and belong,” she says. “Chances are there is going to be somebody in the group you can relate to.” David Murray, 46, of Schenley Heights and his partner joined FLO about five years ago after adopting a baby girl, who is now six years old. “It was just really cool to connect with these people who had different experiences, but were gay parents,” he says. As his daughter gets older, David says he hopes she can use these early experiences with Families Like Ours to give her confidence as she grow up. “I’m hopeful we’re investing in her self-esteem and preparing her for any pushback she might get as the child of gay parents,” he says. As a parent, Kate says she felt isolated without other LGBT friends to relate to things like finding a gayfriendly pediatrician or helping kids feel comfortable talking about their families.
Kate says the main way the group communicates now is via a closed Facebook group. Anyone interested in joining is screened, however, for the safety of the children.
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David says he enjoys the controlled chaos, when FLO events can garner up to 60 or 70 people. “It’s crazy, but it’s really affirming,” he says. Another mother told Kate that her eight-year-old was apprehensive about talking to other kids about his two moms before they joined FLO. “Since he joined the group, he’s proud of his family and he talks to people about his two moms all the time,” she says. Anyone interested in joining Friends Like Ours can contact Kate via email at klpassarelli@gmail.com to be included in the Facebook group for future events.
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“We’re just hanging out as a group of friends that have something in common,” Kate says, which she found helpful as many of her other gay friends were “still doing the bar scene,” but she couldn’t with kids in tow. Members of FLO marched in their third Pittsburgh Pride March in June with parents and children of all ages. David says he enjoys including his daughter in the experience, especially since the crowd reacts a little differently to gay families. “The tenor changes when you see a bunch of kids going by,” he says. “Our kids love participating in the march.”
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