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October 15, 2011

out in all different directions. He raised his withered hand to me and with a crackled voice said, "What's the matter, Mr. Beierle, haven't you ever seen anyone dying before?" I've heard a lot of one-liners in my business, but never one like that. This man looked like death. I slid into the booth and put It's late Friday afternoon and it's pouring rain. I'm my books on the table. The waitress came over and I ordered sitting in my car looking out into a cemetery watching the, a cup of coffee. Looking at this guy I could really have used funeral burial of a ...what do I call him? He certainly wasn't something stronger. After sitting for only a few seconds he a friend, not even an acquaintance. After all, I met him just was already giving me the willies. As the waitress was bring­ once, briefly, though I wish that I had never heard of him. ing my cup of coffee over, Nicodemus went into a coughing There are certain things in life we can explain, cer­ jag. You talk about disgusting. I looked the other way and tain things that we can't and then there's others ... the things pretended to be busy opening my books and getting my pen­ we just don't want to explain. It was about a month ago cil and paper out. He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped off when I got the call. The gentleman asked me to come and his mouth. Looking at me he said, "Getting old isn't for the see him about some printing and advertising work. I recog­ weak of heart." I tell you, sitting across from him wasn't for nized his name. It was synonymous with wealth and power the weak of heart either. This man gave me the creeps. But for many years. I was surprised that he was calling a com­ hey, I was there for business and this wasn't a beauty contest. pany as small as ours. He was located past the Allentown I asked what I could do for him. He looked away from me area. He requested that we have the meeting in the evening and down into his coffee, stirred it and said, "Mr. Beierle, I around eight o'clock and gave me directions where to meet brought you down here on false pretenses." him at his favorite restaurant. I followed his directions Again there was a surprised look on my face as I which took me into a seedy part of town. The restaurant, thought, "Oh great! I came all this way for nothing." which was more of a hole in the wall than anything else, That's when things began to get weird. It was as if was easy to find. I walked in as per his instructions and this man could read my mind. Nicodemus shook his head looked for the fourth booth from the back where he said I and laughed. "Oh no, you didn't come all this way for noth­ he'd be seated. The restaurant was dimly lit. It didn't look ing. I need you to do a favor for me. And I'll pay you for like a place you would want to bring your best girl to. I your time." He went into another coughing jag. This one counted the booths as I walked down and found the gentle­ didn't last as long as the first. Again wiping off the comers man sitting in the opposite direction so I couldn't see his of his mouth he continued, "I want you to write and publish face . Since I don't want to reveal the man's last name, I'll something for me." just call him by his first name ... Nicodemus. I was at a little bit of a loss. I asked, "What do you I turned to the booth and put out my hand and with mean write something for you?" a warm smiled greeted Nicodemus. When the gentleman He said, "I've read your little newsletter and I want looked up at me I pulled my hand back. I guess the startled you to put a story in there for me." I couldn't figure out what looked on my face was pretty evident. I had seen pictures this man would want me my little rinky-dink newsletter. This of this man in the newspaper. This did not look like him. guy could have called up any newspaper he wanted. At least His face was gaunt and thin. His skin had a gray tone to it that's what I had assumed. I had assumed wrong. Ifl'd only and his eyes were sunken deep into his skull. He was com­ Continued on next page pletely bald except for a few strands of hair which reached Bi-Weekly Publication Filled With Short Stories, Edi Designed And Distributed By 0 We are not responsible for typographical err We reserve tKe right to refuse any advertisers we feel ar No material in this publication ca Our Town Collier County, P.O. Box 9679,

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n. Intervie",,© Continued known then what I know now. Nicodemus finished his coffee a 11d said, "Come, let me take you back to my apartment. I have the papers there." HOLD ON! The guy knew I was coming. Why didn't he just have the papers there with him? I looked at my watch. It was getting late. "Listen, is this going to take long because I have to get back ... " He cut my off sharply. "Mr. Beierle, I said I'd pay you for your time. Don't worry about it. 1 only live around the corner." Then he looked at me and smiled. "What's the matter, you afraid of a dying old man?" Boy, nothing like a manly challenge... right? I got up, grabbed my books, threw some change down on the counter for my coffee and headed out behil1d him. The streets were dimly lit. It was an overcast night which made for very poor visibility. A light drizzle had just begun to fall. I thought, "Oh great, on top of everything else I'm going to get soaked." We came to his apartment building. It looked like it should have been condemned. For all I knew, maybe it was. As we entered the building and headed toward the stairs 1 could see into three or four of the apartments. They looked vacant and trashed. The stairs we went up had no lighting except for a single lit bulb about three stories up. I don't know about you, but I've always listened to my instincts. Over the years I've come to trust them and usually paid the price when I ignored them. Right now my instincts were telling me that there was some­ thing wrong. Something just didn't feel riglll. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck starting to stick up. It was one of those times I ignored my instincts and paid the price. As we walked up the stairway 1 couldn't help but think that one ofthose steps were going to give way and I'd fall down into some rat infested hole screaming for my life. (The things I go through for a job. But hey, the printing and advertising business ain't no job for sissies.) Nicodemus lived on the second floor. From the looks of it I don't think there was another soul who lived in this building. At this point I didn't care. 1 really just wanted to grab my books and say, "Listen bud, see you later" and walk out of there. But the next thing I knew 1 walking into his apartment. And let me tell you, this wasn't Gracie Mansion. I couldn't figure it out. This guy at one time was Mr. Money and Power, but now... The place had a musty stale odor and I didn't look around. I wasn't interested in seeing anything other than what I had to. Nicodemus hobbled over to his desk and turned on a light. (You guessed was another dimly lit bulb. Couldn't anybody here afford at least a one hundred watter.) Without turning around he said, "Sit down, Mr Beierle. This will only take a minute." I was standing in the doorway, you know, kind of on the brink...knowing that if I took another step I was going to be commilied. To what I didn't know, but it was that threshold ... the point of no return. The next thing I knew I was walking in and closing the door behind me. Hearing it clunk when it closed and the echo it caused throughout the building didn't make me feel any more at ease. I made my way to a huge cushioned chair and sat in it. Nicodemus grabbed an envelope off the desk and walked over to a chair that was directly in front of me. He turned on a standing lamp that was alongside of it. As he sat down in the chair he laid his head back, raised his chin and let out a long deep moan. Cripes .. .I thought he was going to die right there. He moaned as if the life was being sucked right out of him ... and that's when I heard it for the first time. At first I thought maybe I was hearing noise from another apartment. It sounded like laughter or howling, but off in the distance. It was getting louder, slowing increasing as if a horde of howling people were descending upon us. "Hey Bob," I thought, "get a grip. It's just your imagina-


tion." I shook my head and took a deep bred;!~ .iL~5i i\.. :;",:';- r: out, but it was still there. Then it stopped s u da~"J~' Ie:: ' ;;:! dead silence. Nicodemus opened his eyes and looi-.e<:!!l.i n:~ . qis. stare was intense on my face and he said, "You hear it " Hey listen ... I wasn't going to ad m it :0 h~Jrili;3DY' hing. I said, ''I'm sorry, hear what?" His voice pleaded as he spoke, ""I o ... you :':-:.." :'lem too. Tell me you heard them so I know I'm not m ad ." THAT'S IT! Time to go! Manly or no! I \1 ,,6 ; :, nil~ g out of there. 1 grabbed my books and said, "Listen pal. ' n ".m' you have a real interesting story to tell...but tell it to s o rnet~.i~ ~L,,~ ." I went to get up from the armchair when his hand lashed ClU: ~r. -': grabbed my arm. His grip was intense, like a vise grip on my arm, his nails dug into my skin. He begged , "No, stay. You heard it... you heard them." His nails dug in so hard that my arm began to bleed. He was like a man drmvning and clinging onto me for life. As for me, I just wanted to get out of there. Though for a guy near death, he had a pretty strong grip and pulled me back down into the chair. His voice was filled with fear. "They're waiting for me you know... waiting for me to die. Every night they taunt me ... call to me." His hand was still on my arm holding me down. Every fiber in my body wanted to jump up and leave ... to run out of there ... drop my books ... drop everything.. .jusl get the hell out of there, get in my car and get home. But I couldn't leavc. I couldn 't move. With one ha nd sril! on my ann, he lifted his other hand, shaking as he raised it. a nd po inted to the pictures on th e \\'21 11 behind him. His ske leton- like ha nd w as covered in dark brow n spots. His skin loosely hung there. "1 once \vas a powerful man . 1 could control the destiny of people's li'ves.'· I looke d up t,} the pictures that he was pointing to. The place was so dark that I coul d barely make them out. There \,vere pictures there of a younger '\i codemus ... a man that you could tell was oozing w ith \\ eal th and po\\ er. Pic­ tures of him with official s, heads of state, even a picture of him with a president. They were hung across his wall ... strewn there ... a memory of the past... of a lifetime ago. Looking at the Nicodemus then and looking at the man who sat in front of me now, it was hard to tell that they were the same person. He pointed to those pictures and told me to look and look good though he refused to look at them. Again he spoke, with his hands still pointing in the air at the pictures, "That is my doom !" M an, this guy was ready for the looney bin. I did n' t w what he w as about. " At one time," he cont inued, ,C] could make or break a person. Peopl e came to me for pol itical po\\ e r. I was the man heiUljd rhe 5Cef'ie~ " All of a sudden he gasped for ai r and slmk hi s head ~a~k ;.;> ' "'" folds of the armchair he was sitt ing in. He eye s ro lled UP '"-:: .~ "j;,: head. Drool oozed from the corners of hi s mouth. ..;.", could hear the cries and cackles and the howls. H.: ml..·~:· eo _ , ­ death was trying to grab him, (rying to take his li fe frol" r;" there. This time the cackles and howls were louder. H,,·' _":> 5: dug into me, refusing to get me go. Right no\\', I Wl!S ., .- : ~'?'T'<":;"'", I don't think I could move if! wanted to. The sOlind, .;1 . 3C"" .es were getting louder. Again the sounds faded 00' i o : ,~' li.: :'.;-:,; . He looked at me as he was gasping for breath. "They iw")('v, :'" " '~~{lI1 , " he said. Again he looked at me and poi nted iO '.'. "'~: : Il~ on his desk. Still he refused to look. He said, "On my aes";",tilere lays what was my family." I glanced over. The Iig!llmg-W3.5 a little bet­ ter there because ofthe lamp he had lit. .\gai" l ';:(,ujd see a picture of a younger Nicodemus, and who I a5~C!mec .'. :lS :i..:' \'. ife and two children. His voice softened toa lmoS! 3 \\ hi ~ p~. I had to strain ,0

Continued a little f urther 011. Look /o r c01ltinued 2.

The 路lntervie\N@ Continued 2 to hear what he was saying. "They were my true treasure," he said. "They were my gold and my silver. And yet I treated them like trash. My wife," he said, he called her name, "How I mistreated her. I was unfaithful to her. The times, the countless times. Why didn't I see it?" He sobbed but there were no tears in his eyes. "How she put up with me for as long as she did, I don't know." I didn't want to ask, but I couldn't help myself. I found the words coming out of my mouth. "What happened to her?" I whispered. He looked at me, stared into my eyes, but it was like he was staring right through me. "She killed herself. She put up with the abuse longer than I think anyone could, then she shot herself. Shortly after that my son left. Left never to come back son ... son." "And your daughter?" I asked. Without looking at me, he eyes closed, he mourned, "I let drugs come in for kickbacks, for bribes. I didn't know they would touch her. The very thing I used for power ended up ruining her life." "Where is she now?" I asked. Putting his head back, rolling his eyes up, he moaned, "She's lost...lost." And again he let out a sigh ...more of a moan ... or a how!".I don't know. But those sounds started again ...the laughing ...the cackling ...the howling ...and this time they were close. They were real close. And they weren't fading away. The chair he was sitting in began to vibrate then shake, lightly at first. It actually began to bounce up and down off the floor. The lights flickered on and off. Frantically I grabbed at his hand and tired to pull it off my arm, but I couldn't lift even one of his fingers. Then both lights zapped out. The room was dark. Nicodemus sat there moaning. And then they came. Images ...swirling images ...ghoulish creatures and demons filled the room swirling, hovering over this man like vultures waiting for their prey to die. Their screams and cackles were ear shattering. I pushed my free hand up against my ear and shoved my head into the side ofthe armchair trying to muffle the sounds. I closed my eyes, fearing for my life. I squeezed my eyes tight, but I couldn't muffle out the flashing of lights and the sounds. Then silence. I don't know how long I sat there before I had the courage to move my hand or open my eyes. I looked at Nicodemus sitting there, his mouth open, his eyes wide, his skull-like features staring off into space. No he wasn't dead. I could tell by his wheezing breath that he was still alive. Slowly he brought his head down and looked at me. He was talking almost incoherently. I tried to make out what he was saying. He said something about scandal...losing everything ...wanting to tell...or maybe he said wanting to warn ...but no one else would come. No one else would listen. They all thought him mad. Right now I didn't know who was madder, him or me. This whole situation was insane. He reached up with his free hand and handed me an envelope and told me to follow the directions in it. I said, "Yeah, sure, I'll write it, I'll do it." I'd say anything to get out ofthere. The pressure of his hand intensified on my arm as he grabbed harder. He said, "Promise!" I said, "Yeah, I promise." He looked at me. No, he looked into me, past my eyes and into my very soul. And with his eyes afire, his voice strong, he demanded, "Your word!" And that's when I did it. I gave him my word word. With that, it was like a trigger. His hand released. His body that had been so tense just gave way. His eyes closed and

he sighed. I didn't know if he was dead or alive. I just grabbed my books and got out of there. I don't remember going down the stairs or even going out the door. I just headed for my car, threw my stuff in the front seat, started it up and sped out of there. The next thing I remember, I was driving on deserted Route 33. It was raining hard. My windshield wipers and defrosters were going, but it was so foggy out I could hardly see. Was it real? Was I imagining it? Did this really happen? I kept telling myself it had to be my imagination .. Things like this just don't happen. This was the real world, not some cheap horror movie. I was staring down at the envelope that he had handed me. I didn't want to open it, I just wanted to throw it out. Yeah, throw it out. It seemed so easy. Just pick it up and throw it out the window. The man was going to be dead any day now. He wouldn't know. But I had given my word. Well, the hell with my word. It was my sanity I was worried about. That's just what I was going to do. I was going to pick up the envelope, roll down my window and throw it out. It was then and there, right there, I made up my mind that the envelope was going out the window. I looked in my rear view mirror. I didn't see any vehicles coming. I started to slow down and reach over for the envelope. All of a sudden the car lights went out. It was as if somebody had turned off my car...just pulled the battery right out and shut her down. My steering locked. I went to hit the brakes. It happened so fast. And all of a sudden there was a bright light in the car ...a bright flash. The light was intense with a burning heat. I squinted and tried to cover my eyes and look in my rear view mirror to see what was coming. And there in the reflection of my mirror I saw him ... Nicodemus's gaunt face looking at me ...his hand pointing at me and his voice ..."Your word ..." The light and heat got so intense I screamed. I slammed on my brakes and the car skidded to a stop crossways on Route 33. Frantically I reached for the ignition key trying to start the car. One time ...two times ...three times ...she caught. I got the car going and pulled it off to the side of the road and sat there terrified. My world was once again dark. I had to peel my left hand off the steering wheel. I started up the car again and headed down the road. First exit I pulled off and stopped at the first bar I came to. I was oblivious to anybody else in there. I walked in and sat at the bar. The bartender came over. I must have looked a wreck. "Give me a Bacardi and Coke quick!" He looked at me and laughed. He said, "What's the matter with you, bud? Sit in the sun tanning booth too long?" I couldn't figure out what he was talking about. Then I looked in the mirror at my reflection. My face was red, beet red, so where my hands, as if I'd sat out in the sun too long if I'd been burnt. He brought the drink back to me and I finished it in one gulp, threw three bucks on the counter and got out. When I arrived home my wife and the kids were already asleep. I walked down to the shop, threw the envelope on my desk, sat down in my chair and stared at it. I don't know how long I was looking at it before I finally had the courage to open it. But I was committed now. There was no way out. Slowly I reached for the envelope, cut open the back and pulled out the paper. The only thing it said on it was, "Come to my funeral." How the hell was I suppose to write something about "Come to my funeral."? I closed me eyes and laid my head on the desk. The next thing I remember was Dorothy waking me up. I told her all that had happened and showed her the note. I don't

Continued a little further on. Look for continued 3.


Submitted by a Faithful Our Town Reader A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women. At the height of the party, the host said, "[ have a 10 foot man­ eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in." The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool! Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its rear! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind ofJudo instructor. The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising heck. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everyone was just staring at him in disbelief. Finally the host says, "Well, Leroy, I reckon lowe you a million dollars." "No that's okay. [don't want it," answered Leroy. The host said, "Come on, [ insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?" Again Leroy said no. Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Leroy, then what do you want?" Leroy said, "I want the name of the guy who pushed me in the poo!!"

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Submitted by a Faithful Our Town Reader To All My Drinking Friends, A new way to avoid an .08 alcohol issue while driving: I went out with some friends last night and tied one on. Knowing that I was wasted, 1 did something that I have never done before. I took a bus home. I arrived home safe and warm, which seemed really surprising as I have never driven a bus before.


Intervie",,© Continued 3

know if she believed me or not. I don't know if I believed it myself. But when she went out to the car to take the kids to school, she came back in placed something on my desk ...the tape that was in the tape player in the car last night. It had melted. Well, for the next couple of nights I didn't really sleep well, but as the days when by I started to put the whole incident out of my mind. Besides, what did I have to worry about? I wasn't going to know when Nicodemus died. I mean, what was he going to do? Call me up and say hey, I'm dead! I was beginning to feel a little more confident, a little more relaxed. I figured well, maybe that was the end of it. Maybe it would be the last I would ever hear of Nicodemus. Yeah, maybe! It was Wednesday night when they called. It was some law office who had instructions to notify me of the death and burial time of Nicodemus. The drive down was torturous. It was the last placed I wanted to go. But I guess I didn't have any say in the matter. I had given my word. And from the looks of it, I may as well have signed a contract in blood. So down I drove. Another wet, miserable day. I pulled up to the cemetery. It was small and from the looks of it, very old. It was adjacent to a church with a wrought iron fence surrounding old tombstones. So here I sit in my car trying to muster the courage to get out. I looked through the wrought iron gates, listening to the raindrops hitting the top of the roof. I could make out through the rain that there were just two people standing by what I assumed was Nicodemus's grave. I didn't have an umbrella, I didn't even have a raincoat. I got out of the car just as the rain started to intensify and made my way through the cemetery. The minister had already begun to give his last words as town men lowered the casket into the ground by ropes. There was nobody there dignitaries big wheeler dealers ...nobody ...just the minister and me ...two grave diggers ...and a woman. I assumed maybe it was his daughter. She had been crying. The rain came down harder, followed by some thunder and lightning. Then it was as if the sky opened up and the rain came down in buckets causing the ropes to slip out of the grave diggers hands. The casket slid and crashed the rest of the way into the hole. The men ran for shelter as the storm intensified. The minister went over, put his arm around the woman and they headed back to the church. Me ...1just stood there and looked down at the casket and wondered ...had he made peace? Had the demons really taken his soul? A huge burial stone lay at the top of his grave covered in black canvas. You couldn't see through it. The wind picked up as the storm intensified. Lightning and thunder crashed around me. For some reason it didn't bother me. Then a gust of wind came so strong that it lifted the canvas off his tombstone. I could see there was something chiseled on it but i couldn't make it out until a flash oflightning came and lit up the area. There, written upon his tombstone, no name date ...just these words, "What does a man gain to win the world, but lose his soul." It's been a couple of days now since Nicodemus's funeral and I'm here with pen and paper finishing this up. Was it real? Were there demons? Or was it just the overactive imagination of an old dying man so strong that it made me see the things that he really feared. As I said in the beginning, there are some things in this world that we just don't want to explain. As for me ...all I have to show for it is a melted cassette that makes me ask some questions. Bob Beierle, Creative Insight

THE INTERVIEW© Copyright 1994 Robert Beierle Reprinted from Issue #16· October 15, 1994 All rights reserved. No part of this story may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the author.

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Colors bursting into flame Foliage aglow Ghosts and Goblins everywhere Up and down the streets Pumpkins hold a candle In a window On a porch Raking Leaves Picking apples Cornstalks here and there A scarecrow in a distant field Irs that Halloween time of year! By Dottie Smith-Newfoundland,

Jlt~ i)~/~ Submitted

Carpet/Upholstery Cleaning Handyman & Homewatch Services

Bill Me Mann (239) 248-3148 Licensed & Insured





by a Faithful "Our Town" Reader

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen. "It only took the doctor about two seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!" The mother turned red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl, and would never compromise her reputation by being with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they'd show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!"

Blohdesto theluh Submitted by a Faithful "Our Town" Reader

At a press conference, the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to ~ the Moon. The Redheads speak up, "That's been done before, we're going to go to Mars:' The Blondes speak up, "That's nothing, we're going to be the first people to go to the Sun:' One of the reporters says, "Don't you idiots know that you'll burn up?" The Blondes say, "NO WE WON'T. WE'RE GOING TO GO AT NIGHT!"


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We'd like to welcome Josh & Katie from Lackawanna County, PA to the "Our Town" family. If you're interested in finding out more about starting an "Our Town" franchise call us. It is a fantastic opportunity. There is so much room for growth in this business, it's amazing. Yeah, you need to have some skills, and this isn't one of those pretend business opportunities like you see on television where the guy is walking from his million dollar home to his mailbox, opens up his mailbox and starts pulling out handfuls of cash. This is a business that requires dedication, medication (just kidding), hard work, perseverance and a can-do attitude. If interested give us a call. Don't kick yourself in the hind side after finding out that someone else in your area has already taken advantage of this great business opportunity ...

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And now ... a word from our lawyers: The opinions stated in "Our Town" by the franchisees might not always be the opinions of the franchisor and vice versa ... hey, what can Isay, Ihave a laid back lawyer who speaks in real people language, not lawyerese. Also, no part of "Our Town" can be reproduced in any manner, shape or form, or any format whatsoever, without the written consent of either the franchisee or the franchisor. It really depends on who is writing what. If you have any questions just give us a call. Of course, that's during normal business hours. And naturally, we're not responsible for typographical errors, whoopses, incorrect dates, and keep in mind that dales and events are subject to cnange without notice. We hope you enjoy "Our Town". Pass it along, let your friends know about it, and let the businesses that are advertising in it know you appreciate them helping the local non-profit organizations in your area. Bob Beierle, Creative Insight

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AUi"",. [.. Ch-i ItA,



660 9th Street N. Naples, FL (U9) 263-2544

Naples Alliance for Children is a private, volunteer organization that advocates for the rights, needs, care, safety and education of infants, children, youthcand families. We identify gaps in children and family services and facilitate the filling of those gaps through networking with community organizations and agencies. This ad sponsored by the great advertisers you see in "Our Town"


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7>~alft!,~~is~ Mary Mcl.aughlirr- Jeff "Spanky" Anderson. Shane Fountain. Barbara Klepadlo • Shelly Shaffer. Allen & Connie Edwards Any church, synagogue or individual who would like to be included in our prayer list please mail information to: Our Town Collier County, PO Box 9679, Naples, FL 34101

(239) 263-4656 • P.O. Box 9883 Naples, FL 34101

Find us on Facebook! The League of Women Voters of Collier County is a nonpartisan political organization that encourages informed and active participation in government, works to increase the understanding of major public policy issues, and influences public policy through education and advocacy. Our goal is to empower citizens to shape better communities worldwide. This ad sponsored by the great advertisers you see in "Our Town"

Three Enuelopes Submitted by a Faithful "Our Town" Reader

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A bright, young man had just been hired as the new CEO of a large, high tech firm. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and handed envelopes.

him three

"Open these if you run up against a problem think you can handle;' he said.

numbered you don't

Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a nosedive and he was really catching a lot of heat from the board. At wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor:' The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the board, the press, and Wall Street responded positively, sales picked up, stock prices rose and the problem was soon behind him. About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious problems getting new products to market. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO wasted no time in opening the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize:' This he did, and again the company quickly rebounded. After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. This simple message said, "Prepare three envelopes .. :'


Sean McGuireNavy, NAWS China Lake, California Sgt. Brittany M. Browns, US Army Reserve, Afghanistan/Iraq Allen Hill - US Army, Serving in Afghanistan Holly Craft - US Army, Germany Kimberly Ellefsen - 31B - Military Police, Ft. Leonard Wood, MO Andrew Pateros - U.S. Marines, Hawaii Michael Johnson - U.S. Air Force, Virginia Isaac Vasquez HM3 Jessica N. Burrows, MD Serving at Bethesda Naval Hospital PFC Abby Demarco, Serving at Fort Jackson South Carolina Bryan Miller, Senior Airman, Serving in !rag/Afghanistan Mike Kirby, USMC 2nd Tour Iraq Richard Hooper, Jr. US Army AlC Eric J. O'Neill- Nellis AFB, Nevada FSl John Randy Fullwood, Jr., USCG Cape May, NJ FSI Sean Joseph Fullwood, USCG Cape May, NJ SPC James Wasylyk Patrick WElders - USAF Specialist 4th Class Joshua J. Smyth Patriot Missle Operator - Kuwait If you would like us to include your son or daughter, husband or wife, or other loved one on our Armed Forces prayer list, please let us know.

ATTENTION FREE ADVERTISING! FOR VOLUNTEER NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATIONS We want to help you by advertising your events, fund raisers, etc. in "Our Town" for FREE! However, we need to receive all information by mail, email or fax by the 15th of the previous month for the issue that is distributed on the 1st of the month and by the 1st of the month for the issue that comes out on the 15th. This is our only requirement. Please DON'T call us three days or two days or one day before we print and ask us to put something into "Our Town". We can't do it. This deadline is absolutely necessary in order to get "Our Town" out on time. So please help us to help you by getting that info in as early as possible. You can mail your information with a contact number to: "Our Town Collier County", P.O. Box 9679, Naples, FL 34101. If you have any questions give us a call at: (239) 331-7926. You can also email us at


Japanese master chefs prepare and serve succulent dinners with an individual flair at your hibachi table and the Sushi Bar. Reservations are recommended for the hibachi tables open from 5:30 till 1.0:00 pm Sunday through Thursday and 5:30 till 1.1 pm Friday and Saturday. Club Sushi opens from 5:30 till 1.0:00 pm Sunday through Thursday and 5:30 till 11 pm Friday and Saturday.





Winter brings to mind The white of falling snow All the trees without their leaves Just icicles aglow. ~

Springtime conjures up --" Rainbows in the skies ~ Of pink and blue and lavender And lovely butterflies. Summertime is shades of green Everywhere you look Sunshine streaming through the waters Of a lazy babbling brook. Autumn is the time Mother Nature's waiting for With red and orange, yellow and gold From the mountains to the shore.

Harold's Place is an outside chickee bar is in a lush tropical setting among the palms overlooking a beautiful pool. serving the very best REALGrouper, Burgers and cocktails available. Tel: 261-4332 • 2555 Tamiami Trail N.

Then once again the trees Will shed their colorful clothes And bare themselves once more Waiting for the winter snows. By Dottie Smith-Newfoundland

OUR TOWN DISTRIBUTORS We're sorry, but this is not a complete listing of all of the "Our Town" distributors. We apologize to those businesses that did not appear on our list since we acquired them after our print deadline. We're picking up new distributors daily and are very excited about everyone's enthusiasm about the magazine. Keep a watchful eye to the distribution list and if you have a favorite store that you frequent and would like to see "Our Town" there give us a call at 239-331-7926. R&P Property Management 265 Airport Road South Randy's Fishmarket - 10395 Tamiami Trail, N Naples Red Brick Pizza - 6355 Naples Blvd., Naples Red's Pizzeria 2795 - Davis Blvd., Naples Rice's Barber Shop 2009 Tamiami Trail North Rick's Discount Cigarettes & Cigars- 8793 Tamiami Trail RiverwalkAt Tin City - 1200 Fifth Ave., S. Naples Rosedale Brick Oven Pizza1427 Pine Ridge Road #105 Salon Soho - 2069 Pine Ridge Rd., Naples Sandra's Pet Salon -10823 N. Tamiami Trail Sawgrass Grill 11865 Collier Blvd. Sign of the Times - 23t 7 Davis Blvd., Naples Silhouette's Salon - 2440 Vanderb~ Beach Rd. #210, Naples Skillets - 5461 Airport Road, N Naples Smoothie King - 2500 Tamiami Trail, Naples Spanky's Speakeasy - 1550 Airport-Pulling Road, N Naples Sportclips Haircuts -1410 Pine Ridge, Naples Straight from New York Bagels & Coffee - Bakery 4550 Executive Dr., Naples Sugar Palm Bakery - 5417 Airport Pulling Rd., Naples Sunshine Ace Hardware - 11673 Collier Blvd., Naples Sunshine Pharmacy- 80 Wilson Blvd., S. Naples SunSplash Market 850 Neapolitan Way Susie's Too - 4884 Davis Blvd., Naples SweeTreats - 7935 Airport Rd., N. Naples Taco Ardiente -1048 Pine Ridge Road, Naples Tall Tales Bait and Tackle 841 Vanderbilt Beach Rd. Taste of Chicago - 2366 Immokalee Rd., Naples Taste of Europe - 10265 Tamiami Trail, N. 6, Naples Town Markel - 7770 Perserve Lane, Naples The Brick Coffee & Bar 531 5th Avenue S The Travel Concierge - 482 6th Street, S Naples Tony's C Place, LLC, 842 Neapolitan Way Trail Cafe & Grill-12820 Tamiami Trail, N Naples Trans 4 Motions Hair Salon 8795 Tamiami Trail E Tropical Smoothie - 570 Tamiami Trail, N Naples Tropical Smoothie Cafe - 5016 Airport Rd., Naples Vinnie's Barber Shop - 2387.Tamiami Trail East Waterfalls Auto Spa - 2630 Pine Ridge, Naples Wildside Cafe - 5026 Airport Rd., Naples Wizzard Lake Nursery -1717 Pine Ridge Rd., Naples Woodside Bowl- 8525 Radio Road, Naples World Bakery & Cafeteria - 4075 Pine Ridge Rd, Naples Wynns Family Market, Naples .. Yogurbella - 9118 Strada Place #8165, Naples Zookies Sports Pub & Grill- 7740 Preserve Lane, Naples

Greyhound Bus Lines - 2669 Davis Blvd., Naples Gina's Care 11 tile Park -1100 Comrrerdal Blvd., #102 Naples Going Postal - 4888 Davis Blvd., Naples Golden Bakery -11689 Collier Blvd., Naples Golden Gate Pharmacy -11669 Collier Blvd., Naples Goldies Breakfast & Lunch - Taylor Street, Napes The Good Life - 2355 Vanderbi~ Beach Rd. Ste 176 ,Naples Good Times Diner - Airport Pulling Rd., Naples Golden Gate Barber & Salon - 11985 Collier Blvd., Naples Grouper & Chips - 338 9th St., N Naples Grumpy's Ale House - 8935 Tamiami Trl, N Naples Haircuts by Joe Cool 4105 Tamiami Trail Hair Palace of Naples 12652 E. Tamiami Trail HD Hair Design of Naples 7935 Airport Rd Hoots Breakfast & Lunch -1267 Tamiami Trail, E Naples Hue Nails & Spa- 13585 Tamiami Trail, #18 N Naples Island Bike - 4326 Thomasson Drive, Naples Jana's Little Prague - 289 9th St. South, Naples Jenny Nicks Tavern -11397 Tamiami Trail, E Naples Joey D's Italian Restaurant, Naples King Lake Hair Design - 4824 Davis Blvd., Naples King's Lounge 4864 Davis Blvd., Naples The KoomySpj Bar & Gril-SOYI.I1son Blvd. Ste.12, Naples La Rosa Pizzeria - 7785 Davis Blvd., Naples Lady of Brow & Skin Care - 9853 Tarniami Trail N, 107 Larry's Lunch Box - 2650Airport Puling Rd., Naples The Lazy Parrot - 1100 6th Ave. Suite 6, S. Naples Leonis Pizzeria - 318 Tamiami Trail, N Naples Look-a-Likes 340 North Tamiami Trail Look-a-Likes 6050 Collier Blvd. Lulu B's Grill- 8795 Tamiami Trail, N. Naples M&M's Cafe -1200 5th Ave. Suite 122, S. Naples M&M Dry Cleaners - 1054 Pine Ridge Road, Naples Mail Station -1460 Golden Gate Pkway Ste 10, Naples Mango's Cuban Cafe 1826 Trade Center Way Mangrove Outfitters 4111 East Tamiami Trail Marias Hair Care and Beauty Salon - 2795 Davis Blvd., Naples Marias Restaurant -12712 Tamiami Trail East Marcos Cuban Cafe - 4110 EnterpriseAve.,Naples Mercede's Hair Studio-13510TamiamiTrail, #3 N Naples Miller's Alehouse - 6320 Hollywood Blvd., Naples Mongellos Restaurant and Lounge . - 4221 'famiami Trail, E Naples _ Moravala's New York Style Pizza-1836AAportRoad,S. Naples Mr Joseph's Hair Surgeons - 1266Airpolt Pullllg Rd., Naples . Mulligans Sports Grille 2041 Tamiami Trail N, Naples Nails by Irene 862 Neapolitan Way, Naples Nana's Diner -12285 Collier Blvd., Naples Naples Flat Bread & Yl.lnery - 6434 Naples Blvd., Naples Naples Nail & Salon 12612 Tamiami Trail E ,Naples Naples Pier - Naples Naples Pizza - 7087 Radio Road, Naples Neapolitan Car Wash 6265 Naples Blvd., Naples The Neapolitan Gourmet - 5415 Airport Rd., Naples Noodles Italian Cafe and Sushi Bar -Misson Square Plaza 1585 Pine Ridge, Naples Nutri Shop - 2355 Vanderbilt Beach Rd. Ste 148, Naples Oakes Farms - 2205 Davis Blvd., Naples Old Naples General Store - 1100 6th Avenue, S Naples Old World Market - 2800 Davis Blvd, Naples Olympia Dining - 2800 Davis Blvd., Naples Pastrami Dan's - 586 9th St, N Naples Palrics Breakfast, Lunch and More - 1485 Mission Square, Naples Pepper's Deli & Butcher- 4165 Corporate Sq Naples Peppi's Pizzeria 4111 Tamiami Trail North Perkins Restaurant - 3585 Pine Ridge Road, Naples Perkins Restaurant - 4335 Tamiami Trail, E Naples Pet Supermarket - 2408 Tamiami Trail E, Naples Pinch路a-Penny Pool 11677 Collier Blvd. Planet Smoothie - 2400 Immokalee Road, Naples Planet Smoothie - 6420 Naples Blvd, Naples Porky's Last Stand - 2560 39th St., SW Naples Port 0 Call Rentals & Charters 550 Port 0 Call Portofino Pizza - 7550 Mission Hills Dr. #318 Naples The Pub Naples - 9118 Strada Place #8160, Naples

NAPLES Abbots Frozen Custard - 491 5th Avenue, S Naples Alia's Restaurant - 3400 Radio Rd., Naples Alice Sweetwaters - 1996 Airport Rd, S Naples Almost Wild Natural Pet Foods and Supplies - 50 Wilson Blvd. Ste. 6, S Naples Angels Nails 874 Neapolitan Way Alvino's Pizza - 8793 Tamiami Trail, E Naples American Legion - 2296 Tamiami Trail E, Naples Anthony's Trattoria of Naples - 7935 N Airport Rd., Naples Arial Pizza - 1450 Airport Road, Naples Aureilo's Pizzeria- 590 Tamiami Trail, N Naples Auto Works- 3027 Davis Blvd., Naples Bamz Restaurant - 2464 Tamiami Trail E, Naples Bayfront Inn- 1221 5th Ave., S Naples Beach Deli - 2364 Tamiami Trail E, Naples Beacon Bowl- 5400 Tamiami Trail, N Naples Before & After Salon & Spa - 5327 North Airport Rd. Black Eyed Pig - 5307 Shirley Street, Naples Blue Fish - 5425 Airport Rd., Naples Blueberry's - 3350 Tamiani Trail, N Naples Body Branding Tattoo Emporium- 1650 Airport Pulling Rd. Bottom's Up Liquor & Wine- 881 Vanderbilt Beach Rd., Brewing Daily - 2795 Davis British Market - 2355 Vanderb~ Beach Rd Sune 168 Brooklyn's Best Pizza - 2493 Trade Center Way, Naples Brookside Barber Shop - 2379 Davis Blvd., Naples Bruninas Pizza & Pasta - 4330 Thomasson Drive, Naples Bubble's Laundry - 99th Ave & Tamiami Trail, N Naples Cabana - 795 Bayfront PI. Naples Cafe at Bayfront - 469 Bayfront PI. Naples Cafe Figaro -13510 Tamiami Trail, #7 N Naples Caffe Portofino - 8595 Collier Blvd., Naples Calypso Car Wash - 1472 Golden Gate Pkwy. Naples Capri Equipment Center -11281 Tamiami Trail, E Naples Captains Cabin - 3380 Mercantile Blvd., Naples Carsmetics - 2121 Pine Ridge Road, Naples Castaways Backwater Cafe' - 2025 Davis Blvd. Naples Cedi's Copy Express - 5959 Pine Ridge Road, Naples Chrissy's at Bayfront- Naples Chrissy B's - 4940 Tamiami Trail, Naples Cilantro Tomales - 10823 Tamiami Trail, N. Naples CJ's Tavern Pizza & More - 1100 6th Ave., S. Naples Cleaners - 8575 Collier Blvd., Naples Clock Family Restaurants - 670 9th St., N Naples Coney Island Restaurant - 9853 N. Tamiami Trail, Naples Coopers Farm Market - 285 9th St., S. Naples Cosmos Cafe & Pizzeria - 536 Tamiami Trail, N.Naples Country House East Restaurant - 2206 Davis Country House Restaurant Prime Outlets- 6060 Collier Blvd., Cracklin' Jack's - 9080 Collier Blvd., Naples Crispers Salads - Magnoila Square Naples Chrissy's at Bay Front -469 Bay Front, Naples Crissys B's - Tanglewood Plaza 4910 Tamiami Trail N, Christine Bar & Rest. 4943 Rattlesnake Hammock Rd. Cruiser's Malt Shop & Grill 9853 Tamiami Trail, #109 N Custom Aquarium Studios -3415 Radio Road, Naples Dabco Pools Vanderbilt & Airport Rd. Direct Home Realty LLC - 1100 6th Ave. #10, S. Naples Duncan Donuts - 2700 Immokalee Road, Naples E's Country Store - Golden Gate Blvd., E. Naples Emack Bolio's - 2355 Vanderbilt Bch Road, Naples Ericas Cafe - 2374 Immokalee Road, Naples Erins Island Restaurant - 6190 Collier Blvd., Naples The Estates Salon 21 - Golden Gate Blvd., E. Naples European Food Market - 5437 Airport Rd., Naples Falafel Grill 2075 - Pine Ridge Rd Naples Femandez The Bull- 1201 Piper Blvd. #10, Naples Fine Fixins Restaurant - 2323 Davis Blvd., Naples Foxboro Sports Bar - 4420 Thomasson Drive, Naples Fred's Diner - 2700 Immokalee Road, Naples Freddie Rebel's - 5310 Shirley Street, Naples French Bread Oven- 8793 Tamiami Trail, #105-1 E Naples Frisco's Restaurant - 1460 Golden Gate Pkwy Fuel Recreation Free - 10823 Tamiami Trail N, Naples Fujiyama Steak & Seafood House-2555 Tamiami Trail, N

MARCO ISLAND Breakfast Plus - Marco Island Town Center Cafe DeMarco - 244 Palm Street Cathy 0' Clark's- 591 S. Collier Blvd. CJ's on the Bay - 740 N. Collier Blvd, Coral Isle Go~Center (5m North of M.I.) 951 Collier Blvd. Club Marco 686 Bald Eagle Dr. Davids Italian Cafe & Deli - 688 Bald Eagle Dr. Happy Nails 916 N. Collier Blvd., Marco Island Hoot's - 563 Elkcam Circle East Florida Paint - 711 Bald Eagle Dr. Island Bike Shop - 1095 Bald Eagle Dr. Islander Coffee Shop - 695 Bald Eagle Dr.. Kathleen's Hair Studio - 707 Bald Eagle Dr. Kretchs Restaurant - 527 Bald Eagle Dr. Marco Island Barber Shop 914 N. Collier, Nacho Mama's - 599 S. Collier Blvd. #201 Paradise Seafood - 721 Bald Eagle Dr. Porky's Last Stand - 701 Bald Eagle Dr. Reflection Liquors - 971 N. Collier Blvd. Rookie's Bar & Grill - 599 S. Collier Blvd. #105 Salon Marco - 1095 Bald Eagle Dr. Teapot Cafe and Catering Company- 695 Bald Eagle Dr. Vic's Island Pizza 910 N. Collier Blvd.

ISLES OF CAPRI Capri Fish House - 203 Capri Blvd. Capri Cafe - 292 Capri Blvd. Island Market & Catering - 322 Capri Pelican Bend Inc.- 219 Capri Blvd.



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Dancing by night over bogs, brakes and water meadows, the flamelike luminance called ignis fatuus, or "foolish fire;' once was common throughout northern Europe. Although the learned would claim that the flames were caused by marsh gases, countryfolk knew better, and tales of mishaps made them wary. The strange light was given myriad names - "will-o'<the-wisp" "jack-o-Iantern" "fox fire'; "elf light': In Wales, the flames were called "corpse candles" and appeared just at the level of a raised human hand when a ghost walked invisible, they were thought to presage the death of those who saw them. Germans said the lights were the ghosts of those who had stolen land. For finns, such a light was a liekkio, or "flaming one'; and was believed to be the ghost of a child who had been buried in the forest. In any case, the dancing flames were dangers to the living. Wayfarers who mistook them for the lights of a far off shelter sometimes strayed into thickets where the ground grew shifty and sucked them down into the depths of bogs. Those who followed ghost lights, people said, were led to join the company of death .


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Here's truly heartwarming story about the bond between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time. A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough;' more or less, adopted her as kind of a project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age...The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew, building the new house next door:' "Oh my goodness gracious;' said the teller, "And will you be working on the house again this week, too?" The little girl replied, "I will, if those jerks at Lowe's ever deliver the &%$#@'" sheet rock ..:' Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?

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A Scary Halloween Story Submitted

by a Faithful Our Town Reader

A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears: BUMP. .. BUMP. .. BUMP. .. Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP. .. BUMP. .. BUMP. ..

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~~Y1 The "Our Town" website directory is free for any business that advertises in "Our Town" on a regular basis. We hope you, the reader, use it. Also, if you are an advertiser in "Our Town" and we do not have your website listed, please pick up the phone and holler and scream at the "Our Town" Editor and say .. "whatsamattawithyoul" And he will instantaneously add your website to our directory. Remember, it's free for all businesses that advertise in "Our Town': 1-800-BUNKBED


Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him. FASTER ... FASTER ... BUMP. .. BUMP. .. BUMP. ... He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping. clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP. .. clappity-BUMP. .. on his heels, as the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... and, (hopefully you're ready for this!) The coffin stops. (Alright, alright I know ... but it did make you laugh! )



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Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarze nagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "1 think I'll go as Beethoven:'

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The Purfipine ~abje Submitted by a Faithful "Our Town" Reader

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves, but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions. After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.

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Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive. The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.


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If your dog was a teacher you would learn things like: '.'When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. ,> Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. ,',Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy. '"Take naps. '.'Stretch before rising. '* Run, romp and play daily. '"Thrive on attention and let people touch you. " Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. '-,On warm days, stop to lie on your back in the grass. ,> On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree. '"When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. ,;,Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Del's 24 Hour Foods 2802 Thomasson Dr, Naples (239) 250-7754

'* Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough. '.> Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not. ,;,If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

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'* When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

ONLY REASON Submitted by a Faithful "Our Town" Reader

I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"


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Ann M. Hills, President #117136 Licensed Mortgage Broker/Originator

David M. Tedone, Vice President #188461


Licensed Mortgage Broker/Originator


3823 Tamiami Trail East #511 (239) 963-9260 Naples, FL 34112 (239) 793-1109 Fax Approved Business Lie. #391074

It. I HAVE TO ASK MY MUMMY! - Submitted

Chrissy's at Bayfront

by a Faithful Our Town Reader

"A Touch of Elegance" serving the finest

Breakfast & lunch




A.READ~ - SUbl11ittedby


a Faitliful 0

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Since 1991


Chrissy B's Featuring 2 for $25.00


including glass of house wine 12 'Comforting Dishes'

Lunch llam to 2:30-7 days Dinner Men-Sat 5:00-close Sunday Mornings 8am-2:30


AN'D POP! _Submitted

Outback Steakhouse Plaza 4910 Tamiami Trail N.

by a Faithful Our Town Reader


Leon Williams

JtwromOur Churches ...

Seventh Day Adventist Church of Naples 5050 Davis Blvd., Naples, FL. 34104-5310 (239) 261-5930. Service Saturday Praises Worship 9:15-9:45am; Sabbath School Bible Study 9:45-10:45am; and Worship Service Ilam. Pastor Philip Vasseur.

Messiah Lutheran Church - 5800 Golden Gate Pkwy, Naples, FL 34116. (239) 455-2520. Pastor JR Pagan. Services: Sunday- 9am "Traditional"; 12:30 "Bilingual". Monday- Bible Studay 7-8pm (in English & Spanish). Wednesday: 7:30-8:30pm Family Mid-Week Service with Adult, Youth & Children Ministry.

Philadelphia Baptist Church of Naples 3170 Barrett Ave NAPLES, FL. (239)793-7251 [please contact for service schedule] Harvest Sunday Annual Conference. October 12th thru 19th *Featuring a special guest from the Bahamas!=

First Congregational Church of Naples - 6225 Autumn Oaks Lane, Naples, FL 34119. 239514-3500 Rev. Dr. Les C. Wicker Sunday Worship: 8:00am (Abbreviated Service) !0:00am Traditional Service (Child Care)

Grace Lutheran Church LCMS 860 Banyan Blvd NAPLES, FL. (239)261-7421 Times: [Summer] Sunday 9:00am; [Winter] Sunday 8:00 & 1O:30am

North Naples United Methodist Church 6000 Goodlette Rd., N. Naples, FL 34!O9. 239-5937600. Sunday Worship Times: 8:30am, 9:30am (Contemporary) & I 1:00am. Sunday School for all ages: 9:30am & II :OOam. Wednesday Fellowship Dinners 5:00-6: 15pm. Visit our web-

First United Methodist Church 388 IstAve S NAPLES, Sunday 10: 15am; Sunday School 9:00am


First Assembly Ministries 3805 The Lord's Way NAPLES, FL. (239)774-1165 Worship: Sunday 8:30am, I 1:00am & 6:00pm Spanish Service: Wednesday 7:00pm & Sunday 11:OOam Wednesday Family Night 7:00pm

North Naples Baptist Church 1811 Oakes Blvd. Naples, FI 34119. (239)597-2201. Sunday Worship Times: Sunday Bible Fellowship Classes for all ages - 8:45, Worship 10:00, Evening Church 6:00. Wednesday Activities - Bible Study 6:30, Team Kids 6: 15, CREW (Youth Group) 6:15. Visit our website at Hixon Helton. Living Waters Community


FL. (239)262-1033


Service Time:

Seagate Baptist Church and Christian School 239-261-0122 (Independent Baptist) 1010 Whippoorwill Lane, Naples FL 34105. Sunday Bible Study - 10 am, Sunday Worship Service - 11 am, Sunday Evening Service - 7 prn, Wednesday Prayer Meeting & Kids - 7:30 pm (Child Care provided). Pastor - Dr. James adorn

27911 Vermont Street, Bonita Springs, FL 34135. www.


Cornerstone United Methodist Church 8200 Immokalee Rd. Naples, FL 34119. (Just east of Gulf Coast High School). Early Service - 8:15 am, Praise Time - 9:15 am, Second Service - lOam. Pastor Rev Roy Terry. 354-9160

Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Greater Naples 6340 Napa Woods Way (near 1-75 and Pine Ridge Rd) NAPLES, FL. (239)455-6553 Service Times: Sunday 9:00am Forum; Worship Service !0:30am (child care provided); Sunday School !0:30am

Vanderbilt Presbyterian Church 1225 Piper Blvd. Naples, FL. Corner of Airport-Pulling and Immokalee Rds. 239-597-5410. Please contact for Worship & Sunday School, Wed. family night & Bible study times.

Shepherd of the Glades Lutheran Church 6020 Rattlesnake-Hammock Rd NAPLES, FL. (239)775- 0696 Fax: (239)793-2465 Service Times: [Off- Season] Sunday 9:30am (please contact for season service schedule) E-mail: (Linda)

Lely Presbyterian Church 110 St. Andrews Blvd. (East Naples) 239-774-6151. Fax 239-732-5548. Rev. Stephan L. Nagy, Minister. Worship Sundays 10: 15 am, Adult Sunday School 9 am. Karl Cole, Director of Music Ministries.

Islamic Center day 1:30pm

East ment son), 9:00

Centerpoint Community Church 6950 Golden Gate Pkwy NA PLES, FL. (239)261-7486 vice Times: Sun 8:30,9:45 & II am Pastor James Nite "bringing truth to life"

of Naples 2520 Davis Blvd NAPLES,

FL. (239)732-7136

Prayer Service: Fri-


Crossroads Community Church of Naples EFCA 1055 Pine Ridge (239)514-3620 Worship: Sunday 1O:30am. Sunday School 9:15am


Centro Christiano EI Shaddai Christian Center 110 St.Andrews Blvd. (East Naples) 239537-3392. Fax - 239-352-1755. Spanish/American Bilingual Service - Sunday at 3 pm. Bible Study - Thursday at 7:30 pm. Pastor Pablo Juarez. Email

Faith Lutheran Church LCMS 4150 Goodlette Rd N. NAPLES, FL. (239)434-5811 Services: Saturday- 5:00pm; Sunday 8:00am & II :OOam Traditional; 9:15am Praise Faith Apostolic Church 3196 County Barn Rd NAPLES, II :OOam; Sunday School lO:OOam

FL. (239)774-7703

Naples Community Church 849 7th Avenue South NAPLES, service Sunday at lOam Pastor Kirt Anderson

Service: Sunday

FL. (239)213-1325


Our Lady of Guadalupe Catholic Church 207 9th St S IMMOKALEE, FL. (239)657-2666 Spanish Services: Man 7:00pm; Tues 6:30pm; Wed 7:00pm; Thur 8:00pm; Fri 7:00pm; Sat 7:00pm; Sun 12: 15pm; Creole Services: Tues 7:00pm; Sun 10: 15am English Service: Sun 9:00am Father Piobattaglia Emmanuel Lutheran Church ELCA 777 Morning Line Dr NAPLES, FL. (239)261-0894 [Please contact for service schedule] sotg; www.,; St. Finbarr Chapel 13250 Tamiami Trl E NAPLES, FL. Service Times: Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday 9:00am; Saturday 4:30pm: Sunday I0:00am. Religious education available. Salute to Veterans Dinner sponsored by KFC November II tho 5:00pm social; 6:00pm dinner. Father Jean-Marie Fritz Ligonde Living Word Family Church 10910 Immokalee Road NAPLES, FL. (239)348-7400 Times: Wednesday 7:00pm; Sunday 9:30am & II :OOam Pastor Paul Foslien

Naples United Methodist Church 2701 Airport Road, S. Naples (next to the GovernCenter). 239-774-4696. Service Times: 8:009:30 and 11:00 am Sundays (during sea6:00 pm Wednesdays. Sunday School and Adult Bible Study - 9:30 am. Office Hours - 3:00 Mon-Thurs.



New Life Apostolic Church Meeting at Golden Gate Community Center. 470 I Golden Gate Parkway, Naples FL 34116, 239-643-LIFE (5433). Pastor Paul L. Getter. Service Times: Sunday at 10 am - Life Lessons & Children's Ministry - Classes for all Ages. Sunday at II am - New Life Outpouring, Healings - Miracles & a Great Outpouring of God's Spirit! Wednesdays at 7:30 pm - Deeper Life Class for Adults, Faith Factor for Kids, R.E.A.L. LifeYouth. "New Life - More Than Just a Church!" Marco Lutheran Church 525 North Collier Blvd Marco Island, FL 34145. 239-394-0332. worship opportunities include Sunday Service at 9:30am with education hour at 10:45. Wednesdays at 7 pm Contemporary Service. "The Current" is an alternative worship opportunity of relaxed music and prayer with a contemporary sound. "We invite you to set sail with a new song to the Savior, Jesus." - Pastor Kevin Koenig Our Savior Lutheran Church & Preschool 1955 Curling Avenue, Naples FL., 34109, 239597-4091, Pastor Gregory Schmidt. Sunday Services from the Sunday after Easter thru the Last Sunday in December: One worship service at 9:00am; coffee hour at 10: 15am; Sunday School & Bible Study at 10:30am. From the I st Sunday in January thru Easter: Two worship services at 8:30am and II :OOam; coffee hour 9:45am; Sunday School & Bible Study 1O:00am; During Advent & Lent: Wednesday Night Services at 6:30pm with a Super prior to service at 5:00pm. Please check our online calendar at or visit our website at Our Mission Statement: "To know Christ and to make Christ known."

St. Monica's Episcopal Church 7070 Immokalee Rd NAPLES, FL. (239)591-4550 [Please contact for service schedule] October Pumpkin Patch: Sunday October 4th thru Saturday October 31 st Rev. Kathryn SchiUreff

New Life Community Church of God 590 West Elkcam Circle, Marco Island (near Veterans Park) 239-394-3469 - Director Greg Barrett. Children and Youth Director, Bo & Julie Booth. Adult Sunday School - 9 AM. Sunday Service - 10 AM. (Nursery Available) Sunday Kidz Life Childrens Church - 10 AM. Sunday Youth Group - 6 PM (at the Parsonage) Craft Classes - Tues I to 3:30 PM. Kidz Life Childrens Program - Wed at 6:30 PM. Adult Bible Study - Wed at 6:30 pm. Ladies Bible Study - Thurs at 10 AM.

Tree of Life Church 2132 Shadow lawn Dr NAPLES, FL. (239)530-2200 Food Pantry: 9am to 1O:30am 2nd and 4th Sunday of every month

Mayflower Congregational United Church of Christ 2900 County Barn Boad, Naples FL 34112.239-775-0055. Sunday Worship: 8:45 am and 10:00 am. www.mayflowernaples.ccm

United Church of Marco Island 320 N. Barfield Dr MARCO ISLAND, FL. (239)394-6572 Service: Sun 10 am


Fax: (239)530-2203;

Bethel Assembly of God Spanish Church 1225 Main St W IMMOKALEE, FL. (239)6578302 Service Times: Thursday 7:30pm; Sunday 4:00pm; Sunday School: 10- 11am; Rev. Jose Rincon First Baptist Church of the Everglades 416 School Dr E EVERGLADES CITY, FL. (239)6953871 Worship Service: Sunday II :OOam Bible Study: Sunday 6:00pm Pastor Clifton Tomes

The United Church of Christ at the Lighthouse Meeting at 2320 Rivers Road (check web site for directions) Naples, FL 34120.239-776-2888. Contemporary Worship and Kidztirne Sundays at II am.

Other Organizations ...


Hope for Haiti 1042 6th Ave N NAPLES, FL. "Our mission is to improve the quality of life for Haitian people. Particularly the children through education, nutrition and health care."

Unity Faith Missionary Baptist Church 1620 39th St SW NAPLES, FL. (239)353-6604 Service Times: Sunday 8:00 & II :OOam; Wednesday family night & Bible study 6:00pm; Pastor

Catholic Charities of Collier County: Family Resource Center 4209 Tamiami Trl NAPLES, FL. (239)793-0059 or (239)774-0523 Pantry Hours: Monday thru Friday 9:00am1:00pm *Requirements: fill out application "Limit: once per month

Unity Church 2825 Imperial Pkwy NAPLES, Pastor Phil Schlaefer

FL. (239)947-3100






Residential & Commercial Service!

Drainfields Septic Tanks Grease Traps Drainffeld Inspections for Banks Mortgage Companies Maintenance Contracts Family Owned & Operated! FREE ESTIMATES & ADVICE! All inquires Welcome

A l1Iampirr'a miaguiarn Submitted by a Faithful "Our Town"Reader

Possessed of every weapon of stealth and evil, vampires were formidably skilled at changing shape. They did not, as is sometimes believed, change into bats. This metamorphosis was a literary invention, added to vampire tales after the discovery of New World bats that fed on blood. But to move undetected from place to place, vampires could dissolve to dust or mist, sail through the air as owls and run along the ground as wolves or cats. The vampires of Japan particularly favored the last transformation. These night roamers, said to frequent the courts of early Japanese princes, presented the relatively innocent appearance of court concubines at most times and, in this guise, drained the lifeblood of their lovers. If startled or pursued, however, they dwindled in size, dropped their kimonos and emerged from the silken folds as large, swift cats, marked as vampires by the fact that they had two tails.

Submitted by afaithful

"Our Town" reader

The wolf man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks. "Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts. "Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely. "Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? Huh?" At that moment, the wolf man started growling, and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage. Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself, "Well, I guess it's that time of the month:'


Call 239-331-7926 Take Advantage of the Our Town's new website! All OU~ !iJi.'lQ>WD. advertisers with websites will have their website linked to ours. It's just another way of us helping your business grow!

For more information call Rick at 239路331路7926

The Other Side Submitted by a Faithful "Our Town"Reader

A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, 1 am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side:' Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know .." "You don't know? You're a Christian man, and don't know what's on the other side?" The doctor was holding the handle of the door ... On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog?" He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. 1 know little of what is on the other side of death, but 1 do know one thing ... 1 know my Master is there and that is enough:'

Project Empathy is an idea developed in 1969 by relationship expert Michael Yergin. Noting that people tend to isolate themselves and find it difficult to share with others what was on their minds when they encounter problems, Michael saw the need for people to talk with each other to "vent" whatever troubles them and get it off their chest. No matter how strong we appear to be, sometimes we al/ need positive affirmation to make us feel better about ourselves. If you are having a great day, you can make your day even better by helping brighten someone else's day with a positive affirmation, some kinds words, or simply being a good listener.

Perhaps it's three in the morning; you can't sleep and you want to talk to someone. On the other hand, maybe you realize that giving of yourself is the only true way to acquire happiness. Project Empathy is made up of all volunteers and members who just want to make this world a better, happier place to live in. The age group runs the gamut of young to old, eighteen to eighty. There are no academic, financial, or socioeconomic requirements to join. Project Empathy is non-political, non-secular, non-bureaucratic, and non-judgmental. Simply call me at 312-952- LOVE (5683) to learn more. Join NOW! This ad sponsored by the great advertisers you see in "Our Town"

Now Thts ts Drunk Submitted by a Faithful Our Town Reader

A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says NO -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from the party, the police pull him over. They check his license and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house around the block. The police tell the party animal to stay put, they'll be right back and they run around the corner to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. Smith is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him, and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been there all day. The police still have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage. She opens the door. There sitting in the garage is the police car, with all its lights still flashing. True story; told by the driver at his first AA meeting.

R: First Data," I

HOLIPAY BAZAAR Features Gifts for Everyone on Your List! Saturday, November 5, 2011 9:00am - 1:OOpm Handmade Teddy Bears Artisan Crafts Jewelry Sets & Individual Pieces Delicious Baked Goods and Much More! All proceeds go to Charity!

Vanderbilt Presbyterian Church Fellowship Hall 1225 Piper Blvd, North Naples, FL For more info: 597-5410 This ad sponsored by all the great advertisers you see in "Our Town"

• kna1:fendent


Business Owners


The Durbin Amendment that went into effect this month can save you money.

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-_~n_ ---CESSING


Serving Southwest Florida Merchants since 1995 All Rights Reserved"All trademarks, service marks ~d'lrade names referenced in this material are the property of their respective owners. First batalndepend~FDIS) is a registered ISO/MSP 0tWells Fargo Bank, N.A., Walnut Creek, CA. American Expre~s separate approval. FDIS Consultants is an independent agent for FDIS.

Kookerq 5a,y 5ulletin September 2011 'Lunch & Learn' Lecture Series Set


by a Faithful "Our Town" Reader

Few witches ascribed their powers of flight merely to the brooms, distaffs or farm implements that served as their nighttime steeds. The magical energy that transported them came partly from an ointment, thickly smeared over their bodies, that incorporated the most potent herbs in witchcraft: monkshood, henbane, deadly nightshade, mandrake and hemlock. Blended with other extracts in a base of lard or, it was whispered, the fat of unbaptized children, the ingredients combined in a magical synergy so powerful that witches, by their own accounts, were spirited across entire countries in the twinkling of an eye.

Bring your curiosity, and your appetite, to our 2nd annual Lunch & Learn Lecture Series. October 19- Alberto Chavez leads us "From Galapagos to Florida, a Journey through Ecotourism" November 2- Author & Marine Biologist Dr. Ellen Prager will discus "Sex, Drugs & Sea Slime- The Ocean's Oddest Creatures & Why They Matter" She will sell & sign her new book Rsvp to 239-417-63IOx401. Free to members, $8 for non-members Take a Natures Art Class with Us October 18-20, 8:30-11:30am- Join well known Naples photographer & instructor Gordon Campbell for a 3-part "Nature Photography Made Easy" class. He offers a seperate Photo Editing & Digital Processing for Nature Photographers Workshop on 10121. November 6, 1-4pm- Get your holiday shopping done in one afternoon. Party of All Parties Dozens of home party & gift vendors will sell their beautiful items & also take orders for later delivery. In addition to shopping, enjoy Free wine, soft drinks, desserts (provided by Cup Crazed, Marco Marriot & Costco), 5-minute massages, eyecare & skincare treatments (courtesy of Rodan & Fields), party shopping tote (courtesy of The Arlington), and bucket raffle for more that $1000 worth of items. Admission: $8/per person. $15/touple Tuesdays & Thursdays (9-11am)- Guided Kayak Tours. Pre-registration required. November 11- 3rd Annual Family & Friends of the Estuary Exhibit This ad sponsored by all the great advertisers you see in "Our Town"



~ \~~-; If Sales Are Down ... You Need to Advertise More!

The More You Advertise ••• The More You Increase Sales!~ You Need To Advertise In a Publication


That Gets Read From Cover to Cover




~ ~~



: Jblul 'Bucher

Aries (21 March-20 April) Life is good for you this week. Enjoy it! Everyone will be nice to you and traffic will even be light. Taurus (21 April-21 May) Your wife will have a headache all week. Sorry dude. Go fishin!! Gemini (22 May-21 June) Your crazy neighbor is growing something weird in their back yard. They never take care of the house or lawn but all of a sudden care about this hidden garden. What do you think they're growing??!! Cancer (22 June-22 July) You just looked at your kids sports schedule for the rest of the season. Looks like you might be lucky enough to get a day to yourself maybe in January. Leo (23 July-22 August) You'll have huge fight with your boss and decide to start your own business. Then realize that that sucks way worse and go back to your job. Virgo (23 August-21 September) You have started developing ear and nose hair. EEEWWW!I! Go buy a trimmer and use it everyday! Libra (22 September-22 October) Your insane boss has delegated an undoable project to you that they think is a great idea. No, drinking at work is not an option. Scorpio (23 October-21 November) You set up a date with some random person you met online. Unfortunately for you they used a picture from 20 years and a 100 pound ago. Sagittarius (22 November-21 December) Your cat doesn't like the new food you got. It will pee on carpeting all over your house until you switch it back. Capricorn (22 December-20 January) This month will be hard with the spouse. Just try to remember why you love them. They'll go back to normal once things at work calm down. Aquarius (21 January-19 February) Do you realize that you wasted 15 hours of your life this week playing video games? Get a life. Pisces (20 February-20 March) Your in laws are coming for a visit! Won't that be fun??!!


4th Dozen

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Del's 24 Hour Foods 2802 Thomasson Dr, Naples (239) 250-7754

Attitude Submitted by a Faithful "Our Town" Reader

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. "Well;' she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today:' So she did and she had a wonderful day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror, and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. "Hmm," she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today:' So she did and she had a grand day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. "Well;' she said, "Today I am going to wear my hair in a pony tail:' So she did, and she had a fun, fun day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror, and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. "YAY!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!" Attitude is everything.

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U-Haul Rentals Available You'll find it all at Fibber McGee's Closet, a Full Service Self Storage Facility and U-Haul Dealer conveniently located on Airport Road.

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Ranging in Size From 4x6 to 20x36 Feet.

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9-J'tJH1 ;All qhi

qhtJuls & qtJ6lins




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Peace Early Learning Center

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A LOCAL COMMUNITY MAGAZINE OUR TOWN is a franchise owned & operated




15, 2009

OUR TOWN is a bi-weekly publication which donates a portion of its magazine for FREE advertising to volunteer non-profit organizations to help promote their upcoming events, The magazine is made possible with the support of all the great advertisers and distributors of OUR TOWN. OUR TOWN is hand delivered to local businesses for distribution in Collier County, Florida. Letters to the editor - e-mail For advertising inquiries call 239- 331-7926. Free advertising for volunteer non-profit organizations, churches, synagogues, fire companies, auxiliary organizations, Rotary, Lions Clubs, just to name a few. E-mail event information to Call for information and details to see if your organization qualifies. Publishers reserve the right to refuse any or all advertisers at any time for any reason. Advertisers must notify the publisher within two business days if a mistake appears in order to receive credit. Liability for errors shall not exceed the cost of the space in which the error or omission occurred. No credit given for unsubstantial or immaterial errors. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including, but not limited to, electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of OUR TOWN.

C>U-RTC>~ PO Box 9679, Naples, FL 34101 Phone 239-331-7926

Peace Early Learning Center is Collier County's newest licensed child care facility. The center, which offers child care for infants 6 weeks old through pre-kindergarten, is a state licensed facility staffed by certified early childhood professionals and is a Voluntary Pre-Kindergarten (VPK) provider. Peace Early Learning Center uses Creative Curriculum, which has been approved as a high-quality learning curriculum by Florida's Office of Early Learning. Each day, children are offered a stimulating environment with an array of developmentally appropriate learning experiences tailored to each age group. This new 17,000 square ft child care facility was established as a ministry of Peace Lutheran Church in response to the expressed need of families in northeastern Collier County for child care and high-quality early learning services close to home. Its mission is to provide a nurturing and safe environment for the development of children and a support to their families. Peace Early Learning Center is located on the campus of Peace Lutheran Church at 9850 Immokalee Road in Naples, just east of 951/ Collier Blvd. To register your child or for more information on programs or volunteer opportunities, visit or contact us at 239-354-9140. This ad sponsored by all the great advertisers you see in "Our Town"


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Do You Love Our Town? Does Our Town Make You Laugh?? Has Our Town Helped Your Church Or Charity Promote An Event For Free??? Please remember that the only reason we can continue to produce, print and give Our Town away for free is that we are sponsored by our advertisers. Frankly, they pay our GIGANTIC print bills. So, if you need a local service, are going out to dinner or whatever you're' doing ... think of the Our Town advertisers first. They are great local businesses trying to survive in a bad economy. Look through this issue for great services and places to go. Don't forget about our phone directory in the back of this issue for quick reference. Thanks for the love!! PS - If you are looking for a great place to advertise in a publication that everyone reads ... Why isn't your business already here?

Submitted by a Faithful "Our Town" Reader

There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad ...The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally. The first mate responded, it immediately!"

"Aye, aye, sir, I'll see to

The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear:' He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, you change with Schultz:' THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Someone may come along and promise "Change;' but don't count on things smelling any better.

Talking About Haircuts Submitted

by a Faithful "Our Town" Reader

Women's version: Woman 2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute! Woman 1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking? Woman 2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think. Woman 1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck. Woman 2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line. Woman 1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier. Men's version:

Call 239-331-7926

Man 2: Haircut? Man 1: Yeah.

DO YOU HAVE A SECOND HOME IN COLLIER COUNTY BUT LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE? If you do then why not take advantage of an "Our Town" subscription ... And here's why ...

"Our Town" always has a great listing of advertisers that offer many services that could be vital to your peace of mind when you're trying to deal with issues at your home away from home. Need a plumber? Look in "Our Town" Electrician Contractor ... Mason Roofer ... Whatever! Give yourself some peace of mind and know that your house will be in good hands. Always have a great list of businesses that are willing to serve you. You can get that with an "Our Town" subscription.


239-331-7926 ~

American ~e.artH AsSOCIatIOn楼

Learn and Lives"

28441 Bonita Crossing Blvd. Bonita Springs, FL (239) 498-9288

"Building healthier lives free of cardiovascular diseases and stroke:' This ad sponsored by the great advertisers you see in "Our Town"



AAA Powder Coating


Advance Chauffeur Service Any Town Tree Bill McMann (Carpet Cleaning) Captain Jimbo Hail.

239-404-5129 239-580-TREE 239-248-3148 239-571-0629

Cecil's Copy Express


Clock Family Restaurants


Crissy's at Bayfront Restaurant


Custom Aquarium Studios

239-21 0-FISH(34 74)

Del's Dixie Drainfields DLS Enterprises ayard Hadware, In

239-250-7754 455-3795/393-4943 239-273-23590 239-403-8188路 293-431-6530

Fibber McGee's Closet, Inc


First Data Independant Sales Consultants Fred Astaire Dance Studio

239-566-8992 239-592-7737

Fujiyama Steak and Seafood House


Gina's Cafe


Greyhound Bus Service . Island Bike Shop


Hex James Adduci King's Lake Hair Design Nana's Diner Naples Battery




Naples Computers Gura

394-84001732-8400 239-352-3221 239-793-1313 .239-455-0234 239-643-4588 239-213-3058

North East South West Movers .239-775-NESW.239-206-7978

Owning, a business and not advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you're doing, but no one else does. Call 239-331-7926

Oakes Farms Patrics Phil Pressure Cleaning Precise Polygraph, Inc R&P Property Managemen SJW Handyman Services, LLC Southern Sanitation

239-732-0144 239-304-9754 239-774-2396 1-888-NO-DOUBT 239-643-3353 239-6457801 352-2600/389-7867

Sunstate Mortgage Services, Inc


Susie's Too Sweet Liberty

239-774-1148 239-793-3525

Tony's C Place World Changers

239-331-8056 239-825-0145


Jacob's well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied with his journey, sat thus on the well: and it was about the sixth hour. There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water: Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink. (For his disciples were gone away unto the city to buy meat.) Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans. Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knew est the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldst have asked of him and he would

have given thee living water. The woman saith unto him, Sir, thou hast nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from whence then hast thou that living water? Art thou greater than our father Jacob, which gave us the well, and drank thereof himself, and his children, and his cattle? Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. St. John 4: 6-14


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State of Florida recommends having your septic tank pumped every two years .


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