Page 1

Elections: You can make a difference!

Inside... NEWS Thieves in the Union, New CCi Space, Retreat on funds, Politics. dates subject to change

If you have the skill and commitment to represent the 20,000 students at the University of Portsmouth for a year, and get paid for it, then being a Sabbatical Officer could be for you. The jobs range from organising exciting fundraising events to debating the role of the University; another plus side is that

you get to continue student experience and go out to the Union for another year. The Union need dedicated, committed people to put themselves forward for election to represent the students of our University. These positions are also the Trustees of the UPSU charity, the organisation dedicated to representing and developing the students needs. Nominations open on 28th


Issue 8 Wednesday 23.01.08

Portsmouth’s official student newspaper

Jacob Leverett News Editor


pugwash news January and will close at 6pm on 18th February. The dates, times and places of Question Times will be confirmed later, although they will begin the week commencing 3rd March. Nominees need to collect a candidate pack from the Students’ Union or download it from the elections webpages. For further information visit:

Pages 2 - 3

Jan 28th: Nominations open


Feb 18th: Nominations close

NSS Comments, Societies Spotlight, Sabb Corner, Ben Fogle.

Mar 3rd: Hustings week Mar 10th: Campaign week Mar 12th: Polls open Mar 14th: Polls close & results

Pages 4 - 7

REVIEWS Singles, Hundred Reasons, Charlie Wilson’s War and Student Theatre Page 8

SPORTS President

Sports Officer

Media and Publications Officer

Student Activities and Development Officer

Student Support Officer

Education and Representation Officer

The figurehead of the Union, they lead the Union’s direction and act as the link between the University, the Union, and the students of Portsmouth. Highlight: representing the needs of 18,000 students, and building a democratic Union which can serve the needs of all its students. Questions? president

Oversees the running of sports clubs, and helps to guide the direction and development of sport at the University. Acts as a liaison between the AU’s clubs and the University. Highlight: seeing how quickly our hard work can make a huge difference to the Atheletic Union’s success. Questions? sportsofficer

Guides the development of Union media, publicises Union campaigns, and helps to develop the student media experience at the Union. Highlight: developing the Union’s media and the students who make it a force for change, and seeing how much amazing work the Union’s student volunteers do. Questions? mediaofficer

Coordinates and oversees the Union’s societies, VIP volunteering and STAND student development. Works closely with the student body to promote diversity in their University. Highlight: organising new and fun events, developing societies and launching volunteering projects. Questions? studentactivitiesofficer

Responsible for student welfare matters, from campaigns to indvidual representation, and oversees Union Council and RAG - Raising and Giving. Highlight: organising campaigns and related events, helping with RAG, and assisting students with welfare issues. Questions? studentsupportofficer

Helps students with academic problems, offering advice and representation, manages course reps, and deals with student disciplinaries. Highlight: helping students when they’re in difficulty with their coursework or department, and developing the powerful course reps system. Questions? edandrepofficer

Polo Club, Ski and Snowboard, Equestrian Club, Gotchas. Page 9 - 12

DAWN OF A NEW ERA Find out more about the new AU

Page 10

University Events


Website News

Pugwash News

Photography exhibiton

One World Week

New JobShop website

Want to write for us?

University photography students will be holding an exhibition at Portsmouth Cathedral, on St Thomas' Street between the 19th and 31st January. The exhibition, titled “Watch This Space”, consists of 35 images that investigate spaces, objects and people. The students were all given the same brief, but the way that each individual approached the task has produced a varied collection of photographs. The Cathedral is open from 10am to 4pm every day. - LP

One World Week is happening at the Students' Union between 23rd February and 1st March to celebrate the many different cultures and backgrounds of the students here at Portsmouth. The week aims to be a celebration of the international mix of students present at the University of Portsmouth and aims to stimulate personal development and inspire a view based on acceptance and appreciation of the world's mosaic of cultures. The week also highlights the importance of awareness of global issues which affect our One World.

There will be films, debates, sporting events and music nights, all finished off with a massive One World Fashion Show and Party, to show off traditional dress from around the world. If you would like to get involved in any of the events, or have any suggestions - you could run a stall, host a display, hold demonstrations, performances, workshops, or debates, anything really - please contact Elle Gray, Student Union President. Or, you can join the event on Facebook for updates.

The new JobShop webpages have gone online, making it easier for students to find part-time employment. The new site allows for simpler keyword searching and is easier to navigate. The JobShop supplies information and advice on employmentrelated issues, along with helping students find part time employment. UPSU was one of the first Students' Unions in the country to establish an on-site job shop, and this dedication to its students employment needs is mirrored by the new webpages. -JL

Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays is the Union’s student newspaper. If you have something to shout about, from burning issues to match reports, comment to features, or you want to photograph, design or help lay up, get in touch!


More info:

More info online at:

More info:

Pugwash News



Wednesday 23rd January 2008


What’s happening at the Union?

UCAS shows effect of fees Jacob Leverett News Editor

Figures released by the University and College Admissions Service (UCAS) have shown that the overall number of students applying to university has increased. The raise is about 5.6% up from 506,304 in 2006 to 534,495 in 2007. Other statistics within the report demonstrate that the percentage of students coming from low socio-economic groups has increased by 7.7%. Anthony McClaran, Chief Executive of UCAS, said “These figures are encouraging news for the higher education sector and demonstrate that students' desire for a university education in the UK has not diminished." However, the National Union of Students (NUS) disagrees. Gemma

Tumelty, the NUS President stated that "These figures are extremely worrying. Although the overall number of accepted applications has risen since 2005, there are now fewer students from poorer backgrounds and fewer students over the age of twenty five - exactly the students the sector is trying to attract." Tumelty continued to state that "Top-up fees could be seriously hampering the Government's agenda to widen participation in higher education. This must be acknowledged in the 2009 fees review. Unless a fairer system is implemented, university will only be accessable to those who can afford it." Fees are currently about £3,000 a year. To view more information go to:

Partial retreat on funding for second degrees Jacob Leverett News Editor

Following coverage of funding cuts in the last issue for students on parttime courses and those taking second degrees, the government has announced concessions. Bill Rammell, the Higher Education minister, has announced that £10m will be made available to part-time students. The money, redirected under the new proposals will allow about 10% of the original proposed finance cut to remain in place. The original proposals aimed to direct funding away from students studying part-time and second degrees, but following consultation and objections by various bodies, including the Open University, who were expected to lose a significant amount of funding of about £30m, opposition to the plans have welcomed the government's “partial retreat”.

A government minister has unveiled minor changes to the system although Rammell stated "I strongly believe it is right that people who have never had the chance to go to university should be given priority over those who have already received tax payers' support to get a degree".

£10m will be made available to parttime students”

The Shadow Innovation, Universities and Skills Secretary David Willets has stated that “It is good that the government is finally abandoning its aggressive defence of these cuts for second chance students. But there is still more to do." To find the original story go to:

Time Wasting

Pugwash news & Purple Wednesdays

“Small print”

Contacting us

Editorial Team


Produced fortnightly by the University of Portsmouth Students’ Union (UPSU). Printed by Quotemeprint, 0845 130 0667, and now printed on 100% recycled paper. Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays bears no allegiance to any political party and discriminates against no-one. We apologise for refering to Timbaland as a “Brighton-based four piece”! And to Ed Butterfield and Tim Dubber for the loss of their words. And to Adam Sunman for being mistaken for Jacob Leverett.

To get in touch with the Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays team, please visit, e-mail us at, call us via the Union’s Media & Publications Officer at 023 9284 3657, or visit us at The Student Centre, Portsmouth Students’ Union, Cambridge Road, Portsmouth, Hampshire, PO1 2EF.


Thanks for this issue go to:

Editor: Laura Patricia News Editor: Jacob Leverett Design Editor: Tom Worman Features Editor: Chris Burden Sports Editor: Tim Edwards Reviews Editor: Tallie Kane Web Editor: Luke Simmonds

Errors & omissions: while we take every care to verify our content, we may occasionally make mistakes. Please contact us using the details above to report any inaccuracies or mistakes.

Sub Editors

Liz Barlow, Yusuf Bhunnoo, Stephanie Box, Ed Butterfield, Kim Croutear, Tim Dubber, Ben Endley, Lizzie Fitzwater, Elle Gray, Alex Harries, Kelly Hughes, Kate Hyder, Sally Jones, Steve Jones, Kat King, Tiffany Lee, Marty McKinlay, Saraid Morgan, Ben Norman, Gamel Oki, Ben Pearson, Martin Saxton, Gaeten Staples, Adam Sunman, Sophie Turner, Tom West & Pete Williams.

Design: Andy Donohoe, Kev Wilkins Features: Steph Hall, Matt Blackall, Nicholas Prangnell Sports: Peppa Barnett, Marisa May

To get involved next issue, email or visit

Mini Sudoku

For the answer, look online at:

Pugwash News

Wednesday 23rd January 2008



The Fortnight’s Thief targets the Students’ Union Politics Adam Sunman Political Correspondent

Foreign ‘Fat English milk


CCi exhibition resounding success

Alex Harries & Jacob Leverett



The Liberal Democrat Party this week condemned the government for ignoring the UK English Language tests. Proposed legislation will mean those wishing to work in the UK will have to pass an English test unless, that is, they are worth over £1m. The Liberal Democrats claimed that it seemed to be ‘One law for the rich and another for everyone else!’ The Government claimed that the exception would encourage investment, but experts are worried that the move would open the door to crime bosses. Investors do have to prove ownership of the money and within three months of arriving in Britain must spend £750,000 on government bonds, shares and loans to UK companies.

Gifts for the Tories

stole purses, wallets and bags belonging to staff members before leaving

Labour have no respect

A member of University staff described the thief as male and wearing a grey tracksuit top with white sleeves, a black baseball cap, dark tracksuit bottoms with Adidasstyle stripes, and trainers, and encouraged anyone with additional information to contact the police. University staff and students are advised that they must take precautions to ensure buildings they are working in are correctly secured: campus security advise checking all windows are correctly latched closed, and that all entrance doors are closed and locked when leaving buildings. Staff should also avoid leaving valuables on show whenever they are away from their desks for any period of time.

David Cameron has accused the Labour party of giving up on its own ‘respect agenda’. The agenda was designed to limit antisocial behaviours by young people.

For more information on protecting yourself against theft and crime prevention advice see: and

Eighty Conservative MPs have been reported to the Electoral commission for failing to declare donations correctly. John Mann and Kevan Jones, both Labour MPs, have sent a list of donations they wished to be probed to the political watchdog. The Conservatives claimed that it was a ‘desperate stunt’ to draw away attention from the Labour’s own funding fiasco, particularly Peter Hain’s role in £103,000 of undeclared donations. The list of 13 Conservative MPs includes David Cameron and shadow Chancellor George Osborne.

Swiss butchers have 1 raised concerns over a shortage of the Brazilian

A thief has struck twice at the Students’ Union: valuables belonging to Union staff members were stolen and a car broken into at the Union in the evening of Wednesday 9th January. The man walked in to the Union’s main building on the Union’s busiest evening of the week at about 6pm, entered the staff room, and stole purses, wallets and bags belonging to staff members. Later that evening, at around 11pm, a man matching the earlier thief's description was seen on CCTV breaking in to a car belonging to a member of Union staff in the Union's car park after attempting unsuccessfully to break in to the Union's Gun House building.

cows' intestines used to wrap the nation's favourite sausage A German burglar's 2 night took an unexpected turn when he stumbled upon a corpse. Surprisingly he stopped the break in and called the police The longest recorded 3 flight of a chicken is 13 seconds!

photo: Alex Harries

Tallie Kane Cultural and Social Affairs Correspondent

Shanti Panchal and Julie Held's exhibition, 'Regard and Ritual', which has recently held residence at the Ben Uri gallery in The London Jewish Museum of Art, was chosen as the inaugural show to celebrate the opening of the Department of Creative Technologies' CCi space in the Eldon Building. The showcase from the two artists shows aspects of community that many take for granted, such as daily family routines, which are portrayed in the bright aesthetics of their work. Their combined works emphasise the commonality between the two, as both artists originate from countries and cultures that are rich in heritage, whilst reminiscing of a lost culture that is deeply set into their depictions of family and faith. The creation of the CCi space offers creative arts and technologies

students the opportunity to exhibit their work, whilst giving a platform for artists to display their work onsite. This undoubtedly offers a wealth of artistic education for students on a level that reaches far beyond the artificiality of textbooks and the internet. UPSU President Elle Gray visited the exhibition, calling it a “striking and vibrant show”, and that it was “great to see such beautiful paintings on loan from another gallery.” Media and Publications Officer Alex Harries commented that “The exhibition was a great way to show off the University’s newest space for students, and the development of new facilities in the Creative and Cultural Industries shows the University’s commitment to making the University one of the most competitive in the country.” The exhibition runs until 8th February. For more information on the exhibtion visit:

A husky puppy got 4 his head stuck in a wall in Hampshire. His owners avoided disaster by keeping him calm until the fire brigade came to resuce him The UPSU pages 5 have again been deleted from Wikipedia because they are “irrelevant” The mayor of a small 6 American town has been charged with faking the death of his dog A protestor has 7 released over half a million rubber balls onto the streets of Rome

Housing Advice



Don’t panic!

Meddling parents

Smile like you mean it

Panicked about where you're going to live next year? Don't be! According to the University's Student Housing Department, it's far too soon to be looking for a place to live next autumn. They advise that you start to look for houses towards the end of February, and that you use their registered housing list, which is updated daily from next month and "enables [them] to monitor standards of accommodation and rent levels". That way, your safety and peace of mind are ensured, as the landlords and properties are regulated by people who know the

system. Make sure that when you do start house hunting you choose the right one - don't feel obliged to take the first house you see, or get pressured to take a place you would not be happy living in - and ensure that you pay attention to all the paperwork and fine print so you don't end up getting a bad deal. There is plenty of accommodation around, usually for groups of four or five people living together, so don't worry just yet! -LP Find out more at:

Recent research has identified five different types of meddling parents. Parents are becoming more involved in their children’s university and even career choices, with critics arguing that this is detrimental to the child's development. Being protective and wanting the best for your child is one thing, but pushing them into something they may not want, or not allowing them to spread their wings is another. It has been claimed that parents have negotiated pay rises for their children and are ever immersing themselves in every part of their lives. This includes accompanying

them to “careers fairs and doing most of the talking” says Dr Paul Redmond, Liverpool University. The five types of meddling parents identified by Redmond include the Agent, the Banker and the Bodyguard. In fact, since the problem is becoming more common, “universities are now having to produce teams of family liaison officers to deal with them”. One catalyst that has been suggested for the situation is the increase of university fees; parents want to see results. - SH Does this sound familar?

UoP scientists have discovered that smiling affects the way you speak. Participants in the study were asked to answer “I do in the summer” to every question they were asked; their interviews were videotaped, and the smiles produced categorized into four types. The audio of the interviews was then played back to test subjects, who were asked to try and identify which sort of smile was being used, based on just the tone. The results suggest that some people have “smilier” voices then others, and that people who can’t see you can tell that you’re smiling just by your voice. -LP

Pugwash News


Wednesday 23rd January 2008

Comment and Features

Your Views: the NSS In this, the comments section, we intend to outline some of the debates, arguments and conversations going on amongst you, the students. In this issue the Union’s President and a reader discuss the role of and methods used by the National Student Survey, in response to an article in our last issue.

“While I totally support our student journalists in their journalistic freedom, there are a couple of points I'd like to raise about the "Doing more harm than good?" National Student Survey article (Issue 7 09/01/08). The survey is criticised for being "impersonal" and states that Warwick and Cambridge boycott the survey. Cambridge Student Union suggested that the questions are "too simple and too broad to be useful for evaluating student experiences". From my attendance at University meetings, I know the data is not looked at on its own, and I have seen how at Portsmouth, the NSS data is combined with Unit assessment feedback and other surveys to improve courses and departments. The data is taken seriously, which was a major factor in our jump up the student satisfaction ratings last year! The data is also of huge importance to your Students’ Union as it highlights to us any issues that might need attention - like the enforcement of minimum contact hours, access to personal tutors and feedback mechanisms, the need for anonymous marking across all departments and the creation of a Charter of Student Rights. The information from the NSS not only helps the individual institution to see where it can improve, but it also helps potential students make informed decisions about which University to go to. Warwick now supports the NSS and NUS President Gemma Tumelty criticised the unwillingness of Cambridge students to participate in the survey. It only exacerbates the reputation Cambridge has of being an elitist

institution, somehow separate from others. It is valuable for students who enjoy such a reputation as that of Cambridge to be able to feed into a number of organisations that make decisions on future students experience. That said, I do empathise with people who feel harassed by the survey method. I missed the survey in my final year as I didn't use my Uni e-mail account, and did get a couple of phone calls during exams which is the last thing anyone needs.”

Deserted in Portsmouth Getting Creative Chris Burden Features Editor

Elle Gray UPSU President A third year University of Portsmouth student also has got in touch with us. Their opinion differs to Elle Gray’s and focuses more upon the way the survey itself is conducted. “Okay, Firstly, I DON'T LIKE SPAM, and by that I mean I don't mean the type that comes in a can and Americans like to eat all day long. Secondly, who gave the national student survey company my university email details. I didn't give my permission for the university to allow them to spam my email account, receiving solicited junk mail through the account is not acceptable in my opinion, it has the potential to mask important lecture material sent to me. Thirdly, I am sick to death of the university lecturers preaching to us to make us complete the form. It's a joke - of what benefit is it to me? Seemingly none. When is this going to end?” Name and Email Provided To read what sparked this debate in our previous issue visit: If you have something you think needs to be discussed or have an experience you want to share, let us know at: If something has pissed you off email us at:

photo: Tim Britton Steph Hall

The streets are empty, deserted by the students who normally reside on them. It's eerily quiet. No music blaring out from the open windows, no familiar chatter from people congregating outside their houses; nothing. This is Portsmouth without students. No hustle or bustle of young people going about their business. It's a completely different atmosphere. As a student who has recently moved here as a permanent resident, it's amazing to see the change between term time and holidays. The city is lost without the vibrant buzz of students, like an abyss. For a place which has one of the largest student populations in the UK, it's clear to see and feel the presence, or rather non-existent presence that is left when it's deserted. Personally, I hate it. It just isn't the same. No popping round to your mates' house when you're bored, or just want a

cuppa, no bumping into someone you know on campus, nada. Going out at night is like going into unknown territory. The environment is a contrast: constant fights, an increase in police patrol and certain unease about venturing somewhere on a non-student night without your usual crowd of friends. However, saying that, it gives you the opportunity to see Portsmouth in a different light. Exploring the unique shops of Southsea, finding little gems of restaurants at Old Portsmouth, or just taking time to relax and stroll along the promenade from pier to pier in the brisk sea air. It certainly makes a change from where I come from, Northampton, where there is nothing remotely interesting to explore. So for the meantime, I'm happy to call Portsmouth my home, even if I am crying out for the students to come back!

This fortnight the spotlight is on The Creative Writing Society. It is a relatively new society that has only taken off this year. The membership base is ever expanding and everyone is welcome, all you need is an enthusiasm for writing – of any kind. It covers all areas, not just poetry and prose; some members are writing plays and one is writing a pantomime. Everyone is welcome: you don’t need to be on a Creative Writing degree to join. In fact, the more variation in the group the better, because it provides more ideas. The society understands that one of the main reasons people write is to get published, so they are working on two publications. The first is Borderlines, a collaboration of the entire university’s work that mainly covers the areas of short prose, poetry and travel writing. It is also working on a Yearbook that will be exclusively for The Creative Writing Society, publishing the best work that their members have produced, plus information and pictures from the amazingly fun socials. The society is a great place to meet new people and have fun; everyone is really friendly and welcoming. Whether it’s going to plays, open-mic nights or to the pub, everybody always have a great time. The Creative Writing Society is the perfect place to get your work read and to get an informed opinion on it. You can develop valuable skills as a writer and as an editor. The meetings are a hub of inspiration; the members are always ranting and debating about something in their lives, providing both entertainment and inspiration for your next piece of work. Meetings are every Monday at 6pm in Function Room 2 at the Union, so we hope to see you there! More info:

University Alumni Profile


Ben Fogle

Tenancy Deposit Protection

Saraid Morgan

Ben, the son of famous veterinarian Bruce Fogle, attended Portsmouth in the early ‘90s. He got his degree in Latin American Studies, and went on to spend many years in Latin America working. While he was at university here, Ben took part in the Royal Naval Reserve. Throughout his life he has retained a close relationship with his university, being awarded an honorary doctorate of letters in July last year, and visiting in December for a hypothermia stress test, where his reactions were monitored and studied.

He is most famous for being on TVs Castaway in 2000, and also presenting shows such as Animal Park, Crufts, One Man and His Dog, Wild on the West Coast, Wild in Africa and Extreme Dreams. More recently, his fame has started to increase as an explorer and sportsman, with him even holding a world rowing record; the fastest time for a journey between Portsmouth and Cork. This year he hopes to set off on an expedition to the South Pole. He is widely travelled and has many diverse talents, amongst them boxing and running. He has also written three books, and regularly

contributes to various newspapers and magazines, including the Guardian. He supports numerous charities, the main ones being WWF, The Duke of Edinburgh Scheme and Hearing Dogs for Deaf People. He is the proud owner of a black Lab, Inca, who accompanies him on most of his adventures. Overall, I’m sure you will agree Ben is a former pupil to make Portsmouth proud. His many and varied achievements and his continued close relationship with the university can only continue to grow. Send features to:

Tenancy deposit protection schemes do exactly what they say on the tin; they take your deposit and ensure that any disputed charges can be appealed impartially. There are a lot of different providers out there now, and who you get wholly depends on your landlord or letting agent. The important thing to know is that there are two key types, insurance-based schemes and custodial schemes. When you sign up there are very few differences, but when you end your tenancy it is important to know what scheme you are with. Insurance schemes keep any amount that is disputed until a reso-

lution has been reached, whilst custodial schemes keep the entire deposit when there is a dispute. Therefore, an insurance scheme will allow the return of any non-disputed monies immediately, whilst a custodial scheme will not. The benefit of custodial schemes is that some interest accrued whilst the agency holds your money may be returned to you. - SJ For a guide to the pros and cons of the different schemes, visit: or contact the University Housing Department:

Pugwash News

Wednesday 23rd January 2008



An Englishman Sabb Corner Kat Ben in France King Norman Tom West

Tom West, a foreign exchange student from the University of Portsmouth, tells us all about his adventures in Toulouse, France, in his regular column. Sale n: a period when naff shops in England knock 10% off their leftover tat that nobody wants and flog it to punters who don’t need it, but buy it with money they don’t have and never really wear any of it. Solde n, french: a period when delightful boutiques in France reduce their most desired merchandise by 50% or more and offer it to discerning clientele who require fabulous apparel, then buy it with money they don’t have and wear all the time. Feeling extremely depressed about having to once again leave England and my cat behind (I had to drag myself away from him), I took myself off for a walk in the city centre one Tuesday, hoping for a little retail therapy. I was surprised to find that most of the shops were closed, with signs in their windows advertising an “exceptional closure” in order to prepare for the sales. The following day, I walked along the same streets as I’d done the day before, and it was like walking through what I think Heaven would be like! Windows filled with sumptuous displays and glittery posters were too much of a temptation - I fell off the wagon straight away. Being a recovering shopaholic, I should have known the temptation

Random cat of the week

would be great. So now I find myself with a bizarre hybrid of English shopping mentality surrounded by French boutiques. I’ve spent an inordinate amount of money I don’t have on beautiful, fabulous things I don’t need but wanted oh so much and that I’ll probably never wear outside of France. I’d also become so engrossed in the sales I’d forgotten about more important things, such as looking for somewhere to live in Granada, Spain (gargantuan mistake leaving it this late) and revising for my end of semester exams! I can’t quite believe how fast everything is happening. I remember looking out of my window in halls on my first day and thinking that the months ahead seemed like an eternity, and now I look out of the same window and wonder where it’s all gone, if I’ve used my time wisely and whether or not I’d do anything differently given my time here again. Then I think of the friends I’ve made, of the improvements I feel I’ve made with my French, of the outrageous once-in-a-lifetime things I’ve seen and done and I think that this hasn’t been the horrid experience I once thought it would be. I remember once panicking so much about coming here, I said to my Mum, “This is going to end me”. Actually, I think it’s helped to make me. It hasn’t made me entirely, but it’s certainly contributed a few pieces to the puzzle.

photo: Sandro Menzel

Elle Gray

Student Support Officer

Activities and Development Officer


New Year, new loan installment! Here are some top tips, suggested by fellow students, to help your money go further:

John Pilger, the world renowned investigative journalist, once wrote that the most important task of a journalist is to hold those in power to account. Let us make Pugwash News no exception. On 2nd February, John Denham, the Secretary of State for Innovation, Universities and Skills, will be holding an open surgery in his constituency office in Bittern, near Southampton. Denham is a key figure in the government’s plans for student fees, loans and debt. It will be Denham whose council the government will seek when the top-up fees cap is reviewed in 2009 and so it is Denham who we must hold to account. I will be taking students from Portsmouth to Bittern, to liaise with our regional counterparts and present Denham with petitions showing that there is a strong and active resistance to spiraling debt and ever increasing fees. This is your opportunity to make your voice heard to those who are sentencing you to increased fees, and increased debt. Do not squander this opportunity, seize the day and ensure that those who wish to shackle us with debt are held to account for their actions.

Happy New Year everyone! I hope your exams are going well and you're not too swamped with coursework. If you need a break, the Union has a cracking line up of taster sessions from Tai-Chi to tea-tasting, starting from the Re-Freshers Fayre on 13th February, so you can try some funky new things in the new term. We're also working hard on the Fees Campaign, One World Week and getting recycling bins across campus - and if you were ever wondering why we do the things we do, it’s because you tell us to! If you have an issue that you want us to work on come and tell us at the Union Council, or check out the Union Council pages on Also, Sabbatical Elections are coming up soon so if you think you can represent 20,000 students then stand up!

* Prioritise; set money aside or pay for essentials first (e.g. accommodation, food, club memberships, compulsory course trips, travel home). * Pay with cash; it is easier to stick to a budget and you can literally see how much you are spending on a weekly basis. * At the supermarket, check out the ‘reduced items’ shelf to see if there are any items that you could use. Be careful not to be tempted buy things that you may not use or do not need. * It is worth asking in shops if they offer a student discount – if you don’t ask you don’t get! * Buy ‘own brand’ products which are invariably cheaper. * Try and buy second hand course books from second and final year students on your course. The Student Finance Centre can help you to develop your money know how, and to plan and use a budget so that you can make the most of your student support. We can also offer more useful hints and tips to help ensure you can live happily on a student budget. We provide a wide range of services, including self help leaflets to guide and support you through your time at university. The Student Finance Centre administers various support funds, non-repayable grants, short and long term loans and bursaries.

For further information either pop in to see us at the Student Union on Thursdays between 12pm and 1pm, visit us at the Nuffield Centre or go to: email: Tel: 02392 843014

If you’d like to come, transportation will be arranged, please contact me to put your name down. Alternatively if you’d like to write to Mr Denham personally then his address is: John Denham, Secretary of State for the Department of Innovation, Universities and Skills, DIUS, 1 Victoria Street, London, SW1H 0ET

photo: Cyprien Lomas


Free software threatens Microsoft Luke Simmonds

The success of the Apache Web server, which is used on 70% of Web Servers, underscores the growing influence of the open source movement in software development. This has wide ranging implications for traditional software companies such as Microsoft, which may worry that users will abandon their more expensive commercial products and switch to free or inexpensive open-source alternatives. The basis behind open source software is that the source code is freely available and anyone can improve upon it. Many of you may

have never heard of this term but most of you would recognise some of the software that is open source. Mozilla Firefox is a free open source web browser that is rapidly taking more and more market share away from the technologically inferior Internet Explorer. There are open source alternatives to most Microsoft products, with offering a great free office package which is compatible with all office formats and is a great money saver for students, as Microsoft Office can cost hundreds of pounds. Switching to open source not only saves students money but much of the software is actually bet-

ter. For example, Firefox is a more secure web browser and reduces the risk of spyware. Linux is open source’s answer to Windows. Linux itself is just a code base and distributions are built upon it, Ubuntu and Redhat being the most widely used operating system. Redhat Linux runs more of the world’s web servers than anything else. This is due to its stability and the fact that it is free. It is only now with faster internet connections that Linux is really spreading, as disk images can be downloaded and burnt to a CD in less than an hour. This dominance is moving into the desktops and laptops and students

could really benefit. Microsoft Windows is very expensive, whereas Ubuntu is free and is perfect for older laptops that are simply not powerful enough to run the newer versions of Windows. Open source software is a real money saver for students rather than relying on pirate software or paying high license fees. It could possibly be the way forward. The recent One Laptop Per Child Project uses Linux to provide computers to the third world so they can join the information age, for the cost of just $100 (£50). More info:

design: Tom Worman

Pugwash News

Wednesday 23rd January 2008



How do you solve a problem like Lolita? Tallie Kane

It’s one of the books that constantly seems to creep out of the woodwork, and is often the instigator of a debate that either ends in reluctant agreement or just never ends. I personally love Lolita, but I can understand why it sparked debate on the boundaries of censorship on its release in 1955. The tragicomedy by Vladimir Nabokov, describes the relationship between a middle aged college professor Humbert Humbert and the twelve-year-old girl under his care, Lolita. The novel describes scenes of statutory rape, as romanticised by the protagonist, which caused severe disturbance in the hearts of the public and critics alike. The opinions varied, from the call for its withdrawal from shelves by the (London) Sunday Times - which called it "the filthiest book [they had] ever read" - to those who completely excused the author. The author Robertson Davies argued that Lolita was “not the corruption of an innocent child by a cunning adult, but the exploitation of a weak adult by a corrupt child”, focusing on the manipulative behaviour seen in the young character, rather than the sexual obsession of Humbert. The book undoubtedly draws the argument of where the line between literature and pornography should be placed. I believe that it is the role of the reader that defines this, and their expectations before engaging in the material. What makes Lolita a literary rather than a pornographic work, is that it makes the reader feel uneasy and disturbed, even intrigued of the way that they receive the book. That they are forced to reconsider previously held opinions about this underdog of society, and may even feel disgusted

with themselves that they might just sympathise with the protagonist, when you feel that you rationally shouldn’t. That was 50 years ago; surely our nation wouldn’t react on the publication of books that deal with issues that are equally as uncomfortable? Do we take them seriously, or pass it off as an authors’ attempt to cause sensationalism for the sake of it? Should we award those who “push the literary boat out"? Our approach to books that deal with sex in a less than savoury way is to laugh at them like immature schoolchildren who have just discovered the sexual reproduction system. While the French celebrate the art of written intercourse, we come off as humoured prudes. The Bad Sex Award is how we receive work which has less than conventional descriptions of sex: the winner of this years’ award, Norman Mailer, compared the male genitalia to ‘a coil of excrement’ in his novel exploring the life of Adolf Hitler through the eyes of its Secret Service narrator. Although his description of a sex act is undoubtedly a grotesque one, does this subsequently mean

that the credibility of the writing should be ignored, or is it a stunt for media attention? In France, they award creators "going beyond all forms of censure and who [defy] the moral or political order against all forms of intellectual terrorism," with the Prix Sade, a peer-reviewed prize that looks at literature which is nothing less than controversial. The recent winner, Dennis Cooper - nicknamed ‘The most dangerous writer in America’ - won this year’s award with his novel The Sluts which describes, in detail, homosexual sex scenes, violence, teenage sex and drug taking. Other entrants include the French author Alain RobbeGrillet, whose book Un Roman Sentimental details a father’s grooming of his daughter, has to be sold shrink-wrapped with a warning of the sensitive content printed boldly across the front cover. Are they going too far? Are they trying to recreate the sensation of Lolita in the vain hope that their work may be remembered and be named a classic? Or are they just writing what needs to be written? Could there ever be another Lolita?

Pulling with a girlfriend Nicholas Prangnell

“Come on, what’s your name?” “Please come out with us.” “Give me a kiss, you’re gorgeous!” There are five pretty girls begging m e to leave the bar I’m working behind and join them on their night out. I’ve just been chatting with them, not letting them have any free drinks, not being a mug. They’re all genuine, not just trying to seduce me into a discount. After working in bars for years, I can tell when it’s for real. They’ve slowly built up to this crescendo of begging, not just wandering over to tease me. It seems I have pulled. I may have smoothly commanded their attention but now I’m in trouble. I keep telling them no, they each buy me a shot. I accept, but not before telling them that I still can’t join them as I have a girlfriend. I resist getting their numbers “just in

case”. I’m amazed that these girls are actually hitting on me, this is a once in a lifetime experience, and I promptly text my girlfriend to wind her up about it. Well, after that she should appreciate me! To be honest, I’m so glad my friends were sat at a table nearby because they never would have believed me. Every time I think about it I walk a little taller. I joke with friends that it’s easier to pull when you have a girlfriend. But what if I had closed the bar early and took them out for a night on the town? Would it have actually gone to plan? I think not. Whilst I can remember many times I’ve turned girls down when I’m attached, I can’t recall as many hitting on me when I was single. Why is that? The knowledge that somebody is keen on you makes you more confident and therefore more attractive. Also, the fact you’re not on the pull makes you less edgy and threatening and more friendly and

talkative. But is it just in your imagination that girls are hitting on you? When the girl dancing with you is performing some risqué moves, are you sure they fancy you? If you walk away and don’t lean in for a kiss then you’ll never really know, but you can be safe in the knowledge that in your mind you really are a budding Casanova. When this happens when I am single, they always seem to slap me if I suggest a more intimate venue for this dance, no matter how charming I am. One good thing about having a girlfriend, though, is that it gives you the excuse to walk away from those situations before they turn sour. I have never cheated on a girl and never will. Your girlfriend isn’t the only thing you could miss out on – I wouldn’t want to miss out on the memories of pulling and saying no. Sorry ladies, but that’s Gods real gift to men.

Missing Persons Words: Tiffany Lee Photography: Tom Worman

Coming back to uni after a long, overindulgent Christmas break is a strange experience. When you’re at home your second ‘student life’ is put on pause as you become reacquainted with all your old friends and family. Remember how great it is to be mothered and allow yourself to forget about that lingering deadline? Personally, I become spellbound by this old, easy lifestyle, and groan at the thought of getting on a train and returning to that moulding stack of washing up and busy routine. Although, and I’m sure you will agree, as soon as you put your feet to the Pompey pavement, the tables turn and your weeks of festivities at home become a distant memory. Because, despite the masses of essays and exams that put black spots on your week, the sense of community here offers a unique kind of comfort. Although roast dinners are replaced with ready meals and sherry with a bizarre brand of Lidl wine, here we have constructed for ourselves our very own safety net. Housemates and those random acquaintances you don’t really know how you know but couldn’t live without, are a fantastic chocolate box selection of personalities that interlock to create a peculiar, yet lovable, family unit. So what happens if one of those familiar faces is missing in action? We all like to think our friendships are impenetrable. But sadly, there is one major threat to our foreign Pompey families that are to make for an uncomfortable household and those my friends, are called relationships. And it happens to everyone. In fact, I’d be willing to bet my bottle of Lidl wine that is presently chilling in the fridge, that the majority of Pugwash readers all have one of ‘those’ friends. You know the type: a great laugh to go out with, always available for that cheeky pint after lectures, but com-

pletely disappears off the face of the earth once a partner comes into the picture. Suddenly you are faced with a series of let down texts from this so-called friend, apologising for not being able to make arrangements planned a hundred years in advance. I say all this with crossed fingers, hoping that those from my own Pompey family won’t read this and think I am a shameless hypocrite. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now and have never found myself struggling to manage my relationship with my friends simultaneously. Therefore I like to think I have discovered the trick of the game (well the Spice Girls originally coined the theory but let’s put it into more legible, less orgy sounding English); the secret is to find a partner willing to be part of your friendship group, rather than pull you away from it…“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” To make this difficult situation work, you need to integrate your new partner amongst your friends, preferably over a round of shots that will encourage your friends to forget their fierce hatred and give the poor soul a chance. In fact, I was delighted to see, on his previous visit to this little bubble we call Portsmouth, my boyfriend and my lovable male housemate playing endless games of Fifa as I watched on from the kitchen (forgive me feminists). But let’s take a step back for a moment and consider if that friend is truly, blissfully happy in this new relationship. Surely it is pure selfishness on our front that we are upset by their sudden disappearance? Perhaps what we are actually angry about is that the friend is no longer catering for our own needs, being a thread in our carefully crafted homeaway-from-home safety net. Or perhaps they just need a slap.

Want to write about Sex and Relationships for the newspaper? Contact:

Pugwash News


Wednesday 23rd January 2008

Reviews .. in association with

Hundred Reasons photo: Tim Dubber

Singles ‘Still Figuring Out’ Elliot Minor Rating: Zero Ed Butterfield

Elliot Minor have done something that no other band has ever done before in the history of Pugwash they have forced us to rethink our entire rating system. You see, up until now the lowest any record could score was one star. This however, a bastardised hybrid of pop and metal, with a thick spreading of twee, mingling nauseatingly with ‘rocking’ guitars and totally unnecessary classical orchestrations, deserves less that than that. With an intro that could have been plucked directly from a Disney soundtrack, it judders into some awful pop-punk riff, all garnished with lyrics that must have taken all of four minutes to write. Cheesy isn’t the word - this goes beyond that. This is pop in denial; a new strain of the same virus that spawned Avril Lavigne.

‘Ghosts’ Laura Marling Rating: Martin Saxton

One of the up and coming artists that really stood out for me at last year's Glastonbury Festival, Laura Marling is a gifted singer-songwriter who possesses a subtle and soothing voice that you just can't help falling for. Offering its offbeat musings throughout, Ghosts is a simple yet mesmerising song, rekindling memories of broken hearts left by past lovers which showcases the 18 year old from Reading's unique style, whilst brilliantly complimented throughout by her band. Having

already toured with The Maccabees and with her debut album Alas I Cannot Swim in the offing in February, Marling is definitely one to keep an eye on this year, especially if her album has more gems like this one.

‘Superstar’ Lupe Fiasco Rating: Yusuf Bhunnoo

A melancholic tale of the languid insecurities that tackle every-day celebrities, Superstar sees Lupe gliding over a melodic piano loop, poignantly reflecting on the joys of fame, whilst precociously commenting on the loneliness and rigors that come with it: “So just take me home where the mood is mellow… and the light bulbs around my mirror don't flicker”. Lupe’s subtly weaved lyrics and stutter-y flow, coupled expertly with a haunting chorus from Matthew ‘don’t say I sound like Adam Levine’ Santos, makes Superstar a welcome return for this hip-hop visionary; one of the artists tasked with restoring the intellect and integrity back into a world of hip-hop that has been plagued with the retarded ramblings of Soulja Boy and the gangster gaudiness of 50 Cent.

Movie Charlie Wilson’s War Rating: Liz Barlow

Live Gig Hundred Reasons Southampton University Rating: Tim Dubber

Hundred Reasons are an amazing band. I knew they were good before, but this gig decided it for me. This may be because their sound was a welcome relief after two hours of

Based on a true story, and an adaptation of the novel by George Criley, Charlie Wilson’s War sees Tom Hanks play a Southern congressman who instigates the most expensive and dangerous ‘covert’ operation in American history – supplying Afghanistan with weapons to defend against the invading Soviets. It’s not hard to predict the direction of the plot. This film is far more political than it would have you believe in its trailers. However its messages are powerful and subtly draw on Michael Moore’s previous claims about the American govern-

ment. Hanks’ character Charlie Wilson is unlikable from the start; however through his process of helping the vulnerable Afghans, we start to see a different side to him. His ‘side-kick’ Gust (a government agent), played by Oscar-winning Phillip Seymour Hoffman, helpfully brings in the laughs with his blunt wit and funny one-liners. This film is one worth sticking with even if the beginning doesn’t grab you, though the political jargon might lose you. This really is a ‘thinking’ movie, entertainingly re-iterating what most of us already know about the ‘War on Terror’, with an engaging script and some moving performances.

Theatre Portsmouth University TSC presents… Blue Remembered Hills Rating: Tiffany Lee

Who knew that on a quiet Thursday night in the sleepy city of Portsmouth, a little snippet of the 1940’s existed in the Wiltshire drama studio? This performance of the youthful, fast paced wartime tale was thriving with immaturity and excitement, and who better to deliver this experience to an audience than a handful Portsmouth’s very own students. Battling against the intimidating arena that is the drama studio, where the actors suffer close proximity to their anticipant audience, this young and enthusiastic amateur cast dominated the stage from the very first fast and frivolous scene to the unexpected tragedy that abruptly ended it. The quick witted dialogue was delivered to precision by the interesting variety of characters onstage, all of which asserting the importance of their individual contribution to the comedy. The directing took full advantage of the modest stage; having the actors run around and between the tiered seating really encouraged the audience to feel as though they were part of the action and took us all back to the primary school playground. Although the set was basic it was extremely effective in allowing the acting talent to truly radiate onstage and the audience’s imagination run wild. The West Country accents were at times incomprehensible. However, coming from Bristol myself it was the incomprehensibility that made them fantastically precise. I strongly recommend giving future Show Committee performances a go, if not for the enjoyment of live theatre then perhaps to catch a glimpse of Pugwash’s very own Features editor charging around like an aeroplane in a pair of braces!

Want to write a review of the latest singles, albums, shows, movies or even blag yourself a photopass to a gig? Then e-mail us at:

photo: Tom Worman

‘screamo’, or it may be because they put on an incredible set consisting of both old and new material. Before I go into detail about Hundred Reasons however, let’s rewind. Having had the 'excitement' of arriving in a city to which neither of us reviewers had ever been to properly before, let alone to the university, we walked into the gig at about 8pm, just in time to catch a generic screamo band. I can't remember the name, something about red and blood. They were acceptable (as in, they didn't quite give me a headache) but sounded exactly the same as every other screamo band I've ever heard. The infrequent melodic sections sounded straight out of an old Alexisonfire album. They were fine, but the fact that I couldn't remember their name probably says it all. The next group, From Autumn to Ashes, impressed for three songs. Sure, they were yet another screamo band, but they were tight and obviously accomplished performers. After three songs however, the (slight) novelty instantly wore off. It was a case of 'not another forty-five minutes of this'. They played quite a lengthy set, but for all I knew they were playing the same song over and over again. I would like to comment on how profound and thoughtful the lyrics were but unfortunately they were utterly illegible so I can't. At least though, they had hordes (well, perhaps 15 or 20) of dedicated fans who were frantically singing back every word, presumably having rehearsed them beforehand. So I'm sorry guys, you were fine, but it might be time to start evolving your sound. Then, like saviours, Hundred Reasons came on. Out went the fiddly, fancy guitars and keyboards and the skinny jeans and checkerboard Vans. In came pure unadulterated rock. It was everything rock should be but so often isn't. Melodic, harmonious and heavy, but not excessive. Despite the fact that the last train home prevented us from hearing the entire set, I can honestly say that Hundred Reasons have restored my faith in the current rock scene.

Pure FM Show of the Week

What: The Phillout Who: Phil Harvey When: Sundays 6-7pm Description: A chillout show which has no gimmcks, just great tunes, taking in hip hop, trip hop, funk, soul, jazz, reggae, dub, dubstep, dance, rock, shoegaze, folk, acoustic and anything else you can think of to bring you gently back down to earth after the weekend. All this great music will be 'interrupted' by a short live DJ mix about half way through. For Fans Of: Bloc Party, The Dandy Warhols, Air, Colourbox, Tom Vek and more...

Every week we’ll be showing a chart of the Top 5 artists that the members of our group have been listening to, if you want your music scrobbled, log in and add the Pugwash chart

Go to

Pugwash Top 5 1

Bloc Party




Foo Fighters


Artic Monkeys


The Arcade Fire


Purple Wednesdays Wednesday 23rd January 2008

Sports Features

photos: Tom Worman

What exactly is Polo?

Kim Croutear

So much more than Ralph Lauren and the mint with the hole. If I had a pound for every time someone had asked me over the last few years "what exactly is polo then?" I think the Snakey B would be on me this Wednesday to say the least! So, I thought that in the third year of the club's existence, it's probably about time that everyone got to know a bit more about what this 'glorified hockey on horses' thing is actually all about, and exactly what we've all been getting up to! So for all you complete polo virgins, let me just fill you in on what it's all about. Well, the long and the short of it is, it's all about the parties (any of you who may have read Jilly Cooper will have got the gist)! However, the added bonus is that the playing part is pretty awesome as well! It's not called 'the galloping game' for nothing; polo is fast and furious. There are four players on each team, playing on a pitch the size of ten football pitches, and yes, sometimes bigger just is better! Obviously the idea is to score goals. In order to defend though, it is perfectly legal to hit people's sticks out of the way, intercept balls, and, a personal favourite of mine, riding off, aka galloping at the opponent and barging them off the ball! I won't bore you with the rules, but I think you get the idea! As long as it's not 'dangerous', then pretty much anything goes! Interpretations of 'dangerous' are of course all relative! I mean, galloping about with a tonne or so of unpredictable horse between your legs, waving wooden sticks around your head does make a lot of sports look about as risky as

knitting! So for all of you who thought that riding is just for 'girls', think again! We're not talking dressage here, polo is one of the best fixes out there for all you adrenaline junkies. And while I'm on the subject of dispelling myths, I think it's probably a good time to add that, despite the stereotype, it's not actually in the rules that you have to be royalty, or at least aristocracy, in order to play! Admittedly, polo probably won't be the cheapest sport you've ever played in your life, but with the backing of the Union, sponsorship, and massive savings available to students, your time at Uni is when polo will be most affordable. This probably seems a little ironic if you're living on beans and shopping at Primark, but now is definitely the best time to get involved!

It's not called 'the galloping game' for nothing; polo is fast and furious

Which is where we come in; the polo club will be organising the opportunity for anyone to come along and have a 'taster session', no commitment or experience required. You don't even have to have ridden before, it's just a good chance to knock one more thing off your 'things to do before I'm thirty list' (and if playing polo's not on that list then it should be!) In the wise words of Mr Oliver, 'try something new today'. Join our group on Facebook and we will keep you posted with further details. However, if donning dirty boots and galloping about like a nutter

sounds like your idea of hell on earth, there is still plenty of reason to get involved; you will just probably feel a little more at home off the pitch, on the social side of polo. Sipping Pimms and slowly crisping yourself in the midday sun, rubbing shoulders with royalty and celebs and replacing the divots dressed up to the nines at Cowdray is what summers should be all about! We will hopefully be making a trip as well as playing for the Jack Wills Varsity Cup and The Prince of Wales Cup this Summer. The more the merrier! Details again will be on our Facebook page nearer the time. Our teams have had an amazing start to the season this year. We've been training hard as always up at Maywood Polo Centre every Wednesday, and we've obviously been doing something right, as both Portsmouth teams were triumphant in the first tournament this year; a 'friendly' with Southampton and Winchester. So the champagne and trophies all bodes well for 2008, and our main campaign; the National Universities Arena Polo Championships. We will all be heading off to Bristol on 7th February for a weekend of partying and polo! The competition will be fierce, including renowned Uni teams such as Oxford, Cambridge, Bristol and Exeter, but we will be fighting hard. So... polo, king of sports, or just the sport of kings? In the spirit of all things new at this time of year, why don't you try something different, and find out for yourself. Sit your arse on some class, and come and play a chukka!

For more on Polo

Sporto Challenge Every fortnight we pit two of our sportos against each other in a fast paced Q&A session to see who’s cooler. Oh, and they have to draw a donkey too... Decide for yourself.

League Table Top 5 Sportos


Marisa May


Peppa Barnett


Andrew Machin


Kate Hyder


Simon Leach


Kate Hyder

Peppa Jane Barnett


Horse Riding

Have you ever .... Drank/spent more than £100 on alcohol for yourself in one day? No! If I did I’d be taken home in an ambulance! Slept in your own sick? Haha, first night back after the summer hols... Slept outside? When we couldn’t work out how to put our tent up at a horse show. Attempted “straight-arm” drinking? Snakebite in your eyes isn’t fun... Played touch cup? Of course!

Have you ever .... Drank /spent more than £100 on alcohol for yourself in one day? No! I'm way too drunk before I've spent £10! Slept in your own sick? No, but very nearly in my first year on tour. Slept outside? Yes. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Attempted “straight-arm” drinking? No. Played touch cup? Yes. I'm not very good at it, so I stay away. Been naked in public? Yes but only for the naked calendar ;)

Been naked in public? Many times, best being at a service station on tour, went to put my clothes back on behind the bus and all the drivers were standing there! Been asked to leave the Union? No, with friends like Marisa and Kerry the bouncers are spending too much time keeping an eye on them to notice what you’re doing! Missed a lecture to play sports/to do soco stuff? Many times. Participated in “The Ramp”? How old do you think I am? Downed a jug of Snakey B? Never sucessfully without stopping to be sick. Gone in the sea after Tantrum/Time? No, it was only open for half of my first year! Started drinking before noon? Way too often this year! Is Snake Bite your choice of drink at the Union? Of course. How many societies/clubs have you represented at uni? (1 point for each club) Cheerleading and Gym & Tramp Now draw us a donkey ....

Score: 15

Been asked to leave the Union? Yes, and everytime has been because of Marisa haha! Missed a lecture to play sports / to do soco stuff? Yes on numerous occasions. Not that I go to lectures anyway! Participated in “The Ramp”? Yes. Downed a jug of Snakey B? No, never tried. Gone in the sea after Tantrum/Time? Yes, but I only went in ankle deep. Started drinking before noon? Yes quite a few times. One cheerleader on tour started drinking Absynth at 7am! Is Snake Bite your choice of drink at the Union? No. How many societies / clubs have you represented at uni? (1 point for each club) Horse Riding, Cheerleading, Mixed Rounder's, Dance and I played Badminton once! Now draw us a donkey ....

Score: 18

Purple Wednesdays Wednesday 23rd January 2008


Sports features and results

The rise of the Portsmouth Phoenix! Words: Marisa May Design: Gamel Oki

It was chosen by a landslide vote, the united brand for Portsmouth University Athletic Union (AU) – The Portsmouth Phoenix. Three choices were presented at our Union Council; The Sharks, The Phoenix and The Pride. Branding was voted in at the beginning of the year on President’s Day. The reason for introducing it is to enhance the profile of the AU: it will help us be recognised as one team. There are so many hoodies and social kits around that it can make it confusing to know who is part of what team. With the branding launch everyone will be united by the same kit and it will be easier to see who is part of the sporting community. Branding will hopefully bring more

involvement to an already substantial group. If our governors see how important sport is to the university it may lead to more recognition and the possibility of more funding. It will also help protect Wednesday afternoons if people see how many students are involved in the AU. Sport is a very important part of many students’ university life. It creates friendships, helps keep morale up and keeps us fit. Seeing how many people are involved in the AU will create a force to be reckoned with. We will be more intimidating to our opponents. It will create a sense of unity between the sports teams and transform the way sport is perceived. Individual kit will not be lost. Teams will still have their individualism within the brand. The branding will also help bring down the price of kit as we are hoping to

organise a sole supplier for all university kit and equipment. A team of students from the AU have volunteered to help with the finer details. They will be choosing the logo and the way the kit is set up. There is great hope that this brand will bring sports teams together and create a stronger AU. More info:

Design not confirmed

Snow-way Dude! The UPSU Ski and Snowboard Club hit the slopes in Val Thorens On the last day of term in December the Ski and Snowboard club left the Union for their annual trip to the French Alps. This year was the largest trip for the club, with 240 of us this year, mixed with 5,000 British students that had also descended on Val Thorens, part of the largest ski area in Europe, for BoarderWeek, a hectic week of ski and “après-ski” activities. The preceding weeks had seen the best snowfall in November and December for more than ten years, and more snow than the whole of last winter! This meant that all of the slopes and lifts were open across six resorts, which gave us a massive 600 kilometres of riding in conditions more typical of February. A few days into the trip a group of us decided to go to Courchevel, the furthest resort away, and as a board-

er I even enjoyed going out with some skiers as the snow was absolute bliss for a free-rider like me, getting up loads of speed down the mountains. There was also plenty of powder if you knew where to look, which made for some awesome riding, but I need to get a bit better at choosing my off-piste routes as climbing out of waist-deep snow when it gets flat is pretty much impossible! The club’s social secretaries arranged some great nights out, the resort being one of the best for students because we could go to a different bar every night. The themes were diverse and started with a black-tie fondue meal up the mountain, followed by an unstable ski or board down in tuxedos and ball gowns (after plenty of red wine). We moved onto the Disney Fetish Night, which ruined many childhood memories, followed by a Rubik’s


Pucking around

Home Games

Ben Pearson

23rd January 2008

The Roller Hockey Club’s had a hell of a year so far, with training, matches and socials on target. Our biggest successes have been on the rink, where the club has already overtaken its stats from last season. With no wins and just one draw last season, UoP Roller Hockey suffered serious growing pains during a rebuilding year but this season we have returned to form with wins over Reading Uni and the National Champions, Southampton! Led by reformed coaching, scoring, defence, and goaltending, the club has the potential for ‘Most Improved

Pete Williams

Badminton Women’s 1 v Imperial Medics // Basketball Men’s 1 v Roehampton Uni // Fencing Women v City University // Football Men’s 1 v Kingston // Football Men 3 v Chichester Uni 2nd // Football Men’s 5 v Chichester Uni // Football ‘Womens 1 v Royal Holloway // Football Women’s 2 v Imperial // Hockey Women’s 3 v Royal Holloway // Rugby Men’s 2 v St George’s 1 // Rugby Men’s 3 v Reading Uni

Cube themed night, where everyone goes out dressed in different colours and has to end up with the same by swapping clothes with people they meet (after getting to know them, of course!). The next night gave everyone the freedom to choose their own fancy dress; some were really well thought out but others, like me, resorted to the last-minute bin bag and sticky tape solution. On the last night the committee handed out goodie bags to everyone’s room for a surprise rave theme, with glow sticks, bands and paint complementing a great night out clubbing! The trip was a great success for the club and I think everyone had a great time. But this is not the end for the Ski and Snowboard Club this year - check out our website in the coming weeks for information about upcoming trips and socials! For more info visit:

Club 2007/2008’, as we’re thinking about nothing other than becoming National Champions. Our B Team has been reshaped too, with beginners and experienced guys & girls filling it out, all following the lead of Iain Ballantine and Dave Hawkins. Socials thus far have included Hula Girls, Pimps & Hos, and sponsoring a local professional ice hockey match. This side of the club continues to be the most significant aspect of UoP Roller Hockey as it cements our members into more than just teammates, but best mates. More info online at:

photos: Kelly, Gamel, Sally, Gaetan & Sophie

Purple Wednesdays Wednesday 23rd January 2008


Sports news and features

On the Spot

Who are you? Marty Mckinlay Nicknames: Butters, Boyband, Mcfly Age: 21 Club / Society: Squash Home Town: Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset. First Portsmouth Curry? The Gate, mandatory! Favourite Movie? Batman What puts a smile on your face? Winning after being 2-0 down! What wipes it off? Losing the tin challenge and doing 18 shots. Most embarassing moment? Being mugged by a girl after swimming in the sea outside Bar Blu. Favourite pick up line? Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes. Favourite uni memory? Scoring the winning goal against Badminton in the Football tournement! How quickly can you down a pint? Give me a cider and I'll show you how we do it in the West Country! Favourite dress up theme? Goth sailors. Tell us a joke: What's slimy, cold, long and smells like pork? Kermit the Frog's finger. Tip of the week: Don't ever trust a man with a moustache (Kosta?)

Players of Teams of the Fresher’s Point of View the Fortnight Fortnight

Pompey Men’s Lacrosse shoot down Hawks

Roller Hockey Club

Peppa Barnett Sports Sub-Editor

Lizzie Fitzwater Gymnastics and Trampolining

Ben Endley Lacrosse Club President

Jo Boot

The Equestrian B Team

After being unavailable for the first few games of the season, Jo returned to the line-up with his usual style this past weekend. As the resident hotshot at the club, mainly due to his national call-up to the GB University Ice Hockey team last year, Jo has established himself as a consistent scorer on the rink. He is also one of the most popular players with his teammates, which helped Jo scored eight goals this past weekend, with a hat trick against Reading and five versus Southampton.

The B Team won last Wednesday against Southampton University at their home competition. Peppa, Natasha and Hannah all won on their three horses against the other two universities. It ended up with an individual win for Peppa, 3rd for Hannah and 6th for Natasha. Well done to the girls for all trying really hard, Sarah for standing in as the reserve last minute and all the people who have helped us throughout the competitions. A special mention has to go to McDonald’s for supplying the breakfasts and Tom “the camera man” Worman. Well done girlies!

First week at Uni, I was standing in the middle of a big tent not having a clue where to start, being attacked by people trying to persuade you that their club/society is the one you want to join, when really I was only looking for one club in particular, gymnastics and trampolining. So, after signing up all I had to do was wait for training to start. Unfortunately the first session was cancelled due to lack of a coach. The following Wednesday came along and I nervously walked into the Union, dressed as a ‘Where’s Wally’, not knowing anyone I was meeting, and just hoping to see people also in red and white stripes. After finding the Wallys, I sat down to endure my first ‘Touchcup’ experience. Being a Fresher and not knowing the rules of the game ensured that I was sufficiently bullied, and every cup that needed drinking seemed to find its way to me. It didn’t take me long to realise what a friendly (and drunk) group of people I was with. It was a great night, well what I remember of it, and it gave me an opportunity to meet so many new people and maybe do some sport too!

The men were forced to undertake their longest away trip of the season on Saturday without a number of their key players. Top scorer Stefan Dewer was among those unavailable for selection, as he was on a skiing holiday - despite protestations that it was for his course, everyone knew what was really going on. The visit to deepest, darkest Wales required an early start, so at 7:30ish an almost smartly dressed rabble arrived and loaded up. The journey to the valleys was a fairly uneventful one; this was not a precursor to the game that was to follow. Pompey made a storming start, and found themselves four goals up at the close of the first quarter. However, it is not for nothing that Swansea find themselves second in the league (behind us of course); their players began to rally and although Portsmouth initially absorbed the pressure well, before long individual errors began to creep into the defence. Swansea increased the intensity of their game following the half time break, however so did the boys from the south coast. As the game proceeded it became clearer that Portsmouth were not going to give up their lead without a fight, even when they were only one goal ahead. However committed play from the whole team, combined with some fantastic stops from keeper Oli Bailey, ensured that the Hawks would not inflict Pompey’s first defeat of the season. To cap it off, two pieces of individual brilliance and outrageous flair from Liam O’Mahoney saw him first score with a shot behind his back that gave the keeper no chance. He followed this up almost immediately with a behind the back pass to set up a goal for Wez Morris. The game ended 10 - 7 to Pompey and the team certainly deserved to win this ‘six pointer’ for the League title.

Ben Pearson With the club's coach not attending training or games this week, Ben resumed coaching duties for the club as well as continuing his Presidential role and performing well on the rink. Ben scored a hat trick against Reading in a nine to six victory as well as four goals versus Southampton, three of which were on the Powerplay.

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Roller Hockey Club This past weekend saw the Roller Hockey team beat local rivals and reigning University Champions Southampton, as well as defeating previous University Champions, Reading. Both victories were hard fought but Portsmouth beat Reading nine to six and defeated Southampton eleven to seven. These two results see Portsmouth leapfrog above both Reading and Southampton in the league tables.

photo by: Tom Worman

Seperated at birth


Lonely Blondes?

It’s all a bit of fun

Blonde fringe, check. Engaging stare, check. Cheesy grin, check; maybe Macaulay Culkin wouldn’t have been as lonely in his childhood, if only his parents had left him Home Alone with his long lost twin, sporto Nicholas O’Hara.

Which fake baked wrestler has got a burning desire? Sleazy isn't man enough to get waxed, so has resorted to Immac. Gym and Tramp vice president likes making home videos. Squash Andre is so fresh even the printers couldn't spell his name. Football social sec hit a man on a bike with a taxi door and is now being charged by the taxi driver for damages. Steve Powell made a Netball fresher cry playing kangaroo court. Lenny-Lenny has been improving inter club relations with Netball! Hockey fresher Bambi doesn't know if polar bears are poisonous! Naked Thursdays on 18 Byker Grove! A certain cricket 3rd got benched, literally. Rugby president allegedly likes to secretly film his housemates in the shower. Riding vice president has trouble controlling the beast that she likes to straddle. AU chair thinks about making her self sick to pass the time. Richard Hayward got drunk under the table by a 1st Chester player. Tom “the camera man” Worman has been getting around the sports teams.

Left: Nicholas O’Hara - Right: Macaulay Culkin

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Issue 8 Wednesday 23.01.08

Riding Club success for Equestrian B Team Peppa Barnett

Before Christmas the Riding Club ‘B’ team had been busy with their first competition at home. There were a few late nights, and last minute finishing touches to be made down at the yard: the dressage arena to be organised, tack to be cleaned and sandwiches to be made! With Ami worse for wear due to a previous fall, extra help came in from nonriding club members, Beth, Andy and Darby, who are now experts at measuring out dressage arenas! On the day, Tom “the camera man” Worman, Marisa and Kate (Fresh) were all treated to a Maccy D’s as it was the only way I could convince them to get up at 7am! The competition was as hectic as expected. The sand school was frozen, so it proved difficult laying the poles into a straight line and the dressage arena had to be reset. Everyone was helping get the horses ready with Tom and Leah busy taking pictures. Darby fell in love with Charlie (the horse) and Kate was a superstar plaiting up the horses. (Although Marisa and Kate were not dressed for the occasion!) The dressage was held all morning; everybody was freezing by this point and a few were fighting over the heater in the canteen, which mysteriously got broken... Lunch was served and that meant we moved onto the jumping phase. Dan Gilderson and Darby were in charge of putting the jumps up if anyone knocked them down ... this proved challenging. Especially when I knocked the first fence down! Portsmouth’s jumping score wasn’t

looking good, and sadly Sophie fell off after the first fence. Like a true sportswoman she got straight up and back on the horse, for which she gained a huge cheer from the crowd! Portsmouth finished the day with a respective second, to Southampton. Our second competition was in Plymouth, which meant a 4.30am start! Penny and Elaina ‘Shelia’ Sperring came along as cheerleaders / photographers for the day. Again another freezing cold day with a Maccy D start and four hours later we are in Plymouth! The competition went well, everyone had fun, with lots of laughing had by all as I nearly fell off my horse ... it didn’t like lorries – (you can find the video on Facebook!) Everyone in the B Team jumped clear, I won the dressage on my horse but we ended up 3rd overall. Southampton was our final competition of the league. We all met at Maccy D’s for our standard breakfast and team chat, accompanied by Leah and Tom Worman. We were first to arrive but still the last team to be ready! After the dressage phase, Hannah, Natasha and I all won on our horses giving Portsmouth the lead overall. Lunch was soon served and the show jumping horses displayed. This proved to be rather exciting as one of the horses aptly named ‘Trauma’ decided that the crowd was standing too close and promptly attempted to take out several people ... he wasn’t used in the competition. After the jumping phase Portsmouth remained in the lead and therefore won the competition, (only right we beat them at their home competition!) Individually I was placed 1st,

Hannah 3rd and Natasha was 6th. A big thank you has to go to everyone on the behalf of the B Team that came and helped, watched and took pictures!

Equestrian B Team Competitions

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Women’s Lacrosse

photos: Tom Worman

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Brave effort from Women’s Lacrosse

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In the second leg against UCL, the women fought well against the number one team in the League. They were looking to avenge the heavy defeat they had been handed at home earlier in the season. Portsmouth were at a disadvantage right from the start, but the team battled it out in extremely cold and frosty conditions. After a slow start, the pace picked up and the Pompey team had many attempts at goal. Suzie Pope saw her long range shot just go wide and with the strong UCL defence our women were stopped from

... and features, and photos, and socials, and anything else you want to tell us about your club! It’s easy to get a mention in PWs - just e-mail everything to, visit, or come in to the Sabb Office at the Union and have a chat with us any time!

getting a goal. Man of the Match was awarded to Lorna Burns, who over the course of the season has showed immense improvement and played really well throughout a difficult match. It was a good clean game where the women played well as a team and did their best. Portsmouth unfortunately failed to keep up their scoring run in every match so far, but the overall performance as a team has improved extensively. At the end of a 20 - 0 defeat against UCL, the women still left the pitch in high spirits. - SB

Pugwash News Issue 8  

Pugwash News Issue 8 - 23/01/2008

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