2012 Pink Loerie News

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PINKLOERIE news April-May 2012




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MARDI GRAS & ARTS FESTIVAL I N A S S O C I A T I O N W I T H L O V O K A The story of the Pink Loerie Mardi Gras and Arts Festival is a story that begins with Knysna. Hidden away 1200 km south of Johannesburg and east of Port Elizabeth, lays the charming town of Knysna (a local Khoikhoi word that quite possibly may mean ‘ferns’). One of the best kept secrets of South Africa, the town of Knysna is located in the Garden Route and is surrounded by lush native South African rainforests, spilling out into a crystalline estuary fed by the Knysna River. For the past twelve years at the end of April and the first week of May, Knysna has also become home to one of the freshest and most exciting LGBTI celebrations around the world – the Pink Loerie Mardi Gras and Arts Festival. Initially started by local businessmen to entice tourists to the town during the slow month of May and reinvigorate the local economy, the Pink Loerie Mardi Gras was also an event that that would not only incorporate the region’s gay identity but celebrate the cultural contribution the gay community made to the region and overcome a history of suppression. And with an ever increasingly visible gay population, Knysna’s Pink Loerie has quietly become one of the most written about and must-see annual celebrations within the global gay community. During the early days of the event’s creation, the organisers had first thought to have the event as a parade similar to the famous Pride events found throughout Europe and South Africa. The next option was to hold a parade and party akin to that of the Sydney Mardi Gras. Whilst acknowledging that the region was in need of an event that provided a

celebratory and creative outlet for the LGBTI community, the organisers agreed that whatever it was that was created should go beyond that of the traditional, better known Pride parade. It should be a celebration, a carnival – and a carnival with a purpose. This would allow the event to become something that incorporated all residents and visitors in the town regardless of their sexuality, thus celebrating the rich diversity of people from the Eden area. It would be an event that would truly embrace the ideals of equality and freedom. Whilst essentially still being a celebration of gay culture and queer freedom, it would also be a platform where LGBTI cultural and political issues could be debated and addressed, albeit in an informal manner. Issues such as sexual education, HIV/AIDS and acceptance from both sides of the community are often primary themes of discussion and celebration. After some initial discussions with the

local government and a whopper of a fund raiser that proved just how much support they had from all areas of the community, they were ready to begin … And so in 2001, the very first Pink Loerie Mardi Gras was celebrated and to say it was a huge success is an understatement. A more culturally aware version of the European Pride, Pink Loerie Mardi Gras provided a wider range of events, exhibitions and gatherings that focus on creative and political endeavours within the South African and international gay communities. Performing art shows, art exhibitions and charity drives are held that provoke thought and debate and provide many a creative platform to share their opinions and experiences. And, for the more outdoor oriented, there are excursions to local tourist attractions such as Monkeyland, Birds of Eden, as well as lagoon rides on the passenger speed inflatable boat, Knysna Rib Adventures and more. But at its heart, the Pink Loerie is a festival and celebration so dancing, fun and music also played an enormous part of the event, with daily shows such as the ever-popular “Little Poof!, now showcasing its third version, held at various locations throughout the town and club nights at the ever-popular Zanzibar Lounge & Club in Main street and for the girls, just opposite at Davanna Wine Bar (formerly “Upstairs”). The grand finale of the Pink Loerie Mardi Gras, the Parade and after-party, is held on the final weekend of the celebrations – at 3 pm on Saturday 28 April.

Spanning over five days, from 26 to 30 April 2012 (1 May being a public holiday), the festival attracts floats, performers and DJ’s from all over the world and local businesses also get into the spirit, competing for the best Pink Loerie window display. It all ends off on Sunday 29 April with a “recovery party” at Zanzibar from 2 pm. The Pink Loerie Parade is the event where Knysna comes into its own, with the locals showing the full extent of hospitality, fanfare and festive spirit that is the backbone of the event and the reason that people keep coming back every year. A notable accomplishment of Pink Loerie is the charity drive for local charities such as Loeriehof Old Age Home in Graham Street, Knysna. Pink Loerie Mardi Gras & Arts Festival is therefore a time of celebration, but celebration with a purpose. We hope you enjoy this year and indeed, can all shout there

“ain’t no


BIG enough” to keep this Mardi Gras in! PLOC

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Dear Party People The Pink Loerie Mardi Gras and

Arts Festival has become a Knysna Institution. This first festival of its kind on the African continent continues to draw visitors to our beautiful town year after year.

April-May 2012

The festival is surely the biggest draw-card for first time, as well as returning, visitors, but we also know that the town of Knysna holds a certain allure which encourages visitors to return year after year.

award winning spa, indulge in world class shopping, treat their taste buds at any of our amazing restaurants, or experience a real alternative lifestyle while touring through our townships.

Those who return regularly do so because they know that when they need to take a break from the party, they can relax on one of our pristine beaches,;take a leisurely cruise on the estuary, experience the mystery and magic of our indigenous forests, be pampered at an

Be sure to stop over at the Tourism Office opposite the Knysna Mall in the Main Road - we’ll make sure that your time in between parties is spent experiencing Knysna at its best. Shaun van Eck Knysna Tourism CEO

Gras and Arts Festival, I urge you to do so safely and responsibly. Our Municipal Law Enforcement Officers are here to ensure everyone’s safety; do not hesitate to approach them should you experience any problems. Please also take some time out in between the sequins and bass beats to explore our beautiful town – I know that you’ll find many reasons to book your next holiday to Knysna.

Dear Pink Loeries This is my first Pink Loerie Mardi Gras and Arts Festival as Executive Mayor of Knysna and it gives me great pleasure to welcome you all to Knysna in this official capacity.

Knysna is synonymous with the Pink Loerie. While Pride-days take place all over the country, it is with great pride that we host this truly unique festival year after year. For a few days our town is transformed into a glitter ball of activity that allows our residents to sparkle as we enter the winter season.

Thank you to the organisers of the festival for continuously bringing this original and innovative initiative to our town. Each year sees new, exciting developments which only add to the overall Pink Loerie experience. I look forward to building on the relationship forged between yourselves and this office in the past.

We all know that this festival is about having fun – and while I want you all to make the most of the 2012 Pink Loerie Mardi

I’ll see you on the dance floor! Executive Mayor of Knysna Councillor Georlene Wolmarans

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SEASON 3! Bruce J. Little is back!

And this time the Little Poof! promises even more hilarity and moffie musical morphing mayhem in The Little Poof! Big Bang! This “versatile” performer at the “top” of his game, portrays different characters that will make you laugh from the “bottom” of your stomach. See some familiar favourites like Mariska the reluctant fag hag and Thandawami the Love tokoloshe, as well as some all new characters like Quinton the queer wolf and Phil Macavity the roving (raving) reporter for Queer TV news, reporting to you live from the scene of the crime. Little Poof! Has become an annual part of the whole Pink Loerie experience so come and laugh at and appreciate the vibrancy of our queer culture and our homo heritage. You won’t want to miss it! “Anybody? Enigiemand? Nie!”



His voice is sublime. His piano playing is phenomenal. South African darling of the cabaret stage, Emile Minnie, brings you an hour of fun, humour and fabulous songs. SAMA award nominee Emile Minnie will be performing closetexiting hits with just a piano and his amazing voice. Come and see this captivating artist light up the stage with his humour and energy. Songs include “Love is a stranger” by the Eurythmics, “Holding out for a hero” by Bonnie Tyler and “Born this way” by Lady Gaga.

For that something extra Emile will be doing French love songs by Piaf, as well as an original Afrikaanse treffer or two.

Starring Bruce J. Little & featuring Carel-Piet van Eeden

SHOW DATES: Fri 27 April, Sat 28 April & Sun 29 April SHOW TIME: 12 Noon SHOW VENUE: Zanzibar Cocktail Lounge COST: R90 per person




Grab your handbag, your man purse or your moonbag and make your way to see Emile Minnie in Cabaret!

SHOW DATES: Thu 26 April & Mon 29 April SHOW TIME: 12 Noon SHOW VENUE: Zanzibar Cocktail Lounge COST: R90 per person

37 Fichat Street FRIDAY, SATURDAY & SUNDAY 10:00 to 16:00

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THE HISTORY OF THESEN ISLANDS Thesen Islands is steeped in the history of the Southern Cape. It is situated in the midst of the tranquil waters of one of the richest ecological estuaries in South Africa – home to the rare and endangered Knysna sea horse – hippocampus capensis. Legend has it that the San – or Bushmen – were the earliest inhabitants of the island. Later, settlers made the area their home, drawn by the rich indigenous forests where herds of the famous Knysna elephant roamed. The island became known as Paarden Island – ‘Horse Island’ The name Thesen has its origins in far-away Norway. In July 1869, Arndt Leonard Thesen, a prominent timber merchant from Stavanger in Norway left his hometown with is wife and nine children, planning to start a new life in New Zealand. After their ship, the Albatros, ran into difficulties near Cape Town, Arndt Thesen decided to stay on in

South Africa. The Thesens settled in the picturesque town of Knysna, surrounded by indigenous forests, where they started a timber trading company. In 1904 his son Charles Wilhelm Thesen bought Paarden Island, located in the Knysna River estuary. In 1922 he established a timber processing plant on the island, which soon became known as Thesen Island. In the early 1980s Barlows, one of South Africa’s industrial conglomerates, purchased the island and its timber treatment plant from Thesen and Company. Barlows soon realized that the timber processing activities could not be continued on this island located in the midst of

such a scenic and eco-sensitive lagoon. At the same time there was growing community concern about the environmental and industrial pollution caused by the factory’s activities. As a result the plant’s doors were finally closed. In the ensuing years the abandoned derelict buildings, machinery and waste dumps increasingly turned into an eyesore and a health hazard. In 1991 Dr. Chris Mulder, a South African environmental engineer who received his doctorate in environmental design in Houston, USA, proposed a complete redevelopment of the island into a unique residential marina.

As the Knysna River estuary is one of the most sensitive ecosystems in the country and a major tourism attraction, the development of Thesen Islands called for extremely careful and sensitive planning covering ecological, architectural, engineering, aesthetic, social and cultural criteria. After eight years of research and planning by Dr. Mulder and his team, approval was finally granted in December 1998 - but with over one hundred strict and complex conditions. In all, ten years passed from initial concept to final approval, involving twentyfive alterations to the master plan! SOURCE: www.thesenisland.co.za

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KNYSNA – A HAMLET OF FUN IN THE SUN The Western Cape Coast is dotted with little towns. Many were inspired by the sea as fishermen set their families up in villages along the coast. Knysna has flourished into a busy commercial center without losing its small town feel. No wonder it has become one of the most popular vacation destinations for locals and a must see stop over for international visitors.

The town constantly hums with over 8 festivals held in Knysna each year, including the flamboyant Pink Loerie Mardi Gras in late April and the sport and cuisine infused Oyster Festival extravaganza in mid July. In between these two adrenalin fueled events, a literary festival draws book lovers from across the country and aims at promoting local authors. It also aims at inspiring children to become avid readers. The Knysna Rastafarian community also hosts their own festival, held toward the end of July.


The question could well be, “What can’t you do?” There is shopping, art, adventure by land, lagoon and sea and restaurants to silence growling stomachs.


For the adventurer, there is a plethora of activities to choose from, especially in or on the water of Knysna lagoon and further out to sea. With all the water around, scuba diving is naturally a big attraction. The flow of the ocean through the Knysna Heads has a treacherous reputation. The many rocks and sand banks have claimed boat after boat and divers are able to view many of these on diving trips. There are 14 notable dive sites in or near Knysna that include wrecks and reefs. Water skiing, sea kayaking, canoeing, sailing, deep sea fishing and windsurfing are some of the activities available for adventure lovers. However, for folks with a culinary disposition, lunch or dinner cruises on the lagoon are also available. Perhaps a short cruise across the lagoon from the Waterfront Shopping Mall to Featherbed Nature Reserve will be as satisfying as kite surfing on the beach near Brenton on Sea.


This privately owned nature reserve is a South African Heritage site and is accessible only by ferry. The reserve is located on Knysna’s Western Head. It is a wonderful opportunity for nature lovers to experience a 4 hour excursion (with or without lunch), a fun day to be enjoyed by the whole family. A guided walk will introduce the visitor to the rare Black African Oyster Catcher and inform visitors about the extremely rare and endangered Knysna Seahorse.


Local food and craft markets always offer a genuine experience of local cuisine and culture. In Knysna and neighboring towns some markets are open daily or on weekends only and feature anything from home grown cooking to art, jewelry to recycled paper. The eclectic market community echoes the variety of restaurants that fill the culinary scene in Knysna. Locally harvested oysters and seafood is a treat. Anything is available from up market award winning chef inspired menus, to hearty pub lunches that leave you with greasy fingers and wholly satisfied.


There is a kaleidoscope of shops at the Waterfront shopping center, situated adjacent to the Knysna lagoon. Watching the sunset over the lagoon and sipping a glass of wine or frosty beer is euphoric but relaxing. The evening vibe here is always festive. Eight restaurants, quay side food kiosks, shops from clothing to candy and art galleries are all available, making a trip to the Quays an experience in itself. It is from here that visitors can board boat trips on the lagoon such as evening dinner cruises or a simple trip around the lagoon on Old Three Legs.

Knysna can’t be classified or easily described because it is varied in its culture, cuisine, adventure and history. It is only through first hand experience that Knysna is really understood. Visit Knysna, it’s that simple. Celeste Wilson is a travel specialist and co-founder of a comprehensive internet guide to travel in Africa. Visit http://www.findtripinfo.com/ to learn more about Africa as a travel destination.

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Knysna Fine Art & Villa Knysna Fine Art is one of South Africa’s finest galleries. We specialise in contemporary South African art in a variety of media, although a number of international fine artists are exhibited.

and has rapidly established a reputation for excellence with collectors, architects & interior designers.

The gallery also handles the work of the South African masters and works closely with vendors and collectors. Recent sales include major works by Gerard Sekoto, J.H Pierneef, Lucas Sithole and Robert Hodgins

We have a regular program of exhibitions in Knysna but also regularly mount shows elsewhere in South Africa, in Europe and the USA.

The owner is Trent Read, the elder son of the late Everard Read, who was the doyen of South African art dealers and Trent is the fifth generation of his family to be a dealer. He worked at Christies in London for several years and also worked in the USA but most of his career has been spent as a director of Everard Read in Johannesburg. He moved to Knysna in 1994 and opened the gallery in 1997. Trent is considered an expert in contemporary South African art but his knowledge of the fine and applied arts in general is broad. Clients of the gallery have access to a wide spectrum of expertise from his international links. The gallery moved to Thesen House in 2010 and there are very few galleries anywhere to have such beautiful space in which to operate. We have recently opened a new venue in the same building – A Different Drummer handles ceramics, objets de vertu, photographs and fine tribal artefacts,

We consult to museums, corporate and private collectors both here and internationally and

offer expert advice on the care and maintenance of collections. Our expertise in the design of environments to show art at its finest is used extensively by architects and designers. We value for insurance and probate.


8:30 to 5 Mondays to Fridays 9 – 1 on Saturdays Otherwise by appointment.

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TOP 10 THINGS TO DO IN KNYSNA Knysna is a town in the heart of South Africa’s beautiful Garden Route just East of Cape Town. Knysna lies nestled in between the Outeniqua Mountains and the Indian Ocean. Knysna has twice been voted South Africa’s favorite town, and with good reason. It’s a friendly, welcoming town with lots of attractions and activities.


If the tide is in, there’s very safe swimming at Bollard Beach towards the ‘top’ end of Leisure Island. It’s also got a sandy beach ideal for sand castles. At the ‘bottom’ end of the island, there’s a grassy, shady picnic site with BBQ facilities and toilets. If you want a very long romantic walk along the beach, you can walk all the way from Brenton-on-Sea to Buffalo Bay (about five miles). Don’t ignore any warning signs on the beaches as very strong currents do occur.


Knysna is surrounded by patches of state forest in which there are paths of varying lengths. Pick up a map at Knysna Tourism (phone 044-382-5510) and a permit at the forest entrance. If you’re a mountain-biker, there are various routes to explore in the state forests. At Millwood, there’s the 19km Homtini Cycle Route which starts at the Krisjan-se-nek picnic site. In Diepwalle, there’s the 24km Petrus-se-brand Cycle Route which ends at the Garden-of-Eden.


Soweto outside Johannesburg is the township that’s known internationally, but like many a South African town, Knysna also has a township which has realized that tours are one way to generate some income. You can take a township tour and visit one of the largest Rastafarian communities in South Africa.


Tree spotting has a distinct advantage over birding, what you’re trying to identify stays put. Start by stopping at any ‘Big Tree’ sign you see, then progress to a walk in the woods, tree guide in hand. The variety of habitats at Knysna makes for good birding year round. Look out for waders and sea birds at Woodbourne Marsh (alongside George Rex Drive) and alongside the causeway to Leisure Island, and for fish eagles upriver of the N2 bridge over the lagoon.


Knysna Lagoon is home to the world’s only estuarine seahorse species, but they’re so tiny you’re unlikely to spot one diving. Rather concentrate on the wreck of the wreck of the Paquita, in the Knysna Heads.




Once your kids hand feed an elephant at the Knysna Elephant Park (off the N2 between Knysna and Plettenberg Bay) they’ll all want to ‘work with animals’ when they grow up. Remember to wear old clothes as you’ll get covered in elephant spit.


If you’d wondered why the both heads of the Knysna Lagoon aren’t covered with houses, it’s because the Western head is a private nature reserve, called Featherbed. The tour starts with a 25-minute boat trip across the lagoon, then you’re driven up to the scenic lookout point where you choose between driving down again or do the 2,2 kilometer walk through the milkwood forest and along the lagoon’s edge back for a multi-course buffet lunch.


The road over Knysna’s Eastern Head and down the other side is extremely steep in places, but it’s the only way to get to a beautiful sheltered cove called Coney Glen. There’s a shady, grassed picnic site where you can BBQ, rock pools to snorkel in, and a sandy beach to sit with your camera to try to get that ultimate wave photo when the tide’s coming in.


The fishing is excellent in Knysna but first you need to buy yourself a fishing permit at the at the Knysna Post Office (corner Main and Montagu streets). Try fishing from the jetty in the Knysna Lagoon or in the surf off the rocks at Brentonon-Sea or Buffalo Bay. If you want some beer to help, Knysna’s local brewery, Mitchell’s, offers tastings of its beers (08h00 to 17h00 weekdays and 09h00 to 13h00 Saturdays). Phone 044-382-4685.

10. ENJOY THE PINK LOERIE! Enough said …

(Source: http://goafrica.about.com/od/knysnasouthafrica/tp/knysnatop.htm )

The Pink Loerie Mardi Gras was proud to have been able to donate R4 000.00 to the Vermont Centre being proceeds of a raffle and donations received during the 2011 Festival. The Vermont Centre was established in 1995 in the suburb of Hornlee in Knysna and was funded by government loan, lengthy fundraising and efforts by the community. The facility caters for 50 frail care and disabled people and has 6 double flats which can accommodate up to 12 needy, elderly residents who are independent but require a degree of nursing and social care. The heart of Vermont is to provide holistic 24 hour care and accommodation for frail and needy aged as well as for those suffering

from physical and psychological disabilities. Residents are drawn mainly from needy communities and poor socio-economic environments which have difficulty in providing the required financial and social support. Vermont Centre therefore has to engage in on-going fund raising to maintain a stable service to its residents which is of the utmost importance as high percentage are mentally disabled and psychiatric. But as the several pictures show, Vermont is a happy and colourful home for its residents and the Pink Loerie hopes to continue to contribute to the needs of the Vermont Centre.

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Lidia Theron’s important book is now available in English on Amazon.com as “I back my child unconditionally”. She says: “In the book, ‘I back my child unconditionally’, I wrote my own story from the heart, about how I came to accept my gay daughter unconditionally. Although my husband and our other daughter also played a part in the story, it is mainly my struggling (my own struggle). As mother I knew right from the start that my child Liesl, did not choose to be gay, she had to be born like that. Even if that means that the Bible is wrong. The latter I left for the theologians to sort out. Through the years, as I grew together with this situation, much of the initial deep sadness has faded, but the writing of the book was a therapeutic healing for me. The book is written originally in my mother tongue, Afrikaans. Because I could help so many people through it, I decided to get it translated into English. I sincerely hope that I will be able to reach more people this way and share my story with them.”


It also contains some new material such as a new chapter, “Five years later”, written about what has emerged in her life after the release of the book in Afrikaans in 2006. It is a have-to-read book - for parents, family and LGBTI persons themselves


Ek is op agtien uit die huis – kon nie wag om stad toe te trek nie. Al weet ek min. Ma het gehelp en steeds bly kos gee – sy het ‘n bakkery in Menlo Park gehad, Elsa’s, vir tien jaar. Die plek bestaan al van die sestigs en is steeds daar. Ma het nie net bakkery-kos gegee nie – sy het borde kos ingeskep en bakkery toe gevat, in die groot yskaste gesit mooi in plastiek toegedraai, waar ek en later jare ook broer, met ons sleutels, in die nag baie keer, kom oopsluit het en daarmee huis toe is om in die mikrogolf gaar te maak. Meal for one on the go. So tussen die kos aandra van ma, bakkery samoosas en vetkoek en take aways, is universiteit voltooi. Net na my finale jaar trek ek saam met vriendinne in ‘n huis en ons kry vir Miriam – wat kook. Wel, so half, hulle leer haar. Baie vriendinne-saambly later en ma se raad oor die foon kon Miriam na so 5 jaar baie skaflik kook. Oor die jare het dit goed gegaan, en sy het selfs “Fit for Life” leer kook as ek op een van daai was. En dit was gereeld. Van haar kos was uitstekend – veral haar herderspastei met chicken livers pleks van maalvleis was ‘n wenner, ook haar vetkoek en mince en haar pap en tamatie-en-uie shêba is nog steeds onoortreflik (selfs beter as ma s’n, maar moenie dit hard sê nie). By een van ons braais het ek die volgende dag vingermerke in die oorskietpap gekry. Munchies – en dit op pap!

Miriam bly by my selfs nadat die vriendinne weg is om te gaan mans en kinders kry. Tussendeur kom en gaan die boyfriends, party (Dirk veral) kon baie lekker kook. Maar hulle hou net nooit lank genoeg om my te leer nie. Wel, met een wat kook én Miriam was dit nie nodig nie, my talente wat betref die kombuis is onder die maatemmer. Dinge loop heel goed vir baie jare, maar soos die tyd aanstap word haar lus vir werk minder en haar “I demaaaand” meer. Twee jaar terug begin ek van die huis af werk en sy kan nie meer soapies kyk in die dag nie. Lang storie kort, ons paaie skei na baie jare van Miriam-kos. Martha kom aan boord, maar sy kook nie. Net in die dag ontbyt of middagete (nie albei nie) en maak slaai as ek vra, en so nou en dan ‘n groente. Vleis en vis gaarmaak word vir die eerste keer in my lewe my verantwoordelikheid. Ma help nou eers – gee raad oor die foon en kook skenkels en maalvleis wat gevries kan word. Maar ek wil leer en dan wys sy as sy hier is of ek bel. Dis egter 40 jaar se ondervinding wat in paar minute elke keer geleer wil word, ek het nooit tyd nie, en dinge werk nie so lekker nie. Ek het wel ‘n hele paar dinge geleer en wil graag vir aspirantkokke – effe bedorwe mans soos ek wat nog nooit leer kook het nie, en jong juffers (of ouens) wie nou self vir die nuwe man in sy of haar lewe moet of wil kook, ‘n paar wenke gee:

Kookwenke vir aspirantkokke in ‘n normale week: 1. Aan die begin van enige kokery, stel jou foon se alarm of die stoof s’n as dit een het vir

enige gereg wat tyd in beslag neem. Enige iets in enige oond teen 180 grade of daarbo word na so twee of drie ure swart en rook. Dis moeilik om die reuk uit die kombuis uit te kry. Maak die vensters wawyd oop, ook die oond, spuit Anti-Tobacco, gooi die spul in die vullisdrom - buite - en gaan koop Kentucky – dis oop selfs op Maandae.


As ‘n mens vleis buite in die sonnetjie ontdooi (dis beter as mikrogolf, want dan word dit nie taai nie hoor ek), sit dit op ‘n plek waar honde nie kan opklim of bykom nie. Jou kookplanne verander in dis pizza-aand vanaand. Mimmo’s het afslag op sekere pizzas op Dinsdae.


As mens kook, word goed warm. Of die plaat of die pan of die skottel. BAIE warm. Stoom is nie so onskuldig as wat dit lyk nie – dis EERS warm. Bedek jou hande met iets. As jy ‘n bak uit die oond haal met jou sakdoek, gaan jy brand, die kos vervloek en als neergooi en dan word dit Wacky Wednesday.


Moenie raad vra op Facebook oor hoe lank en op wat se hitte jy tjops in die oond moet gaarmaak nie. Jy kry vyf verskillende antwoorde. En moenie daaroor redeneer en dan op die internet gaan verder oplees nie. Mense in verskillende lande maak goed alles anders gaar en gebruik ander terme. En sommer ook vir ma bel op die koop toe nie – sy is bekend vir baie lank praat op die foon. Want na so uur of twee van navorsing, sien nommer een hierbo. Is daar ‘n Tacky Thursday iewers? Liewer Mr. Delivery Donderdag.


As jy maalvleis maak, moenie al die speserye wat jy het tegelyk uit probeer nie. Van die smake bots. Op die ou einde eet mens tog, want sulke smake het jy laas in Bangkok geproe in ‘n straatstegie. Maar dit werk net vir die eerste paar happe. Daarna word ‘n mens geel om die kiewe, amper soos die borrie wat jy ook ingegooi het. Freaky Fridays bestaan nie by Steers nie, dis ‘n klub-ding. Probeer Chinees. Nee wag, dan onthou jy weer Bangkok. Gaan liewer Something Fishy toe. Calamari sal jou van maalvleis laat vergeet.


As jy vars knoffel in die pan met olie gooi vir die geur en sodat jy kan weet wanneer die olie reg is, haal die knoffel uit as dit gebrand het. Gebrande knoffel is baie, baie bitter. Spur doen take-aways ook, of aangesien dit Saterdag is, bel vriende en gaan eet liewer uit.


Sondae eet ‘n mens groot in die middag, en daar is baie keer nagereg betrokke. Moet dit nie eers probeer nie. Daar is net te min tyd. Gaan haal liewer vir ma om dankie te sê vir al haar hulp die week en soek ‘n plek waar julle nog nie voorheen was nie. Met ‘n uitsig – en met ‘n restaurant. ‘n Goeie ene. Dis immers Sondag. Coenie Kukkuk, Apr. 2012

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April-May 2012


MBALI NTULI DA YOUTH FEDERAL CHAIR 29 MARCH 2012 Today we are releasing the final poster in our ‘In our future’ poster campaign series, which deals with a pressing social issue experienced not far away from where we sit today at the University of the Western Cape. The poster features prominent LGBTI rights activist Ndumie Funda and her partner, with the tagline ‘In our future they will be free to love without fear’. The poster is designed to highlight both her and many thousands of openly lesbian women’s struggle to simply live their daily lives without fear of victimization. No more starkly were the challenges that these women face illustrated than in the recent court case of Zoliswa Nkonyana, who was brutally murdered in Khayelitsha because her choice of partner. According to research by non-profit organisation, Luleki Sizwe, founded by Ndumie Funda who joins us today, more than 10 lesbians are subject to ‘corrective rape’ both by individuals and gangs every week in Cape Town alone, with over 510 cases of corrective rape reported every year. Over the last ten years 31 lesbians have allegedly been murdered because of their sexuality. As well as highlighting this serious issue, the poster also makes a statement about the kind of future that the DA Youth envisages for South Africa, namely one in which there is tolerance

and acceptance of every individual, even if their life choices are different from our own. Ndumie founded non-profit organisation, Luleki Sizwe, in 2007 after her fiancée was a victim of ‘corrective rape’ in an attempt to highlight this practice and lobby government to action, as well as to rescue, support and nurse to health survivors of ‘corrective rape’. At present, however, the South African legal system does not recognize such attacks, or any violence committed on the basis of sexual orientation. Rather, these crimes are dealt with in terms of the existing legislation and common law in the criminal courts. The DA Youth supports campaigns to ensure that individuals perpetrating crimes of this nature are handed down aggravated sentences that take cognizance not only of the violent act itself, but also of the motive, which is based on unacceptable discrimination on the basis of the social group the victim belongs to, whether that group be defined by sexual orientation, race, religion, ethnicity or any other constitutional determiner, An attitude of intolerance in South African society is still rife. That women can be subject to ‘corrective rape’ for their sexual orientation in South Africa in 2012 is simply unacceptable and a complete perversion of the constitutional values we fought so hard for. In OUR future every South African will be able to live a life they value with complete freedom from intolerance or victimization. In OUR future people will be free to love without fear.

The poster series, entitled ‘In our future’, follows on from the initial ‘you wouldn’t look twice’ DASO poster that went up on campuses in January and February, and serves to further expand our vision for the future of South Africa. The series of posters will be released in a phased approach on campuses, social media and on the campaign website www.inourfuture. co.za. Each poster will be launched alongside an event that illustrates the issues and vision we portray in that specific poster. The overarching vision we are seeking to illustrate is one in which there is: • Tolerance for everyone, even if their life choices are different from our own,

• The opportunity for anyone and everyone with talent and dedication to realise their dreams no matter their background, and, • Respect for the Constitution as the ultimate law in South Africa.


DA Youth Federal Chairperson 072 118 8556

Aimee Franklin National Youth Coordinator 072 232 0127

April-May 2012


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The Credit Crunch Imagine this scenario, in a label shop: “What do you mean I may not have the Pradas! There must be a mistake – I used that budget facility only last week!” But the unyielding store clerk only stares down her nose and says that one word that makes you want to evaporate there and then: “Denied!” You have vaguely heard about a worldwide recession, big banks in trouble, a new credit dispensation and black lists, but the unimaginable has happened to you – your credit cards are all maxed out and strange people with heavy accents are calling you all hours of the day to demand immediate payment. What has happened to you and so many others all over the world (including the biggest banks) is that credit has become hard to come by or completely dried up. It may not seem that Citigroup going bust may have any impact on your shopping sprees, but it has in a way. Interest rates are high, a recession happened or is happening (recession happens when the economy is shrinking – the gross domestic product (GDP) growth is a minus – for at least six months), inflation is high and particularly in South Africa, the introduction of the new National Credit Act no. 34 of 2005 (the NCA), has severely curtailed the availability of credit in most instances. Which, in a nutshell, means that you may not have those Pradas after all. The rationale behind the NCA is the protection of natural persons (you and me, not companies or close corporations, if their turnover is over a million rand annually) against over-zealous banks, stores and supermarket chains that grant credit – so-called the credit providers. Although it seems that the act works against you, as above, it actually does protect consumers. It replaced the outdated Usury Act of 1968 and the Credit Agreements Act of 1980 – and it deals with

consumer rights, credit marketing practices (those calls offering you yet another new credit card), over-indebtedness (the scenario sketched above), reckless lending (giving credit to persons who can not afford it), consumer credit agreements (what must be disclosed to you, the form of the agreement, rescission and terminating thereof), the permitted interest rates and other charges and fees that may be charged to your account. Further aims of the NCA are: • to make the credit market function more cost effectively and competitively by promoting a fair, competitive and sustainable credit market (it lays down certain rules to which credit grantors must adhere); • to ensure protection for consumers and curtail unacceptable practices (like those calls offering you yet another credit card with a huge limit without knowing much about you); • to ensure compliance with such rules as are laid down; • to ensure that consumers do not become overindebted; • to provide a credit market in South Africa that is fair, transparent, accessible, responsible and to protect consumers. (LAWSA – L.E.A.D by Nicky Campbell). It is however debatable if the Act does succeed in these lofty aims. What it means in non-legalese, is that it is definitely more difficult to obtain finance for immovable property (houses, flats, land). But what is a credit agreement? The act stipulates that an agreement constitutes a credit agreement if it contains: • some deferral of repayment or prepayment (“paying off”) and • there is a fee, charge (such as credit card charges) or interest imposed for a deferred payment, or a discount is given when prepayments are made. (LAWSA – L.E.A.D by Nicky Campbell).

April-May 2012

Yup: South Africa’s in a recession and yup: you’d best keep tabs on your spending. Coenie Kukkuk takes a look at the credit crunch and you… It is also important to note that certain agreements are excluded, namely: insurance policies, a lease of immovable property (if you are renting a house or flat) and stokvels. It all sounds ideal – but what help does it offers our friend without the Pradas and the incessant collection agency callers? There is a way out – and the buzzword is “over-indebted’.

• The credit provider must comprehensively disclose all costs of extending a credit facility to the consumer (meaning that all interest, charges and other fees payable must be disclosed, in percentage as well as rand value, as well as a repayment schedule in the form of a pre-agreement statement and quote – so that the client has time to think about it before signing the contract).

The NCA prescribes that a credit provider must first determine if a consumer can actually afford the amount he or she has to repay before credit is granted. If not, the agreement may be declared a reckless credit agreement (Section 81 (4)) and the court may declare such an agreement null and void. But beware – almost all the biggest credit providers such as banks, retail companies and clothing stores have made sure that they comply and chances of your Edgars account being quashed by a court is slight.

Now that we know how the act works, we can advise our friend how to obtain the protection the act offers. The act makes provision that a person who believes that he or she is over-indebted, may apply to a debt counsellor for a review of a debt or to a court to refer the matter to a debt counsellor. The counsellor must then notify all the creditors listed in the application for debt review as well as the credit bureaux such as ITC and Expedian. (Speaking of which, credit bureaux may now only keep records of your defaults – the so-called “black listing - for two years, not five as in the past for bad debt – only in case of a default judgement against you by a court).

The factors a credit provider should consider before granting credit, are (Section 78 (3)): • your income, regardless of the source or frequency thereof (basically your net salary); • the financial means and obligations of any other adult person in the family or household (mostly your spouse or person you are sharing the household with); • if the credit agreement is entered for a business purpose, the reasonably estimated future revenue flow. How can a credit provider ensure compliance of the act? The NCA (Sections 80 – 84, 76 and 92) prescribes: • The credit provider must conduct an extensive assessment of the consumer’s ability to pay (this means that you, the consumer must provide full information of your financial commitments for such an assessment to be made – failure to do so will prevent you from claiming protection under the act);

The counsellor is then tasked with determining if any credit agreement was reckless, and will make recommendations to court regarding your ability to pay. A court may then set aside all or some of your obligations where the agreement was reckless or suspend the force and effect thereof (this scenario is unlikely as we said above). If a court declares over-indebtedness, meaning that the contracts are valid but you can not adhere to all the obligations, the court may refer you to a debt counsellor for review or if a counsellor is already appointed, make an order restructuring your debt so that you are able to at least pay some of it. It is very important to realise that all of this does not mean that you will easily get away with debt – but it does offer help. It basically means that you will be given more time to pay.

But those Pradas will stay on the shelf…

April-May 2012

DIVORCE! - the final act What would you think is the first thing I ask a client when they are consulting our firm in a divorce case? How much money do you have? (Ok, I hear some lawyers do!) Why do you want to divorce your spouse? Were you unfaithful? Many possible questions come to mind. But I actually ask the person firstly: “Is there anyway that this marriage – or civil union – can be saved?” If the answer is “No”, I will proceed, otherwise not. A “maybe” won’t do – attorneys are not marriage counselors, their job is to help and assist in the dissolution of the union with the least amount of problems, and as soon as is humanly possible – to save their clients even more hardship, and of course - money. Not all attorneys are ethical, and not all attorneys do it this way, but it is the correct procedure in my opinion. South Africa experienced her first gay divorce as early as March 2007, according to a report in the Mail & Guardian, after a marriage which lasted only a couple of weeks. According to the newspaper, one Richard Thornton (52), filed for divorce from 20-year old Andries Jacobs. Having married on January 5, 2007, young Jacobs “packed his bags in the dead of night a matter of weeks into the marriage and, according to Thornton, moved in with another man in the same neighbourhood in the town of Krugersdorp.” And with that alleged act, Mr. Jacobs dragged gay South Africans into the divorce arena as equals to their heterosexual counterparts for the first time. Since then, many gay couples have divorced, or dissolved or deregistered their civil union. The difference is actually semantic, as the dissolution of a gay marriage or a civil union is handled in the same way as any divorce between heterosexuals was before. The most important fact to ascertain, regarding the division of assets, is if the couple entered into an ante-nuptial contract, commonly referred to as the “ANC” in legal terms (Afr: “HVK” vir “huweliksvoorwaardekontrak”). There are currently three ways to get married and arrange the estates of


There are things that I have heard people say about the “gay community” that I have not agreed with. But one observation that I cannot deny, is that we are a critical bunch. We haul one another over the coals for the smallest diversions from perfection. Who really cares if “such-and-such” gained five kilograms over Easter? And who cares if “What’s-his-face” arrived at an art gallery opening wearing “Crocs” and “cheap highlights”? I think we are only bitchy about other people when we are trying to divert attention away from our own shortcomings. Don’t get me wrong, I think we should avoid complacency and mediocrity at all costs, and that we should encourage discernment. But putting others down, is not the way to go about it. Leading by example is. Each and every one of us is completely unique (it’s not just our fingerprints), so, why do I feel that so many of us in the gay communityare trying to become some kind of uniformed tribe? Straight, whitened teeth, false tans and burgeoning steroid fuelled muscles are the order of the day. “Macho” bravado trumps any sensitive form of femininity, and yet each of us – at one point in our lives- has felt what it is like to be “the other”, or outcast. Why are we so hell-bent on conformity now? I understand the desire to “fitin”but it is not as big a priority as being true to myself, and this is where I find that I am “sitting-vas”with my concept; of what it is to be gay in SA in this day and age.

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the parties in South Africa; • with ANC, out of community of property, with the exclusion of the accrual system (commonly referred to as “totally out of community” or “what is mine is mine” and so on) – which means there are two estates, one for each spouse • with ANC, out of community of property, but with the accrual system applied (referred to as “postponed community of property” or “share after marriage”), which has the effect of creating three estates – one for each spouse that existed before marriage and the common estate which starts accumulating from the date of the marriage, and which is divided as agreed in the ANC, normally 50/50. • without ANC, which means that you are automatically married in community of property – there is only one estate, which will have to be divided equally after dissolution. (This is a basic setting out, and will suffice for the purposes of this article). A common misconception is that the behaviour of the parties, or other factors, are taken into account when the court makes an order of division of assets. It is actually nothing but a simple sum that is made – according to the formulae supplied above. When making an order of maintenance for children – or perhaps a spouse - again the incomes and expenses of the parties are taken into account and a proportionate amount awarded. However, problems arise when parties hide assets or income, or when they can not agree on the value of certain assets. A very small percentage of divorces is actually decided in court – that we leave for the rich of this world who has the money to pay attorneys ridiculous amounts in fees – to obtain in most cases near to what was initially offered. Most cases are settled – and most are settled within a few months after summons was served. A settlement is a process of give and take – you must be prepared to accede to some demands, either totally or in part, or pay higher fees.

We are an incredibly creative and intelligent community, which dominates in the Arts. But I feel that we could improve our skills with regard to acceptance, coexistence and compassion when it comes to one another. Some of the most openly hostile things I have ever heard referred to a gay man, I have heard coming out of the mouth of another gay man. We are our own greatest critics. Some of the most homophobic people I have encountered are themselves homosexual. What is equally disturbing is that no one seems to bat an eyelid when one homosexual decides to take another to task (behind his back) and publicly annihilate his character. Sadly, I have found myself guilty of this on occasion too (despite the fact that, no goodcomes from breaking another person down.) I ask myself: “What if the love of your life is fat and feminine?” My stomach bulks! “Anything but that!”, I think to myself. But, what if that is the case? And the only reason I have not yet found that special person yet, is because I am too blinkered with prejudice and smallminded superficiality. Whatever the case, I think each and every one us would benefit from a bit more kindness and acceptance. This Pink Loerie, let us enjoy and celebrate one another’s differences and hopefully begin to make peace with our own. Let’s laugh at ourselves and remember that we are all just playing our roles to the best of our ability, and that each of us is much more than the sum of our parts. Bruce J. Little

So what are the legal grounds for a divorce in South African law? Only two grounds exist – irretrievable breakdown of the marriage, or if one of the spouses have been committed to a mental institution for more than six months. This means simply that if one of the parties does not want to continue with the marriage, it has irretrievably broken down and a divorce is on hand. The law however requires that the reasons be given for the actual breakdown – to show that the parties are not conspiring to defraud creditors or other third parties, and convince the court that the marriage has in fact irretrievably broken down. These are the actual problems in the marriage and where the juicy bits that the tabloid papers thrive on, come to light. I still have a file of a divorce that I did about a decade ago, where no less than 32 reasons were listed. From the husband being a compulsive gambler, having bisexual tendencies (!), drug and alcohol abuse, through to insisting on threesomes and being unfaithful outside the marriage with both sexes. Your normal run-of-themill divorce mentions about five or six reasons, and often lists the following two: • there exists no meaningful communication between the parties and if they do communicate, it mostly results in conflict; • the plaintiff has lost all his/her love and respect for the defendant. After those two are listed it is mostly followed by one or both of the following – money problems or infidelity. (A wonderful indication as to what pitfalls to be careful of in a marriage, although this is said with a very cynical smile, a result of being somehow involved in just about 1000 divorces!). So what can be claimed? There are the division of the assets as explained above, the question of maintenance, both for the minor children, if any, and the lesser-earning of the two spouses, and custody and/or primary care of the children. Maintenance for minor children (under 18 or children studying and not yet earning an income) will almost always be ordered to be paid by the spouse not having primary care – if the spouse is an adopted or biological parent - and almost never to the lesser-earning spouse for him or herself, simply because that person has the

ability to earn his or her own income. In very few cases maintenance will be awarded to a spouse, mostly only for minor children. If there is a dispute as to primary care - as it is now known, meaning where the children will stay - the court will look towards the family advocate to investigate the matter and give a report as to which parent it is in the best interest of the minor children to have primary care. Custody these days are normally shared – meaning both parents will have to give consent in various matters such as which school to attend and so forth. It also needs to be mentioned here that as early as the 1920’s, it was remarked by a judge that even a prostitute can be a good parent! If the children are well looked after, the conduct of a party plays a small role, if any, in awarding primary care. The best interest of the children is the yardstick. To summarise – what to do if a marriage or civil union has irretrievably fallen apart? Firstly, the best is to ascertain that there is no chance of reconciliation. A cooling-off period or temporary separation is also a good idea, although this situation does not have any legal effect other than to show that the marriage was in trouble (South African law does not recognise “legal separation”). The best is to try and look at the situation objectively, as an outsider would, and make up your mind if the union is beyond repair. Only then proceed to the next step – which is to calmly discuss the matter, acknowledge that divorce is imminent and discuss a fair way of dealing with assets, maintenance and custody and primary care of minor children. A “friendly” divorce is always the best option – fighting means more money for the legal eagles. However difficult it is, try to settle – even before the advice of an attorney is sought. The last question we often get asked is – so do I actually need an attorney? Can’t I buy some booklet at a bookshop that tells me what to do? Well – if you perfectly understand all that was said above, even the implied detail for which we do not have space here, be my guest. Just don’t expect an attorney to sort it out if it results in a right royal mess without a legal bill added on top of it. Coenie Kukkuk

MR GAY WORLD 2012 It was almost third time lucky for South Africa, but Mr. New Zealand ultimately took the fourth Mr. Gay World title on Sunday 8 April 2012 in Johannesburg, South Africa. The 32-year-old hunky German-born Andreas Derleth, who lives in New Zealand, took the top spot out of 22 delegates from around the world at the glitzy Grand Finale ceremony at Gold Reef City Casino. Derleth works in operations in the retail industry in the city of Auckland and stood out dramatically from his competitors thanks to his imposing almost two meter height. He previously said that he entered the competition to “build bridges where contrasts exist.” “It’s overwhelming,” Derleth told Mambaonline after his big win. “I still have trouble realising it. I hope to do a good job and achieve something this year.” He added that he honestly didn’t expect to win. “There were so many great candidates. I really hope that the friendships will last.” South Africa came remarkably close to taking the title for the third time in a row with 24-year-old East London DA councillor Lance Weyer coming in as the first runnerup. The country previously won the contest in 2010 and 2011. In third place was 30-year-old Remy Frejaville, who represented France. The event was hosted by well-known television and radio presenter Soli Philander and the much-loved drag personality Cathy Specific. The show included performances by Ukrainian pop star Kamaliya and Baby

M from Japan. It was announced at Sunday’s event that the next Mr. Gay World competition, which aims to find a global gay ambassador for the LGBT community, will take place in Antwerp next year. The contest will form part of the cultural programme of the worldOutgames that will be held simultaneously in the Belgian city. by Mambaonline.com Other awards presented included: • Mr. Gay Swimwear - New Zealand (Andreas Derleth); • Sports Challenge - New Zealand (Andreas Derleth); • Best Interview Challenge - New Zealand (Andreas Derleth); • Mr. Gay Formal wear - Netherlands (Thom Goderie); • Mr. Gay Congeniality - Netherlands (Thom Goderie); • Mr. Gay People’s Choice Award - Philippines (Carlito Floro Rosadino, jr) • Mr. Gay National Costume - Philippines (Carlito Floro Rosadino, jr). • Mr. Gay Photogenic - Argentina (Gonzalo Enrique Bagalor) • Mr. Gay Outreach - Czech Republic (Tomas Fryda) • Top Score in the MGW Written Exam - South Africa (Lance Weyer) • 2012 Eric Butter Philanthropy Award - Coenie Kukkuk • 1st Runner Up: South Africa (Lance Weyer) • 2nd Runner Up: France (Remy Frejaville) • 3rd Runner Up: USA (Kevin Scott Power) • 4th Runner Up: Netherlands (Thom Goderie) Source: www.mrgayworld.org Photo: Mr Gay World 2012 Photographed & Brought to you by Kyle Araujo http://www.kyle-araujo.com/

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April-May 2012

George Rex left the British Admiralty Court in the Cape, where he had practised as a lawyer, after the handover of the Cape to the Batavian Republic and in 1804 bought the loan farm Melkhoutkraal from the deceased estate of Richard Holiday, who had a year earlier purchased it from Johann von Lindenbaum. George Rex, extending his landholding, bought the farm Eastford, between Grey Street and Salt River and later ceded 80 acres (40 morgan) to the Colonial Government on which the Royal Navy laid out the naval township of Melville on the lower part of the town in 1825, named after Viscount Melville, the 1st Lord of the Admiralty. On the death of George Rex in 1839 his properties were put up for sale.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF KNYSNA Stephanus Jesaias Terblans was the first white settler in the Knysna area. He farmed at Melkhoutkraal, which was established in 1770. Stephanus Terblanche died in 1790 after having had the loan rights for over twenty years. His widow, Hester Marx, stayed on the farm and ran it with the help of her children. She subsequently remarried Johann von Lindenbaum in 1798.

Lt. Col. John Sutherland of the Indian Army bought the northern section of Melkhoutkraal during a visit to the Cape in 1844. The village of Newhaven, was surveyed by William Hopley and laid down in 1849. The erven were then offered for sale by John Sutherland, the Colonel’s son. Knysna was at this time a Field-Cornetcy of Plettenberg Bay in the Division of George. It was declared a separate Magisterial Division in 1858; bounded in the west by the Swart River, the east by the boundaries of the Division of Humansdorp, north by the Outeniquas and south by the ocean. In 1882 the two villages plus “the wedge”, a triangle of land between the two villages, being the remaining land of the farm Eastford, were amalgamated to form a municipality, known as The Knysna, taking its name from the Knysna River. “Knysna” is a Khoi word meaning “fern”. Source: http://www.loveknysna.com/history/

Knysna War Memorial (1922) On instigation in 1921 by Harald Thesen, a veteran of the First World War, a subscription list was opened and £450 was collected towards a war memorial to honour those who had lost their lives in the service of their country. Designed by architect Charles Walgate of Cape Town, and built by John Donald of Knysna from stone quarried on the Brenton Hills, the memorial included a two-edged bronze sword and wreath

KNYSNA NATURE Knysna may be famous for the Knysna Elephant yet this allusive animal is far from being the only animal attraction the Garden Route has to offer. There are a number of very good Game Farms and reserves where most or all of the Big Five can be viewed from close quarters. And, what’s more, this malaria-free area of South Africa, with it’s pleasant all year round climate makes adventures into Natures Kingdom a memorable and safe experience. Two exceptionally good game farms within an hours drive of Knysna are Botlierskop Game Farm just off the N2 between George and Mossel Bay and Buffalo Hills Game Reserve only 35km from Knysna. A wide range of animals including buffalo, rhino, lion, leopard, giraffe and many species of antelope are available. If you are looking for elephant, Knysna Elephant park offer

a great opportunity to see these great creatures close-up. Walk with them, touch them and even feed a real African elephant. Monkeyland lies 46km east of Knysna just off the N2. The guided tours are very informative and are loved by all especially children. Raptors for Africa is next to Monkeyland and gives one an opportunity of handling these magnificent birds. For the avid bird watcher the area offers a huge variety - sea, estuarine and forest birds. The Garden Route coastline forms part of South Africa’s Whale Route, with some of the best whale spotting vantage points in the world. Various companies offer boat trips to view the whales and dolphins. Source: http://www.gotoknysna.com/nature.htm Photo: http://im01.thewallpapers.org/ photo/17741/Sperm_Whale.jpg

designed by Marion Walgate and a bronze plaque by HG Stevens, listing the names of the fallen. The War Memorial was unveiled on 17 December 1922 by The Reverend Captain Alfred Duthie, Chaplain to the Forces in Flanders and France during The Great War. Plaques bearing the names of the deceased from the Second World War and the Bush War have been added. Source:http://www.loveknysna.com/the-warmemorial-1922/#more-1473

April-May 2012


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April-May 2012

AFRIKAANSE KORTVERHALE Lili Marlene Skuins voor middagete loer Liesl by my deur in. Aan haar gesig kan ek sien sy wil weer iets hê. ‘Wat?’ vra ek ongeduldig, en kyk af na my rekenaar. ‘Kom ek stick jou vir lunch. Wag, ek weet jy dieet of iets, maar waar ek jou wil vat maak hulle die beste vegetarian pizzas denkbaar.’

‘Liesl! Kan nie glo nog ‘n maand is verby nie!’ Sy wangsoen en draai na my met hand uitgestrek. ‘Sonja Verwey! Aangenaam!’ Ek groet half skaam, sy is taamlik oorweldigend. Die stem laat my dink aan Marlene Dietrich – diep, sensueel. ‘Lili Marlene’ draai skielik in my kop. ‘Kom nou net weer van die gynae af! Sjoe, maar dis moeite! Maar als gaan goed, dankie!’. Sy lag diep en knipoog vir Liesl.

Sy bly stil en kyk af en ek weet hier kom dit. ‘Asseblief, Steven. Ek wil nie alleen gaan nie – dis nie werk nie, dis net ‘n vriendin en ek het nie vandag alleen krag vir haar nie. En sy is eintlik heel ok. Asseblief?’ Haar pleitende bruin oë kan niemand weerstaan nie en ek gee in. ‘Nou maar goed, op voorwaarde dat jy praat en ek eet. En jy help my met die reëlings van die kantoorfunksie volgende week.’ Oppad is sy stil in die kar. Nie haar self nie. ‘Wat se heks gaan saam met ons eet dat jy so stil hier sit?’ vra ek tergend.

Sy maak my ongemaklik en ek kan nie sê hoekom nie. Die laaste inligting was half ongevraagd. Die gesprek gaan oor werk en dit en dat. Baie oppervlakking. Ek kan nie my oë van haar sterk gesig af hou nie. Toe ons in mekaar vaskyk oor die tafel draai ek vinnig weg. Verbeel ek my of was daar ‘n speelse trek? Ek eet my pizza in stilte en dra die minimum tot die gesprek by. Sonja en Liesl pik-pik beide net aan hulle slaai. Ek kry die indruk dat hierdie maandelikse ritueel nie een eintlik meer aanstaan nie en dat hulle dit bloot doen uit ‘n pligsgevoel.

‘Nee, Steven, sy is net deur ‘n baie moeilike tyd en ek ondersteun haar. Ons … ons drie … ek en sy, ag …ons is al jare vriende, van universiteit af.’

Sonja is oppad nog voordat ek klaar is. Sy soen na my toe in die lug, en ja, daar is ‘n terg in haar oë. Dis die laaste ding wat ek nou nodig het. ‘n Vrou wat, soos my ma altyd gesê het, net tè is. Nee wat, hou verby dankie.

Sy sug.

In die kar terug raak die stilte te erg vir my.

‘Ek en die tweeling was soos die drie musketiers op varsity. Sonja en Marius was identies. En onafskeidbaar. Selfs colour-coded aangetrek. Daar was iets tussen ek en Marius, maar dit het nooit ver gekom nie, Sonja was altyd by. Maar ek en hy het geweet ons was meer as vriende.’

‘Ek het haar anders voorgestel Lee. Ek kan nie sê hoekom nie. Sagter. Nie, … so, wel …’ Skielik loop die trane oor Liesl se wange. Haar stem is skaars hoorbaar toe sy uiteindelik praat. ‘Moet niks sê nie Steven … Sien …. Sonja is dood in die ongeluk. Marius het bestuur.’

Die verkeer is druk en sy gaan na ‘n stilte aan. ‘Na varsity het hulle albei hulle klerkskap gaan doen. By dieselfde groot praktyk in die stad en ek is oorsee. Ons het kontak behou, maar mens dryf maar tog uitmekaar. Toe ek terugkom was ons ‘n paar keer saam uit, en dit was soos die ou dae, maar steeds hulle twee saam. Ek was nooit alleen saam met Marius nie. En toe gebeur die ongeluk.’ Die verkeer laat my toe om vinnig weg te kyk, want ek sien die trane lê vlak in Liesl se oë. ‘Dit was ‘n wonderwerk dat iemand lewend uit die wrak gekom het. Sy … Sonja … het my hulp nou nodig. En ek hare. Dis nou al langer as ‘n jaar. Sy … verwerk dit op haar manier, ek op myne. Marius is nie eintlik … dood vir my nie … en nou gaan ek en Sonja een keer ‘n maand lunch. Net dit. Die ou dae is verby.’ Ek sien dat ek Liesl nou moet los. Sy sal vertel wat nodig is en niks meer nie. So ken ek haar. Moet ook nie druk nie, dan slaan sy toe. Ons wag by die restaurant vir ons gas en ek staar na die menu sonder om eintlik te lees wat daar staan. As Liesl skielik opstaan, kyk ek op. ‘n Modieuse jong vrou kom aangesweef na ons toe. Lank, elegant en met net die regte hoeveelheid grimering aan. Haar parfuum dartel verby my.

‘n Droom in die trope Ek kyk uit by die venster van die villa. Die see kom tot teen aan die trappe onder by die hoofingang en die klein brandertjies wat daarteen breek veroorsaak ‘n sproei seewater wat elke nou en dan soos mis opstyg. Die son is sopas onder – die water se kleur is ‘n mengsel van blou en donkergroen tot waar die ander eilande so ‘n halfuur ver per boot bo die kalm see uitstyg. Die vasteland lê net agter die eerste paar en mens kan die blou berge van hier af uitmaak – netnet in die deinsterigheid. Dit is seker een van die mooiste plekke op aarde. Dis misterieus en donker hierdie tyd van die vroë aand, maar oop en lig en vol son deur die dag. Die inheemse bevolking is steeds behoudend en alhoewel hulle Westerse klere dra, is die stamgebruike en tradisionele lewenswyse steeds meestal in plek, anders as op die vasteland. Eeue-oue gebruike word deur legendes en mites vol vreemde dwerge, reuse en seemonsters verklaar. Die landskap is donkergroen net waar jy kyk – soos dit ‘n regte oerwoud betaam. Die villa behoort aan Renier, ‘n kennis wat ongelooflik baie geld uit die aandelebeurs in Londen tydens die goeie tye gemaak het. Ek en

Lenny is genooi deur Santa, ‘n gemeenskaplike vriendin. Sy en haar lover Bondina bly in een van die suites wat direk op die water uitkyk – dit het ‘n Turkse gevoel en is vol swaar roesbruin matte wat van die dak tot op die grond hang. Hulle bed is ‘n groot, swart matras op die grond met swart linne oorgetrek waaroor ‘n oorgroot spierwit muskietnet hang tot teenaan die dak. Die kruie wat hulle brand terwyl hulle hul rituele uitvoer, hang swaar in die lug en mens kan dit tot in die hoofvertrekke ruik. Santa is ‘n heks, maar ‘n goeie heks soos sy dit noem – hulle is Wiccans en kook, toor en dans gedurig. Ek verwys nie na die alewige ge”hmmm” en ge”hummm”, plante brand en insekte offerande as toordery voor haar nie. Ek het al te veel keer gesien wat sy doen en bly maar op my hoede. Daar is ander gaste ook in die enorme huis en ek het van hulle so vlugtig ontmoet. Meestal pare en meestal mans, ongeveer tien in totaal en omtrent almal Italiaans of Grieks. Daar is een jongman van inheemse Oosterse oorsprong, maar ek kon nie sy naam mooi hoor nie. Ek, Lenny en Santa is die enigste mense wat Afrikaans is; en praat maar Engels met mekaar as van die ander in die omgewing is. Ons is nog net twee dae hier en verwag nie ander gaste vir die week nie. Dis een of ander vakansie in Europa en hulle het aan die koue kom ontsnap hier. Ek neem hulle nie kwalik nie – ‘n uitnodiging na Renier se huis op die eiland sluit alles in. Bediendes, kos, drank, als. Jy moet net sorg dat jy daar kom. Ons is aangesê om kostuums wat sal werk in die tropiese hitte, in te pak vir vanaand – dis die aand van die kostuumparty – die eerste aand wat almal hier is en waar daar behoorlik fees gevier gaan word. Die tema is Egipte en ons het identiese gewade gehuur by die ou TRUK-kostuumkantore voor ons gekom het. Lenny doen al die grimering, hy is baie beter daarmee as ek. Sy gewaad is skraps en wit, myne bedek meer en is roomkleurig. Ons het gepunte pantoffels en swart pruike wat daarby pas. “Gaan trek aan!” roep hy van binne ons kamer – “ek is klaar.” Ek draai weg van die balkon en loop na binne. Hy sit voor die spieël soos Narcissus en my asem ruk tot stilstand. Hy is ‘n visioen – kompleet asof hy nou net van die muur in een of ander piramide afgeklim en voor my kom staan het. Sy soel vel steek pragtig af teen die spierwit broek en deursigtige baadjie wat oop is oor sy six pack. Hy sien die effek wat hy op my het en glimlag dat die kuiltjies in sy wange skulpies maak. Hy loer onder deur die swart gegrimeerde wimpers en sê smalend: “Jy kom nie naby my nie – ek kan nie alles weer oordoen nie.” “Ek sal nie, maar as die partytjie verby is gaan ek jou opeet!” en hy lag uit sy maag uit. In die eetsaal sit almal op rooiwyn kussings. Die tafel is net so dertig sentimeter van die vloer af – nie breed nie – jy kan amper aan die gas oorkant jou raak. Die kos is eksoties en so naby aan Midde-Oosters as wat die arme kombuismense kon kom. Almal lag en gesels deurmekaar – elkeen het baie moeite gedoen. Santa en Bondina het burkas aan – maar wat net uit sluiers en rompe bestaan. Hul bolywe is kaal en hul borste ingevryf met een of ander olie. Dit ruik heerlik en met die areolas bloedrooi ingekleur lyk hulle soos identiese nimfe uit ‘n fabel. Santa lag hard en diep en trek behaaglik aan die hubbly bubbly. Sy vra of ek wil hê en ek lag net. Ek weet sy het weer een of ander konkoksie daarin wat jou in ‘n beswyming sal plaas.

na onder en ons hoor net “Yes, master” en sy voetval teen ‘n haastige spoed. Iemand kom met die trappe op. Dis Renier. Aantreklik soos altyd, net effe ouer. “Hi all” sug hy en gaan sit op een van die hoë stoele by die kroeg. Hy lyk moeg. ‘n Koor van mense groet hom en Santa en Bonnie spring op. Hulle drapeer hulleself oor hom en hy lag hard. “Julle ruik soos tee tree oil!” lag hy. Hy kyk na ons en ek stel Lenny voor. Renier groet half met ‘n “O, ek is bly julle kon dit maak. Welkom.” Sy blik bly op Lenny en hy sê-vra “Renier”. “Lenny” antwoord hy en lag sy amper-seunslag uit sy maag. Die tradisionele drankmengsel waarvan ons al heelwat in het, het duidelik ‘n effek op my lewensmaat. Sy blik bly op Renier vir net ‘n oomblik langer as wat my gemaklik laat voel, maar ek maak of ek dit nie sien nie. Seker maar nuuskierig. Ons is al byna twee jaar saam en nog nooit het hy my verneuk of ek vir hom nie. Daar was daardie paar kere wat ons op wilde partytjies saam ‘n ander ou bed toe gesleep het, maar dit was die uitsondering en ons was half spyt daarna. Hy het minder daarvan gehou as ek. Later sluit Renier by ons aan in ‘n swart gewaad. Dit lyk swaar, maar is van sy en deursigtig as hy teen die lig staan. Hy het duidelik niks onder aan nie. Ek en hy was nooit vriende nie, maar ken mekaar al jare – voor hy Londen toe is. Ek het nog altyd van hom gehou en was bly toe ek van sy suksesse hoor. Santa se uitnodiging is met sy wete gemaak, anders sou ons nie gekom het nie. Hy gaan sit langs Santa en begin behaaglik trek aan die hubbly bubbly. Die soet rook van die hashish vul die vertrek. Dit word aangestuur en ek huiwer. Ek is nie lus om bedwelm te raak nie, ons het in elk geval genoeg gedrink. Onder die Italianders langs ons se aanmoediging en Santa se aanhoudende druk dat dit “net ligte Afghaan” is, vat ek en Lenny ‘n paar trekke. Die effek is amper oombliklik. Al wat ek kan onthou is Santa se amper-gille en Renier wat onder die lae tafel inkruip soos hy in ‘n lagbui verval. Die hele plek ontaard na ‘n ruk in ‘n harde kakofonie van vreemde musiek, mense wat skree van die lag en slae van die trom waarmee Bondina haarself besig hou. Ek kan onthou dat ek op ‘n stadium vir Lenny gesê het ek voel naar en wil kamer toe, en dat ons op boontoe is onder luide protestering van die ander. Daardie nag droom ek. Ek droom van ‘n reuse seewurm wat onder in die hawe maal en blaas en die see laat kook. Hy spuug soos ‘n waterkanon uit sy bek – sekuur na bo en tref vliegtuie wat oor die eiland vlieg vasteland toe. Dit val soos wit voëls na onder. Santa is ook daar en dans om my terwyl sy hardop met toe oë dreun-sing. “Gee Lenny vir hom!” gil sy opeens. “Die wurm gaan ons almal doodmaak! Hy het Lenny op die strand gesien en wil hom hê!” gil sy, “dis hoekom hy die vliegtuie uithaal – hy is bang hy vertrek weer!”. Sy skree so hard dat ek skaars die ander gille regdeur die huis en van onder by die strand hoor. Die see kook sissend soos die draakagtige seewurm daarin draai en kolk en raas. Ek draai om na Lenny wat my met groot, bang oë aankyk. “Nee!’, sê ek.” Ons bly net hier. Die wurm kan nie uit die see uit nie – almal weet dit! Hy gaan tog weer lê – dan sal ons vertrek!”. “Neeeee! Geeee hom!!” gil Santa en hardloop al hortend die trappe af tussen die verwarde, huilende mense in die hoofvertrek deur. Ek skrik met ‘n vaart wakker. Dis nog half donker, maar die rooi verskyn al teen die horison. Ek is papnat gesweet en draai om na Lenny om hom van die droom te vertel. Sy plek is leeg. Ek is alleen in die kamer.

Almal kyk op as hulle die swaar voordeur onder hoor oopgaan. Aniel, die hoofkneg, haas hom

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Opening Hours: Wed 25/04 : 8pm to close • Thur 26/04 till Sat 28/04 : 10am to close •Sun 29/04 12pm to close

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PROGRAMME DATE Wednesday 25 Apr. 2012 Thursday 26 Apr. 2012 Thursday 26 Apr. 2012 Thursday 26 Apr. 2012 Thursday 26 Apr. 2012 Thursday 26 Apr. 2012 Thursday 26 Apr. 2012 Thursday 26 Apr. 2012 Thursday 26 Apr. 2012

Friday 27 Apr. 2012 Friday 27 Apr. 2012

Friday 27 Apr. 2012 Friday 27 Apr. 2012 Friday 27 Apr. 2012 Friday 27 Apr. 2012

Saturday 28 April 2012 Saturday 28 April 2012



Zanzibar Cocktail Lounge 10:00 Loeriehof Retirement Home 12:00 Paula Whitney Crèche

COST R20 per person

Visit and gift packs Handover of clothing, non perishable items etc to Knysna Welfare R90 per person

Emile Minnie in Cabaret

R60 per person

Tour and Tasting

Art Exhibition Opening

21:00 Zanzibar Cocktail R20 per person Lounge 12:00 DAVANNA Wine Bar (ex R15 per person Upstairs on Main) (Girls Venue)

12:00 Zanzibar Cocktail Lounge 11:00 Mithcell’s Brewery 12:30 14:30 19:00 The Turbine Water Club Deli and Oyster Bar 20:00 Zanzibar Cocktail Lounge 21:00 Zanzibar Cocktail Lounge DAVANNA Wine Bar (ex Upstairs on Main) (Girls Venue)

12:00 Zanzibar Cocktail Lounge Zanzibar Cocktail Lounge

Meet & Greet Hero’s Morning Tea & Concert for the Elderly in association with Globeflight

13:00 Knysna Welfare 12:00 Zanzibar Cocktail Lounge 11:00 Mithcell’s Brewery 12:30 14:30 18:00 Knysna Fine Arts


Miss & Me Mardi Gras

R90 per person

•12pm to 3pm - Braai your own meat (we supply fires on the balcony, fresh bread rolls, garlic bread, 3 x Salads, Boerewors, Tjops and beef steak) for R35 per person •7pm to 9pm - Free wine tasting •8pm to 2am - DJ-mixed music and open dance floor •Specials for the duration of the mardi gras: •“Happy Hour-wheel” (This will be Spun every 2-3 Hours) •Many competitions with a variety of prizes •Specials on Amstel - R9 each •Patron Tequila - R15 per shot •Castle competitions - win lots of free beer or gear •Green Mamba - R14 each •Big Variety of shooter specials •Lots of Red Square prizes to be won The Little Poof! Big Bang!

R60 per person

Tour and Tasting

R250 per person R50 per person

VIP Dinner (3 course dinner)

R50 per person R40 per person

R90 per person R50 per person

Mardi Gras Party with Catherine (5fm), Kevin Grenfell (EMI/VIRGIN), DJ Sam (PLUM) & Charl Zero (CAPE TOWN) Mr Mardi Gras •10am to 11:30am - Champagne Breakfast (Full English breakfast buffet served with a glass of Champagne for R25 per person) •11am to 2am (Closing time) – Drinking Games •12pm to Closing time - Food Menu - Lunch / take a-way’s for sale including - Burgers, Filled Pita rolls, Vetkoek, Quiches and much more •3pm to 4pm - Green Mamba Promotion girls •Green Mamba Happy hour – from R12 each •5pm to 8pm - House DJ-mixed music •5pm to 6pm - Patron Tequila promotion - free tasting and special price from 5pm to 6pm for R13 per shot •8pm to 10pm - Mardi Gras Party with Resident DJ •9pm to 10pm - Me Butch & Miss Femme •10pm to 2am (Closing time) - Niqi B & Lindi Lush The Little Poof! Big Bang! •Street Parade 3pm - 4pm •Globeflight Hero’s After-Party with Catherine (5fm), Kevin Grenfell (EMI/VIRGIN), DJ Sam (PLUM) & Charl Zero (CAPE TOWN) @ 4pm •Mr Hot Pants competition @ 10pm

April-May 2012

Saturday 28 April 2012


DAVANNA Wine Bar (ex R40 per person Upstairs on Main) (Girls Venue)

Sunday 29 April 2012 Sunday 29 April 2012 Sunday 29 April 2012

12:00 Zanzibar Cocktail R90 per person Lounge 14:00 Zanzibar Cocktail R20 per person Lounge DAVANNA Wine Bar (ex R15 per person Upstairs on Main) (Girls Venue)

Monday 30 April 2012 Thursday 26 April 2012 to Sunday 29 April 2012

12:00 Zanzibar Cocktail R90 per person Lounge DAVANNA Wine Bar (ex Upstairs on Main) (Girls Venue)

MAP KEY 1. Zanzibar 2. Davanna Wine Bar 3. Pink Loerie Market 4. Knysna Fine Arts 5. The Turbine Water Club And Deli 6. Pledge Square 7. Mitchell’s Brewery

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•10am to 11:30am - Champagne Breakfast (Full Boere breakfast buffet served with a glass of Champagne for R25 per person) •11am to 2am (Closing time) – Drinking Games •12pm to Closing time - Food Menu - Lunch / take a-way’s for sale including - Burgers, Filled Pita rolls, Vetkoek, Quiches and much more •1.30pm to 2.30pm - Green Mamba Promotion •Green Mamba Happy hour – R12 each •2pm to 2.30pm - Miss Wet T-shirt competitions - No entry fee for competition (Variety of prizes for each contestant as well as big prices for the winner) •5pm to 6pm - Patron Tequila promotion - free tasting and special price from 5pm to 6pm for R13 per shot •5pm to 2am - Pink Loerie After Party with Mis-Fit, D Jay Blend & Lindi Lush The Little Poof! Big Bang! Recovery party with DJ Charl Zero (CAPE TOWN) •10am to 11:30am - Babelas Breakfast (full Boere breakfast made on the fire served with an Ice cold Beer for R25 per person) •12pm to 5pm - Come and enjoy a Homemade “Potjie” made on the balcony, served with “pot brood” and salads. •2.30pm to 8pm - Live Music with local bands •8pm to 2am (Closing time) - with Mis-Fit, Lil Miss Trouble & Lindi Lush and Karaoke, competitionprizes for the best and worse singer and performances Emile Minnie in Cabaret •10% off Entrance for all Students (need to show student card) •Buy a Pink Loerie Girls Ticket for entrance to Davanna Wine Bar from 26 to 29 April 2012 for R100 for all 4 days/ nights. •All of the above mentioned days will have promo girls, and there will be something new happening every minute of the day. •2 x Alcoholic beverage Hampers will be sponsored by Davanna Wine Bar for Me Butch and Miss Femme worth R1000 each. This will include products from Red Square, Bonnievale Cellars, Platinum Wines and spirits, Sam Rose Wines and Brandhouse.

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April-May 2012

Friday Night: Niqi B & Lindi Lush

Saturday & Sunday Afternoon: Mis-Fit

Saturday Night: D Jay Blend & Lindi Lush

Sunday Night: Lil Miss Trouble & Lindi Lush

Tel: 044 382 2758 • Email: info@davannawinebar.net • Main Road, Knysna (opposite Zanzibar)

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HISTORY OF MITCHELLS BREWERY Mitchell’s brewery was started in 1983 in Knysna by Lex Mitchell. We started off brewing only Forester’s Lager and Bosun’s Bitter for distribution and sale in Knysna. The product was so popular that they had to move to much bigger premises to keep up with demand. The growth led to Lex opening a Cape Town branch of Mitchell’s Brewery in 1989 to be able to offer our fine draught’s to the Cape Town market. The popularity of the beers saw other lines being added to our repertoire, and so the business grew. In 1998 Mitchell’s Brewery was sold to Scottish and Newcastle (a massive brewing group in the UK). The brewery was run by them for 4 years. In 2002, the business was bought back from Scottish and Newcastle by Dave McRae (Dave has been working and brewing at Mitchell’s since 1984, and still runs the Knysna operation) and Allan Hodgson (a business man from Johannesburg with a love for good beer). The Cape Town branch was then sold off to an independent operator. In April 2008 Allan decided to buy back the Cape Town brewery, and run it himself with his partner (and son in law) James Henderson. The brewery had come full circle. In February 2009 the Roach family acquired the rights to distribute Mitchell’s finest in Gauteng and the North West province extending Mitchell’s reach to its customers. The company has grown in leaps and bounds, and is now South Africa’s second biggest brewery. Mitchell’s is a real family business, and most of our staff has been with the company for more than 10 years.

April-May 2012

AFRICAN FAIRY TALE There once was a king in a faraway land who had six wives and twenty-seven legitimate children. His wives were ladies of stature who loved to dress well, have their hair styled in the newest fashion or their heads adorned with the most natural of wigs, go to spas for massages, decorate their palaces in the best décor, throw the most lavish of parties or when the stress of every day life became unbearable, spend some allimportant hours with their therapists. One day, the king came home from his many travels to visit and speak to his chiefs and male subjects and decided that he needed the loving care of his first - and main wife. He went to her palace and requested that she sees to it that her household prepares the best meal for him and serves him the best sorghum beer. The first wife barely spoke to him and retired to give the orders. After waiting for longer than he was accustomed to, the king went to find his first wife. The servants were no where to be seen. No meal was prepared and the beer was not chilled. Angry, he stormed into her room and demanded an explanation. She was dressed in a very strange yellow polka dot dress with an enormous pink bowtie on her head. “See!” she said, “See what you did! My best designer says this is the newest fashion. And he has never been wrong. And I trusted him! And then all the ladies at the tea party laughed and laughed at me. And the waiters fell over their tables. And the busboy broke ten plates because he could not see through his tears! And it is all your fault! You fix this!” Astounded the king left the palace to seek solace with his second wife. She opened the door herself because she could hear his cavalcade of cars approaching from ten miles away. The king did not get as far as the door when she shouted: “You! You look at my hair!” The king could not hide his surprise when he saw her new hairstyle. It looked like a nest of steel pot cleaners was pressed into her scalp. With no anaesthetic by the looks of it. “It’s all your fault! You fix this!” she screamed. The king went from wife to wife with even more disastrous results. The one wife was at the hospital trying to get her limbs untangled from a humanly impossible yoga position. One was crying in her lounge on a sofa which resembled a giant white Maltese poodle. Another was passed out drunk on cheap wine slumped half way out of her tanning bed with second degree burns to forty percent of her body. And the last one, the youngest of them all, was at the police station being charged with attempted murder because she tried to strangle a well-known – and expensive – psychologist with six strings of pearls. The king hastily called his prime minister and told him that his households were in shambles and that he can not afford the shame – and the expense - of six divorces. He did nothing wrong to any of his wives – he was a good provider, he saw to it that the government taxes were equally divided between all, with allowance for seniority and the number of children of each. He visited regularly and attended to his manly duties. What on earth could have gone so wrong in just one day? His prime minister said to him: “My king, did you forget 2006? Did you forget how I was humiliated? You have wronged the wrong people sire. You insulted the moffies – the stabane. Your problems will only increase. Your nuptial troubles will pale in comparison. We have prepared a statement for you. It says you were translated wrongly. We will call the press now and you have your secretary read this to them. You fix this.” CK 23.01.2012

We pride ourselves on our high service levels, as well as the fantastic quality of all our beers.




BREWERY TOURS At 11:00, 12:30 and 14:30 Brewery Tour & Tasting R60 pp Brewery, Beer & Oysters R135 pp (for oysters, booking required at least 1 day in advance)



From 11:00 - 16:00 Beer tasting R40 pp






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