A White Christmas Eve ILLUSTRATION • SHU-FEN CHEN | STORY • PINFAN
潑墨書房 A puomo.com publication
Itâ€™s just another day of emptiness. Very few would bother to visit the shop on a chilly day.
I am always thinking if I really have to live in regret for the rest of my life.
Arriving in the strange country with two yearsâ€™ saving in wish to get a college degree, I end up spending most of my time moonlighting.
Whenever loneliness hits me, I am reminded of the boyfriend I left behind.
At the time, it felt like the right decision,
but I didnâ€™t know the consequences would be painful to bear.
Without any warning, I told him Iâ€™m leaving; but he kindly spared me of any argument.
I burst out, made a scene, as if he was the one breaking the relationship.
If I hadnâ€™t known better, I would think he wasnâ€™t even in sorrow.
Wondering what he is up to now...
...last year felt like a century away.
He smoked too much, but he would wave his hands in the air to keep the cigarette fume away from my direction.
Ironically now, the stinky aroma is what reminds me most of him.
People here smoke too. Same brand of cigarettes, but different faces.
First two months in the new country wore me out completely. When I finally found a place to stay and work to occupy my time. But the cigarette aroma, his aroma, broke me down.
Went to school with swollen eyes,
because I couldnâ€™t shut my eyes to sleep without thinking about him.
During the day, it was alright, people pass by, come and go...
... and trivial things fill up my time.
The roses in the glass box was the only flower he ever gave me.
He never brought me flowers, after I told him I donâ€™t like lifeless petals.
I keep the roses in two glass chests, one for each of us.
I really shouldnâ€™t have brought this with me.
The roses are like magic that bring him to me.
He just sit beside me with a cigarette, looking at the flowers, and smiles.
Time to go. Everyday repeats itself again and again.
I bought him a flight ticket with months of savings...
...have him received it yet?
I donâ€™t even know if he would forgive me.
Itâ€™s so cold...
...almost too cold for winters.
My dear lord, if youâ€™re listening...
...please tell him I am waiting here at 139° 45’ east and 35° 39’ on this side of the world.
A White Christmas Eve ILLUSTRATION BY SHU-FEN CHEN STORY BY PINFAN ENGLISH TRANSLATION BY VLADIMIR STOLICHNAYA
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Published on Oct 8, 2012
"A White Christmas Eve" by Shu-fen Chen and Pinfan, a renowned illustrator couple in the Chinese-speaking world, is the story of a girl stud...