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Q inform | inspire



February 8, 2018

Queer Atlanta Couples & Throuples

LOVE Issue



Queer Agenda Q News The Q Q Shots



The Male Curse So many men have enlarged breasts. Did you know that 30-60% of men are affected by large breasts? This common condition affects the self-esteem of men. The cause and treatments remain a mystery for most men because we never discuss the issue. If you are embarrassed to remove your shirt in public or in private because of your chest… you have Gynecomastia. Gynecomastia is caused by an imbalanced ratio of testosterone to estrogen at puberty. This imbalance can cause fat and/or glandular tissue to be deposited in greater quantity in the breasts. Gym steroids can cause or contribute to gynecomastia. Surgery is the only way to fix the problem. Liposuction with or without glandular excision is the cure. These procedures are performed as out-patient surgeries. Most men will miss only a few days from work. Post-operative pain and discomfort is minimal. Since there are no adverse health effects with Gynecomastia, it is considered a cosmetic surgical procedure. The cost of the treatment is similar to liposuction costs. Keith Jeffords, MD is a Board Certified Plastic Surgeon in Smyrna, Georgia. He is the 2018 Moderator for the American Society of Plastic Surgeons’ series on “Aesthetic Surgery for Men” and lecturer on Gynecomastia.

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EDITOR’S NOTE Q PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@QMAGATLANTA.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@QMAGATLANTA.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@QMAGATLANTA.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@QMAGATLANTA.COM ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@QMAGATLANTA.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS BUCK C. COOKE JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON JAMES HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER SUNNI JOHNSON HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK JAMES SHEFFIELD DUSTIN SHRADER DISCLAMER The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors do not necessarily reflect opinions, beliefs or official policies of Q Magazine or its publisher Initial Media, except where individual publishers’ names specifically appear. Appearance of photos, credits, or names in this publication neither implies or explicitly states the sexual orientation or gender identity of its subject. Q Magazine and the author of each article published on this web site owns his or her own words, except where explicitly credited otherwise. Articles herein may not be freely redistributed unless all of the following conditions are met. 1. The re-distributor is a non-commercial entity. 2. The redistributed article is not be sold for a profit, or included in any media or publication sold for a profit, without the express written consent of the author and this publication. 3. The article runs in full and unabridged. 4. The article runs prominently crediting both the author’s name and “courtesy Q Magazine.”

All the


‘If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?’ CAN I GET AN AMEN? RuPaul’s signature line, with its accompanying “Everybody say love” inspires the Valentine Week issue of Q, celebrating the myriad loves that queers seek, reject, embrace and curse, but ultimately want and need. Queer Atlanta itself inspires our cover feature, a photo essay by photographer Jon Dean. He points his lens at local LGBTQ couples and throuples in whimsical, sexy, heartfelt, funny and just-plain gorgeous portraits that are sure to capture your imagination. To inspire you further, he interviews the lovebirds about their unique relationships, their ideal VDay dates, and their secrets to success. In 10 Queer Things this week, we find 10 ways you can be a better sweetheart, and that includes being a better friend. In the Events section, we find the gay Atlanta Bucks rugby squad offering single gay guys a chance to date their diverse jocks wearing jocks in a new and kinda naughty fundraising “Meat Raffle.” But even before those typical kinds of love, we need to love ourselves more. Loving yourself and other people can EDITOR & PUBLISHER be hard. Let Life Judge help in this week’s The Q. The advice column this week meets a former “fat kid” who hates his body, a bitter gay divorcee, and a chickenshit boyfriend caught in a bad romance. MIKE FLEMING

Love of community is never far from our minds, either. Eric Paulk takes us beyond Burkhart’s into the ugly underbelly of racism in queer Atlanta. In the spirit of the current #TimesUp climate, Q intends to keep this overdue conversation on the front burner no matter what happens at the local gay bar currently embroiled in controversy. We also love Georgia’s best choice in the next election for governor. Meet Stacy Abrams, and find out how the Democrat most likely to go all the way can track her vocal LGBTQ support back to lesbian inclusion at Spellman College. She outlines her vision for a better Georgia in the Q News section. By now, you’re getting to know Q, so you know we won’t leave you hanging for party pics from your nights out on the town, or a calendar of new opportunities to smile big for our cameras. Q Shots visits the Tossed Salad debut in its new location after dumping Burkhart’s, Cowtippers’ “Final Herd” of Heifers on its last official day, a “RuPaul’s Drag Race Watch Party,” and the LGBTQ professionals of Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. Of course, when it comes to all the love in this week’s magazine, I’m here for all of it, and I’m here for you. Send me your Q-related thoughts at





Be a Better Valentine




Love Stories


13 11

Madame Governor

31 Tossed Salad

Meet Georgia Dems best bet EVENTS


Meat Market

33 The ’Tip

Atlanta Bucks bachelor auction

FEATURES Q Voices Q News


Q Shots


Queer Agenda The Q 4


15 38


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Jim Crow:

The Club Remix Beyond Burkhart’s, black LGBTQ folks pay a racist cover charge in many queer spaces

IN MY 20s, WHEN I FIRST STARTED COMING out and was seeking to reconcile my anxiety and desire, I would often go out alone to queer clubs. I would find a seat at the bar and watch in wonderment as my gay tribe created new worlds through the gyration of hips, thrusts of pelvises, and roll of their bodies.

A point of contention for some, has been the fact that Marsh is not a member of the LGBTQ community. However, his remarks are emblematic of a long history racism within the LGBTQ community. James Baldwin knew this. In a 1984 interview with the Village Voice, he stated that “the gay world … is no more prepared to accept black people than anywhere else in society.” Marlon Riggs, also understood, declaring in his documentary Tongues Untied “Ten black men show up [to the club] and they [white people] get paranoid that the place is going to tilt … [wanting you to show] three forms of ID.” And as we look around the country, from Atlanta to New York to Philadelphia, we are reminded that these clubs and bars are often not safe in the physical or discursive space for black LGBTQ folks. With each new incident, we are, as Melvin Dixon put it, “reminded of how vulnerable we are as gay men, as black gay men, to the disposal or erasure of our lives.” People have drawn a line in the sand, making sure that they are on the record to denounce the vile comments made by Marsh. However, a mere denouncement does not undo the structural racism that is embedded in the community.

These nights made the world outside a bit more bearable. But do not be mistaken, these fleeting moments of freedom came We have been down this road before. The at a cost. I often did not find community terrain is familiar. The opportunity is before in these spaces, but rather racism and us to do something new, to engage in ways white supremacy; a cover charge tackedERIC that we have not engaged before, and to chart PA U L K on on nights where the clientele was a path forward the creates room for all of our blacker than usual, policing of my wardlived experiences. robe by the creation of a new “no hats, no timbs” policy, or being subjected to a “pat-down” more rigorous than the Now that we have started the conversation: Transportation Security Authority (TSA). • Do not expect black communities or other communiBlack LGBTQ folks pay a psychic price to be in ties of color to educate you on the issue. those spaces. • Support clubs owned and operated by black people Last month, Palmer Marsh, owner of the gay nightclub and and other people of color. drag bar Burkhart’s Pub, came under fire after controversial • Identify, interrupt and disrupt racist behavior when Facebook posts surfaced of him making racially offensive you see it. remarks, including the use of a racial slur to describe former President Obama. The result of the fallout has been an effort • Challenge the city’s LGBTQ liaison to fight to to ignite community dialogue about racism in the LGBTQ dismantle racism, bias, and discrimination in Atlanta’s community. LGBTQ community. What’s been noticeably absent from these conversations, however, has been the voices of black queer and trans folks. How does a community address racism without centering the voices of black and other people of color?

• Do not expect to be rewarded for not being a racist. Eric Paulk is an advocate working at the intersections of race, class, and sexuality. Follow him on Twitter @EricPaulk.





All your interests won’t match. Be excited simply that they are excited, and let them have their “thing.”

KINDNESS OVER ‘WINNING’ Arguments come and go; superior stubbornness is forever.

How Valentines can extend the Season of Love through the whole year


Sweetheart By Mike Fleming


Their friends were there long before you, and will still be there whether you are or not.


Let them know that even their smallest idiosyncrasies, movements and gestures make you hot. 8



Start and keep up your end of intellectual, stimulating conversations.

Ask your friends what “needs work,” take what they say to heart, and apply it to your relationship.


You’re both “complete” as you are, or should be. Find ways to enhance each other’s experience.


For real, though. Care enough about them to care what they have to say.


As much as you love talking, wallow in comfortable quiet too, and find ways to spend time apart.


Impromptu date nights. Thoughtful gestures. Gifts of the heart. Go!



Is This the Face of

OUR NEXT GOVERNOR? Democrat Stacey Abrams pledges to fight discrimination and support equality as governor

right not what was political.”

By Matt Hennie

That progressive approach continued in 2006, when Abrams, running for the state House, expressed her support same-sex marriage – just two years after voters overwhelmingly rejected it in a statewide referendum. Abrams was told it would lose her the election, but she won and became the first African-American woman to lead either party in the Georgia General Assembly.

STACEY ABRAMS – A PROGRESSIVE DEMOCRAT running for governor – met with LGBTQ elected officials, activists and influencers on January 27 to talk equality and pitch her campaign to become the state’s next leader.

“For those of us who face discrimination based on race or based on gender, we have a superior obligation to stand with others and to always be first in the conversation,” she said. “If we don’t protect everyone’s civil rights, none of us have civil rights. I know that to be true from the bottom of my heart.”

The public LGBTQ Policy Roundtable Discussion was a first-ofits-kind event for a major party candidate in Georgia. It also built on Abrams’ track record as a state lawmaker and House Minority Leader who backed LGBT legislation and fought anti-LGBT “religious freedom” bills. “It doesn’t matter what you say you’re going to do, it matters what you do,” Abrams told the crowd of several dozen LGBT people at her campaign headquarters in Kirkwood. “It matters what you let people see you doing, because we have a responsibility to be forward looking and forward marching and to always be standing in front of issues – not waiting for someone to tell you what you have to do,” she added. Abrams and Democratic challenger Stacey Evans were the first major-party gubernatorial candidates to participate in the Atlanta Pride parade last October. Libertarian John Monds took part in the parade and backed marriage equality when he ran for governor in 2010, but Democrat Jason Carter skipped it in 2014. Abrams’ outspoken support is a refreshing departure from Carter’s campaign, which raised funds from LGBT supporters behind closed doors but sidestepped equality issues in public and only begrudgingly backed same-sex marriage late in the campaign.

As Minority Leader in the state House, Abrams supported legislation protecting LGBT employees in state government, backed an LGBT-inclusive civil rights bill, helped efforts to combat bullying and fought anti-LGBT “religious freedom” legislation. She’s also urged activists to educate lawmakers on transgender issues – a call she repeated during the forum. Abrams also told the crowd that her broader campaign includes specific plans for education, jobs, adult literacy, expanding Medicaid, infrastructure and “building a thriving and diverse economy.” Still, Abrams said she would send a clear message to lawmakers and people across the state that Georgia won’t tolerate discrimination. “It’s about protecting communities, the LGBTQ community, from being able to be fired and denied access to housing, access to services. … It’s about making sure that discrimination of any kind, that from the beginning, the governor is the face of what discrimination will not happen in the State of Georgia and that’s why I’m running.” Read more about the meeting and Abrams’ LGBTQspecific campaign promises at

Abrams said her support dates to her days as a student leader at Spellman College. While there in the early 1990s, she approved the creation of a lesbian alliance that had been denied in past years. “One of my proudest moments was as SGA vice president authorizing that organization on campus,” Abrams said at the meeting. “It came at a bit of a cost. I got phone calls and threats and had to have campus security for a while. But for me, the responsibility was to do what was






Stacey Abrams on fighting RFRA, HIV, discrimination as governor By Matt Hennie FORMER STATE LAWMAKER AND HOUSE MINORITY Leader Stacey Abrams followed a roundtable with LGBTQ elected officials and activists on January 27 with an interview with Project Q Atlanta and Georgia Voice. There she talked in-depth about her commitment to LGBTQ issues. It was the first sit-down ever with gay media for a major party candidate for governor in Georgia. What was it like to march in the Atlanta Pride parade last October? Walking along that route, it was reflective of Georgia. The diversity of the community, the diversity of the ways people express themselves is emblematic of how strong diversity is in the State of Georgia. To be allowed to stand in solidarity was deeply humbling and so I had fun. Metro Atlanta faces HIV in epidemic proportions. What would you do as governor to combat the disease? The rising rates of HIV/AIDS in the State of Georgia, not only in the metro Atlanta area but statewide, requires that we treat this as the crisis that it is. If we are continuing to refuse those dollars, we are refusing access to healthcare, we are refusing access to those doctors that we need to be in those counties where treatment is not currently available. It’s also about creating an overall atmosphere where the State of Georgia affirmatively and openly talks about the challenges that we face, that we talk about HIV/AIDS the same way we have to have conversations about maternal mortality rates. Georgia’s response to public health crises, and its response to the medical needs of its citizens, is woefully inadequate right now, and I want to be a governor who’s having very thoughtful and honest conversations. Unless we can talk about it, we can’t address it. Where does your passion and commitment to LGBTQ issues come from? It comes from growing up in a family that faced discrimination and having parents who were, even as teenagers, a part of the Civil Rights Movement. They raised us with a sense 12

of responsibility for every community that you don’t fight for yourself alone, you fight for everyone…. When I confronted the conversations facing the LGBTQ community, both as a young woman at Saint Mark [United Methodist Church in Atlanta] and then a student at Spellman College… [I realized] I have the power to do something, and my responsibility is to always use my power to help fight discrimination and create opportunities for inclusion. Opponents of ‘religious freedom’ legislation often cite the negative impact it could have on the economy. But what about its impact on LGBTQ people? We should not be a state of discrimination. We should not condone using our laws and using faith as a justification for bigotry…We must have a governor who pledges to never sign that bill but even more, pledges to reject even the bill existing and fights hard from its first introduction to make sure it never gets a hearing and certainly never gets to the governor’s desk. How will you address ‘religious freedom’ legislation on the campaign trail? I intend in every debate and every conversation to strongly and vociferously oppose any notion that ‘religious freedom’ legislation has any space in any room in Georgia. It’s going to be political theater, and I will play my part and say that this is absolutely a non-starter and that it is an asinine, backwards and bigoted approach in a state where we know that this is the wrong thing to do. … Part of it is the signal you send and what you will entertain, and what is the cost of entertaining that conversation. People will understand there is a cost to entertaining legislation that purports to discriminate. They will know that as governor, I will not tolerate it and I will be very angry having to have that conversation.” Read Abrams’ full interview at

Q Podcast Q is where we talk to newsmakers, influencers, entrepreneurs, elected officials and activists so you know what's happening in LGBT Atlanta. Every Wednesday.

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THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

February 8 - February 14


Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin Atlanta Queer Literary Festival

unpacks a classic during this open discussion @ Ponce Branch Library, 3 p.m.

Clare Summerskill

This British standup comedian and singer treats Atlanta to

‘Fairly Vocal to Varifocal!’ @ Avondale Town Cinema,

8 p.m.


Writers! Photographers!

Bucks Meat Raffle

Meat lover? The gay jocks of Atlanta Bucks Rugby deliver a diverse

smorgasbord in a bachelor auction @ Woofs, 8 p.m. Black Hearts Ball

The Wussy crew does it again. This year, they

join forces for this anti-VDay throwdown with La Choloteca. Now it’s one badass Amor Pro-

hibido @ Star Bar, 10 p.m.


Q magazine and Project Q seek to expand our pool of contributors Reporting, commentary, event pics, portraits and photo essays. Help us express Atlanta’s diverse LGBTQ perspectives on a one-time or recurring basis. Samples to

Our Founding Valentines

Atlanta Pride and Touching Up Our Roots annual celebration of local

LGBTQ pioneers @ Out Front Theatre Company, 7:30 p.m.


The latest in the series of camp classics hits with perfect timing for bitter sin-

gles @ Plaza Theatre, 7 p.m.




BACHELO Atlanta Bucks get creative with upcoming fundraising ‘Meat Raffle’ auction


By Buck C. Cooke


ny gay men out there ready to put some fresh meat in your love life? If your answer is yes, the Atlanta Bucks Rugby Football Club hosts the Bucks Meat Raffle: A Different Kind of Bachelor Auction this Saturday, February 10.

a date package with a chiropractic adjustment as part of the prize might come with a side of ribs.”

Date packages up for auction include donated items with gift certificates for things to do around town, like dinner for two, admission to plays or concerts, couples massages, and other unique items. The Bucks have taken care to craft a fun theme for the event and picked bachelors who represent the members of the club. “The members of the Bucks span a wide range of ages, backgrounds, races, builds, athletic abilities, athletic experience, sexual orientations,” Dempster tells Q. “Each package will be paired with a Buck, and whoever wins the date will have the option to take the Buck on the date or just use the date package with someone else.”

The Bucks wanted to give this year’s edition of its semi-regular bachelor event a special touch.

And the Bucks for bid are a diverse bunch in race, body type, and even orientation.

“We’re using the term ‘meat raffle’ to be a funny take on dating in the gay world, because it can be a bit of a meat market,” says Blair Dempster, club president. “Each package will be inclusive of a cut of meat that will symbolize that member or the date package. The youngest guy auctioned off might come with a cut of veal, or

“We’re all different, and that’s part of what makes the club an awesome group to spend time with,” he says. “When we were figuring out which guys to auction off, we wanted the bachelors to be a good representation of our club, so we wanted to make sure there’s a rugger for everyone.”

RS & BEEF At the bachelor auction, in addition to a Beer Bust, Jell-O shots and other surprises, the Bucks begin selling Bingham or Bust raffle tickets with a grand prize including airfare and accommodations for two to accompany the Bucks to Amsterdam.

“A lot of bachelor auctions can get wrapped up in appearance and people can forget to have a good time,” Dempster asserts. “We want the guys being auctioned off to have fun, we want the date packages to be unique and enjoyable, and we want the people attending the auction to enjoy themselves.” From here, the Bucks have a busy schedule with matches through April and more fundraisers, including the signature Miss RuckN-Maul Pageant in April and Purple Dress Run in May. Even better, the guys are known for their philanthropy and fraternal spirit, and they’re always looking for new members.

Ten date packages include single dates, double dates, and group dates. The money raised helps the club attend the international Mark Kendall Bingham Memorial Tournament, also known as the Bingham Cup, the World Cup of gay and inclusive rugby. This year, that’s in Amsterdam in June.

“It may sound cliché, but we’re a brotherhood. We’re a family. We love each other,” Dempster says. “We’re constantly growing, so there’s always spots open to add new members to our family.” Bucks Meat Raffle: A Different Kind of Bachelor Auction takes place Saturday, February 10 at Woofs on Piedmont, Woofs on Piedmont, 8 p.m.



Queer Atlanta couples and throuples do Valentine’s and every day their way


LOVE J ust in time for the “season of love,” turn the page for our latest photo essay from queer Atlanta photographer Jon Dean and find six LGBTQ+ love stories with quips, insights and advice for making it work.

Photos byJon Dean Rigel and Cameron. Find their story on Page 28.



QUEER LOVE, Continued

HRO & Christophe @HROTIME @ChristopheChaisson How did you meet? HRO and I met briefly on Easter Sunday in the parking lot of Ansley Square. It wasn’t ‘til exactly a month later that he asked me to help him run some errands, which resulted in a night that would change my life. Ideal date night: Turning a fierce look, chowing down some delicious food whether that be Ramen or Italian, and spending the night together listening to music that makes our hearts soar. Or a good fuck in a public restroom is always fun. Best advice for fellow queers looking for love? Don’t settle. There is no perfect person out there, yet I have found someone who loves me and cares for me to the best of their ability. Communicate frequently with vulnerability and honesty. You will find your unicorn!




QUEER LOVE, Continued

Pat & Cherry How did they meet? In a Toys R Us store in Huntsville, Alabama, where they both worked 30 years ago. What keeps them together? Social justice and shared experiences. In 1994, Pat was the co-founder of “Olympics Out of Cobb,” a grassroots response to a municipal ordinance that officially rejected “the gay lifestyle” in the county. The organization first got 1996 Olympic Volleyball events moved out of the county, then went on to have the Olympic Torch skip the county as it wound its way to open the Games. Pat is also co-founder of Southerners On New Ground. Together, the couple are active in intersectional justice and support the Atlanta Dream. 22




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QUEER LOVE, Continued Q

Yancey, Maggy & Naomi @yancexx @psycho_x_girlfriend @tyrabanksfanclub How did you meet? So it started with sending a photo of a not excited dog to Yancey asking, “Why isn’t this pup so excited?” It lead to Naomi being left on read for 300,000 years, but now here we are – all obsessed with each other. Describe your ideal date night in Atlanta. Convincing Maggy and Yancey to come to Roswell to smoke weed with me in my car in front of my mom’s house, then after we cuddle and watch Million Dollar Matchmaker until one of us cries. Best advice for fellow queers looking for love? Start poking people on Facebook… You’re not getting any younger!




QUEER LOVE, Continued

Austin & Khanh @austinbadbad @someasiandude

How long have you been together? 5 years How did you meet? We met through OKCupid. It matched us at 98% compatible. We went on a date to Bookhouse, where I [Khanh] ordered quail and dissed pizza. Austin messaged me afterwards saying that he didn’t think we’d be a good fit. After a few years past, we ran into each other at a party where we talked in a non-stressful date setting. He started following me on Instagram, and the rest is history. Describe your ideal date night in Atlanta. A day thrift-tiquing at Value Village/Highland Row, going to eat at a new, interesting or pop-up restaurant, then ending with doughnuts from Sublime or Krispy Kreme. Best advice for fellow queers looking for love? Just be yourself. Don’t conform to what you feel other people want or are looking for. If you don’t fit into any molds, don’t try to. Make your own mold. Also don’t measure your value through other people’s eyes. You need to be able to see it in yourself first. To quote a great person “If you don’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna to love somebody else?”




QUEER LOVE, Continued

Rigel & Cameron @rigelgemini @cameronleeart How long have you been together? 7 years as of April 2018. Married Oct 2015 How did you meet? We met out at a gay club in San Francisco. Cameron walked up to me at the bar and said I had a nice smile, and it was love at first sight. Describe your ideal date night in Atlanta. Our ideal date night would be one that includes good food, art and dancing. Lately one of our favorite date restaurants is Parish in Inman Park. They have such romantic lighting! Best advice for fellow queers looking for love? Love will arrive when you are feeling most confident and comfortable with yourself. Be open to new connections out in the real world, not just from the dating apps!



QUEER LOVE, Continued

Barry & Patrick @TheQueerIndigo @PatrickJosephBoston How long have you been together? A little over 2 years How did you meet? We met at Katz Cafe in Atlanta. We were both there to see singers that we knew. The whole evening turned into the most absurd story of two people meeting for the first time. Describe your ideal date night in Atlanta. A pop up dinner and a live show, whatever kind of great entertainment we can find. Best advice for fellow queers looking for love? Communicate niiiiiiice and clearly. We are in an open poly relationship. We are extremely independent individuals who live separate lives and appreciate our time together. We make sure that there is room for friends, passions and projects outside one another. On the flip side, we make it a point to support the other’s work whenever and however we can. Think outside of the heteronormative version of what one thinks a relationship is supposed to look like and know that you can manifest and create whatever version of relationship you wish. Love and sex are not mutually exclusive, nor are they the defining factors in love and romance.






























THEQ?! Bad


Loving yourself and other people is hard. Let Life Judge help.


I grew up fat but had finally turned a corner on fitness, nutrition, and the psychology that led me to overeat. Then after a devastating personal loss, I slipped into old habits. It didn’t take long to despise my body again. I recently found my fattest fat pants ever. I see how far I’ve come, and how easily I could slip even further. I need help, hugs and encouragement from those around me to go back to a healthy lifestyle and be proud of my body again! Dear Fat Kid: Loving your body is the first step, not the last, in this process. Love it enough to eat right and exercise. That includes tough love sometimes, too. Getting a handle on healthy habits isn’t a one-and-done proposition. It’s for life. After a setback, we might need refreshers to get back on track. That you have the know-how from experience is something to celebrate, not get down about. The most problematic excess is between your ears, not around your waist. Get some professional advice if needed for the personal loss that led you here, and buck up. Everyone needs hugs, but what you need more are bootstraps to pull yourself up. You got this.


The day the Supreme Court legalized marriage equality, we looked at each other, put on our shoes, drove downtown, and got married. Romantic, right? Now one of the first same-sex couples to marry in Georgia will be one of the first to divorce. Marriage changed everything. It ruined us. Please tell people not to destroy their fabulous queer relationships by getting married. Dear Rash: Every marriage is different, and only as good as its foundation. Yours might have jumped the gun, but don’t jump the 38

gun on what everyone else should do about theirs as well. There’s no need to rush a marriage or do it impulsively. Besides popping the question, you can learn a lot by asking other questions as well: What is your greatest failure? Biggest dream? What makes you most grateful? Who are your best friends and why? What was your biggest crisis and how did you handle it? What makes you cry? What are your favorite and least favorite things about me?


It’s time to break up with my boyfriend, but he’s so stuck on me that I’ve just been sort of “phasing him out” instead of making a clean break. It just seems easier to not return texts right away and wait for him to call me instead of initiating. He’s a smart guy, so I know he’ll get the message. I feel bad about dumping him, because he’s a super sweet guy, but I have no idea what to say to him other than I’m not feeling it. What should I do? Dear Sadface Emoji: Hard conversations are hard. Welcome to being a grown up. Stop feeling bad for the breakup and start feeling bad for stringing the guy along. Now go fix it. The Q is intended for entertainment purposes and not as professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to Illustration by Brad Gibson

On Valentine’s Day you can go out to dinner... or you can whet your appetite for later.



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Q mag v1i12 | February 8, 2018  
Q mag v1i12 | February 8, 2018