantage to retailers

Some, Not All!

There are some features unique to e-commerce. Not all products are totally compatible to be sold over the Internet. They may require a lot of face-to-face selling or cost a lot in shipping. F o r e x a mp l e , p u r c h a s i n g a wedding dress online is becoming the norm while purchasing a property is not!

Online Store

Your store will need a “merchant” account, or the ability to process your customers' credit card transactions over the Internet. This includes needing a “secure server” – ensuring that clients' credit card numbers are protected.

Sell Sell

In order to sell, you would need to promote your site, your services and your brand(s). And if all work in harmony, in that you have a good quality and in-demand brand, a user-friendly website and prompt and secure transactions, then sky is the limit – or better still, the online realm is limitless! By Penelope Trunk


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Proof that the “Influentials” are not influential

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ON'T GET DUNC AN WATTS S TA RT E D O N T H E H U S H P U P P I E S . "OH GOD," HE GROANS WHEN T H E S U B J E C T C O M E S U P. " N O T T H E M . ” THE HUSH PUPPIES IN QUESTION ARE T H E O N E S T H AT K I C K O F F ‘ T H E T I P P I N G P O I N T ’ – M A LC O L M G L A DW E L L ' S PA S T B E S T S E L L E R A B O U T H OW T R E N D S WO R K . AS GL ADWELL TELLS IT, THE FUZZY F O OT W E A R WA S A DY I N G B R A N D BY L AT E 19 94 – U N T I L A F E W N E W YO R K H I P S T E R S BROUGHT IT BAC K FROM THE BRINK. O T H E R FA S H I O N I S T A S F O L L O W E D S U I T , WHEREUPON THE COOL KIDS COPIED THEM, THE LESS-COOL KIDS COPIED THEM, AND SO ON , UNTIL, VOILÀ! WITHIN T WO YEARS, SALES OF HUSH P U P P I E S H A D E X P LO D E D BY A S T U N N I N G 5,000%, WITHOUT A PENNY SPENT ON ADVERTISING. ALL THIS OCCURRED BEC AUSE OF A FEW SUPER -INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE, WHO BEGAN WEARING THE S H O E S . T H E S E TA S T E M A K E R S , G L A DW E L L C O N C LU D E D , A R E T H E S PA R K B E H I N D ANY SUCCESSFUL TREND. "WHAT WE A R E R E A L LY S AY I N G , " H E W R I T E S , " I S T H AT I N A G I V E N P R O C E S S O R S Y S T E M , SOME PEOPLE MATTER MORE THAN OTHERS.”

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In modern marketing, this idea – that a tiny cadre of connected people triggers trends – is enormously seductive. It is the very premise of viral and wordof-mout h campaigns: Reac h t hose rare, all-power ful folks, and you'll reach everyone else through them – for free. Loosely, this is referred to as the “Influentials” theory. And while it has been a marketing touchstone for 50 years, it has recently reentered the mainstream imagination via thousands of marketing studies and a host of best-selling books. In addition to ‘The Tipping Point’, there was ‘The Influentials’ by marketing gurus Ed Keller and Jon Berr y. According to MarketingVOX, an online marketing news journal, more than $1 billion is spent a year on word-of-mout h campaigns targeting “Influentials”. Yet, if you believe Watts, all that money and effort is being wasted. Because according to him, “Influentials” have no such effect.


In the past few years, Watts – a network-theor y scientist who recently took a sabbatical from Columbia University and is now working for Yahoo – has performed a series of controversial experiments challenging the whole “Influentials” thesis. He has analyzed email patterns and found that highly connected people are not, in fact, crucial social hubs. He has written computer models of rumor spreading and found that your average slob is just as likely as a well-connected person to start a huge trend. Any attempt to engineer success through “Influentials”, he argues, is almost certainly doomed to failure. Not everyone appreciates the mind bomb Watts has tossed into their midst. But a growing group of marketers believes Watts is radically altering the way companies attempt to produce trends.

In modern marketing, this idea – that a tiny cadre of connected p e o p l e t r ig g e r s t r e n d s – i s enormously seductive ‘The Tipping Point’ laid out many factors that can "tip" a trend. And as the book climbed the charts, marketers fixated on Gladwell's Law of the Few, his suggestion that rare, highly connected people shape the world. For anyone involved in “pitchmanship”, it was an electrifying notion, one that took a highly complex phenomenon and made it simple. Reach the gatekeepers, and you reach the world. But Watts didn't think the gatekeeper model was true. It certainly didn't match what he'd found studying networks. “Influentials” don't govern person-to-person communication. We all do. The more Watts examined the theory of “Influentials”, the less sense it made to him. The problem, he explains, is that it's incredibly vague. None of its proponents ever clearly explains how an “Influential” actually influences. In ‘The Influentials’, Keller and Berry argue that trendsetters draw their social power from being active in their communities. Their peers naturally turn to them for advice. Gladwell, for his part, argues that trends

spread like diseases; “Influentials” are the vectors who amplify and propagate the infection. Fair enough, as a top-down view. But it's murky. And for Watts, this is a critical flaw because precision matters when you're trying to explain highly social epidemics. Merely arguing that influence spreads like a disease isn't enough, because, he says, diseases spread in very different ways. Some require multiple exposures; some don't. As Watts argues, there are many ways an Influential could convert the masses. Merely talking to a friend once could infect her with an idea. Or it might take several conversations. Or maybe “Influentials” are so persuasive they're like trend vampires, and each victim they bite becomes hyper-persuasive too. Depending on how you define the specific mechanics of influence, you'd get totally different types of epidemics – or maybe none at all. But gurus of the “Influentials” theory never directly clarify these mechanics. "All they'll ever say," Watts insists, is that a) There are people who are more influential than others, and b) They are disproportionately important in getting a trend going. Watts believes that a trend's success depends not on the person who starts it, but on how susceptible the society is overall to the trend – not how persuasive the early adopter is, but whether everyone else is easily persuaded. "If society is ready to embrace a trend, almost anyone can start one – and if it isn't, then almost no one can," Watts concludes. To succeed with a new product, it's less a matter of finding the perfect hipster to infect and more a matter of gauging the public's mood. Sure, there'll always be a first mover in a trend. But since she generally stumbles into that role by chance, she is, in Watts's terminology, an "accidental Influential." Perhaps the problem with viral marketing is that the disease metaphor is misleading. Watts thinks trends are more like forest fires: There are thousands a year, but only a few become roaring monsters. That's because in those rare situations, the landscape was


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Because Big Seed marketing harnesses the power of large numbers of ordinary people, its success does not depend on “Influentials” or on any other special individuals

ripe: Sparse rain, dry woods, badly equipped fire departments. If these conditions exist, any old match will do. "And nobody," Watts says wryly, "will go around talking about the exceptional properties of the spark that started the fire."

Is there any way to infect people intentionally with an idea or a product? Watts believes there is In contrast, Keller argues his firm has studied tens of thousands of “Influentials” by identifying people highly active in their communities – an elite 10 percent that engage in advice-giving conversation up to five times more frequently than the average person. In the 20 years he has been polling them, Keller has found they began using computers, mobile phones and the Internet years before the mainstream. What's more, his polls have found that more than two-thirds of people who get word-of-mouth product recommendations either buy something based on it, or plan to. Mind you, Watts does agree that some people are more instrumental than others. He simply doesn't think it's possible to will a trend into existence by recruiting highly social people. The network effects in society, he argues, are too complex to work that way. If it were just a matter of tipping the crucial first adopters, why can't most companies do it reliably? Joe Pilotta, research VP for a firm called Big Research (and one of Watts' bigger fans), suspects marketers cling to their belief in ‘Influentials’ partly because they're lazy. They love the idea of needing to reach only a small group of people to "tip" a product, he says with a laugh. If “Influentials” cannot tip a trend into existence – and if success in a networked society is quite random – what's a poor marketer to do? Is there any way to infect people intentionally with an idea or a product? Watts believes there is. In the past three years, he has worked on a new form of advertising he calls Big Seed marketing (this is part of his work at Yahoo where he is a principal research scientist.) Watts developed the concept with a friend, Jonah Peretti, a veteran of the viral wars.

The concept argues that instead of relying purely on viral marketing or mass media marketing alone, Big Seed marketing combines the two approaches so that a large initial audience spreads the marketing message to a secondary audience, yielding more overall interest than either approach would have by itself – even if the message weren’t that contagious. Because Big Seed marketing harnesses the power of large numbers of ordinary people, its success does not depend on “Influentials” or on any other special individuals. Consequently, managers can dispense with the probably fruitless exercise of predicting how, or through whom, contagious ideas will spread. By Pierce Benedict


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D

o you remember when your parents got you that cute piggy bank in hopes of instilling in you the habit of putting money aside? Surely, you got excited at first and started depositing coins regularly. But for some reason, you lost your enthusiasm soon after. And then you grew up to be an intelligent person. Nevertheless, your intelligence seems to come up with a multitude of reasons as to why you are unable to save money and put it aside as a safety net for a rainy day, as cash for long-term investments or as a way to help you purchase that ultra expensive Louis Vuitton bag without feeling guilty. Think about it for a second: Wouldn’t it be great to achieve financial freedom and be able to generate income without needing a job? You would have no financial

PAY YOURSELF FIRST //32

worries, as your savings/investments would cover all your costs of living – from food, rent, clothing and taxes to travel, leisure, entertainment and enjoying the finer things in life. Moreover, your life would no longer be constricted by debts. The mere thought of not having to rely on anyone for your income might sound too good to be true, but it is attainable – even if it might take some time. And saving money could surely help you achieve this vision.

At one point all the moneyinthyour life, would have sa at you form the safetyved will the springboardnet or from which to laun independencech a life of

A 5000-yearold method for saving money & creating financial freedom


each month, but saving even monthly income is a bit less than that amount – say five percent will be good as long $1800. What this means is that you are short $200 each The Riches of Babylon as you stick to this policy. month. The apparent question here is how is it possible Now that we have established the to pay yourself first when faced with such a situation. In importance of putting money aside The concept of paying yourself this case, remember that there are several instances by in order to achieve financial freedom, first is not new. Actually, it dates which people suffered pay cuts by 20 or 30 percent and to prepare for emergencies and to back 5000 years as shown by yet managed to survive and pay their bills. They simply use for “emotional spending”, let us clay tablets unearthed in the city figured out how to live on less. discuss the two available methods of Babylon. The tablets tell the So imagine this scenario occurring to you, and put for saving money. The first method story of a man who had to flee aside that imagined “lost money” in the form of savings. is to pay all your expenses first and the city due to financial troubles, Putting aside even meager amounts like $200 each then save whatever is left. However, and how he returned to clean month could make a difference in your life. From a and as in most cases, you seldom up his mess. Also mentioned in psychological standpoint, the $200 that is now yours have any money left after paying all the tablets are stories on how could encourage you to generate more money because your bills and expenses. The second people were taught to handle now you see that you can have some of it for yourself method is to adopt a “save first” money, the excuses they had, – instead of just paying bills with it. You are no longer policy – or what is referred to as “pay and the steps needed to make acting as a financial bridge, with money only flowing yourself first”. This method involves a fortune. What is remarkable through you – from one end to the next. putting aside a sizable percentage is the fact that the principles of of your income – anywhere from 10 creating wealth are the same Paid Myself First; Now What? to 25 percent – before paying your today as they were 5000 years You have finally agreed to pay yourself first. Now what expenses/bills. ago. And paying yourself first is do you do? It would be ideal to put aside around 25 one of the pillar principles. Only percent of your monthly income. But any allocation This approach might seem 10 percent of the Babylonians is better than nothing. You can use 40 percent of the counterintuitive or illogical. But bear had the discipline to pay saved money for long-term savings or investments. in mind that many entrepreneurs, themselves first and yet they And there are numerous ways to do so. You could put businesspeople and financial created one of the wealthiest it into a mutual fund by dollar-cost-averaging, a life experts adopt this method with city-states in the ancient world. insurance policy, or you could save it up for the down outstanding results. Some people payment on a piece of real estate. This 40 percent will might refute this method by arguing The Psychological Implication never leave your hands again, unless it’s going into a that they have so much debt to pay Convincing yourself to pay certain investment. off or high expenses and cannot yourself first might be difficult do it right now. But waiting for initially. But ask yourself this And the remaining 60 percent of the saved money could later to put money aside will cost question: Do you deserve to be used for emergencies or “emotional spending”. Half you in ways you might have never own some of the money that of that 60 percent could be used for an emergency – the considered. Maybe you cannot put you are making? Your answer things you are rarely prepared for like the car breaking aside 25 percent of your income is probably a resounding “yes”. down or the unexpected medical expense. This practice e Regardless of the slight increase helps you avoid using the credit card in emergencies. eal to put asird It would be id u yo f o t n e rc or decrease in your monthly And the other half of the 60 percent could be used for e p 25 d aroun e. But any thing expenses, you need to consider “emotional spending” – buying something/paying for a m o c in ly th n o o n m etter than yourself a priority. service and not feeling guilty about it or worrying about allocation is b disrupting your financial status. saved Now let us assume that your You can use 40 percent of the or s ing sav monthly overall expenses rm g-te money for lon amount to $2000, and that your investments. And the remaining

60 percent of the saved money could be used for emergencies or “emotional spending” At one point in your life, all the money that you would have saved will form the safety net or the springboard from which to launch a life of independence. Your savings will create the opportunity to generate income so that you no longer have to work – unless you choose to. You could have saved enough money to start your own business or to make use of the real estate that you buy. Many people benefit from the compounding interest they get from life insurance policies or from investing in bonds/ stocks/mutual funds and others. When it comes to paying yourself first, the Babylonians had it right all along. So how about you start on this path today by adopting what has been proven effective for 5,000 years! By Raja Sfeir pushmag.me

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// SUBSTANCE

INVEST IN THE

VERY BEST

SELECTING, TRAINING AND SUPPORTING YOUR SALES MANAGERS

New sales managers need lots of feedback on their management work in the months immediately following promotion

Sales managers make a difference to your company every day – and in many ways. They help top achievers produce even more. They help high-potential salespeople develop into stars, and they weed out the underperformers who can't make the grade. You would think that you'd want to pick the best sales managers you could find, give them the training they need and support them. But in many companies, that simply doesn't happen. The majority of sales management staff actually has three things in common:

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• They were promoted for the wrong reasons. • They received no training in supervisory or management skills. • They have people working for them. That means that if they sink instead of swim, they can take an entire sales team to the bottom with them. But it doesn't have to be this way. To change things, you need to pick people who have a chance at being successful managers, give them training in supervisory skills and give them the support they need to grow and develop as managers. PICK THE RIGHT PEOPLE Top salespeople often make poor sales managers. Yet, they are

the ones whom are frequently promoted by many companies. So instead of looking at sales success alone, consider the following: - Pick people who like helping others succeed. That's a big part of any manager's job. So select candidates who've gone out of their way to help others and seem to be good at it. - Pick people who are willing to talk to others about behavior and performance. This is a tough one, for many salespeople have a strong need to be liked. - Pick people who are willing to make decisions. You can't teach this skill. You can teach techniques to improve decisionmaking, but your candidat e needs to show up willing to make


You need to pick people who have a chance at being successful managers, give them training in supervisory skills and give them the support they need to grow and develop as managers

decisions – and be willing to be held accountable for them. - Pick suitable candidates. I've found a difference between retail and industrial selling. In industrial sales management, the manager spends less time with his or her salespeople than the retail sales manager, who works the floor and usually sells. The difference is important when you're considering someone for promotion. In retail, you want a person who delights in helping others and who is a great salesperson. That's because she is on the floor all the time. How the sales manager sells sets the example for everyone on daily basis. - Pick people with integrity – another one of those things that you can't teach. You have to be able to trust your managers. And their team members have to be able to trust them as well. - Pick people who like to learn. A good sales manager will a l wa y s b e l e a r n i n g . H e o r she will learn about technical matters, sales techniques and supervisory skills.

- Give them training in supervisory skills. Get a bunch of top company executives and ask them what they do to train their salespeople and the noise level in the room rockets upward as they describe one thing after another. Ask those same executives what they do to train their sales managers in management and the room goes silent. - Supervising salespeople is a distinct kind of work. To do it well, you have to shift your thinking from being an individual salesperson on a team to being the leader of the team. - Help them understand their new role. New sales managers need to learn the basic tools; they need to practice them in exercises before they go back on the job. - Help them identify good role models and possible mentors. - Help them put together their own development program. New sales managers will leave their first training with most of their learning still in front of them. Give them tools and connections that will help them learn on the job. - Give them the support they need to grow and develop. Supervising others is an apprentice trade. You learn a small portion of it in classrooms and from books. But you learn most of it from others and on the job.

It takes 12 to 18 months for most new sales managers to settle into their new role and their new job

- Give your sales managers lots of feedback. Feedback is the key to improved performance. New sales managers need lots of feedback on their management work in the months immediately following promotion. - Help them connect with peers. Strong peer groups can help a new sales manager receive advice, feedback and support. - Bring them back for frequent training during the transition period. My research says that it takes 12 to 18 months for most new sales managers to settle into their new role and their new job. During that time, training on analyzing performance issues can really help. Sales managers don't just have an impact on the top line by increasing sales. They also have an impact on the bottom line by reducing turnover and keeping selling expenses under control. They're important, so make sure you train and support them properly By Wally Bock pushmag.me

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// FEATURE

The Great Unknown Know thyself in order for your life to unfold

An unexamined life is not worth living. Even if you have never been a fan of philosophy, you probably agree with Socrates on his aforementioned statement. But before you can examine your life, you probably need to comprehend who you truly are as a person – what drives you to move forward, what desires stir your heart and what actually gives meaning to your existence. You also need to understand what aspects of your psyche might be impeding your progress on many levels and standing in the way of realizing your dreams. Surely, you can never achieve your fullest potential and experience life the way you want unless you truly delve deep within and cultivate self-awareness. Ironically, many of us are too occupied with learning about the ways of the world – focusing our attention on how to master a skill or learning about a certain topic – while we never attempt to learn about who we are as individuals! Consequently, we never realize what genuinely makes us whole and happy. But developing self-awareness enables us to become active participants in the unfolding of our lives. When you understand how your emotions affect your output in both your personal and professional life and

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83 percent of people high in self-awareness are top performers

when you realize how your thinking patterns influence your mood, you gradually gain mastery over yourself. When you understand why you behave the way you do and from where certain impulses arise, or what triggers certain behaviors, you embark on a life-altering journey of unlearning negative responses and building upon positive ones. Whether you realize it or not, the life that you are currently experiencing is in many ways a direct result of your thoughts, emotions and behaviors. The Driving Desires In his book ‘Who Am I?’, Steven Reiss argues that humans are driven by 16 basic desires, which when understood form powerful tools for stimulating selfdiscover y and self-awareness. Most importantly, understanding and fulf illing these desires help boost our ability to gain value-based happiness (a sense that life is meaningful) as opposed to feelgood happiness, which refers to the experience of pleasant sensations (being desired, having lots of money, enjoying great health and indulging in a hedonistic lifestyle.) Knowledge of our 16 basic desires can help us gain insight into who we are and why we do what we do.


Knowledge of our 16 basic desires can help us gain insight into who we are and why we do what we do

Consequently, we can figure out how our life goals are connected to them. Individuals vary in how intensely each desire is experienced; no two people have exactly the same potential for a particular desire. The 16 basic desires include Power (the desire to influence others), Independence (the desire for self-reliance), Curiosity (the desire for knowledge), Order (the desire for organization), Social Contact (the desire for companionship) and Tranquility (the desire for emotional calm). Every human being places a different level of importance on each desire. You may feel that Power, Independence and Order are most important, while your husband might feel that Social Contact, Tranquility and Curiosity are what matters. The way in which you prioritize these 16 desires is what makes you unique. Reiss shows in his book how to recognize the 16 basic desires in everyday life, and presents means to fulfill them through relationships, work, family, sports and spirituality. Our desire profile may not tell us everything we want to know about ourselves, but what it reveals to us is very important for understanding behavior and happiness.

On a Track to Self-Awareness Nowadays, life is becoming so fast-paced and severely demanding that we tend to forget to look at who we truly are and where we are heading in life. Buried under heaps of chores and duties, we frantically juggle various responsibilities. Only traumas and major events jolt us out of this semirobotic existence and make us ponder. But having to wait for circumstances to push us into contemplating who we are is not wise. Daniel Goleman, author of the bestseller book ‘Emotional Intelligence’, emphasizes the importance of actively developing self-awareness. He also argues that self-awareness is the vital skill for emotional competencies that distinguish star performers in today’s workplace. He indentifies three interrelated skills needed for self-awareness: (1) Emotional Awareness – knowing how our emotions affect our performance and having a sense of our inner values and goals; (2) Accurate Self-assessment – a sense of our strengths and weaknesses; and (3) Selfconfidence – the courage that comes from clear selfknowledge of our capability, values and goals. pushmag.me

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// FEATURE Yo u c a n n e v e r achieve y

o

u

r

f u l l e s t potential a Self-awareness is a foundational skill; one that involves developing a clear understanding of what makes us tick. People high in self-awareness are amazingly clear in their comprehension of what their strengths are, what drives and satisfies them, and which people/situations stir in them strong emotions. And as self-awareness improves, people’s satisfaction with life – defined as their ability to reach their goals at work and at home – increases dramatically. T H E F O L LOW I N G A R E S O M E S T R AT E G I E S DESIGNED TO HELP YOU MAXIMIZE YOUR SELFAWARENESS IN ORDER TO CREATE POSITIVE CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE. • The third eye: Always try to look at yourself from “above”, as if a third eye were looking down upon you during certain situations – especially ones that are irritating or difficult. From that angle, ponder all the things that you would be able to see and understand. This “elevated” position allows you to escape the grip of your emotions and know exactly what needs to be done to create a positive outcome. You would be able to develop a certain degree of objective understanding of your behavior – taking note of your emotions, thoughts and attitudes as the situation unfolds. The goal is to slow yourself down and take in all that is in front of you, allowing your brain to process all available information before you act. • Through the eyes of others: We cannot fully see ourselves the way we truly are. Oftentimes, there is a discrepancy between how you see yourself and how others see you. Self-awareness is the process of getting to know yourself from the inside out and the outside in. And to accomplish the latter, you

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n

d

experience l i f e t h e way you want unless you truly delve deep within and cultivate s e l f awareness

need t o see yourself t hrough the eyes of others. So be open to feedback from your friends, coworkers, family members and ot hers. When asking for t heir opinion, be sure to get specific exam ples and situations. And as you gather answers, look for similarities in the information. The views provided by others could be a real revelation. Putting the perspectives of others together helps you see the entire picture, including how your emotions and reactions af f ect t hose around you. So be courageous and ask for feedback! • The physical side of emotions: Your mind and your body are closely connected. Consequently, physical c hanges accom pany emotions – increased heart rate when you’re scared, tight neck muscles when you’re anxious and so forth. Thus, one of the most effective ways to understand your emotions as they are occurring is to learn how to spot the physical c h a n g e s t h a t a c c o m p a ny t h e emotions. Whenever you have time, sit quietly and close your eyes. Feel how fast your heart is beating, notice the pace of your breat hing and determine how


tense your muscles are in your neck, back, arms and legs. Closing your eyes and vividly thinking of emotionally charged events from your past – both positive and negative – could provide you with important clues on the physical changes that could be triggered by varying emotions. And this makes you more adept at spotting and understanding your feelings. • Finding yourself through beauty: Listening to music, reading novels, watching films and even viewing artworks are activities that could act as a gateway into the deepest parts of your psyche. You could discover a lot about your emotional patterns by looking outside yourself at the books, movies and music wit h whic h you identify or to whic h you feel drawn. When the lyrics of a certain song resonate with you, this reveals so much about how you feel. When you identify with a character from a movie/novel, it’s probably because important aspects of his/her thoughts and feelings parallel your own. So take a very deep look the next time one of these artistic avenues grabs your attention – you never know what you’ll find or what you’ll learn about yourself. • Embracing discomfort: We normally try to avoid the discomfort that comes with seeing ourselves they way we truly are. And this is detrimental to achieving self-awareness. When you ignore a feeling that disturbs you, you miss the opportunity to do something productive with that emotion. Ignoring your feelings does not make them go away, this just helps them to surface again when you least expect it. Instead of avoiding a certain negative emotion, you need

to move towards the feeling, into it and eventually through it. Leaning into feelings will motivate you to change. Otherwise, you will stick to an unproductive and unsatisfying track – repeating the same unhealthy patterns. And remember, leaning into your discomfort will become easier after a while. The Gems that Lay Within If you remain skeptical about the importance of cultivating self-awareness despite what has been presented here, remember that 83 percent of people high in self-awareness are top performers! And the reason is simple: When you are self-aware, you are more likely to pursue the right opportunities, utilize your strengths and keep your emotions from holding you back. Self-awareness is a continuous journey of peeling back the layers until you reach the true essence of who you are. But beware; facing the truth about who you are could be disturbing sometimes, and this is why getting in touch with your emotions requires a certain degree of honesty and courage. Progress truly begins when you start noticing things about yourself of which you weren’t previously conscious. So good luck on your quest in unearthing all the inner gems that you never knew existed!

By Richard Labaki

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// FEATURE

“And so far, we have been led to believe that the only way to make it in the business domain is by adopting masculine strategies – this has adversely affected women.”

May the

If a person had predicted a few decades ago that the 21 st century would witness the rise of professional women, he or she would have been laughed at and ridiculed. But now, no one can deny the fact that women have proven themselves at the workplace as their role in bolstering the global economy continues to grow. This new reality is one that men have to deal with and accept. But should they feel threatened by this shift in dynamics? An objective assessment of the situation makes one conclude that men will not be facing any immediate danger to their dominance over the business world any time soon. And the reason is quite simple: Women are still playing by the rules that men laid out; they are adopting masculine forms of leadership and utilizing masculine styles of communication. Consequently, their innate strengths as women remain partially dormant and untapped. And until they reconnect with and embrace their feminine essence, transforming the business domain – or at least equally sharing it with men – remains a distant goal in spite of all the commendable progress that women have achieved thus far. INTEGRATING THE SHADOW Both men and women go through life burdened by “shadows”, which are repressed, unconscious or unwanted parts of their personality. People often

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reject these parts in themselves in an effort to integrate into a specific culture, which imposes its own set of moral values. And the greatest “shadow” of our time is possibly that which revolves around the “feminine”, argues Joumana Rizk – founder and directress of Peacelights, which is an organization dedicated to changing cultural “shadows” through personal transformation, arts/media projects and leadership development. In her opinion, feminine qualities have been denounced and marginalized over the centuries. And this has triggered many of the problems from which our world suffers. Therefore, restoring the balance between feminine and masculine values is currently imperative. Rizk maintains that feminine form of leadership is urgently needed to balance masculine dominance, which she says has persisted for too long and is jeopardizing our world. ROAD FREQUENTLY TRAVELLED Masculine and feminine modes of communication and leadership are both needed – depending on circumstances and context. “But unfortunately, our culture judges everything by masculine standards such as the financial bottomline or reaching a specific goal,” says Rizk. “And so far, we have been led to believe that the only way to make it in the business domain is by adopting masculine strategies – this has adversely affected women.” And making it even more difficult for women to express their

femininity is the fact that role models are scarce. Successful female figures, who have embraced their femaleness to succeed in the business realm and who could be emulated, are numbered. Communicational breakdowns and/ or ill feelings are likely to arise when women predominantly operate from a “masculine position” at the office. “Women adopting a masculine form of leadership can become abrasive or unpleasant,” comments Rizk, “simply because many corporate hierarchical structures are intrinsically foreign to them. When you do not express what and who you genuinely are, your ability to be effective and to induce change is compromised.” Rizk describes how she constantly encounters high-powered executive women suffering from chronic cases of emotional and physical depletion because of this issue. She points out that when a person is expressing her authentic self, she becomes invigorated by her work – even if she is dealing with a heavy load. “You feel a certain high; you feel fulfilled and uplifted,” she adds. “And this is the parameter by which we can measure whether a specific work is the right fit for a woman or not.” ILLUMINATING THE PATH Ultimately, all women need to tap into their feminine energies regularly in order to fuel their progress in business and


Women are still playing by the rules that men laid out; they are adopting masculine forms of leadership and utilizing masculine styles of communication

Feminine to acquire their rightful place in the world. By understanding the nature of masculine and feminine energies residing in them, women could learn how and when to express the two energies properly. Consequently, they could start navigating the vocational terrain more effectively and without stirring negativity within themselves and in others. “When you understand this crucial matter, reviving the ‘feminine’ and utilizing it for leadership becomes easy,” says Rizk. Through Peacelights, Rizk helps people to be true to their authentic self by employing tools like “shadow integration” and others. She helps women build upon their innate strengths and reconnect with their original identity. “As children, we operated from our natural point of strength,” she explains. “But that stopped at one point due to the pressure exerted by those in our lives to make us conform. And that is when we started to hide our true selves and began to function from the side which we mistakenly thought was right – a very unhealthy move.” While it might not be easy to unlearn improper modes of dealing with the world, the tools employed by Rizk are effective because the approach is systematic and incremental. “Personal change is a layer by layer process, beginning with letting go of the old self-image,” she

Rizk maintains that feminine form of leadership is urgently needed to balance masculine dominance, which she says has persisted for too long and is jeopardizing our world.

explains. “But it is worth the effort. When one operates from her genuine self, everything starts happening with ease. And everything starts falling into its proper place.”

by Richard Labaki Log on to http://www.peacelights.org/ to learn more about feminine leadership and other programs by Peacelights

Force Be with you pushmag.me

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// FEATURE

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‫�صمود‬

‫�إمر�أة‬

‫حتت عناوين خمتلفة‪ ،‬ن�رشت ال�صحف العرب ّية والعامل ّية م�ؤخر ًا‬ ‫ق�صة ا لأم الفرن�س ّية ماري لور بيكا‪ ،‬التي توف ّيت ب�رسطان‬ ‫الق�صة الذي ا�ستدعى ّ‬ ‫كل هذا‬ ‫الكبد عن ‪ 36‬عام ًا ‪ .‬لكن مغزى ّ‬ ‫االهتمام ال يكمن بالطبع يف هذا املوت املبكر‪ ،‬و �إمنا هو يكمن يف‬ ‫�شجاعة هذه ا لأم التي �أثنت عليها ّ‬ ‫كل ال�صحف‪ .‬فهذه املر �أة‬ ‫املط ّلقة كانت قد �سعت‪ ،‬منذ �أن �أطلعها ا لأطباء على طبيعة‬ ‫مر�ضها وعلى موتها املحتم‪� ،‬إىل اختيار عائلة قادرة على تبنّي‬ ‫�أطفالها ا لأربعة الذين تراوحت �أعمارهم بني عامني و �أحد ع�رش‬ ‫عام ًا بغية عدم تفرقهم بعد رحيلها‪ .‬وكانت هذه ا لأم ال�شجاعة‬ ‫قد ن�رشت يف يونيو‪ /‬حزيران ‪ 2008‬كتاب ًا بعنوان "�شجاعة‬ ‫�أم" �أو�صت بعائداته لأبنائها‪ ،‬و�رشحت فيه ق�صتها قائلة‪":‬لن‬ ‫�أغادر الدنيا هادئة البال ما مل �أطمئن على �أن �أوالدي لن يتفرقوا‬ ‫عد ة عائالت بالتبنّي"‪ .‬و �أبدت ا لأم ال�شجاعة رغبتها �أي�ض ًا‬ ‫بني ّ‬ ‫يف �أن يوا�صل �أطفالها حياتهم التي اعتادوا عليها و �أن يذهبوا‬ ‫�إىل املدار�س نف�سها و �إىل درو�س "اجلودو" و �أن يحافظوا على‬ ‫ا لأ�صدقاء ال�سابقني‪ .‬وعلى الرغم من ّ‬ ‫كل العراقيل التي‬ ‫واجهت ماري لور‪ ،‬خ�صو�ص ًا بعد �أن وجدت الزوجني القادرين‬ ‫على تبني �أوالدها ورف�ض دائرة التبنّي الفرن�س ّية ب�أن يتبنّى‬ ‫هذان الزوجان �أكرث من ثالثة �أطفال ب�سبب و�ضعهما املادي‪،‬‬ ‫ا�ستطاعت ا لأم بف�ضل احلمالت ال�صحف ّية جتاوز هذه العقبة‪...‬‬ ‫وهكذا رحلت ماري لور هادئة البال بعد �أن ح ّققت لأطفالها ما‬ ‫كانت ت�صبو �إليه‪..‬‬ ‫قر� ُأت هذه الق�صة املحزنة كغريها من ق�ص�ص احلياة امل�ؤ ّثرة وامل�ؤملة‪ ،‬ثم‬ ‫ُ‬ ‫رحت �أت�أمل كم هي م� ّشوهة �صورة املر�أة الغرب ّية يف جمتمعنا العربي‪.‬‬ ‫فلئن كانت الثقافة الذكور ّية ال�سائدة يف ال�رشق والغرب ال تني تربط‬ ‫العقل والقوة وال�شجاعة بالرجل والعاطفة وال�ضعف باملر�أة‪ ،‬ف�إن جمتمعاتنا‬ ‫العرب ّية ال تكتفي ب�إعادة �إنتاج هذه الثقافة فح�سب‪ ،‬و�إمنا هي ت�س ّلح الوعي‬ ‫العربي ب�صور مغلوطة عن املر�أة الغرب ّية للح�ؤول دون ّ‬ ‫فك الأطواق عن املر�أة‬ ‫العرب ّية‪ ،‬خ�صو�ص ًا �أن جمتمعاتنا ال يزال فيها يف القرن احلادي والع�رشين من‬ ‫�ضد املر�أة‪ ،‬بحجة �أن العنف هو �أ�سا�س ًا‪ ،‬ج�سدي و�رضب‬ ‫يدافع عن العنف ّ‬ ‫مربح بق�صد الأذى و"تقبيح الوجه" �أو ت�شويهه‪� .‬أما ال�رضب اخلفيف‪ ،‬ويف‬ ‫�أماكن �أخرى من اجل�سد بق�صد "الإذالل" ال الأذى‪ ،‬فهو م�سموح به بفعل‬ ‫قوامة الرجل على املر�أة ال�شبيهة بقوامة الأم على �أوالدها‪ ،‬ولأن ال�رضب‪،‬‬ ‫بق�صد الإذالل‪ ،‬هو واحدة من الو�سائل املتاحة ملعاجلة ن�شوز الن�ساء‪!..‬‬

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‫ ‪pushmag.me‬‬

‫ن�صار‬ ‫تقدمي د‪ .‬هيفاء ّ‬

‫فاملناه�ضون لعمل املر�أة مث ًال‪ ،‬ي�ستندون �إىل عمل املر�أة الغرب ّية لال�ستنتاج‬ ‫ب�أن هذا العمل �أ ّدى �إىل �إهمال دور الأم كمربية وراعية للجيل‪ ،‬و�إىل �شقاء‬ ‫الأطفال‪ ،‬و�إىل خلخلة الأ�رسة و�إ�ضعاف دورها يف حياة النا�شئة‪ ،‬ناهيك‬ ‫ب�إ�سهامه يف ن�رش املفا�سد والرذائل‪�...‬أما املناه�ضون للدعوات اخلا�صة‬ ‫بتحرير املر�أة‪ ،‬وهم ال يختلفون عن املناه�ضني لعملها‪ ،‬فيعتربون هذه‬ ‫الدعوات ا�ستدراج ًا للمر�أة لكي تنقلب على الأ�رسة‪ ،‬تارة لإيجاد‬ ‫�رصاع دائم بني املر�أة والرجل �أ�سوة مبا هو حا�صل يف الغرب‪ ،‬وتارة ّ‬ ‫لبث‬ ‫الأفكار ال�سامة ب�أن الأ�رسة والأمومة والزواج هي من �أ�سباب قهر الرجل‬ ‫للمر�أة‪ ...‬و�أن طلبه منها �أن تعتني ب�أوالدها‪ ،‬وترك العمل هو طلب منها �أن‬ ‫ترتك حريتها‪ ،‬وتعود عبدة جارية‪...‬‬

‫يهمنا هنا‬ ‫احلجج القائمة ّ‬ ‫�ضد حترير املر�أة من قيودها كثرية �إذ ًا‪ ،‬لكن ما ّ‬ ‫هو االجتاه �إىل جعل املر�أة الغرب ّية منوذج ًا ومثا ًال على الف�ساد والأنان ّية‬ ‫والتن�صل من واجبات الأمومة‪ ،‬وب�شكل خا�ص فقدان املر�أة الغربية‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫لعاطفة الأمومة‪...‬و�إىل ما هنالك من �أو�صاف ونعوت جتعل من املر�أة‬ ‫جم�سد ًا‪.‬‬ ‫الغرب ّية �شيطان ًا َّ‬ ‫ولكوين ل�ست حمامية الدفاع عن املر�أة الغرب ّية �أو عن املر�أة العرب ّية‬ ‫بل عن الإن�سان �أينما وجد‪ ،‬قادتني ق�صة ال�شابة الفرن�س ّية �إىل‬ ‫ا�ستكار ال�صور املغلوطة عن الآخر التي يب ّثها ّ‬ ‫كل من ال�رشق‬ ‫والغرب بح�سب ما تقت�ضيه م�صاحله اخلا�صة‪ .‬فكم من درا�سات‬ ‫وم�ؤلفات و�أبحاث من العاملني العربي والغربي تثبت �أن هناك ن�ساء‬ ‫جتاربهن يف‬ ‫جتمعهن‬ ‫ولي�س امر�أة‪ ،‬و�أن ه�ؤالء الن�ساء من ال�رشق والغرب‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫اخلروج من ّ‬ ‫حيواتهن اليومية و�أ�شكال املقاومة التي‬ ‫الظل‪ ،‬وتفا�صيل‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫وم�صائرهن التي �أُريد لها‬ ‫آالمهن‬ ‫ابتكرنها يف مواجهة‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫جمتمعاتهن و� ّ‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫أ�رسهن و‬ ‫�أن تكون م�ش�ؤومة‪ ..‬فعرفن كيف يتد ّبرن �‬ ‫أمورهن و�أمور � ّ‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫أ�رسهن‪...‬ق�ص�ص كثرية‬ ‫كيف يجرتحن احللول‬ ‫مل�شاكلهن وم�شاكل � ّ‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫من ال�رشق والغرب لن�ساء مكافحات و�أمهات ا�ستثنائيات �أعادتها �إىل‬ ‫ذاكرتي ق�صة هذه الأم ال�شجاعة التي رحمها املوت ومل يرحمها‬ ‫�رشيك حياتها الذي كان قد تخ ّلى عنها عندما عرف مبر�ضها‪.‬‬ ‫ق�صة املر�أة ال�شجاعة تقابلها ق�ص�ص كثرية لن�ساء عرب ّيات وغرب ّيات‬ ‫وبذكائهن االجتماعي‬ ‫وعطاءاتهن‬ ‫مداركهن‬ ‫ب�شجاعتهن وب�سعة‬ ‫مت ّيزن‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫والعاطفي‪ ،‬لكن من دون �أن يحجب عنّا ذلك الق�ص�ص‪ ،‬التي تعك�س يف‬ ‫وعاطفتهن‪...‬‬ ‫و�شجاعتهن‬ ‫أمومتهن‬ ‫املقابل‪ ،‬فقدان ن�ساء عرب ّيات وغرب ّيات �‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫ّ‬ ‫ّ‬


// FEATURE

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N THIS EXCLUSIVE Q&A, PUSH REVEALS THE THOUGHTS OF FATEN HANI ON BEING THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER (CEO) OF DUBAI INTERNATIONAL FINANCIAL CENTRE (DIFC) CENTRE OF EXCELLENCE – THE CENTRE THAT IS KNOWN TO BE THE HOME OF TOP INTERNATIONAL UNIVERSITIES, BUSINESS SCHOOLS AND PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT ORGANIZATIONS. BESIDES PLAYING AN ESSENTIAL ROLE AS CEO OF DIFC CENTRE OF EXCELLENCE, HANI ALSO ACTS AS A MENTOR FOR YOUNG GRADUATES AND WORKERS IN THE UAE, AND IS THE CHAIRPERSON OF THE BUSINESS ADVISORY COMMITTEE OF THE HIGHER COLLEGES OF TECHNOLOGY. ADDITIONALLY, SHE IS A MEMBER OF THE BUSINESS ADVISORY GROUP AT IMD BUSINESS SCHOOL IN SWITZERLAND, AND IS AN ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE YOUNG ARAB LEADERS ORGANIZATION.

Ms. Hani – what does DIFC Centre of Excellence entail? Faten Hani (FH) – The DIFC Centre of Excellence was established as a hub for executive and professional development and education. The centre was created by the Dubai International Financial Centre (DIFC) and it will reach out to professionals within the Middle East, North Africa, Eastern Africa, the Caspian Subcontinent and the Indian Subcontinent. The centre is situated within the DIFC, the world’s fastest growing financial centre and at the heart of cosmopolitan Dubai. The DIFC Centre of Excellence aims to develop a talent pool of professionals for and from the region through partnering with top ranking business

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schools, professional development providers, corporate universities, as well as certification, accreditation and rating organizations. How critical is your role as the CEO of the DIFC Centre of Excellence? FH – The DIFC Centre of Excellence brings together world-class learning and development resources that help business professionals lead, strategize and innovate successfully in a rapidly changing economy. My role is to lead the strategic development of the centre and attract the world’s best educational institutions that can provide tailored executive programs to answer the needs of the business professionals in both DIFC and the entire region.

How do you choose your partners in the centre? FH – We establish partnerships with top ranked global institutions that have an established track record in delivering high-quality executive education programs. Also, we ensure that the partners have to be aligned with our own strategy in the region. Currently, the partners and programs include: London Business School (EMBA, executive education programs, and custom designed programs); Cass Business School (Offering the world’s first EMBA with a specialization in Islamic Finance in the world from the DIFC, Energy or General Management and Finance); Queens School of Business (executive education


programs); Securities and Investments Institute (SII) (finance training, examination and certification activities); the Chartered Insurance Institute (CII) (membership in the CII and Certified Insurance and Finance programs) and the International Bar Association (IBA). In order to accommodate the needs and interests of busy professionals, the DIFC Centre of Excellence offers a mix of programs, from one-day workshops all the way to a higher degree. What is the significance of having a centre for executive development and business schools? FH – DIFC Centre of Excellence is the first initiative within the region that provides regional students access to globally top-ranked business education. The DIFC Centre of Excellence gives students within the region the opportunity to benefit from internationally experienced faculty, the latest business research and learning methods, the shared learning experiences of a large international student community and a global network. Why is it important to promote executive development? FH – Executive education is vital for professionals to remain competitive in today’s job market. We are living at a time of great economic change and transformation. Globally, the financial architecture is undergoing a huge c hange. Here in our region, our economies are going

through a vast transformation. All this means that our economic paradigms and business models have to be updated so t hat they are aligned with the larger picture of change taking place. To facilitate this change, we need well-trained business professionals who can lead our economies and organizations through the challenges of transition. Executive education provides professionals with the resources necessary to perform this role effectively. In your personal opinion, would you encourage fresh university graduates to go to a business school? Why or why not? FH – I would not encourage fresh graduates to join a business school immediately after university, as they should ideally be exposed to a corporate environment and work with seasoned professionals before enrolling in a professional program. A major par t of the learning in a business school involves sharing one’s work experiences with other equally experienced students. Fresh graduates would not be able to benefit from this learning process unless they themselves have some experience in a corporate or industry environment.

My role is to lead the strategic development of t he centre and attract the world’s best educational institutions that can provide tailored executive programs to answer the needs of the business professionals both in DIFC and the entire region.

By Sherry Tenorio

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// INDULGENCE

CREATING AGAINST THE CURRENT INSIDE THE GLITTERING

MIND OF FAWAZ GRUOZI

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few seconds into a conversation w i t h Fa w a z Gruosi and his piercing emerald eyes no longer seem menacing or intimidating. His warm and friendly demeanor puts one at ease almost instantaneously. And this is a revelation, for you would assume that brushing shoulders w i t h h i g h - p r o fi l e personalities a n d exerting considerable influence over the realm of jewelry and watch making would make a person arrogant or flamboyant to say the least. But all the success that Gruosi garnered over the years failed to go to his head; he even has no problem openly crediting his success to luck!

“I was there when the business of jewelry designing was becoming boring, as everyone was copying everyone else and originality was severely lacking.”

“I was in the right place at the right time,” he confesses. “I was there when the business of jewelry designing was becoming boring, as everyone was copying everyone else and originality was severely lacking.” Consequently, Gruosi managed to inject this domain with a much-needed dose of novelty – relying on his affinity for risk-taking to accomplish this end. At a time when pink diamond was nothing more than a mere relic in the realm of jewelry, he courageously reintroduced this precious mineral to the world. Yet, his most audacious move to date – one that has forever defined his artistic identity – has been the unveiling of black diamond designs. This was deemed by many as a misstep bound to initiate the downfall of his career. “In the mind of people, diamond is white,” Gruosi explains. “But I saw something in black diamond, and it took people around two years to become acceptant of idea.” Soon after he stunned the world with this move, major jewelry brands started using black diamond – a testament to his farsightedness. And upon conducting extensive research, he

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later published a book on this precious mineral. “Had I n o t w r i t t e n t h e b o o k and pushed black diamond to the forefront, I would not be sitting here with you today,” he declares. Gruosi then came up with the concept of icy diamond (unpolished), which became an immediate success. Blackened gold was another shockwave he sent across the realm of jewelry. It is a good sign when people are skeptical of a new concept, in his opinion; this natural human tendency to resist the unfamiliar is a phenomenon he deeply comprehends. For some reason, Gruosi seems to have an uncanny ability to foretell what could become a success way before anyone else. And his formula is simple: Stand by your novel idea and allow the public enough time to appreciate and embrace the concept. What seems to help him withstand the initial phase of resistance is his immunity against harsh criticism. “Many people comment that my creations are massive in size and too flashy,” he says. “Such remarks are nonsense, for why would anyone purchase jewelry if not to flaunt it? A woman wears jewelry simply to attract attention and to be beautiful!” In an attempt to expand his creative horizons and lure more traffic into his shops, Gruosi ventured into the domain of watches in the year 2000. And his latest craze is a revolutionary Swiss system by which digital watches are powered mechanically and without the use of batteries – a feat previously considered impossible. Gruosi did it through bringing together master watchmakers and young technology experts, stimulating a seemingly impossible collaboration. Wearing one of his watches during the interview, he points out to its outrageously expensive price (350 thousand US dollars) due primarily to the groundbreaking technology it represents! Developing this technology entailed taking a major financial risk, but Gruosi regarded it a personal challenge that he wished to surmount. Both men and women have a wide array of watches from which to select. “We do not produce in large quantities in order to maintain exclusivity and high level of craftsmanship,” Gruosi asserts. “Compared to other watchmakers, who make anywhere between 30,000 to half a million timepieces a year, we produce around 2000 to 2500 annually.” In 10 years, he released 18 different models – with around 10 to 12 variations on each model. But despite his apparent success as a watchmaker, his love for jewelry remains unparalleled. “We do from 400 to 500 jewelry pieces each year; this is huge considering the fact that they are all unique items which I never repeat,” he proclaims. A prolific designer, Gruosi credits this capability to his hypersensitive nature – one that he considers a doubleedged sword. “A great quality for creativity but a bad one for love and personal matters,” he explains. “I love both the moment of the initial creative spark and the moment when the piece is finally realized. What is terrible though is that once I see the piece and admire it, I then lose interest immediately. I would be thinking anxiously of which design to work on next.” While jewelry designers and watchmakers try to establish a certain style and stick to it for years in order to distinguish their work and carve their own niche, Gruosi likens this route to “committing creative suicide”. He regards himself as one of the luckiest people simply for doing what he enjoys and doing things his own way. But make no mistake; his mind is forever plagued by doubts. “Your downfall comes about when you become

His latest craze is a revolutionary Swiss system by which digital watches are powered mechanically and without the use of batteries. 100 percent sure of yourself,” he maintains. “But in spite of the doubts, you need to take the risk and go all the way if you have faith in your idea. Many young designers out there are far more talented than I am but they fail because fear cripples them at one point.” Gruosi advises everyone, irrespective of their domain, to pursue their ideas to the end – especially ideas that are unique and different. “The market needs novelty and surprises,” has says. “I am a living proof that you could have the craziest idea and be able to achieve it if you go all the way. My advice to talented people is not to be scared and to keep going despite the fear that they experience.” Gruosi believes that he has achieved his grand vision as an artist, as he continues to reinvest in expanding and developing his brand de Grisogono. Amassing money for its own sake is nonsensical in his opinion. What he desires most is to keep creating beauty and raising eyebrows. “Take advantage of whatever you admire in this life,” he says. “Nobody believes me when I say that I am not doing this for the money. I do this because I love my work – what more could I ask for?” By Richard Labaki

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// INDULGENCE


// INDULGENCE

S

ELFISHNESS IS DEEMED ONE OF THE MOST REVILED PERSONALITY TRAITS, BECAUSE BEING SELF-SERVING AND PUTTING YOUR OWN NEEDS BEFORE THAT OF PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE IS ALLEGEDLY A DETRIMENT TO THEIR SELF-INTEREST. EVEN THE DICTIONARY DEFINES “SELFISHNESS” IN A HARSH MANNER: “DEVOTED TO OR CARING ONLY FOR ONESELF.” THINK ABOUT IT FOR A MOMENT. THE WORD “SELFISH” CONJURES UP NEGATIVE IMAGES DATING BACK TO YOUR EARLIEST MEMORIES OF THE KID WHO REFUSED TO SHARE HIS CANDY OR THE SWING WITH YOU AT SCHOOL.

We have been conditioned to believe that to be a good person you have to put the needs of others before your own. According to philosopher and novelist Ayn Rand, in society the term “selfish” has become synonymous with “evil”. In her book “The Virtue of Selfishness”, she explains how focusing on oneself to move forward and to survive will directly or indirectly be of benefit to others. Therefore, self-interest should be seen as a positive quality rather than a negative one. Rand is quick to note that there is a difference between positive self-serving acts and negative selfserving acts. And she makes comparisons between an industrialist and a thief. “An industrialist who produces a fortune and a gangster who robs a bank are regarded as equally immoral, since they both sought wealth for their own ‘selfish’ benefit... Yet there is a fundamental moral difference between a man who sees his self-interest in production and a man who sees it in robbery.”

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For women of our generation, and specifically t h o s e w h o a re i n o u r re g i o n , t h e c o n c e p t o f putting one’s interests before attending to t he n e e d s / wa n t s o f o t h e r p e o p l e i s s p re a d i n g – although at a slow pace.

We have been conditioned to believe that to be a good person you have to put the needs of others before your own Clinical psychologist Dr. Fatima Al Jamil at the American University of Beirut explains that women, more so than men, are generally taught to think of other people’s needs first and to care for other people’s feelings. “Therefore from a young age, women are more socialised to being personally


sensitive, which allows them to grow up into women who think about your needs and your feelings before their own,” she explains. “In this culture, I would say that yes, daughters will put their parents first, wives will put their husbands first and mothers will put their children first. This becomes problematic when it is at the expense of that person’s mental or physical health.” “It is not about shifting attention to themselves off of those other people,” Dr. Jamil adds. “It is just about attending to their physical and mental health, which will then allow them to further take care of others – if those are their values.” And there are clear examples from across the region of young women who have not only followed their own interests, but have also survived to tell the tale. Linda Nemeh, a 31-year-old lawyer of Jordanian-American origins and currently working in Dubai, tells of her experience. “All my life, I gave in to everyone's demands and requests,” she says. “Whether it was being there for a boyfriend – even if it meant excluding my friends to the point where I only saw them on occasions – or simply helping out a friend [with legal work] and dealing with the nagging pressure to get it done even if I had a workload of 100 things on my desk.” And so Nemeh got to a point w h e r e e v e r yo n e a r o u n d h e r became accustomed to her unselfishness. Many never even stopped to think about her needs or the impact of their behaviour o n h e r. C o n s e q u e n t l y , s h e harboured feelings of resentment, anxiety and anger. “I decided to put myself first and see what happened,” N emeh explains. “Putting myself first automatically categorized me as selfish. All I heard was ‘you changed’ and ‘you don’t care

anymore’, when in reality I cared. And the problem was caring about myself more.” “What did being selfish mean for me? Utter happiness, less stress and life at my pace. Yes I lost friends who no longer had me as their slave, and I broke up with boyfriends who couldn’t handle my having ‘me time’,” she maintains. “For the first time in my life, I am able to enjoy what I want to do on my own time. This allows me to give time to those I truly care about.” According to Dr. Jamil, it is common for women to go to private clinics with symptoms of anxiety and depression while having no clue as to what is going on. “They don’t realise that they have forgotten or neglected themselves, or have not defined themselves, because they have been attending to the feelings and the needs of those around them,” she explains. Oftentimes, the problem lies in the fact that women struggle to put personal limits. Establishing personal boundaries would enable t hem to define, embrace and nurture their individuality. And by not establishing such boundaries, they struggle between what they want and what others want. “In many cases, women haven’t been able to set appropr iate boundaries, which means knowing where you begin and end and where another person begins; knowing what are your needs and wishes, and getting confused with what your parents need or what

your children need or what your husband needs,” says Dr. Jamil. “Being able to set those boundaries means going back to yourself and asking these ver y fundamental questions about what it is that you want and what you’re allowing yourself to have, and not seeing that as selfishness.” H oweve r, p e o p l e – wo m e n specifically – have been f aced wit h negative reactions because of setting personal boundaries. Accusations of “you’re being self ish” have slapped most women in t he face by t hose closest to t hem, either for c hoosing a career over star ting a family or moving to another countr y.

“I can see how ‘socially s e l fi s h ’ I w a s , b y choosing to do what I wanted rather than accepting another ordinary job that wouldn’t have fulfilled my ambitions.” Latifa Al Busseir, a 30-year-old Saudi citizen and former executive manager of a leading international foundation based in Saudi Arabia, admitted that she struggled in the face of conservatism – between doing a job she loved and being vilified by society. “My boss was high profile; my job required frequent travelling and it was a mixed business environment which was constantly in the public eye,” she says. “Many around me, including family members, thought it wouldn’t be necessar y o r b e n e fi c i a l t o work in such an environment,

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especially since society at that time still believed that it would be best for a woman to stay at home. I was torn between doing what society thought was appropriate and what could be a first step towards fulfilling my ambitious professional goals.” But she persisted in her job. “I went through heaven and hell. At certain points, I was even criticized by conservatives because of my public exposure,” she explains. “I can see how ‘socially selfish’ I was, by choosing to do what I wanted rather than accepting another ordinary job that wouldn’t have fulfilled my ambitions.” Many women like Latifa are taking a notable stand. And there has been a clear shift in the tide, as women in this region are beginning to walk outside the lines drawn for them by society and fulfilling their own wants and needs. In a professional context, more women are seeking employment, setting up their own businesses and moving up the corporate ladder. According to a survey conducted by Bayt.com on women and the workplace in the Middle East in 2008, 67 percent of the women sur veyed stated that prospects f o r wo r k i n g wo m e n i n t h e i r country of residence has improved dramatically. And 76 percent of the women surveyed claimed that women today occupy senior ranks at the companies in which they work. In a personal context, women are living on their own – buying property and becoming selfsufficient. Surely, more steps need to be taken. But the more women are “selfish” and focused on selfdevelopment, the more they can benefit themselves and society. “Whatever you decide that you’re going to do, whether it is a job, c h i l d re n o r p a r t n e r s h i p , yo u cannot lose yourself,” asserts Dr. Jamil. “You cannot lose yourself in the ‘other’. You cannot lose touch with what are fundamentally

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your values just in order to make things work with the ‘other’. The need to assert yourself is key, and that assertion comes from giving yourself the permission to have an opinion that is different from your mother, your father, your husband and whomever. To be assertive, you need to allow yourself to have that space and that validity of emotions and needs.”

The more women are “selfish” and focused on self-development, the more they can benefit themselves and society Removing the stigma attached to the word “selfish” might take several years t o accom plish. Meanwhile, you need to bear in mind that the elements that this word actually embodies – such as self-growth, self-development and self-awareness – are paramount for your psychological wellbeing. This might seem as a drastic statement, but marginalizing yourself will be detrimental to those around you eventually. Women might be advancing in leaps and bounds, especially in our region, but there is still a long way to go. So remember: Focus on yourself first if you wish to prevent stagnation in your life. By Nour Samaha


// INDULGENCE

WINTER 2010

Max Mara

Carolina Herrera

Balmain

Adam

Balmain

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Giles


Guy Laroche

Badgley Mischka

Badgley Mischka

Giles pushmag.me

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// INDULGENCE

Leaving the World Losing oneself at the Six Senses Hideaway Zighy Bay in Oman

The site of the Six Senses Hideaway Zighy Bay in Oman is a secluded fishing village in the northern Musandam Peninsula. There are mountains on one side and a 1.6 kilometer sandy beach on the other. The setting is dramatic to say the least. Encompassing 82 pool villas and pool villa suites, the site also has a private marina. The design of this new Six Senses Hideaway is based on attention to detail and commitment to the environment, creating an uncompromising standard of luxury. Guests have a choice of three experiences upon arrival: A scenic ten-minute speedboat trip, a drive down from the top of the hill overlooking the bay, or traveling as a companion passenger with the Hideaway's professional paragliding experts. Six Senses Hideaway Zighy Bay has created a host of innovative dining experiences. The choice

www.sixsenses.com/Six-Senses-Hideaway-Zighy-Bay/

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Behind of dining alternatives include a modern brassiere showcasing a multitude of cuisine flavors, a seafood restaurant, a wine cellar holding over 400 wine bins, an unconventional bar and a stunning dinner experience high atop the mountains overlooking Zighy Bay. ‘Dining on the Sand’ offers a culinary experience of luxurious simplicity. Open for breakfast and dinner, the restaurant presents a variety of Pan-Asian, Middle Eastern and continental flavors, spice displays, a private Chef’s Table and event and indulgence culinary evenings. ‘Drinks on the Edge’ and ‘Dining on the Edge’ offer guests an unforgettable dining experience, perched high atop the mountains overlooking Zighy Bay. The lounge at ‘Drinks on the Edge’ engulfs one in a relaxed ambience with soft lounge music, signature cocktails and mezzes – ensuring a memorable beginning to the evening. ‘Dining on the Edge’ offers modern cuisine in a natural setting with innovative menu styles. An extensive wine list complements the contemporary cuisine offered by the chefs, which includes the Edge Experience, Tasters Menu and Gourmand Selection.

to end the day at Zighy Bay. Guests can also enjoy many romantic settings for private dinners, picnics and even champagne breakfasts. You may also opt to experience being the only couple high atop the moonlit wine tower beneath the starry sky. The Six Senses Hideaway Zighy Bay establishes a new benchmark for the region; it is a haven where you can rejuvenate and allow your senses to be stimulated by magnificent beauty and outstanding culinary experiences.

‘In Villa Dining’ is available twenty-four hours and serves a variety of home-cooked style dishes as well as light snacks. A simple private poolside champagne breakfast may be the ideal way to begin the day, and a barbeque dinner on the pool deck is the perfect way pushmag.me

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New 2010 / 2011 Winter Collection Sebastien Sandal, Drap Bag

Valentino Orlandi Bag

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Valentino Orlandi Bag

Escada Bag, Escada Boots

Emillio Pucci Shoes

Lesilla Shoes


Gemy Dress

Via Delle Perle

With a great, live and complete collection, Lifestylez Accessories has launched the new 10/11 winter collection A wide collection of Italian, French and German collection was revealed from brands like Via Delle Perle (V.D.P), Baldinini,

Lesilla, Marc by Marc Jacobs, Gemy, Emillio Pucci, Baldan, Cappopera Jeans, Valentino Orlandi, Fendi, Roberto Cavalli, Just Cavalli, Escada and Laurel. The collection was a real vivid presentation of the latest fashion trends and designs, that suits and fills the wardrobe of Today’s fashion ladies.

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// INDULGENCE

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Paris Hilton Set

Laurel Fur Jacket

Via Delle Perle Set

Paris Hilton

Capo Pera Jeans

Roberto Cavalli Pijama

La Promenade II Center Tahliyah St. Tel.: 02-6688716 Jeddah - KSA pushmag.me

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//POSSIBILITY

NEGOTIATING WITH INVESTORS

AS A BUSINESS OWNER OR AN ENTREPRENEUR, THERE MAY COME A TIME WHEN YOU CONSIDER THE NEED TO LOOK FOR INCREMENTAL FUNDS OR A SOUND INVESTMENT EITHER TO ENLARGE THE BUSINESS OR TO SAVE IT (AS THE CASE MAY BE DUE TO THE FINANCIAL CRISIS THAT HAS HIT BUSINESSES WORLDWIDE.) WITH THE ABOVE IN MIND, THE NOTION OF IDENTIFYING AND ALIGNING WITH A POTENTIAL INVESTOR MAY BE A DAUNTING EXPERIENCE TO START WITH – A COMMON MISUNDERSTANDING AMONGST ENTREPRENEURS IS THAT YOU ARE SOMEWHAT “BEGGING” FOR THE INVESTOR’S EQUITY FUNDING. THUS, IT CANNOT BE STRESSED ENOUGH THAT ENTREPRENEURS HAVE TO EMPLOY THE RIGHT NEGOTIATION SKILLS, TALK CONFIDENTLY WITH INVESTORS AND BELIEVE THAT EACH SIDE HAS SOMETHING EQUALLY VALUABLE TO BRING TO THE TABLE. THIS SHOULD SET A GOOD FOUNDATION FOR A WIN-WIN SCENARIO. ALSO VITAL FOR ENTREPRENEURS IS THE ABILITY TO USE THE RIGHT TOOLS DURING NEGOTIATIONS.

HERE ARE SOME POINTERS THAT YOU LADIES NEED TO BE AWARE OF THE RIGHT TOOLS AOSTA is a good template to adopt when an entrepreneur is planning her negotiation strategy: • • • • •

Assignment (Task) Objective (What to obtain) Strategy (Overall approach) Tactics (How you should do it) Action (How do we proceed)

AOSTA can be catered specifically to the nature of the other side (the investor) when raising a start-up capital. For instance, when planning tactics, an entrepreneur should clearly define the Assignment (Task) in vividly acknowledging what she is selling, and start out with a forceful initial benefit promise (IBP) that gives a reason for the busy investor to be interested in the first place. (By the way, this is similar to using SWOT analysis in negotiation by straightening out the strengths and weaknesses in hand.) This template uses a three-stage approach to negotiation and provides a model for setting out a strategy. In this approach, entrepreneurs have to decide which level to aim for when seeking funding, use a step-by-step approach, get agreement at each step, obtain as much information as

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she can before the meeting, and ultimately involve participants at all times. The Objective setting model utilizes transactional analysis in negotiation and considers what she wants to achieve with the prospective client, what tasks has she taken, what results she wants to achieve, consider if stage objectives need to be set, and determine the underlying conditions. Negotiating Techniques The most successful negotiations occur when both parties receive what they want. The trick is to understand what they want. Most negotiations start on opposite sides, but it should never become a competition. Successful negotiating requires information. And what is referred to here is all sorts of information, be it professional or even personal, in order to assess the investor’s frame of mind, ambitions with the business, or any variable that may shed light on the persona of the investor.

AOSTA is a good template to adopt when an entrepreneur is planning her negotiation strategy

The notion of identifying and aligning with a potential investor may be a daunting experience to start with – a common misunderstanding amongst entrepreneurs is that you are somewhat “begging” for the investor’s equity funding

Business Plan An entrepreneur should consider linking the investment to an agreed business plan (incorporating a budget), so that the investment is applied in the manner set out in that plan. Accordingly, the milestones from the business plan will be drawn to ensure the company remains on track within the agreed plan. The Term Sheet Investors usually make an initial offer in the form of a “term sheet”: A document setting out the proposed scope of the deal. It is often referred to as an “Agreement to Agree” or it may also be regarded as a “Letter of Intent”, because it feeds into the final contract. But it is not in itself meant to be legally binding. The Term Sheet describes such things as what is for sale, how much is to be invested, the method of funding, the anticipated rate of return and the exit plan. Additionally, a small portion of the money will be put forward in exchange for an agreed stake in your company. This allows the investor to benefit from the fruits of his/her investment as your business grows. Coping with Jargon One unwelcome feature of a term sheet is its liberal use of slang, and a business’ management relies heavily on lawyers and advisers to cut through the phraseology. At the end of the day, it’s in everyone’s interests that all parties understand what is going on. Three such terms that you’ll be lucky to avoid are 1) “Ratchet”, 2) “Warrantee” and 3) “Good leaver” or “bad leaver”. 1- A ratchet comes into play when the investor and the management disagree wildly on the value of the business and by how much it is expected to grow. The investor offers the management an increased pushmag.me

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WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY

2- A warrantee is a promise made by the management that what they have said about a certain aspect of the company is true. One investment can involve a large number of warranties, and it is important to seek formal legal advice about what you are promising.

Philip Alexander, Director at Hall Capital Strategies, a corporate advisory firm: “The guiding principals of negotiations are that your relationship with your investors needs to be open, realistic, able to cope with periods of stress as well as success, and with a time horizon from investment to exit of three to five years.”

3- The term “bad leaver” refers to a member of the management team who opts to jump ship before the investors get to their exit date, thereby jeopardizing the return on the investment. Good leavers however generally leave the company through no fault of their own, because of ill health for instance. ROOM FOR NEGOTIATION Most of the details contained within a Term Sheet are not legally binding. The “contract” comes after extensive checks run by the investor (in a process known as due diligence) and once both sides are happy with what is on the table. However, you and your chosen investor are bound by at least three agreements from the time you sign and return the Term Sheet. • One is confidentiality, meaning neither the business nor the investor can share privileged information gained during due diligence. • Another is exclusivity: Investors will insist that you approach no one else while you are dealing with them. • The last agreement refers to who will pay the investor’s costs if the deal breaks down at the due diligence stage. Now is the time to negotiate as much as possible. If you have something an investor wants, then they are bound to be flexible about the deal. At the same time, basic business rules apply: It is in their interest to give you the least amount of money for the largest possible stake in the company – so it’s rarely a good idea to accept the first offer. THE NEXT STEP Once the deal is agreed, and due diligence begins, trust becomes the guiding principle of the transaction. From this point on, both the management and the investor must work together to see the best possible return from the business. So cooperation is crucial. THE LAST STEP Ladies – if it’s meant to be, then it will be! In order to secure an investment into what otherwise you believe is a creditable business, you may find the process to be draining, lengthy and, as stated earlier, daunting. But one that is most importantly – and hopefully – rewarding. The question needs to be and should always be what “you” need and want, rather than what the negotiation phase will or will not achieve. Good luck! By Tamara Ansari

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“If you cannot agree on valuation at the start of the ‘courtship’ phase, you will have greater problems through the business ‘marriage’ and any ‘divorce’!” Karem L. Moukadam, Author and Business Journalist: “Don’t be fooled by the phrase ‘it’s standard practice’. Everything is negotiable while all the necessary pointers are discussed: From the type of loan, the investor’s involvement, right through to the equity stake and fundamentals like the value of the company.” David Beer of Beer & Partners, a business angel network: “Investors are usually flexible, though typically would have certain threshold criteria that must be satisfied, such as industry sector and deal size.” Rob Donaldson, a partner at Baker Tilly: “The only real way to find the best deal is to benchmark what’s on offer. You should approach a handful of lenders – their offers will let you know what is ‘fair’. You should aim to have three or four offers on the table, but no more. This number will give you a good idea of what is the right deal.” Stuart Nicol, an investment manager with London Fund Managers: “There is a lot of jargon involved in the process – and we’re all a little guilty of that.” Daniel Bastide, partner at law firm Thomas Eggar: “Clauses are legal only in an ‘academic sense’ and it is very rare for investors to splash out on court costs at an early stage. Much more damaging is the effect breaking these clauses can have on a company’s reputation.”


Define Your Own Success

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“The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas” - Linus Pauling (Nobel Prize laureate)

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efore starting a business or looking to expand an existing establishment, many people will tell you the most crucial factor that will set you apart from the competition is to have a good idea. Consequently, you may sit down and enlist different ideas that might appear viable and distinct from the rest. But clearly, it won’t make sense to invest your time, money and effort into all of them, so you need to pick “the one” which guarantees the most success. You can execute a bad idea for as long as you want, but will never really get anywhere with it. Someone isn't just struck with a big world-changing idea. It takes hard work, experience (failure and success) and wisdom. But there are ways to recognize a good idea from a mediocre one. A good place to start is to treat your idea like a goal or a strategy.

BE SMART

Consider this a checklist of sorts – the SMART approach is a mnemonic that acts as a guide for your ideas to meet certain criteria before homing in on the final one. Although the terms may vary for different situations, the broad outline is as follows:

S – Specific:

A good idea needs to be focused and well defined. It should be unambiguous, with clear outlines of what you hope to achieve. This leaves little room for doubt, as you

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know exactly what the desired outcome is going to be. And this allows you to plan accordingly so that you can identify the resources you need – materially and financially – and the method by which to secure them.

M – Measurable:

Closely following the above, any good idea should be quantifiable, which allows for it to be assessed at any given time. This not only ensures that you’re headed in the right direction to achieving your objectives but also encourages you to stay motivated en route. Additionally, you can go on to conduct research on your idea and perhaps even develop a prototype to test it. This provides vital feedback, which allows you to modify it if necessary.

A – Attainable:

How often have we been told to dream big? It is certainly good to be ambitious, but within reason. There is little sense in aiming for the stars when all you have is a paddleboat. The idea needs to be inside boundaries that match your business objectives or at least within capacity. Assess the resources, time and, most importantly, finances needed to fund the project. If investments are needed, make sure you have enough to stay afloat while the plan takes off.

R – Relevant:

Relevance is the key factor to the success of any idea. Think about Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook website. Many


You can execute a bad idea for as long as you want, but will never really get anywhere with it

similar social networking sites have tried their best to replicate its success but have not been able to match its legacy. Yet, Zuckerberg’s concept was neither original, nor was it the first site of its kind. The Harvard dropout merely revised an old idea and adapted it to make it relevant by looking at what college students needed at t he time. The idea you have needs to provide a service or product that people require or simply desire. It should make a difference in people’s lives in order for it to matter to them.

T – Time bound: Irrespective of how you decide to proceed, the ability to amend your idea is vital to see it through – and may very well be the distinguishing factor between a good idea and a Great one

Any idea has a shelf life. And in order to see it come to fruition, it should have a pragmatic length of time to operate within. An idea whose time has passed is no longer relevant. Furthermore, if it takes too long to implement, you might have to rethink your strategy.

The idea you have needs to provide a service or product that people require or simply desire

Assess these factors objectively, by seeing the drawbacks and weaknesses as well as strengths. It might also be helpful to gather preliminar y feedbac k from people well informed about the subject to see how they react. Irrespective of how you decide to proceed, the ability to amend your idea is vital to see it t hrough – and may ver y well be the distinguishing factor between a good idea and a Great one. By Neil Soans pushmag.me

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A manifesto is a written declaration of your principles and intentions – matters that you wish to manifest. It’s a simple yet powerful tool for filling your soul with a sense of purpose. Although writing a manifesto might not be easy, it is in fact a very enjoyable task. And it is fun to do. Not only do you get to set forth what you believe in (without the need to justify your beliefs), but also you can denounce everything that you dislike. A Manifesto could help you ponder certain beliefs, which you might have never deeply examined before. Moreover, it could make you reflect on novel matters previously deemed unimportant. You could write your own life manifesto as well as one that is specific for your business. PUSH believes that all businesses should declare a manifesto – not only for public image but also for internal guidance. If you follow your manifesto, there is a possibility that you might reach an epiphany! And when that happens, you should declare it on http://www.pushmag.me/epiphanies to reinforce the message to yourself and to share your revelation with others (anonymously of course.) You may refer to the PUSH manifesto for inspiration on what to write about. And here are some additional guidelines: 1. A manifesto should serve as a guide – one that could lead to a healthy, productive and satisfying life. 2. All violations that you commit against your manifesto must be admitted. 3. Violating the manifesto must induce an examination as to why it happened. And then the manifesto must be revised, or a decision not to repeat the same mistake must be made. 4. On the first day of each month, you should schedule a meeting with someone to discuses how your life is unfolding in regards to your manifesto (if it’s a business manifesto, you can discuss it with your partners or colleagues.) 5. You may adjust your manifesto at any time. 6. It’s a good idea to post your manifesto in a place where you can see it every day.

HOW TO PROCEED: Begin each section of the manifesto with a topic that you want to improve or enhance in your life. Write the rules of your life in an inspiring manner. BE HONEST; YOU ARE WRITING FOR YOURSELF PRIMARILY. SO BE CREATIVE AND HAVE FUN! pushmag.me

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//FELICITY

THE TRUTH ABOUT PLASTIC SURGERY

ox bot x o bot x o bot “The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.” – Albert Einstein Beauty and truth combined within a sentence and married in an absolute conviction that one and the other are somehow intertwined, yet how are they so when a person discusses cosmetic surgery? Plastic surgery is widely accepted as a means of defying the ageing process, or combating traces of dissatisfaction within one’s body. You would agree that within the context outlined here, truth and beauty are essentially poles apart! Then again, undergoing a certain type of surgery (needed or not) might not necessarily oppose the pursuit of truth. Some may argue that undergoing surger y is the

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pursuit of a higher truth and a means of attaining inner-satisfaction – projecting a ‘better’ image that reflects our need to be appreciated, loved or even admired. With all of that, there’s always a price to pay; and I don’t mean financial. But the inherent possibility that something may go wrong. So, here’s the truth about the probable risks that you may encounter, if and when you go under the knife. As you may have already guessed, going under the knife is on the rise, especially among mothers desperate to get their figures back – or even get figures they’ve never had. The pressure on women to look close to perfect has a darker side. Not too long ago, former Miss


Magnano, a mother of twins, was still successfully working as a model when she booked herself in for the operation in Buenos Aires – a global hotbed of cosmetic surgery. Three days later, she died of a pulmonary embolism. Argentina, Solange Magnano died from complications following g l u t e o p l a s t y, a n i n c re a s i n g l y popular procedure that involves having implants placed in t he buttocks to improve their outline and make them firmer. Magnano, a mot her of twins, was still successfully working as a model when she booked herself in for t he operation in Buenos Aires – a global hotbed of cosmetic surger y. Three days later, she died of a pulmonary embolism. According to repor ts in the Argentinean press, t he clinic visited by Magnano performs an average of no less than 15 cosmetic procedures a day. And although no complaints of malpractice have been filed, questions are being raised over the competence of the doctor who performed the surgery. S a d l y, s t o r i e s l i ke t h e s e a re becoming more prevalent as an increasing number of women opt for quick-fix surgery rather than exercise to address their body hangups. Tameka Foster, the 38-yearold ex-wife of the American singer superstar Usher, suffered cardiac arrest while undergoing routine liposuction in Brazil, one of the top cosmetic-surgery destinations in the world. She wanted to lose her post-baby weight. Foster was lucky: She flew home two weeks after her near-death experience. In the gladiatorial world of international female celebrity, played out in the glare of magazines, TV shows and websites, the pressure to get into

shape, or to look good is intense. It is hardly surprising, then, that liposuction, breast augmentation and a tummy tuck are all on the increase – not only in Brazil, but also in Britain, America and Lebanon of course. According to the Harley Medical Group, plastic surgery in the UK increased by 26 percent in 2008; liposuction was up by 27 percent. In the United States, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons repor ted a 3 percent increase in business from 2007 to 2008. In 2008 alone, 245,000 liposuction procedures were carried out. One Californian surgeon, Dr. David Stoker, says business is booming. “I have one of the busier practices when it comes to doing what we call mommy makeovers,” he says. “There is a large segment of the population who feels reassured that there are nice options for restoring their figure after they have babies.”

“Any licensed physician can call himself a plastic surgeon, so the importance of finding a properly trained and certified professional is vital. Choosing a doctor who is a certified member of an accredited board or society is the first step in ensuring quality care and outcomes.” Meanwhile, as you may have guessed, there is no data available on how many surgeries are performed in the Arab world, and even less so on any t hat might have gone wrong. And yes, things can go wrong; regionally a n d i n t e r n a t i o n a l l y. M o r e interestingly, there are no official statistics in the UK for these types of deaths. Likewise, Brazil has no official statistics for plastic-surgery fatalities either. But there have been a number of high-profile deaths this year alone.

Kanye West’s mother, Donda, and Olivia Goldsmith, author of ‘The First Wives Club’, are two highprofile American women who died after plastic surger y. Magnano is one of 15-recorded fatalities from the “bum lif t” procedure worldwide. Last March, Adriane Mabi Iafrate, 35, a mother and former model, died a week af ter her mommy makeover at the Hospital das Clinicas in Sao Paulo. The doctor who operated on Iafrate, José Carlos Faes Silva, said that she had passed all the pre-operative examinations. He said one possible explanation, though this has yet to be confirmed, was that she’d had a fat embolism, the same fate suffered by Magnano. The most worrying element in all of this is the growing accessibility of invasive cosmetic procedures. In Argentina, adverts for surgery are rife, promising no pain or risk. And you must be aware of the marketing ploy recognizing the importance of cosmetic surgery in Lebanon, in that a respected bank has commenced issuing Cosmetic Surgery Loans to interested parties. ON PREPARING FOR COSMETIC SURGERY Over the years, numerous surgical mishaps have been reported across the Middle East. These devastating accounts of terrible surgeries – mostly brought by inexperienced and unlicensed doctors – have left clients overly concerned about their decisions in going under the knife. It is imperative to choose the right plastic surgeon – this is essential to the patient’s safety and the success of any procedure. Therefore, it is paramount that the chosen surgeon has the right qualifications, ample experience and has documented results of his or her work. “If there are any complications during surgery, an experienced plastic surgeon will be more adept at handling the situation. pushmag.me

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In addition, a plastic surgeon that has performed many surgeries will have had more time to perfect his or her technique and results,” says Dr. Luiz Toledo, a Dubai-based plastic surgeon and a professor with over 30 years of teaching and operating experience in aesthetic plastic surgery. He furthered, “Any licensed physician can call himself a plastic surgeon, so the importance of finding a properly trained and cer tified prof essional is vital. Choosing a doctor who is a certified member of an accredited board or society is the first step in ensuring quality care and outcomes.” In plastic surgery, where many of the procedures are performed in the surgeon’s office, it is relatively easy for a physician to give the impression of a “qualified plastic s u r g e o n ” . F o r exa m p l e , t h e doctor may be board certified by the Aesthetic Medicine Society instead of a Plastic Surgery society. Aesthetic Medicine doctors usually do not have the surgical training of a plastic surgeon. It is important, then, that patients learn about the doctor’s education, training, certification and experience to make the best choice. M o re ove r, i t i s n e ce ssar y t o obser ve whet her t he surgeon has continuing education. The Continual Medical Education – CME – program is being followed in the UAE to periodically recertify the physician’s training, stimulating doctors to attend congresses and have a certain amount of medical education every year. On top of choosing the right plastic surgeon, patients should remember that they are to undergo a medical procedure. Consequently, they should do a thorough check of the medical facility before deciding on anything. Patients must note as well the surgeon's ability to provide post-operative care. According to

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Dr. Toledo, “Good post-operative care is a vital part of any surgery. Visiting the doctor for the first five to ten days after the operation is essential, as is rest and relaxation. But post care does not always end there. It is therefore needed to choose a doctor who is able to refer a patient for further followup consultations and examinations back in the patient's home country.” Plastic surger y has become a mainstream option for women and men in the Middle East where the mushrooming of private clinics in Dubai alone st ands a good testament. Dr. Toledo actually recognized that it is the responsibility of plastic surgeons to provide patients with accurate and appropriate information so that they can make the correct choice. “We still see many clinics that are treating patients with no medical facility on the premises. We need to ensure that patients are well advised of the dangers of invasive surgery at clinics that do not have the necessary equipment or personnel to deal wit h an emergency,” he concluded.

“We still see many clinics that are treating patients with no medical facility on the premises. We need to ensure that patients are well advised of the dangers of invasive surgery at clinics that do not have the necessary equipment or personnel to deal with an emergency” FINAL THOUGHT O n e t h i n g i s f o r s u re : W h e n cosmetic surger y gets to be a wa y of lif e, t he dangers t hat ensue simply become more prominent, as the true self you sought out in the first place starts melting away to a molded Barbie in all its artificiality. If you are

considering going under the knife, do so only after you are certain that risks are minimized. And bear in mind that this is a short-term option – rather than the eternal youth many seek but may never find. “Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.” – Gibran Khalil Gibran By Emile Sinclair

Plastic Surgery Show Tipped for UAE

US Reality television series, 'Doctor 90210', may be adapted for local audiences and f ilmed in the United Arab Emirates, according to the American British Surgical and Medical Centre. The Dubai-based medical facility is in talks with producers to develop a version of the Show. If you have views, comments or personal stories to tell, we’d love to hear from you. Do write us to: feedback@ pushmag.me


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I

n creating a tight bond within the family, it is necessary to establish strong communication among the members. But in a fast-paced world where parents make their work a priority and children prefer to work on their computers instead of c hatting with their parents, it is becoming increasingly difficult to create easyflowing conversations in the family. Ask how school was and your kids would surely answer with one-liners – saying things like “fine”, “ok” or “good”. It would be very hard to extract any further explanation from them with just one question; consequently, you would find yourself probing further until the kids would feel that you’re intruding or nagging. It becomes a dilemma when the lack of communication actually makes you realize that you do not know your children at all. How do you prevent this from happening? What ways can you try to establish connection with your children? How can you talk to them and know them fully? In general, communication entails what you say and how you say it. People communicate with looks (scowls and smiles), with actions

It becomes a dilemma when the lack of communication actually makes you realize that you do not know your children at all.

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Kids, (slaps and hugs), with silence (warm or cold), as well as with words (kind and unkind). Adults usually do not have any difficulty communicating with children when it simply involves giving directions (how to use scissors) or explaining things (why cars are dangerous.) But they sometimes have difficulty communicating when feelings are involved – either the child’s or their own. A study titled ‘Winning Ways to Talk with Young Children’, conducted and published at the University of Maine in 2004, suggests a number of techniques in bridging the communication gap between parents and children. It advocates t hat talking wit h children involves the exchange of words, ideas and feelings, and provides various means by which the choice of language and tone would create free-flowing and positive conversation between you and your children. TALK, TALK, TALK These recommended techniques, based on t he aforementioned

study and articles by Robin McLure (renowned author of parenting books), are wor t h tr ying. But remember that what works for others might not work for you; so better use the manner that is in accordance with your understanding of your children. COMMUNICATE WITH ACCEPTANCE Accepting the child, just as he/she is, makes it easy to communicate with him/her. The child who feels accepted will be more likely to share his feelings and problems. Let's assume he says, “Mom, I’m afraid to sleep alone.” To communicate with acceptance, do not reply by saying, “You are acting like a big baby; you know there is nothing to be scared of!” Instead, tell him, “I know you’re scared. I will turn on the night light, and leave the door open for you.” USE DOOR OPENERS Door openers are invitations to say more – to share ideas and feelings. They tell the child that you are really


let's talk listening and interested; that her ideas are important and that you accept her and respect what she is saying. Some examples are: “Really?”, “How about that?”, “Hmmm”, “I see”, “No kidding” and “Tell me more”. Door openers tell the child that her ideas are important, that you are interested in her ideas and that you respect her ideas. USE MORE “DOS” THAN “DON’TS” Tell the child what to do rather than what not to do. Using “dos” rather than “don’ts” is ver y difficult, especially if adults already have the “don’t” habit. This requires lots of practice and patience. For example, instead of saying, “Do not slam the door”, you should say “Close the door softly, please”. Or, when you want to say, “Don’t draw on the table”, you must think and say, “You can color on this page.” If adults would talk to kids with the same level of consideration as when talking to their friends, they could really communicate with children and be on the way to excellent relationships.

You want to raise a creative and independent thinker. Right? So stop telling your child what he ought to feel or think

USE “I MESSAGES” “I messages” are statements of fact. They tell the child how his behavior makes the adult feel. Often, children don’t know how their behavior affects others. “I messages” are much more effective than “you messages” when the child misbehaves. “I messages” give the child responsibility for changing his own behavior. Instead of using “I messages” to express anger, express the emotion that came before the anger. For example, let’s say your kid runs into the street chasing his ball. Fear probably comes before anger. Say, “I am

really afraid you will be hurt when you run into the street.” Don’t say, “I’m really mad at you for doing that.” Another example is when they are shouting aloud, don’t say, “You better shut up!” Instead, say, “I can’t hear you with all that screaming.” ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS O p e n - e n d e d q u e s t i o n s a l l ow children to express whatever they're thinking. They don't demand a response, but leave space for the child to answer thoughtfully. This kind of questioning encourages creative thinking, problem solving and imagination. Plus when you take the time to listen to a longer answer, you are sending a strong non-verbal message that you value your child and his thoughts and ideas. Some common ways to start the open-ended questions are: “What would happen if”, “In what way”, “How can we”, and “What do you think about”. LISTEN ATTENTIVELY Get rid of distractions and pay attention to what the child is saying. At times, adults may need to stop whatever they are doing and listen to the child. It is difficult to run the vacuum cleaner, cook dinner or read the paper and, at the pushmag.me

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same time, pay close attention to what the child is saying. ASK WHAT THEY THINK INSTEAD OF TELLING THEM WHAT YOU THINK You want to raise a creative and independent thinker. Right? So stop telling your child what he ought to feel or think. You can gently encourage additional conversation by simply asking why he feels the way he does or what would he do in a certain situation. But be careful not to overdo it when talking with your child. TELL S TORIES ABOUT YOURSELF GROWING UP Kids can relate to you and other adults when you tell stories about your own childhood experiences when you were t heir age. Telling them about things such as embarrassing events that happened or the first crush you had helps them connect with you and understand that you might actually know what they are going through! AVOID INTERROGATING YOUR CHILD You may think you're just asking questions out of curiosity when communicating with your child, but a kid who is bombarded with an endless stream of questions about what they did, who acted like what, did everyone get along, did you go to the bathroom, etc., is enough to make anyone shut down! Practice patience and let your kids open up on their own terms.

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DON'T JUDGE OR CRITICIZE Parents can sometimes issue such harsh and even close-minded decrees that kids at a young age decide it is best not to talk about something rather than have to sit through your criticisms. If you really want to know what's on your child's mind, avoid passing judgment and focus instead on why something seems important to your child. SHARE QUALITY FAMILY TIME Find ways to connect with your kids through communications in activities that are mutually fun for you both. Whether it is taking the dog for a nightly walk after dinner, swimming in the backyard pool, playing a game of hoops or watching a favorite show together, planning low-stress activities and family fun together help set the stage for great conversation. REMEMBER Good communication helps children develop confidence, feelings of self-worth and good relationships with others. It makes life with them more pleasant and helps them grow into adults who have good feelings about themselves and others. By Sherry Tenorio

Tell the child what to do rather than what not to do. Using “dos” rather than “don’ts” is very difficult, especially if adults already have the “don’t” habit


What you see is a kitchen made by Hacker. A quality you will have to get used to.

Now represented in Beirut:

98 Abdel Wahad el Inglizi st. Achrafieh, SODECO Tel.: +961 (0) 1 215 261 • Fax: +961 (0) 1 215 262 Gsm: +961 70 22 88 12 • E-mail: thekitchenconcept@gmail.com


//THE USUALS

Conversation Starters at Business Functions The most vital aspect about starting a conversation at a business function is to be as natural and laidback as possible. If you seem anxious or uncomfortable, it is likely that you will make the other person feel the same way. Consequently, the conversation will fall flat or feel awkward. So before you approach someone to begin a conversation, take a deep breath and make sure that you have something stimulating to discuss. The best two topics to open a conversation with are the present situation and something about the person that you are approaching.

Here are some examples:

• “How did you decide to go into this business?” This will get anyone talking. The reason they are at this business function is to talk about their business. • “What do you find most challenging about [your industry] these days?” Fill in the name of the industry with banking, computer maintenance, financial planning, etc. • “Who would be a good referral for you at this point?” This will create an immediate networking opportunity; the person is now anxious to give you ideas on how to help him/her.

"Term of the Month" |Self-Actualization| Psychologist Abraham Maslow explicitly defines self-actualization to be "the desire for self-fulfillment, namely the tendency for him/ her [the individual] to become actualized in what he/she is potentially. This tendency might be phrased as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming." Maslow used the term “self-actualization” to describe a desire not a driving force - that could lead to realizing one's capabilities. Maslow did not feel that self-actualization determined one's life; rather, he felt that it gave the individual a desire, or motivation to achieve budding ambitions.

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DE GRISOGONO

NEW JEWELRY COLLECTION LAUNCH LE GREY HOTEL - NOVEMBER 2010

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//THE USUALS

THE NEW ARAB WOMAN FORUM

LEADERSHIP AND SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

T

he New Arab Woman Forum on “Leadership and Social Responsibility� took place recently in Beirut. The event attracted a host of Arab and International leaders and distinguished personalities; participants and speakers included ministers, businessmen/businesswomen, writers, actors, journalists, experts and heads of NGOs. More than 40 prominent speakers participated in the interactive panels. The Forum discussed many issues of the hour, with a special emphasis on women and politics, social media, corporate social responsibility and social responsibility in cinema, television and per forming ar ts. The program included interactive sessions on environmental issues as well as social entrepreneurship.

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ARAB THOUGHT FOUNDATION NINTH ANNUAL CONFERENCE

Arab Thought Foundation Ninth Annual Conference (FIKR 9) was recently held in Beirut under the title "Shaping the Future ... Arabs' Role?”. The purpose of the conference is to bring together the best minds that the Arab world has to offer – including academics, entrepreneurs and decision makers – in an attempt to exchange ideas and insights, to discuss obstacles confronting our region today and to deliberate means of utilizing available opportunities and untapped potential. The conference sheds light on vital matters pertaining to the future of the region. Moreover, it focuses on the importance of reaping the benefits of emerging possibilities by adopting proper courses of action.

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//THE USUALS

WOMEN LEADERS

ADVOCATE SISTERHOOD IN BUSINESS Arab businesswomen and aspiring leaders attending the Women in Leadership (WIL) Forum, which was held recently in Abu Dhabi, were urged to share t heir experiences and of fer advice. Most importantly, they were asked to provide solidarity if women in general are to make genuine strides towards the boardroom.

ABU DHABI

Delivering the opening keynote by video, Christine Lagarde (French Minister of Economy, Industry and Employment) said it is essential that women who had climbed the corporate ladder to support the sisterhood in business. “By supporting our ‘sisters’ we can overcome this so-called veiled female talent and afford competent women throughout the region the opportunities they deserve,” said Sophie Le Ray, CEO of naseba. During her introduction, conference chairperson, TV anchor and broadcaster Rebecca McLaughlinDuane told delegates that women have numerous qualities. However, accomplished businesswomen should, “Train and pass on their experience to other women climbing the corporate ladder,” commented McLaughlin-Duane.

Other high profile speakers during the first session included Fatima Al Jaber, COO of Al Jaber Group. “Women are effective leaders at home and it is important to recall this expertise when entering a commercial operation,” said Al Jaber, who was voted by Forbes Arabia as the seventh most influential woman in the Arab world in 2008. Afnan Rashid Al Zayami, Chairwoman of Al Zayani Commercial Services said, “Don’t fall into a trap by imitating the other leadership styles. Leaders are not gender specific. So be yourself; act as a confident and capable leader.” Opening highlights on day two of the forum included, Dr. Amanda Nimon Peters, who is the Managing Director of Sara Black International – a training and talent development agency. “Da y two of t he f or um is designed to persuade the next generation of influential women to succeed as individuals, team leaders and organisational visionaries. Therefore, identifying and enhancing skills are critical to success and advancement in the workplace,” explained Sophie Le Ray.

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JEDDAH HOSTED KINGDOM WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP FORUM UNDER THE PATRONAGE OF HRH PRINCESS LOLOWAH AL FAISAL Saudi Arabia’s successful businesswomen participated in a groundbreaking forum that celebrated their emerging role in today’s competitive society. The Kingdom Women in Leadership (WIL) Forum was held in Jeddah under the patronage of HRH Princess Lolowah Al Faisal, vice chair and general super visor of the board of trustees of Effat University, Jeddah.

KSA

The WIL Forum, organized by UAE business information group Naseba in partnership with the STAR Group (Saudi Trading and Resources Co. Ltd), was an invitation-only event, dedicated to women and their development in the community. Its aim was to unite an inspirational line-up of influential women from across the Kingdom to discuss and celebrate their emerging role in today’s competitive society.

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BRAIN

//THE USUALS

Neurobic Exercises Training your mental muscles Neurobic exercises enhance your mental performance by stimulating nerve cells necessary to activate new brain circuits. And making multi-sensory associations and doing something novel that is important or engaging to you form the basis of a Neurobic exercise. To be Neurobic, an exercise should do one or more of the following: 1. Involve one or more of your senses in a novel context. You can use additional senses to do an ordinary task by blunting the sense normally used. For instance: Get dressed for work or take a shower with your eyes closed. Eat a meal with your family in silence. Use only visual cues. Or combine two or more senses in unexpected ways like listening to a specific piece of music while smelling a particular aroma. 2. Engage your attention. To stand out from the background of everyday activities, something has to be unusual, fun, surprising or evoke one of your basic emotions like happiness, love or anger: Go camping for the weekend. Take your child, spouse or parent to your work for the day. 3. Break a routine activity in an unexpected, novel way (novelty just for its own sake is not highly Neurobic). Take a completely new route to work. Shop at a farmer's market instead of a supermarket. Completely rearrange your office and desktop

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My boss answers her phone about 30 times during a meeting; more often than not, the calls are personal. I feel like she doesn’t value our time as her employees. How do I talk to her about this without affecting our relationship and my job? Maha – Egypt Dear Maha, Your boss seems like she needs to organize and to prioritize. You can’t say anything to her during the meeting. So after one of your meetings, ask to talk to her privately and discuss with her the fact that your meetings are taking longer than expected. Tell her you feel that the meetings are not productive anymore due to interruptions – breaking up the chain of thought and the momentum of the meetings. She will get the hint.

I’m becoming an expert in my field just by experience – my BA is in another field. How important is it to have a degree in the exact field in which you are working? School of Life Student – Syria Dear Student, Sometimes experience is all you need. But if you love your job, you might really enjoy getting a degree to go with your great career. Getting a degree is not just about acquiring a piece of paper. In addition to learning a completely new career, you will benefit from meeting and brainstorming with others in your field. In contrast, on-the-ground experience is more valuable to some companies. So until you make up your mind about whether you want to return to university or not, you should seek “continuing education” in your field – like certificates to obtain or seminars to attend. People who upgrade their work skills and knowledge not only keep up with the latest technologies and business techniques, but also receive other benefits such as the training needed to climb the corporate ladder and to realize additional career goals. Continuing education has become less of an option and more of a necessity.

I have a friend who LOVES sending forwards to my email address. She forwards everything from jokes, scams and greetings. I would hate to block her, because we do communicate through email sometimes. But she's filling up my inbox with junk everyday! What do I do? Anti Spam – Jordan Dear Anti Spam, I hear ya... we all have friends like those. People feel "connected" when they send these email to each other, without having to actually communicate. Most likely, it’s a stage that she will grow out of. Until then, tell her that your inbox is getting filled up and causing you to miss some important emails. She'll understand if you say it nicely. If you work, you can tell her that most of the time you check your emails at work and can't possibly open all the files she sends. If you don't work, you can say that your connection is too slow to open pictures and attachments, and that you prefer to receive only the important, personal emails from her.

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CONFERENCES DUBAI

LEBANON

Third Arabplast Summit 10-11 Jan Center for Management Technology 65 6345 7322 sharm@cmtsp.com.sg www.cmtevents.com

Arab Telecom and Internet Forum 26-27 Jan Al-Iktissad Wal-Aamal Group 961 1 780 200 info@iktissad.com www.iktissad.com

Fourth GCC Internal Tourism Development Conference 12-13 Jan Datamatix Group 971 4 332 6688 info@datamatixgroup.com www.datamatixgroup.com

Unveiling the Moral Purpose of Business 27 Jan World Trade Center – Beirut (WTC) 961 1 737522 info@csr-event.com www.csr-event.com

Ninth GCC Government and Business Customer Care and Organizational KPI Conference 23-26 Jan Datamatix Group 971 4 332 6688 info@datamatixgroup.com www.datamatixgroup.com HR Technology MENA 2011 23-26 Jan IQPC Middle East 971 4 364 2975 enquiry@iqpc.ae www.iqpc.ae GCC Contract Processing and Tender Evaluations Conference 25-26 Jan Datamatix Group 971 4 332 6688 info@datamatixgroup.com www.datamatixgroup.com Global Rating Agencies Criteria and Strategy for GCC Organizations Assessment Conference 26 Jan Datamatix Group 971 4 332 6688 info@datamatixgroup.com www.datamatixgroup.com

JORDAN Event Planning and Management Conference 24-25 Jan Events UnLimited 962 6 5656550 info@eventsunlimited.com.jo www.eventsunlimited.com.jo

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OMAN Oman Construction Summit 30 Jan-2 Feb IQPC Middle East 971 4 363 1938 enquiry@iqpc.ae www.iqpc.ae


EXHIBITIONS DUBAI

KUWAIT

Tenth Arab International Plastics and Rubber Industry Trade Show and Conference 8-11 Jan Al Fajer and Information Services 071 4 340 6888 jeen@alfajer.net www.dubaiautumnfair.com

TransKuwait 11-12 Jan Oman International Trade and Exhibitions OITE 968 24564 303 info@oite.com www.oite.com

Education UK Exhibition 17-18 Jan Dubai World Trade Center 971 4 332 1000 info@dwtc.com www.dwtc.com

ABU DHABI World Future Environment Exhibition 17-20 Jan Reed Exhibitions Middle East 971 2 444 6113 ria.andaya@reedexpo.ae www.reedexpo.com Tawdheef 25-27 Jan The Abu Dhabi Tawteen Council and Turret Middle East 971 2406 4561 s.patel@turretme.com www.al-hader.com

Smart Buildings Safety and Security Expo 30 Jan- 3 Feb Infocenter for Exhibitions and Marketing Consultancy 965 2247 1313 t.mohammad@infocenter.com.kw www.infocenterexpo.com.kw Kuwait’s IT and Communications Integrated Solutions Trade Exhibition 30 Jan-3 Feb Infocenter for Exhibitions and Marketing Consultancy 965 22471313 r.chilamban@infocenter.com.kw www.infocenter.com.kw Kuwait’s 30th International Information Technology Office Systems and Communications Exhibition 30 Jan-5 Feb 965 22471313 r.chilamban@infocenter.com.kw www.infocenter.com.kw www.infocenter.com.kw

KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA Construction and Projects Forum 18-19 Jan Al-Iktissad Wal-Aamal Group 966 1 462 6866 info@iktissad.com www.iktissad.com

KINGDOM OF BAHRAIN Gulf International Industry Fair 18-20 Jan Bahrain Convention and Exhibition Authority 973 17299123 info@bahrainexhibitions.com www.bahrainexhibitions.com

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CHINESE RAT

Born in the year: 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008 WORK: Business and creative Rats will be guided by helpful Celestial energies towards closing deals and increasing sales. Utilize this bright tide to achieve goals, to get things done or to arrange meetings. LOVE: Avoid arguments around the 21st. If you’re in a loving relationship, express your romantic side and you’ll renew or strengthen the vital emotional ties. HEALTH: Try not to tackle anything stressful or your health could suffer.

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Ox

Born in the year: 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009 WORK: Work hard, for this is the time to utilize and express your ideas. It might not be apparent, but your efforts will be appreciated eventually. LOVE: Try to tolerate the whining of family members, colleagues, friends or love partners. Examine the bigger picture; such complaints won’t affect your ability to function. HEALTH: Ox people may enjoy the summer, but they’re often very vibrant and insightful during the winter. Hassles will diminish and you’ll be empowered to put your life back on track.

Tiger

Rabbit

WORK: Tigers often become over enthusiastic when they meet new people. Luckily, their jungle cat intuition helps them in sizing up people accurately.

WORK: Don’t take risks or act without thinking. Expect weird problems, delays and odd phone calls. Pay attention to details, and don’t assume that you know all the answers.

Born in the year: 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010

LOVE: It is looking good in terms of building friendships and strengthening ties. However, don’t allow work hassles and financial worries to drag your spirits down. HEALTH: Friendly gettogethers and family bonding will brighten your aura. Engage with the seasonal energies and life will be fun.

Born in the year: 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999

LOVE: Your creativity, spirituality and romantic self will be rekindled. Follow your intuition when it comes to developing a love relationship. HEALTH: Home life will be smooth, so make an effort to spend time with your other half or children. The holiday season will give you a chance to relax and to pay attention to your loved ones.


HOROSCOPE Dragon

Snake

Horse

Goat

WORK: Extra chores or tasks will keep you busy. You’ll be feeling optimistic and will have most issues under control.

WORK: Be careful with money and keep up to date with paperwork. A certain relationship will be tense, so act carefully and think before you speak.

WORK: It’s best to remain cautious and avoid committing yourself to extra work or additional financial expenditure. Be diplomatic and stay cool.

WORK: There will be opportunities to generate extra income. Creative Sheep will find themselves inspired and able to make excellent progress.

LOVE: Single Snakes will bump into someone interesting. Get to know him before you leap into a relationship. But expect some drama.

LOVE: This is the time to express your thoughts and emotions. Single Horses will attract some loving attention.

LOVE: Partnered Sheep will be empowered to create tighter bonds with their loved ones. There’s a romantic development for single Sheep.

Born in the year: 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000

LOVE: Whichever sphere you’re in right now, the Celestial energies are most favorable for planning and execution. But be careful about trusting everyone. HEALTH: Be sure not to let awkward individuals stress you out and affect your mood. Ignore them and concentrate instead on the people who matter.

Born in the year: 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001

HEALTH: Whatever conflicts arise at home, show that you are enthusiastic and that you have good intentions. Don’t let it get to you, for you might get depressed.

Born in the year: 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002

HEALTH: Try to remain strong and continue to live life to the max. Stress will only reduce the opportunity of improvement, so do your best to unwind.

Born in the year: 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003

HEALTH: At least one longstanding problem will be solved before the festive season. So worry not, for stress levels will be low despite the busyness of the season.

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//THE USUALS

Monkey

Rooster

Dog

BOAR

WORK: Creative Monkeys will find not only inspiration but also the energy to realize their potential. Business Monkeys will be filled with ideas to maximize their profits.

WORK: You need to prepare for extra spending on seasonal repairs and maintenance. Financial caution is advised.

WORK: You’ll have some financial luck, with a bonus payment, small win or extra income opportunities. Explore new possibilities and lay plans for next year.

WORK: There’ll be news and rumors at work that could stir insecurities. Have faith in yourself and this won’t affect your mood for long.

Born in the year: 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004

LOVE: Romantic Celestial energies promise love opportunities for single Monkeys. Even the married among you will be empowered to rekindle some passion. HEALTH: Continue with your rigorous diet and exercise regimen. Enjoy the celebratory mood but be wary of big festive dinners.

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Born in the year: 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005

LOVE: Enjoy the social opportunities that arise, especially if they revolve around an existing romance or a new relationship. But be careful not to neglect friends that need you. HEALTH: You don’t have to organize everyone or get everything done all at once. You’ll have fun during the holiday break and experience some heart-warming moments.

Born in the year: 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006

LOVE: Empowering Celestial energies will ensure that you’ll be able to develop your current romance. HEALTH: Pay attention to your health and to the needs of your children – listen! Your vitality will increase, injecting extra zest into your work, love, spiritual and creative lives.

Born in the year: 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007

LOVE: Single Pigs will find that a newcomer will make quite an impression, and partnered Pigs should try to put the romance back into their relationship. HEALTH: You will feel pressure and stress this month. Do your best to relax your mind, and try to fulfill your social duties during this season.


SMART SNACKING TIPS FOR THE OFFICE ASIDE FROM HAVING A HEARTY BREAKFAST, POWER LUNCH AND LIGHT DINNER, TAKING SNACKS BETWEEN MEALS IS AN OPTION CONSIDERED BY MANY. SINCE WE KNOW THAT BEING AT THE OFFICE COULD BE DETRIMENTAL TO A HEALTHY DIET, AS THERE IS THE TEMPTATION TO GRAB THE EASIEST FOOD ONE COULD BUY (POTATO CHIPS, CHOCOLATE BARS, ORDER-IN FRENCH FRIES, TO NAME A FEW), WE’D LIKE TO PROVIDE YOU WITH TIPS ON HOW TO KEEP SNACKING AT THE OFFICE IN A HEALTHY MANNER.

• If you find yourself seeking out a high-calorie snack every afternoon, that's a sure sign you're not eating the right lunch. Enjoy a good mix of fat, protein and healthy carbohydrates at lunch. If your lunch has the proper nutrients, then a small snack (like a piece of fruit with an ounce of walnuts or almonds) should be satisfying.

• Keep a stash of healthy snacks in your office drawer. Put in an opaque container with a lid your favorite food. We suggest that you start with unsalted mixed nuts, whole grain crackers, fruits and instant oatmeal. • Aside from keeping a snack stash in your drawer, you can also keep inside your purse portable snacks in zipper bags. So that even if you’re hurrying to a meeting, you can conveniently eat a cereal bar, nuts or dried fruits. • If you’re office has a minifridge, you can store yogurt, sliced veggies (carrots are the best to nibble) or fresh fruits (apples are highly recommended.) • For those who have sweet cravings, you can opt for unsweetened hot chocolate or a single serving of dark chocolate.

• Pack your own lunch at home the night before. This is very important. The one and only sure way to avoid temptation is to bring your own lunch from home. • Be sensitive of the people around when you’re eating snacks or any meal in your office. Try to be mindful of their culture and allergies before you heat any thing in the microwave oven or offer them something. Take note that fish smell is quite difficult to eradicate, as is the odour of cumin, onion and garlic. Know what’s healthy for you, and know what’s healthy for your workmates too. • Remember, snacks are meant to keep you from overeating. Don’t let the approaching deadline or the stressful meeting make you reach for food to tame tension. Try deep breathing instead of munching – trust us, it works like magic. pushmag.me

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//THE USUALS Connect with companies about your CSR Project! YAWE WANTS TO HELP YOU PITCH YOUR CORPORATE SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY IDEA TO COMPANIES! The Cisco Entrepreneur Institute is a global initiative to help entrepreneurs start, grow and IT-enable their business. It provides:

• Entrepreneur-specific business

training developed by Cisco® in cooperation with Stanford University, Cornell University, and My Own Business, Inc.

To submit your project, or for more info, Please email us at: csr@yawe.org

INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITIES: For investment inquiries or to enlist your project email: bizops@pushmag.me

1- E-commerce: An online interactive website that targets men & women of all ages. Great earning potential, minimum risk! For more info refer to code 001FD

• A resource center where

entrepreneurs can find sound business advice, mentoring, and services

• Internet business solutions

2- Brand Launching: Retail/Franchising opportunity! Unique “theme” Boutique. Original concept & design. Looking for investors/agents/distributors in the MENA area. For more info refer to code 001IC

• A connected community of

entrepreneurs in Lebanon, the region, and around the world

Workshops offered by the Cisco Entrepreneur Institute at AMIDEAST/Lebanon:

3- Investors Needed for a High End Bridal Center- A Dream Come True for every bride! Bridal services, from A to Z. Design, concept & execution completed & ready for execution. Looking to open in Lebanon by 2011. For inquiries refer to code 001RT

Starting a Business Growing a Business iExec Enterprise Essentials iExec Public Sector Essentials Entrepreneurial Mindset Career Essentials Computer Literacy For more information: Allyson Jerab Email: ajerab@amideast.org Phone: 01-989901 ext: 234 Web: amideast.org/lebanon

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January 2011  

Do you really think you know who you are? When self-awareness leads to success

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