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Q

February 13, 2020

SEXY TO SINCERE VDAY GIFT IDEAS

inform | inspire

E V O L y a S y d o Everyb

Q’s 2020

Valentine Love Issue

ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT IN BED QUEER WAYS TO BE A BETTER BOO ATLANTA’S BEST EVENTS TOP THE LGBTQ AGENDA

Q Shots The Q 10 Queer Things The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta


LOCATIONS IN

BUCKHEAD • VIRGINIA HIGHLANDS • SANDY SPRINGS

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At Your Service To advertise, contact us at sales@theqatl.com or 404-949-7071

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EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM

Love Is

LOVE

RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM

WITH QUEER ATLANTA COUPLES of interest, the very best in

ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM

edition of Q makes your Valentine world go round.

themed events, relationship advice and a few gift ideas, this week’s For the third year, we profile LGBTQ

PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE BUCK COOKE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BILL DICKINSON JIM FARMER BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS BENTLEY HUDGINS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER VAVA VROOM RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

Atlanta relationships in the annual Q Love

Issue. Photographer Russ Youngblood meets lovers in their element for the photo essay,

and I asked them for tips and tricks to keepMIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

ing love fresh as the years go by.

From country FarmHers to urban

queerlanthropists, from performers to

professionals, we think you’ll love meeting them. Couples and thruples and polys, oh my!

If you’re also lucky in love, 10 Queer Things maps the road to being a better boo, and Q Gifts offers ideas from some of our advertising partners for last minute tokens of your affection. For the loved,

lovelorn and loveless alike, the Queer Agenda calendar lays out the week’s best events for the big day on the 14th and beyond

This issue also features Q Shots photos and advertisers to love as

well. The Q advice column wraps the week by raising eyebrows with queer conundrums and my sage advice as a queer of longstanding. While you soak in all that content, we’re already preparing for next

week’s print edition, and we’re posting fresh stories on our homesite at theQatl.com. In the meantime, let me hear your feedback and suggestions via mike@theQatl.com.

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10 QUEER THINGS EMBRACE DIFFERENCES

All your interests won’t match. Be excited simply that they are excited, and let them have their “thing.”

KINDNESS OVER ‘WINNING’ Arguments come and go; superior stubbornness is forever.

How Valentines can extend the Season of Love through the whole year

WAYS TO BE A BETTER

Sweetheart By Mike Fleming

RESPECT THEIR FRIENDSHIPS

Their friends were there long before you, and will still be there whether you are or not.

SIGNS OF ATTRACTION

Let them know that even their smallest idiosyncrasies, movements and gestures make you hot. 6

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TALK TALK

BE A FRIEND FIRST

Start and keep up your end of intellectual, stimulating conversations.

Ask your friends what “needs work,” take what they say to heart, and apply it to your relationship.

ADD TO, NOT ‘COMPLETE’

You’re both “complete” as you are, or should be. Find ways to enhance each other’s experience.

LISTEN

For real, though. Care enough about them to care what they have to say.

SILENT TREATMENT

As much as you love talking, wallow in comfortable quiet too, and find ways to spend time apart.

SURPRISES

Impromptu date nights. Thoughtful gestures. Gifts of the heart. Go! theQatl.com

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GOOD EATS

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Emory Point 1540 Avenue Pl Atlanta, GA 30329 404.320.0165


COVER STORY Q

E. Vincent MARTINEZ and Alex R. PAGE Years Together: 3.5 Vincent: fashionando.net and Doggies on the Catwalk Foundation Alex: Marketing /PR How they met We met co-hosting a charity event. We had an initial lunch meeting about it and started dating. Their best relationship advice Communication is key! You have to talk to each other. Also, respect individuality. Remember why you fell in love and don’t try and change them. Keeping things interesting

s i e v Lo

We married last fall and love the union it represents. We’re building a life together, personally and professionally, and that is very exciting. We love to stay home with our dogs and Netflix, but we also love traveling together. It’s all about balance.

E V O L Final thoughts

Don’t overthink. Let your heart win.

tches a m e v o l TQ B G L e v fi t TL Mee A e h t n i g lovin d n a g n i v i l lenlove on Va r e e u q t u and talk abo d couples te it ho better to m m o c ve r y than those e it work e k a m tine’s Day o h w us c lusters polyamoro ? of the year t these fas e other day m d o lo b -Young significant u s s B owe n ir R e r th e h h p it a r om e w out P hotog BT Q s a t h estions ab u G q L g l a in c b lo o r me p cinating ed them so k s a e w d n others, a y in love.  being luck leming

By Mike F

W

PHOTOS BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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LOVE continued

PHOTOS BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD 10

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PHOTOS COURTESY TRAINING ROOM ATL theQatl.com

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Taylor ALXNDR and Avery WILLIS Taylor ALXNDR and Lawrence CARRASCO Taylor: Musician, drag queen and community organizer. Founder and director of Southern Fried Queer Pride and House of Alxndr Avery: Barista, student, organizer and drag king Lawrence: Gunsmith, gun salesman and drag king Taylor & Avery: 2 years, 2 months. Taylor & Lawrence: 8 months How they met Taylor & Avery: We met at Georgia State University

at the LGBTQ student org. We knew each other for a year before we started flirting and started dating.

Taylor & Lawrence: We met at a drag show in Athens. A mutual friend and fellow performer introduced us to one another that night. Typical date night Taylor & Avery: We’re both busy queers, so usually

versations when they’re needed. Pay attention to those

Netflix, or going out to a drag show together. Every

Lawrence: Love language is definitely important. I’ve not

our date night is either relaxing at home and watching once in a while when we have the time and energy,

we’ll go out for more intentional dates. Bowling is one of our go-tos, and movies.

Taylor & Lawrence: Usually it’s going to see a movie

and grabbing some dinner. We are infamous for a ‘Netflix and Chill’ kind of night, followed by desserts and

snacks. Sometimes our date night is taking Lawrence’s dog, Sydney for walks. Relationship advice

people and hold them close.

only become more fluent in my partner’s, but I began to understand that my own love language is changing. It

definitely takes patience, especially coming from primarily monogamous relationships in the past. Keeping it interesting Avery: I love that Taylor’s one of my best friends, and

my favorite person in the world. They’re always the first person I want to tell good news to and they’re always there if/when I get bad news.

Taylor: Communicate. You can never over-commu-

Lawrence: Taylor loves to keep me guessing, but in a

communicating and checking in. And never look for

closer keeps me excited for what the future holds and

nicate. Especially being polyamorous, you’re always

love. Love will find you. Regular, everyday things have become ways we express our love for each other: gro-

cery shopping, cleaning, etc. It’s not always about dates or grand gestures, but just showing up for each other. Avery: The people who are about you and care about the relationship you’re building (platonic, sexual,

romantic, familial) will be willing to have the hard con-

good way. Surprising me daily as we grow closer and how we will grow.

Taylor: I’m excited to see the person Avery is becoming.

I’m so proud of all that they do and how hard they work. I really value the vulnerability Lawrence and I have

created with each other, and I’m excited to be even more open with him. Being with Lawrence has taught me it’s okay to let go and not be in control sometimes.

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LOVE continued Q

Ashley and Hanna RODGERS Years Together: 4.5 together, 1.5 married Ashley: Owner/Operator of organic farm Rodgers Greens & Roots, Douglasville Hanna: LCSW therapist in private practice, Decatur Typical date night We absolutely love visiting one of the restaurants/chefs Ashley sells her organic produce to weekly. From Miller Union, King + Duke, and St. Cecelia, to 8 Arm, By George and Bacchanalia to name a few. It’s an incredible experience having chefs show us everything they are doing with our produce. Best relationship advice. We have both most definitely learned that addressing our childhood wounds is required for us to have a healthy relationship. How our parents modeled trust, attachment, communication and love is how we will treat our partners, whether that’s

good or bad. … It’s about team-spiritedness, apologizing and committing to work through it together. Biggest surprise as the years go by

The thing that has surprised us the most has been the way people in society (even OTP) have treated us differently once we were legally married. Even rural people tend to take us more seriously, versus when we were a committed couple who owned land and a farm together but didn’t have that one legal document. Keeping things interesting

The most exciting next step for us is having our first child this August and growing a family of our own. We love daydreaming about our child exploring our farm — full of curiosity with their hands in the soil pulling carrots with us. Final thoughts

Valentine’s Day can be really hard for a lot of people. If you have a friend who is grieving a recent break up, scoop them up and be there for each other. It’s a lot easier going through this life with people who truly see and value us as we are. PHOTOS BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

LOVE continued

Cory KLOSE and Andrew SCHMIDT

couch and eat while we catch up on whatever TV show we’re currently hooked on.

Years Together: 8 Andrew: Music Teacher

Be open and upfront about what you are looking for. Be in love with yourself and honest about what you need from a relationship.

How they met

Keeping things interesting

We met singing in a professional choir, Kinnara, up in Princeton, NJ. They’re based in Atlanta now, and we still both sing with them.

We’re goofy and we laugh together all the time. That never gets old.

Cory: Nonprofit Executive

Typical date night Cooking while drinking wine and laughing at My Dad Wrote A Porno before we sit on the PHOTOS BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD 14

theQatl.com

Best relationship tip

Final thoughts We’ve been here two years, and we’re really glad to call Atlanta home. We’ve both made some incredible friends and love the scene here. Keep it gay, ATL!


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PHOTOS COURTESY TRAINING ROOM ATL theQatl.com

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Q

LOVE continued

Tameeka HUNTER and Rebecca GLATZER Years Together: 17 together, 7 married Tameeka: Doctoral Candidate in PhD program; soon-to-be Professor Rebecca: Legal Recruiter How they met

At one point, we worked together, but the relationship began when a mutual friend invited us both out for dinner. Secrets to success

Challenge your expectations about who your ideal person is. At first glance, we have nothing in common: Tameeka is African-American, has a disability, and is Christian. Rebecca is white, non-disabled, and Jewish. However, we have a lot in common: We both value family, genuine people, great food and education. Our core values are the constant that has kept us together for 17 years. Biggest surprise as the years go by

We are not the same people who met 17 years ago, but we genuinely like and respect each other. We’ve grown together, which has been a pleasant surprise. Another surprise is how much humor has gotten us through hard times. Being willing to laugh at ourselves and to make each other laugh has bonded us. Keeping things interesting

We really value and respect each other, and we are invested in each other’s goals, hopes and dreams. Seeing the person you love achieve what they want in life is extremely exciting. Final thoughts

Real commitment is a decision that you make daily, and love is a verb! We made the decision to never give up on each other, even during tough times. Life has definitely tested us, but we came out stronger. PHOTOS BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD 18

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA

The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta February 13 – February 19

THURSDAY, FEB. 13 Ross Matthews

The gay gadabout and RuPaul judge tours behind his new Name Drop

book (which is illustrated by Q’s own Brad Gibson) @ Variety Playhouse, 8 p.m. varietyplayhouse.com Galentine’s Day

The gays make Leslie Knope proud @ Guac y Margys, 12 noon – close. guacymargys.com

Ross Matthews, Feb. 13

27 in Heaven

Evrgrn, Feb. 14

Taylor Alxndr celebrates

their birthday and a new music video release @

The Best Damn Queen Show Ever

The Bakery, 10 p.m.

A show celebrating the music of Queen and the genius of Freddie

facebook.com/

Mercury @ Variety Playhouse, 8 p.m. varietyplayhouse.com

houseofalxndr

Heart Throb

It’s a “Valentine’s Day Hookup Party” like only can be done @ Mary’s, 10 p.m. marysatlanta.com Evrgrn

The lesbian duo performs a VDay set @ My Sister’s Room, 8 p.m. mysistersroom.com

SATURDAY, FEB. 15 DickLit

A queer-led burlesque experience “Exposing the Modern

Bless Yr Heart, Feb. 14

Inbox” @ Red Light Café, 9 p.m. redlightcafe.com Horse Meat Disco

Designing Women Live

The London party crew that wowed Atlanta last

classic with Process Theatre Company @ OnStage

series @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

year returns to rock Vicki Powell’s Deep South

Gay men in drag performing episodes of the ‘80s Atlanta, 8 p.m. Runs through Feb. 23. onstageatlanta.com Holy Sh!t

SUNDAY, FEB.16 Horse Meat Disco, Feb. 15

A queer-curated comedy night in the queer-run confines @ Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living Room, 10 p.m. sisterlouisaschurch.com

FRIDAY, FEB. 14 Bless Yr Heart

Only Southern Fried Queer Pride can put on a queer Valentine dance party like this one @ The Bakery, 10 p.m. southernfriedqueerpride.com Sweet & Sultry

Ariel Allegro headlines this queer burlesque show emceed by the one and only Theresa Davis @ Red Light Café, 8 p.m. redlightcafe.com 20

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The Armorettes

The camp drag crazies with the hearts of gold

perform their weekly show @ Midtown Moon, 8 p.m.

facebook.com/midtownmoon

MONDAY, FEB. 17 The Boys in the Band

Wussy and Out on Film screen the

iconic, if problematic, 1970 film about gay men @ Plaza Theatre, 7 p.m. wussymag.com, outonfilm.org

Find an expanded Queer Agenda calendar for the weekend every Thursday at theQatl.com.

The Boys in the Band, Feb. 17


NARK’S MAKEOUT PARTY AT HERETIC

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q SHOTS

NFFLA SUPER BOWL PARTY AT BLAKE’S

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY PATRICK SAUNDERS


Coming This Spring...

• Spring Sports (March 5) • Dining Guide (March 19) • Spring Preview (April 9)

Reserve Your Advertising Now!

For advertising, email sales@theqatl.com or call 404-949-7071 theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

SUPER BOWL AT WOOFS

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD


Q

GIFTS VALENTINE’S COUPLES MASSAGE Includes champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries G Salon Spa Store Feb. 14-15, $160 gsalonatl.com

Give & GET

Valentine’s Day ideas from sexy to sincere, from spa to sumptuous HIDDEN SEDUCTION UNDERWEAR Black garter, $25 Brushstrokes facebook.com/BrushstrokesAtlanta

FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS Various prices Foxgloves & Ivy Floral Design foxgloves.biz

1 DOZEN LONGSTEM RED ROSES 10% discount if you mention Q magazine James Hurley Designs jameshurleydesigns.com

GIGO CROPTOP Various colors, $23 Brushstrokes facebook.com/BrushstrokesAtlanta DJX HARNESS Various colors, $29 Brushstrokes facebook.com/BrushstrokesAtlanta 28

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MALE POWER UNDERWEAR Various styles and colors from $8.99 Southern Nights snvonline.com AROMATHERAPY MASSAGE OIL Intimate Earth, various scents and sizes, from $14.99 Southern Nights snvonline.com

HEMP SEED MASSAGE & BODY OIL Earthly Body, various scents and sizes, from $6.99 Southern Nights snvonline.com

OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY!

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17 SCREEN HI-DEF VIDEO ARCADE HUGE SELECTION OF MALE ENHANCERS OVER 10,000 DVDs FOR SALE & RENT EXPANSIVE TOY & NOVELTY SECTION FLESH TOYS, PULSATORS & LUBRICANTS

2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd. • Atlanta, GA 30324 • 404-728-0701 • www.snvonline.com theQatl.com

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THEQ?!

Speak UP

your partner’s hands, fingers and other parts. React when they hit the spot(s).

As for salad tossing, health experts would want us to mention the readily available Hepatitis A & B vaccines for both part-

Asking for and getting what you want in bed

ners. If you’re good to go, go for the goods.

Of all the people I’ve been with, only a few have what it takes to really get me in the mood. They expect me to throw my heels in the air and give it to them fast and hard like it’s $5 Footlong Day at Subway and I’m punching frequent customer cards.

when you ask for what you want. Here are a few tips:

Q

You’ve got to talk to the lady before you come through the gate, am I right? A finger, a tongue, or even a hint of passion should be the standard, not the exception. I feel like foreplay doesn’t get a lot of consideration anymore, especially for us bottoms when it comes to anal. Is it me? Is it asses in general? Is it disrespect for bottoms and subs? Is it disrespect for anyone’s needs but their own? Please help me tell people that a little foreplay goes a long way? I’m not saying it should be all my way, but it shouldn’t be their way or the highway either.

Finally, reciprocity is the name of the game. There are no hotter words than, “my turn.”

Most partners will be grateful for a little direction and clarity Empower yourself to get what you want. You both deserve pleasure.

Choose the tone and setting to talk about it. Be clear and concise, not euphemistic. Make the talk part of the foreplay. Make positive statements: “I’d love it if you do,” not “I hate it when you don’t…”

Ask them about their needs.

Dear Sub Way: We hear you, but can’t complain about not getting something you never asked for. As good as you are at expressing yourself, which probably makes you a super fun bottom, you could be embarrassed to say the words when the time comes to ask for what you want. Not only may it be a lack of consideration on the top’s part, it can be more likely for you as a naturally drawn submissive to be upfront with your desires. You can’t buy into the attitudes of some doms (the less successful ones, I might add) who dismiss subs. You have just as much right to get what you want as they do. Some people do have a love/hate relationship with anal pleasures. Talk about it. Let partners know you’re ready and the coast is clear, so to speak. Consider showering together not only as fun foreplay but a subconscious support of being spic and span. If you like dirty talk, say it straight up, and show your excitement. If you’re too shy to say something, then try directing 30

theQatl.com

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON


Profile for Q ATLus Magazine

Q Magazine Atlanta | February 13, 2020  

LGBTQ Atlanta couples, queer Valentine's Day, 10 steps to better relationships, how to ask for what you want in bed, more.

Q Magazine Atlanta | February 13, 2020  

LGBTQ Atlanta couples, queer Valentine's Day, 10 steps to better relationships, how to ask for what you want in bed, more.