Q Magazine Atlanta | April 16, 2020

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Q inform | inspire


April 16, 2020



Isolation Beyond Boredom and Binging


The Q The Queer Agenda Q News The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta




YOU’RE HURTLING TOWARD a month in isolation. The denial about the severity led to the declarations of fortitude, an oversat-

uration of electronic media, an obsession with cleaning and orga-

nizing, attempts at sparking old athletic and artistic interests, then pure unadulterated boredom.

This week’s Q moves into month two of

the queerantine with ideas to help branch


out and settle in. If the stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, it’s time to turn that final

phase into motivation and not immobility. MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

Those four walls are caving in on you, so

it’s time to redress them. Not only will it

freshen your outlook, it gives you something to do. Throw open the curtains and re-imagine your space with 20 low- or no-cost tips in our Q Home feature. We supplement it with ways to make your

bedroom sexier, because even that is getting tedious when you have to stare at each other 24-7.

Speaking of tedium, you’ve exhausted your recipe repertoire, and it’s time to branch out. Ian Aber has been mining his friends for quar-

antine cooking and living vicariously through other people’s calorie consumption. Q Cooking features several of his ideas to expand your kitchen horizons.

Of course, we also have Q Advice, Q News and even a quarantine

edition of the Q Agenda calendar of LGBTQ events, albeit online and from home.

You already know that our coverage continues every weekday with fresh posts, queer news, and continuing coverage of LGBTQ

Atlanta’s handling of the COVID crisis. Reach out to us with your stories at theQatl.com, or to me directly via mike@theQatl.com.





Ten to get exterior ‘refresh’ during coronavirus closure TEN ATLANTA IS GETTING A FRESH NEW LOOK ON ITS patio, a new coat of paint for its exterior and a revamped logo as the bar remains closed due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Questions arose about the future of the popular gay bar after

its signage was removed from the building and its website and

most of its social media accounts went dark. But Ten is staying gay and staying put, according to owner James Nelson.

“Every couple of years we do a refresh of different areas of

the bar,” he told Project Q Atlanta. “It’s been that way since

day one. I made a decision a few weeks ago that I wanted to

revamp the patio, repaint the building and I thought it would be nice to refresh the logo at the same time.”

The patio will change to a tiki-style layout, the stucco part of

Student group wants Georgia Tech to fund anti-LGBTQ speaker A PRO-LIFE STUDENT GROUP FILED A FEDERAL lawsuit against Georgia Tech after the school’s student

government denied funding for an on-campus appearance by “known homophobe” Alveda King.

“It is discriminatory and unconstitutional to withhold funding from student activity fees that students have

already paid into simply because a group holds a pro-life,

conservative, or religious belief,” according to the lawsuit. Last September, Students for Life asked the SGA for

$2,350 to pay King’s speaking fee. The SGA denied the

funding and subsequent appeals for reimbursement. Sev-

eral members of the SGA cited King’s long anti-LGBTQ history, including her comments at a 2010 Atlanta rally

where she compared same-sex marriage to genocide. Min-

utes of the SGA meetings were attached to ADF’s lawsuit, citing comments by SGA House members against King’s public stances against LGBTQ people.

A Georgia Tech spokesperson told Project Q Atlanta that the school does not comment on the specifics of pending


Ten Atlanta

the building will be painted “deep iron/charcoal” and the logo

will change to the roman numeral for 10, according to Nelson.

LGBTQ Atlanta official gets free meals to non-profits, seniors ATLANTA CITY COUNCILMEMBER ANTONIO BROWN launched a free meal program that will feed thousands of homeless people and senior citizens during the coronavirus pandemic. Some 15,000 meals a week will be distributed to CHRIS 180, Atlanta Community Food Bank, Hosea Feed the Hungry, Safehouse Outreach and 19 senior living facilities throughout the city. “We are facing a critical moment in our community,” Brown said in a press release. “This was organized to provide support to those in need. We Antonio Brown want to help ensure as many people as possible are safe and have access to services.” Brown is the only openly LGBTQ member of the council. He partnered with Gateway Gourmet, a company that provides boxed meals for airlines. “The philanthropic group found out that Gateway Gourmet was going to lay off a ton of jobs,” he told Project Q Atlanta. “So they came together to fund those meals.”


The group’s effort saved 900 jobs, according to Brown.

King is a niece of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Read the full stories by Patrick Saunders, as well as our ongoing coverage of the coronavirus pandemic, at theQatl.com.


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Six eating trends when there’s nothing to do but cook and sit By Ian Aber ONE CURVE THAT WON’T BE FLATTENING during the COVID-19 crisis will be the curves on our bodies. We’re left with very little to do but eat and sit. We live in trying times for sure, a time of trying new recipes and adventuring in the kitchen. I feel guilty about everything I eat in the way a lot of folks with weight issues do. Demi Lovato sings, “I'm guilty ’bout everything that I eat (Every single thing),” and I’m like “Yes to that all day and pass the pancake syrup.”

Someone posted that they were having chili dogs,

and I was so consumed with jealousy when I realized we did not have all the ingredients for chili dogs at

my house. Then I realized we had hot dogs and a pack of Pillsbury crescent rolls and some everything bagel

seasoning. We made everything bagel crescent roll hot dogs, and they were amazing.

Suzy Homemaker, Sour Patch Edition Society as we know it may be finished, there is no bet-

ter time to make a sourdough starter. In the ‘90s, all the gay men I knew only used their ovens to bake Special

K. Now that we are riding out the clock on Armageddon, we swapped cat tranquilizers for hungry yeast.

Comfort Food is King The emotional attachment to what we ate in our youth has brought back meals that our mothers and grandmothers made. It’s not just about the food itself; the act of making it brings you closer to loved ones you

may not be able to see. Comfort food is also code for, “I don’t care how bad this is for me, I’m eating it so

just shut up already.” I also classify pancake syrup as comfort food, so what do I know.

Social distancing has forced me to find ways to feed my obsession with food without actually feeding my face every minute of every day, and what I found myself doing from the beginning was asking folks on social media, “What you quarantine cooking tonight?”

Eating Your Feelings

What I found was a community of folks who are trying to make the best of their situation, the ingredients that have on hand and the skills they do or do not possess in the kitchen.

deliberately trigger any food allergies you may have.

Seeing what other folks eat in a day puts my own portions into perspective and I find myself eating less in general, but also not stressing about what I do eat quite as much. Here are the top trends in pandemic quarantine cooking.

People Be Eating Of the hundred or so folks commenting on my food posts, folks are getting as many as five meals a day, and I am here for it. I didn’t think skinny people even really ate until all this started. 6

Inspiring Each Other


Lots of folks have posted that a meal is often “ciga-

rettes, gin and regret” or “sadness and 20 peeps” and

those count as selfcare in this crisis. Try to limit your truly self-destructive meals, and make sure not to

Don’t eat all the ice cream if you are lactose intolerant

and then fart aggressively for four days at a time. If you do, stay six feet away from me with that nastiness.

Supporting Local Restaurants The restaurant industry is being decimated by the

restrictions but have shifted to carry-out menus and

delivery. In some cases, they’re even selling ingredients as groceries, and folks are making sure to make several meals when possible. Even when there is little else to do but cook, take the night off on occasion to order

out. It’s a great way to support the businesses you did

before this all started. When the pandemic is over, we want those places and restaurant culture to still exist.





The Best Queer Things to Do in Quarantine This Week April 16 - April 25



SFQP Online

Lots of your favorite nightspots are hosting par-

Southern Fried Queer Pride is on it,

ties on Twitch, Zoom, Facebook and Instagram

y’all. Start with this Black Queer

to help raise funds for their employees. Atlanta

Artists Panel @sfqp.info, and

Eagle, Xion and Mary’s are among the most pro-

keep going with an open mic at

Instagram Live @sfqp on April 23;

the Big Ass Telethon on April 25 @

twitch.tv (info below); and the Cur-

tain Call drag show on April 30 @sfqp.

info. Keep up at facebook.com/sfqpride. Icon: Gaga

The diva-inspired For All Humans event series goes digital with local and national performers

and you serving Gaga looks @ twitch.tv, 8 p.m. facebook.com/forallhumans

lific, but be sure to check in with all your favorites.

That goes for your favorite queens and comedians too. Most, like Brigitte Bidet (photo), are online and helping us escape. Redecorate

Those four walls are caving in on you. Reimagine them with our guide to low- and no-cost ideas in this issue.

MONDAY, APRIL 18 Gayming

Every single night, Gamemaster Herb and his husbands host video games and great tunes and convos @ twitch.tv/3bearsgaming


It’s crucial to get outside,

Binge TV

and luckily it’s springtime.

Quarantine streaming, but make it queer. Check our list of the best

Order or pick up some

LGBTQ Netflix, Hulu and Prime shows @ theQatl.com.

seeds, then finger a hole

Play Dress-up

until something pops up

Dig around and find the best outfit for today, then strut your stuff.

@ home, all day every day.

Extra points for posting slow-mo, time-lapse or over-augmented runway moments.

Virtual Happy Hour

Everything social is online now. Stay in for wig parties, hat nights, first

FRIDAY, APRIL 17 Antivirus

Join DJ Neon the Glowgobear

every Wednesday and Friday to

benefit Eagle employees @ Zoom,

dates, clubbing, and even church. Exercise

All that cooking and binging might make ya thiccer than you prefer to be. Find your in-home fitness routine @ youtube.com. Buzzing, Bleaching & Bangs

Facebook Live and Periscope, 6 p.m.

We predict three hair trends: Longer styles, buzzed

Follow at facebook.com/glowgobear

beauties, and crazy cuts in the absence of barbers and

stylists. You do you.

Thirst Trap

You’re already walking around the house naked, you’re bored and horny,

and you are itching for some human attention. Curate your best shot and

serve it to the people, or just ogle the results. Try your hand at oversharing or a paragraph-length self-discovery status, too @ instagram.com.

SATURDAY, APRIL 25 Big Ass Telethon

Wussy, SFQP and Southern Appalachia throw

this online party with performers galore to raise


money and “end metronormativity” @ Twitch,

kitchen repertoire, so fire up the stove and expand your horizons. (See

Keep an eye out for more virtual events as they’re announced on our Facebook,

As they say at Checkers, ya gotta eat. By now, you’ve exhausted your

9 p.m. twitch.tv/endmetronormativity

our feature in this issue)

Twitter and Instagram, and at theQatl.com.




Homeward COVER

By Mike Fleming


he same four walls are bringing you down. You’re ready for a change, but life just isn’t going to give you that right now. You want to redecorate, but the wallet is tighter than ever. Making matters worse, you have no idea how to freshen things up without a total tear-down. Let these tips and trips give you a new view, without putting you in the poor house.

Prince(ss) of Pop Maybe you’re happy with your basic pieces, and they’re too expensive to replace right away anyway. Change out or add pillows, curtains, rugs and other accessories to create a whole new color scheme. Repurpose old pillowcases, blankets, throws and fabric scraps to make it work at no cost.




20 low- or no- cost redecorating hacks while you’re stuck inside Dapper Drapery Add trim to the edge of existing drapes, or move them up to ceiling height and add a border of contrasting fabric to make up the difference at the bottom. When you do the latter, you also make low ceilings look higher by keeping the eye moving up and down.

Brush Over Every drag queen knows to never, ever underestimate the power of a good paint job. Transform any space the same way, and feel free to get creative because you can always paint over it. Lord knows you have the time. Go bold with dark colors, or by switching to dark trim and light walls, and dive into storage for any paint lurking from old jobs.

Looking Up Don’t forget about your “fifth wall.” Put the ceiling to work by adding beams or trim. Staple fabric up there and let it drape. Change or decorate your light fixtures. Suspend toys with fishing wire. Anything that draws the eye upward adds interest. Remnant Realness Nothing pulls it all together like a rug, but few items can be as expensive either. Consider stitching two or more smaller rugs together. Check out remnant and discontinued sections online.

16 Candles Clusters of candles, vases or other items make more impact than stand-alones. Gather what you have, or seek out inexpensive additions to supplement the look. Think landscapes, and consider the impacts of one-color, few-color and multi-color collections. Canvas the Area Paint inexpensive or repurposed art canvases in one color, either contrasting or complementing the wall. Do singles or multiples in monochromatic or multiple colors, and voila! Instant art. Think big: Consider filling the whole wall with repurposed canvases for a big statement backdrop. Side Eye Stack boxes, luggage, trays, books or blocks to create oneof-a-kind side tables. You can also hang shelves on the wall next to seating and use that as a place to rest your drink. 




DECOR continued

In Recovery Chairs are prime candidates for recovering. Scrap fabric and a coat of paint can turn a piece of junk into a prize possession. On a larger scale, dye, paint or slip cover (with sheets or blankets?) old sofas and chairs to match each other.

Sister Thrifter You can’t go to the thrift stores right now, but you can check out online hotel liquidators and estate sales. Hunt for bargain pieces you can update with a coat of paint and new hardware. And keep an open mind toward new purposes for old items.

Double Team Twin beds as seating? Yes, honey. When you can’t do a sofa or just want to maximize small spaces, dual purpose items are practical and fashionable. Never let them tell you not to sleep where you eat and play. 12 12


Back It Up Paint or paper or otherwise cover the back or shelves to make every cubby pop. As with all of these decorating ideas, your wallet isn’t the limit; the only limit is your imagination.

Back to the Closet Look past boring doors as surfaces crying out for decoration. Consider them hidden canvases. Cover them with fabric. Use them as background to hang artwork, or paint them with your own original creations.

Gallery Gays Focal points are the basis of any new room. Create one without spending anything by placing your photos, found images, color copies or all black-and-white, in matching or coordinating frames. Another idea? No frames — anything looks sophisticated floating between two pieces of glass to let the wall color show through.

Color Stories Most of us have a few palettes that are our go-tos. Try letting things come together in color combinations that go beyond green with blue or red with yellow. Try red with turquoise, green with orange or pink, yellow with purple. Shake things up.

Nice Basket Turn a shallow basket or tray into an arrangement of stuff that’s readily available, like moss, pinecones, sticks, rocks, or fruits. Smells Like Outside For an inexpensive, fragrant and long-lasting decoration, put sprigs of pine in see-through containers. Or bundle rosemary, thyme and marjoram in vases — you can even use them for cooking after they dry. Focal Point Turn one wall into your show-stopper with wrapping paper, fabric or boldly patterned paint.

Collector’s Choice Fill bowls, vases and trays with balls, toy trucks, barbie heads, whatever you collect. Add a bundle of twinkle lights. Group stuff by color for a chic look, or mix them up to make a splash. Hang small knickknacks from a bare branch.

Tie One On Tie single or multiple ornaments, toys, baubles or knickknacks on a ribbon or yarn, hang at varying heights, and create a memorable window display or room divider . Sources: HGTV, Apartment Therapy, Style at Home theQatl.com




Better BOUDOIR 6 tips to make your bedroom sexier By Mike Fleming


he room that you use mostly for sleeping and getting ready takes on new duties when it’s time for sex, and whether you’re having it virtually or your partner is looking at you 24-7 these days, now’s the time to step up that backdrop. Harmony Restrict the color palette for a more soothing scene. As few as one or two colors can be a statement and let you focus on what really matters. Speaking of soothing and sexy, psychologists say consider cooler hues and avoid black and white. Cozy Textiles are your tactile ticket to comfort. Mix throws, upholstery and pillows. Solids on the walls and windows make



a room look larger, and patterns on the bed draw the eye to where the action is.

Bling Every bedroom needs a mirror anyway. Add sparkle with a few more — not on the ceiling unless you’re into that sort of thing. Cluster small ones together or lean a large one against the wall. Best Light Indirect lighting is key. Lamps, candles and uplights are great. Can lights, spotlights and overheads are… well, not. Scents & Sensibility Don’t distract them with nastiness. Move the hamper to a closet or bathroom. Put down fresh sheets often. If you’re not into candles and incense, subtler touches like live plans, flowers and rug fresheners go a long way. Clear Out It may not sound like a decorating tip, but de-cluttering not only makes a good impression, it’s distracting. Keep the focus on each other with fewer focal points, collections and piles.

THEQ?! Hard to Say


You don’t owe an explanation, you owe an apology


My ex and I didn’t plan it when we broke up, but over time we sort of split the mutual friends between us. Most gravitated to one of us in a natural way, but there’s one friend that I miss and will always miss, even years later. There was some drama with this guy at the time of my breakup, but I was too wrapped up in relationship stuff to see his thing as very important. I was pretty dismissive, but his situation really did pale in comparison. The problem is, I can’t explain it to him because he won’t have anything to do with me. He avoids me and turns tail in the opposite direction. On the rare occasion we are in the same room, he behaves as if I don’t exist, looking away or looking through me. I have sent cards on holidays and his birthday, and I even had my ex reach out on my behalf. The friend is not interested in my side. How can I get him to listen and forgive me?


Dear Apologize: You don’t owe him an explanation. You owe him an apology. Talking about what happened from your perspective is about you, and that doesn’t earn a discussion, much less forgiveness. Start by acknowledging his perspective, that he has a legitimate hurt and anger. Then accept that you played a role in it, no matter where you were coming from at the time. Now forgive yourself and forget yourself. An apology should be about the person receiving it. You might say something like, “I’m truly sorry for hurting you. I want you to know that I deeply regret what happened. If you’re willing, I promise to listen the way I should have a long time ago, but I respect that you may not be in that place. Just know that I’m here if you change your mind, and that I will always care about you.” Don’t ask for forgiveness, which would lighten your pain. Don’t offer justifications for your behavior. Acknowledge your acceptance of your role: “I’m sorry if I hurt you” is not the same as “I’m sorry that I hurt you.” Your friend is expressing his pain by inflicting it back on you. The right apology says that you receive the message. That might create a path for him to communicate again. Emphasis on the word “might.” You can do everything right, and he still might not forgive you. That’s on him, and you may have to swallow that final piece of hard truth, but at least you can work on moving on with a clearer conscience.


I hooked up with this guy who turned out to be a little more drunk, and a lot less satisfying, than either of us anticipated. I called him an Uber, and since then, he has apologized profusely. I think a lot about what it would be like to have sex with him. I’m really attracted to him, but I can’t bring myself to forgive him because he totally doesn’t deserve it. Am I being too harsh? Dear Forgive: Forgiveness is not for him. It’s for you. You admit he’s occupying space in your head that you can’t shake – that’s because you haven’t forgiven him. Now you can decide if you want to have sex with him or not, keeping in mind both the red flags of his past behavior, as well as your own experience with mistakes when you wanted a second chance. The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com. ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON theQatl.com


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