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Summer is here!

Graduation News

Grad Ball Tickets A limited number of tickets are on general sale from the cash office. £35 per ticket. More information online at

Hoodies Personalised hoodies are now available with your name and course with the uni crest from


Life and Style Life from 1st year to 3rd year, Goodbyes from the old Sabbatical team, and hello from next year’s Sabb team.

pages 4-7

Arts and Ents Iron Man, Little Fish at LJR, Student Theatre, Dara O’Brien

pages 8-9 Portsmouth Students’ Union 2008 Events - photos by Tom Worman, Jacob Leverett, Alex Harries, Tallie Kane and Luke Simmonds Laura Patricia

I have been set the task of summing up a very busy year here at Pompey, so here goes! In October, we had, of course, Fresher’s Fayre and all the hilarity, and free stuff that that it brought, culminating with the Freshers’ Ball (and resulting in Freshers’ Flu). October was also the launch of dear old Pugwash News - how far we’ve come - as well as Black History Month and the Rugby World Cup. Meanwhile, Portsmouth University was awarded status as a sports centre of excellence. November saw the start of the top up fees debate, and the photo shoots for the AU Naked Calender. The first issue of Pugwash Maga-

zine was released, RAG began their fund raising with the RAG Ramble, and banter returned to Purple Wednesdays with the resurrection of Gotchas and the rest. A Portsmouth student discovered a new kind of dinosaur - all sorts of things went on! December came in with a bang: VIP won a national award (and hosted two events for children and the elderly) and The Enemy played a gig at the Union. Then we all scampered off home for the holidays and not much else happened! January saw the first ever “long distance” issue of Pugwash News being produced, with one of the articles sparking a chain of comment on the National Student Survey. UoP Boxers became the first ever English University Boxing Cham-

pions, Sailing made it to the Nationals and the first ever Pure FM Sports show hit the airwaves. Later in the month, we announced the launch of the new JobShop website. We also introduced the Portsmouth Phoenix (and it was around this time that Harry Law residents decided that the fire alarms were no longer funny...). February brought deadlines, exams and stress, as well as shock as we Freshers realised that we’d done one entire semester! We consoled ourselves by heading to the Re-Freshers’ Fayre, and joining societies we had missed the first time around. Pugwash put out their first 16 page issue amidst a bit of a legal debacle - you may have seen us handing out a paper without a front page. A group of students

went to Southampton to lobby MP John Denham on tuition fees, while the Societies flocked to the Union for the aptly-named Societies’ Takeover night, which was a huge success. RAG got more money for charity when the Pure FM team put out a special 24 hour broadcast, while a hockey Fresher was “kidnapped” and taken to Birmingham. In March our Library won an award from Portsmouth City Society, and The One World Fashion show took place in the Union. VIP held their Valentine’s Day old folks dinner, while PUD raised £400 for RAG with their Divathon. Saint Patrick’s day was moved, and I spent an entire weekend having happiness fits because Crufts had arrived at last! The final days before the




That’s your lot!

This is the last Pugwash News for this year - we’ll be back in October, so keep sending in your article ideas over the summer, as we’re always looking for new content! Just e-mail us on newsdesk@upsu. net, visit, or come in to the Sabb Office at the Union and have a chat with us any time!


Pugwash News Wednesday 28th May 2008



UPSU roundup

BBQ users warned over dangers

Continued from page: 1

Jacob Leverett

Easter holidays saw the culmination of the Sabb elections events, with campaigning week resulting in sofas, large birds and oversized cake boxes popping up around campus! The results of the election were finally announced late on the 14th March. April raised more money for RAG with the highly successful skydiving event. Lots of messy stuff happened on Tour 2008; check Facebook for details! The Hindu society held its Holi event in Ravelin Park, and Sheila Hancock was installed as the University Chancellor in a grand ceremony. The annual Intra-Mural dodgeball event took place, UPEL won six awards at the Best Bar None awards, and the UoP Boxing team took on the Metropolitan Police. Not everyone on Tour got mumps though, so that’s ok... This month we held Pugwash elections, the FA cup came to visit the Union and VIP held a “Pirates’ Day”. The Annual AU Dinner (celebrating all things Sporto) and Varsity events took place. May also saw the second round of deadline and exam stress, with the added weapon of dissertations. In the middle of all this though, the Good University Guide rated us 14th in the nation in terms of student satisfaction. Apparently we’re stressed, but we love it here! I’m sure I’ve left out plenty: it has been a busy and fab year and sadly there will never be room to include everything. We’ve certainly been keeping ourselves entertained here at Pugwash Towers, producing 15 issues of the paper and 5 issues of the magazine, as well as maintaing We’ve had some great articles and breaking stories, and have been granted interviews with The Enemy, John Denham, Sheila Hancock and Judge Jules, to name just a few. And we’ve been nominated for an NUS Student Media award! Roll on October, when we get to start all over again! In the meantime, don’t forget what’s still to come: graduation, the Grad Ball, the Student Activities Awards Dinner, and of course exams and the summer holiday.

Portable barbeque users in Portsmouth are being urged to act responsibly and clear away their coals after they’ve grilled their burgers and sausages this summer.

Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays

Time Wasting

“Small Print” and back issues

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Produced fortnightly by the University of Portsmouth Students’ Union (UPSU). Printed by Quotemeprint - www., 0845 130 0667, and printed on 100% recycled paper. Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays bears no allegiance to any political party and discriminates against no-one.

To get in touch with the Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays team, please visit, email us at, call us via the Union’s Media & Publications Officer at 023 9284 3657, or visit us at The Student Centre, Portsmouth Students’ Union, Cambridge Road, Portsmouth, Hampshire, PO1 2EF.


Errors & omissions: while we take every care to verify our content, we may occasionally make mistakes. Please contact us using the details above to report any inaccuracies or mistakes.

Liz Barlow, Caz Bird, Ed Buitterfield, Amy Duncan, Brian Fichardo, Wayne Gardiner, Elle Gray, Alex Harries, William Hobson, Simon Hugo, Kat King, Ella Lawson, Simon “Darby” Leach, Franz Lieber, Jenny Leggott, Andy Machin, Ben Norman, Rachael Penycate, Lucy Shorn, Henry Tipping, Steve Topazio, Chris Walsh, and Tom West.

Sub Editors

You can download back issues of Pugwash magazine and Pugwash News online at:

Southsea Common has become a “hot-spot” for barbeque mess and burnt grass for all the wrong reasons. The hot May weather has seen an increase in the numbers of people bringing portable barbeques onto the common and seafront to enjoy food, games and parties with friends and family. The Safer Portsmouth Partnership does not want to stop people having fun in the sun, but wants tourists and residents to treat Southsea Common as their back garden. It is urging them to keep it clean and tidy for when they want to use it again. Community wardens and Police Community Support Officers (PCSOs) will be patrolling the beach and common to ask people to clear up their mess and potentially fine those refusing to do so. They will also be giving out safety tips.Discarded barbecue coals can leave heated pebbles on the beach, potentially causing burns to anyone walking on the area afterwards. They also leave scorched areas of grass on the common that take considerable time to rejuvenate. Seamus Meyer, Parks and Recreation Manager for Portsmouth City Council, said: “We want people to enjoy their barbeques with their friends and family during this great weather. But we also want them to take responsibility for their rubbish. Groups of friends are urged to properly cool and dispose of their coals carefully.” The top safety tips are: ·Setting up: Make sure you have a level base and help to protect the area by raising the BBQ off the grass using a stand or some bricks. Ensure your BBQ is well away from risks. ·Lighting: Never use petrol. If you are using a gas BBQ and you suspect a leak, turn it off immediately. ·Put it out: Use water to extinguish your barbeque. There will be water standpipes available on Southsea Common.

Editor: Laura Patricia News Editor: Jacob Leverett Design Editor: Tom Worman Features Editor: Steph Hall Sports Editor: Ben Endley Reviews Editor: Tallie Kane Web Editor: Luke Simmonds

Design: Peter Allsop, Andy Donohoe & Kev Wilkins Features: Matt Blackall Sports: Peppa & Marisa

We would also very much like to sincerly thank anyone and everyone who has submitted this year and everyone who has been involved, we really appreciate it.

Not sudoku...


Pugwash News Wednesday 28th May 2008


Fortnights’ Politics

Sun and sea lead to dangers Graduate to play

P.D. Allslop

Jacob Leverett

Brown’s PMs questioned Gordon Brown’s leadership of the Labour Party has been called into question following a series of recent high profile defeats for the party. Back benchers and some previous members of government have begun to question whether Brown is the best person to lead the party into the next general election. Margaret Beckett, the former foreign secretary is claiming that Brown needs to change if he is to continue leading the party. PM meets with Dalai Lama Meanwhile, Gordon Brown has been holding meetings with the Dalai Lama. The Prime Minister and Tibet’s exiled spiritual leader met for a 30 minute private meeting. A government spokesperson stated that the meeting between the two leaders had included a discussion of “inter-faith issues” and “the importance of the dialogue between the Dalai Lama’s representatives and the Chinese authorities”. China has since the talks were announced condemend the British governement for “interfering with China’s internal politics”

for England

The hot weather is bringing with it significant numbers of accidents along the sea front. The marine and Coastguard agency, along with local lifeguard and lifeboats are expecting an increase in the number of rescues they will be performing.

Jumping from heights into water is so dangerous

Thursday 22nd May saw the Coastguards rescue helicopter and a RNLI (Royal National LIfeboat Institute) lifeboat involved in rescue of a child and his mother that got into trouble near Hayling Island. Steven Mann, Solent Maritime Rescue Coordination Centre, said about this incident: “They are very fortunate that a member of public rang 999 and asked for the Coastguard. The lifeboat on scene was able to rescue the two casualties from the water. Both mother and son were cold but safe and well and did not require any medical assistance.”

However, graphic images have been released of a Portsmouth man who is feared paralysed following “tombstoning” from South Parade Pier. Over the May Day bank holiday Sonny Wells dived 30ft into a mere 3ft of water, leading to severe spinal and neurological damage. Mr Wells now potentially will spend up to two years in hospital and be restricted a wheelchair for life. RNLI Head of Prevention and Lifeguards, Peter Dawes, has said: ‘Jumping from heights into water is so dangerous because water depth alters with the tide, so it might be shallower than it appears, submerged objects like rocks may not be visible, the shock of cold water can make it difficult to swim, plus strong currents can sweep people away rapidly.” The Coastguard are advising coastal users to endeavour to check tides and weather before taking to the water; and if you ever see anyone in danger on the water to call 999 and ask for the Coastguard. For more information visit:

Secretary of State plans visits Burma International Development Secretary, Douglas Alexander, is set to meet the Burmese government in Rangoon to discuss the aftermath of the cyclone that ravaged the country. Alexander will meet a UN delegation in Thailand before travelling to an international conference hosted by the Burmese government.

Straw criticised for sleeping arrangements with Rice David Miliband has criticised his predeccesor Jack Straw for making Condolezza Rice, his US equivalent, sleep on the floor at a previous meeting. photo: Royal National Lifeboat Institute

Divers searching for a 1galleon shipwrecked Spanish have found something unusual. A solid gold tool which has a toothpick at one end and earwax spoon at the other. It is worth $100,000.

An American car deal2 er is offering a free gun to anyone that buys

a used car. The salesman claims he “did it because of Barack Obama.”

photo: Getty A former Portsmouth University student has been selected to play for the England rugby squad next month. Nick Kennedy, who now plays for London Irish after playing for the Union’s Rugby and Basketball teams. Kennedy studied Sports Science at the university and graduated in 2002. The graduate has been selected to represent his national team as they play against New Zealand. He said: ‘It feels brilliant. I’ve worked hard over the last few years and I just hope that I actually get to play, as it’s a 32 man squad. I’ve never been to New Zealand so I’m really looking forward to it.’ Nick is one of four players from his club who have been selected for the England senior squad. Reminiscing over his time at the uni, Kennedy remembers that he was “due to captain the 1st XV rugby team in his final year, but instead was called up to play for London Irish under 21s.” Nick listed his favorite uni meories as ‘Wednesday nights in the Students’ Union and sitting out on the green in front of Rees Hall. Find out more:

Canadian police have 3 found a foot washed ashore south of Vancouver. Police claim this is the fourth such instance in the past ten months. All the previous feet have been right feet still wearing trainers.


A man from Washington state has claimed to have had sex with other 1,000 cars. Edward Smith claims he has never been attracted to people however he is to cars. Smith, in an interview with the Telegraph claims “I’m not sick and I don’t want to hurt anyone. Cars are just my preference,” Smith’s current flame is a Volkswagen Beetle that’s he’s named Vanilla, previous lovers include a 1973 Opal GT named Cinnamon, a 1993 Ford Ranger Splash he called Ginger, and Victoria, a 1969 Beetle.

Summer Vacancies

University News

Our top jobs this summer

Estranged students recognised by MP

A selection of the most exciting summer jobs listed by the Union’s Jobshop. For more vacancies or to find out more log onto: Web Developer - HTML and CSS Looking for IT employment over the summer? * Pay not specified School Uniform Shop Assistants * £5.80 per hour (25/30 hrs/wk)

Seasonal Event Stewards

Summer Yacht Instructor

Get paid to work at some of the leading events in the UK this summer and make friends in the process! Work available from May to September, most weekends. * £6.10 per hour (seasonal work)

Working in Greece or Turkey, teaching in-house yacht courses to our guests as well as skippering on day sails, running mini-flotillas and the general maintenance of the day yachts in our clubs. * Pay not specified

Wightlink Deck Hands in Portsmouth Fed up with picking lettuces? Fed up with holiday jobs that are dull and uninteresting? How about a job on the ocean wave? * Pay not specified, paid per hour (seasonal work)

Wimbledon Championships 2008 As official security supplier to the Championships Wimbledon, we are looking for honest and reliable people to act as security officers and stewards. Working for the Wimbledon Championships.son

New information has come to light on a story previously run in Pugwash News regarding students who are estranged from their parents and the difficulties they have finding financial support and claiming the money they should have access to. An MP has been put forward an Early Day Motion (EDM) before the House of Commons. Nia Griffith, the Labour MP for Llanelli, has asked the Government to support the National Union of Students’ report, Evaluating Estrangement. The report focuses on all aspects of students’ estrangement form their families and the effects

this can have. The motion calls “for better guidance on estrangement for higher education decision makers … in order to support vulnerable young people in their education and to ensure that estrangement and its consequences are not barriers to accessing education and student support”. However, the EDM does not focus on the whole estranged student issue, but rather on the cases of “lesbian, gay, bisexual and transexual (LGBT) students who are estranged from their parents” For the original article:


Pugwash News Wednesday 28th May 2008

Life and Style

CV: a ‘Conspicuous Vindication’ Henry Tipping

We have all been there; the summer period looms and we haven’t yet landed that full-time job to see us through it. I realised quickly that it is during these summers of pregraduation that the ‘white lie’ is so cunningly employed. To exemplify, joining the student representative body can quickly be translated into: ‘I represented the student corpus and would describe the experience as baring such effect upon my persons as to have changed the very essence with which I approach life and for that matter, future employment’. I find myself writing this article in conjunction to, and in a complacency of, my very own trail of lies. Obviously it must appear professional, serious, and most of all convincing, and here waits the danger of the lies. Do employers really check whether you helped the primary school hamsters defeat the tyrannical positioning of the wheel as it jammed against the salt lick that attempted to crush their poor helpless bodies the previous day? I have already lied five times in my CV and I am still on the Personal Details section. This article bares my name, possible employers will also know my name - maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all. To be totally honest with ourselves here, we don’t want to be stuck in an assistant/junior/wastebin attendant admin position for longer than the summer itself. It is from this that I find it hard to write

my CV with much sincerity. It is not the job itself that I write against, rather, it is the process of writing from memory of previous experiences: paper-rounds, references of teachers who won’t remember you, the address of the Miss Havisham type spinster who lived in the castle at the top of a muddy hill for whom you once cut the grass. Maybe I find this annoying because I am one of those terrible non-opportunists; we who throw the elderly man’s paper in a bush and skid our BMX across his gravel drive and then quit the job after a few days because there are more pressing matters at hand (namely, sweets to eat, trees to climb). You see, already I have digressed into reminiscing things wholly inappropriate for a CV. Well, don’t be lazy, join the club, and attend the meetings. Extra-curricular nonsensical teamwork is the key. University is different though - it is definitely a good idea to join as much as possible and sign as much of your free time away to societies and meetings. Do it or you’ll find yourself in a similar predicament to mine. So far, I’ve run for shadow minister for three consecutive years, spent a year in Australia wearing only jeans with long blond hair shearing sheep, have saved three countries from the brink of nuclear disaster (although I had to postpone the third as I felt my A-levels took priority) and used to be the on-the-set ‘fluffer’ for the RSPCA photo shoots. Who wouldn’t employ me?

photo: desi.italy at

Great Expectations? Liz Barlow

Now that I am near the finishing line of my degree, I can safely tell you that my time here has been unique to most others. My first year went by in a haze of depression, stuck in halls with people who I would not dream of talking to outside in the ‘real’ world. That’s not to say that I didn’t make an effort, but the fact is that I had never met such horrible people in my life. It broke my confidence as it would most people. I had been promised, as we all had, that university would be the best years of your life; that you’ll make your best friends and

that these years will be missed. In hindsight my expectations were far too high and I ask all future teachers and career advisers not to tell students that university is full of these wonderful experiences. Most of all, I felt this pressure to be happy because it is what everybody had expected, so along with living with undesirable people, I had the added shame of depression at a time that everybody had so highly recommended. However, the fact is that depression, especially in the first year of university, is surprisingly common and more needs to be done to prevent it happening. Simple measures such as meeting your prospective hall-mates before

Evolution of a student Matt Blackall

My first year; the first time away from home. I had only been able to legally drink alcohol for three months. Where I lived before I had to travel 25 minutes to get to the popular bars and clubs. Where I lived before, there were only around 15 people my age - everyone else at school came by bus from other parts of town. I had never lived away from home before and had lived in the same house for 18 years. Who knew how I’d turn out at the end. My first year can be defined by three things: money, pétanque and alcohol. As with many students, money was ultimately my biggest concern. I never had enough of it, not to buy nice things, but to afford to live. Pétanque, a sport few people would had heard of (a variation of lawnbowling), was my passion. Every Tuesday I used to hop on my bike for the 30 minute journey and practice. Nearly every weekend I was travelling the country playing competitions. Finally, alcohol; by the end of the year, I had settled into only

having two nights a week where I didn’t drink. Living in Langstone, there was a brilliant bar a few seconds walk away. Me and a good friend worked out that between us, we spent just over a thousand pounds on alcohol. This was my life in the first year.

As with many students, money was ultimately my biggest concern. I never had enough of it

Now, I am ending my final year. I am a Pugwash sub-editor, President of People & Planet, the Environmental Representative on the EED Committee and also the VIP Environmental Projects Manager. Until recently, I was nearly always out of the house at meetings or at events. Money is still a massive concern - so much so I am leaving for home soon. I still play pétanque, but never go to practice on Tuesdays. I still drink alcohol, but only a few times

Life and Style » Volunteering

Year of success for VIP Brian Fichardo

The academic year 2007-2008 saw me take on the role as President of Volunteering In Portsmouth (VIP) and was also the third year I was part of VIP. I got involved with VIP by signing up at Fresher’s Fayre in October 2005, back then VIP was just getting off the ground. Led by Diana Langford (our honourable Ben’s predecessor), a committee was formed, of which I was a part. VIP’s history goes back three years for myself, with the planning of a Christmas craft day for

disabled children, which required a lot of preparation and was the beginning of our learning curve which has enabled VIP to develop to the great team it is now. The learning curve continued later that year with a Senior Citizens dinner and our first ever Pirates Day, events which have continued to grow and improve over the last three years. At the end of the year I left to go on placement and VIP changed hands with new committee members joining. Whilst I was away on my placement VIP continued to improve with Steve and Beth improving the current events,

you move in and easier procedures to move to other accommodation would make all the difference. My second year was better but, still broken by my bad experiences, my confidence took a while to repair. It is only now in my last few weeks of university, that I can say I have met some truly treasured friends of whom I am so thankful to have met and some inspiring teachers. So there you have it, university is indeed what you make it, which includes the good with the bad. Heaven forbid if anybody is in the position I found myself in, I hope that they will get the help and recognition they need.

and myself coming down on the train to help at each event. In October as we started out this year, I set myself two goals - the first of which was to raise the profile of VIP and the second was to increase student participation. This year I believe that we have achieved not only that, but have built ties with other local colleges, won a national award (Student Volunteering Team Of The Year), arranged two new events (Christmas and summer lunches for the local senior citizens), started looking at joint events with other universities within the region, and begun to

start environmental projects. We’ve had another exceptional committee, whose work should be praised and without whom VIP’s successes would not have been as great. Also not forgetting a huge thank you to all our volunteers this year and special thanks goes to Steve Baker and Ben Norman! I’m applying for a Masters course and also for a regional role in Volunteering England for next year. I’ve seen VIP grow from its humble roots and I am confident and proud to step back and let a new group led by Beth Shephard as president to take it into the future.

a week and hardly ever go to clubs. Drinking less and taking part in more activities are things that have definitely enriched my life and I wouldn’t change this for the world. However, I still do have a deep sense of regret in not being able to play pétanque as much - a sport I still love. Before I came to university, my pétanque game was improving year on year to the extent that I played for England. I also regret not learning from my money situation, in order to better prepare myself. As a result, I have to leave university for good three weeks before my friends and I’ll miss out on hanging out with people who mean so much to me - a lot of whom I know through my roles in the Union, but who I will possibly never be able to hang round with again. There is no philosophical point of this article, but just to say that circumstances change; don’t be afraid of it. There are always sacrifices, some of which are hard to take, but these ultimately will help you grow as a person. My advice is, try and make every year at university different from the last, but don’t push your friends away.


Pugwash News Wednesday 28th May 2008

Life and Style

An Englishman in Spain Tom West

Pugwash News may have ended for this year; however I’ve still some time to go before I escape the evil tyranny of translation classes here and make my way back home, where come September, more tyrannically evil translation classes await me. I must’ve killed kittens in a past life to deserve this. As I type, my best friend Darren’s sitting on the sofa next to me; he’s come to spend a week with me in this fair city, but is also having to put up with me finishing my last year abroad column (sob) and me going to the, ahem, occasional uni class... The nice thing about ending this column now is that it allows you to have fun deciding in which way you’d like my year abroad to end! Remember, the choice you make says more about you than it does me and as they say: the choice is yours! Play along at home if you want as well... A: I pass my exams, win the lottery and spend the summer cruising around the Caribbean. B: I flunk my exams, and have to get a McJob in order to pay my bills over the summer. C: I have a nervous breakdown, run away with the circus and spend

the summer lion-taming. Thanks to the fact that I lived in Spain long ago, I have not had the pleasure of learning loads of strange and bizarre things about the Spanish as I did about the French from my time in Toulouse. However, I shall enlighten those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of visiting this wondrous country by sharing some of my favourite Spanish behaviour traits (specifically those from Granada): 1. Should you not have the correct small change in a supermarket to help the cashier, you’re Satan. If they don’t have the correct small change meaning you go away with less money than you should, that’s life. 2. Traffic lights are only decorations and pedestrian crossings, merely street art. Drivers may apparently go where they want, when they want and with neither complaint nor resistance. When I shouted at a driver for nearly killing me, he told me to stop being so foreign about it. 3. Clapping is obligatory. Any place, time or reason. Someone may be street dancing, or singing, or picking up their dog’s mess. What better way to celebrate these once-in-a-lifetime events than by providing a musical accompaniment?

Are you going abroad next year? Be a travel reporter for Pugwash News For more information email:

Student opportunities within Portsmouth and Southsea Festival Lucy Schorn

The first major festival in Portsmouth will be held during Fresher’s Fortnight in October. Lucy Schorn talked to Daniel Sutton, the Community Project Co-ordinator. The event is going to be open to all ages, with a top notch line up of bands and events spread over four days. Not only that, but there is also some excellent C.V boosting opportunities being made available to University of Portsmouth students! When and where is the Portsmouth and Southsea Festival being held? The festival will be on Castle Field, next to the Pyramids Centre on Thursday 9th October to Sunday 12th October 2008. What is your role in the festival? I’m responsible for getting all the local schools and colleges involved, as well as the University of Portsmouth. What bands are playing the festival? Each day will be themed to a different genre of music so there’s guaranteed to be something for everyone: Thursday evening will be early 90’s Brit Indie. Friday is primarily dance music, with live dance bands as well as Dj-ing. Saturday will be contemporary / NME style indie rock. Sunday is a family day, with official tribute and ‘re-emergence’ bands, which basically means some familiar faces from the 80’s and 90’s are making a comeback, there will be some real legends so that’s

definitely not one to miss! We’re going to be having some really big names in many different genres but I’m afraid I can’t give any names away just yet! If you join the 4000+ members on our Facebook group you’ll get instant updates of all the bands as they are confirmed. How big is the festival? The site will consist of one main arena that holds up to 7000 people as well as satellite areas (small stages), where local club nights and niche music genres will be catered for. We’re currently just waiting on Portsmouth City Council to give us the go ahead for the smaller areas, but we are confident they will be very popular. How much is entry and how do we go about getting tickets? Daily ticket prices are to be confirmed, but that information will also be available through our Facebook page as soon as we know. How can students be involved? There are specific areas in the festival for which we have established connections with the corresponding University departments. We are talking to the Creative Technology department about providing film crews and broadcast footage, and allowing students to shadow contracted industry professionals involved in sound production, lighting and stage management. The School of Art, Design and Media are also involved, helping us recruit fine art, graphic design, illustration and photography students to work on exclusive designs for festival merchandise as well as

programme design opportunities and the open art space that we are currently developing. Journalism students and individuals from School of Creative Art, Film and Media, will have opportunities to work as reviewers, editors and as part of a news team to produce the festival newspaper/ programme. We are currently in discussion with course leaders from I.T and CCI so there may also be opportunities in these areas.

Why have you decided to offer these positions to students?

As an ex-student from the University of Portsmouth myself, I’m able to look back at my student days and see how valuable an opportunity like this would have been! The festival organisers wish to keep the idea of community involvement and creative integration at the forefront of the festival. What better chance for students to help us as we help them! How can they find out more?

Students can go directly to Purple Door recruitment and register their name and area of interest with Alice Hickman. It is understood these will be largely volunteer positions. Students can also speak to their lecturers and course leaders, who will be able to give some information. Time is fairly limited so get in there quick!

Keep an eye out for festival freebies and giveaways at Fresher’s Week in October! Just go to our website and you’ll find a link to the Facebook group on our homepage:

Life and Style » Healthy Living

Life and Style » Societies Spotlight

Five a Day

Juggle Pompey!

Amy Duncan

Most students asked around campus don’t eat the recommended five pieces of fruit and vegetables a day, which we need for healthy metabolisms. Michelle Robinson, Nutritional Therapist from the Hampshire organisation, Appetite for Health, said: “It is hard for students as they don’t often have the cooking facilities. I don’t think you can expect students to cook all the time, it is unreasonable”. We spoke to First year student,

Celestine Attuwo, who said: “I ate more fruit and vegetables at home, as at home I am not in a hurry. As a student you are always in a hurry to grab something quick and easy to prepare.” The popular excuse for consuming cheesy chips, foot long subways and frozen pizza is that cooking vegetables can be time consuming and expensive. Some students feel they don’t have the knowledge or equipment to cook the vegetables they should eat. Easy and affordable solutions are available, such as the fresh produce market, and frozen and tinned veg-

etables and juice. Even some fruity ice-creams count towards your five-a-day. Robinson says: “It is just students being lazy!” Professional advice indicates we need a minimum of five fruit and vegetables for a reason; they’re versatile and tasty, and good for our skin and health. But fear not – the ever popular student meal of baked beans on toast is recognisably nutritional, counting as one of the recommended five a day! And it even tastes good! For more:

Amy Kimber

When people think of the Juggling Society they automatically think of one thing – juggling balls! In fact, we do so much more than juggling. Within the society we use a number of props and learn a vast variety of skills - the most popular being poi and staff spinning. Other props that are used in juggling practice include diablo, hula hoops, clubs, devil sticks, a unicycle and a few others. Learning to use all these props and skills is fun and allows the user to have a sense of freedom and creativity.

There is also a performance team within the society, who all have high standards of skills to show off and are all brilliant teachers. They are happy to share their skills and help everyone learn from their abilities which is the best part of juggling - the people. There truly is a mix of really great people and whilst we have our own unique personalities, we’re all the same when it comes to our passion for the society. Everyone is kind and eager to help others learn from their skills and that’s what I love about this society. Do come and join us next year!


Pugwash News Wednesday 28th May 2008

Life and Style

Until next year... Laura Patricia Newspaper Editor It’s hard to believe that a year ago I had never met any of these lovely people, and had only heard of Pugwash through a Facebook group entitled “I want to work for UPSU media”. How glamorous it all sounded back then; how eager I was standing up in front of those strangers in October, declaring that I wanted to be the Editor of their new publication. I remember writing my first editorial, wondering even then what the heck I’d let myself in for. A bit of stress, a fair few late hours, but also experience, a lot of fun and some friends I can’t imagine university without. Yes, I have at times questioned my sanity, but Pugwash is my “second degree”, and I just have to do the best I can. I am sadly handing over the reins of power next year, but not passing on my red pen, so bring on Year Two! Steph Hall Features Editor What a year it’s been! From starting off as a features sub-editor, to becoming head of features, and becoming the new Pugwash magazine editor, effective from October! This year has been full of fun filled frolics and has given me many opportunities, from interviewing DJs to writing articles and meeting some amazing people. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s like a mini-family. Being involved in the Union has given me some great hands-on work experience and I’ve loved every minute of it. I’ve got two years left to take advantage of this experience and I intend to do that. So here’s to the future for UPSU Media. Cheers! Matt Blackall Features Sub-Editor I could use this space to cry out my thanks to everyone for this year, to say how I’ll miss Portsmouth, but that’s just too predictable. I have learnt that there are many things that make a person; one being your principles. By taking away what makes you a person you are also taking away meaning from your life. To make your principles a part of your life, you need to act upon them. Therefore, due to the amazing climate of apathy, I feel I am living life more than most people. So all I have to say is: get a life! Peter Allsop Newspaper Design Sub-Editor I have been with the design team for Pugwash News since Refresher’s Fayre, which makes this my 6th issue. I have learnt a lot since I started my current role, not only on the design and application side but also the importance of working as a

team, which will be useful later in life. As of next year I will be the Design Editor, which means I will be leading a team of designers, which currently consists of just me so I am recruiting. Luke Simmonds Web Editor The role of the web editor didn’t exist before this year. The role is bigger than anyone first imagined and a SubEditor was needed; Jon Goddard took up the task. The web team has achieved a lot this year but there is always room for improvement. My aim next year, as I have been re-elected, is to build up a large and reliable web team to get the content online and prepare a good handover for the editor who takes over in 2009/10. A massive thanks must go out to the web team: Pete, Jon, Daniel, Sammi, Phil. Also to Tallie and Jacob for their help. We need you to make our media stronger and better so get involved with the web team, newspaper and magazine next year. Tallie Kane Reviews Editor It’s been great being on board the good ship Pugwash News, especially in its founding year when it’s been absolutely mental but ultimately satisfying. This year I’ve created a great relationship with record companies to get photo passes, gig tickets, singles and albums for us to review, and I hope to continue this with next year’s sub-editors. I can’t possibly say anything that will justify the boys and and girls that have been my contributors this year, they have been fantastic, an utter rock when I’ve been pulling my hair out before deadline. Well, everyone at Pugwash Towers will have to put up with me another year as Arts & Entertainments Editor, so no goodbye except to anyone that is leaving my team this year. Sign up, you have a great laugh, whilst doing what you love and get great media experience. Jacob Leverett News Editor This year has been an interesting one. It started with me and Harries locked in the office frantically trying to kill each other and it ended with me and Tom Worman in the office trying to frantically kill each other. It feels like we have gone full circle. I’ve waffled on before about Pugwash News growing. I think its important to talk about people, we have had a huge growth in the number of people and I’ve really had to learn a lot about how to work constructively with as many people as possible . UPSU media has grown beyond all expectations and next year will hopefully see this growth continue at an even faster

A fond farewell from... Ben Norman 2007/08 Student Activities and Development Officer (SADO) Last year I ran for the role of SADO as I saw that there was a job that needed to be done. Societies needed to be given space to grow and the support to reach their true potential; whilst VIP and student training needed reform. Today at the end of my year in office I can say, job done. This has been the year of societies. The membership numbers have bro-

Elle Gray 2007/08 President This year I have had the privilegeof overcoming some of the troubles of the past and all areas are blossoming. We are much more professional and more highly regarded by people in the University and wider community than ever before. A few highlights for me are the continued strength of our Volunteering Team, the amount of money raised for charities, a renewed focus on our

Kat King Student Support Officer I’m glad I was elected to be your Student Support Officer. Unfortunately I won’t be here next year. It’s been a challenging year and we’ve had some tricky problems to deal with, but I think the team have done a fantastic job. There have been some tremendous achievements, in particular the launch of the newspaper, dramatic improvements in the course rep structure, free educa-

Alex Harries Media and Publications Officer I really can’t believe that my year in office is almost over. My successor, has already become a permanent fixture in the Sabb Office, and I’m pretty sure that every time I come back to my desk, something’s been “borrowed” because people think I’m no longer here... ;o) The Union’s student media has done some absolutely amazing things this year. The students that make everything hap-

ken through the 3000 barrier whilst the number of new societies has been staggering. Student training was also given a boost in the arm with the invention of STAND, a student run student led training course which I established to give students transferable and tangible skills. Volunteering has also gone from strength to strength. The Union can only be judged by the strength of its members, its ability to organise those members and its ability to engage, inspire, and empower. This

has been my driving ethos throughout the year and I hope that to some extent it has been achieved. I am content that I have provided an alternative to tradition, an opportunity for change and I am sure that everything I have stood by and worked for will be staying, safe in the hands of the staff and the new Sabb team. I trust the next year’s sabbatical team will rise to their own challenges and fulfil their own agendas, but all the while the Union can only go forward.

primary objective (the advancement of education) through improved course rep structure and training, many different sports successes and a new energy coming from the amount of new societies forming and holding fantastic events. All this combined with the birth of a proper newspaper to join our already strong media has meant we are able to communicate better than ever before. I am also especially proud of the fact we have always been there for students in any situ-

ation, that is what really makes us the Students’ Union. I want to thank my Sabb team for being so passionate about their individual roles, the permanent staff who work tirelessly behind the scenes with absolute professionalism and enthusiasm despite - or maybe because of - all the crazy ideas we throw at them, and last but not least, the students who have helped in our diverse range of activities and events - your efforts are what makes this Union so great. Good luck to everyone next year!

tion campaign, election of an Ethics Equality and Diversity Committee and a huge increase in participation in both Sports Clubs and Societies. My personal highlights are that RAG has raised more money than ever before, but also a great number of clubs, societies and other student groups running their own events to support our chosen charities. Union Council has received greater publicity and at certain meetings has seen the largest attendance in recent years. I am also extremely pleased

that we have a Halls of Residence chair on the executive committee now and a communication structure in place. I’ve attended so many fabulous things this year, and I’m really looking forward to my first Student Activities Dinner! So thanks to everyone that has helped me out this year and I’m so pleased we won our first game (ever!) as part of the Women’s Lacrosse team. I expect great things next year girls. What more can I say, but four years at Portsmouth has been immense!

pen, from editors to contributors, committee members to radio DJs, and everyone in-between - have worked their socks off to produce more content than we’ve ever had before. A huge thanks goes out to everyone who’s contributed in any way, no matter how much or little, this year - well done. I’m still in office until the end of July (although I’m heading to Ibiza so I won’t be here for a few weeks), and in the remaining few weeks of my term in office I’m going to be doing my best

to teach Tom everything I (don’t) know about this job so he can do an even better job next year. I have every confidence that Pugwash News will kick some serious arse next year, so make sure you keep reading. All that remains is to say “thank you and goodbye” to everyone who I’ve worked with this year. I’ve had a helluva lot of fun, and learnt a lot about the job. And, of course, apologies if I’ve been grumpy with you - it’s nothing personal; I’m just a git ;o) /Al


Pugwash News Wednesday 28th May 2008

Life and Style

...and hello to your new Sabbs Andrew Machin 2008/09 President Elect Since being in office as the Education and Representation officer I have achieved everything I promised and more! I promised to improve the course rep structure and this has happened, to the point now where more issues are being raised by course reps than ever before, course reps have a proper forum to express their concerns via the course rep executive council being set up and course reps were properly trained for the first time in many years. Next year Steve will have his hands full maintaining and improving the structure further but I’m sure he will do this and will continue to improve the post of Ed & Rep. I also promised that I would improve the Union disciplinary structure and without going into too much detail I can unequivocally state that I have done this, with ban guidelines and the panel being selected from Union Council members. Furthermore, I have organised a top-up fees debate – attended by the vice-chancellor, NUS staff and several other important figures in the future of the top-up fees and whether the cap is lifted or not. Other than many other changes

Steve Topazio 2008/09 Ed and Rep Officer Elect I’m really looking forward to the upcoming year; the team that has been elected will work really well together, which I think will benefit all the students. I personally am looking forward to continuing to improve course reps so that they can be a real driving force behind

Ella Lawson 2008/09 Student Activities and Development Officer (SADO) Elect Hello all, I’m Ella and I will be your Student Activities and Development Officer for the next year. I’m just finishing my degree in economics and law and believe me I cannot wait until my last exam ever! I’m very excited about my job for the next year, particularly the VIP work. I have a wonderful committee to work with next year and I really want to help them reach their

Simon Leach 2008/09 Sports Officer Elect My aims for next year are to continue to build on foundations laid this year. I want to lobby the University for more sports facilities, create more links with local clubs, launch an AU strategy, brand the AU to increase the profile and make sport bigger and better than ever before. The paper has helped increase the

that I have made for the better internally within UPSU, I would say that my main achievement has been working with Darby for a whole year and not killing him! - Watch the tour video and you’ll know what I mean ;-) Another massive achievement, on a personal level, was being elected as next year’s President. I cannot wait to start and can honestly say that UPSU has exciting times ahead. If you are going to be here next year please get involved with everything your Union offers you, be it a Sports club, Society, RAG, the ever improving Media Team, Course Reps or any of the other activities we offer. If you feel that we don’t currently offer ‘you’ anything, please come and see us in the Sabb office and we will do our best to cater for you! Next year looks very positive and I promise you one thing and that is that we will strive to fight for what you, the student wants and continue to campaign for the issues that effect you at University. I look forward to seeing you all again next year and for those of you leaving, don’t forget to come visit! Good luck in your exams and have an awesome summer, see you all at the end of September! Bloody Cheers, Jaffa

getting issues resolved within the University. I am also looking to improve attendance at Union Council and to improve the awareness of what actually goes on at the Union. Finally I hope to improve the library opening hours - I expect this will be a be difficult process but with the right campaign and evidence I think I can begin to make some head way in improving access to students.

goals. I also want to help societies progress further. I’m going work my hardest to secure extra funding for societies and VIP and I’m sure the rest of my Sabb buddies will agree with me when I say that I really want to get ourselves out there and reach more of the student body than ever before: getting more involved with uni life. Thats all I have room to say, except for have a good summer and I’ll see you all next year! Els xx

profile of sport and more people than ever have participated. The introduction of the new sports website next year will also help this. I want to develop the intra-mural programme so we can fill all the clubs to capacity. Finally, Tour and AU dinner. Everyone had a great time at both and they were a huge success. I’ll be looking forward to them and continuing to improve the AU next year.

Caz Bird 2008/09 Student Support Officer Elect

Tom Worman 2008/09 Media and Publications Officer Elect

I’m really looking forward to the upcoming year; the team that has been elected will work really well together, which I think will benefit all the students. I personally am looking forward to continuing to improve course reps so that they can be a real driving force behind getting issues resolved within the University. I am also looking to improve attendance at Union Council and to improve the awareness of what actually goes on at the Union. Finally I hope to improve the library opening hours - I expect this will be a be difficult process but with the right campaign and evidence I think I can begin to make some head way in improving access to students.

It has been an exciting year this year as Pugwash News Design Editor, with the launch of this fabulous paper. We have changed how it looks practically every issue, with some exciting new layouts and some awesome photography. I’m looking forward to starting my new Sabb role as YOUR Media Officer, with a list as long as my arms (I have very long arms) of projects for boosting the standard and involvement in UPSU media. I want to get started as soon as possible. If you are still here next year I urge you to get involved in our media, be it this newspaper, our magazine, radio station, website or the forthcoming video team! See you all next year, much love!


Pugwash News Wednesday 28th May 2008

Arts and Entertainments


Singles Foals: Red Socks Pugie Rating: 3/5 Tallie Kane

Glasvegas: Geraldine Rating: 5/5 Tallie Kane

The Mystery Jets: Two Doors Down Rating: 3/5 Tallie Kane

XX Teens: The Way we were Rating: 0/5 Tallie Kane

Laura Marling: Cross Your Fingers/Crawled out of the Sea Rating: 5/5 Tallie Kane

Film Technical as ever, and tight as a tiger, this slightly more spacedout offering from the Oxford boys isn’t as demanding as anything you’ve heard from them before. In the opening beats to the song you aren’t wondering where to listen, but the sparseness highlights something that you may not have noticed about the boys. Rocketed

into fame (unfortunately, or fortunately?) on the good ship ‘Skins’, they actually aren’t bad lyricists, even if the song only has a few. The song reaches a great, satisfying crescendo that will no doubt please fans because it gives them something to wave their I-didn’t-jumpon-the-bandwagon glow-sticks in the air.

To be fair, I was pretty prejudiced about Glasvegas before I heard this song; I was expecting some rubbish guitar indie-boy band who passed themselves off as ‘epic’ because they asked the local school’s orchestra to ‘lend a hand’. But to be fair, it’s actually pretty, well, nice! There’s something quite punky

about James Allens’ vocals, a sort of embodiment of Buddy Holly/ Elvis Costello singing something about social workers in a rather pleasing manner. It’s simple, but there’s something in the equation that’s gripping. They succeeded where The Enemy fell flat on their faces.

Oh they are lovely those Mystery Jets boys, singing about love and happy things, but you can’t expect much else from the Mystery Jets now that their Dad’s taken off the training wheels. The Mystery Jets have gone back to an earlier time, back when boys weren’t singing about cities and

religion and politics, but singing about girls, and they do it pretty well. It’s full of cheesy, cliche lyrics and diddling guitars but they do it in such an unashamedly gorgeous way that you can’t wait to invite them round for tea and crumpets. My Nan likes them, is that enough?

What is this, seriously? It’s kind of like being tricked into going to Thorpe Park and ending up in the music-equivalent of a torture chamber. There isn’t actually anything good about this song. The end.

This frankly endearing offering from the Reading born lass is just as beautiful and deeply dark as the other singles that she’s let out into the world. Hidden underneath an upbeat, and ultimately deceiving musical setting are the workings of a girl that either ages really well, is a Timelord or has seen the great tragedies and heartbreaks to

Iron Man Rating: 4/5 Chris Walsh

Iron Man is all it’s cracked up to be. The first Marvel movie without big studio backing has everything you’d expect - action, explosions, romance, humour and villains. The story follows Tony Stark, a weapons dealer who’s inherited his dad’s arms-dealing empire. After a presentation in Afghanistan leads to his capture, Stark is forced to build a WMD for his captors, something completely against his pro-American beliefs. But he doesn’t build the WMD; instead he turns himself into one, a flamethrowing, bullet-proof metal-man.

Iron Man’s success (making £5.4 million in the UK alone in just three days) is down to Robert Downey Jr. As Stark he’s a charming, arrogant, funny and flawed man. The fact

that superhero movies (and their sequels, with Iron Man 2 set for 2010) often do well shouldn’t detract from his performance. Villain-wise, Stark must fight his captors from Afghanistan and someone much closer to home. Action-wise, there’s a superb sequence as Stark develops his hitech suit, tonnes of fight sequences and even an Iron Man versus fighter jets scene! The supporting cast is great, with Gwyneth Paltrow as Stark’s personal assistant and love interest Pepper Potts, Terrence Howard as Jim Rhodes, Stark’s army liaison and Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stane, Stark’s mentor and business partner. The visual effects are top-notch, as is the soundtrack. There’s an open-ended plot, leaving plenty of scope for sequels and other Marvel superhero movies. Stay after all the credits. There’s another excellent scene – and it’s well worth the wait.

Want to write reviews for Pugwash News? Email: reviews@ come at such a young age. From start to finish, it’s fantastic and although deviating from the other songs on her album ‘Alas I Cannot Swim’, doesn’t disappoint. ‘Crawled Out of the Sea’ appears at the end of the music video and shows the beautiful range of Laura’s haunting and stylistically brilliant voice.

Album of the fortnight Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Rating: 4.5/5 Ed Butterfield Screw Ray LaMontage. And screw Damien Rice. Ben Gibbard, Jens Lekman and James Yorkston? They can all go to hell. Zach Condon can stay, but he must stay quiet and listen. Rightfully claiming the ‘Jeff Buckley Crown of Melancholy Male

Singer-Songwriters’, Bon Iver’s (aka Justin Vernon) debut solo album ‘For Emma, Forever Ago’, is as sad and majestically nostalgic as the title suggests. Put simply, this is the most emotive and heart-rending record of the decade so far. As ethereal as Sigur Ros, but as down to earth as Bright Eyes, this is an album recorded in isolation, in a cabin in the woods of Wisconsin, and it was during the three months of its writing and recording which Vernon lived a kind of ‘Into The Wild’ lifestyle, teaching himself to hunt and then selling what he caught for money towards guitars and recording equipment. A fictional as this sounds, this is a re-

cord born of true isolation an introspection, which bears all the scars and birthmarks of the situation in which it was produced. From debut single ‘Skinny Love’, with the heartbreaking hook of ‘Well I told you to be patient/ Well I told you to be kind’, every nuanced whisper in the microphone and cracked vocal into his voice speaks of experience and sadness which the listener is only being shown the surface of. It’s difficult to not fall in love with this album, and whilst his music doesn’t yet have the ability to tear your heart to shreds as Jeff Buckley could, Bon Iver should still wear his crown with pride.

photos: Andy Donohoe


Pugwash News Wednesday 28th May 2008

Arts and Entertainments


Gigs Little Fish @ Little Johnny Russels Rating: 4/5 Tallie Kane

Opening with a carefully choreographed but still unbelievably wild drum introduction, Little Fish’s Juju pounces onto the stage with a strange energy that far outstretches her small stature. ‘Devil’s Eyes’ is something else, a signature introduction that catches you right in the belly. With yelps, screams and shouts, ‘Darling Dear’ rushes out of Juju’s mouth, bringing about whispers of Patti Smith among the crowd, never a bad thing, not in my humble opinion anyway. Juju’s voice is one you have to hear live to fully appreciate, pulled out from somewhere inside her lungs that

shows not only a great talent but a great commitment to her art. Screw the indie boys with their gravelly tones and the yelping electro girls, when you have a sound as gutwrenching as this you forget about them and just ride with it like a wave that won’t let you go. It’s throughout the set that you truly understand Nez’s rhythmic genius, strength that looks effortless and drives the two piece with an enthusiasm and possession that is utterly exhausting for the audience, I have no idea how he’s feeling. One of the songs that truly set off the night is ‘Perfect Stranger’, a truly emotive song that not only completely fails description, but reflects great, eclectic song writing. The encore though...awesome! I stood with my jaw in my shoes as I watched Nez have a turbo-speed fight with the drums and win, gloriously. You can listen to their music at:

These New Puritans photos: Tallie Kane

Early Morning Theatre Company Rating: 3/5 Ben Norman

This week marks the pinnacle of high culture in Portsmouth University as third year drama students perform their final plays of the year. This week witnessed two half hour plays from the “Early Morning Theatre Company”; The Likeness and A Muse to Death, two harrowing social commentaries. The Likeness, the first performance, is built around an impressive premise but lost my support when, during the first sentence the lead actress took great relish in shouting the word “c**t” in a cynical shock and awe campaign undoubtedly intending to set alight the sensibilities of the chattering classes, whilst hoisting the banner of respectability as a serious piece of art. No such luck. Being a member of the hoi-poli and being familiar with such profanity I can recognise swearing for the sake of it and it only served to turn the audience

Dara O’Brien: Stand Up Comedy Kings Theatre Rating: 4/5 William Hobson

The manic Irish comic’s latest stand up tour hit Portsmouth on Tuesday at the Kings Theatre in Southsea, and – well, O’Brien puts it best; you had to be there. If you’ve

off with an unnecessary distraction from the central premise. With references to overthrown casino gangsters, boulevards of the martyrs and palaces of the revolution, the script was littered with debris from fallen dictatorships ranging from Castro, Ceausescu and Pinnoche. This added historical weight to the plot of a fallen dictator being forced to face his fate, his past and his fall from power in an emotional encounter with the artist commissioned to paint his pre-firing squad portrait. Whilst the roles of both painter and dictator were played with zeal and talent the writer did not seem to match script to theme. The maddened rants of the fallen tyrant would have been more fitting for an ambitious young man of vision who had not yet achieved such infamy. Historically fallen dictators are ridden with hubris, oblivious to their impending fate and kept in a constant state of disconnection from reality, surrounded as they are with sycophants. That said both performances were conducted with great aplomb and this piece can be considered a prime example of the Zeitgeist. The second play of the evening, “A Muse to Death” set its central theme as media driven blood lust and set its sights on the growing relationship between mass enter-

tainment and warfare in the age of 24 hour media. By fusing social commentary with harrowing predications the play takes a glimpse into the lives of two young professionals, who inhabit a not too distant future where BBC coverage of foreign wars is considered the epitome of entertainment. Unlike The Likeness, the at times crude and pseudo-erotic script was perfectly in place to demonstrate how the couple are not only de-sensitised to violence but glorify it, even to the point of sexual gratification. The turning point comes when the reality of war literally walks into their front room with the arrival of the eponymous muse, a grisly personification of the brutalities of war. The muse is a victim of horrific war crimes, and although she laments her tale with a Dickensian cockney accent, her suffering acts to highlight the true face of warfare in the modern age. It could be argued that it is not the horror or violence of war which entertains the Orwellian prose, it is a glamorised Hollywood image of war, where no one dies and collateral damage is the moniker for civilian murder. That said, this play brilliantly serves to warn of the state of things to come in a world when the media has itself become a battle ground.

ever seen his stand up act before you’ll know what to expect; lots of engagement with the audience, spontaneous material mixed with some great stuff that fits the more typical stand-up routine (i.e. it’s a ‘routine’). The latest tour wasn’t a disappointment; he opened up with some easy banter about the Portsmouth-Cardiff cup final on Saturday and then moved on to targeting members of the audience. Somehow he always seems to choose at least one person with something interesting from the front few seats of the crowd seemingly at random; this time we got the voiceover artist for ‘I’m A Ce-

lebrity Get Me Out of Here!’, which seems a little out-of-the-ordinary to me at least. O’Brien kept the crowd involved the whole time with the show and encouraged participation more than any other act I’ve seen; his whole show basically runs around the crowd, the lazy git. And unlike some comedians he’s never badgering the audience, and barely seems to skip a beat when heckled – just frantically moving from one topic to the next, throwing in some great miming to prove a point. My only excuse for four stars instead of five is that there must have been some point on his tour where the crowd was even funnier – which I’m sure will be the DVD’s feature.

Purple Wednesday Wednesday 28th May 2008


Sports Events


The team bringing Anyone For Pimms? silverware to the It’s A Polo Party Time! Union Ben Norman

It was the ideal match, an award winning VIP team, a record breaking RAG team and the most prestigious trophy in British football. This was the line up as UPSU brought the FA cup trophy to town, coinciding with the annual “Pirates Day”, with all profits going to RAG. Accompanied by its unashamedly corporate sponsors and two bodyguards, the FA cup was proudly displayed for students, staff and the general public whilst Portsmouth Football Club prepared to step onto the hallowed turf of Wembley in their first cup final in sixty nine years. This display, a collaboration between UPSU and UPEL staff, served to further cement the Union’s strong links to the local community but also added to the celebrated “Pirates Day”, which marks a third successful year of partnership between UPSU and Enable Ability, a local charity for disabled children. Twenty five volunteers ran the event, the first of two events which make up the final volunteering weekend of the year. The weekend brings to an end one of the most successful years of Volunteering in Portsmouth. Following a democratic restructure the VIP team have doubled the amount of projects, launched their first environmental projects and doubled participation before being recognised as the “Best Volunteering Team” in the country at the Higher Education Awards. The “Pirate’s Day” event is run in conjunction with Enable Ability and the addition of the FA cup helped to raise the profile of the charity whilst providing an end of year treat for staff, volunteers and children alike. Whilst the appearance of the trophy added to the VIP event it was also a fantastic opportunity for

the Union’s charitable arm, RAG, to build upon their unprecedented success. This years RAG team have raised over nine thousand pounds for their three chosen charities, Rowan’s Hospice, McMillan Cancer research and the National Association for Colitis and Crohn’s Disease. A vast amount of this total was raised through the first RAG skydive as well as speed dating events, the RAG Ramble and the recent RAG Week. Members of the public were asked for a small donation to RAG to see the trophy, thus adding to amount on the giant novelty cheque which will be presented to the charities on 5th June. This year has been an unparalleled success for volunteering and charitable work at UPSU. This success is entirely down to the skill, ingenuity and passion of the staff coupled with the energy, the endless generosity and the breathtaking enthusiasm of the volunteers. Everyone involved has earned the right to take great pride in their accomplishments as they have made themselves, and this Union, more worthy of a trophy such as the FA cup than any football team could ever manage.

This year has been the most successful in the University of Portsmouth’s Polo Club’s history. The entire club, not just the committee, has ensured that polo gained the recognition that it deserves. From taking part in the AU’s Naked Calendar to helping raise money for RAG to competing nationally in the largest university polo tournament in the UK, Polo Club has done it all! So why not settle down with a fruity glass of Pimms, the traditional drink of polo players, while we reflect upon our triumphs and victories throughout the past year? The year began with numerous socials for all our members to accompany our record number of new members. We felt it essential to educate our Freshers in the etiquette of partying like a polo pro on a shoestring budget (even we can’t afford champers every night!) Several Snakey-smiles later and the classy lasses and gents had resorted to dancing to the cheesiest tunes in Lux like complete and utter loons! When the second semester began, the socials started to take a more elegant form. With trips to Cartier and the first ever beach polo event in the UK planned for June and July, Polo Club extends its services to its members throughout the summer. With regards to our playing abil-

ity, without appearing too boastful, it really is top notch! We have won outright all three of our local tournaments this year, thrashing all of Southampton’s and Winchester’s teams and finished in very respectable Eighth and Twelfth places in the SUPA National Indoor Tournament in Bristol. One of our most notable victories at the tournament was our B Team’s chukka against Cambridge. Now, Cambridge are one of those lucky teams who have their own ponies and yard run by their university so were obvious favourites. However, pitched up against our B team, which consisted of a feisty Fresher, someone who had only been playing polo one year and the B team reserve player who had never ridden a year ago, they met their match! It was a truly thrilling chukka and the ecstasy of winning was felt throughout the whole club! The A team had several tough chukkas and really held their own against teams of much more experienced players. It was evident that we had made an impact at the tournament as even the commentator noted how we brought the “Pompey Pride” to the world of polo. Polo Club has also made a huge impact in the Union over the past year, with our club’s first ever involvement in the AU Naked Calendar being the first step of many. We thoroughly enjoyed the shoot, despite our initial anxieties and

Lauren’s worries over wearing the wrong coloured pants, which were teamed with holes in all the wrong places! We have also hit the Union media hard this year, with several articles in Pugwash News, on and on Pure Fm. At the start of the year hardly anyone I spoke to even knew what the sport of polo was, let alone that our university had it’s very own club! Hopefully that has changed, and even though we know we still have work to do regarding our club’s publicity, we feel several steps have been taken this year. Our year was topped off by our amazing victory at the AU Dinner on the 3rd May. We were all surprised to find out we had won the award for Most Improved Club, not because we thought we didn’t deserve it, but because we thought we didn’t stand a chance up against several other much larger and more established clubs. It was a night to remember for all of those in the Polo Club and yet another victory for the club to celebrate as a whole. With our committee already elected for 2008/2009, Polo Club can only go from strength to strength! I’d just like to say a huge thank you to everyone from Polo Club this year for making it the best ever. I’ll be sad to leave such an amazing club, yet I can sense an old girls versus new members chukka coming on! Roll on Cartier, tally-ho!

main teams. This means if you sign up to join you will DEFINITELY be placed into a team to play competitively. We are also introducing our own tournament in November called the ‘Southern Championships’, which we hope will bring more success to our club and be an annual tournament for all the southern universities. We can also offer you the opportunity to get trained as a Level 1 Netball coach and a C carded umpire, which would make you a great asset to our club. These also look great on a CV and gives

you the opportunity to umpire our home matches and Portsmouth league matches, for which you will be paid. Due to a member of our club (Caz Bird) gaining the Student Support Officer Sabb role next year, we are hoping to use this to our advantage and increase our fundraising and charity events, which will gain us high recognition from both the University and Portsmouth City Council. We are a very social club and are always making ourselves heard in the Union on a Wednesday! We have social dress-ups every two

weeks and always have a great time. However, if drinking isn’t your thing then we are also planning a trip to watch an England or Superleague netball match and offer other activities, including Rounders on the common. We also are one of few clubs that go on Tour to play competitively, yet we are still out every night joining in with the banter! I can honestly say that joining the Netball Club was one of the best things I have ever done and has made my Uni experience so much fun and is also a great way of keeping fit.

Jenny Leggott

Sports » Netball

Netball Netball Netball! If anyone is thinking of joining the Netball Club next year here’s a few facts that may help you make your decision.. This year has been very successful for the club - with all teams competing well on a Wednesday afternoon - especially for our Thirds, who won the SESSA Cup fighting, off stiff competition from major universities in Britain. Congratulations are also owed to our First team, who won the SESSA Bowl. We further extended our success by coming second on Tour for Netball, proving we can play hard and drink hard! We hope next year we can

continue our success by developing and expanding our club in many different ways. Next year we are entering a team into the Local league in Portsmouth, which runs on a Tuesday night; this will enable us to have frequent match play and improve our (ever growing) skills. This year we entered five teams into BUSA leagues, and we are hoping to extend this to six, the most from any University in Britain! We are also planning more intra-mural teams, which will be entered into our own league on a Thursday night, along with our six

Purple Wednesday Wednesday 28th May 2008



On the Spot

What is your name? Wayne “Digger” Gardiner Which Club or Society are you in?

gBoxing n

How old are you? 25 Where are you from? Southend


First Portsmouth curry? Akash Favourite Movie? The Warriors


What puts a smile on your face? Dan fainting in the sauna (tubby) What wipes it off?

rI’m always smiling

Most embarrassing moment? Come into the office and ask me!


Best chat up line? How you doin’? Favourite uni memory?

oTOUR 08!

How quickly can you down a pint? .Not a good drinker - probably about dtwo minutes

dressing-up theme? dFavourite Mimes o What’s your best joke?

eWhy did the baker smell? Because he ,kneaded a poo... sWhat three questions would you ask if you went on a blind date? 1) Who stitched you up? 2) Are you paying? 3) Yours or mine?


No Gotchas!

Sorry, no Gotchas for this issue the AU Exec are rubbish. Fact! ;o)

Pompey 8s: Men’s Portsmouth win 2008 Wilson Trophy and Women’s Rachael Penycate

Portsmouth’s annual lacrosse event, The Pompey 8s, opened with the men’s half of the tournament on a scorching Saturday morning, despite this the Pompey boys seemed impervious to the weather. A 4-1 win against premiership team Reading set in stone what was destined to be an impressive day for the Portsmouth A-Team. The following match versus Welsh side Sheep, Leeks and Lax B-Team saw another win for the Pompey lads, this time with a final score of 2-1, secured only in the final seconds of the game. A 3-2 loss to Southampton City was initially disappointing for Portsmouth but they were consoled by a place in the quarter finals after finishing top of their group, competing for the cup final. However, the aspirations to lift another cup were short lived when the Portsmouth side unceremoniously lost to the Purple Knights, ending the tournament with a 4-1 loss. However, the Purple Knights were able to boast a strong squad, which included current Portsmouth boys, vice captain for 2007/8 Wez Morris and John “Scottish” Kennedy and the final score does not therefore reflect the excellent level of play employed by the Portsmouth ATeam. The following players stood out through their excellent performance: Dan Black, for his impressive scoring record of 4 goals, Carl Joyce’s “wonder goal”, Mike Beatty’s always-impressive facing, and Jacob Derbyshire for his first spectacular goal of the season. Captain for 2007/8, Chris Mattison, also shone with his great goal using a d-pole and also his ability to spectacularly break an opponent’s collarbone… As for the other teams, Sheep, Leeks and Lax went on to win the cup, convincingly beating East Grinstead in the final after dominating much of the tournament as a whole, and Southampton City faced a tough match in order to secure their win of the 8s Plate. The Portsmouth B-Team did not fare as well as their seniors but Jubair Miah was praised for his great debut in goal and the improving quality of team-play from everyone involved was a pleasure to behold. With the men’s valiant efforts still fresh in the midst of the ladies’ team, Sunday’s tournament proved to be another exciting day for Portsmouth Lacrosse.
 The girls’ opening match versus The Blues saw a brave attempt from the Portsmouth Ladies, battling against a strong defense and well disciplined attackers. Unable, it seemed, to get a break from the Blues players, the match took an all too familiar pattern for the Portsmouth side, ending with a disappointing score of 12-0.

Despite an early setback, 20 minutes later, the

girls looked far more comfortable playing Welsh opponents, Sheep, Leeks and Lax. Newly appointed captain, Suzy Pope, contributed Portsmouth’s 2 goals to the ladies’ efforts and although the match ended with another defeat of 8-2, the Portsmouth ladies looked forward to their remaining fixtures.

 The Brighton Panthers weighed up as worthy opponents for the Portsmouth side, who at first, took the lead in the game, stretching the skills of the Portsmouth goalkeeper, Suzi Stithos. Never a team to take an early complication lying down, the Portsmouth ladies responded again through Suzy Pope, scoring 2 fantastic goals to put Portsmouth back in the game. After the Panthers equalized the game ended with a 2-2 draw, which despite the minor disappointment that it was not quite a win, meant that Portsmouth had achieved their best result of the year so far.

 The celebration was short lived, however, after a 7-0 defeat by Warwick University. In Portsmouth’s defense, however, Warwick is cited as one of the best university teams in the country, and a mere defeat of 7-0 is nothing to be ashamed of by any means. Special mention must go to the Portsmouth defense for this game, as without them and some amazing saves from Stithos, the score line could have been much higher.

Another defeat followed Portsmouth’s previous match, this time versus the Southampton A-Team. A 7-0 loss could not dampen the Portsmouth ladies’ spirits, on the other hand, who still ended the match with a smile.

After a quick interval of a tug of war tournament (the Portsmouth Ladies came second), it was back to the lacrosse and also Portsmouth’s final match of the day, having not made it into the quarter finals like their male counterparts the day before.

Spurred on by a true desire to show their opponents that they aren’t just good at losing, the Portsmouth ladies played a faultless game versus the Southampton B-Team, with two shots at goal narrowly missed and finally, a well deserved goal from 2007/8 captain, Laurie Charles. The girls played fantastically; they played together as though they’d been doing so for far longer than just one disappointing and fruitless season. All in all, the Portsmouth Ladies played as the stronger team, and upon the blowing of the final whistle, a triumphant and glorified Portsmouth Ladies’ team ended on a high, with their first win in over four years. 
 The Portsmouth ladies came 5th out of 7 teams- something that they could only have dreamt of earlier on in the season. The formidable Blues went on to win the tournament after a smashing game versus the Southampton A-Team, but as Portsmouth left with their treasured victory, it was obvious to all who were the real winners.

On the 10th May Portsmouth University First sailing team went to Liverpool to compete in the world class and world renowned Wilson team racing trophy. It was the first time Portsmouth have ever gone and with the current world champions there, another four previous world champions, the silver medalists in the world championships and top two ranked teams in England also in attendance, the competition was tough! Teams travelled from Ireland, Canada, United States of America and from all over England. The event consisted of 32 teams with 8 qualifying for the Semi – Finals. Day One saw us win two vs Durham University and a coach...then losing five in a row. Time to drink. The party was blazer and shirts, Portsmouth keeping the tradition of blue blazers, chinos and shoes and the girls looking lush in cocktail dresses. Whose idea it was to give sailors mash potatoes and mushy peas? It soon ended up flying across the room (we blame the

Americans)! Team Portsmouth kept their own, as always, with a large amount of rum and wine being consumed, followed up closely by very bad dancing by Guy Brearey. The night ended with a curry and Ed Chapman on a chair licking the window of the curry house...! Our first race of Day Two was vs our training partners Bath University. We maintained our un-beaten record against them. Races two and three saw us dominate. Next, Cambridge University and a race with a lot of penalty turns (four by me) saw Guy and Ed work hard, but we remained unbeaten against them. Oxford University were last, again very exciting, but we won. This left us at 7/12 wins, finishing 9th, top University team! And winners of the plate competition! A fantastic result for our first ever Wilson Trophy, showing our dominance of university teams. Big well done to the team: Bethan, Ed Chapman, Becky Hyde, Sam Brearey, Katie Restall


Seamen bitter as Pompey students beat off sailors



Issue 15 Wednesday 28.05.08

Banter Inside...

Had your photo taken with the FA cup? download it online from p/3390

The Polo Club Give us an insight into life on the farm and their competitions

On the Spot photos by Tom Worman Simon ‘Darby’ Leach Wednesday 14th May saw the second annual varsity tournament between the Royal Navy and the University of Portsmouth. Last year was a bit of an embarrassment, in that we absolutely thrashed them and made them look like little boys in sailor suits, but

under the orders of the Commodore the standard of players was raised dramatically this year. Did this make a difference? Of course not! We still won 5-2, with victories from men’s and women’s football, mixed hockey, men’s rugby and men’s cricket; volleyball and netball were the teams to lose.

The rugby game was a complete mismatch with the Navy only scoring 5 points; final score was 45-5 to the tax dodgers! Women’s football and mixed hockey were also complete walkovers ending up 7-1 and 9-1 respectively. Men’s football was a closer affair with our guys edging it by the odd goal to win 3-2.

The volleyball ended up a 0-3 loss and the netball finished at 27-24, close but not close enough! Huge congrats to all the teams involved and everyone that turned up to watch, the crowd was one of the biggest of the year! Well done guys, lets make it a hattrick next year!

We’re outta here...

Athletic Union

That’s all folks!

AU Dinner Roundup Kat King First of all, congratulations to all the teams who won awards and the people that were awarded purples, full and half colours. And of the course the exceptional Wo m e n ’ s “ n e v e r w o n a g a m e ” Lacrosse, who won the Wooden Spoon for the 3rd time … though they did break their losing streak, cheers Southampton! And who will ever forget Seth Simmons’ (Personality of the Year) outstanding acceptance speech: “Thanks” which was probably on a par with Peter

Wayne Gardiner the UPSU sports and societies administrator answers our questions

Shilton’s! Everyone scrubbed up well for the Guildhall; well done hockey for managing not to have snakebite all over their shirts - at least for the first 10 minutes anyway. And there was some extreme tanning from netball - well done. We had some dinner, LOTS of wine and then it was time for the guest speaker, professional footballer Peter Shilton. p.s no one is interested in your question Hayward! The pictures of the evening range from “lovely” to “should have stayed at home” - Rowing anyone? This was a great culmination of the sporting year. The clubs and

Club of the Year Women’s Football individuals have made it the most successful year yet! As an Athletic Union we have made it to no less than five British University Sports Association semi-finals and one final, won multiple leagues and competitions and increased participation hugely (don’t listen to Darby “‘I’m king of the sportos” when he says this is down to him). It’s down to the hard work and dedication of all of you guys… a massive thanks to you all! I’m sure next year will be even better! The official photos from Burlison can be found online at:

Second place Boxing Third place Dance Team of the Year Men’s Lacrosse Most improved Club Polo Coach of the Year Wayne Gardiner

This is the last PWs for 2007/2008 - we’ll be back in October, so keep sending in your article ideas over the summer, ‘cos we’re always looking for new content! Just e-mail us on , visit www. , or come in to the Sabb Office at the Union and have a chat with us any time!

Pugwash News Issue 15  
Pugwash News Issue 15  

Pugwash News Issue 15 - 28/05/2008