Q ATLus Magazine | September 24, 2020

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September July 24, 23, 2020 July 16, 2020

Out On FILM Rugby doc ‘Steelers’ among Q Spotlight favorites

Haunted By Your Crazy Ex Guac y Margys is All in the ‘FaMily’ Our Own Anchorman, WSB’s Jorge Estevez

Best PICTURE AND THE CATEGORY IS… Pandemic, but make it a festival. Out on

Film jumped through hoops like never before to bring LGBTQ Atlanta its annual world-class event this week, and Q ATLus previews some of the don’t-miss screenings.

Among our seven don’t-miss festival entries in this issue — and our Top

20 picks at theQatl.com — is the triumphant story on our cover. London’s Kings Cross Steelers are the subject of this year’s Q Spotlight documen-

tary. Our pick for Out on Film’s Best Picture follows the gay rugby team that started gay rugby teams, and we meet the filmmaker.

Other local gay movers and shakers in this issue include WSB-TV anchor Jorge Estevez in Q People and the resourceful owners of Guac y Margys in Q Community. Both have survival stories to tell about a year that no one could have predicted.

Of course, the week also brings the Q Events calendar and the Q Map &

Directory, as well as the Q Advice column. Dig in, look for more every day

on Project Q Atlanta online, and keep up with us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube and on your favorite podcast app.

We look forward to bringing you ever-more content in ever-more

ways. If you think of anything you’d like to see online or in print, write mike@theQatl.com.






The Q Events Calendar




Q Spotlights at Out on Film



Podcast Q Interviews Jorge Estevez



Whattup ‘FaM’?

Meet the Guac y Margys Guys ADVICE

Can’t Hide The Ghost of Your Ex

6 theQatl.com


Q People................... 9 Q Community........ 13 Q Events................ 25 Q Map.................... 26 Q Advice................ 30





WSB’s Jorge Estevez has a secret to surviving the pandemic By Matt Hennie

JORGE ESTEVEZ MOVED TO ATLANTA TO start his new job just weeks before the coronavirus pandemic hit, then racial justice protests unfolded and a civil rights icon died. It’s a familiar story, but for Estevez, it’s also just his job in the news industry. He’s a primetime anchor for WSB-TV, and he was only weeks into his gig before the world turned upside down. He was cordoned off from new co-workers and came close to working from his basement.


“It’s been such a trying time for so many families and so many people, whether you’re older or younger, single or married — so hard,” Estevez said in a new episode of Podcast Q. “People who are out of work. People who are dealing with educating their children. People with special needs children who need to go in the classroom. There’s so many issues out there. And it’s a gift to be able to help people navigate through that with such a powerhouse station in such a great state,” he added. Coronavirus — a great equalizer on many levels — delivers its daily indignities to Estevez, too. Those pandemic pounds. Packing a lunch to avoid restaurant crowds. Estevez approaches it all with a sense of humor and lots of snacks. The wide-ranging interview with Estevez — WSB’s first openly gay and second Latinx prime time anchor – also delves into the serious side of the coronavirus pandemic, the impact of covering the Pulse massacre in Orlando, how coming out impacted the relationship with his parents, and convincing the Republican mayor of Orlando to preside over his wedding. “My story has some pitfalls, but it’s still better than so many other stories out there as far as the love that I feel to this day. But yes the headline is my father has disowned me. Fourteen years later, we still don’t talk,” Estevez said. Listen to Podcast Q at theQatl.com, or subscribe on your favorite podcast app. theQatl.com 9

Q Backing NEWS


11 metro LGBTQ leaders endorse Biden as ‘champion’ By Patrick Saunders

LGBTQ POLITICOS FROM METRO ATLANTA joined some 300 others nationwide to endorse Joe Biden and Kamala Harris in the November election, calling them “the most pro-equality ticket in American history.”

Park, who spoke at the Democratic National Convention in August, signed the letter because Biden “has worked tirelessly to advance LGBTQ+ equality in America,” he told Project Q Atlanta. “If we want to see progress in our community, now is the time we support the candidate who supports us not just in words, but in deeds,” he said. Cannon agreed. “This is our chance to protect transgender military members, queer families and LGBTQIA+ youth from more disastrous policy-making,” she assured Project Q.

The leaders and politicians, including state Reps. Sam Park and Park Cannon (photo) signed onto an editorial written by Sen. Tammy Baldwin and HRC President Alphonso David in USA Today. Baldwin is one of two LGBTQ members of the U.S. Senate. In addition to Cannon and Park, Georgia signers included state Reps. Karla Drenner and Matthew Wilson; Doraville Mayor Joseph Geierman and Mayor Pro-Tem Stephe Koontz; Georgia Equality Executive Director Jeff Graham; Horizons Atlanta Executive Director Alex Wan; Atlanta Housing Authority Commissioner Kirk Rich; Fair Fight Action CFO and COO Glen Paul Freedman; and Malik Brown, the City of Atlanta’s Director of LGBTQ Affairs. In the editorial, Baldwin and David lashed into the “failed presidency” of President Donald Trump and said Biden has supported LGBTQ rights for decades, “offering compassion in our moments of uncertainty and policies to move us forward.” “His empathy, resiliency, grit and grace make him uniquely qualified to lead our country through this difficult period,” they wrote. “In a Biden presidency, LGBTQ+ people, here at home and abroad, will once again have a champion in the White House.” A Biden-Harris administration would ensure the Equality Act became law, push for gender-inclusive identification markers, end the transgender military ban, ban conversion therapy, help end violence against trans people, fight to end HIV and protect LGBTQ youth, according to the letter. 10 theQatl.com


Georgia state Reps. Sam Park and Park Cannon

Koontz, the only openly trans elected official in Georgia, signed onto the editorial because of the Trump administration’s “open attack on transgender citizens,” she said. “They took away protections for trans students, they went after trans folks serving our country, they tried to take away our protections in health care,” Koontz said. “They did all this openly and seemed proud to be doing this.” “Biden needs to win by a large margin to send a message that these types of attacks are not only not acceptable, but that our country values all citizens,” she added. “I know Biden values all of us.” The Biden-Harris campaign in Georgia includes several LGBTQ staffers, including Simone Bell. The former state lawmaker is a senior advisor to the campaign. Bell, Koontz, Cannon and Park has each discussed their support for the campaign in ecent Q Conversations episodes. Join the live events most Fridays at lunchtime. For more on this story and the latest news of local LGBTQ interest, visit theQatl.com.

An open letter to the LGBTQ community


pray that this letter finds you in an abundance of good spirits and the blessings of good health. I, “Able” Mable Thomas, am running for the unexpired term of the U.S. Rep. John Lewis in Georgia’s 5th District.

I am your friend — not just LGBTQ-friendly. I have supported every initiative that respects the rights and opportunities of the gay community. I am the author of HB19, which provides a comprehensive state Civil Rights law and protects individuals from discrimination in housing, public accommodation and employment. While serving on the Atlanta City Council, I successfully supported legislation to secure domestic partnership benefits for gay and lesbian partners of city employees and supported adoption by gay and lesbian couples. As a member of the Georgia House, I supported or sponsored issues relating directly and indirectly to the LGBTQ community, including voting against Georgia’s Defense of Marriage Act in 2004, voting for increased funding for HIV/AIDS programs and twice supporting an LGBTQ-inclusive hate crimes bill that passed earlier this year. While serving as a member of the Judiciary Committee, I helped craft the 2007 Georgia Advance Directive Healthcare Act designating individuals — including LGBTQ partners — access and rights to directly intervene in the healthcare decisions for their loved ones. Equally important, I sponsored and helped pass landmark legislation requiring mammograms, pap smears, and prostate exams to be covered under regular medical expenses thus saving many Georgians thousands of dollars in doctor bills. As a representative of the people for 26 years, I consistently vote in favor of public policy that improves the lives of ALL people. Whether it is education reform, women’s reproductive health, living wages, public safety, economic development, access to healthcare or senior issues. I am always willing and “ABLE” to stand up, speak out and get results. I am your friend in the Georgia General Assembly. Now, I would like your support to fill the District 5 seat in Congress to continue to work for you. Please vote Sept. 29. Peace and love,

Able Mable Thomas

404-921-8681 mthomas949@gmail.com


theQatl.com 11

I take Pride in helping everyone.

Jesse Watts, RealtorÂŽ

M: 678-237-5310 | O: 404-604-3100 | jwatts5310@gmail.com jessewatts.kw.com | c @jessewattsrealtor Licensed in Georgia. Keller Williams Realty, Inc. is a real estate franchise company. Each Keller Williams office is independently owned and operated. Keller Williams Realty, Inc. is an Equal Opportunity Employer and supports the Fair Housing Act.

12 theQatl.com



All About ‘FaM’

For Guac y Margys, surviving a pandemic takes a team By Mike Fleming THE GUYS WHO BROUGHT GAY PATIO fun to the BeltLine were ramping up for a busy spring when the world changed with the spread of coronavirus and the shuttering of businesses. They had to adapt their game plan, and they got by with a little help from their friends. “We’ve had a lot of meetings that start with, ‘OK, now what do we do?’” the owners of Guac

y Margys told Project Q. “We always asked ourselves what’s best for the GyM FaM — the name we affectionately give to our employees. They’re a fantastic group of people who have been amazing through all of this, and we are very grateful for them. With some payroll assistance from Congress and a lot of planning, the three owners — Troy Meyers, Sebastian Romano and David Barton (photo, l-r) — and their staff got through a total shutdown in March and April. Luckily, they weren’t down for long. Online ordering with delivery and curbside pickup came  PHOTO BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD

theQatl.com 13

GUAC Y MARGYS continued just before the official easing of state restrictions in May. Distanced seating on the patio came later, but damage was done to the usual spring and summer hub of gay leisure time. “We miss our events — we hosted 172 events in 2019 — and giving our regulars a big ol’ hug,” the owners said. “But we are making the best of the current situation and remain optimistic about the future.” The future and new normal at Guac y Margys includes the aforementioned distancing and to-go services, masks for staff and all customers except those actively eating, “a lot of disinfectant and constant cleaning,” according to Barton, Meyers and Romano. They even have a QR-code menu so customers don’t touch a physical one. The guys said that 2020 may be a wash, but Guac y Margys will survive to host more RuPaul watch parties and Britney Bday Brunches. In fact, they have a few ideas up their sleeves and look for-


14 theQatl.com

ward to the day they can implement them. “We are really looking forward to the day when we can get back to doing what we do best — being the place to go to hang out with your friends and make new ones while sipping on a margarita and munching on some chips and guac.” In the meantime, they will continue to strive for a safe and healthy space to get out of the house for a meal or a cocktail — and be the people who find silver linings even in a global pandemic. “If there’s one thing COVID has taught us, it’s to be flexible and to appreciate the people around us,” they said. “We would not exist without the LGBTQ community. That is no exaggeration. While we have a very diverse customer base, the LGBTQ community has supported Guac y Margys from the very beginning.” Guac y Margys is on the Eastside Trail of the Atlanta Beltline, 661 Auburn Ave. Visit guacymargys.com and order at gymtakeout.com.



Cinematic JOURNEY Out on Film goes virtual for 2020 By Mike Fleming ATLANTA’S 33RD ANNUAL LGBTQ FILM festival brings its roster online due to the coronavirus pandmeic, but that doesn’t affect the event’s scope and depth of its offerings set for screenings Sept. 24 – Oct. 6. One perk to bringing the screenings online vs. in-person is that ticket holders aren’t locked into a time to catch any screening. Once a film or program goes live, the link good and available to view for 72 hours. Of course, tuning in when it goes live does come with benefits like the post-show interactive Q&As with actors and/or directors.

Q ATLus magazine and Project Q Atlanta again sponsor the festival, as we have since our 2008 inception. This year’s Q Spotlight film is Steelers: The World’s First Gay Rugby Team. Not only will the feature-length documentary about London’s premiere LGBTQ rugby squad be screened beginning Sept. 27 with our compliments, but it gets the Q Conversations treatment on Sept. 25 at noon. The live Q event on Crowdcast will meet Steelers director Eammon Ashton-Atkinson, as well as Out on Film Director Jim Farmer and others central to the festival. The discussion will center on LGBTQ visibility in movies and sports.

Keep turning pages to preview our top seven don’t-miss picks from this year’s Out on Film, starting with the Q Spotlight film. Buy individual screenings and festival passes at outonfilm.org. 

‘STEELERS: THE WORLD’S FIRST GAY RUGBY TEAM’ Director Eammon Ashton-Atkinson

Steelers is a feature-length documentary about London’s first gay rugby club which started in London in 1995. Following the club’s journey at the world’s biggest international gay rugby tournament, the Bingham Cup, the film explores the how a community joined together by their sexuality is transforming lives. Available Sept. 27, 10 a.m. – Sept. 30, 10 a.m.

theQatl.com 19

OUT ON FILM continued ‘CICADA’

Directors Matthew Fifer and Kieran Mulcare After a string of unsuccessful and awkward encounters with women, Ben goes “back on the dick” (as his sister enthusiastically exclaims). Cicada follows Ben as he comes out to the world and develops an intense relationship with Sam, a man of color struggling with deep wounds of his own. As the summer progresses and their intimacy grows, Ben ultimately gains the strength to face a childhood trauma he has long suppressed. Available Sept. 25, 12 noon – Sept. 28, 12 noon


Director Mike Mosallam Set against the twinkling lights of West Hollywood, Breaking Fast is a romantic comedy that follows Mo, a practicing Muslim still reeling from heartbreak. When an All-American guy named Kal offers to join him in his nightly Iftars (the traditional meal eaten by Muslims during Ramadan), meal after meal, the two start to discover they have more in common than meets the eye. Featuring: Haaz Sleiman (Apple+’s Little America), Michael Cassidy People of Earth), and Amin El Gamal (Good Trouble). Available Sept. 26, 10 a.m. – Sept. 29, 10 a.m. 20 theQatl.com


Director Brandon Krajewski When couple Manny and Russ call their marriage quits and get a divorce, what better way to celebrate than heading to the Central Coast of California together for wine, sun, a threesome, and more wine? Manny and Russ are two complex, confident gay men who are struggling to end their marriage while remaining friends. Enter Byron, their close friend, and it’s a post-divorce party! This witty, sharply-written anti-romantic comedy gives freshness to the classic break-up movie by bringing in Stone Fruit a queer perspective and explores the complicated similarities that many couples, both queer and straight, face throughout their love story. Stone Fruit also explores the recent advent of same-sex divorce and provides a quiet nuanced exploration of the dynamics of interracial relationships and the distinct issues facing a generation of gay men post-AIDS, post-marriage equality and post-recession. Available Oct. 3, 10 a.m. – Oct. 5, 10 a.m.


Director Anthony Bawn Directed by former Atlantan Anthony Bawn, As I Am is a story of a young man running from the truth about his childhood returns in order to correct his past but ends up discovering a side of himself that he suppressed. Available Oct. 3, 10 a.m. – Oct. 5, 10 a.m.

As I Am

theQatl.com 21


(Out on Film World premiere) Director Todd Verow In the 1970s, the golden age of gay pornography in New York City, a promising chorus boy is injured and told he will never dance again. Distraught and unimpressed with the “art” films playing seedy Times Square theaters, he gets his friends and lovers together and they start making their own hard core movies. Against all odds the films are wildly successful until drugs, AIDS and cheap video technology bring it all crashing down. Available Sept. 28, 12 noon – Oct. 1, 12 noon

Goodbye Seventies



Director Jon Garcia or any of the actors In the new film from beloved filmmaker Jon

Garcia (The Falls Trilogy), Ruben and Carlos become cellmates in prison. As Ruben learns

the ropes, Carlos becomes a mentor and then

a lover. When Carlos is released, Ruben must deal with his heartbreak until he is released

himself and has a chance at a reconciliation.

Luz examines if love can exist in the real world for these two men.

Available Oct. 1, 12 noon – Oct. 4, 12 noon 22 theQatl.com

Out on Film includes more than 80 titles from 20 countries, including classics with celebrity

guest appearances like 20th anniversary screenings of Margaret Cho’s I’m The One that I Want and

Del Shores’ Sordid Lives, and a 40th anniversary screening of Fame. There are a whopping 13

shorts programs and premiere episodes of two

television series. Find the rest of our Top 20 don’tmiss selections at theQatl.com

Out on Film takes place Sept. 24 – Oct. 6 online.

Visit outonfilm.org for tickets and more information.

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Q Events The Best LGBTQ Things to Do in Atlanta This Week THURSDAY, SEPT. 24 Out on Film The 33rd annual screenings of Atlanta’s LGBTQ film festival go online this year, but that doesn’t detract from the scope of offerings. See what you can get into through Oct. 4 in this issue’s Q Preview and at outonf ilm.org.

Sisters’ Room The backyard and patio are open for women who love women who love an open-air party @ My Sister’s Room, Fridays and Saturdays 8 p.m. – 3 a.m. Pssst. They also sell gallon margs and taco bar kits for delivery or pickup, and they’ve added a mimosa brunch on Sundays. mysistersroom.com

SUNDAY, SEPT. 27 sheNUNigans The gay male do-gooding nuns of Atlanta Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence go live with their brand of fun and charity to benefit LGBTQ programs in need @ Facebook Live, 7 p.m. atlantasisters.org Fashion with Amir

Code Red DJ Mike Pope spins for this new traveling circuit party. Guys wear as much or as little red as they can muster @ Heretic, 10 p.m. universe.com/coderedcircuit

SATURDAY, SEPT. 26 Stardust ft. Detox The Ru queen hits town to headline with some local legends in their own right. Phoenix, Stasha Sanchez, Destiny Brooks Raquel Heart and Taejah Thomas dazzle outdoors under the stars @ Heretic, 7 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

With a passion for fashion and a commitment to switching things, trans man, activist and advocate Amir Jones brings a sense of style to his life’s work transforming the lives of LGBTQ people. He lets you in on his secrets to making it look great @ Instagram Live, 4 p.m. instagram.com/ atlantapride

TUESDAY, SEPT. 29 Eagle Nights All the Leather-Levi fun you expect, and it goes down seven nights a week @ Atlanta Eagle, 3 p.m. to close. atlantaeagle.com

We Have Always Been Here The ATL LGBTQ+ Book Club gathers for a Zoom meeting about their latest title. This one by Samra Habib is a queer Muslim memoir about forgiveness and freedom. Charis Books facilitates the discussion @ Zoom, 10 a.m. charisbooksandmore.com theQatl.com 25

on tA ve .N E dm Pi e



11th St. NE


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Spring St. NW

Q Atlus Map

11 6

Virginia Ave. NE

2 9th St. NE

12 7


Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

 Bars

 Restaurants North Ave. NW

North Ave. NW

 Clubs  Retail/Services

Not Shown

1. Amsterdam Cafe 502 Amsterdam Ave. NE

8. Flex 76 4th St NW

2. Blakes on the Park 227 10th St. NE

9. Henry’s Midtown Tavern 132 10th St NE

Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave SE

10. Joe’s on Juniper Ralph McGill Blvd. NE 1049 Juniper St NE

Sister Louisa’s 466 Edgewood Ave SE

4. Friends on Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 5. My Sister’s Room 84 12th St

11. Zocalo Mexican Kitchen & Cantina 187 10th St NE Highland Ave. NE

6. X Midtown 990 Piedmont Ave. NE

12. Barking Leather After Dark 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE (inside Eagle)

7. Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

13. Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE

26 theQatl.com

Future (Opens July 3) 50 Lower Alabama St SW, Suite 180 Glen Iris Dr. NE

3. Bulldogs Bar 893 Peachtree St NE


The T 465 Boulevard SE Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr NW Lips Drag Show Palace 3011 Buford Highway NE Lost ’n Found Youth Thift Store 2585 Chantilly Dr NE

Ponce De Leon Pl. NE

St. Charles Ave.

Ponce De Leon Pl. NE

r. NE roe D Mon

Charles Allen Dr. NE



Piedmont Park

Piedmont Ave.

Spring St. NW


3 Juniper St. NE


Peachtree St.


West Peachtree St. NE

8th St. NE








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 Bars  Restaurants  Clubs  Retail/Services

Cheshire Bridge Road 5. The Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

9. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd NE

2. Tripp’s Bar 1931 Piedmont Circle NE

6. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

10. Southern Nights 2205 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

3. Woof’s Sports Bar 494 Plasters Ave NE

7. Roxx Tavern 1824 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

11. Tokyo Valentino (Cheshire Bridge) 1739 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

4. BJ Rooster’s 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

8. 2Qute Hair Salon 1927 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

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4. Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

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5. Barking Leather 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 6. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE

D Monroe

Piedmont Park

1. Felix’s on the Square 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

3. Midtown Moon 1510 Piedmont Ave NE



Ansley Park 2. The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Ave NE



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Morningside Dr. NE

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1. Sequel Bar 1086 Alco St. NE


 Bars  Restaurants  Clubs  Retail/Services

7. Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 8. Equilibrium Fitness 1529 Piedmont Ave NE

theQatl.com 27

Q Atlus Map Directory The businesses on the preceding pages are integral parts of Atlanta’s LGBTQ landscape. Those listed in boxes are consistent Q partners and community allies. BARS, CLUBS & RESTAURANTS Amsterdam Cafe 502 Amsterdam Ave. NE Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE BJ Roosters 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Blakes on the Park 227 10th St. NE Bulldogs Bar 893 Peachtree St NE Felix’s on the Square 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Friends on Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE Future 50 Lower Alabama St SW, Suite 180 Henry’s Midtown Tavern 132 10th St NE The Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road NE The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Ave NE Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St NE Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Lips Drag Show Palace 3011 Buford Highway NE Mama’s Cocina 1958 Piedmont Road NE Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave SE Midtown Moon 1510 Piedmont Ave NE My Sister’s Room 84 12th St Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

28 theQatl.com

Roxx Tavern 1824 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

Sequel Bar 1086 Alco St. NE Sister Louisa’s 466 Edgewood Ave SE Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr NW The T 465 Boulevard SE Tripp’s Bar 1931 Piedmont Circle NE Woof’s Sports Bar 494 Plasters Ave NE X Midtown 990 Piedmont Ave. NE Zocalo Mexican Kitchen & Cantina 187 10th St NE

RETAIL & SERVICES 2Qute Hair Salon 1927 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Barking Leather 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Barking Leather After Dark 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE (inside Atlanta Eagle) Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Equilibrium Fitness 1529 Piedmont Ave NE Lost ’n Found Youth Thrift Store 2585 Chantilly Dr NE Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE

ADULT Flex 76 4th St NW Southern Nights 2205 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Starship Galaxy/Starship Novelties 2273 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Tokyo Valentino 1739 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

PALS supports people in Atlanta who are elderly or who are living with or disabled due to a critical illness. We provide pet food and basic veterinary care for the pets of our clients, which enables them to keep their pets. You can support PALS by:

• Attending our monthly Drag •

• •

Queen Bingo fundraisers. Making PALS the beneficiary. of your Amazon Smile, Kroger Plus or Chewy.com accounts. Making a donation online. To learn more about PALS or to donate visit:


Q Advice



Haunted by your ex vs. Fear of making a new one


At first, my ex’s charm was awesome. Of course, all that glitters in this queer world isn’t gold, or hell brass for that matter. My Wonder Woman Lasso of Truth tingled that she might be trouble, but falling for her over time clouded my judgment. She ended up being paranoid and accusatory. The whole thing ended badly. Two years after we broke up, she still threatens, harasses and gossips about me. She even called and lied to my boss. I’ve removed myself from social functions and venues to avoid her. I know she’s capable of being a great person, but she has issues, including drugs, that exacerbate her low self esteem, paranoia, delusions and anger. I’m tired of walking on eggshells. When I reach out to settle things, she won’t even try to meet me halfway. Dear Moving On: You’re fed up and hurt, and that makes it hard to see clearly, as well as what you may be doing to perpetuate the problem. Every time you stay home or let her bother you, she gets attention and the satisfaction of being a thorn in your side. Set yourself free by truly moving on — without her.

30 theQatl.com

Her issues don’t matter. That responsibility was over two years ago. What matters are your issues. Stop making decisions based on what she might do. Unless you’re in danger or she breaks the law, reactions only fuel her fire. Find a way to truly not care what she does or says. Once she stops getting the reactions she so desperately desires, she’ll most likely disappear.


Friends chide me for being all about the chase, but there is a pattern: I start losing interest the moment a sexual quest is conquered. Before sex, the more a guy hits on me, the more I wonder if they’re needy, have no confidence, or aren’t really that attractive. After sex, I have forced myself to stick around a few months, but when I hear “I love you,” I’m out. Feelings kill my boner. I

used to be proud of my hitem-and-quit-em reputation, but lately it’s depressing. Dear Blind It’s common to go all-in at the beginning. The newness brings mystery, novelty and infatuation. It’s also normal for the excitement to wane.

It’s less common to give up entirely. Most trade the initial sexual interest for an interest in the camaraderie and teamwork of a partnership. Whether from fear of abandonment or sheer narcissism, you have a mental block to that second stage. Consider finding help if necessary to learn this: Feelings are good. Accepting them in others is key, and so is getting in touch with yours before disappointing another person. Q Advice is intended for entertainment, not professional counseling. Send your Qs to mike@theQatl.com. ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON

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