Students’ Retreat

On a sunny Saturday morning in late June, a dozen Excell Network students gather in the Mercy Center’s Cypress Room in Burlingame. They have come to the Sisters of Mercy’s well-known retreat center to step out of their very busy lives and reconnect with themselves, each other and God.

While those who have attended previous retreats have some idea of what to expect, others do not.

“I’ve never been to a retreat like this,” says Jacky Brown. “My retreat used to be standing on the street corner drinking and doing drugs.”

Like his fellow students, Jacky spent time in prison. Also like them, he left the path that took him there and embarked on one that leads to transformation and achievement. Although he has been up all night working at one of his two jobs to support himself while attending San Francisco State University, he wanted to be here because he likes to be around people “who have their heads on straight.”

“It feels positive,” says Rodney Thompson, who was recently released from prison after serving a 27-year sentence. “These are people doing things in their lives that I want to do.”

What the students are doing -- which is revealed during the introduction phase of the retreat turns out to be a lot. Like Jacky, they all work and go to school. Some have families to care for as well. The retreat, says Excell Network founder and retreat leader Julio Escobar, offers them a much-needed respite from their demanding lives.

Sitting in chairs formed into a circle, each, in turn, talks about what a retreat means to them.

“I’m kind of a work-a-holic,” says Bobby Jones-Hanley. “For me, it’s a chance to get away from the rat race and disconnect from the craziness and get recharged.”

“It’s a time when like minds come together for rejuvenation, spiritual and emotional nourishment,” says Nicole Bronson.

For Joseph Krauter, a creative writing student at San Francisco State University, it is a “voluntary deviation from what you’re doing, a time to slow down and catch your breath.”

Adrian Lewis calls it a time “to find that energy to be the new Adrian, rather than that old person I was.”

For Walter Hidalgo, it is “a time and place where you can share and be yourself.”

Julio asks everyone to close their eyes and assume a posture of reverence.

By DEACON DANA PERRIGAN Writer | Book Author

A student rings the meditation gong. The sound of the gong slowly fades into silence. Several minutes later, Julio moves from one student to another, placing his hand on their shoulder and giving each a verbal assurance rooted in Scripture.

“You say: ‘I’m too tired.’ God says: ‘I will give you rest.’”

“You say: ‘Nobody loves me.’ God says: ‘I love you.’”

“You say: ‘I can’t forgive myself.’ God says: ‘I forgive you.’”

Later, Julio passes out a bracelet to each student that contains a passage from Scripture.

“We need to be reminded that God is with us,” he says, “that what we do we do not do on our own, but that we do it all with God.”

Julio then asks the students to comment on what they experienced during the meditation.

“I have to remind myself that I am blessed and that I have everything I need,” says Jessy Martinez. “If I can just wake up each morning and try to do what God wants me to do.”

“Yes,” says Nicole, “if we just try he’s not asking us to be perfect.”

“It was a time of calmness, of letting go,” says Rodney. “I’m used to doing things my way, but I don’t want to learn my lessons the hard way anymore.”

“A lot of the time we want to guide our own life,” says Adrian, “instead of asking for that guidance what is the will of the Father?”

“Once I forget myself, I feel a whole lot better,” says Miguel Infante, who underwent several rounds of chemotherapy and surgery in his battle against cancer and was recently awarded a scholarship to the University of San Francisco.

“I know I can’t do it myself, and that I have to do it with God,” says Elizabeth Quiroz, who brought copies of her recently published book, “Purified in the Flames,” to the retreat.

“Times like this are necessary so I can sit still in the moment, be intentional and step out of the wind,” says John Cunningham.

“I felt the calmness and the serenity which is great, because with me it’s all go-go-go,” says Christi Grove. “It helps me to be open-minded and teachable all through the day.”

In the next phase of the retreat, Julio asks the students to talk about “Living Your Strengths,” a book designed to help people identify their strengths and to put them into action in their lives.

Following the discussion, they are asked to identify their mission in life.

“It’s to help change the perception of the black male,” says Jacky, “because I helped tarnish that image.”

“It’s to be a good steward,” says Rodney, “to be who I say I am.”

“To repair some of the damage I’ve done,” says Adrian.

“To support people who are going through a hard time,” says Jessy.

“To become a lawyer and work with the disenfranchised,” says Miguel.

“To obtain my certificate for accounting,” says Walter.

“To use my pain for a good purpose,” says Elizabeth.

“To be a light and a foundation,” says Nicole.

“To create opportunity for redemption,” says Bobby. “To help people excel.”

While two students say they don’t yet know what their mission in life is, just about everyone says that they feel their purpose in life, whatever it is, revolves around helping others.

After lunch, the students are given their final assignment: to create a collage using words, photos and illustrations clipped from an assortment of magazines that represents something about their life, mission or goals. When they are done, each student then gives a brief presentation of their collage to the group.

Elizabeth’s collage contains a photo of a storm.

“Trials can transform you,” she says. “And everything we’ve been through is turning ashes into beauty.”

Rodney’s collage contains a photo of a cheetah and a tiger.

“When I was on the street, I thought of myself as a beast, a predator.” A photo of a house, he says, “represents stability I want to settle down and have a foundation.”

Walter’s collage represents his goals to graduate, get a job, to establish community and a happy home.

Jacky’s collage contains a photo of an auto assembly line.

“It’s about rebuilding my life and being a role model,” he says.

Miguel draws the attention of the group to a photo of a cross.

“I was an atheist for 12 years,” he tells them. “Now, my faith is my foundation.”

At the end of the retreat, Julio asks the students what they take away from their day at the Mercy Center.

They tell him: Peace and serenity. Strength. Inspiration. Motivation. Community. Contentment. The desire to serve others.

“I love coming here,” says Miguel. “Every time I come here I feel better.”

Adrian Lewis grew up in a part of America where the average child — according to twin studies by the Lancet and Rand corporations — has greater levels of post-traumatic stress than children in war-torn Baghdad, Iraq.

Known for its poverty, crime rate, gangs, and deadly riots, South Central, L.A., has been depicted in a number of movies, including “Boyz in the Hood.” The film, says Adrian, doesn’t come close to describing the gritty reality he remembers.

“It was pretty dangerous,” he says. “It was a hostile environment to grow up in.”

Adrian remembers being chased and assaulted on his way to and from junior high school. He remembers the day he was shot in the back while walking home from the swimming pool with friends. And he remembers being braced by gang members trying to determine if he was friend or foe.

“I told them I didn’t belong to no gang,” he says. “I thought that would be good enough. But it was implicit: If you grew up in a particular neighborhood in L.A., you were identified as a member of that gang.”

Raised by a single mother, Adrian never knew his father. And when his mother died of cancer at the age of 39, his world fell apart. A month later, at the age of 16, he was homeless and desperately searching for direction.