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FROM THE EDITOR

PUBLISHER

PLAYTIME ENTERTAINMENT

Welcome to the NEW PLAYTIME! After 16 years of continuous print, PLAYTIME is evolving once again and we couldn’t be more excited about it! We intend to bring you the same quality the national magazines offer along with the local attachment that has been so successful over the past 16 years. We have assembled a local team that will create an experience that hasn’t been seen in the market to date.

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Kevin Galbraith

ART DIRECTOR Dax Montilla

DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Dan Hall

CREATIVE CONSULTANT Mark G

PHOTOGRAPHY

With this issue we have expanded our layout to three models. Our cover model is a nationally known Adult Actress and to set this off with a bang is the ultra sexy, Angie Savage. We are also introducing the newly branded “PLAYTIME PRINCESS”. To launch this for us is the stellar Pharyn Sparx! Our third model will always be our hometown girl and always the hottest that we have to offer!

Senior Photographers

David Brandt, Daveed Benito Staff Photographers

Kevin Marx, Casey Alcorn, Jez Noble Michael (CITA)

Makeup & Hair

Amanda Barboa • Eric Jimenez Courtney Malcic

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

E. Normus Johnson, Anita Mandapay, Dax Montilla, Dr. Dick, Jay Pizzle, JD Slaughter, Jaime’ En Fuego, Madame Troyshenka, Nikki Nova, The Mistaken Genius, Suavo Sven, Dr. Susan May, Ina Laughing Winds

We are also introducing with our maiden launch, “Ask Nikki”. Written by the world famous Playboy Hostess, Nikki Nova… Who better to answer those hard to ask questions guys? So feel free to send her your most dark thoughts and questions!

INTERNET MARKETING & WEB DESIGN Tai Savet, Karl “Monsta” Gustav

SALES & MARKETING

Chris Brasuel, Dan Hall, Deanna Martin, Karen Delcid, Monica Marquez

PLAYTIME, as always, wants to know YOUR thoughts, ideas and opinions for the magazine. Feel free to email me directly at Editor@Playtime.com.

BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT Gordon Y

PUBLIC RELATIONS

Lynn Allen Jeter & Associates

We would like YOUR involvement in Playtime, below is how to interact with us.

PROMOTION / EVENTS

Korey Aubey, Rommil Fitz, Dicky Smallz

FOUNDERS

William R Crosby Jim Keeler Playtime Volume XVII Number 03 ©Copyright 2010 by Playtime Entertainment, all rights reserved. Published monthly in the United States. Printed in the USA. Distributed in the USA. Custodian of records is Kevin Galbraith. All records required by law to be maintained by publisher are located at 3045 E. Main Street, Mesa AZ 85213. Publisher disclaims all responsibility to return unsolicited graphic and editorial material, and all rights in portions vest in publisher. Letters to Playtime magazine or its editors are assumed intended for publication in whole or in part and may therefore be used for such purposes. Letters become the property of Playtime. Nothing may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Playtime will accept advertising from anyone over the age of 18, as long as the product or service advertised is legal and that the ads in question are not used for any other purpose not stated therein. Advertisements may be rejected by the publisher or agents of this publication if there is any doubt as to the age of the advertiser or the purpose of the ad. Any similarity between persons or places mentioned in the fiction or semi-fiction, and real places or persons living or dead, is coincidental. All models are 18 years of age or older. Model releases and proof of age are on file in our Main Office, at the above address.

MARCH 2010

Playtime

If you are having an event you would like us to cover in Playtime, email us at Events@Playtime.com

PHARYN SPARX P. 58

Have a story you want to see in Playtime, email it to Articles@Playtime.com

Princess Playtime Magazine is distributed free of charge through special agreements with select advertisers. Free issues are to be limited to one copy per person. Only authorized businesses may sell Playtime at its cover price. Any unauthorized businesses taking free copies from authorized establishments and selling them at their own, will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and fined $1000 per occurance.

Are you the hottest model around and want to be published? Email us a couple of really hot photos to Models@Playtime.com Looking for a Career? We are always looking for Writers, Designers, Sales Reps and Photographers. Email your resume to: Careers@Playtime.com.


FEATURES

18

24 • ROAD TRIP!

Exploring Nightlife in Arizona’s Other Cities

30 • Spring Training 2010

Jenna

Local Lovely

The Cactus League Begins!

50 • Babes Cabaret A Place to Play

THE STUFF 14 • GAMBLING :

College Basketball & Poker Slaughterhouse

28 • The New Casual Mens Fashions

32 • What’s Cool is Still Cool Womens Fashions

44 • Polliwog

Regrouped and Wild

46 • Eating Outside

Great Valley Venues for Fine Patio Dining

48 • The MUSE

Inspiring America One Record at a Time

10 – Dr. Dick 12 – What’s News 13 – Top Ten 16 – Cool Stuff 49 – Events & Shows 52 – Being Scene 64 – Sex Health

24

36

58

Angie Savage

Pharyn Sparx

66 – Sinful Cinema 68 – Sex & Spirituality 70 – Ask Nikki 72 – Laughs 74 – What’s Your Sign 78 – Fun Directory 79 – Map

30

Playtime Princess 50


DR. DICK

GO AHEAD...ASK

Dr. Dick Q: Where is the best place to go to get a god blow job? - Darrel A: Well, I suppose that all depends on whether you want it from god himself, or one of his representatives, doesn’t it. Q: When I roll back my foreskin a little bit, there are about 3 small clusters of little white bumps, almost like ingrown pimples or sumthing, this could be because of masturbating but I am not sure as they have been there for like a year, can you please help me to tell me what they could be and if they are dangerous? - Mark J. A: Have you thought about seeing a real doctor? They get paid for dealing with the kind of stuff that makes normal people queasy. Oh, and stop masturbating with bacon grease. That might help...

Q: When I go near the girl, when I touch my body to her for just one minute, my semen flows. It is creating depression in my mind. What can I do to avoid such early flow? - Raza Ali A: Try a strategically placed rubber band. Q: Is six inches big enough for a dick? - Mr. R. A: Depends on what you’re planning to do with it. It seems to me that if you have to ask, you already have one of the prerequesites hammered down. Most dicks I know suffer from endowment issues, which is why they tend to overcompensate in other areas. Six inches should be plenty to start you on the road to dickhood, if that’s really where you want to be.

Q: Is it not normal to think about sex 24 hours a day? - Stacey. A: Of course it’s not “not normal.” The world needs more nymphomaniacs, like you. Q: My penis is 5(1/2)’’. My gf wants 7’’. How should I increase its size. I don’t want to under go any operation. – Too Small. A: You’ve heard the expression, it’s not the size that counts, it’s what you do with it, right? That’s a crock. Bite the bullet and get that operation, little man, or you’ll spend the rest of your life feeling inadequate when beautiful women laugh at you.

Dr Dick is a syndicated charlatan and author of the book, Sexual Problems: You’re A Loser If You Have Them. The book has yet to be printed, but hopes are high that it will be, eventually. If you have a problem that you think only Dr. Dick can answer, send it to Ask Dr. Dick, 3045 East Main Street. Mesa, AZ 85213. Or send e-mail c/o artdirector@playtime.com The opinions expressed by Dr. Dick are not necessarily those of Playtime Entertainment and they refuse to accept any blame for anybody stupid enough to take his advice.


WHAT’S NEWS STRANGE WEB NEWS FROM AROUND THE WORLD

Holiday Inn location in London to offer

ʻHuman Bed Warmer Serviceʼ A Person to Warm Up your Sheets Guests at London’s Holiday Inn can now shake off the cold England nights with a very unique way to warm up the bed. They enlist a staff member to do it for them. The Holiday Inn in the London location will offer a free five-minute “human bed warming” service throughout next week, according to Britain’s Sky News. So what does a human bed warmer do? A hotel staffer, dressed from head-to-toe in a white, fleecy suit that looks like a cross between white footie pajamas and a human towel, will get into your bed upon request and move around, generating some heat between those chilly sheets. It’s like “having a giant hot water bottle in your bed,” Holiday Inn spokesperson Jane Bednall told Sky News. The service may be well worth waiting around for a few minutes before bedtime, since the weather in England has definitely been on the cold side this year. “Edinburgh Sleep Center” Edinburgh Sleep Center spokesman Dr. Chris Idzikowski told Sky News in Britain that a warm bed is important for a good night’s rest. “There’s plenty of scientific evidence to show that sleep starts at the beginning of the night when body temperature starts to drop,” he said. “A warm bed - approximately 20 to 24C - is a good way to start this process, whereas a cold bed would inhibit sleep.” With that in mind, it doesn’t seem like a bad idea to invite someone dressed like a yeti into your bed.

4 Women Avoid Jail in Penis-Glue Plot A woman who tied up a cheating lover and glued his penis to his stomach said Tuesday that she didn’t mean to hurt him and only overreacted because he had tried to contact her 12-year-old daughter. Therese A. Ziemann, 48, said she and three other women only meant to confront the married man about his cheating ways. Her decision to grab the bottle of nail glue from her makeup bag was “a stupid spur-of-the-minute decision,” she said. “I had just found my daughter’s number in his cell phone,” she said outside a Calumet County courtroom. “It was just a warning from me to him, to stay away from the kids.” Ziemann, her sister, another lover and the man’s wife were all sentenced Tuesday to one year probation plus community service for their roles in the revenge plot. A judge also imposed and 12 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

stayed jail sentences of 60 days for Ziemann and 30 days for the other three, meaning they would only serve the jail terms if they violate the conditions of their probation. Ziemann, a mother of six, acknowledged that she lured the 37-yearold man to a motel last July after the man’s wife contacted her and told her he was seeing other women. First she tied the man up and blindfolded him under the guise of erotic play. Then she summoned the other three women with a text message, according to court documents. She told police she slapped the man in the face, cut off his underwear and used the glue to attach his penis to his stomach. The other three women arrived, and several berated and belittled the man. Eventually he worked his way out of his restraints and the women fled. The gluing caused the man “no permanent physical injury,” said Calumet County district attorney Ken Kratz. The press is not naming the man or his wife to protect his identity as a victim of sexual assault. All four women were charged with being party to the crime of felony false imprisonment. Ziemann was also charged with misdemeanor counts of battery and fourthdegree sexual assault. She reached a plea deal in which she pleaded no contest to battery and a reduced charge of disorderly conduct. Her sister and the other lover also agreed to plead no contest to a lesser charge of misdemeanor disorderly conduct. Michelle M. Belliveau, 43, told the judge she was “extremely sorry” and apologized specifically to the victim. “We got caught up in something bad,” she told him tearfully. Belliveau is Ziemann’s sister. Wendy L. Sewell, 44, also apologized, saying she didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. She said she only meant to confront the man by catching him in his cheating ways. “I wanted to say what I got to say and leave and never look back,” said Sewell. The felony charge against the wife was initially dismissed after the man told police she was in the motel room but didn’t actively participate. But Kratz said he obtained jail telephone recordings made when the man was in custody on unrelated child-abuse charges. In the tapes, the man and wife collaborated on “concocting” her story, he said. So Kratz charged the 31-year-old wife with disorderly conduct. She pleaded no contest Tuesday and was also sentenced to probation and community service. She declined to comment before sentencing. The judge acknowledged a possible double-standard with the sentencing. If the incident involved a man who committed similar acts against an unwilling woman, that man would doubtless face prison

time, Judge Donald Poppy said. But in this case the victim and his “bad behavior” were partly to blame, he said. The victim “started the ball rolling, philandering with others besides his wife, who was putting bread on the table and taking care of his children,” the judge said. After the sentencing the victim and his wife walked out of the courtroom together. The man directed obscene gestures with each hand toward the handful of television cameras. Outside the courthouse, as he got into an SUV with his wife, he said he felt bad for all four women. He acknowledged that his own actions contributed to the situation, and he said he had no hard feelings toward any of them.

Website for Beautiful People Kicks off Fatties after Holidays A dating website for “beautiful people” says it has booted off 5,000 members for piling on the pounds over Christmas. BeautifulPeople.com said it acted after users posted photos of themselves celebrating Christmas and the New Year - revealing they had “let themselves go”. “We responded to complaints by moving the newly chubby members back to the rating stage. This is the same as having them re-apply,” said Greg Hodge, the managing director. “Their reapplications were reviewed by existing members and only a few hundred were voted back in. Over 5,000 were rejected.” Most of those expelled came from the US and Canada, and nearly 900 were from Britain. The social networking site, which boasts 550,000 members worldwide, allows its members to decide on who should be allowed to join. Mr Hodge said: “Every year we see that some of our members from western cultures eat and drink to excess over the holidays and clearly their looks suffer,” he said. “The USA has been grossly over-indulging since Thanksgiving - it’s no wonder that so many members have been expelled from the network. We hope they will be back after shedding the festive pounds. “In the UK and Canada, Christmas and the New Year are all about over-eating, overdrinking and watching TV on the sofa.” In an attempt to soften the blow to those given the boot, the website sent details of fitness centres where they could work off their holiday excesses.


TOP TEN

THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR THE DAY AFTER ST. PATRICKS DAY

10.

“Ugh,Thanks to you I can never eat Cheetos again.”

9. “There is no such thing as green tequila” 8. “Bananas are for EATING!” 7. “Why is the dog looking at you, wimpering, and then licking his ass?”

6. “There is a very angry woman and a very disappointed Donkey at the door.”

5. “Dude you should see the pictures!” 4. “Hey man, there is a big hairy biker at the door and he says you two are married!?!”

3. “NO, no, the cop was cool, it was the hooker that was pissed!”

2. “Why is there a clown car and fifteen angry midgets covered in puke in our front yard?”

1. “Sir, could you please wake up and step out of the car.”


SLAUGHTERHOUSE

GAMBLING TIPS >>> JD SLAUGHTER’s

College Basketball

&POKER Texas Holdʼem Style

As a special gift for you this month, having just watched the World Series of Poker Europe, I’m a little juiced up to start thinking about how I can get my game in shape for this year’s World Series in Vegas. So I’ve compiled for you 5 easy things you can do to improve your poker game. But first…

1 vs 16 – 16s never beat 1s, just pick the 1s and move on 2 vs 15 – same as above – it does happen, but so rarely I just always pick the 2s (problem with picking a 15 or 16 is that the 1s and 2s are usually favorites in the second and third rounds, so if you pick the underdog in the first round, you may lose multiple rounds of winning from the top seed)

It’s March, and that means one thing is on millions of peoples’ minds. The NCAA Basketball tournament bracket. Well I’m here to help. Last year I introduced my “March Madness” rules, which I had developed over the course of 20 years of unsuccessfully playing in these pools. I then followed my rules and took a 2nd place finish in a 150 person pool, my first time ever finishing that high. So, in honor of the craziness of my rules and the fact that they actually worked, I resubmit for your consideration, the following…

3 vs 14 and 4 vs 13 – 1 of the 13s and 14s seems to win every year. So I go with the one I like the most. (actually I was so aggravated with my historical performance last year I literally rolled a die and went with the teams that came up – and I got Siena (13) and Villanova (12) (who both won and played each other in Round 2) right, giving me 25 first round points and 24 second round points just for a fluke of luck.

March Madness

5 vs 12 and 6 vs 11 – You might see a trend by now. I pick 2 of the underdogs here to win, there is enough parity that the return on picking the underdog is worth the risk

The Bracket: Of course we all know the secretary in receiving won

8 vs 9 and 7 vs 10 – This is going to seem counter-intuitive, but I actu-

last year because her boyfriend’s cousin went to Michigan State, her aunt used to live in North Carolina, she likes the Connecticut mascot and she remembered hearing on TV once that Villanova was good at basketball. Nothing you can do about that. But, what you can do is use “JD’s Super Scientific Formula for Guaranteeing a Victory in Your Office Pool” (patent pending) After many years of thinking I knew what I was doing because I watched a bunch of college games and read all the previews and predictions before the tourney and then flaming out miserably in the pool, I designed this formula which kept me in the running the whole tournament in 2008, and then led to a 2nd place finish in 2009. So here it is, JDSSFGCYOP. As always, if any of these tips don’t help you, I will disavow any knowledge of this article. I’m a giver, what can I say. First, my tips are skewed toward pools that give more points for picking underdogs (My pool gives you the amount of points of the seed of the team who wins multiplied by the round number – if you are running a pool, this is the best way. This way if you correctly pick a 16 to beat a 1, you don’t get the same amount of points you would if a 9 beat an 8; which is much more probable) But the tips are useful for anyone regardless.

First Round: I look at the matchups by grouping, and we know there are historical trends that work in our favor. So I make my first round picks this way: 14 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

ally research these matchups more than any others and pick these games based on who I think is going to win. These teams are often coin flips, and even though you get extra points for picking the underdog in my league, I often like to look at one or two of these teams as a possible second round upset opportunity – so I don’t want to pick against the 7 seed just to try to get the extra 3 points if I think the 2 seed is vulnerable in the second round.

Did I lose you? Just hold onto this until you have your bracket in hand, it will all seem so logical then. Then, in the second round, you will be left with 8 games with the 1s and 2s playing. Again, I lean toward favorites, but I would suggest picking 2 upsets here. Then you have 8 games that have mix of 3s, 4s and some longshots mixed in with the mid seeds. I go about 50/50 with favorites vs. underdogs here. Do a little homework and make your best guess as to who is going to be able to win two games under that pressure. From here, I do my homework on the teams left and how they match up, and go the rest of the way with who I think will win, ignoring seeding unless you’re on the fence, in which case I go with the underdog. So good luck, hope that helps you have some fun with your bracket!


SLAUGHTERHOUSE

Now, on to the Poker (Texas Hold‘em Style)....

Five Things You Should Do Now to Improve Your Poker Game. 1. Pay Attention.

Books have been written about tells, and you can learn a lot from them. But if you want the idiot’s guide, here are three things you can start doing right now. First, watch how a person looks at their cards and then what they do when they are going to fold, call or raise. Most non-professional players give away their intentions based on what they do after looking at their cards (not all look at them until it’s their turn, but enough do that it can help you decide what you will do sometimes). Second, watch players when they are in pots and you are not. That is not the time to check out the TVs or waitresses. Try to guess what they have and see how you do when they show hands. Finally, watch how a person puts their chips in the pot. The actual mechanics of how they do it can be telling.

2. Fold.

This one word is the key to success in poker. Most people learning the game now have some rough clue about what hands to play before the flop. So make sure you get some sense of pre-flop hand selection. But that’s where many players’ critical thinking ends. The key to winning this game is knowing when to fold AFTER the flop. Never waste bets on the turn and river because you can’t stand to see your pair of kings be beat when there is an ace on the board, or your two pair be beat by a flush. It’s OK to be afraid of being bluffed, but don’t go overboard and throw away your money time and time again because you know that jerk got lucky against you and you just have to see it.

3. Honor the Turn.

This is the most important card of a hold ‘em game. Your odds are pretty clear, and the field typically thins on the turn. This is where you want to get the most money in that you can when you are ahead and play as cheaply as possible when you are chasing. If you believe you are ahead on the turn, pump the pot. I generally try to avoid pushing all in pre-flop or on the flop if I think I’m only a small favorite, but on the turn don’t be shy about getting your money in.

4. Bluff Less.

If I could pick one characteristic of your average amateur player, it’s the note I have on about 50 people on my online poker site….”hates to fold”. Remember a lot of these people playing poker have come from the blackjack or craps tables; they want action and they hate sitting and watching. This means they are more likely to call than fold. So I’m not saying never bluff, just pick your spots. My win percentage went way up, especially online, when I ratcheted my bluffing down. For some reason online players assume a bet is a bluff, they WANT to catch you bluffing. So for that reason they’ll pay you off when you have a big hand, but they will also catch you when you are bluffing.

5. Stay calm.

That is all. Do not take it personally when someone gets lucky and beats you. It happens. Just tell yourself that if you make the right play and get unlucky, it’s not your fault. All you can do is make the best plays you can and hope they work out. Until next month, happy gambling!


These Boots are Made for

Stompin!

While they say clothes can make a man (or woman), can they say that about shoes? Maybe not, but these shoes scream “I’m gonna kick your ass!” The New Rock shoe and clothing company hails from Spain where leather craftsmen have been creating art out of shoes for generations. They produce several types of biker/goth style boots, shoes and clothes. While this is what they are famous for in 70 countries worldwide, they also produce a wide range of cowboy boots that sport their own menacing details, like bullet clips in the boot straps and skulls in the spur area. There are several lines of New Rock products, including (but not limited to) ‘Gothic’ boots and shoes, motorcycle style boots, Western/Cowboy Boots, high-heeled boots, formal shoes and boots, and New Rock trainers. Their clothing line, most of which is comprised mainly of handcrafted leather are rare sought after commodities and most are tailor made to fit in with a style of boot. Due to the unusual and aggressive design throughout the range of New Rock shoes, including extremely thick rubber soles, metal spikes, skull adorned buckles and flames, the brand is widely associated with the goth and punk subcultures. The boots are also widely stocked by retailers of fetish clothing and accessories. These boots sci-fi meets medieval battlefield style has even been seen on the feet of the characters, The Judoon, from the hit british television series, “Doctor Who”. You can get your hands on some New Rock boots locally at Body Envy Boutique in Peoria. They have many styles to choose from. Visit their website www.bodyenvyboutique.com for details or you can go to www.newrockstore. com to order online.

Big KABOOM! for a small price The JVC RV-NB50 Kaboom, $299

How long has it been since you had a boom box. I don’t mean a portable radio, I mean a real bonafide BOOMBOX. If you love sporting a retro look, and enjoy carrying your tunes around for everyone to hear you, then this new iPod/iPhone speaker dock by JVC will really suit your style. The new JVC RV-NB50 Kaboom speaker dock features a CD player that can handle MP3 and WMA file playback, an FM tuner. The look is old school cool with just enough modernism to suit more refined tastes. The bass tube style layout will provide you with hours of ground shaking enjoyment. Next time you are pool side remember your Kaboom box.

COOL Stuff for the

WEEKEND WARRIOR B Y E . N ORMUS JOHNSON

Never be Stranded Again The Eton Scorpion, $50

There is nothing like being on the open road, having engine problems, finding out your phone isn’t charged, then having to walk your bike for miles until you find a mechanic. Enter the Eton Scorpion, an all in one portable solution for your emergency roadside needs. The Scorpion sports an array of useful features such as an AM/FM/Weatherband radio, LED flashlight, and a USB cell phone charger. The best part is that not only is it solar powered, but when the clouds come out, you can use the included hand crank to juice your phone or iPod up. This adventurous gadget is perfect for the tech-loving weekend warrior.

16 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010


TOURING

S ’ A N O ARIOZF THE WAY OUT

S N O I T A N DESTI

BY DAX MONTILLA

Spring is here and it’s time to stretch your legs for a bit and

head outside. This is the best time of year to live in Arizona. The temperatures are incredibly mild and will be for the next few months, so why not get out and explore your state a little. Some prefer the open road when we venture out into the unknown. Arizona is mecca for motorcycle riding in the spring. The weather is very stable and mild, the roads are very good, and almost every town outside of the central valley welcomes bikers with open arms. Even if you are a long time resident of Arizona, there are most likely places and country you have never seen before. There may even be places worth revisiting that you haven’t seen in a while. The Grand Canyon’s visitor center has just undergone major renovations and there is that scary new sky bridge. Flagstaff and Payson have been growing in leaps and bounds in the last few years and Tucson is becoming a hot spot for local and regional music. For our new residents I can only say that if you have only seen the valley cities you haven’t come close to seeing it all. This state has beauty in every corner, you just have to be willing to get in your car and drive. Now is the time to get out and have an adventure before the summer heat drives you back into your home. But where to start? There are so many unique places to visit in Arizona that it would do no justice trying to fit it all in this one article. So we are giving you a mission, should you choose to accept it, to go out and enjoy the journey as much as the destination. There may just be something you have never seen before.

FLAGSTAFF www.flagstaff.com

The ADVENTURE

The best way to truly make Flagstaff a destination, is to take the more scenic route. The 89A starts from the small town of Prescott, going up into the Mingus mountains and through the cliffside town of Jerome, dropping into the small town of Cottonwood, then traveling up through the new age center of the tourist universe, Sedona, and winding through Oak creek canyon finally ending up at Flagstaff. This route will give you a small glimpse into the true hidden beauty of the state. You may want to spend a few days slowly working your way north, stopping in at a town or two for the night or you may just make a day trip and take in all the scenery, either 24 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

way will prove to be enjoyable. Every corner will offer you new views, new landscapes and incredible beauty. This circuitous route will take a lot more time than the two hours by major freeway but the trip is worth it.

WHAT TO SEE WHEN ON THE ROAD

Prescott looks like the town out of the movie Back to the Future. It has a whiskey row that is legendary. Some of the bars have been here since the late 1800’s. Definitely worth a stop for the night if you are going to toss a few back. Every bar is an adventure onto itself and the people are very friendly. There is Bucky’s casino at the top of the hill and an 18 hole golf course at the bottom. You can head out and rent a canoe on Lynx lake or just take in the great food and drink while you shop. Jerome used to be an old mining town, but it is now primarily an artist community. The work these people do is almost as amazing as the view. You can feel the history as you walk around this village. Cottonwood has been around for awhile and they are a gateway themselves. You can jump onto the Highway 260 from here and cross the state to Payson if you would like. another beautiful drive in and of itself. If you are into riding quads or dirt bikes, Cottonwood has a real nice OHV area to tear around in as well. Sedona is well known for being a tourist destination for the new age types. It has become a northern Arizona version of Beverly Hills with many mansions now dotting the mountainsides. People come here seeking peace and solace from the outside world, in Mercedes and Jaguars. This is a little community that has made the choice to limit growth in favor of keeping the night sky. Well that and all the Arizona tourist crap you can pick up. All new age rich people and tourist jokes and snobbery aside, the views driving into this community are breathtaking. The red rocks starkly contrast with the green juniper and cottonwood trees. These formations have inspired many generations of artists, musicians and poets. They have some great jazz musicians and unbelievable restaurants featuring cuisine normally found only in a major metropolis. You can take the Pink Jeep Tour and see all the astounding rock formations dotting the landscape, or if you are feeling adventurous, take your own four wheel drive out into the unknown. Schnebly Hill Trail is by far one of the best and most scenic.


ROAD TRIP Oak Creek Canyon takes you on a peaceful winding route through shaded canyons. For the avid fly fisherman Oak Creek itself is an unbelievable trout fishery and home to the famous Slide Rock natural water play area. Though at this time of year with the sub zero water temperatures you may prefer to wet a line rather than your butt. The trees and general foliage in this area tend to be more native and give you an idea of the hidden gems spread in canyons all over the state. This canyon is also incredibly fun to drive if you are on a street bike or have a high performance car. The twists and turns will have you grinning from ear to ear. Just don’t panic your passengers, the cliffside curves can give you vertigo in some places. Flagstaff, the largest city in northern Arizona. It is a large city with a small town feel. Right on the legendary Route 66, and major rail lines, Flagstaff has been a hub for artists, musicians, and weary travelers for decades. The restaurants shops and bars in old town Flag are still in buildings that have stood the test of time since the turn of the 20th century. Flagstaff is also gateway to the south rim of the Grand Canyon, one of the major natural wonders of the world. You have to visit it at least once before you die. Seeing the canyon puts all of the little things in your life into perspective. Spring skiing is coming to an end but Arizona Snowbowl does have some great hiking and mountain bike trails and, if the snow is gone, you can pay a small fee and take the chair lifts up to the top of the 11 thousand foot peak and get a glimpse of your world. There is also Meteor Crater, the Lowell Observatory and the Arboretum, Northern Arizona’s Gifts to Academia and to mankind. These things and more are all available to you when you head up north.

WHEN THE NIGHT CALLS

There are obviously so many bars to list for these locations we would need a book just to cover them all. Suffice it to say you have the booze covered on your journey. But what about a little female entertainment? Well my friends I am sorry to report that there is only one major club that offers the heat to warm your willie on a cold northern Arizona night. The Cinnabar Topless Club 110 S. San Francisco St. • Flagstaff 928-774-0444

PAYSON

www.paysonrimcountry.com

THE ADVENTURE

This trip depends on which part of the valley you hail from. If you are from the east side of town, then you take the Bush Highway (87) directly north until you get to Rye, then Payson. If you travel from the west side then you would want to take the I-17 until you get to Camp Verde, then get on highway 260 east until you hit Payson. The 260 route out of Camp Verde is by far the more visual drive, where every subtle change in elevation brings a change in scenery. If you take the Bush Highway you are greeted with amazing views of the Four Peaks mountain range, mount Ord and many other smaller hills and valleys. On this highway you also get the chance to visit at least two major lakes in Arizona, Roosevelt Lake and Saguaro Lake, both lakes part of the same chain (the other two, Apache and Canyon, can be accessed via Roosevelt). You also can check out the Salt River in all of it’s native glory. If you feel adventurous and want to play in your four wheel drive, you can skip the 87 from Mesa and just take the old hwy 88 through Apache Junction, past all the major lakes on the Salt River Chain and some of the best the desert has to offer. But the road is rough and long, eventually you will reach Roosevelt and can circle back to the Bush Highway and continue on. Either route has unparalleled beauty and

breathtaking views. But the major adventure begins when you actually get to Payson. The Highway 260 outside of Payson and on up to the Mogollon rim is a very well maintained road that just screams to be driven. Take your bike or your sports car on this road and you will realize why you spent all your money on a car too small for your family, or a bike that only sees the light of day for trips like this. It all becomes worth it.

WHAT TO SEE WHEN ON THE ROAD

From the I-17: Camp Verde is a sleepy little town but a very necessary stop to any northern destination. You can stop and wet your toes in the Verde River or try to catch a trout or two. The Camp Verde is a great place to ride a quad or dirt bike. There is also a hidden little nudist community that uses the hot springs in this area. Fun for a day of sun if that’s your fancy. There are alot of small towns to visit, many are nothing more than strings of cabins and a general store and gas stations but they provide valuable information as towards neat things to do in the area and the people are always willing to help. Great stops include Clints Well, and the Blue Ridge area. From the Bush Highway, Highway 87: You start off from Fountain Hills, a great desert community with a huge fountain that when on, can be seen for miles. Nice for a visit and they have some of the best art shows in the valley. Fort McDowell is and Indian community just north of Fountain Hills. There they have camping and hiking access to the Verde River and of course the Fort McDowell Casino. Great for a couple hands of cards and a beer before you start your quest. Saguaro Lake and the Salt River is accessible from this highway. Saguaro is the last lake in the Salt River chain and features skiing, fishing and camping opportunities as well as hiking. The Salt River has many different birds and mammals to watch as well as great fishing. If you check them out later in the spring early summer they open up for tubing and rafting. One of the most popular summertime pass times in this state. Roosevelt Lake is the biggest lake on the Salt River chain of lakes and by far the most impressive. You link up to the highway 188 here and it brings us to the tiny communities in the Tonto Basin. A great stop to fill the tank on your bike and take a picture or two of the antique schoolhouse and buildings in this community. You can also access Canyon and Apache Lakes from here. Rye is a pastoral stop right before you enter Payson. The major landmark from the road is a motorcycle boneyard that stretches endlessly out into the meadows. You can find some real antique bikes and parts here. Or just stop for a beautiful photo op. When you get to Payson the trip seems like the end, but my friends you are just beginning. You have to catch the scenic hwy 260 and head up to the rim country. There perched on the Mogollon Rim you will see the world laid out before you. On a clear day you can see for hundreds of miles. Eagles fly beneath your feet and deer and elk are everywhere. Up on the rim you will find hundreds of hiking trails, mountain biking trails, free camping opportunities and small lakes and creeks to wet a line or a toe. There is Fool Hollow Lake, and Willow Springs, both feed into the stream system that feeds the Salt River. Up here is located Sunrise Ski Resort, where they have the ability to keep the spring skiing good for at least half the month with a true alpine lodge at it’s base. During the spring they also offer hiking and biking trails as well as visits tot he top of it’s three peaks. CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010| 25


ROAD TRIP You can gamble, dine and be entertained at the Hon Dah Casino then take a beautiful drive up to Pinetop, Lakeside or Heber or the other small communities up there for some fun.

WHEN THE NIGHT CALLS

Just outside of Payson, on the way up to the rim, is the small community of Star Valley, a jumble of elegant cabins and rv resorts. On your way through you have to pop in and visit Pete’s Place, a friendly strip club where the girls are all very willing to help make your rim visit memorable. Pete’s Place 255823 E. Highway 260 • Payson 928-474-9963

TUCSON www.visittucson.org

THE ADVENTURE

Tucson is the second largest city in Arizona. It has become a thriving metropolis full of youthful energy and spirit. Tucson is shaking the dust from it’s boots and is quickly becoming a major metropolis. If you have never been to Tucson then you have really missed out. The only adventure in the drive to Tucson is really just avoiding the highway patrol. The I-10 to Tucson is as straight as an arrow, and takes around two hours to complete. It is a scenic drive in that you can see land stretching for miles into unknown hills and valleys. You can almost imagine what the lone cowboy must have felt on his arduous journey to the southern lands.

city’s major attractions. Check them out, the beautiful ladies will make your trip all the more memorable. Curves Cabaret 2130 N. Oracle • Tucson 520-884-7210 • curvescabaret.com Raider’s Reef 6475 E. Golf Links Rd. • Tucson 520-745-8125 • www.raidersreefaz.com TD’s West 749 W. Miracle Mile • Tucson 520-882-0650 • www.tdsshowclubs.com TD’s East 5822 E. Speedway Blvd. • Tucson 520-790-7307 • www.tdsshowclubs.com There is too much to mention about these unique destinations. The best way to discover these hidden gems is to venture out and find them for yourself. Time to start making those Arizona memories.

WHAT TO SEE WHEN ON THE ROAD

Surrounded by majestic Saguaro forests and dramatic mountain peaks Tucson blends the natural world with that of a thriving city. Tucson is the epicenter for Southwestern cuisine, culture and art. But you don’t want to just eat and take in the colors on canvas, there is much more to see outside of the elegant restaurants and shops. Head across the border into Mexico and have yourself an international weekend. You can take a brief drive to Sonoita and taste wines made in Arizona wine country. That’s right, Arizona has wine country. You can drive up the twisting roads to Mt. Lemmon where you can hike and take in the stunning views. Head to Lake Patagonia, a hidden gem just outside Sonoita and the small town of Patagonia, where the you can enjoy native oak and dogwood forests and hills of undulating grasses. The main thing now is the music, ever since Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers made this town a rock destination in the 90s, Tucson’s music scene has grown in leaps and bounds. You can find virtually any kind of genre represented by one of the many music venues in town. Your best bet for a memorable trip is to hike one of the many natural trails just on the outskirts of town to work up a good hunger, then eat at one of the many incredible southwestern restaurants in town, you can drive down to Tombstone to see the OK Corral or stay near town and hit up old Tucson Studios where some of the greatest cowboys movies were made. Then finally when your day is done, you head to your venue of choice, to take in one of the many talented artists who take the stage every night here. The best part is that if you watch your alcohol intake, you can make it back home in enough time to go to work the next day or just get toasted and stay in one of the many hotels in town. Either way visiting the Tucson area will leave you with fond memories for years to come.

WHEN THE NIGHT CALLS:

Of all cities outside of Phoenix and the greater valley, Tucson sports the most adult venues. They are all located just a short hop away from all the

26 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

A SPECIAL NOTE ABOUT

SPRING BREAK Now everyone is aware that late March brings spring breakers to Arizona. Young college kids flock here every year to cruise places like, Lake Mead, and Lake Havasu to take in the rays and the steamy coeds in ultra small bikinis lining the shoreline. It is known worldwide that ASU, NAU and U of A have some of the hottest girls in the United States and they are known to melt the hearts of even the most frozen frat boy. Arizona is also a gateway to south of the border party fun. Rocky Point is legendary for the 18 and up spring break crowd during this month. JJ’s Cantina in Cholla Bay is one of the most legendary bars in this sleepy fishing village. While the view at these destinations can be very nice around this time of year, the crowds, the traffic, and the high DUI potential may push you into other locations. So always be careful when out partying this month.


MENS STYLE

Bye Bye Skinny Jeans! Gone are the gonad crushing, artery clogging skinny jeans. They are replaced by fitted designer denim. Every major manufacturer and design house has started making the move to these tailored looking antique jeans. As a matter of fact denim in general is becoming this seasons major player. Denim jeans, shirts and jackets are all making a strong statement this year. There are so many shades, wear styles and patterns to choose from that in order to keep your selections reasonable, you need to keep the season in perspective. Right now it is better to leave the dark blue jeans in your closet until winter comes again. Go with the lighter more faded blues, light grays and washed out patterns. You can even wear black in the spring and pull it off. Wear and tear have made a comeback, so look for jeans that have a real worn in look and feel to them. In Arizona jeans are not something you generally want to wear in the latter months of spring through the months of summer due to the heat. Spring and summer nights are a different story. If you want to wear them all spring and summer long just be sure to find jeans that are very light in fabric.

THE

NEW

CASUAL LOOK SPRING 2010 BY E . N O R M U S J O H N S O N

So you are going to shake your hot rod out of it’s cold winter slumber and take it out onto the open roads to stretch its legs for a few with the lovely lady of your choice. Or maybe you are more of a bike guy and you and your Harley or Hayabusa are going to hit the winding roads of an alpine pass in our northern portions of the state. Whatever you do, you need to do it in style. While men’s fashions don’t proceed with the same sort of warp speed as women’s fashion, there are a few things worth noting for the upcoming year. Smart casual has made an enormous comeback recently as men across the globe suit up in fitted designer jeans accompanied by a stylish sport jacket and screen printed tee. 28 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

The Tee is Back! Screen printed tees are back more than ever. Screen printed t-shirts and band t-shirts have skyrocketed in popularity in recent years, becoming appropriate attire for teens as well as for adults. Popular retail chains such as Urban Planet, American Eagle, Target, Old Navy, Aeropostale, the many smaller t-shirt companies, and skateboard/surf shops offer a variety of inexpensive screen printed shirts. But choose carefully! you don’t want to send the wrong message with what is on your shirt. Choose a printed tee that makes a statement about you, your favorite band, or your frame of mind. When wearing under a sport jacket or tailored shirt be sure to use high contrasting colors on your t-shirt shirt underneath during evenings.

For the Businessman. For many years there has been a rallying cry from designers calling for the return of the suit, for the return of formal style to men’s fashion. For the last few years youth has dominated the market and mens fashion designers have created clothing more relaxed in both feel and look, trying to stay in touch with that demographic. With the re-emergence of the cocktail hour lifestyle by todays 30 somethings, the new hipsters are embracing the suit in all its glory. There is nothing better than a tailored double breasted suit and a glass of well aged bourbon in the evening. Black and Dark Blue Suits and their respective businesslike patterns still dominate the market, but suits both lighter in color and fabric have brought the proverbial suit to new heights. Now you can not only appear in total control while at the office, but switch out the dress shirt for a more informal t-shirt or the slacks for a pair of tailored jeans and you are ready for the cocktail hour. Every real man needs at least two styles of suit, the double breasted for evenings out with the ladies and a single breasted two or four button suit for more casual jeans and tees kind of nights. The suit truly is the uniform of the well dressed man.


The Classic Aviator Sunglasses

Ray-Ban Silver Classic Mirrored Aviator $183.15

MARCH

Trends

Once assumed to be only the eye wear of choice for Buford T Justice (of Smokey and the Bandit fame), and both the civil and professional aviation industry, Aviator sunglasses have become the sunglasses of choice for Hollywood and the fashionably trendy. Gone are the ridiculous Kanye West shades and the hugely oversized granny sunglasses of Nicole Richie fame, the new move is towards sunglasses that will fit your face with reflective lenses and frames of sinuous metal. There are many to choose but all are comfortable and will frame your face well.

Spring Adventure is Calling YOU! And when nature calls be sure you answer her in style. These accessory trends will brighten any wardrobe you may be sporting. Even if that wardrobe is just a smile, your lover will be impressed that you can be in the buff swinging in the wind and still be fashionable doing it.

Brightly Colored Faces

ToyWatch’s Jelly Watches are available in 110 color combinations. Only $65 dollars? Great! But that’s the just the rubber strap. Depending on which face you choose, the Jelly Watch totals out to either $175 or $275.

Spring brings bright colors, but not just in clothing and advertising, but in your watch face as well. Spending time grinding away at the keyboard and dealing with clients in drab business attire can cause you to just melt away into a puddle of middle management goo. Your best bet is to bring a little color into your life. Why not get a little springtime freedom every time you check your watch. Even if all the guys in your office have dropped a huge chunk of cash on some platinum or golden monstrosity, they will most likely not have a watch with color. A little red, blue, green or even orange face will add a little spice into your otherwise conservative business look. And when you are out enjoying the sun you can have a watch that matches your summer attire.

The Return of the Hat The last couple of years has seen the resurgence of the hat. And while initially everything that could be worn on your head was deemed fashionable, the market has settled down and now we are seeing a more pragmatic approach to fashion chapeau. The men’s hat – particularly the fedora, newsboy, and Kangol caps have become incredibly popular recently. Commonly offered in pinstriped patterns as well as embroidered with various characters such as skulls and script, these hats are once again fashionable and can be worn by men and women from all walks of life. It’s nice to the return of a once widely hailed fashion accessory. It brings a much needed mix of traditional style to the new hip fashion we see today. Mr. Green Hats Custom colors and sizes are available. many of the hats use vintage 1940s tie fabrics Prices vary from around $170 to $260.

PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010| 29


SPRING TRAINING

TH E

R E M M U S F O S Y O B ARE BACK!

Spring Training in Arizona

BY DAX MO NTIL LA

There is something about spring in Arizona. The desert is rich with new life, the cactus begin to flower and the whole desert starts to bloom. Spring in the desert also means the smell of freshly mowed turf, the aroma of hot popcorn and the crack of a bat. This spring has begun with a Crack! as another ball is knocked out of the park and into the well oiled glove of some fresh faced young boy sporting his favorite baseball team on his cap. He sits down on the grass next to his Dad and admires his new trophy. After the game he walks over the bench and has the hitter sign his ball. The Cactus League has begun.

STADIUMS ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS Tucson Electric Park 2500 E. Ajo Way Tucson AZ 85713 (520) 434-1367 CHICAGO CUBS HoHoKam Stadium 1235 N. Center Street Mesa AZ 85201 (480)-964-4467 CHICAGO WHITE SOX Camelback Ranch Park 10710 West Camelback Rd., Glendale, AZ 85037 (623)-302-5000 30 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

Twelve of professional baseball’s finest teams gather every year to steel themselves for the skirmishes in the summer to come. And as they carry out their warm up games in the blues skies, green grass and the mild weather of an Arizona spring, you get a glimpse of what baseball was like in the hey days when huge salaries, performance enhancing drugs, and immense domed stadium ballparks didn’t exist. For just a month, Arizona gravitates to the center of the baseball universe. For 64 years the Cactus League has brought professional baseball to Arizona long before the Diamondbacks ever existed. They have persevered and brought the major league to small cities in the greater valley area. Every large community has a ball-field and a professional team, and you root for your city’s team just as loudly and strongly as you do for your Arizona Diamondbacks during regular season play. Lasting memories are made of what baseball is really about, the game. Over the years we have had intimate ballpark conversations with such legendary figures of baseball as Mickey Mantle, Joe DiMaggio, Willie Mays, Ted Williams and Reggie Jackson while they warmed up or hit a few balls. Oh sure it isn’t regular season baseball, but for a single month, we have our own league

Here are the Twelve Cactus League Teams and the Stadiums their home fields. If you you need any additional information, please visit www.cactusleague.com for up to the date game schedules for each team.

CINCINNATI REDS Goodyear Ballpark 1933 South Ballpark Way, Goodyear, AZ 85338 (623) 882-3120

KANSAS CITY ROYALS Surprise Stadium 15850 North Bullard Surprise AZ 85374 (623)-222-2222

MILWAUKEE BREWERS Maryvale Baseball Park 3600 N. 51st Ave Phoenix AZ 85031 (623)-245-5555

SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS Scottsdale Stadium 7408 E. Osborn Road Scottsdale AZ 85251 (480)-312-2580

CLEVELAND INDIANS Goodyear Ballpark 1933 South Ballpark Way, Goodyear, AZ 85338 (623) 882-3120

ANAHEIM ANGELS Tempe Diablo Stadium 2200 W. Alameda Dr., Tempe AZ 85282 (480)-350-5205

OAKLAND ATHLETICS Phoenix Municipal Stadium 5999 E. Van Buren, Phoenix AZ 85008 (602)-392-0074

SEATTLE MARINERS Peoria Sports Complex 16101 N. 83rd Avenue, Peoria AZ 85382 623-773-8700

COLORADO ROCKIES Hi Corbett Field 3400 E. Camino Campestre Tucson AZ 85716 (520)-327-WINS

LOS ANGELES DODGERS Camelback Ranch Park 10710 West Camelback Rd., Glendale, AZ 85037 (623)-302-5000

SAN DIEGO PADRES Peoria Sports Complex 16101 N. 83rd Avenue, Peoria AZ 85382 623-773-8700

TEXAS RANGERS Surprise Stadium 15850 North Bullard Surprise AZ 85374 (623)-222-2222


of superstars playing ball in a setting unlike any other in the country. If you do head out to enjoy this wonderful weather and the great American pastime, you must go with a few bits of information. First of all, consult the game schedule on the next page, it contains the schedule game times for all twelve teams in the Cactus League. Then find the stadium that your team is playing at which is listed below, and finally, head out and enjoy the game. If you can’t remember to consult the schedule you can rest easy, almost every game will start at 1:05 p.m., so you can just memorize one time and be done. If you have a 9 to 5 kind of job, then you will have to play some serious hooky in order to catch the games, but it’s more than worth it, and the odds are real good that you will probably see your boss there tossing a few back and enjoying the action just like you.

2010 SPRING TRAINING BASEBALL SCHEDULE Courtesy of the Mesa Convention and Visitors Bureau

SUNDAY

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

Tickets will be available through these ticket agencies: • tickets.com 1-800-905-3315 • Ticketmaster 480-784-4444, 1-800-745-3000, or visit: Macy’s, F.Y.E, Fry’s Marketplace or www.ticketmaster.com

3 SF @ SEA - Peoria

Games start at 1:05 pm MST unless otherwise indicated. Dates, times and teams are subject to change. * = Split Squad

4

OAK @ CHI - Mesa SD @ SEA - Peoria MIL @ SF - Scottsdale TEX @ KC - Surprise CWS @ LAA - Tempe COL @ AZ - Tucson

= Night Game

7

CHI*@ CWS - Glendale TEX @ CLE - Goodyear CIN @ MIL - Maryvale LAD @ CHI* - Mesa SD @ SEA - Peoria SF @ KC - Surprise OAK @ LAA - Tempe COL* @ AZ* - Tucson AZ* @ COL* - Tucson

FRIDAY

14

TEX* @ LAD - Glendale CWS @ CIN - Goodyear CLE @ SD- Peoria KC @ OAK - Phoenix MIL @ SF - Scottsdale AZ @ TEX* - Surprise CHI @ LAA - Tempe SEA @ COL - Tucson

21

CLE @ LAD - Glendale CHI @ CIN* - Goodyear CWS @ MIL - Maryvale TEX @ SD - Peoria CIN* @ OAK - Phoenix COL @ KC - Surprise SEA @ LAA- Tempe SF @ AZ - Tucson

28

KC @ CWS - Glendale LAD @ CIN - Goodyear CHI @ SEA- Peoria COL @ OAK - Phoenix SD @ SF - Scottsdale CWS* @ TEX - Surprise CLE @ LAA - Tempe MIL @ AZ - Tucson

8

SEA* @ CWS - Glendale KC @ CIN - Goodyear SEA* @ MIL - Maryvale COL @ SD - Peoria CHI @ OAK - Phoenix LAD @ SF - Scottsdale LAA @ TEX - Surprise CLE @ AZ - Tucson

OAK @ CIN - Goodyear CLE @ MIL - Maryvale LAD @ LAA - Tempe SEA @ AZ - Tucson CHI @ COL - Tucson KC @ CWS - Glendale SF* @ SD - Peoria SF* @ TEX - Surprise

LAA @ LAD* - Glendale COL @ CIN - Goodyear LAD* @ MIL - Maryvale CLE @ CHI - Mesa OAK @ SEA - Peoria TEX @ SF - Scottsdale CWS @ KC - Surprise SD @ AZ - Tucson

15

22

29

SF @ MIL - Maryvale CIN @ CHI - Mesa SEA @ OAK - Phoenix COL @ TEX - Surprise KC @ LAA* - Tempe LAA* @ CWS - Glendale LAD @ CLE - Goodyear AZ @ SD - Peoria

9

COL @ LAD - Glendale AZ @ CIN - Goodyear MIL @ CHI - Mesa CLE @ SEA - Peoria TEX @ OAK* - Phoenix CWS @ SF - Scottsdale OAK* @ KC - Surprise SD @ LAA - Tempe

COL @ CWS - Glendale SF @ CLE - Goodyear TEX @ CHI - Mesa LAA @ SD- Peoria MIL @ KC - Surprise CIN @ AZ - Tucson

SF @ CWS - Glendale MIL @ CLE - Goodyear LAA @ SEA- Peoria CHI @ KC - Surprise SD @ COL - Tucson

SATURDAY

MARCH

16

23

30

OAK @ CWS - Glendale SD @ CIN - Goodyear CHI @ SF -Scottsdale MIL @ LAA - Tempe TEX @ AZ - Tucson LAD @ COL - Tucson CLE @ KC - Surprise

AZ @ LAD - Glendale SD* @ CLE - Goodyear SF @ CHI - Mesa MIL @ SD* - Peoria CWS @ OAK - Phoenix SEA @ TEX - Surprise CIN @ LAA - Tempe KC @ COL - Tucson

10

17

CWS @ LAD - Glendale MIL @ CIN* - Goodyear SF @ OAK - Phoenix SD @ KC - Surprise AZ @ LAA - Tempe CLE* @ COL - Tucson CLE* @ CIN* - Goodyear TEX @ SEA - Peoria

AZ @ CWS - Glendale SF @ CIN - Goodyear CHI @ TEX - Surprise KC @ LAA - Tempe SEA @ SD - Peoria LAD @ OAK - Phoenix

24

31

SF @ LAD - Glendale CWS @ CLE - Goodyear CHI* @ MIL - Maryvale LAA @ CHI* - Mesa KC @ SD - Peoria CIN @ OAK - Phoenix SEA @ TEX - Surprise AZ @ COL - Tucson

11

CLE @ CWS - Glendale LAD* @ CIN - Goodyear OAK @ MIL - Maryvale CHI @ SD- Peoria SEA @ SF - Scottsdale LAD* @ KC - Surprise LAA @ AZ - Tucson TEX @ COL - Tucson

CHI @ LAD - Glendale CIN @ CLE - Goodyear COL @ SEA - Peoria AZ @ OAK - Phoenix MIL @ TEX - Surprise

18

25

MIL @ LAD - Glendale SEA* @ CLE - Goodyear CWS @ SD - Peoria SEA* @ KC - Surprise TEX @ LAA - Tempe CHI @ AZ - Tucson CIN @ COL - Tucson OAK @ SF - Scottsdale

5

LAD @ CWS - Glendale CLE @ CIN - Goodyear AZ @ CHI - Mesa SD @ SEA - Peoria MIL @ OAK - Phoenix COL* @ SF - Scottsdale TEX @ KC - Surprise COL* @ LAA - Tempe

CIN @ LAD - Glendale LAA* @ CLE - Goodyear CHI @ MIL - Maryvale KC @ SEA - Peoria SD @ TEX - Surprise CWS @ LAA*- Tempe OAK @ AZ - Tucson SF @ COL - Tucson

12

19

CHI @ CWS - Glendale LAA @ MIL - Maryvale CLE* @ SF - Scottsdale CLE* @ TEX - Surprise KC @ AZ - Tucson OAK @ COL - Tucson SEA @ CIN - Goodyear LAD @ SD- Peoria

26

KC @ LAD - Glendale COL @ CLE - Goodyear SD @ MIL - Maryvale OAK* @ CHI - Mesa CIN @ SEA - Peoria LAA @ SF - Scottsdale OAK* @ TEX - Surprise CWS @ AZ - Tucson

6

CWS* @ LAD - Glendale CIN @ CLE - Goodyear SF* @ MIL* - Maryvale CWS* @ CHI - Mesa SEA @ SD - Peoria LAA @ OAK - Phoenix AZ @ SF* - Scottsdale KC @ TEX - Surprise MIL* @ COL - Tucson

13

MIL* @ CWS - Glendale TEX @ CLE - Goodyear COL @ MIL* - Maryvale CIN @ CHI - Mesa SF* @ SEA - Peoria SD @ OAK - Phoenix OAK @ SF* - Scottsdale LAA @ KC - Surprise LAD @ AZ - Tucson

20

SD* @ CWS - Glendale OAK* @ CLE - Goodyear KC* @ MIL - Maryvale KC* @ CHI* - Mesa AZ @ SEA - Peoria CHI* @ OAK - Phoenix CIN @ SF - Scottsdale LAD @ TEX - Surprise LAA @ COL - Tucson SD* @ LAD* - Glendale

27

SEA @ LAD - Glendale AZ @ CLE - Goodyear TEX @ MIL - Maryvale SD* @ CHI - Mesa CIN @ SD*- Peoria OAK @ KC - Surprise SF @ LAA - Tempe CWS @ COL - Tucson

APRIL 1

AZ* @ KC - Surprise - Noon CLE @ LAA - Tempe - Noon SD @ LAD - Glendale TEX @ CIN - Goodyear AZ* @ MIL - Maryvale COL - CHI - Mesa CWS @ SEA - Peoria

2

CIN @ CLE - Goodyear CHI @ AZ - Chase Field

3

CLE @ CIN - Goodyear CHI @ AZ - Chase Field

AZ - Arizona Diamondbacks • CHI - Chicago Cubs • CIN - Cincinnati Reds • CLE - Cleveland Indians • COL - Colorado Rockies • CWS - Chicago White Sox KC - Kansas City Royals • LAA - Angels Baseball • LAD - Los Angeles Dodgers • MIL - Milwaukee Brewers • OAK - Oakland A’s • SD - San Diego Padres SEA - Seattle Mariners • SF - San Francisco Giants • TEX - Texas Rangers


WOMEN’S STYLE

SPRING

Fashions

2010

There is nothing better than spending a warm spring day traveling the back roads of Arizona’s more scenic locales. If you are going to drive around this state with the top down and the wind in your hair, then you need to do it in style. The colors this spring are bright as usual, always scaring away the muted tones of winter, with unique floral and multi color pop art patterns that dominate the landscape. This spring brings us fashion both new and old. However the old is now updated and fresh bringing with it the lines of a new tailored look or a shorter hem line.

BY ANITA MAND A PAY

OLD IS NEW AGAIN! Hot Pants and Boy Shorts

With the rising popularity of lingerie as outerwear, it should come as no surprise that the ever sexy boy shorts would get shorter. And I mean WAY shorter. Hem lines continue to become shorter as time marches on, but this spring season may be the first season where they can be predominantly measured in negative figures. Hitting the gym will take on new meaning as these newer styles may start to reveal new, um, assets you never thought you had.

Knee high Socks Are Back!

This season thigh high boots are rapidly becoming a fashion must have. But you can’t step out in those stylish boots without your socks. And this spring, more than ever, the knee high and thigh high socks have come into their own as a fashion staple. There’ll be several styles of socks popular in 2010,best of all, they can be worn all year long and will be perfect alongside a number of other spring and upcoming winter fashion trends and accessories.

Spring Colors It looks as though we’re in for a very green-based season this spring with a wide variety of the hue spread throughout the fashion universe. Spring typically brings brighter color palettes but more prevalent this year are pinks, blues, browns and even a neon green, which must be used sparingly. This season’s fashions generally play on similar set of hues, featuring mostly light & bright summery colours which try to capture a younger and a more up beat tone. While we may see some of these bright colors on individual clothing styles it’s more likely we will see the brighter colors in the spectrum used more on elaborate prints, embellishments, and embroideries. This spring, the style evokes a more romantic age and gives a nod to the Pop Art of the sixties and seventies.

32 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

WHAT IS NEW? Future Warrior Woman

A new military look brings ancient civilizations and their warriors to life for this 2010 fashion trend. Military fashion has been big for some time now, but it’s evolving. The new tribal look and the military look have started to meld in the minds of cutting edge designers. These new looks are wilder, and more fierce.

Boyfriend Blazer

While the “boyfriend jeans” and the “boyfriend shirt” have now become so commonplace that they aren’t even considered a trend anymore, the Boyfriend Blazer has found new sophistication and will be with us as a part of this years fashions. In particular, during the spring season, you will see this look paired with almost every style and dress out there. It’s rapidly becoming a must have staple for any fashionista’s closet.

Sports Wear

Sportswear becomes streetwear in Spring 2010 - in all its sexy, svelte, and effortless glory. This new interpretation is being led by designers such as Alexander Wang. His inimitable cool factor puts him at the forefront of this trend. Styles such as his means we’ll all be looking to sports such as football, baseball, hockey, tennis, scuba-diving, and dance for an injection of youthful tomboy cool into our wardrobes this Spring.


WOMEN’S

Trends

Spring in Arizona means light and airy fashion, travel, and bright colors. This month we are featuring fashion you can get out and move to. However just because you are out traveling around this great state of ours doesn’t mean you must go out unadorned, be sure to step out in the warm Arizona sun and even cooler nights with these must have accessories. B Y ANI A N I TA MAND M A N D APAY A PAY

Go Roman Goddess!

Gold cuffs are this season’s hottest accessory. They not only match well with the brighter colors of spring they also pair well with neutral and more subdues tones. Forever 21 • www.forever21.com A tapered polished metal cuff with an inverted faceted surface. The perfect night out accessory!

I need a Man Size Watch!

Mens watches aren’t just for the boys club anymore. More and more of today’s hottest fashionistas are sporting gold boyfriend watches such as this one from Juicy Couture. Roman numerals mark hours on the crystal-encrusted, mother-of-pearl face of this boyfriend-inspired watch with a stainless steel band. Juicy Couture • www.juicycouture.com Gold-plated stainless steel/mother-of-pearl/ Swarovski crystals. Water-resistant to 3 ATM

Iʼm Bedazzled!

It seems everyone is blinging everything out this spring. But unique embellishments don’t just end at the tops, they can be used on sandals as well, like these Bliz Sandals from Steve Madden. Steve Madden • SteveMadden.com Bliz Sandals

(30 meters).

The Comeback

Spring of 2009 brought us brightly colored floral and multipatterned scarves that could be worn with almost anything. Well they’re back and bolder than ever! Especially with some of this spring’s more neutral and airy runway fashions. Old Navy • OldNavy.com floral water color scarf

Garden Variety

A bold ring will do wonders for any outfit. Big beautiful floral rings are all the rage. However don’t limit yourself just to floral designs, there are many different styles to suit your unique taste and color palate. Juicy Couture • www.neimanmarcus.com Resin Rose Adjustable Ring, Red Golden metal band. Sculpted red resin rose with clear rhinestone detail.

34 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

Slim and Simple

The Shoulder Bag, a much loved accessory from the 80’s, is back. No more big bulky bags or huge satchels, this spring be seen wearing a light airy over the shoulder bag. Arden B • ArdenB.com Faux leather messenger bag features flapover front with stud detail and snap and zipper closure. Long adjustable cross over body strap. Interior includes three multi-purpose pockets, one features zip closure.


BENITO DAVEED PHY BY A R G ENEZ O IM T PHO ERIC J KEUP BY A M & IR HA


MUSIC

SOUNDS OF THE UNDERGROUND

Polliwog Who ever said rock and roll had to be so goddamn serious, anyway? Far too many musicians today make their artistic endeavors seem immensely more epic than they actually are, in turn alienating the masses of already heavily desensitized and skeptical electronic consumers out there. Positive, unpretentious vibes were commonplace almost two decades ago near the Arizona State University campus in Tempe as the upbeat “Mill Avenue sound” rose to national acclaim in the post Nirvana, mid 90’s era behind great alternarock locals like the Gin Blossoms and the Refeshments. That sometimes cynical, yet always fun loving viewpoint permeates the terrific tunes courtesy of recently reformed east Valley rockers Polliwog, renowned in years past for their eclectic combination of ska, alternative and soulful funk. Unlike the pretension purveyed by all the so called serious bands out there, it’s a real testament to a group of musicians who are so infectiously fun. To hell with such pretension! Taking a cue from female fronted 90s bands like The Breeders, the members of Polliwog came together in 1994 with a basis very deep rooted in punk and funk sensibilities, but proceeded to incorporate a whole host of different influences into their canon; including bringing polar opposites like big band, noise rock and even trip hop together seamlessly. Assembling various pieces from the ashes of former bands in the Tempe scene at the time was definitely an impressive juggling act in and of itself, most notably due to the sheer number of bandmates involved just to bring such a sound to fruition. One of the most important parts was the voice of Tiffany Sullivan, who is responsible for holding down the swagger quotient along with some very sultry vocal duties, while guitarist Travis Brinster, Electronics and Percussionist Diamond Dan Williams, Bassist R J Hoffman and drummer Michael Swenson provide their voices as worthy back ups or for tasteful interplay upon occasion.

44 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

Return In A More Evolved Form BY JAIME’ EN FUEGO

Yet that’s still not even touching the tip of the dwarfing iceberg of collaborators, including a diverse horn section of Don Ekes (Trombone), Greg Liko (Alto Sax), Paul Folkert (Tenor & Soprano Sax), Jaxxon Longley (Trumpet), and “Catfish” Ogden (Trumpet), all responsible for so many of the nuances that are crucial to the group’s soundscape, and a rotating cast that would take far too long to mention. Despite recording an excitement inducing debut album oddly entitled More Soul Than A Rabbit Factory, referring to a wacktastic musical description made by local blues guitar legend Chico Chism during the 1995 Payson Blues Festival, at the Grammy nominated Phase Four Studios in Tempe, the band retreated from the local spotlight until that all too familiar itch that every true player experiences after years away emerged, compelling the band to recently reform. Older, but more serious, focused and unfazed by debaucherous distractors, Polliwog are now reminding those still around to remember just how talented and relevant they still are, and at the same time turning new generations on to their savvy musical stylings.

Feel the evolution of rhythm when Polliwog will be climbing onto dry land at Tempe’s own The Sail Inn for the Reunion Weekend Recital on March 5 at 8:00pm.


PATIO ENTERTAINMENT

EXILED SMOKERS REJOICE!

Patio Dining Season

Is Upon Us B Y T H E M I S TA K E N G E N I U S

Smokers get a pretty bad rap in this day and age. As if death threats and being broke from ever rising, government propelled cigarette taxes aren’t bad enough, as comedian Dave Chappelle perfectly put it a years ago: “Ten dollars a pack, those are CRACK prices!,” they are also generally shunned or needlessly looked down upon in public settings where they once were a staple, like clubs and restaurants. Until just a few decades ago this type of treatment would have seemed silly, but during our wondrous winters in Arizona those exiled to the patios of these places will be having the last laugh, enjoying the fantastic outdoor weather that causes throngs of snow birds to migrate here each year. While East Coasters are freezing their collective, heavily clothed butts off, the desert mirage springs to life in Phoenix with highs in the 70s through the month of March, compelling numerous diners to defect to the outside. Savvy valley business owners are well aware of this trend and use it to their advantage by featuring some seriously killer outdoor eating options that run the gamut from laid back and casual to posh and reservation ready.

If simple but well ahead of the taste curve is your intent few places solidly satisfy better than local celebrity chef Chris Bianco’s to-go sandwich shop Pane Bianco next to the light rail stop on Central and Campbell Avenues. Already renowned across the country for his New York Times featured downtown Phoenix pizzeria, which can often take hours just to get a table at, this second food venture exists as a streamlined and quick counterpart, without forsaking a bit of the quality. Your best bets for taste bud bliss are the housemade mozzarella, locally grown tomato and basil salad or the soppressata, aged provolone and roasted red peppers sandwich on fresh baked bread. There’s no seating inside, just a perfectly shaded array of tables out front shared with the neighboring coffee bar. More variety is on hand at longtime Phoenix favorite Duck and Decanter, who have done delectable sandwiches like the “Duckling” with watercress, cream cheese and cranberry walnut relish since 1973, but besides the deli also serves as a store for exotic cheeses, gift baskets and beverages, including a wide selection of tea, coffee, wine and beer. The 16th street and Camelback location is especially popular in the day drinker crowd for its liquor license allowing customers to enjoy their spirituous bottled purchases right on the premises’ spacious patio, shaded by a few aging trees the tables surround. More flair and actual table service are brought into the equation at Oregano’s Pizza Bistro, a cool valley chain with enormous portioning and a wacky, retro vibe. Their spacious outdoor dining area is 46 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

perfect for digging into one of their monstrous calzones that they boast feeds 4-5 people, the Jaime’ En Fuego approved “Wings of Fire” that are taste bud murdering hot enough to give the almighty Long Wongs a run for their money, or the amusingly named “Alfredo The Dark,” kicked up a notch by diced poblano chilies. And with eight different valley locations, including 10th street and Camelback and Old Town Scottsdale, there’s no excuse not to taste a different take on italian. For an even wilder eating excursion you can never go wrong with 70 year old Arizona chain Macayo’s Mexican Kitchen’s Depot Cantina in Tempe on Ash Avenue, about a mile from the Arizona State University campus. Their outdoor patio has a slew of great daily happy hour specials and a stage for live music, along with a notoriety for hosting some of the wildest Cinco de Mayo shindigs in town. A few of their most delicious sonoran style mexican creations are “Verde Shrimp Enchiladas” with sautéed onions/chilies, bubbling jack cheese and savory tomatillo sauce and the “Baja Chicken Quesadilla” grilled with mushrooms, red/green peppers and spicy baja cheese sauce. Deliciousness not to be missed! Ambiance and class are two things in sheer display from the awe-inspiring vibe attained eating on the famous Wrigley Mansion’s patio overlooking the bright lights of our sprawling metropolis. Seated just above the Arizona Biltmore Resort near 24th Street and Camelback Road, the mansion’s inhouse restaurant Geordie’s takes reservations long in advance for their extravagant Sunday brunch including omelet and french toast stations, baby lamb chops with mint jelly, seafood pasta in lobster sauce, and a host of other tantalizing house specialties. There’s also a novel concept with their lunch menu, allowing patrons to pay whatever they think is FAIR for the meal they ordered. No set prices are printed anywhere, surprisingly, though it does make one wonder how far the concept could be stretched. Should that be going just a bit overboard in extravagance, the New Orleans inspired seafood kitchen Pappadeux, just past Peoria Avenue on the Black Canyon Freeway, eases things back just enough with an atmosphere that’s classy, but not to the point of holding your tongue. The bar and patio area has one of the best seafood happy hours in Phoenix featuring cheap prices on oysters marinos topped with BBQ butter and fresh pico de gallo, tandori seared salmon sticks in a pineapple glaze, and most importantly for many, Grey Goose martinis. With all of these reasons, there’ no excuse not to make the effort to sit outside those stuffy restaurant that are always either too hot or too cold, anyway, while never taking such lovely weather for granted. We’ll surely be sweating our butts off before we know it.

Oregano’s Patio

Chillin at Macayos

Pappadeux Patio

Pane Bianco Style

Outside at Duck and Decanter The Wrigley Mansion


MUSIC

Americans aren’t always as ahead of the curve as they would wish to believe. Being responsible for many of the most pivotal movements in relevant popular music during the last century would certainly instill a heavy dose of doleful arrogance into a great deal of your average aspiring artists, most notably if your country’s contributions were the very blues and jazz music that inspired rock and roll, hip hop and all of their rampant respective offshoots.

MUSE The Masterful Music Of

Finally Inspires America BY S U AV O S V E N

However, this does not completely exonerate obvious keen judges from letting legitimately revelatory material like that from symphonic English rockers MUSE slip right through their fingers. This was the very dire dilemma which the group was forced to endure upon the completion of their heavily ambitious 1999 debut full length Showbiz, a reference to the pressure they felt to transcend the meager and modest surroundings where MUSE originated by achieving deserving fame and acclaim. That record performed surprisingly well for an independent release in the UK, crawling as high as number 29 on the UK Albums Chart, but beyond turning a few heads with their hypnotic single “Muscle Museum,” the United States paid little attention, merely unfairly dubbing them as a heavier, dumber version of overhyped cynicists Radiohead. When American distributor Maverick Records feared that the increasingly falsetto and effects laden vocal leanings courtesy of lead singer Matthew Bellamy on the group’s second album The Origin Of Symmetry would affect commercial radio airplay potential, MUSE suffered a rather heavy blow when they lost their US distribution deal upon deciding not to cave in to the meddling demands of the men signing the checks. Yet reclamation of dignity began almost immediately when glowing critical reviews for that passed over second record’s orchestral levels of envelope pushing creativity began to pour in from all over Europe, helping to pave the way for a new US deal when 2003’s Absolution debuted at number 1 in the UK and the following year finally cracked the consciousness across the Atlantic with yearning singles “Time Is Running Out” and “Hysteria” Bloated corporate giant Warner Brothers gobbling up MUSE soon after gave songwriter, guitarist and pianist Bellamy, along with bassist Chris Wolstenholme and percussionist Dominic Howard the mountains of money necessary to pursue their most elaborate musical musings on 2006’s Black Holes And Revelations, trading some of the previous effort’s rich ferocity and bare emotion for soundtracks to sci-fi western gunfights on the Guitar Hero III featured “Knights Of Cydonia” and a Prince piloted trip through a galactic portal of funk on “Supermassive Black Hole.” Already damned enormous all across Europe, MUSE soon saw their notoriety come full circle with a stunning sold out performance in New York City’s famous Madison Square Garden on the US leg of their 2007 tour. The group took the last piece of power away from their superiors by producing their latest effort, 2009’s The Resistance, completely by themselves at a home built studio, and took their music in an even more epic and operatic direction then ever by closing the album with a three movement symphony entitled “Exogenesis” which spearheads the radical and psychedelic themes on display throughout. It went on to top the charts in 19 countries and even charted at number 3 in the United States. A brilliant, colorful gateway revealed on the album’s cover is reminiscent of the doors to an audience that finally opened for MUSE. There’s no doubt it was certainly worth the wait.

MUSE will be inciting excitement across the Valley of the Sun with a 7pm performance at US Airways Center on April 9, 2010.

48 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010


MARCH 2010

HOT SPOTS CONCERTS • THEATER • FESTIVALS

CONCERTS & EVENTS February 17 - March 14 The Light in the Piazza Phoenix Theatre, Phoenix

February 18 - April 3

Guys and Dolls Hale Centre Theatre, Gilbert

February 25 - April 10

George M, Yankee Doodle Dandy Broadway Palm Dinner Theatre

February 26 - April 11

Cats Arizona Broadway Theatre, Peoria

March 3

Zac Brown Band Dodge Theatre, Phoenix

March 5 - 21

March 11

Steve Tyrell Mesa Arts Center, Mesa

March 11

Chelsea Handler: Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang Tour Dodge Theatre, Phoenix

March 12 - March 28

Johnny Guitar Peoria Center for the Performing Arts, Peoria

March 12

Steve Tyrell Del E. Webb Center for the Performing Arts, Wickenburg

March 13, 14

A Night of Music and Comedy with Martin Short Scottsdale Center for the Performing Arts, Scottsdale

Actors Theatre presents Secret Order Herberger Theatre Center, Phoenix

Three Irish Sopranos Mesa Arts Center, Mesa

March 6, 7

March 19 - April 4

March 14

Capitol Steps Del E. Webb Center for the Performing Arts, Wickenburg

Sweet Charity Tempe Center for the Arts, Tempe

March 6

Joe Bonamassa Orpheum Theatre, Phoenix

Harlem Globetrotters US Airways Center, Phoenix

March 9 - 14

Avenue Q ASU Gammage, Tempe

March 10 - 14

Now That She’s Gone Chandler Center for the Arts, Chandler

March 19

March 20

Ballet Folklorico de Mexico de Amalia Hernandez Mesa Arts Center, Mesa

March 23 - 28

Tony & Tina’s Wedding Chandler Center for the Arts, Chandler

March 23 - April 3 Around the World in a Bad Mood Mesa Arts Center, Mesa

March 23

Ray Davies Dodge Theatre, Phoenix

March 24, 25

3 Redneck Tenors “Broadway Bound” Del E. Webb Center for the Performing Arts, Wickenburg

March 25 - April 11

The Glass Menagerie Herberger Theatre Center, Phoenix

March 26 - 28

Ballet Arizona presents Classic Innovations Orpheum Theatre, Phoenix

March 26

Dragon Gate USA: Open The Ultimate Gate Celebrity Theatre, Phoenix

March 27

Dragon Gate USA: Mercury Rising Celebrity Theatre, Phoenix

March 27

2010 WWE Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony Dodge Theatre, Phoenix

March 29

WWE Monday Night RAW US Airways Center, Phoenix

FESTIVALS January 14 - March 28

Scottsdale. See designers, painters, sketchers and sculptors at work. Demonstrations and workshops, fine wines and cuisine.

February 6 - March 28

Arizona Renaissance Festival Apache Junction. Each year you can enjoy music, theater, comedy, food and drink, crafts, games and knights jousting at the Arizona Renaissance Festival.

February 13 – March 13

Exotic Erotic Art Show The Exotic Art Show features outlandish and erotic art, music, and poetry by over 60 artists at the Alwun House in downtown Phoenix.

March 7 - 8

Great Arizona Beer Festival Two-day festival features live entertainment and beverage sampling. Features over 100 breweries from all over the West Coast including the local Phoenix area. Tempe Town Lake.

March 7 - 8

Art Detour A free, 2-day, self-guided tour of artist studios, art spaces and other art venues in downtown Phoenix.

March 27 - 28

Arizona Game and Fish Expo Activities, demonstrations and exhibits in the areas of hunting, fishing, recreational shooting, archery, off-highway vehicle (OHV) and watercraft recreation, conservation and wildlife education, camping and other outdoor elements.

March 5 - 7

Carefree Fine Arts and Wine Festival Arts, crafts, entertainment, wine. Over 160 artists will have displays. This is Arizona’s largest wine tasting event, featuring wines from Arizona, California, Australia, Germany, Austria, France and Italy. Sponsored by Thunderbird Artists.

Arizona Fine Art Expo A 10 week event in north

PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010| 49


PLACES TO PLAY

BABEʼS

THE REVAMPED

CABARET Brings A New Level Of Sexual

Sophistication To Scottsdale BY JAY PIZZLE

Life is far too short not to live it to the fullest! And here at Playtime magazine, that’s much more than just our motto, it’s what being alive is all about. No one on this planet should be content holding on to a laundry list of regrets when that bony bastard with the sickle comes creeping up on us. This means never denying ourselves the important experience of invigorating food, sex and art, all of which are essential for a joyous mind, body and soul. If more individuals remembered not to overwhelm themselves and take adequate personal time the world would probably be a more peaceful place.

With this sort of visceral experience in mind, new super-operators Erik Dreis and Terry Furian at BABE’S CABARET have brought an incredible revitalization to the alluring atmosphere and breathtaking bodies on display in less than two months since taking over the “formerly great” Scottsdale spot. That term is used loosely because one thing that Erik and Terry are far from shy about is how the club had really dropped the ball on customer service and satisfaction over the last few years, which is precisely why these seasoned veterans were recruited from world renowned party destination Miami’s adult and night life scene to make certain that “no bullshit goes by!” These party professionals stay true to their word with 60% new staff across the board, fresh high-end lighting and sound systems, but obviously most importantly, hand-picked, A-List ladies, both local and national, including professional performers from Vivid and Pleasure. If whalewatching is your deal, you might be a tad disappointed by these flawless foxes.

Now everyone knows in business location is often everything, and for BABE’S CABARET this has always proven to be one of the establishment’s mightiest strengths. The foremost north club of its kind is nestled on the notoriously glitzy Scottsdale Road, between Thomas and McDowell Roads, positioning it directly on the borderline of two of the Metro Phoenix area’s most well known nationwide destinations to party down, Old Town Scottsdale and Arizona State University. Old Town, just a few miles up the street from BABE’S, is home to high class, high society with some of the ritziest and most exclusive restaurants and night clubs in the entire state. In contrast, ASU has been constantly in conversations for Playboy magazine’s annual list of the nation’s top party schools, snagging the award’s top spot numerous times. This bestows BABE’S with the best of both worlds in the patrons and performers in a high energy area, with lovely ladies ranging from cute college coeds to sexy Scottsdale club hoppers and desperate housewives. Friday and Saturday night valet service make certain this type of

50 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010


high-class crowd is constantly in abundance, especially with the club’ celebrating its Silver 25th Anniversary, March 16-20. Another spring bonus at BABE’S CABARET comes along with the month of March as it brings more than just gorgeous weather, but also Major League Baseball’s Cactus League; where 15 different professional teams including big names like the Los Angeles Dodgers and Chicago Cubs lure their teams, and legions of their fans, for some preseason fun in the sun far away from the cold temperatures still tormenting much of the country. And with Scottsdale Stadium just a few minutes away from BABE’S, and two other stadiums holding games close by in the East Valley, it’s easy to see why the local press has dubbed Babe’s the “The Best Place To Spot Spring Training Players Off The Field.” Just don’t let their wives find out, although the photos would surely end up online eventually anyway. A-Rod, can’t help but look in your direction, man! Oh wait, he’s stuck in Erik and Terry’s former stomping grounds of Florida instead with the competing Grapefruit League. Honestly, if he knew what was good for him he’d still make the trip out to see the desert delights at BABE’S CABARET, or at least attempt to convince the Yanks to change pre-April locales. Make your plans in advance to enjoy BABE’S free daily lunch, featuring a high-quality rotating menu, and delicious ladies as dessert before taking in an afternoon game with your favorite team at the ballpark.

Now that you’ve been bombarded with an enormous amount of reasons to check out the New BABE’S CABARET there really is no excuse not to see for yourself the quick and impressive identity revamp that has gone down with men who really know what they’re doing at the helm. And if a prior experience soured your impression of the place, give them another opportunity to win you back. Go on, indulge yourself! Kick back, relax and enjoy an awe inspiring night out at with the sultry beauties at BABE’S. Disappointment is not an option.

Babe’s Cabaret, located at 2011 N. Scottsdale Road just south of Thomas Road, is open daily from 11am to 2am. For a list of daily drink specials, including the absolute cheapest bottle prices in town, and additional information on bachelor parties and premium VIP packages call (480) 947-9909 or visit their website at www.babescabaret.com.


BEING SCENE C L U B , P A R T Y , E V E N T , & C O N C E R T

BEING SCENE

CHEETAH’S CABARET WET T-SHIRT CONTEST

P H O T O S

4125 N. 7th St. 602.265.TITS[8487]


BEING SCENE

BABY DOLLS

3522 NW. Grand

602.336.977

MASQUERADE BALL


BEING SCENE

SHOTGUN BETTY’S GRAND OPENING CELEBRATION 7330 Stetson Drive Scottsdale, AZ


BEING SCENE

SHOTGUN BETTY’S

GRAND OPENING CELEBRATION 7330 Stetson Drive Scottsdale, AZ

C L U B , P A R T Y , E V E N T , & C O N C E R T

P H O T O S


SEX HEALTH

OF PLEASURE POWER MANIFESTING YOUR DESIRES WITH SEX MAGICK by Dr. Susan May

THE Part 1 of 4

My friend Eve (not her real name) loves to tell the story of how she used orgasm to become a millionaire. A spiritual seeker with a passion for Paganism, Eve became a student of sex magick, the practice of focusing sexual energy to manifest change in the material world. After reading several books on the subject, she decided to apply the principles to winning the lottery. She chose 6 numbers and played them weekly. Each time she self-pleasured or made love, she visualized herself winning, releasing the image at the moment of climax. She repeated the process for 9 months, until all 6 numbers hit and she won $1.25 million, at approximately 1:7,000,000 odds.

Coincidence? You be the judge. Don’t accept anything on faith, without seeking validation through personal experience. My intent for this 4-part series is to present a brief overview of sex magick theory and practice, and provide resources if you’d like to explore your own sex magick rituals. I was inspired to write about sex magick after attending a talk by Donald Michael Kraig, author of Modern Sex Magick, Secrets of Erotic Spirituality, at a recent PantheaCon (the largest Pagan conference in the US). Much of the information in this article comes from his book, which culminates years of intensive research and personal practice. If you’re wondering why I’m presenting this highly esoteric information in a mainstream sexual health column, it’s because, as a sexologist and sex researcher, I’m passionately curious about all forms of human sexual expression, and the many ways people use sex to expand their personal horizons and lead deeper, fuller, more satisfying lives. I reckon that, since bestsellers like The Secret have made the Law of Attraction a garden-variety buzzword, sex magick isn’t much of a conceptual stretch, and sounds far more pleasurable than simple visualization! Sex magick has been practiced for millennia, by numerous ancient cultures, including Middle Eastern Sufis, Hindu and Buddhist Tantrics, Hebrew Kabalists, ancient Egyptians and Pagan sects, including Druidism, Wicca and Shamanism. Western sex magick originated in the 12th Century C.E., passed down from Kabalistic Jews to the Knights Templar and the Freemasons, evolving into modern-day systems in the 19th and 20th Centuries through the work of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and occultist Aleister Crowley. Sex magick is based on the spiritual premise that divinity has a both a male (God) and female (Goddess) polarity, and creation occurs in the divine union of these masculine and feminine energies. Sex magick involves ritualistically aligning with these creative forces, either symbolically or physically, through intercourse or orgasm, to open a direct conduit between heaven and earth and precipitate change on the physical plane. By marrying will with orgasm, the practitioner theoretically summons the power to manifest wishes and heart’s desires in the physical world, 64 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

including health, wealth, success, relationships or spiritual evolution.

I’m not an expert on sex magick, but rather a seeker and student, inviting you to join me on a journey to discover how the power of sexual pleasure and orgasm may be harnessed to create a bridge between desire (heaven) and physical reality (earth), if indeed this is possible. My friend Eve swears it its, and her bank account seems to bear witness. Meanwhile, I’m keeping an open mind. Dr. Susan May is a Clinical Sexologist and Personal Coach with a private practice in Phoenix. For session information, check out <http://www.intimacyinsights.com/>www.intimacyinsights.com, phone 602-625-8538 or email Susan at <mailto:intimacyinsights@aol. com>intimacyinsights@aol.com.


Sinful XXXHardcore Films

CINEMA

PRESENTS

Joanna Angel & James Deen’s

EUROPEAN VACATION STUDIO: BURNING ANGEL ENTERTAINMENT DIRECTORS : JOANNA ANGEL & JAMES DEEN RUNTIME: 3hrs 17min BY E. NORMUS JOHNSON

Have you ever been on a private vacation with your lady of choice and you decide to make one of those crazy sex tapes all of the hottest wannabes in Hollywood are doing? Then the tape inevitably gets lost and one day you are at your friendly neighborhood porn store and BAM! There you are making that embarrassing oh face and your girl is working you like a jockey works a horse. Now imagine if you actually had the horse size cock like James Deen and your hot jockey is the punk rock hottie Joanna Angel. It would be Joanna Angel and James Deen’s European Vacation. The entire movie is shot like an amateur vacation movie, lots of camera on the tripod/table type stuff and POV style shooting. There is no camera crew, no director, just a couple of young people on vacation, having lots of kinky sex. The first two scenes are shot in the beautiful French countryside and a mix of POV and third person shooting. Joanna takes James into a pastoral public park for a little frolic and fornication. The scene feels very voyeuristic as you watch. Joanna gets real intimate with James Deen’s cock. After a big finish in Joanna’s ever welcoming mouth, our two intrepid explorers discover that they have lost all their money and passports and must find a way to make it back home. Joanna quickly decides to sell her man’s extremely large cock to anyone who has the Francs. He reluctantly agrees (yeah right) and begins with another hot outside romp with the nubile young Holly D. After washing the dirty off, James isn’t even out of the bathroom before being thanked profusely by a happy and ever welcoming Joanna. Joanna decides to have company over and is joined by the sexy Skin and the toe headed Lucky Fortune, who promptly begin to suck and fuck one another to joyful ecstasy. The orgasms come in multiples with these two 66 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

vixens and every one of them looks to be real. Later, Mr. Deen is greeted with yet another customer. It looks like Holly D has returned, and she brought her boy toy with her. After taking care of the payment, Joanna leaves the girl to her toys. The scene is shot in POV as the boys take turns flipping Holly around like a 50 cent piece. After she is happily exhausted and the boys happily drained, Joanna decides to take Deen to a club. There Joanna meets a French benefactor and they all become friends. The next scene I can only equate to one of the most genuine orgasms I have seen on film. Joanna and Cecilia Vega go from heavy petting to straight up molestation as these two ladies suck and rub each other to orgasm. And judging from the quivering thighs and dripping snatches I venture them to be refreshingly genuine. These ladies had already reached their climax by the time the gentlemen even get involved. James Deen and the French benefactor, both hugely well gifted begin to bring these ladies to the brink and back. Every hole is filled and every muscle exhausted. European Vacation is a wonderfully voyeuristic romp. It really makes you feel as if you just picked up someone’s secret sexual vacation tape. The rock music in the cut scenes is actually quite good and gives a hard rock feel to the movie. As a matter of fact, the one unifying theme throughout the movie is that it has that trademark Joanna Angel rocker girl feel in that all the girls are very natural, very pierced, very tattooed and definitely very punk. It’s that natural feel that gives the movie its authenticity. The girls don’t look like they are acting, and every orgasm truly looks real. After Cecilia Vega made Joanna Angel cum, there seemed to be some serious crushing going on between those two. This movie was a refreshing change from your average gonzo porn. This was a very well made production considering the small studio. Definitely a 4 tissue experience.


, E V O L E K A M LET’S OK! BUT FIRST….. SEX & SPIRITUALITY

HIM

HER

SEX & SPIRITUALITY

B Y I N A “ L A U G H I N G W I N D S ” M L E K U S H M . A . M . F. C . C . S E X C O U N S E L O R A . A . S.E.C.T. CER TIFIED

Men have you ever whispered into your lover’s ear, let’s make love and she purrs back, OK. So you trot off to the bedroom drop your cloths and climb into bed, thinking she is directly behind you. You have a gorgeous hard erection which you begin stroking in expectation that it will be her hand touching you in moments. And you wait, wondering where is she? What is she doing? What’s taking her so long? You begin to lose your erection. You begin to get frustrated. You question yourself. Did she say yes or was I imagining it? No, you are sure she said, “Yes”. You hear her in the kitchen or the laundry room. She is getting closer to the master bedroom. But there is another stop along the way or the phone rings, and she picks it up. Why did she answer the phone? You are waiting to make love to her for God’s sake. She always says, “After all, it may be one of the kids, or my mother, or best friend.” They are all important to her. (Caller ID helps prevent this distraction). You have totally lost your erection now and are ready to get up and go back to the garage or your office when she finally walks in and smiles at you. Not is all lost but now you are a little ticked off and she can feel it. This is not going good. She does not understand why you are upset. She said yes, she is in the bedroom. She does not have a clue that it took her 20 minutes to get there and you have been waiting this whole time.

What we are dealing with here is Basic Instinctual Differences! Lesson 101: Women and men have different timing called maturational development differences Lesson 102: Women do multi tasking and men have single focus. That is how we are hard wired. There is nothing wrong with it. Women are always thinking about and doing 10 things at once IF they are in their FEMININE. This is a very important point. Most women who work outside of the home and they are thrown into their masculine identities in order to compete in the dog eat dog world of career. They may look like a woman but they are running masculine energy. They do not know this on a conscious level nor does their husband. What begins to happen is dissonance and bickering in the relationship! You are unhappy and your sexual needs are not being met. Men tend to move into their feminine when women are in their masculine, as a survival mechanism. Back to the bedroom scene: as she is walking from the point of engagement, saying YES to the love making location, everything that needs to get done, could get done or is slightly out of place SCREAMS, not whispers at her, to fix it now, do it now, adjust it now. She tells herself, “I must do these things.” Men, please do not feel hurt because when a woman makes love, her mind is going in a least 5 different directions. She should have put the wet clothes in the dryer so they would be dry by the time you were done making love. She will not have time to put them away if she does not do this now! As she is kissing you and snuggling your cock, her mind is harassing her. She should have started the dishwasher! Oh she forgot to call about canceling the dental appointment. Now she has to try and remember that mid intercourse. Women wonder why they have a difficult time having an orgasm? This is a big reason. They must give their mind something erotic to focus on. As a man you may be wondering, “I have no problems keeping my mind on sex, on how beautiful she is, the feel of her hands on my body is all I need.” That is correct because men are single focus for a reason. You have to keep your eye on the saber tooth tiger so it does not eat you. If you do not bring home the deer or water buffalo, your family will starve. You must not get distracted with how pretty the flowers are today as we women do. 68 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

Two Solutions:

One, when she says OK to love making, wrap your arm around her waist and gently walk her through the mine-field of your living room up to your bedroom. Do not let go of her no matter what! Take her by the hand talk words of gratitude for all she does, how beautiful she is. If she is listening to you she will not be listening to the pillows that are out of place on the couch, Screaming at her. Two, if you continue with love talk during your foreplay and intercourse she will be more present, more passionate and give you more attention in bed. Why? It is not because what you are saying is turning her on, sorry. (Some women may enjoy erotic talk more then others). It is because she is listening to you and not her internal dialogue berating her for not doing more before making love.

INA “ LAUGHING WINDS” MLEKUSH Marriage Counselor, Sex Counselor; A.A.S.E.C.T. Certified. Amer. Assoc. of Sexual Educators, Counselors and Therapist. Private Practice working with Individuals and Couples dealing with traditional marriages and alternative life styles. Learn the Art of Sacred Sexuality. Couples and Individuals Welcome. See Ina’s videos on YouTube Search for SexualSolutions. CALL Office 9 – 6 623 465-9151 Web Site www.SpiritualSexuality.com


Ask NIKKI ADVICE ON LOVE, SEX, RELATIONSHIPS AND MUCH MORE

BY NIKKI NOVA Hello everyone. I am Nikki Nova, adult model & film star, and Playboy TV host. I have been in the adult business for 13 years and counting. Throughout those years I have experienced a vast array of characters, situations, relationships and yes, some “sexspiriments” along the way. All of these things have given me a certain amount of wisdom in specific areas and subjects of life that I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do with until now. I am here for you to ask any questions that you may have on sex, dating and/or relationships. I will give you advice based on my own experiences and those of my friends and co-workers. Mind you my co-workers are porn stars, centerfolds, and yes even ladies of a certain timeless profession. I may not be a Dr. but I do have a naughty nurses outfit or two and a nice big velvet sofa for you to lay back on and confide in me while I play therapist so ask away....xo.

Q

Dear Nikki , My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months now and everything has been great. The other night when we were having sex he reached for my hand and asked me to put fingers up his butt. I had never had that happen before and I was wondering if you think he might be gay or bi? – Christine

A

Oh Christine! The stories and the things I could tell you hahaha. First and foremost I seriously doubt that he is gay. I do not have enough information to go on to answer or not whether he is bisexual. If you are asking me that question based solely on him wanting you to put your fingers in his butt then you can most likely relax a bit. As you know men have a prostate. Believe it or not that helps them to have pleasurable anal stimulation and orgasms. This has become more widely known and openly discussed over time to where some men are curious what that would feel like. Maybe he was just curious. Maybe he already knows that it feels great but has not been comfortable enough to ask for it from you until now. In that case you can take it as a compliment and be happy that you just reached a new level in your relationship. Ok now here’s where I’m going to tell you a story about a friend of mine and her experience with a much more difficult version of this same story. We will call her “Kelly”. Kelly was a photographer and her and her husband met and fell instantly in love. A couple years into the relationship he came into the bedroom wearing a pair of her panties and then proceeded to have sex. He then started always wanting to wear her panties. It progressed to dressing like a girl from head to toe when they would have sex. After that he would ONLY have sex with her in full drag and then wanted her to fuck him up the ass with a strap on while being in full drag. She ended up with a bit of a drinking problem and they came to the very realistic conclusion that they were not a perfect match. haha. My point is that it’s fairly normal for a man to have a healthy curiosity about the abilities of his body especially when it comes to sex. I mean what man do you know that doesn’t love to cum? I would say that same thing to you, that I would say to ANYONE that’s been dating for 8 months. Have fun, explore and get to know each other but at the same time keep both eyes open as you proceed.

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Q

Dear Nikki, My name is Mike and I need your help BAD. I am 22 years old and my girlfriend is 18. She has had sex with one other guy before me but that’s it. She’s pretty inexperienced. We’ve been dating for a few months and I like her a lot. She’s so hot it drives me insane. Everywhere we go everyone’s looking at her. There’s just one problem. Her pussy kinda stinks. I want to be able to go down on her without gagging. I’m serious. I’ve tried 2 times and I just can’t. Her cooch smells nasty. What do I do? Should I just tell her to douche or something? – Mike

A

Mike, Oh that sucks. lol. Ok here’s the thing, if she’s as inexperienced as you say then she may not even realize it. She may think she smells like every other girl. I mean it’s not like most parents are going to have that kind of talk with their kids and most guys aren’t going to say anything to some girl they just hooked up with. She’s young. Insecurity and inexperience come with that. I would say to start out hinting in a delicate way. Offer to take a nice relaxing bath together. After the bath then go down on her. Maybe even say something to her about how you love to go down on her fresh out of the bath because it’s so clean and wet. Throw in wet so it’s not so obvious. Now if it still stinks fresh out of the bath then she may have a more serious issue going on and may need to go to the Dr. In the meantime get out the bubble bath!

Q

Hi Nikki. I need some honest advice. My boyfriend has been wanting to have a threesome forever. I know it’s a guy thing and I know everyone does it now but I never have. I don’t even know how to go down on a girl right because I’ve never done it. I love him and we have been together for 4 years. We’ve been living together for 3 of them. Neither one of us has ever done it and I really do want him to be happy. I’m afraid if I don’t do something to keep the spark alive that he will end up finding someone else. Help? – Patricia

A

PatriciaThis question is so very near and dear to my heart. Ahhhh. I seriously love this question because I am so certain that what I am going to tell you is going to help you tremendously, along with anyone else that’s reading it. First you need to be really honest with YOURSELF about why you are considering this. If it’s just out of fear of losing him then that’s a possible recipe for disaster. That being said I think there are things that cut down on the risks. For example, do not just go out to some bar and get drunk and take some random chick home. You don’t know if she’s really down for it and even if she is you don’t know what std’s she may have or whether she is just a ball of drama. I mean I personally don’t think you should be bringing that into your home anyway. Your home is your sacred space. Sexplorations are for hotels and the further away from home the better. I mean if you try things when you are on a trip then there’s much less of a chance that you will ever bump into that person. A lot of people try this with a close friend. I think that’s a BIG mistake! It ruins friendships. You will always wonder if your man is thinking about your friend and vice versa. Please don’t do that. Especially since you are unsure about it in the first place. Now I personally think a professional is the way to go. Yes a prostitute. This way you know that the girl will do what you guys want and she will probably help you both through the experience. You will be a lot less insecure about your man and her because although he may be hot and horny, he’s not going to leave you for a prostitute. Come on. Go to Vegas and visit the bunny ranch where prostitution is legal and you can leave the person and the place there but take the experience with you. If you’re going to do it then do it in the way that’s right for you and your honey. Go to the bunny! hahaha

Anyone else out there have a question for me? Or an experience that they would like to share? Write me and perhaps your question will be next! You can write me letters and mail them to Nikki Nova 4331 E. Baseline Rd B-105 #431 Gilbert, AZ.,85234 You can always email me too at nn@nikkinova.com Please remember that I get a lot of emails and not all of them can be in the magazine


A Leprechaun Joke

LAUGHS

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden. “You’re a leprechaun!,” she says, “I caught you and you owe me three wishes!”. So the leprechaun replies “OK, you caught me fair and square, what’s your first wish?”. The woman stops and thinks for a second, “I want a huge mansion to live in.”, he replies “OK, you’ve got it.”. Woman again thinks it over, “My second wish is a Mercedes.” “OK, you’ve got that too.” “My last wish is a million dollars!”. The leprechaun then says “OK, you’ve got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me.” “OK then, if that’s what it takes...” Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.“Tell me,” says the man, “how old are you?” “I’m 27”, she replies. “Fuck me”, says the little man, “27 and you still believe in leprechauns”

4 Kinds of Sex There are four kinds of sex : HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room. BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom. HALL SEX - After you’ve been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say “FUCK YOU” COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you’ve got.

The Better Health Plan The queen of England was visiting one of Canada’s top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating. “Oh my god!”, said the Queen, “That’s disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???”

72 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

The doctor leading the tour explains, “I’m sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn’t do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly.” “Oh, I am sorry” said the Queen. On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job. “Oh my God”, said the Queen, “What’s happening in there?”

The Doctor replied, “Same problem, better health plan.”

Language Lesson A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. “Mom”, the boy asks, “What’s a pussy?” The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says “Son, that is a pussy.” the son then asks “What’s a bitch?” The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says “Son, this is a bitch.” The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says “Dad, what’s a pussy?” The father doesn’t want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says “Son, this is a pussy!” The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks “Then, what is a bitch?” The dad replies, “That’s everything outside the circle!”

Fresh Meat A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and serve the venison for supper. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won’t eat it if they know what it is - so he does not tell them. His little boy keeps asking him, “What’s for supper?” “You’ll see”, says his dad. They start eating supper and his daughter

DIRTY JOKES, LIMERICKS, PICTURES AND ANY THING ELSE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

keeps asking what they’re eating. “Ok,” says her dad, “here’s a hint, its what your mother sometimes calls me.” “We’re eating asshole!!”, she screams.

Camel Toe One time there was an army camp in India that just received a new commander. During the new commanders first inspection everything checked out except one thing. There was a camel tied to a tree on the edge of the camp. The commander asked what it was for, one of the soldiers who had been stationed there for a while explained to him that the men sometimes get lonely since there where no woman there so they have the camel. The commander just let that go, but after a few weeks he was feeling very lonely so he ordered the men to bring the camel into his tent. The men did, and he went to work on it. After about an hour the commander came out zipped up his pants and said, “So is that how the other men do it?” One of the men responded, “No we usually just use the camel to ride into town.”

Too Much Sports Roger is a hard worker, and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend, his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club. The doorman at the club spots them and says “Hey Roger! How are you tonight?” His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before. “No, no. He’s just one of the guys I bowl with.” They are seated, and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says “Nice to see you, Roger. A gin and tonic as usual?” His wife’s eyes widen. “You must come here a lot!” “No, no” says Roger “I just know her from volleyball.” Then a stripper walks up to the table. She throws her arms around Roger and says “Roger! A table dance as usual?” His wife, fuming, collects her things and storms out of the bar. Roger follows her and spots her getting into a cab, so he jumps into the passenger seat. His wife looks at him, seething with fury and lets Roger have it with both barrels. At this, the cabby leans over and says “Sure looks like you picked up a bitch tonight, Roger!”


HOROSCOPE

WHAT’S YOURSIGN?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! SEXY Pisces February 19 ,March 20

Use your head and let your heart follow! Now is an excellent time you broaden your horizons and to make your passion your work. Your social life will dramatically improve this month. Ignore all the negative people in your life and keep moving forward. Small concerns may feel insurmountable. Although this is normal, pace yourself, and you will succeed! Make your move when the odds become more favorable. You will become witness to the incredible improvement in the health of your close friend, lover, or spouse. You will feel incredible passion and intimacy with the one you love. Your honor will be tested and you will be vindicated.

Aries

March 20 - April 20 Run for the cover! The are many issues swirling around your life, better to just seek shelter. Some limitations will feed your need for safety, but you will desire to evolve fast and experience will lead you to stop just short of going off the edge. Hold all your brilliant ideas until later this year. You will have a hard time trying to get your ideas across. Pace yourself.

Taurus

April 20 - May 21 Welcome and happy Soloed Return, Taurus! It becomes crystal clear that your philosophy of life and your emotional nature is unique to your personality. You help by the holding on to your ideals, but the aftermath can become disillusive. Compassion is comfortable and you will broaden your personal relations. You will

74 |PLAYTIME |MARCH 2010

B Y M A D A ME TROYSHENKA

think over past devotions and the creating of new resolutions over your educational nature. Kindness will be your reward.

Gemini

May 21 - June 21 Practical decisions regarding your friends can bring large rewards in your future. You will build up a good health regime this month. New positions will open up at work but proceed with the necessary caution in your new endeavor. Later in the month you will want to re-evaluate the large photograph of your life instead of always getting caught in the dynamics of the daily activities. Your feeling of integrity has been increased with your good manner. Just don’t keep overextending yourself.

Cancer

June 22 ,July 22 Practical tips of others over financing or a contract of priceless value appears to you! The states of the World can lead you to feelings of inner need. Now is not a good time for finding security in another’s bed. Optimism turns back towards you and is increased. Energy is abundant and you can enjoy your activities in the neighborhood of perpetual movement! Excitement and stimulation are going to be your friends this month!

Leo

July 23 - August 23 Your creative talents will take on a more practical tint. Saturn helps by improving the outlook of long course projects. The logical attitude of others can lead you to feeling as if you on the wrong planet! Ladies, the right friendships with a man will lead to hot passion. It will be your only relief in the beginning of the month. Later this month you will reawaken your feelings for humor and adventure. This is a great time to plan a trip.

Virgo

August 23 - September 23 How delightful! This month you will find extreme satisfaction with your relationships and with your friends. While stability is what you have, you crave excitement, but hold on. Work may throw you a curve ball this month. Try to confirm all the details of your plans in advance. This will save you many frustrations later. Your legendary observational skills have been increased through accuracy and intuition. Your kindness and benevolence has brought you to a position of calm. Get comfortable!

Libra

September 23 - October 23 Squabbles with your friends and lovers this month will take on a sister or brother quality. Look at your tendency to exaggerate problems!


It could cause a lot of problems with others. Suppressed feelings and emotions can surface without warning. In the long run, handling your relationships in such a manner is a blessing in disguise. Problems at school and at home may escalate.. It will be a crucial point to choose HOW to best treat this area of tension.

Scorpio

October 23 November 22 Unexpected curves in the road of life will cause you to lose some sleep. Ease distance of the chatterboxes in your life at this moment. Keep an eye on the bigger picture and take in as many details as you can. The spontaneity of sport and recreation can become exciting! A major trips and adventure, is coming and just by going will bring you contentment in the end.

Sagittarius November 22 December 21

The stars tell you to step carefully this month. Take extra precautions when working with fire or electricity. Relationships can become confusion. This month you must use good planning and make use of what you have learned from mistakes in the past. Sudden changes can act in your favor at work and you may find yourself much busier than you want. Step out of your box this month, get crazy! Exhibit your passions! Laugh with your friends! This will help you find your answers.

Capricorn December 21 January 20

You will recover from your crises with a renewed vigor and this positive attitude will bring you great things!. This is a great month to get out and travel for you. All you hard work has paid off! People at school or at work have noticed. Keep up this positive attitude and you will achieve your goals. Opportunity knocks for you this month but approach it with a bit of common sense and you will be rewarded.

Aquarius January 20 February 19

Inner freedom may appear as your only freedom as powers from outside try to oppress you! Changes in management at your work may throw you for a loop but keep a level head. This is not the month for you to throw away your diet and hit the cookies and sweets. Outside forces will put immense pressure on you this month, be sure to have an escape plan. This is an excellent time for you to get a medical exam. Now may be a time to settle old debts as well. You will become the problem solver this month. The results of your solutions will prove better than even you expected. The concern over the safety of those in your life will be quite real.


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e-mail artdirector@playtime.com if you would like to list your club or business in our adult directory.

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Playtime March 2010 Issue