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PublicHouse

12. fashion

1

(the car boot issue)


PUBLIC


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he fashion industry is a cliquey and malicious creature who fucks other cliquey and malicious creatures to create grotesque, inbred trolls who coif champagne and airkiss while wearing expensive designer clothes that most human beings could never possibly afford... and we so wanna be a part of it!

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BEBE ZEVA 8


"June 18th, 2025: no matter how much coffee I drink, I can't get my HEART to 'turn on."

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BEBE

It's like the best intellectual work I can do these days is reading, but even that depends on luck and c i r c u m s t a n c e if my standard anticipates more than just recognizing words on a page without letting them aerate and flourish as sensible concepts. I had a breakdown yesterday while composing my resume as if that isn't uncharacteristic enough -- and realized that I haven't written PublicHouseMag.com creatively in years. some@readpublichouse my verthing happened... bal chamber went out of business, no longer accepts new clients, has yet to liq-


ZEVA

uidate its inventory of the words I tend to use over and over again. I n e e d

more than a software update to revive my creative machine.

I need more than oil to grease the gears. I need to replace this entire computer.

but I can't.

because replacing the computer

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means replacing me, and at that point what good is an upgraded system when @readpublichouse

the experiences that motivated the upgrade in the

first place... are gone?


@bebezeva

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Bebe Zeva is an actress and fashion blogger from Las Vegas

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PublicHouseMag.com @readpublichouse

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In 2011 Tao Lin and Megan Boyle follow the 17-year-old fashion blogger around Las Vegas for a night and film it on a MacBook. @readpublichouse The film was called BEBE ZEVA

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Planking, viral marketing, street GIFs, Odd Future videos, Sad K age 14, she’s pursed micro-fame, alt-culture satire blog Hipster R fashion blogger with an arsenal


t style peacocks, freshly-minted Keanu and hipster puppies. Since , debuting as a T-shirt model for Runoff, then transitioning into a of neo-hippie Lolita looks.

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PublicHouseMag.com @readpublichouse

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W

ho’s your favourite fashion blogger? My favourite fashion blogger is Olivia Lopez of lustforlife.com. She's a Californian known for her luxurious black locks, oversize sunglasses, and bohemian energy. Why do you love that blog? I love Olivia's blog because her photographs are breathtaking. It's as if her outfits are each individual works of art. Be it a romantic lace ensemble or a denim and leather rock-chic getup, her attire is exceptional. Much of my inspiration stems from her calculated colour schemes and brilliant pattern pairings. She's truly a West Coast style goddess! What’s one tip you would give aspiring fashionistas? The best advice I can give aspiring fashionistas is to experiment with new styles in an effort to build security and elevated esteem. It's important to listen to feedback from friends, but it's even more important to establish a stylistic self-image that satisfies the self, not solely the expectations of a community. Start small and work up; eventually one's fashion presence will be well-known and influential. The best outfit of them all is confidence, so get comfortable! What’s one piece of clothing every girl should have in her closet? Every girl should have a fitted black jacket. A blazer, a peacoat, a leather jacket — anything works. Black is slimming, timeless, and extremely practical. Girls need one apparel piece that compliments every outfit. How would you describe your personal fashion style? My personal fashion style is an amalgam of contemporary styles with a vintage interpretation. My favourite themes are free-spirited flower child, neo-Gothic teen witch, and sophisticated beatnik. I like to put an ironic spin on most of my ensembles, like a flapper with an Elizabethan twist.

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Who is your celebrity style icon? My celebrity style icons include Mary-Kate Olsen, for her garage-grunge fashion revival, and Pixie Geldof for her androgynous-chic personal brand.

@readpublichouse

What made you start your own blog? I've had multiple blogs over the years, but I decided to invest my time in a fashion-specific blog a few months ago. I wanted to express the inspiration behind my outfits so that people could better connect with my aesthetic vision. It's still a newborn blog, but I hope that it will eventually attract more readers who can relate with my style and influence.

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Now at 27-years-old Bebe is still a fashion icon and a DJ. Her latest style is described as RODEO RAVE WEAR and you can buy everything from her @readpublichouse instagram at her DEPOP account.

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depop.com/fatemorgana

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PublicHouseMag.com @readpublichouse

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Summer Fashion F

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D

ummer is the best and the worst. It's the best because girls have an inborn ability to look good. When guys see girls they think 'thank you lord Jesus'. But then there's the other side of Summer. One second later there's a bunch of Essex boys with their shirts opened, super tight jeans and their bare feet loafers. It's pretty gross.

U

M

M

I

E

S

You Must Have A Collar.

Men above 22 should always have a collared shirt. Polos are great for your 20s or short sleeve pattern shirts above 30. If you must wear a t-shirt let it be a shirt from a gift shop somewhere relatively unknown, like Lake Sakakawea. No bands, no TV shows, no breweries, and no fucking superman - what, are you alYou rarely see a girl in sweatpants, socks lergic to getting laid? and sandals above the 20-degree mark. Girls have it under control. But boys... Now, shoes. oh boy. Boys need to learn the rules or find a girl that can enforce them under a The ONLY acceptable summer shoes no-sex-threat, if necessary. are: Chuck Taylors. - But not black - who No Shorts To Work. are you, Chucky’s dad? White always, please. There is a wide variety of lightweight trousers out there, Uniqlo is great for “What about the Chuck Taylors II?” you this otherwise go to Kitsune Maison and might ask. The answer is... no. We teststrip them off. If you ever see your direc- ed them and we came to the conclusion tor's legs exposed, go to his office, put that the new Chucks make you look like all of his shit in a bin bag and take over. an intern in your own company. Vans Era and Vans high tops - But again, If the temperature is above 27 degrees not all black; never. all. black. then shorts are allowed -except for cargo shorts and homophobic shorts. Hom- Rod Lavers - for boys. ophobic shorts are long shorts that go Stan Smiths - for girls. below the knees. If you are wearing shorts below the knees it's because you Contrary to popular belief, these 2 are don’t want people to think you are gay, not bisexuals, don't mix them up. and that is not very nice, is it?

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50 Shades Of Pink. The great thing about pink is that it’s ridiculously easy to combine with other light colours except one: pink. I know you are a blooming millennial and you think that dressing all pink will make Trump magically disappear from the planet, instead, It will magically turn you into a marshmallow. Low Socks. If you are wearing shorts and low-cut trainers you will probably feel obliged to wear these and with good reason, you must wear them or your feet will stink, that is just the way the body works. The trick here is don’t tell anyone. Before you head out you must practise taking your shoes and low socks off at the same time, leaving the sock inside the shoe. This is in case you need to jump into a pool or a volcano. Practise and practise hard because the second your wife sees you wearing nothing but no-show socks she is going to leave you and take everything you own. Alternatively, you can put some foot powder on but that means you can never take your shoes off. If the pool is filled with topless chicks you must jump in with your shoes on, don’t let anyone see your white powdery fairy feet. Flip Flops. Flip flops are a no-go zone. Not at the beach, not at the park, not when washing the car, not even when running through fields of wheat. The only time they are maybe acceptable is if you are staying at a hostel and you can physically see the athlete’s foot fungus in the shower beckoning you in.

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Eventhen I prefer buying a £2 cream from boots afterwards, problem solved. Follow these easy steps and you too could get laid this summer. I’ve had sex once so I must be doing something right. -Corrochio

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5 THINGS THAT BOTHER ME ABOUT FASHION 1. OLD GUYS WITH STYLE Look at this dude. He probably gets more pussy than you and any of your snatch-chasing pals. The reason why is simple: Girls love father figures, but also want a guy who’s fashionable. He’s got both down. Combine that with the fact that he’s got about a hundred cool stories about how he spent his youth getting wasted (like you) but has now gotten his shit together (unlike you), and what you’re left with is a Viagra-fueled cock waiting to explode in some 18-year-old vag. 2. YOUNG SKINNY GUYS I’m getting old (but not old enough to be in the category above). My metabolism isn’t what it used to be. How do I keep up with people like this? That shirt and those glasses would look stupid on anyone over 150 pounds, and I so wanna wear that shirt and those glasses! 3. KARLA Karla has a blog where she takes pictures of herself wearing clothes. That’s it, nothing more to it. It’s not revolutionary, but it is pretty damn sexy. Karla gives me butterflies and she works the shit out of polka dots and zebra prints. I hate her because she makes me realize my girlfriend is ugly and fails at fashion. Sure, Karla looked better before she cut her hair, but the bottom line is Karla is stylish and lovely and perfect, and my girlfriend is stupid. Stupid and ugly!

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4. OVERLY KOOKY GIRLS Where would we go on a date? What books do you read? Do you even have a TV? Oh, you spend all day sitting in cafes drinking weird types of coffee that I’ve never even heard of while you quote lines from Pink Flamingos. I really wanna fuck you, but I don’t see an opening. 5. KIDS WHO TRY TOO HARD

None of your friends look like you, so you probably feel like an “outsider,” right? And I’m guessing your parents think that fashion is a cool hobby for little Lina — or “Fabo-lina” as your Tumblr followers know you. Thing is, by the time you’re 18, you’ll have sucked off enough old guys with style to write a book on it. This angers me because it’ll probably be a bestseller and that will make you a more accomplished writer than me. Fuck you.

-DONALD CRUNK

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5 THINGS THAT I LOVE ABOUT FASHION

Y

ou get to go to parties and hang out with girls who are so hung up on how fat they MIGHT look that they fuck anyone with a business card and a pulse just to validate their beauty.

Here’s some other stuff about fashion that doesn’t suck:

1. GIRLS WHO LOOK LIKE BOYS Confusion plays a big part in lust. When things are straightforward and easy, boredom soon sets in. The “Will they? Won’t they?” game is the reason why guys get boners, chase girls, and spend most of our lives trying to impress them. Cute girls who look like they might be cute boys are great because it’s like flirting with a taboo — the taboo that a hetro male might like to take it up the ass. See, fashion can be fun!

2. ALBINOS What the shit — THIS fuckin’ guy’s a model?! He’s a fucking albino, how does that work?! Oh, now I get it: He’s an albino — that’s his selling point. This is actually pretty awesome. I want one of these as my best friend so I can take him to parties and make girls think I’m interesting. I bet he has an accent and a cool name like Oliver or Oswald.

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3. BLACK GAYS The two worst words in the human language are “fabulous” and “fierce.” People that constantly use them to praise things that are fashionable are the scum of the Earth. But for some reason, being told that your ensemble is not only fierce and fabulous, but it also deserves a two finger-snap and a stereotypical flick of the neck is a pretty good feeling. It’s like having queer fairy-dust sprinkled on you by an urban pixie. 4. WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE LITTLE GIRLS DRESSED LIKE ADULTS This kinda relates back to that confusion thing I mentioned earlier because a lot of these little fashionistas don’t look like they’ve encountered many penises in their lives, but without sounding all pedophilic and shit, that’s exactly what adds to the excitement. It’s the thrill of chasing a blowjob and not getting arrested after the act. 5. UGLY AND / OR FAT PEOPLE WHO ARE STYLIN’ There are a million fashion blogs on the Internet and there’s probably about 10 million more people in the world who have absolutely no fucking right to be on them. It’s fun to look at them and point and laugh. It makes you feel better about yourself. Then every so often you come across someone who could have been just another lardass waiting in line at McDonald’s but instead they are decked out so well that you feel like going home and changing, trying just a little bit harder. And that my friends, is what fashion is all about. -DONALD CRUNK

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MANUFRACTURE® Is A Brutal DIY Experience Where Only The Strong Survive ONLY THE WEAK CALL IT KNITTING, SEWING, OR WREATH DESIGN…

F

ollow the screaming death metal to MANUFRACTURE® (formerly Hobbyist’s Habitat), a place to churn out sick gear with deadly equipment and reasonably-priced materials. To enlist in our project boot camps, just sign our assumption-of-risk waiver and tell us how to reach your next of kin.

Check out our upcoming builds: Door Halo: Two-week sessions; 10:00 a.m. Tuesdays with Drillmaster Blaze, £50 plus materials. The grunts in this boot camp use guns loaded with hard cylinders of ammunition. The guns liquify the ammunition into molten sludge. Use the sludge to weld lethal jungle plants onto round, jagged lengths of wire. Are you afraid? Then don’t bother signing up, because you’ll also be pounding a letter made of sheet metal into the center of your Door Halo, and we wouldn’t want you to cut your flaccid, pampered hands. Grunts strong enough to complete the build get their choice of textile to hang their Halos on their front doors. (Most choose camo.) Spiked Webmaking: Six-week sessions; 2:00 p.m. Mondays and Wednesdays with Drillmaster Ace, £200 plus materials; measuring tape required.

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Grunts will use sharp metal spikes and skinny rope to make repeating knots. The spikes stab the rope into disciplined rows of knots. The knots make webs you can drop on home invaders like a strangling blanket, or webs you can wear on your torso and arms under a jacket, especially if it’s witch-tit cold outside. We supply skinny rope in light colors so you can learn to read your stitches — knots, we mean. So you can read your knots. Like Morse code.

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Memorial Mounting: Four-week sessions; 1:00 p.m. Saturdays with Drillmaster Lars, £100 plus materials; specialty stickers extra. Learn to use round, razor-sharp tools that are basically concealed-carry-sized skill saws, but manually operated. They could take off a finger if you push hard enough. You probably can’t push hard enough, you pathetic worm. Grunts will slice into items of significance and mount them with powerful adhesive into heavy Memorial Tomes. Each Tome commemorates important memories, like that time you crushed the Spartan race or ate twenty-four hot dogs in twenty minutes. Stabbing Textiles: Six-week sessions; 3:00 p.m. Sundays with Drillmaster Jax, £150 plus materials; silk, velvet, and trim extra. Uses skinnier rope and smaller, deadlier spikes than Webmaking. The spikes are connected to a high-powered motor that drills them down like pistons, over and over and over again, at face-melting speeds. These lethal pistons will stab through anything, as long as it’s some kind of textile. Grunts will assemble a tactical assault bag that can be worn across the chest, on the waist, or on the shoulder. Badass Shit on a Cord: Four-week sessions; 6:00 p.m. Fridays with Drillmaster Gunner, $200 plus materials. Grunts will make badass shit to wear on their necks, like a shark tooth hanging on a leather thong, a small Viking sword hanging on a leather thong, or a nonspecific tribal talisman hanging on a leather thong. We also have hemp cord, but please note that our puka shell supplier is currently embargoed. Participation in Badass Shit on a Cord is a prerequisite for registration in next month’s Badass Paracord Rescue Bracelet tutorial.

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What are you waiting for, permission from your Mommy? Your Mommy doesn’t shop here. Prove you’re not a sniveling waste of testosterone and enlist today at MANUFRACTURE®.com -Audrey Burges

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REBRANDING YOUR TODDLER SAY WHAT YOU WILL FASCISM, BUT DICTATORS KNOW FASHION

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o you fear little Aldous is losing online clout faster than Charles Barkley caught saying anything on a hot mic? Does your kid’s social media presence feel like it’s not influencing so much as it’s just “following orders?” Have your Instagram likes plateaued despite using #thatsassybaby on every post? Before you fly to South Korea on a medical tourism visa to work with the only plastic surgeon doing calf implants on a size 4T, read these helpful tips. Call Me By YOUR NAME GOES HERE

with the trends will require a few trips to city hall each year, but on the plus side you will create a paper trail to help mask those questionable loans you put under their Social Security number. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe Change Say what you will about the resurgence of fascism, but dictators know fashion. Have you tried to dress your son or daughter like the late Muammar Gaddafi? Nothing drips harder than a military coat, shiny metals, and a cadre of female soldiers. More like Kim Jong Illest, am I right? While every other kid will be emulating their favorite look from Stranger Things, your kid will be representing the real Upside Down by wearing an outfit embodying the current world order that just happens to feel like a dark parallel universe.

Did you go all-in on Khaleesi? Don’t panic, this isn’t the first time a naming mistake has forsaken a child to years of ridicule; just ask my cousin Adolf Mugabe. If it helps, you can take comfort in knowing there are probably a lot more Orenthal James Simpsons running around, and it wasn’t too long ago that Ted Bundy was the most American name you could give Chance the Accountant? to your son before you shipped him off to Vietnam to die. Let’s face it, unless you’ve taught your child Mandarin, he/she isn’t going to Nowadays names are like straws: they thrive in the future Chinese-dominated are easily disposable and Baby Boomers economy. While nobody is foaming at are filled with unnecessary rage when the mouth to listen to your first-born then change. Updating your baby’s name butcher “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” on

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piano, there are hordes of twisted freaks who have an insatiable hunger for little kids rapping to trap beats. So rapping is really the only future they will have and will soon be the only skill that matters. Despite what you’ve seen at weddings, hip-hop isn’t just Sir Mix-a-Lot and Juvenile. In fact, there’s a whole catalogue of songs not about gigantic asses. Get little Kafka a beat machine, a Tik Tok account, and dancing lessons right now. Then just lie in wait for Ellen’s production team to hops into your DMs and pounce like the vicious and starved tiger parent you’ve become. Back That Thing Up: Editing Your Child’s Backstory If the past few years have taught us anything, it’s that origin stories are hot right now (and, of course, the truth doesn’t matter). You shouldn’t be a slave to your moral compass, and that goes double for your two-year-old’s developing brain. Have you noticed people are no longer intrigued about your toddler’s ability to reach standard milestones? Are your stories of body parts in the 99th percentile met with yawns? It’s time to really draw in your target audience with a compelling backstory. Try telling people your child was the result of a surrogacy gone wrong for Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. Is your toddler really named Longitude West because she’s Khloe’s third cousin? I won’t tell on you. Remember this: before Malala Yousafzai was inspiring lives with her harrowing tale of survival in the face of unparalleled adversity, she was making YouTube makeup tutorials from her dorm room at Rutgers.

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It would be great if everyone’s less-than-average offspring could defy the odds to become a superstar like Pete Davidson, but it’s time to face reality. The clock is ticking, and you’ve got to get little Orwell that sweet Netflix deal before the whole business model inevitably implodes. Think of your child as an empty canvas or, better yet, an Etch A Sketch with you at the dials, ready to shake furiously and start over at the first sign of disappointment.

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-Paul Hernandez

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THE HISTORY OF COOL GREASERS 1940s/1950s

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ool began in the 1940s when teenagers were invented. Before teens, people aged 13 to 19 were simply underdeveloped adults. You have no idea how square people were back then. You’d have married couples that had been together for 40 years and never even see each other’s genitalia. Can you believe that? Isn’t it basically your genitalia at that point? Anyway, when the WWII veterans came back from traveling the world, blowing people’s heads off all over Europe and Russia and fucking Africa(!), they got back to Brooklyn and said, “You have no idea how square you people are right now.” The vets bought motorbikes and started telling everyone to fuck off. Then, in 1953 a motorcycle movie called The Wild One came out and told the world what I just told you. Two years later, Rebel Without a Cause came out and defined this new culture. They took the ex-soldier biker attitude, poured some James Dean on it, and called it “teenage.” This concept was the birth of cool, and it’s still very prevalent in the hipsters of today. The days of “young adult” were finally over and replaced with “Actually, fuck adults. I hate their stupid guts.” This is actually the first time the word “hipster” was used. No joke.

cause the baby boom provided a huge surge of population and people tend to take you seriously when you become the majority. This generation gap was not only the impetus of cool, it defined it. Whatever old people didn’t get became cool. If your dad is sketched out by negroes, you stick one of their dicks in your hand and say, “How you like me now, dad?”

BEATNIKS 1950s The beatniks listened to negro music and even invented their own version called rock and roll (how funny does that phrase sound, by the way —“rock and roll”?). These guys were the first to realize how cool black people are and learned to harness their power to make more of it.

MODS 1960s

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Across the pond, patriotic, working class kids turned their noses up at looking like shit and began dancing to negro music and wearing suits. They fought with greasers on the beaches of Normandy or something like that (JK, it was Brighton) and the whole thing was beautifully portrayed in 1973’s Quadrophenia. I grew up in Canada, where we followed BritiTeenagers had the power to do this be- sh subcultures religiously. About half my

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friends were mods (the rest were punks), and I gotta say, I never met a mod with any kind of balls whatsoever. There’s something about teenagers dressing incredibly neatly that just screams nerd, and it feels weird including them in this list. Though drawing that mod chick did kind of give me a boner.

HIPPIES 1960s/1970s After the beatniks and the greasy rock and rollers you had hippies with huge bales of pubic hair eating each other out and coming up with controversial ideas, like “War is bad.” Whoa. Around this time, something really fucking weird happened. You see, young people not only love reveling in the current version of whatever cool is. They also enjoy going back a generation and redoing the previous version. In the 1970s there were truckloads of hippies but there were also TONS of greasers redoing the 1950s thing. They brought back Marlon Brando’s motorcycle jacket and put Brylcreem in their hair and perfectly simulated the damaged war vets from a quarter of a century ago. This shit is always going on, by the way. Today there are more hippies worldwide than there ever were in the 1960s. When I was a teenager you had to order green hair dye and Doctor Martens from one punk store in London. Today it’s a cinch to get all the gear you need for every subculture subculture under the sun, no matter where you live. Shit, in Mexico City you have chaos punks fighting with emo punks because they think the latter isn’t punk enough. In my day, you’d have skinheads hanging out with fat goth chicks and anarchist peace

punks and mods just because there were so few of them and the weirdoes had to stick together. Personally, I’m thrilled with the way things panned out. Fuck all that bullshit about the “commodification of youth culture.” The more the merrier. “Let a hundred flowers bloom,” as Mao would say (though in a slightly different context).

PUNKS 1970s/1980s OK, sorry to go off at a tangent there. Punk is one of the weirdest accidents in the history of cool. Here’s the deal: As I just said, in the 1970s you had all these kids pretending they were back in the 1950s. Nobody did this better than Brooklyn goombahs. They styled their hair perfectly, wore sunglasses 24 hours a day, and had balls the size of watermelons. They were also some of the biggest morons in the history of youth and had that shitty, retard, Brooklyn accent to really drive it home. Instead of hiding it, however, they owned the shit and pretended they wanted to be dumb. If you’re smart, you’re a fucking nerd and deserve to have your underwear pulled on. Hollywood was in Brooklyn back then, so if New York endorsed it, it became fact. 1950s movies like Grease, American Graffiti, and Lords of Flatbush were actually shot in the 1970s, and this remake of greasers became way more popular than the original greasers.

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the moronic Italian, 50s, tough guy, greaser character he did in Flatbush with the Fonz on Happy Days, and “Bowzer” from a 50s a cappella band called Sha Na Na did the same

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thing. When some low IQ, Queens meatheads wanted to start a band, they had no choice but to do what everyone else was doing and ride the goombah tidal wave. They called themselves the Ramones. If you weren’t a hippy in the 70s, you were mimicking Brooklyn Italians mimicking 50s teenagers mimicking 40s war vets. As if this bizarre fashion double helix wasn’t twisted enough, the leaders of this movement (Arthur Fonzarelli, Bowzer, and Joey Ramone) were middle-class Jewish kids! They were sick of having their underwear pulled by wops and were actually doing a mockery of this persona. OK, this is where it gets even weirder. So, one of these bands, the Ramones, goes to London to show British people what it sounds like when Jewish nerds do Italian idiots do 50s teens do 40s war vets and everyone who hears them goes, “WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO MY MIND!? THIS IS THE GREATEST SHIT I’VE EVER HEARD!” You see, instead of seeing this

weird Brooklyn accident for what it is, Britain’s superior education overanalyzed it and created this huge cultural manifesto about class. The Ramones weren’t a crappy 50s cover band. They were proletariats taking back the guitar from the man and telling the world, “You can do it too! You can do anything!” How they got that from “Hey, ho, let’s go” I will never know. New York City may have invented punk (accidentally) but Britain dressed it up and gave it a background. After the Ramones played their legendary London gig, we got the Clash, the Sex Pistols, the Damned; Oi was born as a “working class protest”; and so on and so on. They really took the ball and ran

with it. They still are. Amazing, eh?

DISCO, HARDCORE, AND THE BIG BOOM 1980s America was confused by Britain’s version of the Ramones, so they shaved their heads and sped up the music and ran into each other like methheads in jail. That was hardcore. Hardcore had a baby called emo. Now, at this point, subcultures went from one or two competing factions to what sociologists refer to as the “Big Boom of Cool” (I just made up that term but let’s start using it, and it will become a fact). Punks and mods had been divided and subdivided into: chaos punks, anarcho punks, crusties, New Age Travellers, Nazi skins, anti-racist skins, boot boys, suede heads, rude boys, chelseas, and scooter boys. When all this was going on, disco had appeared and offered girls something to do that was actually fun for a change. This collided into punk and became New Wave. That later tripped and became No Wave. It was anarchy. You couldn’t be a teenager without being some “thing.” Even nerds and losers became a thing.

METALHEADS 1980s

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It’s hard to point to the beginning of bangers. They’re just hard rockers, right? I mean, fucking Judas Priest started in 1969. However, the version we think of today — the long haired, zit-faced, stoned wastoid — really hit its stride in the 80s. After that, the whole thing split into grindcore, thrash, prog rock, sludge, melodeath, death metal, black metal, speed metal — the list goes on and on.

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In a strange twist of fate, nerds recently figured out pocket protectors and military haircuts were making them an easy target and have adopted metal as their new home. This was a huge blow to the non-jock bully world and has left a lot of tough guys wondering what the fuck to do with their rage.

INDIE ROCK 1990s In the center of all this hullabaloo came Lollapalooza and the zenith of Indie Rock. It’s tricky talking about this because “independent rock” is intertwangled throughout all of these but you couldn’t do a chronology of cool without mentioning Pavement and Sonic Youth and those stupid mechanic’s coats that has someone else’s name in an oblong.

RAVERS 90s Dance music has been a constant option throughout all these morphing definitions because girls represent 50% of the population and they don’t give a shit if Brian Baker left Minor Threat to pursue metal. Clubs like Paradise Garage in New York City were playing so much dance music and getting people so high, they changed the way the music was made. They invented garage music, which evolved into house, and then you had all that weird shit, like intelligent drum ’n’ bass and dub step and jungle and other hilarious terms British people like to get into arguments about. Drugs may have been big with the hippies but it was mandatory with rave culture. How could you not be high? The music sucked. But you couldn’t have told us that.

After sitting on a huge couch and making out on GHB for five hours and then dancing maniacally on E for another five, there was nothing else in the world but clubland. We said shit like, “Rock and roll is finally dead,” and, “Guitars are over,” with a straight face. Oops.

HIPSTERS 2000 By the end of the 90s, rave and grunge were wandering aimlessly around kids’ bedrooms wondering what to do with themselves. Rap was still hanging in there but the excitement of hearing Niggaz Wit Attitudes say, “Fuck the Police,” was long gone and too much R&B was making it sound like our parents’ music (and this whole thing began with saying “Fuck adults,” remember?). Electroclash tried to get on this list by being a new New Wave but was hammered back into the ground by kids that were sick of all this shit. They were born and raised in the Internet, and the whole concept of “one thing” just wasn’t cutting it anymore. Around 2000, André 3000 from Outkast saw the Strokes play a show and shat his drawers (I was there — dude’s jaw was on the floor). He started looking into what white people were doing and decided it would be fun to join them. Then Kanye West started wearing tight jeans and black cool became amalgamated with white cool, which ended up as the word hipster. For the first time since the beatniks (or the 1940s hipsters when the term was first coined), everyone was on the same page. The Internet generation’s idea of cool includes everything on

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this list and much more. Girl Talk makes songs out of every song in the world; it’s totally illegal, and every show he plays is totally packed. Ninjasonik takes Matt & Kim’s “Daylight” and raps over it while on tour with hardcore bands like Cerebral Ballzy. Punk rock is a huge part of hipster culture but so is rap. It’s all a big confusing mess and nobody over 30 can figure it out. Perfect. Tight pants, track bikes, and thrift store clothes seem to define the look but there has never been a version of cool that has fewer rules. A hipster is, as the dictionary says, “A fashionable young person (between 15 and 29 — fuck, that leaves me out) with an interest in contemporary alternative music (and some older shit, too).”

them to at least pay for something. TV, magazines, and marketing in general are next to walk the plank and the generation gap has never been wider. Have you ever seen a baby boomer try to text someone? Have you ever tried to explain Twitter to an old person? Cool was born as a way for young people to tell old people, “I don’t want to be like you.” Today they’re saying, “I don’t want 2 b like u,” and grown-ups don’t even know how to open the message. Old people react to this exactly the same way they did when Bill Haley and the Comets first sang “Rock Around the Clock”: they clench their fists and scream at the sky in frustration. These critics have no idea how transparent their criticism is. No matter how hard they try to make it sound justified, the real beef is, “They’re young and having fun, and they make me feel old and out-ofit.” So while the so-called “hipsters” (they never call themselves that; angry, old people are the ones that resurrected the term) are out partying and getting laid and enjoying their youth, thirty-something bloggers are getting up early in the morning and typing furiously at their keyboards about “the kids today.” Ha! They accuse hipsters of being obsessed with irony, yet it’s the old person’s grumpy attitude that defines what a hipster is in the first place. How’s that for ironic?

Of course, the detractors have a lot to say. They claim hipsters are rich kids pretending to be working class (trucker hats, Pabst Blue Ribbon). They say hipsters have no political agenda and are simply patsies being duped by big corporations to owe their soul to the company cool store. If anything, hipsters are the hardest fuckers to make money off of. I mean, I did a pretty good job of it but I pulled it off by trying not to make money. I interviewed King Khan’s tit and wrote an article that was “Gloria. G-L- -Darren Alberty O-RI-A” 3,000 times. If someone else wants to give that a whirl, go bananas.

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In the meantime, the entire record industry just collapsed trying to persuade

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HOW TO SHOPLIFT L

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veryone nabs something now and then — a pack of smokes no one’s minding at a house party, a beer from a bodega when you’re already way too drunk, train fare by jumping a turnstile. But routinely going into stores with dedicated loss-prevention teams and stealing expensive things for years without being caught, that takes skill. Apparently my friend — let’s call her “Jane” — has that skill. She’s been seriously shoplifting for less than three years, but doing it so regularly that she’s already amassed over $10,000 worth of stolen merchandise, and all without being stopped by security even once. I sat down with Jane to find out how she does it and what advice she has for kids new to the game. Being a girl, she only lifts clothes, shoes, makeup and other useless shit, so this won’t help you get a brand new flat screen for free, but maybe you can get your girlfriend something nice for once. The bungling thief tried to steal the Venetian blind from the furniture store by stuffing it down his jacket

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Arv: When did you first start steal- what would set the alarm off, if I just feel comfortable, ‘cause I want to be smart ing stuff? about it. I don’t ever want to get caught. Jane: It wasn’t until I started working for It’s stupid to not be careful about it. Anthropologie, like maybe a year or so in. I just didn’t get paid shit, and I was What’re the factors you take into there all the time, and, I dunno, I spent account? way too much money there. I just started taking stuff slowly, and I got really Is there an alarm system by the door? good at it. It wasn’t really until I moved What kind of security tags do they use? here [to New York City] that I started I always take off any kind of paper or any sort of tag on it because you never stealing from other places. know. Like the Anthropologie tag, just Do you think you’re a klepto? Or do those little cardboard ones, have sensors in them. You never know what has you take stuff you actually like? a sensor in it so it’s better to just take I take stuff I actually like, and I’ve also everything off. Like, feel it and know recently taken stuff that was really ex- there’s nothing on there. pensive that I could sell. I’ve never really stolen anything just to steal, it’s usually Is there special gear that you use, stuff I like. I probably don’t “need” any like wearing a large coat or using a large bag or making sure you bring of this shit, but I steal things I want. scissors with you? Where do you sell this stuff? When I stole at Anthroplogie, I would I would sell it at Buffalo Exchange and wear baggy clothing to work and wear Beacon’s Closet. And then I just start- stuff under my clothes out because they ed selling stuff on eBay ‘cause I had would check your bag when you left. like four dresses that I didn’t want and And then, when I stole from Uniqlo, I’d they’re really expensive. I also got fired just shove it in my purse. And now since from Beacon’s, so I just don’t want to living here, I’ll sometimes wear a coat fucking sell there anymore. And I made so I can conceal something in order to a lot more money on eBay. I sold some- get it into the fitting room. But normally thing for $130 last week that was origi- I need a big shopping bag and a purse, nally like $500, and then something for because it’s really easy to use shopping bags. $80 the other day.

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Is it only stuff from places that Where else do you usually steal from or have you in the past? you’ve worked? No, now I do it at places I understand. Top Shop. A lot. That’s where I got If I understand the system and I know all the really expensive dresses. It was

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Kate Moss for Top Shop. I’ve stolen from some boutiques and some smaller stores, and that I felt bad about, because the whole thing with Anthropologie was like, I hate this place. It made me feel better, and that’s really why it started. It made me feel better to get that stuff for free because I didn’t think Anthropologie deserved my money and I just didn’t have respect for the company. When you go out to steal something, will you also buy something? Like put a bunch of stuff in your bag and then go to the register with one really cheap thing? I’ve considered doing that before, but then I was thinking, if someone is suspecting me, I should just get the fuck out of there rather than standing in line just to buy something. They’re still going to think something’s shady.

room and stuff it in my bag and on my person, then bunch all the hangers up, put double hangers on dresses and just make it look normal, and if they ask me, just say I’m thinking about it. And then put them all away either fast or while I’m still shopping around and then leave. But if no one’s in there shopping, they’re like, “This girl’s tried on all this stuff and then went and put each and every single one back?” And also, I’ll get a big coat to try on to put all the tags and stuff in and put that back on the floor. So if they did think I was weird and went and checked that coat, then they’d know what was up. What’re the easiest places to steal from?

Urban’s tags are really really easy to get off. But they pay more attention in the fitting rooms, so that’s kind of annoying. It really just depends. Top Shop is really easy when it’s busy just ‘cause nobody’s Are there ground rules you follow looking at you. every time you go out? Or do you figure it out on the spot, like what But my friend who works at Urban eats you should do, what you should for free at Dean & Deluca every day. He take? just steals his lunch every day from Dean & Deluca. I’ve done it a couple of times. If I go into a place like Urban Outfitters and there’s not a lot of shoppers and From the same Dean & Deluca? there’s a ton of employees, that kind of freaks me out. ‘Cause my whole system Yeah, the same one. So they really don’t is I go in, I pick out a bunch of things and, give a fuck. He gets a drink, sushi. if I can — at Urban they count them out but at Top Shop they ask, so you just lie Does he just walk out with it? and tell them you have a lower amount — if I can conceal stuff just so that my He walks in with his coat over his arm, number is lower, in case I came out and picks it up and then walks back out. they wanted to match up numbers. But normally, I remove the tags in the fitting When you said tag, do you mean

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the paper tags? What happens if you come across a metal contraption? Yeah, there’s the hard tag where there’s a pin and a big piece of plastic, and the pin goes into the plastic and locks. Working at Anthropologie for a long time, there’s a big magnet glued to the desk and you’d remove the sensors with that…. So I was like, I need a really big magnet.

against the magnet and it popped off. And I was like, I need that one! So I think somewhere in the comments on it someone mentioned what kind of magnet you would need. So I looked it up. [Author’s Note: The magnet was grade N52.] At Top Shop, I have to work it until I get it a little out and then just pull it until it pops, which is annoying.

Now I was like, I’m getting kind of crazy, I don’t know if I should do this. But I was like fuck it, I want a big magnet. So I ordered a big magnet on eBay. I did a little bit of research to make sure that it would be strong enough and it finally got here and I took it out. I took it to Top Shop first and it was really hard with theirs. I can’t even get it out sometimes. But I’ve gotten most of the stuff I’ve tried to steal from there.

So what do you do if you leave the fitting room and, let’s say you already have something in your bag, but you know guards are on to you?

With the magnet? With the magnet. But a lot of their stuff isn’t tagged too. I think they just get lazy when they’re putting it back on the floor or something because I found a lot of stuff without tags there too, so that makes it a little easier. What were you looking for when you found the magnet? Like, what specifications does the magnet have to be?

Without beelining it to the door like you’re guilty and you know they’re on to you, just slowly and as casually as possible get out of there. Don’t give them a chance to come up and talk to you. The second you feel weird or uncomfortable or someone’s looking at you, you want to get out of there. Keep your head down. If you have headphones, that’s even better. Put your headphones on so it seems like you’re not even paying attention because if you do set the door off, they’ll be like — some places don’t even care; Uniqlo won’t stop anyone if the door goes off — but at Anthropologie they’re really serious about it. And Top Shop has a guard, although he seems really lazy to me. But at Anthropologie the guys take it really, really seriously. Having worked at one here, I know that they have different bosses and their job is to make sure that they stop you. But if the door goes off, you have to keep walking.

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I saw a YouTube video. I could only find one video of someone doing it. ‘Cause there’s all these instructional videos on YouTube on how to get magnets off and they’re all really stupid and long and boring, and then this guy just threw it

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Don’t stop, don’t pause, don’t look back. If you don’t have headphones on and you keep walking without even reacting at all, they’ll know you stole something just because any normal person would at least be like, “Uh?” But the second you’re out the door, they can’t go out there. I mean, they can come out and yell at you and tell you to come back in and stuff, but they can’t physically touch you and bring you back in the store. Is that a legal issue? It’s assault, I think. I know that’s how it is in Massachusetts, and I’m pretty sure it’d be the same here. They’re not bouncers, they can’t run out and tackle you to the ground or arrest you on the spot. Although I did see one girl with bad timing: She ran out and there was a cop just driving really slow by. But under all other circumstances, if you set the door off, keep walking and act completely oblivious. Don’t run, just walk away and get out of sight. What are some pro-tips for people who just started stealing?

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There could be a tag on everything. So many people get busted at Urban because it doesn’t occur to them that those papers, those white cardboard things are an alarm. So be aware of everything that’s on it. Be really, really, really careful. Start small. Be aware of your surroundings. And know, most importantly, know that you just need to get out of there. Never stop, never make an excuse, never give anyone the chance to confront you.

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-Arvind Dilawar

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S H O E

IF YOU ARE SINGLE IT'S BECAUSE OF YOUR UGLY SHOES

10 issues ago we gathered our friends and family to release Issue 2. They all knew they were about to get judged, and not by their personalities.

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This score is merely symbolic, thanks for bringing the party, T-man.

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No one should have "work @readpublichouse shoes" don't you know that 66% of people meet their partners at work, plus, the first thing that women notice is your shoes, you do the math.

Alright Mr Shoemaker, time to ditch your iPhone 6 and brake it off with Mrs Neck Tattoos. Either that or start a band ASAP


REVIEWS

The OC ended in 2007 but Cohen's legacy will remain until Trump steps down from office in 2000never.

Running trainers are like personal trainers, when not in the tracks, they 're better off deep back in the closet.

I can't remember why I rated this so low. White Vans are essential and era-less. Oh yeah I know why, they're also FUCKING EASY TO WASH.

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I'm not sure how Kosher shoes are done but they don't look very tasty.

If they were to swap socks the left one would be a 2.5 but the right one would go up to a 10.

This Beatle shoe is great looking but it says that you couldn't kick toddler's ass if he was hitting on your girlfriend.

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H E E L

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F L I P

Original by Saida Sniegane

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yum

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he Food Monster series is Yum's reverse thinking about food. people. The Coronavirus incident has deepened her understand panic, but to choose food and eat food more consciously. "Don ing artist from Beijing who can be contacted for colaborations a

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tang

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She's have been worried about the relationship between food and ding of food. Her aim is not to cause people to worry about food or n't ignore the dangerous side of food while enjoying." She's an emergat: 8 3 7 7 2 2 5 2 6 @ q q . c o m

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"A Fro Family"

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Justin Bettman

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SWEATSHOP-FREE


BACON

Original by Justin Bettman


London AN INTERVIEW WITH KIM TAYLOR BENNETT

She’s a British writer/TV presenter who cares about how people dress almost as much as I do. New Yorkers love to crap on LA and London and just assume their city is all that matters, but London takes way more risks fashion-wise, don’t you think? London is hands down the most fashionable city in the world. I see more fashion-forward dressed people falling out my door to buy a pint of milk than I would barhopping in Brooklyn. As with most cities, however, it really depends what post / zip code you’re in. East London has been a photo-op epicenter for decades but if you go to Acton, it’s pretty staid High Street fare. Londoners who give a crap about clothes do take more risks, which means sometimes you might pass someone in the street who looks like a cartoon. You’ll probably laugh at them but at least it makes the city colorful. Case in point: 2006’s nu rave tragedy. Terrible, but a spectacle. What do you think differentiates London fashion from other cities, like Paris? Parisians on the whole are more polished, particularly the ladies. The word chic was really made for that city and its citizens. London’s fashion tribes are distinct and strong. Whether it’s the drunk punks hanging out on the lock in Camden or the retro girls with their petticoats and Rita Hayworth hair at the Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club or the flamboyant drag queens at the Dalston Superstore, London fashion kids tend to get into their groove and not give a crap what trends other people around the world are following. I think perhaps in other cities like NYC, it’s better to look like you’ve not made too much of an

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effort. Londoners who want it to work will look like they’ve considered every aspect of an outfit down to the last stud. How often do you wear heels and how do you deal with the discomfort? I wear heels pretty regularly, especially when I go to gigs, so I can dance around and actually see the band. Heels make your legs and butt look awesome, and dancing in them is a much more effective workout than doing so in flats. You can feel the ache the next day. Every smart girl packs a pair of ballet flats in her purse for the stumble home. This also means that should you need to, you can use your heels as a weapon and then run away. What’s some go-to safety look that any woman can pull off no matter how fat? Dresses. A well-cut, perhaps empire line dress will successfully and flatteringly encase the flab. Do you have a dealbreaker with guys? Something where, no matter how great they are, you just can’t get over that they wore that? Men who wear their trousers cinched below the bum so when they walk it looks like their pants are full of turds. Fashion / complex haircuts of any kind. I find men who spend time on their hair pretty repulsive, and this includes highlights, lowlights, goatees, or soul patches. Shirts with logos like Versace. Soccer shirts, unless they’re actually playing the damn game. White jeans and deep V, American Apparel T-shirts. Just get lost already. Seriously. A normal V-neck equals good. Plunging is unnecessary. I’m also not OK with those little baby foot socks that end just below the ankle. I don’t know what it is about them but I find them incredibly creepy. I know they’re practical and should make sense but they just don’t. They’re vile. I’d rather have a sweaty foot than a sorta-sock. However, as much as I hate all these things, if they were really awesome and we burned these items together, then I think I could get over it. I’m forgiving. I’m also a big advocator of a white T-shirt and a pair of well-fitting Levi’s. Era-less hot.

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Montreal AN INTERVIEW WITH THE PREGNANT GOLDFISH Why are Montrealers so hot? Is it because the Europeans fucked the Natives? Marilis (girl): Clearly the mix of hot Parisian prostitutes and the sexy skin tone and bone structure of Natives (what’s the politically correct word again?) has translated into some of the finest humans around. Unfortunately, this pairing worked in a positive way only for the ladies, because the straight boys are all short and love hair gel. What separates Montreal fashion from New York and LA? Marilis: Montrealers are poor and have to use pretty basic resources to look good. Maybe it goes back to our ancestors, crafting their party outfits out of old dishrags and a couple of leaves? Montreal youth dress out of stuff they find on the street and often end up wearing exactly the same outfits as the bums that hang out downtown, only they are fortunate enough to be youthful, sexy, and showered, so they look good. How would you compare English Montreal fashion with French Montreal fashion? Alison (girl): I am 100% English which is probably why I think Quebecois French fashion is, like, the world’s funniest thing. Everything is asymmetrical, lots of weird, loose necklines, like a hybrid between 1990s pseudo-modern-Matrix meets Moulin Rouge and makeup, kind of like the band Orgy — remember them? Montreal has to be the most homo-friendly city in North America next to San Francisco but they seem to have taken over. Where’d all the straight guys go? Alison: It’s funny you ask this, because a few months ago I realized that I have no straight male friends. NONE. Not one. Well, maybe one but he is probably gay. Mari-

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lis: See, we love the gays here, especially the amazing ones who grab your boobs and make out with you on the dance floor because that’s pretty much the most action girls here get all week. About ten Montreal straight boys know that striped button-ups and loose jeans are not proper attire — ever. Most girls here look so good all the time that, out of boredom, they end up questioning their heterosexual identity every Saturday night. Dane (boy): It’s dandy the gays and the strays are amalgamated. It’s like everyone in Montreal is androgynous and bisexual. I catch a lot of people making out with a lot of people they probably wouldn’t be with if they weren’t so high and drunk. The DOs & DON’Ts started in Montreal mostly out of frustration with unilingual Frogs and how totally clueless they are. In retrospect, I kind of dig their isolation and appreciate their uncoolness. How has Quebec’s bizarre culture affected the way they dress? Marilis: Quebecois — especially middle-aged, Francophone women — seem to think that the more seams, patterns, and fabric contents you can fit in your dress, the more fashionable you are. They use words like “funky,” “edgy,” and “original” to describe everything, when really they should be using the words “tacky,” “painful,” and “fucking ugly.” Eyesore central. Is there a particular look that girls wear that just kills you? Alison: I hate people who wear white leggings. It is absolutely NOT okay to wear white leggings unless you are as skinny as, I don’t know, let’s say Mary-Kate. I don’t want to see your cellulite. Even gray leggings are sometimes pushing it. Marilis: Hiking boots, running shoes, boot-cut jeans, leather pants, pleated miniskirts, polyester, tight and short T-shirts, lamé, kitten heels, duvet jackets. Dane: I hate everyone who wears a pair of jeans and an old T-shirt every single day. I think everyone should romp around in catsuits and try embellishing a little more. Pin on a crow or a dove. Tie a crown of baby kitties around your head.

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LA AN INTERVIEW WITH NIGHTLIFE THE COBRASNAKE You seem to like LA. How can you like LA? You've traveled all over the world and should know better. They all have skulls on their blazers in LA. Loving LA is like being into fat girls: You can’t learn how to do it no matter how hard you try, and you would never want to if you weren’t already. You just have to “get it.” Plus it’s mostly Mexicans who rock skull blazers now. Why does New York have less douchebags? What about Midtown? What about the Puerto Ricans? What about New Jersey? What about Williamsburg, like, two years from now? Or downtown five years from now? New York is only going to get more and more douchey but LA’s douche tide might actually start receding in the next decade. I think New York dresses better because the trial and error of being around people every day helps you iron out the kinks. In LA you only see people sporadically so you develop slower. There are no “mistakes” in LA, only dreams. Every person walking around is a unique, timeless snowflake of fashion and personal identity. For 99 percent of the people that means they totally suck but there’s also a couple people, like me and Jonny Makeup, who “make it work.” I wanted to do a book on young people who invented their own jobs but you’re the only one I could think of. Did you invent this whole idea of going to parties and photoblogging them? Yes. I invented the photoblog and by definition I also invented the nightlife photoblog. Not only did I invent the nightlife photoblog, but I still have the only one that really matters, no matter how many times you link to pictures of girls “going wild” on other party blogs. I get very upset when

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people deny me my invention. Like, I get heart palpitations, and I need to just drink a vegetable juice and lay down. Could you basically get any girl you want? I could do a lot of things but I don’t want to because I’m an Eagle Scout and a nice Jewish boy. I really am an Eagle Scout. Also, I was prom king. I’ve always said guys who aren’t conventionally attractive should go the goof route and just go bananas with retarded outfits. This seems to be working for you now but how do you age with this gracefully? That’s true, except the “goof route” works even better if you’re really, really handsome, like me. Aging gracefully is tough. I’m sure you’re looking for pointers on that. Like, it’s pretty pathetic to be all covered with tattoos and still trying super hard when you’re 45. I’ll probably move straight into “classy old Hollywood Jew” after 30, and when I die, I’ll be buried in the fanciest Jewish cemetery “no problemo” because I don’t have any stupid Ed Hardy tattoos. You started the whole nu rave thing. You were wearing neon fanny packs before any of those dudes. Then it was everywhere. Now it seems to be disappearing. Are you just going to wait ‘til it comes back around or go for a new look? My overall look was never completely nu rave, but I do think fashion historians will look back and confirm that I rocked some of the best and earliest neon flavour of the “Naughty Aughties.” Also, I started wearing pink at least a year before Cam’ron. Nu rave was a dumb name but now that it’s over, the good news is that the ante really got upped on neon garments and accessories. If you’re going to wear neon in the future, it has to be something really amazing like a neon backpack with a giant clock embedded inside it. What's the worst faux pas men make today? Taking themselves too seriously.

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New York AN INTERVIEW WITH NIGHTLIFE BLOG LAST NIGHT’S PARTY

New York, LA, London, or Montreal? I love New York because it’s non-stop action. Every city I go to people are always, “Hey, check us out. See? We have wild parties too” but it’s usually a Friday or Saturday blowout. In NYC you can see the sunrise seven days in a row. LA has some merit though, no? What's good about LA? Some of my craziest times in LA happen during the day. I feel like the nightlife in LA is just one big casting call (in a good way, for me at least). I usually go to a party there at night and meet the people I will be doing stuff with during the next day. In NYC, I’m just waiting for the sun to drop before I do anything. Ideally, I’d spend my days in LA and my nights in New York, if I really didn’t want to EVER sleep. You're originally Canadian though, like me. What about the homeland? What about Montreal? Montreal is filled with every remotely pretty girl in Quebec who thought she could be a model in “the big city.” It’s great when you’re in the middle of it and it makes guys learn French real fast. Is this your full-time job? I work part-time in the Divided Red & Hennes Gold sections at H&M on 34th Street. Sometimes they station me

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in the fitting room. Come see me. I work Tuesday to Thursday. I remember you said you hate fake party shots. That happens? People come up to you pretending they're having a wild time? All the time. Especially when I leave New York. People have their “party face” looks everywhere I go. They’ll be sitting there all sullen and depressed, then explode into life for the photo, then slump back down. It’s so absurd that sometimes I actually break down laughing. I also get girls saying, “I wanna be naked in a bathroom. My boyfriend says it’s OK” and even shit like, “My girlfriends are all between 18 and 21. Can we pose for photos in your hotel shower?” Are you in a relationship? Is such a thing possible with a job like this? I’m in many relationships, but the day I have a committed relationship, LNP is basically over. Then again, U2 said they’d stop when they started sucking. What was with the wig? I love that guys with tattoos all over their bodies or girls with piercings in all sorts of places, look at boys who wear wigs and say, “Hey, why do you do that?” What's the worst popular fashion trend right now? Personally, I'd go with open-toed boots. A girl can wear whatever she wants if she’s really, really fun. One thing doing a lot of photo shoots taught me is every fashion mistake is always a tiny adjustment away from being a great look. Is there a particular thing that girls wear that just kills you? High heels with short socks or dirty old t-shirts or something? A tall, skinny, brunette with a beautiful face, wearing Marc Jacobs anything, big boobs, and an open schedule to hang out all night usually gets my attention. What's the worst faux pas men make today? Um, let's see. Fedoras, which I blame on Justin Timberlake, and talking about sneakers like anybody gives a shit.

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weareforreal

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FOREALÂŽ is a design studio with a creative focus on illustration, animation and art

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direction founded by Benjamin Simon and Dirk Schuster.

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FACE

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Originals by Salvatore Matarazzo


TIME

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etite Lune Studio was created in 2016 by Kat and Juliette, two largely self-taught creatives. The pair met while interning for the same jewellery company in London. Jewellery was not just a job or even a hobby for them, but a true passion. From imagining new pieces, sourcing components from around the world, to the final production, all by hand. Petite Lune was born from the realisation that they both shared this passion, as well as a taste for everything mystical, witchy, nature-inspired and downright pretty! The jewellery pieces are handmade in East London, using mainly brass, then are 24k gold plated. They are delicately embellished with all sorts of beads and charms - glass, crystal, shells, pearls - sourced on different holiday trips: beads from France, amethysts and citrines from Australia, charms from Japan or shells from Indonesia.

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Kat and Juliette are constantly inspired to create new pieces. They love the idea of variety - (more is always more!) but prefer not to design by season, instead, they have created imaginary “Universes�, each one a collection of ideas that are loosely based on a particular aesthetic. It’s all about stepping inside an eccentric world and let your imagination run free!

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KEVIN 70


SABO 71


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Kevin Sabo (not to be mistaken with Kevin Sorbo the American actor better know for playin Hercules in Hercules a few decades ago, or, with SABO, the politically conservative street artist from Los Angeles) is an artist from Virginia.

"Thematically, I dance with the idea of domestic spaces. My home consumes me with the maintenance I believe it deserves. My plants need watered, my cat needs her wet food in the morning, my kitchen begs to be used and my partner needs to be loved. At 26, I understand the concept of a happy homebody. I have created a safe haven inside my own walls, which makes me certain that my experiences outside of art-making are the reason why my figures never want to break the border of their canvas."

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The Torment Of Shopping I am not an anxious person. I am usually one chill motherfucker, and probably to a fault.

I

’ve never been nervous about making it on time to school, I’ve never gotten scared walking alone at night, and I was so relaxed during the SATs that I actually fell asleep (probably why I didn’t get into NYU). I mean, I am one step away from gutting a fish on my desk like the post-epiphany Peter Gibbons. One thing, however, makes me a nervous wreck. Shopping.

"No, I don’t think it makes me cool to hate something other girls like to do. (I’ve cried during Girls and I hate sports.) But shopping is the most anxiety-inducing and daunting task I am required to do." I used to go shopping just so I could hang out with my cool friends, but I soon learned the anxiety of shopping coupled with the anxiety I get by trying to impress them is just not worth it. The only time I partake in this inhumanly stressful activity is when I have literally nothing to wear. And no, I’m not one of those assholes who throws that word around for no reason. When I finally do force myself to go shopping, this is my tactic. I walk full speed down the aisles, head

down, eyes darting frantically around for some acceptable clothing. I listen to my music, turned all the way up to drown out the awful electronic/pop music the stores play. (This is the kind rubes think is played at fashion shows.) If you’re one of those people who don’t understand how shopping can be stressful, think of it this way. You’re given a two-hour window and a set amount of money to search THOUSANDS of clothing items and find the perfect ones which are totally worth your money, all while making your way through packs of tweens and…GO! Being an economics major, you think of time as money. Time wasted doing something you hate (shopping) = time wasted doing something else you hate (working). So even if I don’t end up being anything, every hour I spent shopping is $8.50 wasted (or whatever those commie libs raised the minimum wage up to now). And what’s the payoff? If you pick out something you don’t end up liking, that equals (the money you wasted on the clothes + your wage equivalent of time you spent shopping) of sunk costs.

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Not to mention the opportunity cost of Once you buy what you want, don’t relax, staying at home and playing Minecraft because the store has one last obstacle with your cat on your lap. for you to pass. On your way out, don’t look back. For some reason, the perfect Even though New York is known as the item appears only when you are done fashion capital of America, most people waiting in the checkout line and are on here just end up shopping at the same your way to freedom. Keep your eyes on chain stores you can find in Branson, the door. You are Orpheus leading your Missouri. wife out of Hades. Turn your head, and you are doomed to repeat your journey I guess my favorite of these is Urban through hell infinitely. Outfitters (ugh). I’ve bought a few of my metal band shirts from there, which If you’re a poor or Jewey girl like me, you only sell because they look vintage and buy your makeup from the drugstore. because metal is one of the few music They don’t offer samples, so you have to genres socially accepted by hipsters. go through the trouble of sneakily taking There’s the extremely boring H&M and the plastic off everything, finding where the super-pretentious UniQlo. Then they sell mirrors, then walk back and there’s the worst of them all, Forever 21. forth between the makeup and the mirrors holding your partially stolen goods It stands there in the middle of Times to try them on. Of course, all the makeSquare, the dreaded leviathan, as bright up is shitty and watered down. You start as a thousand suns and crawling with verbally abusing the models in makeup hordes of teens who think wearing fedo- ads. “Of course this disappearing makeras makes them fashion savvy. It delves up is fine for YOU—you’re PERFECT deep into the ground, down into the looking!” “Sorry that I don’t look like seven layers of hell. This store is full of you, I happen to need paint-like makeup trickery, an easy task, like finding a sim- just to look DECENT!” I want to put a ple black dress is turned into a three- mirror at the end of a moving walkway hour-long journey. You may think you that ends in spinning blades and watch see the dress you want on a mannequin, every genetically spoiled cunt die. What only to find it’s nowhere near where it is better place than a drugstore to have displayed, but rather on the third circle a mental breakdown about how you’ll of hell. never be happy in life because you’re not pretty? You think you’ve found what you’re looking for again, only to find you’ve been At least all this low-quality makeup is wandering through the fatties’ section. cheap! Well, no, last time I bought drugYou find something sufficient but do not store makeup it actually ended up bedare go into the dressing room for fear ing $85. In economics that translates to you won’t like the way it looks and you’ll “You got fucked.” have to start the whole task over again.

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If you’re shopping for some really embarrassing items, i.e., asshole cream or adult diapers or 99-cent romance novels, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Thrift stores must be perfect for a Daria-esque alterna-teen like you, right? WRONG. Thrift stores are for rich people who want to look poor. They thrive off a circle jerk of hipsters who try to one-up each other with who can buy the Here are my suggestions, and no, I’ve ugliest, dirtiest piece of clothing. never needed any of the above: When I talk about thrift stores, I’m not talking about the Goodwill in the Bronx, Go to a store nor am I talking about the kind that spewith a self-checkout line. cialize in punk/metal vintage clothing Wear sunglasses. Yes, people will think that have sex dolls hanging from the you’re a douche, but it’s better than ceiling (those places are cool). making eye contact with butt cream in I mean the Beacon’s Closets and Buffayour hands. lo Exchanges which try to hide the fact that they are corporate chains through Wear a hoodie a hipster facade. The people who shop and bring a backpack. at these places are total douchebags. I Always be wary of the cameras and oth- once saw a girl looking through a pile of er people around. If you don’t look like vinyl records and getting excited about you’re stealing something, you’re doing finding such great jazz artists. Stop trying to be Enid Coleslaw, asshole—you like it wrong. Taylor Swift, and no, you can’t hear the difference between vinyl and MP3. Get two solid folders before going into the Another thing that really section you need to be in. bothers me about these places is way they’re run. Find your aisle, then find the part of the aisle selling the least embarrassing stuff These stores actually pick and choose and stay there until the coast is clear. what they buy from sellers based on When you’ve acquired the contraband, their fashion sense. Doesn’t this totalhead straight for the self-checkout life. ly defeat the purpose of a thrift store? Scan your stuff while still covering it Instead of letting the customers decide with a folder. what looks good and what doesn’t, they decide themselves. The workers who When you’re done, stuff your stuff pick and choose what to buy are no in your backpack and never go worse than the group of popular girls back to that store or neighborhood in high school who dictated the fashagain. ion standards to the rest of the school.

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People shop at thrift stores to be totally unique, but in reality, they are just conforming to the fashion image of these mini-bureaucracies. Back before my innocence was corrupted by puberty, Victoria’s Secret was a happy place. I used to come here and poke the padded bras for fun and laugh at all the naughty images on the wall. Now these stores are a place of embarrassment and self-hatred. If you need a quick fix for your narcissism, a few minutes staring at the pictures on the walls of a Victoria’s Secret oughta cure you. From the moment you walk through the doors, you are gazed upon judgmentally by the perfect looking women on the walls. You imagine every person you walk past is thinking, “Who are you trying to look hot for?” Every worker who asks if you need help is obviously picturing you naked in order to tell what size you are. I’m actually the rare type of person who looks better in underwear/swimwear than in clothes, but no one here can tell. The fitting room is my only sanctuary from all the X-ray vision. Whenever I’m in here, I always take pictures for the “see, you don’t look THAT bad” folder in my phone. After this, I ball everything up into a little indistinguishable ball of fabric and head toward the checkout line, trying not to make eye contact. I see the occasional boyfriend who has been dragged along by his girl. They stand there with their eyes glazed over, truly hopeless. I shoot them an “I know how you feel, man” look. As if that whole experience isn’t embarrassing enough. The final “fuck you” the store has to put all your stuff in one of their big, pink, noticeable “HEY, EVERYBODY LOOK I JUST BOUGHT UNDERWEAR” bags.

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If you know me, never get me a gift card to a clothing store, because it will guilttrip me into shopping. Giving me a tarantula will cause me less anxiety. And don’t say, “Hey wanna go shopping?” unless you want to spend your day with Tweak from South Park. If this didn’t make you have an epiphany that suddenly opened your eyes to the horrors of shopping, or realize this activity was never really fun but rather an illusion forced upon you by EVIL CORPORATIONS, I guess I can never understand you.

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-APOLOGY GIRL

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Tokio AN INTERVIEW WITH REI SHITO

Where is your favorite place in NY? I like vintage shops in NY. Unfortunately I could not make enough time to enjoy NY because I was crazy busy at fashion week. Next time, I’ll try to go to Brooklyn! because it is hot place for art and fashion. What is the main difference between Tokyo and NY in street fashion? I find many teens or kids in unique and “too individual style” in Tokyo, though I rarely find such a style’s teens in NY. Recently I think Tokyo’s men’s style has started to become a trend internationally, especially in NY and Paris. What is the attraction of your job as a street fashion photographer? It is that I can face each person fully. When I shoot street fashion photos, I can see a bit of their personality behind the fashion, what is important to them and their humanity. Through I listen to the story of their life, I’ve realized that people are individuals and not all the same. That’s the pricelessness of humans. We sometimes talk about very personal things. It is unique relationship that I can feel only through street fashion shooting.What are the main diferences that you feel between Japan and other counties? When I go overseas, usually it is during fashion week. So, the shooting is crazy fast. Very different from the usual street photos in Tokyo - I cannot talk to them. But, I love to work overseas because I can find a lot of high quality fashion styles. What's the best lesson from photograping strangers on the streets? If I had to choose one thing it is“never give up and keep going”. For example, shooting in

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NY, I would have to work in negative 12 degree weather for up to 6 hours or more. But I love the challenge and through the work I can learn and gain experiences. When shooting overseas, I’m aside many of my photographer friends who are also my rivals and they boost my motivation. Where does your inspiration come from? Who ever I’m shooting becomes my inspiration. Just the other day, I posted Anna Dello Russo’s street fashion photo in my blog “Style from Tokyo” and I thought I wanted to try to wear her long skirt look while at work, and I wore the same type of long skirt the next day. What is your mission in fashion industry? I cannot say anything cool. That‘s a difficult question. I think I should do faithfully what I love. To do faithfully what I love is finally to make the other people happy. I know I have to produce a lot of work but if I worry too much, the quality would decrease. So, I work with inspiration and I’ll try not to think of the pressure and get on with it. Any fashion advice for the youngsters out there? If I was to give advice to young people, I would say enjoy yourself and work through the errors and use them to your advantage. Within fashion it is important to keep clean and not to mix fashion with just trying to stand out. I recently met a guy in Tokyo fashion week - he had full white hair and a lot of piercings on his face. But his skin was very clean, so he was a unique individual but also had cleanliness to him. What do you bring with you wherever you go? iPhone, FUJIFILM X-T1 (camera), my house key and cash. What is your weirdest hobby? Cleaning my shoes. I could spend ages cleaning shoes without being bored. I have got that from my parents as they looked after their shoes very well.

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PIZZA

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Original by Vladislav Spivak

TUESDAYS

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PublicHouse FASHION ISSUE 2020 Created by Daniel Corrochio Edited by Mila Wood Special Effects Hal Furness MKT Kaylee Collet Cover by Jvdas Berra Back cover by Laurent Chani Index by Vladislav Spivak Guest Contributers Apology Girl Donald Crunk Arvind Dilawar Paul Hernandez Audrey Burges Artists Kevin Sabo Justin Bettman Benjamin Simon and Dirk Schuster Salvatore Matarazzo Saida Sniegane Special thanks to Bebe Zeva Gildas LoaĂŤc Rodrigo Araneda Icon Printing Grand Central Publishing

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Issue 12 - Fashion (the car boot issue)  

Preview to PublicHouse Issue 12 Fashion. Get the full version at PublicHouseMag.com

Issue 12 - Fashion (the car boot issue)  

Preview to PublicHouse Issue 12 Fashion. Get the full version at PublicHouseMag.com

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