5 minute read
LEGAL
Najmin Matin and the Heald Family Department deal with separations and divorces with kindness and good sense.
Artemis House, 4 Bramley Road Milton Keynes MK1 1PT
The above information is for general guidance only and does not constitute legal advice. Heald Solicitors disclaims and excludes any liability in respect of the contents of this article or for action taken based on this information. If you need legal advice, please contact a solicitor. It can be extremely frustrating if you have made an application to the court to have contact with your children and your ex has made allegations about you. Being faced with this kind of situation can make it harder for you to be practical and realistic. What you need to do is work on a plan to knock down each barrier between your current situation and your ultimate goal.
You need to remember that until the judge has decided whether the allegations raised are true, there is a duty to protect the children if there is a risk of harm. It can feel disenchanting or even infuriating when false or exaggerated allegations are made against you, especially when they are made with the aim of limiting or preventing contact.
However, patience will be needed until the court has had the opportunity to hear the evidence. Try to focus on ensuring that any contact, whether direct or indirect, is positive and try not to open yourself up to any criticism. Gather any evidence in support of your case, take part in any assessments that are recommended or directed by the court, and demonstrate to the court that you are a caring parent who has their child’s best interests at heart. Focus on the things you can control - which is your own behaviour and your own evidence.
Avoid falling into the trap of mudslinging and having it out with your ex in the court arena just because they are making false allegations about you. This will just create a bad impression and distract you from the strengths of your case. Also, try and foresee the consequences of your actions. If the allegations are that you are violent or have anger management problems, your ex could easily provoke you into behaving in a certain way and then using your reaction as evidence to prove their point.
It is also tempting to respond to allegations with counter allegations. Unless your application is also an application for the children to live with you, this is unlikely to help your case and may even harm your case, because the court may see you as hostile. It is difficult to be the only parent under the spotlight, but if you are asking for contact and serious allegations have been made against you, that is the way it is, and the court process will need to be followed. So, concentrate on showing why there are no good reasons to restrict your contact, rather than on trying to prove that your ex is worse than you. The court will usually restrict the issues and the evidence to what is relevant to the application at hand, so if you are applying for contact, the court is not going to be making decisions about the standard of your ex’s parenting; but will be more concerned about the level of contact that you are seeking and whether this in the child’s best interests. Going on about how rubbish the other parent is will just give the court the impression that you are resentful towards your ex and less interested in the welfare of your children.
As a general rule: If you are applying to have contact with your children, put your best feet forward and concentrate on showing yourself in the best light, instead of trying to show your ex in a bad light. And finally remember, the court will take the view in almost all cases that children should have a relationship with both parents, unless it finds that the children will be at serious risk of harm if direct and/or indirect contact is to take place.
If you are looking for further assistance or information that will give you peace of mind, our family law team would be delighted to help you.
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